#laurie penny

[oscarisaacasimov]

I watched Encanto last week was because there was nothing in the world I wanted more than a by-the-book Disney film. I wanted to space out in front of something lovely and unchallenging. I was hoping for pantomime villains and minimal character development and maybe an amusing animal sidekick.

I was NOT expecting to be completely and utterly emotionally dinsintegrated.

Nothing in the promotional campaign led me to anticipate an all-singing, heart-skinning technicolor vivisection of generational trauma. Encanto -rather like its heroine - utterly bombs at being what it’s supposed to be.

And that’s okay. It’s more than okay.

……………………………………………

If you think that already sounds really very heavy for a cartoon musical, you’re not wrong. Encanto claims to be a family film, and it is. In the exact same way that Gone Girl is a rom-com. Because right away, something feels wrong with this story. 

Part of the genius of Encanto is that, on the surface, it all so looks normal and happy. Everyone’s smiling and dancing! There’s music and color and fun! And much like in a real family, young children will only see the music and magic and rictus grins. There are elements of Encanto that are truly adult in the way that no age-rating system can grasp. Sex and drugs and violence are simple, but working through generational pain is the real grown-up shit.

……………………………………………

There are cracks in the foundation of the house. Cracks that nobody will talk about. Everyone is so scared of it all falling apart again that nobody will see the danger. In a dysfunctional family that’s not ready to heal, there’s no worse crime than asking awkward questions. That’s what Mirabel spends most of the movie doing, even though it might get her shunned, just like her Bad Uncle Bruno. Because in the Madrigal family, as in so many others, if you name the problem, you become the problem -and the structure you relied on to save you suddenly becomes treacherous.

In the most frightening part of the film, Mirabel has asked too many awkward questions- and suddenly, the sentient, all-seeing haunted house that has protected her all her life turns against her. She falls through a rotten floorboard over a terrifying drop, and screams for the house to save her.

It won’t.

So Bruno does.

He never left. He’s still in the goddamn walls, eating the leftovers and spackling over the cracks in secret, because he thinks he’s hurting people with his visions, but he still longs to be part of the family that rejected him. He has made himself a little place setting with his name on it where he can pretend he’s still eating dinner with his mum and sisters. He lives in the walls and the rats are his friends.

Bruno is a twitchy, tic-riddled disaster in his mid-thirties. He’s been bullied and blamed for most of his life, and it hasn’t made him mean, but it has made him sad and strange.

So if Bruno isn’t the villain, who is?

Which brings us to the Abuela problem.

A young woman stumbles out of a living hell of grief and violence and struggle with her babies on her back and promises that whatever it takes, nothing will hurt them, ever again.  She builds a fortress out of that trauma to protect her family from danger, and it works - but over time the fortress becomes a prison. Violence breeds in silence. Secrets harden into shame, and everyone is trapped together by duty and by love with too little money in too few rooms.

This whole story is a commentary on how toxic relationships can limit people’s horizons. Between them, the Madrigals have more than enough power to remake the world outside their valley, and instead they spend their whole time getting on each other’s nerves in a giant house made of metaphor.

……………………………………………

As the story of Encanto builds to a crisis, and Bruno’s visions lead Mirabel to a final confrontation with Abuela, the whole house collapses, almost crushing the family. They survive, but the magic is gone - and so are their powers. It’s about the most devastating, darkly adult moment I’ve ever seen in a kids’ film.

And then Encanto remembers that it's supposed to be a Disney movie. Disney movies are the promise that challenges can be overcome, that the heteronormative nuclear family wins the day, and that specific forms of love conquer all. 

In Encanto, the fairytale fights with the fearful truth right up until the credits roll. The narrative leads us inexorably to a place where the only way for our heroes to truly grow and learn and change is to leave that big broken house behind and go back to the world. And that’s a big problem. A story where magic and the power of The Family don’t fix everything might be healing and powerful and true, but it's not a Disney film.

So the writers chose to give us all the happy ending we wanted but didn't need. In a rushed finale sequence, the Casita comes alive again, Bruno for some reason apologizes to everyone, the Madrigals get their powers back- poor Dolores!- and they all just  move back into the house like nothing happened.

It’s a perfect Disney happy ending- and it feels wrong. But I'm not sure it was the wrong choice. For one thing, it makes it clear that the traditional happy ending isn't always happy for everyone. For another - well.

The version of the story where they just put the big broken house back together and don't talk about the difficult things ever again is pretty damn plausible. They wait for a wedding or a funeral or another high-stakes occasion lubricated by the Booze of Truth, they clear the air, and the next day they clean up the blood and the bruises and broken windows and become that seamless, smiling Disney family again.

[aronarchy]

Let’s not abolish sex work. Let’s abolish all work

By Laurie Penny 26 May 2016

Is sex work “a job like any other”—and is that a good thing? Amnesty International today officially adopted a policy recommending the decriminalisation of sex work around the world as the best way to reduce violence in the industry and safeguard both workers and those who are trafficked into prostitution.

“Sex workers are at heightened risk of a whole host of human rights abuses including rape, violence, extortion and discrimination,” said Tawanda Mutasah, Amnesty International’s senior director for law and policy. “Our policy outlines how governments must do more to protect sex workers from violations and abuse.

“We want laws to be refocused on making sex workers’ lives safer and improving the relationship they have with the police while addressing the very real issue of exploitation,” said Mutasah, emphasising the organisation’s policy that forced labour, child sexual exploitation and human trafficking are human rights abuses which, under international law, must be criminalised in every country. “We want governments to make sure no one is coerced to sell sex, or is unable to leave sex work if they choose to.”

The proposal from the world’s best-known human rights organisation has caused uproar, particularly from some feminist campaigners who believe that decriminalisation will “legitimise” an industry that it is uniquely harmful to women and girls.

