#last time i made a prediction it came incredibly true

[twopoppies]

hi! I’m not a Larry but I was thinking that the LZ relationship was fake until yesterday. I wasn’t completely convinced she was even there until yesterday. The reasons I thought it was fake:

L did that pap walk w/ a girl a while back, so I figured he wasn’t against these sorts of things, and since that one failed so badly I figured this one would be more elaborate

the dailymail/mirror photos all looked kinda fake/awkward/staged, he’s never seen anywhere but then they found him at the grocery store

the article that came out about fan speculation before they were spotted out together (and the quote from Reddit saying that they saw rumors saying he was dating her when literally NOBODY was saying that)

inconstancies in other articles

weird spam bots I saw on tiktok when after the electric brixton show. (Some TikTok’s were saying that he kept “looking to the balcony” and then there were random accounts who weren’t at that show saying he was looking at Zara? This was only after he followed her and nothing else?)

he hates love island???

he’s been very verbal about his new album upcoming shows/projects and might be doing this for publicity

They posted a concert story together and went public, were seen on a date together, but for whatever reason he didn’t take her to Coachella???

she’s a whole media/journalism expert, so she knows what she’s doing and can make this look real

As a non-Larry, I thought maybe he might be doing this to dissolve Larry speculation while promoting his new stuff, also she gets publicity and has a lot of projects coming up

i saw an anon (idk from what account here on tumblr) that said they knew about this trip in advance (obviously could’ve been fake)

there was an account on Twitter that I follow that warned her followers in advance that this was gonna happen (also could’ve been fake)

But omg, yesterday made me think maybe these were all just coincidences! I guess this might be real after all? Cuz as a non-larry I believe that Eleanor, Danielle, Bri, Freddy, all them were real. I obviously know the blonde girl from last time was fake and I thought this one was fake too? Maybe not? The only weird coincidences I can see now are:

The 2 girls that were posting about him yesterday were HUGE one direction fans and both frequent concertgoers. If they were such fans why did they take pictures/videos without his consent. One girl took a video with L and Z in the background and I saw L look at the camera. The other girl took a picture of them sitting/eating breakfast together. Like specifically to prove that they were together?? Seems disrespectful, especially for someone who is such a fan?

both of those accounts were VERY VERY vocal (responding to comments, replying to tweets, etc) saying things like “they were so cute/happy, etc” and trying to shut down any Larry stuff. Almost like they were told to?

the tumblr anon that I mentioned before (#11) said that they were going on a tropical getaway and the predicted them getting spotted at a night club, which is exactly what happened, so maybe they knew what they were talking about?

are there no larries in Costa Rica lol?

however, these may all just be in my head. I sorta dont like this girl because of the political stuff I’ve heard about her, not sure if it’s true tho. Plus with the whole ridiculous cheating thing, she just doesn’t seem right for her but then again that’s just my silly opinion. Is there anything else that I’m missing? Any other anons or proofs? I didn’t want to say any of this on Twitter cuz my oomfs are raging antis and I don’t want them to hate me 😭😭

I think the best way to look at this stuff is to remove Larry from the equation. It really has nothing to do with that. It’s just incredibly obvious that it’s fake. Even if I believed Louis was into women, he would never want to have such a public relationship and have it splashed all over the tabloids.

I don’t know how to prove something that is so over the top obvious to me. @daisiesonafield-blog has a post on her blog about how to spot a PR relationship. Maybe scroll through that because this one just ticks all the boxes.

[m4rs-ex3]

i very much want it to be that the reason rayla won't kill callum is because, for once, she chooses to be selfish.

we know that in general callum has a tendency to sacrifice the greater good for his loved ones and rayla has a tendency to sacrifice herself for the greater good, but i think that extends to her loved ones (she knew how bad leaving would hurt callum [and even though her reasoning is to keep him safe, it was also a general "i need to rid the world of this evil" deal]).

killing callum would mean sacrificing something that means even more to her than herself for the sake of the world. chances are she won't, and i want that to be because of the fact that she chooses to have callum in her life (or at least for him not die by her hand), fate of the world be DAMMED.

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 67 Hotel Posting

So it was predicted, so it came to pass. We have our hotel fight, dear void... and not much else this week.

Rough TL of Editor's Notes:

First Page: チヒロ死亡の報せを信じていた昼彦… [Chihiro shibo no hose wo shinjite ita Hiruhiko...] "Hiruhiko, who believed the news of Chihiro's death..." Last Page: 復習の道を征くチヒロ退路はなく、ただ突き進むのみ [fukushuu no michi wo yuku Chihiro tairo hanaku, tada tsuki susumu no mi.] "Chihiro walks the path of revenge with no way to retreat; he can only push forward."

I just want to pat myself on the back for being able to understand most of the chapter this week in Japanese compared to usual. Hokazono-sensei went easy on us and everyone spoke in a standard Tokyo dialect for the most part with no obscure kanji. Hooray for me.

Chihiro and Hiruhiko

Too bad he couldn't just die here and spare us the trouble.

Well, it happened. We got Hiruhiko learning to fight in a way that once again deliberately compliments and contrasts Chihiro at the same time. He has no master but "freedom" (lol) and is going to become a true menace from sheer talent apparently. He's already good enough to take down the master of a sword style so... hm. Hope Chihiro's stint practicing with the Masumi paid off. Hiruhiko being able to beat Sengoku here felt a little BS, but the elevator door opening to reveal the severed head was so cool that I forgive it.

Hiruhiko did take Kuguri's words to heart even though he seemed flippant from Kuguri's point of view. He's all about sensing the right flow and not copying from something he's seen and had explained to him like Chihiro is, though. Different kinds of instinct are on display and about to clash. Which one will come out on top this time? Gotta wait until next week to find out! Not surprised if it's Hiruhiko getting the one-up on Chihiro this time so they're tied in score. Chihiro's not feeling quite ready to fight using the Iai White Purity style yet while his personal menace is raring to go with whatever he's cooked up.

Plus he's got a hostage to protect and all.

Chihiro and Iori

[yume self-insert character status intensifies]

Just a little bit of conversation between these two to crush our hearts a smidge more before shit hits the fan. Iori and Chihiro could not be more different in life experience despite the similarities of their status as kids of famous (probable) war criminals. So of course Iori gets a bit down while she's musing that Chihiro's never had a chance to be normal. And...

Don't mind the shattering sound, that's just my heart breaking for Chihiro all over again.

THIS POOR GUY. He wants a normal life so bad, even if he wouldn't choose to change a thing he's done. He just wants to rest and worry about what to make for dinner instead of drenching himself in blood... but he'll see his path through to the end. He can't go back, as much as he yearns to. Because his father's gone and he's already well on the path to hell.

I think this is why Iori ultimately chose to have her memories sealed again. After seeing the carnage Chihiro causes and has to live with on a near-daily basis, she wants to cling to the normalcy she's known. Especially after the memories that returned last chapter were deeply unpleasant. Iori's not a coward or weak; she's truly an ordinary person thrust into an incredibly dangerous and depressing world. I think she will be forced to keep her memories for the story to go forward but how that happens is anyone's guess. Hopefully it doesn't involve harming the Masumi.

If Iori does keep her memories she will become much like Chihiro in that she lost her dad and was forced into a cruel world through traumatic events. Right now, a point is being made that Chihiro can't ever go back to Iori's world. He's too much of a sinner in his mind. Will Iori be forced to share the same fate as Chihiro, doomed to be chased while her father is alive? Will she also find herself on the path of revenge? Or will the Masumi finish the seal in time to help her out? Somehow I doubt it (Kuguri's still MIA but on the hunt, after all).

At any rate, I was definitely surprised by Iori's choice to return to a peaceful life because most stories will come up with a reason for the character to stay in the new world. The whole point of offering the choice is usually to show their resolve and establish their motivation. So for Iori to turn it down could mean a few things.

She's going to be forced to keep them anyway. Whether it's the seal not working, being left incomplete, or some other reason, she could be forced to carry the burden against her wishes. I think this is the most plausible outcome.

Iori will end up deciding to keep her memories after all. Chihiro and Hiruhiko's fight could change her mind somehow, or maybe Chihiro's words about it being better to live with the truth will come back. So basically just a delayed answer to The Call to show us her resolve has been fortified.

The memories are resealed but she's still under observation/being chased. I think it's unlikely for her to exit the story and go back to being a normal girl, but it could happen. She's had too much attention and build-up to simply be allowed to go back to school in my opinion. Unless it's to further explore the choice that Chihiro said he couldn't make.

No matter what happens, I love that Chihiro gave Iori the choice with no implications on what she should choose. He's still the same kindhearted guy thrust into a violent world he's not at all built for.

Also, just one more thing...

Sleep is for everyone else.

Yeah. Chihiro's got his foot on the gas pedal and will not ease up on himself one bit. He's going to break sooner or later. Who will be there to help put him back together? Hm...

Alright. Cut a rant and will just wait for next week to see what happens. I'm going a bit stir-crazy but that's just what happens when following a weekly manga sometimes. Hopefully next week is explosive enough to make the wait to see other characters again a bit more bearable. In the meantime, have a good week and give yourself a hug if you need one, kind void.

[foreverisntenough]

welp. we offered him more money and he still left. wanted to blame fsg but i can’t even do that anymore. given the news is true, he’s made the decision to abandon his supposed principles & leave his boyhood club on a free for an institution that has never been anything more than a beacon of artificiality and one-dimensional politics. it’s slimy and it’s incredibly disingenuous as someone who always spoke about retiring with the club, and no amount of ‘but but but’s and bs justification will ever change that. he’s desecrating his legacy in favor of greed. it’s just incredibly disappointing, especially since he’s been my favorite player for years & i stupidly believed him wholeheartedly when he claimed he loved the city & would retire at liverpool. i suppose that’s on me for expecting rich men to have any principles, even him.

Erm... I feel like I saw this message or portions of it on tumblr on other blogs or twitter which makes me a bit nervous but I'll answer nevertheless...

I firmly believe this is not a black and white situation. Like anything in life and in football, it'll be up for people's discretion how they view him go forward. Trent has always been highly polarizing and a very easy target, and often scapegoated. This is amongst many, but if not the largest woe in his career and it won't be the last but probably the most defining.

I've never excused him of fault and this is something I probably won't ever let go or "forgive" but he's lost me come June 30th. That's not my player. I won't ever pray for a downfall or injury. But I support my reds and it makes me feel sick if I'm honest imagining him wearing that jersey. I won't root for him. Simple as.

This is the wrong decision in my opinion and was handled in the wrong way by every single party involved; both clubs, Trent, those who advise him, and by "reliable and reputable" media.

It is not coy that after he is injured and LFC are knocked out of the champions league the contracts news begins to leak by spanish media, it's not coincidence ITV today re-posts clips of Trent saying he wants to win the Ballon D'or, it's not accidental that ESPNuk post a poll of who is better between Reece James vs. Trent on twitter when one has just scored for the country and the other has his own city's fan base turning on him. He is treated with a lot of heat and expectation, no matter what has happened in his career and today was another testament to that.

Even so, something I personally am struggling with most at the moment is that I am hurt. Stats and dollar signs aside, I am hurt as a human being. But it's not lost on me that there are "human" motives behind what caused this to unfold this way; ego, pride, fear, greed, rejection, want. From everyone- not solely Trent, but he will have to be the one to wear this decision... it is his face, his name on the line.

Yes, this is so beyond painful but this is also a person being treated this way and that makes me ache and yet it's the very same reason it makes me so angry with him. Although, that's life and the two can exist at the same time.

But I find myself most upset lately, past 24 because I often think "doesn't he know how hurt we are/ would be?" And yet simultaneously I question, why is his career meant to cater to emotions and that's where I think a lot of people divide. Where is the line of responsibility here?

He lost a legacy in the decision, but legacy is based on the past and we cannot predict his future, despite our best assumptions. In staying he is risking a lot and in leaving, it's just the same. And ultimately, that came down to the player and the voices around him influence and that is something I think we'll never get a full story or "correct" version of.

I think what makes this situation all the more heightened is that it's Liverpool, specifically. This would not happen the same way to a let's say a Wolverhampton boy. With the internet inhabited by generations of fans, it was a shit show today. You (not you specifically anon) just don't get it unless you are a scouser. You just don't unless you are one of them because of the history, so as much as this is a career, football, it also to many feels like betraying his own, his community. And I agree, I see that, I feel that. This decision pisses me the fuck off frankly.

So many people today said, "they'd do it for free." And I do not think they're lying. I actually cited this example the other month, I used my dad lol. That said, Trent has grown up in a very different environment to them. I think if this didn't happen to Trent, a boy 10 minutes from Melwood, if he didn't make it as a footballer, he'd say the same thing. He loves football like everyone else.

But Trent, from 2017 onward and to be honest, much before that once he was properly in the academy and in international teams, hasn't been a "scouser" in a way a lot of people in the city have been and have grown up. And I'll be honest a lot of animosity came his way today that didn't just arise in the last 12 months. There was a lot of long buried, envy. For example, you have John Smith whose 75 years old saying 'who the fuck does this kid think he is? ' And that's merited when he has that history and awareness of the city. And Trent SHOULD'VE had that. Decision aside, the discretion and way this was handled should've been reflective of OUR club and OUR city; which is different than any other in the world and he did not do that.

And that connects to his family just the same. They have not had "normal" lives since his debut. And people can call him and his brothers rats, greedy etc... but I question again, where is the line of responsibility here? How are they meant to act... ( to be clear, I'm not excusing any indiscretions here- I just don't have concrete examples on me, merely rumors.) Still, some people bleed red, some blue in that city and I think that's what's made this hard to stomach is because we have SOO much footage of this 'local lad' contradicting this exact decision. We're dumbfounded because we'd do it for free and he felt the same. It's an honor but now it appears he doesn't "feel" that way and people have to find someone to blame here, even if it's coming after a 30 year old brother. And that to me is why there will never be a finite, unanimous decision on this is because we won't ever get all the information. Some will say he's a snake, and some will say he will always be a scouser.

At some point in time he moves from L12 to a nice private neighborhood tucked between the two big cities. And i think being "from Liverpool" then becomes an "idea" and it's hard to stay in it. And by "it" I mean the city and in this concept of what a Scouse player is like after he's taken himself out of it. Because often times, and one of many reasons so many people are up in arms about this move - is it's seen as if "better" to Trent means "not Liverpool." There's awful tropes about the city that aren't based in fact but like any major city, this one can struggle and has but it's also defined in humbleness and resilience, and a whole lot of love. I think I look to something like community involvement. And I think Trent has been charitable in the city- but at what degree? I actually think a lot tbh but that clearly didn't matter either to him or to his team to publicize so we don't know and/ or we've forgotten. And now push come to shove, in a way, this feels like a massive smack in the face to the entire city.

