#last fandom i was in like a few years ago on here everyone got anon hate and i mean everyone. usually about shipping.

[curseofpower]

just realized something we have in common

we’re both ganondorf fans and I feel that’s worth saying :)

WELL....!

Can't deny that!

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil.

I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.

First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.

So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…

Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)

Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.

Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.

(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)

I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.

But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.

I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.

I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.

It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.

I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.

My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”

But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.

In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.

Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”

As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.

I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…

The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.

So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.

People always say “it’s never too late.”

One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”

I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”

It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.

Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”

But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.

Whew.

So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.

And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.

Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.

Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)

[matan4il]

have you ever been able to have any Palestinian friends? I'm not asking this as a gotcha question at all, but sincerely (I know anons on here can be scary), I was wondering about it because an Israeli I follow on Instagram was asked about this a few days ago in his stories, and he said he was never able to have friends in Gaza, but he did have friends in the West Bank, and they've almost all cut him off completely following 10/7, and some really hurt him by showing support for the massacre. he said he's still got his Arab Israeli and Palestinian friends who are Israeli citizens, that they may disagree sometimes but haven't to a breaking point because they live in the nation together and want peace and are supportive of each other through differences, but those friendships in the West Bank are sadly over. he also said that he's had friends he's known for years from places all over the world who dropped him after the terror attack just because he's Israeli and Jewish, which I think is all too familiar for ALL of us because I don't know a single Jew who hasn't lost multiple friends, online and off, through all this and through no fault of their own, just existing as Jews. it makes me so sad. but knowing he was cut off because of support of the massacre from Palestinians was depressing to hear, you think people are your friends and then find out they approve your people's rape and slaughter? and until they stop deeply hating Jews to that point, how can there be peace? he seems like such a good person and centers humanity and does want peace, as I know most Israelis do, but one side can't achieve that alone.

sorry this is long. *hugs*

Hi Nonnie,

thank you for the ask, and I hope you're doing good! *hugs*

I have had Palestinian friends. True, not from Gaza. Israel left it in 2005, and there has been an internationally recognized border between us since. Ironically, I think the only Israelis who could have given you a different answer up until Oct 7 were the southern communities that Hamas attacked and massacred. They lived right on the border, most were left wing Israelis, many volunteered to help Palestinians in one capacity or another (such as driving them to get medical care inside Israel), or chose to employ Palestinians (despite how some might have warned them that it's a security risk), and that illusion of friendship was shattered when it became clear that it was exactly those Gazans who provided the intel on southern Israeli communities, that was needed to plan and carry out the massacre. Not every single Gazan, of course. But enough that this is a true betrayal in the worst sense of the word.

In my case, some of the Palestinians I've befriended over the years have been uni friends or colleagues, but the closest and longest lasting friendships have been with gay Palestinians who I share a community with. They can't be safely openly gay anywhere under Palestinian rule, so they would come to Israeli gay community centers, and were received warmly there. I also was in one fandom, where someone heard I'm from Jerusalem, and said they know another Israeli from Jerusalem. Turned out, it was a Palestinian girl from East Jerusalem, and while I'm no longer that active in said fandom, I'm still in touch with that girl.

I feel very lucky to say that I haven't lost these friendships since Oct 7. Ironic, because I've "lost" friendships (if that's what they ever were) with so many hypocritical foreigners who don't live this conflict, and aren't affected by it, beyond their need to show everyone they're "on the right side," but I haven't lost the people who are actually a part of it. It's almost like foreigners have no idea about the actual complicated reality of this conflict, nor a desire to learn about it, just a need to reduce it to "good" and "bad," taking whichever side social media tells them is the former. My Palestinian friends know me, they know how I treat other human beings (spoiler alert: as human beings!) and they also know my opinions, and that I see myself as being both pro-Israel and pro-Palestinian. I guess they agree with me that my opinions are in favor of both groups, or I'm sure that they would have cut ties with me already.

There is one exception, though it predates Hamas' massacre. I've mentioned in my pride post that I've volunteered for the gay community in my city, at the Jerusalem Open House. In fact, there was a certain year where I won an award for being the organization's stand out volunteer. I mention this, because I have always seen myself as being there for everyone, and I feel like that award was an acknowledgement of that.

The very first Palestinian queer organization ever actually started out as "the Palestinian project" of the JOH, an attempt to create a safe space for, support and help queer Palestinians. One member of the group became very dominant and after a few years, she decided they should be an independent organization. The JOH gave its blessing, and agree to rent out one of its offices to her, and provide the physical space for the organization's activities (since obviously, they couldn't be openly held in Ramallah or Bethlehem, under the rule of the Palestinian Authority). I met her there, and we became friends. Not the closest, but def more than just acquaintances. I was very proud of her work for her community, and often told others about it.

One day, I was sitting in the JOH main space, talking to people about the problem of honor killings. It's widespread within Arab society (one researcher believes about 20,000 women are murdered for this around the world every year), and that includes Palestinians. I was specifically asked about it, and was answering the question out of a deep concern for Palestinian lives, mainly women and queers (including my own friends), threatened or murdered for the perception that they "violated" their family's honor. For the record, such a violation can be simply a guy kissing another one, a woman being raped, a biological male coming out and living as a trans woman, a mother getting a divorce and dating a new man, or a daughter defying her father's wishes and pursuing higher education. I have seen Palestinians (and Israeli Arabs) murdered for all of these reasons, and I HATE it and think more needs to be done to prevent such crimes. I also have queer Palestinian friends, who have tried to seek refuge in western countries because of a threat to their lives within their own society, sometimes from their own families. They were denied, and had to go deep into the closet. It's a miserable existence, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

She walked by while I was talking. IDK what exactly she heard, but she then went to the CEO of the JOH and complained that I was being racist. For caring about the lives of Palestinians. For comparison, I linked above to an Amnesty International piece about honor killings. Are they being racist for bringing up this problem, and speaking up for Arab women everywhere, too? The CEO called me in for a talk, was convinced that I wasn't being racist, and that was that. But it left me shook up. That was the first time I realized that this woman prioritized Palestinian society's appearance, over the actual well being of fellow Palestinian women and queers. I never talked to her again after that, nor did she ever speak to me.

I also started seeing her and her organization becoming openly anti-Israel, even when it harmed the community she was supposed to serve. In Sep 2021, there was even an article published about it, calling out the hypocrisy of attacking Israel, while this country's existence is what even enables that organization to operate, since they can't do so under Palestinian rule. And my friends who were seeking sanctuary from the threats to their lives from within their own society? They never got legal help in that pursuit from her organization, only from Israeli ones. I think that's a tragedy.

The last time her organization filed the needed reports to be officially recognized as an NGO in Israel was 2020. They obviously continued to be active after that, and still are (at least on social media, where they echo the anti-Israel narrative since the war started), but IDK if they're even doing anything real for queer Palestinians anymore, or whether she still heads it. Whenever I think about it, I'm just sad for all the people she should have helped, but who turned out to be less important to her than a nationalistic, antisemitic (that's what it is when she demands self determination for her people, but denies that right to Jews, as she does by supporting the BDS movement) and self-destructive (to her own community) struggle.

And yes, on a personal level, I felt betrayed by her, though I've also felt like her betrayal of her own people was way worse.

I think at the end of the day, for many Palestinians and Israeli Arabs, the question is what are they more attached to, that nationalistic, antisemitic struggle, or they (and their people's) well being. If you look at Mosab Hassan Youssef, I think what says it all, is that the son of a Hamas co-founder could end up on the side of Israel, initially not because of anything Israel did, but because he saw Palestinians in prison being tortured and killed by Hamas, and he gave a damn about his own people.

BTW, out of curiosity, who is the Israeli you're following, who got you wondering about this? And I really hope my reply was in some way helpful. Take good care! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

i know you will have a lot of messages about liam's death and won't presume i will be the first or last place you hear about it, but wanted to send a personal note to you specifically.

i followed you on and off when i was in the thick of my 1d fandom. i often do not agree with you as i do not believe many things you do. (but one reason why i appreciate your perspective is that i do think you would endorse me having my own opinions and interrogating those opinions regardless of what someone on the internet says.)

i haven't been on your blog in years. (i got a job i like in public service, and it keeps me busy, so only occasionally do i think about 1d.)

when i saw what happened to liam (who was, for a very long time, my favourite member) i found myself typing in your name.

this morning (my time, a few hours ago), i had spoken at length to my friends about my feelings that i had put so much time and care behind an abuser. (i am a survivor of dv, so that makes it even more painful.)

i also talked about my guilt over still feeling defensive about some aspects of liam's life (particularly the way he was piled on when he was just a little stupid or made jokes people didn't want to understand). i felt guilty for clinging to a belief that he was a good person who experienced addiction and mental health issues and that his story is tragic in so many ways.

(i will never forget how he spoke about drinking excessively for his boss photoshoot, the one where he was in his underwear. that, to me, will always be emblematic of how desperate he was and how sick.)

i'm rambling from the grief, but i thought you would help me make sense of this, and it didn't take much scrolling through a search for liam on your blog for me to find the post about abusers not being cackling evil masterminds.

i think it's really going to help me work through everything i feel. multiple stages and kinds of grief. so i thank you for still being here when so many already left, and i hope you are well, even though i know so many of us are not.