As sex workers around the world rally for better working conditions and legal protections, more and more countries are adopting versions of the “Nordic Model”—attempting to crack down on sex work by criminalising the buyers of commercial sex, most of whom are men. Amnesty, along with many sex workers’ rights organisations, claims that that the “Nordic Model” in fact forces the industry underground and does little to protect sex workers from discrimination and abuse.

The battle lines have been drawn, and the “feminist sex wars” of the 1980s are under way again. Gloria Steinem, who opposes Amnesty’s move, is one of many campaigners who believe the very phrase “sex work” is damaging. “‘Sex work’ may have been invented in the US in all goodwill, but it has been a dangerous phrase—even allowing home governments to withhold unemployment and other help from those who refuse it,” Steinem wrote on Facebook in 2015. “Obviously, we are free to call ourselves anything we wish, but in describing others, anything that requires body invasion—whether prostitution, organ transplant, or gestational surrogacy—must not be compelled." She wanted the UN to replace the phrase “sex work” with “prostituted women, children, or people.”

The debate over sex work is the only place where you can find modern liberals seriously discussing whether work itself is an unequivocal social good. The phrase “sex work” is essential precisely because it makes that question visible. Take the open letter recently published by former prostitute “Rae,” now a committed member of the abolitionist camp, in which she concludes: “Having to manifest sexual activity due to desperation is not consent. Utilising a poor woman for intimate gratification—with the sole knowledge that you are only being engaged with because she needs the money—is not a neutral, amoral act.”

I agree with this absolutely. The question of whether a person desperate for cash can meaningfully consent to work is vital. And that’s precisely why the term “sex work” is essential. It makes it clear that the problem is not sex, but work itself, carried out within a culture of patriarchal violence that demeans workers in general and women in particular.

To describe sex work as “a job like any other job” is only a positive reframing if you consider a “job” to be a good thing by definition. In the real world, people do all sorts of horrible things they’d rather not do, out of desperation, for cash and survival. People do things that they find boring, or disgusting, or soul-crushing, because they cannot meaningfully make any other choice. We are encouraged not to think about this too hard, but to accept these conditions as simply “the way of the world.”

The feminist philosopher Kathi Weeks calls this universal depoliticisation of work “the work society”: an ideology under whose its terms it is taken as a given that work of any kind is liberating, healthy and “empowering.” This is why the “work” aspect of “sex work” causes problems for conservatives and radical feminists alike. “Oppression or profession?” is the question posed by a subtitle on Emily Bazelon’s excellent feature on the issue for the New York Times this month. But why can’t selling sex be both?

Liberal feminists have tried to square this circle by insisting that sex work is not “a job like any other,” equating all sold sex, in Steinem’s words, with “commercial rape”—and obscuring any possibility of agitating within the industry for better workers’ rights.

The question of whether sex workers can meaningfully give consent can be asked of any worker in any industry, unless he or she is independently wealthy. The choice between sex work and starvation is not a perfectly free choice—but neither is the choice between street cleaning and starvation, or waitressing and penury. Of course, every worker in this precarious economy is obliged to pretend that they want nothing more than to pick up rubbish or pour lattes for exhausted office workers or whatever it is that pays the bills. It is not enough to show up and do a job: we must perform existential subservience to the work society every day.

In the weary, decades-long “feminist sex wars,” the definitional choice apparently on offer is between a radically conservative vision of commercial sexuality—that any transaction involving sex must be not only immoral and harmful, but uniquely so—and a version of sex work in which we must think of the profession as “empowering” precisely because neoliberal orthodoxy holds that all work is empowering and life-affirming.

That binary often can leave sex workers feeling as if they are unable to complain about their working conditions if they want to argue for more rights. Most sex workers I have known and interviewed, of every class and background, just want to be able to earn a living without being hassled, hurt or bullied by the state. They want the basic protections that other workers enjoy on the job—protection from abuse, from wage theft, from extortion and coercion.

A false binary is often drawn between warring camps of “sex positive” and “sex negative” feminism. Personally, I’m neither sex-positive nor sex-negative: I’m sex-critical and work-negative.

Take Steinem’s concern that if “sex work” becomes the accepted terminology, states might require people to do it in order to access welfare services. Of course, this is a monstrous idea—but it assumes a laid-back attitude to states forcing people to do other work they have not chosen in order to access benefits. When did that become normal? Why is it only horrifying and degrading when the work up for discussion is sexual labour?

I support the abolition of sex work—but only in so far as I support the abolition of work in general, where “work” is understood as “the economic and moral obligation to sell your labour to survive.” I don’t believe that forcing people to spend most of their lives doing work that demeans, sickens and exhausts them for the privilege of having a dry place to sleep and food to lift to their lips is a “morally neutral act.”

As more and more jobs are automated away and still more become underpaid and insecure, the left is rediscovering anti-work politics: a politics that demands not just the right to “better” work, but the right, if conditions allow, to work less. This, too, is a feminist issue.

Understood through the lens of anti-work politics, the legalisation of sex work is about harm reduction within a system that is always already oppressive. It's the beginning, rather than the end, of a conversation about what it is moral to oblige human beings to do with the labour of their bodies and the finite time they have to spend on earth.

Sex work should be legal as part of the process by which we come to understand that the work society itself is harmful. The liberal feminist insistence on the uniquely exploitative character of sex work obscures the exploitative character of all waged and precarious labour—but it doesn’t have to. Perhaps if we start truly listening to sex workers, as Amnesty has done, we can slow down at that painful, problematic place, and speak about exploitation more honestly—not just within the sex industry, but within every industry.