It's a toss of the coin of opinion when you talk to someone right now. But I think collectively there's disappointment, no matter who you blame here. I think the fact there is "blame" at all is incredibly reflective of this terrible dichotomy created. I've spoken a lot about my opinions on FSG, and how ludicrous the contract situation is to begin with and the one that's to come. Still, I do think what's caused the most disappointment was the management of Trent's awareness and appreciation of how truly loved he was to the public, and to the fans.

I' think there's a part of him that knows he's been in for a rude awakening when fans "found out" considering how this has been handled. His character was tested this past year and half... and he failed. I'll be honest. I don't buy the "he wasn't focused on the season" bs, but off the pitch, he's failed to me. And what's unfortunate is like I said at the beginning of this rant is that it's his face and his name on the line not an agency, a finance department, a journalist or a boardroom. Him.

So when he leaves that little slice of heaven he's created between Manchester and Liverpool, he'll find out just how beloved he was because his own, scousers, LFC fans have loved him through thick... and the absolute fucking thinnest.

And the bit that I think is ironic to a degree, is that accent will always define him... Try as you might, succeed as you do, that accent has history behind it, and he's chose to leave that history, his name is out of those books come June 30th, and that city will move on from him... but he can't move on from it.

This was long... I'm reeling. sorry xx

[libraryledge]

The Road to Success (And to the Oscars)

Last night in Los Angeles, was the first public screening of A Complete Unknown, and many critics received the film with high praise. With this in mind, I can't express how much I'd love for Timothée Chalamet to win his first Oscar this year. Yes, I am a fan of his, but it goes deeper than that. He's worked for years to prepare for the role of young Bob Dylan on his rise to fame. The opportunity for this biopic came to him before the release of blockbuster films such as Dune and Wonka, which made Chalamet a household name. He read countless books, listened to hours worth of music, and traced Dylan's footsteps in order to get into the headspace of singer in the 1960's. He not only trained his voice to capture the artist's sound, but most importantly worked to embody the folk legend's essence.

Interestingly, Chalamet would be the youngest best actor winner in the Academy Awards' history if he won. He already made history in 2018 for being the youngest best actor nominee in almost 80 years for his role in Call Me By Your Name. As someone who is passionate about acting and cinema and would love to work in the industry someday, this gives me hope. Young people are often underestimated because they are believed to have short attention spans or not possess enough experience to make an impact in the world of filmmaking. Chalamet disproves this by not only leading an incredible ensemble cast in A Complete Unknown, but by serving double duty as a producer on the film as well. While it is true that as the up and coming generation, we must learn from the achievements of those before us, it doesn't mean that we aren't capable of blazing our own path and proving that we have enough grit and determination to make waves in the industry.

However, as much of a milestone it would be for Chalamet to win an Oscar, awards aren't what make a film or performer great. Rather, the passion and dedication to a project are what lead to success. Bob Dylan himself is someone who knew that best. Yes, people sung his praises and applauded his lyricism, but even when those who once commended him turned their back on him, he persevered with his craft. To this day, Dylan's aim isn't for recognition, but rather the ability to get his point across and share the art he creates with audiences.

Whether the Academy will reward Chalamet during its ceremony in March for his commitment towards bringing Dylan's story to life is something that only time will tell. Since this award season has several directors, actors, and peers that the young actor collaborated with throughout his career, who are in the running for other top prizes, it would certainly make for an emotional night. It would be incredible to witness this full circle moment of the actor being called to the stage to face a room filled with people who watched him grow both as a person and performer over the past decade. Whether Timothée Chalamet will take home the coveted statue remains a mystery whose answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. However, one thing is for certain: award or not, he is already a winner as he has inspired countless individuals like myself who know that tenacity and love for one's craft are truly the road to success.

(Current Oscar Predictions According to Variety Magazine)

[woodsfae]

B5 S04E01 The Hour of the Wolf  previous episode - table of contents 

It's good to be back - I wanted to watch, but whenever I typed it hurt. Feeling much better now! 

I quickly browsed my last post to make sure I remembered what was going on and remembered something I wanted to say to John Sheridan. 

John. :| I like you, I do. But recall, you had to earn that affection and you kinda rode on Susan Ivanova's shoulders for awhile. As far as I was concerned. So yeah, I like you. But - and this is critical - I like Delenn a lot more than I like you. So no more shaking Delenn by the shoulders, m'kay? /speaking directly to the characters 2000's fanfic author-style

press play

G'Kar continues his trend of being the narrator. Sheridan - lost on Z'ha'dum. Garibaldi - captured by the Shadows. Ivanova - traumatized. Mollari - wished on the monkey's paw and it came true. Delenn - religious fasting and prayer. But of G'Kar himself, he says nothing. He only muses about Sheridan and Garibaldi's fates. 

Oooooh, new opening! Hearing from all the humans and also Delenn but no other aliens. It's punchier and faster than the previous openings, or at least it feels like it - I didn't check.

Aww Susan does not look like she's having a good time listening to the computer recite her incredibly busy schedule. 

Things are tense. The various species who signed the Babylon 5 are pulling their ships - or at least, most of them. They don't want to press the attack like Ivanova is trying to persuade them to do. They believe that if you go to Z'ha'dum, you die. If they go, they die. Sheridan went, and Sheridan's dead. 

It does look like, at this point, that Dr Franklin won't be involved in circumventing the prophecy that if Sheridan goes, he dies. So I am left to wonder how it will be fulfilled and then sidestepped! Knowing Sheridan's wiles, it'll either be incredibly petty levels of pedantry, overwhelming force, or overwhelming force from an unexpected direction and source. 

Centauri Prime looks...glossy. 

The Emperor is Cartagia. I will try to remember this. Londo has met him twice: one when he was a drooling infant, and once when he was "15 and trying to look up the skirts of the court ladies,." delightful. He is incredibly pretentious. 

He actually puts his fucking finger in one of the ladies' mouths while talking about walking among the common people in his short crest. So, so cringe. She seems to be into it. 

I hate Centauri court already. :| Luckily, Londo also hates it, so we can be comrades in arms in this terrible place. His suffering makes him more tolerable for sure. 

Vir has been collecting information from Londo's Shadows contacts while he's gone! And they're coordinated enough to report what happened in the last episode with a high degree of accuracy. The chasm he jumped into is two miles deep. That's only a little short of falling the height of Mt Fuji. And Susan has a sad about her friend. :/  Little does she know, he's gonna be resurrected.

Fucking Morden is here to make Londo's day a little better. And oh my god, he got fucked up. But the Shadows claim he'll "be better soon." Better be dead soon! >.> Emperor Cartagia knows about Morden, so he claims. And he's made a deal with the Shadows - the Shadows are putting ships around Centauri Prime.

New prophecy prediction: Londo's going to murder Emperor Cartagia. Still not sure if he'll be the direct successor, though. Logic says yes, but drama says maybe-no.

Delenn wishes to speak with not-Kosh, but Lyta says no. not-Kosh doesn't speak. Hasn't come to any council meetings, won't return Delenn's calls. Until he does speak! He knows what's up, but won't do anything. He calls Sheridan irrelevant. And says that Sheridan's actions opened an unexpected door. So although there was a prophecy that Sheridan would go to, and die on, Z'ha'dum, he carried it out in an unexpected way? That's cool. Vorlon-stymying machine, that one!

But with how he's dealing with Delenn, he's sure destroying some of her respect for the Vorlons as an elder species and demigods of the universe. 

 So funny that Zack Allen notices someone's in Garibaldi's quarters by seeing the door half open. Since when to the doors ever do anything but open and then close again immediately. lol. 

G'Kar is searching his quarters and they have a friendly chat. Ahh and here's the famous scene about Daffy Duck being described to G'Kar as a god of frustration! That's pretty good. 

Is...is G'Kar saying that he owes Garibaldi, and his new mindset he got from being in prison...in a good way? yikes. Anyway, he's off to find Garibaldi. It would be pretty funny if, as serenely as he describes his new quest, he also carries it out thus. Then serenely punches Garibaldi after he rescues him. haha. But that won't happen, I'm sure - they've seemed to be on good terms, and the show really doesn't seem to understand what horrific injustices they are putting the Narns, and G'Kar, through without any thematic wins. 

Emperor Cartagia is not only allowing Shadows to post ships around the planet, but also a palace to stay in. 

He's a megalomaniac with literal delusions of impending godhood. "I've known all my life that it's what I was born for." WHAT. 

"When I become a god, I will forgive you your rudeness, Mollari. [...] For now, I will simply try to forget it." lololol

ah! not-Kosh is sucking Lyta! And not in the fun way! She does not look well. She's 'carrying him with her', and not in the same way she 'carried Kosh'. Hm. Mysterious telepathy and mysterious Vorlon shit. Oh - and I didn't notice till she put on her environment mask, but not-Kosh was making her freaking stand in the wrong atmosphere for her while he used her strength! Seriously messed up. Is not-Kosh about to be the first Vorlon of the second war of the shadows to defect?? Or just an example of "With friends like that, who needs enemies,"?

I. Don't believe that Vir sleeps with his crest up. Or that it stays up in anyone sleep. It's just hair! Like, even a mohawk but up with elmer's glue gets crushed if you squish it in your sleep, no? There's just no way. That's too silly and literally in a show of silliness, broke my suspension of disbelief, hah. 

Susan Ivanova claims she hasn't slept in seven days???? GIRL. Susan-Lyta bonding time going on. Rather, Susan is describing an existential crisis, but in the most melodramatic way possible. And says when her dad was going through it he would drink vodka before bed to keep the wolf away. Hm. Alcoholism runs in that family, judging by the glass also in Susan's hand. She's feeling rough! 

Lyta has a mission in mind. She says Kosh was sensitive to both Lyta and Sheridan, so if she gets near Z'ha'dum she might be able to sense if he's alive or not. Susan says, hmmm don't think telepathy works like that. Authorized. And Delenn and I are coming too. 

Lyta is confidently exhibiting Psi confidence I would not attribute to The Gathering Lyta. I think she's grown to well above Psi 5.

This is genuinely quite tense. Lyta's eyes went all black. Delenn is trying to reach out with or through Lyta, which is also something I was pretty sure telepaths couldn't do. 

And now Susan is joining in on being eerie. 

The Shadows have sensed them. They are looking. ANd Susan says she has been here before. Instead of running, Susan ordered the ship to descend. And then! They jump away!

Lennier was s m a r t. He programmed the ship to jump back to B5 if he didn't hit a button every two minutes. So while they all got long distance hypnotized or some shit, past!Lennier saved present!everyone. Go Lennier! 

So the Shadows are not only weak to telepaths, but they also have some sort of telepathic ability. Not the way the lower species' telepathy works, but more like an individual nightmare that draws each one in separately. Spooky as fuck.

But from the lack of response from Sheridan, they've concluded he's dead. Or Susan has, at least, I don't know if Delenn will give up hope or not. I kinda think Lennier won't. I think Lennier will always choose hope. 

Probably Sheridan staggering through a tunnel on Z'ha'dum. What did he drop, tho. I don't recognize the metallic, squarish, long and thin object. end teaser interlude.

"Vir, when you are mad you say these things the way you or I would talk about the weather!" -Londo, filling Vir in on the situation that Londo created with his string of disastrous decisions

Ugh, Londo speaks in quotations. So quotably. He says that Vir is his friend in a flowery way. And asks for help. And Vir's like "dude...when have I ever not helped you." and Londo's like "fantastic, we need to plan a regicide." Poor Vir. Always getting dragged into terrible situations. By Londo. 

Susan Ivanova's personal log: I need to plan war things. And I need help. I know where to get help. And I need to stop being sad that o Captain my captain! is dead.  honey. :(

New alien ! On Z'ha'dum. Sheridan has memory issues. But was still able to find fuel for a fire and start one. His fire-sharing companion gazes deeply at him, stroking one ear. 

yesss that's the way to build tension right at the end of an episode. The ole gaze-staring ear stroke. ._. 

Lol. It was a good episode! It'll be fun to see how the new season's arcs get set up and what I can figure out!

next!

[sand-seeks-sun]

For Lover and Country

Part 3 in a series - Start with part 1 here, or back to part 2 here ! (WVR lvl 55 quest in character writing - quest line spoilers guaranteed)

After their meeting last was one of mostly sitting quietly in each other's company while Kham was busy with making Averil her gloves it wasn't exactly within his expectations to have his client eager to talk this time - though, more predictably was her need of another garment…

"I mean, of course tea was just perfect! My gloves fit perfectly, and my dear sweetheart was there! Clumsy as he is… and.. well, perhaps more discouraged than I typically find him." Averil started into their conversation easily, like talking to a true friend.

Kham naturally tuned all of his attention to her, like a true friend. "…How do you figure?"

Averil looked to him with a face that showed more surprise than she cared to voice, for even if it was a bit of a surprise for her hired weaver to speak back to her in much more than single words it would be too much a distraction to address it; Not when she had something she did wish to speak of.

"Well, he means to become a soldier. He says it suits his skills better than conjury, but! He's not the kind for it, I just know. He's far too careless and, well… I would only feel at ease to be the one to look over him. Someone has to!"

Kham found himself nodding along to her rather impassioned speech… that is, until the end.

"You would be putting yourself in danger too." His concern is plain, even behind the thick scarf that ever covered his lower face, "To protect someone else like that, you'll need-"

"Protective gear! And practice, naturally." Averil interjected, though most likely not meaning to - It was just her energy for her own ideas coming through, "Something that enhances my abilities or protections… and looks fashionable. So that my mother won't be the least bit suspicious!"

Khamgaal thought of speaking more his mind, but he feared it may make him seem just like her mother in this moment, So… He nodded in squinting agreement to her plan. At least with his hands trusted to work he knows he can do his part in protecting her.

"The only problem is… I've no idea what's in fashion. So-"

"Nor do I." Khamgaal cut over her words a bit, hoping to mirror how Averil had with him earlier both to tease her and make his point quite plain before she presumed anything.

"…of course." At least the point of her prior rudeness seems to be conveyed, as Averil pursed her lips a bit in embarrassment before continuing. "I'm certain that if you ask around the Last Vigil there will be townsfolk who can tell you what's in style."

"Well, then." Kham said with a bit of a huff as he came to his feet, "So long as my task isn't to distract your mother again, I'm happy to."

--------

"So…" Averil crossed her arms in a mirror of the posture Khamgaal made before her as they reunited, "Cavalier's hats, huh?"

"S'what I'd heard. Multiple times."

