#last year wouldbe love this

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Sometimes your posts are very Vonnegut-esque, I love you please never change

omg...i love u thanku i rly admire him so this flatters me ^//^ tbh i did not know much about him or his work until very recently. And i find it hard to get into novels. but as i started reading one of his last year it felt kind of uncanny like the structure and prose as well as subject matter and use of humor...it felt like listening to my own train of thought... it kind of freaked me out :0 because usually when i read someone else's writing it's like i'm taking a break from my own mind. Yet this was not the case. i felt he must have mercury in scorpio so i looked it up and he does, (since its my own placement i can spot it easily in others).

i always loved writing like it has forever been pouring out of me even as a kid i just funnelled it into neopets roleplays and the like...it wouldbe impossible for me to ever change this ^-^ But i guess i never thought of myself as someone who could be called a "Writer" because of my unrefined style. after reading some vonnegut i started to feel a bit differently about that.. ooo now im inspired to read more thanks for the reminder anon.💜

[castielsparkle]

I'm so jealous of your dad I got my mom into supernatural and obsessed with cas but she was soo confused when I even mentioned there being gay undertones. And she thinks dean's annoying 😕

/!!3?2$2; that is so crazy to me because . well. ok let me explain. my mom personally is evil and insane and when i was like 12 i would tell her about youtuber rpf and like. she is actively homophobic however she was a legit truther about youtube rpf ships which is. an entire thing. not an rpf guy btw need this to be known . not a fan. not about it whatsoever. actively disdain for it. Moving on. she still talks abt that stuff to this day. unprompted. despite being lgbtphobic love and light. MOVING ON. my dad literally like..... We did Not ask him to fucking do this . he started watching spn and anytime its on tv around him he starts going off about his gay dean truthing and how like. he doesnt subscribe to him being bi hes of the belief dean is a gay man. he also vibes with dean beinng a trans dude. he will make a comment about this at any opportunity . dean scene where hes like 'my boobs are real' cue my father unprompted immediately talking abt top surgery dean . hes insane. he says he is quote 'indifferent' abt trans dean headcanon. he says hes also quote 'indifferent' abt gay and bi dean however he 'sure does act gay with cas' which . is really fucking funny to me bc he put on a destiel compilation on youtube (?? did not fucking ask him to . i wanted to watch the 'deans gay thing' scene) and then it ended up being him critiquing fan compilations of deans behaviors and he even starts bringing up like . 'remember that time he looked at that guys ass in like the 50s' or whatever. like to prove there were better portrayals of dean being gay than in the destiel fan compilations on yourube. my god. he said yesterday separately to both me and my older brother about how he (my dad not dean) is like if gay was a gender and not a sexuality. not unpacking all that rn. but he said it to me when we were watching destiel compilation he put on and he had my older brother back him up abt how he said it earlier GSHJF. i dont remember whrte i was going w this. oh yeah. further context i am his only bio child ever . my older brother is found family we met like five years ago and he moved in w us at the end of last yr. bc dad offered. and before that he offered to move in my other bestie who i went to hs with who ive known for approx four years now and like . we are all trans guys btw. he offered to pay for our t if we set up ghe shit w insurance (this is happening rn i literally got my first t shot yday‼️) ANYWAYS.... all of this to say. my dad is always saying shit about jow destiel are gay or whatever. hes insane. no clue why. he insisted that like Yeah No its not even undertones is so blatant and overt that hes gay . he will say stuff like 'im not a fangirl i dont have headcanons' (insane sentence to hear btw) if u ask him directly abt it when were not watching spn bc it 'stays reserved for when were watching the show' but also like he will just. he. will say things. so much.

edit requests my dad has given me courtesy of my roomie from when they watch spn. in the car on the way to the store tonight he (my father) told me ANOTHWR idea he had which was when cas tried to speak to dean in lazrising and shatters all the glass and shit and hes like . quote. itd be a meme with the caption like 'autistic me not being able to control the volume of my voice.' which yeah. fire image idea. love it. he just says shit. hes always talking about how gay dean is and how detiel is real sorry i know this sounds like fucking down with cis bus and oppa homeless stylw and ahit i literally promise u im being so fucking for real. the first con i ever went to my dad took me and he dressed as naruto bc he doesnt 'kin' naruto but he says if he did kin it wouldbe naruto and pinkie pie . he also is obsessed w weird al. he knows rhat pinkie pie and weird al are married and have a child. he makes. interesting comments abt it when he talks abt how he would kin pinkie pie if he had to kin a my little pony. sorry this got way off the fucking rails. he also twitch streams twice a week. ive never watched sherlock but he did back in the day when it was popular. we also both watched doctor who together. sorry this got so divorced from ur ask anon my dad also got divorced he loves divorce. okay im so sorry im done now . also he says that sam is annoying sometimes

WDIT: SO FUCKING SORRY i forgot to add my dad said he quote 'kind of' would endorse this compilation . https://youtu.be/4McX1GUE3K8 he felt fairly positive about it.

[skoulsons]

TLOU ep6 | I did not fix these up at all, so have fun reading any and all misspellings and parts where it looks like my brain is melting (it was)

FIDHEOFHSKDVim so excited

he’s so pretty

“What did I just say?” grumpy lil dad with his disobeying daughter

Joel’s having ptsd :( cant wait to get more of this throughout the episode :) not.

he really thinks he lost the last of his blood

this feels very reminiscent of when he gets injured. Later this episode??

(Light guitar playing) my love <3

“Don’t start” 😭

THE RABBIT CONVERSATJON. they rlly are bonding

the tape over his foot :( just like Tess

COME DOWN FEOM THERE YOURE GONNA BRRAK TOUR NECK

YEAHHHH HES GIVING HER SOME. HES GOT A LIL SMILEEEE

“Okay?” 😭

OH ITS WE ?? :((

an old farmhouse some land :(( just like tlou2

SHEEP THEURE QUIET DO WHAT THEYRE TOLD. sooo tlou2 coded

them acting like they’re going their separate ways 🤣🤣🤣

ASTRONAUT. he could just tell :(

I love this little campfire with them

ILL DO BOTH WATCHES GET SOME SLEEP DREAM OF SHEEP RANCHES ON THE MOON

IS HE SAYINF ITS SHPPOSED TO BE ME OH MY FUCODHENDHDJEDH

IM RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU OKAY

LIKE YOU TAUGHT ME TO

aw it’s like the same when he took the beretta from her in ep4 THE SHOT IS SO SIMILAR WITH HIS HAND OUT BUT ITS NOT AS ANGRY THIS TIME

the glances :(

wake me up next time <3

NOT HER TRYING TO WISTLE 😭😭

TALENTTTT

they’re just so so tiny.

and to know she has to hunt to keep him alive next episode

THEYRE DOIJF THR HYDROELECTRIC PLANT??? WAIT???

“Don’t ask me I don’t have a clue” YOU COULDBE MADE SOMETHING UP I WOULDBE BELIEVED YOU

THERE THEY AREEEEEE

him grabbing her wrist <333333333

YOULL BE OKAY MY GOGHDJDGD I LOVE REASSURANCES

oh look a puppo

oh no he’s gonna smell it

JOELS OANICKING????

oh good we’re good okay we’re good

oh wow the outside wall looks so good

Oh man jackson looks so so so good

gosh this is so great

HER LOOKING BACK AT JOEL CAUSE SHES SMILING

TOMMYYYYYYYY

OH LOOK AT JOELS FACE

TOMMYS LAUGH

look at Ellie :(( she’s never seen him so happy or hug someone

HIS SMILR MY FODHEKFHEKDV LOOK AT HIM SMILE LOOK AR MY SWEET LITTTLR BLORBO

JOEL APOLOGZING FOR ELLIE. LETS MIND OUR MANNERS

“WHATS WRONG WITH YOU” 😭😭

“Ellie!” He’s so frustarted 😭😭

sometimes he sounds like such a texan it’s hilarious

JOEL SAY CONGRATS. CONGRATS.

seven years ago wow

CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW NO HE CANT

SHEEEEEEP

oh so they have a council

300 people? Wow

SO UH COMMUNISM

SHIMMER NO WAY NO WAY

EMPTY HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET

“We’ve been doing fine”

“Joel” “you’ll be fine” much like the game in the hydroelectric plant

“You on the other hand”

BACON PSHOOO

so how’s Tess :( SHES FINE. ALRIGHT.

ANS THE KID?? OH YEAH. AHES THE DAUGHTER OF SOME FIREFLY MUCKETY MUCK.

U OF EC

weeks ride south ok

it’ll be easy for us

WHAT CAUSE TOUR WIFI WONT LET YOU. SHE KEPT HIM OFF THE RADIO??

am I the wrong people :(

and I don’t judge you for it. We survived the only way we knew how. But there were other ways we just didn’t know how

IM GONNA BE A FATHERS. A FEW MONTHS ALONG. WRITE ON THIS?!

