#last time on family matters
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Not sure who has talked about it yet (prbly everybody) but I love how Cale was a bit more capable of letting people from Roan in than in Korea as TL.
Like he seems like the same person, and he is, but it's visibly easier to get close to him from the perspective of Choi Han, the Molans, everybody. And I love that the reason is because they, to Cale's knowledge, had nobody. Choi Han has nobody from Korea or Harris, the children have no parents, neither do the wolves, the Molans lost their home, Rosalyn left her home and faced assassins, Alberu was scorned his whole life, and the list goes on.
It's pointed out that he tried to distance himself from the members of his Team after he became leader because they all had families and he did not. And that he, Choi Jung Soo, and Lee Soo Hyuk became close because they were people who already lost everybody. Then those people died, and he couldn't do it again.
Then he arrives in a world, surrounded by people who lost their parents, their homes, their whole worlds, and.
There is no family they have to go home to. So. Couldn't he help them have that? So he doesn't push them to leave, he just grumbles.
And I love how it's awkward for him (at first) to interact with the Henituse family. Not just because they were supposed to know Cale better than anyone else, but also that they were already their own family and he had to consider if he should be there at all, both as an 'outsider' and as 'Cale the Trash'. But then the Henituse household does that thing where they look at him, and no matter who they see past the eyes, it's a member of their own ranks. So even if they knew from the beginning about it or not, whether there is somebody else there or if a person truly chose change, this person is in their family and he is welcome in their house. Especially after all he's done, they have to chain him down somehow so he doesn't kill himself like a moron.
Anyway, I went back a couple of arcs to reread and catch up on part 2 cuz I haven't gone past Murim yet, how are u guys doin
#tcf cale#cale henituse#trash of the count's family#tcf#lcf#That last bit#was part of a theory i had btw#where the henituse household or at least deruth#were told something about the soulswap or time oddity#and thats why they didnt push the matter but kinda rolled with it#not just a plot armor or the henituse family being dumb but#knowing something from a warning by the thames or some last words jour left behind#idk#I kno im very behind DONT RUSH ME
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[ cw: death mention / sibling death mention / isolation / ]
Thinking about how Leo’s portal and teleportation powers have both directly (and in one instance, indirectly) been the cause of him being separated from his brothers at least four times now.
There’s that time in Portal Jacked, where his inexperience leads to his portal being messed with and his brothers ending up in Tahiti.
There’s the Bad Timeline, where Leo’s portaling led to them losing the Key, therefore indirectly leading to the apocalypse and in turn, ending with Leo being the last of his brothers alive (though just for a few minutes.)
There’s him teleporting him and Krang into the Prison Dimension, cutting him off from his family so wholly that the only way to fix this was a literal mystic miracle.
Then there’s the comic, where Leo’s powers act up again and make him lose months of time completely isolated from everyone and everything he knows.
Just, looking at all of this, it’s like the universe gave him the powers of distance on purpose to test him (and his bros), literally seeing if they can overcome unimaginable space and still make it back together. Imagine if it doesn’t stop here, and Leo has to learn to either deal with the occasional complete isolation or deal with time travelers coming back to stop some terrible event his powers (whether directly or indirectly) have caused, events that always lead to separation in some way, shape, or form.
It’s worth noting, too, that his portals often led to accidental separation, but his teleportation was the one power of his that was used to isolate himself on purpose…and was also the one that in any other scenario would have been the most permanent.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#rise comic spoilers#tmnt 40th anniversary#adding those last two just in case even though it’s been months lol#anyway hiiii I still think about Leo all the time and the Implications of his abilities#I truly do think their powers matter sooooo much to their characters frfr#and it’s very very interesting to me that Leo’s whole lineup has everything to do with space and distance#and he himself is constantly forced away from his family#no but imagine this happening all the time - like…his abilities almost PURPOSEFULLY causing his separation in some way#maybe as a test? to test his and his family’s bonds? their bonds are what ultimately power them after all#Leo in particular has lacking faith in himself and his powers despite his confidence in other areas#and I wonder if that comes through in his abilities#I love Leo getting better and better at his powers but the innate self isolating/self destructing nature of them never leaves#Leo: no I don’t wanna be vulnerable#His Powers: no? but what if *this*#Leo: w h y#Leo: actually what if I do it MYSELF *teleports himself into the Prison Dimension*#His Powers: 👍#Mikey: 👎 ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ NO????#leos over the years isolating themselves for training and/or self punishment indirectly leading to rise leo being cursed#(also I’m still gone haha this just hit by brain and I’m too tired to not write it out lmao)
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no but the way viserys continues to haunt the story through rhaenyra and alicents conflict, which gets passed down to both of their children, is crazy good content.
