#laurie cook
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fearsmagazine · 2 years ago
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CONSECRATION - Review
DISTRIBUTOR: IFC Midnight & Shudder
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SYNOPSIS: After the suspicious death of her brother who was a priest, Grace, an accomplished ophthalmologist in London, is summoned to the Mount Saviour Convent in Scotland to find out what really happened to him. Refusing to believe the convent’s insistence that he committed ‘suicide,’ and determined to discover what really happened to him, Grace starts her own investigation into her brother’s death as the nuns prepare a consecration ceremony to purify the holy site. By doing so, she uncovers murder, sacrilege and something far more disturbing, which relates to the forgotten years of her own childhood, intertwined with that of the holy order of the convent and the secret it’s charged with protecting.
REVIEW: Christopher Smith’s CONSECRATION is a magnificently crafted tale that combines a genre tale with a mystery thriller. Just like the big reveal of a whodunit, he provides us with all the clues and we still don’t see it coming.
The tale begins by presenting us with Grace, a strong woman of science, who seems gracious and thoughtful, but clearly not religious. Her brother, Michael, is a priest, which offers a nice contrast to her character. Given elements surrounding the investigation into her brother’s death she decides that she needs to do her own investigation. Her brother has not simply committed suicide, but he is accused of murdering a fellow priest. Upon her arrival Grace meets Father Romero, who has been sent by the Vatican to investigate the deaths and re-consecrate the church due to the bloody events. Clearly, there is something that they are not telling her, but while the nuns seem hostile Father Romero appears to be on her side and provides her with a box of her brother’s belongings. As she dives into the mystery Grace begins to have visions, some memories long forgotten. The plot does an excellent job of weaving in complex characters with supernatural elements that are plotted like a well crafted mystery.  As the story draws to its climax the biggest question becomes the true nature of evil given the full scope of what’s transpired. If someone perceives another’s actions as evil are they or is it because of an ignorance on the other’s part? It is an excellent question that has been addressed in literature but I don’t believe as adroitly in a genre film.
The film is spectacular to look at. There is a subtle tone that feels like it pays homage to Ken Russell’s 1971 film “The Devils,” but is a bit more grounded. I loved the costumes, the production designs and the cinematography. It is a tale that draws keenly on the location. The modern church and the ruins added so much to the film. There is a lot of atmosphere that is enhanced by the lighting, angles and framing. There are a lot of shots that employ classic imagery of genre films from the 60’s and 70’s.  Enhancing the performances and visuals is a marvelous score by composer Nathan Halpern. It easily calls to mind the works of Jerry Goldsmith, but with subtler moments that nudge the tension and suspense without being employed for a jump effect.
Veteran actress Jena Malone plays Grace. She presents a vast emotional palette that is grounded in strength and slowly becomes immersed in this surreal nightmare that feels like a contemporary Alice falling down a religious spiral. There is a point where she evolves from victim to hero of her story. Deep down you want to cheer for her. Danny Huston is fantastic as Father Romero. While there is something not to trust about Vatican lawyers, he presents this sincere person who is on Grace’s side among this order of vipers. It is a more restrained performance than some of those we’ve seen before, but certainly not lacking authority and gravitas. Stealing the show is Dame Janet Suzman as mother superior. She brings to life the nightmare of every Catholic schooled child in the world. No matter what is coming out of her mouth, there are times you can see the murder taking place behind her eyes. The rest of this talented cast creates memorable moments, layering the mystery and fostering the tension that make this such a haunting view.
CONSECRATION is another great film by veteran filmmaker Christopher Smith. With co-writer Laurie Cook, he creates a hypnotic tale that blends mystery and supernatural elements into a spellbinding character study. The visuals and performances beguile the viewer into the tale, delivering a crescendo with a stunning ending almost as impactful as “The Sixth Sense.” CONSECRATION is a wickedly delightful supernatural mystery with an ending that leaves you with something to ponder. Christopher Smith is a talented filmmaker, and if you have not seen his other features such as “Creep,” “Severance,” “Black Death,” or “The Banishing,” to name a few, you should seek them out.