Fuck

I FEEL LIKE ID BE A GOOD DAD

GUESS WELL FIND OUT

JUST BECAUSE LIFE STOPPED FOR YOU. SARAH BEINF LIFE. WRITE ON THISSSSS

yeah this is Christmas time isn’t it cause it’s September.when they met?? oooh he must be reminded so much of old Christmas with Sarah

oh not the little girls. HE PROBABLT BENT DOWN AND HUGGED SARAH JUSF LIKE THAT

unless they’re pulling the whole Alyssa card??

A NOTE WITH IM ACTOSS THE STREET 😭😭

THEY HAVE RANCH ARGUMENT IN HERE?????

even her sweater is similar to ranch argument wow

their house is blue how cute

OH WOW A BOARD FOR SARAH?? Ans kevin??

“World class salons” 😭

AWWW SHE GETTING A HAIRCUT

“I put bad guys in jail”

FUCK SHE DOESNT KNOW ABOUT SATAH

FUCK RUCK FUCK

SARAH WAS JOELS FAUGHTER

FUCK

“I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS HIM A LITTLE” THATS WHAT I SAIDDDDD

picture picture please picture

she really doesn’t trust him at all. But Ellie does and she doesn’t believe Maria’s word

they really got a while movie theater

WORK BENCH

are we having another argument

new boots :(

the way he’s holding his hands is giving major nervous vibes

“I shouldn’t have said what I said” - just like Joel last episode

“It’s complicated for you. And I’m sorry”

Is it a suicide mission?

HE LOOKS SO TINY 🤏🏻🤏🏻

“She’s immune”

THE WAY HE SAID ELLIE FEELS SOOOOO GAMEJOEL

“SHES IMMUNE” HE LOKKS SOOOOOOO

Below is the root of my mental illness.

“Tess got bit. She made me swear to take the kid. It was her dying wish, what was I supposed to do? WE MADE IT AD FAR AS KC AND THEN YNOW !SHE SAVED MY LIFE THERE! FROM ANOTHER KID. FIVE YEARS AGO I WOULDVE DESTRYOED HIM. BUT SHE HAD TO SHOOT HIM TO SAVE ME. FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. BECAUSE I WAS TOO SLOW AND TOO FUCKING DEAF TO HEAR HIM. THEN I SAW A MAN KILL HIS OWN BROTHER. **he’s crying whatfuckfuck** TO SAVE HER WHILE INJUST WATCHED. AND TODAY I THOUGHT THAT DOG WAS GONNA TEAR HER APART BECAUSE IT SMELLED SOMETBINF ON HER. AND ALL INDID WAS STAND THERE. I **COULTN MOVE** I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING EXCPET JUST. I WAS SO AFRAID. ANS HIS DHAKY BREATH. WHAT THE FUCK. IM NOT WHO INWAS. IM WEAK. ***LATELY THERE ARE THESE MOMENTS WHERE FEAR COMES UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND MT HEART FEELS LIKE ITS STOPPED. I HAVE DREAMS. EVERY NIGHT. INDONT KNOW. I CANT REMEMBER. I JSUF KNOW THAT WHEN I WAKE UP IVE LOST SOMETHING. IM FAILING IN MY SLEEP. ITS ALL I DO. ITS ALL IHE EVER DONE IS FAIL HER AGAIN AND AGAIN. ****IM JUSF GONNA GER HER KILLED I KNOW IT***

******I HAVE TO LEAVE HER****

WELL HERES TOUR FHANVE TO BRING YOUR KID INTO A BETTER WORL. YOURE TOUNGER THAN ME YOURE ATILL STRONG. YOU SAID IT YOURSELF YOULL COME BACK. YOU HAVE TO TSKE HER AND THE CRYINF AND THR SHAKY BREATH FUCKSHDNFIFJ

he loves her so much ellie. got it’s written all over his face. he loves her SO MUCU AND HE CANF DO IT

“They’ll shoot her” AND THE BOICD CRACK WAYT FCUKC. HE THREATENEE TO SHOOT HER EVERY SCENE AND NOW??;?);?4)?;!:?;?

IFS THE LAS THING ILL EVER ASK OF YOU. I SAEAR.

thr fucking falling tear you’re fucking joking. LET HIM BE FUCKING HAPPY.

he’s literally shaking.

I’ll take her out at dawn.

hea gonna go say goodbye and they argue that’s what happens right.

the slow walk up. fuck duck fuck fuck tuck

“Ellie?

if you’re gonna ditch me ditch me

I HAVE TO LEAVE HER TOU HAVE TO TAKE HER

I MADE THIS DECISION FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

DO YOU GIHR A SHIT ABOUT ME OR NOT. OF COURSE I DO WAHT THR FUCK.

the slight face change at ‘her’. wow.

IM AFRIAD OF LOSINF YOUUUU

THE SNIFFLE. HEBDOESNT WANT TO DONTHIS

WRITE ON ALL OF THIS WRITE ON ALL ODNTHIS

Joel :(((

FLASHBACKL WHATDBS FUCKC

you can really see his nose scar wow

SARAH :((

so this is what they were talking about.

NOT HIM CRUINF FUCK OFF HES CRIED SOMKUCU TOFAY

HOW DOES HE TAKE HER HAXK HOW DOES HE TAKE HER BACK HOWWWW WE DOIN IT

is Joel here.

YEAH.

SNIFFLES ANYWAY.

YOU DESERVE A CHOICE. LETS GO.

that was fast 😭

Helping her up 😭😭

the eye close :(

BOTH OF YOU BTHERES A PLAGE HERE

LOOK HOW HAPPT SHE IS

ADIOS BIG BROTHER 😭😭

HER HANDS AROUKD HIS MIDDLE HER HANDS AROUKD HIS MIDDLE HER HANDS AROUND HIS MIDDLE

AWWWWWWWWWWWW

This is so fuckinf cute.

GOU DICK

HIS SMILE

FUCKI

I just did my job. WHIHC WAS BUILDING

SINGER???

THATS PRETTY COOL

HER CHEEK AGAINST HIS BACK HER CHEEK AGAISNF HIS FBSKDHEKHDKHD HER CHEESL AGAISNF HIS BACK AND HIS SMILE

THE FOOTBALL CONVERSATION

“But violent” 😭

we end on his injury don’t we

HIS LITTLE SMILES AT HER

“One step closer to you dream”

“Sort of adults”

WHATTHEY WANTED TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES THSTS FROM THR GAMEEEE

I WANGWS RO BE A SINGER. YOURE ALREADY ALIGHING. YOURE SIGNING FOR Me later. ITS THE LEAST YOU CAN DO FAIR ENOUGH.

FIRST TIME SEEIN A MONKEY IN THR GAMMEEEE

“Lookit” <3

this set looks so good

oh wow even that’s from the game oh wow

oh I can’t wait for the Instagram edits of these two after this episode

HIS GACE WHEN SHE SAIS THEY TURNED INTO MONKEYS

RAIDERSSSSS

THE HEADBUTT

YEAHHHB CHOKE HIM OUR JOEL

YEAHHHH CRACK HIS BECK JOEL FUCK YEAH

FUCK BE DUD IMPALE HIM STILL MY GOD

GOGOGOGOGOGO

JOEL OPEN YOUR EYEW OPEN YOUR EYES YOU GOTTA GET UP I CANF GET SO THIS WIRHOUT YOU INDONT KNOW WHWRE IM GOING

JOEL PLEASE JOEL PLEASE

IM TAKINF A RIDE WITH MY BEST FRIEND

[the-algebra-thing]

god I Freaking love clearsight I missed her so much. lord in fucking heaben. oh my goodness

I haven't read darkstalker in years and years and years I feel like, or else I've just made so much untangling progress since the last time I did (or honestly maybe just since my diagnosis appt), that it is all so much clearer to me now. wings of fire more often than anything else is CRAZY to have read when I still lived with my mom and to reread now because when I first read all of these I didn't understand my connections to or affinites for certain characters at all. I just knew of their presence, and somehow of their importance, and could do little more than tell you they were there.

if you had asked me why I loved clearsight so much when I was in eighth grade I would've said something about how awesome she was and how she was always so focused on making sure she was doing what she needed to be doing according to what her power told her. I mostly thought it was really cool how good she was at it and how it helped to keep her safe and drive the plot. if you asked me now why I have always loved clearsight so much I wouldbe able to talk about how at that age I instinctually and obsessively kept a finger on the pulse of not just my mother's changing moods and how they affected the consequences of my words and actions in her presence down to a hairs width, but on the changing moods of every social situation and authority figure, because it was what I had learned and I thought the dire consequences of my mother's insecurity waited for me around every corner. I relied on pattern recognition all based on stuff I had learned from her. and I wasn't yet able to make the distinction between my mother and the world, so it was all the same thing to me: stay in the know about the vibe = stay in control of your happiness and safety.

