#last bit is definitely not based on personal experience btw

[applestorms]

almost made a joke earlier that light yagami would pull the “ackshully i’m neurodivergent and also a minor,” card if he had access to current-day internet but had to stop myself because. he would not fucking say that. light yagami would never fucking admit to being neurodivergent. he just can’t do it. he Can’t.

current day AU where light’s school starts running a program to discuss mental health. light listens to all the lectures about the different types of mental illness and goes “damn. that’s so unfortunate for everyone who has to deal with that, i can’t even imagine 😔😔” and everyone claps but then later when they start playing the obligatory “DONT KYS LOOK AT THIS CRYING FAMILY THEY MISS THEIR KID SO MUCH PLS DONT KILL YOURSELF” video he has to excuse himself to cry hysterically in the bathroom for approximately 7.2 minutes before patching up his concealer and sitting back down like nothing is wrong.

[gnar-slabdash]

Speaking of last names.... and I'm just totally spitballing here in the interest of getting some representation for something i wish I saw more of.....

My favorite headcanon about Sophie's name is that the reason she never admits to a "real name" is because after all of her different identities and all of her identity crises, being Sophie Devereaux is how she got the opportunity to really decide who she is and where she belongs, so she's decided Sophie Devereaux IS her real name.

Nate, meanwhile, his name is so very tied up in his history with his father, who he still loves but doesn't necessarily want to identify with. And when he got his dad a new identity, he put his mom's maiden name on it, wanting to tie both of them more to her history rather than the ignominious one that has Ford stamped on it.

When my parents got married, my mom felt a lot of loyalty to her family identity, and her family was really good at welcoming my dad in and making him part of the family too. My dad on his side had the opposite experience, his family was very controlling and very excluding and neither of them really wanted to continue to be part of that. So they decided what worked for them was, my dad took my mom's name. And you know what's fucked up? That was in the mid-eighties, and to this day I've only met like one other person whose parents did that, haven't ever met a M/F couple of my generation who did that, and definitely haven't ever seen it in media. It's weirdly isolating to never see representation of this one little thing. What the fuck is up with that? Is this one bit of patriarchy just THAT pervasive that the idea of just choosing whichever name works best for the couple is just unthinkable?

Right, so, I was talking about Leverage. Now I'm not saying Nate would ever in a million years be the one to SUGGEST it. And it would definitely take some arguing to come around to it. But I think in the end he'd acknowledge how awesome it would be to throw away the patriarchal demand to uphold a family tree he's trying to break away from, and instead take a completely fictitious name that became, through love, his wife's real name. I think it would be in the true spirit of building a found crime family based on what matters to them, their relationships to each other, and not having to do things the way they've been told they should.

Also I think they should force Sterling to officiate and have to be the one to stand up and say "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Devereaux."

btw if you DO know of media where this happens or if you or someone you know has done it, I would love to hear if you're willing to share :)

[mysticalgardensandwich]

FEM ALIGNED PLEASE DNI!!

Promt: you (m/n) get home from school and because price adopted you when you get home it's at the base. One day school was just not it for you so you came home pissed and the team comforts you

M/n pov

I was about ready to generally kill someone, people and teachers all day have been yelling at me and looking at me weird, I have no fucking idea why but they are and it's annoying. I sit down on my bus not wanting anyone from the team pick me up today "hey you!" I sigh and turn to the group of people behind me "what" I don't want to talk to anymore people than I already have to so finding out what these people want will hopefully make them the last people I need to speak to. "Is it true that you got adopted by a military team?" Confused I nodded "yeah the captain was allowed to legally adopt me" they all started to giggle and laugh, rolling my eyes I turned back around and watched as the bus drove by place by place "are you sure they won't use you as an experiment, stupid lab rat, how did they even find you" I stayed quite and looking at them at all. It was finally my stop about a few minutes away from the actual base "go have fun doing tests LAB RAT!" I started walking kicking a rock as I don't not bothered to look up at all.

When I get to base the first person to greet me like normal is Ghost, or as I call him Si because well, we are close, duh wtf, anyways. I look and ghost and I think he can tell im not in a good mood, this was proven even more as I bumped into him not bothered to even apologize or help him up because he didn't expect it from me he ended up falling. I was walking to my room any recruits that was by me moved out the way.

Ghost pov

I didn't expect to be pushed into the ground today but I guess I should have been because m/n just stormed off "what's wrong with the lad?" I dusted my pants and turned back to soap who had asked the question "I don't know. Definitely something with school though" suddenly a newer recruit came up to us in a slight panic "Is l/n ok?? He's crying in his room and-" (btw l/n means last name if you didnt know💀) I felt worry bubble up inside worried for what he might have done to himself by now or what had happened while at school

Nobody pov

"we will go check on him" Soap and Ghost both shared a look before they went to go get Gaz and Price to check up on you, they all got to your room to hear you break something that sounded like glass so price's fatherly instincts kicked in and he opened the door and went to make sure you are ok but when he got close and you backed away teary eyed it made him pause "it's ok, can I make sure you didn't hurt yourself?" You shook your head and grabbed the closest item to you which was a a hard cover book "don't get close. Get out. Leave me alone." The hurt look in all of their eyes was unreal, price shook his head "we cant leave you alone. Your throwing stuff and you might get seriously hurt" you started to cry even more "m/n please. We can help with whatever feelings you might have right now" you continued to not let them near you.

"JUST GET OUT. I'M NOT YOUR LAB RAT. GET. OUT. I WON'T LET YOU NEAR ME, YOUR JUST GOING TO USE ME FOR EXPERIMENTING" you threw the book and started to scream at them all to get out. So they listened for once and stepped out the room in shock by what you had said "does he..... Does he think we are using him as an experiment.... Oh god.... What did-" they all sat outside your room listening to you cry and mumble stuff they couldn't make out into sentences, finally your door slowly started to open a bit and there was a hushed whisper "um...hey pa...can you... Can um... Help me... I cut my hand on the pot I broke....if you don't that's fine it's just.... It hur-" price instantly opened his pocket and came towards your door "of course I'll help you buddy, that's what I'm here for isn't it? To help people. Especially my son" slowly the door fully opened and you showed price the cut on the palm of your hand and he took the bandages along with some alcohol wipes "it's going to burn" he then started to clean it while you sucked in a breath from the pain "and there we go. It should be good in a few days maybe a week or so" you nodded and looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry.. For.. My lash out... If you want to make me clean around the base or help clean up after practice and stuff I will....i'd understand if you even wanted to ma-" there was a little bit of laughter and you look at them confused "you did nothing wrong and I won't make you clean up anywhere. Other than your room. But you were simply trying to deal with emotions which is difficult when you are young. We weren't and aren't mad at all. We were just worried about you" he opened his arms and you hugged him tightly tears spilling over again

(Time skip to dinner time)

You were allowed to have your phone out during dinner sometimes and because of what had happened a few hours ago they let you have it out while eating, you were clearly texting a very long and thought out text to whom the team had no idea who "not to introduce bud but who are you texting? That's a long time you've been texting and you haven't stopped" you stopped and looked up confused "oh my friend who lives in Florida" (idk my bff lives there so I'm baseing it off of that 😭😭 btw I have no idea if the base is in the US or in the UK bc yk.....ghost price and gaz and British.. So.... Don't murder me😭) they all were happy you have someone other than them to talk to but they were also confused on what was so important or interesting to type that long "aboutttt.... What exactly..." You looked at your phone typeing a few things before pressing send then turning your phone towards them Ghost taking it carefully "it's long so while you read that I'mma finish eating" they all nodded and surrounded Ghost to read the conversation

(Blue crayon eater is your bff btw and u/n is your username)

🌈blue crayon eater🌈: hey how have you been?

U/n: not that good to be honest, eating dinner rn but they let me have my phone so here I am

🌈Blue crayon eater🌈: you wanna vent to me about it?

U/n: as long as it's ok with you then yeah that would be nice

🌈Blue crayon eater🌈: ofc you can talk to me, send as long of a text as your want and I'll still read it

U/n: thanks dude, give me a bit I'm going to type a bunch now 💀

🌈blue crayon eater🌈: ok 👍

U/n: so today on the bus a group of kids asked me if it was true that I was adopted by Price and the team and when I told them that I was they all laughed and called me a lab rat and it hate me feel fucking terrible but I also know that they don't know about how my parents literally left me in the middle of a building that they knew damn well was going to be attacked and that if it wasn't for Soap finding me while making sure all enemy's were gone and taking me out of that shit hole before it got blown up. To make matters even worse this practically destroyed my confidence to ask the team and Laswell If they would even show for bring a hero to lunch but now I feel like they are to busy or wouldn't care to show up for me, I just wish that kids werent such shit and that the team isn't mad at me for getting angry

🌈Blues crayon eater🌈: Maybe talk to them about it? I'm sure that they would make sure that they can show up for it, they love you and if they didn't love you then they wouldn't have saved you or comforted you when they broke down today

You were looking at you food not bothering to look up at the team scared of what they would say "I can ask Laswell if we are free tomorrow, we should be because from what I remember we have nothing going on" you nodded still not looking up "and we were never mad at you, also if would would like we can talk to the school about those kids" you smiled and nodded looking up at them now "thank you guys, I love you so much" you got your phone back and said thanks to you friend then told them you were going to finish eating.

(Time skip to the lunch thingy)

You were in your science class when the teacher got a call and obviously had to pick up the phone, what confused you was when it was the office calling you down so you get a pass leave your stuff and start walking to the office to see what they need from you or who's here for you. What you didn't expect was the team (still in gear and looking absolutely terrifying) and Laswell "what are you guys doing here? Don't you have work or something of the sorts?" Laswell shook her head "nope, I cleared our schedule for today and now we're are going to be here for lunch with you and we told the office about the kids and they said it's fine for us to be in the back of classes to make sure nobody trys anything" you smiled and hugged her "thank you so much"

When it came time for lunch the team had brought you your favorite food so you all sat at your normal lunch table ignoreing all the looks and the people talking "did you all purposely show up in gear or??" They all smiled and shook their heads "laswell honestly just told us to get into the car and that we are going to be at your school" you laugh and continue to eat. Everyone decided it would be nice to go outside and walk around chatting and enjoying the company, this was until the same kids that had called you a lab rat had seen you with the team and walked up to you all laughing making to uncomfortable and your mood change which the team took notice of instantly "hey m/n are these the people you mentioned?" You nod slightly "nice to meet you I'm a friend of his" you feel Simon get closer to you by the look on the groups faces "wow you mask is so cool! Why do you wear it? Insecu-" "you shouldn't ask that...its private and personal information you-" you were cut off by a slap to the face "nobody was talking to you Faggot" (I'M GAY I CAN SAY THIS BTW DON'T GET MAD!!) your eyes went wide as you felt the burning hot flesh, suddenly you we pulled back and behind the team laswell making sure you were ok "don't you ever, and I mean EVER lay a single finger on my son" you had tears in your eyes and your legs felt weak making you fall to the ground laswell making sure you didn't fall to hard "hey, hey, m/n are you alright?" You saw one of the teachers start to walk over to you and price looked at her "what happened here?" Prince looked at the kid and then back at the teacher "this kid hit my son and called him a slur in a hurtful way, this kid and his friend group has also called my son a lab rat just because he was adopted by a military team" the teacher yelled at the kid and their group making them go to the principles office.

