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xxdark-obsessionxx · 6 months ago

Note

I’m a big sucker for Psych Au fics. Reader is a cis female doctor who treats Tord with kindness. He becomes obsessed with her. Refuses to talk to any other doctor.

Tord is always on his best behavior for her which leads her to let her guard down.

BIG MISTAKE

I was supposed to be asleep five hours ago but I couldn’t until I finished this. Just know that in my heart, this takes place in Arkham. Also I'm super rusty so I apologize if anything feels off/wonky.

CW: Noncon

Dark themes ahead, please read at your own discretion and keep yourself safe. This is a work of fiction and I do not condone or support scenarios like this in real life

_____________________________________________

“You dropped this.”

The man stares at you wide eyed as you hand him his lighter. He stands, rigid. You give him a gentle smile and press it into his palm, your other hand curling around the back of his hand.

“I know there’s no fluid in it, so you don’t have to worry about me taking it,” you say to him. You pat his hand and step away.

The man turns fully towards you and you’re able to read the name sewed onto his shirt.

“I-” the man- Tord- swallows hard. He quickly pockets the lighter. “Thank you.”

You give him another smile and walk past him. He had seemed to be going the same way as you but he never caught up. Nor did you hear footsteps behind you. Once you reach the director’s office, he leaves your thoughts. You were absolutely determined to make a good first impression on your first day of the job.

The man you met earlier had turned out to be your first patient. And oh boy, what a patient he was. Like you had promised yourself you weren’t going to judge any of these people but god damn. His file was thick. At least twenty papers were inside the manilla folder you had received from the head director’s office. Maybe even more.

You’d never know if you kept standing outside the director’s office gawking at it. You take a deep breath. Going through it sitting down was probably a good idea. As you make your way to the breakroom, your grip on the folder is tight, trying your best to make sure you don’t drop it and reveal your patient's file.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take you long to get to the breakroom. A few people were there but they paid you no mind. They sit, hunched over lunch or their own files. You sit and start to read.

Løvik Tord

3 7 2 5 9

DOB: 1995

Age: 28

Hair: Dark brown with lighter brown roots

Eye: Silver

You end up skimming through this until you get to the bottom of the page. It wasn’t… pretty.

CASE INFORMATION:

Tord is a violent man. He is aggressive, manipulative, and has a short temper. Many doctors have tried working with him to no avail. He does not respond kindly to Dr.Casey (see page 5), Dr.Bonnie (see page 8), Dr.Roxy (see page 12), or Dr.Harley (see page 15).

He is extremely aggressive towards Dr. Bruce (see page 20).

You stop reading there, your chest feeling tight. You flip to page twenty. It’s not the last page like you had hoped. There were still…. Quite a bit in the file.

Dr.Bruce has tried everything he can to help Tord. He has tried finding common ground with the patient. Has tried being lax and strict with Tord’s schedule. Has tried working with Tord and letting him sit outside. Tord had found every loophole and burned every bridge until Dr.Bruce stopped lenient treatments. Tord stabbed Dr.Bruce fifteen times before guards made their way into the room.

It is unknown how and where he had gotten his hands on a sharp long blade. Tord was seen licking the blood of-

“Don’t worry if you can’t fix him. At this point, Doctor Markman hands his case off to fresh blood to showcase this place. No one expects you to be able to tame him.”

You startle at the voice, goosebumps raised on your arms. “I’m sorry?” you ask with a polite smile. Anger clouded your fear. What the hell was this person talking about?

The doctor, Alice, her name tag reads, smiles at you.

“Nearly everyone has tried working with him at this point,” she continues. “No one expects him to ever get better. He's here for murder, after all.”

You give her a tight smile in return. “I’ll just have to see for myself.”

Before she can keep going, you straighten up the papers and close the folder.

“I appreciate the advice, but I must be going now,” you lie through your teeth. What bullshit! What kind of doctors run this place?

You actually hadn’t needed to be anywhere for another thirty minutes but if this conversation continued you wouldn’t be able to hold your tongue. Everyone can be saved. With compassion and kindness and help, no one was beyond redemption. Or too far gone for help.

You storm out of the breakroom and wander.

“I was hoping I’d see you again.”

Tord grins at you as he’s escorted in. His hands are cuffed and before he can sit down, the guard pats him down.

It makes your stomach churn but you keep your face kind.

“It’s nice to see you too,” you greet. You watch cautiously as he sits down in the plush chair. The guard leaves the room.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

It’s silent enough to hear the clock as the two of you study each other. He seems to drink you in, eyes wandering up and down, seeming to take in everything. You’d do the same if you weren’t a professional.

“You used to dye your hair?”

Tord raises an eyebrow. He tilts his head a little, eyes focused solely on you. It unnerves you almost as much as his file had. No patient of yours had ever stared at you so intensely in the past….

After a moment, he answers. “Yes. I fancied black quite a bit.” He gestures towards his roots. “It’s been a while since Bruce got me more dye. No one else will.”

“I could look into it,” you clasp your hands, jumping into this opportunity. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to Doctor Marksman.”

“And what do you want from me in return?”

“I’m sorry?”

His gaze hardens. “What. do. You. want.” He grinds out, his body rigid in the chair. His hands were clenched.

Without thinking, puzzlement falls across your face. What did he mean? What did you want? For him to get better, obviously.

“I want you to be at ease with your mental health,” you answer, still looking puzzled. “I don’t want anything else from this job but that. I’m not dangling hair dye in front of you in exchange. I want you to feel comfortable in your skin and at home here, Mr.Løvik.”

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

“Is that really what you want?” Tord asks, an emotion you can’t quite place in his voice. “To help me get better?”

Whatever it may be, you smile at him.

“Of course. I want nothing but to see you succeed and be happy here.”

Things were easier after that first session. You always started off kindly, asking Tord how his day was going. If his favorite show or movie had aired on the television today.If his favorite food had been served that morning or afternoon. If he slept fine through the dreadful storm.

(“I know I wasn’t,” you had laughed. “I tossed and turned, jumping at each sound all night.”

“I’m sure your boyfriend was quite displeased.”

“Oh,” you chuckle. “Well, no. I have a cat but no boyfriend. I was too busy getting my decree to ever really mingle like that. Though, my poor little man was also distraught at all the thunder last night. He yowled at my door until I let him into my room and he curled up on my bed. I’ll bring pictures next time.”)

Too well for you and only you. Tord refused to talk to anyone but you. He would sit in silence or insult other doctors during his sessions. In one instance, he broke a new doctor’s nose. The poor guy had quit on the spot, cussing Tord and the whole place out as he was escorted to the medical section.

You were tense the next few sessions but that violent man was nowhere to be found. He kept his cuffed hands right in front where you can see them at all times. He never lunged from you. In fact, barely ever moved in his chair.

Tord was easygoing. Polite, charming, even. He took any medications he needed obediently and put up no fuss when you’d have him describe in later sessions how he was feeling and if he was feeling any negative side effects.

He asked about your cat. About how your favorite show was going. If the movie you were looking forward to has come out yet. If your favorite restaurant down the street from your apartment was still closed for renovations.

Eventually, enough time had passed that you relaxed. You stopped keeping your eyes trained on his hands. You stopped worrying yourself sick about his body language. You focused on his treatments and his mental health.

If he was going to hurt me he would have done so by now, you thought to yourself after your latest session with Tord. He was doing so much better than he had been doing six months ago. It seemed as if you were really making a difference, helping him improve.

It had been three months since he last fought another patient. Two months since he assaulted another doctor. And five months since he refused treatment of any kind.

You step outside the building and take a deep breath. A dopey smile sticks to your face as you walk to your car. Becoming a doctor was the best choice you’ve ever made. Nothing was more rewarding than helping people. Not even this cloudy weather could bring you down.

In fact, nothing tried to drag your mood down. There was no traffic on the way home. Some asshole hadn’t parked in your assigned parking spot again in the parking lot of your apartment. And your sweet cat hadn’t knocked his little box over again.

You happily reheat your leftovers and watch tv for a while before you get ready for bed. Unfortunately, your mood does come crashing down.

In the middle of the night, thunder wakes you. You jolt up, scrambling for your phone. Your hands come up empty. Shit, you think. I left it charging in the kitchen. Ugh. Oh well, you don’t need to look at your phone to see it is late and storming.

Another loud sound booms through your apartment. Only this time, it sounds like a crash.

“It’s just thunder,” you tell yourself. “Nothing to be afraid of.” You lay back down. Your eyes shut and you’re just about drifting to sleep when your door creeks open.

You bolt up, knowing damn well that your cat can’t open doors and you freeze.

Your heart races as your mind tries to process just who was in front of you.

“Tord?” you whimper, hands shaking. But that can’t be. That was impossible. He was supposed to be sleeping soundly in his room with the soundproof headphones you got him. He didn’t like storms. The thunder reminded him too much of gunshots and made him restless.

Useless information floods your brain.

“I’m home, sweetheart,” he rasps. His grin is soft in the moonlight. He reaches over to flick on your bedroom light.

He’s gentle he’s kind he’s sweet he’s-

He’s covered in blood.

Tord steps forward and you’re frozen in bed. His eyes are wild as they drink you in. There’s blood on his hands. In his hair. Splatters on his face.

“Oh honey how I’ve dreamed of this,” he croons at the foot of your bed. “Your apartment is just as cute as you described.”

He grabs the edge of your blanket and pulls it off. His smile grows sappy. “You did go for the red pants like I suggested.” He giggles, staring between your legs. “I wonder if there’s a match beneath them.”

That snaps you out of your shocked stupor. You scramble off your bed, slamming your head hard against your nightstand as you try to avoid Tord’s lunging grasp.

You lay fetal on the floor, tears in your eyes as you clutch your head. “Fuck,” you hiss.

Tord clicks his tongue. He slowly climbs off your bed, crouching next to you. “My poor clumsy sweetheart.”

You feel his hands in your hair.

“What do you want?” you gasp. Fear and pain mix as you start to cry into your carpet.

His hands stroke your hair.

“You.”

With that, you’re powerless to stop him as he scoops you up into his arms. You thrash as he dumps you back onto your bed, pinning you down.

“I know you're scared but it’s ok. I’ll be gentle, my love. So gentle.”

Your mind can’t wrap your head around what’s happening. Tord isn’t supposed to be tying your wrists to your headboard. He isn’t supposed to be kissing your neck and grinding his hard arousal between your legs. He isn’t supposed to be in your home.

“Such a good girl, staying still for me,” Tord says softly as he pulls back. He slides your pants down. Disappoint clouds his eyes when he sees your panties aren’t red but it’s deepened when he pulls those down and you’re barely wet.

“It’s ok sweets. I’ll figure out what gets you going. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in needing help.”

Anger wells in your chest as Tord fishes for something in one of his pockets. How dare he. How dare he parrot your own advice back at you. As if this was a simple therapy session. As if you were the patient and he was the doctor wanting to help.

“Get off me!” you snarl. “You know this isn’t right Tord. Y-you’re sick! You need help!”

Tord stops what he’s doing to stare dead eyed at you. He plucks a clean rag off your nightstand and stuffs it into your mouth.

“Enough of that,” he scolds. “You need this as much as I do. In fact, doctors orders.”

He grins at his own twisted joke. He fishes through his pockets again and pulls out a small bottle of lube. “Yes, just what my love needs. A good thorough fuck.”

You desperately try to spit the rag out but your mouth is too dry. You twist and tug your wrists but to no avail. This was happening. Your gentle, sweet patient was going to take your virginity.

Tord carefully squirts lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together. He parts your folds, humming appreciatively as he rubs your clit.

“That’s it, my good girl. Get nice and wet for me.”

You feel sick. Against your will, his crooning and his touches stir up arousal inside you. You close your eyes as he gently fingers you as if he was searching for something.

A minute later, your eyes fly open as he jabs something horrible. Your pussy grows slick from it, pleasure building in your lower stomach.

“There it is.”

You shake your head violently. Not there, you try to plead with your eyes. Anywhere but there!

But Tord merely smiles at you and ruthlessly abuses that spot. Over and over his fingers jab and curl, rubbing it. You squeeze your eyes tight, small moans making their way out of your throat as pleasure jolts through you.. His thumb strokes your clit and you cum embarrassedly fast. You stare at the ceiling and wish you hadn’t wanted to cum at all.

“Good girl,” Tord praises. He pulls his fingers out, eying them appreciatively. He sticks them in his mouth and sucks, moaning. “So sweet. But I’m too impatient to try it from the source. You’ll have to forgive me, my love.”

Panic jolts up your spine as you feel his tip pressing against your entrance. You try to climb up your bed rest but you only achieve getting a little higher up on your pillows. Tord sighs and presses forward.

“It’ll hurt for a moment but I promise this will feel good,” Tord tries to soothe. He picks up the lube and squeezes more into his palm and strokes himself.

You hate him. You hate him with all your heart.

He pushed forward and once again, you squeezed your eyes tight. His hand roughly grabs your throat.

“Eyes on me,” he snaps. “I want to see how good I make you feel.”

The fear overturns the pain and you quickly open your eyes. He pushes further in, reaching down to run your clit.

Tord rocks his hips a little, eyes starstruck as he stares down at you. “You’re getting wetter,” he mumbles to himself. A grin spreads across his face.

His hips snap forward, setting a firm pace. He stops rubbing your clit to grab under your thighs. He lifts them up and pushes until they’re almost touching your breasts.

He thrusts harder and-

You squeal, bucking your hips as he hits that horrible spot. You can’t stop bucking your hips, jolts of pleasure stabbing your stomach and stars in your eyes.

Tord pressed closer to you, caging you in. He holds your gaze intensely, panting a little. His eyes dart between your face and your bouncing tits.

Like earlier, you cum fast. This one hits you harder. And Tord doesn’t stop.

You cum again and he pulls out. “Move and I’ll beat your ass with a belt,” he growls. He pulls out a switchblade and cuts the rope off your headboard. He’s quick to tie your wrists together.

You find yourself on your stomach, ass up. Tord firmly holds your hips. He enters again, pressing down against you. Caging you against the mattress as he pounds into your pussy hard. By the time you’re cumming again, he finally cums with you.

You’re crying by this point. Overstimulation has you cringing, your pussy tingling as he pulls out. Once again, you start to panic. Tord had come inside you. You thrash underneath him.

“Stop that,” he hisses, slapping your ass hard. You cry harder as he does it another three times. And another, until you finally go still.

You hear Tord sigh harshly. “I need to be patient with you,” he mumbles to himself. He gets off of you and you hear him leave the room.

He’s back within minutes, holding a wet hand towel. You’re gently turned over onto your back and he softly cleans you up. You can’t look at him.

“Mrrow.”

Your heart jolts. Your cat jumps onto the bed, purring as Tord pets him with his clean hand. Traitor.

“You rest while I pack,” Tord says softly. He leans down to press a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll grab everything you need and love for our new home.”

He climbs off the bed and leaves the room again. He comes back with duffel bags. Your cat paddles up to you and curls up next to you. He purrs hard as you sob your eyes out.

#tw yandere #yandere #tw noncon #yandere noncon #yandere tord x reader #cw noncon #cw yandere #yandere smut #yandere lemon #noncon tw #noncon cw #yandere x reader #yandere fic #yandere tord #yandere x you #tw dark fic #yandere sinsworld #sinsworld

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badgers-and-cats · 2 months ago

Note

hello love i recently read your sirius fic and it was really great^-^ and now i would like go ask (if you’re comfortable with it) older remus lupin x younger reader ,who are secretly invloded with each other, and they’re at an order meeting and she keeps teasing him subtly and he can only take so much 🤭 and then after the order he grabs her and he pulls her into a room and then you know smut ensues

would be great but if you can’t right that’s alright too thanks anyway🤭🤭

Pretty Dove (Remus Lupin x reader)

Masterlist

AFAB reader

Warnings: age gap (everyone is of age - reader is in early to mid 20’s). Unprotected PIV. Blowjob. Feminine pet names MDNI!!! (Let me know if I forgot anything!!)

A/N: Aaa thank you my lovely, I’m glad you enjoyed the Sirius fic!!! Hope you like this one just as much❤️ sending lots and lots of love❤️

Also wasn’t really sure how to end this! So apologies if the ending isn’t great

No matter how hard you tried to get his attention, he just wouldn’t look at you. The entire meeting, which had reached the half hour mark now, you had received a maximum of 2 looks from him, and one of those times was because he was talking to the group.

You understood your relationship with the older man was a secret. The past 4 months had been spent sneaking about, only getting to spend time together when nobody else was around. Only being about to touch him and to be touched when you were 100% certain you wouldn’t be disturbed or caught.

But the last time you had a moment alone was a whole 12 days ago, (but who’s counting, right?) and you were getting desperate. Especially when he wouldn’t even look at you. From the outside, it was like you were just acquaintances, colleagues even.

You were fed up of being ignored. So, you acted on an idea you had thought of. It was risky, but you were confident you wouldn’t get caught.

His demeanour changed, when he feels your fingers running up his thigh. Still, he doesn’t look at you. But it’s obvious your small action is affecting him. What else could you get away with, you wonder.

With no warning, your hand touches his hardening cock through his pants. He snaps his head at you, gaining himself a few funny looks from other members of the order. You smile softly at him, an innocent, friendly, act in the eyes of everybody else; but you and he know differently.

He knew that he couldn’t do much, even if your relationship was knowledgeable to the order; this was still a risky move. Instead, he gives you a stern look as he looks the other way.

The meeting lasts another 15 minutes. Remus leaves almost instantly, looking at you as to say ‘follow me.’ You leave a moment later, following him into an empty drawing room upstairs.

The second the door is closed, your back is pushed up against it.

“What is the matter with you today?” He asks, one hand on your hip and the other placed on the door at the side of your head.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Remus,” you smirk, running your hands down his chest, smiling up at him softly.

“You know exactly what I mean, dove,” he whispers, kissing the corner of your mouth, pulling away before you could respond,

“Remus, please,” you’re starting to beg. But you cannot ignore your heat begging for his touch any more. He just smiles at you softly, tucking your hair behind your ear. Luckily for you, he had been longing for your touch - his hand just didn’t compare to you.

“I need you to be quiet for me, pretty dove. Can’t have anyone catching us, can we?” He asks. You don’t even have the chance to fully process what he had said, but that doesn’t matter anymore. His soft lips are a contrast to the bruising force of the kiss.

He runs his tongue over your lips, before sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, earning a soft moan from your swollen lips.

“I love you so much, pretty girl. Missed you so much,” he groans, kissing you before you could answer - swirling his tongue around yours as he pushes you further against the door.

“Mhm Rem,” his name rolls off of your tongue effortlessly, almost as effortlessly as his hand made its way to the top of your head as you make your way to your knees, palming his bulge when you get there.

“Go on, pretty dove. Show me how much you missed me,” he says, gently and lovingly moving your hair out of your face as you undo his belt - taking down his pants and boxers.

Usually, you would tease. But after so long with no touches, you elect to get straight to it - Remus is delighted for this decision, you knew from his satisfied sigh when his member enters your warm mouth.

You bobbed your head along his length, it hitting the back of your throat with every bob. His hand has made a made shift ponytail, helping you to move along his length, as well with the occasional thrust of his hips.

You’d be lying if you said you wasn’t enjoying this as much as he was - the wetness between your legs proving that. Like he read your mind, he gently pulled your mouth off his member, your lips darkened and wet with saliva.

“Need to feel you. Wanna be inside you,” he begs. He helps you strip quickly - lining himself up with your heat. Rubbing his head through your slick, he pushes just his head into your wetness.

He groans at the sensation of finally being inside you after almost 2 weeks, resting his head in the crook of your neck - kissing it gently.

“Please, wanna feel you all,” you whine, hands playing with the hair on the back of his neck, as you kiss the top of his head. Pushing into you more until he bottoms out, now balls deep inside you, it takes him a moment to ground himself after feeling your warmth and wetness around his aching member.

After a few moments, he starts moving his hips - every one coming in faster and harder than the last. You’re holding onto his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. He has one hand caressing your face, thumb running up and down your cheek lovingly, the other against the door behind you.

“Oh fuck, oh, yes, fuck yes, there, just like that, fuck,” you moan, attempting to not be too loud, as his thrusts somehow becomes rougher as he bites your neck lovingly.

“Ssh, quiet dove, don’t want anyone catching us do we? Not after all this time,” he whispers - unable to keep his own moans down.

You knew you wouldn’t last long, “can I- fuck,” you couldn’t even finish your question - feeling his dick hit your cervix with every thrust.

“Yes, I’m close too, cum for me gorgeous girl,” he says, before stilling his hips, filling you up with his cum, as you soak his dick in your juices.

He pulls out after a minute, you while slightly at the loss of contact. With a gentle kiss on the lips, he says “I love you. I’m so sorry for not giving you the attention you deserve.”

“That’s okay, handsome. You can ignore me more often if that’s how I’ll get fucked afterwards,” you smirk, holding his face in your hands, kissing him again, “and I love you too,” you smile.

After getting dressed again, and a handful of more stolen kisses, you both leave the drawing room, hoping to remain undetected. That is, until you come to face to face with Fred and George Weasley.

“Afternoon,” they both smirk, before walking away.

“I wonder what they’ll want in return for them to not tell everyone,” you joke.

#remus lupin #remus lupin smut #Remus lupin x reader #older Remus lupin #professor Remus lupin #request

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youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms · 1 year ago

Text

Love Thorns All Over This Rose

Words: 2577

Warnings: angst, talks of a miscarriage, body image, talks of difficulty staying pregnant, mention of what is technically a still-birth, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-medicating, accidental suicide attempt (this is will make sense if you read it), probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever

DC Masterlist Main Masterlist Join My Taglist

IF THERE IS A WANT FOR A PART 2, I WILL DO ONE, IF NOT, THEN THIS STAYS AS A ONE-SHOT!

I mention Y/N goes to a church to pray, it is described more as a Christian or Catholic one (I really don't know the difference and I apologize) as she lights a candle before she prays. If you wish to skip that part, it starts with "Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral." and ends with "Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out.". I do also mention that the reader themselves aren't very religious (but grew up with it so reverted back to old practices to see if it helped)

Alfred is also dead in this (don't ask why he just is) so that's why he isn't here!

The POV here isn't really consistent. It jumps between being with the Batkids, Bruce, and Y/N's. I tried to make it flow though so hopefully that works!

I feel like I should mention:

Bruce and Y/N's ages don't matter (I'm not in the mood to deal with that) but; Dick is 31 (and married to Kori but that's not too important), Jason is 25, Tim is 22, Damian is 15, Cass is 24, and Steph is 23

I also am not too familiar with Duke, so that is why he isn't there much. Mostly just mentioned

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

7:25 AM

The kids watched as Y/N was silent as she put the plate down in front of Bruce's empty seat. They all noted how fake her smile looked as she looked up at them. "Alright, I will see you kids later!"