I'm realizing upon rereading for the nth time that clearsight's obsessive planning and comparing of her notes and visions to her real life echoes how my mind worked in middle school scary accurately. this is what I clocked, although not in nearly so many words, when the book came out in 2016; this is why darkstalker was my favorite wings of fire book right up until read the dangerous gift a year or two ago. this is what I mean when I say that kids nitpicking wings of fire world building and plot online have lost sight of what the point is. that shit actually genuinely changed my life in middle school. I felt understood, in an underlying and all-encompassing way I didn't understand, which made me feel safer—neither of which were feelings that were in any sort of good supply for me at the time.it is tilting my world on its axis rn that I was lucky enough to find this when I was young and needed it so badly

[lorelodge]

laszlo & nadja !

x

Who brings up marriage first?

The topic of marriage was brought up pretty early on. Possibly in the first week or two of knowing each other. At first it wasn't a question of IF they wanted to get married but rather were either married to begin with (they weren't). Seeing as how this was atypical of the time the natural follow up question was why and the ball sorta rolled on from there. But it wasn't brought up again until a few weeks later when Laszlo blurted out a proposal in the throes of their love making. Nadja wanted to get married very early on but also wanted to be sure it was Laszlo's idea and Laszlo knew he wanted to marry her very early on but chose to wait until he knew her better because her lifestyle was very nontraditional.

do they have a big wedding or a small wedding? 

Their wedding is...smallish, I guess. It basically consisted of Baron's cult members. Nadja's family was long gone and Laszlo's sucked ass so there probably weren't more than 30 people there and of those 30 Laszlo knew barely any by name. Neither really cared though. It could have been a room of 500 strangers and all would have been okay so long as they were marrying each other.

do any of them take the other’s last name or do they keep their own? hyphenate them?

In canon Nadja remains without a surname but in most other modern verses she takes on Laszlo's.

who sings bad karaoke at the wedding reception party?

Baron. Lol. But he's the boss so everyone is forced to sit there and suffer in silence. And maybe Nadja? She has a nice voice but her style is very old fashion. It would depend on the song.

what’s their song?

Something they wrote together which was then stolen and popularized by Marvin Gaye called Sexual Healing.

are their rings fancy?

Bold of you to assume they exchanged rings. Laszlo used to his signet ring to propose to her and Nadja gave him an old locket, one of her few remaining possessions from her time as a mortal. Laszlo surprised her with an actual diamond ring when they exchanged vows which is what she currently wears. He has a simple gold wedding band which may have something engraved on it depending on the verse, but it's the locket he wears every day.

who’s the one who walks out of the room with a bat at night when they hear a noise? 

In canon it's Guillermo and it's not a bat but a stake. Lol. But in modern it's usually Nadja because Laszlo grew up rich and with a security system and has never felt the need to look over his shoulder when he walked down the street. Nadja is the one who has lived in bad neighborhoods and has probably clobbered at least one wouldbe robber with a baseball bat.

While living with Jack, Laszlo did think their house was being broken into once and took a swing at Jack who was climbing through the window after having locked himself out of the apartment and didn't realize someone was home.

what dumb things do they argue over?

They don't really argue as in yelling back and forth. It's more... bickering, I suppose. And it's always over stupid shit. Lol. Is the Earth a sphere or a cylinder? Are ghosts real? What do you mean you mistook Lilith for me?! The witchskin hat is cursed (no it's not!) Nadja still thinks gravity may be a lie. If they're collaborating over music they'll be at each others throats like two bitchy cats on a rainy day. The list is endless and it's all dumb.

how do they greet each other when the other arrives home?

Nadja greets Laszlo like a dog seeing its long lost owner. Laszlo greets Nadja like a soldier coming back from war.

do they celebrate anniversaries?

In canon they might celebrate decades rather than years. They definitely celebrate every 100 years of marriage. But they're immortal and time is an illusion. In modern Laszlo is not great at remembering anniversary dates and doesn't see the point in celebrating a marriage once a year.

[nexility-sims]

32, 33, & 34 💗

𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐐𝐬  /   accepting !

answering these 1784986093 years later .... thanks for sending ❤️ 

edit: you didn’t specify so i just. decided to make these abt alf and ro.

𝟑𝟐. 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬? 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐝?

so, first of all, i think they have mutual acquaintances, which is how they ended up at the same party initially ! that being said, rowena’s Scene and alf’s don’t really overlap beyond that ... obviously, for reasons beyond basic geography, lmao. i have a tendency to hyper-focus on protagonists and exclude their friends, so i hope to flesh them out more soon plus the ones y’all have so generously created for the wedding; shoutout to those who’ve given me permission to use them afterwards too !!! for now, i know rowena’s two closest friends are … bewildered but excited for her. they know she’s wild and impulsive, but also that she wouldn’t get herself involved in something like this if she wasn’t serious about it. her devil-may-care attitude does not extend to #feelings. 

alfonso’s friends, meanwhile, probably have a more conservative take on it … i mean, his relationship with rowena is also VERY out of character, so they’re likely like “what’s this witch doing to you bro” but djdhdksk everyone knows him to be quite level-headed and cautious, so taking a risk like this similarly means he’s serious abt it. there’s also the fact that he’s been a widower and pretty much alone for the last decade, so i think there’s also a bit of a sigh of relief. everyone’s also like “this is why you didn’t like that Nice Girl i tried to set you up with ... you don’t like nice girls !!!!!!” 

so … everyone’s hoping for the best but perhaps a lil perplexed about it all. cautiously optimistic. gently worried. cheerfully troubled. ksdfjdghkjk

𝟑𝟑. 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬?

i don’t imagine either of them are particularly jealousy-prone? that being said … i imagine the main way this would manifest wouldbe people connecting with their respective partner in a way they feel themselves less capable of doing. so, for rowena, it’s part of feeling like she isn’t his intellectual match; for alfonso, it’s part of being concerned he can’t be the excitement she needs in her life. fleeting jealousy, we’ll say, rather than the sort that takes root and destroys a relationship. they have external factors to do that part for them :^) 

𝟑𝟒. 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞?

all of them !!!! i mean, it’s not really evident yet, but they do come to realize that they have something precious that shouldn’t exist between themselves, and that they get to see aspects of each other no one else does ... so, an elemnt of that is, i think, recognizing certain vulnerabilities and fragilities in each other that others might overlook or dismiss. 

that being said ... alfonso is the more protective of the two, but i suspect that’s because he knows rowena doesn’t understand The Family Maxim marrow-deep like everyone else because she came from a loving family full of people in love, despite her own hang-ups 

[rebellion-star]

[Spoiler Free Review] Hanayaka Nari, Waga Ichizoku

All images were taken from the official website.

Since I really enjoyed writing my first review, I’m back with another one~ This one will be a bit shorter.

General information

Title : Hanayaka Nari, Waga Ichizoku (華ヤカ哉、我ガ一族)

Developer : Ichi Column & Vingt-et-un. Systems Corporation

Publishers : Idea Factory & Otomate

Platform : PSP

Release Date (MM/DD/Y) : 07/01/2010

Length : +50 hours (slow reading)

Age Rating : Cero B (+12)

I think there are still people playing this game even if it’s quite old since Otomate keeps porting it to different platforms (PSVita and Nintendo Switch). I got myself the PSP version.

Story

Our protagonist, Haru, comes from a poor background and starts working as a maid at the Miyanomori mansion to support her family. She meets the six Miyanomori brothers – each born from a different mother.

It does sound pretty fun at first for Haru who used to work at a factory. However, she quickly understands that it is not going to be an easy task - especially with those brothers who treat her like garbage.

A short while after she starts working, the head of the family, Genichirou, announces that he’s going to retire and therefore needs to chose the next head. He challenges all his sons to entertain him and collect points: the first one to reach ten points will be chosen...

(Check vndb for another summary)

The characters

About the heroine

Her personality was pretty common : she’s a clumsy airhead, and an idiot (to be very blunt) One might think that this is the ultimate combo to make a character annoying. Nonetheless, I found her very cute. Her design also meets my taste (I love braids hehe). I love characters who try their best no matter how hard they are struggling. Moreover, her personality was a great contrast with most LIs’, and allowed funny and adorable dynamics.

Miyanomori Tadashi : (34) Serious megane dude x ore-sama x oldest son

(CV : Miyauchi Atsushi)

He lives to work and works because he likes working (this man HAS NO LIFE).

I’m usually not into those guys who look stuck up because I want spicy development. However, he was unexpectdly awkward, which resulted in hilarious relashionship development with Haru, especially in the good ending (I swear I cracked on my bed like a psycho).

I!! Like!! Dense!! and!! pure!! Ossans!! (hey Nanase Izuki ⊂(･ω･*⊂) )

He was kinda harsh with Haru at first and didn’t trust her at all but he gradually opens up and listens to her troubles as a maid.

His route dealt with themes such a friendship and social status. It didn’t reveal anything about the Miyanomori family...