Meanwhile laswell was still trying to calm you down, the team turned and saw your current state and all went to comfort you "hey hey, m/n, breathe, take deep breaths" Price started to do breathing exercises while everyone else whispered quite encouraging words.

I GAVE UP AT THE END I RAN OUTTA IDEAS 😭🙏🙏. I ALSO DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO BE THIS LONG BRUH. anways-

[acidtouch11]

"CLIT AND NIPPLE TWIST TIT SUCKERS" Toy Review pt. 1

So I splurged a little bit and bought like four different toys last week. They all arrived yesterday and I was able to try most of them out last night. Here I am going to be giving my thoughts as I use them. I will review them once I feel like I can give an accurate review.

Up first we have the BLUSH TEMPTASIA CLIT AND NIPPLE TWIST TIT SUCKERS, SET OF 3.

So for the longest time I have been wanting a clit pump. But online all the cheap(er) toys I found had really poor reviews. Always talking about suction being poor or breakage. I found these as I was buying the G SQUEEZE™ pussy plug. Which I will review at a later date ; )

To use the suckers, just apply a little bit of lube to the clit and/or nipples with the twist practically to the base. Hold it there with a little bit of pressure and twist (righty tighty, lefty loosey). The suction will be strong enough to hold it in place after you've tightened it about 1/4-1/3 of the way. How far you twist is going to be dependent on what you want to experience. Personally, I enjoy twisting it most of the way because the pressure is exquisite. Because the suction is solid, you can't just pull them off, you have to twist the opposite direction to lighten the pressure enough to release it. (All suckers are the same size btw. There's not different sizes for clit versus nipples).

So far, after a few uses, I am very pleased. At the time of writing this, I haven't had any trouble with suction. I can twist as tight as I want and it hasn't come off. Because of testosterone, my clit has grown enough that it fits very well in the little tube and it's really erotic watching my tdick fill the little sucker.

I enjoy both the feeling of having my tdick in the sucker as well as the sensitivity after taking it off. My clit was sooo swollen after I took it off, it was hard as a rock and fucking massive. Personally, I'm a big fan of tightening it just enough to keep it in place and then leaving it for a little bit. Moving around while wearing it makes it bob and tug (which feels really good) but also, for my transmasc friends, it almost simulates what having a penis tugging on your pelvis feels like.

Since I haven't even had it for a full 24 hours I don't know if there is an upper limit on how long I should keep it on for, so that's something to be aware of.

Overall, I am very happy with this purchase. Especially for the price point of $20. I will definitely be getting a lot of milage out of these. (I may or may not be using one right now). Another thing to note is that there are three of them and they are all identical. So if in the future one breaks or stops working, you have two others to do as you please with.

I'd definitely recommend these if you've been looking for a clit pump but don't want to shell out for a full on suction machine!

[hibanaebi]

The Rainbow in Rainbow 6 Siege

These are my personal headcanons for all of them <3. Most are just based on feel so... there won't be much elaboration or reasoning

Starting with the attackers...

Sledge- Bi/Pan.

Thatcher- Omni? I mean, Thermtcher, but i feel like otherwise he's straight.

Ash- Aromantic lesbian. Didn't get into the Lesbian post bc I hate (most) Ash mains.

Thermite- Gay/Bi. I definitely ship Thermtcher, more because I find it funny than anything else.

Montange- Straight.

Twitch- Not sure? Like, I don't get Aro or Ace vibes from her, I'm not sure she'd be a lesbian, and I'm not sure she'd be straight, either. Maybe Demi...

Blitz- Heteroromantic Asexual. Sex-repulsed btw. Has a wifey who's the same :]

IQ- Lesbian, possibly aromantic.

Fuze- Omni, preferring women.

Glaz- Aro/Ace.

Buck- Straight, and boring about it.

Blackbeard- Either gay or a raging homophobe. Could be both.

Capitao- Straight. Maybe Ace.

Hibana- 100% in a lesbian relationship with Dokkaebi.

Jackal- Pan. Maybe just Gay.

Ying- Lesbian.

Zofia- ughhhhh i don't knowwww and i (kinda) main herrrrrrr....... good chance of being Aro/Ace, but.... also kinda lesbiannnn.....

Dokkaebi- We've been here. She's in love with Hibana and very lesbian about it.

Finka- Lesbian. all the girls are gay i guess

Lion- Pan. VERY Pan.

Maverick- Pan. Not very outgoing, though.

Nomad- Aro/Ace. She's tried it all, though.

Gridlock- Probably a butch lesbian, possibly straight.

Nokk- Lesbian, see the special post.

Kali- Aromantic, asexual-ish, but... like, has sex just to prove she's good at it? Probably with Ash. Probably not asexual when it comes to Ash. Might not even be aro when it comes to her. It's also a bit toxic.

Iana- I'm just calling all the girls lesbians, aren't I? Huh. Well, Lesbian.

Ace- Aromantic, pansexual. Kinda in the vein of Kali, havng sex to prove he's good, and then bouncing.

Zero- Old. [laugh track] Probably just Aro/Ace, or just never had/has time.

Flores- Straight, but in a gay way. Maybe bi.

Osa- Lesbian. (Also a trans QUEEN)

Sens- Super chill Aro/Ace (and a nonbinary LEGEND)

Grim- Aro/Ace, which surprises all his teammates, who think he's gay. Might actually be gay.

Brava- Straight, maybe Aro/Ace.

Ram- Sad lesbian who's girlfriend died poor baby :(

Deimos- Aro/Ace. Once got hit on and was like WOAH, WHAT THE HELL

Striker- Lesbian. Maybe Bi.

NOW, the defenders!

Mute- Aro/Ace.

Smoke- Straight/Ace.

Castle- Gay, perhaps.

Pulse- Gay, most certainly.

Doc- Gay.

Rook- So Aro/Ace that it gives him an extra 20 hp and the ability to revive himself.

Jager- AUTISTIC KING. Straight demisexual.

Bandit- Aromantic and gay. Isn't super active though.

Tachanka- Straight.

Kapkan- NOBODY KNOWS (he's just straight)

Frost- Lumberjack lesbian.

Valkyrie- Straight. Had a "lesbian experience" once, got incredibly flustered about it, and refuses to accept that she's Bi, or maybe even just lesbian.

Caviera- Straight. A little aro, too.

Echo- Ok, so, canoncially, he's super straight. BUT. No. Gay.

Mira- Aro/Ace. Is super annoyed by Hibana and Dokkaebi.

Lesion- Gay.

Ela- Aromantic omnisexual, preferring girls.

Vigil- Aro/Ace.

Alibi- Lesbian, doesn't really form strong, long-lasting romantic attatchment however, but isn't fully aromantic. Might identify as such however.

Maestro- Bi dad. Will call all of your partners cute.

Clash- Straight, mayber aromantic.

Kaid- Mildly Bi, mostly straight.

Mozzie- Straight.

Warden- Pan. Puts his boyfriends AND girlfriends in the finest suits he can. Mildly asexual, but VERY, and I mean VERY aesthetically attracted to people.

Goyo- Bi.

Wamai- Aromantic, heterosexual.

Oryx- Pan.

Melusi- Not particularly interested in a relationship, somewhat lesbian however.

Aruni- my dear lesbian gurllll

Thunderbird- Pan, super butch.

Thorn- I called her a butch lesbian in the lesbian post... but she could also be pan. Or omni (preferring women)

Azami- TOP LESBIANNNNN

Solis- Pan.

Fenrir- Gay.

Tubarao- Pan.

Sentry- Ok bear with me. Bi, but ace, but also.... not. Like asexual, but also super horny. Idk. Kind of a wierd not to end on. I'll definitely be giving him his own fic.

Ok I need to write now byeeee

[linklethehistorian]

Linkle, I must know, what are your thoughts on Mori as a character? His actions and motivations?? Id love to hear your opinion, btw that last chapter of cherish was great!! I loved it so much!!!

Ahhh hello there, anon, thank you so much! 🥺😭💕💖🥰 It’s such an honor to get a message like this from someone who is reading the fic. 💕🥺💖🥰💕🥺💖🥰 I’m so glad you liked Chapter 12; it definitely has one of my own personal favorite scenes, tbh (but I won’t take up your time talking about that right now lol). Having a fan base for Cherish is truly lovely; I’m so blessed by each and every one of you. 🥺💖

As for your question, I’m always happy to share!

Before I say anything at all on my opinion, though, I’m first going to make it clear that I am completely setting aside that one…particular matter that has been discussed to death by the fandom for the moment, because I fear far too many people tend to forget that it is entirely possible to make any remotely positive commentary on a fictional character without that actually somehow meaning you condone his alleged…preferences. For the people in the back that need to hear this out loud to be set at ease: I in absolutely no way do.

Now with that out of the way for a bit, let’s talk about the rest of Mori. I’ll throw it under the cut, though, both for length and for potential spoilers of multiple light novels (Dark Era, Fifteen, Storm Bringer, etc.) and obviously the manga up to his last appearance in current arc. Oh and obviously the typical Mori-related trigger subjects. Yeah.

Honestly, on a general note, these days I think Mori as a character is super cool; I’m not sure where precisely I’d rate him on the list of characters because I honestly like nearly every character in BSD and think they’re pretty awesomely written, but on a general scale of 1 to 10, he’s a very solid 8 or 9 for me.

My first introduction to him was…admittedly not at all the best possible representation of him.

When I first joined the fandom, I began my journey through the series by watching the anime adaption of Dark Era, at the behest of a dear friend who said I would be best off doing so before I watched the rest of the show (of which there were only two seasons at the time) and then reading the manga, in order to get the best and most meaningful experience; it is not something I remotely regret, and in honesty, I would probably wholeheartedly recommend any new people to do the same, if they intended to start with the anime. Regardless, though, this decision did have the impact of making me immediately strongly dislike Mori as a person from the very start, given what he did to the orphans, Oda, and Dazai by extension.

Really, I wouldn’t say that I came to see him in any particular shades of grey motivation-wise until I watched the episode titled Double Black, in which there was the first reference of what would have become of the Port Mafia and Yokohama as a whole had he not usurped the throne to the organization so many years ago.