[maryjanedoex]

Laurie Penny, Unspeakable Things: Sex, Lies and Revolution

[cannibalguy]

Thought Crimes: The Case of the CANNIBAL COP (Erin Lee Carter, 2015)

Thought Crimes: The Case of the CANNIBAL COP (Erin Lee Carter, 2015)

This is a fascinating documentary by the highly respected director Erin Lee Carr who also made such acclaimed narratives as Britney vs Spears. The 81 minute documentary features Gilberto Valle, a New York City Police Department officer who haunted online fetish chatrooms in 2012. There he had detailed very graphically his fantasies of kidnapping, torturing, raping, killing, and cannibalising…

[dustedmagazine]

Jonathan Cott — Let Me Take You Down: Penny Lane and Strawberry Fields Forever (University of Minnesota Press)

Whether you adore, loathe, or are indifferent to the Beatles, it seems fair to ask in 2024 what exactly could be left to say about them. Surely at this point the most written about, discussed, mythologized, demythologized, simply covered band (although to be fair, have they blown up on TikTok yet?), it’s understandable both that people would feel compelled to express themselves about the Beatles and that the rest of us might have our eyes glaze over in response. Jonathan Cott has more bona fides in this area than most, having written about and interviewed the band from the 1960s on (including an interview with John Lennon a few days before his murder), and he’s made two smart choices in putting together this particular book: narrowing the focus, and going in a more idiosyncratic, personal direction.

That focus is apparent from the title on down, and it’s a relief to see the scope reduced to two songs. Who needs another general overview of this particular band? (Yes, it’s good those exist in general, there will always be new, curious people as time passes, but it feels like that category is pretty densely populated at this point.) The Beatles are also one of the few acts that could conceivably sustain (in a financial sense) a whole book on one of their singles, even a double A side; even if one wished various other artists would get that kind of analysis, it’s hard to begrudge writers taking their chance to go so deep on one of their few chances to do so. But Let Me Take You Down is only partly a history of the two songs. The first section here covers, in 50 pages, the circumstances of the two songs’ creation, looking at the first period where the four members tried taking a break from the Beatles (and, in some cases, had existential crises about what not being a Beatle might mean), Lennon and McCartney’s artistic partnership/slight rivalry, the personal history that fed into both songs, and so on. It’s well done and moves briskly; someone who knew nothing about the Beatles would probably come away wanting to know more, and those already deeply steeped in the lore won’t feel their time has been wasted.

The second and final section here is nearly twice as long as the first; Cott, clearly a seasoned interviewer (with an impressive ability to either quote other myriad other works and authors out of thin air, or an impressive dedication to keeping potentially relevant quotations on hand to refer to), sits down with “five remarkable people” to discuss the single. Only two of them, Laurie Anderson and Bill Frisell, are primarily known as musicians. The three are the urban planner and Gramavision Records founder Jonathan F. P. Rose, Jungian analyst Margaret Klenck, and actor (and, more significantly for his section, noted Buddhist) Richard Gere. These conversations feel like they make up the heart of the book, and are where it will succeed or fail for most readers.

The tone throughout all five conversations is loose and friendly, with everyone involved engaging with the songs (lyrics, sound, historical context, personal context) deeply but informally. It’s worth noting that the median age of all six interlocutors is in the early 70s, and all come at “Strawberry Fields Forever”/“Penny Lane” from the perspective of people who were there at the time and who’ve been playing and thinking about these two particular songs ever since. Although Cott does have a bit of a thesis (based on James Hillman’s The Dream and the Underworld, with Paul as Zeus taking you “back” and John as Hades taking you “down”), he doesn’t impose it on any of the conversations and they all go in their own directions. Are these songs about depression? memory? love? the illusion of the self? all of the above? Let Me Take You Down’s most signal virtue is the way it might remind you of your own deep conversations with friends about music (Beatles or not), digging deeply into shared passions and volleying insights and theories back and forth.

The result is a book both small and scope but that goes to surprising places. If there are quibbles to be had, they’re along the lines of wishing “Penny Lane” got as much space from any of the people involved as “Strawberry Fields Forever” (but then again, isn’t the underworld something most of us find more fascinating, and easier to talk about, than our pasts?), and that the dense repetition of “said,” “explained,” “commented,” etc. might make one wish these interviews were presented in a more transcript-like style. Those small issues aside, the only big issue Let Me Take You Down really has is the obvious one, that most can answer for themselves instantly: in 2024, do you want to read another book about the Beatles?

Ian Mathers

[fawnvelveteen]

Young Hugh Laurie, Rowan Atkinson, Tony Slattery, Stephen Fry, Penny Dwyer, Emma Thompson and Paul Shearer Winning The First Perrier Comedy Awards, 1981

[spaceagebachelormann]

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

!!REQUEST REQUIREMENTS!!

-> state the character, romantic or platonic, the format of the request, and a plot

-> do you have any specifics for the reader? blonde, poc, male, neurodivergent, etc? (please keep in mind i will write poc readers but i’m white so they may be a little difficult for me)

-> requests are preferred to be sent through inbox, but i can make dms work if needed

-> PLEASE ACTUALLY SPECIFY WHAT YOU WANT WITH YOUR REQUEST!! ITS VERY HARD FOR ME TO WRITE “____ x reader fluff” GIVE ME A PLOT LINE

!!WHAT I WILL WRITE!!

-> platonic

-> romantic

-> familial

-> any gender x any gender

-> headcanons

-> long fics

-> multi character

-> blurbs

-> poly relationships

-> x reader

-> i will only write cheating if it’s a character comforting r after being cheated on, not a character cheating on r

!!WHAT I WONT WRITE!!