Tsundere rating : 1.5/5

Is this character dense ? yes / no

Mom rating ; Sumida Sanae : 0/5 I didn’t like her :((

Isami : (31) military x tsundere #1 x idiot

(CV : Tasaka Hideki)

Heyyy it’s the first tsundere!! His relationship unfolds almost the same as Tadashi : tough at first, sweet by the end. 

It was hilarious how his personality did a 180 : from  tsundere to absolute idiot sweetheart. However, I have to say that I was sometimes bothered by what he was saying as it was borderline manipulative when he wanted to sound sweet... HMM...

Except that, his route was well balanced.

Tsundere rating : 3.5/5

Is this character dense ? yes / no

Mom rating ; Honjouin Toki : 2.5/5 (She was okayish?)

Shigeru : (26) crossdresser x carefree x teenage crisis

(CV : Maeda Takeshi)

I’ll go straight to the point : I don’t like him  (；⌣̀_⌣́)

This might be a bit spoilery but I found him very childish even though he is 26. His relationship with his dad is terrible but that doesn’t justifiy how annoying he is. He also had a lot of “what is this feeling?” trope during his route, and I felt like it wasn’t handled the way I like it. The two previous bros also took quite a long time before noticing how they felt about Haru but at least they were cute trying to figure out...

Tsundere rating : 0/5

Is this character dense ? darn yes / no

Mom rating ; Yasuda Shizuko  : 2.5/5 (I honestly have no opinion about her so I’m just going to give her a the average mark)

Susumu : (22) good boy x dense x angst

I liked him since the beginning because he is the only guy who has always treated Haru like a humain being, unlikes his brothers!!

I thought he would be a good boy whose route wouldbe fluffy and tame... I’ve got it all wrong. He is not that kind... He’s willing to make huge sacrifices for the sake of his beliefs.

I think he has quite a weird relationship with his friend, but no complaints since all the drama was necessary for Susumu to realize his own feelings.

I can’t say anymore because of spoilers huhh

Tsundere rating : 0/5

Is this character dense ? HE IS DARN DENSE / no

Mom rating ; Ariyoshi Fumiko : 4.5/5 (she was very supportive but a bit of an airhead)

Hiroshi : (18) childish x creative x growth

He’s that cute and happy guy in otome games who likes playing pranks on others...

He’s only 18 and yet, I feel like he has grown so much in his route (unlike SHIGERU). He was very pure and assertive. I was glad that there was finally a guy open about his feelings. His childish side didn’t bother me at all since it was to be expected from the previous routes.

I loved how the ending and his decisions showed that he had grown to be a fine man. His character development was the best imo.

That glow up five years later tho...

Tsundere rating : 0/5

Is the character dense ? yes / not really / no

Mom rating ; Saeki Yoshi : 4.5/5 (!!!spoiler!!! : I liked the fact that his mom accepted his relationship with Haru)

Masashi : tsundere #2 x sharp tongue x clever

What a brat. What a smart brat. I have mixed feelings about this character. I like and hate him at the same time XD stop insulting me

Although he keeps calling Haru an ‘idiot’ (because he’s such a tsundere), he grows fond of her  (´･ᴗ･ ` ) He knows nothing about love, and because of some minor *incident* he thought that he had to take responsibility and marry the heroine lmao

Anyway, the latter half of his route is drama with his father (actually, everybody got drama because of Genichirou, that prick) that he handled pretty well despite the fact that he’s the youngest. Playing him last before the secret character makes a lot of sense, as it completely exposes the character’s identity and objectives).

Tsundere rating : 5/5 (I’ll give him a Tsundere Award)

Is the character dense ? yes / HE IS DARN SHARP??? (I was impressed during that one scene where he carefully used his brain to understand what was going on, unlike his older bros)

Mom rating ; Imura Chiyoko : 0/5 (worst mom ever)

Secret character : (???) double-faced x and no more tag because I can’t think of non-spoilers

I can only say I liked the secret character, even though I would have liked to see less angst... That will probably come in the fandisc...

My character ranking : Hiroshi > Susumu > Secret Character > Tadashi = Isami = Masashi > Shigure 

I really liked them all though ;;; (except Shigeru *coughs*)

Cons

Long common route, which feels tedious to skip when changing routes.

Bad resolution on PSP

Each route follows more or less the same pattern

Pros

Animated backgrounds and lip-sync (even though this game is from 2010 ?!!!)

Large cast of suitors, you’ll eventually find one you like

Very cute optional “quest” system

The bottom line

I kinda regret not getting the Vita port for high res CGs *cries* Since I started playing on PSP, I’ll probably buy the other games on PSP.   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I can positively recommend this game to anybody. I think it has everything: plot, fleshed-out characters, funny moments, action, mystery, angst… and romance of course. I was pleasantly surprised by the dynamic between the brothers since I thought they would be at each other’s throat to become the heir. Turns out I was wrong (phew!) and it is actually the complete opposite. Their bickering was truly heart-warming ~

[drdelicatetch2]

Love and Jealousy Chapter 1 : Death, Anger, Beauty.

The saddest tale you ever heard, with the death of ones before

(John tells the story)

Death, Anger, Beauty.

When the red queen died it was karkat, only 5 years old at the time who found her and in her last moments she wrote a note to her beloved husband, King Cratious S. Vantas II and her most treasured son, Karkata Cratious Vantas III. Her writing was blurred and smudged with blood but, she wrote it out of love.

The king was devastated and karkat, he had a rage in him I had never seen before. I only knew him through our fathers as he would accompany his father on many a trip to our kingdom. But he was always so quiet because you see even though he was born a boy being born a troll made him have two genders and he could choose how to dress, talk, and wear but he had to choose whether to be a full fledge female troll which can carry and feed young, or a male troll which could also carry but not feed young and so he chose the male status. He would one day bare children and raise them with his partner; but this was something different, he did not get to choose if his mother lived or died, he did not get to choose to see her in the morning again, hug her or even say I love you one last time, no he found her dead and when he came to the funeral I never knew anyone who could cry and look absolutely emotionless but I saw it, the anger in his eyes and in his bleeding fist.

“We are here to honor our great and beautiful queen, Agaria Analle Vantas, she was sadly taken from us, her people, and husband, King Vantas II along with their young son, Prince Vantas III” the preacher spoke.

“She has left a note to read allowed to her husband and son” the preacher said and began to read

“My dearest husband, I never thought this day would come so soon, only a short time with you and I have to go. I will miss you my love, your smile and loving embrace, you gave me what I always wanted, my miracle child, my sweet Karkat. I thank you on this day for giving me him, take care of him and do not worry, find happiness again I beg you, he needs a mother even if I am not there for him. Karkat, my sweet baby, my precious miracle child, I know you are angry and sad mommy isn’t here but do not be this way, find love, and happiness, find yourself first. Mommy will be watching over you always and I know its sad, and sometimes hard but I can tell you that the hardest part of this is leaving you. I love you more than anything in this life, and I’ll miss you more than anyone in this life.

Goodbye my loves, be good

Agaria Vantas”

When they had put her in the ground, I walked up to him. I know the pain and the sorrow of not having a

mother as my own mother perished when I was but two years of age.

“Karkat” I spoke

“John” he said in a whisper

“What do you need me to do for you?” I asked him

“I would like you to take me home, I am leaving soon” he replied, and I was astonished.

“Where are you going?” I asked him, hoping he would tell me, and he did, slowly

“I have decided to go away to school so I may quell this anger and hurt in me” he looked up at me with those fire eyes that I absolutely fell in love with the first time we met.

“Will you wait for me john?” he asked, and I was surprised but I knew, he was in love with me as I was with him even though I had never spoke it to him in our few years together

“Yes karkat, I will wait for you to return here, by my side” I replied

“Well then it is set, write to me soon as I shall return in 12 years’ time, to you” he said with tears in his eyes.

I agreed, and we embraced, I then took him to his home and watched him leave me for a while. While he was away at school, I decided to start my training early, I would be king soon and I planned to have karkat by my side as my queen as to unite our two kingdoms. I received his first letter after a year as I thought he had forgotten me but I was mistaken. His letter was written in red with a red envelope, it smelled just like him; cherry blossoms and the sun.

“Dear john,

How are you, I am sorry for writing to you a year late, but I had to control my anger first, I am doing better even though I miss my mother desperately. I know you can sympathize with me as you have lost your own mother. Tell me how you have been, I have been well enough, I’ve grown my hair out is down to my middle back now and I am taller albeit only by a little. I miss you John, I am thinking of you, I do hope you started training early as I did as well. Write soon.