After that, I began to look at him with a bit more understanding and curiosity, horrible and ruthless though his nature may still mostly have been. Fifteen (specifically the light novel, NOT the anime) — which it should be said, I think is the best existing canon representation of Mori in terms of giving us a good look at his thoughts and motivations — only amplified that outlook and interest for me, and I think it alone is largely to thank for why I enjoy him as a character as much as I do in current time.

Although he’s definitely not someone I’d feel particularly comfortable writing an entire story solely around — as I don’t believe I’m expert nor absurdly passionate enough to do so compared to some genuine Mori fans that I know are out there out there — I nevertheless really, really do enjoy writing him, especially in Cherish (which is only the second time I’ve written him, if I’m honest — at least, in anything I’d consider publishing, anyway).

There’s just so much potential in him plot and personality-wise; he is incredibly flexible of a person in terms of his thoughts, mannerisms, motivations, and actions, which makes it super fun to explore and play around with when telling a story. I’d say he easily has one of the most fun personalities among the BSD ensemble, purely because of utterly unpredictable it can be; on one hand, he has moments where (at least outwardly) is capable of being extremely friendly, outgoing, generous and unassuming, and yet on the other, he is very much always inwardly observant of all that is going on around him and capable of quickly switching to being cold, calculating, and openly cruel at the drop of a hat. But even then, usually, his cruelty doesn’t come in the form of physical violence; it’s often emotional manipulation, intimidation, taking your fears and weaknesses and using them against you to get him whatever he feels he needs in the present moment. Sometimes, it isn’t even outwardly visible that the switch of gears happened; he knows how to poison you in the sweetest and most unassuming yet effective way possible — whether that poison is literal or metaphorical. He’s definitely the kind of person who could sing you to sing to sleep every night and kiss your cheek every morning even as he’s secretly plotting your demise. lol

That being said, I think a lot of the fandom, in their hatred for him as a person, tends to mischaracterize him a lot, rather than looking at it objectively. I’ve seen a lot of fics and general fandom takes that portray him as a sadistic person who is cruel simply for the sake of being cruel and does terrible things to others purely for the enjoyment factor, but that is 100% not who Mori is; canonically, Mori does what he does mostly, if not entirely, out of what he feels is necessity as the leader of the organization. Now, I’m not saying there may not be parts of him that enjoy certain things he does — it’s certainly more than possible, and even highly probable — but his actions as godfather are driven by achieving what he feels is the optimal solution, not by personal pleasure and amusement; as a matter of fact, in Fifteen, he even made it clear when speaking to Chuuya that he fully acknowledges a lot of what he does is morally reprehensible — he just feels that it is his duty to commit these atrocities for the ‘greater good’ of the organization, and that the end therefore justifies the means.

The thing is, there is a character in BSD who is exactly the way this portion of the fandom characterizes Mori, and he was even a member of the Port Mafia, so if people really wanted to canonically explore this dynamic of a character who wholly gets off on tormenting people, causing suffering and probing others’ heads rather than doing it as just a business practice, they absolutely could still do it and be true to canon by writing about said other character; it’s just that it’s not a convenient truth that a lot of the fandom wants or likes to face — because that would mean acknowledging that it was everyone’s beloved Dazai and not the oh-so-despised Mori who used to think in such a sick and twisted way during his days in the criminal underworld.

Granted, some people do write both characters very well and very accurately, and I applaud them, but I do find it frustrating when the fandom reduces either Mori to this purely evil, sadistic villain who is bad just for the sake of being bad, because he is so much more interesting as he truly is in canon.

It’s this dichotomy where his dedication to the overall well-being of his people and company is admirable and even understandable, yet at the same time his individual actions when you look at them from a moral perspective are pretty much all morally reprehensible in some way, shape, or form — if not in every way. The same is true of his time in the army; as a general concept, his desire to protect Japan during the Great War was on the whole admirable and understandable, we know that he was well-meaning about it, but at the same time, no matter how desperate the situation was, what he did to Yosano and his entire army was absolutely disgusting and unacceptable — especially because it came so easily to him to do it and he made no apologies for it nor expressed any guilt over the suffering he caused later on.

Do I think Mori is, on the whole, a good person? Absolutely not. Do I think that he sometimes has the best of intentions in mind with his schemes? In the grander scheme of things, yes; it’s just that he mostly doesn’t care who or how many he has to hurt to achieve that so long as it’s slightly less than his net gain from doing it, which in turn cancels out things enough to prevent him from ever being labeled as being or acting as a “good person” at any moment.

I think the best, most objective description of him is to say that he’s pragmatic and ruthless.

…And then obviously there’s the part that everyone in the fandom discusses to death — about the main universe version of him being into little girls. Not a whole lot to say about that; it’s gross, it’s wrong, it’s unforgivable, it’s morally reprehensible, and it’s chilling and disturbing and it definitely completely disqualifies him from being labeled a good person even if he had been able to earn that title from something he did somewhere along the way.

That being said — and I know this is probably going to be controversial to a lot of the fandom, so let me say upfront that I’m not saying that that isn’t 100% a valid and understandable reading of who he is and the way he feels based on all the evidence throughout the series, nor am I trying to convince anyone otherwise — purely because it is fiction and therefore all made up to begin with, at least for my own personal comfort, I typically choose in my own personal readings to just look at him as someone with a particular weakness for little girls because he’s fatherly — although I make no effort to claim that to be the objective truth, nor does such interpretation affect or influence any of my writings in any way; it’s simply the way I prefer to engage with BSD on my own personal time — outside of my writings.

As a matter of fact, in my one fic, Bittersweet Belief, he was intentionally written with the intention of being portrayed as a groomer, and in Cherish, his ‘tastes’ will be portrayed no less nor more suspicious than how they are in canon, and therefore it will never be fully, directly addressed, but may be interpreted however you wish.

I do not need people coming to me providing evidence of why they believe there is no way to look at it differently, as again, I am not arguing that it is objectively untrue in any way that Mori is written to be a pedo in BSD, and when in public spaces among other people talking about it I don’t even try to say otherwise, much less convince anyone of it. I understand fandom etiquette and I am not trying to erase anything about him from others’ perceptions in order to make him more “likable”. I am just engaging with BSD, whenever I am personally reading it and watching it, in the way that is more comfortable for me. Nothing more, nothing less.

Anyway, yeah, Mori’s a super fun character to write and observe in the BSD world! I think there’s a lot of depth to him and he’s very well-written — probably among my top past antagonists purely for the super interesting personality and the purely pragmatic outlook to life and business.

[meraxes-of-new-albion]

What's it like being a zookeeper? What's your day like, and how'd you get into that?

Hi!

It's both really cool and really frustrating lol.

For context this is US, AZA based zoos; if you're elsewhere I have no idea whether the path that works here works elsewhere.

This got long so readmore.

I don't want to paint this career with rose tinted glasses. It's a passion career, and like all passion careers, you will be overworked, underpaid, and probably surrounded by reasonably privileged white people who can afford the overworked + underpaid. (I am absolutely no exception to this rule, btw.)

That said, a couple weeks ago I got to pet a Canada lynx. I've fed peanut butter to wolves, watched a secretary bird hunt, bonded with a Harris hawk, and made best friends with a plush-crested jay. You get the *coolest* stories, and it helps make the crappy parts of the job feel worthwhile; it's hard to resent your life when you're feeding bananas to a moose.

As far as career path goes, I'm still early in mine, but generally from talking to people, this is how it goes for most people: they go to a 4 year college/university for a degree in biology or something related -> they do at least one (unpaid :/) internship during college to get experience -> they work seasonally/part time at a zoo (generally several zoos, generally moving across the country multiple times)(this is where I'm at in my career) -> they get a full time, benefitted gig somewhere, and either work until a spot at a zoo they'd rather be at opens up, or they live the rest of their career there.

I'd like to stress this isn't the *only* career path - a lot of my coworkers here were dog trainers or what have you beforehand, a different coworker at a different zoo moved from guest services into a seasonal role and got hired on full time from there - but it is by far the most common one. This is also the reason we're pretty much all privileged white people - if you don't have family/friends who can subsidize three months worth of work that you don't get paid for, often you're a bit SOL. This is, very slowly, changing, apparently the MIlkwaukee zoo pays their interns for example, but it's still few and far between, and a very competitive field.

As far as my day to day goes, that changes a lot from zoo to zoo and even job to job - I'm a relief keeper here, so my day changes drastically based on which route I'm covering. At my previous zoo, I worked in their bird department, so my days were a bit more predictable; that was also a much bigger zoo so things like diet prep were handled by a completely different department rather than every route doing their own diets, or one person doing all of them every day. it's definitely worth investigating which kinds of animals you'd like to work with, and asking people who work with those specifically, if you can. For example, occasionally I serve as our second person to work the big cats - we have a two lock system so you can't accidentally let the lions out if you're cleaning in their yard, kind of thing. And I love our lions, and our snow leopards, but also... they're enormous, and terrifying, and sometimes uncooperative as anything. They're cool! But not an animal I'd want to work with every day.

General pros and cons:

Cons:

Pay :/ the mcdonalds I drive past every day would pay me a solid $3 more an hour. And probably give me paid time off.

You will work weekends and holidays. I've worked every holiday for the last two years.

Culture - so here's the thing. Zookeepers, as a group, are people who went individually in their lives "Hey i really suck at people skills. I know! I'll work with animals instead!" and then you put all of them together in the same room with animals they're emotionally invested in. Petty office drama, toxic management, and other such problems are common. We skew leftist and queer but that doesn't mean we have conflict resolution skills.

You are very, very, very likely to end up moving states at least once in your career.

pros:

No two days are ever the same. there's always something new to learn, some new problem to solve, something you all have to pull together and help with. Whether that be relocating an alligator, unloading a frozen meat delivery, a news crew hanging around, or something else, there's always something to change up the day.

The work you're doing never feels like a perpetual motion machine - it always has meaning to it. Everything you do benefits an animal you probably know personally, by name. You get to share those stories, those individuals, with the visitors who stop and ask; if you're lucky, they might go home and learn more about those animals. We all thrive by the concept of "You protect what you care about; you care about what you know; you know about what you are taught". Did I know kori bustards existed before I worked with them? no. Do I care now, and I'm glad to know they're no longer poached for fly fishing bait thanks to (i think) CITES in the 80s and 90s? You bet I do they're wonderful animals.

Your life, the everyday mundanity of it, becomes something that other people will always consider you the most interesting person in the room for. I don't get to work with said lynx very often anymore, due to staffing changes and whatnot, but every morning like clockwork Carson would meet you at the fence and follow you right along it to the den, because he knew you had his breakfast. It felt mundane, after a while, but it's always worth the moment of acknowledging "wow I actually get to hang out with some lynx today. That's pretty cool."