CAST: Jena Malone, Danny Huston, Ian Pirie, Dame Janet Suzman, Thoren Ferguson, Victoria Donovan, Angela White, Jolade Obasola, & Alexandra Lewis. CREW: Director/Screenplay - Christopher Smith; Screenplay/Producer - Laurie Cook; Producers - Stuart Ford, Casey Herbert, Xavier Marchand & Jason Newmark; Cinematographers - Rob Hart & Shaun Mone; Score - Nathan Halpern; Editor - Arthur Davis; Production Designer - Elizabeth El-Kadhi; Costume Designer - Emily Newby; Makeup Supervisor - Liz Arklie; Prosthetics Artist - Nikoleta Tzani; Special Effects Supervisor - Keith Harding; Visual Effects - AGC Studios/Bigscope Films; Visual Effects Producer - Joe Carhart OFFICIAL: www.ifcfilms.com/films/consecration FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/IFCMidnight/ TWITTER: twitter.com/IFCMidnight TRAILER: https://youtu.be/uDO3CafOomI RELEASE DATE: In Theaters February 10th, 2023, from IFC Films and Shudder
**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay),  or 👎 (Dislike)
Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri
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happytogigglealone · 6 months ago
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I just watched a video where RSL once described Wilson and House's relationship to the cast as "Pooh and Tigger."
Indeed why Pooh and Tigger? A naive bear and a reckless tiger? It does look familiar tho.
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garak · 11 months ago
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fearful symmetry — reflection & the dual figure in watchmen (1986)
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paging-possum · 2 months ago
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I need to get Dunkin reread all of brainchild and lez the fuck out
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assim-eu-sou · 1 year ago
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versus
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why is… and I can’t believe I’m saying this… why is Germán making all the difference right now 😿
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daybreakrising · 6 months ago
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HEADCANONS - M.ENOGIAS & MOUNTAIN SHAPER
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okay i said it was coming, and here it is. get ready to dive into the chaos that is my meno brain- also, for reference, i have a deep hatred for the npc treatment both mountain shaper & moon carver received in game, so my visual for a humanoid mountain shaper is more along the lines of this artwork. (source - includes moon carver!)
i've already touched on this a little in this hc post, but i believe m.enogias & mountain shaper are connected, beyond that of allies and friends. we know from this year's lantern rite that he and moon carver knew m.enogias well, with hints that they were close as old friends, both of them reminiscing about his craftsmanship skills. (i also have some theories about the unknown third adeptus who helped to seal a.zhdaha alongside mountain shaper and moon carver, which i may touch on in another post one day-)
but then why specifically mountain shaper, lauri? well, as briefly touched upon in that other hc post, there are elements of mountain shaper that lean more towards an affinity with geo - his colour scheme is common amongst other geo characters (also pyro, i recognise, but let me cook), and his use of amber rock, which is considered a geo construct.
of course, my brain has taken these things and run with them - thus it is my opinion that m.enogias & mountain shaper had a closer bond through their affinity with geo. it's already a hc of mine that m.enogias felt drawn to z.hongli for the same reason (which is partly why he was the recipient of a lot of m.enogias' designs - the man has bias, what can i say?), so why not be drawn to other geo-aligned adepti, too?
MT. HULAO
m.enogias chose mountain shaper's domain to act as his "home" because of this close bond. he could often be found within the vicinity of the mountain when not with his yaksha siblings and his favoured spot for meditation was at the mountain's peak, above the entrance to mountain shaper's abode (he had a secondary meditation spot, too, overlooking the water outside the entrance - pictures of exact locations found at the end of this meta, under a cut bc Big).
due to their bond, mountain shaper even permitted m.enogias to live within his abode whenever he wished, and accommodated him well - there was even a chamber dedicated to his craft where m.enogias was free to work in his preferred solitude, as few were (and are) permitted within the adeptus' abode.
despite this internal space, m.enogias also had an outdoor workspace that he would use frequently - though he claimed it was entirely because of the natural light it offered, this was in fact only part of the reasoning for his use of an outdoor space: another was simply that he wished to allow mountain shaper his own privacy given that it is his home. it was out of respect for his fellow adeptus that he did not 'overstay his welcome' inside the abode.
this outdoor workspace was situated atop an elevated area at the peak of the mountain, overlooking qingyun peak and beyond (where the teleport waypoint is now located) - this was a favoured view of m.enogias'. he constructed a vast stone table upon which to work, carved with geometric shapes and lines, amongst which could be found symbols that represented his siblings, r.ex l.apis, g.uizhong, and the three adepti of the peaks: mountain shaper, moon carver, and cloud retainer. the table was a work of art in itself - and sadly is no longer there, as when m.enogias fell, the great table cracked into pieces.
it is rumoured amongst the adepti, however, that mountain shaper kept the pieces - they sit on display within the chamber he gave to m.enogias, surrounded by sketched designs and half-finished garments, it is said.
because this was m.enogias' favourite place in l.iyue, and because of mountain shaper's importance to him, m.orax buried the crystal heart left behind after his death deep beneath mt. hulao, to act as his final resting place (in his resurrected au verse, this is also where m.enogias reawakens).
