#least I know what the little hat does to a C and an S

[poundfooolish]

Strong high school memories of downloading Čarobnjakov šešir one fuckin pixel at a time because it was the entirely untranslated sequel to my favorite childhood movie, just me and some guy in fuckin Croatia probably building this torrent together in the few hours on stolen high school internet, which I then watched and still have despite not speaking a lick of croatian NO I still don't know what the plot is but it was all about my favorite little side character and I was dedicated.

do you know how hard it is to find one movie in a language you don't speak from a country that also does not seem to give a shit about this movie and also you can't point out on a map. In 2008.

[rykno-j]

Stay? (B/SD)

Summary: basically c/huuya gets sick and d/azai takes care of him, very cliche

Ship: s/kk

Notes: my first b/sd fic. honestly i never intended to write one, but here we are. This fic was drafted Sept 21 2023 and wow that's been awhile huh.

They might be a little ooc here since i'm trying my hand at their characterisation for the first time. Apologies in advance for any mistakes!

also i figured ild add this in here but this fic is sickfic>snzfic so there isnt much of that kinda stuff here

Word count: 4.5k

------------------------------------------------

"Chuuya, rest."

The red markings on Chuuya's arm slowly disappeared as he fell to the floor in a soft grunt. Letting go of his arm down in an action of indifference, Dazai stepped over his sprawled out body.

"Took you long enough, honestly. It was almost like you were taking your own sweet time, don't want me to touch you that badly?"

When he was met with no response, Dazai sighed dramatically.

"Chibi? Oi, are you dead? You're not allowed to go before me, you know that. Oi!"

He turns back, this time with an eyebrow raised at the unmoving Chuuya-lump on the floor. Seriously? He would've expected the slug to reply with a "I'll kill you first" or a punch of sorts.

Chuuya was never quite as energetic after using Corruption, but this silence was new.

And so Dazai does the next most logical thing, which was to kick him with the edge of his shoe, once, twice, thrice- Alright, something was wrong.

Doing a quick check of his surroundings for any passersby (god forbid anyone from the Port Mafia or the ADA see what he was about to do next), Dazai knelt down next to Chuuya's body, flipping him onto his back.

"Oi Chibi!"

When he was met with no response, Dazai seriously considered leaving Chuuya in the middle of what used to be the battlefield. Surely someone would find him eventually, right?

It was how it always was, how it always has been.

Though.. there was no one in their vicinity at the moment, and it won't hurt to check Chuuya's vitals, to make sure the idiot didn't actually die on him.

Two fingers were swiftly placed under Chuuya's chin, and- Fever. Dazai was fairly sure that he felt fever under his fingers.

There was a steady heartbeat too, so that was good at least.

But a fever? Surely he was imagining it. Yes, Chuuya tended to run a little hot, both in his temperature and in his temper (although most of the time it was directed at Dazai himself), but there was no mistaking the heat that he was radiating.

This time, the pair of bandaged hands reached for Chuuya's shoulders, giving him a couple shakes, which proved successful as he heard the other below him let out a soft groan.

"..D'zai?"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Immediately knowing what Dazai was referring to, Chuuya furrowed his eyebrows into a frown. "Idiot, it's none of your concern. Just take me back home."

Dazai opened his mouth to complain, but stopped when he saw Chuuya's eyes slide back shut. Seriously? Seriously. It was not the first time Chuuya had made a similar request, and it would also not be the first time if Dazai just walked off into the distance, leaving him there alone.

Despite that, Dazai always made sure that Chuuya was okay before he abandoned the other. Did this count as 'okay'?

And so,

"You owe me one.." Dazai caved, reaching out to lift Chuuya onto his back. He considered for a second just grabbing Chuuya by his ankles, dragging him home that way. Admittedly, Dazai did almost do that, if not for the time limit they had before someone would eventually arrive at the scene.

So draped over his back it was. Chuuya's apartment wasn't far, he could make it.

Gathering the fallen coat and hat (regrettably, Dazai did indeed resign and picked it up), he disappeared behind the trees.

====================================

The journey back was eerily silent. Given the relationship between the two, it was a surprise. No bickering, no fighting, just the steady but heavy sound of footsteps coming from Dazai.

He could hear, could feel Chuuya breathing behind him, but worry still found its way into his head. Not that that was important or anything.

Dazai whined. "You're really heavy you know.."

(Talk to me, say something snarky back.)

Dazai attempted a weak insult. "Never been this high off the floor before huh? It's a whole new view from way up here."

(Open your eyes, please.)

He felt stupid talking to himself.

==================================

Chuuya's front door. He hasn't been here in a long while, and it definitely was not the first time he came uninvited. But this didn't count, did it? Chuuya had asked him to bring him home.

Key. Just focus on getting the door open.

Lowering himself to the ground, Dazai propped Chuuya's body up against the door. Now, where would Chibi put his key..

When both coat pockets came up empty, Dazai eyed Chuuya's unconscious body. Should he try searching for the keys on him?

Then, he remembered a moment they shared together, one where they had headed to Chuuya's place after a mission years ago, when Dazai was still in the Port Mafia.

They had gotten thrown around quite a bit that day, and as fun as it was, Chuuya's key seemed to have been shaken right out of his pocket. Exhausted, they had fallen asleep right by the steps leading up to the door, seemingly forgetting that Chuuya could have blasted through the window if he really wanted to.

Dazai dropped the coat on Chuuya's lap, turning to the pots of plants outside the house. Seriously? He was surprised the plants were even still alive.

As obvious at that spot would have been, Dazai found the key he was looking for under a pot of cacti. He unlocked the door, hauling Chuuya's body in with him.

The living room was a familiar sight. The couch was in the same position, and so was the dining table. It was as if all those years had never passed.

Dazai looked at the body sprawled across the floor.

So what now? Should he leave? Chuuya hadn't asked him to do anything else, not that he would have complied anyway.

..He would probably be much more comfortable lying on the couch. Yeah, he could do that.

Dazai looked at the body sprawled across the couch.

So what now? Why wasn't he moving to leave? Chuuya probably didn't want to open his eyes only for Dazai to be the first thing he sees.

..That thought alone almost made him sit down and wait for Chuuya to wake up.

However, a small whine dragged Dazai out of his scheming. When he looked down, there was a pained expression on Chuuya's face. Even in the dimmed lights, Dazai could partially make out the feverish flush on the other's cheeks.

..He could wet a towel for Chuuya. Yeah, he could do that.

And so Dazai stands up, making his way to bathroom. Just being in the room brought back a few memories. All the times that he would sit, propped up against the sink as they tended to each other's wounds after a mission.

Dazai pulls open one of the cupboards below the sink in search for a towel, and that's when he freezes.

All the way to the back of the compartment, there was a small stack of bandages, the same ones that Dazai liked to use. But why? Chuuya rarely got injured, and if he did, like heck he was using those bandages. Knowing him, Chuuya would probably just walk it off.

Maybe he just didn't want to throw away the leftovers. Yeah, that was it.

He found a towel after that. Wetting and wringing it, Dazai stepped back into the living room. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Chuuya's open bedroom door.

A peek inside would never hurt, right?

Making a slight detour, Dazai popped his head into the doorway. Surprisingly (or maybe not), everything looked pretty much the same. The bed was still haphazardly made in a sort of neat, Chuuya way.

A stray hat sat in the center of his desk. Dazai couldn't contain his eye roll.

He approached the table, his eye catching onto a dull shine of metal. It was a tablet tray of pills. He flipped it over. Paracetamol. And it was half empty.

So the fever wasn't a recent thing.

===================================

He hoped the wet towel would help.

Chuuya never fell sick often, and when he did, he was rather augmentative and closed off. To Dazai, that was Chuuya just being Chuuya, so he never treated the other differently in those moments, not that they happened often enough for him to act any other way.

So this was new. It wasn't an unpleasant type of new, just a little awkward. It was never quiet when Chuuya was around, unless they were sleeping, and Dazai was wide awake.

Maybe he should busy himself with cooking something. Cook. For Chuuya.

..What where they? Married? Dazai felt his tongue stick out at the thought. But still, he got up and headed for the kitchen.

Maybe he should try poisoning Chuuya's portion. That would be fun to watch. Unfortunately, he didn't have any vials on him at the moment.

Even better, he could pretend that he did something to the food.

That thought alone gave Dazai the motivation to look through the fridge. In the main compartment, all he found was alcohol. The second eye roll of the day ghosted his face. Chuuya was a lightweight after all.

Moving to the vegetables drawer, he was pleasantly surprised to see it filled. He never took Chuuya as someone who knew how to cook. Dazai himself normally ate at the cafe downstairs with the rest of the agency.

Though.. on the off-chance that someone would cook for the whole office, those meals always felt a little more homey.

Picking a variety of vegetables, Dazai turned towards the kitchen, sliding the door shut behind him.

========================================

It was at that moment that Chuuya decided to wake up. He knew he was at home, on his couch? What happened?

Fuck. His head hurt. His limbs hurt. There was something pressing his head down. Lifting a heavy arm, Chuuya reached for the item on his forehead.

A damp cloth?

That idiot Dazai probably put it there. Sleeping gas? It made sense, since he was knocked out for so long..

Or at least it felt long; with how sore his neck was feeling from lying flat on his back. Couldn't the bandaged disaster at least be considerate enough to put a pillow under his head?

..Come to think of it, Dazai did carry him home, which was a far cry from what he normally did to begin with. Whatever, he'd let it slide.

"..snff-"

"..hH'!! hAH'gGnshH-w!! G'nNEsHH!!"

So that's what he would have to deal with for a few days, huh. He had really thought it had been nothing more than a slight fever.

Maybe using Corruption had made it worse.

"..hiH'!! hH- hhH'!! h'ERrshH!"

When he sniffled into the back of his palm, Chuuya found that he could hardly get any air through. This sucked.

A shower might help.

=====================================

In the closed kitchen, Dazai barely heard Chuuya's movements as he reached for a knife. Staring at it, he pondered for a moment if he should just-

No. Chuuya would kill him if the white counter was stained with his blood. It would give the shorty a good scare, but his fun could wait.

While it wasn't his first time chopping vegetables, it certainly had been awhile. Still, the carrrots, potatoes and corn were all sliced up in minutes. He didn't brag about his dexterous fingers for nothing.

And if the knife came too close to his fingers too many times, no it didn't.

Throwing all the ingredients into the simmering pot, Dazai poured in some chicken stock. He didn't know how much was the recommended amount, so half the carton would have to do.

Besides, there was no way he'd even look at the instructions behind. He was already cooking for the chibi, he didn't want to have to read for him too.

Dazai stared at the stove.

..What now?

---

The moment Chuuya stripped off his clothes, he had to grab the edge of the sink as he was hit by a dizzy spell. Fair, he did get up from the couch rather abruptly. He hadn't eaten since the morning either.

He was shivering, despite the buckets of sweat he produced in the recent battle.

Chuuya hated falling sick, hated the weakness and vulnerability that came with it. He was supposed to be the one who people depended on. How could he protect anyone when he could barely even stand straight?

Without his strength there was little use for him.

"..hH'!! H'gKsHHew! heH'DzzchH!!"

And there was that too.. but at least this part of his forming cold proved that he was human. The inability of controlling his sneezes.

In any case, he should get into the shower quickly before his thoughts got the better of him.

Scalding hot water.

==================================

Surely the pot should not be boiling that heavily. Dazai stared at it, wondering how the surface would feel under his fingers should he touch it. The fleeting thought brought a smile to his face.

A rather rough bunch of bubbles almost caused the lid to fly off entirely. He should probably turn the fire down.

A gentle, warm aroma slowly filled the kitchen. Dazai estimated that it would be ready in a couple tens of minutes.

Perfect, he could use that time to-

The kitchen door slides open.

..To check on-

"Chuuya?"

The couch was empty. Did someone break into the house to steal him? Dazai didn't remember locking the door. Chuuya was really compact and pocket-sized too, but who would want to kidnap that feisty thing?

So of course, he deduced that Chuuya probably moved himself somewhere else.

"Chibi?"

Dazai stepped into the hallway, his gaze casting down upon the trail of water leading from the bathroom to is bedroom.

Seriously, did Chuuya not know that towels exist? Someone could slip and fall and die here! Someone like Dazai himself!

Playing with the possibility of such a humorous death, Dazai followed the trail to the room, poking his head into the doorway for the second time that day.

With the ends of his feet barely touching the edge of the bed, Chuuya laid in the center, neck tilted back on the pillow, snoring softly.

It was a familiar sight, Dazai noticed himself staring. The bed was once big enough for the two of them.

Not now, of course, Dazai muses. Even if Chuuya hadn't grown an inch, he sure did. There was no way they'd fit on the mattress together now.

..Not that he wanted to or anything. No, definitely not.

Chuuya's hair was still damp, and there was a strained expression on his sleeping face. Moving by himself, Dazai reached for the neatly folded blanket by the foot of the bed.

=====================================

1hr later:

Chuuya woke with the edge of his blanket pressed under his nose. He didn't remember pulling it up. After he took a shower, his body was too exhausted to do anything but collapse facedown into the pillows

Or.. maybe he had done that. Chuuya lived alone, there was no way someone else had done it instead.

"..hIH'NgtxchhH!! haH'gtcHH-w!" That being said, it was still way too cold even with the blanket covering him.

He rubbed the back of his fist against his nose roughly before tossing around in bed, annoyed.

Everything felt too stuffy, too hot. He was hungry too. Maybe some takeout would be good for today.

Chuuya stretched out a tired hand, groping around for his phone. Finding nothing, he sighed, faintly remembering that his coat was still outside on the floor somewhere.

"..hih'hA-Ngxt!!"

Guess he won't be getting any food today, then. Chuuya prided himself as a strong, capable man, but when it came down to times like these, he was willing to be weak.

As long as he was alone.

=======================================

Dazai looks up towards the bedroom, eyes flickering between the television screen and the hallway.

Despite himself, he was still at Chuuya's apartment, nevermind that an entire hour has passed.

Instead of wandering around, Dazai chooses to set up the gaming station below the television. He and Chuuya used to go on at it for hours against each other.

"Take this!"

"Not so fast, Chuuya. You think you can beat me that easily??"

There was a layer of dust sitting on top of console, showing obvious signs of disuse. His old controller was laid against it next to Chuuya's, the plastic worn down and peeling.

Lost in his daydream, Dazai barely manages to catch the smell of ready-soup coming from the kitchen. Now to get a couple bowls.

Transferring the soup into them should have been an easy task, if Dazai had remembered that heat existed. Well, excuse him for trying to pick up the pot with his bare hands and pouring it into the bowl, it's not like he cooked on a regular basis, or knew that there was a special spoon for such occasions known as the ladle.

Whatever the case, it took all but a few minutes to find a tray, put the bowls on it, and walk out of the kitchen.

==================================

Maybe he should have sucked it up and went to get his phone, Chuuya thinks and he stares at the ceiling. His stomach was screaming at him to fill it up with something, anything.

He stares at the stain next to the lightbulb and scowls. Years ago, the bulb and blown a fuse and needed repairing. But like hell Chuuya was going to put the stepladder on his bed, even if he was too short to reach it otherwise.

Thankfully, Dazai had shown up like a Saint at the time and fixed it for him, not without leaving his mark, of course. Like a damn animal he marked the ceiling with a dusty handprint that Chuuya could never clean off.

His fever must be off the charts if its enough to make him recall anything that had to do with his ex-partner. If Chuuya had had the strength at that moment, he would've slapped himself silly. That being said, he could probably wrap a damp cloth around the end of a long pole and bring it up to the stain to-

"ChUuYA!!"

"oH FUCK!"

Jumping out of his skin high enough that maybe he didn't need that pole after all, Chuuya sits up in his bed. His pillow, the blanket, the chair, his hat, everything glowed red and was ready to be used as a weapon.

"DAZAI, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Aw Chuuyaa~ That's the kind of greeting I get even when I'm trying to do something nice? You're lucky I'm touching this tray, or it might've went up with all the other things and split all my hard work!!"

"Never mind the fucking tray! What are you doing here?"

Dazai opens his mouth, a tone of mockery already ready at the tip of his tongue, yet nothing came out. Chuuya was right, what was he doing here? How would he explain why he was carrying soup to Chuuya in bed without the other thinking he had lost his mind?

Come to think of it, he didn't even know himself why he was doing this.

Chuuya stares at the Dazai in his room. Seriously, what was he thinking? Coming over uninvited like that, especially knowing the state he was in right now. There was no way this was a planned move to take him out at his weakest. As shitty as Dazai was, Chuuya knew at the back of his mind that the other would never harm him intentionally without the confidence that he won't die from it.

So that only left one explanation, one that Chuuya refused to even entertain - that Dazai was actually trying to take care of him. He almost laughs at the thought.

And he might've, if this was another day in which he wasn't hazed in fever. Plus the silence was getting awkward, so Chuuya forced himself to say something.

"..I'm not interested in your answer anyway. So are you coming in or not? You're being an eyesore just standing in the middle of my room."

"A tall eyesore?" Dazai chirped back, his behavior instantly returning to normal once he was in his element, (that being in a state in which he endlessly makes fun of Chuuya).

"Yeah yeah, a tall eyesore that he trying to poison me. Is this the Agency's masterplan after all? Poison?"

"Me?!" Dazai dramatically puts his hand on his forehead. "Poisoning you?? Before I use the poison on myself to end my own miserable life? Oh ChuUya, you should know me better than that!"

"Whatever. Just give it to me." Chuuya rolls his eyes, snatching a bowl over and eyeing it suspiciously. "You went through all the trouble of buying takeout?"

"Of course not! Why would I ever do so much for a slug like you?"

"So then you cooked for me." It was phrased more like a statement than a question, and for the second time that night, Dazai didn't know what to say.

"The uh- the knife. It looked tempting."

"Uh-huh. Bet it sure was difficult to keep all 10 of your fingers intact."