They all watched as she walked out of the dining room and once they knew she was out of earshot, they started talking.

"Did she eat anything?"

It was Jason, he had been the last down (well...outside of Tim) so he only saw her putting the plates down and ushering them to eat.

Dick shook his head, he had seen her the entire time she made breakfast. Fully clothed, which was unusual as she usually just made breakfast in her pajamas with her hair occasionally brushed. But not today. Today her hair was done, makeup was on, she was dressed as if she was working.

But everyone in that house knew she was still off after what happened, even though it had been 3 months since the incident.

Damian flicked at his food, "Ummi was supposed to take me to school today."

Dick smiled at Damian, "I can, Dami. Mom is just...preoccupied."

Damian hmphed and continued to play with his food. Dick was concerned for his younger brother. He knew that while he himself was close with the woman he had allowed to become his mother, Damian was so much more as she was really the only person who never got mad at him or made fun of him when he didn't understand something.

Jason abruptly stood, "Since mom isn't here, I'm just gonna go."

Dick raised a brow, "Really Jason? You're just gonna leave after--"

"Hey, we've been over this before Dick. I come because mom asks me to." He shrugged as he put his jacket on, "Plus, I'm going to follow her."

Stephanie snorted, "She'll kill you when she catches you."

"If she catches me. If."

Steph hummed, "My bets are on she will. Y/N is always on the lookout, especially after..." She faded and looked down, regret piling up inside her as she thought of what she was about to say.

"Either way, tell us what you find Jason."

He nodded to Dick's request before heading out the side door in the kitchen. Dick tapped his hand on the table for a minute before speaking; "I'm gonna go check on dad, Damian go get everything ready and I'll meet you at the entryway, alright?"

The eldest stood, placing a gentle hand on the youngest shoulder before heading to the stairs. Dick was concerned. He had never seen his mother so...shut off. Pretending like everything was alright even though everyone who saw her could tell that she was so close to jumping off of a bridge.

The closest that he had seen her to this was back when Jason died and she broke up with Bruce. But even then, she didn't avoid things that she had already planned. Even then, she stayed committed to things.

Plus, Dick knew she had no plans today. Well...no plans except for the fact that beforehand this would have been her due date. And he knew that that was most likely what had off-set her so badly.

Dick didn't even knock before opening the door to Bruce's study. He was even speaking before his father even looked up from his computer. "Have you talked to mom?"

Bruce raised a brow, "What?"

"Mom." Dick crossed his arms, "When was the last time you and her had a real conversation?"

Bruce shrugged, "I'm not sure." He looked at Dick oddly, "What are you going on about?"

Dick let out a hard sigh, "You two are married, it is your job to take care of her. Goddammit Bruce!" He threw his hands up in anger, "You know what? Nevermind, I'm not...I'm not even going to try."

He angrily turned and walked out of the room. He didn't even understand why he even thought that talking to Bruce would help. He just walked down the stairs and remembered his promise to get Damian to school. Trying to hide the anxiety he had that he didn't know what exactly his mom was doing.

--------

9:09 AM

Jason watched Y/N walk out of the convenience store all the way in Blüdhaven. From where he was, he couldn't see what she had bought, but the moment he saw her go into the store, he had messaged Tim to watch her bank account. To watch what she was purchasing. Something felt...off as he watched her.

Jason knew that after the...accident, Y/N had been hard to reach. To talk to. He knew that she and Bruce hadn't been sleeping in the same bed since that argument he had accidently heard them having around 3 weeks after everything happened. So 4 weeks ago.

Granted...from what he had heard, it wasn't even a fight that they had had. Mostly just words being thrown at the other. Words that Jason never thought that he would hear either one say to the other. Words that he never told any of his siblings that he heard. All out of fear that one of them would panic. And while sure, he had a disdain for Tim and Damian, that didn't mean he would ever let either of them know what he had heard.

Jason wasn't sure how long he had been watching her just sit in the car before Tim finally texted him a list of what Y/N had bought in the past week. And considering Jason had seen her previous bank records for a week, it was a sure red mark with how short it was.

Tim

In the past week she's gotten a lot of sleeping pills. That's basically all that she has gotten. That plus energy and pain pills. Duke is thinking she's self-medicating again

Jason sighed as he pocketed his phone when he saw his mom driving out of the parking lot. He kept a safe distance behind her as he followed her on her drive back to Gotham.

--------

12:15 PM

Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral. Trying not to make a misstep and fall as well as trying not to draw attention to herself. She closed the umbrella over her head as she walked in. Placing it in the small holder, she brushed the front of her outfit as her heels clicked on the ground when she walked down the long hall.

Last time she was there was for her mothers funeral last year. Last time she had walked up and grabbed the larger candle to dip down and light the smaller one. Her heart pounded in her chest as she kneeled, words swimming through her head and mumbling off her lips.

She herself was never very religious, but having grown up that way, she wondered if praying like she did as a child would work. Praying that things would get better and that she would get better.

She shakily did the cross on her before standing and wiping the tears that had silently fallen away from her cheeks. She turned and started to make her way out of the church when she heard a voice call out her name:

"Mrs. Wayne! We were not expecting you here today, is everything alright?"

Y/N slowly turned to face one of the Nuns, a small, fake, smile on her face. "Oh yes, everything is alright Sister. Just came here to pray for a moment. I haven't in such a long time."

The nun nodded, "Very well, I hope the Good Lord hears your prayer and makes it happen."

Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out. She grabbed her umbrella before opening the door and walking out. She practically ran back to her car, wanting to get in before anyone saw her out.

But Cass and Steph did. They watched her speed back to her car as they sat in the cafe across the way. Stephanie shook her head, "She never goes there. Especially not since her mothers deaths."

Cass nodded as Steph continued; "Something is seriously going on with Y/N. Maybe something else has happened that we don't know."

"She's been deteriorating for the past 4 weeks."

Steph raised a bow and inquired, "4 weeks?" Cass nodded, "Huh...weird, that's around a week after she came home from the hospital." She grabbed her phone and started typing in the groupchat that only held the kids (Damian not included):

Steph

when did Bruce disappear for a few days after Y/N came home?"

It didn't take long for Tim to respond

logs say he left 35 hours after she got home and came back 83 hours later why?

Cass

She's been slowly getting worse sense then

Jason

I overheard them arguing around 3 weeks after everything happened and I know they haven't been sleeping in the same room since then. And I'm not sure how important this is; but Tim checked her bank account and she bought different pills so me, him, and Duke think she's medicating again. Or that she's going to start again.

Cass and Steph looked at each other, concern and worry was on their faces as they read Jason's last message. Something started unnerving them as they thought of the things she could possibly do if she was going to start medicating again.

----

3:25 PM

Y/N looked at her body in the mirror. Her hands came to lay on her stomach. Just like she did before. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she stared at her flatter stomach. She breathed shakily as her hands fell down to her sides.

Why?

Was all she ever asked.

Why me? Why did this happen to me?

She was so confused. She had always been good. Done everything to be a good person. But yet she still had that happen to her. Was she just not meant to be a mother?

Of course...she was one. She was a mother to 4 amazing boys and 1 beautiful girl. But still...it was different. Yes, those 5 children were hers, but that one. That singular one that she had carried for nearly 7 months had meant so much to her. Especially after being told time and time again it wouldn't happen.

It wasn't even the first time it had happened. She had had miscarriages before...but that wasn't what it was this time. The kidnapping. Bruce and the kids had found her after 2 days. The emergency c-section to save the baby.

But she knew. Of course she knew. She knew it had died.

Her baby girl. She had died before she even got the chance to live.

Y/N shakily breathed as she grabbed one of the bottles from the counter. She had thought it was the pain medication. But it hadn't been.

Sleeping meds.

Ever since it happened she had hardly been able to sleep. Nightmares of what happened still plagued her mind. Bruce yelling at her still echoed in her brain. Those...twisted words he said echoed inside of her.

She had popped a few in her mouth before dry-swallowing them and getting into the bath she had started earlier. The hot water felt like it was searing her skin, but she didn't care. She wondered if maybe she did this enough, whoever was above would forgive her of her sins and let her keep a pregnancy.

She wasn't sure how long she had stayed in the water before it became difficult to keep her head above water. Her body just felt so heavy. She wondered what pain meds she had grabbed at the store. She couldn’t remember them making her feel this way before. After a few moments of struggling to keep her head up, she felt her body sink down and under the water. But even as she felt water rush into her nose and fill her lungs, she couldn't bring herself to move and get out.

She just accepted her fate.

----

3:30 PM

Bruce sat in his office, a bad feeling settling in his stomach. Something was telling him to check on Y/N. See if she was alright. He knew she had returned around 20 minutes ago, the security cameras had caught her walking in.

He carefully stood from his desk and walked out of his office. He walked down the oddly quiet halls of the manor. A small feeling of pain and guilt started to eat at him as he got closer to the guest room she had been staying in. He knew she was struggling. He knew that she needed him today. But he just...couldn't.

He was selfish. He knew this.

He knew he was so goddamn selfish. Caring about his own feelings rather than helping his wife. She had been the one to physically go through everything. She had been the one to bear that trauma.

He had been so incredibly selfish since she had come home from the hospital. He had even begun to wonder why she even stayed in the manor.

But as he opened the door to the guest room, unrest settled inside him as he saw she wasn't there but the bathroom door was open. It was silent. He had known his wife long enough to know she never was silent in the bathroom. She almost always had music playing.

He pushed the bedroom door further open as he walked further in. Anxiety started to reach a breaking point as he walked into the bathroom.

And time felt like it moved in slow-motion as he saw her state. Her knees bent out of the water, her head under. He saw the three bottles of pills on the counter. He saw the open one read sleep on them. He ran over to the tub, grabbing under her arms and pulling her out.

He bent down, trying to listen for a heartbeat. He felt like his own heart stopped as he heard nothing. Not even a faint thump of one. He quickly moved to her side and started CPR.

Everything still felt like it was moving slower than it was as he pushed down on her sternum. Tears gathered in his eyes as he repeatedly slammed down onto her. As he breathed into her mouth. He didn't stop. He couldn't stop.

It felt like an eternity had passed by the time he finally had gotten the CPR to work. She began to cough profusely, water spluttering everywhere. He sobbed as he heard her shallow breaths break through the air.

He heard the noise of Dick's voice breaking. "Mom?"

He looked at him, seeing both him and Damian staring at the scene in front of them. Staring as their father held their mother in his arms. As tears fell from his eyes, he pleaded for them to call 911.

It was with shaky hands that Dick did it. His words sounded choked back, he kept stuttering. Trying to say what he was supposed to but his mind was running at a million miles and and half a mile a second at the same time. Everything felt fuzzy and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. All that he knew was that he walked in on his dad doing CPR on his mom.

That was all he knew.

That was all Dick knew.

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obsessivelyloved · 6 months ago

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This was requested on one of my nsfw blogs but I went insane and made it 3,000 words long. So I can post most of it here lol. Just know that in my heart, this takes place in Arkham. Also I'm super rusty so I apologize if anything feels off/wonky. The ending is abrupt here bc the rest of it/the ending is nsfw. I was up til 5am writing this and I'm not writing a sfw ending for this blog until after i get more sleep.

Anon asks: I’m a big sucker for Psych Au fics. Reader is a cis female doctor who treats Tord with kindness. He becomes obsessed with her. Refuses to talk to any other doctor. Tord is always on his best behavior for her which leads her to let her guard down. BIG MISTAKE

___________________________________________________________

“You dropped this.”

The man stares at you wide eyed as you hand him his lighter. He stands, rigid. You give him a gentle smile and press it into his palm, your other hand curling around the back of his hand.

“I know there’s no fluid in it, so you don’t have to worry about me taking it,” you say to him. You pat his hand and step away.

The man turns fully towards you and you’re able to read the name sewed onto his shirt.

“I-” the man- Tord- swallows hard. He quickly pockets the lighter. “Thank you.”

You give him another smile and walk past him. He seemed to be going the same way as you but he never caught up. Nor did you hear footsteps behind you. Once you reach the director’s office, he leaves your thoughts. You were determined to make a good first impression on your first day of the job.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take you long to get to the breakroom. A few people were there but they paid you no mind. They sit, hunched over lunch or their own files. You sit and start to read.

Løvik Tord

3 7 2 5 9

DOB: 1995

Age: 28

Hair: Dark brown with lighter brown roots

Eye: Silver

You end up skimming through this until you get to the bottom of the page. It wasn’t… pretty.

CASE INFORMATION:

He is extremely aggressive towards Dr. Bruce (see page 20).

You stop reading there, your chest feeling tight. You flip to page twenty. It’s not the last page like you had hoped. There were still…. Quite a bit in the file.

It is unknown how and where he had gotten his hands on a sharp long blade. Tord was seen licking the blood of-

“Don’t worry if you can’t fix him. At this point, Doctor Markman hands his case off to fresh blood to showcase this place. No one expects you to be able to tame him.”

You startle at the voice, goosebumps raised on your arms. “I’m sorry?” you ask with a polite smile. Anger clouded your fear. What the hell was this person talking about?

The doctor, Alice, her name tag reads, smiles at you.

“Nearly everyone has tried working with him at this point,” she continues. “No one expects him to ever get better. He's here for murder, after all.”

You give her a tight smile in return. “I’ll just have to see for myself.”

Before she can keep going, you straighten up the papers and close the folder.

“I appreciate the advice, but I must be going now,” you lie through your teeth. What bullshit! What kind of doctors run this place?

You storm out of the breakroom and wander.

“I was hoping I’d see you again.”

Tord grins at you as he’s escorted in. His hands are cuffed and before he can sit down, the guard pats him down.

It makes your stomach churn but you keep your face kind.

“It’s nice to see you too,” you greet. You watch cautiously as he sits down in the plush chair. The guard leaves the room.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

“You used to dye your hair?”

Tord raises an eyebrow. He tilts his head a little, eyes focused solely on you. It unnerves you almost as much as his file had. No patient of yours had ever stared at you so intensely in the past….

After a moment, he answers. “Yes. I fancied black quite a bit.” He gestures towards his roots. “It’s been a while since Bruce got me more dye. No one else will.”

“I could look into it,” you clasp your hands, jumping into this opportunity. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to Doctor Marksman.”

“And what do you want from me in return?”

“I’m sorry?”

His gaze hardens. “What. do. You. want.” He grinds out, his body rigid in the chair. His hands were clenched.

Without thinking, puzzlement falls across your face. What did he mean? What did you want? For him to get better, obviously.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

“Is that really what you want?” Tord asks, an emotion you can’t quite place in his voice. “To help me get better?”

Whatever it may be, you smile at him.

“Of course. I want nothing but to see you succeed and be happy here.”

(“I know I wasn’t,” you had laughed. “I tossed and turned, jumping at each sound all night.”

“I’m sure your boyfriend was quite displeased.”

It had been three months since he last fought another patient. Two months since he assaulted another doctor. And five months since he refused treatment of any kind.

You happily reheat your leftovers and watch tv for a while before you get ready for bed. Unfortunately, your mood does come crashing down.

Another loud sound booms through your apartment. Only this time, it sounds like a crash.

“It’s just thunder,” you tell yourself. “Nothing to be afraid of.” You lay back down. Your eyes shut and you’re just about drifting to sleep when your door creeks open.

You bolt up, knowing damn well that your cat can’t open doors and you freeze.

Your heart races as your mind tries to process just who was in front of you.

Useless information floods your brain.

“I’m home, sweetheart,” he rasps. His grin is soft in the moonlight. He reaches over to flick on your bedroom light.

He’s gentle he’s kind he’s sweet he’s-

He’s covered in blood.

Tord steps forward and you’re frozen in bed. His eyes are wild as they drink you in. There’s blood on his hands. In his hair. Splatters on his face.

“Oh honey how I’ve dreamed of this,” he croons at the foot of your bed. “Your apartment is just as cute as you described.”

#tw yandere #yandere tw #yandere tord #yandere tord x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere fic #yandere x you #yandere x female reader

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unclewarwick · 4 months ago

Text

i am making this an art blog now, so i thought i should actually start posting my art here. i finished this drawing today and the rest of the art in this post is from newest to oldest. this post is most of my batman-related art since the last time i posted a big amount of batman art (which was december 2022).

i have a heavy preference for drawing batjokes but am trying to draw more and more of the rogues gallery. i have my own vague storyline ideas that include both batman and the joker being trans men, but in my story he is called bruceman/bat wayne.

2024-07-10 -- i do an annual redraw of this meme. this was the fifth version. the first time i drew it (in 2021) was the first time i had tried to properly draw either of them, despite having a deep batman interest for a long long time, and drawing for even longer.

2024-06-28 -- i spent 41 and a half hours on this one. my first big attempt at pixel art. it was from a bad chronic illness week so it was meant as a purposely ugly and simple drawing but it spiralled out of control.

2024-07-05 and 2024-05-11 -- my concept art for the scarecrow.

2024-04-22 and 2024-03-21 and 2024-02-11 -- the joker taunting bat wayne, an argument with alfred, a community meme redraw that i didn't like the end result of but was unwell while drawing so i give myself a break.

2024-02-08 and 2024-02-06 -- the riddler being desperate for attention on social media, my two-face concept art

2024-01-27 -- my take on the oft-parodied the amazing spider-man #601 cover art.

2024-01-18 -- joker thinks he's being sneaky but doesn't know he's with the same person twice.

2024-01-11 and 2024-01-10 -- catwoman being fun and sillie (from before i redesigned her weird mask and goggles that i originally tried to give her)

art from 1 and 8 december of 2023 that i posted on here

both from 2023-09-10 -- a couple of quick low effort drawings from when i was feeling funky

2023-08-06 and 2023-08-13 and 2023-08-18 -- mini comic where you can see the comic formatting skill developing in each part.. just a small story idea i had revolving around a double joke about bat wayne's Identity. and still figuring out how to draw the riddler.

2023-08-02 -- my first depiction of riddler & first drawing of har-lee (my name for harley quinn) out of costume.

2023-06-18 and 2023-06-15 -- my first drawings ever of har-lee; i did not stick with this costume design for her because i fixed it and made it actually look good and make sense at all a whole year later (character design is my weakness), and also just a simple meme.

youtube

2023-06-15 -- i don't have an animation program, so making this was a real struggle.

2023-04-28 and 2023-04-23 -- bruceman picking up tampons in the middle of a fight, bruceman and joker "fighting".

2023-04-04 and 2023-03-21 -- Earring Magic J, joker being the autistic, gay, trans dad of autistic, gay, trans pee-wee herman (including muffin the cat from batman: legends of the dark knight #50)

all from 2022-11-14 -- a comic Not about being trans, no, not at all...

2022-11-27 -- a fully rendered version of the last panel.

there's more that's not included here because of the 30 image limitation, but those are mostly further concept drawings of har-lee that i didn't like, and lower quality joke drawings. one bigger thing i've left out are stills from an animatic/animation project i started quite a while back (it's not even my only WIP of that kind) and haven't continued progress on for a while. i would prefer to share that all at once whenever it's finished.

#aurt #caumics #animation #bruceman #batjokes #batman #the joker #long post

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autumnshighlady · 9 months ago

Text

I've Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 24)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: Eris is now High Lord, but the three of you have a serious talk

warnings: Feysand slander, tooth-rotting fluff and adorableness to make up for the emotional last few chapters

word count: 5.5k

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n: to those of you who thought the last chapter was the end, do not fear! There's still 5-10 more chapters to go. But the poor reader finally gets a break. This is a chill chapter with lots of fluff as a little treat, enjoy

part 1 // part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12 / part 13 / part 14 / part 15 / part 16 / part 17 / part 18 / part 19 / part 20 / part 21 / part 22 / part 23

read on ao3

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

It had been three days since Eris killed Beron in the dungeons. After it was done, the new High Lord ordered Azriel to take you to your room, where you would be guarded and seen by servants for your injuries. You had protested, wanting to join your mates in dealing with the aftermath of the days’ events, but were quickly shot down.

“Absolutely not.” Eris had said sternly. “You have been beaten senseless and need time to heal. There are going to be lots of angry individuals and people attempting to challenge me, and I will not have you anywhere near that. We will find you when things settle down, I promise.”

Additionally, he had mentioned that he would be blaming his father and brother’s death on Hybern assassins – they had snuck into the castle in an attempt to wipe out the Vanserra bloodline while they slept. The story was that Beron had been slain during his late night walk around the dungeons, the assassins had attempted to kill you as well, but Malgorm died defending you. Hence an explanation for your injuries and a way to keep you sheltered from the chaos of Eris’s transition to High Lord.

The idea that Malgorm would be perceived as a noble hero in the narrative made you roll your eyes, but Eris assured you that there wasn’t a single individual in this court who didn’t know how vile Malgorm truly was. It made you feel slightly better.

You had been bored out of your mind for the past three days. Your injuries were almost fully healed, thanks to the work of the healers. Nesta had come to visit you a few times, brushing your hair or holding you in her arms until you fell asleep again. You yearned for the additional comfort of Eris’s presence, but he was understandably busy. Nesta insisted he was remorseful for his lack of time to see you, but you could feel it through the bond already.

Part of you was still angry with Eris for hiding his knowledge of the bond. Deep down, you knew he did it out of concern for your safety, but even though you had come to terms with the idea of Eris being your mate, the betrayal still stung. You tried to ignore it – Eris had worked so hard and sacrificed so much to help you and Nesta, the least you could do was give him the benefit of the doubt. But with everything that had happened, there hadn’t been a good time to talk about it with him yet.

Lirilla had also paid you one or two visits over the past three days. She had thanked you over a dozen times, tearfully expressing how she owed you an eternal debt for bringing her back at the cost of never seeing your own mother again if you were to die. You had teared up in response, a hundred different emotions running through you. At first, you had expected to feel some faint resentment, knowing your mother’s soul had brought back the Lady of Autumn.

But there was none. In fact, you had an opportunity few others had – to say a proper goodbye to a departed loved one, and have one final moment wrapped in their embrace. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t cried into your pillow several times over the memory, clinging onto it as if it would fade away into the breeze. But somehow, having Lirilla alive and present helped you.

Night began to fall on the third day since Beron’s death, and it took you great effort to pry yourself out of the warm bubble bath a servant had drawn from you. Lavender and mint clung to your scent from the healing soaps you had used to scrub yourself raw, still feeling the sticky sensation of Malgorm’s blood being painted over you. No matter how many times you bathed, it wouldn’t go away.

After putting on a pale grey nightgown, you settled into bed to read when a soft knock sounded at your door. The inside of your chest warmed and fluttered like a cat purring, and you felt the bond glow with happiness. You knew who it was before the door even opened. “Come in, Nesta.” You called out, propping yourself up on the lush green pillows.