Hopefully this actually answers your question lol. It's not something I'd trade for anything, but I don't want to paint it as a world full of snuggling wolf puppies and rainbows and sunshine, because it's not that, either. It's sometimes grueling, frustrating, bitter work, full of frustrations about budgets and supplies and not having enough hours in the day. But then you go and you hang out with the giraffes for a couple minutes, and that in itself is wonderfully grounding.

so yeah. Hope this helps!

[nalyra-dreaming]

That anon about the Muslim beheading the American girl is an evidence of how much this fandom is deluded about Armand. They believe he's a saint that never did nothing wrong lol. They think, with Armand, they're only getting romance in Paris, tender love and Vespas lol

The writers definitely choose his religion based on that passage from the books. And I hope they're keeping that Armand's Frankenstein moment, of course, within the context. Why take it from us?

Hey nonny!

Ok, first of all (and I know I answered the other ask without that detail but) we need to be careful not to conflate Muslim and beheading. I meant to just point out that the show likely won’t pull its punches earlier, and @shitzngiggles77 rightfully pointed out that equating these things is just… wrong. I mean, to just offer one different angle - just look at the French Revolution.

(Which… will be happening in the show when Lestat is turned and which will offer… parallels btw (and Lestat talks about the executions in TVL, but that might be a wholly different topic.))

Secondly: It should be remembered that while Armand is Armand is Armand (and romance and cute Vespas notwithstanding)… his intention for that action was a different one than an execution. And had nothing to do with his religion or belief system at the time, whatever that may have been then. It wasn’t a beheading per se, even though her head came off.

As misguided as it may have been, and as muddled in his intentions, he tried to give Claudia an adult body. (And didn’t give a damn about the other vampire he killed for it.)

Now, whether that would have changed anything? I do not know. It reads a bit like an experiment for him, though it does seem to hurt him to think or talk about it. And he lets her go into the sun after, mutilated and in pain. Into a horrific death.

So there’s that.

Maybe there will be a bit of romance in Paris… PRIOR to all that. IF they really go there. Given this is a gothic horror show, and this is Armand… it is likely they do.

I do also hope that they keep it. I’ve said it before, there’s… things to come. For some, those might be harsh to stomach, yes.

I personally hope they don’t shy away from anything.

Last but not least - I do NOT think that this passage is why they chose Armand to be a Muslim. Because even if you would equate these things (and I object here), that is actually not what he's trying to do.

Knowing he came from Ukraine and that this area was heavily contested during his abduction though (others have written more and better about it) offers interesting parallels for the cult he is forced into. Forced change of beliefs. Etc. THAT is imho why they set him up as he is in the show.

[snakegills]

your mind amazes me i need your top book recommendations. any amount u could throw 5 books or 20 books at me right now id probably find time for all of them

Ah thank you so much! Here's a quick list of books i mostly read this year absolutely love in no particular order for you! Under the readmore bcs it's quite a bit

- repo virtual by Corey j white

One of the best books I've read all year. A cyberpunk sort of story that follows a few different characters, the first one being a repo man in a virtual game that the entire world plays. More stuff goes down and we are introduced to an amazing cast of characters. Honestly just a beautiful read and I super recommend it for anyone.

- The first 4 halo books (fall of reach, the flood, first strike, ghosts of onyx) genuinely they are incredible for many reasons but I personally love the description of battles. You do not need to have played the games beforehand BTW! In fact it's a much better book without having played the games

- the locked tomb series

Genuinely very good. I avoided reading them for a while, but they are actually as good as people say! The author very much has the vibes of a fanfic author but in a good way yknow? Also women are treated like actual characters. Love that.

- even though I knew the end by c.l polk:

Set in the 30s? Or so? Kind of a detective thing with angels and demons and a woman trying to solve a string of murders to save her soul. A Short read (4hr audiobook) but it honestly got me to finally understand the appeal of noir and detective stuff

- challenger deep by Neal Shusterman

This book is about a teenager dealing with his sudden development of schizophrenia and how it changes his life. Its based on the authors son and the personal experience makes this book incredibly heartfelt and compelling. Also the fact that Neal shusterman has written books I've loved since I was 10 helps

- some desperate glory by Emily tesh

Very interesting read from the pov of a very brainwashed girl in a cult made of the last remaining humans still fighting the war on aliens that destroyed earth. It really sucks you in with the world building and plot! I really love the main character she's the solid snake of lesbians and I need her like carnally.

Interview with the vampire + the vampire lestat by Anne rice

If you like vampires and are okay with things getting a little dark (the concept of a vampire child and everything that comes with it. And incest in the second book) these books are really good! The language she uses is incredible and very Gothic. I tried to read the third book and super hated it but it's not like it was bad I guess

- Carmilla by sheridan le fanu

One of the first vampire novels to be published in Europe! A very interesting read, especially if you have had a life long love of vampire stories. Definitely recommend it over Dracula.

- song of achilles

A great read if you're into Greek legends, especially Achilles and Patroclus. Read it in high-school and it's stuck with me ever since. One of the most compelling love stories of the human race in my eyes.

- Wolf in white van by John darnielle

So im a huge fan of the mountain goats so of course I read all of John's books BUT this one? This one is the best. The way the story is told is just inspirational. He truly writes books that are the journey not the destination. I highly recommend this particular book, but his other works (Devil House and Universal Harvester) are good too. If you are gonna read all three save wolf in white van for the last, it is the best.

- this is how you lose the time war by amel el-mohtar

Everything you've heard about this book is wrong. It is better than what you've heard. Ignore all the Trigun fans that say this book is vashwood it is BETTER than that. A love story between two woman that transcends time and space and just ugh... ugh. Its good.

-in the mountains of madness by hp Lovecraft

If you read only one thing by Lovecraft make it this one. Its his best work. Reads almost like a tale you'd tell around a campfire. )If you liked this one and want to read more i personally recommend the case of Charles dexter ward)

And finally I'm leaving off with a few rapid fire suggestions

- enders game by orson scott card (only enders game do not read anymore you will hate the rest)

- I have no mouth and I must scream, harlan Ellison compilation works

- mister b gone by Clive baker

- jurassic park

-1984 + animal farm

- do androids dream of eletric sheep?

- we have always lived in a castle

- camp damascus by Chuck tingle

- cats cradle by Kurt vonnegut

- the outsiders

- lord of the flies

Anyway I love to read and I've read A Lot of books so if you want a better description of Amy of these or to talk about them I'm always down.

[georgeinamerc]

Libra Sun

Scorpio Moon

Capricorn Rising

Hi my love!! I want to preface this by saying that this is based on stuff that i have read and have noticed! If these don't apply to you im sorry😭 thank you so so much for sending this in, it's so fun for me <3

okayyy... I might have said i will judge, but come on you're a libraa! i love air signs<33 First of all, i have say you guys have such an alluring aura and give off such good vibes! Like libras are famous for their charm (and for being very effortlessly and casually flirty!). I would say u also love compliments when u receive them, it's sth that definitely stays w you! and (from personal experience as well) you are a sign that gives so much in relationships, whether that's romantic, platonic, it doesn't matter. Also it's so impressive to me how well u manage to understand others when they share problems, concerns etc- you really put yourself in the other person's shoes and that's why you're also someone people usually gravitate towards when they want someone to listen! As i mentioned, one of my bsfs is a libra and she's studying psychology! Even in arguments they'll be the person who will see and understand both sides but still firmly stand their ground when it comes to their opinions! I believe that a lot of times libras tend to need a bit of extra work regarding self confidence bc i feel like you downplay your achievements, which is so unfair btw!! I would say give yourself more credit for all your hard work<33 people around you appreciate you sm for who you are -and maybe let them give back to you more for all you give as well!

Now rising has to do a lot w how you appear to others! omggg i met this girl last week who's a cap rising, and i have to say y'all are so cool to the point where i don't even know how to come up and talk to you! Maybe a bit quiet at first, but then you feel comfortable around someone and it's like you've known each other for yearss! Capricorns, being an earth sign, tend to be very goal oriented, hard working and smarttt but also dare i say overthinkers as well? I just know you guys know lots of things (maybe about random topics but the moment they come up you sound the smartest in the room) and i could listen to u talk for hours! The most beautiful eyes and smile too i have to say<3 i will have to repeat tho! give yourself more credit love💗💗

FELLOW SCORPIO MOONNNN i love sharing this placement w people bc we bond over trauma basically! i want to give u a hug through the screen hahah this is so random and completely based on my opinion but i feel like you look amazing in black! scorpio moons pull it off the best i swear… also- (im sorry) you tend to bottle your emotions or invalidate them/ feel like you're being too much in situations, so u may decide u shouldn't voice how u feel! like even when you're going through very hard times you will do your best to hide it (cap rising works harddd) and then let it all out once you're alone! i see that a lot in myself too tbh, but it's important to express yourself always! for example, you don't have to have an "objectively good reason to be mad" to just be mad if that makes sense! if someone tells you u "shouldn't be feeling like this" they're just shit people honestly!! also you may be struggling w vulnerability in relationships (platonic/romantic). my advice (which i need to hear myself haha) is to let yourself be a bit more vulnerable one step at a time! and obv do it only when you're w someone that makes you feel heard! also maybee try and make your standards around things more realistic? it's hard af i knoww but you'll save yourself the disappointment of some things! also rejection scares us… like a lot….

[tiny-katara]

hey - in response to your recent post :) i'm that bloodbending meme post anon btw - and as a queer woc, i personally don't feel uncomfortable with zutara so i don't relate to those people. however, their feelings - and yours - are valid. you are not hurting anyone afaik, and if kat**ngers are offended that a kat**ng scene made you uncomfortable (me too sis) that's their problem. you don't have to apologize for your feelings. as i say, ship and let ship (unless ofc the ship is creepy) but (1/2)

omg hi again! you can just introduce yourself as my favorite anon at this point. i'll know who it is haha <3

it is really relieving to hear you say that! i would never want to speak for/over woc or queer folk (in june no less!!!). there have been so many wonderful people reaching out to me within the last little while and i truly appreciate it!

something i have noticed in the zuatara community is that a lot of us (but not all!) relate to katara and we find an equal partner for her in zuko-- something a lot of us don't feel a*ng provides based on our experiences with men (boys really) who remind of what a*ng became. it's quite insulting that antis will turn this into us having the desire to "fuck zuko" since that's not at all what it's about! there are definitely some that do, but generalizing the entire community like that is a bit shortsighted and tbh i think it says more about them than us.