the irony in that viserys the peaceful was the one who started this war, and the downfall of the dragons/his family in the first place.
viserys and daemon had their own conflict, but when viserys alienated rhaenyra initially by marrying her best friend, he then ignored his and alicents children, eventually later his actions leading to rhaenyra marrying his brother (who he'd also taken for granted and ignored).
he then kept doting on rhaenyra up until the moment he died, further seperating himself from his own children by alicent.
alicent knows of rhaenyras affairs, grows hateful and takes that resentment out on her own children instead, while her father otto is further poisoning her and them for his own ends to scheme for the throne.
so then alicents children learnt to grow up disliking rhaenyra's. the only time you see them even remotely amicable is when theyre bullying aemond, another bond made through cruelty instead of kindness. this is ironic considering at laenas funeral you can see that aemond actually thinks about trying to offer comfort to i think baela and rhaena (if i remember correctly?)
aegon and helaena couldnt care less, which to me makes it even more sad. if aemond had, he might not have then been so quick to rub his claiming of vhagar in their faces, and he might not have lost an eye.
the taking of the eye plus viserys' incompetence reignites and cements alicents hatred for rhaenyra even more. viserys takes rhaenyras side, not defending his hurt child at all, even going as far as to shout at aegon for even the mention that he might have said something against rhaenyra. this causes alicent to attack her, and later making her then double down on her efforts to pressure aegon into hating rhaenyra, further distancing him from her.
later we see with aegon that his mothers pressure leads him to find affection in other very unhealthy and harmful ways, assaulting his maids, excessive drinking, brothel going, and assumably fathering many bastards, leading him tho the child fighting rings as well. aemond too starts going to the brothel and avoiding alicent, but for platonic affection instead of anything more.
helaena is the one who received the most of her mothers love and the least of her cruelty, however their relationship is similarly screwed up because shes the only child that doesnt actually want affection from her...
meanwhile rhaenyra is a very loving and fiercely protective mother to her children, fighting for them above all else, especially when their parentage is concerned. she does anything for them, and it shows in their natures that their upbringing, other than the scrutiny from other nobles about their father, that they were raised kindly and wisely.
whats also completely different is that rhaenyras children have not one but three father figures, all of which love them in different ways, which is three more than alicents children have. you could make an argument for cole being a prominent male figure in their lives but he is also quite cruel and hateful.
we see team greens children grow up to be anxious, affection starved control freaks, with mummy and daddy issues, with not one of them knowing how to be a leader even though they are all in some way forced to be one.
aegon is an incompetent drunkard of a king who knows nothing of court or war or politics, not even high valyrian. he is only a figurehead, but is strangely empathetic towards his subjects and loves his children.
aemond is cruel and objective, a fierce fighter and being the most studied and educated of them all, but with no care to his subjects and far too willing to disregard or maim his own blood for his own ambitions.
helaena is the gentlest but she herself has no ambition to rule, she is kind but also an outcast of their society because of her prophecies. she also does not particularly care for her subjects, even being scared of them and their willingness to get to know her.
meanwhile in complete contrast jacaerys and lucerys are kind, more than willing to learn, theyre fluent in high valyrian, they are very interested in their histories and heritage and they learn sword fighting from harwin and assumably laenor? later probably daemon too.
they stand in the war council room with their mother and learn, and even baela and rhaena are involved by rhaenyra to both take part and learn.
the generational trauma goes crazy in this show, but all these characters are so compelling. i dont think there is a single main character that doesnt interest me. yes most of them are bad people and have done awful things, but its also so interesting to see how they got that way and see how one fathers actions, or lack thereof, caused so much destruction.