Nesta entered your room, still wearing her dark red dress from dinner. Half her hair was pulled back into a braid, the other half cascading down her back in elegant waves. In her hand was a plate of fresh strawberries, the unmistakable rich smell of chocolate coming from the small bowl beside the fruit.

Your mouth watered. “Please tell me those are for me.”

“No, I brought them all this way just to make you watch me eat them in front of you.” Nesta said dryly, closing the door behind her. “Of course they’re for you. I snagged them from dessert. Figured you’d want some.”

“Obviously.” You said, shifting more to the centre of the bed and patting the space next to you. The bed was absolutely massive, leaving tons of room for the female to come sit beside you. After kicking off her shoes and sliding under the thick covers, she settled the plate carefully on her lap. Wordlessly, you curled into Nesta’s side, resting your head on her chest and sighing contently. Slender fingers came up to tangle themselves in your hair, gently caressing the locks. Nesta’s free hand reached down and grabbed a strawberry, dipping it in the chocolate before bringing it to your lips. Eagerly, you lifted your head slightly and moaned as warm dark chocolate hit your tongue, along with the sweet taste of the freshest strawberry you’d ever had.

“Mmm…” You mumbled, swallowing the delicacy. “I could die happy right now.”

With the hand that was stroking your hair, Nesta smacked you lightly. “Don’t you dare even joke about that,” She scolded. “You’ve had too many close calls for that to be even remotely funny.”

“Whatever. Feed me another chocolate covered strawberry and I’ll shut up about it.”

Nesta rolled her eyes but obliged, and you rested your head back on her chest after swallowing. You couldn’t help but notice how different she was now from when you first met her in the House of Wind. Her body had filled out, soft flesh hiding the brittle bones that used to stick out from underneath her pale skin. For Nesta to be relaxed enough to be this close to you as a huge change. She was not on edge, body tense and flinching with every shift in movement. Even when you had tentatively held her hand or brushed your knee against hers while in the Night Court, she seemed afraid of the contact, always tensing before relaxing into you.

Now, she showed no signs of anxiety. You knew that physical touch was not something that Nesta was used to, but you could tell through the bond that she was comfortable doing it with you.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Nesta asked, noting your silence.

“You.” You said truthfully.

She snorted. “Care to elaborate?”

“You’re different now.” You admitted, choosing your words carefully.

But her voice was curious, not defensive as she spoke. “How so?”

“I feel like you’re more… you. You’re not putting up a wall anymore. You seem more comfortable in your own skin, that’s all.”

You felt Nesta rest her cheek on the top of your head. “I do. You’ve helped me with that.”

You shook your head. “No, Nesta. That was all you.”

“Perhaps. But you being there by my side throughout all of this has helped.”

You hesitated before asking the question that had been lingering in the back of your mind for a while now. “Do you have any regrets about doing this?”

A moment of silence filled the room. Part of you had constantly asked yourself if you were dragging Nesta into your plan too much. As much as you knew she wanted out of the Night Court, to switch courts so quickly after having her entire life uprooted by the Cauldron was a drastic change.

“No.” Nesta said confidently. “Not for a second. I have no desire to return to the Night Court. While I will always love my sisters, it is clear that they care about their image more than what is truly best for me. I have no place there in their little found family, and that does not bring me any sadness. Now, I am free to make my own decisions free of their scrutiny, and that brings me comfort. So no, I don’t regret taking this journey with you.”

You closed your eyes, the rhythmic stroking of Nesta’s fingers through your hair making you tired. “We have to talk about Cassian at some point. About all of us, about what comes next.”

You felt Nesta sigh. You knew she didn’t want to talk about Cassian, and neither did you. But he was convinced that he is Nesta’s mate, something that could potentially bring a threat. If he invoked a blood duel, Eris would certainly win with his new power as High Lord. But you? You stood no chance against the Lord of Bloodshed.

“You’re right.” Nesta said slowly. “But I think we need to wait for Eris before we have this conversation. It involves him, too.”

“You’re right. When will I get to see him?”

“He said he’d come here after his last meeting. He should be here soon.”

You sat up, reaching for the plate and grabbing another chocolate covered strawberry. You felt a bit of the chocolate smear on the side of your lip as you ungracefully popped the strawberry into your mouth, attempting to keep the expensive duvet free of mess.

“You’ve got something on your face.” Nesta snorted.

You rolled your eyes at her. “Wow, I didn’t notice. Thank you so much for pointing–”

Your sentence trailed off as Nesta reached down and slowly wiped the chocolate off your lip with her finger. You watched with wide eyes as she then took that chocolate covered finger and closed her lips around it, sucking the chocolate off. Her blue-grey eyes never left yours as she did so, making your body tingle.

“That was one of the top five hottest things you've done.” You said, causing Nesta to raise an eyebrow.

“Oh, you have a list now, do you?” She murmured, amusement across her sharp face.

You shrugged nonchalantly, but heat flooded your cheeks. Truthfully, everything Nesta did was absolutely mesmerising to you. It was almost impossible to actually think of five moments that stood out. “Maybe.” Was all you mumbled in response.

Nesta simply chuckled, then leaned down and sensually pressed her lips to yours. You moaned into her mouth, melting into the touch. It was different from the tender two kisses you shared previously – ones that were gentle and soft, as if you were both afraid that the other would disappear from in front of you at any moment. No, this kiss was more passionate, sending goosebumps up your arms despite the warmth of the room. She tasted like chocolate and wine, and it took all your self control not to simply melt right there and then.

When Nesta eventually pulled away, she cradled your head back into her chest. You were so comfortable, encased in the expensive fabric of the lush bedsheets and cuddled up against Nesta’s side. A distinct knock on the door snapped you back to consciousness. “Three guesses who that is.” You muttered groggily.

Nesta snorted, but called out, “Come in, Eris.”

Surely enough, the door swung open to reveal Eris. His red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and he was dressed in his sleepwear of a white tunic with long, billowy sleeves tucked into loose brown pants. Despite the casual look, the soft hum of power coming from the male made it hard to mistake him as anything other than a High Lord.

“How’d you know it was me?” Eris asked, closing the door behind him as he sauntered into your room.

“Oh please, you knock like a pampered princess.” You said playfully, popping another strawberry in your mouth.

Eris narrowed his eyes at the delicately placed bowl of melted chocolate on Nesta’s thigh. “Please tell me you’re not getting chocolate on my expensive bed sheets.”

“You’re High Lord, can’t you just use your fancy new power to remove any spills?”

“Ugh, please don’t remind him he’s High Lord.” Nesta insisted, rolling her eyes. “It’ll get to that pretty head of his and he’ll become even more insufferable than he already is. Besides, he hardly needs reminding with how much he throws his new title in everyone’s faces every two seconds.”

You laughed, causing Eris to look down at you from where he was standing at the end of the bed, pressing a pale hand to his chest with mock hurt. “Your cruelty wounds me,” He sighed. “I do not know what I did to deserve such treatment.”

“You make it too easy.” You patted the space next to you on your other side. Eris scoffed, but peeled back the covers and crawled under them anyway, sliding right next to you and resting his back against one of the many pillows behind you. You leaned forward and grabbed another chocolate covered strawberry, bringing it up in front of his face. “Here you go, oh mighty High Lord.” You said dramatically.

The male raised an eyebrow, but kept his amber eyes on yours as he leaned forward and gently took the fruit from your hand with his mouth, lips brushing your fingers ever so slightly. You suppressed a shiver at the sensation, trying to ignore Eris’s moan as he savoured the rich chocolate. You straightened up, no longer leaning against Nesta’s chest but instead still keeping your shoulder pressed against hers.

“Delicious.” Eris muttered after swallowing. “And exactly what I needed after today.”

“What did you get up to today?” You asked. “Or any of the past three days, since I haven’t been allowed outside of this room to see for myself.”

Eris shot you a light glare. “As both of us have explained to you several times, you are in here because we need to wait until things settle for a few days. Right now, you are vulnerable. Both physically and in terms of your position as an unwed and unengaged female. While I intend to eliminate anyone with the same mindset as my father regarding females of your status who refuse to change, they might not yet be revealing themselves. Many have tried to challenge me these past few days, and every one of them has been turned to ash. I need to ensure nobody will come after you.”

You sighed, knowing Eris was right. A female like you without ties to a male would be an easy target for those looking to cling to Beron’s ways. You briefly wondered exactly how many people Eris had slain in his first few days of being High Lord, but dared not ask. “Did everyone believe the story about Hybern assassins being responsible?” You chose to ask instead.

“Mostly.” Eris said. “Those who seemed suspicious have been dealt with. But it matters not. I am High Lord now, and the court knows that if they dare question how I came to be in this position, they will not live to see the next sunrise.”

“So what happens now?” Nesta spoke up. “With the three of us, I mean. And we still have the Night Court to deal with, not to mention Cassian.”

“Given your sister’s situation with her pregnancy, I believe the Night Court will be occupied by that for the next while.” Eris said. “She is due soon, is she not?”

Nesta nodded, but said nothing.

“Can we help Feyre?” You asked hesitantly, feeling Nesta’s turmoil through the bond. While she did not part on good terms with her sister, you could tell she felt anguish at the idea of Feyre dying because of this pregnancy. And as much as you disliked the High Lady, you did not wish such a fate upon her either.

Eris spoke with caution. “I have spoken with our best healers. And to be truthful, yes, we have the means of removing the baby surgically rather than having little Archeron try to deliver the child naturally. But I do not think it’s a question of whether or not we can, but whether or not we should.”

You blinked in surprise, feeling Nesta tense beside you. “What do you mean?” You asked. “If we have a way to save her life, why not use it?”

Eris shifted slightly, turning on his side to face you. “Because it is leverage we can use against them. A bargaining tool. We could promise to save the High Lady’s life on the condition that they leave us alone, permanently. That they are never to enter our court without permission, including the brute.”

You bit your tongue. Nesta was silent beside you, her expression unreadable. “Nesta?” You asked quietly, pressing your arm into her. “What do you think we should do?”

There was a minute of silence before she straightened her spine, grey eyes finally landing on you and Eris as she spoke. “The Feyre I knew who went under the mountain is gone.” She said, her voice like steel. “Once she accepted the mating bond, she changed. Rhys changed her. The Feyre I knew would never just sit by and let her mate make the decisions for her. The Feyre I knew would never have sent me to be locked up if Rhys hadn’t planted the idea in her head first. She used Elain as a bargaining chip to strong arm me into doing her bidding. If she has no qualms about using our lives for her own gain, then I have no issue doing the same with hers. But under one condition. Feyre has to agree to it. Hers is the only opinion that matters. Rhys cannot accept the terms, only she can. It will be her choice, and her choice alone.”

Eris nodded respectfully. “Very well then. Once everything settles further over the next week or so, I will set up a meeting with the Night Court and we can propose our bargain.”

“Cassian can’t be there.” Nesta said suddenly. “I can’t see him. Please.”

“We won’t let him try and take you,” You grabbed her hand, holding it reassuringly. “I promise.”

Nesta bit her lip, worry lining her features. “He thinks we’re mates. I don’t trust him not to try something.”

“Cassian does not stand a chance against us.” Eris said calmly, fiddling with the emerald ring on his finger. “Although I am curious as to why he is acting like a mated male when Estelle said he is not mated to you, Nesta. There’s something else at work here, maybe having him at the meeting will allow us to figure out what it is.”

Nesta hesitated, but exhaled softly. “Fine. Cassian can be there. But the dragons will come to the meeting.”

“They will be delighted.” Eris chuckled. “I am sure they will happily eat anyone who dares protest against our lovely mating bonds.”

You went still, the soft sheets of the bed suddenly stifling. Aside from your brief moment after saving Lirilla, you hadn’t yet acknowledged or discussed your mating bond with Eris yet. With Nesta it was easier, as you had plenty more time together to mull things over. But with Eris, it all happened so fast. The High Lord duties swept him away from you before you could even propose the discussion.

“Eris…” You said carefully after a few moments. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew we were mates?”

At first, the male did not reply. Eris Vanserra usually had a witty reply for everything, a silver tongue that came up with a response within a half second no matter how unprepared he was for the question. So you turned to face him. Eris’s expression was one of regret, tender sadness in his usually stone cold eyes. But the mask was off. He had no need for it anymore.

“There were so many things happening at once.” Eris said slowly. “I did not know how you would react, truthfully. We all needed to be focused, just until we were safe from my father. I did not want to risk compromising what I’ve been working towards for years. It is selfish, I am well aware. But it is the truth. If you knew about the bond, who knows how different things could have been? And if anyone found out, it would be used against us. I could not let that happen.”

The High Lord swallowed thickly, his slender hand gently coming to cover your fingers as he continued. “I know what a breach of trust this was, little fox, especially after you put your faith in me. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it, because I selfishly cannot stand the idea of you hating me for it.”

You inhaled a shaky breath, wetness lining your eyes. You felt Nesta rubbing your back comfortingly, as if she, too, felt your pain through the bond. “I don’t hate you for it.” You said quietly. “I understand your reasoning, I just wish none of this had to be this way.”

Eris smiled sadly. “I wish that very much, too. Although this path has led me to you, to Nesta. So despite everything, I have no other regrets about how things played out.”

“Me too.” Nesta said from behind you, squeezing your shoulder. “It was all worth it to get out of that situation, to end up with both of you.”

Your heart fluttered as you smiled. Even though the past months have been hell, they lead you to Nesta and Eris. Everything you had been through, it was all worth it to get here. Because you knew that even though the horrors you had endured would keep you up at night, you’d have your mates to ease the pain.

But your smile faded as reality sunk back in. “What about the wedding?” You asked. “If you two are getting married, where does that leave me? I know marriage is a sham at the end of the day, and the mating bond is what truly connects us. But I admit that I will not feel like an equal if you two are wed.”

You felt the bed shift as Eris straightened beside you. A hint of a blush came over his cheeks as he coughed before speaking. “Well, I thought of a solution for that. It’s a bit outlandish, and something that would definitely make the majority of this court lose their minds over it. And don’t be afraid to tell me I am a fool for this, Mother knows everyone else will be–”

“Eris.” Nesta said sharply, cutting off the male’s rambling. “Spit it out already.”

You could feel Eris’s nerves in your chest as if they were your own. You had never seen him so flustered before, so unsure of what to say.

“Well,” He continued, taking a deep breath. “It is not unheard of in Pythian’s history for a High Lord to take two wives…”

“You’d want to marry both of us?” Nesta said incredulously.

Eris blushed further, his eyes narrowing angrily at the heat of his cheeks. “Well, it would be a good way to ensure you are both protected–”

“Stop.” You cut him off firmly, squeezing his hand. Eris was silenced immediately, doubt flickering in his eyes as if he were afraid this would happen. “Fuck the political scheming and doing everything for the sake of a plan. We’ve made it this far, guys. It’s time to think about what we want, not what we should do. So, Eris, what do you want?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to have you both as my wives…”

Nesta snorted. “A heartfelt proposal, Eris. Well done.”

Eris shot a playful glare at the female. “Smartass. Watch it, or I’ll leave your finger without a ring and keep (Y/N) all to myself.”

“Oh, please. You’re too obsessed with me to do that.”

“I am afraid you are right, Nesta Archeron.”

The three of you laughed, the harmony of it echoing throughout the spacious room like a song. But Nesta’s serious tone returned, cutting the laughter off. “But seriously, Eris, are you proposing this because this is what you want, or because of the mating bond?”

Eris shifted as he reached forward, taking each of you and Nesta’s hands in his own. The authority of the High Lord rang in his voice as he spoke, his amber eyes meeting Nesta’s blue-grey ones. “Make no mistake, I am happy about the mating bond. But it does not create this desire from nothing. It merely amplifies what is already there. The desire to marry you, Nesta, began the day we danced together in the Hewn City. I knew then that I wanted you as my equal at my side. I wanted you because you were you, sharp tongue and all, not because a mating bond made it be so.”

Eris then turned to face you. “The desire to marry you, (Y/N), began the day you came to me with your plan. I saw your resilience, your brilliant mind, and I wanted you. Not for your magic, or your connection to the Mother. I didn’t even know you were my mate then, or that you possessed a unique power, and I wanted you. My desire for both of you did not come from wanting something from you, or because of a mating bond. You asked me what I wanted, (Y/N), and this is it. I want you and Nesta as my equals, my wives, my High Ladies by my side. If that is what you wish, of course.”

You teared up, seeing Nesta do the same. Eris spoke so fiercely, so passionately it pulled at your heart strings. All this time, you had prepared yourself to see Eris and Nesta marry for political convenience, leaving you on the side with your secret ancient vows to Nesta that could never be shared with the outside world. You had prepared yourself to put aside your feelings for Eris, and your feelings for Nesta, to once again make a sacrifice for the ones you loved.

But you didn’t have to do that. Somehow, along the way Nesta and Eris had fallen for each other. And you had fallen for Eris, and he for you. The bond the three of you shared was deeper than any mating bond – it was a bond of survival, of fighting for a better life. A life you now couldn’t imagine sharing with anyone else.

“I would like that very much.” You said through tears, squeezing Eris’s hand.

“And I as well.” Nesta said softly. “Although I never thought of being High Lady.”

“You are both free to pass on that,” Eris said. “It would simply be an added bonus. But you both have enough power to be my equal as High Ladies, and you would be free to be as involved or removed from court politics as you wish.”

You glanced at Nesta, meeting her eyes. You knew Nesta had never possessed any ambitions to become a leader. She was content to simply exist in her own life, as long as she had control over it.

But this opportunity Eris was presenting could be used to help people. All you wanted was to make Autumn safe for females in a way Rhysand failed to do with his own court. Perhaps instead of relying on Eris to make it happen, you could do it yourself. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” You said.

“Me neither.” Nesta replied, nodding. “If my sister can be High Lady, so can I.”

“Feyre Archeron does not know how to run a court,” Eris snorted. “You’re the sister much better suited to the job.”

“One more thing.” You interjected, turning to Nesta. “Technically, we are already married due to the spell we used to create the daemati bond. But I would like to redo it, with a proper wedding. That way, the world will know that we aren’t just married to Eris, but to each other as well. I want everyone to know you’re just as much mine as Eris’s. If you’ll have me.”

It was not how you could have ever imagined proposing to Nesta, fumbling over your words so casually as if you were suggesting trying a new food for lunch. But it felt right. You wanted to be married to Nesta properly, in the eyes of the world. True, you had known her for less than a year. But you knew in your heart you would want to marry her eventually – why not now while she was already marrying Eris?

Nesta’s lips twitched for a second, as if she were instinctively fighting off her smile. But then her face loosened, and she allowed her smile to stretch across her cheeks fully. “Of course I’ll have you, you fool.” She said softly. “Without a shadow of a doubt.”

“In that case, I shall inform the priestess so she can modify the ceremony.” Eris said, grinning in a way that made your heart sing. “If my father could see this, he would lose his mind. As will many members of the court, probably. Having two High Ladies married to each other and me will be a lot for them to comprehend.”

“It’s actually possible, right?” Nesta asked him. “For all three of us to be married?”

“There is no law or religious text that prevents it, my dear.” Eris reassured her. “It will be legitimate, I swear.”

You smiled, another tear of happiness slipping down your cheek. “So this is really happening, we’re all getting married?”

Eris nodded. “Yes, love. We are. And we can take as much time as we want to plan the wedding so it’s exactly how we want it, not how my father wanted it to be. It will be a day about all three of us.”

It was like a heavy boulder had been lifted off your chest. All of the anxiety of the past few weeks was gone, replaced by pure happiness at the idea of marrying Nesta and Eris. Before, the talk of a wedding filled you with dread, a reminder that you were engaged to a cruel male who would delight in torturing you however he could. The idea of a wedding made you feel sick, and sad at the same time knowing you’d have no say in any of the planning.

But with Eris as High Lord and your soon to be new position as High Lady, everything would be different. You would be able to pick out your dress, the flowers, the cake, everything. After months and months of having no control over your life, you were finally taking the reins back.

You wrapped your arms around Eris, pulling him in for a tight embrace. “Thank you.” You muttered.

When Eris pulled away, his amber eyes burned into yours. It ignited something in you, making your blood sing as his voice dropped as he spoke. “I know by tradition I am supposed to wait until the wedding to kiss my brides. But I would really like to kiss you now. Both of you.”

“Fine by me.” You said, your heart racing and drowning out the sound of your own voice.

Eris smirked, his hands coming up to either side of your face to cup your jaw. Towering over you, he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to your own. Instantly, it was like a tidal wave of lust surged through the bond, as you melted into his mouth. It wasn’t the seductive, claiming kiss you had expected an Autumn court male like Eris to give. It was just as sensual, but softer, like a warm hearth rather than blazing wildfire. It was a kiss of love, of promise for a better world.

Your hands brushed the fabric of Eris’s tunic as he kissed you, and you felt the male shiver beneath your touch. When his lips finally abandoned yours, you let out an involuntary whine at the loss of contact.

“Don’t worry, darling,” Eris purred, his thumb stroking your cheek. “There will be plenty of time for more later.”

The High Lord then turned towards Nesta, taking her hands in his own. You watched as he leaned forward, kissing her with the same tenderness he had with you. Nesta’s eyes fluttered closed at the contact, her body relaxing. They were like a scene from a painting. Nesta’s wavy locks contrasting with the fiery straight hair of Eris, their heads angled so perfectly as their lips moulded together with longing.

As you watched your mates kiss, you felt no jealousy. No anger. No feeling of exclusion. You only felt love – happiness that the two people you cared for most loved each other just as much as you loved them.

taglist (comment if you want to be added): @queercontrarian @kitkat-writes-stuff @moonfawnx @sevikas-whore @weird-and-wise @jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet @kingshitonly @ladyofcherries @eerievixen @readingwritingwatching @peacecoffeeandflowers @a-frog-with-a-laptop @shadowqueen25 @lana08 @highladyofillyria @rachelnicolee @ladespedidas @little-darlingo @manonblackbeakquidditchteam13 @demirunner @terorovaerangi @hauntedandhopeful @younxii @microwaveallthedemons @fanfictioniseverything @lovra974 @maddietheshoe @peaceandcrackers @emy1-9 @lostinfantasyworldsbi @issybee0611 @thoughtfulshepherdmongerkid @belledawnidk @whhyyynottt @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @littlebbb @piceous21 @sevendeadlyshins-blog @searchingford @marigold-morelli @thesapphiclibrarian @nikovasbitch @chasing-autumns-chill @the-sweet-psycho @honeysuckle-daydreams13 @red-bees @daughterofthemoons-stuff @bloodicka

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gloryy-vs · 2 years ago

Text

Huntress’ Call

Chapter 2 : People You Know

chapter 1 || next || chapter 4

characters: Neteyam x reader, Jake, Neytiri, Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk, Sky People, Quaritch

ratings: sfw, violence, war, angsty, enemies to friends to lovers, warrior, aggression

characters: Neteyam x reader, Jake, Neytiri, Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk, Sky People, Quaritch

Your Ikran landed last, and you hopped off quickly, bow in hand as you could already see your mother pacing anxiously with your father trying to comfort her. The beads in your hair clicked and clacked with each harsh step, and your mother turned her head. Her face went stiff, “Do you wish to meet Eywa? Why have we not received word that you’d be-“ Your father placed a firm hand on her shoulder, calming her as Jake approached with a smile.