Thanks so much for this anon. It's so lovely that you let me know that you thought of me and shared your thoughts. It's awesome that you like your job and I'm really sorry for the guilt you experienced.

I really appreciate hearing your complex feelings - it helps me make sense of my own.

I had tried to answer honestly when anons had asked me how I was responding to Liam once Maya had described how I treated him. But I'm realising that there was a lot going on that I hadn't really processed. When I talked and thought about my response - I focused on what I was doing - how I was posting what I reblogged and not really my feelings.

I had so much affection for Liam - after Harry and Louis he was the one I responded to the most. The way he would just say things was charming, hilarious, and terrifying at different times (it's where my URL comes from). He was so transparent about wanting to follow the rules and wanting to make everyone happy - and hated when they were impossible individually and also conflicted. And I responded to that both as an observer and as someone else who had that very human reaction (I've been wondering if people who mention his desire to make people happy in their statements are intending to draw the connection between that need and the distress he felt.). My 'Oh Lima' tag - I think reflects the combination of responses I had to him.

That affection withstood a lot. There aren't many people who said they were voting Boris Johnson in the 2019 UK election - where my response was anything but life long range. But what he said was so absurd - and so compatible with the other ridiculous political statements he'd made - all I did is move him down on the list of objectively worst members of 1D and keep tagging things 'Oh Lima'.

I wasn't naieve. I knew there was a high risk that he was hurting people, particularly women he was having sex with. I've said as much at various points. I knew that there's a risk with any men, particularly touring musicians, and particularly people whose coping mechanisms for their distress are destructive.

So I wasn't surprised when Maya described how she'd been treated. I stopped allowing to respond publicly to Liam in that mode. But that didn't resolve or change how I felt. Years of affection, built up through empathy, just sat alongside the knowledge about what he'd done. I think that was a fine response - I had other priorities this year than resolve what I thought about Liam Payne. I think part of my inability to articulate anything immediately after his death was because existing tension.

It's really natural to feel guilty - but I hope you feel like you don't need to. I didn't feel guilty about my reaction to some of the pile ons about Liam. I hated the way that people felt righteous about making fun of everything he did. It matters if someone chases their girlfriend with an axe - it doesn't matter if someone does cringey dancing at the concert - and treating those as the same is incredibly trivialising with violence. I thought the response to him on Logan Paul's podcast was all about people pretending their desire to make fun of people was righteous.

His story was tragic. I knew one of the things that I was observing and responding to was Liam's distress. But that didn't make it easy to reconcile my what I'd seen, and his responses to distress that he'd hidden until recently. Learning to hold the line about the harm people do, and process our connections to them and understanding of their humanity - is an ongoing process for all of us.

I think it's really normal for our response to this to be multi-staged. What it brings up will be different for everyone. I'm still trying to understand what it means for me (I've realised since his death that wanting to keep everyone happy and follow the rules is causing a lot of my stress at work. And I probably identified with Liam more than I knew). I'm so glad you found my tumblr in this moment and that it was useful.

Everything you say here sounds very wise. It is a process. It's OK.

[sweetprfct]

Is It Over Now?

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Fake dating your flatmate, Joe, should be a simple thing. It meant you get to help get his ex back, and it meant you get to stop your parents' nagging about bringing someone home for once. But what happens when fake dating turns into something unexpected? Now, what?

Author's Note: I'm sure you all remember this unfinished fic. I'm back in this new blog. I'm setting my boundaries. Anons are off in this blog. I'm here to have a good time and that means no hate or drama from the fandom. I'm simply here to enjoy my writing and share it with everyone. Please read this for more info.

Disclaimer: Mention of violence, 18+

Wordcount: 3.7K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten

You knew going home for New Years was a terrible idea because when did you come home, and it ended up being a good quality time with your parents?

Never. 

All weekend, all you heard was your mum nagging about every detail of what was wrong with your life. You sat there on the dining table as she cooked dinner for the four of you. Your dad watching some sports on the television, and your younger brother sitting next to you, giving you a “just tuned her out” look. As if you haven’t done that all your life. 

“Did you know my friend’s daughter lived with her boyfriend for two years in the same flat, and he stabbed her in her sleep?” Your mum gave you her wide eyes.

“Mum!” Your eyes widened, disbelief that she had told you that. “I don’t think it's appropriate to talk about this.”

“Well, I’m just saying!” Your mum shook her head, sliding the chicken in the oven. “If her own boyfriend had stabbed her, how sure are you that you’re safe with that flatmate of yours?”

You rolled your eyes, hearing your brother chuckle next to you. 

“Wait, is she okay though?” Your brother interrupted. 

“She’s fine. Good thing she was rushed to the hospital right away.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose as your brother and your mum talked back and forth about the incident that happened. Meanwhile, your dad was just shutting the three of you out. Your brother was your mum’s favorite, especially now that he went through a divorce. She had babied him even more. She would say she felt sorry for him for going through such a shitty and rough divorce. Your dad, however, loved to nag your brother just like what your mum does to you every time. He would tell him how he shouldn't have married too early. That he only knew her for a year and decided that he was in love when he wasn’t in the first place. 

“I’ve been with Joe for a year. He’s fine. He’s barely home anyway.” You argued back.

Your mum let out a loud scoff, wiping her hands on the kitchen towel as she started working on the mashed potatoes. 

“You only kept that flat because you keep spending your money on unnecessary things!” Your mum has now found a new excuse for her complaining. “That's why you can’t afford your own flat. I mean look at Sara… She and Abby just bought a new place, and they got married.”

Oh no.

Here comes the marriage subject. 

You knew she was slowly creeping that subject in this conversation. She always managed to find a way to bring it up, and you should have seen it coming already. You and Sara have been best friends since college, and she has grown pretty close with your family. She got engaged last year with Abby, whom she met at an art gallery three years ago, and they got married just a few months ago. Though, before all that, you and Sara were flatmates. She moved out a year ago after getting engaged and started living with Abby. You, on the other hand, had found—you thought— a perfect flatmate. 

Joe. 

Joseph Quinn from that famous Stranger Things show. He was looking for a flatmate—you didn’t know why since he could afford it himself— and you thought it was perfect since he was barely home, and you could have the flat all by yourself most of the time. He wasn't too much of a hassle most of the time, and he knew how to treat your own boundaries well. It was perfect. 

Atleast to you. 

“Hate to burst your bubble, mother, but a flat in London is very expensive these days. I haven't been spending my money on unnecessary things.” 

“Maybe put that flatmate to use and get with him instead.” Your mum murmured under her breath, but you heard it loud and clear.

“MUM!” 

Ohmygod.

This woman was going to drive you nuts for the rest of the weekend. Was she that desperate that she was literally suggesting for you to get together with Joe? The woman was mad. 

“What?” Your mum gave you a look as if what she just said was not something so inappropriate. “You’re almost 30, and you don’t have a boyfriend nor have you brought anyone home at all.” 

You rolled your eyes, leaning back on your chair. You were 28 years old for fuck’s sake. She didn’t understand how hard it was to date someone out there these days. Besides, you liked your independence. You liked doing things on your own. You liked the way everything was in your life right now. You didn’t need to change that. 

“You two have been flatmates for over a year, and you’re telling me you two haven’t had sex?”

Good lord.

You got up from your chair, shaking your head. You couldn’t take anymore of this conversation with her. She needed to go get checked out or something because the woman was insane. Mental for sure. 

“Mum!” Your face was all scrunched up with the idea of you and Joe doing it. “I don’t like him like that! Also, just so you know, he has a girlfriend.”

“A girlfriend?” Your mum’s eyes widened. “And they don’t live together? That’s not going to last.”

“It’s his life, mum. Let him live the way he wants it to be.” You made your way towards the kitchen doorway. “Just like how you should let me live my own life.” You mumbled under your breath.

“Stop being so stiff and having an attitude with men all the time. That’s why no one asks you out.”

You sighed and paused in your tracks, turning to face your mum. You were ready for this conversation to be over.

“I’ll try.” You told her with a sarcastic hint in your voice before walking out of the kitchen, hearing your brother letting out a sigh. 

You knew he was frustrated for you too because he felt the same when it came to your father. Both of you dealt the same shit like this from your parents your whole lives. It wasn’t a surprise that the both of you were quick to move out of the house the moment you both graduated from secondary school. 

You flopped yourself on the sofa next to your dad, exhaling a sharp breath. The thought of you and Joe appeared in your mind, and you just couldn’t imagine it at all. You didn’t even know Joe well enough for you to like him like that. He was just your flatmate. A nice guy whenever he was around. That was all. 

“Mum bothering you?” Your dad interrupted your thoughts.

“Oh, you know, like always. She’s getting more and more inappropriate these days.” 

Your dad chuckled softly, taking a sip of his beer, his eyes were still laser focused on the game in front of him. 

“So, do you have a boyfriend at all?” 