"ship and let ship" is a very wise perspective. i think we could all use that saying, so thank you! <3

[emiliasilverova]

Putting the “Silver” in “Silverova”

(Or: a long post about my main Bondverse OC)

I was rewatching bits of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last night—the version with Daniel Craig, that is. Mostly it was to confront the “trauma” (with big quotes; I should probably say “utter discomfort” instead) that this movie induced on me all those years ago. What I didn’t expect was to find out that, in fact, said movie influenced my writing, my themes, my characters a lot more than I thought. Subconsciously, though.

…

Alright. I need to talk about Silver.

Name: Kaiko Morikawa

Date of birth: January 3rd, 1988 [28 years old in-verse]

Place of birth: Kyoto, Japan

Nationality: Japanese and French

Localities frequented: Formerly based in Saint Petersburg, Russia. Recently spotted in: Miami, Florida; Tangier, Morocco; Baku, Azerbaijan.

Occupation: freelance mercenary; assassin for the Janus Syndicate (formerly)

Physical description: Height 5 ft. 9 in (175 cm). Slim and toned, gender-neutral appearance. Complexion, light. Eyes, hazel. Hair black in a ponytail. Thin, oval face. Eurasian features. Right-handed.

Distinguishing marks: a silver-hued prosthetic left eye; a trepanation scar on her scalp, masked by her ponytail; marks of a removed tattoo on her left wrist.

Orientation: demisexual; demi- or aromantic

Extracts from MI6 file: Unclear relationship with the head of the Janus Syndicate. Intel gathered from Russian informants suggests that she climbed up all levels of the Syndicate’s hierarchy in the span of a few years, from errand girl all the way to one of Janus’ personal enforcers. However, according to 007's report, it appears that she broke away from her employer and is actively conspiring to eliminate him. The event triggering her defection, if she did defect, is unknown.

On a similar note, the way she came to Saint Petersburg from Kyoto also remains largely unexplained. According to Japanese records, the Morikawa family was brutally murdered by a local yakuza gang in 2005. The daughter—Kaiko Morikawa—has been missing ever since.

[…]

Mistrustful nature, prone to sarcasm to mask insecurity and anxiety. Has been observed to lash out in violence under stressful conditions, likely driven by an history of trauma. Rather quiet, introverted personality otherwise.

Uses switchblade knives as a weapon of choice, but has been trained to operate all kinds of Soviet/Russian weaponry (as can be expected from a Janus Syndicate operative).

***

So this is Silver. I call her that, by the way, because when I created her 15 years ago she was “SilverEye”—a female twist on GoldenEye, not the movie or satellite, but the main character of the obscure videogame GoldenEye Rogue Agent. I’ll try to steer away from that character and game here, otherwise I would digress in yet another rant. All you need to know is, they explain why she literally has a silver eye.

Silver is an extremely important character for me. Just as important as Alec/Janus, and that means a lot—those who know me (or who've just seen my Tumblr posts so far) surely can tell. But there’s the problem: Silver is an OC. That means I can’t quite talk about her as freely as about a canon character such as Alec. Because people either are not interested in, or outright frown at, OCs. Because that means having to explain her whole story, as it definitely isn’t included in the canon everyone knows. Oh, I tried to do that. 9 years of work, 90K+ words total, a monster of a longfic that I can’t write anymore because of all the retcons I would need to steer it in a satisfactory direction. This, people, is Missing Connection. The zone between fanfic and original fiction is a very weird one, I can tell you that much.

Yet, despite my writing hardships, I don’t want to stop talking about Silver. Her type of character is one I don’t feel I’ve seen often, especially in this fandom. Sure, Lisbeth Salander’s awful experiences influenced hers more than I ever expected (can't say too much about that btw, I'm trying to avoid spoilers on Missing Connection), as I found out last night. She draws from female characters like O-Ren Ishii, Beatrix Kiddo, the Major Kusanagi, Private Vasquez or Ellen Ripley, but also from male ones like Sonny Crockett, Dalton!Bond or Alec himself. Hell, when I read the Bond novels, sometimes she and book!Bond have the exact same kind of reactions or internal monologue.

But perhaps the most unusual thing about her is her gender identity/sexual orientation. She’s a cis woman, but she doesn’t give a damn about traditional femininity. It just doesn’t appeal to her, hence her gender-neutral presentation. She’s attracted to very few people not because of all the crap she went through in her life, but because that’s the way she rolls. She doesn’t fall in love, she thrives in (very trusted) friends with benefits relationships. And I’m not going to lie—I feel represented by her in that regard.

That being said, I could be wrong on her being uncommon. At the end of the day, I’m an isolated person who’s barely scratched topics like sexual orientation or gender identity. I also haven’t even read that many Bond fics. But still, no matter what, I want to keep Silver alive in one way or another. I want to keep exploring her identity, her 1980s aesthetics, her twisted relationship with Alec, her grey morality, her outsider’s point of view on the Bond universe, her struggle to keep her sanity among a bunch of insane canon characters… and so many other things. But what I also want is not to be doing that just for me. The lack of interaction has plagued me ever since I started writing, and I’m sick of it.

Lately, in the remix I penned of an MI6-centric fic, she appeared as 0011. That’s an alternate version of her of course, because there’s no way the actual Silver could be hired as a 00 agent. I’m not sure this is what I want to do with her in the long term, but at least that could be a good way to make her known by more people. As is this post. So, to you who have come so far into this: do you want to hear more about Silver in the future? If so, in what way/form? I’m genuinely curious to see your answers.

[ladyartemesia]

Fic recs for taehyung? I love your stuff btw I’ve read them all uwu

As a beacon of extra-ness in an already extra world, I am entirely incapable of just recommending fics like a normal blog. No. I’ve got to wax on like a bloomin connoisseur. I have compiled some (but not all) of my favorite works in several different categories and sorted them accordingly. This crazy list is so long I had to add a “keep reading”... but I simply couldn’t bear to leave any of these off the list. They are all so good!

Fics have been divided into 8 categories. Some are under the cut. 

 ▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨  ▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨ ▨ FANTASY ▨ ▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨ ▨ HYBRID and ABO (alpha/omega) ▨ ▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨ ▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨ ▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex) ▨ ▨

▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨

Insomnia by @hobiwonder

This is one of those fics I read and literally could not stop thinking about. It is wildly hot and honestly hilarious. Poor reader cannot sleep and the beautiful bro she’s tutoring offers a rather unconventional solution.

(Ego) Hoe Chronicles: KTH by @suga-kookiemonster

Listen. If you find a niche fan blog devoted entirely to Ego Tae... I’m not gonna say it’s mine. But it’s probably mine. I once told suga-kookiemonster that I would literally read a story about Ego Tae going grocery shopping on a Wednesday night and I stand by that. In this lurid romp, the reader falls into the clutches of everyone’s favorite bohemian sex lord and he rails her into another dimension.

Falling, Falling, Gone by @johobi

Pining (mutual or otherwise) is not really my thing, but I would straight up read Jo’s laundry list if she posted it. As usual I was blown away by how everything she does seems somehow better than any other version of it. This reader is really unique as well, and her relationship with the wildly popular soccer star Tae comes to a sexy and hilarious head at a sort of bachelor auction. With sharp dialogue, delightful subtext, and fantastic side characters, you really shouldn’t miss it. It’s pretty much perfect.

A Friendly Favor by @baeseoul

This is the classic “teach me some sex for another woman” trope and it is done so well. Sweet best friend Tae is looking to benefit from your experience, but his is not the only world about to be thouroughly rocked.

Officer Kim and the Criminal Crush by @ddaengyoonmin

This is one of the best twists on childhood friends to lovers I have ever seen. Tae grows up to become a cop and reader grows up to be a societal menace. I won’t spoil it, but it’s the perfect blend of nostalgia, tenderness, and smut. This fic technically doesn’t have a name so I had to give it one to link it. It’s part of an AMAZING series Zoe did that I also highly recommend.

Out of the Blue by @jimlingss

This is one of those stories that blooms throughout the narrative until you are left with this gorgeous flower at the end. I loved the journey of these two characters. It was real and it perfectly captures the experience of finding your soulmate in the person you least expect.

Sin Pijama by @brilliantlybasicb

This fic is a switch culture fic. It is wild wicked hot and this Tae is unreal. I love the way he lets the reader think she is in control just long enough. It is a wild romp with an adorable sequel and honestly you should read it.

Girls Like You by @jjiminah

I was in jjiminah’s asks IMMEDIATELY about this fic because I had FEELINGS. The reader begins wordlessly teasing and tempting Tae on their morning bus ride every day until he is literally losing his mind. Everything that follows is fire. Jjiminah has hinted she will wrote more for these two and I NEED IT.

Sighs and Sonnets by @btsaudge

This fic is beautiful. Like it’s basically art. This is a bad boy who is bad for you. But he has the soul of a poet and the stroke game of a renaissance master. Bittersweet and seductive, this fic is a full experience.

The Text by @taetaesbaebaepsae

Tae is your friend with benefits but it looks like feeling may have been caught by one or more parties. When you attempt to soothe your aching heart with another pretty boy, Tae decides to stake his claim. This was very sexy. The whole fic was sexy.

▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨

Monster by @neonlights92

Monster and all of its companion series about each of the boys is one of those fics that I reread constantly and also just think about constantly. This is one of the best mafia AUs out there and it’s characters are vivid and unforgettable. Tae’s stubborn resistance to his lovely new wife in contrast with her quiet, clever strength really brings this story to life. A word of warning. The masterlist links are a bit messed up. To read part two you must click on part three. And to read part three must click on part four. The link to part four is at the bottom of part three (or you can just search it on her site. It is definitely all there though).

Dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash

There is a reason the incomparable Shanna is on this list three times. She is truly incomparable. This is childhood friends-to enemies-to spouses and it is wonderful. I adore this Tae. He is sharp and vulnerable and occasionally heavy handed, but truly a gem. This fic also features one of the best angry sex scenes I’ve ever run my eyeballs across.

▨ FANTASY ▨

Chism by @kpopfanfictrash

The world-building in this story is genuinely awe inspiring. You could write series upon series within this vivid universe. The god of Winter is missing and Summer’s heat burns unchecked for many years. The reader is a warrior with a unique ability tasked with guarding a very interesting prisoner. This story is so good. I mean it is really bloomin incredible. It’s hard to say what I liked best about it, because it was stellar across the board.

Obsidian by @kpopfanfictrash

In the pantheon of delicious Tae incarnations, Obsidian Taehyung is essentially unrivaled as a grey witch who moonlights as a sexy rock star. His extremely erotic clash with a white witch detective plays out as the two of them track down a sinister killer (with the help of some truly memorable side characters).