“It’s nice to see you two again. I was the one who called for her, she did amazing today. I should’ve done it in advance but we really needed her today. Which brings me to my next point.” Jake said with respect to you in his voice. “I’d like to invite her to our scouts, my family and I really appreciate all the help….” His voice trailed off as he walked away with your family to their hut. You were left standing alone, rubbing away the fatigue from your limbs. Your brother was getting patched up by Mo’at and Kiri, while Tuk was racing around with Neytiri. Lo’ak and Neteyam stood together, and the eldest looked stiff and conflicted as he passionately explained something.

Tilting your head, your braids tickled against your lower back, ending just to where your hips were. Making your way to the pair, you stood next to Neteyam, and Lo’ak slapped his arm quickly to shut him up, nodding to your direction.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” You said, eyes trailing from Neteyams toned chest to his eyes. His eyes were warm fro a split second before he realized you looked up at the same time he did. “No, no you’re good sis.” Lo’ak said kindly. You remember when he first gave you that nickname when you three were kids. Back then you three were inseparable, Neteyam and you were stitched the the hip. Neytiri and your mother cracked jokes about you two mating, but now it seems like the chemistry faded. Your demeanor changed ever since you hit 15, and Neteyam was 16. Now at 19, and 20, you two were simply awkward around each other. It bothered you, but you supposed the older brother title got to him, and caused him to drift from you. While you had to keep up with the fierce female warrior trope everyone placed on you the past year and a half ago.

“Well…today went well. You two did very well with communicating, and..telling your dad about my brother.” You said, awkwardly thanking Neteyam and Lo’ak for altering Jake about your brother being in trouble.

“Not a problem.” Neteyam said curtly, nodding his head in the process and he avoided looking at you. Lo’ak could sense the tension, scratching the sides of his head uncomfortably. “I think I forgot to tell dad something, I’ll be back.” He said, walking backwards slowly before turning around fully. Neteyam tried to follow without saying a word to you, but your hand gripped onto his arm tightly.

“What is the matter with us? Why have you been avoiding my existence. The last four years we have been nothing..” You said, visibly irritated.

“We have always been nothing. I don’t know why you’d assume tha-“ He started, but swiped his hand down his face in irritation that matched yours. “You’ve changed. Not in a bad sense but..” His eyes raked down your body and back at your piercing gold eyes. “It all just changed. It’s not the same.” Neteyam said, holding his arms out to make some kind of point that it was obvious.

“What?! Because we’ve both matured? Well if we wanna talk about maturity you’re being pretty childish.” You said, offended he’d even try and blame a natural princess for the reason why he was distancing himself.

It was true though, it was a childish move but he had nothing else to blame his distance on. He was just afraid of not matching your ferocity. You stepped closer to the chiefs son, pressing your chest against his. He was intimated at first but countered back, his face contorting to a stern expression. “What’re you doing.” He asked, words slipping past his slightly bared teeth.

“You don’t get uncomfortable with me this close, don’t wanna get any distance now?” You said, stepping closer each time he tried to step back.

Neteyam hissed lightly, “I don’t wanna play these damn games with you!” You responsed with a hiss from the back of your throat, “Then don’t lie to me!”

He scoffed, laughing as he turned his head away from you. It was far from a friendly laugh, but he knew you were testing him. “Then don’t ask me again.” He said, now really towering over you, his eyes having a hint of aggression behind them.

Your lip twitched, wanting to hiss in the elders face and show him you weren’t going to walk off scared, but that’s exactly what you did. You huffed, whipping your head around. The colorful beads in your hair whipped against his chest, and Neteyam jumped back, looking down at the beads at the ends of your hair and then back at you, seeing you walk away with anger in each step.

You ripped open the covering to your family’s tent, anger seething through you. Your parents stood up immediately, and Jake Sully followed shortly after. “My daughter, what is the matter?” Your father asked, a deep worry laced in his words. He stepped towards you, your back facing the rest of the audience. “That skxawng, Neteyam! He’s not like his old self. Nothing like that boy I grew up with!” You cried out, not out of sadness but out of anger.

Your father looked to Jake, worry in his eyes. Jake already knew the reasoning behind it, and had no experience with speaking on love and anything that was overly sappy with his children. It was a sensitive task he left to Neytiri. Your mother took a deep breath, placing a hand on Jake, “Thank you Jake; it was wonderfully catching up but, as you can see we have a bit of a….problem.” Your mother said, her eyes darting to your disheveled frame.

Jake nodded with a ghost of a laugh on his face; understanding the situation of having a daughter who could barely comprehend her emotions. The Leader left, thanking you once again before returning to his own family.

“Come my dear, sit and let me redbraid your hair. There is no thought to stress about young men. They will come and go.” Your mother said, pushing you to sit down so she could begin undoing your braids and beads. You wiped at your face and saw your father return with a stack of wet rags to remove the war paint from your azure skin.

It wasn’t often that you were doted on by your parents, but they respected on how well you grew up, a true warrior that fought for her people. Your mother put your old colorful beads aside, and instead wove in golden hand made charms and golden beads to keep a theme with your hair. “You grew to be a fine young woman. Have you not heard the talk of finding your mate?” Your mother brought up, but she made it obvious on what she was trying to say. It didn’t make you feel any better.

“Mother, not now. I cannot.” You said, holding your arm out as you father wiped away the paste. His eyes rose and met with your mothers. She urged him to say something by giving him a strained look.

“Jake Sully wants you to leave with him and his family. To the Metkayina.” Your head shot up, arm retracting instantly.

Your mothers mouth fell open, hand still on your hair in fear of what her husband just revealed. She shook her head aggressively, “Ma Tsarim! You were not supposed to say!” She said anxiously, already expecting your reaction to be negative.

“What do you mean?! He wants me to just leave the forest?! My home?! His home!?” Your eyes were wide, and you attempted to get up, but your mother yanked you down by the strand of hair she was braiding against your scalp. “He is discussing it with his own kin tonight. We agreed that it would be the best for you. To keep you safe. Ever since what almost to happened to his own children with that demon Quaritch.” He said, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of tears filling your eyes.

“I forgot all about that…” You said quietly. You didn’t get to know any details other than what your parents shared with you. In short you knew the Recom Avatars were hunting Jake and didn’t intend to stop.

“It is the best for you to avoid the forest for the time being. Te Suli announced to us that he will pass down the title of Olo’eyktan to me. He trusts this family yo watch over his people. Though I may bear the title of leader, what is best for the people is Jake.” Your father explained, stress coating his face. Yours doubled his action, tears flowing over your waterline and streaming down your face.

You felt your mothers hand on your shoulder, silently saying you were free to get up. The four braids that she wove dawned the golden charms and beads while the rest of your hair was down, naturally curly and soft like your mothers was. You wiped your face, holding her hand as a thank you before leaving the tent to process your thoughts.

You slumped against a tree, tears now free to fall for as long as you needed them to. You choked on your tears, the idea of leaving your home of beautiful nature for a place you weren’t even guaranteed refugee to. Especially away from your family, as they were left here in such a dangerous setting. You brought you knees beneath your chin, resting your head on the right knee cap, sniffling as you thought of each memory you made here. A hand rested on your head, and you felt someone’s pretense kneel next to you. It was Neteyam.

“I’m not happy about it either.” He said softly. You could see the tear stains on his face, but he dawned a weak smile in your direction.

“You know one thing about this life is that destiny always finds us to end up in the same situation” He said, eyes focusing on anything on the ground. You wrapped your hand around his wrist, bringing it down to hold it to your chest.

Taking your gaze from down at your legs; to his eyes. You desperately begged and questioned if this was a safe space for you. Neteyams lip quivered, nodding curtly. At that moment tears fell, and wouldn’t stop coming. You sobbed into his hand, and held onto one of your hands comfortingly. “We’ll be in it together. It’ll be fine.” Neteyam said, keeping his cool to not trigger anymore tears from you. It was his job to be the comfort, the mediator, and the protector.

This was the first, of what you could only guess, many times you let your facade fall in front of him. Time can only tell if he’ll do the same.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

Note

AITA for "feeding my ex's internalised transphobia" by refusing to date a man as a lesbian? TW for internalised transphobia, mentions of rape and SA

TLDR: i am a lesbian. my teenage partner was sexually abusive to me for a year, mostly through enforced sexist rp scenarios. now, they are out as non-binary and accuse me of misandry and transandrophobia because i once told them i would not date a man regardless of his agab

I (NB20) started dating my ex (NB23) when i was 15. I was always openly a lesbian. When we met a year before we started dating, they identified as a butch. Throughout our relationship they explored their gender identity more, toying with the idea of being vaguely transmasc. I never had a problem with it; i enjoyed being in a butch/femme relationship and honouring their masculinity as much as I could.

For context, I am a very outspoken hardcore feminist; I don't like to generalise and i have a lot of love for the men in my life, but I have also made a couple of "kill all cishet men" jokes at a safe setting, with people who know exactly where I actually stand. I don't hate men, I just don't find them attractive and think they should be raised better. One day, they asked me if i would still be attracted to them if they fully transitioned and started living as a man. I told them I wouldn't; in my head, being butch/masc is extremely different to being a man, and I appreciated their presentation as a part of them being a lesbian (gender expression =/= gender identity, after all). They assured me that this was just a hypothetical question and just them being curious about my boundaries and limits, ended the conversation, and never brought it up again. My ex was very into roleplay during sex, and I was on board with it initially. After a while, however, the scenes they wanted to act out began to get extremely degrading, bordering on abusive, where they were embodying a man in a position of power (something that i was extremely uncomfortable with), while I was a vulnerable woman (usually a sex worker) getting degraded or even raped. Although I was deeply disturbed by some of the things we did, I was a child at the time, they were my first and i wasn't theirs. I wasn't ready to have sex yet and didn't know how to defend myself. Even when I tried to set a boundary, they would press on and claim it was their way of processing trauma, and that I was manipulative for attempting to withhold that from them. Eventually, with the help of a therapist and my family I ended things between us. I dreaded talking to or about them to anyone and mostly kept quiet about it all. Back to the present day, one of my old mutuals found my new account and texted me. They told me that my ex was posting about me, and that I should be ashamed of myself if what they said was true. I gathered up enough courage to view the posts myself. Their story is very different from what I remember. They claim I was being a misandrist and by extension transandriphobic (in their words, my distaste for the behaviour of cishet men was very damaging for masc people. it is weird, because healthy expressions of masculinity are the last thing i would judge a man for). They also claimed I made their internalised transphobia worse by refusing to date them if they transitioned. I have moved on with my life, but now other people are mixed in and im honestly at a loss. I never forced them to be someone they weren't with me. I never shamed them for their masculinity or discouraged them from exploring their identity, I just stated that dating a trans man wouldn't agree with my sexuality. A healthy response would be to be honest with me, and give me the right to decide for myself whether i would stay with them through their transition or only be able to support them as a friend. They could even just leave without justifying anything.

I don't know. Maybe my trauma is blinding me, but I keep going over the memories in my head trying to figure out how I might be the one behind all that hatred and violence. I don't want to be unfair to them, even if it's just in my own mind, so I'm just speaking up about it for the first time in my life through an AITA tumblr post. Any advice or insight is appreciated.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #rape cw

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dufferpuffer · 3 months ago

Text

~~ Looking at Lycanthropy ~~

Part 5: Wolfsbane vs Wolf - Theories of Treatments

Looking at Lycanthropy (all parts)

Words: Approx. 4000

Potion Information Other Treatments

PRISONER OF AZKABAN

Chapter 8

pg 117 The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing. … … 'Fascinating,' said Snape, without looking at it. 'You should drink that directly, Lupin.'

- Wolfsbane is taken a goblet-full a day. - It should be taken directly, in one sitting. - It smokes faintly.

pg 118 'I made an entire cauldronful,' Snape continued. 'If you need more.' 'I should probably take some again tomorrow. Thanks very much, Severus.'

- Wolfsbane is made by the cauldronful. Since he is letting him know there is more – is this the first potion of the week...? - The same cauldronful can be kept for more than one days use.

'I have never been much of a potion-brewer and this one is particularly complex.' He picked up the goblet and sniffed it. 'Pity sugar makes it useless,' he added, taking a sip and shuddering. … … 'I've been feeling a bit off-colour,' he said. 'This potion is the only thing that helps. I am very lucky to be working alongside Professor Snape; there aren't many wizards who are up to making it.'- Wolfsbane is a complex potion. Not many wizards are up to making it.

- Sugar makes it useless. - It tastes awful. Love that either it has a flavor that might be palatable with some sugar – or Remus just wants to drown it in sweetness because he's that sort of guy.

Lupin drained the goblet and pulled a face.'Disgusting,' he said. 'Well, Harry, I'd better get back to work. I'll see you at the feast later.' … … The empty goblet was still smoking.

- Even empty – or with just drops left – it still smokes. Very smokey brew. Big vapours from this icky boy. Is it 'smoke', actually? Could very well just be a word to describe how it looks, when it is something entirely different. Harry should know the difference being a third year Potions student, but it could just be slang. - Gross enough to pull faces, even after taking it repeatedly. - Remus and Harry were having a chat – and as soon as the potion is done, he sends him away for the rest of the day... is it possible that it'll have side effects? Make him feel ill? Or does he want to catch up on all the 'disorganised', 'late' work Snape says exists? Chapter 11

pg 170 'I doubt,' said Dumbledore, in a cheerful but slightly raised voice, which put an end to Professor McGonagall and Professor Trelawney's conversation, 'that Professor Lupin is in any immediate danger. Severus, you've made the potion for him again?' 'Yes, Headmaster,' said Snape. 'Good,' said Dumbledore. 'Then he should be up and about in no time ... Derek, have you had any of these chipolatas? They're excellent.' The first year boy went furiously red on being addressed directly by Dumbledore, and took the platter of sausages with trembling hands.

- Wolfsbane improves recovery time post-Full Moon. (Love that's the reaction regular students have to being spoken to by Albus. They never see him outside of feasts, he doesn't go to Quidditch games, just paces his office. Same, dude – nice to the kids but avoid them 99% of the time lol)

Chapter 18

pg 258 'I was a very small boy when I received the bite. My parents tried everything, but in those days there was no cure. The Potion that Professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe, you see. As long as I take it in the week preceding the full moon, I keep my mind when I transform... I am able to curl up in my office, a harmless wolf, and wait for the moon to wane again.''Before the Wolfsbane Potion was discovered, however, I became a fully fledged monster once a month.It seemed impossible that I would be able to come to Hogwarts. Other parents weren't likely to want their children exposed to me.'

- Wolfsbane was invented in the last 15 years – or even more recent. - It 'makes him safe': 'keeps his mind' when he transforms, 'harmless', curls up in his office... but still transforms, still waits for the moon to wane. Without he is a 'fully fledged monster'. - Needs to take the potion 'the week' preceding the Full Moon. As in every day for a week. - There were 'other things' his parents tried – none successful.

pg 259 'My transformations in those days were - were terrible. It is very painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humans to bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead. The villagers heard the noise and the screaming and thought they were hearing particularly violent spirits.'

Just reminding that this is the experience of untreated Lycanthropy.

'And they didn't desert me at all. Instead they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi.'

I mentioned this before, but 'best times of his life'. He went from screaming so loud the village thought he was a pack of ghosts, biting and scratching himself, feeling 'terrible'... to them being his happiest memories.

pg 260 'They couldn't keep me company as humans, so they kept me company as animals,' said Lupin. 'A werewolf is only a danger to people. They sneaked out of the castle every month under James's Invisibility Cloak. ... Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them.'

We know some of that is bullshit. He is a danger to animals as well. But James, Sirius and Peter weren't animals, really: They were people. Just like Remus is a person. They could look and smell like Beasts, but act and think like Beings. Inbetween. Just like him. His mind was less wolfish – 'he keeps his mind under their influence', just like he describes the effects of Wolfsbane. Chapter 19

pg 263 'I've just been to your office, Lupin. You forgot to take your Potion tonight, so I took a gobletful along.'

I went through this more in Part 3, what I think was happening to make Snape comfortable enough visit Lupins office after dark to serve him his potion but not bring it into the Shack. But for now I just wanna note that it wasn't too late to drink his potion as the sun set.

~~~ HALF BLOOD PRINCE

Chapter 29

pg 517 Harry looked over Hermione’s shoulder and saw an unrecognizable face lying on Bill’s pillow, so badly slashed and ripped that he looked grotesque. Madam Pomfrey was dabbing at his wounds with some harsh-smelling green ointment. Harry remembered how Snape had mended Malfoy’s Sectumsempra wounds so easily with his wand. “Can’t you fix them with a charm or something?” he asked the matron. “No charm will work on these,” said Madam Pomfrey. “I’ve tried everything I know, but there is no cure for werewolf bites.”… … “No, I don’t think that Bill will be a true werewolf,” said Lupin, “but that does not mean that there won’t be some contamination. Those are cursed wounds. They are unlikely ever to heal fully, and — and Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on.”

- Fresh bites are treated – dabbed at – with some sort of 'harsh-smelling green ointment'. - No charms work on werewolf bites. - Werewolf bites are 'cursed wounds'. - Werewolf bites are unlikely to ever heal fully.

pg 524 Mrs. Weasley took the nasty-smelling ointment from Madam Pomfrey and began dabbing at Bill’s wounds.

- Ointment is nasty-smelling as well as harsh.

~~~ DEATHLY HALLOWS

Chapter 4

pg 66 “Will George be okay?” All Lupin’s frustration with Harry seemed to drain away at the question. “I think so, although there’s no chance of replacing his ear, not when it’s been cursed off –”

A different curse, yes – but another example of a cursed wound being difficult to heal.

pg 68 Mrs. Weasley looked around and said, “I can’t make it grow back, not when it’s been removed by Dark Magic. But it could have been so much worse He’s alive.”

Dark Magic seems to have the effect of making things difficult to heal.

~~~ Wolfsbane

Wolfsbane is a complex potion to brew. Not many are up to the task. It is disgusting, drinkable but difficult to get used to. It might make one feel unwell after consumption. It is a modern potion – invented in the last 15 years or so. Brewed by the cauldronful for more than one day's use. It is taken, one gobletful a day, for the whole week preceding the Full Moon. It is to be had directly, in one sitting. It 'smokes' faintly – persisting even in tiny amounts. Sugar negates the effects.

When taken for the entire week before the Full Moon, it will help the Werewolf 'keep their mind' when he transforms: Not a 'fully fledged monster' but a 'harmless wolf' that can stay calm and wait for the moon to wane. Some of that may be a little hyperbolic. It also helps speed up recovery time after the transformation. (Perhaps because the werewolf is resting, rather than running around or lashing out.) … As it is: Wolfsbane is a barely functioning 'treatment'. I'd say it's almost not worth the effort. Remus goes through every painful, debilitating and humiliating symptom he normally does, takes days to recover – and it has its own down-sides to boot. He probably isn't even fully safe. It just makes him less of a danger to others, shortens recovery time to two days... and probably stops his self harming. But he is still locked away, shunned, hated, feared, humiliated... still in pain. After every Full Moon Remus still looks thinner and worse. The potion barely helps him physically. It's 'best effects' are making him calm enough to stay inside – and faster-recovering to work a job.

But it is a recent potion. Perhaps it can be improved...? + Just being easier to brew would be enough to greatly increase its usefulness: it might not be perfect, but being easy would give werewolves more agency in caring for their own condition. It'd also help if they got to go to school and study Potions – maybe a treatment or cure would have been found by now if Werewolves could learn to study themselves. + Having the dose be smaller than a gobletful for a whole week. Going through such discomfort for a treatment is crushing in its own way and makes it less likely to be taken correctly. + Ideally, being able to prevent the transformation altogether would be amazing, even if they still felt like shit. The transformation is painful and literally dehumanizing. + If it's impossible to prevent, than keeping total sobriety is good, too. A lack of bloodlust even amongst humans. Remus could catch up on reading essays and be safe – like an Animagus. Edit: This might be what Wolfsbane actually does. I don't read it like that - but that could be my bias. From what I think: I'd like it to do it better. Not feeling like he has to curl up and wait 'as a 'harmless' wolf', but be a full human mind in his wolf body - no wolfish instinct and no sedation. Regular Remus sipping tea.

'Other Things'

We are given no information on the things Remus' parents tried... but the fact 'none of them worked' is pretty harrowing. It suggests a wide array of rumours and snake-oil treatments, meaning its a condition people are especially desperate for help with – and that desperation is abused. There's the funny or scary way of imagining this, where his parents are getting him to do weird things in the vague hope of a cure – but... all in all, it's very sad. Damaging.

The constant false hope that 'maybe this one will work'. Putting money into something for it to be a dud, meticulously following a formula and yet he still transforms just as painfully.

That sort of thing hits parents hard. They're desperately trying to at least ease the suffering of their sick child and are powerless. But it hits the child harder. Because they suffer... and are watching their parents struggle to stay positive. They feel like THEY are failing them by being sick. Ask me how I know. This one little line from Remus... says a lot.

'Harsh-smelling Ointment'

Werewolf bites are 'cursed wounds' – Lycanthropy is, at least partially, a type of curse. It prevents the wound from healing fully. No charms are known to work on werewolf bites, or perhaps on any cursed wounds. Dark Magic seems to have the effect of making wounds difficult to heal. (a cursed-off ear can't be reattached or regrown.) There is a treatment for fresh werewolf bites at least: 'A harsh, nasty smelling green ointment dabbed frequently and directly on the wound.' The only effect we see it have is its non-effect: as in its hardly closing up the wound with magic. It's not described as doing anything. It works slowly, which is rare for magical remedies. Perhaps it stops bleeding? Encourages healing? Removes cursed interference of natural processes?

We are told there's no charm known to work – but we do see Severus using a charm to heal Draco after Harry's Sectumsempra. Is that a different case? Is his spell a different type of curse? Has Severus invented a healing charm that will work on Dark Magic? I wouldn't put it past him – the fucker can fly. It's unknown. I will say that, knowing Severus, if he had invented a healing charm that could work on all Dark Magic wounds, he would probably have shared it. He enjoys when people don't die – and the Dark Lord and his followers use Dark Magic. But I still wonder, if he were there, if there was anything he could do for Bill. Albus, too. Tragic.

~~~ GREYBACK VS. LUPIN

(Not to the death. But Greyback would absolutely win btw. Lupin would get caught up in his feelings, flub a spell and rattle about like the bag of bones he is while Greyback gnaws on him.)