-> smut (i’m 15)

-> yandere

-> most aus, ask about the specific au before requesting an au

-> incest

-> age gaps

-> canonical gay/lesbian character x a man (if lesbian) or a woman (if gay)

-> song fics

-> things about ocs

-> ships

-> sunshine x grumpy tropes, i’m horrible at this trope

character list

keeper of the lost cities

sophie foster, dex dizznee, fitz vacker, keefe sencen, biana vacker, marella redek, maruca chebota, tam song, linh song, wylie endal, jensi babblos, stina heks, elwin hesledge

harry potter

harry potter, ron weasley, hermione granger, neville longbottom, luna lovegood, ginny weasley, fred weasley, george weasley, sirius black, james potter, remus lupin, mary macdonald, marlene mckinnon, lily evans, dorcas meadows, regulus black, barty crouch jr, narcissa black, andromeda black, bellatrix lestrange

ride the cyclone

ocean o’connell rosenberg, noel gruber, mischa bachinski, ricky potts, jane doe/penny lamb, constance blackwood

the outsiders

ponyboy curtis, johnny cade, sodapop curtis, darry curtis, steve randall, twobit matthews, dallas winston, cherry valance

the school for good and evil

agatha, sophie, tedros, hort, hester, anadil, dot, nicola, rhian mistral, rafal mistral, clarissa dovey, leonora lesso

little women

jo march, amy march, beth march, meg march, laurie

dracula

dracula, lucy westenra, arthur holmwood, john seward, mina harker, abraham van helsing, renfield, quincey morris, jonathan harker, the brides

frankenstein

victor frankenstein, elizabeth lavenza, henry clerval, adam frankenstein, justine mortiz, ernest frankenstein, the bride

dr jekyll and mr hyde

henry jekyll, edward hyde, richard enfield, gabriel utterson, hastie lanyon, lucy harris

phantom of the opera

christine daaé, erik destler, raoul de chagney, meg giry, carlotta giudicelli

the mighty ducks

charlie conway, adam banks, lester averman, guy germaine, connie moreau, fulton reed, dean portman, julie gaffney, ken wu, luis mendoza, dwayne robertson

david bowie

david bowie, ziggy stardust, jareth, thomas jerome newton, celliers

daisy jones and the six

daisy jones, billy dunne, graham dunne, karen sirko, warren rhodes, pete loving/roundtree, eddie loving/roundtree, camila dunne, simone jackson

doctor who bbc

ninth doctor, tenth doctor, eleventh doctor, twelfth doctor, rose tyler, jack harkness, mickey smith, donna noble, martha jones, clara oswald, river song, amy pond, rory williams, simm! master, missy/gomez master

miss peregrines home for peculiar children

jacob portman, emma bloom, millard nulling, enoch o’connor, olive elephanta, alma peregrine

good omens

crowley, aziraphale, ineffable husbands (poly), beelzebub <3, gabriel, ineffable bureaucracy (poly), nina, maggie, nina and maggie (poly), anathema

what we do in the shadows

nandor the relentless, nadja of antipaxos, laszlo cravensworth, colin robinson, guillermo de la cruz, the guide, baron afanas

yellowjackets

shauna shipman, lottie matthews, misty quigley, taissa turner, van palmer, natalie scatoricco, jackie taylor, travis martinez

star trek (tos/new movies)

jim kirk, spock, leonard mccoy, nyota uhura, hikaru sulu, pavel chekov, montgomery scott, janice rand, christine chapel, khan

miscellaneous characters

sarah williams, bernard the elf, rodrick heffley, varian, lisa frankenstein, the creature (lisa frankenstein)

UPCOMING FANDOMS : american horror story, torchwood, x-men, gossip girl, hannibal, sherlock, ghosts, house md, star trek tng, the x files

[amaliazeichnerin]

About the Neil Gaiman allegations

August 11, 2024 I’ve written a blog about the allegations with some linked material.

And here are some more thoughts about this.

In the podcast „Am I Broken: Survivor Stories“ by Papillon DeBoer (Season 4, Episode 2), Claire talks about something Neil Gaiman said to her:

„I am a wealthy man and I am used to getting what I want.“

This sums up a systemic issue. Wealthy, powerful, influential older white cis men taking advantage again and again of very young (or not so young) female fans or other women, sexually assaulting them - and in Neil Gaiman’s case later claiming it was all consensual. Look at Harvey Weinstein. Jeffrey Epstein. Till Lindemann of the band Rammstein. Jimmy Savile. And so many more.

Even if the allegations cannot be proven in court (as was the case with Till Lindemann), this kind of terrible, entitled behaviour is deeply problematic and unethical.

If you would like to read a bit more about this topic and rape culture (and also consent culture), I can highly recommend the queer feminist non-fiction book „Sexual Revolution: Modern Fascism and the Feminist Fightback“ by Laurie Penny (they/them) which was published in 2022.

Addendum August 14, 2024

A quote from a blog post by Maureen Ryan matches what I wanted to say:

"But, speaking generally, I have a lot of experience dealing with egotistical people (most often men) who exist inside a bubble of fame, money, influence and praise, who are used to getting their way, who do not mind throwing their weight around, and who are not unwilling to throw inconvenient people under the bus, especially if those people are female or from a historically marginalized group. 

This is what the systems of power, influence and money in creative spheres do: They are structures that place supposed Great Artists or powerful rainmakers beyond the realm of accountability, humility, responsibility and consequences. Great Artists and power players (even the mediocre ones) who misuse their positions don’t do it alone: They receive help, silent endorsement, enabling and all kinds of ass-covering courtesy of those who want to attach themselves to the coattails of the Great Artist or the Big-Time Rainmaker."

[femmehysteria]

Best Character Named X Poll

FOLLOW @best-character-named-x-poll

I'm doing a series of "Best Character Named X" polls where all the characters have the same first name but are from completely different media, feel free to send in name/charcacter suggestions, I'm posting one poll a day. New polls scheduled for 1:30PM GMT everyday.

ask box closed for now

WILL BE POSTING POLLS ON @best-character-named-x-poll FROM FEB 1ST

If your favourite character is not included in the poll very sorry i have either never heard of them or actively chose not to include them as theres only 6 characters per poll. Characters will only count of that is their first name, surnames do not count.