"You know me so well!"

"..Right." With the conversation not going any further, Chuuya picks up the spoon, stirring the liquid gently. It smelt good, and the steam coming from the bowl really helped to loosen up the congestion in his nose.

Which was good, but also bad timing, as Chuuya was suddenly overwhelmed by the need to sneeze. Hitching ever so slightly, he turns to face the wall, using his skill to control the gravity of the mucus such that it wouldn't irritate his nose even more as it threatened to drip out.

The last thing he wanted was to give Dazai something else to make fun of him for.

It was silent for a moment as Chuuya lifts the spoon to his lips.

"..."

"What?"

"..."

"I swear I did not poison the soup."

"No- it's not that. The soup.. it tastes.. good."

Dazai stares at Chuuya as if he'd grown an extra head. "..Chibi's lying!"

"I'm not, you idiot. Sigh, why do I even try?"

Before Chuuya could even shake his head in exasperation, a flash of brown jumps his soup.

"What are you doi-!?"

Dazai grabs onto Chuuya's arm, somehow managing to miraculously not spill a drop as he grabs onto the spoon to try a sip.

This is bad. Bells rang in Chuuya's head as he felt his skill get nullified by Dazai's.

"M-hH!!" Move! He wanted to scream, would have, if the tickle in his nose wasn't this extreme.

Well, the suicide maniac asked for it anyway.

"Hh'! HNNgxt! ..hA'DzzchH!!" Chuuya gasps, pressing a wrist tightly against his nose. "hIH' gZZtchH!!"

"Chuuya is so rough with himself!"

"Don't talk like you're not the one who c'hh!-caused this!"

"Really," Dazai started, brushing a bit of his arm that had been in the crossfire of the spray upon his pants. "If anything Chibi's the one who caused this onto himself."

"Hah? The fuck did you say?"

"Now now-" Dazai places his index finger directly between Chuuya's furrowed eyebrows. "I'm not the one who decided to use corruption through a fever and then pass out in front of everyone."

Chuuya clenches his teeth, swatting the other's arm away. "Don't talk like you don't make shitty decisions all the time, suicide-obsessed mackerel."

"Slug."

"Why do you even care anyway?!" the porcelain bowl cracks under his grip. "You never had before so don't act like you do now."

Dazai opened his mouth to answer with a witty remark, but nothing came out. This outburst was different from the rest that Chuuya normally gave him. Insults, he could handle, but this? What was he supposed to say to that?

'Yeah I don't care about you?' 'No I do care about you?' One was a lie and one made him sound like a bottom.

Chuuya just stared at the bowl in his hand, watching as the soup drip, drip, dripped down his forearm. He knows what he said wasn't true, the fact that Dazai stayed was evidence enough.

Fucking fever, always making him say the wrong sh-

"I'm sorry."

The fuck? Chuuya snaps his head upwards, looking at Dazai from between the strands of hair that had fallen over his face. He scanned the other's expression, expecting something akin to a smirk. But there was none.

"I mean- Well! I'll leave Chibi to his tacky hats then." Dazai suddenly says, his voice lively yet strained. He reaches for the stray hat on the table, putting upon Chuuya's head and pulling the brim over his eyes.

Annoyed, Chuuya whips the damn thing off his head, prepared to shove it into Dazai's chest. But by the time he looks back at the other, all that could be seen was the tips of Dazai's coat-tails rounding out of his bedroom door.

"Hey wai-" Tears shot to Chuuya's eyes as he choked on air. With one leg on the floor and the other still nestled under the covers, he bent over coughing violently as his lungs struggled to comprehend what the fuck just happened.

His throat was burning. There was no way he could catch up to Dazai now.

-

After what seemed like forever, Chuuya's lungs finally decided to restart, allowing him to breathe in his first huge breath of air. Through blurry eyes, he barely managed to focus on the mess of beige in front of him.

"Chibi's so small he choked on air molecules?"

"Ah fuck you," Chuuya mumbled. He grabbed the glass of water Dazai held out for him, purposely avoiding eye-contact to prevent the other from noticing his shock and gratitude.

"You're welcome~ aand, you should probably put that down," referring to the bowl of soup that was barely holding itself together.

'Right." Chuuya placed it upon the tray. "Well," this was awkward. Just 2 minutes ago they were at each other's throats, and now they were.. staring at the ground in silence. "..I should, wash these. Plus you probably wrecked the kitchen, so I'll- yeah."

"Chuuya- are you sure you should-" Dazai started, then stopped.

Curse being partners for years, Chuuya knew what he meant even before he started. "It's just a cold, idiot. I'll be fine washing dishes. Stop cari- ahem. You look like shit, go shower or something."

When he got no reply, Chuuya continued. "There's bandages below the sink you can use, and- well. There's a set of clothes your size somewhere in my cupboard."

And this, snaps Dazai out of his silent trance. "So ChuuUya was planning a sleepover behind my back?"

"It was for emergencies, dammit! If you ever needed somewhere safe to stay, or something." Leaving it as that, Chuuya briskly walks out of the room, leaving Dazai to his own thoughts.

-

The bandages, Dazai later notices, were manufactured a mere 2 years ago, right when he had joined the Detective Agency, back when Chuuya had no way of knowing if he was alive or not.

But he still thought about me. Still bought them with a chance that I would use them someday.

"You even got my favourite brand, Chibi."

Staring at the "ON SALE!!" sticker on the back of the box, Dazai breaks into a soft smile.

Maybe, if Chuuya would allow him, he'd stay the night.

-end-

---------------

ugh that ending felt so rushed but honestly i feel like it fits them, since i think that initally, caretaking would be really awkward for them.

Notes: thank you so much for reading, and i hope its alright that i branch out of j/jk since, well, everyones fucking dead (/j) but moreso because i fell in love with characters from other fandoms too <3

[knownangels]

party

wc: 3.5k

Benji keeps his head down, nose uncharacteristically in his phone. He hasn’t got much to take his attention on the screen; its an outdated model with few apps besides those pre-loaded. He uses it to text and occasionally prove Maran on the definition of some word with a quick web search, but that’s about it. 

He pretends to find something interesting in the notes app, as he’ll likely be doing a few hours from now. Swiping his thumb up and down the screen, seeming busy to bystanders (too many) doesn’t dull the noise of the store, however.

“Why the fuck d-does this list have —“ 

Benji glances up just in time to see Benny shake his own phone at the wall of refrigerated fresh juices. They’re in the organic section, which might as well be a completely foreign country to either of them. 

“What kind of store even stocks p-p-pomegranate juice?”

Benji rounds the cart, accidentally brushing up against a posh looking woman who seems a little miffed to be anywhere near the loud, brash blond’s vicinity. Still, her gaze sort of lingers on the back of his neck as she scoffs and pushes away, which makes Benji snort. 

“This kind.” He says, nudging Benny aside to point out the hourglass-shaped bottle of dark ruby liquid. “Right there, you bellend. Kill ya to be wrong and quiet?”

“Yes.” Benny clips out, snatching the bottle from the shelf and purposefully shoulder checking Benji as he tosses it in their cart. “It w-would. One fancy fuckin’ fruit juice down—“

Benji sneaks a peak at his list, noting the additions of several of Maran’s snack food amongst the alcohol and party basics. “Five to go?”

“What is she, hiring a full s-service bar?” Benny squints at the list then throws his hands up in the air. “Dragonfruit extract. That’s going to be a fuckin’ grand, at least. I haven’t even had that shit before.”

His tone of voice is one Benji knows well — he’s not really pissed off about the contents or length or price tag of Matilda’s list. She’s paying, after all. And her birthday events are pretty legendary; Benny’s almost guaranteed a good time, even if there will be one too many rich-taste cocktails for his liking. 

No, Benji recognizes his tone. It’s the get me the fuck out of here strain. For him, it’s near constant in a store. And Saturday morning, with the crowd and noise and — 

“Me either. But I’m not gonna be the one to turn up wth a short list.” 

Benny, hands on his hips, looks at their cart full of snacks and alcohol, paper plates and red plastic cups. “She’s not gonna notice one thing.”

Benji peers up at him, fingers clutching his phone tighter now. He’d really like to get going. “It’s Matilda.” He says. “And it’s her birthday. She’ll make it your funeral, too.“

Benny’s eyes narrow as he debates this. Then he sighs, head tilted dramatically back on his neck, and shoves the trolley forward with a hip. “Fuck. She really would, huh. N-No issue sharing the spotlight as long as I’m fucking dead.”

“I’d eulogize.” Benji offers as they circle the produce area, round the bakery, and head back towards the center of the store. 

“You would n-not.”

“I would.” He insists, sticking a foot between the wheels and Benny’s boots in so blatant a trip attempt that someone behind them laughs. “I’d start it somethin’ like: ‘we’re gathered here to remember’ — y’know, blah blah, how those go —“

“Sure.”

“And then I’d have to say, y’know, ‘he was a disgusting freak of nature but he was ours’.” 

“You’ll make me c-cry.” Benny deadpans. He sneers at someone blocking the aisle, which Benji respects. Another reason he hates this shit is because doing that, calling people on their shit public decency, isn’t socially acceptable for some reason. 

“We’ll never get rid of him, not really.’”

“Because he was such a light and good influence.”

“Nah,” Benji chirps. “Roach.”

“Fa—”

An elderly woman rounds the corner in front of them. Benny cuts himself immediately off, flashing her one of his weird yet charming grins with a little faux-hat tip. She rolls her eyes and flaps a hand, but takes the offered space and carries on with her shopping. 

*

They meander towards the exit once their cart fills a bit more. A pint of ice cream sneaks its way in among the party supplies. Benji shoots Benny a teasing look when he realizes it’s Maran’s favorite flavor — double chocolate brownie and peanut butter, and not from a particularly cheap brand.

“Might as well just tell ‘em.”

“Might as well just s-suck —“ Benny’s phone goes off with a tell-tale ding! Benji smirks; he’s got a special sound, some little cartoon noise from one of Maran’s favorite shows, to indicate a text from the man himself. 

“Not a word.”

“Fa—“

Suddenly, Xavier stumbles out from the neighboring aisle. He looks paler than normal, fingers twisted in the plastic casing of a bag of chips. 

“Holy shit they’re all out of Lucky Charms—guys!”

Benji pauses, having taken over trolley pushing duties when Ben’s phone came out to text. “Alright?”

“You guys left me.” Xavier pouts. He starts towards them and nearly barrels over someone, dances around them with comically exaggerated movements that are both graceful and graceless at the same time. Benji swipes his fingers over his mouth to hide the smile.

“Did not.” Benny argues, gesturing down the crowded aisle with too wide a sweep; he nearly hits someone too. “You went, ‘oh, they got the f-f-fancy cheese crackers here’ and ran off.”

Xavier aims that pleading puppy stare on Benji, who avoids eye contact and shrugs. He had done exactly that.

“I got way too high, dude,” Xavier whispers. His breath is hot on Benji’s neck, as close as he’s gotten. He does his best to ignore it. “I’m like five more seconds of noise away from running out screaming.”

Benji snorts. With a hand cupped under Xavier’s elbow, he guides them away from the crowded aisle towards a stack of chips. Xavier tucks one under his arm as they pass.

“Here.”

“Benji.” Xavier whines excitedly, tugging at Benji’s sleeve as he delves into his jacket pockets for — “Oh, shit. These are your good ones.” 

Benji deposits the pair of earbuds into Xavier’s massive palm, fighting another grin. They go into his ears immediately. He has a playlist on his phone specifically for — well, this. A bunch of electronic and house music he’s not particularly attached to

“Noise cancelling.” He offers. 

Xavier tilts his head, gesturing towards his ears. Can’t hear you — then the playlist starts. His face lights up. Benji has to turn away, cheeks flaming about the fact that Xavier follows only a step behind him the rest of their shopping. At the checkout, which is as crowded a section of the store as possible, their hips brush several times as Xavier tries to maneuver himself away from the press of bodies and noise. Still, his foot taps to the music. The sense of victory is enough that Benji doesn’t mind the drain from his account.

“Forgot my c-card.” Benny pouts exaggeratedly, out-turning his pockets and no doubt hiding the credit card between his fingers in some magic trick. Benji glances at Xavier, happily in his own world, and shrugs.

*

On the way back to the car, Benji hears a shout rise up in the parking lot. A patter of feet and the loud brrrr of a car horn follows. Something crashes into the back of his legs, and he stumbles against the boot with a soft, surprised noise.

“Yuna!” A familiar voice cries. Benji glances around for it, twisted at the waist, and then instinctively down.

Little arms wrap around his calves. Yuna, a sleight girl of six who sports a poorly managed bob because she insists on cutting it herself, clings to him. He knows her from the community center’s music program for kids; his first semester at the university, he’d found a flier in the campus bookstore requesting musicians for youth tutoring and has been doing it every weekend since. Yuna’s one of his favorites, and a bit of a genius besides.

“I saw you in the store!” She shouts. She lets go of Benji’s legs and takes a step back; his hand shoots out and grabs her shoulder, pulls her back away from the busy lot’s lane. 

“Yuna, where the f— where’s your mum?”

“Dad day.” She announces. Then her tiny voice drops, conspiratorial and whisper-light. “I saw you steal grapes.”

Behind him, already lazy behind the wheel while Benji unloads their party haul, Benny snorts. Benji’s face heats up, especially when he hears Xavier’s muffled what, what? and a shuffle that tells him the other man is getting out of the car.

“I wasn’t stealing.” Benji insists. He squats down to fix Yuna’s hood back up around her ears; it’s rainy, and the tips of them are going pink. “I was testin’ to see if they were good.”

“Were they?”

He shrugs, mouth pinched in a thoughtful grimace. “Meh.”

“Yuna!” 

Her father, out of breath, jogs across the parking lot. Benji rises to his feet and snatches Yuna up around his hip as he goes. She kicks and laughs, her rain boots knocking a familiar rhythm against his thigh.

“You been practicin’ that song?” Benji asks. He hears the passenger door shut, another set of footsteps on pavement. Slower than Yuna’s father as he approaches, and then they too pause.

“Ba-ba-ba-dum dududu bam!”

“Nice.” Benji laughs. He passes her off fluidly to her father as he approaches. “Can’t wait to hear it on Saturday.”

“I’m so sorry,” the older man says. He squeezes Yuna close, briefly burying his face in her neck. “Yuna, you can’t do that. Daddy needs you to stay holding my hand in the parking lot, okay?”

“But—“

“I told you we would say hi, but we didn’t want to bother Benji.”

“I wanted to bother him now.” Yuna insists. Her bottom lip trembles, but her eyes don’t well up. Benji tries not to laugh at the manipulation attempt.

Benji steps closer to fix her boot, which has started to slip off her foot from all the jostling. “Yeah, happy to be bothered. But you listen to your dad, okay? There’s a buncha cars and it’s dangerous to run around like that. You might see them, but they don’t always see you because you’re so little.”

“I’m not that little.” Yuna insists. She tugs at her father’s jacket lapel, turning the big shiny eyes to him instead with the same goal. Benji watches him soften a bit more and squeeze her tighter. “I got a whole ‘nother inch on my height chart yesterday.”

Benji whistles to indicate how impressed he is by this information.

“If you’re okay to be bothered more —“ her father says, pulling Benji’s attention up to his bespekcled face, “Yuna’s at mine this weekend. I’m, uh, doing this new meal prep thing. Made way too much food. If you have a day open…”

“Oh?” Benji tilts his head at the little girl, makes a face to get her to laugh. “Might have to rain check that, got a stacked calendar. But I’ll see this one Saturday like regular, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Yuna shouts, throwing both tiny fists into the air. 

“Uh. Yeah.” Her father agrees, with slightly less enthusiasm.

They say their goodbyes and Benji goes back to emptying the rest of the cart. He’s glad her father hadn’t made mention of the copious amount of alcohol going into the car. He’s almost done loading it all up when he glances over the hood.

Xavier stands on the other side of the car, his palms flat to the roof and face…strangely blank.

“You’re getting rained on.” Benji laughs incredulously. “M’all done here, already loaded up. Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Xavier says, voice thin over the following crack of thunder. 

Benji slips into the back of the Mustang, legs tucked up to accommodate the several angle Xavier has to slide back his own seat. He catches Benny’s red sunglassed stare in the rear view mirror, and raises his eyebrows.

“You get the DILF’s n-number, dude?” 

Benji scowls in confusion, Benny just continues staring, and Xavier slips lower in his seat, the volume of music blasting from his earbuds rising to a worrying level.

*

Later that evening, Xavier repays his debt tenfold. 

Well. Benji would never think of it that way. Anything he’s done to ease Xavier’s way a bit has been for just that —not with the end goal of reciprocation in mind.

Letting yourself get used? The mean little voice in the back of his head needles. Typical Benji, isn’t it.

The alcohol doesn’t make these sorts of thoughts louder, but it doesn’t pick at the careful netting that holds them back. And once that little hole in his defenses is made, they tend to spill out. 

He wonders if he looks as pathetic as he feels, wedged into as quiet a corner of the party as he can find, leaning against the wall. He’s got a rapidly warming beer in one hand, half-finished; it’s his third, maybe. Fourth. He hates the taste of this particular brand, but it’d gotten ignorable the more he’d drank, so. He’d kept going. 

And if it doesn’t quiet the sound of his own increasingly critical thoughts, it was least makes the external voices easier to muffle. Matilda throws a good party, and the people around him seem to be having more fun than he is; no one has approached him in a decent spell, not since he’d scowled openly at some poor, pretty blond from Matilda’s glass blowing class, or something. The invitation to dance had died before it could even be punctuated with a question mark. Benji felt a little bad for the twist of embarrassed rejection flashing across the young man’s face, but he was in no mood — and he was no dancer.

He sort of just wanted —

“I need to get out of here.”

Benji swings his head to the side. It’s a bit slower than his thrumming vision betrays. With hooded eyes, he stares up at…Xavier.