So its pretty clear that there's some massive differences between werewolves – not just between genetics, but the way their Lycanthropy affects them... and nobody bats an eye. It's normal. Fenrir Greyback has whiskers. Sharp teeth. Hair on his face. Strong, hardy, fast, heavy – comfortable and powerful on all fours. He wasn't always this way: about 30 years ago his Lycanthropy was unknown. Most werewolves seem to be unknown-looking – they hide amongst society, if they don't leave it entirely. Remus Lupin is unknown-looking, too. He looks like a regular Wizard... a sick one. Thin – and thinner after every Full Moon. Pallid. Shadowed eyes. Ill. He can barely fight a dog, even transformed – and looks like 'one good hex could finish him off'. What is with this difference...? Remus has been a werewolf for about 30 years... that's 360+ Full Moons. Fenrir has been a werewolf at LEAST that long, but probably longer. Potentially decades longer.

Would Remus, at 360 Full Moons, be facing an inevitable future of 'becoming obvious'? He desperately wants to hide his 'shame' – but will he get hair and whiskers on his face, too? It feels a bit arbitrary: How many Full Moons do you have to be a werewolf to simply have whiskers? Somewhere over 360...?

I suppose it could be an age thing: when you become an older person your body stops being able to fully shift between two forms. An ageing werewolf doesn't just get wrinkles - they get fur and fangs. I think the more likely answer, even if age still plays a part (I am rather attached to Remus' grey hair being a sign worsened by stress) is 'engagement'.

Remus is thin, sickly, suffering... desperate to restrain that whole part of himself – his illness – and pretend it doesn't exist. Every Full Moon he gets thinner. Fenrir is strong, heavy, thriving in his older age – so accepting of his illness he indulges in the pleasures of it even outside of the Full Moon. He stays strong, perhaps gets stronger.

If Remus were to be more accepting of his illness, if he were to let himself feed on Full Moons and indulge in blood etc. even as a human... if he kept his 'wolf' fed: He would be stronger. Healthier. But he is too self-loathing for that. He can't even handle his patronus being a wolf, let alone not hating his wolfish tendencies.

If Fenrir were forced on Wolfsbane potion, unable to hunt as a wolf or as a man – he would be hit by the Full Moon's harder. He'd be more ill, like Remus is. His 'wolf' is used to being 'overfed'.