Round 85: David

Round 86: Tiffany

Round 87: Charlie

Round 88: Sandy

Round 89: Cody

Round 90: Amanda

Round 91: Jeremy

Past Polls and Poll Ideas under the cut

Names that I have a complete list for*

Caroline, Tyler, Louis, Leonard, Rebecca, Steve, Nicole, Isabelle, Victoria, Katherine, Jade, Alex, Sophie, Greg, Jake, Ellie, Isaac, Robin, Tony, Annie, Lisa, Margaret, Oliver, Clark, Kara, Phoebe, Emma, Ruby, Bart, Alfie, Beth, Julian, Nancy, Penny, Margaret, Tessa, Erica, Theresa, George, Kevin, Sebastian, Felix, Martin, Michael, Erin, Caleb, Helen, Charlotte, Kyle, Martha, Diana, Elsa, Gary, Zoe, Connor, Colin, Daisy, Eric, Maya, Adam, Andy, Magnus, Alma, Nora, Alice, Spike, Leon, Marcel, Kim, Juno, Sue, Chris, Otto, Donald, Daphne, Kate, Todd, Ned, Ken, Angel, Judy, Jo, Hazel, Naomi, Diego, Miranda, Joel, Lila, Duncan, Dexter, Meredith, Pearl, Lily, Malcolm, Napolean, Joan, Nico, Jamie, Nadia, Velma, Jill, Kiera, Rory, Evan, Tam, Klaus, Neil, Derek, Michelle, Luna, Laila, Cordelia, Zack, Imogen, Felicity, Cindy, Alicia, Kelly, Alan, April, Astrid, Delilah, Jodie, Claudia, Juliet, Karen, Jonas, Milo, Celia, Hannah, Joy, Ethan, Katya, Aria, Atticus, Ian, Cynthia, Faye, Frank, Boo, River, Corey, Gabrielle, Minerva, Ebony, Zia, Beverly, Rudy, Georgina

Names I have an incomplete list for (welcome to send character suggestions)

Richter, Sean, Troy, Cain, Agatha, Warren, Percy, Reggie, Mina, Ryan, Felicia, Dylan, Josh, Shirley, Debbie, Jared, June, Mabel, Ray, Chad, Moe, Hugh, Fearne, Christine, Joe, August, May, Scarlet, Alana, Leela, Manny, Dean, Francis, Mason, Oscar, Quinn, Guy, Ulrich, Wally, Yasmin, Tobias, Woody, Sabrina, Quentin, Margot, Alina, Matilda, Freya, Kendra, Angus, Ophelia, Leisel, Zelda, Adora, Piper, Scarlet, Sheila, Valentine, Laurie, Laurel, Fitz, Violet, Gabriel, Ford, Artemis, Owen, Bianca, Newton, Summer, Darcy, Noah, Taylor, Miriam, Hugh, Aurora, Hank, Henry, Dawn, Delia, Cosmo, Wanda, Zeke, Cecil, Aiden, Calvin, Ayesha, Beatrice, Parker, Chase, Hunter, Tina, Misty, Amaya, Amara, Harvey, Talia, Tatiana, Tanya, Orion, Eugene, Kit, Bo, Duke, Blue, Cameron, Rudolf, Mara, Marianne, Carl

Feel free to send more suggestions

*subject to change, you can still submit a character if there is no strikethrough if you think theres a character that its an absolute crime i dont add. Please don't suggest anything for the names with a strikethrough as they are polls that are already in my queue waiting to be published.

Past Polls

Round 1: Peter : WINNER: Peter Parker (Spider-Man)

Round 2: Elizabeth : WINNER: Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Round 3: Jason : WINNER: Jason Mendoza (The Good Place)

Round 4: Eve : WINNER: EVE (WALL-E)

Round 5: Fred : WINNER: Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)

Round 6: Rachel : WINNER: Rachel (Animorphs)

Round 7: Arthur : WINNER: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Round 8: Amy : WINNER: Amy Pond (Doctor Who)

Round 9: Tom : WINNER: Tom (Tom and Jerry)

Round 10: Claire : WINNER: Clare Devlin (Derry Girls)

Round 11: James : WINNER: James (Pokemon)

Round 12: Max : WINNER: Max (Black Sails)

Round 13: Simon : WINNER: Simon Belmont (Castlevania)

Round 14: Jane : WINNER: Jane Crocker (Homestuck)

Round 15: Victor : WINNER: Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice)

Round 16: Mary : WINNER: Mary Poppins (Mary Poppins)

Round 17: Will : WINNER: Will Graham (Hannibal)

Round 18: Laura : WINNER: Laura Palmer (Twin Peaks)

Round 19: Ben : WINNER: Ben "Obi-Wan" Kenobi (Star Wars)

Round 20: Chloe : WINNER: Chloe Price (Life Is Strange)

Round 21: John : WINNER: Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives)

Round 22: Lydia : WINNER: Lydia Deetz (Beetlejuice)

Round 23: Mark : WINNER: Marc Spector (Moon Knight)

Round 24: Jess : WINNER: Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad)

Round 25: Theo : WINNER: Theobald Gumbar (Dimension 20: A Crown Of Candy)

Round 26: Sarah: WINNER: Sarah Jane Smith (Doctor Who)

Round 27: Richard : WINNER: Richard Gansey III (The Raven Cycle)

Round 28: Cass : WINNER: Cassandra Cain (Batman)

Round 29: Edward : WINNER: Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Round 30: Carm : WINNER: Carmen Sandiego (Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?)