"But what of making the hat more helpful for healing purposes? I truly haven't an idea what that would entail."

Averil questioned.

"I-…(Hrmph) I do." Khamgaal cleared his throat to make sure he spoke clearly enough to sound confident. "I've made something like this before. Well… not a hat. But, you know? For Healing. For Healers. That… stuff."

Averil chuckled to his clumsy attempt at confidence, but not so much so as to discourage him. In fact, her mimicking of his posture had most certainly been noticed by this point, and as Kham continues to speak he makes a test of it by putting his hands now on his hips.

"It was gloves, specifically, which you know by now I make incredibly well. I believe someone's still wearing them, even."

And, just as Averil had begun to move her crossed arms to her hips, she then abruptly tucked them behind her back to stubbornly hide the fact he'd pointed out.

"Well, you most certainly do excel in places of previous experience, from what I've seen. So? You're equipped to make something of similar healing qualities?"

That's enough talking for now - Kham simply nodded three times to show his preparedness and excused himself to make her requested hat. Skill would speak louder than words for now, for this - for even if he held reservations about Averil being safe in possible combat, concern for her giving her time to another's well being over her own, or worries of her mother learning of any of this… Those were just reflections on himself, weren't they?

He really couldn't stop how his mind keeps drawing these parallels with his client's similar adolescent woes. Different as Kham and Averil are on the surface to one another and to outsiders they share something in their nature that rings like a familiar bell over and over in his horns and nearly distracts his skilled hands from their job. If only, in moments like this as they grow more and more common for him, Kham could separate his mind and body fully to allow one to work with efficiency and the other to inefficiently work on it's own sticking problems... If only he could keep from worrying with every pull of his needle about her possible harm, or heartbreak, or worse. Would she think of asking him for help? To at least talk about her problems again, or deeply? Averil surely trusts by now that he means well, but would she value the experiences he has? Would she see herself in him, like he does her? Maybe...

It might not solve anything, but it was a nice distraction until the last seam pulled up into place.

--------

Returned with Averil's requested cap made to perfect completion in his hands, Khamgaal is surprised to be beaten to her side by a young boy in knight's clothing. And a rather clumsy one at that... He knew before words are said to clarify who this most likely was. Luckily too, since before much words of the sort could be exchanged, Averil took her hat with a sense of urgency to use it's enhancement to help in healing the clumsy boy - Her "Friend", as she made clear. It was a sweet sight to Khamgaal, though, to finally see how she behaved around her crush.

Though...

Likely not nearly as sweet a sight for Glenda, who happened to be passing through to check for herself how her daughter's lessons were getting along...

[eddiezpaghetti]

Hallo! Like many other people, I found you thanks to the incredible piece on why Byler IS GONNA be endgame. In your second/response post on this matter you briefly mentioned Supernatural, Teen Wolf and Sherlock, and I was wondering if you could make direct comparisons to these cases and explain how exactly they differ from Byler. If you knew about these shows while they were still airing, did you also strongly believe or at least had a bit of hope that those ships would become canon? If no, what are the main differences that make ST's pair so unique? If yes, do you believe you overlooked/assumed things back then that you now account for better? And sorry if this is an annoying or repetitive question, I imagine you've gotten a bunch of similar requests and you might want to distance yourself from the topic alr + from what little I know about those 2010s shows I can already kind of predict the answer myself thanks to your definitions of queerbaiting v queer-coding v accidental romance, so I guess this is more of an excuse so I get a chance to read another one of your masterful posts, apologies for that hehe <3

Honestly, I used those examples because they're really well-known in general, not because I'm an expert on those pieces of media. A piece of media I probably know better on a personal level that did queerbaiting isn't even a great example because it was just on such a small scale, but definitely still held true under "We're doing this simultaneously to pander to and make fun of queer people," but no one was too invested because it was with a minor character, so no one cared much, and no one really believed was going to happen. Tonally, though, it matches up with the other examples, and it's another piece of shit that came straight outta Moffat's ass. Uhh...

Yes, that's James Corden. Not relevant. The important thing is that this is a scene that works as an example of what The Queerbaiting Tone™ feels like.

If you haven't seen Doctor Who--first of all, how did you find Tumblr, but more importantly--this character was in a whopping two episodes. Minor character, had a love interest, but his relationship with the Doctor was still remarkably, like, intimate?

The doctor's companions never joined him on the episodes he was with this character, they were roommates for a while (oh my god they were roommates), they had the whole one-sided-rivals thing (Corden's character was jealous of how the Doctor seemed to charm everyone around him while the Doctor just wanted Corden's character safe and happy), there was a goddamn scene where Corden's character got poisoned and the Doctor nursed him back to health complete with staying at his bedside and gently brushing the hair out of his eyes and all that shit... And the second episode Craig (I just remembered the character's name--shut up, it's been a while) was in happened because the Doctor was informed he was about to die and he decided Craig was someone he wanted to see just one last time.

Then the above scene happened.

And you can see that, like, it's blatantly a joke, Craig mentions he has a wife, he's such a minor character that no one actually believes he's going to romance the Doctor and run away with him, but all of the genuine moments between them still happened. This is still a character the Doctor (normally a ~mysterious~ character) chose to have a goddamn Vulcan-style mind-meld with.

And, again, this was a joke. The punchline is the idea of them being gay. Hilarious. Two men being in love. Absolutely ground-breaking humor.

Queerbaiting is just that scene, and those two episodes of Doctor Who, but with a much longer buildup to the punchline. The longer that buildup is, the more real it feels. The more effort is spent on it, the more you want to believe it's too much effort to be a joke. And the more space is spread about between them, the harder it is to remember all the little micro-jokes the big joke is made of.

And again, Byler has never had that. Stranger Things has never had that. I'd love to show every goddamn scene with a queer character or queerness mentioned in the show just to prove that it's not the same, but that's hard because it's harder to show the absence of something than the presence of something. It'd take too long. And the sincere scenes that do make up Will and Mike's love story, those are between the jokes with queerbaiting. Again, there was a scene in Doctor Who where Craig got poisoned and the Doctor stayed by his bedside and made him tea and did his work for him in the meantime so he wouldn't fall behind. But, again, that's between jokes.

Mike and Will have never developed their relationship between jokes. They're not a punchline. There's no joke here. It's only Mike desperately calling Will's name through the radio when he hears him singing. It's only Mike saying that meeting him was the best thing he's ever done. It's only Will tearfully telling Mike that he wanted to play games with him for the rest of his life. It's only Will giving Mike a veiled confession by projecting his feelings onto El. Over and over and over again, it's sincere, sincere, sincere, sincere, sincere.

Their closeness isn't funny, it's just love. And that's the difference.

[douglysium]

Episode 9 TMP Quick Thoughts

Housekeeping and Prologue

Hello, this is Douglysium and you might not know me as that guy who wrote over 100 pages of analysis on the Eye (which can be read on Tumblr here (https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/735599414228484097/the-relationships-between-the-dread-powers-the) or Google Docs here (The Relationships Between the Dread Powers: The Eye- Knowledge is Fear and Ignorance is Bliss)) or as that guy who wrote an article on the Extinction (which can be read on Tumblr here(https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/717929126195003392/what-would-avatars-of-the-extinction-be-like-a) and Google Docs here(​What would Avatars of the Extinction be like?: A TMA Speculation)). Suffice to say I might be a bit of a TMA fan. Also, spoilers for TMP up until episode 8. You can read my ramblings on the last episode here (Episode 8 TMP Quick Thoughts).

However, Protocol offers a very unique opportunity and experience for me because I didn’t actually get into TMA until after it was over and I binged all of it. So this is my first time experiencing something even remotely similar to what the original TMA fans probably experienced when waiting for each episode week by week and slowly having to put everything together with the limited information they had. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring since this might be my only chance to do something similar. However, I’m working on some longer form TMA content so I can’t spend as much time on these articles giving a bunch of super detailed thoughts. I will try to keep these short and that inevitably might mean some could have questions about why I think or predict certain things and in those cases I would probably recommend you read at least some of the two articles I mentioned above to get a better idea of where I’m coming from. This also means I won’t be giving you a play-by-play of every single thing that happens in the episode so I encourage you to listen to or read them yourselves and feel free to comment if you feel something is important.

These reviews are probably going to end up focusing mostly on the Entities and their manifestations as they are what I have thought about the most and spent the most time interpreting and there’s been a lot of… interesting theories floating around about how the Entities are manifesting that I want to go over.

Finally, I’m just going to say it right now, spoiler warning for all of The Magnus Archives. I know that Jon and co said one could start with Protocol and be fine, and while that’s probably true, media like this tends to be made in conversation with or take into consideration what came before it in the irl chronology in order to connect them. While I’m sure you could skip The Magnus Archives, I don't really see the point of skipping over it when we are already getting characters from TMA showing up in TMP in Protocol. So to me it’s pretty clear that if we want to understand the full picture of TMP and all the things it is trying to say then we can’t just try to pretend TMA doesn’t exist or scrub it away. Just because you could understand what’s happening without the context in broad strokes doesn’t mean you're getting all the nuances.

These articles are meant to be quick and short so sorry if there’s typos and if I don’t address every possible question or possibility. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this series outside of the prologue so be sure to skim some of my other articles.

Episode 9 “Rolling With It”

As has become the custom at this point, we join whatever / whoever is witnessing the events of TMP through some sort of a device (one of the OIAR computers in this case). Sam is organizing a large stack of papers as Celia enters the room and sits at her computer. Sam seems incredibly focused on filling out these papers, so much so that Sam didn’t even seem to notice or acknowledge Celia’s presence until she directly addresses him.

Celia asks him what he's doing and Sam explains “Just filling in some more onboarding paperwork. You know what it’s like.” Celia is puzzled since she hasn’t gotten anything similar since day 1 and Sam explains “It’s my own fault. I checked a box for a Response department one-to-one.” So whatever is going on with the papers right now has to do with the papers Sam started filling out in episode 5. However, this situation doesn’t sit completely right with me. First off, in that episode it sounded like Sam never actually finished the original 1-to-1 form since Alice stopped him. This could easily be because curiosity got the better of Sam and he just decided to fill it out later but Sam specifically says that this is all happening because he “checked a box for a Response department one-to-one.” A single box. I could just be taking this too literally and Sam just filled out the form when Alice wasn’t around and is saying one of the boxes he checked is causing this to happen but Celia mentions “Yeah… Alice mentioned something about that. Also, that there hasn’t been a Response department for years now?”

So this appears to be caused by the same paperwork Alice was present for. This means either Sam is lying about something or there might be something strange afoot. If we assume that this is due to the paperwork in episode 5 then did Sam submit something incomplete? I don’t remember anything in that episode implying Sam went back and submitted that paper somewhere even if it’s possible. Is it possible someone or something somehow seemed to know when Sam filled out the form. Something like The Eye (which we know is prone to do random stuff like this) or some similar Entity? 

Sam and Celia continue to talk about how pointless this entire thing seems and Sam justifies continuing to fill these forms out anyway by saying “Well, I refuse to give it the satisfaction of giving up.” This justification sounds similar to Colin not wanting to give any of the OIAR computers satisfaction.

Sam and Celia go over some of the weird questions on the one-to-one.

SAM 

“Exactly. And honestly, it’s kind of compelling by this point. Like its deliberately weird and pointless y’know?”

CELIA 

“How so?”

SAM 

“Look. (He pulls some paperwork across. CELIA pulls in closer)”

CELIA 

“(reading) Please list your earliest four negative memories associated with school or an equivalent childhood educational institution, then rate each from zero to seven with zero being neutral and seven being traumatic. (laughing) I’m sorry what?”

SAM 

“It gets better.”

CELIA 

“(digging through pages) Please list every dead creature you have seen in the last three months… how many blood transfusions have you had within the last ten years… “Why?” Why what?”

SAM 

“(smiling) Just “Why”” 

CELIA 

“Well, that’s… something “

SAM 

“Isn’t it? And even better, I know noone will ever read it.”

I’ve been arguing that, along with the idea that Smirke’s 14 categories are probably still applicable or around to some degree, the OIAR is probably somehow connected to the Eye (or at the very least has a lot of parallels to it). There’s the computers, statements, and voices of Jon and Martin obviously but you also have stuff like this. For one, while strange contracts or paperwork could easily connect to The Web or something similar, The Eye is no stranger to them either. The most obvious example of this in TMA is the contract those working in the Magnus Institute’s Archives had to sign. One which supernaturally bound them to Jonah / the Institute. Additionally, Sam’s paperwork having odd and strangely prying questions is quite in line with The Eye and the idea of something snooping or trying to know too much about you (like sensitive information). 

Celia refers to the paperwork and Reference department as an “automated bureaucratic system.” This could be automated by some sort of technology very easily but it could be automated by someone or something like an Entity or monster acting behind the scenes. If it turns out Sam actually didn’t submit the Request department’s form and somehow something was just randomly notified that he checked a box that would fit in line with The Eye and the propensity it and its followers have to knowing stuff they shouldn’t or some form of “clairvoyance.” Since The Eye is also the fear of secrets being revealed or made known Sam’s line of “I know noone will ever read it.” becomes a lot more ominous. I also wonder if these papers are purposefully being used as some sort of breadcrumbs or bait. Sam says that he’s doing this for fun but he could be skeptical about the existence of the Response department. 

I end up beating this dead horse every video and I’m not 100% sure it applies here because Sam says he’s filling out these papers for fun and absurdity, however what I’m saying will come back up very soon anyway. As I’ve mentioned previously The Eye doesn’t just seem to be the fear of being watched but knowledge in general. Not just in the sense that someone might get knowledge about you that you don’t want them to know (such as where you live / are) but also that you yourself might know or see something you don’t want to. In MAG 200 The Eye is stated to have been born from the fear of one’s eyes showing them too much and this would thematically explain Jonah’s ability to shove information into the heads of people like Martin and Melanie (he’s forcing them to confront information they don’t want to). Additionally, similar to how The Hunt often cultivates personalities or desires relating to pursuit, and the Slaughter for anger, The Eye seems to do something similar for curiosity. That is to say, it loves to use the promise of answers or tempting one’s curiosity in order to drag them into its clutches as either victims or followers.

