#ldr struggles

[fluoxetinegreen444]

Me n who?

[totally-sapphic-posts]

Shout out to the people in long distance relationships who hate the distance and feel like they can’t do it anymore, but still carry on because they love their partner ♡ I see you, I love you, and I hope with all my heart that you get to be with your partner soon

[heartofmuse]

Some days I despair, lover mine, this separation takes a toll on my spirit and soul. Come soon and love me, for I feel I quickly fade into the nothingness of denial. Oh, to want so much I would rather cut off my hands than feel this ache. I tell myself you were just a dream I once had, and try to forget the touch of your hands, the scent of your skin, the taste of your lips for I feel my sanity slip. Why? Why do you make me wait this long, ache this much, bleed me so out of control with wanting you this bad? I know life gets in the way, so many burdens and responsibilities we both bear. Sometimes I believe you make me too much of a saint when I am but a sinner that desires your flesh, for desperation is not a thing of saints.  Deny me not your all for my all cries out for yours. Come, come soon to my open arms for I perish a little more each day that I go without you by my side. 

e.v.e. (Letters to my love)

[bloggingboutburgers]

What are some LDR green flags and some LDR red flags? (bonus points if there's some ace specific ones)

Sorry I took forever to answer that one TwT

I mostly saw a lot of green flags in my own LDR, so it was hard to find red flags at all hehe TwT So I had to talk it over with my partner to get their side too...

In terms of green flags, like I said, I've experienced a lot, but I would say a surefire one is vibing for the same activities to do (either remotely or during the times you can meet in person), and of course, it might sound silly, but just the sheer realization that meeting in person doesn't feel weird, that it just feels either as good or even better than speaking remotely. It speaks volumes. (Ace-wise, personally, I would say few things can beat the feeling of being with that person physically, maybe cuddling and whatnot, and being like "...Ah, wow, I feel really safe with them." It's an ugly reality of at least my own ace experience but I have basic fears of being even the slightest form of physically intimate with most people for a long while; I used not to but then I realized that some people will want that to lead to more, and while that's never put me in danger, it definitely was a cold shower to remember. So... Yeah. Feeling safe is wow.)

Some points that my partner and I would advise to be mindful of, so it doesn't turn into a red flag, would be the following:

Be transparent of when the other person is available/up to talk/etc, and be transparent if YOU're not available or not feeling it today, otherwise it can lead to worries.

Don’t cut the line of communication in the event of an argument. It can be tempting, using a remote speaking service, to just hang up if things escalate, but it won't solve anything. Taking a break is fine, but it's important to basically take the argument to a calmer conclusion, and work out dynamics to calm things down and feel better, not let resentment or stress simmer on forever.

On a similar line, don't bottle up if you feel bad. If the person can't see you, or at least not as often, it might be harder for them to pick up on signals of you don't being as well, so it's important to mention if needed.

Getting your parents and friends to respect your relationship and the time you devote to it. Now that one was tough for my partner and I because we weren't out to our families for quite a while, to preserve ourselves, but that also meant basically that, externally speaking, our families just saw us as texting someone a lot or videochatting a lot, which the less open-minded people will associate with not having a life. It's important to advocate that it's important, even to yourself, if nobody else will do it. And that's definitely a tricky one that you might need to fight for.

Overall basically always communicate and have a genuine want to work on things. LDRs are work, but they're definitely worth it if they make you happy.

[etcetera-nough]

i had to.

[lunarrmoonss]

I’m scared that because of this distance between us, you’ll find somebody who lives by you. someone who can do things with you that I can’t. sometimes I worry you already have. somebody who can go on cute dates with you or go to sleep in your arms.

[ournightlycalls]

i want to tell him I’m falling in love with him but it’s so weird because i feel like this is something I should say in person but i don’t have that privilege :(

[euesworld]

"Her delicious lips were on my letter, I know this cause there's lipstick where she sealed it with a kiss.. I press it to my lips and smell it good, I can almost taste her lips, I would if I could."

She wrote me a letter, how romantic - eUë

[k47w]

I wonder if I can face the months after April. I’ll probably still see your ghost. And your friend’s. You’ll still haunt the walls. I’ll still feel your laughter. But I’ll learn. This goodbye isn’t forever. I can continue. Even if you’re 2000 miles away. I’ll grow and bloom. Even if you’re not watching. I’ll find myself and flourish. I hope you’re still mine by then.