Round 31: Hal : WINNER: HAL9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey)

Round 32: Sid : WINNER: Sydney Adamu (The Bear)

Round 33: Jack : WINNER: Captain Jack Harkness (Doctor Who)

Round 34: Stephanie : WINNER: Stephanie Brown (Batman)

Round 35: Ash : WINNER: Ash Ketchum (Pokemon)

Round 36: Veronica : WINNER: Veronica Sawyer (Heathers)

Round 37: Kurt : WINNER: Kurt Wagner aka Nightcrawler (X-Men)

Round 38: Eleanor : WINNER: Eleanor Shellstrop (The Good Place)

Round 39: Nathan : WINNER: Nathan Young (Misfits)

Round 40: Fiona : WINNER: Princess Fiona (Shrek)

Round 41: Gale : WINNER: Gayle Waters-Waters (Chris Fleming)

Round 42: Barbara : WINNER: Barbara Millicent Roberts aka Barbie (Barbie)

Round 43: Sam : WINNER: Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings)

Round 44: Grace : WINNER: Grace Chastity (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

Round 45: Barry : WINNER: Barry Bluejeans (The Adventure Zone)

Round 46: Raven : WINNER: Raven (Teen Titans)

Round 47: Dan : WINNER: Danny Fenton (Danny Phantom)

Round 48: Mia : WINNER: Mia Fey (Ace Attorney)

Round 49: Matt : WINNER: Matt Murdock (Daredevil)

Round 50: Rose : WINNER: Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Round 51: Robert : WINNER: Robbie Rotten (LazyTown)

Round 52: Lola : WINNER: Lola Bunny (Space Jam)

Round 53: Scott : WINNER: Scott Summers aka Cyclops (X-Men)

Round 54: Olivia : WINNER: Olivia Octavious (Spiderverse)

Round 55: Finn : WINNER: Finn the Human (Adventure Time)

Round 56: Emily : WINNER: Emily Charlton (The Devil Wears Prada)

Round 57: Elliot : WINNER: Eliot Spencer (Leverage)

Round 58: Sonia : WINNER: Sonia (Pokemon)

Round 59: Gideon : WINNER: Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb)

Round 60: Jen : WINNER: Jennifer Check (Jennifer's Body)

Round 61: Miles : WINNER: Miles Morales (Spider-Man)

Round 62: Lana : WINNER: Lana Skye (Ace Attorney)

Round 63: Spencer : WINNER: Spencer Shay (iCarly)

Round 64: Tracy : WINNER: Tracy Turnbald (Hairspray!)

Round 65: Luke : WINNER: Luke Skywalker (Star Wars)

Round 66: Natalie : WINNER: Natalie Scatorccio (Yellowjackets)

Round 67: Harry : WINNER: Harry Du Bois (Disco Elysium)

Round 68: Lucy : WINNER: Lucy van Pelt (Peanuts)

Round 69: Damian : WINNER: Damian Wayne (Batman)

Round 70: Tabitha : WINNER: Tabitha Casper (Dan and Phil Games: Sims 4)

Round 71: Nick : WINNER: Nicholas D. Wolfwood (Trigun)

Round 72: Gwen : WINNER: Guinevere (Merlin)

Round 73: Paul : WINNER: Paulette Bonafonte (Legally Blonde)

Round 74: Abigail : WINNER: Abigail Hobbs (Hannibal)

Round 75: Jordan : WINNER: Jordan Baker (The Great Gatsby)

Round 76: Donna : WINNER: Donna Noble (Doctor Who)

Round 77: Morgan : WINNER: Morgana (Merlin)

Round 78: Allison : WINNER: Alison Cooper (BBC Ghosts)

Round 79: Patrick : WINNER: Patrick Star (Spongebob Squarepants)

Round 80: Linda : WINNER: Linda Belcher (Bob's Burgers)

Round 81: Philip : WINNER: Philip J. Fry (Futurama)

Round 82: Clarisse : WINNER: Clarisse La Rue (Percy Jackson)

Round 83: Jeff

Round 84: Maria

[bubblyernie]

A mock cover and spots for "Your Orisons May Be Recorded" by Laurie Penny! This story really resonated with me ;w; This art is not in collab with, I'm just a big fan of the work LOL 

art tag // commission info

[cleverwordsandotherstuffilike]

"Men grow up expecting to be the hero of their own story. Women grow up expecting to be the supporting actress in somebody else’s… I refuse to burn my energy adding extra magic and sparkle to other people’s lives to get them to love me. I’m busy casting spells for myself."

— Laurie Penny

[posarmeklen]

A couple of days after Reuben gave birth to his offspring, Shirley and the kids came to visit their weary, recovering, yet relieved manager in the hospital. Apparently, there are two sides to every story.

Indeed, in actuality… Shirley was unexpectedly the one who had to step in and act as chauffeur – she was preparing for a concert alone at home with around a half-hour to spare (Keith drove the rest of the kids to the venue, and Shirley was meeting them, for a plot-irrelevant reason), when Reuben knocked on the door. She was surprised to see him – although he was the family’s good friend and therefore would never truly stay away, he had officially embarked on a leave of absence given by his agency for the last few weeks of pregnancy. (How are talent managers afforded parental leave? Asking for a friend.)

Shirley looked him up and down with a subtle mixture of amusement and empathy on her face. He was dressed casually, in a plain T-shirt, comfortable slacks, and sneakers, and looked bigger than even the last time she had seen him. It wasn’t long following greeting each other that Reuben hissed in pain and pressed his hand to his side. “Oh - what’s the matter?!” asked Shirley, an expression nearly matching his briefly contorting her features. Reuben explained that he had been in intermittent discomfort since last night. “Shirley, on my way here? I almost had to pull over,” he divulged grimly. “Oh?” But soon enough, Reuben radically switched gears to cheerfully inquiring if she was doing anything today. “Yes, we have a concert.” “Today?” “Today. It’s the last one you booked us for before you left.” “Oh, right. Well, you know how it is. One day blends into the next when you’re living on PLST.” “P.L.S.T.?” “Parental…leave…standard time. Heh…” “Well. I don’t seem to remember that term from my days as a new parent. It must be some new-fangled invention from you ‘younger’ set!” Shirley made a mock-grandiose gesture before playfully rubbing Reuben’s shoulder.