Jon originally went to the Institute looking for answers about his encounter with The Web and Sam is here looking for answers about The Magnus Institute. Both Jonah and The Eye love to leave breadcrumbs and information that promote curiosity and a desire for answers. At one point in TMA Gertrude even describes The Eye as also being the idea of seeking knowledge even if in doing so you might get hurt somehow. I want to make it clear that when I point out the curiosity of Sam or his colleagues at the OIAR I am not saying it is unjustified or even unusual. I also don’t think everyone is a secret Eye Avatar or something. I’m trying to say that there are certain traits The Eye seems to like. People who are curious are more likely to “see too much” or watch others depending on their personality. Wanting to lash out in anger or self defense isn’t unusual or unprecedented behavior in certain situations but it’s still something that an Entity like The Slaughter likes to prey on no matter how justified it might be. This makes me wonder if, similar to how Jonah left trails of statements to guide Jon in the right direction and files to stoke the “nosy” parts of Rosie’s personality in TMA, that someone or something is purposefully trying to guide Sam in a certain direction for various reasons. There’s the potential paperwork sure but we get this interaction.

CELIA 

“Well, I’m glad you’re in a good mood, ‘cause I’ve got some bad news. I can’t find anything more on the Magnus Institute and honestly, at this point I am out of ideas.”

SAM 

“That’s all right. I really appreciate you humoring my little crusade but maybe Alice is right. Maybe I should pack it in.”

CELIA 

“I’m sorry.”

SAM 

“Life’s too short right?” 

CELIA 

“(standing) Isn’t it just. Fancy horrible coffee?”

SAM 

“Nah I’m good. Besides these bad boys won’t fill themselves in.” 

CELIA 

“(smirking) Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone.”

And then, I shit you not, the next statement CHESTER spits out starts with a ping to grab Sam’s attention before a “Magnus Institute – Manchester. Private and confidential.” The fucking second Sam gives up the computer just decides to give hima new lead. Alright, I can say with relative confidence that it’s pretty safe to assume that these statements aren’t completely random (at least not all of them). I don’t know who / what is picking them and when or for what reasons but if these statements are random some of the times they’ve popped up have been a hell of a fucking coincidence I’ll tell you what.

The statement also has this at its beginning

Magnus Institute – Manchester. 

Private and confidential. 

Viability as subject – none 

Viability as agent – low 

Viability as catalyst – Medium. 

Recommend referral to Catalytics for Enrichment applicability assessment. 

Last episode I wondered what was up with the TMP Magnus Institute’s “gifted kids programs” and wondered if they were looking for people with supernatural abilities or those who had some kind of interaction with leitners or artifacts. I don’t think the person in this statement is a kid but the mention of a subject, agent, and catalyst is interesting. I previously also wondered if perhaps the government was using the Entities as some sort of secret weapon or back pocket type stuff. Y’know Eye aligned spy networks or Slaughter enhanced soldiers, stuff like that.

I’m not really sure if this is the case or any of the stuff I’m mentioning is actually connected, and the Institute and government may be unrelated in this universe, but the mention of viability relating to “subject”, “agent”, and “catalyst” is curious and I don’t think terms like this were really used by the Institute in TMA. The most common and notable phrases were things like “Avatar”, “Monster”, “Marked”, “Victim”, etc.. I wonder what these newer phrases mean. Is it “subject” as in test subject? “Agent” like someone who is meant to investigate a Power or someone who is using the abilities of the Entities for some reason? “Catalyst?” A Catalyst for what? A catalyst for a ritual, a catalyst that an Entity is attracted to, a catalyst for abilities? I wonder if these terms are meant to refer to people or artifacts? Maybe I should actually comb through the statement before making long winded guesses though.

This statement revolves around a pair of dice and they are immediately presented as dangerous since the statement giver says “Yeah, I see you not touching them. Smart. But gloves aren’t going to be any protection if your hand slips and they go clattering across the table. I’d put them in that box real careful, because let me tell you, those babies are due for some serious bad luck.” They also mention “So yeah, I tell you all about them, how I got them, all that crap and you just… You take them away, right? You accept them? Good. I think. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. It’s how it worked for me, at least. Put them in whatever vault you like, bury them, drop them in the ocean, for all I care. All that matters is that they’re yours now.” This all seems similar to TMA’s Institute. The person recounting this tale is doing so in a form that sounds like a statement and the Institute in TMA is also noted as having an artifact storage. Sasha mentions that she worked there for a bit as a lab rat before moving to the Archives and noted some of the strange supernatural objects there.

The statement giver then proceeds to explain how they came across the dice. Their nerdy friend Gary roped them into playing a session of Advanced DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) before they drifted apart after they finished going to their school. But then last year someone named Carl breaks up with the narrator and moves to Doncaster, which means that they haven’t seen each other very much. Despite the fact that they weren’t “engaged or anything” the narrator says that the break up still hurts. That’s when the Gary guy from earlier suddenly calls the narrator asking them to join his playgroup. They end up going to Gary’s apartment and note that while the place looks nice Gary is “looking kind of haggard. He’s wearing this obviously expensive long-sleeved turtleneck but he’s got bags under his eyes, his trousers are torn and he’s walking with a limp. ” Given what we later learn about the dice, most likely the torn trousers and limp came from a bad event caused by a bad roll. The exhaustion might be due to the seemingly addictive nature of the dice in question.

The speaker asks Gary if he’s okay and Gary “mumbles something about a mugging so I leave it alone but I do notice that a bunch of the bulbs have blown and there’s a huge leak over his massive sound system. I don’t say anything though. I mean, it’s not like my tiny rented studio was any better. That said, I do notice a slight stain on his wall that I think might be blood.” Most likely these are the results of accidents caused by Gary messing around with the dice.

The narrator feels extremely awkward because of the scene and and the game Gary tries to teach them is “an entirely different kind of awkward ‘cause I have no idea what he’s on about. Then he says to me that he assumes I don’t have any dice of my own and I tell him no– I’ll have to use his. That puts a smile on his face. I know why now of course.” This is the point where Gary passes on the dice to the speaker. “I was expecting him to give me a bunch of those cheap little plastic dice with all the different points, but instead he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of normal ones. Six sides, off white, little black dots, you know what dice look like. I mean, you’re looking at them right now. I ask him if we need, you know, weird dice and he shakes his head, saying this game just uses “two dee six”. He holds them out for me to take them, so I do. God, they felt heavy.” A “d6” refers to a six sided dice. Considering how awkward the game is to the narrator and that it doesn’t seem to be like DnD, it’s very likely that this is a game Gary made up or went out of his way to pick so he would have an excuse to give this statement’s protagonist the two dice. Typically, most aspects of DnD require not only more than 2 people (with 4 to 5 usually being considered ideal) but rolling d20s (a twenty sided die). The narrator asking about “weird dice” could be them referring to d20s. There are certain things in DnD (such as specific spells) that involve rolling a d6 but in my limited experience those tend to be specific situations and I think Gary wants to guarantee that a d6 will have to be used.

The narrator notes “It’s been a while since I played the tables but I’ve played with enough bones to know they were too heavy... And there was something else too. From that point on I own those dice. And I know it.” Immediately after this moment Gary says he has a phone call from someone else in the playgroup saying they couldn’t make it so the game session was canceled. There’s no mention that Gary asks for the dice back or even explicitly offers it to the speaker. It just seems like the narrator just “knew” or it was implied somehow. “Do I really need to give you the whole lowdown on the next bit? I mean, you said you're specifically looking for, what was it, “supernaturally active items” right? I feel like when I tell you I'm giving you a pair of cursed dice you can probably put the pieces together.”

The narrator then begins to roll the dice and starts to notice certain patterns in how they work. “...they make stuff happen. I roll high, good things happen: job offers, free coffees from hot baristas, tax refund; I roll low, bad things happen: Broken tech, lost money, bad moods all around. And when I roll really low... Well, you’ve seen the scars.” So I guess that explains the sorry state of Garry and his apartment. I think it’s interesting that the narrator notes “free coffees from hot baristas” considering that they mentioned feeling hurt from a break up. We learn even more when we are told later in the statement “After a while, though, I did notice that… it's not actually random. You get a few high rolls, your next one's is probably going to be low. And if you've gotten all the bad luck out, you've got good things coming. I know, I know, that's meant to be ’superstition, but I’m telling you, I kept track and I've got enough maths in me to be sure of the odds. They’re not random, it all balances out eventually. So that’s when I get to thinking, what if the person rolling doesn't matter just as long as the rolls balance out overall... Well, you see where I'm going with this.”

“The thing is though I still don’t really know if they ever made me roll them. I mean, I did. A lot. And I knew that the risks probably outweighed the rewards but I don’t think I ever felt them like “calling” to me or anything y’know? It always felt like my choice. Even if it was a shitty choice. Besides, I've never gotten anything good in my life except by blind chance, so why should this be any different?” This remark raises the question on if the dice themselves make you more compelled to roll them or if it just so happens that the dice are somehow attracted to people with a predisposition or propensity for gambling or gambling addictions. However, the narrator also mentions “The weirdest thing, nobody ever said no. Some stranger approaches you slides a pair of dice over to you and tells you to roll them, you say no, right? But they always did. Sure, they'd give me weird looks, tell me to get lost, treat me like the creep I absolutely was, but they still rolled them. And sure, I know better than most everyone loves rolling dice but it does make me wonder how much control I ever really had... ” This could be something like The Web at play or maybe it’s another Entity considering it’s connection to addiction and fears relating to the idea of something else controlling you or a lack of free will.

“I did spread good luck as well as bad. After all, even when you stacked the odds, plenty of people got high numbers and then a letter arrives right there and then with welcome news. I hated them for it though. Those stupid damn grins as they robbed me of my good luck. But when they rolled low, when you could see the misfortune dropping over them like a shadow, or better yet when they rolled real low and you could be certain that the next throw would be a good one. There was a dark joy to that, I’ll admit.” So it doesn’t seem like rolling just any low number absolutely 100% guarantees the next number will be high but it does significantly raise the chances and vice versa for when you roll a high number. While there is, according to the person giving the statement, a pattern of some sort, said pattern still has some luck involved. They even say “And my system worked. It wasn’t perfect, I’d still get a few dud rolls here and there: a broken down car, a missed payment, once I even went through a plate glass window, but for the most part I’d really turned stuff around for myself, offloading all the crap to someone else for a change. Clearly something that idiot Gary had never even thought to try.” Whether or not you actually want to believe this person or want to assume that they were just justifying their continued gambling is up to you.

I question if their assessment about Gary never trying to offload the bad luck onto other people is correct. Like they said, their system was imperfect, so is what they saw just the result of the bad rolls? They did just say that they flew through a glass plate window at some point, but then again the narrator sounds like they are in a better state than Gary at this moment.

Over time the effects of the die seem to shift as the narrator says “And then it started to change and the luck was… different. Not in whether it was good or bad, but how it was good or bad. At first, it had all been pretty normal stuff, sometimes even predictable but gradually it started becoming more… I don’t know, abstract? Like it used to be getting an extra hashbrown or whatever and then it became just being in a good mood and then finally you couldn’t even pin down what had happened you just knew something had. And as my luck kept getting better and better I started to feel less and less… connected to the world. Like I was a lucky ghost, or something, walking with normal but not really one of them anymore. I was just this figure stepping into their lives long enough to gift them fortune or, more often, misery before moving on.” The fact that they call themselves “this figure stepping into their lives long enough to gift them fortune or, more often, misery before moving on” is actually interesting because it sounds suspiciously like the gentleman in Episode 4 and his spiel about luck. I don’t think this narrator and the gentleman are the same person (because the timeline wouldn’t add up) but the gentleman did say “"Luck assumes a myriad of forms, " he proclaimed, his practiced manner warm and inviting, “and today it takes the form of a simple traveler offering you his wares. You mentioned playing the violin, I believe?”” It is also noted that the gentleman in question had a pair of gambling dice among their wares. I wonder if these dice are the same pair.

Weirdly tying into this, the narrator gets like REALLY into character. They “started to enjoy that more than the luck. I was rolling for myself less and less, focusing more on being some mysterious stranger. I even began dressing for the part: I got hold of this long dark coat, a wide-brimmed hat, grew a proper goatee, the works.” This is kind of hilarious because the narrator was bashing roleplaying earlier, but also intriguing because I wonder if the personality we saw from the gentleman in Episode 4 was being brought about or influenced by something. He isn’t noted as having a goatee though and it at least sounded like he didn’t look like a guy larping as a super villain. It might have something to do with the influence of the time period or their personalities, or it could just be unrelated. I would be a little surprised if it was specifically only the dice that were causing both these characters to act this way. Maybe it has to do with the “subject / agent / catalyst” scores the Institute was giving out to artifacts earlier in this statement.

The narrator continues to larp and screw people over (with the occasional blessing of good luck) until they “see Gary, sat in a coffee shop just down the road from the fancy uptown flat I was living in (thank you double-six). And he looks normal. Not happy, exactly, but certainly not the miserable shell he'd been when I saw him last. And a vicious little idea comes to me. So, I walk up to him and say hello.” So, the narrator does just that and describes Gary’s face as “Guilt at first sure but then it slides into confusion when he sees the outfit. He starts to stammer out some halfbaked apology when I hold up my hand to stop him. I put on “the voice” and tell my old friend thank you so much for the gift and that I want to pay him back. He knows what's coming then even before I take them out and place them on the table between us.” It’s clear that Gary doesn’t want to roll the dice but grimly does so anyway. Snake eyes. Both the dice land on a 1 and it is the first time the narrator has seen this bad of a roll occur. “Never in all the thousands of times I’d seen them rolled, clattering across someone’s future. Maybe they'd been saving themselves for a special occasion, an honor for an unworthy keeper. Or maybe Gary was just really, really unlucky. Either way, there's this moment of silence as we both stare at the table and the dice stare back.”

As soon as that occurs a truck barrels through the wall of the coffee shop and kills Gary in a quite gruesome fashion. “Apparently the driver was asleep at the wheel. The building is wrecked but somehow nobody else was hurt except for Gary. Just unlucky, I guess.” The narrator staggers away from the scene before the police and ambulance arrive before throwing up. The sight of Gary’s death had been too much so they decided they could no longer keep them. “And that brings us about up to date. They're yours now, and I never want to see them again. Don't get me wrong, it’s a blow but I’m just not the right guy to carry them. Besides I've seen how they treat people who give them away. It's a damn shame, though. Well, maybe just once more. For old time's sake. [Transcription ends due to interruption. Statement giver declared dead by paramedics at scene.]” So it seems like the dice react negatively if you try to get rid of them.

So like always, if I was to try to fit these within the framework of Smirke’s 14 (plus the Extinction). The two Entities that seem the most likely to me at first blush are The Desolation and The Web.

There actually seems to be quite a lot of confusion about The Desolation and what it is, so let’s try to define it first. What The Desolation actually tends to relate to is the fear of loss, usually (but not always) via the destruction or damaging of something. This seems to be very broad and can range anywhere from losing a loved one (which causes The Desolation to overlap with The End a lot since death is a very scary way to lose someone), to the idea of losing something like a home or precious object.