“You n’me both.” Benji responds. It’s soft against the steady bam bam bam of whatever top hundred chart song the stereo beats out. Xavier leans down to hear him better, their eyes never straying apart; that consistency makes Benji’s chest twinge. 

“So? Let’s go.”

Benji looks around. “It’s Matilda’s birthday.”

Xavier laughs, chin tilting back to flash pale throat. There’s a flashy rainbow strobe on her mantle, and it licks shades of blue, green, red across the column. Madly — drunkenly — Benji wonders if the skin tastes different under each color.

“She left, like, an hour ago dude.”

“What?”

“Irish departure, or whatever it’s called.” Xavier hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “Lark was my ride but he went with her.”

Benji’s turn to laugh at the absurdity of that. Good fodder to tease him about  later. What sort of prick leaves their best friend for a chance to get laid? He imagines asking. And, true to his nature, Benji imagines the chipper, smart-ass response: This kind, bro. 

*

The irony of his internal teasing is lost on him a half hour later, once they’ve miraculously survived the walk back to Xavier’s flat. There aren’t any suspicious sounds coming from either of the other two’s rooms, but they sneak on dramatic tiptoes, jostling each other and trying not to giggle, anyway. Whatever sort of sneakiness they think they have is totally undone by the loud slam of Xavier’s door as they tumble inside, falling against one another in a drunken effort to stay quiet.

The irony continues to elude him, even as Xavier finds a movie and kicks off his shoes and they turn around, room stifling hot for some reason, to change out of uncomfortable party clothes. Benji doesn’t thank him for the borrowed pajama set; a blue gone fishin’ shirt with holes in the ribs and a too-long pair of plaid joggers.

“What are we feeling. Looks like Netflix refreshed so all the good horror—“ 

Xavier breaks off suddenly. Benji gives up on rolling the hems up his ankles to access the silence, half expecting a monster or something equally frightening on the screen. Instead, its just some muted auto play trailer of a shit comedy. Xavier’s staring at a spot next to him, eyes glassy with a remaining alcohol sheen.

“Find something?”

“Yes.” Xavier says immediately. He loads up the movie and tosses the remote aside, diving under the blankets. Benji follows, notes the frame squeaks under their combined weight. Reminds himself to check the screws on the bottom, next time he thinks about it. Next time his fine motor skills aren’t significantly impaired, too.

“Did you have fun?” Benji asks over the jazzy lulling soundtrack of the opening credits.

Xavier tucks into his pillow, hand coming up to slip between his cheek and the soft jersey fabric. Benji watches him settle with heavy eyelids. 

“I’m not gonna lie, the best part of the day for me was getting to listen to music at the store.” Xavier admits with a giggle. “Sometimes that shit is so exhausting there’s no way I can have fun.”

Benji settles too; it takes a bit longer, shifting around on the mattress and ignoring the bump of their legs together. There’s no way to fit without touching, so eventually he gives in and slides his knee between Xavier’s own. 

“The store?” Benji asks sympathetically. 

“The party.” Xavier corrects, to his shock.

“You love parties.” Benji laughs. “You love dancin’ and music and talkin’ to people and crackin’ jokes so forty different drunk fucks piss ‘emselves laughing.”

Xavier casts a quick glance at the television. “Um. That’s a generous crowd estimate—“

“Fifty.”

“Shut up.” He huffs. He goes to kick at Benji, but with the angle and their intoxication, it’s no use. It only serves to tangle them together a bit more. Benji feels the ever-present tingle of a chill slip off him, replaced by a blanket of heat; between their bodies, touching, and the blankets Xavier hadn’t bothered to kick off, he’ll be sweating and over-warm in no time.

He refuses to fucking move.

“To be fair, you did a fair bit of hosting once Til disappeared.” 

“They went for a birthday walk.” Xavier intones like it’s a great secret. “Lark had a special gift for her, or something.”

“Or something.” Benji snorts nastily, his shoulders jumping with the force of a restrained laugh. 

“What—“ 

And its no longer restrained, once Xavier’s face crumples like that. With realization. Abject fucking horror, that look. Benji can only hysterically giggle at how the weight of that knowledge (or something, special gift) ages him in seconds. 

“M’so sorry, mate. Oh, fuck. Oh your face, Xavier, holy — m’sorry. Really.”

“You’re not.” Xavier whines. There’s no heat to his tone, no genuine annoyance or disgust. In fact, at least to Benji’s own ear, he sounds…amused. 

When his humored tear-heavy eyes crack open again, Benji finds himself being observed. 

“Something on my face?”

Xavier shakes his head. The quiet sounds of the movie carry on. Benji’s got no idea what it’s about, the characters, the plot. He feels stuck in place by the pinning green stare across the mattress. 

“Ddi you have fun?”

He deliberates this. Shopping was fine. He liked seeing his students out and about. Liked being recognized, made to feel important. He liked introducing Xavier (my friend), liked that he stood close and twitched to the music Benji provided, that he’d lingered in the kitchen while Benji helped with party prep, that he’d given the earbuds back dead because he enjoyed the playlist enough to listen all the way through. 

He hadn’t liked the party. But he liked leaving it. He liked leaving with Xavier. He liked the idea that people had seen them leave together. That people had also, inevitably, seen Matilda and Lark do the same. Benji liked the idea that maybe similar conclusions would be drawn. 

And he feels bad for that. Feels unfair. Feels — feels…guilty. Dirty. Manipulative. 

He swallows the strange lump in his throat and shifts a bit in bed. Their legs are still tangled; he can’t go far. Instead of answering, Benji dodges. He tells the story of one of Saha’s equally legendary birthday parties, just to draw a thread of connection. To keep his mind off the warm body so close to his, touching him. 

To keep his mind off the fact that Xavier’s eyelashes flutter prettily as he holds onto conscious. That he tries so hard to keep listening, even as sleep takes him. 

Benji keeps his mind off all that, largely; at least until Xavier sighs as he goes under. The second his breathing evens out into something sleepily rhythmic, Benji’s brain fills with nothing but thoughts of Xavier content just like this. Falling asleep this way, movie in the background. A dozen times before this, and if he’s lucky, a dozen times after. 

As tired as he is from the long day, he genuinely isn’t sure if he’s dreaming as he tucks hair behind Xavier’s ear, presses knuckles to a sharp, cheekbone. He hopes so. He doesn’t have permission to touch — to bother.

I had fun. Benji thinks, vision blurring as the exhaustion catches up to him now, too. I feel happy. You were around. How could it be anything else?

[a-chaos-god-and-a-warden]

(Merry late Christmas)

Chapter 1: Introduction

What a horrible thing, boredom. Boredom in superjail? Even worse. Superjail never has static days, the Warden would never allow that, but somehow boredom still found it's way into his mind. He already checked with the doctor's new developments, Alice is on a date with that same idiotic animal, and getting entertainment from Jared was a dead end. Just how many pyramids of plastic animals is he going to make today? At this point his office has full of them. Looking out his window,

"Maybe superjail needs a lil-"

A large flash of light followed by a loud bang like thunder and lightning.

"What the hell!?"

Smoke emerges from one of the cell blocks, specifically cell block #35. Something is strange about the smoke, it's slightly blue?

The Warden turns and heads towards the office door, stepping over the ruin remains of his animal pyramids,

"Dammit! I spent all day making those pyramids what a waste! JARED!"

Outside his door, the little man was already there. Jared has holding paper containing, honestly who cares.

"Jared! Don't tell its the Mistress and her stupid ship again!"

"No sir, it's something else entirely! There's already speculation that it could be an alien!"

Curiosity peaked in the Warden's eyes,

"An alien? Well then let's give this alien an earthly welcome! After all we're the first humans they'll meet! Let me do the introductions Jared!"

They hastily make their way towards the crash site,

"But sir! We don't know anything about this being! What if it's hostile?

"Well Jared I guess there's only one way to find out!"

Around them inmates run past them in a panic, and up ahead the one and only woman runs with them. Although not away from what ever is causing panic, but to join the two men,

"Ah Alice! Did you get anything on our 'visitor'?"

"I don't know. The fucking inmates are acting like lil bitches. It got too crowded and I couldn't run that way I had to ride with the current, or whatever."

The warden puts an hand on Alice's shoulder, which Alice shoves off,

"It's okay Alice, I totally understand! You did your best! Which is more then Jared does, now where's Jailbot?"

As if in cue, Jailbot bursts in leaving a Jailbot hole in the wall. The debris flys, smashing running inmates. For some reason never hitting the staff,

"Speak of the devil! Jailbot you wouldn't happen to know what this is?"

Jailbot, despite not actually saying any words, beeps a no,

"Well in that case I guess the only thing left to do is to meet this thing!"

"But sir!-"

"Shut up Jared!"

Off they went towards where all of the commotion start. Getting close to the crash site, they see that the broken walls pieces are growing legs? Some have eyes?

"Sir let's turn back! We can get jailbot to exterminate this thing!"

"And start a universal war? I think not!"

Finally they arrive at the crash site. There's a huge yellow pyramid straight out of Egypt, but there's limbs and a top hat. By the way the limbs and the hat were positioned, one would assume what ever this thing is was lying face down.

The Warden feels disappointed at the fact that this thing is dead. At least the docter would have fun dissecting it. Still, being ambassadors for earth was such a fun daydream,

"Uh, I think it's dead"

"You may be right Alice, such a s-"

Suddenly the thing starts moving. First using it's arms to lift itself up, revealing a bowtie, and a single eye. It also revealed a crack next it's bowtie. The thing was murmuring something about,

"Damn it I can't believe they gave me a crack, fucking cheapskates"

Suddenly the creature shrunk, from pyramid to a bright 2 dimensional triangle. The crack in it's bricks disappeared. The thing readjusted it's hat and bowtie and spawned a cane out of thin air. The Warden was astonished,

"Oh my how distinguished!"

The creature pointed at the Warden,

"Hey you! Eggplant! I'm going to take a wild guess and say you're the man in charge of this place! Where am I?"

The warden was admittedly taken back by the comment. Not the worst thing he's been called but possibly one of the oddest,

"Well, haha, I'm not an eggplant. My name is actually the Warden, and you're in Superjail!"

He makes a little demonstration via a rainbow graphic.

The odd triangle squints his eye, "Superjail huh..." And suddenly, a flurry of images flash on his bricks. Images that were definitely superjail. His eye suddenly widens,

"Superjail! You've got a nice prison going on here Eggplant!"

The rainbow graphic above the Warden’s head withers and dies like that plant you're not watering as his smile dwindled,

"again, not Eggplant"

Bill spins his cane nonchalantly,

"sure thing Eggplant"

"It's not Eggplant"

"Okay Eggplant"

"Not Eggplant!"

"uh-huh"

"well nuh-UH"

The Warden debates in his head whether he should argue or just let it slide. His name, The Warden, means a lot to him. It's quite the title, it's powerful dammit! Why not play at this strange triangle's game?

"Well sir uh, ah, Weirdangle! Yeah that fits. You've destroyed a part of my prison Sir Weirdangle. That's destruction of private property! I should arrest you!"

Sir Weirdangle gives The Warden a blank stare before bursting into laughter, his odd body curling in as he holds his stomach(?) and laughs. Now it could be laughing because of the nickname or the audacity of the threat. Both options made The Warden feel small in a way.

"Sir" Jared whispered, "there's something disturbing about this thing!"

The Warden waves Jared off, "Shh, dont be rude!!"

Sir Weirdangle stops laughing to give The Warden an amused stare,

"Real funny Eggplant! You ought to be a comedian!"

The Warden contrasted this stare with an unamused stare,

"I wasn't joking Sir Weirdangle"

The triangle floated closer to The Warden so that they were on eye level,

"Please, Call me Bill, Bill Cipher!'

Bill held his hand for The Warden to shake. The Warden withdrew his hands with disgust,

"I'm not shaking your hand! What if you have alien cooties?"

Bill gave him a questioning look,

"Alien cooties? What? First off, not physically possibly. Second you humans have more cooties and little organisms crawling on your face than any 'alien' I've ever encountered!"

The Warden look at Bill with a bit of concerned, looked to his hands, and back at Bill

"You're just saying that! That can't be true! I shower everyday mind you!"

Cipher shook his head? Body?

"nuh-uh it's the truth. No amount of showering will ever wash off the mites living in your eyelashes"

"WHAT"

"relax, it's not like they're harmful'

The Warden raised an eyebrow and decided ignorance was bliss and to let it go.

And now,

they reached a dead end,

in conversation.

The almost forgotten staff members looked at each other in a, 'so now what?' until Alice sighed,

"I'm going back to my r-"

"NO!" The Warden had a random burst of energy, quite literally, sparks were flying.

The others looked at him confused.

The Warden had too high expectations from the short time they walked here to give up on this interaction,

"I'm sorry, um, Will Piper. This is on me honestly. I must have been too preoccupied by the feeling of xenophobia to focus what this really is all about!"

Bill raised an eyebrow,

"You got my name wrong but continue."

The Warden waved his arms in the air,

"THE DISCOVERY OF SOMETHING NEW! You're an alien! You fell put of the sky like an- wait did you fall out of the sky? That part was never clear."

Bill shrugged,

"well in a way. I was actually body slammed here from another dimension by this annoying demigo-"

The Warden waved him off

"Doesn't matter. Anyways, you're a completely new thing! And that is exactly what Superjail needed before you arrived!"

As The Warden said this he put his arms in the air emitting glitter everywhere that will never get out of anyone's clothes

Bill waved away the glitter with some of it still sticking to his bowtie,

"That’s great Eggplant, but listen I can't stay here for long. I'm pretty busy! Who knows who'd want to make another deal next?"

The Warden was struggling,

"Well how long DO you have? I could give you a tour! A grand tour of Superjail! I could show you all the places, the corners, the ends, the kinks and the dinks. The whole zinks!"

The triangle's eye swirled in his socket as he thought about it,

"HmmmmmmmmmmMMMMmmmmmmMMMMMM hm hmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMmm hm hm HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm oh why the heck not!"

The Warden spun around at those words,

"Brilliant! Jailbot!"

The bot beeped back in response

"Let's go on tour!" The Warden gestures for Jailbot to come over.

To which it does so it floats over and then turns into a floating carriage with three rows of seats, only two of these rows will be used. The Warden jumps into the first row and excitingly pats the seat behind him while gesturing Bill to come over. Bill then does a funny thing. He fazes through the floor, The Warden stops his motions,

"Bob?"

"It's Bill, Eggplant"

Bill had fazed upwards through Jailbot and onto the second row. Warden jolted,

"Gah!"

"Sweet ride you got here Eggplant."

"Ah- uh well yes! Jailbot here is the sweetest ride there is! Figuratively and literally! Now then, onwards Jailbot!"

And Jailbot did go onwards, straight into a wall, leaving Jared and Alice to think about what to do next.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Over there is where we have our infamous superbar! You should go sometime. Aaand over there is where the cafeteria is! Oh! Oh! That's my office in that tower over there! Ooo that cell block is where the Gays are located. Also-"

"The gays?

They had been floating above Superjail for a while as The Warden pointed out little bits of his jail and Bill was leaned forward to listen.

"Yeah the gays!"

"Is this a cult or something? What is it?"

The Warden shrugged,

"No they're just a gay couple"

Bill raised his eyebrow,

"Okay, but what makes them stand out from other gays? Isn't this an all male prison? What makes them special?"

"They are, they just are."

Bill leans back,

"Well how?"

The Warden was fumbling,

"ack- uhm- they're- I'll just show you"

Warden faces forward,

"Jailbot find the gays"

Jailbot does just that as the thing sinks downwards to where the gays resided. It then wrecked the wall of the lovely home(prison cell) of the gays. Paul was the first to notice...

"WHAT THE HELL?"

Jean was the second,

"OUR WAL- what is that!?"

The Warden gestures towards Bill,

"This is Bill! So Bill these are the gays!"

Bill squints,

"uh-huh, nice. Hey are your walls always this gray?"

The Warden turns to Bill while ignoring the complants of the gays,

"Hm? Well yeah, why?"

"It's dull, change it, like..."

Bill reached out to touch the wall outside the cell and then it exploded in streams of orange, yellow, pink, and red. The Warden's head poked out of the cell as he watched these streams that flowed through the wall,

"Oh I get what you mean! Oh! I have something to add on!"

He pushed the cell's bars to get through and let go of them as they snapped back into place like rubber bands behind him. The Warden walked up to the now colorful wall. He tapped one of the orange streams and led it upwards straight up until it blossomed green. Bill had slid out of the cell easily considering he was a flat shape,

"Wowza! Make more!"

"Right on!"

And he did. The Warden had made four other trees among the streams of warm colors. He backtracked towards Bill,

"What should we add?"

Bill shrugs,

"It's your wall."

The Warden clasps his hands together,

"How about a sky? Blue? No!"

"Of course not! It should be completly random!"

"You're right, you're right. BUT WHAT COLOR!"

"hmm..." Bill squints, "you ever hear of shmerulean?"

Warden turns to Bill,

"No, what is that?"

"It's a color"

"A color I haven't heard of? Show me!"

With a snap of Bill's fingers their colorful painting had a sky, with a very odd color that made The Warden's head feel funny,

"Wow! It's beautiful! We should have more walls of Superjail painted! Specifically whatever this color is!"

The Warden reached for Bill's hand to pull him so they can find more wall to make murals on, however when he went to grab it there seemed to be a blue electric wall. This force field shocked The Warden and sent him flying.

"Yikes," Bill floated over to where The Warden had landed, "totally forgot I had a force field for strangers on, my bad!" he shrugs.

The Warden rubbing the back of his head and being dizzy asked, "Ughh.. why do you have that?"

Again Bill shrugged, "why wouldn't I? You run a prison, you should know how it is! Can't trust anyone's mini limbs attached to limbs!'

"I guess..."