#this was much longer than i thought itd be xjdjxjsjjza#ill also admit i havent read the books but i am planning to#so there may have been things i missed or got wromg#idk this show is really special honestly and its a breath of fresh air from the shite writing and pacing from the last few seasons of GoT#idk something about this being a 'mans world' but these whole events were started by tragic yuri is amazing#and until recently its been two women leading the two oppositions no matter how subtly they were leading#a man drove a wedge between two girls and they spiralled into thus#its art#also tragic siblings/family goes hard im ngl it always makes me sad#house of the dragon#hotd#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#alicent hightower#viserys targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#daemon targaryen#jacaerys velaryon#lucerys velaryon#laenor velaryon#harwin strong#i didnt talk much about rhaes younger children because they havent gotten mich screen time yet#and also i havent read the books and hopefully avoided most spoilers sjdjsjdks#baela targaryen#rhaena targaryen#ace rambles
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it probably is insane how much I wish I could express the thing about spones. the vibes about spones. Like there's the joking fun fandom vibes and I love them, I love to play with them, of course of course. but the THING. the CORE to me. i wish i could capture it and share it.
#like. the constancy. like the friction matters because it's hand in hand with the steadfastness you know? and it doesn't preclude tenderness#also climbing into the mind of the person you've been obsessed with understanding and being understood by.#and the fact that it's lifelong. and the teasing. and the fact that the growth is in the allowance of imperfections#allowing that imperfections exist in who you love allows you to love them allows you to love yourself#and i always love people knowing what you believe and bolstering it when you feel lost even when it's not their philosophy#(bones asking spock hope? isn't that a human failing? and him not allowing that#spock losing himself to emotion in all our yesterdays and bones reminding him how antithetical that is to him)#but even with all that seriousness - the TEASING. the plain fun. the constant reaching out regardless of their moods#the constant seeking each other out. the almost - given nature of the relationship.#it's not in some ways as dramatic as a Simple Feeling as the When I Think of You I Feel Shame.#it's bones growing into old age the human way one day at a time with spock#when people are like oh spock just put his katra in him because he was there - yeah. and he was always going to be the one who was there#this is why the earth moon sun metaphor works for the triumvirate so much better than sun moon stars imo#bones is the earth spock is the moon kirk is the sun#'the captain was indispensable'#the sun - a distant lifegiver to them and many others. they do revolve around it. have unique relationships to it#the earth revolutes the sun which brings it life. the moon has a face it only shows the sun#and the moon revolutes the earth. their gravity shapes each other. they reach out to each other. they formed in a collision outward#in some ways are entirely different but have the same stuff in them. spin the same.#idk it just makes so much sense for them all.#but even just getting back to them. again just the obsession with each others mind.#'i will never understand the medical mind' 'mathematically perfect brainwaves'#and then complimenting each other always so startlingly out of the blue with their own fields -#'you have a good bedside manner spock' 'perhaps if they had your ingenuity they would have'#the seeking each other's advice out even if it's just to argue with it lmao. the motif of their last words always going to each other#even wrath of khan - we know spock was talking to bones in his head. i do always wonder what was in their tsfs reunion scene#that shatner didn't want to happen.#I don't know and even this isn't the heart of it.#there's the families and the way they fit into each other's conception and value and weight of family#do i even tag this spones. this is just crazy rambling.
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A–Aventio TGCF idea?? Wherein Civil God Veritas Ratio meets the infamous Ghost King Aventurine during his first mission cuz cuz like— The "live for me" paralels?!? The one who has all the luck partner as well?!? The villain who was actually not the Villain this whole time!?!? The loving humanity a little too much it causes their downfall !?!?!?