A DEEP CONNECTION
listen... if you didn't expect this, you clearly don't know me well enough yet-
though it was never named or really addressed formally, there was a romantic element to the bond shared between m.enogias & mountain shaper - at least, from m.enogias' side. whether it was reciprocated or not i am deliberately leaving vague (on the rare chance a ms muse will pop up, please i am begging you-), likewise whether or not it was acted upon is... also vague.
i will say, however, that m.enogias' views on romance and relationships are... fairly open. he is content both with fleeting and committed bonds, and he is happy to be involved in poly relationships as well as monogamous ones. the connection he had with mountain shaper was enough for him, regardless of what form it took.
VISUAL REFERENCES
i just wanted to include some images to show the exact locations mentioned to add some context - these will all be under a cut bc i don't want people to have to scroll past a series of huge screenshots adfkjgnlfkh
first, his favourite spot for meditation, atop the peak above mountain shaper's abode:
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second, his other preferred spot to meditate, overlooking the water at the entrance to the abode:
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third, the spot where his stone table used to sit - the view it overlooked (left) & its location in relation to mountain shaper's abode (right):
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and fourth, the spot at the base of mt. hulao where he reawakens in his resurrected verse:
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behind this waterfall is a concealed entrance that m.orax used when he first buried m.enogias' crystal heart beneath the mountain - use of the geo element is required to open it.
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flynnyfan · 1 year ago
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Christmassy pics of Thomas Flynn celebrating with his family and friends, from his own IG stories this month, as well as his friends' IG stories recently.
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to everyone reading - I hope you have a wonderful time with loved ones🎄💝
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ineverypictureapoem · 2 years ago
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Boldly Go Steffi Cook by Laurie Bartley Elle UK, 2023
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jostenskeeper · 16 hours ago
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is it just me that finds 'little women' unbearably preachy?
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ace-with--a-mace · 7 months ago
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OH OK
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eclecticpjf · 1 year ago
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Now watching:
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thealogie · 1 year ago
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Hugh Laurie really said can you please shut the fuck up bro this reporter and I are trying to cook here
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keanusbabydoll · 4 months ago
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longing
paring: peepaw!myers x fem!reader
warnings: 18+content, angst, mentions of murder, michael himself is a warning, smut, rough sex, no aftercare, choking, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, little to no foreplay, huge age gap, sadism if you squint
a/n: probably not the best smut i’ve written but it was 3am and i was tired :o
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it was a chilly night in haddonfield, the air thick with an unsettling silence. the streets were eerily empty, except for the flickering jack-o'-laterns on porches and the occasional sound of children laughing in the distance. on one street, however, the atmosphere was anything but calm. a mob of angry residents had gathered, their faces set with determination and a hint of desperation. they were waiting, waiting for the moment of retribution against the shape that had haunted their town for decades.
among the mob were you, a young woman, confused and scared. you clutched a baseball bat that a stranger gave to you nervously, your knuckles white from the tension. you had lost friends to michael myers, the embodiment of pure evil, but you couldn't shake the feeling off that what those people were about to do wasn't right.
the mob's plan was simple: lure michael myers into a trap and end his reign of terror once and for all. karen, your best friend's mom, also daughter of laurie strode, was the one to set the bait, stepping out of the dark with michael's mask in her hand.
michael, unmasked and exposed, approached the trap with his usual silent menace. he reached down and grabbed his mask, pulling it on with a tight grip on his knife. the mob surged forward, ready to attack, but you hesitated. you let the bat fall from your hands and took a few steps back, your heart pounding in your chest. as the people descended on Michael, your eyes widened in horror. you knew this wasn't right. even after everything he has done.
a scream tore from your throat, halting everyone in their tracks. even Michael's blank, soulless eyes seemed to turn towards you.
"stop! this isn't right!" you yelled. "he's also just human!"
the people turned their hateful gazes on you, their faced twisted with anger and disgust. your words defending michael led to you being grabbed roughly, hands tied behind your back. you were thrown to the ground next to Michael, the cold pavement digging into your knees. you thought it was over, you would be slaughtered right next to the shape.
but Michael had other plans.
with a swift, brutal efficiency, he fought back, killing everyone who dared to attack him. blood splattered the ground, screams filled the air, but you were untouched. when the gruesome scene in front of you ended, Michael's cold eyes fixed on you. his knife still clung tightly in his hand. your breath caught in your throat as he approached, your body trembling with fear. you closed your eyes, expecting the end.