I’ve seen a lot of people argue that The Desolation is “fire” in a similar manner to how The Dark is well… the fear of darkness but I would argue this is a bit of a misconception. The reason why The Desolation likes to manifest as fire is because of the association with pain and destruction. Fire can burn down entire neighborhoods and can continue to spread and consume the things you love, taking them away from you in the process. In fact, it’s not really the fire itself that matters to The Desolation but rather the pain, and destruction. This is why in TMA one of the groups following it is known as the Cult of the Lightless Flame. As said in MAG 89 (Twice as Bright) we get this interaction between Jon and Jude Perry-

JUDE

Oh please, your god is nothing! The Eye, Beholding, Ceaseless Watcher, whatever you call it, that’s all it does, it watches and knows, sitting bulbous and comfortable in the ignorance of infinite knowledge.

I serve a reckoning, a surging tide of destruction and pain.

ARCHIVIST

The Lightless Flame.

JUDE

The Desolation. Blackened Earth. The destructive, agonising heat of burning flesh and land scoured of life. The light, the comfort of fire stripped from it, leaving nothing but the terror of its approach.

The word “desolation” itself is defined as “a state of complete emptiness or destruction.”

So the Desolation isn’t trying to connect itself to fire in its entirety (since that would include light, comfort, warmth, cooking, etc.) but fire specifically in relation to destruction. It’s not guiding you anywhere or shielding you from the night, only burning your house and all you hold dear. It’s also notable that no members of the Cult of the Lightless Flame seem to have the ability to produce fire with their own power. Their bodies are kind of like hot wax and they need an external source to make fire (such as a lighter). The reason for this is because The Desolation mostly just wants them to burn and destroy things. While The Desolation overlaps with The Slaughter a lot, due to violence being a common way to lose someone or something (think violent murders and robberies), The Desolation is ultimately the fear of things like loss and destruction while The Slaughter is the fear of violence. If someone is stealing or smashing your fine glass china collection that is usually The Desolation. If someone is stabbing or shooting you directly that tends to be The Slaughter.

Of course, how does this really prove my point? Well, keeping with the themes of loss there is actually a precedent for The Desolation manifesting as just supernatural bad luck causing you to lose things. In MAG 37 (Burnt Offering) Jason North accidentally disturbs a ritual site that had been set up by The Cult of the Lightless Flame and proceeds to slowly lose the things he cares about 1 by 1 until he kills himself out of fear of losing his son (which seems to work). The point of this specific ritual was not to bring The Desolation into the world but to target Gertrude and potentially undo whatever weird binding thing she did to Agnes. In Jason’s statement we get “I just need to know if you can save my son. I’ve asked and asked and your people only ever tell me to write my statement. Put it down on paper for investigation. Is that going to help? No. Of course it isn’t. Even if you had the power to do something, would you? Or would you rather watch my son burn so you can take notes. I’ve been drinking. You can probably tell from the stains. Well, I don’t plan to apologise for ruining your precious paper, and I don’t plan to stop. Only way to keep the fear from settling in. If I’m scared I’m going to lose Ethan like I lost everything else, then I’ll curl into a ball and never get up. I won’t be able to do anything to stop it. I won’t let my son burn, even if you cowards don’t have the guts to step up and do something.” and “Because from that moment on, everything I love and value has burned or been destroyed. My car overheated on the way back to the Forestry Commission, and I barely got out before the engine caught fire. My house was a smouldering heap of blackened rubble before the end of the week. Electrical failure. I don’t want to talk about what happened to Lucy. I don’t want to think about her face at the end. Now there’s only one thing I have left that I value. That I love. And I cannot lose him. I can’t lose Ethan. I shouldn’t be in this mess. It’s absurd. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just dropped a bottle. That’s all! I don’t deserve this. I don’t.”

So there is a precedent for The Desolation manifesting as bad luck, accidents, disaster, etc. but how does this explain the good luck that the two dice seem to provide. Well, as I’ve mentioned in my previous Quick Thoughts the Entities aren’t objective embodiments of concepts but the fear of those things. The End isn’t a psychopomp or the embodiment of death but rather the fear of death. So while The End keeping people alive might seem counterintuitive, what it is doing is feeding on the fear people have of dying rather than the act of dying in and of itself. The longer someone is alive the more they can fear dying. Sometimes the Entities seem to like giving people “boons” or “protection” so that the people in question can fear losing it until / if it is taken away. Even The Hunt does technically allow you to fight back against things hunting you if you embrace it. Which isn’t that much different than The End protecting a victim from death as long as they act a certain way.

So, I would argue that what we could be seeing is The Desolation giving people stuff so they can fear losing it all the more. If the dice only ever gave bad luck there would be a lot less incentive to actually roll them and if you ended up losing everything you might end up with nothing to lose anyway. Fluctuating between good and bad luck allows The Desolation to profit off the idea of loss and destruction as much as possible. 

Additionally, no matter how the dice are used an Entity like The Desolation still benefits from it. If you pull a Gary and only roll the dice for yourself you will lose things and destruction / damage will ensue which can generate fear. It got so bad that Gary was desperate to give the dice away and he seemed terrified the next time he saw them. If you try to game the system, like our narrator, The Desolation still wins. For one, the narrator’s system isn’t perfect so you can still fear losing things from bad rolls and whenever someone rolls well the narrator viewed them as stealing their good luck (i.e. fearing the loss of their good luck). Secondly, even if it was perfect, the only way to benefit from good luck like that is to pawn the bad luck off on someone else. In such a case you are probably generating a trail of fear as you make other people suffer the worst of the dice’s effects. The Desolation may not be feeding on your fear if you do this but now it’s just feeding on the fears of others while it rewards you for feeding it (which isn’t much different to how Entities treat things like Avatars). Of course, trying to get rid of the dice seems to create even more fear since you will probably just die the second you roll them after intending to give them away.

Luckily, the possibility of The Web doesn’t need as much explanation. While The Web is sometimes assumed to just be the fear of people manipulating you, it seems to be more like the fear of being controlled by something else in general. This is most apparent in The Web’s connection to addictions and manifestations connected to that. It’s the idea that you are no longer in control and are now being controlled by something else (the addiction itself). So you could argue The Web here due to the connection to addiction via the form of a gambling addiction.

You could also argue The End because trying to give away the dice seems to kill the person trying to do so. Additionally, The End has manifested as game pieces before in MAG 29 (Cheating Death) in the form of “a chess knight, a domino and a pair of dice, each scrimshawed out of old bone.” I don’t think the dice mentioned in MAG 29 are the same ones we are seeing in this TMP statement since they aren’t made of bone and they have vastly different effects and purposes. I would say that some of the other Entities kill people a lot for the sake of fear, especially ones like The Desolation, so it’s a bit tough since you can’t always just point to every instance of a character dying and say “IT’S THE END” in the same way not every statement taking place at night is related to The Dark. I would probably be much more inclined to argue The Web or Desolation here instead of The End.

Considering that the narrator dies at the end of the statement, I’m inclined to believe that the viabilities relating to subject, agent, and catalyst probably refer to the dice themselves. But this doesn’t really make what these attributes are referring to any clearer.

Subject has a lot of definitions and can mean “a person or thing that is being discussed, described, or dealt with”, “likely or prone to be affected by (a particular condition or occurrence, typically an unwelcome or unpleasant one)”, “dependent or conditional upon”, “conditionally upon,” and “cause or force to undergo (a particular experience of form of treatment)” So in this case the subject in question might not be in reference to a test subject but something that can be controlled or influenced by people or some other factor. This factor could simply be the kind of person using them, but it could also refer to something like Smirkean-esque architecture effects. In TMA certain architecture could actually influence how specific artifacts behaved and some would even become more or less stable. This is most notable with leitners and in MAG 80 (Librarian) Leitner says “An unexpurgated copy of Ruskin’s The Seven Lamps of Architecture, published in 1845. Of course, Ruskin didn’t even begin writing the book until 1846, and the text of this one varies markedly from the version that was distributed. It gives an acute sense of the walls pressing in around you, and if consumed recklessly, will physically entomb the reader. Over the years, I have found that it interacts with Smirke’s architecture, and those tunnels specifically, in a more predictable way. By carefully reading specific passages in certain locations, I am able to exercise… a degree of control over the substance of the tunnels.” Like I mentioned last time, I don’t know if Smirke’s architecture specifically is present in TMP in the same way it was in TMA, and it could be some other environment, architectural, or landmark related effect. So the low subject score could be due to the fact that the dice don’t really react to any outside factors. Rolling them a certain way or in certain areas doesn’t make you more or less likely to get lucky rolls for example.

An agent can actually mean a lot of things and can also refer to “a person or thing that takes an active role or produces a specified effect.” So maybe agent in this case refers to how consistent or predictable the dice are in their effect and what the effect actually is. Easier to control or predict artifacts might have higher scores in relation to viability as an agent.

Catalyst is a word that can mean “a person or thing that precipitates an event.” The problem here is that what this could be referring to is even more vague. Is it referring to the ability for the dice to cause specific events like bad / good luck or is it meant to act as a catalyst for say a ritual, monster, or ceremony? If you were to assume catalyst just means the artifact is causing some sort of event then it could just refer to the severity or how big events related to the dice are. The narrator notes that sometimes the luck takes the form of small things and other times really big things in one’s life, which could explain why the catalyst score averages out to a medium. In essence the dice might have really high highs and really low lows which evens out at a medium score.

These measurements would also imply that the Institute might have experimented on people, which is something we know the TMA Institute actually did too. In MAG 39 (Infestation) Sasha says “Did I ever tell you I first joined the Institute as a practical researcher? I had to analyse and investigate all the stuff in here. Take notes after sleeping in the rusted chair, write in the memory book, all that sort of thing. I transferred after three months. Would’ve quit, but couldn’t afford to back then.” and Jon says “Of course, I believe. Of course I do. Have you ever taken a look at the stuff we have in Artefact Storage? That’s enough to convince anyone. But, but even before that… Why do you think I started working here? It’s not exactly glamorous. I have… I’ve always believed in the supernatural. Within reason. I mean. I still think most of the statements down here aren’t real. Of the hundreds I’ve recorded, we’ve had maybe… thirty, forty that are… that go on tape. Now, those, I believe, at least for the most part.” I also wouldn’t put it past the Institute to sacrifice people in the name of accruing knowledge. Not only does this fit into some of the themes of The Eye but it also has a precedent in TMA with the Institute and other people like Leitner in his library having sacrificed people to better understand artifacts. Sacrificing people to study artifacts isn’t a new topic in TMA.

We cut to Gwen and Lena in the manager’s office via landline, and Gwen gets her first task as an Externals Liaison- “You are to visit a man by the name of “Nigel Dickerson” and hand him this envelope which contains a name and address. Take note of anything he says or does in response, especially his stress levels and emotional state, as well of those of any companions.” The fact that Gwen is supposed to take notes like this reminds me of The Eye and the whole idea of “drinking in” the fear of others via being the witness to their suffering. It could also be the idea of “seeing too much” or something more akin to a statement. Now that I think about it, Gwen is delivering a name and address? Doxxing people or sending information is very Eye and it could point to Lena trying to scare Nigel on purpose but there’s no telling if this is what it’s about. It could be that the name and address represent a meeting place or something similar. Maybe even a target?

Gwen expresses confusion and says “Nigel Dickerson. As in the Nigel Dickerson? From tv?” to which Lena seems unfamiliar. “You must know him. He was huge in the 90s. Saturdays on Six? Mr Bonzo? The Prank Tank?”

We then get this interaction

GWEN 

“And why not just email him?”

LENA 

“Because I have found over the years that anything less than the personal touch in these situations often leads to… misunderstandings. Besides, I thought it might be informative for our new Externals Liaison. “

GWEN 

“Is all this… theatricality really necessary?”

LENA 

“I can assure you it is. Consider it an audition if you like. And try”

In TMA, Jon seemed to gain more power and strength when he took live statements from people as opposed to recorded ones, so we know that while The Eye does deal in records a lot it seems to love its statements and observations of fear fresh when possible. The “theatricality” might be necessary if the point is to scare someone but I’m not 100% sure. Either way, Gwen is probably in for more than she bargained for.

We cut to Teddy and Alice at the pub via Alice’s phone. It seems like Teddy’s new job hasn’t worked out since “They actually started plans to downsize the day before my interview and it turned out their hiring department didn’t get the memo.” Alice says Teddy didn’t deserve that and Teddy responds with “Yeah well, since when does anyone get what they deserve eh?” which is interesting considering the last statement. I don’t think it was Teddy that gave the statement, but the whole idea about the dice giving good luck and bad luck but still having some sort of “balance” is an interesting parallel to Teddy’s sentiment. Especially, since the narrator tried to keep all the good rolls for themselves while sticking everyone else with the bad rolls.

Teddy still seems like he doesn’t want to go back to the OIAR as he says “You hear me asking for a job? I only just got out, I’m staying well-shot of that creepshow.” The transcripts also clarify that Alice is relieved that Teddy isn’t asking for his old job back. Alice goes on to say “It’s all right. You met Sam obviously and then we had Celia join on top of that so we’re all staffed up for a change which is… nice.” implying that it’s not super common for the OIAR to be fully staffed. Alice saying “(unconvincingly) Ok, first, I was being super ironic, and second it is “nice”. We’re more or less on top of the case-load and Sam and Celia get along great.” would imply that part of the reason she and Gwen often seem behind on work to an extent is due to the OIAR being understaffed.

Sam arrives just as Teddy leaves for another interview and Sam does make small talk with Alice; it becomes clear that he’s here to ask Alice to investigate the ruins of the Institute with him. Sam asks Alice to join him instead of Celia because while she did come to investigate Gerry and Gertrude he doesn’t feel like he’s close enough to her to be asking her to investigate shady ruins. Sam also mentions “Listen, I know that you said I shouldn’t pay too much attention to the cases and that, but I genuinely think there might have been something really weird going on at the Magnus Institute and then there was this new case that came up and-” which makes me suspect again that not all the statements the computers spit out are randomly chosen. I also wonder if Alice had a similar experience with oddly specific statements or if she just finds them horrific to listen to (which is fair if that’s the case).

Conclusion

I’m curious about what the Institute was measuring for in this universe. Is the “Magnus Protocol” the government working directly with the Institute at some point to make something or was it something made in response to something that happened to or within the Institute? For example, maybe an Institute test / experiment got out of control and led to the Institute’s destruction? That doesn’t seem super likely at the moment but it’s an idea.

[blowflyfag]

WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE: January 2003

SUPERFREAK

Brace Yourselves: Big Poppa Pump and the Largest Arms in the World are Here

By Mike Fazioli

Go ahead and holla. It’s impossible not to hear Big Poppa Pump.