You couldn’t help but let out a groan and threw your head back as soon as your dad mentioned that question. It was like you couldn’t get away from that subject at all in this house. You got up from the sofa and headed upstairs to your old room and stayed there until it was time for dinner. Your dad wasn’t as harsh as your mum when it came to conversations like these with you, but you were so sick of it. So sick of hearing the same question.

Why couldn’t anyone understand that you were fine being single? It wasn’t like you didn’t like being in a relationship. You were just bad at it, and you weren’t actively looking for one at the moment. You were too focused on your career, and why were they so adamant about you getting into a relationship when the both of them would fight all the time anyway? They couldn't even handle their own marriage well. Even now, they would argue in front of you or in front of their friends with no shame at all. It was stupid and ridiculous. 

How did they expect you to be in a relationship and deal with all that shit? 

It was all so terrifying.

You didn’t need that kind of shit in your life right now. You were perfectly fine being alone and just hanging out with your friends. You were fine meeting some man at the bar sometimes and maybe a little hookup but that was it. No strings attached after. Just a little bit of fun for a night. 

Coming home to your flat after that chaotic and terrible weekend at your parents’ house, you were so glad to be back in your own place. All you thought about the whole ride home on the train was how your bed was already calling you. You were ready to cuddle up in your fuzzy blanket, have some dinner and maybe a glass of wine, while finishing an episode of the show you were currently watching. 

Joe was in town for the next however many months. Who knows what his next schedule will be. You stopped keeping track of it since it would change all the time anyway. Though, you knew he was meeting his girlfriend, Ivy, tonight because he sent you a text when you were on the train that he left some dishes on the kitchen sink, but he would clean it up after his date with Ivy. 

Entering the flat, the place was dark and quiet. The only sound that you could hear was the heater automatically turning on every twenty minutes or so. Reaching for the light switch, you slapped it with your hand to turn on all the lights and made your way down the hall, dropping your duffel bag on the floor of your bedroom. You grabbed all your dirty clothes from your bag and threw it on the laundry basket before walking inside the shower to freshen up. Letting the hot water touch your skin, you exhaled sharply, letting your shoulders and mind relax. 

It was always like this.

You would find your whole body all tight and tense after visiting your parents’ house because of all the shit you have to deal with whenever you decide to come home. You didn’t even know why you would expect something else from them since it was always the same. You should have known. You couldn’t help but think about how you weren’t ever going back there again until Christmas because you couldn’t take anymore of hearing your parents’ nagging about the same thing all the time. 

Finally, pushing those thoughts away and reminding yourself that you were far far away from them now, you went to go make yourself some dinner and poured yourself a glass of white wine and settled onto the sofa. You figured maybe Joe wasn’t going to come home until later or better yet, he might stay over at Ivy’s place if he had too much to drink and couldn’t get away from her. 

You met Ivy a few times. She was tall and thin and an upcoming successful model. She was nice when you first met her but whenever she would come over after that, she would barely acknowledge you. It wasn’t like you really cared because it wasn’t any of your business. You did your own thing, and Joe did his. He never complained when, sometimes, you would bring a guy home, so why would you? 

During one of the nights that you and Joe would hang in your living room because you both ended up being bored on a weekend, he had mentioned that he and Ivy have been together for six months. From the conversation that you two had, it seemed like Joe really liked her. You couldn’t blame him though. She was pretty, confident, and a model. Who wouldn’t like her? 

So, after an hour of peace, you were sort of surprised when you heard his keys dangling on the other side of the front door as he unlocked it. It was only 9:30pm, and he usually doesn’t come home ‘til midnight or even at 2 am. Sometimes he doesn’t even come home at all. You heard the front door swung open and closed from down the hall as Joe’s heavy footsteps made the wooden floors creak. You drank your wine and looked over your shoulder to see him stumbling on his feet, walking towards you.

Was he drunk? This early?

Pausing the episode that you were watching, you got up from the sofa and walked over to where he was, helping him up on his feet. He was barely walking, and he was using the wall to lean onto it, so he wouldn’t fall flat on the floor.

“Are you okay?” You asked, taking his arm and wrapping it around your shoulder, helping him towards the sofa. 

Joe let out a sarcastic laugh and scoffed at the same time to the question you just asked. He flopped himself on the sofa and took a deep breath. He looked distressed. He could barely carry his head as he threw his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes. You wondered if something happened with Ivy. You wondered if they fought or if she said something to make him this upset.

“Ivy broke up with me.” Joe shook his head, his voice full of despair. 

You raised your brows in surprise, sitting next to him. You weren’t good at comforting someone, so you didn’t really know what to do or say. 

“Oh.” It was all you could manage. “I’m so sorry. Did she tell you why?”

It was a dumb question.

Of course, she would tell Joe why. Unless she was that cold hearted that she just told him it was over and left him like this. She wouldn’t do that, right? You just asked that stupid question because you didn’t know what else to say.

“She said because I wasn’t in town all the time, so she barely sees me and when I’m in town, I barely pay attention to her.” Joe fluttered his eyes open, straightened himself on the sofa and reached for your wine glass on the table, drinking the rest of it.

What Ivy said was such a lie though. 

How could she say that Joe barely paid attention to her when all Joe ever did was visit her whenever he was in town. In fact, he doesn’t even come home sometimes because he would stay over at her place, so what else did she want from him? 

“You know what makes it worse?” Joe scoffed again, shaking his head in disbelief. “She had to drag your name in the argument too.”

Your name? 

What do you have to do with all of this? What do you have to do with their relationship?

“What did she say?” You asked. 

Somehow, you sort of afraid of what Joe was going to answer.

“She’s jealous of you.” Joe replied. “Can you believe that? She’s jealous of you! She asked why I’m flatmates with you.”

That still didn’t make sense as to why she would be jealous of you. She knew you have been living in the same flat as Joe’s for a year now and all of a sudden, she was jealous? 

“Why would she be jealous of me?”

Joe shrugged, looking around his surroundings like he was looking for something. “I don’t know. She said something about you being smarter, prettier and better than her.”

What was in the air lately? Had people gone mad or something? First, your mum was saying all kinds of nonsense shit and now, Joe just told you Ivy was jealous of you? 

Jealous? Was she serious?

Ivy was literally a model. Every man would fall to their knees to have her, but she chose Joe over the rest of them. Not that Joe wasn’t attractive or anything. He was attractive, nice, and a good guy, but she could literally have anyone she wanted. Now, she was comparing herself to you? That was just ridiculous and honestly, sort of got you baffled over it. You weren’t even anything special at all for her to feel that way.

You couldn’t say all of that out loud though. Joe was already upset enough.

“I’m sorry.” You told him again, but Joe was too busy looking for something as his head snapped back and forth from side to side, his eyes scanning the room. “What are you looking for?”

“The rest of this.” Joe held up your empty wine glass. “Is it okay if you stay here and keep me company? Please?”

You nodded your head as you got up from the sofa to get the bottle of wine that you left in the kitchen and grabbed yourself another glass. You weren’t sure if it was a good idea to give Joe more alcohol but honestly, he probably needed it after tonight. Sitting back down next to him on the sofa, you poured the both of you some more wine, and you immediately took a sip of it, letting the liquid burn your throat and warm your stomach up.

“All her excuses were so stupid.” Joe drank his wine before continuing, “She knew how complicated my job could get, and I warned her about it, and she told me she could handle it. Now, she’s saying that she couldn’t?”

“I mean… if she knew about it, how come she’s acting like this was all new information she was just learning?” You turned to your side, fully facing Joe.

You brought your feet up and rested it underneath you to settle yourself on the sofa comfortably and continued to drink your wine. “You’re an actor. You are bound to travel to different countries, especially if it's a big part of your job.”

“Exactly! Thank you!” Joe threw his hand up in the air. “And bringing you in the conversation? Why would she be jealous of you? She had known all this time we’re just flatmates.”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. She seemed okay when I first met her. Then, she barely acknowledged me ever since.”

Joe scoffed, finishing his glass of wine before pouring himself more. You might want to take that bottle of wine from him soon because he might get even more drunk as he continues to vent over Ivy. 

“I feel like you’re the only one who understands. I know we barely talk because I’m barely even home most of the time, but thank you.” 

Joe was genuine and sincere and even when he was all upset, you could see the sincerity in his eyes. That was the one thing that you noticed about Joe. His eyes never lie. You could always tell the difference if he was lying or if he was telling the truth. Though, he didn’t really need to thank you. You understood how important his career was because you felt the same when it came to yours. However, it didn’t mean that he stopped caring about Ivy. You could see how much he liked her. 

“You communicated with her about everything that came with your career when she started dating you. Maybe you should try and communicate with her again about all of this? You know… to give her reassurance.” 

“I tried.” Joe leaned back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. “But she refused to believe me. She said she couldn’t handle it anymore.”

You pursed your lips and stared at your distressed flatmate for a moment, not really knowing what else to say or do. Joe picked the worst person to vent about his relationship problems because what did you even know about a relationship? Yeah, you have been in a couple of relationships, but you were terrible at it. That was why you never tried to be in one. It was better that way. But you couldn’t tell Joe that. It seemed like he really wanted to fix this and be with Ivy.