Bill, though not a werewolf, indulges in his new taste for blood and accepts his new contamination, his new wounds, without self loathing. I'd say that's probably good for him. Like Fenrir.

~~~ MY THEORY ON: HOW BEST TO TREAT LYCANTHROPY B^)

Remus says some of his happiest memories are when he could run free on Full Moons with his friends. When he was accepted as what he was, protected, cared for. He stopped hurting himself. That is exactly the life Fenrir lives every day – and tries to make for other werewolves. He leads and cares for his fellows, he encourages Werewolves not to interact with people who would think ill of them and prioritise their own needs first. To relish in the blood they deserve.

Remus is sickly, weak and suffers because he starves his wolf. Fenrir is strong because he feeds it. I bet Remus being the only one not feeding his wolfish instincts in a werewolf commune would make him harder to trust. The only one without any fur on his face, who doesn't grow his nails out, who needs to force himself to partake in fresh hunts – and avoids violence. Hating himself is the biggest mark of 'having lived among Wizarding society'. We see a reflection of this in the Wolfsbane potion: It's difficult to make. It's arduous to stomach. It might even make you feel sick, in the short term... and for what? So you still go through a painful transformation – but are at least sober enough to miserably curl up, alone, sedated? A 'cure' my ass. It's a horrible treatment. Sedating ones wolf is painful, arduous and unhealthy. The Wolfsbane potion isn't made for Werewolves – it's made for healthy Wizards to control Werewolves with.

He would hate and be bitter, about having to spy on 'his equals' like Dumbledore wants – because it means engaging with 'his wolf' to fit in... which he finds conflicting and unsettling. Because he has had a taste of that better treatment.

“I’ve been living among my fellows, my equals,” said Lupin. “Werewolves,” he added, at Harry’s look of incomprehension. “Nearly all of them are on Voldemort’s side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was... ready-made.” He sounded a little bitter, and perhaps realized it, for he smiled more warmly as he went on, “I am not complaining; it is necessary work and who can do it better than I? However, it has been difficult gaining their trust. I bear the unmistakable signs of having tried to live among wizards, you see, whereas they have shunned normal society and live on the margins, stealing — and sometimes killing — to eat.”

HBP, ch16

I believe living – and god forbid, spending Full Moons – with these Werewolves, who shun society in order to love their wolfish selves, would cause physical changes in Remus. Eventually. Starting off with growing out his nails and learning the mannerisms to fit in... but the more Full Moons spent running with a pack of human-minded animals, free and wild and indulging in joy rather than screaming in lonely pain... I think it would change him: Into a healthier man.

That's what being with Animagi mimicked. Humans are too much for his instincts to resist, and animals probably act and run in ways that are fun to chase or whatever – but a Stag with the mind of a Man does neither.

'And they didn't desert me at all. Instead they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi.' … … 'Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them.'

POA, ch 18

The marauders plan wasn't a perfect solution. They were sneaking around, having close-calls – Remus might have more of his mind with his 'pack' but he is still a danger out in the open. What Greyback does isn't perfect, either. They starve, they struggle, they get filthy and stink and rot within dreams of changing the world through violence. Remus' 'solution' sucks. Hate himself, slash himself open all alone and try to grow accustomed to the emotional hell that is society...

...Because society thinks them dangerous. They sneak around to avoid being spotted, they make communes because they aren't welcome, Remus needs to hate himself to fit in... But accepting the Wolf actively makes it safer for everyone.

That is the BEST treatment. Not just in a 'everyone can hold hands and be happy friends' way – but in a physical safety-oriented way: The issue is inevitable – so make room for it rather than push it out.

- Supported werewolves keep sobriety. - Supported werewolves are healthier, stronger people who aren't - chronically fatigued, who can work hard enough to even please Voldemort's standards. - Werewolves are easy enough to keep 'on a leash' – with simple enclosures and the help of Animagi.

There will always be werewolves. Perhaps a total cure could be found one day, or a better Wolfsbane constructed – but in the mean time there is a better way to keep the population safe... and its infrastructure and support.

Dumbledore was on the right track with treating Remus like a person. Sticking his own neck out to create things to support him – things that meant the world to him, that made him feel loved and accepted as a worthwhile person in Albus' life. Finding the balance of keeping others safe but not shunning Remus for being sick. I'm sure he would have loved the information that Remus felt so good amongst Animagi. Instantly gotten Minerva to help ease his Full Moons.

Am I saying every werewolf needs support Animagi? Yes, basically.

Facilities to keep others safe on the Full Moon – but the ability to have packs and socialisation that isn't shameful. A monthly animal bookclub with unique employment opportunities for Animagi. An occasional night-shift for healers or aurors, maybe part of their training. “We need more people to supervise and feed the London Werewolf Facility this Full Moon. You'll be paid overtime.”

- Werewolves are better registered – being taken care of is better than trying to hide. - Their whereabouts every Full Moon are known and accounted for. Safer for everyone. - They suffer less during their transformation, have a clearer mind, easier to control. - Less sickly werewolves like Remus – strong, healthy, can work and enjoy life better. - Less anti-Wizard werewolves planning to overthrow society via a bloodbath. - More job opportunities, for all you capitalist economists out there B^) - More research opportunities for the development of treatments and/or cures.

It is a win for quite literally everyone – for a small upfront cost of Ministry spending. But I am sure having more healthy Witches and Wizards in their small, secretive community would make up for it... rather than throwing people in the bin if they get sick.

Albus would have wanted to get involved, as he has an example of this very thing working: A small cost of providing a safe place to transform, some potion and a couple of days off a month... and Hogwarts had not only a dedicated student and Prefect – but a productive teacher that left such a mark on his students hearts that they still think of him as the best teacher they have ever had.

#hp #hp meta #remus lupin #fenrir greyback #lycanthropy

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highlordofkrypton · 3 months ago

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Thank you so much for the tag @zenkindoflove, I freaking love being tagged in writing games!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 32 (To think I started??? This year??? Or end of last year???)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 271,982

3. What fandoms do you write for? ACOTAR & DC Comics.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Regrets (Superbats, DC Comics)

Little Secrets for my Soul (Batjokes, DC Comics)

The Lighthouse (The Aquaman Family, DC Comics)

Wildflowers (Tamsand, A Court of Thorns and Roses)

The Justice League's Mom's Book Club's Guide to Vampire Slaying (Martha Kent, Alfred Pennyworth, Hippolyta & Atlanna, DC Comics)

5. Do you respond to comments? Always! My readers made the effort to comment on my fic, so I will absolutely respond with the utmost enthusiasm. It means the world to me when I get comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh, it's absolutely Wildflowers. I mean, it's canon ending so does it really count?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I think most of them have happy endings, especially the oneshots. If they're not happy, they're some kind of tender, or sweet. I do think Regrets has the most upbeat ending.

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. More and more lately. I would say I write the kind of smut that makes you question yourself (and I haven't even dived into the kinkiest kinks). Are you confused? Yes. Do you know what happened? No. Do I know what happened? No. Were we all entertained? HELL YES.

9. Do you write crossovers? I didn't name my blog home of the crackships for nothing. I LOVE crossovers. I have a few on my AO3, but so many on my to-write list.

10. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope! Not formally. I do roleplay with a partner. I tried to re-write one of ours as a fic, but it's soooo tricky.

12. What is your all-time favorite ship? SUPERBATS SUPERBATS SUPERBATS. At least, if we're talking something that has a fandom. If we're talking my fav ships forreal, it's Lambert x Gojo Satoru x Clark Kent, Orm Marius x Clark Kent x Bruce Wayne, Barry Allen x Hal Jordan x Komand'r, Lilith x Eskel, etc.

13. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? None that I know of. I usually circle back and/or can be swayed to finish one.

14. What are your writing strengths?

Details. I think I have a few. I get weird fixated on details that I think make the writing feel more 'lived in' and immersive.

Side characters. I think I'm very good at creating intriguing side characters that you'll get attached to. My trick is that the character is fully developed with their own story before they appear on my page. How else will I get their interactions down, even if it's for a chapter and they're never seen again?

Humour. I literally cannot be serious. I have to shitpost halfway through my story.

15. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing. I am impatient, I wanna get to the juicy parts, but some stories need to cook a little before getting to the fun stuff. I tend to use the excuse that since it's fanfiction, I can #yolo and post.

I cannot write something short for the life of me. Everything needs to end up being multi-chapter, I'm TIRED.

Smut. It's not raw enough. It's not filthy enough. I need to let go and be less formal about it. Just dig right in and have a meatier writing. I just don't think my current style fits pure smut. It does fit trying to fuck an eldritch horror and soul-shattering orgasms tho 😂 But sometimes, I just wanna go to pound town, not achieve self-actualization through butt stuff, you know???

16. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I have some foreign words in my Illyrian fic, and I am fluent in french. I do hate seeing other people write dialogue in different languages SPECIFICALLY FRENCH, so I won't be doing that.

17. First fandom you wrote for? A Court of Thorns and Roses.

18. Favorite fic you’ve written? I have different favourite ones for different reasons.

I like cosmic bloom because it's unhinged smut.

I like Regrets because it's my first ever Superbats fic and got so many kudos!

I like Wildflowers because it's my first story I ever wrote from start to finish.

I like Needle & King because it's healing a lot of trauma to write it, and I get to discover my identity and explore lore/worldbuilding that I've been putting off for ages.

NO PRESSURE TAGS: @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @praetorqueenreyna @achaotichuman @arson-09 @unanswered-stars @matrixsss @watcherintheweyr @witch-and-her-witcher @chunkypossum @foxcort @positivelyruined @angelosearch @goforth-ladymidnight @themildestofwriters

#tag games #writing

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kikimurphys · 3 months ago

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Behind Closed Doors (Part 15)

Pairing: Cillian x Y/N

Warnings: Pregnancy complications, anxiety.

Your phone buzzed, and Ash’s name popped up on the screen. “Just saw your message. Calling you now,” the text read.

A moment later, her name appeared again, this time with an incoming call. You quickly answered, trying to steady your voice. “Hey, Ash.”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Concern was clear in her voice, though she tried to keep it calm.

Taking a deep breath, you started to explain everything—the frightening moment when you first noticed the bleeding, the rushed trip to the hospital, and the eventual diagnosis of placenta previa. Ash listened closely, offering quiet reassurances, her understanding like a balm. Even though her own pregnancy had been different, she instinctively knew what to say.

“I’m here for you, always,” she assured you. “Do you want me to come visit? I can figure something out with my husband and Liam. You’re gonna need help, whatever the doctors say. Plus, you haven’t even met your nephew yet.”

The thought of her coming to Dublin was comforting, but you hesitated. “I don’t want to mess up your plans, especially with Liam,” you replied, though the idea of her being there was tempting.

“Don’t be daft. You’re my sister. If you need me, I’ll be there,” she insisted, her tone leaving no room for argument.

“I’ll think about it,” you said, still wavering between needing her support and not wanting to cause trouble.

“What about the father? I know you said you weren’t together, but…” Ash’s voice trailed off, the curiosity and concern evident.

You hesitated before telling her. When you finally did, there was a brief pause on the other end, followed by her surprised reaction. “Oh! So that’s why you were being so secretive. Cillian Murphy, huh?”

You sighed, feeling a wave of mixed emotions. “Yeah. We met while I was working on Peaky Blinders last summer.”

“Oh right, I remember you mentioning that gig. Didn’t realize you’d gotten so close with the cast,” she nudged you.

“Well, I wasn’t supposed to,” you admitted with a chuckle. “But things happened, and, well, here we are.”

“And are the two of you… together?” Ash asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Not exactly… yes… I mean, I don’t know,” you said with a laugh, feeling the weight of the complicated relationship pressing down on you.

“Well, are you or aren’t you?” she pressed, wanting clarity.

“It’s complicated,” you replied, frustration creeping in as you tried to explain the emotional rollercoaster you’d been on.

You took a deep breath and started to spill everything—how your relationship with Cillian had developed, the moments of deep connection that made you feel loved and cherished, and the doubts that had crept in, leaving you feeling insecure and unsure. You told her how you sometimes wondered if he was ashamed of you or the baby, how that fear gnawed at you, making it hard to fully trust what you had.

There was a thoughtful pause on the other end before Ash spoke again, her voice full of empathy. “From everything you’ve told me, it doesn’t sound like he’s ashamed of you or the baby. It sounds like he really cares about you. Maybe he’s just trying to protect you. I mean, he’s really famous, and the press can be brutal. Maybe he’s just shielding you from all that.”

Her words struck a chord, making you reconsider. “You really think so?”

“I do,” Ash affirmed. “And honestly, the way you talk about him… it’s obvious you love him. Maybe you should give him a chance, see where it goes.”

You nodded, even though she couldn’t see you. “Yeah… maybe you’re right.”

Ash’s reassurance lingered in your mind long after the call ended. You couldn’t help but replay your moments with Cillian—the tenderness he showed, the way he’d rushed to your side without hesitation. It was hard to believe that someone who didn’t care would go to such lengths.

Just then, a nurse entered your room, gently pulling you from your thoughts. “Good morning, mummy,” she greeted with a warm smile.

“Morning,” you replied, smiling back as you finished the last bites of your hospital breakfast.

The night had been filled with regular check-ups, the medical team carefully monitoring your baby’s heartbeat and your blood pressure. The nurse’s gentle demeanor and reassuring words helped ease some of the tension that had settled over you.

“The bleeding’s reduced significantly,” she said, checking your chart. “You and the baby are doing well.”

Relief washed over you at her words. After she left, you closed your eyes for a quick nap, but your thoughts kept swirling around the conversation with Ash and your uncertain feelings for Cillian.

A soft sound woke you, and you opened your eyes to see Cillian’s silhouette against the light filtering through the curtains. He moved quietly, not wanting to disturb you, but when he noticed you were awake, he came closer, leaning down to place a tender kiss on your lips.

“Did you sleep well?” you asked, reaching up to touch his face, your fingers tracing the worry lines that had settled there.

“Yeah,” he replied softly, his hand resting gently on yours. “I brought you a change of clothes.” He placed a suitcase on the bed, opening it to reveal your neatly packed belongings. “And lunch,” he added with a smile, handing you a bag of takeout.

The sight of the spicy chicken burrito made your heart skip a beat. Hospital food had been bland, and your cravings had been anything but satisfied. “You remembered!” you exclaimed, a genuine smile spreading across your face.

“Course I did,” he said, clearly pleased to see you happy.

As you settled into the chair by the window, the comforting aroma of the burrito filled the room. It almost felt normal—like a quiet lunch between two people, not one shared in a hospital room.

“Thanks for this,” you said, your voice full of gratitude as you took your first bite. The flavors were a welcome change.

“Just glad you’re eating,” Cillian replied, watching you closely. His eyes softened as he saw how much you were enjoying the food. “You need to keep your strength up.”

You nodded, appreciating his concern. As you ate, the conversation flowed easily, a nice distraction from the stress and fear that had dominated the past few days. You updated Cillian on what the nurse had said—they wanted to keep you in for a few more days, but everything was looking up.

But even with the light conversation, your sister’s words lingered in your mind. You found yourself wanting to address the uncertainties between you and Cillian.

After a brief pause, you decided to share. “I talked to my sister this morning,” you said, covering your mouth as you finished chewing.

Cillian raised his eyebrows, giving you his full attention. “Yeah? How’s she doing?”

“She’s good. She’s coming over to help me once I’m discharged. The doctors said I need to be on strict bed rest until the next ultrasound.”

“That’s great,” Cillian replied, nodding. “It’ll be good to have her here. I’m sure she’ll cheer you up.” He paused, then added, “But I want to help too. I can take care of you.”

You looked at him, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“The doctor said you need to be on bed rest—no moving around too much. I was thinking… maybe you could stay at mine. I can make sure you’ve got everything you need, and that you won't be alone if anything happens” he suggested, his voice sincere.

The idea touched you, but it also made you hesitate. It felt like a big step, one you weren’t sure you were ready for. plus you didn't want to burden him throughout the day if you could have your sister help you. “I don’t know… I mean, my sister’s coming, and I haven’t even met my nephew yet. He’s nearly a year old.”

Cillian nodded, understanding your hesitation. “I get that. And I’m glad your sister’s coming. But I just want you to know that I’m here too. I want to help, to be there for you and the baby.”

Your sister’s words echoed in your mind—maybe you should give him a chance. You did love him, and he had been nothing but supportive. Maybe this was the right move, not just for you, but for the baby as well.

Taking a deep breath, you looked into his eyes and smiled softly. “Okay… maybe staying with you would be a good idea.”

Cillian’s face lit up with relief and happiness. “I promise, I’ll take care of everything. You just focus on resting and getting better.”

As the days in the hospital dragged on, each one felt like a blur of repetitive tasks—watching TV, trying to catch sleep despite the discomfort of your growing belly, and spending endless hours on your phone. Your backaches had eased a bit, thanks to all the lying down, but finding a comfortable position was still a challenge. The only real highlight of the day was when Cillian arrived, bringing lunch and a much-needed distraction.

He made it a point to visit every afternoon, juggling his work and your care while arranging your prenatal appointments. Despite everything on his plate, he never let on that it was too much. His presence brought comfort, even though it made you more aware of the complicated feelings swirling inside you.

One afternoon, while you were picking at your hospital lunch, your phone buzzed. It was your mom, calling for her weekly check-in. You hesitated for a moment, knowing you couldn’t keep hiding your truth from her. When you finally answered, you decided to be more open.

“I’m in the hospital, Mom. Placenta previa,” you said, cutting straight to the point.

Her concern was immediate, and the conversation that followed was filled with both worry and relief as you reassured her that you and the baby were being closely monitored. You avoided mentioning the complications and kept the details light, just enough to keep her from panicking. When the call ended, you were emotionally drained but relieved to have been honest with her.

When Cillian arrived that evening, carrying a bag of takeout, he noticed the tension in your shoulders. “What’s wrong, love?” he asked, concern etched on his face.

“I told my mom about the hospital,” you admitted, playing with the hem of the blanket.

He nodded, understanding. “I’m glad you did. I’m sure that wasn’t easy.”

“It wasn’t,” you agreed, a small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “But it’s done now. They’ll be here when she’s born, at least.”

The next few days were a mix of hope and trepidation. The doctors monitored your bleeding closely, and to your relief, it finally stopped. Dr. Nelly decided it was safe for you to leave the hospital, though strict bed rest was still necessary until your next ultrasound. You were grateful to finally be heading home, but the prospect of strict bed rest weighed heavily on your mind.

As you packed your bag, anticipation and a hint of dread bubbled up. Living with Cillian was a big step, one that you weren’t sure you were fully ready for. Your relationship with him had always been intense, and the thought of being alone with him, day in and day out, felt overwhelming. You sent a quick text to your sister, letting her know that you were ready for her visit. Having her around would help ease the tension and provide a distraction from your emotions.

When the nurse came in with a wheelchair, Cillian helped you into it, his touch gentle yet firm. You couldn’t help but feel a mixture of gratitude and anxiety. The next few weeks were going to be a test—a test of your relationship, your patience, and your ability to manage the challenges ahead.

As you settled into the wheelchair, Cillian’s hand rested on your shoulder. “Ready to go home?” he asked, his voice soft.

“Yeah, I am,” you replied, forcing a smile. But inside, you couldn’t help but wonder how the relationship was going to develop once you were living together.

As you left the hospital with Cillian by your side, a mix of relief and anxiety settled over you. The realization that you’d be spending the next few weeks alone with him made your heart race—not just because of your condition, but because you didn’t trust yourself around him. The connection between you was undeniable, and every glance, every touch, seemed to ignite something within you that you knew you couldn’t act on. Dr. Nelly’s strict orders of no sex until further notice echoed in your mind, making you all the more aware of the need for restraint.

Once you were settled in the car, you quickly texted Ash. “Just got discharged. Ready for you to come to Dublin whenever you can. Could really use the company.”

You hit send before you could second-guess yourself. You needed her there, not just for the help, but to keep your mind occupied and distract you from the intense feelings Cillian stirred in you. The last thing you wanted was to complicate things further by giving into temptation, especially when your health was on the line.

tags:

@mamawiggers1980 @xsweetcatastrophe @galactict3a @thistheivyseason @cillianmurphyvevo @sweetcheesecakesblog

#cillian fic #cillian murphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian x reader #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #pregnant reader

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yuna542 · 1 year ago

Text

Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 15<-

Part 16

Pairing: Changbin x reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: 18+, Smut, Under 18 DNI!, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, oral (f receiving), pet names

Word Count: 2.6k

Note: Happy Comeback day!! I’m… not well… The Album is so freaking awesome can’t even describe it. Blasting it on full volume since it came out. So I thought I release a new part to honor the day. Soft Binnie is something I always will have a weak spot for. Hope you like it and to add an extra delight to your day. What’s your favourite Song so far on the album? Let me know!

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager.

Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

Your eyes were fixated on the email on your display. You had to send a fully comprehensive description of the styling concept by the weekend so that the outfits for the kids could be planned by the stylists.

This involved seven different songs for the comeback that would be the focus and for which there would be music videos.

First of all, the outfits for the shoots were prepared and then you had to decide on stage outfits with the guys.

To sum it up: It was a ton of work and the stress made your heart skip a beat every time a new message popped up on your phone.

Then again, there were definitely worse environments to work in. For right now, you were lying on the couch in Chan's studio. He himself was sitting at his computer, working on a beat for Changbin and Hyunjin's part in one of the new songs. He kept playing bits of it, incorporating new elements, and discussing details with Hyunjin, who was sitting next to him writing lyrics for his own verse.

Changbin was also completely engrossed in his cell phone screen, writing rap lines for the song.

Only he was lying between your legs, his muscular shoulders right beneath your thighs and his head leaning on your stomach. He had come in and had simply laid on you, with the reason it would be more comfortable and he could concentrate better.

You had been working in the studio like this for hours. Changbin hummed the melody over and over again to bring it into harmony with his lyric ideas and the vibration passed directly to your body.

It was pleasant to cuddle with the muscleman like this, though it became increasingly difficult to concentrate on your work.

The words blurred before your eyes again and again when Changbin moved and your skirt slid up further each time and he ran his hands over your bare skin in thought.

His big arms were tight around your thighs and suddenly, as you were about to start writing a new page, his hand stroked up the side of your leg and reached the hem of your skirt. Immediately something in your lower abdomen tightened and you just tried to ignore his hands and remain professional.

He didn't even notice what he was doing. So it would be embarrassing if anyone found out you were turned on just by being around him.

Slowly, his warm hand stroked back down until it reached your knee, giving you a brief second to exhale. He quietly rapped the lines to himself, typing in improvements, and already his hand was moving back up your leg. His hair tickled your inner thighs and your phone almost fell out of your hand when he let his hand slide under your skirt.

While he was still completely unaware of what he was doing to you, you could only stare at his large veiny hand, which looked so much bigger compared to yours and which had now wandered so far up your hips that it pushed up your skirt and exposed your pink panties.

Briefly his fingers pinched your hipbones before making their way back down. By now you couldn’t even try to waste a single thought on the stupid styling concept. Changbin's body weight rested comfortably on yours and his hand continued to relentlessly touch your aroused skin. You briefly glanced at Chan and Hyunjin, but both had headphones on by now and were engrossed in working on their screens. Only the song could be heard softly echoing through their headphones across the room.

Changbin corrected a line on his phone and again ran his hand up your leg. At the mere sight of his broad shoulders, strong arms, and hands, you grew hotter and your body tensed. When his fingers dug into your skin again under your skirt, near your ass, a soft hiss escaped you. Then Changbin paused and glanced over his shoulder.

"Are you okay, sweetie?", he asked, as if his fingers weren't just under your skirt, teasing you constantly.

With red cheeks, you just nodded and stared at your phone. In the corner of your eye, you saw a smug grin before he went back to his lyrics. It seemed like he could read all your dirty fantasies right in your eyes, so you prevent eye contact.

But only a few seconds later, his hand was on the back of your knee, he turned his head a little and brushed your inner thigh with his lips casually.

Your head fell back onto the couch. God you were so wrong! He knew exactly what he was doing and he enjoyed every bit of it.

Again, a hiss escaped you and that was the confirmation he needed. Naughty thoughts pelted him and the mere sight of your naked skin made him forget his rap lines immediately. Seemingly incidentally and surely without intentions, he kissed the same spot on your inner thigh.

Your hands gripped the phone tighter and you automatically squeezed your thighs together due to the enormous heat rising between your legs. His lips were just centimeters away from your center, where you wanted them so badly.

It was pure torture and he knew it.

Because he noticed how your body tensed under him, how you convulsively tried not to press your legs further together and how your breathing stuttered.

That's when he placed more kisses along your inner thigh, until you couldn’t stand the tension anymore.

"Binnie!", it broke out of you breathlessly as he clasped your thigh tightly with his hand and he began to suck on your sensitive skin. With a questioning look, he glanced over his shoulder.

"Please don't. I can't concentrate...", you sighed, closing your eyes to avoid looking into those seductive chestnut brown eyes.

"What? I wasn't doing anything", he said sanctimoniously, turning around so that he could now look you directly in the face, chin resting on your stomach and smiling such a hypnotic smile that you had to hold a hand in front of your face, so he wouldn’t see how turned on you were.

"Bin, I really need to work“, you whimpered, and a chuckle of laughter rolled through his body. The vibration transferred directly to your lower belly and made everything even worse for your throbbing core.

The mere sight of his pretty face with the fluffy hair framing it right between your legs was too much to handle.

"Then do that and don't get distracted."

A cruel glint entered his eyes and just as you had typed the first word, you felt both his hands closing tightly around the outside of your thighs. Your skirt had slipped so far over your hips by now that Changbin had a clear view of your panties.

"You wear such cute panties every day and I'm only seeing this now?", he suddenly began, and you looked alarmed at Chan and Hyunjin, but they didn't notice.

Now the phone slipped out of your hands when you felt his mouth right next to your desperate core, kissing the skin on your inner thigh. Slowly he worked his way up further and his tongue drove you completely crazy. At the edge of your panties, he suddenly stroked his thumb right over your covered middle, which had completely soaked the fabric of your panties hours ago.

"Fuck. You've been so wet all this time?", he asked then and you squirmed as he pressed his thumb directly on your clit.

"You're so needy just because I touched your leg?"

You couldn't answer. His fingers at your entrance were making the heat unbearable.

"Binnie, please!", you begged, even though you didn't know what for.

His dimples were stunning and you forced yourself not to press your pelvis against his hand.

"It's hot when you beg. Want me to help you, babygirl?", he teased, taking the phone from your hand and placing it on the floor with his. A desperate gasp wriggled from your throat as his hands pulled you closer to him by the hips as if you weighed no more than a feather.

"Binnie I really need to work."

It was a last desperate attempt to resist, but in truth you wanted nothing more than Changbin's face buried deep in your cunt.

"I think Chan will allow you to take a break... Right, Hyung?"

He said the last part louder and directed at the person behind you. To your surprise, the other two were already looking over at you with audacious grins on their faces. Hyunjin had leaned back, obviously enjoying your helpless expression, while Chan laughed in response to Changbin's question.

"Don't stop, Bin! I love those pretty noises our needy girl makes."

"Would definitely sound good on a track“, Hyunjin added, and you immediately blushed. When you looked back at Changbin, he was glaring at you with a satisfied grin.

"See? Those two also think you deserve it. I need to make sure you're not feeling stressed anymore."

He had crawled up to you by now and was spreading kisses and lovebites on your neck. His broad shoulders hovered above you and you couldn’t resist his engaging charm anymore. With nimble fingers, he unzipped your skirt and pushed it up even further and opened the buttons of your blouse so that your bra sprung out.

Hyunjin and Chan kept looking over at you, but continued to work on the side as Changbin took care of you. He inhaled deeply the scent of your skin, the way the tip of his nose brushes against your chest sending shivers down your spine.

When Changbin was satisfied with the hickey he had added above your right breast, he moved his head back between your legs. His biceps tensed seductively as he positioned you. That's when he started rolling your panties off your hips, and when he had it in his hand, he called out to Hyunjin:

"Catch!"

So he did. With a amused grin, he shoved your underpants into his pocket and you were sure you wouldn't get them back anytime soon. But your mind went blank anyway when you suddenly felt Changbins cold tongue against your cunt. He buried his face between your legs without a second to spare.

You thrusted your hips against him, as he went in way more faster than you thought. His tongue penetrated you and you couldn't hold back the sounds.

The Rapper was good at a lot of things, but you didn't think anyone could possibly be so good at giving head. His strong arms held you straight down on the couch, and your hands gripped his curls roughly. And he moved his tongue as if he knew exactly how you liked it.

You were grinding down lazily onto his face and letting out noises that were fucking sinful but so lovely for him to hear. The hand he gripped your thigh with tightened to keep you to him, his goal of your orgasm in mind.

His hand has snaked to grope the soft skin of your ass.

"Binnie, please... If someone comes in“, you tried to say, but your shaky voice threatened to break as the knot in your stomach tightened. That's when he pulled back, with a cheeky smile he licked your salvia from his lips and leaned his head against your thigh.

"Do you want me to stop?"

The sudden emptiness and tearing away of your high, made you regret your words directly. Quickly, you shook your head.

"No. Bin, please! Go on! Please, Binnie!"