Scott Steiner, one of the most-anticipated signings in WWE history, boasts one of the most impressive resumes in sports-entertainment, with a record of dominance dating back to his days as an All-American amateur at the University of Michigan. The Steiner Brothers, Scott and Rick, were one of the greatest tag teams in history, with title reigns in WWE (twice in 1993) and the old WCW (six times), as well as two turns as IWGP International tag champs in Japan (1991, 1992).

Steiner’s first singles title came in WCW when he won the Television Championship in 1992. But his true singles dominance came to the fore after he shocked the world by turning against his brother Rick and joining the New World Order (nWo) in 1998. Calling himself Big Poppa Pump, Steiner won the WCW United States Championship in 1998, and fulfilled his long quest to become a singles World Champion on November 26, 2000, when he beat Booker T for the WCW World Championship. 

When WCW invaded WWE in 2001, most experts predicted that Big Poppa Pump would be at the vanguard of the invasion. But Steiner, whose loyalty to WCW ended once and for all when he joined the nWo, decided to bide his time instead. He would come to WWE when he decided the time was right now. That time is now. 

In addition to his incredible history of success, Big Poppa Pump possesses possibly the most impressive physique in the history of the business. He claims to have the largest arms in the world–a claim that has yet to be refuted. He still has the technical skills and knowledge that made him one of the nation’s premier college wrestlers, and he now augments that with what can only be described as superhuman strength and power. Add to that the fact that Big Poppa Pump is one of the most volatile and unpredictable men in the business today, and it’s easy to see why he was so coveted by both Raw and SmackDown!

WWE Magazine caught up with the one and only Big Poppa Pump recently, and the interview was everything one could expect from the “Genetic Freak”--wild, unpredictable and mesmerizing. There is no nonsense to Big Poppa Pump. He is extraordinarily blunt when he speaks about his ring skills, as well as his popularity with the “freaks”--his innumerable female admirers the world over. He may also very well be the future of WWE because, as he succinctly puts it, how can anyone be expected to hold their own against a genetic freak?

WWE Magazine: What have you been up to since the fans last saw you? What took you so long to get here?

Scott Steiner: I’ve been doing what I always do–working out, hanging with my freaks worldwide and having a good time. It was just a question of timing. When I wanted to come here, I came here. When they had WCW vs. WWE and the invasion, I never considered myself a WCW guy. I was a nWo. When I was in the nWo and I said WCW sucks, I meant it. That wasn’t something I wanted to be part of. 

WWE: There are probably some WWE fans who aren’t familiar with Big Poppa Pump. What can they expect from you?

Steiner: Anyone who’s not familiar with Big Poppa Pump has been living under a rock or in a cave. They can expect everything I’ve been doing before–being completely out of control. That’s what I do best. When I come to the arena, anything can happen. 

WWE: Some guys new to  WWE will come in and say they’re just looking forward to being part of the team and doing their best to fit in. But that doesn’t fit Big Poppa Pump’s personality. Are you looking to come in and make a huge, immediate impact?

Steiner: Of course. I'm here to make an impact. I’m a genetic freak. I’m the man with the largest arms in the world. Why wouldn’t I make an impact? As far as being part of any team. I’m my own man.

WWE: You were a WWE Tag Team Champion years ago with your brother Rick, and you competed on the first-ever Raw. How would you best describe how much you’ve changed in the eight years since you were last in WWE?

Steiner: I’ve changed a lot. When I was Tag Team Champions with my brother, I was just out of the University of Michigan for a couple of years. I was still naive to the real world. Things have changed. I’ve stopped looking through rose-colored glasses. The world is not the perfect place your parents make it out to be. People in this world suck. That’s the attitude I started to take. I evolved, and that’s what came up. That’s who I am. I’m not a nice college boy anymore. I've seen the world and come to the realization of what’s really out there. I started speaking my mind and haven’t stopped. 

WWE: When you look at the Raw roster, whose asses are you most looking forward to kicking? There are a lot of candidates.

Steiner: Yeah, there are a lot of candidates. You always have to look at who’s the champion. A lot of people–an average Joe Blow like you–might not be able to comprehend this statement, but when I wrestle Triple H, I’m going to make it look easy. I’m going to do it with style. There was a guy down in WCW who shaved his head and kept on saying, “Who’s next? Who’s next?” Well, when it was my time to be “next,” I took all his power moves and beat him. 

Power guys–the guys who rely on strength–play right into my hands. How are you going to rely on strength when you’re up against someone who possesses the power that I do? They do their best stuff, realize it’s not  good enough, and they’re putty in my hands. I love wrestling power guys. You cannot match power with a genetic freak. I have the largest arms in the world. I’m a genetic freak! How are you going to match power with me?

WWE: In addition to your power, you were also an All-American amateur wrestler at Michigan. Combine that with your superhuman  power and your natural aggression–is there anyone in WWE who can hang with Big Poppa Pump?

Steiner: It’s hard to hang with Big Poppa Pump. Let’s just put it that way.

WWE: Is there anyone here from the WCW days who you have unfinished business with?

Steiner: I don’t put people in categories like WWE or WCW. I don’t look at the names or the faces.

Steiner: I’ve been beating up people my whole life. I use up more energy at night with my freaks than I do beating people up. The in-the-ring stuff is easy compared to hanging with my freaks. They don’t call me the Big Bad Booty Daddy for nothing.

WWE: What’s your opinion of working for Eric Bischoff again?

Steiner: I never had a problem with Eric. He knew enough to stay out of my way. He didn’t try to hold back the reins. I just went in there and did what I had to do. I never had a problem with him. 

WWE: Are you worried about any limitations your body may put on you?

Steiner: Injuries are a part of the sport, you know. As you can see, I still look great. I’ve overcome the injuries. I’m still here, still on top, and there are no limitations. Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I’ve had my share of injuries and overcome them. They’ve made me work harder, and I’m better because of it.

WWE: Some have called you volatile or unstable. How do you respond to that?

Steiner: I am. So what? That’s my nature. I never took any [crap] from anybody. Why should I? I wouldn’t say I'm unstable. I was born with a wild hair up my ass, and I've never had any reason to try to take it out. I like living my life the way it is–wild. Until I'm dead or in jail, that’s how I'm going to live; balls to the wall. In the ring, outside the ring–balls to the wall, always.

WWE: How hard do you have to work to get in that kind of shape? How much of it is just being a genetic freak?

Steiner: A lot of it is being a genetic freak and a lot of it is hard work. As you can see, someone like me only comes along once in a lifetime. I’m like lightning in a bottle. It’s rare. My time will come and my time will go, but like I said, people like me only come along once in a lifetime.

You tell me–who looks better than me? Who has ever looked better than me in this business? Who else looks like me and has my wrestling ability? You go ask my freaks how good I am. That’s the bottom line. You can only fight and wrestle for so long, but until the day you die you can reach the summit, reach the top of the mountain with your freaks. It’s Nirvana, man. Nothing’s better than being with a set of long legs.

WWE: Is there anyone Big Poppa Pump looks to for inspiration?

Steiner: Are you [freakin’] kidding me?

WWE: What would winning the World Heavyweight Championship mean to you?

Steiner: It would be nothing if I were wrestling Joe Blow. It all depends on who I’ll be wrestling for the championship. If it’s against Triple H, The Rock, Brock Lesnar or someone people see as a legend or a true talent, and I can kick their ass, then it's an accomplishment. But just being called a World Heavyweight Champion without having beaten anyone for the title wouldn’t mean [crap] to me.

WWE: There are a number of hot Divas in WWE, and you’re famous for being a ladies’ man. Have you taken a look at WWE’s collection of freaks? What do you think?

Steiner: Yeah, there are a lot of hot ladies here. Big Poppa Pump is like a chameleon. It doesn’t matter what nationality you are, or if you’re a blonde, brunette or redhead. It doesn’t really matter. The one thing about Women is, you take them to Nirvana, and they’ll never stop calling you. It’s always the same. If you treat them right, they’re yours for life.

WWE: What message do you have for all your freaks out there who may be reading this?

Steiner: Big Poppa Pump, the Big Bad Booty Daddy, is back in circulation. Holla if you hear me!

[thedrunkenreadersreviews]

A Quick List of My Best Rereads of 2023

Ah, I remember when I was but a new reader, exploring all the worlds of books and telling myself, "I'm not going to reread books. That is a waste of time. Time I could spend exploring other realms."

Foolish was I.

(Sip, sip)

Happy winter solstice, my friends, a fitting holiday for this list as one book is what changed my whole opinion on the entire "rereading" thing. To celebrate, let's have some nice Apothic Red Wine and briefly talk about my favorite rereads of 2023. My favorite reads of 2023 will be posted on either NYE or NYD.

(Sip, sip)

Well, let's get to it!

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson

(Sip, sip)

I picked this book up after the announcement for The Mysteries of Thorn Manor, wanting to refresh myself on this incredible world and the characters. I enjoyed everything about this book essentially: the magic system, the characters, the world-building, and---something unique for YA books in my case, especially standalones---I felt the stakes. The dynamics between the characters were fantastic, nothing felt rushed or forced.

It has become a comfort read of mine, as well as The Mysteries of Thorn Manor. There is also the incredible level of creepiness, especially with Nathaniel's nightmares and him projecting those nightmares; that I devoured and always wanted more. Even though The Mysteries of Thorn Manor is a novella, it still delivers heavily on the darkness of Nathaniel's nightmares, which grew more intense following the whole Silas affair. Both novel and novella are exceptional and I will recommend these books any chance I get.

(Sip, sip)

Between by L.L. Starling

I have an entire post dedicated to this book. It is adorable, cozy, funny, heartbreaking, fantastic! The magic is interesting, the characters are treasures, the humor is actually enjoyable, and the plot is engaging. I have scribbled all over the chonk of this book with thoughts, predictions, things I think will be of importance later. I have never done that with a book before.

This book also holds a very special place in my heart as it was the last book I read to my dearly departed cat (yes, he'd snuggle up close and listen to me read, purring in delight, and even hold my page open) before having to watch him cross the rainbow bridge.

Still, I reread it every year as not only does it bring back fond memories, but is also an enjoyable read. It is by an indie author but do not let that dissuade you. It is everything!

(Sip, sip. Pours one out for my baby. Refills. Sip, sip)

Dark Harvest by Norman Patridge

My goodness is the book small but it is written like poetry! Such a silly, creepy idea and yet, I don't know how Norman Patridge did it, but he made it all weave together so effortlessly. You feel embraced by the story, immersed in the culture, like you are a part of it. Lived. in it.

And the October Boy character, ole Saw Toothed Jack, damn is his story and POV one for the ages! What an amazing character! His thoughts, his actions, the mission he is on is such a harrowing journey that I so thoroughly enjoyed reading and it always gives me those sweet, spooky Halloween vibes.

The movie was good, but the book is outstanding! Read it, folks! As is usually the case, the book is a thousand times better!

(Sip, sip)

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

Believe it or not my The Folk of the Air lovers, but Severin, that background character that Jude approaches for help in The Cruel Prince and later requests the sword from in The Queen of Nothing, well, he has his own novel. And he is pretty fucking awesome and he was my first faerie love before Cardan came into the picture.

Severin's story is what made me fall in love with Black's Faerieland. The Darkest Part of the Forest reads like a true fairytale and feels so incredibly cozy and whimsical. And the characters are all so precious, even one of the "villains."

Oh, and "scheming great schemes," yeah, that actually came from this book. So, if you love Cardan, Jude, and the rest of the High Court, you must read The Darkest Part of the Forest. In simple words, it is enchanting.

And it was the first time I teared up during a love confession (Severin, you softy 🥺).

Also, no character is sacrificed in power to favor another, which is what I see a lot of YA authors in fantasy do, specifically to favor the female character. What I mean is, that they will write the male character as faltering in some magical way and then have the female character pick things up and save the day. Holly Black doesn't do that. She doesn't take power away and redistribute it to her female characters. She makes them powerful in their own ways. For example, Cardan is more magically inclined than Jude because he is a full-blooded faerie, of Mab's bloodline, and the High King, while Jude is a far superior swordsman because she was trained vigorously at it by a redcap while Cardan was not. They complement each other, and neither is considered weaker than the other. They both have their strength.

It is the same in this book. Never is Severin's power as a faerie lessened for the sake of building Hazel up, and in the final confrontation, it makes sense for it to play out as it did given the circumstances.

Overall, The Darkest Part of the Forest is tremendous! Give it a read if you haven't. It certainly complements The Folk of the Air trilogy.

(Raises glass)

To you, Alderking Severin, my first and always faerie crush. 💕

(Sip, sip)

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison

This book ... oh, this book ... I will never get over it. I had mentioned previously that I do not often cry when reading books, and that is true.

This one had me tearing up constantly and yes, even the waters flowed at a certain point. But why?

Some of those tears were sorrow.

Others were joy.

The story of Maia is the most inspiring one I have ever read in any book. Ever. Maia, a goblin in an elf-supremacy world, finds himself suddenly the emperor, as the title implies. And that's it. That is the story. Maia is attempting to navigate through this tremendous obstacle; meeting friends, making enemies (though through nothing that he did beyond just being a goblin), and trying to make as many people as possible happy while questioning and discovering his own emotions towards his family and himself.

Maia is a character blessed with unconditional kindness and empathy. He is a person just trying to make the best out of a most impossible situation. The world-building is exceptional, the writing is superb, and Maia is a character that will touch your heart no matter how stone it is.

There are spinoff novels to this book but, truthfully, this one alone is all you need. It has everything a fantasy book should have minus some grand quest. There is none. It is just about Maia finding the emperor buried beneath years of trauma and prejudice. But even with all the hate, Maia and his friends are a beacon of so much hope.

20/10, one of my favorite books of all time and quite possibly my favorite standalone novel ever written.

(Sip, sip)

Last but certainly not least as we bring in the winter solstice, I bow before my High King and High Queen, and raise a toast to the faerie I love most and my beloved mortal warrior.

The Folk of the Air by Holly Black.

I have come to understand the purpose of rereading books you love because of this series. Granted, when The Cruel Prince came out I originally thought I was not going to be interested in it. But Amazon was persistent, always having it appear as a suggestion whenever I opened up that damn website. And I caved one day, figured I could always return it or donate it.

(Sip, sip)

Now I have nine versions of the damn thing (mutters from rim of wineglass: no, I don't have a problem).

(Sip, sip)

Every time I reread this trilogy, I am reminded of why I fell in love with Cardan, why I aspired to be like Jude and related to her so much, why I adore fantasy, what incredible writing sounds like, and what a faerie book has the potential to be. Cardan is not some thousand-year-old, super intelligent, militaristically inclined, muscular faerie king.