The Warden helps himself up and shakes himself and returns to his old self. He almost makes the same mistake before retracting his hand,

"Lets make more of these paintings!"

"What about that tour?"

"Forget about the tour! This is obviously much more important!"

"I like the way you think funny man!"

The chaotic two went down the cell block painting the walls, the ceiling, the inmates, anything they thought were plain that by their words, 'could use a touch up'.

Amidst the fun Bill felt and heard his bowtie ring. This made The Warden stop and turn. Usually Bill's bowtie rings when someone tries to summon him, Bill looks to see who it is. You can never tell with these prank callers nowadays.

Oh it's the henchmaniacs.

Oh.

Oh right.

Oh no.

"What is that?" The Warden points to the bowtie.

Bill says matter-a-fact-ly, "it's a bowtie, Eggplant"

"Well I know that, what's it doing?"

"Someone's calling me" Bill removes his bowtie.

"You can get calls on your tie? Lucky! I sould have Jared get me on-"

"Shh!"

Bill holds the tie to his ear. Ear? Dumbass, he doesn't have a ear. Anyways, sounds like little murmurs come from the other end. Bill promptly responds,

"Yellow? Hey Kryptos! Yep, listen I'll tell you what happened when I come back. Yep. Bye!"

Bill hangs up and seethes,

"I gotta go... I got a bunch of suckers who thought I died."

The Warden frowned,

"Wha-? You can't stay for even a bit longer? What about the tour?"

Bill shrugs,

"Sorry, can't have the press going to them."

"The press? What press?"

"Space press, listen I had fun Eggplant but I got-"

The Warden suddenly got real close to Bill,

"Waitwaitwait, will you be back? Can you be back? I was, like, suuper bored before you came here and you're leaving already even though you just got here! Pleasssseeee?"

Will he be back? Great question! Bill most definitely wanted to be back. He stared at The Warden blankly as he thought about it,

"Lets make a deal about it."

"Huh?"

Bill held his hand out and a blue flame burst out of it,

"I'll come back if you continue that tour, wanna shake on it?"

The Warden stared the the onfire hand for a few seconds before pointing to it,

"Is that going to burn me?"

"No."

"Am I gonna get shocked again?"

"No."

The Warden hesitantly reached for Bill's hand like it was going to bite him. He reached it and nothing! No burns, no shock. The Warden continued the motion of shaking hands and watched as the fire grew bigger before it began to grow colorful. Bill seemed perplexed by this,

"What the fu-"

Bill bursts into color, rainbows fly out of him. He looks like hes having a seizure. Bill quickly yanks his hand away,

"Youch! Didn't your parents ever teach you how to control that?"

The Warden looked at his hand confused by what just happened,

"Control what?"

Bill threw his hands his hand up in the air,

"Well ya'know! Your magic or powers, or whatever people call it in these parts."

The Warden shook his head,

"When I told my old man about it he caled me a schizophrenic."

Bill raised his eyebrow,

"Huh, interesting. How about I give you some pointers when I come back hm?"

The Warden gasped as his coattails curled,

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah sure, why not?"

"Oh Bill!"

The Warden leaped to hug Bill but he forgot the forcefield and was sent flying to the wall. Bill is not going to do anything about that,

"Yikes. Anyways, remember! Realty is a illusion, the universe is a hologram," a blue portal appears behind him as he slowly floats towards it, "buy gold, BYEEE" and there he goes.

The Warden stared on in astonishment. How inspirational, how interesting, how cool most of all! This Bill guy had to be one of the coolest guys hes ever met! A little weird but who isn't?

The Warden looked around aorund him to stare at the murals they both made and was dissapointed to see- Oh great, Jared.

"Sir how are we going to remove all this graiff-"

"GRAFFITI!?" The Warden stood up, "you call this graffiti!? Why Jared these are murals! Fine pieces of art made by me and my new friend Bill!"

This information shocked Jared,

"Wait so we're keeping these? Don't you think this is too much for a pri-" slow head turn, "You befriended it?"

The Warden smiled widely reminiscing on moments from not long ago,

"I did Jared, I know making friends isn't something you'd know much about so I get the confusion."

Jared shook his head, mentally brushing off the passive aggressive comment,

"No, no sir! You don't think befriending a creature like that would have some consequences? Did you forget what it did to superjail just by arriving sir? I mean-"

The Warden waved him off,

"Psh, Jared. You're too much of a worry-wort. You better not have this attitude when Bill comes back-"

"WHEN IT COMES BACK!?!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now back at the nightmare realm, Bill spawns in a building by his design. A pyramid of course. It has about a billion rooms with even more hallways. It's not like a lot of those rooms are used much anyways. Speaking of used rooms most of the henchmaniacs where in the main room, or to be called the living room. They were on the human skin couches watching the news, except Kryptos who was pacing. He was to first to notice Bill had returned,

"Boss you're back!"

Bill nonchalantly waves, "Hey Kryptos"

Of course Kryptos's exclamation and the spind of Bill's voice caused the rest of the gang to turn around,

"He's back!"

"Wow we thought you died!"

"Where did you go?"

Bill crosses his arms,

"Well now that hurts my feelings!", he says sarcastically of course, "You really think a runt of a demi-god could kill me?"

the gang practically shrinks with their slow 'nooooo's

Teeth speaks up,

"Boss where did you go though, ya'know, after what happened?"

Bill shrugs,

"I landed on some piss-ant asteroid that crumbled on impact and I'll be honest gang I may or may not have let out my anger on a few neighboring planets."

Teeth let's out a, "yeesh"

Bill turns and floats to the entrance to one of many hallways,

"Now if you'll excuse me I need my mandatory seventeen hours of me-time"

He floats away vaguely listening to whatever the henchmaniacs are whispering about him, Bill doesn't really care. He continues down what might as well be a maze of hallways. The walls have brick patterns because what else would they have had. Eventually Bill reaches his room, a black triangle shaped doorway with golden accents. He makes a dramatic entrance into his own room, for future occasions, he thinks to himself. Now with the door closed behind him he is truly alone.

This blankless of solitude brings memories of today's events flowing through Bill's mind. Whatever that place was it was earth, but separated. Wouldn't he be lucky if that demi-god somehow body slammed him past earth's blockade? Bill would be able to start his plans early! It's definitely a pocket dimension, no not a pocket dimension, more like a bubble dimension. Made by that Warden. The Warden... fun guy! Bill just wished his glasses weren't tainted, then he'd be able to see straight through him. See who The Warden really was. Judging how the guy used his powers looks like to Bill that he doesn't exactly know what he is either. Could prove convenient to Bill. He could be a worthy investment. Not only that but he seemed like a fun guy, type of guy Bill would love to party with.

[emlovesredbull]

the main 4 as teenagers

or how i imagine them at least....

stan marsh

-tried to stay away from weed to avoid being like randy (it doesn't work)

-he's not addicted, he just has easy access to weed and likes the feeling it gives him

-massive alcoholic

-he doesn't enjoy going to parties, but there's free alcohol there so he usually takes a stash to the bathroom or a more private area to be alone

-smokes with kenny behind the school when he gets bored with class

-dyed his hair blonde after his dad called stan his mini-me

-has really shaggy bangs, but his hair is weirdly soft (he accidentally used shelley's shampoo one time and now he can't stop)

-mostly c's with a few b's

-always listening to music during class and then proceeds to complain about never knowing what's going on

-the quarterback of the football team and actually very good at it???

-pretty tall, about 6'1

-has a notebook filled with song ideas, but never records/performs the songs he writes

-drives a slightly beat up ford bronco

-wears a lot of baggy clothes, especially sweatshirts

-has a VERY bad depression room (lowkey me too)

-coaches kid's football over the summer for extra cash

kyle

-very smart, 4.0 gpa (he won't rub it in your face though)

-amazing at basketball but underestimates himself and gets very bad anxiety every single tryout season

-slight germophobe

-pretty clean person, likes a tidy room, but whenever he gets busy it gets a little messy sometimes

-tallest of the friendgroup, 6'4, but nobody knows where it came from because both of his parents are super short

-very bad at all of the videogames and always comes last when the boys play

-doesn't smoke, but he drinks occasionally

-not a party boy, he'd much rather stay in, but sometimes kenny and stan drag him to functions

-he stands by the snack table and somehow always ends up helping a really drunk person

-gained better anger management strategies, but it's still fairly easy to make him tick

-drives a white subaru legacy

-sheila makes sure he always looks presentable, so he wears a lot of sweaters and jeans

-he still wears a hat to cover up his curls

-took up guitar a couple years after his guitar hero phase, but it usually sits in the corner untouched

-cancels plans a lot because sheila makes him pick up ike

kenny

-shows up to everything high (asked randy how to grow weed and started a little garden in his backyard)

-mostly c's with a few d's s

-usually leaves in the middle of the school day to go work one of his jobs

-pulls up to random snapchat functions with stan (and kyle)

-is the drummer in a band

-has very shaggy and somewhat long hair

-has a reputation as a playboy

-karen is always painting his nails different colors

-drives a beat-up truck he found in the junkyard (kevin helped him hotwire it)

-secretly really enjoys romcoms

-also enjoys the playboy magazines he sells to the middle school boys

-has been kicked out of target 34 times

-his clothes are kind of old and torn, so he adopted a grunge style so it looked natural

-treats girls surprisingly good because of his experience with his little sister

-speaking of karen, he saves a little bit of every paycheck to buy her something special

-spends the night in his car (with karen ofc) sometimes after his parents fight

-is 5'11

cartman

-worked at kfc but got fired for eating the skin off of people's chicken and then serving it to them

-throws parties sometimes and people only go to them to trash his house

-surprisingly gets straight a's

-varsity bench rider for football, but by the way he brags about it you'd think he's starting (he's a linebacker btw)

-genuinely believes he has abs (he does not, and the girls would like him to put his shirt back on)

-is famous on twitch, youtube and twitter for his gameplay and commentary (he's like a teenage boy trisha paytas)

-has the ice cream tiktok boy hairstyle and thinks it makes him look cool

-is like 5'8

-has a very basic style, and pretty much only wears nike

-runs an anonymous advice tiktok account and gaslights people into believing his bad advice

-drives a red convertible he BEGGED liane for

-doesn't really smoke, but he likes vaping and alcohol

-listens to edm music and everyone else despises it

-pretended to be a serial killer one time because he thought it was funny

-the teachers hate him because he's super loud and disruptive in their classes, but he's super smart effortlessly

-doesn't use deodorant

-or shower multiple times in a week

-his hair is very greasy

-definitely has a discord kitten because none of the girls at school like him

[bradsthorn]

SFW Alphabet - Leonard ‘Wolfman’ Wolfe

Requested: No

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2119

Note: I know his name is technically Henry Ruth, but I refuse to recognize him as anything but Leonard Wolfe.

a - asking ( who’s the first person to confess and how does it happen ? ) 

Leonard accidentally confesses. it’s not that he doesn’t want you to know but it just sort of slipped out. He was watching you while you conversed with Maverick and he heard your laugh and it just happened. And then he immediately was stuttering — a rare occurrence for him— over words to ask you on a date. 

b - butterflies ( how they act when they get nervous ) 

He plays with his fingers. or he’ll twirl his hat around in his hands. He has to have something in his hands to fiddle with. Sometimes he barely speaks above a whisper and his accent is a lot more prominent. 

c- cuddles (What is their favorite cuddling position? Do they like physical touch?)

He enjoys being the big spoon if that’s what gives you comfort. That’s all he cares about at the end of the day. Whatever makes his partner happy is what he likes. Although, after particularly rough days of training or work in general, he wants to be the little spoon. 

He *loves* physical touch, he always has a hand on you if possible. He likes the way that you ground him, and if he’s honest he just really likes to show others you’re his. 

d- domesticity (Are they the type to settle down with you? Are they willing to help with chores? What is your daily routine with them?)

Leo wants nothing more than to settle down, besides being a naval aviator there was nothing he wanted more than to have a family. He loves helping around the house, and although he hates doing dishes and laundry, he’ll do it if it’s your least favorite too, and really he’ll do any of the chores you don’t want to do. It’s just the ranch boy in him, everyone has to do their part to make sure it all runs smoothly – even if there’s no ranch.

he‘s known to wake you up gently before going to work, he just wants to be able to tell you goodbye. So there’s always a forehead kiss and tucking you back in before he leaves. And its almost routine that when he gets home from work the first thing he does is find you so he can hug you and give you a hello kiss and then it’s off to shower for him – he started skipping them at the base most days, simply because he misses you. 

e- encouragement (Do they encourage you to achieve your goals? If so, how do they support you?)

Leo wants nothing more than for you to succeed. He’ll take on all of the household things if they’re interfering with your goals. You’ve supported him through his, no matter what, and he wants to make sure you feel equally able to achieve all that you’ve wanted. 

f- favorite thing(s) about you (What are their favorite personality traits/physical features about you?)

He adores your ability to talk (and listen) to those who approach you. He thinks that speaks volumes about who you are as a person. He adores your smile and he’ll do absolutely anything to make sure he gets to see it every day. 

g- goofiness (Do they like to make you laugh? How often do they joke around with you?)

Leo is a jokester. It’s something he does well, and he’s known to make witty remarks in your ear when possible. He just wants to hear you laugh. Every time he does, his body feels with pride. 

h- honesty (Would they lie to you? How much do they share with you?)

Honesty is the best policy. That’s what his mama used to tell him and still does. He typically does his best to tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth, unless it would upset or worry you. Leo makes sure that he still tells the truth, but if there were things left out? You’re none the wiser. 

i- impression (What was their first impression of you? Was it positive or negative?)

He thought you hung the moon. The first time he saw you he knew he was in trouble, there was no denying the gravitational pull you had on him. He was drawn to you and he knew at that moment at the O Club that his heart was off the market. And that was before he had even spoken to you. Once he spoke to you? The cowboy was long gone, lost in your eyes and the way your face lit up when he responded to you. 

j- jealousy (Are they the type of person to get jealous? If so, how do they react to being jealous?)

He tries his best to not be, but sometimes that green monster creeps up in his stomach if someone gets too close or touches you. But, he looks good in green and he knows it. When it gets too much, he’s wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him – but he doesn’t end whatever conversation you’re having unless the other person has pushed it too far. 

k- kissing (Where do they like to kiss you? How frequently do they like to kiss?)

Leo adores kissing you. Anywhere he’s able to kiss, he is. His favorite places would have to be your cheeks, neck, forehead, nose, wrists, and knuckles. BUT, nothing is as nice as being able to kiss you on the lips. He typically likes to give you soft pecks and keeps doing it until you’re laughing. He really will kiss you all the time if he was able to. But, since he can’t, he keeps it to a minimum in public but once you’re home? It’s every time he’s in the same room as you. 

l- love language (What's their love language?)

Physical Touch and quality time. He loves being able to feel you, it lets him know you’re safe and with him. It’s grounding for him and keeps his nerves down. With his job, he’s away a lot and he feels guilty for being that way. Even if you tell him its all okay and that you don’t mind, he still feels bad. So, anytime he’s stateside he likes to be able to just relax with you. Every time he gets back from a deployment or training, he needs at least a whole day where it’s just you two. 

m- marriage (Do they want to marry you eventually? Who proposes to who?)

He knew it from the second he talked to you for the first time. Call him cheesy but it was really love at first sight. Of course, there’s always the fear that he’ll leave you all alone one day, but he’d rather have been your husband than just your boyfriend. He grew up in a household with two parents who were madly in love and that’s something he aspired to have. 

He proposes, with his mom’s ring. It’s tradition and truly, he couldn’t imagine it any other way. Most likely he gets too excited to actually get to the big plan he had for how he was going to do it, and he ends up proposing at home, with just the two of you after dinner ( which he cooked ), while you’re laying on his chest, and he’s just filled with so much love and admiration for you that it slips out. Much like how he admitted his feelings for you years before. 

n- nicknames (What do they call you? What do you call them?)

He calls you darlin’, sunshine, my love, sunflower, and of course baby, babe, and doll. 

You call him cowboy, flyboy, wolfie, baby, babe, and Leo. 

o- openness (How much do they tell you about themselves? Do they reveal everything at once or gradually throughout the relationship?)

He’s an open book. Leo does not hide a single thing about his childhood and past from you. 

p- PDA (Are they affectionate in public or do they prefer to keep your kisses behind closed doors? Are they the type to brag about their SO?)

PDA is no rarity for you two. He loves people knowing you’re his, he’s so proud that you wanted him. He brags about you to anyone that’ll listen. Leo is incredibly proud of you and he always will be. He just wants everyone else to know how amazing you are and that you’re smart, kind, and perfect. 

q- quality time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

He likes to cook with you, and lay around with you. He enjoys the mornings when he doesn’t have to get up for work early and neither do you; so you’re able to lie in bed and just talk as long as you can. He just loves to listen to you and play with your fingers. He finds peace and safety with you. 

r- romance (Are they the romantic type? If so, how do they express their feelings?)

He’s a hopeless romantic, something he picked up from watching his parents. He’ll tell you how he feels about you all of the time and brings home little things that reminded him of you. He’ll bring your favorite flowers or snacks home at least once a week. He also leaves little love notes throughout your house for you to find. 

s- security (How protective are they of you? If they are, how do they show this?)

He is very protective of you.  Leo knows you can hold your own, but sometimes he steps in. Especially if someone cannot get the hint. There’s typically a hand of his to be found on your waist, back, or in your pocket. 

t- turn-offs (What traits do they find unattractive?)

Being rude to people for no reason. Sure, sometimes it can be warranted, but to be rude to a waitress, waiter, or worker? Leo won’t stand for that. He also hates if someone is rude to his friends to make too many jokes that it gets to the point that the person isn’t joking around but being mean. 

u- understanding (Are they good at sympathizing with your problems? Do they listen to you when you need to rant?)