Out of this World by @ddaengyoonmin

This one is really unique. Tae is a merman scientist on the water planet of Neptune and when the reader and her misguided crew crash into his sea, he takes it upon himself to improve inter-species relations. This fic features excellent world building alongside several twists and surprises. Clever scientist Tae is downright irresistible.

▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨

Picking Flowers by @jamaisjoons

So this story is a journey - truly a beautiful one and it’s a gorgeous addition to the hanahaki genre. There is real pain and I cried real tears, but gosh it was so sexy and so worth it. I was surprised by how truly immersed I ended up in this piece. I lost track of everything else. The end is insanely satisfying, but the journey is really what makes this fic unmissable.

Until Yesterday by @jimlingss

This fic destroyed me slowly then slowly put me together again piece by piece. When I say I went through it - I WENT THROUGH IT. The story is loosely based on the movie “The Vow” and it is just fantastic. Beautiful and tender till the last word.

The Foolish Muse by @bibbykins

This is the story of someone who is deeply in love, but knows they deserve better. It is a sexy and evocative work with allusions to mythology that fit seamlessly into the narrative. I think my favorite part is Tae discovering how much the reader meant to him and what choices ultimately lead them to a really delicious conclusion.

Back to You by @ladyartemesia

The last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake again. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Kim Taehyung is the love of your life, until one day he disappears without a trace.

Vacancy by @ppersonna

This one is the only idol AU on the list and I normally don’t read those, but Lindy’s work is too good to miss in any setting. I am thrilled I took a look because what I found was a glimpse into a beautiful relationship that weathers and eventually overcomes the challenges of loving in the limelight. There is a LOT of emotional depth and symbolism which really elevates everything about this lovely story. The reader’s internal struggles in the face of her lover’s fame are extremely well done.

▨ HYBRID and ABO ▨ (alpha/omega)

Eye of the Tiger by @opaljm

I am beyond hype about this story which is (very) loosely inspired by Zootopia and features a cocky tiger Taehyung and a fiesty prey hybrid he needs to fake date in order to keep panther Jimin from murdering him. (Tiger Tae got a tad too frisky around Jimin’s mate and now things are dangerously awkward.) This story is already so freakin good. I cannot wait for the rest.

Silver and Blue by @taetaewonderland

What happens when you get on the wrong side of the right werewolf? Very sexy - very crazy times. Chronologically this is the first of the Silver and Blue series which follows barely civilized were-Tae through his courtship and eventually his relationship with the spunky reader. Holla to all my impreg kink homies. This is the fic for you.

Heat Run by @ladyartemesia

As I said before, the last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake twice. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Alpha lawyer V is a man of many secrets, but his well ordered reality spirals wildly out of control when he crosses paths with a fiery omega set on saving the world from his wicked ways.

Beautiful Stranger by @interludemoonchild

This was a wild ride from start to finish. Taehyung is a tiger hybrid shifter who escapes from the circus to be close to a veterinary student he bonded with. There is a lot of interesting twists and surprises in this one. I was definitely screaming at the end.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by @jingabitch

A very young wolf hybrid Taehyung adopts you as his pet human when you are just a kid. After Tae leaves to serve in the military he returns to an adult version of his sweet little princess and chaos ensues. Mind the tags for this one folks. It’s excellent, but there are very triggering themes throughout.

▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨

Level of Restraint by @lemonjoonah

This is not strictly a Tae fic in that he is only one of three major players in this twisted masterpiece. Lemon is the undisputed queen of the surprise twist and this one is truly brilliant. People dropped this fic in the discord calling it the best fan fiction they had ever read and I am not here to argue with them at all. Fair warning, every word - every inch of this fic is sexy and it’s delicious brand of titillation is wrapped around your psyche good and tight by the end.

Four by @luxekook

The quadruplets next door are fueling your very lurid fantasies. It turns out they have some fantasies of their own... You will need water if you read this fic. This is the original patented Kim Taehyung Horny Hive Mind 4D Experience™

▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨

The Heat Wave Series by @curly-bangtan

The original story (chapter 1) in this series is definitely famous, but I don’t know how many people have read all 9 chapters and if you haven’t, you are really missing the incredible journey of two very horny idiots stumbling recklessly towards real and amazing love. Everything is set off when the air conditioner breaks and a pair of wild roommates shed their inhibitions along with their clothes.

Flicker by @chimoona

So this fic started out with adorable neighbor dynamics and ended with erotic rope tying. Baby I was ABOUT IT. This was so bloomin hot and also like sweet and tender. Really a sexy and sentimental treasure.

Not Your Typical Flower Shop Story by @jungtaeyoongles

This story goes from “aww” to “WHAT THE-” real quick. Fast paced plot and twist after twist turn the whole flower shop au upside down and then inside out. I can’t say more because spoilers but like - WOW.

▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC ▨ (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex)

Extracurricular by @ppersonna

One of my favorite professor-student AUs. The reader writes her gorgeous professor a borderline erotic analysis of several major works of art and he feels compelled to discuss it with her privately. Lindy really outdid herself on this one. It is scorchin. Professor Tae is actually really sweet and somehow that just makes the whole thing hotter.

Akrasia by @nitaescence

This is insanely hot. Emphasis on the insane because it’s basically a super erotic romp where you have sex with a man you don’t know (Taehyung) on a crowded public bus. I literally felt my blood pressure going up the longer I read. Whew.

The Client by @jungkookiebus

This one hit me right in the feels. Taehyung is a sweet and lonely man who has a standing Wednesday appointment with an upscale sex worker. As the story progresses, feelings become involved on both sides. When I say I am checking her page thrice daily for part three... This is so engrossing. And this Tae. I just want to hold him.

Daffodil Dreams by @sombreboy

Tread carefully ladies and gents. This story is excellent, but it is easily the darkest fic on the list and, if you choose to read it, please read the trigger warnings carefully. The reader is a psychologist called in to analyze a very dangerous criminal. As their sessions progress, however, several boundaries are crossed.

Obey by @jjkfire

Taehyung is the most feared and ruthless member of the local mafia and you are the world’s most inept escort. You needed a job, but had no real interest in sex work and you’ve managed to fly under the radar as a glorified waitress until Kim Taehyung himself walks into your agency and decides that you’re the only girl he wants. Oh my gosh I loved this story so much. It was downright amazing and there is a surprise at the end that makes everything even sweeter.

[lode-builds]

Do you have any tips on custom terraforming and custom trees? Or is there a specific YT chanel or blog you follow for advice yourself?? (Love your builds btw, I recently haven't had the energy or a good enough mood to play mc but it's always amazing to look through people's projects for my own inspiration).

 heyo! so it's a bit tricky to give advice on this kind of thing bc I more go with the flow until things start looking right, but I can offer some basic (and probably very vague) advice under the cut

for terraforming: think natural, organic shapes and avoid hard edges. this seems obvious but it can be hard to remember especially when making upward slopes/mountains etc.

^this is from literally 7 years ago bc I'm not at my new computer but it's a good example bc it's got good and bad things to it. you can see how at the bottom of the build it gradually slopes up from the water and then transitions pretty smoothly to a steeper slope, that's a pretty good example of how mountains can look. if you've taken algebra, think exponential graph type shiz. even if you have a steep cliff it usually doesn't rise completely vertical from the ground. you can see the area I circled does pretty much that, which makes it look out of place with the rest of the build. 

another good thing to keep in mind is block variation, which adds texture to the landscape. I've definitely gotten better at this over time through practice and watching other people build. the blocks you use are gonna vary depending on the biome/environment ofc, but I like to play around with multiple blocks w/ similar colors

depending again on your biome, greenery is always a plus. I tend to avoid using bonemeal to add grass/flowers/etc, because personally I don’t love the red/yellow color combo. as for custom trees, I typically make the trunk/branches first (using a combo of logs, wood planks, fences, stairs, slabs to get the right shape/colors) and then filling in leaves until it feels right lmao. 

I don’t really watch tutorials on building, but I do watch a few builder youtubers when I have time. GoodTimesWithScar is known for being a super talented terraformer with a lot of large-scale builds. (his current hermitcraft starter base is a really cool tree iirc, which might be good to check out!) BDoubleO100 is another inspiration of mine, and is really good at nailing fine detailing in building (his texturing has inspired me a LOT). in my last post with the castle, those pine trees were inspired by some he made in one of his videos. he just started a new season of his youtube building series, where he talks in depth about his build process––would totally recommend. through association I know lot of other hermitcraft members have great experience (GeminiTay PearlescentMoon Grian etc etc etc), so you can check them out too! 

big takeaway that I’m sure everyone’s heard before: practice makes progress woohoo yass! but it’s true, I’ve definitely seen improvement just by trial and error and experimenting with different things over time. also learning from other people can be super helpful as well. tools like worldpainter/worldedit/voxel aren’t necessary at all, but they’re sometimes super nice to use especially in the planning stages of building. if you’re able to download/willing to use them, there are a lot of youtube tutorials on how they work

this is a super general overview and I’d be glad to answer some more questions if you have any specific ones! just realized this has been sitting in my inbox for a few days and wanted to make sure I got back to you. again, I’m no expert and if anybody else wants to reply w/ extra advice feel free <3

[dongofthewolf]

When You’re Lost in the Darkness, Look for the Light- Chapter 2

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

Read chapter 1 here !

After your night with Abby you head down to the cafeteria again to grab some food, still convinced it was all a dream. It’s not until you recognize a familiar face from across the room that you realize it was real, and this time she’s not alone.

Warnings: mild violence, swearing, fluff, just a lot of gay panic tbh

The new chapter is finally here !! All the positive comments on the first one made me so happy so THANK YOU for those :))

BTW that gif of Abby... both eyes open no blink (O_O)

When you woke from your slumber you were almost positive that your encounter with Abby was merely a dream or a figment of your imagination. It was the first time since moving to the base that you hadn’t woken up in a cold sweat; nightmares filled with the echoes of clickers and that piercing sound of ammo clattering on the floor was not an uncommon occurrence. After spending those two dreadful days trapped in a bunker with nothing but a pocket knife and a small handgun, a good night's sleep was something you no longer expected. You shivered as you recalled that dark, cold, concrete room you had barricaded yourself in, awaiting your death with no food, water, or supplies of any kind. It wasn’t until you heard the crashing of pipe bombs in the above levels that you snapped out of your weakened state. The WLF had on a whim decided to clear the building you were hiding out in and saved you. Your rescue was a complete stroke of luck and you weren’t sure whether to be incredibly grateful or afraid for it.

Still groggy from your sleep, you hadn’t even realized the small piece of paper that had been slipped under your door. It was from a page in a notebook that had been ripped out, and on it was a small message in neat, military handwriting: “Had a lot of fun last night :) - A”.

“So it was real!” You thought. That absolute tank of a woman wasn’t just a product of a sleep deprived trip to the communal cafeteria; she was real and every fibre of your being hoped she had enjoyed last night as much as you did.