Forever yours,

Karkata C. Vantas III”

I enjoyed his letter as he was writing true to himself and me at the same time, he was honest in his feelings of me and his mother, I was very touched and eager to write him in return. I was finishing up my training for the day and would be writing to him when again I received another letter but this time it was not from my beloved karkat. You see within a year of the late queens’ death the king found a new wife, and she had already had a daughter, Vriska Vacalie Serket, her mother became a duchess and she a princess. The duchess was kind and sweet, loving karkat and Vriska equally, but she was jealous and when she found out that karkat and I were starting to write to each other she grew angry and began to write to me just to upset him in the hopes I would write to her.

“Dearest John,

Hello john, I have missed you. I do hope you have missed me as well, soon enough we will see each other again soon. Maybe you could send me flowers and some chocolates along with your letter that way I know your thinking of me. When I present at the royal presentation ball will you dance with me. If you dance with me then we could announce we are courting. Oh, how joyous that would be! Then how jealous karkat wouldbe…oh happy everyone would be with me and you. write to me soon john.

Your soon to be,

Vriska V. Serket”

I was not writing to her, and I wasn’t interested in her at all, I would be trashing this letter and getting ready to resume my current training. Before long I would be a master in martial arts, sword fighting, hand to hand and stealth. I was ready for my presentation day at the royal, and karats’ as well, he would be beautiful; like his mother was when we were young. I couldn’t wait to see what the future held for us.

During my training, I received countless letters from him and unfortunately countless letters from her as well. It was easy to ignore her because I never really read any of her letters, I did send one reply though and it was not the least bit nice or romantic in any format. I was interested in karkat and would be sending a letter to her to stop these impromptu advances forthwith.

“Dear Miss Serket,

Please do not take this the wrong way but I do not and will not harbor any romantic feelings towards. I only see you as a colleague and diplomatic friend. I request you stop these letters of adoration and declaration ofaffection as I am not interested, nor will I be with these incessant letters you keep sending. Henceforth I expect you to act more lady like and civil towards your coming of age and do not speak of karkat in such ill of tongue. This will be my only reply and my only warning.

Respectfully,

Prince Johnathan Cornelius Egbert III”

~Elsewhere in the Red Kingdom~

Vriska wasn’t happy to say the least; furious was more like it. She screamed, threw things, and cursed which was very un-lady like. When confronted about her tantrum she cried to her mother and pleaded that she request the King of Blue to have his son respond to her letters and not karats as he wasn’t even a real princess. Vriskas’ mother wasn’t to pleased with the allegations of her only daughter.

“What has gotten into you!?” the duchess said

“Mother please! I am the true princess! Why can’t he see I am the one he needs?!!” she screamed

“Vriska! He is crowned prince and he can choose who he replies to, courts or even talk to!” she replied in a huff “You do not get to tell a crowned prince what he should or shouldn’t do” she told her daughter.

Vriska did not want to listen but came up with her own resolve for the dismissal ((he feels sorry for him that’s all; nothing but pure pity not even real love or affection)) she had thought, and it seemed reasonable to her instead of seeing that I didn’t harbor affection for her but for her step brother Karkat. I wasn’t going to feed her delusional state and chose to ignore her. She continued this for some time until I was to return from my official graduation. Her mindset was working on only her own jealousy. This would not be the last time I have to deal with such illegality towards him.

[wordsmatteronandoffstage]

My dream about Ben platt

my dream about Ben Platt freaked me out. because it wasn't what I could relate to it wasn't actuallyl sexrelated I could handle sex instead it was ridiculously emotional.

in the dream I was working at a hotel I use to work for he was performing in Chicago for a pride event and because my new condo was on the street where he was performing the person who had booked him to perform was someone I knew asked if he could use my place as his dressing room before and afterthe show. imagine my utter shock that he arrived at the hotel in the very brief window I was at the hotel not actually working. just stopped by to pick up something I left in my office. i introduced myself to him and escorted him to his room up stairs he said why would your name sound familiar I said you are using my apartment as your dressing when you perform at thepride festival. he said I still don't know why I agreed to do that festival its also my birthday. and not everyone knows I am out. it was such a low qkey coming out it never really got much press in gay or main stream media but I am looking forward to celebrating my birthday with a bunch of hot and sweating fans in the streets of boys stown.i excuse my self from his room so he can unpack and rest.when I get back t the desk I have the concierge call him to see if he wants cake and coffee sent to his room to celebrate his up coming birthday. he ha requested chocolate cake and an espresso if they were available. I Go back to my office and prepare to leave I decided to call my friend who had requested that he use my place. I wanted to know if he had a snack preference as I was planning to stop by a store on the way home I was told he like sour patch candy and caramel popcorn. I went to garretts on my way home got a tub of it I decide for after the show I would make him a birthday cake one I had at a restaurant once and wanted to make it my self a dark chocolate cake with an Irish cream/ espresso butter cream

after his performance which was powerfully beautiful and emotional we weren't back to myplace so he could freshen up we sat on the floor ate cake and talked musical theater I asked him to sing a song i love it was originally sung by a female... someone to watch over me. he said he didnt know it i wonder if that eas a polite way to say nor we had wine with our cake laughed shared our respective most embarrassing theater wounds. I ask him if he wanted me to get him a taxi or uber back to the hotel . he said neither if I was willing to go with him he'd like to take the train back or invite himself to sleep on my sofa I said i wouldbe happy to train it with him absolutely no way would I allow him to sleep on a sofa he could take my bed and I would sleep on the sofa i went and remade my bed changed the sheets before going to sleep I asked the question I wanted to know since I first read about him coming out was it calculated to do it in such a low key 7manner so as to walk it back one day should he wanted to .he said no it was a way to preserve some degree of privacy should he meet someone one day that he was willing to commit to he said if there's a degree of ambiguity not every date would leave to be tabloid speculation on his love life . he asked why I wasn't seing anyone this is the part of the dream that made me cry in the dream and again when I woke up .my answer was easy in til I had to explain it I said fear

fear that the last three men all had ilasthad been interested in had the same trait of selfishlshness. fear that after my stroke and subsequent amputation that I wasn't the same lover or could I bring the same things to the table bringenough to the table that we could be equals fear that if I were with someone I loved how would society judge him being with someone in my condition fear that my genetic disorder would end my life early while with him and it would scare me to leave someone like that he said you canstil bring the important things tothe table regardless of your cpgysical ondition. kindness compassion

generosity

a about a week later I catch a teaser for Ellen interview in Ben to discuss his pride pergormamces especially Chicago.

she ask so how was Chicago pride

he said it was my first pride event it was odd in the fact that it's not common knowledge that I am openly gay I was worried I. wouldn't be seen as a part of the community but an ally. but i was greeted warmly by the people who came to the show I met the nicest man who hosted me post performance made me the most delicious chocolate cake for my birthday he was the perfect host accomadating inhospitable., which he attributed to his southern roots and years working in the hotel industry. but i believe it's just his nature

he had no expectations having a big star in his presence. no did ask for anything from but one thing of me he wanted me to sing a song for him. one I didn't know then but I do now if you're ok I would like to do an Capella version today. oh and James what you are able to bring to the table should always be enough for the right man. the right man can help you with those valid understandable fears..

[justapayneaway]

I LOVE your tags about it wouldbe so awesome if Liam's Christmas song single WOULD be tied to a charity. That would make it such a good thing and we know Liam does involve himself with lots of different charities

Like we still don’t have any details about the promo this song will have, just to clarify. They still can make this happen or make something good out of it. 

But it would be a good way to get good press for once and to help someone in the meantime. It’s also a good song to perform in a lot of Xmas programs in the UK and US, maybe book him for Children in Need like last year. 

We all know Liam loves charities and loves helping them with raising money and visiting them. Liam has been talking a lot about mental health so why not transform this in an amazing thing?!

From the perspective of associations and charities, it could be so important to have something like this for Xmas. I know from experience that you should make donations any time of the year not only on Xmas, but you can’t even imagine how much the Xmas donations matter and can help an organization for a whole year. So here is just a simple idea to giving the song a lot more longevity and promo. 