Rant AU in the tags proceed with caution
#Okay to put it into better words:#Veritas having once being a prince wanted to give everyone the prosperity of knowledge and became a civil god in the pursuit of it.#Sadly this backfires in people using that knowledge for their own greed and creating civil wars within it as well as unleashing far more#Destruction upon the land. And the other gods didn't help Veritas in stopping that bc see that's what happens when people overshare info!!#So the aftermath is just pure chaos plus banishment from being a civil god and thrown as this god of war and plague.#800 years passes and he is seen to just still be doing the same things but I a simple term. Teaching people to read and count.#Often times taking up mission and doing research on new pathogens to help cure the sick that can't afford and somehow during a reading#Lecture he gets ascended back to godhood and everyone is like ??? And even he is like ???#Well he doesn't care much about it and just continues to do what he's always done. Except that once in a while he has to take a detour#Mission to deal with ghosts and other malignant spirits. And upon one of those recurrences he finds himself aquaintanced with#The infamous Ghost King Aventurine. Who is mostly feared in heaven due to having beaten the strongest and wisest at their own games. Even#When the odds where fully against him.#As for Aventurine.#His life was harsh but as the prince had given a lot to the people#Not just education but also free them of diseases and sickness. One of which had struck his sister. He liked the prince and wanted to#Follow in giving and protecting the prosperity of the former kingdom. But the good things did not last and his family was struck in between#The many wars that took place. No matter how much refuge Kakavasha and his sister sought no place was ever#Safe enough for them.#He watched the entire world go up in flames yet somehow he could hate the prince-god for it. But rather the people who had started to#Create weapons in his name. The rest of his years he spent it as a warrior slave and then when death reached him he couldn't even go to#The afterlife since he still held so much vigor and wanted revenge to all the people who had turned his land into ashes and his family#Into bones. That is why he became a mourning ghost.#(I didn't want the kakavasha story to be so centered on ratio like it is in tgcf. Because I think it will be fun for the two of them to#Not recognize each other at first after 800 years and then when they do. Rather when aven does he's full on: oh shit it's the cute prince—#As for who was the cause of the upheaval in the kingdom and the maker of the weapons. Idk I was debating there being more than just one#Antagonist to have pulled their strings in verita's kingdom as well as be the reason Aven's sister died. So he's more revenge seeking for t#And the genius society as civil gods just spoke to me it for so perfectly. Ling wen as Ruan mei? Yeah exactly.#ratiorine#Aventio#Dr ratio
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Bro genuinely all they have to do now is have Lisa say something about being Carla's safe place or safe space (and mean it) and that is it, I will literally combust and shatter into a million fragments of lesbian transcendence. You will not be able to kill me in any way that matters
#personal#carla connor#its all about the safe place boys#swarla#like literally carla has been so good for SO long and life has done nothing but take potshots at her#and yes shes loud and mouthy and shes a drinker and a gambler#she is NOBODYs girl next door and dont you dare try and put her in that mold#but god. GOD. no matter what life has done to her. she just#stays#/kind/#she takes people under her wing and she offers to listen and she protects those who need it#maria and roy and sally and kate and bobby and rana and ryan and betsy#shes a bitch and shes a hardass and shes ambitious and shes capable of so much self destruction#but over and over shes just proved that her kindness and her compassion overrides all of that#she cares and cares and /cares/ so deeply and she wants to do right by people and it!!! fucking gets her kicked in the teeth all the time!!!#but here she is again#opening her heart up to someone (two someones actually)#even tho shes terrified and shes said as much too#she wants this to be the place where she can finally lay her head down to rest and it be safe and sweet and permanent#and if lisa gives that to her#if betsy and lisa become her family#thats it genuinely if they become her safe place--the place where this brave kind woman can finally not have to be brave#and not have to fight for every last bit of joy she can wring out of life#you will find me facedown floating in an oily rain puddle like that kermit gif
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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This imagine goes out to the self-shippers who either choose not to associate with their family, or unfortunately are in a position where they may not have much of a family at all.
The latter half of the year— specifically, the holidays— can be a tough time for many for a myriad of reasons, but just know that throughout it all, your F/Os see you, are here for you, and will remain by your side no matter what.