You neatly tucked the note into your copy of Pride and Prejudice before getting ready for the day (or more like afternoon since you had slept in). After brushing your teeth and washing your face, you slipped on your military issued combat boots and a light sweatshirt before leaving your dorm. 

It was still raining outside but luckily the WLF base wasn’t too chilly. Even when it snowed they always managed to maintain some modicum of heat, it seemed as though the wolves could always find ways around the pesky inconveniences of living in a post-apocalyptic world. You never really questioned it though and you knew better than to doubt Isaac’s methods. It’s not like you’ve actually met him or anything, but the stories that you had heard were enough to send a chill down your spine, and you knew that even if you did ask questions it’s not like anyone would answer them anyways.

Fortunately you hadn’t slept in past lunch because you were absolutely starving, so starving that even the shitty WLF base food was starting to smell like heaven. As you made your way into the cafeteria that was teeming with life, there was only one thing on your mind: devouring those damn burritos. Once you finally got some food you quickly sat down to demolish it, amazed at how so much happiness could be contained within the confines of a single bland tortilla and completely oblivious to the staring of a familiar pair of blue eyes from across the crowded room.

“Just talk to her already.” Manny said in a teasing tone.

Abby quickly snapped out of it “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”. 

Of course Abby knew what he was talking about; in your rush to completely annihilate those burritos you had failed to notice Abby sitting at a table a few feet away. Abby couldn’t explain it but her heart was racing, the same way it would if she were in combat with a hoard or some Scars. 

Manny rolled his eyes “Dude I’m not blind, you’ve been staring at her ever since she sat down. So who is she?”. He relished at the sight of Abby’s nervousness, he hadn’t seen her like this since back when she was still dating Owen.

“Huh? No hablo inglés.” Abby said sarcastically trying to get Manny off her back.

“Fine, I guess I’ll have to ask her myself.” Manny started to get up when Abby kicked his shins from under the table. Manny yelped in pain “Dude! What the hell?”.

“I will literally clock you in the face, sit your ass down right now.” Abby quickly glanced around the room to make sure no one noticed Manny writhing in pain. 

Manny chuckled then smiled that classic smug grin while he gripped his definitely-bruised shins “I knew it, someone’s got a crush.”.

“God you’re annoying, I should’ve let that clicker eat you last week.” Abby said in an annoyed tone as she fell back against her chair. Abby felt a tinge of remorse for kicking Manny like that, she knew that Manny probably wouldn’t have actually walked up to you; but she couldn’t have risked it. Abby looked up and noticed Manny’s expression had changed, afraid she overstepped with that last statement Abby was just about to apologize when Manny started.

“What the fuck Abby?! Why didn’t you tell me about this girl, you know I’m the best wing-man.” Manny was suddenly very intrigued, Abby had always been very secretive when it came to her love life so Manny jumped at the opportunity to become her certified dating coach. Plus, not only did Manny have his fair share of experience with women, he also just really wanted to see Abby less lonely. After Owen and Mel started dating along with Leah and Jordan, Abby was stuck constantly third-wheeling the entire group; Manny didn’t think she minded that much, but sometimes it hurt his heart to see her all alone.

“There’s nothing to talk about Manny, we’re just friends.” Abby replied reluctantly, not completely believing her own words. It’s not like you guys were dating, but it felt like a disservice to call what you guys had a “friendship”. The word itself didn’t accurately encapsulate enough meaning for her and despite the fact she was a voracious reader, Abby just couldn’t come up with a word for what you two had.

“If you’re friends, then just go up and talk to her.”  Manny knew Abby, and he knew that she always needed a push if he wanted to get anything out of her.

“I can’t… I just can’t. I’m not like you, okay?” Abby was conflicted, waves of doubt started to roll in the more she thought about it. She didn’t want to consider the possibility that maybe you didn’t want to talk to her; that maybe you were just being nice last night and didn’t actually like her, or maybe even that you saw her when you came in and decided to ignore her on purpose. 

Obviously Abby was freaking out for no reason, but those small anxious bits of uncertainty that crept in from the back of her mind made her shield of confidence feel tenuous and weak; something she despised.

Manny knew what Abby meant but being the smug little shit he is, he wanted to hear her say it out loud “What do you mean?”.

Abby sighed, “Don’t make me say it.”.

“No, no I really want to hear it.” Manny smiled that famous shit-eating grin, the one he used whenever Abby had to admit he was right.

Abby realized he wasn’t letting go of this “Ugh you know, you can… talk to people.”. Abby could tell by Manny’s face that he wasn’t satisfied with her answer, so not wanting to risk the possibility that he’ll stand up again Abby gave him a look of defeat “and I guess you’re charming or whatever.”.

“Ah! Música para mis oídos.” Manny smiled proudly, hearing Abby compliment him was almost as rare as seeing her without that signature braid. Just as Manny was getting ready to haul Abby’s ass to your table he looked over and realized that you had disappeared, it wasn’t until Abby kicked his shins again that he realized you were standing right there.

You were elbow deep in your third burrito before your dumbass realized that Abby was sitting a couple tables across from yours. “Shit!” You thought, how long had she been sitting there? Did she notice you? No, probably not… unless, what if she was so disgusted by you huffing down those burritos that she ignored you? Ugh! How could you not have noticed her?

You calmly set your burrito down, wiping your face and praying to God there wasn’t anything stuck in your teeth. You figured that Abby probably hadn’t noticed you so you decided to just bite the bullet and talk to her. As you stood up from your seat to make your way over to her table, you quietly whispered to yourself “Come on y/n, don’t be a pussy.”.

“Hey Abby.” She was sitting with a man who you assumed was the friend that she had transferred here with, she mentioned his name last night but you couldn’t place it. He suddenly jerked around to face you with a calm smile on his face, his rugged features and charming personality now making it clear as to why Abby complained about being kicked out of her own room so many nights. Even though you weren’t attracted to him, you understood what all the fuss was about.

“Hey Y/N, I didn’t even see you there.” As soon as the words came out Abby shot Manny a look, the kind of look that meant “don’t say a fucking word.”. However, of course Manny being… well Manny, he grinned and raised his hand to shake yours.

“I’m Manny.” His smile was warm and welcoming as he shook your hand “Please, sit down sit down. Tell me all about yourself.”.

You took a seat next to Abby, your knees just barely grazing each other due to the shortage of space at the table. Even though it was such a small form of contact, you couldn’t help but feel like there was an electric charge connecting you together. You wondered if she even noticed the gesture, if Abby could hear your heart daring to beat out of your chest; if she noticed that small gap between your hands on the table, or if she even noticed the small clandestine looks you were sending her the whole time.

Abby froze stiff as a board when you sat down next to her, and she did her best to maintain her composure when she felt your knee graze hers from beneath the table. This was the closest you two had been and now she could really see the details of your face and your actions; how you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear whenever you were nervous, or how you snorted when Manny thought “Little Women” was just about really tiny people. She noticed how bright your smile was, how it was the kind of smile that could instantly light up an entire room, and she was astonished because Abby finally understood the real meaning of that one Firefly quote about “looking for the light”. Abby realized that no matter what, she would follow you to the ends of the Earth. You were this bright and unexpected light that suddenly entered her life, you weakened her defences and made her feel like a ball of putty, and while one part of her detested that feeling, another part of her never wanted to part with it.

You explained to them how you had been rescued by the WLF and how you were a pretty skilled mechanic. You even told them about how although you loved your job, you desperately wanted to work in the library, because other than the fact that you wouldn’t be covered in grease at the end of every day, you’d also be surrounded by things you love. 

The two told you about the “Salt Lake Crew” and how they were essentially Isaac’s top soldiers. It was a fact that left you with about a hundred questions, but you figured it wasn’t the right time to bring up their boss so you tried your best to brush it off. The three of you sat at that table talking for what felt like forever before the cafeteria staff kicked you guys out because they had to clean up. 

As they both walked you to your room you were so incredibly excited. You had spent so many months at this boring outpost, spending most of your time reading or crying. Then Abby happened; she came into your life and suddenly you weren’t alone anymore. You were so insanely grateful for this newfound happiness that you just wanted to leap into those insanely strong arms. 

Just as the two were about to leave Abby grabbed your hand and leaned down to your height so she could quietly talk to you, “Hey Y/N, can I ask you something?”.

You were so dumbfounded by her hand holding yours that you nearly passed out, you tried to form words but all you could manage was a small nod.

Abby smiled as she stood up and looked to Manny “Hey, you can go ahead I’ll catch up. I just need to talk to Y/N for a quick sec.”. 

Manny immediately got the signal and grinned so wide Abby thought his face would freeze like that, Abby knew she was never going to hear the end of this, but she couldn’t really be bothered to care with your hand in hers.

Then Manny was gone, and it was just you and Abby. Her hand was still holding yours and you couldn’t help but notice all the details of them; how she had these small calluses on the palms of her hands, formed from years of wielding firearms and lifting weights. You realized how much damage she could do with them—how much damage she had done with them—but instead she stood there softly cradling your hand in hers, just lightly squeezing it before she looked at you with those same pools of blue you wanted desperately to drown in.

“Hey so I know we kind of just met last night, but I’ve really enjoyed hanging out with you and…” Abby paused to contemplate her words before starting again “and I was wondering if we could do this more often. I’m doing some work for Isaac tomorrow but I’ll be back later if you wanted to come by and watch a movie or something?”.

“Holy shit!” You thought “Did Abby just ask me out on a date?”. You couldn’t believe it, there was no way this absolutely fucking perfect girl just asked you on a date. You almost wanted to pinch yourself because nothing about this felt real, it wasn’t until you snapped back to reality that you realized you had been staring at Abby in absolute silence while she stood there waiting for an answer.

You quickly answered “Absolutely, I would love to come over and watch a movie.” Your heart was pounding dangerously fast against your ribcage and your face was completely flushed as you gave her a reassuring smile.

Abby sighed with relief and lightly squeezed your hand “Great! I’m in the room across from the gym, does eight o-clock work?”. Abby felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, at first when Y/N didn’t say anything, she was afraid she had misread the situation and crossed the line.

“I’ll see you then.” As you started heading back to your room, you suddenly remembered something “Hey Abby!” She looked back with curiosity as you shot her a small smirk “Thanks for the note.”. 

Abby smiled shyly “I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N.”

—

Read the next chapter here

[lord-of-christmas-lights]

I could post regular Narnia headcanons...

Or I could post the continuation of this post and go into depth about how Eustace and Caspian are affected by deity Narnia. Welcome back to Inhuman Narnia 101 and it turned out just as long as the first one so buckle up.