He does his best to sympathize. If Leo is anything it’s a good listener, he knows whatit’ss like to have people wave you off or not want to listen. He would never want you to feel as if he doesn’t care or isn’t listening. Even if he doesn’t understand what you’re ranting about, he will be the most attentive person. 

v- value (What do they value most about your relationship?)

The no judgment from either of you. He values the fact that your relationship is so open and that you both can say whatever you feel about something and if there is a problem, you’re both willing to talk to solve it. 

w- wild card (A random headcanon about your relationship)

He loves when you steal any of his clothes. It makes him happy to see you lounging around in his shirts, sweatshirts, whatever. His absolute favorite is one of his Longhorn hoodies or a navy sweatshirt. Sometimes he even lays out shirts for you in case you want/need one. He keeps a polaroid of the two of you on his person at all times, one in his wallet and one inflight suit. 

x- x-ray (How well are they able to read you?)

He can read you as easily as a picture book. If there is something Leonard Wolfe has down pat? It’s you. And he prides himself on knowing every tell no matter how small it may be. 

y- yearning (How well do they cope when their SO isn't with them?)

Leo is a clingy guy, truth be told. But, he’s also used to being away. He does have to combat some of the dread of being away and not being able to hold you on tough days. So, as usual, he keeps polaroids of you with him at all times, and his bunk has pictures of you scattered around. He even found a place that made custom dog tags and had some made with your name on them to keep in his bunk. He stole a blanket from home that he had sprayed the fragrance you used the most on it to sleep with. 

z- zappy (Are they fast-paced in a relationship? Or do they like to take things slow?)

He tried to go slow, he really did. But Leo just loves(d) you so much that he couldn’t wait. He felt the need to give you his last name, or hyphenate his own almost immediately and really no one blamed him. How could they? He is in the military.

tag list: @hxntingbirds

[kiwikarpart]

Rating Every Strawberry Shortcake Design*

I haven't made this clear on my Tumblr before, but I love Strawberry Shortcake. Something about the tv shows and official artwork always puts me in a good mood. So, because I feel like it, I'm going to talk about the designs she's had over the years and give them the tier list rankings.

Before I do that, I have to lay down a few ground rules.

1. I'm not doing every single design. Even if I limited it to one generation, there'd be so many different versions of Strawberry in dresses and swimsuits and winter clothes to rate that I'd never get it done.

2. What I will include are the base designs from official artwork and the tv-show versions if they have notable differences.

3. I'm judging these by the design alone. The artsyle won't factor into my ratings at all.

4. My opinion doesn't invalidate yours. I'm going to point out a lot of issues with some of these designs, but if you like them anyway that's fine. I'm not here to change anyone's mind, I just want to share my opinions.

5. This is how my tier list ratings work:

S tier is rarely objective. It's usually for designs I really like regardless of quality.

A tier is for great designs with little to no flaws, it's one I try to be really objective on.

B Tier is for good designs that for whatever reason, don't impress me like the ones in A or S tier do.

C Tier is for okay designs. They might be boring or get something wrong, but at the very least, they function.

D Tier is for bad designs. I don't hate them, but I don't think they get much right either.

F Tier is for designs that are straight up terrible or ones that I hate. I tend to have strong feelings about anything in this tier.

With all the boring stuff out of the way, I can begin the rating! Starting off with...

1970's Keller design

This is Strawberry's most iconic design, and it's not just because she was the first one. This version of Strawberry went for a bit of a rag doll look and is clearly a baker. That's one of my favorite things about it since none of her future incarnations make that a part of her design. It's a little disapointing since bakery-esque outfits can be really cute, but if it could only happen once, I'm glad they got it right.

The patterns are a little too much for me, with the stripped stockings and the polka dots and the green diamonds and the row of x's on her apron. The use of color more than makes up for that though. I love that they were able to use green and white as accents without drowning out red as her main color. I kinda wish her hat was closer to red than it was pink, but it works fine as is. My final compliment is that the ragdoll elements(yarn-like hair and fingerless hands) make the design better instead of worse. Ragdolls can look a little creepy in my opinion, but the parts of that look this design borrows makes Strawberry look more childish in a good way. Pretty great design, A tier.

1990's THQ Design

So this one is...weeeird. As far as I know, This era of Strawberry shortcake didn't have a specific theme, it was just cute girls doing cute things. If that was all it needed to do, I'd put it B tier because it does that pretty well. It has a cute color pallete, cute clothes, from that perspective it does what it's supposed to do. But since it's supposed to be a design for Strawberry Shortcake, it unfortunately falls flat because of how disconnected it feels. In her last design, she was clearly meant to look like a baker and the giant hat covered in strawberries added to that. But in this one, the fruit theme is very downplayed and the dessert theme is gone in favor of...balet? Sometimes?(It varies depending on the artwork tbh) The only other notable difference is that her eyes are blue instead of brown, which doesn't change anything in my book. It's a good design, but a bad fit for Strawberry Shortcake as a brand. C Tier.

2003 Bandai Design

This version of Strawberry shortcake differs from the original again, this time towards a casual look for kids. The flat mary janes, baggy jeans, and sun hat do a great job pushing that look, and I personally love how she wears the jacket, that's such a kid thing to do!

Aside from the blue in her jeans, Strawberry's color pallete here is pretty close to her 70's design. I think it's a nice way to keep the design familiar without rehashing it, though it does come with some improvements and downgrades. I like that they toned down the patterns, but don't like that red still isn't the prominent color in her design. Baking isn't a big part of Strawberry's character in this generation, so I'm not sure why they didn't add more red(granted, the version used in the TV show does by changing the stripes, but this doesn't do anything for the key art version being judged).

I think this design is solid. It's simple but effective, although I do wish we got to see her wear the jacket. B tier.

2005 Playmates Design

I'm not 100% percent sure if this is her main design from this era or a varient, so take this with a grain of salt.

Either way...this design is AWFUL. This is the 1st time the franchise made Strawberry's main color pink, and I can't stand it. But even if I could, the colors are so saturated it makes the whole fit an eyesore! It's honestly really hard for me to critique this one, but for the sake of you guys I will ignore the excessive use of hot pink to judge the rest of this design.

I also don't like the stripe patterns on Strawberry's shirt. The red stripes only emphazize the bright chunks of yellow and pink, while also blending in with her belt too much. Not surprised if you didn't notice that until now. That's the last of what I dislike...but there isn't anything I like either. I'm pretty neutral on her denim skirt, the sleeve ruffles, and the different hat. This is the only design with, in my opinion, no positive traits. F tier.

2005 Playmates Design, TV Show Version

Feel like I forgot something...oh yeah. This is the same Strawberry Shortcake from 2003, but aged up to make her seem more mature(and to sell more toys but this post isn't about that). Aside from being simpler, this design differs from the last one with different shoes, pants, and a zipped up jacket(that isn't the one from her 2003 design, real shame). Also she's wearing her old hat. It's definitely better than the last design, and it feels like a natural progression from her 2003 design, but it doesn't leave a strong impression.

For one, I don't like pink being her main color and this design does nothing to change that. It changed her hair back to red, but her outfit is still too sparse of it to me. Why did they never try making pink her accent color instead? Still not a fan of the sleeve ruffles either. The idea's cute, but since the rest of her outfit leans toward a casual look, they look out of place. Also the pant lines being under the pant pockets...is a choice. Overall it's fine, C Tier.

2007 Playmates Design

From what I know, this design barely counts since was made for a Strawberry Shortcake video game...but I just love it so much! This design leans into a gardening theme with the boots and denim jeans, but still has a focus on the titular fruit with the color pallette and strawberry patterns. While the actual outfit is pretty cute, it's the color pallette and placement that wins me over. It would've been easier and way worse if they covered her in the bright cherry red. But instead they break it up with softer reds(her hair and hat) or with blue for a nice contrast, while keeping the cherry-red on each part of her design(strawberry clip on top, blouse on middle, and boots on bottom).

I do have a few issues, the polka-dot pattern is a little garish and I wish they put some blue on the top of her design, but those are far from dealbreaking. This is my favorite Strawberry Shortcake design, S Tier.

2009 Hasbro Design

I'm going to be blunt: I do not like most of the designs from this era. They tend to have the same exact issues, so if I make this a series get ready to hear that criticism a LOT. If it's any consolation though, I'd say Strawberry's design is an exception. I like the pastel pink on her clothes and the use of green as an accent color. Making the hat look like a strawberry was a clever way to add the fruit motif into her outfit, and the shirt pattern and is a nice homage to her original design.

I do have some gripes with it though. The biggest one being the lack of red. Why on earth did they ditch the red??? It's even worse here because another character from this era is clearly supposed to have pink as her main color, but they made her share with Strawberry instead of keeping the red from her older designs.

Another small problem is the style of her clothes. They succeed at pushing Strawberry towards a more casual look, but they don't tell us much about her as a character. This generation put a larger emphasis on the characters having their own businesses, but I couldn't tell you what Strawberry's is with her design. One last gripe is the polka dot pattern on her skirt being different from the one on her hat bothers me, but it's not a big deal.

Overall this design is good. It has a nice casual vibe that's complimented with great use of color and color placement. The issues I have with it are small, but they do stop it from being great. B tier, would've been an easy A if her shoes and hair were red.

2019 Wild Brain Design

This design never became canon, but it's practically a rough draft for one that is. BIG emphasis on rough. I didn't hate this Strawberry when she was revealed, but I can definitely see why the rest of the internet did.

The real problem with this design in my opinion is the lack of direction. From what we know about this scrapped generation, it was going to take place in a forest and have the characters use magic to some degree...but NONE of that is present in her design. No fairy wings, no magic pendent or anything remotely fantastical. So that's why it's not an S tier design. But what it does go for doesn't work either. The tutu dress and stockings are a decent pair, but they clash with her shoes and beanie hat. Is she trying to dress for summer or winter? I'm also not impressed with her hair or color pallet despite the extra red, it's too generic to comment on.

Overall this design feels like a 1st draft, and that isn't because of the artstyle. Every part is of her look is either generic or clashes with other elements. There are some good ideas in this Strawberries' design, but as an ensemble they all fall flat. D tier. Don't hate it, but definitely don't like it either.

2021 Wild Brain Design #2

Looks like they did make a 2nd draft for that design after all! Yeah that's why I ranked the scrapped design, so many parts of it are present in this one.

Let's get the negatives out of the way, too much pink, no baker themes, yada yada yada.

As for the positives, most of them are unfortunately pretty light. Not enough to land it in D tier though, because this one is actually cohesive. The setting for this version of Strawberry Shortcake is in the city: no nature, no magic, just slice-of-life. So the lack of magical elements isn't a problem. I also like, say it with me, the color placement. The reds and greens are nice accents and the blue jacket pops against the shades of pink and red in her hair. The only thing that really holds this back is that the outfit's too generic to warrent anything higher than a C. So I'm going to put it in C tier.

And that's all of them(as of now anyway)! While I was working on this I had a huge hyperfixation on Strawberry Shortcake, but by now it's definitely gone away. I can't promise when I'll make another design ranking for this series, but there are still some characters I want to talk about.

[ninhaoma-ya]

Chapter 1079 — The Red-Haired Pirates - An Emperor’s Crew

All rights, so the formation of Neo-MADS wrapped up the Germa cover story arc. Wonder when we'll see those guys again – and on which side of the upcoming war.

Anyways.

I read the chapter.

And then took a break.

Went for a walk. Pondered life. Cursed Odacchi's name to the heavens and thanked the universe for bringing us such a masterful storyteller.

Nothing for it but to go through it.

First off, an update on Egghead: Confirmation on York's plan and what happened before this. She ordered S-Snake to unfreeze her later and adds another mystery; which area can't be damaged? However, it is clear York isn't the brightest bulb: the 'hostages' refer to the P-agents, I assume, and we've seen how much the Government cares for those guys in the past. Not a very good hostage.

Chaos on Egghead, people trying to get away. Will they manage, or will the navy blast them to kingdom come?

However, on the outside…

…THINGS ARE NOT LOOKING GOOD.

a) The Hearts didn't manage to take down Blackbeard's ship

b) That looks very much like a certain fluffy cap and cursed sword…

c) Not to get ahead of things, but when looking at the end of the chapter… o_O

Welp. Before we get there, we have several pages more to go through.

Shank's minions are adorably weak. At least Luffy has some power in his fleet.

It's not very healthy to build an organisation on the shoulders of one person, though… you really should take a look at that, Red-Haired allies.

Shanks, also known as "Fair". Awfully nice of him to check if his opponent is up for it before attacking.

Nice little bit of characterisation going on here:

Obviously Shanks' crew is almost as well-informed as Big Mom's, with the ready-prepped information package casually tossed his way. It's also interesting that Oda hides his eyes when he mentions the rampaging (which was one of the first things we learned about Kid when he was introduced into the story: he doesn't care about casualties). I know it is completely my interpretation, but it seems like Shanks is not happy about the unnecessary casualties caused.

However, Kid is also interesting here. Based on his history, he probably would have attacked the weaker fleet members as well. But we don't know to what extent. Would he have used the Damned Punk cannon then? Here Killer provides some info for him: there's a lot of bounties (i.e. dangerous people in the Government's eyes) on those ships. Why then be careful with your attack when you can take out several threats at once, especially when the weaker ones now are out of harm's way?

As hinted at, Shanks is one of the most powerful haki users in the world, here confirmed by quite a long future sight. Luffy's and Katakuri's observation allowed them a few seconds into the future, while this looks to be a bit longer than that.

And he does not hold back!

After years of "When will Shanks make his move?" he does, and it is glorious.

Aaaw, they care so much about each other.

Kid's crew is a nice foil to Luffy's, in that they care about him (as we saw already on Wano) and he would do anything for them (as we saw in Udon) and they seem like a nice little collection of oddballs. And yet, they are the Straw Hats without the compassion and empathy for others. They care only about each other, not about the consequences of their actions for others.

Before we get to the finish, remember how Shanks asked Dorry and Brogy to help? If we look back to chapter 128 and Little Garden, just for a size comparison with the Merry:

They are huge.

(And that is one pretty panel. Love the contrast of their mantles with the sea and sky.)

Yes, you will.

And keeping at Little Garden:

What a thought. Will the Sky Island snakes make a comeback at some point?

And… what a terrifyingly familiar pose.

That is a blast and a half.

I don't think Kid is dead, however. As someone else said, the phrasing mirrors what happened with the Straw Hats at Sabaody pre-timeskip:

They met their match and some, but will probably survive. Maybe learn some humility, maybe learn some restraint when it comes to rampaging.

That might be the end for Kid's pirate journey, though, with his Lode Poneglyphs gone (so they had at least Big Mom's and Kaido's, I assume) and ship gone.

But, going back to the start of the chapter: it doesn't look too good for the Hearts either…

I wonder where the fourth Lode Poneglyph is. Kaido had one, Big Mom had one, one is on Zou, and one… we don't know, do we?

Great chapter, although the break next week will break my spirit. I give it the edge of my seat and my now broken stress ball.

[artistfingers]

There’s one ~silver lining~ of my iPad being broken: I’ve had loads of time to think about my many half-formed undercover phantom au ideas! Since I have no idea when or what will make it to comic form, here’s the lowdown…. AKA, everything that’s been rattling around my brain recently :P

For context: Danny, Sam and Tucker have never met, and nobody knows Danny is Phantom. When Vlad’s newest bit of tech gets Danny stuck in ghost mode (with the rest of his powers on the fritz to boot), he meets Tucker and Sam—who instantly see through his disguise and lend a helping hand. (Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4!!)

So. After that, Danny—no, Phantom—becomes friends with them. It’s exciting! He was invisible at school even before the ghost powers; he was pretty isolated and lonely and being Phantom for the last year hasn’t exactly been a social boon. Kid’s lonely, ok?

But now… two human friends? Who’re his age & share his interests? It’s like a dream come true! If only they weren’t exclusively friends with his ghost self… and if only they didn’t wanna be so involved in his dangerous ghost hunting things…Uhhh. Hm. Could be a problem.

Danny angsts about the danger he’s putting his new friends in, and about not being able to befriend them as a human. He plays with the idea of telling them Everything but that’s… risky to say the least. He’s only known them a few weeks! ugh….!! it’s too much. maybe he should just throw the towel in.

Buuut Sam & Tucker don’t take no for an answer. Especially after they rescue him a third time.

Thus… Phantom friendship shenanigans!!

Sam filched some parts from the Fentonworks Lab when Phantom took them there, and later convinced Tucker to help her build a custom mini ectogun in case of emergency. They didn’t tell Phantom.

Danny is really sentimental about that DP hat he wore when he first met Sam & Tucker. He wore it as Phantom for a while but it got singed in a fight. He still wears it when he hangs out with Tucker & Sam but otherwise keeps it squirreled away for Sentimental Reasons.

“So Phantom, how old are you?” “I’m 15.” “15 now? Or 15 when you died?” “Yes.”

Tucker has a bunch of awful 90s button up shirts, and gives one to Phantom

They aren’t able to convince Sam to wear one too, but they sure do try.

Phantom won’t tell them when he died, so once he starts wearing 90s shirts they start using terrible 90s slang with him

“I am NOT from the 90s!!! They didn’t even SAY that then!!!” “methinks the lady doth protest too much…..home slice” “NOOO!!!”

“Phantom I have an extremely important question. Like, life or death. SHIT is on the LINE here. Are you listening?? I really need to know…. Do ghosts play video games”

The answer may surprise you (no it won’t)

Sam is completely convinced they can ACTUALLY get a good working guess of when Phantom lived and died based on the fact he liked Nasty Burger when he was alive, since NB’s a regional chain with a not-so-distant past. Tucker meanwhile thinks Phantom probably has a good reason for keeping them at arm’s length—but regardless of method, they can agree: they want to break down Phantom’s walls.

The next arc is less “Undercover Phantom” and more “Undercover Fenton” because the juxtaposition of him having to do hidden identities squared (squared again) is too good for me to pass up. It boils down to this: during a ghost attack at school, Danny finds himself stuck being “protected” by Sam and Tucker.