Think of all of your F/Os not only as one big family, but your true family, whether or not the first paragraph of this post applies to you. If it all becomes too much and you are disillusioned by the notion that you're all alone— you're not.
Your F/Os couldn't be happier to have you in their lives and are so thankful for you. Romantic, platonic, familial or parental, just you being the person that you are makes them even happier than you could possibly fathom.
💞 Remember that. 💞
💖 Proshippers/Comshippers are not welcome to interact with this post. 💖
#Star's F/O Imagines#F/O Imagines#Imagine Your F/O#Imagine Your Fictional Other#F/O Positivity#Romantic F/O#Platonic F/O#Familial F/O#Parental F/O#Yet another instance of me reminding myself of something that I thought several other people needed to hear. 💞#I tend to not be super into the last few months of the year for reasons this post alludes to (Aside from my birthday lol)#But let me tell you— reminding yourself that your F/Os are your true family will do WONDERS in getting you though this time.#I shouldn't have to remind you just how special you are to them all. How special you are in general. 💖#No matter what... you are their entire world and so much more.#Remember: You are valid and your F/Os love you for you!!
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"Red Hood should kill" "Red Hood shouldn't kill" RED HOOD SHOULD DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE HAD GOING ON HERE
#lego batman#lego batman family matters#red hood#jason todd#been a hot minute since last time i ranted about my babygirl#this is still unironically my favourite iteration of the character btw
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“Is this how you we are supposed to be living?”
(insp.)
#kinnporsche#vegaspete#vegas kornwit theerapanyakul#pete phongsakorn saengtham#gifset#*brace's#dailyvegaspete#//#I considered many characters and ideas when I got the theme Restraint/Freedom out of my last poll#there was a lot that could be done focusing on self-restraint but I also wanted to work with physical restraint (e.g. handcuffs)#so naturally it got me thinking about the safehouse#but thinking about the safehouse I remembered that Vegas was also trapped in there with Pete#he was born in the prison that was his family and in addition to that his father had him in a chokehold#a grip that Pete relieved a bit when it was just the two of them#with him it wasn't as bad as before#so if he could decide on the matter certainly Vegas would have preferred to keep Pete#but the night the hedgehog died he didn't immediately put Pete back in chains once he got free#he might even have left the key for him to free himself on purpose#he gave Pete every chance to escape the house. to escape him.#to leave like everyone else and save himself from ending like that poor hedgie#dead on Vegas' arms (hands) while he cried helplessly. because that's what happens every time and he can't escape the cycle once it begins.#he keeps trying only to fail again and again. he can't escape himself.#but Pete could. Pete could have run away and never looked back.#and Vegas would have let him. he would have understood.#he would have done the same. he would have run away and escaped it all if he could.#he too ached to be free
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thinks very hard about that indigo disk cutscene at crystal pool. how the player character is the catalyst for EVERYTHING in scarlet/violet... both good and bad.
from the discovery of paradox pokemon, the professor's eventual death BC of that discovery, arven losing the only family he has, the ai and paradise protocol continuing to bring in paradox pokemon despite the dangers they present, paldea almost being destroyed by paradox pokemon, everything that happens in kitakami and blueberry academy, finding terapagos and meeting the prof...
like I know it's a kids game and the game is About paradoxes and that professor is theoretically from a different reality, but i feel GUILTY for that alternate reality and all that will come bc I gave the professor the book. so many lives will be shifted and changed bc of that decision. juliana/florian are just KIDS, but god they (and briar, since it her book) just affected the lives of so many people and I just! that's so crazy to me!