He is a moody, noodly, seventeen-year-old teenager who is ticked that he has a crush on the weird girl and doesn't want any responsibilities whatsoever. It. Is. Genius!

There are always new secrets I'm discovering in the trilogy; the lies within the truth, the truth within the lies, character quirks, hidden jests, and foreshadowing small details.

I had heard that for mortals the feeling of falling in love is much like fear.

Jude, are you afraid of me?

Like, come on! Ugh!

Every year since I purchased The Cruel Prince I have reread this series. And I will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

(Sip, sip)

So those are my favorite rereads of 2023. My favorite reads will be posted soon, as will be my most disappointing. But, cheers to you, dear readers!

May your Christmas (if you celebrate it) be merry and bright! May your New Year (if you celebrate it) be inspiring and magical, and may the coming days bring you bliss.

Thank you for sharing a drink with me and reading my silly opinions. It means the world to me.

Happy holidays, friends!

Cheers!

(Sip, sip)

[kurumeki]

This will be long and personal, so you can feel free to scroll past it.

Good things of 2023:

Grandmother’s 80th birthday; we had a celebration in a restaurant with family and her friends. Almost 50 people!

Morrie’s live stream Flesh Odyssey at his birthday (4th March)

My best friend @vinidra visited in March and I remember getting wasted and listening to Black Sabbath and Def Leppard till 3am. And watching that one 1989 Aerosmith live! Wasn’t there Dir en grey stream on GALACAA? I think we got access from a friend and watched that too.

On April 1st Morrie’s fan club Reveries opened on BitFan application – with foreign fans finally being able to join. It is a pricey affair, but the consistency and amount of content he brings every single day is so worth it. I love being a Reverie and having near direct contact with Morrie and the fans. So grateful for this community.

Right after Easter, on April 12th, we got BUCK-TICK’s new album. No one would predict it would be the last release before Sakurai passing away… It’s a solid record and ワルキューレの騎行 will forever be one of my favourite songs.

April was such a good month for me – on 18th I got the news I got promoted to a team leader. So, following a big raise for 2022 performance, I got another big raise with role change. Feeling like I’m finally getting the money I deserve for my hard work. The role is difficult and very challenging, but also satisfying and I enjoy what I do. It helped me a lot with improving my communication skills, standing up for myself and feeling confident with my decisions.

End of April was my friend Karin visiting, we went to Metallica symphonic concert in philharmonic and had amazing time overall during the long May weekend.

In May I came out to my co-workers and I was met with so much support I’m still overwhelmed. Being able to feel like I can be 100% myself at work is amazing. You don’t realise you need it until you get this freedom.

May 23rd was Boris live in Warsaw. I reconnected with an old friend and had amazing time with him during the gig. The show itself was everything I ever wanted from Boris – perfectly heavy and fast. Being front row surely contributed to that. My mission was to wait for the band after the show and talk to Atsuo and I succeeded! Got a picture with the band ant all. All possible thanks to a mutual friend of the band and mine.

May 31st – Def Leppard and Motley Crue in Krakow! Again hanging out with @vinidra and his friend. The show… let’s say Motley Crue was meh, though visual and female dancers were incredible. But Def Leppard was there to save the night, it was incredible and I had so so so much fun! Can’t wait to see them again live.

In June I visited Karin in Krynica Morska. It’s a very thin piece of land with sea at one side and huge lake on the other. I loved the beach walks there and hearing the waves at night, when falling asleep.

Also in June my close friend had a major surgery. So brave of her to decide to undergo it and I’m even more happy that she’s made steady recovery, now having no regrets.

June 20th was the day Josh Kiszka of Greta Van Fleet came out! I’m always happy learning that musicians I love are just as queer as me.

And by end of June DEAD END has re-issued all four albums from 80s: DEAD LINE, Ghost Of Romance, shambara and ZERO. Got them all, in true collector spirit.

July 21st Greta Van Fleet released a new album. I wasn’t stoked about it at first but of course – the more I listened to it, the more I fell in love with it. It’s probably my favourite album of the year.

I didn’t do anything special for my birthday on August 12th, but the following week I was flying to Cologne for a week to stay with my best friend. We did a lot of furniture and home decor shopping for the new house she moved into. We went to cinema to see Metallica’s live stream, and otherwise just had good time being lazy. Oh! And I helped her pick out and buy her first guitar. Love the visit in huge 4-story music shop in Cologne.

In September I’ve volunteered to take dogs from a shelter for walks for a day. I want to do it again.

On September 27th Morrie released another solo album Solitudes I. I feel like I didn’t listen to it enough this year, but this is miles better than Ballad D to me.

October 15th was election day in Poland and this was incredible – how many people showed up. For the first time I had to stand in the queue to vote. And we won. Fascist right wing government was overthrown. I have some home things will finally get better in my country.

Fast forward to November 5th – after a lot of trouble I made it to Hamburg and met with a friend I’ve know for years, but never had a chance to see in person. Had amazing time! It’s incredible to have such dedicated Morrie fan so close and be able to talk about music for couple of hours without feeling tired.

November 6th – I also finally met my close friend, we’ve never seen each other before. She’s such a lovely human being. She introduced me to Greta Van Fleet, so it felt only right to gift her a ticket to their show. The live was amazing, the most beautiful show I’ve ever been to. I will never get over how talented those young guys are.

From Nov 7th to 11th I was staying with my friend in Bielefeld. Met her cutest Siamese cat Bibi!

And last thing worth mentioning – I got the courage to go to company winter party and I actually had fun. I don’t remember when was the last time I simply wanted to have fun and when was the last time I danced. My whole body hurt after that night, but I really loved it. Oh, and I stole the neon flamingo lamp. Worth it.

[entering--hyperspace]

Empágos rambles:

First impressions and the moment they realized they were dancing towards something deeper

2. First impressions of each other and how that changed

It's funny because the Dream Visitor disguise made Págos even more distrustful of The Emperor than his actual apperance as a mindflayer would have. Págos is incredibly insightful (proficiency), he knows manipulation, deceit, he knows someone trying to curry favor for their own agenda. He was a soldier, he was taught to do the same thing, of course he would know. So he treated this stranger, someone who appealed too much to his own taste, with none of the true experience to back up the apperance of a grizzled veteran, not to its fullest. So their interactions felt like tip toeing on ice as ive described it before, but there would be moments where the mask would slip, either the emperor would get too fustrated, or he would accidentally let his guard down to whatever he was struggling with. /That/ is what págos would push towards trying to see, and its what kept him from being too antagonistic. 

Meanwhile, The Emperor only saw what Págos vaguely remembered, which already created a bit of a fustrating dilemma. Even moreso when Págos showed he could match every move me made with his own, it made winning him over hard, and it was personally infuriating dealing with someone who shouldnt be able to see past what he was trying to do but Could. Eventually I think this grew into begrudging Admiration, and the games of them poking each other for more information became somewhat pleasant in a way, a chess match with an equal opponent. Overtime, Págos became less of an ally out of necessity, but an ally because he Wanted him to be. He had grown attached to their debates and mind games, he had grown comfortable in the recesses of Págos' mind. Following his actions, delving into his mind as if it were a banquet to pick and choose from, which págos allowed willingly.

3. When did they first "fall" for each other

 I did talk about this on twitter a lot before, but Essentially, for The Emperor he had to go through this entire process of figuring out what exactly he wanted this allyship with págos to be. Págos is different from his previous allies in a way that almost seemed too good to be true. Just as long as he kept the mask up itd work, which was only partially correct. The moment he realized he was fond of him was the moment he realized he could lose him. The fear, the anger of the mask being ripped off and the possibility of death swirling around. This entire time he was puppeteering from the shadows with the upperhand but now he was bloodied and beaten and laying before him. It was scary, págos held his and everyones life in his hands at that moment and yet his expression was stone, his mind was silent, he could not predict what he would say or do. He did not want to lose what he had gained, he was Desperate not to. And then, an offered hand, and the relief that came with it. When págos told him he trusted him more as a mindflayer now than he would have had he kept disguises up it was a new chapter for him and whatever a partnership with págos would entail.

For Págos, it was the talk on the bench in the astral prism, when the emperor's mind wandered into letting him in. It was one of the first conversations they had where there wasnt any disguises in place. The conversation lasted a lot longer in my canon, with págos kind of talking to him about why he doesnt have any particular prejudice against mindflayers and how he sees the world. Even kind of confiding in how he feels different than his companions and finds more comfort in the way the emperor also interprets things. While The Emperor talks about his own experience with his transformation, and how even though hes feeling grief its not an unwelcome emotion bc at least he still Feels something. They end up bonding a lot over the shared feeling of disconnect, and all of their previous conversations are given new light now that identities were revealed, making págos more interested in who he is Himself and their dynamic.

[skylarstark4826]

The war hit everyone differently. Pansy included. At the last moment, she'd turned sides and saved Ron Weasley from an unexpected death. Upon finding this out, her family promptly disowned her. After all, a pureblood shouldn't be lowering herself to the standard of the Weasleys, even if it meant saving a life.

That was why Molly Weasley kindly accepted Pansy into her family's fold. Losing Fred has opened a gaping hole in her heart that no one could have predicted. By taking in Pansy, she could fill that hole by caring for someone who needed it. Pansy was ever so thankful, if slightly uncomfortable, after having been taught to hate the witch basically from birth.

It didn't take long for her to relax in her new life. Currently, Pansy was sitting at the breakfast table with Ron and Harry. Molly made them all eggs and toast before going outside to do some weeding in the garden. Harry was writing in a journal, and Ron was attempting to shine his broom. Pansy, however, was trying to figure out exactly how to tell Ron that her feelings for him had changed.

"Are you and Ginny going out tonight, or do you want to play a round of Quidditch after dinner?" Ron asked Harry, who looked up from his writing.

"I think we're going out, but I'm sure she'd much rather play Quidditch," Harry replied, causing Ron to laugh.

"Too right."

It'd been like this for months now. Pansy would sit nearly silent with Ron, and whoever else was in the room at the time. She'd say a few words here and there, but it was never enough. Over her time at the Burrow, she'd come to see Ron for who he was. He was loving and funny. Really funny. He made her crack a smile more than anyone ever had before. Pansy knew he had no idea of his smile's effect on her.

Even now, when she'd chuckled, he'd smiled warmly at her before returning to his broom. It made her stomach flutter and her heart race. She was falling for him more and more every single day. Since she saved his life and learned what genuine kindness could be, Pansy knew that Ron would be in her heart forever.

"I can't pretend anymore," Pansy finally managed to say aloud. Her hands were clenched in her lap as she waited for a response. She wanted to squeeze her eyes shut and disappear, but that wasn't going to happen.

"What?" Ron asked, lifting his head from his task. "What are you talking about?"

"This." Pansy gestured between them. "There's something here that I never expected."

Quietly, Harry got up from the table and slipped from the room unseen.

Ron set aside his broom to give Pansy his full attention, an act that only made her like him even more. She swallowed and tried to articulate her words more carefully. "I can't pretend I'm not falling for you, Ron. I know that seems incredibly out of character for me after everything from our past, but it's true." She'd rushed to say the last bit and felt her cheeks flame with embarrassment.

When Ron got up from the table, Pansy thought he would walk out, but he surprised her. Walking around the table, he crouched down and took her clenched hands. Then, unfurling her sweaty fingers, he intertwined his with them. Pansy watched with fascination and wonderment as he did so, hope spreading through her like fiendfyre.

"I've been wondering why you spent so much time with me," he said, his blue eyes alight. "I was hoping that it meant you liked me. Instead, George kept saying you were planning my demise."

Pansy laughed, relief making her feel high. "I saved you. Why would I want to end you?"

"That's what I told him," Ron said, chuckling. "Anyway, he told me not to get my hopes up. Since you saved me and came to live with us, I've fallen for you, Pansy. It's been hard to pretend that nothing was happening between us."

"So, no more pretending?" Pansy asked, her heart practically stopping as she eagerly awaited an answer.

"No more pretending." he agreed, smiling warmly.

Then Ron kissed Pansy, and all that was wrong with the world suddenly melted away.

[cunty-mystic]

This past week ive been using my moonology oracle deck for daily guidance and yallllllllllll they have not only been so helpful but incredibly accurate. Usually when im doing guidance for myself there is some bias sometimes that gets in the way of the true message thats trying to be communicated. Using oracle cards helps since it consists of more definite & direct messages than tarot. Since using them every morning it has not only predicted the things I am to deal with during my day but also whats the best way for me to deal with any challenges that may arise.

For example, recently Ive been anxious and confused about a certain old connection that had reentered my life a couple weeks ago. Today for guidance i received the full moon in eclipse, full moon, and new moon in Pisces cards. These cards essentially represent heightened emotions, conclusions, letting go, forgiving, and new beginnings. I had absolutely no contact with my old connection today, but I was missing them terribly and had woken up feeling it heavily. As i rode the emotional waves throughout my day I began to understand the message my emotions were giving me. I began to realize that although I have a lot of desire for this old connection, they are still not the person I need them to be in order for us to have a meaningful connection. I have no hard feelings towards them, but I know what I really want. Yes, in theory if they were emotionally available they’d be perfect, but thats not who they are right now. They are still the same person that had walked out on me last summer. They are not showing up as someone who I can have something real with. Its a sad truth to accept, but it is the truth nonetheless.

Despite the difficulty, I know what kind of relationships i thrive in and which ones i dont. I know what I want and what I deserve. Its sad that after all this time they came back relatively the same and only after I had made peace with the fact id never even hear from them again. At first, i thought it was fate. That maybe they came back to me because they were truly meant for me. But now I realize they came back to remind me that i am not that young desperate girl anymore wanting love from a man who is unwilling to give it to me (mostly because they cant even give it to themselves). Im not the girl who sticks around hoping everyday is the day they open their heart and love me when ive been ready since yesterday. I dont need to wait and i definitely dont need to beg someone to love me correctly if they are truly ready for someone like me.

Its been hard but im so grateful for my growth and how grounded ive become in self love. I’d hate to repeat a cycle where im waiting on a man to come correct when it should’ve been that way from the jump. I’m even more grateful for the guidance i have been receiving as Ive been navigating this situation.