She invited him inside while she retrieved some paperwork, the true reason for his appearance (he was tying up loose ends before the baby was born and things would change again). But of course, they got to talking on the sofa, Shirley expressing happily that it wouldn’t be long at all before the birth and going on to ask if he had spoken to his doctor about his recent pain (the answer was no, not yet; this caused him to reveal that there was a “last time” that turned out to be a mere false alarm). Reuben lamented just “knowing” that the pregnancy would last ridiculously long (“pregnant forever” fare – to be clear, he was just a week or two away from his due date) and that the birth would be especially traumatic, perhaps including some element that he suddenly mentioned to be present in his own birth, like the use of forceps, which resulted in him having a mildly “cone-shaped” head in the weeks following the day he was born. Reuben shook his head in disgust, while Shirley grimaced kindly at the unprovoked level of detail. (How can we forget classics such as “my mind was opened when I was nine” from the tag of the sex education episode? “Did I ever tell you about Penny Wentworth?” “Happily, no. 😊” “Well, Penny Wentworth and I…” *saved by an approaching Laurie*)

However, all it took was the most surefire sign of labor (the rather abrupt appearance of a telltale liquid on the furniture…), and the declaration by Shirley that a hospital trip was in order, to cause Reuben’s rapid pivot to “Now, Shirley, let’s not rush into things…” Nonetheless, Shirley was forced to move quickly, trying to keep her wits about her. I think she would be good in a crisis, given her compassionate, understanding, level-headed nature, and she’s of course a mom (she’s been in the other role in this situation more than once) – but that doesn’t mean she’s immune to a panicky surge of adrenaline in the face of a dear friend (who she still didn’t know intimately like that) about to give birth! Plus, she didn’t want to get Reuben more nervous than he certainly was (even if he hadn’t been showing it, it was so natural that she could assume), so she (only semi-successfully) attempted to maintain a composed exterior.

By the way, can you say “Shirley is missing her concert today”? Because Shirley is missing her concert today. My current thought is that her absence would oh-so-coincidentally give a flavor-of-the-week guest star a la Dora Kelly or Lavonne Laverne – this particular one would’ve acted as substitute manager while Reuben was out of commission, only for Reuben to still turn up like a bad penny, providing total backseat driver guidance – or their significant other to live their dream of performing on stage as a replacement (well, the replacement part probably wasn’t included in the dream. I meant the performing on stage part). I’m still working out the kinks (or, should I say, the Kincaids). Of course, Shirley called her children somewhere in the middle of all this, informing them of her whereabouts and the circumstance. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. They expected those kids to perform? After Shirley dropped the dreaded “our manager’s water broke” bomb? Fastest way to get my tambourine to fall right out of my newly cold, clammy hands.

Anyway, back at the house, the phone rang in the quasi-commotion (Reuben managed to confirm with Shirley, “You got that?”, almost a dig at his own sort-of incapacitation), and it turned out to be Bonnie Kleinschmidt, sexy stewardess extraordinaire, Reuben’s four-episode lover, and other parent of his unborn child. After calling Reuben’s apartment twice and receiving no answer, she remembered that she had the Partridges’ number for one reason or another, so she figured she might as well give it a try and ask if his favorite clients had seen him. Bonnie had no idea how in luck she was! Shirley confirmed vaguely that Reuben was actually with her at the moment and swallowed hard when the young woman asked to speak to him. “Bonnie. I don’t want you to be nervous, but I’m going to drive Reuben to the hospital,” said Shirley, and she explained that he was in labor more than once, as the big news was apparently falling on deaf (shocked) ears. “Well, can I talk to him?” Bonnie finally repeated. Resignedly, Shirley outstretched her arm to Reuben, who seemingly appeared out of thin air behind her post-pacing-the-floor to snatch the phone from her hand.

“Bonnie? Yes, it’s me. Bonnie, I want you to know, if anything happens…” Reuben rubbed his temple. “My mother’s gonna haggle with you about the apartment, the car. Maybe even the card table. Well, you heard it here first. I give you carte blanche!” Bonnie nodded once, quickly. “Put Shirley back on,” came the clipped, resolute response. “I – uh, I don’t want a big service.” “Put Shirley back on.” “Enough to fill a small banquet hall would be fine…” The tall, blond man leaned onto the half-wall separating the Partridges’ kitchen and living room, his words mildly strangled. “Reuben, you’re going to be okay. I said to give the phone back to Shirley,” Bonnie said, voice more deliberate and warmer now.

She agreed to meet the pair at San Pueblo General Hospital, and off Reuben and Shirley went in the latter’s station wagon. Reuben sat uncomfortably slumped in the passenger seat, elbow on the armrest and legs stretched out as far as they could go. “Step on it, Shirley…!” he said, momentarily removing his palm from his face to wave his hand in a rushed circular motion. “I’m climbing the walls here.” Later, he had the half-crazed pained hunch that he knew another route that could get them to their destination faster, so he reached across Shirley and moved the steering wheel, just enough for the car to swerve partially into the next lane. “Reuben! You’re going to drive us right off the road!” exclaimed Shirley over the angry sound of a horn, regaining control of the car. “That seems preferable to the current situation,” Reuben grumbled, before Shirley made a poignant clarifying statement that he would drive “all three of them” off the road (not to guilt him, but hopefully to somewhat ground him).

At the hospital, Shirley didn’t stay in the room for the birth (it wasn’t her place 😤), but she was a supportive presence until Bonnie and the formidable Clara Kincaid (btw, in terms of the actors who portray them in the show, both Shirley and Reuben weirdly have Wizard of Oz parents?) arrived. Shirley reassured Reuben that she knew he could pull through, and acknowledged how difficult things were before suggesting it would make him feel better to try to breathe. A short discussion about how it was impossible that he forgot how to do so apparently took Reuben over the edge. “I see your mouth moving, but I don’t know what you’re saying!” he told Shirley.