“I really liked her too.” Joe played with the empty glass in his hand. “I really thought we were going to last.” 

“I’m really sorry.”

You scolded yourself for saying that for about a millionth time tonight. As if your sorrys were going to help his situation. You just didn’t know what else to say or do, and you hated it. Hated the fact that you couldn’t comfort someone without feeling all cringey and uncomfortable. Giving Joe some affection was going to make it worse too.

You blamed your own mother for being so cold your whole life. Affection and comforting someone didn’t run well in your family. Though, you knew you mostly were just blaming your mother because you were still frustrated over the chaotic weekend that you had to deal with. 

What a start of a New Year for you and Joe, huh? 

Joe continued on to rant about Ivy, but you could tell he was just angry and frustrated with her. You could see it in his eyes that he still felt something for her. Of course, that wasn’t going to go away easily. Eventually, he had fallen asleep on the sofa. So tired from all the venting and so drunk from all the alcohol he drank that he just crashed.

You got up from the sofa quietly and grabbed the throw blanket, covering him up, so he was comfortable and warm. There was no way you were able to carry him back in his room. He was just going to have to be comfortable on the sofa. For a second, you studied Joe that was peacefully sleeping in front of you and thought how you sort of felt bad for him. You couldn’t really put the pieces together as to why Ivy would act like that, especially how she felt about you. You barely saw Joe around lately, and you thought Ivy felt the same way about him with the way she would act around him whenever she would come over. 

Laying on your bed that night, staring at your ceiling, you kept comparing yourself to Ivy. She was a model, you were just someone who worked at a biotech lab. She was much prettier and taller. You were short and not at all pretty—at least you thought so— compared to her. You were nowhere near famous or known by certain people when you walked down the street unlike Ivy and Joe. 

Closing your eyes and letting the subject go, you just hoped that maybe Joe would at least feel a little better tomorrow. 

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield

(I can't remember anyone else who wanted to be in the taglist so please let me know if you want to be in it).

[mecachrome]

probably very out of context, but how do you get into the nhl fandom? before i got interested in f1 i was looking for what sport to watch (other than football) and i wanted to go there because a few years ago it became a popular topic in m/m romance books (which i read a lot at the time, now i mostly read fics xd) and i found… nothing, i mean, on twt there didn't seem to be a community, i didn't see people interacting about the players, and there weren't high numbers in the posts either, i found a bit of the same thing here on tumblr and other apps, probably it's more popular on tiktok which is what is used the most? the thing is, in the end i couldn't get interested because i didn't understand anything and i ended up watching formula 1 thanks to the noise made by the stans of other fandoms that migrated there lmao

LOL anon a lot of the things you mention here that you considered to be barriers of entry are honestly a great overview of why user-restriction is more commonly practiced in the hockey archives...!

anyway i actually did some sports fandom analysis last year and i really think a large part of it is >nhl fandom is much more accessible to people in na and >football fandom is a lot more accessible to people in europe... for me personally, i've spent Most of my life in places with local hockey teams + part of my family is from a classic market so getting into hockey as a sport was like a pretty natural thing, and i loooveee going to hockey games and actually watching the sport—plus it's way cheaper, if you're in a shitty market with a shitty team you can go to one game and see the players all up close during warmies for like $20 vs. $1283749492347 to go to an f1 race. that being said though, there are definitely people from all over the world who are into the nhl and i do think it's really easy to get into! i've actually seen a lot of f1 fans migrate to hockey recently and i'd argue that it's a lot more public/mimics f1 fandom culture on twitter now (for better or worse haha) if you ever want to get back into it... i'd also say that there's lots of fic to read as well, but admittedly if you were only trying to consume hockey during the height of its like booktok surge, it probably wasn't the same landscape i was working with when i first started reading hockey fic 11 years ago. the thing is that BACK_IN_THE_DAY, hockey WAS the top-producing sports fandom on ao3, so it was super easy to invest in current narratives without feeling like you were part of some tiny grassroots community (ok exaggerated on my part but i'll get to this in a bit lol)... honestly if you just sort by kudos on ao3 while logged in there's plenty of old classics that are fun to read even if you don't understand everything! see an old graph i made below:

anyway 1) i truly think hockey is the best sport ever like as an actual sport in terms of Sportish Entertainment (forgetting the rpf for a second) and you can learn it pretty easily just by watching with a good commentator! hockey isn't like f1 where you watch a race with everyone on the grid, so that's why as an overall fandom it's more quiet and it helps to pick One (1) team you're interested in getting into and just watching their games and not worrying about the rest of the league for the moment.

for ex i'm primarily a dallas stars fan, and my main hockey blog 39oa is entirely meant for them, and they're the only team i watch All 82 Games For. i also have montembeault for other teams i like (mainly habs/nux) but i don't really update it that much anymore...

2) hockey rpf has definitely had phases with strong formative ships and the problem with it currently is that there's kind of a dearth of like active, marketable material to work with... at its peak and during the early ao3 days there was sidgeno, ship i won't name, bennguin (in some ways we still have 2 of these but it's not like at the same level of course), nickovi, i mean i could go on... tragic kings yaoi... and then the 2015 draft class revitalized things majorly (this is when i got into hockey rpf properly lol i peddled mcstromarner when they were still in juniors so hard... not many people know this) and a lot of rpf for the following years depended on them, and then of course we had the Summer of tknp which is what REALLY got things going again..... but that ship is functionally over and there's also a really prominent rivalry ship that has much less pull now that they're not actually on rival teams lol and then another ship that had rookie and_they_were_roommates narratives got separated so now it's like WHAT IS THERE TO SHIP!!! and i mean hockey is SO spread out truly, i actually have another old stats post about degrees of separation in hockey shipping but anyway... nowadays there is actually a Hawt New yaoi ship that kind of models jdtz (rookie rommates) that many people are into! so that's a fun place to start if you want to try somewhere trendy. i'm 100% sure if you sought out sharks fans on twitter in like a fandomy environment you could do so pretty easily...

3) i think part of it as you said is that hockey is a much smaller community, especially when you're interacting in the subfandoms for each individual team. some teams have HUGE markets on an IRL fandom level (canadian teams like toronto and montreal for example), but my team's being from dallas where the primary sport is american football means it has an absolutely tragic amount of news coverage and no one really cares about them much. the #southernbias in hockey is so strong 💔 and then on top of that even teams with big irl fandoms might not really have the equivalent attention on tumblr because it also depends on whether they have compelling yaoi to keep the fujos interested......... but to ME that's also beautiful because even if your team's fandom is just 10 people liveblogging and making gifsets with 40 notes, it's a special sense of community and the wank/drama levels are like insanely lower, and there's more of a sense of We're in this watching sports together than like We're all going to be really mad at everything and argue about team orders all day even though the race ended 5 months ago 🥲 yes the fic outputs will be much slower than you might like but that's what i mean by the grassroots feel haha like there's really a sense of support for the fandom creativity!!! f1 can kind of feel lonely sometimes because there's so many people but they're all silent lurkers/likers :'(

also playoffs hockey will change your life. so you gotta stick around until april!!!!!!!! that's all i've got...

[amidnight--dreary]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks so much for the tag @zsparz !!!💖

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

166!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

2.013.111. I write when I‘m stressed, can you tell?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly the MCU. Frostiron my beloved 💕 I recently posted a Huskerdust fic, though, and a couple years ago I posted some Good Omens stuff! I have another Good Omens wip brewing, but I haven‘t worked on it in a while.

4. Top five fics by kudos

First one up would be Your Call, a multi-chaptered ABO Frostiron thing that‘s sadly unfinished because I‘m not happy with where it was going somehow. Then Corners of Reality, my baby, Yes or No, Dereliktion and last but not least Vita Nova!

5. Do you respond to comments?

God I try. I’m so bad at it though. On long fics I always answer comments on the last chapter when I post the new one, but I keep forgetting to reply to comments on older chapters or oneshots😭 They all mean the world to me though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ohh I wrote a few angsty oneshots but it‘s been a while. Maybe Here, that‘s the most recent one. Of the older ones I remember all my light most clearly. Tony is dead or dying in both of these lol, poor Loki.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I like to think the happiest endings in stories are ones you had to fight for a little bit, so maybe Dereliktion. That was a long ride filled with angst and messed up relationships lol. I think Haywire (my first and so far only Sentinel/Guide fic, I love that trope a lot akfj) also has a pretty fluffy ending, and I have some oneshots that are pretty much all fluff!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Occasionally? Just the other day I got another anon ask on here complaining about my recent stories. Makes me extra thankful for everyone who takes the time to tell me they enjoy my stuff!!💖

9. Do you write smut?

I do! Pretty much all the time lol. I love writing Dom/sub relationships!

10. Craziest crossover?

I don‘t think I‘ve ever written one before?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yesss. I‘m not sure if they just didn’t know any better though, they deleted the copied parts as soon as I told them.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!! I‘m always so happy when that happens!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Also yes. One year I did a whole Frostiron Advent calendar with @rabentochter (do you remember this????? How did we have the time??????? Insane) and we wrote a few more collabs beyond that.