Check out this post by @dorianviolet for another awesome version of Inhuman AU Caspian

Warnings for slight body horror mentions including blood magic stuff, slight religious themes and theological discussion towards the end.

Before anything: This AU directly contradicts canon a lot. I don't care, that's why it's called an AU. Some of it is deliberate, some of it is accidental. I haven't read the books in a number of years, so this is all based on the movies and general information I've picked up from fanfic and tumblr. Discussion on this post is welcomed, criticism and arguments are not. Thank you.

First off, here is the link to an exploration of Dragoning, the Eustace-centric fic I wrote about this. I refer to it repeatedly in this post so if you want the full thing, there it is.

Second, let's get into this. So in my last post, I talked a lot about Narnia, her general existence in this AU, and her motivations as a character. She wants the people in her world to be a part of her, and no one else. Some of this is a conscious choice, and some of it isn't. Eustace's changes throughout his time in VOTDT are definitely not purposeful. It was his greed that drove him to the treasure, it was his own "curse" in becoming a dragon. That was not Narnia reaching out to him and purposefully trying to mold him to her world. As such, he takes on more of an observing role.

Eustace doesn't ever actually directly address his cousins on the subject of their inhumanity, in this fic or in any other I write. He simply sees it, notes it happening, and moves on. Even in the sections in my fics where the subject of inhumanity in general is brought up between Eustace and one of his cousins, it's always about Caspian, the greater Narnian world, or himself.

"Eustace asks why, and Lucy answers. Narnia changes people, she says. It happens to everyone, but the closer you are to her Heart, the greater it is. I don't know where Dragons are. Perhaps closer than we realized. It's exhilarating, isn't it? Aslan will return us to normal though, at the end of our journey." - AEOD

I don't know why, but I don't like the idea of Eustace trying to directly address the Pevensie brand of inhumanity. That line above takes place after his UnDragoning, after the way he sees things has changed, and I see it as him asking what exactly has changed, you know, why are Dragons different than boys?

That brings me to how Eustace himself changes. Now, if he hadn't gone and turned into a Dragon, I imagine Narnia wouldn't have taken much note of him. He's a random human, stuck-up, not at all in line for ruling her lands, and just kind of exists without much else going on. She still would have affected him a little, as she does to all humans in her world but it would have been almost entirely spiritual with no physical changes. And then we got the greatest fuck around and find out scene ever. He becomes a Dragon.

I love dragons, always have, I have a very deep spiritual connection to these creatures, and as such, I have gone all out on worldbuilding for Narnian Dragons. Again, the quote from AEOD, "...the closer you are to her Heart, the greater it is. I don't know where Dragons are. Perhaps closer than we realized." In the Inhuman AU, Dragons were the first creatures Narnia (the deity) and Aslan made when they created Narnia (the world). They just really liked the dragon shape from other worlds and thought, "Hey wouldn't it be cool if our world was populated by these big fire-breathing lizards?" Now I don't actually remember how often Dragons are mentioned and/or featured in the books so I'm going with my idea that Dragons are a somewhat rare but not extinct species. They have to be created through magical means, often through physical transformation of people or objects, though there are a few known cases of natural-born Narnian Dragons. Eustace's creation was the curse on the treasure, though I don't see his Dragoning as a curse itself. As in, the curse isn't in the being a Dragon, it's in how the Dragon was created. So, Eustace experiences this accidental change into a creature that's closer to Narnia's Heart than pretty much any other being in Narnia. They were her first creations, forged from the fire in the Stars, and they are the closest to her magic. And that gets her attention.

Now, if you went and read AEOD, you'll have noticed that one of Eustace's biggest changes (aside from the obvious physical ones) is his vision. This is just a natural thing for Dragons, they are far more in tune with magic and the earth and everything than everyone else, but Narnia's special interest in him definitely amplifies the hell out of his magic sense.

"The people here say dragons see the oddest of things, and he has to assume it's a hallucination....He refuses to give into its whims, reminds himself it's just his imagination. Until Reepicheep comments on it." - AEOD. Following this quote, Reepicheep mentions to Lucy that her inhumanity is returning faster than Edmund's and Eustace has a total panic attack at the idea that what he's seeing is real. He sees what everyone else does, Lucy's stained fingers and Edmund's ability to manipulate words, but he also notices stuff no one else does like the stars in Edmund's throat and the echoes that follow Lucy's words. This is further cemented after his UnDragoning, where the extra stuff he perceived has vanished. Now the general idea in this AU is that the closer to Narnia's Heart you are, the more you know and perceive. Everyone can see some of the more obvious inhuman aspects of the Pevensies, but there are things that only Dragons, druids, Stars, and some other magic folk really close to Narnia's Heart see. I'm not going to get into an exact chart of what certain characters can and cannot see because that can change over time and such and I'd rather leave it mostly up to personal interpretation on what other characters do and do not perceive about the Pevensies and other such inhuman characters.

(Side note—I had to pause in the writing of this post here to go to my second meeting for an autism assessment and I think if I just showed the doctor my notes app and the inhuman/dark fantasy narnia tag on my blog, I'd get the diagnosis instantly lol) So anyways, Narnia senses Eustace becoming a Dragon and is like "Ooohoo what's this?" and starts sort of digging into him in the same way she does to her Kings and Queens. This triggers his already enhanced perception of Narnia (the world) to get even stronger, and this is when he starts seeing stuff like people's souls, Caspian's second heart (more on that soon), and looking at Lucy/Edmund/Lilliandil becomes almost painful because Narnia's magic is so bright in them. Aslan then UnDragons him, which Narnia really doesn't like btw, and Eustace is back to being a fairly average human.

This is where stuff established in AEOD ends.

Now I have so many ideas and half finished fanfics written out in my notes app about Eustace, UnDragoning, and inhumanity and it would be impossible to cover them all here, so I'm just going to go with the highlights. One of my favorite ones is the idea that after Eustace's UnDragoning, he still feels very connected to being a dragon. He's had this taste of pure inhumanity, and something like that doesn't just leave a person. There's a fic I read once long before I was fully invested in this fandom about Eustace and draconity that I will never stop thinking about and was actually the reason I started considering Eustace and Narnian Dragons in this AU. One of the really important things to note is that once a Dragon is created, they can never be uncreated. They can be UnDragoned, where their physical form is returned to whatever it was before their Dragoning (a rock, a talisman, a faun, etc) but their soul has changed on a fundamental level to that of a Dragon. Now for Eustace in my Inhuman AU, this manifests spiritually as a deep longing to return to being a Dragon. Physically, he experiences fun side effects like increased heat tolerance, nails that grow faster than normal, and because Narnia likes to meddle, a single ridge of scales along his spine. In some versions of my drafts, he stays at the end of VOTDT and experiences a slow Dragoning because Narnia's influence on him is that strong, other versions he stays but never quite returns to the Dragon he was before, and in yet other versions, he returns to England and loses that connection enough that physically, he will never be a Dragon again. As I said, Narnia is fascinated by him, she's never really had a human Dragon before, but he is still just a random guy who happens to be related to the Pevensies and as such, she doesn't invest as much time or magic into his inhumanity.

So that's Eustace. This is already such a long post but I promised to talk about both him and Caspian so here we go.

Now, in my last post I talked a bit about how Narnia (the deity) affects the other humans in Narnia (the world) to an extent, but it's nowhere near the amount she does to her Kings and Queens, and also this diminishes more and more the farther you get from Narnia (the country). Telmar is fairly close to Narnia (the country) but as we see in PC, a lot of Narnia's magic and spirit has been diminished by the time Caspian is born. Up until the awakening of the land during the battle, Caspian is essentially 100% human. However, this changes very quickly.

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment Caspian becomes a King of Narnia. Is it when he refuses to kill Miraz? Is it when Aslan tells him he's one? Is it during his actual coronation? Yes, yes, and yes. I try not to pin it down to an exact moment. By the end of PC though, he's definitely noticing some changes in himself. I have an unpublished part 2 to an exploration of Inhumanity (my only other actually posted fic on this stuff) that I swear I will clean up and get posted soon that goes into further detail on the changes he's noticing at the end of AEOI. Some of the big ones include a second golden heart, seeing some of the life magic in the world around him, and a golden glow on his palms. He also slowly develops the ability to heal, though it's not always consistent. Magic takes practice, lots and lots of practice. In pt 2, the glow on his palms has gotten so bright and also spread around his head like a halo, and Lucy shows him how to conceal it so he's not impossible to look at, but because of Magic™ there's still a dusting of golden powdery stuff across his skin. His blood turns golden because Ben Barnes + golden blood is such pretty imagery, and like the others, it gets sucked down and absorbed into Narnia's Heart when he bleeds in battle. Also when I say he's got a second heart I mean he's got a second fucking heart. Ribcage shift and all. (His appearance doesn't actually change, it's more like a pocket dimension thing going on inside him, but he sure as hell can feel it happening). Having Narnia as a patron goddess just means you have to put up with a second puberty sometimes lol.

Anyways, there's a line in AEOI that I feel explains this stuff really well. "He cannot truly protect the land without becoming a part of it himself." Narnia changes her Kings and Queens because she wants them to be a part of her. Aslan doesn't really see these changes as necessary (in canon, a world without deity Narnia, they don't happen), and if the storyline we pick is the one that's the constant cycle of humanity and inhumanity, it's sort of a push and pull between them. Aslan wants the Pevensies, and by proxy anyone else who rules Narnia or experiences these changes, to keep their humanity, to stay as they were Created by him. Narnia, however, wants them to be as much a part of her as she is of them. It's very clear in both the books and the movies that Narnia (the world) is where these characters belong. In the end, they all come home to her (yes, Susan too because fuck Mr. Clive Staples Lewis). Caspian being anything less than fully inhuman is something she cannot handle. She is constantly having to recreate the Pevensies, reestablish her hold on them, only to have them return to England and become mostly human again. Caspian cannot be taken away from her, he is in this world by birth and she is going to do everything she can to shape him into the ruler he needs to be.

Once again, I would like to state that Aslan and Narnia are not opposing sides of good and evil. Gods cannot be defined by human standards, and to think either Narnia or Aslan completely in the right or wrong in this AU would be, well, an interesting standpoint, but really not the one I'm going for here. I'm not going to say it's a misinterpretation, I am very open to hearing people's thoughts on this AU, and everyone's going to see things differently. Just, please reread what I've written about them before you start making that argument.

Anyways, that wraps this post up because I have spent the better part of the past 6 hours writing this. I spent way more time on Eustace than I intended but it's just so fascinating to think about inhumanity from his perspective considering he's the only one in canon that actually was (briefly) inhuman. Again, if you got this far, congratulations! If you use any of my ideas mentioned here, please tag me, I am so starved for inhuman Narnia content lol.