instead, you felt the tightness around your wrists disappear. your eyes snapped open in shock to see Michael standing over you, his head tilted in that unsettling way. you cautiously got to your feet, taking a few steps back. but Michael didn't move to harm you; instead he pointed at his wounded chest, silently asking you for help. hesitating, you nodded, your heart still pounding. in a flash Michael lifted you effortlessly, carrying you to an abandoned cabin on the outskirts of town.
the cabin was a relic of a bygone era, its walls creaking with age and neglect. you carefully tended to Michael's wounds, using whatever supplies you could find. you knew that this was incredibly wrong, but somehow it felt so right to you. feeling a strange sense of duty and compassion, you stayed with him. michael, for his part, was confused by your gentleness, your care. he was used to hate, to killing, not kindness.
over a few months, you and Michael settled into an uneasy coexistence. you both moved into your house, hidden away form the prying eyes of the world. you took care of him in every way that you could, cooking for him, buying him proper clothes. the shape was perplexed by your tenderness and your determination to protect him. he didn't understand why he allowed it, why he didn't kill you like everyone else. something about you was different.
as time passed, you found yourself falling for the masked man. you couldn't explain it, but there was something about Michael that drew you in. despite his cold exterior and violent tendencies, you believed that there was more to him. he was still a mystery, a cold, silent presence in your home. maybe it was his quiet strength, his stoic nature that intrigued you. michael, too, felt a strange pull towards you, though he didn't understand it.
months turned into a year, and your relationship became more complex. your feelings deepened, but Michael remained distant, cold. you wanted more from him, needed more. you had done everything you could to make him feel at home, to show him that he was safe with you, that he could trust you. but Michael remained closed off, distant.
he didn't allow you to touch him, rejected your attempts at affection. you obviously grew frustrated, longing for his touch, his love. you just wanted something in return. of course you understood it somehow. Michael was a lost, misunderstood soul, hated by everyone and he wasn't used to someone actually caring for him. but still you expected just a little bit of affection from him and the longing you felt for him grew stronger each day, and with it, your frustration.
Michael noticed your change in behavior but didn't understand the reasons behind it.
one night, you were sitting on the couch, a horror movie playing on the tv. you barely paid any attention to the film, your mind too preoccupied with the man sitting beside you. you glanced at him, his tall, imposing figure taking up most of the couch, his mask still in place. even with the mask on you found him so sexy, so attractive.
you couldn't take it anymore.
the need to feel him close, to know that he was real, that he cared for you in some way, was overwhelming. hell, you wanted his man to finally fuck you. you've been together for more than a year now and nothing sexual happened even in the slightest bit.
you scooted closer to him, trying to snuggle up against his side, but just as you feared, he pushed you away with slight force, a growl leaving his mouth.
as always.
"Michael..." you began, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and desperation. "I cant keep doing this."
he didn't respond, not even looking at you. his eyes kept fixated on the tv, but you could see the tension in his posture, the way his hands clenched into fists.
you stood up almost immediately, your frustration boiling over.
"you don't care, do you?" you snapped, tears welling in your eyes. "I've done everything for you! I've given you a home, cared for you, and I... I feel so much for you, but you just-" you broke off, voice catching in your throat. "I can't live like this, not with a relationship where I'm the only one who feels anything."
you turned to leave, the tears now spilling over, but before you could take a step, Michaels hand shot out, grabbing your wrist. you gasped, turning back to face him, your heart pounding strongly against your chest. he pulled you back, his grip firm but not painful, and for the first time, you saw something in his eyes that you hadn't seen before - a flicker of emotion, something raw and vulnerable.
then, to your shock, Michael reached up and slowly pulled off his mask.
your breath caught in your throat as you looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time. you had seen him unmasked before, on the night you met, but it was dark and everything happened so fast.
his face was scarred, rugged, and a white, trimmed beard covered it, but he was the most handsome man you had ever seen. there was a gentleness in his eyes that took you by surprise. you had expected coldness, detachment, but instead, you saw, regret, and something else - something that made your heart ache.
"Michael..." you whispered, voice trembling.
he obviously didn't reply, but the way he looked at you, the way his hand still held your wrist, told you everything you needed to know. slowly, cautiously, he pulled you even closer, until your faces where just inches apart. your heart raced, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you waited, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. you didn't fully understand what was happening and why Michael acted like that suddenly. but you weren't complaining in the slightest bit. that was exactly what you've wanted for longer than a year.
then, finally, he leaned in and captured your lips in a kiss. it was tentative at first, almost like he wasn't quite sure what to do, but when you responded, pressing your lips more firmly against his, he deepened it. the kiss was filled with a desperation, a need that had been buried deep within him for so long. one of his hands moved to your waist, pulling you on top of him, while the other one rested lazily on your thigh. and for the first time since you had met, you felt his warmth, his desire.