14. All time favorite ship?

Frostiron!!!!!!!!!!!! I love my sassy messed up geniuses lol

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Uhhh I‘ve got a few. I‘d like to finish/rewrite Your Call. Once I also had the cracky fever dream of Loki doing random standup comedy shows in New York because he‘d KILL that. Can you imagine the sarcasm. The gallow‘s humor. Anyway I started that and then realized I Cannot Write Standup Routines at all. So there‘s that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

What I like to write the most is character and relationship development, so hopefully I‘m decent at that? Also dialogue, I hope, but that kinda comes and goes depending on the conversation.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I kinda suck thinking of longish plot that goes beyond “will they kiss?? Will they FUCK???” so I’ve been trying to practice that. Also scenes with lots of action😭

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I like it. I’ve been wanting to write a fic where Tony can properly show off his language skills but I don’t know enough languages to pull that off lol

19. First fandom you wrote in?

The VERY first was Dracula, back when I was 13 or so. I had a big thing for van Helsing back then. My first fandom on ao3 was Once Upon a Time!!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ooohhh. That would be Corners of Reality, because I worked on it for years before I even started posting it and I love how it turned out. It’s a slow burn time travel enemies to friends to almost lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to allies to lovers fic. I had SO much fun writing it I still think about it all the time😭😭

I’m just gonna tag some writers I know are on here: @endlessstairway @xottan @izhunny @arabesqueangel @bouncydragon no pressure though!! And if you see this and you’re a writer please consider yourself tagged!!💖

[magpiefngrl]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "magpiefngrl"?

Hey, anon!

Oh fave fics! I love talking about fics and books, though I feel I talk about fics everyone knows and have nothing new to offer, esp since I've not read much in the last 2-3 years. Still, narrowing it down to 10 is super hard, so I've looked at my bookmarks and chose the ten fics that I've reread the most.

1. Bound Skerry by Frayach (drarry, M, 2.3k)

I've read this a hundred times and I'll keep coming back to it. Possibly my most read fic. The reason it's one of my Forever Fics is the prose. Absolutely stunning writing.

2. House Proud by astolat (drarry, M, 23k)

The original House Magic fic and the best one. I particularly love the hints of dark faerie magic, the horror elements and the brilliant worldbuilding. Astolat's prose is super readable and the pacing is excellent.

3. with exactness grinds he all by thistle_verse (drarry, M, 6k)

An aching fic with beautiful, lyrical writing. I've reread this so many times.

4. Art in Life by northofallmusic (tofsla) (wangxian, T, 2k)

I feel I'm repeating myself but this has excellent prose and it's aching and tender and made me feel all the feels.

5. Out of the Dead Land by orphan account (stucky, M, 63k)

OK so this hasn't stood the test of time because I finished it a few days ago, but WOW. Absolutely brilliant. I'm not even a stucky fan or anything. But I kept thinking about it when I was doing other stuff and I set aside the books I was reading so as to finish this. Now it's days later and it's still on my mind. I can't remember the last time I had a book/fic hangover. A very angsty fic and a fantastic exploration of Bucky's trauma. This is by one of my top authors of all time, who's now orphaned everything.

6. Mr Webster's Wager by Fahye + orphan author (same one as above) (Ash/Webster, E, 27k)

Now we're getting into the horny fics. This one is based on a KJ Charles short story which is the best romance short story ever written in my not so humble opinion. This takes the original story and the horniness of that scene and expands it into many horny scenes. It's masterful, very very hot, and just a fantastic fic.

7. Unhook the Stars by jad (drarry, E, 70k)

One of the first drarry fics I read and one that made a huge impression on me. Super kinky, lots of sex scenes, I've reread this a LOT.

8. IDK My BFF Hermione? by lettered (drarry, E, 19k)

Extraordinary. Phenomenal. It will always have a place in my Top 10. Also, very filthy, which is a huge plus in my book.

9. a better happier st sebastian by halsinator (Jonathan Strange, E, 6k)

Another one I reread a million times. Stunning prose and vibes and beautiful yearning. I keep coming back to it.

10. live from new york by varnes (wangxian, E, 87k)

A masterpiece, a classic of wangxian, this is a Saturday Night Live AU, which is such a bizarre choice for an AU--and yet it works. I don't live in US, I have never watched SNL, but I adored the fic.

I've left out a ton of favourite works and authors I adore, but for more of my faves, my AO3 Bookmarks is the place to go.

I have to say, this exercise has been quite illuminating: I don't think I've ever had such a clear glimpse of what makes me tick. In short, sublime prose, an aching, yearning mood and/or filthy porn.

*****

As for my username, here's the story: I joined tumblr a gazillion years ago (way before I got into fandom) and my first blog (still exists: @magpie-x ) was mostly what you'd call an aesthetic blog. I'd reblog cool pics and quotes and occasionally post a personal post about my life. I named it magpie because it was a place where I collected everything shiny, like a magpie. I rarely used it after a while tbh. Years later I read The Raven Cycle and fell heads over heel with pynch and knew that the only place I'd find fans was tumblr. I got into the nascent TRC fandom and soon I needed a space exclusively for fannish posts. I created a sideblog called magpiefangirling and when I later got an AO3 account I shortened the name. Years later I got into drarry, I became very active on tumblr again, and the sideblog wasn't enough so I deleted it and created a brand new blog with my AO3 name.

In short, magpiefngrl, means magpie being a fangirl. It was a random decision but it has now shaped me and I think of myself as Magpie in fandom spaces, and even chose that as my pen name for my future original romance books.

[stormblessed95]

Exactly storm

Taekookers being nasty af towards Jimin and Jkkrs are very wierd to Tae. I saw many jkkrs here saying they are not same as tkkrs..yes I agree. But, if we look back to 6-7 years before Taekookers were not nasty like this to JM. Slowly all those conspiracy theories piled up + lack of Tkk moments made them Rabid shippers.

Jkkrs are at starting stage. Just a few years before Jkkrs didn't had any problems with tae nor tkk, if anything they were happy when JM made Tkk rekindle their friendship. But now they have some conspiracy theory + lack of Jkk moments which made them to be wierd to Tae. Unlike last year, this year they got brave enough to publicly post it on their main acct. So Maybe after 1-2 years we will see Jkkrs turning to rabit shippers as well.

ALWAYS REMEMBER WE ARE THE OUTSIDERS HERE

None of us know Tae or JM or Jk than they knows each other. I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE HECK OUT OF JM. Even if I find some of tae's behavior wierd regarding Shipping who am I to publicly criticise him when the person I love the most is seen talking to Tae happily ? Now I just used tae's name as an example, we all may have some moments with all members we might not agree with, it natural..but I always look at jimin. If he's fine, I'm fine too.

Tkk came together + Vmin were talking to each other + Jkk had few moments + they all were standing together. So who am I to decide how they should act with their friend ? Who am I to say one is being shady there ? Who am I to say one is using another for FS ?

Also I hope Jkkrs will stop obsessing over tkkrs. None of it will make them stop hating JM, none of will make Vminkook hate each other, none of it makes a ship more real. Just report and block, more you spend energy on them, more you get done with everything. Just sit back and enjoy their music and bonds. It's so easy and make Fandom experience 10x better.

.... I mean yes. But like, where were essays like this one 2 from everyone on anon (to me or literally to anyone else) when I said literally the exact same thing basically, said I would block people for anti behavior, and was therefore attacked. Called a bad/fake "jikooker" and army? Yeah... idk. 1 to 2 years? Yeah, I think you should move that timeline WAYYY up honestly. I said a few months ago if things don't start getting called out, if things don't start changing, the jikooker community will be heading down the same direction tkkrs did. I said 2 months ago that people asked how tkkrs got as bad as they did and what happened there. That they have their answer and are witnessing it happen to jikookers in real time now. I stand by that. That's what happening here now. And if it continues down this direction.... it will just get worse until jikookers ARE exactly like tkkrs. Just like I used to try defending against by all the anti shippers who used to say that. It's a dark path jikookers are standing at the start of. If they ignore the warning signs and continue to walk it anyway, we all know where it's going. Or we should by now. I want no part of it any longer. I tried, I was attacked horribly for WEEKS for my efforts, by "jikookers" people who claimed they "used to love me". 🙄 So now I'm here for BTS and BTS only. And essays like this, after time has passed, after no one felt the need to say anything before this, idk. Idk the word I'm looking for, but it's not pleasing. Even though I AGREE with you for the most part and none of this is directed at you specifically, just everything and everyone in general. Sorry, I just can't bring myself to feel anything other than "yeah, that's what I said a while ago. And look how that turned out." Idk, I'm just down to "I told you so's" which feels petty and not quite accurate of my feelings either. So it is what it is. But I do encourage everyone else to sit on how you are actually feeling about everything more and think about it all for yourselves. Not what I or any other blogger is saying about it. And remember what it is that drew you to BTS for the first place and why you are ARMY. I'm here because I love them as people and I love their music. 💜

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Hi! We have a lot of replies related to our previous posts today, plus some random ones :) All twst-related, quite a lot of AzuIde ones.