Sam and Tucker take their new jobs as Phantom’s ghost hunting companions too seriously to let this skinny stranger they just met run TOWARDS the danger. WHY does he keep trying to run TOWARDS the danger

NO YOU CANNOT GO TO THE BATHROOM THE SCHOOL IS ON G H O S T L O C K D O W N

Sam pulls out her ectogun.

Danny: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!

Sam does not tell him.

“Wait, your last name’s Fenton? Like Fentonworks Fenton?” “No, the other Fenton.” “Oh… well, that’s too bad…” “YES LIKE FENTONWORKS FENTON”

Sam is initially wary of Danny because of his parents’ super strong anti-ecto views. Danny is clueless as to why she isn’t very friendly to him-as-a-human when she’s great with him-as-a-ghost. but she warms up after he helps resolve the ghost issue in a way that shows he doesn’t subscribe to his parents’ views.

afterwards you get this excellent situation where Danny is now friends with Sam and Tucker as Phantom and as Fenton, and they’re not connecting the dots as quickly as they did when it was just “that’s Phantom wearing a hoodie and a cap with his own logo on it”.

the potential here? *chefs kiss* here’s a few things but honestly? the possibilities are limitless

Danny pretending to not have a cell phone because he already gave them his number as Phantom

Tucker: *dials Phantom*

Danny, standing directly next to him: *frantically attempting to silence his phone*

Sam & Tucker try to introduce Danny and Phantom. Danny has to make excuses to avoid this happening in both forms.

Danny takes Sam & Tucker down to the Fentonworks Lab to get them some real equipment. Sam & Tucker pretend (very badly) that they’ve never been there before

Rooftop chill sessions as Phantom, late night teenage hijinks as Fenton, plus school AND fighting ghosts does not do any favors for Danny’s sleep deprivation. Tucker introduces him to caffeine pills with… mixed results.

Tucker and Sam teach Phantom some sign language. Later Danny slips up and uses it casually with them as Fenton

…. And many other silly mixups that I’ve yet to think of because I live for that shit

Sam & Tucker have theories about the Fenton-Phantom connection and they’re all wrong but somehow also plausible and that freaks Danny out just a little bit if he ever overhears them

Ultimately, I see this AU having a final arc where a New Situation occurs in which Danny-as-Phantom has to—once again—pretend to be human. This time, he’s with Sam & Tucker as Phantom from the get go, and can’t disappear or transform, even if being Phantom is extremely dangerous at that moment. Somehow this scenario would lead to the Fenton-is-Phantom (or, in this case, Phantom-is-Fenton) reveal…. But the details still escape me :P

so in short………… I really like hidden identities

[writingstuffandmore]

My angels...

Pairing: Baekhyun x fem reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

AU!: Mafia

Warning(s): Swears, curses, mention of death (indirect way)

A/N:I am so sorry for the delay :') as I had some exams. I hope you will like it. Please give me your feedbacks and suggestions. GIF isn't mine and belongs to the respectful owners.

"IF YOU JUST WANTED TO HAVE A FUCK TOY!!! YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THAT I ACTUALLY BELIEVED IN YOU AND FELL FOR Y-"

*door slam*

"Ms Y/N, please eat something. Dearest have something, at least for the little l-"

"Does even matter now Mrs Park? H-he c-clearly spoke his mind. I l-literally loathe myself at the moment. What did I even expect from him and look at my condition now is that I-I stupidly waiting for him before I-leaving." The sad voice said while sniffling before a bitter laugh escaped from her mouth.

The elderly woman was referred by as Mrs Park came and sat down beside the young lady who was drowned in her own tears. "Dear, look at me. I know this isn't the best thing to say this but did you asked him why? I know it sounds tormenting but did anywhere or somehow through your course of relationship did you hear say that he doesn't want children?"

The lady just shook her head as a no and a confusion laced look replaced the once teary eyed face. "I am sorry aunty but I didn't understand. I mean he never said no but he d-

"Maybe because he is knows something that we aren't aware off. My family has served this family for a long time that now at times when serious conversations or concerns are being discussed our opinions are taken as well. So, my assumption won't be wrong as per se but can give an idea of what kind of issues he is going through at the moment. Come here love and eat something, okay?"

Mrs Park made sure the young girl was fed well before leaving back to her chambers.

*01:45 am*

The clock at present displayed the time, making a heavy sigh escape and anxiousness to keep growing.

"Where is he? Why isn't he here by now? What if h—? Oh, no, no.. I can't think like this" You thought as you kept walking back and forth in the room for nth time.

No one knows how and when this conversation took an escalation into a heated argument that even the walls were praying for some relief. The argument kept on replaying in your mind as if it was played on loop.

Earlier ..

Y/N: "Baek, there is some thing you need to know?"

Baekhyun: "What is it angel? Are you okay? Did someone trouble you?"

Y/N "No, it's not like that. Its just about us—

Baekhyun: "Do you wanna break up with me?"

"Ofcourse not idiot. Its just that I— I am pregnant with your child"

Baekhyun: “Oh, please you can’t be serious Y/N? Not these stupid gam-

Y/N “This isn’t a game Baekhyun. I am p-pregnant and I just found from the doctor wh-

Baekhyun: “You are lying..”

Y/N “What?”

Baekhyun: “I said that YOU ARE LYING!!! IF YOU FEEL THAT THIS IS SOME JOKE THEN PLEASE B-BUT I-IF T-TH-THIS IS TRUE T-

Y/N “TRUE THEN WHAT BAEKHYUN?”

Baekhyun: “I AM SORRY BUT YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN ME AND THAT”

Y/N : “Excuse me but the so called ‘THAT’ is a human Baekhyun and you are asking me to choose? What kind of sick game is this huh?”

Baekhyun: “I am not pulling any jokes or prank! Do I like a person to do so when it comes to my safety?”

Y/N: “Your safety uh? And what about mine. Am I not carrying a life inside who could be exposed to any problem if I missed a slightest of precaution and prevention which in turn will also impact me and my health.”

Baekhyun: “I am sorry I-

Y/N: “Oh just shut up. You are really a cold hearted monster.You all are the same. I trusted you with all of my heart and this is how you repay me ? Even after knowing hat I had gone through, you still ditched and dumped me? I expected a lot better from you but they say its your family who attacks and betrays than your enemies”  

At this moment tears were streaming down your face while he avoided all sorts of eye contact with you but you could feel his anger from the way he was clenching his fists and his pursed lips.   

“YOU SHOWED WHAT YOUR PRIORITIES ARE. YOU NEEDED A PERSON FOR YOU TO RELEASE YOUR FRUSTRATION AND YOU FOUND ONE.  IF YOU JUST WANTED TO HAVE A FUCK TOY!!! YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THAT I ACTUALLY BELIEVED IN YOU AND FELL FOR Y-

Before you could say anything further, Baekhyun went out of the house slamming the door.

Present time..

The time flew fast as if it needed to catch a plane and now it displayed ‘2:15 am’. You now started to panic and thought of calling his dad when a knock was heard. You grabbed the fine ceramic vase before looking through the peephole only to see a limping Baekhyun leaned against Kai’s shoulder.

“G-guys? What happened? Baekhyun? OMG... Kai??” a fresh set were about drop from your eye swells. “We had a mission and the rivals kinda out did us but we are fine!” Kai gave his small smile before placing his boss on the couch. “Dr Kim has given him some medicines and make sure he doesn’t gets up from the bed at least for two days. Thats a bare minimum.”

With that he took his leave. You called some maids and made the necessary arrangements required. It was around 6 in morning when he woke up with a groan. He tried to open his eyes but the terrible headache didn’t made him to do so, making him restless and you waking up from your deep slumber.

“Oh, don’t get up. Kai told me everything, you need to rest. Here take these medicines.” You made him sit for a while so as to he can take his meds. As you were about to leave, he stopped you.

“You didn’t give go?” he whispered in a hoarse voice. ‘Why would I” You countered back.

“Because, I don’t want this child and that I am a cold hearted monster who uses people to release his frustrations and stuff. So, yeah why?” He looked into your puffy eyes

“Because I know that you have a terrible habit of hiding things from us, no matter what. I know Baekhyun that you are hiding a certain things from me which is now affecting our relationship. I am not asking you to be vulnerable enough to get triggered out but you can’t run behind it.” You gently patted his shoulders before he made you sit on his lap.

“I lost them Y/N and thats one of the few reasons why I don’t tell anyone anything because I can’t trust everyone on that level as that the end you don’t know if that person will live enough to support you or will stand enough for a long time.” Baekhyun started crying as he let his heart be vulnerable and open all the wounds which were never filled making you cry as well.

“Baby, I am so sorry for the terrible ordeal you had to go through but I swear to everything present that I won’t ever leave you and so this little jelly bean u-

“I am so sorry for all that has happened but I was scared that I will loose you both a-and t-that s-scared me to death. Please don’t leave me. Pl-

“I love you so much love and we are here for you” You kissed his forehead before pulling him in a small intimate kiss.”I love you too my angels”

[i-killed-a-prostutute]

Miya twins nsfw alphabet~

———————————————————————————

Atsumu:

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He's not the worst but he could definitely be better. It takes a little asking to get him to get you things.

B: Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes your pussy. *I'm sorry 😖* He likes how it feels, how it reacts to him, and he thinks it cute. He does love other parts of you and that is not the only reason he's dating you but it's his favorite. He likes his dick and face.

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He will fill you up with it. He thinks it's so hot when you are covered and filled with his cum.

D: Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to share you with his brother but since he already told you no 3 ways with other guys he doesn't want to seem like a hypocrite or you end up liking his brother more then him.

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Alot. He likes to think he's a sex god lmao. Pretty cocky so if you say he didn't do a good job, good luck if he gets his hands on you again.

F: Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Does face sitting count? Please just sit on this man's face. He likes to 69 too so please.

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's not above cracking a few dumb jokes but can snap to serious in and instant...its kinda scary sometimes.

H: Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Clean shaven, he just thinks it makes his cock prettier.

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's pretty romantic but can flip back and forth in the drop of a hat.

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Nah, he has you. Will do it if you're not in the mood but will grumble to himself.

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Please let him fuck or finger you in public. He likes the idea of someone catching you, so fucking hot. Basically the type of guy to invite friends over and fuck you in the kitchen while they sit in the livingroom.

L: Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere any time bb 😜.

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He likes when he playfully slaps your butt and if you moan, holy shit it's so hot. Likes when you wear his jersey but his highschool one. 'Keep your sticky fingers off' his current jersey -direct quote

N: NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Refuses to have a 3 way with another guy, has to be another girl or no deal. Don't distract him while he's at practice or planning things for games he gets mad. Had to learn that the hard way 👉🏻👈🏻

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. This man will tongue fuck you for hours. Also please suck his dick any kind of dick sucking he likes but he loves to face fuck you most of all.

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He's good at both and can keep it slow and romantic or fast and rough whatever you want bb 😘.

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He's a big fan of quickies. One of his favorite encounters with you is when he just got home after a week or so and a long ass flight and you ended up doing it right there in the entryway.

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He's willing to try most things at least once, but he knows his limits.

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Hours on end, you get tired before him. They literally say his stamina is 5/5 so good luck 🥵.

T: Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He owns a few himself and he's totally down to use them on you and himself. He likes when you pick out new ones together.

U: Unfair (how much they like to tease)

So, so unfair he is a dick when it comes to teasing it's almost none stop. He likes to edge you and cum all over you.

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not too loud, not too quiet just like goldilocks once said 'it's just right'. Tells you how good you're making him feel and isn't afraid to moan your name.

W: Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He's made out with a guy on a dare. Was so drunk he and his team all thought it was funny but he regretted it the next morning.

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those

pants, picture or words)

He's average girth and length just like Osuma. Only difference is he curves left.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It's on the higher end. He likes sex and he likes having sex with you. Quickies, all night, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner lol.

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He likes to tire you out sometimes so he can focus on work. So if he has something important to do he's going to fuck you until you pass out, sometimes this does backfire and you both just pass out lol.

Osuma:

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Osuma is much better at after care. He may not express it but he's worried he pushed you too far or maybe even hurt you. He always makes sure you're alright and gets you anything you need/want.

B: Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He's allowed to pick one? He didn't know people had preferences. Uh….face?

On himself he loves his hands because he played volleyball with them and now gets to use them to make food all the time 😊.

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn't really like it. He doesn't like the taste, smell, or texture of yours and his. He just doesn't like it. His loads are big tho so be ready to be stuffed.

D: Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to fuck you in the restaurant, he doesnt like public sex but he wants to do it while its closed and if you like public sex you can pretend there are people lol.

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Eh 🤷🏻‍♀️. Hes dabbled with girls kissing, touching, sex but he's actually only gone all the way with 2 girls so you may have to help him along.

F: Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He likes when there's a pillow under your hips so he can kneel and not lay on top of you. He thinks he's heavy.

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's pretty damn serious so if you're feeling a little awkward or nervous he won't do much to ease it. He does constantly ask if you're ok tho so that's...a plus?

H: Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Clean cut but not shaven, he tried to shave once and cut himself so he refuses to do it now. Its black of course but the happy trail is literally perfect 🤤.

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He thinks he's being romantic but you can see he's kinda nervous and holding back, once he knows you're comfortable he's pretty rough. He likes to nip and bite but he doesn't like breaking the skin. Will leave bruises.

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Some times but since you guys are dating he's more satisfied with sex so he'll only do it if it's been a while since you've done it.

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He likes biting and dabbles in bondage but nothing to intense hand cuffs, a tie, one of your scarfs, stuff like that.

L: Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Mainly in the apartment he's cool with anywhere. The only place outside of that is in the closed restaurant.

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He likes when you cook for him, and he likes the 'uh no all I could find was this apron *wink wink*'. He also likes when you come sit between his legs to get your hair braided/done.

N: NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He likes biting but doesn't want to actually hurt you so he does not break skin. He also doesn't like being the one tied up, he doesn't like feeling out of control. Also doesn't like oral but it's a bounder that has to be talked threw ⬇️.

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Nah he doesn't like giving or receiving, if you beg sure he'll give or receive but that's your birthday/Christmas present. Sorry :/

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He's another boy whose nervous in the beginning but holy fuck it's like you decided to roll around in the sack with an angry wolf. If he hurts you he'll stop instantly and apologize.

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Yeah he has pinned you against the walls after you were teasing him in the restaurant. You were lucky he didn't just pin you face down on the counter, but there were still customers.

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks counter.)

He's willing to try a few things but he likes what you guys normally do. He's pretty good at switching it up so it never gets boring and every now and then he'll throw in something new to catch you off guard.

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Three to four rounds, he loves to turn you into a mewling mess so if you need another round to melt he can probably tough it out but will be extremely tired.

T: Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Toys...nah. He does own one of those triangle sex pillow things. He can bend you over it, use it to prop up your hips, he can lean on it while you bounce on his dick, he loves it.

U: Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn't really do it unless it's a session where you're tied up. 'Your so helpless I could do whatever I want~'. 'Come on I can't hear you, tell me what you want Y/N'.

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He groans and moans, it's a little quieter than you want it but it's cute. Lick up his neck and he'll let out a little whimper.

W: Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He's died some of his pubes before. He wanted to fuck with someone and make them think he actually had natural grey/silver hair. *Like the scene in fruits basket lol*

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Mid sized the exact same size as Atsumu, but Osuma's curves right.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His is an actually average sex drive. He can take breaks and be fine and he can match yours pretty easily unless it's really low.

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Osuma could stay up for hours after the deed is done so if you go for a round or two in the morning he'll be fine until you go to sleep that night, might be kinda cranky but he'll survive.

[chattahoochiecoochie]

Charles’ NSFW Alphabet

You put something in my inbox, chances are I’ll do it eventually. As promised, the Charles Alphabet. MINORS DNI. 

A - Aftercare (what they're like after sex) He’s young still, and rather bubbly personality-wise. The time spent cleaning you both up is usually fully of quiet whispers and uncontrollable laughter.

B - Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners) In classic boyish fashion, he’s an ass man, through and through. In shorts, in jeans, in that fancy dress you wore to the Ferrari gala, or of course, in nothing—he’ll take it.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum basically) On you. On You. On you. Doesn’t matter where you are or if timing is of any importance. Once you swallowed, and he didn’t mind it, but nothing compares to seeing you covered in it.

D - Dirty Secret The two of you made a silly little movie once, it wasn’t even of the real deal, just the foreplay, both of you too nervous in front of the camera to get it on. He’s got it on his phone, in a locked folder, and when you’re not around, he likes to watch it.

E - Experience (Do they know what they're doing?) Having traveled the world a few times already, he’s tried a thing or two. A few times he’s pulled a trick out of the hat to change things up, it’s always worked well in his favor.

F - Favorite Position Doggy, all day, every day. He’s got preferences there though. Depending on his mood, your face is shoved down into the mattress, back arched low. Other days its a bit more lazy, with you propped up on your elbows, the pace a bit slower.

G - Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous) You’ve had fun sex before, drunk out of your minds and stumbling over each other. Usually though he’s fairly serious, your fun boyfriend only coming back around when its over.

H - Hair (How well groomed are they?) Tidy. It’s neatly groomed and cut short. How he keeps it so, with such an insane schedule, you haven’t figured out yet.

I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment?) On lazy days, or even drunk ones, he’s soft with you, singing his praises and kissing you all over. On not so lazy days he’s quiet, and when he does speak it’s filthy.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation) When you miss race weeks or spend prolonged amounts of time apart, he does it. You’re so often together though that it isn’t necessary.

K - Kink (One or more of their kinks) He likes spanking you, really spanking you. He’s left welts behind before, sharp red handprints on your ass. On more than one occasion, covering you in cum was enough to make him hard again, a problem soon rectified by round two.