the heat began to pool in your panties, the whole situation was turning you on way too much. when his hand wandered from your waist to your ass and gave it a harsh squeeze, you gathered all your courage and began grinding down on him, feeling his bulge already pressing up into you. a muffled moan echoed off the walls, when your clothed clit rubbed deliciously against his erection. you could feel Michael tense up as well as his hand squeezed even harder and his breaths became heavier. you increased your speed and pulled away from his lips, head falling back in pleasure.
when you returned your hazy gaze back to him, he was already watching you like his prey. his expression was cold but his eyes were sparkling with lust and hunger. hesitatingly, you put your hands on his chest, slowly gripping the zip of his blue coveralls, pulling it down his chest. your hands felt the warm skin beneath it and held on tight to his shoulders.
but michael had other plans. he didn’t want to keep up your bullshit of preparation. with a tight grip on your waist he roughly manhandled you on your back. he crawled on top of you, grabbing the collar of your shirt as he tore it apart, making you gasp out in shock. he tossed it away before he quickly got rid of your bra. then, he ripped open your pants, adding it to the pile of clothes.
your heart was beating rapidly and the ache in your core started to get unbearable. you waited so long for this moment - too long.
“please michael.” you whimpered out as you pushed your hips up, signing him that you need more.
he grunted in response, getting up from the couch and pulling down his coveralls and boxers. your eyes almost fell out when you saw his length. it was thick, long and veiny. something so big you’ve never seen before. with the blink of an eye he was on you again. his hands grabbed your thighs, spreading them as wide as possible. you curiously propped yourself up on your elbows, as you watched him pushing your panties to the side.
as he saw your wet, glistening pussy, you could have sworn you saw him licking his lips. michael put both of his hands beside your arms, trapping you, before he lined his cock up with your entrance. your eyes searched for his and when he finally looked at you, he plunged his whole length inside your hole with one harsh thrust- his dick filling you to the brim and stretching you to your limit. a scream tore from your throat and your eyes were shut at the stretch. waves of stinging pain cursed through your whole body and your walls clenched tightly around him.
but michael wouldn’t let you get used to it. he isn’t that type of man.
as soon as he felt his tip kissing your cervix, he began to rut into you with a fast pace, never planning on going gentle. loud moans and cry’s filled the air as you tried to get used to his size which was almost impossible because of his harsh pounding. his hips just moved faster and faster, almost making you see stars.
“slow down michael.” you choked out as you lay back down again. in reply, michael surged forward and wrapped a calloused hand around your throat tightly, almost cutting off your airway. your eyes shot open at the sudden lack of air and you looked at him with pleading eyes. but michael didn’t show mercy. how could he have? he’s the shape of haddonfield. nobody gets to tell him what to do.
in a matter of seconds, michael had you up in a mating press, the new position allowing him to go deeper, his tip pressing against your g-spot deliciously. “oh fuck! you feel so good michael.” you yelled out, hands gripping on his arms for support. by now you were used to his size and all you experienced was pure pleasure. the both of you moaned out as he went in and out of your tight cunt. the hand that squeezed your throat now wandered down to your breast and kneaded it roughly, only adding to the intense sensations he’s giving to you.
michael let out a low growl, his thrusts becoming more desperate, chasing his own release. your nails dug sharply into his flesh and you slowly felt your orgasm building up. with his pelvis constantly clashing against your puffy clit, you only reached your high faster. “please michael let me come.” you pleaded, eyes rolling to the back of your skull.
suddenly he pulled out of you and before you could even comprehend it, he threw you on your stomach, ass up in the air. immediately, he reentered you, his thrusts just as harsh and fast as before. your face was mushed up against the couch, whimpers and high pitched moans leaving your lips. michael’s hands found their way to your hips, pulling your body roughly back, meeting his own thrusts.
this position made him go even deeper, rougher and when you felt his tip constantly brushing against your sweet spot, you tripped over the edge. a pornographic moan rang through the room as you came with such a great force, almost passing out from the intensity.
your orgasm made him go feral and he began to pound into you with an animalistic pace, inhuman even- to a point were it began to hurt. his hips snapped so harshly against your ass, you couldn’t take it anymore.