[readmelikeoneofyourfrenchgirls]

The theory of distance

When Einstein discovered the theory of relativity I wonder if he was missing someone. I wonder if time crawled so slowly in their absence that it ceased to exist and he felt suspended in the void, not moving an inch in any direction. Because that’s how I feel without you. I’m reaching out but there’s nothingness. I’m swimming towards you but it feels like a free fall. I’m trying to run but all that exists is inertia under my feet. If there is a shore in this nothingness, I hope it appears now because even in empty, unyielding space my arms feel exhausted and my legs want to rest on solid ground and my soul wants to feel momentum and energy and sunsets watched with your hand in mine and ice cream cones melting away as we steal a kiss, or something, anything that is an evidence that time isn’t as still and that even if I can’t see it, your arms are halfway there to meeting mine.

[fluoxetinegreen444]

why do we all live the same lives?

[deaddaisybaby]

Life is so short

Love is so pure

And despite the distance,

My heart poured into yours.

Distance • 12.24.22

[suryavue]

Hello Old Friend

Hello butterflies, how I’ve missed you so

Hello fireflies, you make my heartstrings glow

It’s been a while since I felt you

Back when I lived in haiku

My lovely energetic friend

I’m spinning, falling, crashing, to no end

It’s starting, the rumble…

I wasn’t even looking this time but it found me,trouble…

The bow in the legs got me, respectfully

The kept a distance, gentlemanly

The bass sent shivers

The eyes made me a deep diver

Butterfly friend, I’m scared of you this time

Before, you left a hole, so big, a crime

And punishment for enjoying your presence…

I’m left to screen time, nothing but his mere essence

The distance, the distance, the distance

Butterfly friend please stop this dance

A white rose, the sign to keep me going

As yet to appear, now I’m questioning

Can his kind love from afar

Butterfly friend, this time, will you leave a scar?

[bloggingboutburgers]

Do you think there's certain 'milestones' in an LDR you should reach before visiting them? Is there a too soon? Most people it seems like it's 5-10 years before they meet in person... and I don't want to wait that long but I don't want to rush anything.

I don't think there ought to be rules for any relationship tbh, aside from what works personally for the people involved! If we all had to do the same thing as people around us, then LDRs probably wouldn't even be a thing to begin with...

I'd say it comes down to personal preference and what your circumstances allow. While some people probably do prefer to wait several years, some people also can't meet in person right away because, say, traveling is expensive and they need to save for it, or because governments decided to implement travel bans/visa difficulties that prevent them from actually seeing each other, or other such things.

For my partner and I, we met up a bit over 6 months after starting our queerplatonic relationship, and after about 2 years of actually knowing each other. And while that did lead to surprised reactions amongst some people we knew, meeting up only cemented how much we vibed together, so it definitely didn't feel like a "too soon"! ('F'course after that we couldn't meet up again for over 3 years because I was saving money for planes and my partner was a student and then jobseeking, and just when we were ready the US travel ban of early 2020 to late 2021 hit, but yeah. Like I said. Circumstances.)

Anyway GOD I keep writing overly long replies, but tl;dr I don't think there's a "too soon", OR a "too late"! If you both feel like meeting up and are materially able to do so, then personally I don't think there's a wrong moment.

[knitruneatrepeat]

Coffee date Tuesday:

- Spring break is officially over. 😭

- I am exhausted and came back with a stuffy nose and sore throat from the weather change. Hey, at least I know it ain’t COVID since I went through that just a couple weeks ago…

- Oh my, all the food pictures from vacation! It was a busy one. And lots of awesome foods. But a LOT of healthy eating. The scale even shows it, too!

- I may have splurged on this yarn. Plus a few other colors and projects. It was super pretty and on sale. Not like my yarn stash needs excuses for growing. 🙄

- Loved time with my honey. I really miss him. As much as his snoring at night bothers me, it’s hard to sleep without him next to me. 😔

- SNOW! Winter’s departing gift to me since I haven’t seen snow in a couple years was to get snow on Sunday before I left Monday.

- The week ahead is very very busy with a ton of things going on.

P.S. Yes, we got an entire plateful of olives so we wouldn’t fight over the few olives in the salad. We are that couple that loves black and kalamata olives. #relationshipgoals

[antiegoistinx3]