L - Location (Favorite places to have sex) At home, its his bed and the couch. When traveling, he likes the hotel shower.

M - Motivation (What turns them on/gets them going?) Praise, any time you acknowledge your pride in his work his heart starts to flutter. Wearing his clothes is another sure fire way to get it going, particularly his sweats.

N - NO (What's something they wouldn't do, turns off’s?) He doesn’t like choking you. He’s done it before because you asked, but seeing you like that upset him, and the next time he refused.

O - Oral (Preference in giving/receiving) He loves to receive, its one of his favorite parts of life. Seeing you on your knees in front of him is as close to heaven as he can get.

P - Pace (Are they fast/slow, rough/sensual?) As with most things, it depends on the day. Most often he’s rough, tossing you around, the pace overwhelming.

Q - Quickie (Their opinions on a quickie rather than proper sex?) Being inside you is the only thing that matters, if that comes with a time constraint, he’s fine to abide by it.

R - Risk (Are they down to experiment, how risky do they wanna be?) He’ll try anything at least once. The offer of anal had him seeing stars.

S - Stamina (How long can they go for?) He’s an athlete, one in his prime. Three is as many rounds as you’ve gone, but you reckon he could’ve roused himself for a fourth.

T - Toy (Do they own toys, down for bringing them into the relationship?) He’s never bought one, he doesn’t see the need. He has however used a belt on you.

U - Unfair (Is it always give and take or is it sometimes just take?) Always a fifty fifty, he’s not satisfied if you haven’t finished. He’ll hold out for as long as it takes.

V - Volume (How loud are they/do they like you to be?) He’s verbal, and sometimes you can hear him groaning, but for the most part he’s fairly quiet. He wants to hear you though, no matter where you are.

W - Wearing (What do they like you to wear, if anything?) He’s brought home lingerie from trips abroad. Sometimes he likes you in a thong, the emphasis it makes on your ass gets him going.

X - X-Ray (Whats going on in those pants?) Just above average. A solid six and a half. Straying from the European norm, he’s been cut.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) High, sometimes it’s hard to keep up with him.

Z - Zzzz... (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?) He’s a bit of an insomniac so usually he just stays with you, rubbing your back and playing on his phone until his eyes are finally too heavy to keep open.

[cyborg-franky]

Omg I LOVE nsfw alphabets 🤩 I’m so happy that you are doing more of those!!

I checked the list and it seems impossible no one has asked one for our favourite fireboy Ace yet but if that’s the case then I’m gonna say that I’d like one very much 😂

like 4 of you asked for Ace so like how can I say no? and aww you flatter me.

Enjoy!

N/SFW UNDERCUT

A = Aftercare His aftercare isn’t the best but that’s not because he doesn’t care, he just tends to pass the fuck out after.

B = Body part Hips, doesn’t matter who his partner is he loves their hips, holding them, touching them he also loves cum gutters.

C = Cum He likes giving people surprise facials, he finds it a mix of sexy and amusing.

D = Dirty Secret He would be 100% up for watching his partner have sex with someone else, he doesn’t tell anyone though because he’s also worried he might get jealous.

E = Experience He has some, not loads but more then a handful perhaps. He’s had a lot of fumbles with people he considers friends, maybe one or two one night stands on his travels. It’s the more intimate aspect of sex he has very little experience in.

F = Favourite Position Doggy style, he likes taking control form that position, pulling hair, grabbing hips, leaving bruises there, being able to bite and mark their shoulders, watching how his partner moves their body against his.

G = Goofy Oh very, being goofy Is how he breaks the ice, he likes to be silly and make jokes, makes sex so much softer and involved more feelings.

H = Hair Clean just a mess, so much hair and it’s all fluffy and curly

I = Intimacy It took him a long time to be intimate with his partners on an emotional scale, he worried he’d get hurt, needed to know he was loved and he could trust his partner. Once he finds someone he can be an open book for, he will be at any chance he gets.

J = Jack Off A man in his 20s? you better believe he’ll jerk off, to sleep, in the morning, bored? Yeah.

K = Kink He likes having his partner dress up for him, nice clothes, sexy outfit, costume even just his shirt and hat. Something about his partner wanting to impress him and be cute/pretty/sexy for him just does it for the man.

L = Location It would be anywhere and anywhere the mood took him until he was scolded by pretty much everyone. Thatch had enough of ass prints in his freshly baked bread and Marco still can’t look at the crows nest without wincing.

M = Motivation Because it’s nice and it feels good and he wants you.

N = NO Degradation, he’s all about praises.

O = Oral Prefers to get then to give, his skills in that department could be better but it’s not like he’ll deny his partner, he just knows where his real skills are.

P = Pace He will go fast and hard, like a jack rabbit unless he’s reeled in and given some pointers on how his partner likes it.

Q = Quickie Yes, yes, yes. He likes them as much as full session, he feels cheeky when him and his partner sneak away from duties to have a fast fumble.

R = Risk He’s on the brazen side and doesn’t get off on risks he just doesn’t care who walks in on him. When it comes to trying new things he tends to be into trying anything once.

S = Stamina Has a lot of stamina to a point, he can go for ages but the second he’s cum at least once he’s normally out for the count.

T = Toy No real experience here but he’s also happy to try them out.

U = Unfair He gets bored of teasing someone when he could be making them feel really good instead. He also can’t handle being teased for every long. He’ll grab your hips and pull you against his erection if you’ve wound him up for too long.

V = Volume He’s a medium amount of loud, he’s vocal about what he’s feeling and appreciated when his partner is.

W = Wild Card Loves to fall asleep on top of his partners, even if he’s a little too heavy and needs to be rolled off of them. Just wants to hear his partners heart beats, feel the bare skin of their chests.

X = X-Ray He’s good and average and there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

Y = Yearning When he has a crush or in a relationship he’s very ‘I just wanna touch them and look at them so bad’ and wants nothing more than to spend intimate moments, be it sexual or not.

Z = ZZZ Oh baby, you’ll be lucky if he manages to pull out before he’s down for a nap

[shangsclaws]

A h/c where Raiden, Erron, and Fujin caught their s/o dressing similarly as them--?? Imagining the s/o just trying their best to copy their attire is just adorableasdfghjkl

Ohh! I don’t think I’ve written reqs for Raiden or Erron before! This is a nice change of scenery lmao 😭

Raiden

Raiden does not pay any mind to what he wears. With the duties he must tend to, there was never the need.

Seeing you trying to dress as him is enlightening, to say the least — does he really look like that?

It has everything to do with how awkward you look in his hat. You couldn’t find one your size, so you resorted to using one of his instead. Now seeing as he’s 7 ft tall, this hat fit like the universe on your head. Your poor neck.

Otherwise, Raiden will think that you look — ‘oh, what’s the word’, he’ll ask you — cute! The thunder god has only ever regarded his garments as kombat appropriate, so he’ll also be quite impressed that the attire looks well as casual wear on you.

He’ll be sure to find a hat your size next time. A well suited one would obviously look better on you, but it’s more because he doesn’t want your neck to get snapped in two lol

Erron Black

His ego is already huge. You really did not have to make it any bigger.

Also, he’ll be amusedly confused. Is this to flatter him or to flatter you? Because goodness, he’ll think, we both look good, don’t we?

He won’t care much for the little details you’d miss about him from the neck down, he thinks you look rather dashing in any way, but the mask and the hat he is quite peculiar about.

He’ll be so compelled as to start buying you face shields and hats specially tailored to your size. He’ll start purchasing entire outfits when he’s feeling generous. Money’s good with whoever he decides to work for, and it’s even better spent on spoiling his lover into looking mighty fine.

As such, you should expect to hear him fondly calling you his ‘pretty little doll’ — he is quite literally playing dress up with you.

Fujin

While he could have simply chose to exist as wind itself, Fujin made the rather generous decision to live in the form of a mortal (I want to say human but Edenians also look human...except they aren’t human). As such, his attire makes it look as if he put more thought into his appearance than his brother.

He probably did. But — and with great amusement — he won’t realize this contrast until he sees you all prim and proper. He won’t know that it’s him you’re dressing as either, all until you tell him.

He thinks you look fantastic. He figures he might as well pat himself on the back; that means he looks fantastic too! Good job, Fujin!

It’s here where he realizes just how much he cares for his appearance. He’ll show you how he likes to braid his hair, how tightly he likes his belt wrapped on his waist, even how he might go about polishing his armour. He doesn’t have an ego, but you might have just given him one.

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Aim For The Heart | Chapter 3: Plan B

Pairing: hitman!jk x female reader

Genre: E2L, romance, drama, angst

WC: 5.1k

Warnings for this chapter: language (jk will continue to have a potty mouth), a gun, attempted murder

Tag list; @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @teresaisla @ggukkieland @mwitsmejk @scuzmunkie @sugaslittlekookies @jaebeomsblackgf @moon-asia

summary; Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn’t sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn’t his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger. 

Previous → Next

"Excuse m-me, sir."

Jungkook turns and his heart stops in his chest when he sees the wide eyes of a horribly familiar girl staring up at him.

You're clutching a piece of paper in your hands as a smile spreads on your face when you look at him closer. Jungkook blinks a few times, the rest of him frozen in horror at being caught.

"Th-This is for you." You hold out the paper.

Jungkook takes it limply, his eyes never leaving yours.

When the initial shock leaves his body, he tears his eyes away from you and looks down at what you gave him. He squints in confusion at what he sees. Then he looks back up at his target.

What the hell is this?

"Uh-"

"I hope it isn't c-creepy. I j-just thought it might make you s-smile." You brighten when he looks back down at the picture.

Jungkook swallows thickly.

On the piece of notebook paper, is a terribly drawn picture. But that isn't what's gotten his attention. On it, is an image of what he can only guess to be himself, sitting on a bench.

He looks back up at you, "Um, I don't understand..." His voice gives out on him as he fights the urge to bolt. Everything about this situation is telling him to run. You know him. You've known he was following you.

But you aren't outright telling him that you know...

What the hell does he do now?

You smile shyly, a small blush creeping up your cheeks. "I know it m-must seem weird. But p-please let m-me explain."

He nods uncertainly, forcing his feet to stay planted where he is.

"Ok," You wring your hands together and he watches in confusion as you blink a few times. "O-Ok, I like to d-draw. And sometimes when I d-don't have anything else to draw, I draw p-people. Then I give them the p-picture as a present to make them h-happy!" You bounce a little on the balls of your feet.

"But-..." Jungkook scratches his neck. "When did you do this?" He's starting to think maybe he's out of the line of fire. Perhaps he jumped to conclusions and you don't suspect him of following you at all.

You put a finger to your chin as you think about that. Then you tap your cheek, blinking hard a few times. "Mmm, I think it was Wednesday? Maybe Thursday..." You start mumbling to yourself.

Jungkook raises a brow, watching you curiously.

He looks around, no one seems to be paying attention to the two of you. Good, he can't be seen as one of the last people to be with you.

You suddenly speak up again, drawing his attention back to you.

"W-Well, anyway. I decided to m-make it and give it to you b-because you looked sad. Are y-you lonely?" You look up at him with big eyes and he blinks, looking away for a second to regain his composure.

Damn, she's nosy.

Jungkook clears his throat and looks back at you, "I'm not lonely. And as much as I appreciate the thought, I don't need this." Then he shoves the picture into your chest, making you flinch and grab it.

"Have a good day." He says curtly, then he turns and walks as quickly as he can away from the situation.

After a minute of walking, Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief to be out of that. He messed up. Now he really needs to get this done quickly before the target figures anything out for real this time.

The relief is short-lived though. A second later, he flinches when he hears a voice calling out to him and the sound of feet running.

"Wait! Mister, p-please wait!"

Jungkook pulls his hat down further and picks up his pace, trying to find a crowd he can lose you in.

He's squeezing in-between people and pushing past others, ignoring their sounds of annoyance. Then a hand grabs the sleeve of his jacket and he internally groans.

Shit, she's fast.

Jungkook shakes you off of him and turns to glare at you.

 "What?" He snaps.

You blink and cock your head to the side for a second before straightening it out, a crooked smile forming on your face.

"I w-wasn't able to introduce m-myself." You state simply.

Jungkook audibly sighs, "Look, I'm busy."

"Oh." Your face falls and he resists the urge to roll his eyes.

You look at the ground for a second, then you look back at him, your eyes bright again and the smile back on your face. "P-Please, take the picture. I have n-no room in my bag f-for it."

Jungkook sighs again and snatches the picture out of your hands, "Fine. Happy?" He waves it in the air before folding it and sticking it in his jacket pocket.

You nod happily, "My n-name is ____."

 I know.

"Alright." He looks away, trying to give you the hint that he's done with the conversation.

"What's y-your name?"

Gosh, she never shuts up, does she?

"Jungkook."

...

...

...Fuck.

Why in the literal hell would he say his real name just now?

He wasn't thinking. He just wanted you to shut up. 

You see the look of pure panic on his face and laugh to make him feel better, "Nice t-to meet you, J-Jungkook." He must have trouble talking with people, you think. 

"Ok, well yeah, it was nice to meet you. Thank you for the picture. Goodbye." He turns and all but runs off, finally disappearing into a crowd.

You watch him go into the big crowd and you smile, he was so kind. Giggling and looking down at your fingers, you turn and start making your way home. _______________

Jungkook hauls ass all the way back to his place, constantly making sudden turns and glancing around to make sure you're not hot on his heels.

When he finally makes it up the stairs and into his apartment, he locks the door and yanks his shoes off, hurling them at the front door and flinching when they slam against it loudly.

There aren't enough curse words in his vocabulary for him to scream into his pillow that would satisfy him right now. He starts to shake, the adrenaline pumping through his veins as his brain goes into overdrive trying to figure out what to do now.

He's never been caught.

Not once. 

He's never even been close to getting caught. 

In and out, one and done.

That's how it's always been for him.

Jungkook takes his hat off and tosses it onto the tiny dining table, then he walks over to his bed and flops onto it, face down.

"I quit." He mumbles into the comforter forlornly.

Then he lays there for a minute, contemplating everything.

"I can't quit..." He mutters to himself a second later.

It's impossible.

He can't quit.

He just needs to get it over with tonight.

No more hesitating, no more distractions, no more overthinking. It doesn't matter that she saw his face and knows his name. She'll be dead by morning anyway, and it's not like her friend is here for her to tell anything about him to.

Once he's calmed himself down enough to think clearly, Jungkook gets up and moves to his closet to pull out the safe. He puts in the code and it swings open when he gives it a little tug. He takes out the gun that he failed to use the other night, then he unloads it, pouring the little bullets onto his bed. Jungkook counts them before reloading them, then he dumps them out again, counting them before once again reloading them.

He does this whenever he needs to think, it helps him concentrate. When he's unloaded and reloaded it four times, he's finally able to take a deep breath. He sits on the edge of his bed, his head hanging for a minute before he lifts it and stares at the wall. _______________

When you get home, you kick your shoes off and head straight to the kitchen to grab a snack. You grab a little drinkable yogurt and grin as you open it up and take a sip. 

Then you move to sit on your couch, still gently sipping your yogurt. When you're almost halfway done with your snack, you pull out your phone and text Mina. 

You 4:32- Mina, I met someone today ^-^

Then you toss your phone next to you and grab your TV remote, turning it on you quickly find the drama you're currently binging and you hit play. 

After a few minutes, you hear your phone bling. You pause the show and grab it to see Mina has answered you. 

Mina 4:40- YOU WHAT? WHO

You laugh quietly and you're typing a reply when a picture of you and Mina making silly faces pops up on the screen and the ringtone you made special for her starts ringing. You answer it quickly, laughing when she shouts through the phone immediately. 

"WAS IT A BOY??" She shrieks, almost breaking your eardrums.

"Y-Yeah." You can feel the blush creeping up your neck at her next words.

"Is he cute? Is he single?"

"M-Mina!" You cry in embarrassment, "It isn't l-like that." 

You hear a disappointed sigh leave her lips, "Well, what is it like then?" She asks in curiosity. 

"I gave him a p-picture that I drew. He t-took it, Mina! He didn't say I was c-creepy like the other girl did." You're grinning from ear to ear. 

She laughs quietly as she realizes what this is about. "Ohh, so you drew a picture of him and gifted it to him?"

"Yup!"

"That's so sweet of you, ____. And he actually took it?" 

You nod, then remember she can't see you. 

"Y-Yes, he took it. He said th-thank you, and he told m-me his name!"

Mina laughs again at your excitement, "What's his name?"

"Jungkook."

"Ohhh," There's a teasing hint to her tone, "Sounds like a name fit for a cute guy. So, was he cute?" 

You bite your lip then whisper, "Uh, yes. He was c-cute." 

"Awww! ____ has her first cruuuush!" Mina shrieks again and you shake your head. 

"No, Mina. I d-don't have a crush on h-him! I just thought he was n-nice. He seemed like he would m-make a good friend." You pull at the hem of your skirt, your knees tucked up to your chin. 

You hear her giggle on the other side, then her tone turns serious. "Ok, you're right ____. No man is good enough to date my sweet best friend. Don't you dare pursue him until I get there and give my approval!"

You roll your eyes, "I'm not going to p-pursue him at all, silly."

You two chat for a couple of minutes, then you let her go because you both need to figure something out for dinner soon. 

You decide to finish the episode of the drama, but you can't resist and watch a few more after it. By the time you're able to peel your eyes away from the TV, the sun is starting to go down. You rub your eyes in confusion, I didn't realize how many episodes I watched. 

You stretch your arms above your head and yawn, "Ah, I should g-get some d-dinner," You stand up to go to your kitchen and scrounge around. You come up with a few pieces of celery, half a jar of kimchi, and one hard-boiled egg. 

You scrunch your nose at the emptiness of the fridge. You'll just have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. But until then, you decide to just go out and get something to eat for dinner and maybe find something for your lunch tomorrow. 