Anonymous asked:

Hello hello! Just popping in to say I love your art before disappearing and lurking silently behind the screen and just liking your posts for the next few months! From one fan in a fandom populated with antis to another, thank you for your service in creating the tastiest pieces ever seen in the Twisted Wonderland fandom!

Hi Anon! Ahhhh thank you so much for your kindness and support, we really appreciate it! <3

You’re very welcome, and thank you again. We’re so lucky to have people who are into our stuff following and supporting us. Let’s keep having fun with this amazing cast and 19812739187 potential relationships and scenarios that they could have.

Anonymous asked:

In reference to the last question about Idia and Azul, when in their relationship did the comic about Idia losing the board game and being forced to, ahem, “compensate” for it take place? Were they a thing or was Azul just being a creep? 😅

(this is related to the first reply from here and this comic)

A little bit of both lol When I was drawing it, I had in mind that even if they weren’t dating by that point, they already had something. They’re already flirty, maybe even had sex a couple of times…

Which doesn’t mean that Azul isn’t being a creep mind you lol

Anonymous asked:

I saw a sketch you posted with fem!Idia and just plain old regular Azul and I was wondering if that changes their dynamic at all?

I actually did talk about it, but it was about a year ago, so I’ll reiterate!

For the majority of aspects of their relationship it would stay the same. But Azul is all about keeping appearances and creating a certain image to make a good impression (and then profit from it), so at times he’ll try to act like a perfect boyfriend (or even fiancée): he’d bring flowers, talk about inviting Idia to a romantic dinner. And it isn’t even 100% for Idia: it’s for everyone else to see how perfect their relationship is and to be jealous. He enjoys this role of a gallant princely… beau. Even though both of them know that Idia is (first and foremost) his friend who knows that he is as much of a nerd as she is… So Idia doesn’t play along.

Once again, it doesn’t happen all the time. For the most part they just play board games and talk shit about everyone, like they always do. But every once in a while they’ll start arguing because Azul wants his rich genius girlfriend to also look somewhat presentable, and Idia would absolutely hate that.

Then again, I guess Azul would do that to regular!Idia too…

Anonymous asked:

Dare I ask what Idia did that merited that “one little spank”?

(this is related to this comic)

He was probably being annoying lol Azul is that one person that Idia loves to poke, because he isn’t as terrified of him getting pissed at him. Well… maybe he should be.

Anonymous asked:

I know Idia is basically ass-less but I don’t think I’d be able to resist smacking it at least once just together his reaction. Hopefully, it doesn’t send him to the hospital….

Don’t worry, his ass (the lack of it?) is sensitive, but as long as you aren’t Azul or anyone else whose slap would break 30 bones, it’s all good! The prospect of hearing Idia’s terrified little “HIEE—!!“ is way too alluring.

artfulhero-m asked:

Your dick sucking headcanons got me thinking about how Azul can't because Azul be the kind of guy to put it in his mouth then immediately be able to tell exactly how long it's been since it was cleaned and also probably what that person last ate recently based off the pre and he is NOT risking his mood to be ruined because his partner's pre tastes like he was just chugging energy drink or something lol

(this is related to this post)

Omg yes absolutely. He has a lot of reasons not to want to put any dick in his mouth, and this is one of the major ones: he doesn’t need all that information, and he WILL judge that person and nag at him, especially considering that this certain someone chugs nothing but energy drinks…

characharing asked:

Riddle sucking like that hamster with the banana meme

Yes. Absolutely. Always. This is his spirit animal.

hipsterteller asked:

Rollo is probably bottom after seeing that art

(this is related to this art)

Yeah, he absolutely is… If being a bottom was a sport, Rollo would be a champion. And he is a virgin…

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

Every student LOVE Rollo, like wet dreams, love letters, collections of his stuff, the usual highschool/collage romance

Of course! His vice president is super lucky to be able to hang out with him more than the other guys, but every student loves Rollo.

Anonymous asked:

Who do you think Vil had his first time with?

While there are a lot of possible scenarios, we tend to think that Rook was his first. We have an entire post about their first time together! Another possible option is Jack, I guess.

Anonymous asked:

New headcanon, Rook likes to wake up Vil in the morning with a kiss like Snow White. His lovely beautiful Roi du Poison deserves to be awaken in a romantic fashion.

Awww, this is so sweet!

And also much more romantic than to just have Rook staring at Vil until he wakes up… He should definitely do that, Vil deserved it.

Anonymous asked:

After re-reading book six I gotta ask: Any opinion on Azul/Riddle? Thought towards the end they were kinda cute together but also the way Azul pushed for riddle to be both a doctor and a lawyer felt very "I can use you in the future"

I talked about them in our post about book six, and also we have a hc post about them!

We don’t really ship it much, but their interactions really are great. And I also really like the fact that Azul considers Riddle useful, I am 100% sure that they’ll exist in each other’s lives even after graduating NRC, even if they won’t be romantically involved with each other.

Anonymous asked:

I hope to one day see Lilia go through all the bottoms and leave them all shaking messes 🙏

Grandpa is too old for this type of gymnastics..! Just kidding, he’ll leave them all shaking messes lol And THEN he’ll collapse.

You know, I think out of all of our “tops”, Lilia has the most potential bottoms ship-wise… him and Floyd, both of them have quite a harem due to their flirty nature.

So yeah maybe one day you will see Lilia going through all of them. I would like to see that…

[dream-beyond-the-dawn]

Coffee and meetings (Aph Russia omo)

This was requested by anon so...here ya go. If you're reading this, I hope you like it. I'm not proud of it because it's definitely not my best work. Truth be told I haven't really been in the Hetalia fandom since I was like 14 lol almost 10 years ago. But I tried lol.

Meeting after meeting after meeting. That's all Ivan had done ever since the time he woke up that morning. He took another sip of what had to be at least his third coffee that morning while glancing at his watch from the break room. He still had 15 minutes to finish his coffee.

He relaxed back in his office chair. He probably could be spending his break doing something more productive- considering he was about to attend a meeting lead by the notorious talker- Alfred Jones. But all he wanted to do now was sip on his coffee in the break room with no one there to bother him.

At least it was his last meeting of the day. And it was only an ally meeting so that meant less people.

Ivan finished his cup of coffee, deciding he should probably go to the bathroom before the meeting started. They were notorious for lasting anywhere from thirty minutes to a couple hours. He didn't usually even have anything to say. Ivan preferred to listen and not speak up much. That and he knew a lot of people found him intimidating, something that didn't bother him.

He turned the corner to the bathrooms only to see they were both cautioned off. Then he remembered someone mentioning in passing that the building was being partly remodeled. He was pretty familiar with this place by now and he knew that they only had one bathroom.

Maybe drinking three cups of coffee wasn't a good idea. But he shrugged it off and headed to the meeting anyway. He'd never particularly had a small bladder anyway so he would be fine.

He sat by himself on the very end, far from anyone. He wasn't sure what the meeting was about but he didn't really care.

"We have a lot of ground to cover today." Alfred started out, sounding as enthusiastic as ever. "We're going to be discussing national security. Does anyone want to start?"

Ivan tuned out most of what was being said. Ludwig started the conversation which wasn't exactly shocking.

So far all the meeting has consisted of was a projector playing a video of what each country was doing in an attempt to lower crime. Some of them admittedly weren't bad ideas but there was something distracting him.

The coffee that he drank was starting to fill his bladder. It wasn't bad yet but if the meeting lasted as long as predicted then a potential problem was in the making. And only 30 minutes had passed too.

Ivan leaned back in his chair and tried to get comfortable while each person took turns on their speech after their segment of the slideshow ended. He knew his turn was coming up which made him nervous. Public speaking had never been his thing. It wasn't necessary that he was shy- he just didn't particularly enjoy any attention drawn to himself.

Which is why he had to be even more careful with anyone catching on to his predicament.

"Ivan what about you?"

He stiffened. What were they even talking about? He was so focused on his bladder that he wasn't paying a bit of attention to what anyone was even saying.

"Forgive me, I am just a bit jet lagged, da. I'll sit this one out." He said it with a smile but knew it came off as forced.

There were times when everyone being various levels of scared of him paid off. This was one of them.

He got a few somewhat annoyed glances from the others who likely didn't want to speak up either but he didn't care. The sooner this was over the better.

Something he'd learned how to do throughout all the years of having to attend meetings, he had learned to tune them almost out by distracting himself.

Sometimes he would tell himself stories and sometimes he would reminisce on the past.

Right now he was finding it hard to do anything other than think about how badly he needed to use the bathroom.

He glanced at the clock. The meeting hadn't even made it past two hours. He was glad his sister, Katyusha wasn't there. She definitely would have noticed and likely said something. His other sister- well he didn't want to talk about her.

Another hour passed and Ivan was now starting to sweat. He was so focused on anything other than his bladder that he didn't notice Feliciano address him out of concern.

"Are you okay? You don't look too good."

Shit. Now they were all paying attention to him. They all knew. They had to.

The stress of his situation made a single drop escape Ivan, who was trying not to panic. He let this go on for too long.

"Are you okay dude? You look like you're about to puke." Alfred paused the slideshow that was playing. "do you need to step outside?"