"Thought so," he teased.

You buckled your hips when he unexpectedly thrusted his middle and ring finger inside you, walls welcoming and clenching around them so tightly Changbin almosts came right into his pants.

"All day I've been thinking about your sweet cunt“, he said and you heard Hyunjin giggle contentedly.

"She tastes like heaven, doesn't she?"

In response, he brought his fingers to his mouth to suck you from them. This was so sexy that you could only stare at him. His hair was messed up and his lips puffy and glistening from your juices.

Changbin nodded:

„She's addictive."

And started pumping his fingers inside you again.

"You're all we fucking need. We don't want anything else but you, you know that babygirl?", he clarified and that made your heart pound. It was only the feeling of his tongue back on your clit that snapped you out of your trance. Your head thumped back against the couch behind you, fingers tightening in his endearingly soft hair and you felt him push your leg on his shoulder to spread you without needing his hands.

You arched your back dazed by his motions, a soft moan rose from you as he found that spot again. The one that turned you into a lustful mess and shot you into another atmosphere. His tongue was relentless as he matched the new faster pace by entering two fingers as he suckled on your clit, and he was humming out in satisfaction, the vibration against you cunt.

You didn't even remembered that Chan and Hyunjin were also in the room, too lost in the feeling to realize you were chanting Changbin's name like a prayer, mixed in with a few swear words and some pornographic noises.

"Such a filthy fucking mouth," Hyunjin said. "How does someone so pretty sound so dirty?", Chan asked with a dirty smile, enjoying the show. Both of them were still working on the screens, but couldn't ignore the sensual sounds and Chan started to palm himself through his shorts, as your moans made him instantly get hard.

That was the moment your orgasm rolled over you. Changbin continued to work you over and had you right where he wanted you. With Hyunjin's beautiful eyes intently on you and Chan barely managing to keep his length in his pants, you gripped Changbin's hair even tighter and your whole body tensed as he worked you through your high. The intense eye contact with the other members seemed straight out of an erotic film.

You couldn't help but pull him back up to you and kiss him deeply. A messy, dirty kiss where the desperation flowed through you both like an electric wave. Both of you buzzing. Your hands flew to his belt and you tugged him closer with it. He leaned over you, his hands were tangled into your hair as he continued licking into your mouth, and he groaned deeply.

„If you won't stop soon, I'm gonna join."

It almost sounded like a threat from Chan.

"Then there's no one working here today, that's for sure", Hyunjin agreed, and that brought back some of your mushy mind. There was still so much to do and you were lying here letting Changbin eat you out.

In fact, he also finally broke away from you and let you breathe a sigh of relief. Your legs were still weak and he climbed off of you with one last kiss on your nose that was almost cute.

Slowly you straightened up and started buttoning your shirt again.

"So, still stressed?", asked Hyunjin amusedly, and you could only shake your head wordlessly. Changbin helped you stand up and conscientiously zipped your skirt. Then he brushed a strand of hair from your face and smiled warmly. You felt protected and cared for, even though that was actually your job.

You remembered that Hyunjin had your panties.

"Jinnie, can I have my panties back?"

He pretended to think and pulled you on your thigh closer so you were standing between his legs.

"I'll keep it for today... If you're good, you might get it back."

As he looked up to you with a cheeky smile and those shimmering eyes, that reminded you of obsidian, you almost forgot, that you were actually at work.

->Part 17

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Taglist (closed):

@poisonivy21 @elizalabs3 @chartrucewhore @smutlemononeshot @hgema @bookwyrm28 @gemini-demon @jeongchaos @jihanlovic @comingupwithacoolnameishard @marked-unknown @yuhjoeyuh @bakedlilgoonie @itstorimf @toomuchtellyneck @ana-stasssiaaa @galaxypox @n034sy @amara-mars @purple-belle @amararosesblog @tori719 @rindomo @freakinthesheets-excelexcel @niaalove @crazyllamasurfer @luunaruwu @mariegalea @kimseungminsprincess @julciaqwerty @officialshania @whore4stucky9104 @foxinnie8 @i-dont-know-me-either @sirenthalia @mixling-blog @httpsmultifandom @hyunlixwife @eastleighsblog @tzalethhwang @queenofdragons12 @fixation-dump @midsoulz @emmxxsworld @scarletrosesposts @sugahannie @jinniespuppy @minervasystem @tasteskz-sworld @hyunlixsbbygirl

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ateezreactionsandscenarios · 2 years ago

Text

Attention

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

CW: Yunho is a bit of an ass at the beginning, marking, possessive Yunho, fingering (F receiving), oral (F receiving), overstimulation, slight restraint, creampie.

Prompts: 6) “Was it worth it?”

72) “Use your words.”

74) “Did I tell you to stop?”

Word count: 7840

Summary: Yunho has been off lately, work is getting to be a lot and he's not paying much attention to you anymore. At dinner you try to catch his attention but end up catching the attention of 7 others.

Prompt List MasterList Buy me a Coffee

It was 1am and you were still awake...Well just about. Your phone held tightly in your hand as you slowly drifted in and out of consciousness trying your hardest to keep your attention fixed on the show you were watching. You were waiting up for Yunho to get home, not that you needed to of course, but you always liked to know he got home safely especially on nights he wasn't with you.

Practice must have been running late again, that wad the whole reason Yunho decided to stay at the dorms with the rest of the group for the time being, he felt it was easier on you if he did that to save you waking up at the crack of dawn every morning and him waking you up when he'd come home late at night. Yet there you were, the same as last night and the night before, struggling to keep your eyes open just waiting for the message to come through that he was home.

Your eyes shot open when you felt your phone buzz in your hand. Quickly opening it, you were glad to see his text.

[1:12 am] Yunho: Home.

[1:12 am] Y/n: Yay!!! How was practice??

[1:15 am] Yunho: Good.

[1:15 am] Y/n: Oh good, well get some sleep you must be tired. 😥

[1:20 am] Yunho: Ok.

[1:21 am] Y/n: Ok, well I love you, sleep well ❤

[1:22 am] Yunho: Night.

You felt a small pang of hurt in your chest as you read over the texts. You tried to shrug it off as him just being tired, it was 1 in the morning after all, but the way he seemed so blunt and seemed to not give even an ounce of effort hurt. You were too tired to deal with all that right now and maybe after getting sleep the two of you would be feeling better in the morning.

The next morning you were woken by your phone ringing on the bed side table. In your half asleep state you didn't bother looking at who it was that was calling before answering.

"Hello?" You say, voice still thick with sleep.

"Hey sleepy head." You open your eyes fully at the sound of Yunho’s voice, he seemed a lot more normal in comparison to last night.

"We've got a short practice today and the guys wanted me to ask if you wanted to come for dinner with us tonight." You felt a small smile appear on your face.

"Of course, where are we going?"

"I'm not entirely sure, Hongjoong said he saw this nice restaurant the other day, he said it looked fancy but not over the top fancy." You hum along to his response as you thought about what you could wear, you didn't want to be too dressy but you didn't want to be underdressed either.

"That sounds great, I'll join you guys, tell them I said thank you for the invite." You must have been on loud speaker because as soon as you said thank you a chorus of "You're welcome" could be heard down the phone, making you laugh.

"I'll pick you up at 7."

"Okay, see you later, I love you." You smile to yourself, but the line went dead without a reply from Yunho. You're really trying not to worry about it, he's busy and tired and you understand that, but he's been so off it's starting to get to you. Shrugging the whole thing off you go over to your closet to find something to wear.

Evening rolls around and you're borderline ready. You decided on a black dress, you needed to get Yunho's attention especially after how he's been. Your dress was shorter than you'd normally wear but not too short to the point it was inappropriate and the neckline was just deep enough to give a small glimpse at your cleavage, you're grateful Yunho is tall since from his angle he might be the only one seeing it which is exactly what you planned. You never dressed for anyone but yourself but right now you were willing to put that moral aside for the night, feeling pushed aside yourself by Yunho you needed something that you knew would catch his eye and hopefully he'd actually give you the attention you'd been craving. Attention that lasted longer than 10 minutes.

You're busy fiddling with your earrings and checking over your makeup when you feel your phone go off.

[6:59 pm] Yunho: Here.

[7:00 pm] Y/n: I'll be down in a sec.

You smile giving yourself a mental thumbs up as you take one last look in the mirror before grabbing your bag and rushing to the door. Walking out the front door of your apartment building you see Yunho waiting by the car, dressed up in his smart casual shirt and jeans combo. The smile he gives you doesn't go unnoticed.

"Wow, wow, slow down." He chuckles as you start to rush over to him.

"We don't want to turn dinner into a hospital trip." He says holding you by the waist to stop the potential of you losing balance.

"I'm fine, I won't fall. You look great." You smile fixing the small curl in his collar.

"So do you, amazing actually." You feel a sense of pride take over as you watch his eyes scan over you with that look you knew all too well. It seems you got his attention, and guessing from where his eyes lingered a little too long, something else has his attention too.

“Shall we get going?” You nod in response just before he leans down giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and opening the car door for you. You raise an eyebrow at him, silently joking with him about the chivalrous move while he rolls his eyes at you with a wide smile. He waits for you to get comfy in the car before closing the door and rushing over to his side and getting in.

The drive to the restaurant was like it always was with you two, singing along to the music that was playing and having a laugh. There’s a moment when the car falls into a comfortable silence, the music quietly playing in the background as you hum along. You notice how Yunho looks over to you, a smile on his face like he was seeing you for the first time all over again and you can’t help but smile back. You were internally scolding yourself for getting worried over some stupid texts, how could you second guess how he felt towards you, just the way he looks at you told you all you needed to know.

Turning his attention back to the road, his hand moves from the steering wheel and settles on your exposed thigh, giving it a light squeeze telling you he was still giving you his attention even if he wasn’t looking at you, and that’s where his hand stayed the rest of the journey only leaving your thigh to change gears from time to time.

You pull up to the restaurant and your eyes light up from just the view of the outside. You guessed Hongjoong wasn’t lying when he said it was a bit fancy, it looked like something you’d find in Paris, and from this alone you started to feel that you were possibly underdressed. Before you could put your hand to the door handle Yunho was already out of the car and rushing over to your side, repeating what he did when he picked you up. Taking your hand he helps you out of the car and shutting the door behind you before linking your arm in his and walking into the restaurant.

You started to wonder where everyone was, no one meeting you both outside. Your thoughts were answered when the hostess led you and Yunho over to a large table, everyone already sat down and deep in conversation.

“Here they are, took your time.” Wooyoung jokes calling over and moving everyone’s attention to the both of you. You both laugh his comment off, but you’ve now realised no one seems to be looking at Yunho. All eyes seem to be on you. You feel a small blush creep up your cheeks at the sudden attention. Yunho notices all eyes are on you but he doesn’t think anything of it, glancing back down at you he can see why all the guys are staring, he knew if he was able to that’s all he’d be doing too. With his hand on the small of your back Yunho guides you over to the last two available seats, him taking the one next to Mingi and you next to Jongho.

“You look nice tonight Y/n.” Mingi compliments as you approach your seat earning a small smirk from you.

“Are you saying I don’t look nice anyway?” You joke laughing at his flustered face as he tries to back pedal.

“No, no, you always look nice, I meant...”

“It’s okay Mingi, I’m pulling your leg.” You smile resting a hand on his shoulder in comfort, you could feel the tension leave his shoulders as he starts to giggle along with the others.

Joking with the boys was like second nature to you now, when you were first introduced to the Ateez boys you were a bit more reserved, keeping your humour on the down low out of fear of offending one someone or making a bad impression, but over time you grew to be comfortable around them and you came out of your shell more and more to the point you can now be your true unfiltered self in front of them, and they love every second of it, to the others you’re like their little sister.

You take your seat and Yunho tucks you in earning him a lot of ooh’s and ah’s which makes you chuckle lightly, turning your face away from Yunho so he couldn’t see. Conversation quickly picks up where it left off, Hongjoong, Wooyoung and Seonghwa talking about the various figures they’ve been looking at followed by Wooyoung threatening to break one of Seonghwa’s Lego sets which soon breaks out into a small argument that Hongjoong tries to stop. San and Yeosang sharing funny videos with each other and saying how they remind them of different members of the group. Mingi and Yunho are laughing at some weird inside joke the two of them share that you are still yet to work out, and you’re conversing with Jongho about a TV show he’s been binging lately.

“Y/n, I’m telling you, you need to watch it, it keeps you on the edge of your seat, one minute you think it’s this person and then the next your mind is changed completely. It’s a mind fuck.” Jongho rambles on excitedly with his arms waving all over the places as he tries to explain the plot without spoiling it for you.

“Jongho, I have one question...Will it piss me off?” His eyes widen and he frantically nods his head at you.

“I don’t get annoyed at TV that much but this has me screaming, I need to know who it is and I’m getting nowhere.” You nod along as he talks with a smile on your face. He knew your taste in TV shows all too well, you loved the type of mysteries that had you screaming and rethinking your list of suspects.

“You’ve sold me, I need to see this show now.” You laugh and his smile widens knowing he finally has someone to rant to about it. You carry on talking about different TV shows and movies with Jongho but you’ve noticed he’s starting to get distracted every now and then but by what you have no idea and choose to ignore it completely.

Yunho glances over to you out of habit but stops when he catches onto the way Jongho’s looking at you, the tips of the younger’s ears turning a light shade of red and his eyes wide with concentration. Yunho keeps a subtle eye on him until he notices how Jongho’s eyes would occasionally flit down to your chest while you look away for a second and then go right back to your face when your full attention is on him again. Yunho feels how he starts to frown with annoyance and can’t help it, he knows he can trust Jongho not to do anything but the way his eyes wander over you sparks up jealousy and possessiveness inside him, emotions he never usually feels.

“One sec.” He quickly says turning his attention back to Mingi for a second. Mingi lightly nods and turns his attention to San and Yeosang jumping into their conversation as Yunho turns to you.

“What are you guys talking about?” He asks calmly with a small smile making sure to shuffle a little closer to your side and resting a hand on your thigh for Jongho to clearly see as a way of sending him a silent message.

“Oh Jongho was just telling me about this show he’s been watching, we need to watch it when you’re over next.” You smile excitedly in hopes he’ll agree.

“Jongho, is this that same show you’ve been raving about to us for the last few days?” The younger nods frantically again.

“You seriously need to watch it, come on if not for me do it for y/n.” He says as the both of you turn to Yunho with pouts on your faces pleading him to give in.

“Okay, okay, I’ll watch it, but if it’s awful I’m forcing you to have a Harry Potter marathon with me.” Jongho grimaces at the thought of it, it’s not that he didn’t like Harry Potter but it’s the thought of not only having to sit through all 8 movies in one sitting but it was also the thought of having to wear the robes. Yunho always made the others wear their house robes whenever it was on, he thought it was hysterical and a fun idea despite the groans from the others.

“Oh y/n has to know this story.” You hear Seonghwa mention your name from across the table which instantly grabs your attention.

“What story?” You ask leaning placing your arms on the table and leaning over them to be able to hear them better.

You were oblivious to the looks you started to receive, the way you were sat with your arms tucked under your chest meant your breasts were lifted a little more showing off a bit more cleavage. Wooyoung and San exchanged wide eyed looks silently confirming with each other that they were seeing the same thing. Noticing the youngers looks Hongjoong gave Wooyoung a discreet elbow to the ribs and a warning look telling him not to ogle at you.

“Oh.” Seonghwa clears his throat getting himself together to tell the story.

“At practice the other day we were working as usual after break but someone must have left an open water bottle on the floor.” He starts soon getting interrupted by Wooyoung who’s dying of laughter as the scene plays out in his head again.

“We’re getting to a pretty intense part of the choreography when...”

“Yeosang knocks over the bottle and slips on the water.” Wooyoung interrupts, wheezing with laughter while the others chuckle along, all except Yeosang who’s rolling his eyes.

“Oh come on Yeo, it was hilarious, you ate shit and kissed the floor.” The younger continues to wheeze out between fits of laughter.

“Oh, you want to try an embarrass me, how about we tell y/n what happened to you earlier?” Yeosang cocks a mischievous brow at Wooyoung who’s now rendered to silence at the realisation of what he’s talking about.

“You dare.” Wooyoung warns as Yeosang gives him a smirk before turning to you.

“Our lovely Woo over there likes this girl, she goes to the coffee shop a couple streets away from the dorms.” He starts. You can’t help but look at Wooyoung who’s scowling at this point and aww at him finding his crush really cute.

“We walked past the coffee place today and he saw her in there and got all excited. So being the good friend I am I told him to go for it and ask for her number, maybe even buy her a pastry.”

“You dare finish that story and I swear.”

“I’m hyping him up, he gets excited and decided he’ll do it. Just as he turns to go in he walks into the glass door.” The table erupts with laughter while Wooyoung sits sulking in his chair.

“He got so embarrassed he turned around and walked off.” You’re close to tears with how hard you were laughing, granted you felt a little bad for Wooyoung, it must have been a horrible experience, but you couldn’t help the image of him bouncing off the glass door playing in your mind.

“OKAY HOW ABOUT...” Wooyoung screeches quickly standing from his chair. The sudden movement and lack of room he had made the table wobble, resulting in your glass of wine falling down the front of you. You quickly sit up straight rushing to grab your napkin to clean yourself up.

“Shit y/n, I’m so sorry.” Wooyoung panics, his hands waving around not knowing what to do with himself.

“It’s okay Woo, you didn’t mean it, lucky the dress is black.” You laugh as you continue to wipe over your cleavage while Yunho assists in trying to clean up your dress as best he could. The table went silent. You and Yunho were too busy trying to clean up the wine to notice how all eyes had fallen on you again. They all wanted desperately to look away, to be respectful to not only you but Yunho as well, but the way your tits bounced a little as you wiped over them had them all in a trance, only to be made worse when you pulled the front of your dress forward a tiny bit to get the last of the wine off you. Jongho next to you became a blushing mess, getting the best view out of all of them, apart from Yunho. He knew he needed to tear his eyes away but no matter how much he tried he couldn’t.

Once you were cleaned up as good as you could get you looked back up to everyone, who quickly diverted their gazes elsewhere but not before Yunho caught on, the grip on his napkin getting tighter with annoyance.

The rest of dinner went smoothly, conversation flowed as normal and no more wine was spilt. One thing you did notice was Yunho’s hand never left you, he always had his hand either on your thigh, the small of your back or on your arm, it was comforting but at the same time a little strange given how he’d been acting lately.

The end of dinner rolls around and Hongjoong quietly asks for the bill. Lost in conversation you don’t realise the bill has turned up until Hongjoong is pulling out his wallet.

“Oh, how much does mine come to?” You ask catching Hongjoong’s attention as you sift through your purse fishing out your money.

“No, no, dinner is on me tonight for all of you.” Cheers from the boys erupted around the table and thanks from all of them could be heard, but you shake your head in protest.

“No, I can’t let you pay for me as well as the 8 of you it’s too much, please.” You hold out your hand in an attempt to hand him your cash.

“Y/n, relax I’m the one who mentioned it to Yunho about inviting you, so it’s only right I pay.” He smiles over to you waving his hand for you to put your money away. You still held your hand out until Yunho lightly held your wrist bringing it back to you.

“You might as well give up on trying baby, he might be small but he’s stubborn.”

“I heard that.” Hongjoong quipped shooting Yunho a quick glare before turning his attention to the bill. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the short interaction as you put your purse away. After the bill had been taken away you all get to your feet, grabbing anything you brought along with you and all headed to the door.

“Thank you so much for the invite, I’ve had a great night.” You smile addressing them all.

“You’re always welcome y/n, no invite is ever needed for you.” Seonghwa replies softly, leaning down to give you a quick hug. After Seonghwa gave you a hug the others started flooding towards you also giving you hugs and telling you it was nice to see you again. You don’t stop the beaming smile that was on your face, feeling loved by all the boys always made you happy, you felt at home with them.

“Come on then, let’s get you home.” Yunho ushers, his hand finding it’s place on the small of your back again. You nod in response and give a small wave to the group thanking them again before you followed behind Yunho to his car.

Sitting in the passengers seat you let out a content sigh with a smile still on your face.

“Today was nice, did you have a good time?” You ask turning to face Yunho as he starts the car.

“Mhm.” Was all he replied with. You tilt your head in confusion at his bluntness and the seemingly serious look on his face.

“Are you sure, you don’t exactly look happy.” Another mmm was your answer, short and blunt, not even bothering to look at you. You could feel the smallest bit of annoyance bubble up inside you but you decide to leave it, snapping right now would just be cause for a bad situation. For the rest of the drive to your place the two of you sat in tension thick silence, him clearly not in the mood to acknowledge you and you not in the mood to start a fight over his childishness.

Pulling up to your place you step out of the car silently only turning to look at Yunho when he gets out himself.

“You coming in for a bit?” You tried to make it sound more like an offer than a straight out question. He gives you a small nod yes and follows you inside. Closing the door behind him you can’t shake the uneasy feeling that’s settled inside you, it would have been one thing if he dropped you off at home and went back to the dorms but now he’s stood in your living room with you, just the two of you and the tension is undeniably thick, so thick you could cut it with a knife. You needed to speak up.

“Yu, is everything okay, you’ve been a bit off.” You say stepping towards him lightly holding his forearm. He combs his fingers through his hair as he thinks of a response, frustration now clear on his face.

“Was it worth it?” You look up at him wide eyed and confused.

“What do you mean, what did I do?”

“What you pulled at dinner, you know what you were doing, that dress, wearing it around the guys, I don’t know if you noticed but all night they’ve been staring at you and it wasn’t your face they were staring at.” His tone is sharp and annoyed, his eyebrow raised as he spoke.

“Yu, you’re over reacting, hell if anything I wore this dress to get a reaction out of you, you’ve hardly spoken to me for days and yes okay I get it you’re busy with work at the moment but I’m just sick of the one word answers all the time, you don’t seem to give a shit anymore.” Your voice raises the more you talk, the built up frustration spilling out, you can’t tell if you want to scream or cry.

“I just wanted to wear something that would get your attention and only your attention, I wanted to feel seen by you again.” Yunho was slowly getting closer to you as you spoke while you took steps back to keep some sort of distance between you as you continue to rant.

Your outburst is cut short when your back hits the wall and Yunho towering over you, caging you in with an arm resting against the wall next to your head.

“Yu...what are...”

“So you wanted my attention huh?” He asks, voice low and his eyes piercing yours. You swallow thickly as you slowly nod at him keeping eye contact.

“Then my attention you’ll get.” Before you could say anything his lips were against yours in a bruising kiss, the force of it making your head slightly hit the wall behind you, keeping you pinned to the spot. Yunho’s lips were quick against yours making it difficult for you to keep up with his pace, it was like he wanted to do so much but had very little time to do it. One hand placed itself on the back of your neck while the other held you close at the hip, pressing you against his body. All the air in your lungs seemed to have been ripped out but the last thing you wanted to do was to break the kiss for a breath, if this was how you died then you’d die happy in the arms of Yunho and his lips against yours with bruising intensity.

Yunho is the one to pull away first but only momentarily, taking a breath before diving into your neck. A gasp escapes you as he leaves open mouth kisses along your pulse point, occasionally nipping at the sensitive skin earning him a small whine from you every time. This wasn’t the type of attention you were begging for but you weren’t complaining in the slightest, you were revelling in it becoming putty in his hands as you could feel the heat start to pool at your core.

His lips trailed up to dot kisses along your jaw before descending again first to your neck, down to your collarbone until they finally hit the swell of your breasts. Yunho kissed and bit any skin of your breasts he could get to, small teeth marks started to litter them and when he pulled back he couldn’t help but smile down at them.

“What?” You ask breathing heavily.

“Mine. All of you is mine and now you have the marks to prove it, anyone does so much as peek at them and my marks will be there to greet them.” You felt dizzy over the thought of him marking his territory.

“Just know there’s more where that came from baby.” Before you could even think of something to say you felt your feet leave the floor as you find yourself getting thrown over Yunho’s shoulder, his strength showing in how he’s able to carry you to your room holding you with only one arm that’s purely there for support. Kicking the door to your room open Yunho makes his way over to the bed, dropping you from his shoulder onto the mattress with enough force to make you bounce a little as you landed.

The dark look in his eye tore through you, a shiver running down your spine as he slowly crawled onto the bed, settling his knee between your legs and bringing his face to yours. You lift yourself to rest on your elbows, the gap between you closing ever so slightly but close enough for you to feel his breath lightly fan across your face. He take a moment to take in the sight of you, wide eyes, waiting for his next move before he wraps an arm around your back pulling you up as he settles on his knees pulling you to straddle his lap bringing you back in for another fast paced kiss.

Yunho’s hands run up your back, fingers gripping the zip of your dress slowly pulling it down making the garment fall loosely around your shoulders, exposing enough skin for him to resume his previous ministrations. Moving from you lips he trails kisses and bites along your jaw and down your neck, making sure to stop every now and then to suck deep purple marks in the most visible spots on your neck making sure you couldn’t cover them with ease. Once he was happy with the litter of bruises he’d left scattered across your neck he continued his work further south, decorating your collar and chest in the same way all while you let out soft sighs and whimpers as your fingers tangle in his hair pulling him in closer to you.

While his lips keep busy along your chest, Yunho moves his hands to slide up your thighs and under your dress, effortlessly lifting the item of clothing off you completely, pulling away from you to let it come up over your head. He doesn’t move for a second as his eyes lock onto the matching set of lingerie you had hidden under the dress all night.

“New set?” He asks looking up to your face through his eyelashes.

“Went out and bought it not long after you called, thought it would be a nice little surprise if things got this far tonight.” Your voice is breathy, panting lightly from how worked up he’s already got you.

“Purple too...pretty.” He purrs dipping his head down to kiss along the swell of your left breast while one of his hands come up to give the right a bit of attention, lightly squeezing and ghosting his thumb over your already perked nipple causing a shaky sigh to leave your lips.

"Purple suits you." He continues to purr against your chest, only for his hands to snake around the back and one swift motion, the clasp comes undone, bra straps dropping down your shoulders as it loosely hangs off your body.

"Oops.” He smirks as he teases the light fabric straps down your arms, throwing the new garment onto the floor. Looking at your slightly annoyed face at the fact he didn't enjoy it on you long enough, a pout making its way onto your face.

"But..." You try to whine, silenced when a long finger of his is pressed against your lips, his eyes did all the talking for him. Keeping his finger pressed to your lips he raises himself a little to drop you onto your back once again, caging you under him. His finger slides down from your lips, pulling slightly at your bottom lip as he watches it bounce back into place before running his finger down the length of your torso until it hit the front of your panties. His eyes never leave yours as he hooks his finger under the hem and pulls the small, thin panties off you in one swift movement.

You became hyperaware at how exposed you were and how fully clothed he was, making you blush a little from embarrassment. You could feel the feather light touches of his fingers ghosting along the inside of your thigh, your hips bucking slightly to get him to touch you where you need it most, but only to be met with a small smirk.

Yunho’s fingers continue to ghost along your skin, brushing up your slit with hardly any pressure. You grip his shirt tightly in your fists, looking up to him with pleading eyes and a pathetic whine as you try again to roll your hips into his hand trying to get even an ounce of friction to ease the crippling need you were feeling in your core.

“Please Yunho.” You plead attempting to pull him closer to you but he keeps himself rooted to the spot.

“Please what Darling?”

“Please touch me.” Your grip on his shirt tightened even more to the point your nails would be digging into your palms if it wasn’t for the fabric between them. Your mind snapping back momentarily to how Yunho is still fully clothed, you decide to waste no time rushing to undo the buttons of his shirt, but the shakiness of your hands make the task difficult.

“No.” Yunho growls, gripping both your wrists in one hand easily and pinning them above your head, bringing his face back down to yours so close to the point your noses almost touch.

“You’re going to be patient for me, understand?” You swallow thickly, hardly blinking as you slowly nod your head in understanding.

“Use your words.” He says tightening his grip on your wrists making you wince a little but purely out of pleasure.

“Yes, I understand...I’ll be patient.” Your words came out sounding more pathetic than you anticipated, the neediness perfectly clear in the way you spoke.

“Good girl.” Yunho purrs, biting your bottom lip before he lowers himself down your torso and settling between your legs.

You watch the way he quirks his eyebrow once his eyes meet your core which you know for a fact is soaked. He doesn’t make a comment, he simply bites his lip as he dips a finger to run along your slit again, collecting your wetness to bring it up to your clit, tracing painfully slow circles around the sensitive nub. Your breath becomes shaky again, exhaling in staggered puffs as you try to roll into his finger again needing more pressure to get any sort of relief. You hear Yunho tsk at you shaking his head a little before his free hand settles on your hip, firmly holding you down on the mattress.

“I told you Darling, be patient.”

“But...I need more.” You whine gripping his hand on your hip trying your best to lift it just enough for you to be able to move again. You hear a small huff of a chuckle, looking down to him you watch as his other hand leaves your core completely and also settles on your hip helping him again leverage to hover over your face.

“Fine, I’ll give you more, but remember what they say...Be careful what you wish for.” Your eyes widen at his words, you really have no idea what you’ve just gotten yourself into. Seeing your wide eyes Yunho quirks an eyebrow at you with a smirk before dipping back down between your legs.

His fingers are back on you in an instant, but this time they weren’t so light. Pressing his thumb against your sensitive nub he rubs firm small circles making you yelp at the sudden stimulation. Yunho’s fingers dug into the flesh of your hip, the slight pain adding to the stimulation he was giving you. Your eyes were screwed shut and your mouth hung open slightly, heavy breaths filling the quiet room. You wanted desperately to open your eyes and talk a quick look at Yunho, to see his face, those dark eyes, to watch exactly what he was doing to you, but any time you gathered yourself together enough to even attempt it he either picked up the pace or added a bit more pressure again, making you screw your eyes shut even tighter.