[yellowsounds124-blog]

----

I have something I need to share. Not with you, with someone else but that'll never happen, its simply not possible, but I need this off my chest and dont have a safe place for it. With your stance on abortion, I figured you would be a good place, sense you wont see the fetus in this story as a "clump of cells" Growing up, my dad was not okay. He was abusive. It took me years and years to say this because through all the running away and calling the police, not going home- I was told over and over that it was fine because he wasnt raping me or punching me in the face. The pushing, screaming inches from my face, tearing apart my stuff, throwing things at me, making me change in front of him, refusing to be by me in public if I didnt look good enough...didnt matter. I was told I was being ridiculous and should be greatful. My friends.. I would beg them please dont leave me alone with him if he ask you to leave the room. But they always would what were they suppose to do? I wouldnt be allowed to talk to anyone to go out for months at a time. So there was a huge foundation of fear, and protecting myself. At some point, i met this guy (brother of my friend), and I just loved him, and he loved me to. He was a POC, once we started with each other his sister hated me for some reason, which made his mom hate me. And my parents hated him (I later figured this was a race and class thing for my father) so being together involved a lot of sneaking around, a lot of giving up, a lot of trying again, the sneaking around would get me in more trouble, especially if it was known it was with him. At this point, I didnt tell anyone how bad it was, I started self mutation. If I wasnt with him (we will call him Kay for the sake of thevstory) I would do any drug I could get and have sex or mess with whoever showed interest (well almost). It was how I would cope as I didnt think I could tell anyone. How could I say anything about what I was going through when I had a friend being raped by her brother, a friend who's dad just up and left, a friend whos mom called her fat and made her diet? I was literally a wreck and the worst part of the cycle was being this wreck made him more angry, he'd treat me worse, and I'd further wreck myself. So about Kay, we went on and off for years, then he moved in with a friend who was only a street away, I wasnt at a 8-3 school anymore and he graduated do it was really easy to be together. I immediately broke up with this other guy I was seeing (we will call him Colin) that my dad liked so I would use him to be able to leave the house ect so I could be with Kay. It was only a month and a half of perfection before it started falling apart. Kay wanted to talk to my father, he didnt know what things were like except that he didnt like him. He thought he could talk to him about how much he loved me and make things better, and I freaked out. He knew I was hurting myself, a few months before my father** had saw the marks and yelled at me asking if I was crazy, asking what the hell was wrong with me, telling me it was disgusting and I stayed in a padded room for a night before being released sense I wasnt suicidal, and Kay saw on my body that I had found a new more hidden place after that incident. He thought he could save me, and we would get married and be happy, but I knew if he went to talk to my father that my father would send him off and I would pay for trying such a thing. * That's when I made multiple huge mistakes that I havent shared with people, 9 years later. First, i broke up with him and told him i didnt even like him and needed time to discover myself,stuff like that. I never stopped loving him. To this day, I'm sure I'd still fall apart at his touch. *Within that same week, I missed my period, I again wasnt able to leave the house, I bought a tested while at the store with my mom, was caught and ordered to take it as soon as we were back. This was bad because if it was negative, I was going to be in trouble for basically no reason. And again this "trouble" wasnt normal. It meant my things wouldbe torn apart. I would be held down and screamed at, spit on not allowed to talk. But it wasnt negative, it was positive. And my mom was waiting downstairs, and I knew this only had a small handful of outcomes. Either they would send me off and have me give the baby up for adoption while being under close watch the whole time, or they would make me get rid of the baby. Abortion. So I did the first thing that came to mind, I called Colin. I told him I was pregnant and it was his. And that I couldnt talk right now. Then I told my mom, and immediately told her that Colin knew. To me, this was security. If he knew, someone would be checking in on me, he would tell his parents, another adult would he involved, if I disappeared there would be questions. And I knew I was right because I told my mom he knew and immediately she was upset I did that. I went in for an ultrasound, found out how far I was, quickly gave Colin a photo and shut the door on him. And the problems started. The dates dont match up, Colin said. I told him hes wrong. His parents wanted a paternity test, I said that's not possible itll hurt the baby. They claimed it wouldnt. I convinced Colin it was his and I just knew. He knew i had been seeing Kay but took my word.Then i heard from Kay, he heard I was pregnant. If he even thought it was his he would be at my door, trying to figure things out, trying to talk to my parents. But my father would not respect him the way he would Colin, so if anyone knew it was Kay's, I would be hurt, punished, sent away. I was terrified, I cant even explain the level of panic I had for my safety. I told Kay it wasnt his, there was no single way, and to leave me alone forever. It hurt so much to tell him that, it felt so wrong and I hated it and I knew it hurt him and I was so broken over it. After that, i was still stuck. The dates didnt match, Colin's parents wanted a paternity test, *the baby was partly a POC and might not come out white, so I wouldnt be able to pass them off as Colin's. I couldnt sleep. My father wasmt speaking to me and wasnt even around, really. I stayed in my room. My parents were pushing for me to get an abortion. "Were just going to the clinic so you can see what its like" my mom said when she took me to the abortion clinic. It was down a stair case, there were no protesters. They took my blood, they walked me through everything and asked when they could set up an appointment. They asked me one time if I wanted to do this, in front of my mom who stared me down. When she brought me back, she paid extra for them to put me to sleep. While I waited with the IV and the last ultra sound pictures I'd have done, I started crying. My mom wasnt there for this part, a nurse asked me why I was crying, she was so angry about it. I said sorry and tried to stop. She didnt ask if i wanted to do this, no one told me that i was at the point where the baby was like a small miniature looking baby, only slightly misshapen. No one told me it had tiny hands and feet, or what they would do with it afterward. And no one made sure i wanted this. When I went in the room I was alone with a Male doctor, and I remember how unusual that was as I had always been asked if I wanted someone else in the room if left with a Male doctor. And I laid on the doctor bed, and I remember think I should say something, this is my last chance, and then I was asleep. When I woke up I was given pads, they told my mom, not me, even though I was 17, that I would bleed for a few days. I never went to the check up appointment. I stayed in my room, I scanned every blood clot for a piece of the baby. I slept and cried, when I heard from Colin I told him that I lost the baby. That's all. I lost the baby. People spread rumors it wasnt ever real. I didn't care. I didnt leave my room. I didnt shower, I barely ate. I gave up Kay, and all my friends connected to him, Colin started dating my bestfriend and they talked shit about me, I lost everyone connected to them. I was just alone. My father came back and was around more. They never talked to me about it, never asked if I was okay. I was like that for months, before finding friends online, forcing myself to listen to happy music, go out, pretending. Fake it till you make it. I met two people, we will call Slw and Ice- who helped me in that time more than they will ever know because they didnt know about it. Slw once asked why we didnt hang out with my friends and I got really upset with him but they both helped me so much. Ice reminded me it was okay to hurt and not be okay, he just didnt know what about. I made more friends, I am so greatful for every single one because they are the only reason I dudnt take my own life in those following years. Things got bad again. I got bad. I am better now, I have kids. People say I am a good mom. But ever sense "getting better" I think about that baby everyday. I worry life will take one of my babies that are here because I let that one die. How can I be a good mom when I let that happen? And I dont deserve them. And I am so sorry to that child. I could have found another way. I could have spoke more. That childs dad would have loved them and had no choice. I hate myself for this, every day. And again, have no where to go to talk about it. Like I said I just needed to get it off my chest because it eats me alive, everyday. Regardless of if people think abortion is right or wrong. To me, I know I got rid of a baby with a future, and its minimalized.

[blueflower-redflags]

Goldilocks and My V Card

After I told him I was an option, we started speaking more and more online - he was in South Carolina and in the military at that point, and i was at college in the midwest. He came in town several months later, and I knew that he was going to kiss me. In fact, I had told him to kiss me. I told him that no matter what, he had to just do it. I knew that i would be embarrassed and shy and terrified, so I assured him over and over that he needed to just seize the moment, and my face.

That didn't mean I was any less discombobulated about it. I had my mom take me to the mall for some perfume and a new shirt. I didn't even like the smell of the perfume but it was a little more expensive than my walmart body spray so I figured it was probably opkay. And then I promptly got drunk on screwdrivers.

Despite having a nnew shirt, I was obsessing over my appearance before he came over that day. i was at home with my parents and he wouldbe meeting me in the basement, walking around to the back door straight into the room where we had sat and not kissed several years before. I video called a friend of mine, terrified, drunk, ranting, and got stick in my shirt. I couldn't get the damn thing off when i decided to change and I was half laughing, half crying. Eventually, I gave up and went downstairs to wait.

He showed up and I opened the door for him and then practically sprinted to the futon. I sat down facing away from him, sitting sideways to stare at the wall directly in front of me. He sat on the futon too, but he sat facing me, staring at me. i knew if I looked at him I would be pounced upon and kissed so i kept talking to the wall. I know he was sitting so close to me, and my heart was about to kill me. I was so excited and i wanted it to happen but also I felt like I would lose him if it did.

I don't know what he said or did but my drunk self got intriguied and I turned towards him. That was all he needed. in that instant, his lips were on mine aand I felt everything click into place. Suddenly I wasn't woried about making a fool of myself or doing something stupid, I was just focused on his lips, his arms around me, the way it felt so natural and so right. When we pulled apart, he smiled at me, and I smiled at him.

After that, we were kissing as often as the opportunity and distance presented itself. But soon enough i went back to college and he went back to the military. One night while he was there and i was back at home, I was on the futon in the room where so many of our moments had happened, and we were talking on yahoo via microphone. It was a serious conversation, n ot my forte, and my default has always been to claim ignorance when pressed into the spotlight. We were dancing around the L word, and we made a bet that if I could get to midnight without saying "I don't know", he would tell me he loved me first. if I lost the bet, I would have to say it first. I didn't like the bet, i felt pressured into saying it, but at the same time I felt like I did love him, and always had. So when I messed up and told him I don't know at exactly 11:59, I told him I loved him, he said it back...and my stomach dropped. I hung up the audio call and burst into tears. I just had a sick feeling I couldn't shake, like something horrible had just happened. I couldn't understand what could possibly be so wrong about what had just happened. I loved him, didn't I?