“too much. s-stop.” you begged, voice just above a whisper. with an answering growl, he aggressively gripped the roots of your hair and pulled your body up, forcing you to arch your back uncomfortably. a string of loud cry’s came out of your mouth and tears started to pour down your cheeks uncontrollably.
the loud sound of skin slapping against each other and the heavy smell of sex that lingered in the air, made your brain dizzy. your arms threatened to give out but michael pulled you now fully up against him, pressing his chest into your back.
the squeals and cry’s that came out of your mouth turned him on even more and the fact that you were experiencing pain, made him go crazy. if he would have known before that he could use you like this, he would have fucked you months ago.
after a few minutes of his relentless pounding you noticed his breaths getting louder, the grunts and growls he would let out here and there were also getting more intense, signing you he was almost reaching his high.
“cum inside me michael.” you managed to squeal out and in reply michael fucked into you with all his strength, hands grabbing your tits and teeth biting into your shoulder. with an animalistic growl, he finally let go and painted your walls with his white liquid. he continued to push in and out of you, fucking his cum deep inside of you.
you could barely hold your eyes open and your body was feeling like jelly. but then michael pulled out of your hole and you immediately fell back on the sofa. exhausted breaths came out of your mouth, trying to calm down from the intense fuck.
you felt his weight shifting on the couch and heard him getting dressed again. your eyes were still closed when he suddenly gripped your hair again and pulled your head up. he was bent down to your level and you saw something in his eyes you’ve never seen before.
“good girl.” he faintly whispered before releasing his grip and walking away. your mouth opened at his words and your brows furrowed.
you thought you were dreaming. for the first time ever michael spoke to you.
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HELL YEAHHH THE JOSH FANCLUB GROWS!!!
i feel like i should talk more about josh uhhh boyfailure of a man. personified dog sitting in the rain. he's so sad you have no idea (adele loves him though-i'm lying no she doesn't)
YAYYYY SAD FAILURE GUY 🙏🙏 BIG FAN ALREADY
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sohnric · 5 months ago
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THIS KITCHEN IS FOR DANCING – k. sunwoo
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you never knew a kitchen was more than just a place to cook in.
pairing: kim sunwoo x gn! reader
genre: established relationship au (omg who is she..), hurt/comfort, domestic, fluff, tiniest bit of angst. slice of life !!
warnings: hinting at dysfunctional families, the reader has unspecified mental issues
wc: 1.7k
listen to: matilda by harry styles
a/n: thank u sm sweetie pie @csenke for beta reading in such a short time 💞 also this is very loosely inspired by the book happy all the time by laurie colwin!
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this fic is dedicated to my best friend @from-izzy 🤍 I originally wanted to write you something else (as you may know), but I hope even this small thing translates just how much you mean to me. happiest birthday to you, i love you so much
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The apartment grows silent after everyone leaves and the door is shut behind them, the only sound accompanying your thoughts being the water running in the kitchen sink, the song lowly playing through the radio and your boyfriend’s occasional, quiet humming as he helps you dry off the dishes and put them away into their respective cupboards. Not a single word was shared between the two of you since the guests departed your new place, your thoughts running a thousand miles per hour, eyes hypnotizing the tap as you focus on washing off all the food and grease remains off your cutlery. Your brain is buzzing with the memories of the past couple of hours, each moment replaying in the back of your head once, twice before it moves to another one, trapping you in an endless cycle of motion bouncing against the walls of your skull.
You relive the whole evening again. 
The sound of the doorbell ringing, a yelled-out “Surprise!” landing into your ears as the little crowd materializes at your doorstep. The kisses pressed to your cheeks, the potted plant forced into your hands, the kettle your boyfriend’s sister drags inside and places onto your kitchen counter without even asking you, plugging it in. The image of your boyfriend’s dad pressing Play on your old, beaten-up radio, the grin he sends you as he admires your empty apartment. 
The bottle of wine your boyfriend puts into your hold when you finally find a place to put the plant down, the soft, apologetic smile sent your way as he kisses the corner of your mouth. The sight of 3 pairs of shoes waiting next to the door, the sound of their socked feet shuffling across the floor. 
The side-hug his mother brings you into, her sweet words landing into your ears. “You made it look so pretty and homey,” she says.
You reply that the apartment is still half-empty and looks a little naked. She tells you it’s nothing a few picture frames won’t fix, and his sister suggests getting a colorful rug for your living room to brighten the space up a bit. You nod to her words, taking them all in.
You’re not used to all of this. 
People visiting you, people throwing you a housewarming party. People caring enough about your comfort to bring you kitchen appliances you lack and asking you if there’s anything more you need that their son forgot to mention when they asked. 
You’re not used to so much care. So much tenderness. To a family so loving their care feels kind of overbearing to your small, fragile heart.
“Are you mad at me?” Sunwoo asks through the endless stream of your thoughts, making you look up from the kitchen sink. You forgot he was here– but then again, where would the dishes be magically disappearing into if not his hands?