I already loved what pokemon has done with multiverses and alternate realities, but scarlet/violet kind of takes it to the next level (at least in terms of fic and art potential - I'm v curious how they incorporate this into the anime and manga)
#I'm sure this has been discussed before but I just finished this last night and MAN#the 'what about your family' question and their response lowkey broke me#'he's probably lonely' THEN SPEND TIME WITH YOUR SON#I just feel like there are so many opportunities to do time shenanigans and angst with this#like mc trying again and again to change the prof's mind using terapagos not knowing if anything they do matters#alternatively mc rightfully putting the prof in their place about abandoning arven#I have So Many Feelings about this scene#if they do it right the epilogue at the end of the month will destroy me (positive)#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon sv#pokémon sv spoilers#indigo disk#indigo disk spoilers
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stink monster appreciation post 💕💕
#personal#so about this little stinkies#she hid into herself for a few years after i got her back from my family#and she has never been particularly good at being A Cat/doint the things cats do to clean themselves#and she wasnt mine to start with (she was my sister's originally so she didnt really get As close with me esp cause she became mine-#-while i was in college so i wasnt really Home) but like over the last few years of having her her personality has not just come back out#but also has morphed into the most beastly stinky beast (affectionate) that ever lived#and all of this is to say: she wont let me pee alone anymore in the mornings. everyday no matter what the first time im in the bathroom+#+she runs to come pee with me. i swear she's holding it. its so obnoxious and also so cute#and she did it again today ofc and it made me a little irritated at first bc like she insists on weaving through my legs b4 going to her bo#(tickles my legs weird) but then i got emotional thinking about how much she's come out of her shell over the last few years#i love my stink monster so so much#bun.life
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AMA about any of my fics!
Hi, my week's been absolutely, singularly terrible and is most likely only going to become more terrible in the next few days.
So, if you have any questions about any of my fics or wips or headcannons, please, please, please feel free to shoot me an ask about them.
I could really use any distraction right now.
Overview of Fics and WIPs below the cut because I have a long, long list of projects:
Fics:
A Little Left of Right
Champions Aren't Born
Dreaming of Home
Make You Feel Alright (+ companion fics!)
Nooks & Crevices
various oneshots
WIPs/Ideas:
Numb Little Bug (TFP rewrite; Bee as a sort of disciple [honestly, not entirely sure if that's the correct English word] of Primus/mildly possessed by a weird feeling - 1st chapter is almost finished)
TF One Prequel (focuses on B-127's life up until meeting Dee and Orion, features Dad-Ratchet and at least Brawn, if not more of the Minibots from G1; I have 1 prologue and 1 chapter of this finished and might upload it next weekend)
Starsabre Possession AU (something lives in the Starsabre and takes posession of Bee when he dies at the fight at the Omegalock)
Megatron "Fake Redemption" Arc (TFP; not entirely sure if the redemption arc would really be fake or not because I have complicated feelings on redeeming someone like Megs, especially in TFP - maybe I'd also do an Amnesia arc; anyway, I'd want to explore Bee's feelings towards that and especially towards it happening in his direct vicinity + I want to do something A Monster Calls-Esque where he talks to the spirits of the Primes in order to make sense of all of this; + I'd imagine him running away at some point or another and hanging out with KOBD who've abandoned the Cons at that point)
Humanformers/Mecha AU (probably based on TFP, maybe a mix of different stuff - Earth and Cybertron are parallel dimension versions of the same planet and Shockwave creates a portal between them; and then throws a few people through it in order to test it out - among them Predaking and Bee; later a rescue mission consisting of a few more Autobots as well as more Cons also ends up on Earth)
"Bayverse Twist-Up" (Shattered Glass esque rewrite of the Bayverse Movies inspired loosely by Arthurian Literature - although that Arthurian Literature inspo is relatively new so I can't say too much about that part yet)
TF ONE Shatterred Glass (based on Animal Farm by George Orwell)
TFP MegOP after the War (because I need more angry Bee in my life; similar to the Fake Redemption but oneshot focusing on the fallout between Optimus and Bee)
TFP "Back to the Future" AU (I think Bee and Hot Rod going back in time and watching Orion Pax and the crew being friends with Megatronus and working together with him before he turns could be really funny/interesting)
Theoretically I have some more ideas but these are the ones that are the most fleshed out so that I can actually answer some questions about them.