When you're young and in love, especially if it doesn't feel totally right, and you see all of your friends pairing off, you get desperate. I sincerely thought that he was my first, last, and only choice for a relationship, a marriage. I hadn't really ever wanted to get married, but for some reason sitting in the sorority house and seeing all the other girls dreaming of marriage and picking out dresses and china patterns had me convinced that if I didn't marry him I would be alone and miserable forever. I knew that the time had come to do something I really, really didn't want to do, but also was craving.

One morning in August, I was back at my parent's house and he was going to come over that afternoon to meet up with a friend of mine and her boyfriend. My mom went to work, and my dad took my brother to an outdoors event of some sort several hours away. I had the house all to myself, so I called him early and asked him to come over early. "i'm, ready", I told him, and he knew exactly what it meant. I swear he must not have driven to the house but just run there faster than Forrest Gump.

i'll spare you the details, but just know that if the story of my first kiss was a mess of indecision and anxiety, my first time was worse. We started in my bedroom, and then I was scared that they would come home early and, well, my room was the first place they'd go when they saw his car. So we went downstairs in the futon room, but there was a giant window in there and I was worried the nosy neighbors would see or hear something and i'd get caught that way. I drug that boy all over the house making excuses for every single room, so many reasons not to do it, until we settled on a place and the rest was history. It wasn't what I thought it would be - those Harlequin romance novels were so much more misleading than I ever realized. At twenty-one years old, i had just lost my virginity, and I could hardly stop crying.

[printmakersopenforum]

Pleased to share PrintCamp 2018 (June 2 - 10) at Printmakers Open Forum participant info - In alphabetical order by last name...Next up Jennifer Manzella Website: http://www.jlmanzella.net/ On her work: Working mainly in print media and drawing, I create artwork that recalls landscape tied in with the idea of place, home and shelter. These images are often constructions from actual places in my past travels as well as found images that have been transformed through various drawing and printmaking processes. What she will be doing at PrintCamp: Lately I’ve been more interested in layering imagery I’ve been using transparent base in my relief inks with multiple block processes and monoprints. What I’m really interested in working on at Print Camp is learning how to better integrate a few processes into a single series. For Print Camp my focus wouldbe about combining relief, screen printing and possibly a litho process. I’m very comfortable in relief and screen printing at this point butit would be great to add a process such as lithography. I have a lot of experience as an artist and an educator, I’ve been teaching printmaking, foundations and drawing classes for over 10 years so I have plenty of experience but I’m really eager to learn from others. I’ve done a few residencies (Haystack) in the past and worked out of other professional print studios (Lower East Side Print Shop, Zea Mays) and I always learn so much when I work closely with other artists in these intensive settings. I am really good at working around others and enjoy the communal environment of printmaking studios. Plus I really like camping! Skill Share Presentation at PrintCamp: I would love to share an on-going project that I’ve been working on for the past year. Currently I’m working on a series of tiny copper etchings that are influenced by abandoned and empty building lots in the city of Philadelphia. The city has changed drastically since I had lived here fifteen years ago. I’ve been observing how the influx of people moving from other places along with the real estate market has shifted the poverty line in an ever-changing game of gentrification. My interest lies in recording this shift. Some of these lots have been cared for and have become green spaces within these marginal neighborhoods while other lots are representative of years of neglect. My plan is to create 100 of these small etchings inspired by an exhibition of small Rembrandt etchings I saw a few years ago at the Georgia Museum of Art. I could discuss my process and technique behind this series. Resume: EDUCATION The University of Georgia, Masters of Fine Arts in Printmaking, 2007 The University of Georgia Study Abroad in Cortona, Italy, Graduate Assistant, 2005 The University of Massachusetts Boston, Bachelor of Arts in Studio Art, 1998 TEACHING EXPERIENCE 2016–Present Adjunct Instructor of Art, Arcadia University, Glenside, PA 2013 - 2016 Lecturer of Art, The University of North Georgia, Gainesville, GA 2009-2012 Full-time Instructor of Art, Gainesville State College, Gainesville, GA 2007-2009 Adjunct Instructor of Art, Gainesville State College, Gainesville, GA 2007-2009 Adjunct Instructor of Printmaking/Foundations, The University of Georgia, Athens, GA 2005-2007 Teaching Assistant, Instructor of Record, The University of Georgia, Athens, GA Summer 2005 Teaching Assistant, The University of Georgia, in Cortona, Italy SOLO EXHIBITIONS AND PROJECTS 2018 City Revealed; Public Installation, East Market, National Real Estate Devt, Philadelphia 2017 Structurally Sound, Random Tea Room, Philadelphia, PA 2010 City Walls Mural Project, Sponsored by Brooklyn Arts Council, Brooklyn, NY 2007Time Spent Sleeping; Time Spent Awake, Eyedrum Gallery, Atlanta, GA 2006 The Nature of Things, Lamar Dodd School of Art, Athens, GA 2005 Temporal Landscapes, Hot Corner Gallery, Athens, GA SELECTED GROUP EXHIBITIONS 2018 Vibrant Affects, Jefferson Hospital – In Liquid Exhibition, Philadelphia, PA 2017 New Prints/Winter, Juried Exhibition, International Print Center New York, NYC, NY UGA Alumni Show, Gallery 72, Atlanta, GA Southworks, Oconee Cultural Center for the Arts, Watkinsville, GA Works on Paper- NJC 2017, LBI Foundation of the Arts & Sciences, Long Beach Island, NJ Transferred Impressions, Black Moth Gallery, Ardmore, PA 2016 Tiny Universe Two / Invitational Exhibition, Gallery@ Hotel Indigo, Athens, GA Out of Print �� BYO Group show, B-Square Gallery, Philadelphia, PA Landscape, Sense of Place, SITE: Brooklyn, Brooklyn, NY Killing the Cure, Random Tea Room, Philadelphia, PA An Elegant Statement, Asheville Bookworks, Asheville, NC Lyndon House 41st Annual Juried Exhibition, Athens, GA Southworks, Oconee Cultural Center for the Arts, Watkinsville, GA SCHOLARSHIPS/WORKSHOPS/GRANTS/RESIDENCIES 2017 Zea Mays Printmaking, Wood Engraving workshop with Barry Moser 2016 Barnes – de Mazia Certificate Scholarship, Barnes Foundation, 2016-2017 Haystack School of Crafts Technical Assistant Scholarship, June 11th –June 24th, Deer Isle, ME Best in Show 2D Award, Southworks, Oconee Cultural Center for the Arts, Watkinsville, GA 2015 Haystack Open Studio Residency, May 31st – June 12th, Deer Isle, ME Haystack Workshop/Japanese Woodblock Prints – June 28th – July 11th, Deer Isle, ME BYO Print, Studio Residency, July – August, Philadelphia 2014 BYO Print, Studio Residency, July 9th - August 8th, Philadelphia, PA 2013 Rebecca Thompson Stonington Residency, July 1st – 31st, Stonington, ME 2012 Lower Eastside Print Shop, Studio Residency, June 15th - July 31st, New York City, NY 2011 Lower Eastside Print Shop, Studio Residency, July 1st -31st, New York City, NY 2010 Brooklyn Arts Council & Metrotech BID, City Walls Mural Project, Brooklyn. NY 2007 Andy Warhol Foundation Grant, Eyedrum Gallery, Atlanta, GA 2005 Teaching Assistantship, Lamar Dodd School of Art UGA, Athens, GA 2005 Franklin College of Arts and Sciences Study Abroad Scholarship, UGA, Athens, GA Cortona Stipend Scholarship, UGA, Athens, GA COLLABORATIVE PROJECTS AND ADDITIONAL EXPERIENCE 2017 Volunteer for International Southern Graphics Council Conference, Terminus, Atlanta GA March 15th – 18th 2016 Volunteer for Mural Arts Philadelphia, September – November 2017 2014 Contributing researcher on an upcoming article about the El Camino Santiago with anthropologist Dr. Joseph Manzella. Walked the pilgrimage route called the Camino Frances approximately 700 kms 2014 Installation Technician on Advice From the Oceans/ Athens Celebrates Elephant Six Exhibition, ATHICA, Athens, GA 2006 Biked from Portland, Maine to St. John, New Brunswick in Canada approximately 500 miles. 2003 Thu-hiked the entire Appalachian Trail from Georgia to Maine – 2, 173 miles

[mipsyg]

start-up final thoughts let’s go

i’m gonna list everything i loved, liked and hated. yee, not in that order though i dont wanna end it with negative stuff, so i’ll go, liked, hated and loved instead. 

things i liked:

1. won in jae’s journey to becoming seo in jae again. i have to say i found her character hard to relate to but seeing as she’s the antagonist for a whole part of the show that’s normal. i feel like any kid that loved their father would at least feel some kind of regret if said father died suddenly a little after choosing to go live with the mother. but they never explored that with her.. she was still talking shit about him to her own sister years later for no real reason.... weird ok so yeah moving on.