Ivan stood up, barely managing to keep a relaxed posture and exited the room without word. He was too desperate to worry about how embarrassed he would definitely be about that later.

When he turned down the hall away from the room, he stopped and grabbed himself, crossing his legs. He bit the inside of his cheek so hard it started to bleed. 'I can do this.'

After being hunched over for a few seconds he was finally able to gain some control. His bladder throbbed in pain, begging for release.

Ivan tried to make it to the exit building- if he could just go outside he could-

"Dammit!" He was hit by a wave of desperation so strong that even holding himself wasn't doing anything to help him hold it back all that did was make him realize how wet his pants were.

Ivan took one more agonizing step towards the door and that was the breaking point. He stared down in shame as his light colored pants turned dark as they became saturated with piss.

The feeling of relief was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He couldn't hold back the small sounds of pleasure he made.

It took about three entire minutes before he was done. Now be was left with cooling wet pants. Ivan took his coat off and wrapped it around his waist which made it hard to see what had just happened.

He looked up when he heard the sound of a door shutting followed by footsteps. He quickly hid behind a door to one of the other rooms so no one would see him.

"Where did Ivan go?" Arthur asked sounding impassive.

"He didn't look like he felt good. I bet he went home." Alfred responded back.

So they must've been leaving together. That meant he would either have to sneak out after them or wait until everyone else left.

"He's not supposed to be doing that."

"Did you wanna be the one to stop him? C'mon the dude is nuts sometimes. I don't want him to beat me with his magical pipe of pain."

That was all he heard before they left. By now his pants were extremely uncomfortable but he noticed a small clothing store across the street. It would certainly beat driving back to his hotel with wet pants.

He waited a few minutes before leaving the building and heading straight for the clothing store. He wasn't sure where everyone else was but he didn't want to stick around and find out.

[ingravinoveritas]

<3 all ur d&m pics that show them as a couple. how many ppl who say that get as much stupid mail as u do? probably not many which sux. u say what everybody sees and then ppl get butthurt.

Aww thank you, Anon! I appreciate this so much. Yes, I have definitely had more than my share of stupid/hate mail (which you can see in my #the fact that i even gotta respond to this and #fandom woes tags) over the past few years. And it seems like every few months, a thread pops up on Twitter of people bashing RPF or anyone who talks about the possibility of Michael and David as a couple. I saw one such thread last night (not linking to it, cause it's not worth it), but I was struck by how...pointless...it seemed.

Because what I see--overwhelmingly--more than threads like that is comments like the Pinterest ones I've recently highlighted. Sometimes I see comments that are from as far back as four years ago, but I've seen a lot more newer comments, too. So the people who waste their time railing against RPF/shipping Michael and David seem willfully ignorant of the fact that a) A lot more people either don't care anymore because it's not a big deal/we have bigger issues to contend with; and b) Michael and David ship themselves with each other more than anyone else ever could.

It is interesting to me, what you said about this being something everyone sees. If that is the case, I do have to wonder why there is such an issue with me saying it out loud. Michael and David are over here calling each other their "other partner," "other wife," "lover," "emotional support pet" and so on and that's somehow fine, but then I get attacked for pointing out the possibility that maybe--maybe--they might not be joking. Or are telling the truth in the guise of a joke. And what really grates my cheese is that I've always said that I am more than open to the idea that Michael and David are just friends and nothing has happened between them...yet the anti-shipping crowd won't even consider the idea that something has, or that they could be more than friends.

I also think it's noteworthy that there truly are countless pictures of Michael and David looking like a couple. Not only from the GO press tour, and not only from 2019, but consistently over the past four years. Even when they're not in the same room, that 'vibe' is always present (such as on TLL, when Michael straight up bought David on national television and said he was going to keep him in his basement). And that's what I see people commenting on--casual fans who (for any number of reasons) more often than not pair Michael with David (and vice-versa) instead of their own partners.

So yes, it has been frustrating to see people getting butthurt (that Twitter thread from last night got under my skin somewhat because I was just starting to write a new MS/DT fic, and it felt like someone throwing a wet blanket on my ideas). But as I've said before, I would much rather people come for me than another person who would be far more affected/devastated by it. I will always talk honestly about the things I see and the observations I make, and I'm happy that my blog has become a place for people to safely share their thoughts, too.

Hopefully the discourse will improve some when GO 2 comes out (and if/when there is a press tour) and we get to see Michael and David together again. In the meantime, I'm so glad to have received your message, Anon. Thanks for writing in! x

[thelonesomequeen]

I'm so intrigued by tonight. I have had a question for the longest time. If you have had access to pics of Alba and some other man last year but couldn't show us, why say anything at all? It is a topic that keeps coming up. I know that there's always talk of Chris's fans being insane. Teasing those pics feels downright inflammatory lol!

Just to correct the ask, it is only one picture, not multiple.

The intent of talking about that picture was not intended to be inflammatory. Honestly, the existence of the picture at this point has kind of become a moot point in my opinion. You need to think back to nearly a year ago and where the fandom was and what we publicly/officially didn’t know then vs. what we know now.

Back when we received the tip off that the picture would be coming, we really weren’t even sure if the anon would come back with said picture or if someone was just pulling our leg. But they did come back, the only issue was they could share the picture with us but we couldn’t post it because it was something that would land them in a lot of trouble. We understood that. All we could do was describe the photo to you all and we completely understood if some people did not want to believe in its existence based on the fact that we couldn’t share it. We got that. We were the queens of saying “pics or it didn’t happen!” and here we were with evidence we couldn’t share. Some people believe the existence of the picture, some don’t. We’re not going to argue with you when we literally can’t post the picture as evidence.

As I described the photo back then, it didn’t prove that Alba was in a relationship with this guy, but if I had seen my husband with his arms around a girl like that I wouldn’t have been too happy about it. He’d have some explaining to do. So again, as I said it then, take that comment for what you will. Yes, we did reverse image searches on the photo to see if it might have been old and popped up anywhere else. We didn’t get any hits on the reverse image search. So as far as we know, this picture doesn’t, and hasn’t existed anywhere else online anyway.

So, why did we talk about it at all during that time? Well you have to think about what discussions the fandom was having at that time. The argument wasn’t are they real or are they PR like everyone is fighting about now. The argument was, is anything at ALL going on between these two? Friends, relationship, hooking up? Does she have a boyfriend? There were rumors about that. Does he have a local girl at home? There were rumors about that too. The fandom spent hours assessing posts by Alba, her friends, Chris, his friends and family. Basically looking for anyway to connect the two of them together outside of a few follows on Instagram. If a lot of you remember, we personally didn’t think anything was going on back then. (In hindsight we were wrong about that, we admitted it last fall, and here I am admitting it again.) So many of you were trying to convince us something was going on between the two of them, but we just weren’t sure. And we weren’t the only ones. A lot of people were skeptical if something was going on or not when outside of New Year’s (the first time) and some Instagram follows, there was no other evidence that connected the two of them together.

So in the general grand scheme of “is anything going on with these two or not” the picture we received felt like an important piece of that puzzle last year. It seemed like evidence that something might NOT be happening. But as I said earlier, it’s obviously a moot point now because since then, they’ve publicly confirmed the relationship and we’ve seen plenty of pictures and videos that place the two of them together over the last year. The discussion of the picture was never intended to be inflammatory, but felt like an important part of the discussion that was going on back then. 🦎

[writer-in-theory]

Angst Fic Recs

hello!! so i've had four anons asking for angsty fic recs. unfortunately, a couple of them have gotten deleted because technology is my mortal nemesis, but hopefully you're still here and happen to see this!!

i'll also disclaimer this by saying that some of these i haven't read yet but have been recommended to me by friends. another disclaimer that i could've added countless others as there are so many wonderful lovely beautiful writers in this fandom.

i tried to limit recs to one fic per writer, but that didn't always happen. this is split up by happy/hopeful endings and no happy endings/ambiguous endings.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

HAPPY/HOPEFUL ENDINGS

➼ enough by @radiant-reid - as a side note, this one is so beautiful bc it's a topic i don't see often in fics and it's done so beautifully Almost ending their engagement, Y/n learns something she thought influenced Spencer’s decision actually didn’t matter

➼ traitor by @shemarmooresfedora You try to step out of your comfort zone to surprise Spencer but it backfires.

➼ loss by @alexontheinternet - if you want angst, go read alex's fics. seriously, i could add almost all of her fics they're done in such a lovely way. Reader is attacked during the last case resulting in a tragedy for her and Spencer

➼ addicted to a losing game by @sinfulspencer - this fic has a part two and is just so brilliant. i've read it quite a few times Rossi is getting married, the whole team is present. Y/N doesn’t have a date but Spencer does. And it’s not her.

➼ if i could see me now by @andiebeaword - i love this obviously bc it's written well but it's also such a brilliant idea Spencer hits his head. Next thing he knows, he’s talking to himself … from 15 years ago.

➼ trivial details by @june-moon22 - this was one of the first fics i read for spencer and i still think about it a lot the last thing you expected when you got on that train was to end up at the hospital with your ex by your bedside, but sometimes, not everything goes as planned.