I'm starting to understand why I never finish any of my ongoing projects. Well. Also, yes, my roommate was absolute correct when she said that there's a pattern to my stories and that is torturing Bee.
#fanfics#ask away#fanfiction#please really - no matter how silly or simple or vague your question seems - just ask it if you have the time motivation interest and energ#I'd appreciate it so much right now#I've just been staring at a wall since monday and somehow need to get out of that depressive slump#tw: animal death and illness for the rest of the tags#you have been warned about the tags#stop reading if you want to pretend that everything's fine :)#one of my family's cats died very suddenly on Monday#and a second one will most likely have to be put to sleep tomorrow if he doesn't get better miraculously overnight#both of them were/are old but their health issues came on rather suddenly - as in last Saturday#and I just want to think of something else right now but can't really focus on university stuff#so - any question - is appreciated right now
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i've been having an absolutely Hateful time lately but there are still some good things in life namely !!!!!!
-> my housemates in general but specifically them on the balcony with one of them cutting the other's hair which i can both hear a little bit (like in the background) but am also getting picture updates of on whatsapp -> having good interactions with people in stores. LOVE that shit. when u & the cashier r both in a good mood and you feel that connection 10/10 -> new pair of second hand jeans that i love. WITH an absolute slay belt. -> planning on making pancakes tonight (roommate birthday). slay.
#i dont have class tomorrow which im SO bummed out about bc i didnt have class last week bc of the holiday#but now the prof's got some family issues to attend to so obviously good for him that class is canceled#but i only have 2 classes a week and im quite dying to be honest like ok it doesnt matter its all fine#but its all adding up to my Hateful Time Lately. the strugglerrrrrrrr#i Need to do more things in mylife. somebody give me a job PLEAK#actually i will also go work on firday this week so slay at least theres that#ive got a tiny shift at the most well paying job ive ever had that is also fun to do (its at a theatre)#so im happy about that. i hope they tell me to come work for them the entire season#idec about the money i just need stuff to do (i AM also doing volunteer work btw its just not entirely what i want to be doing)#(i need to go to the oxfam bookstore on thursday and see if they need help bc i feel like that will be more fun that what im doing now)
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i don't really want to bc like. there's many reasons for me to stay but. i don't think this tumblr life is for me anymore
#obvs im gonna keep this blog like i'm not. gonna go away. i can't lol!#i need to have a space to post when i do have stuff to post ... with gachiakuta otw ofc !!!#but i think it's time .... i admit to myself i cant do this the way i did anymore#not even back in like. 2021 but even just. last year. im not someone who can sustain interaction no matter how much i want to#there's just too much on my mind and im too anxious and way too insecure and with the election i have students to take care of#my family to prioritize and i have to move house and get my credentials and my degree so i can get a job.#it's just too much really to be worrying about what i can do here .. ive been in denial for so lng#not that that changes anything for anyone here or anyone reading this. i'm not disappearing and im still gonna be reading.#but i need to officially relieve myself of duty... iN MY MIND. if that makes any sense.#im sure i'll write again one day. my writing has come so far and ive finally noticed. and im so grateful to have tried so hard#i never let myself down once. thats for certain. i did what i could when i could#but i can't anymore and that has to be okay bc its whats happening.#anyway nothing's changing dw there's just been a shift in my psyche thats all#and i might post less and reblob more .. but that's all!#still love u ofc <3#caitie blabs
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i should be able to google my own family lore
#my dad's side of the family is so weird literally nobody has ever given me a straight answer of what my grandma's name is#i asked what the maiden name was of my great grandma bc there's a dispute abt her ancestry and my dad can't remember her first or last name?#his own grandma???#he knew her she was alive for a long time including in my lifetime#he's basically been estranged from most of his family for 30 years but that was his dad's side not his mom's#but even estrangement isnt a reason to forget her entire name?#on my mom's side i know my grandma great grandma and great great grandma's married and maiden names#but in my dad's side i only know my dad's last name#he remembered his grandma's married last name but that gives zero information about her and her ancestry#anyway#not that it matters in the long run it just seems sad she's been basically forgotten
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