The question shocks you. Not because you don’t expect him to ask– just because you don’t really expect your own answer.
“No,” you shake your head, voice a little hoarse. Your eyes burn with emotion, turning into water pools begging to be tipped over if you don’t pay enough willpower to make the streams stop. You bite at your lower lip.
It doesn’t help.
“Then why are you crying?” he asks.
There’s no use stopping it now. There’s no use refusing the apartment that’s now warm from the body heat it received from all the people visiting it this evening. There’s no use rejecting something you never knew you wanted– something you never knew you needed. 
“Look, I’m sorry. I know you said you didn’t want anyone to visit for a bit before you get used to the new apartment and all, and you also wanted to have it fully done before anyone else saw it, but my parents insisted, and–”
“Thank you,” you utter out silently, like a prayer, making him stop in his tracks.
It’s only been a few months since you and Sunwoo started dating. Right from the start, the boy knew it would be different with you. He wouldn’t say it was difficult– no, loving you has always been easy for him– but he knew that he had to have much more patience with you.
His love is patient when he listens to your requests and boundaries. When he listens to you cry and picks up your calls even in the middle of the night, staying up with you until early morning just so you wouldn’t feel alone during your sleepless moments. Sunwoo’s love is patient when he gently holds you and kisses you slowly, setting the pace just right. His love is patient when he helps you pick out an apartment that’s just right for you– with the right size, location, on the right floor, not once thinking of his own convenience.
He always listens– just not this once. 
Somehow, you can’t find it in you to be mad at him.
You used to think you wanted the world to be quiet for a while. To stop– to leave you alone so you could breathe. You wanted your own place for yourself– your own space, uninvaded by anyone else, stranded from any contact. You used to think you don’t want guests over or family members helping with the move– not that the effort was made anyways.
You used to think you wanted a place for one– a quiet nook to bring you comfort, four silent walls to make you calm. A bedroom to make you sleep soundly, a living room with nothing but a TV and a sofa to keep you company. A kitchen to make food and a table to eat it at before you get off for work. That’s what you wanted.
But after the evening is over and your boyfriend’s family leaves the walls echoing with laughter, the radio playing lowly in the background, tea made from the new kettle waiting on your coffee table, steam warming up the place with gentle cinnamon, your heart squeezes on itself at the realization of just how wrong you were.
Sunwoo turns the water off as he walks closer to you, enveloping you in a tight hug. Your hands are dripping water up to your forearms, making wet puddles glisten onto the tiles of your kitchen floor, yet he doesn’t mind stepping his socks in and having your arms sneak around his waist, all your built-up emotion releasing as he gently rocks you to the beat of the music in the background– action something akin to reaching for your soft, tender heart into your ribcage and gently holding it in his palms, protecting it and keeping it safe.
You never knew you were made for love like this. 
You never knew you wanted two pairs of arms holding you to them, the smell of Sunwoo’s cologne clogging up your nose. You didn’t know all you needed was his presence to doze off on evenings that are difficult– a garden in his soul made for you to sleep safely. You never knew the sound of his voice was enough to fight off thunder and make sunlight cut through the clouds, like the sweet chirping of birds waking up in the morning.
You never knew you wanted a place that’s a walking distance from your boyfriend’s– just in case either of you wanted to quickly come over. You didn’t know you wanted a bedroom with soft sheets in it to cuddle in with someone, beams of sunlight dripping into the space through the blinds in the mornings caused by the location of the windows being towards the east. You didn’t know you wanted a living room decorated with gifted house plants and picture frames filled with people you care for the most. 
You didn’t know that a kitchen is more than just a place to cook in. You now realize, amongst all the other things, that your kitchen is now also a space for shared meals, chatter and a bottle of wine opened after a long day at work. 
Sunwoo’s low voice keeps humming the familiar song into your ear, rocking you from side to side. The dishes are long forgotten and your worries disappear like the last remains of rain puddles left outside after a storm on a sunny day. 
The gentle, patient love Sunwoo has for you slowly slips into your heart, mending all the damaged pieces back together and opening up your eyes to so many more things you wanted to stay blind to. You were patient for long enough, though– and you finally see it, right there in front of you, tangible and believable– after all of the love you put out into the world selflessly, tirelessly, it finally came back to you.
And it will stay.
Your new apartment– although you live alone– is a place for love and kindness. A new chapter for new memories, each one brighter than the other. This place is for you to come back to after a long day to rest your limbs and soul in the quiet comfort of it all. This place is made for two people that turn a simple house into a home.