2. i guess saha (was that even her name??) and chulsan were kind of cute. even if the whole funny comic relief guy relentlessly hits on girl who rejects him cruelly but she eventually sees a soft side to him and starts liking him back is a very tired trope lmao

3. dosan’s parents and their growth together as a family.

4. the whole corporate aspect of the story ksdjskd learned  a lot

things i hated:

1. injae at the beginning jkdjf dkfjdfjkdf she got better later

2. the fucking product placement. holy fuck!!!!!! it was fucking shameless fjkfjfjdkf never seen anything like it. like they weren’t even botherting to be a little subtle.

3. han jipyeong. the dude started okay. he was harsh and stuff but he was more or less, fine, at first.. and then.......... and then!!!!!!!! okidusdsjkdjskd jfkhugdjfdf like first of all, he just started liking dalmi bc dosan liked her first. FJKDJFDKF DUDE GET YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND LMFAOOO JFKDJFFD also he looked like their dad at times.im sorry but you’re old leave these young ppl alone thnak you. no im just kidding that’s just me nitpicking. no but honestly. what’s so great about this dude?????????? i don’t get it i really dont. all he did was flaunt how rich he is, yell at the poor grandma out of nowhere multiple times, and try to destoy other ppl’s self-esteem constantly. i would ask someone to explain it to me but the truth is that i hate his fucking character and i legit don’t wanna hear anyone talk about him ever jkgkfgjfkgfjkg

4. the fucking letters. FJKDJFKDFJ LIKE??? in what world would some letters from fifteen years ago be so important to someone that they wouldbe like no i dont know if i like this amazing dude that clearly loves and supports me or if i love this dude that i dont know but wrote me some letters when i was a fucking kid jfkdjfkdf absolute non-sense

now moving on onto stuff i loved

1. the samsan tech guys!!!!!!!!!!!!11 i loveeeee

2. every single story line related to the grandma, even the han jipyeong one. he’s an annoying prick but the grandma loves him anyway. incredible. 

3. jipyeong being like “in 15 years i didn’t bother to look for you” in the last episode. LOUDER!!!!!1 LIKE THE DUDE LITERALLY GAVE ZERO FUCKS. he literally just wanted her bc dosan wanted her too that’s literally all it was. and him being sad that dalmi is experienced enough and doesn’t need his advice anymore therefore proving how much of a loser he is lmfaooo anyways he sucks

4. dosan. just dosan. he’s the bestest boy <3 a sweet angel, will smash nameplates of powerful people that talk shit about your dead dad and do absolutely everything in his power to make you happy. bestest sweetest boy,

5. dalmi and dosan. THE CHEMISTRY!!!! THE LOVE!!!!!! the fact that they didn’t stop thinking about each other for the three years they were separated after their break up!!! their amazing first kiss!!!!!!!!!!! the pining of it all. “the reason is you”. the hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how much they care and support each other dkfjkdjskds pls

no but i rly liked how the writers tied up the love triangle in the last two episodes. dosan being like she finally said something about me, she liked my big hands. and jipyeong remembering that the excuse she’s still giving to reject other guys 3 years later!!!!! is that she likes big hands. please!!1that was really good- the hands won over the first love and letters in the end and that was all dosan <333

anyways

dosan and dalmi are in love and successful <3 its what they deserve and yall can rot. next time watch the fucking drama and realise whose love story it is to save yourself the disappointment and tantrums jdksjds xoxo

[longlostloveers]

Update: its been 3 weeks since me and davis and broke up. It wouldbe been 9 months together last week 🥴I love and miss him but im okay. Also im 20 years old today so less get it 🤪🥳

11/19/2020

1:10am

[owninsedona]

Keys to a Smart Home Purchase

We're living in a really tough financial moment. We've got struggles together with all our gross domestic solution, occupations, rates of interest, and the most current struggle with your debt ceiling. It's quite clear that individuals are involved if this really is a fantastic time to obtain a brand new home. My very first thought is this is really a fantastic time to obtain a house. Homes are available for 30 40% off! In addition to the interest levels are incredibly low. But, I know the opposite side of this concern; where's the market moving?

I recently watched a few intriguing statistics. Homeownership in the usa reaches its lowest point within the previous 1-3 decades. We saw that a enormous spike in homeownership throughout the boom however today that the bust has happened and dip dip in dwelling prices each those profits in ownership have vanished. Homeownership is presently in 65.9percent

Still, I assert that today could be really a fantastic time to get a brand new house. But, buying a brand new home requires maintenance. There are cluttered approaches and smart tactics to obtain a brand new residence. I want to talk 4 things that I presume homebuyers could utilize to generate their subsequent home purchase safer.

Recall your house is the home and never an investment decision.

The principal reason you are investing in a residence is since you want somewhere to call home. That really must be the priority. You want to be certain your house meets your wants and the demands of one's loved ones. You have to seem longterm how a house will you are your demands 8, 5, even 10 years in the future.

Looking lasting may assist you in making certain the mortgage payment you select will fulfill your longterm financial stipulations. Whilst the bust indicates us, greater mortgage obligations have caused many to lose their homes. You want to be certain that the payment you might have will be useful for you personally long-term. Many individuals jumped at midnight financing that guaranteed low rates today with balloon payments after. People jumped thinking they can always refinance later. But once the bust fell the worthiness of domiciles 30 40% people learned they couldn't re finance.

Approach that the home you could purchase as your own home and never an investment decision. But, certainly one of the wonderful items, a negative benefit for those who may, could be that the house may be a excellent investment. It absolutely can't be your principal concern. Home-ownership will provide you great tax benefits in addition to establishing your equity to future years. All these are fantastic! Just don't obtain a property since it may be a superior investment prior to choosing a home that may fulfill your preferences lasting.

Obtain a predetermined rate loan and also no Adjustable Rate Mortgage (ARM).

Adjustable Rate Mortgages (ARM) look amazing externally but are full of threat over the interior. They tempt you with really reduced rates in the start but at a collection date those speeds flashed. Folks unexpectedly found themselves paying loans which travelled up to 11 percent. (That really is a sum one particular client of mine is currently confronting in the longer term.)

At this time the rates of a 30 year fixed mortgage have reached the unbelievable speed of 4.37 percent. 5 short decades back, through the boom, the speed was 6.41 percent. Taking a look at it within an extended time frame, the typical 30 year fixed rate since 1972 is currently 8.92 percent. Rates are now somewhat more than half of the longterm average. It actually can't have more attractive than that.

Yes, the ARM may possibly lure you with a 3.5% speed today but several years from today you might be taking a look in 5%, 7%, 11 percent. Your temporary profit now may possibly be a long-lasting annoyance after. Lock in a few of these extraordinary low rates today and longterm you'll be pleased you did. You can eradicate a possible economic catastrophe in the future.

Home Warranties really are still an wonderful idea and values the very low price.

There are various quantities of guarantees from the basic (usually approximately $260 annual) up-to elite plans that pay every thing. It is possible to begin with the fundamental plan and add items which make feel for the residence. Some other discretionary coverage choices which you may add is for fundamental A/C, pool/spaand roof escape security, etc..

Whenever you have a home that the proverbial buck stops at your own desk. As a tenant you'd some one else to deal with the repairs (and the expenses of repairs) Being an owner it's all your choice. And the straightforward can become very expensive quickly.

Perhaps not many home warranty providers are created equal therefore be certain that to opt for a reputable business. Many businesses I've worked (and for that reason can urge ) are American, American Home Shield, along with Fidelity National.

Home reviews are a part of this buy fo a brand new home. As a client you have the privilege to do reviews and owner is required legally to produce to accommodate readily available for anyone reviews. There are just two chief testimonials which are used directly in the start: overall review and pest control review. But, you'll find additional inspections you are able to choose based on what you need and the outcomes of the overall review.

In the event the typical https://owninsedona.com/real-estate-blog/home-purchase-timeline/ review tips in any possible issues then you definitely want to safeguard your self by ordering an expert ahead examine the noted dilemma. A few normal followup review wouldbe roof review, plumbing difficulties, or electric difficulties. I might advise yet another fantastic evaluation to acquire that really is really a manometer test. This evaluation will measure just how degree the base is and certainly will reveal whether you can find potential difficulties with the slab.

Simply take the reviews onestep farther and acquire repair quotes. In this way you can be aware of what you could be confronting for repairs or understand what to request owner to fix. Having repair quotes will produce the dialog between the client and seller simpler.

Social Links:

https://www.facebook.com/pg/owninsedona/services/

https://www.instagram.com/owninsedona/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/willhamburg

https://www.yelp.com/biz/homes-for-sale-in-sedona-sedona