You pull your tennis shoes on and grab your bucket hat, plopping it onto your head. It doesn't go with the rest of your pastel outfit, but you don't really care. If it's comfy, then it's a win for you. 

Then you take your bag and sling it over your shoulder. Remembering to lock the door, you leave and head down the stairs. _______________

Jungkook thanks the man at the food stand as he takes the fishcake skewer and hands his money to the man. Then he bows and turns to make his way through the crowds of people that always come out at night in Seoul. 

He finds a bench in a park a little ways from the hustle and bustle of the city, so he sits there and takes a deep breath of the crisp evening air. Jungkook takes a bite of his fishcake, chewing it thoughtfully as he goes over the new plan of action in his head. 

A few people pass by while he sits there, one of them is a small girl with her mother. She reminds Jungkook of that little girl, Mi-Rah, from the other day. His throat constricts when he remembers the child's words to him. Then he scoffs and takes another bite of fishcake, chewing it aggressively. If that annoying kid hadn't distracted him, he wouldn't be sitting out here right now trying to come up with a new plan...stupid. 

Jungkook finishes his food, then he stretches his long limbs out, grunting from exhaustion. This hit is really taking a mental toll on him for literally no reason at all. He can't wait to be done with it. 

He rubs his hands together and stands up, stretching a bit more before heading in the direction of the target's home. 

He's going to finish this. 

Tonight. 

When Jungkook is a few blocks from her apartment, he slows down and glances around before slipping into the dark alleyway from the other night. Once he's in the dark, he slips the gun from his pocket and checks the bullets. It's an obsessive thing at this point, but it makes him feel more secure. 

He slides the last bullet back in, then-

"Jungkook?"

The gun clatters to the ground with a loud sound as Jungkook whips around to see the one person he doesn't want to see at this moment. 

Gosh fucking damn it all to hell. 

You're standing there, looking up at him from under your bucket hat. Jungkook scans you quickly, noticing you're still in your light yellow skirt and pink blouse from earlier. You have some bags in your hands as you smile at him. 

You don't seem to have taken notice of the fact that he literally just dropped the gun he was going to shoot you with. So, Jungkook quickly kicks it to the side, relieved when it slides behind a bag of trash. 

"Uhm, hi...____, right?" It takes all his willpower not to fumble over his words after being caught for the second time on the same day.

You nod happily at the fact that he remembered your name, "Yes! F-Funny to run into y-you again!"

Jungkook chuckles dryly, "Yeah, what a coincidence."  

You gesture to him with one of the bags in your hands, "D-Do you live n-near here?" 

Jungkook's nose twitches, but he keeps a straight face. "No, I just...I was out for a walk." 

"Ohh! Night walks are th-the best." 

"Mhm.." Jungkook looks around, trying to figure out what he should do. Maybe he should just do it now...yeah, that's the best idea. 

"So, what did you buy?" Jungkook asks suddenly, gesturing towards your bags. You take the bait instantly and brighten, bending down to place your bags on the ground so you can show him. 

The second you aren't looking, Jungkook crouches and grabs the gun from behind the trash bag he kicked it towards.

"Well, now. L-Let me see." You're crouched on your heels, looking through the bags. Jungkook cocks the gun and raises it, his finger on the trigger. 

"I've g-got an apple, that was from the k-kind old woman at the fruit s-stand-"

He's about to pull it when another voice rings out in the alley. 

"Miss ___! Is that you?"

Jungkook quickly brings the gun down, switching it to safety and stuffing it into the front of his pants. Clearly, he isn't thinking straight right now. 

You look up at that moment and glance behind Jungkook before a smile of recognition lights up your face. "Ohh! Mr. Ch-Chang! What are y-you doing out this l-late at night?"

Jungkook bites his lip in pure frustration and turns to see an older man smiling at the pair of you. "I was taking my trash out, and I thought I'd heard your voice coming from over here."

You grab your bags and scoot past Jungkook to greet the older man properly, "It's s-so nice to see you. It's b-been a l-long time!" 

Mr. Chang smiles and nods, "It has indeed. And who is this handsome young fellow?"

He looks around you at Jungkook, who screams internally, not knowing anything that could make this situation worse. 

"That's m-my new friend, Jungkook."

Oh, ok. So, that makes it worse. Good. 

Not only was his plan foiled, but this old man now has a visual and a name to put to someone should anything happen to you. 

Great, just great. 

"Ah, it's very nice to meet you, Jungkook." Mr. Chang holds out a shaky hand and Jungkook takes it and gives it a shake. "Oh, this one's got a good shake." The old man winks at you and you laugh. 

Jungkook forces a smile onto his face. 

He's always been good at charming people, that's what makes him so good at his job. 

"It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Chang." He says politely. 

"Well, very good. Very good. What do you say we all get out of this creepy old alley? Let's get into the light." Mr. Chang leads you and Jungkook out until the street lamps pour golden artificial light onto the three of you. Jungkook wants to flinch away, it feels like the light is exposing all the dirty little secrets he's got hidden away. 

But he remains stoic. 

You and the man exchange a few words before Mr. Chang clears his throat, "Alright dear, I really am an old man, I must be heading to bed. Jungkook," Jungkook looks up from where he was staring at the ground, "Hm?"

"Be a good lad and walk my young friend home?" He looks at Jungkook with such kind and trusting eyes that Jungkook finds himself looking away. 

"Of course." He mumbles. 

This man doesn't suspect a thing. He has no idea that the guy he's asking to protect his friend is the one that was about to kill her for a hefty price, and would have if he hadn't been interrupted. 

"Thank you. You two stay safe and I'll see you again, ___." 

"Goodnight, M-Mr. Chang!" You wave to him as he slowly makes his way around the corner. Then you turn to Jungkook and smile. 

Jungkook briefly wonders if your cheeks ever get sore from smiling all the time. 

"I l-live this way." You raise an arm to the right, the bag hanging from it dangles. Jungkook nods, then he starts to walk. You need to jog to catch up to him, his long legs take huge strides as he hurries down the street. 

The walk is silent, you sensing that Jungkook isn't really in the mood to talk. But it takes a lot of willpower for you not to start asking him different questions to get to know him more. 

When you've finally reached the stairs that lead up to your apartment, you huff in a breath. 

"Hoo, I'm so t-tired." You laugh. 

Jungkook looks at you, his face unchanging. 

You hold up a bag, "Would y-you mind carrying th-this up for me? I'm sorry, it's gotten so h-heavy during the walk. And I n-never walk that f-fast."

Jungkook takes the bag with a sigh, then he turns and hurries up the stairs, leaving you to huff and puff up them slowly behind him.  

When you reach your door, Jungkook sets the bag down on the ground and turns to leave, "Have a good night." He mumbles. 

"W-Wait!"

He turns back to you, biting back another sigh. 

"Th-Thank you...for today." You say softly, a hint of a smile on your lips. 

"No problem." He says quickly before hurrying down the stairs and disappearing around a corner. 

You unlock your door and bring in the bags, lugging them to the kitchen to start unpacking them. As you put the stuff you bought where it belongs in the kitchen, you think back on your day. 

It's so crazy that when you were so lonely without Mina, you were able to talk to someone new! A spark of hope comes alive in your chest that maybe you've just made a new friend. Hopefully, you'll see him again and you can learn more about him. 

You're so curious to know more about this dark and lonely stranger. _______________

Jungkook opens the door to his apartment, walking in slowly. 

He shuts the door and locks it, then he pulls off his shoes and drops them by the front door. After that, he walks over to his bed, pulls his pants and shirt off, then climbs into bed. 

Wrapped up in his covers, Jungkook stares straight ahead into the darkness. 

"How the hell am I going to do this?" He whispers numbly. 

His head is spinning with new plans and everything that's happened today, but he can't grasp a single one of those thoughts as they race by. 

Hours pass by as Jungkook tries desperately to get his head clear enough for him to focus. Eventually, he passes out from pure exhaustion, falling into a fitful sleep.

 The next morning, the sun slips through the blinds. The birds are just starting to sing their morning songs, their pretty little voices waking up the rest of the world. 

Jungkook shoots straight up in bed, "That's it!" He shouts, then he claps his hand over his mouth, remembering how thin the walls are in this apartment complex. 

A smirk spreads across his face as he takes his hand down, "Ah, thank goodness." Jungkook almost laughs out loud in relief at finding another solution.

He jumps out of bed and runs to the shower. It ends up being the shortest shower he's ever taken, he doesn't have any time to waste.

When he gets out, Jungkook grabs a bottle of chocolate milk and a banana before hurrying to get dressed and out the door. _______________

Jungkook arrives at the school before you, so he gets a paper and sits on the bench, as usual, waiting for you to appear. 

It only takes ten minutes of waiting until he spots you across the street. Jungkook smiles to himself and waits patiently. Sure enough, you glance across the street and see him looking at you. 

You feel a warm spark in your chest when you see your new friend sitting on the bench across the street from the school. You wave happily, delighted when he smiles and waves back. Then, he stands up and jogs across the street until he's standing right in front of you. 

"Good morning, ____." 

"Hi, J-Jungkook!" The smile on his face makes your cheeks warm as you look down at your feet. 

Then you look back at him, "H-Hey, would you l-like to hang out t-today?" You ask suddenly, but hopefully, afraid he might turn you down instantly. 

Instead, Jungkook's smile grows and he nods, "Sure. I'll meet you out here when you're off work." 

"O-Ok." You grin at him, not expecting him to agree so fast. Then you look at the time, "I have t-to go. I'll see you l-later." 

He waves as you turn and hurry into the school. 

Jungkook can't stop the smirk from coming as he watches you disappear into the doors of the school. If you insist on talking to him and making him your friend, then he'll just have to go along with it. _______________

"Alright, m-my little ducklings! Time t-to pack up!" You clap your hands to get their attention. They all listen immediately, moving to get their bags put together and ready for home. 

A few minutes later, the school bell rings, signaling the end of the day. 

The kids squeal with happiness and you feel your own rush of excitement, remembering that you have a new friend to spend the rest of your day with. The kids get into line quickly and you give them each a punch in their reward cards as they file out the door. 

The second you step out of the school, leading the line of little ducklings behind you, you glance across the street, but you don't see Jungkook sitting there. 

You try not to think too much about it and focus on getting the kids into the correct lines for the busses. 

You wave to Joon Woo as he climbs into his father's car. He and his dad wave to you and smile before driving away. 

Then you look across the street again, but there still isn't any sign of Jungkook. 

You bite your lip before turning and walking into the school.

Gathering your things, you think about all the things you and Jungkook might be able to do to pass the time. You're so consumed in your thoughts that you don't notice the knock on your door. The second time the person knocks, louder this time, you hear it. 

"C-Come in!" You call out, sorting the last bits of the worksheets that the kids did today. The door opens and Mr. Baek from class A walks in. 

You look up and smile at him, "Good afternoon, Mr. B-Baek. How can I h-help you?"

He glares down his long nose at you, "Did you give any thought to what I said last week?"

"Um..."

What did he say last week...?

Oh...

"Oh, uhm. Mr. Baek, I still d-don't understand."

"What do you not understand about it?" He snaps. 

You flinch, then set down the stack of papers and stand up while grabbing your bag. "I th-thought maybe you'd had a b-bad day-"

Mr. Baek scoffs loudly, cutting you off. 

"You aren't that dense, sweetheart."

The way he says that makes your stomach turn, "Ok, I'm s-sorry that you're upset. I h-have s-somewhere to be. If y-you'll excuse me." 

You move around him and hurry out of the room before he can say anything else. You really aren't sure what's gotten into him, but you're going to avoid him until he's over it. 

When you walk down the steps to the school, you look around, but Jungkook isn't anywhere to be seen. You try not to let it get to you, this has happened before. 

The only person who has ever followed through on plans with you is Mina. 

You blink a few times, then you start making your way home. 

"Going home so soon?" 

You turn to see Jungkook standing behind you.

A smile spreads on your face at the sight of him. "I thought y-you'd left." You say slowly. 

He shakes his head and steps closer to you, " I always keep my promises."

You feel your chest lift at his words, finally someone that isn't going to leave you hanging. Then you readjust the bag on your shoulder, "W-What would you like t-to do?"

Jungkook frowns when he notices something off about you. He knows it's none of his business and he doesn't really care, but he's curious. 

"Did something happen?" He asks, taking you by surprise, "You look kind of upset."

At that, you smile bigger, "N-Nothing happened! I'm f-fine." 

"Ok." Jungkook doesn't buy it, but he doesn't push you any further. He doesn't care enough to. 

"So, w-what did you w-want to do?" You ask again, relieved he doesn't continue to ask you what's wrong. 

"You pick." Jungkook gives you a small smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. 

You decide to ignore that and clap your hands together, "W-Well, I'm hungry! How about we g-get some food?" 

Jungkook nods, "Food sounds great, do you know any good places?"

You laugh and try to send him a wink, though it's the worst wink he's ever seen. "Oh boy, I know e-exactly what we c-can eat."

Jungkook gestures forward, "Lead the way."

The two of you talk about the weather as you stroll through the city, making your way to one of your favorite food carts. You don't have much to talk about besides that. You're trying to come up with some questions to ask him once you've got your food. 

Once you arrive at the steamed bun cart, you break into a little run. Jungkook watches you skip over and jump in place once you're in line. 

She acts like a kid. 

He shakes his head but hurries over to you anyway. 

You tell him all your favorite kinds and he suggests you get them because they sound good to him too. When you take your card out to pay, Jungkook beats you to it. He hands the man some cash before you can even blink. 

"Oh, y-you don't have to do th-that."

"I know." He says simply, thanking the man once he hands him the bag of buns and his change.

You two walk to the park that he had followed you to the other day and find a spot on the green grass. You plop down and pat the spot next to you, indicating that he should sit as well. Jungkook sits down and hands you the bag. 

"Th-Thank you for b-buying it." You whisper shyly. 

Jungkook shrugs, "No problem. Which one should we try first?"

"Um, the pork ones a-are really g-good." You say, taking out the two pork buns. You hand one to him and he immediately takes a big bite, making you chuckle a little. 

"Mm, you're right. It's delicious." Jungkook says around a mouthful of food. 

You nod, glad that he likes it. Then you start to eat yours, thinking about which question you should ask him first. 

"So, how long have you been a teacher?" Jungkook asks you suddenly. 

You swallow the bite you were chewing, "I j-just started at the b-beginning of the school year in A-August. I graduated from c-college last year." 

Jungkook nods knowingly, "That's good. So, you must be around twenty-two?"

You nod, "I am t-twenty-two, yes. How o-old are you?"

"I turned twenty-three in September," Jungkook says before taking another bite. 

"Oh, n-nice. And what d-do you do f-for work?" You ask politely. 

Jungkook swallows the bite that feels like it's stuck in his throat at your question. "I work for a small business. I just take care of client's needs and stuff." 

You smile, "That's a g-good job."

He nods, finishing off his last bite. 

"It pays the bills."

Why is he suddenly uncomfortable? There's something about you that makes him nervous, but he can't tell what it is. 

No, this is on his terms. This is all part of the plan, he just needs to play along. He needs you to trust him.

Jungkook glances over at you as you stuff more food into your mouth.

This is gonna be easier than I thought. 

______________________________

a/n: thank you so much for all the support so far! I hope y’all liked this one

[parvulous-writings]

Kung Lao NSFW alphabet

Request:    do u think u could write a nsfw alphabet on kung lao ! i loved ur sfw one <3  

Requested by: anon​​

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, reader discretion advised.

Notes: My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!

Not my gif

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s a tad more caring that usual, trusting in his abilities a little bit too much sometimes. He’ll help you clean up and settle down, making quite a few jokes as he does so. 

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hands- he loves both yours and his hands. The way they clasp together when you’re in the throes of ecstasy, or how they drag the other closer. They way they can tangle into hair, too. He loves it. 

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)  

He’s fairly normal with it. In you or on you, intimate yet normal

D: Dirty Secret

To be honest, it’s you as a whole, everything you do together that’s seen as improper. He’s not meant to be with you, but he can’t help it, you’re just so... Addicting. 

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s a little experienced. He knows roughly what he’s doing. 

F: Favorite Position

The Lotus- it allows a special kind of closeness and intimacy that he can’t find anywhere else. 

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Usually he’s pretty humorous, almost always mumbling something whilst smiling against your skin 

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Fairly well. He’s not an over the top groomer, but he at least keeps everything neat and clean, more out of habit than anything. 

I: Intimate (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He does love the romantic side of things, he won’t deny that in any sense of the term. He’s very intimate, considering his more jokey side. 

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does it fairly frequently, even with your relationship. Sometimes Raiden will separate the two of you, and it’s almost the only thing from keeping him going insane when he thinks of you.

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)  

Bondage. He’s actually quite talented at Shibari. 

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Lao is not particularly fussy, so long as you don’t get caught. 

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You teasing him. He laps it up and loves every second of it. 

N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Knives. He is conscious about the use of blades, because of his hat, and he knows how deadly they can be. 

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes receiving. He’s a man with simple needs. 

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Veering more towards fast and rough. Slow down Lao, jesus.

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t prefer them over actual sex, but if you’re offering, he won’t be declining.

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s pretty game- should you manage to convince him. (It doesn’t take too much convincing after explaining to him what it is you want).

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last, etc.)

A few rounds. He’s trained in patience and stamina, after all.

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No, he does not. 

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

So much. He practically thrives off of it. A hand brushing against your thigh under the table, or him moving your hand into his lap to brush against him. Boy gets real risky bearing in mind that he doesn’t want to be seen or caught. 

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s fairly quiet, though he will offer up a growl or a whimper every so often. 

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

Sometimes, when he’s training with Liu Kang, and he knows you’re watching, he’ll subtly flex his arms just to try and get you flustered. 

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants) 

👀A+

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

About medium.

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not too quickly, he’ll be awake for maybe an hour and a half afterwards, quietly talking to you and staring at the ceiling.