This kitchen is not just for cooking food and heating up leftovers over a cup of coffee during lunchtime. Kim Sunwoo and his endless love show you that a housewarming party is nothing to be scared of if you don’t have an anxious, quiet voice in your ear constantly telling you that there will always be people waiting on the side to somehow ruin your special day for you.
This kitchen is for whispered conversations over sleepy mornings during the weekday. This kitchen is for making pancakes after making love, two arms sneaking around your waist from behind, naked chest pressed against your back. This kitchen is for washing the dishes together, a smiley boy helping you with even the simplest task. This kitchen is for laughter when you burn an omelet or overseason your food, trying out new meals. This kitchen is for matcha in the evenings, a worried pair of eyes rushing you to sleep instead. 
This kitchen is for love trapped between four walls, with no way for it to get out and disappear into the wind.
But tonight, most of all, you realize–
This kitchen is for dancing.
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bigbigtruck · 1 month ago
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A non-comprehensive list of favorite songs that came out in 2024
Elbow, "Things I've Been Telling Myself For Years" [YOUTUBE] alt-rock Haven't been super thrilled by the past 2 or 3 Elbow albums but they're back in fine form with Audio Vertigo. Swinging for the bleachers, getting a little weird with it again, thank god. This one's got my favorite verses on the album: I'm the dashboard hula girl of nodding self-deception Here's to never accepting slight adjustment or correction... Of course I'll live to ninety-six and fix the welfare state I'll build a house with these two hands, my face above the gate I haven't paid for cabs or beers or met a cunt in twenty years Like all that outrun poverty, all I have was coming to me Things I've been telling myself for years
TWRP, "Content 4 U" [YOUTUBE] pop Highly danceable, highly relatable. First heard this on the Digital Nightmare tour this spring. After shaking my ass and giggling into the April night air, the lyrics sink in and I'm doing that dead eyed Lisa Simpson stare at the pavement because yeah that's. That's trying to live from any creative hustle in this bitch of a 21st century. Excellent work, boys, I hate it. I love it.
St. Vincent, "Big Time Nothing" [YOUTUBE] alt-pop What's the big deal this is just "Numb" over the bass line from "Army of Me" with a little Laurie Anderson and Talking Heads thrown in and wait hold up this rules
Oranssi Pazuzu, "Muuntautuja" [YOUTUBE] (link fixed!) prog/psych/black metal Goes hard and slow. A pulsating, hypnotic onslaught of black smoke and sandpaper. The whole album's incredible but this is probably my favorite track.
Kendrick Lamar, "Euphoria" [YOUTUBE] hip hop I mean, it's Kendrick Lamar. Dude's a fuckin Godzilla across the musical landscape. "Not Like Us" was the splashier hit of the summer, but this is the one that stayed with me. (Listening again while writing this and. Jesus, It's... it's 6 solid minutes of sticking your hand right on a hot burner.)
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, "Antarctica" [YOUTUBE] southern rock A fun (ironically) warm summer jam that fuckin blew the doors off live. Easily my fave from their most recent album.
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, "Wild God" [YOUTUBE] alt-rock/symphonic Really sneaks up on you, like a mumbly guy in the coffee shop. What's he writing? "Moving through your body like a prehistoric bird?" Huh, Looks intriguiOH HOLY SHIT HE HAS A CHORUS WITH HIM.
John Grant, "All That School for Nothing" [YOUTUBE] alt-pop/funk John Grant's got this particular nasty (complimentary) streak, a deep-seated gay cynicism that reminds me of Hidden Cameras at their best, but with more lush and varied instrumentals. His lyrics are always tops, and this one's no exception. The whole album, The Art of the Lie, is great, with "Marbles" being another delight.
Ninja Sex Party, "Let's Save The Earth" [YOUTUBE] comedy pop Feels silly to put this one in alongside the rest, but... I mean it's NSP. They do goofs, not a poetic dissection of the zeitgeist. I actually heard this one on tour in Fall 2022 and it brought the house down--I might actually prefer it live with audience participation TBH. This has become me and Brett's karaoke go-to.
A.G. Cook, "Soulbreaker" [YOUTUBE] electronic Deceptively simple chord progression becomes healing, memorable. The animated video for this is essential viewing, IMO. Wild art style and cool concept. This song makes me feel like things might turn out okay.
Elbow, "Balu" [YOUTUBE] alt-rock Probably my most played track of the entire year. Apparently this is a semi-fictional tribute to a beloved cousin or nephew? Once again back with the incredible lyrics. Probably my favorite line of the entire year: I'll never be home without you, but I'll never grow in your shadow. Anyway that bass/keyboard line is sending me to the center of the galaxy
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