[therealdisneyfan2319]

Intimacy | Wanda Maximoff

A Stripper MILF Wanda Cinematic Universe Story

Summary: After a stressful day at work, Wanda wants you to help her forget it

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Male Reader

Warnings: Smut (Minors DNI), dom/sub dynamics, degradation kink, face slapping, restraints, forced orgasms, spanking, blood, language

Word Count: 3K

Masterlist

A/N: I'd love to do this to Wanda

Wanda slammed the car door so hard you could feel it in the kitchen.  You looked up from your potato, glancing at the unopened door you feared would soon be kicked open before being slammed shut.  It was the sign that something was wrong.  What that was you couldn’t be sure.  Most likely it was related to her day at the club, probably a creep who felt that Wanda’s act gave him permission to feel her up or proposition her for a good time out back.  Regardless of what happened, you would do what you always did whenever your girlfriend came home frustrated: give her a hug, draw her a bubble bath, and pour her the big glass of wine while she sat on the couch watching whatever sitcom she could click on first.

The door kicked open and slammed shut just as you predicted.  Wanda’s grumblings and mutterings were intelligible from your spot in the kitchen, but you heard her backpack thud as she dropped it to the ground.  The slap of her bare feet storming toward the kitchen made you only momentarily consider hiding your knife.

“You.  Upstairs.  Now.”  You didn’t have time to respond before Wanda grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the kitchen. 

You tripped over your feet as she practically pulled you up the stairs.  “Are you good?”

“I had a shitty day and I need you to help me forget about it.”  She kicked open the door to the bedroom and threw you inside before slamming it shut.  

“Alright,” you chuckled.  Reaching for your belt, you began to undo it before Wanda stopped you.  Her green eyes burned with an intense fire you’d never seen before.

“I need you to fuck me,” she stated plainly.

“I can do that.”

“No, Y/N.  I need you to fuck me.”

“I…well yeah, I can do that.”  You were confused.  Wanda was trying to ask you something but you had no idea what she was implying.  Fuck her?  You would willingly do that whenever she asked.  Wanda let out an exasperated groan, throwing her hands in the air as she walked away from you and flopped face down on the bed.  “Wands?  I want to help, sweetie, but you gotta tell me what you want,” you coaxed, flopping down next to her.  She mumbled something into the comforter, but you couldn’t understand her with her face full of quilt.  “What?”

Wanda turned her head to the side, her fiery red hair sprawling over her face as she attempted to look at you.  “I need you to fuck me.  Like, just fuck me.  Do whatever you want to me.  I want you to be so fucking rough with me that I’m begging you to stop.  But don’t stop, okay?  Hit me, hurt me, make me bleed, I really don’t care.”

“Are…are you sure?”  

“Y/N I swear to god if you don’t put your-”

“Okay, okay!” You brushed her hair out of her face, the long locks twisting as you carefully arranged it on the side of her head.  You smiled to yourself.  Certainly you’d find your fingers tangled with her hair later in ways that would drive her absolutely wild.  There were endless possibilities at play.  Wanda was giving you free reign over her body: you were going to take full advantage of that.  “What’s the safeword?”

“Pineapples.”  The same tried and true word.  It had never been spoken by either of you before, but you kept it the same for continuity’s sake.

“Good.” You pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.  It was the last bit of gentleness you wanted to show her, but Wanda had other ideas.  Needy hands grabbed at the collar of your t-shirt.  You found yourself being pulled into your lover as she rolled onto her side.  Her lips were incredibly soft and sweet, tantalizing you as you relished in their softness.  You felt her smile coyly as you kissed her back.  That was enough to almost make you lose all sense of yourself, but you managed to snap yourself back to reality before Wanda managed to take control of the situation.

“Oh absolutely not,” you teased.  Wanda’s eyes snapped open, her face flushing red.  Her body burned with anticipation as you straddled her waist, your pulse quickening as you rolled on top of her.  The two of you found yourselves dizzy in the thick atmosphere that filled the bedroom.  “You think you can distract me like that, huh?  We haven’t even started yet and you can’t take it?”  The thrum of desire surging through your body was almost insatiable.  It took all your self-restraint to only trail your hand down the side of her face.  You heard Wanda’s breath hitch at the light caress of your fingers against her cheek.  It was all she could do to nod.

Without giving her a moment to recover, you slammed your lips into hers.  She moaned into your mouth as you bit down on her lower lip.  The sharp metallic tang of blood coated sent a shiver down your spine.  There was something inherently dirty about the act of spilling blood, of coating your tongue in the crimson ichor that was meant to remain untasted.  As you lapped at the drops, heat spreading under your skin, you began tearing at the buttons on Wanda’s oversized flannel.  Your fingers moved deftly over the fabric as she arched her back, desperate for more contact with you.

“I bet you’ve been thinking about this all day, haven’t you, you little slut?”  Wanda whimpered, her eyes rolling back as you tore the shirt from her now exposed frame.  “What was that?  I couldn’t hear you.  You better answer me when I talk to you.”

“I want you so bad, baby,” Wanda whined. You smirked, reaching underneath her to unclasp her bra and throw it behind you.  “Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please.  Please.  Please just-”  A stinging smack across her face interrupted her incoherent babbling.  Tears gathered in the corner of her eyes as you leaned in close to her, your lips brushing against her ear as you spoke.

“I ask, you answer.  That’s how this works.  Please what?” you growled.

“Please fuck me.”

Your hand rubbed gentle circles over her reddened cheek.  Wanda’s utterly disheveled appearance drove you absolutely wild.  She was surrendering all her inhibitions to you.  Not only was it unbelievably intimate, it was incredibly hot as well.  Smirking as you locked eyes with her dazed emerald orbs, you gave her cheek a light slap before reaching down to thumb the waistband of her leggings.  You slid them around her waist, teasing the soft rolls of her tummy that were covered by the wide waistband.  

“Sweetheart, you’re soaked,” you mumbled as you carefully peeled her leggings off.  The growing dark spot on her otherwise pastel blue panties sent you into a frenzy.  A dull ache formed in the pit of your stomach as you bit back a moan.  

Quick hands made work of your own jeans as your tented boxers soon joined Wanda’s bra on the floor.  Your erection was rock hard, throbbing with every hammering beat of your heart.

“Oh baby, I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t see straight,” you teased, dipping a hand down her panties and sliding your fingers up her slit.  Slick juices coated your hand, which you promptly used to massage up and down your shaft.  Wanda salivated at the sight of her arousal coating your engorged length. Not breaking eye contact with your hand, watching as you fondled yourself with her sweet juices, she slipped her panties down her legs.  

“Did I tell you that you could take those off yet?”  Wanda yelped as you grabbed her wrist.  “Hands and knees.  Now.”  You yanked the sticky undergarments off, throwing them behind you to land amongst the discarded garments strewn on your bedroom floor.  Wanda quickly and willingly obliged your command.  Her body trembled with anticipation of your next action.  Both of you knew that you would punish her for her willful disobedience.  You were in charge, she was to submit to your demands.

Rubbing circles on her exposed flesh, her full and voluptuous ass on full display, you slapped it hard.  She yelped again, the sting of your open palm sending pleasure and pain to all ends of her body.  The skin beneath your hand burned bright red as you rendered slap after slap.  Each successive hit slowly transformed Wanda’s yelps and cries to stifled moans as her cunt glistened with her dripping arousal.  

“Dumb slut,” you muttered.  “God, you’re just a pathetic little cumrag, aren’t you?  Don’t worry, baby, you won’t need to think at all while I fuck you.”  You grabbed her hips, pulling them towards you as you lined the tip of your penis up with her entrance.  Heart pounding, lust teeming throughout every inch of your body, you buried yourself inside her in one quick thrust.  Wanda gasped as she adjusted to your girth.  It was far from the first time she’d taken you, but it always took a moment for her to acclimate to the intrusion.  While you normally gave her a moment, Wanda’s words echoed in your head: “hurt me.”

With no warning, you pounded into her.  You watched your cock dip in and out of her in rapid succession, her juices mixing with your precum and coating every inch of your shaft.  The sound of smacking flesh filled the room as your pelvis rutted into her ass.  You threw your head back, closing your eyes as you relished in the sensation of her walls gripping you.  Wanda clawed at the bedsheets with balled fists, her eyes rolling back into her head as soft moans escaped her open mouth.

“Look at you taking my cock so well.  You’re such a good little cock whore, aren’t you?”  She croaked out a garbled sigh in response.  “Can’t even answer, you’re so full right now.”

“Fuck, daddy, fuck my pussy,” Wanda groaned loudly.

“Daddy?”  For a moment you were snapped out of your scene.  It was the first time she called you that, but it only made the fire that was burning in your body that much hotter. “You like the way daddy fucks you, baby?”

“Mmhmm,” she nodded enthusiastically.  Her grip on the sheets tightened as she rocked her hips back against yours.

“Daddy’s gonna fuck you so hard you can’t walk.”  You had already set a brutal pace with your thrusts, but your hips bucked into her frantically as you teased her.

“‘M gonna cum,” Wanda moaned.  As you slammed into her cunt, Wanda let out a choked sob as her walls fluttered around you.  You didn’t let up, fucking her at full force through her orgasm.  “Stop, baby, it’s too much.”

“But I thought this is what you wanted, isn’t it?  You wanted me to fuck you like the whore you are.  Come on, Wanda, be a good girl for daddy,” you mocked.  “Yeah, that’s a good girl, hmm?”

Wanda’s head fell to the pillow as you brought her to the brink of a second orgasm almost immediately after her first.  Her muffled screams filled the room as her swollen pussy squelched with every buck of your hips.  You smiled to yourself knowingly.  There was nothing you enjoyed more than watching her cum.  Her second orgasm was quickly followed by a third.  By the time Wanda approached her fourth consecutive orgasm, you figured she was about spent.  Willingly spurring yourself on, you slowed your thrusts, methodically pulling your entire length out before bottoming out inside her.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you grunted.  Sharp nails dug into her soft hips as you shuddered with your thrusts.  You could feel the pressure coming to a peak inside you.

“Cum in me, baby,” Wanda begged.  Her voice was ragged from screaming.

“I’ll fill you up so good.  Stuff you with my cum, make it run down your legs, coat every inch of that fucking amazing pussy.”  With one final thrust you emptied yourself inside her, hot strands painting her womb white as you bred her.  Her walls milked every last drop from your cock as she came around you for a fourth time.   

Groaning, you collapsed down on her as the feeling in your legs finally gave out.  Your sweaty bodies pressed together as your hearts pounded wildly in your chests.  The orgasm left you satisfied, but you weren’t done with Wanda quite yet.  Difficult as it was, you rolled off her, reaching over for your nightstand.  

“Come on, slut.  I’m not done with you yet,” you ordered, rolling her over as you grabbed the handcuffs from the drawer.  The cool metal clicked into place around her wrists as you raised her arms above her head, reaching back into the drawer for the rope to secure them to the bed.  Once you checked to make sure the knot was secure, you rolled over to Wanda’s side of the bed, rummaging through her drawer for her large vibrating wand.  You found it, along with the proper restraints to make sure it stayed right where it needed to be.  The cuffs for her legs were right next to it and you threw those onto the bed, too.  

You made quick work of the ropes, cuffing her ankles to the bedposts and tying the wand around her midsection so that it stayed put.  Wanda’s breaths were heavy and ragged as you worked silently, focusing intently on your task as you tried to ignore the nude woman twitching and shaking underneath you.  

“Now,” you began as you jumped off the bed, “I have to finish making dinner.  I’ll be back once I’m done.”  You grabbed your boxers and jumped into them, reaching down once you were somewhat dressed to retrieve another item of clothing.  But this wasn’t for you.  “In the meantime, I’ll leave you here.”

“Y/N,” Wanda groaned.  You could practically smell the arousal pooling between her legs.

“Oh, and I like to cook in silence so…” You turned toward the bed, unballing your fist to let the stained panties dangle limply from your grasp.  Wanda’s eyes widened, her jaw dropping just enough so you could shove the garment inside and gag her.  You turned the vibrator on to the lowest setting with the intent of torturing her.

Back in the kitchen, you continued dicing your potatoes, mixing the dry rub for your chicken thighs together, chopping off the ends of the asparagus, and placing everything on two cookie sheets before plopping them in the oven.  It wasn’t more than ten minutes, but it was more than long enough for Wanda.  When you returned to the bedroom after placing dinner in the oven, you found a quivering mess of the woman you left behind.  Tears rolled down her face, ruining her mascara as screams stood silenced behind cotton.  Her body strained and convulsed against the constant overstimulation.  The bed shook violently as she bucked her hips wildly, a feeble attempt at loosening your restraints.  Her clit was swollen, her lips bright red and puffy while a slick sheen coated all of her sex.  A damp puddle pooled between her legs: you made a mental reminder to change the sheets before the boys got home.  Her eyes begged and pleaded with you to stop, the worst thoughts of her day finally expunged from her mind as a result of your brutal fucking.

As soon as you turned the wand off, Wanda’s entire body shuddered and collapsed deep into the mattress.  You carefully removed the underwear from her mouth, massaging her stiff jaw as you straddled her torso.

“You, umm, you’ve got a little mascara…here, let me help.”  You thumbbed away a leaky black trail from her cheek.  Her hands still restrained, Wanda gazed into your soul.  It was a distant look, like she was in a far off land and not really present.  “Are you okay?” you whispered, nearly closing the distance between your lips and hers.

“I…”  She couldn’t speak.  There were no words to describe what she just experienced both physically and mentally.  

“Did I hurt you?”

“No baby, no.  I just don’t think I can move,” she breathed with a slight chuckle.

“Do you want me to draw you a bath?”

“No.  No, no bath.  Not now.  Just…hold me?”   Wanda was at her most vulnerable.  You gave her what she wanted, as you always did, and it took everything out of her.  There was no one else she trusted to do this to her, and the intimacy it created between the two of you was something you couldn’t describe.  Even after all the pain and degradation and tears, all she wanted was to be held by the man she trusted as her protector.  

“I can do that,” you whispered, untying the various ropes and unlocking the handcuffs.  As you worked around her body, you occasionally stopped to press loving kisses all over her, massaging the porcelain skin that was only beginning to show signs of weathering.  The restraints were quickly discarded as you curled yourself behind Wanda, wrapping your arm around her midsection as you spooned her. 

“No, not like this,” she pouted, rolling over and pushing you onto your back.

“Okay,” you apologized as she clung to you like a koala, nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck.  It didn’t take long for Wanda’s breathing to deepen and slow as she relaxed into your warmth.  Your fingers found themselves tangling in the red hair that was spread across your chest, twisting and twirling with her natural curls.

“Thank you,” she murmured from the brink of slumber.  You smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she passed out from sheer exhaustion.  A shower and dinner and picking the boys up could wait.  For the next thirty-seven minutes until the beeping oven reminded you of your worldly existence, your world consisted of only you and Wanda lying in bed in the throes of ecstasy, closer than you’d ever been.