The knot was already starting to slowly build and your heavy breaths turned into frequent moans and chants of please. You could hear a low hum before Yunho plunged two fingers into your soaked core, he wasn’t playing around tonight he was going straight for it. Scissoring you open first, being sure to prep you ready for later, but that was still a little while away. Your hands gripped the bed sheets to the point your knuckles turned white and high pitched moans filled the room when he started to curl his fingers, grazing your sweet spot.

“F...Fuck.” Was all you were capable of saying, your mind gone to mush and the ability to form a coherent sentence had gone completely out the window. Picking up his rhythm the fingers inside you were now pumping into you at the same pace as his thumb circling your clit, it was mind-blowing to say the least and it had your eyes rolling back into your skull as you felt the knot quickly tighten even more threatening to snap at any given moment.

The thrusts of his fingers were merciless, abusing your sweet spot and you clit simultaneously, you were so close to your high you could almost touch it but you needed just that little bit extra to get you there.

“Y...Yu...”

“You’re close Darling...Why don’t you cum for me, make a mess...go on.” His low voice and command shot straight through you, affecting you so much it had your orgasm hitting you there and then, his name leaving your lips in a flow of chants and your legs trembling uncontrollably as you tried desperately to close your legs around his hands.

“Oh no, I’m not done with you yet.” Yunho chuckles removing his hands from your core and holding your legs open by your knees. You didn’t get a chance to recover from your orgasm before you felt his tongue lapping up your essence, licking a frim line straight up your slit and flicking your clit quickly with the tip of his tongue every time he got there. Sitting up with a yelp of overstimulation you look down to see your boyfriend’s head buried between your thighs making quick work of lapping up every last drop.

“Yunho...So sensitive.” You cry out falling back onto the mattress squirming every time his tongue made contact with your swollen clit. You breathe out a sigh of relief when you feel his lips leave you for a moment as he lift his head up to look at you.

“You wanted more and that’s exactly what you’re getting, I told you be careful what you wish for.” And with that his lips were back on you, wrapping around your clit and sucking harshly. It took your breath away for a moment, the overwhelming sensitivity mixed with the pleasure had you falling limp, limbs trembling and feeling like jelly.

The overstimulation started to subside and became pure bliss, Yunho’s tongue switching between long licks along your slit and quick flicks at your clit before sucking again. He knew exactly what you liked and what made you tick but at the same time he never failed to surprise you, sex with Yunho was a new experience every time. You knew it wasn’t going to be long before another orgasm started to build, the stimulation was nonstop, the overwhelming pleasure brought tears to the corner of your eyes and moans flowed from your lips uncontrollably. Yunho was highly amused at the way you became a mess because of him, you could feel his smirk against you and the puff of warm breath as he lightly chuckled to himself every time your body twitched in response to his touch.

You didn’t get a chance to warn him how close you were this time, the orgasm hitting you full force unexpectedly making you gasp for air as every last breath was ripped from your lungs from the intensity. However, Yunho didn’t ease up on you, his quick paced licks continued over your core, once again lapping up every last bit of your essence.

Once he was satisfied he pulled away from you giving you a small moment to recover. Your eyes open to look at him but your vision was reduced to a blur as you came down from your second orgasm. It was mere seconds before his lips crashed into yours again, his tongue wandering every inch of your mouth letting you taste yourself. You moan lightly into the kiss, your shaky fingers wandering to undo the buttons of his shirt which he allowed you to do this time.

Yunho seemed to be desperate himself at this point, helping you unbutton his shirt and hastily removing it while his trousers and boxers follow closely behind landing in a heap on the bedroom floor to join your long forgotten dress and lingerie. You take a moment breaking away from the kiss to take a breath and to admire the sight you’d been longing to see for so long. Yunho fully exposed and hovering over you with that hungry look in his eye you’d seen many times before. You wanted to touch him so bad, no, you needed to. You wrap your fingers around his hard cock only being able to deliver two pumps before your hand was ripped away from him for the second time that night and pinned above your head.

“I want to touch you,” You pout looking at him with begging eyes, “I want to make you feel good too.”

“You’re the one who was begging for attention, not me, so attention is what I’m giving you.” Yunho brings your other hand above your head pinning both wrists now in one hand as he uses his free one to line himself with your entrance and fully sheathing himself in side you. The stretch stung a little but it only amplified the pleasure you were already feeling, your walls fluttering around him straight away making him groan lowly.

Not giving you a chance to adjust to the stretch, Yunho slowly started to roll his hips into yours, starting with a slow pace, mainly for himself, to keep himself composed to be able to ride this out for as long as he could. With the slow pace you could feel every vein in his cock and the way they drag along your walls, the sensation feeling like sparks of pleasure tearing through you.

The room was filled with the lewd sounds of your moans and his low groans accompanied by the sound of skin slapping skin as he gradually sped up. Your hands flexed under his grip desperately wanting to touch him but the grip he has on you make it impossible. You nudge his face with your nose catching his attention, your fucked out eyes begging him silently as you whine desperately trying to wriggle your hands out from his.

“What did I say earlier? Use your words.” Yunho growls, punctuating his command with a swift nip to your chest making you gasp in surprise.

“Please let me touch you.” You beg pathetically. “Please, please, please.”

“Since you asked so nicely.” Yunho lets go of your hands setting his own back on your hips, lifting you a little to allow his cock to reach deeper into you. Your hands flew to his shoulders the second you felt his tip graze your sweet spot, your nails digging into his skin leaving small crescent dents behind. Your mouth hung open in a silent moan. The way Yunho was now rutting into you at an ungodly speed had you constantly breathless, the pleasure every time he hit your sweet spot knocked the air from you lungs all while you tried to gasp for air at the same time. Your mind was fuzzy, all thoughts you could possibly have were non-existent the only thing present in your mind right now was Yunho and only Yunho.

“Ah, shit.” Yunho breathes out against your neck as he feels your walls start to clench around him, another orgasm of yours building again bringing him closer to his edge. He was determined to make you cum a third time before he could even think about finishing himself even if the grip your walls had on him made it difficult.

You were babbling complete nonsense at this point, you didn’t even know what you were trying to say to him, all you knew was your mouth was moving and sound was coming out but none of it was even close to resembling words, it was safe to say he’d fucked you dumb. Yunho slipped a hand from your hip to press his thumb to your clit, rubbing quick circles over the bud once again. You unconsciously arched into his touch, your slick body flush against his as he continued to work you closer to your high.

“Yu...C...Close.” You finally managed to say before your mind goes back to being putty.

“Cum for me Darling, I know you can do it.” His lips find your pulse point, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin pushing you even closer to your third orgasm which was seconds away from ripping through you. All it took was one last well placed thrust to have you screaming out his name, your shaking legs wrapping around his hips tightly as your whole body trembled under him.

Yunho’s pace became desperate, his thrusts speeding up even more, if that was even possible. The way your walls clenched around him like a vice had him on the edge.

“Too...Much...I can’t.” You cry out, the overstimulation now getting to be a bit too much for you to handle much longer.

“Just...A bit...Longer.” Yunho groaned out, punctuating every word with a harsh thrust that made your body tremble even more. The sweat was rolling down his temples, his hips stuttering as his high got closer and closer and his breathing heavy fanning his hot breath across your neck. Mere moments later he was burying his face him your neck, his hips stilling, his cock plunged deep inside you and his body twitching slightly as he came, shaky moans leaving him only to be muffled by your neck.

It took Yunho a minute or two to come down from his high before he pulled away from you and flopped down on the bed close to your side. There was a long silence between you as you both pant trying to get your breath back and recover from your post orgasm bliss.

“Y/n.” Yunho said quietly breaking the silence still a little breathless. You hum in response turning your head to look at him, his brows raised a bit in worry as he looked at you.

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been the last few days,” He starts, bringing his hand up to your waist stroking your skin lightly.

“Work has just been really busy and honestly, pretty shit. I get home every night and I’m so exhausted to the point I want to pass out as soon as I walk through the door.” Your hand finds his, squeezing it lightly as you look at him with a small smile.

“It’s okay, I always thought you were tired, it was just my stupid brain overthinking the blunt texts.” His eyes fall away from yours. He felt awful for making you feel that way, he didn’t even realise.

“I won’t do it again, I promise you that. You’re on my mind all day and the thought of you is what gets be through the tough days, so please never think I don’t love you or I don’t want to talk to you, I...” You silence his rambling with a sweet kiss which you could feel him melt into as his lips moved lazily against yours. You pull away to look at him, to take in every small feature, until you heard a small whine.

“Did I tell you to stop?” He complained puckering his lips again begging for more kisses. You quietly giggle at him before leaning back in giving him what he wants before pulling away again, cupping his face in your hands.

“All is forgiven and forgotten okay.” You smile at him as he nods back. “How about we get some sleep, I think you’ll need it after the last few days.” He nods again pulling the covers over the two of you before burying his face into the crook of your neck as he held you close to him.

Tag list: @kpopcrossworlds @kpopjust4u @whatudowhennooneseesyou @8tinytings @jenotation @grim-adventures58 @owjohny @ker1 @hellomingi @queenwiinks @tinkerbell460 @haylstoney

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tallymonster · 9 months ago

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Memories of Us chapter 15 - Emotions

AO3 link || Master list

Thanks to everyone for being patient with me while I took my long break.

Thanks as always to @cheesy-cryptid for allowing me to use her art to write this. Thanks also goes out to @micropoe10 and @tragedybunny for giving this a little look before I posted this.

If anyone wants to be added to the tag list lemme know!!

Tags: @justporo @satanicspinosaurus @sleepy-timaeus @davenswitcher @wayward-hel

My eyes are closed.

I open them and look around.

I see a bed, rays of sun come in through the window.

His beautiful red eyes.

The bright light shines behind the silver hair that covers those crimson eyes that stay locked onto me.

I feel his loving stare, I never felt this way before.

My hand comes up to press against his skin, but it's not my hand.

I recognize this person, we’ve been here before.

I know you.

I feel my heart breaking now.

You aren't here.

You left in the night, you couldn't even tell me why.

Warm light shines through the window, Octavia shifts in her sleep, still laying on her couch wrapped in the plush blanket.

Suddenly, she startles awake.

The dream she was having felt so real, but was that Astarion?

She blinks a bit, the dull ache in her head settling in. How much did she drink last night? She shifts a bit and feels her legs touch the end of the couch. The dull pain in her neck made it hard to lift her head but when she does, she sees nothing at the other end.

Astarion must have left in the night. Why else would she wake up alone? Octavia feels a slight drop in her chest, a little twinge of heartbreak, maybe even disappointment.

It’s as if the little flame that she had little flashes of is slowly snuffed out. She sighs and wraps the blanket around herself. Slowly, she surveys the room. Her living room is a mess of clothes, bottles, and a couple of cushions thrown about haphazardly. Over by her door, she notices Astarion’s jacket hanging on the hook. Perhaps he’s still here?

Octavia drags the blanket along the carpet as she picks up her clothes; when out of the corner of her eye, she sees shadows at the end of the hallway connecting to her bedroom.

She quietly shuffles over to the door, pressing her ear against it. She tries to concentrate on the noise behind the door, only hearing some shuffling noises.

“I can hear you out there, you know. I figured you would've learned not to spy on people given what happened last time.” Astarion’s voice called from behind her private room.

Octavia scoffs, grinning slightly. She pushes the door open to find Astarion laying on top of the sheets she had recently washed. “Is it spying if it's my house?”, she asks sarcastically.

As she stands at the door, she sees his eyes glance up and quickly go back down to the book in his hands. Funny how he can take command of the room, even if it isn't his own. “You look comfortable. How's my bed feel?”

Astarion's wearing the same fitted black pants he wore the night before, his light gray shirt was lazily thrown on his toned frame. The fabric haphazardly clung to the rise and fall of the muscles on his chest.

He had closed the curtains in her room leaving it shrouded in partial darkness. There's lit candles throughout her room all flickering in a soft yellow glow. In contrast, Astarion’s features were highlighted by the faint shimmer from the flames.

Astarion was reading one of the many textbooks she still had from college, his fingers spread between the pages paint an obscene picture in her head. Octavia shakes it off and fully enters her room. He flips through the book languidly, responding back “Well, it would've definitely been better than the couch.”

The heat immediately rushed through her body, making her lack of clothing evident. Octavia clears her throat, trembling under the blanket. The cool air of her darkened room made her skin break out in gooseflesh. Astarion peers up from the book, he raises an eyebrow at her inquisitively.

“Something the matter, dear?” he asks, still flipping slowly through the book.

“I need to change, Astarion. Do you mind leaving the room for a few minutes?” Octavia wraps the fabric around herself tighter, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Sweetness, do you remember that little detail about myself I mentioned to you?” he tilts his head and looks up at her from under his silvery gray lashes.

Octavia scoffs, crossing her arms and curling up tighter under the thin material. “You can wait in the hallway for five minutes can't you? Please?”

“You're really adorable when you're acting bashful, dear. Have you forgotten what we did last night?” He closes the book and slides over to the edge of the bed. His long legs fall over the side as he pulls Octavia closer by the fabric that drapes her.

Octavia settles in between his legs, she feels an arm wrap around her pulling her closer. The blanket rubs against her cold skin, making more goosebumps grow. She sucks air in through her teeth, shivering slightly.

“Astarion…I'm cold. Can I plea-” Octavia’s voice gets cut off as she feels Astarion begin to tug at the spot where Octavia’s hands held it closed. She blushes at the look on his face, his reddened eyes shine with a mischievous glint. She scoffs, playfully rolling her eyes, if it's a chase he wants, game on.

Octavia smirks and pulls away from him. Her eyes soften and she says with a coquettish grin, “No.”

She feels Astarion’s hands drop, he looks into her eyes with a pleading gaze. His brows tilt upward, his eyes become more rounded and soft, his lips turn down with a feigned pathetic pout. “Why not?” A low whine followed by him laying back and propping himself up on his elbows.

“Because.” Octavia smiles wider, she walks over to her wardrobe, and gathers some clothes. “Sometimes, being told no is just as good as being told yes. You have to be patient, Astarion. I can't give you everything all at once. You have to work for it.”

She gives him a kiss at the tip of his nose and turns, walking to the door. She drops the blanket and winks, stepping out before calling back “I won't be long, when I return, you and I are going to have a little talk.”

Astarion sits on her bed in her room. He glances around Octavia’s private space, and takes in the environment. Her bookshelves were full of different types of books. Historical texts, photo books, reference books, the majority of it revolved around the defeat of the Absolute.

That's…well she does work for me at the museum…research, of course.

His curiosity was getting the better of him, the roguish skills itching to be used again.

Astarion opens up one of the drawers of her nightstand. Inside he notices a couple of pens and some little cards. A stack of letters were under those, the topmost one had the name of a man on the return address.

Astarion pulls out the letter, quickly taking it out and unfolding it. He sees a small picture fall to the ground, he picks it up, quickly scanning the letter but stops when he sees “My darling, I long to see you again.”

Was she already in a relationship?? He continues on slowly to catch every detail.

My darling, I long to see you again. It's been at least eight months since you’ve come to visit. Your mother misses you, even if it's just an afternoon tea at her grave. I know you are quite busy at your new job at the museum, but do come by soon? It's almost Heroes’ Day and you know how much your mother loved that day. I sent you the drawing we had made back when you were my little historian, you and your mom looked so happy, figured you would love it. Let me know when you can come visit, I’ll have your favorite tea waiting.

Love always,

Dad

~Oh, I sent that old book and the letters! I knew this job would be what you needed to feel connected to your mom and her family. She would be so proud of you,Tavvy. I know I am.

Astarion’s taken back somewhat. There's something about that nickname that makes a knot grow in his chest. The mysterious familiarity that keeps following him. He shakes it off and looks back at the small drawing in his hand.

A small girl, whom he figures is Octavia, is in the middle of two adults. Her hair is in two buns with braids flowing down her back. A woman who looks like Octavia, is to her left. The woman's skin is tan like Octavia’s with brown curly hair that's tied up in a half up style. She's got gorgeous hazel eyes and her smile is just as brilliant looking as Octavia’s.

To Octavia’s right is what looks like an elven man, also with tan skin. His eyes are a beautiful green like the rings surrounding Octavia’s own eyes. His arm is draped around the woman’s in a tight embrace. They look happy, but a sadness looms over the picture. Astarion flips over the picture, a small note adorns the corner: Altavia, Ralomaer, Octavia: age 12.

Suddenly, Astarion hears some rustling in the room adjacent to Octavia’s. She must be finishing up with whatever she's doing. He quickly stuffs the letter and picture inside the envelope, shoving it inside the drawer and slamming it shut. He grabs a different book and throws himself on the bed, quickly acting preoccupied.

Octavia opens the door and walks in. Her hair is braided in a crown around her head, some tendrils fall on the sides of her temples. She's wearing a loose tunic and some leggings, a woven cardigan keeping her warm against the chill of the darkened room. “Why do I feel like you've gotten yourself into some trouble?”

Astarion lowers the book, an inconspicuous look painted on his face. He quirked an eyebrow to sell the lie. “I haven't the faintest idea what you mean, I was sitting here reading this book on…” he glances at the cover, “’Ecology and Reproduction of the Myconid species’? Huh…it was quite interesting. Like nothing I’ve read before.”

Closing the book, Astarion sits up on the edge of Octavia’s bed. “I mean it did remind me of last night…” he trails off suggestively, dropping his voice in that seductive tone, hoping it takes her off the suspicious trail she seemed to be going down.

“Is that right?” Octavia feeds into his energy, sliding in between his legs, taking the same position she was in before she took off. Astarion’s hands find their place back around her waist.

Octavia giggles and starts to run her fingers in his hair. “So which part reminded you of last night? The spore reproduction or the part where you are basically part of a hive mind that can communicate all at once?”

Astarion shivers under the gentle scratch of her nails on his scalp, a little hum coming out of his mouth. “Hmmm…I don't know. I might have to be reminded of a few key parts.” He runs his hands up her back, nuzzling her chest.

Octavia shakes her head, he clearly had a one track mind. If she was hoping to get her say, she would have to lean in some more. “Key parts like….you running your hands all over me?” Astarion’s face lights up with a fanged grin.

“I see you remember it as well, my little flower.” Astarion begins to kiss her breasts over her clothes, playing with the hem of her tunic. “Why don't we have a little replay of it? Maybe chat more about the parts we liked?”

Octavia laughs and pushes Astarion’s shoulder, making him lay back on the bed.

“Well, I’m glad you brought that up. I would love to have a little chat about last night.” She tried to maintain a serious stance, but seeing how flustered he was she couldn't help but crack a bit. “Are you alright?”

Astarion shakes his head, blinking himself out of his lovestruck trance. “Oh yes, my little temptress, I'm perfectly alright. After that display, are you sure all you want to do is talk?” he slides up onto Octavia’s bed, with that same look that makes her knees weak.

“Astarion…I’m trying to be serious with you.” she scoffs and walks towards him. Astarion stretches out, his lithe and sinewy form laid perfectly on her bed. He played a dirty game, and he knows he always has the upper hand.

“We can talk more here, love.” his blood red eyes pierce through her, picking out the parts that make her body burn. His sly smirk highlights his intentions, but is soothed by the innocent enough movement of his hand swiping the space next to him in bed. “Why don't you join me, sweet girl? This bed is awfully big for just one person…” he holds his hand out expectantly.

Octavia huffs and takes his hand. He leads her onto the bed, his movements soft and delicate against the ardor behind his eyes. She ends up sitting at the head of her bed, her back on the cushioned headboard, Astarion sees a perfect opportunity and lays his head on her thighs.

“You seem particularly comfortable now, are you trying to avoid this conversation?” Octavia runs her fingers through his hair again, its soft curls intertwine with her movements as if they're begging for more of her touch. “Hmmm not particularly, no..but..I can think of a few things I'd rather be doing with my tongue.” Astarion peeks up at her, then nuzzles his head on the swell of her thigh.

“You're so insufferable sometimes you know?” She says with an amused tilt. “You can try to avoid it all you want, but until we have this conversation….” Octavia takes Astarion’s hands, which had begun to snake themselves up her legs, and lifts them off. She starts to slide off the bed when she feels a tug beckoning her back.

Astarion’s arms wrap around her waist and pull her back into the bed. Octavia yelps as she hits the mattress on her side, giggling as Astarion nuzzles into the space between her shoulder and neck. “We are going to talk about this damnit!!” She laughs and turns to lay on her back.

Astarion sighs and copies her. “Fiiiineeee. If you insist. Let's talk then.” He turns his head and pouts at her dramatically. “I know it wasn't that you didn't enjoy yourself. From the way you were pulling at my clothes..” the pout twists into a devilish smirk, a haughty giggle flows out.

Octavia and Astarion lay in her bed, she twists to her side and stares at his profile. He really was incredibly beautiful and this light only enhanced it. She puts her hand on his chest, as his laughter dies, he closes his eyes and hums happily. Octavia felt the butterflies in her lungs going mad.

“What is this? What are we?” Damn, her mouth.

Astarion turns to her, blinking rapidly, his eyes wide with slight surprise. He bites the inside of his lip and smiles nervously. “I don't know…” he starts, “but isn't it nice, to not know?” He nervously smiles, his eyes dart, trying to look anywhere but her face.

Octavia is taken back, she didn't know how serious this would be afterwards. She was hoping for at least a little bit of a chance to grow whatever they had into something more, but with that answer, it seems like this is all it was going to be for him.

“Oh…” she starts, ”is that what you want? I mean I like you, but I..uh..” Octavia goes quiet, she plays with her hands not finding the words to continue.

Astarion turns to look at her, he hates seeing the same heartbreak and confusion he saw in Tav, gods, he's doing it again.

Stop, you fucking idiot.

“Octavia…you aren't just one night that's better to forget…I- I'm not sure what you are just yet…but whatever else could you be? It's all so complicated, honestly.”

He looks up at the ceiling, eyes full of sadness and regret, he swallows and exhales.

“My darling, you mean new possibilities to me. It's been a very long time since I’ve done anything like this. I'm sorry I can't define this yet.” He takes her hand off his chest and kisses the top of it. “I know that whatever you are, for now, you are very important to me.”

Octavia felt her heart shoot to her throat, this was all so different. Even though they had skipped the formality the previous night, she still wanted to know if there was a way to bloom into something more.

Astarion’s past was full of death and regret, he was still a giant mystery to be solved. His pain and grief was an obvious and invasive dark cloud that hung over perpetually drowning him in its downpour.

He pulls Octavia in closer, she trembles slightly, his whole existence terrified her. He could easily kill her, compel her to let him drain her blood, but his soft and vulnerable moments tell her to trust him even through the guarded veil he put up.

Astarion sits up on his elbow and drapes an arm over Octavia, locking her down to the bed. He smiles down at her and brushes some hair behind her ear. He leans down and kisses her cheek, then her nose, and finally her lips.

Octavia felt the warmth of his kisses on her skin. Even though he was technically dead, his touch felt alive and hot. She couldn't help but run her hands all over his hair. He would softly exhale feather soft moans with each pass of her hand through his scalp.

She could feel his emotions pouring into her with each kiss. The hunger and desperation to be loved, each missed chance, every regret. The unbearable weight of his heart being mended slowly with each brush of contact from her. His touch lit her skin in a pleasurable heat.

Astarion feels as if he couldn't stop himself. Each sound she made fueled his desperation to let go and be open to the flames growing within. Flaying and ripping him open from the inside, only to rise from the ashes of his own misery. Octavia’s hands are untangling his heart and cradling it in her loving web.

His hands work their way down to the hem of her sweater, stopping before they explore further. He pulls away, leaving her lips kiss bruised and red. She's fully flushed, lips parted, breathing ragged and heavy. She swallows and blinks a bit, looking up at him, half hooded eyes full of lust and confusion.

“I’m sorry…I went too far, I can't help it..it’s been so long and well..with you, gods I feel like an inexperienced youth. Fucking embarrassing.” He sits up, Octavia props herself up on her elbows and listens. “I've been thinking about you for months, all the things I would do if I had you here exactly like this but how am I supposed to do this and not ruin it?”

Octavia is just watching as he slides off the bed and begins to pace around her room. “Gods, am I really this out of practice? I used to bed so many people no problem, what the fuck is going on now? All I could think about was ruining you with my hands, my mouth, and my cock, all of it but it feels so manipulative to use you as my plaything when you're so sweet and beautiful and patient.”

He monologues, all while throwing his hands up in the air, rambling and not stopping. “Why is this so difficult??? If this was a normal situation I would have bedded you at least 5 times already.”

Octavia was taken back once again, he obviously is on a tangent and his brain is not at all in sync with his mouth. “Astarion…” Octavia interjects, but Astarion is on a roll, nothing can shake him from this rant “This keeps happening to me, I get close to someone and then it goes to shit. This is exactly what happened last time with-”

“ASTARION!” Octavia screams, interrupting him yet again. This time, it works, slapping him out of his passionate word vomit. Her voice was firm, but still laced with concern. “Sit with me.” She pats the space next to her, and holds her hand out, her turn now to lead him.

He looks at her with hesitation and sits on the edge of the bed next to her. “We can just sit here okay? Nothing more if you don't want to.” Octavia wraps an arm around him, bringing him close to her in a warm embrace. She holds him there, feeling him tense up and relax into her arms. His head rested in the crook of her neck again.

They sit in silence, she feels him wrap his arms around her waist. He takes a deep inhale and lets out a long shuddering breath. She feels a tremble come up from the base of his spine and it dissipates throughout his body. Octavia just hugs him tighter as he melts into her touch.

She rubs a hand down his back and she feels him tense up again. He pulls away from her hand immediately, arching his back away from her touch. “I'm sorry, too much?” She says quietly, pulling her hand back and instead placing it on his shoulder. He nods quietly and nestles his head back in its spot on her neck.

Octavia let her hand wander to his hair once more, she noticed earlier how his body reacted to the scratching of her nails on his scalp. His ears would twitch a little, he would breathe in a little slower, his eyes would close, the corners of his mouth would curve up a little.

Astarion leans up and kisses her neck, a soft peck under her jaw. He places a hand on her thigh and buries his head in her neck. Octavia couldn't help but smile at the neediness he was displaying. “ I can't help but feel like I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you.” he spoke quietly into her hair, taking in her scent.

“What do you mean? I think you deserve to be happy if that's what you want. You deserve something real and honest. Everyone does. Even you, even if you don't think so yourself.” Octavia takes her arm off his shoulder and plays with the hair on the back of his head.

Astarion rests his head on her shoulder as she continues. “I don't know what you've been through, but you aren't alone. I’m here aren't I? You have Gale, too…” Astarion huffs as she finishes speaking. “I like you better, though. You're prettier.”

Octavia aims to kiss his forehead, but as soon as she turns her head, Astarion catches her and kisses her deeply. “Tell me what you want, Astarion.” She places a hand on his jaw and rubs at his cheek with her thumb. “I will give you anything, whether it's with me or without as long as you're happy.”

He was taken back by her words, he couldn't imagine his life without her now. It's the same feeling he had with Tav, after he confessed his hidden intentions and foiled plans. The familiarity felt somewhat nice. To be flustered by someone who he considered completely unpredictable.

He kept his hand on hers, the warmth of her skin made him feel the same way, the feeling of home that he had willingly abandoned. All these years running away, spent alone and isolated, now seem to crumble away with her touch. “I want this. I want you. I want it all….. I just don't know if I should after all this time.”

Octavia tilts her head “You sure have a lot of reasons for why you shouldn't be happy. Can I give you one why you should?”

Astarion pulls away from her shoulder, sitting upright. Octavia turns his head and holds his gaze. A soft smile is on her face, as she begins to speak. “You have survived your past. I'm so sorry that it was what it was. I wish I could have known you then, but I know you now. For that, I am thankful for whatever led you here. So…I guess you can be happy we found each other?” She shifts a bit, breaking their gaze, but trying her hardest to console him.

“I’m really bad at this can't you tell?” she says after a few moments of awkward silence. Astarion scoffs “That's putting it mildly, dear. You're awful.” He starts to laugh, Octavia slightly pushes him off her shoulder. He keeps laughing louder and more animated.

Octavia joins him, mostly because of his unhinged response. Eventually he falls back and clutches at his stomach, he keeps going until his eyes start to water. “Gods, Astarion, it wasn't that funny.” she giggles more as he slows his laughter, coughing as he catches the breath he didn't need. “Oh fuck, I'm sorry. I have no idea what the hells that was..”

Octavia smiles and shakes her head. “It's fine. I like hearing you laugh like that. You sounded happy.” she lays next to him, their legs dangling off the bed. He slides his hand into hers and laces their fingers together. He keeps his gaze up at the ceiling not saying anything.

She closes her eyes and relaxes into the bed, their hands clasped still. “This is nice.” he says, his voice sounding hoarse after his laughing fit. “I missed this. The little things.” he sighs, taking her hand and placing it on his chest. Octavia opens her eyes and is greeted by him leaning over her.

“This is nice.” She agrees, and brushes some of his curls behind his ear. He lets out a small shudder and his face scrunches up. “That was new.” he says with an embarrassed laugh as Octavia’s hand lingers on his shoulder. “I look forward to finding out more new things about myself….with you.”

Oh…

“I think I'd like that very much.” Octavia could feel herself blushing, the heat in her cheeks surely leaving a reddish hue on her cheeks. “We don't even have to label anything like I said. No one has to know if you don't want them to. Not yet.” She smiles, her own secret was hidden beneath that statement.

He leans over her and gives her a soft kiss on the cheek, then another on her lips. “Thank you.” Octavia props herself up on her elbows, “For what?” she asks. Astarion takes her hand and kisses it softly, “Giving me a chance at something which I thought I couldn't find anymore. This is truly a gift. I won't forget it. Not for a long time.”

#bg3 #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #fic: memories of us #bg3 headcanon #modern au

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