➼ envy by @kahootlobbymusic When a new Agent joins the team, Reader can’t help but feel a little envious after she becomes friends with everyone quickly, inlcuding a certain doctor who seems to have a crush on her.

➼ (silence) by the door by @safespacespence - this one hurt me in ways i cannot express. it's so beautiful and athena has such a lovely way with words. spencer, your best friend, hasn’t shown up to work after maeve’s death, and you don’t know how to help him out. this is the longest you haven’t spoken to him, and he won’t talk. but, maybe he’ll listen? so you read to him, by the door, every night, in the hopes he’s on the other side, content with your company.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

NO HAPPY ENDINGS OR AMBIGUOUS ENDINGS

➼ human by @sinfulspencer “I cheated.” “I know.” Spencer and Y/N have been together for over two years. Sometimes love is not enough.

➼ better off without me by @sassymoon (MINORS DNI) - another side note, but anat is the absolute queen of writing beautiful heartbreaking angst. i wanted to add so many of her fics because they're all so wonderful this is the end of a relationship that was the best thing he ever had, and it’s time to say goodbye.

➼ a heartbreak in mid-december by @reidsbookclub - i've reread this about four times. it's just so good and there are lines from this that still stick with me. wonderful. Request: Idk if you’re taking requests rn (been thinking about you❤) but I was listening to the song December by neck deep and I felt like it would be perfect for an angsty mutual pining fic between reader and Spencer.

➼ we were happy by @lovelyspencers Months after their break up Spencer and gen!Reader learn that loving someone means letting them go sometimes.

➼ you said forever by @cacoetheswriting “fic based on Olivia Rodrigos new song Drivers license where Reid and Reader broke up and reader still loves him (he feels the same and it was just circumstance or not) and then JJ confesses her love to Reid and Reader is distraught.”

➼ one more time by @reidjumpers Spencer was still drowning in his love for a girl that had died in front of his eyes, no longer had a place to go as she went away, and you were too untrusting to the feeling that was greater than your being.

➼ profile me by @reidscanehand - this is also a topic not often seen in fics, but it was so poignant and heartbreaking. it broke me down and built me back up again. an absolute masterpiece. In which Spencer Reid fulfills his wife’s dying wish.

[froggy-frogz]

Helllooo!! May I get a brett x male reader where brett cant go minutes without wanting a praise checkup to make sure his boyfriend still loves him even though his bf adores him? thankyou!

A/N: I hope you enjoy anon! I'm not sure if this is what you were sorta expecting but I had a fun time with this prompt. It's sorta funny that it's kinda a thing for everyone in the Inside Job fandom to see Brett as someone with an excited puppy personality type beat.

10:08 a.m.

You weren't even at work for ten minutes when there was a knock at your office door. You were just setting down your shit when Brett barges in, and with a giant, loopy grin, pulls you into a tight hug.

"Hey baby," You hug him back, rubbing his arm. He'd gotten a lot more clingy as of late. Not like you didn't mind. Cause if you were honest, you sorta loved the attention, but at work? "What's up?

He beams at you, "Just checking in, making sure you're alright before the meeting today."

"I'm doing alright, glad you came to say hi, handsome." You press a quick kiss to his lips, "Now I'll see in you in a bit, don't want you to get in trouble."

12:29 p.m.

The meeting was going alright, but Brett seemed distracted, he kept clearing his throat or tapping your foot with his.

It was this same behavior that you were a little concerned with.

"Hey... Hey... Hey babe." He whispers, finally drawing your attention to him, and when you face him, "I love you."

"I love you too," You snort, taking his hand, "but you have to shh, I'm not getting in trouble again."

1:14 p.m.

Right in the middle of the meeting, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. Thankfully no one was in the men's room so you were thankfully, now peacefully alone.

Well. For a good goddamn minute until the door opened and in walks Brett.

"Brett- What are you doing here?" You raise an eyebrow, "You literally went pee before the meeting, I know cause you told me."

He laughs, but it sounds strained and nervous, "Uh, yeah, well about that."

"Are you okay?" You quickly wash and dry your hands so you can quickly check his forehead to see if he was sick, "You've been acting weird? You sick or something?"

"No no! Nothing like that I promise-" He fumbles with his hands, and looks at the ground before looking back at you, "It's just, do you love me? Like, love me love me?"

Ah. See what's happening here.

"Poor sweet baby." You press a kiss to his lips, "Yes, I do, it hasn't changed in the last 30 minutes."

"Hehe," He turns red.

Cute.

"C'mon you big lug, if we're gone any longer the gang might think we're doing a quickie in here."

You get a spurt in response.

4:47 p.m.

The rest of the day was uneventful. You ran to go pick up some shit for Reagan before returning to work and once you got back, Brett was at your side for the rest of the day.

Thank God you got the okay to go home, and coincidentally so did Brett, and he offered to drive you home. You couldn't say no, so now that's what you were doing.

It was a little awkward, driving home after what had occurred not even a few hours earlier, but you had a sudden idea as Brett pulls up next to your apartment.

"Hey Brett-" You unbuckle and turn to him, "Want to stay the night? You probably were anyway but we can watch that tv show you like so much, it's probably on Netflix."

"It's 'The Growing Years', but yes please, I'd enjoy that." He seemed a bit happier now, in contrast to how quiet it was moments ago.

"Alrighty then lover boy, let's go."

[palettepainter]

So I don’t usually make posts about anon hate, I’m pretty good at laughing it off and the only one issue I can think about that I couldn’t laugh off was when I left the Zoophobia fandom and an anon (might have been one person could have been multiple, but I suspect it was just the one) was using depression as a form to guilt trip me. As someone who knows two people with depression, I did not and will never find this funny or acceptable. 

That being said this morning I woke up to an anonymous ask, I have since deleted the ask but I do want to address it.

I made this post a few days ago talking about the Hazbin pilot, and asking people if their interest in the show had changed since it came out - https://palettepainter.tumblr.com/post/706536540205154304/keep-it-civil-to-my-hazbin-followers-has-your#notes

I actually got some replies to this, both on Tumblr and Twitter, and everyone was very civil and when I sent my replies back to them to talk about the show, none of them got weird of hateful towards my opinions - then I woke up this morning to an anonymous ask saying this: “Hazbin fans: Haha, I’m in danger”

There was more to the ask but honestly my brain just kinda blocked the rest of it out, I registered it as hate I didn’t want to deal with so I just deleted it. Let me be clear: I do not hate Hazbin. I never said in the post that I hated Hazbin, go back and read it if you have to. The only thing I said in that post that I didn’t like was the writing in Helluva Boss and a few of the Hazbin redesigns. That’s it. I even stretch to say I hate the redesigns, I’m just not a big fan of most cuz they haven’t changed a lot so there’s nothing to go into a big whoop about. I’d say the one I dislike the most is Adam, that’s all. His design so far is the only one I really have a small issue with. The Hazbin fandom has been running on fan content for three years since the pilot came out, which I and others understand since the crew and Viv herself are limited in what they can and can’t say about the show, but it’s the same deal with Zoophobia. Zoophobia was running on fan content for YEARS and that was why my interest started to waver in the first place, we’ve had no real character information from the team. We’ve had redesigns yes, but that’s it, pictures you can look at for a second. Can you honestly - if you get off your high horse for just a second - say that all of the Hazbin fandom would have the same intense love for this show after three years of no animation? ALL the hazbin fans? 

I like having anonymous asks open, I want to give anyone who wants to ask me a question or send in a headcannon or whatever the opportunity too. I enjoy answering your questions, and yes while I know having anonymous asks open is a two way deal situation where you can’t have the kind asks without running the risk of getting some petty hate every now and then, here’s the main problem here. It is NOT the fact that I’ve received hate that’s the issue here, there’s always gonna be somebody that want’s to feel clever and send in a hate ask just to feel something, my issue is what the anon said. 

Saying stuff like that, thinking you’re being funny or trying to crack a joke, just makes me not want to draw for Hazbin.

I actually have many character bio’s scripted out in my Google Docs for NG redesigns and I even have a completed doodle of Iridescence’s new look in my folders - I shared an old WIP of her redesign to my Patreon a while ago - I was looking forward to sharing this work, and now I don’t want to share it. 

It was asks like these that made me glad I left the Zoophobia fandom in the first place, because the moment I said I was leaving I got more hate then I ever have from any fandom. I have gotten zero hate - ZERO - from the MHA fandom, a fandom that is famous for defending ships till their last breaths. That same fandom that sent death threats to the literal creator of the manga if he didn’t make their ships cannon (which we can all agree I don’t need to make a post about for people to understand why this is a massive step over the line). Zero hate. I’ve had some weird asks, but zero hate. Nothing at all.

If the anon is reading this - I’m pretty sure you are since I’ve got a suspicion you’re the same hater that keeps sending in asks like this - while it is very charming you’re spending precious seconds stewing over what I do and don’t draw, if you sent in that ask hoping it would guilt me into drawing for Hazbin, you’ve only made me not want to post stuff for the fandom.

So to my nice Hazbin followers who I do appreciate, blame this anon for no Hazbin content