FYI - Truth be told, in this scenario’s “infancy”, I planned to make Reuben’s birth experience unusually smooth, short, and easy (a sort of subversion of his canon bad luck and harassment – that too made sense somehow), but in the end, I failed to resist the temptation of seeing him freak out in labor… it’s just too good! (Put your worries to rest - the pregnancy is still being cut mildly shorter than expected, and things moved fairly quickly from the arrival at the hospital onward. 😉)

Anyway, Bonnie finally came in the main entrance of the hospital, looking mildly disheveled – she had on jeans and a short-sleeved sweater, curls pulled back in a loose ponytail and messy tendrils framing her face. Asking the receptionist where Reuben was gave her some pause – their relationship was always tempestuous, and due to a multitude of factors (personal differences, Reuben’s commitment to the “bachelor” life and seeming intimacy issues, you name it) they decided to co-parent as single people rather than live as a “traditional” family. (Miss Kleinschmidt actually moved to LA to be closer to Reuben and their child, however, even though she didn’t make an honest man out of him. Also, I can picture the two faced much teasing from the Partridges in the first year or two of the baby’s life, much to their chagrin – ex. “Just get married, already! You guys bicker like you’re approaching your fortieth anniversary” from Keith.) Should she call him her partner? Father of her child? Her ex-boyfriend? “My…Reuben,” she settled on brilliantly.

In the end, it wasn’t until the unmistakable gasping cry of a newborn pierced the air that the medical personnel announced, “It’s a girl!” And you know what? I did some research (because, let’s face it, me and realism… we’re *tightly crosses my fingers* likethis!), and the act of discovering a fetus’s sex through ultrasound was JUST being established in the 1970s, if that. This was 1974-1975, and I doubt Reuben would’ve been on his toes with obstetric advances, so waiting until birth it was. The baby was gently placed on his chest, eliciting an expression of overwhelm and disbelief from him, eyes darting around at first like he wanted to say something.

An interesting tidbit about this baby is that she was granted the surname “Kincaid-Kleinschmidt”. It rolls right off the tongue! Apparently, Reuben had grown enough through recent experience that he was able to forgo some male arrogance in order to concede something significant to someone he cared about (even when he was the one in worse physical shape at the moment, to say the least – this was decided during the pregnancy). “Well, we’re not married, and you’re the baby’s mother,” he had reasoned in conversation with Bonnie. His child’s full name is Cynthia Kincaid-Kleinschmidt. The very profound highly-anticipated reason behind “Cynthia” is that it was a common girls’ name in the 70s and Reuben would probably be conservative with first name choices. He and Bonnie just thought it sounded nice.

This brings us again to the Partridges coming to visit in the hospital. Reuben’s daughter cried in his arms, as babies do. “It’s ok,” Danny comforted her. “I cry too when I see Mr. Kincaid!” All Reuben could do was shoot him an exasperated look, a smile tugging at his mouth. Of course, someone ended up making a crack about the “soiled” couch at home, which Reuben then took as an opportunity to express a more genuine sentiment to the matriarch of the family. “I…I don’t know what to say, Shirley,” he told her. “I’m forever in your debt.” “Well, sure. I suppose I must’ve just not read the fine print about my side of the deal in our contract. Personal driver, midwife…” she rambled on cheekily, before breaking into a heartfelt grin. “It’s no problem, Reuben. I would do it a hundred times over if it meant you and little Cynthia would be alright.”

Reuben would remain in the hospital for around a week after the birth – apparently, in the Partridges’ day, it was customary for people who gave birth to stay for 5-10 days or so (or so I remember reading, as opposed to most cases now, where it’s a much shorter duration), while their rest and recuperation was prioritized and they cared for their baby only during allotted times (for the rest of the time, the staff looked after them). Huh! The more you know! When it came time, his mother drove the new parents and child home, Reuben and Bonnie sharing the backseat with Cynthia. Ahh, happy for those kids.

[desolate-skies]

found out about hugh laurie rowing in uni + the rowing shot in the intro, and am captivated by the worst kind of house au…a college rowing au

i just know that wilson would get plucked out of novice obscurity as a freshman to row a double with house bc no one else can tolerate him in their boat…and YES, house would obviously bow bc he’s a control freak on top of being a real freak (and YES, house makes nonstop jokes about wilson’s “stroke”)

obviously, cuddy would be a coach who was house’s coxswain at some point in his rowing career. purely so house has even more fodder for inappropriate puns about her body…

and OF COURSE chase would be the rich boy whose daddy bought the team nice new boats and sponsors some of the rowers…and OF COURSE, foreman hates him for it and refuses to let chase pay a penny of his team dues

(also thirteen and amber are homoerotic pair partners who are constantly competing)

also also, kutner flips every boat he’s in. amen

[ravensnpennies]

Plea for Mutual Aid

We buried the Boy today. I have updated the GoFundMe. If you have a spare penny to donate it would be much appreciated as both Herself and I try to navigate this loss.

[thestupidhelmet]

Okay, let's have some fun and do a Jukebox Ask Game! You can have me ask you a question, or you can ask me a question. Your choice.

Send me a number and a letter (they're under the cut). Or ask me to give you a number and letter (but I pick which ones, obviously 😅). We're free to interpret the word and apply it to the characters and ships however we want.

Autumn

Book

Camping

Dare

Emotion

Fever

Gambling

Home

Invitation

Joke

Kiss

Love

Memory

Night

Ode

Promise

Quest

Replace

Song

Talent

Urgency

Vacation

Winner

Yearly

Zombie

Eric

Donna

Jackie

Hyde

Fez

Kelso

Red

Kitty

Laurie

Bob

Midge

Joanne

Brooke

Rhonda

Angie

W.B.

Jack Burkhart

Pam Burkhart

The Erdmans (Fez's host parents)

Edna Hyde

Bud Hyde

John Kelso

Caroline

Buddy Morgan

Penny (Eric's "hot" cousin)

Mitch

Casey

Pastor Dave

Eric/Donna

Jackie/Hyde

Red/Kitty

Fez/Rhonda

Kelso/Brooke

Kelso/Laurie

Bob/Midge

Bob/Joanne

Eric/Jackie

Eric/Buddy

Fez/Laurie

Fez/Buddy

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Clip ft. jeremy morse, lauren marcus, will roland Singing "penny dreadfuls" By joe iconis During the finale Of the joe iconis haunted halloween special At the laurie beechman theater On halloween From jenashtep