#lap times

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Clark, after he and Bruce start dating: *assumes that Bruce would scoff at cuddling and mentally forming an intricate 30 step plan to slowly coax Bruce into cuddling over time so that eventually they can cuddle while sleeping when they start staying over*

Bruce, the very first time Clark stays the night: *sprawled on top of him, head cushioned on Clark’s comfy and squishy pecks, drooling slightly*

Clark, holding back tears of joy: 🥹

[luminarai]

Most people will tell you that giving your pets any kind of medication in pill form is an absolute nightmare, meanwhile I have the exact opposite problem.

A friend of mine was watching my cat Mim while I was travelling this weekend and when he went to split her weekly allergy pill (made to split into 4 small pills when you press down on it with a finger) to give her the usual 1/4, he fumbled it and sent it skittering across the floor where my ridiculous pill-loving menace of cat immediately gobbled down the whole thing, leading to me receiving a panicked phone call at 11 pm from said friend who was understandably freaking out (everyone’s fine, a single high dose won’t cause any problems as long as it’s just this once).

Behold: the villain herself, basking in the success of her crime (she’d be planning her next pill-related heist but, as you can see if you look closely, there’s there’s nothing but elevator music behind those eyes)

[a-chaotic-dumbass]

ppl who genuinely think that jon should just be a king-consort who doesnt interfere with politics and just lets his wife do all the dirty work should consider themselves opps bc were not reading the same books im sorry to say. ppl r so obsessed with making jon out to be some ambitionless wifeguy and a lapdog and thats literally so annoying bc thats a completely different guy!!! ur making up a guy in ur brain!!!! he joins the nights watch bc hes ambitious bc thats the one place where bastards may rise high hes daydreamed and pretended to be the lord of winterfell as a child hes been groomed by joer mormont FOR leadership and IS a leader now and when stannis offers jon winterfell and val he WANTS it he wants it so bad but refuses it to lead the nights watch. if u dont want that then u dont want jon idk what to tell u

[red-moon-at-night]

okay the whole vase is great but something about Helen sitting on Aphrodite's lap as she wraps one arm around her shoulder and brushes her leg with her hand, staring into her eyes like that... as she is persuading Helen to go with Paris (while Peitho aka persuasion stands behind them) is so incredibly iconic.

and gay. toxic yuri, if you will.

[lotuslate]

oh, your love is sunlight!

[just-null]

i am literally on my KNEEEEEESSSSS. please please make more yandere hantengu clone art.. i don’t care if you don’t color it in or if it’s just a simple sketch PLEASE 😞

is the threat directed at you??? at others??? at something else??? do you even want to find out??? You'll probably be okay if you get back home before dark and make it up to him.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

god DAMN are the squirrels aggressive

okay so when I moved in I had my dad do a quick mesh replacement on the screen window in the kitchen, so we can air out the area without every bug in the universe descending upon us, right?

well, throughout the spring summer and fall the squirrels have been tearing their way THROUGH that mesh to get to the fruit bowl we keep on the table next to that window. We now have to all remember to keep that inner window closed if we aren't in the kitchen

earlier today i heard a thump, and, of course thinking it was the household cat knocking something over, got up to go check it out

and i find

this CHONKER of a black squirrel sitting hunkered over the kitchen table trying to horf down as much of an apple bigger than his skull as possible. it'd scrimbled around a bit to start off and knocked over a trash bin, which is what summoned me in the first place

upon seeing me, he scrimbles the fuck back through the mesh hole

...

that apple has been forfeited to the backyard beasts

I have informed my father that we need something way the fuck stronger for that window

[skylersprompts]

DC x DP Prompt *32*

This was the ninth- no.... tenths loop. He is eating his breakfast and he is dizzy again. Because Mom drugged his oatmeal, because Mom and Dad knew! Danny stood up from his chair and tried to leave the kitchen. (He knew it wouldn't work, it never worked) His eyes grew heavy and a few steps later he hit the ground.

He wakes up to the same gruesome picture as in the last nine loops. But Danny doesn't beg anymore. Or says anything. It hurts, but it's nothing he hasn't had felt before. It would only take them a week before they would destroy his core again and then everything would start anew. Maybe he could think of something better for next time.

.

.

.

The last feeling he remembered was an all encompassing pain, as his Dad crushed his core. But he was at the breakfast table again, already feeling groggy. But maybe this time he could get help? He knew that he could fight the drugs for around ten minutes, as long as he didn't stand up.

So instead he got his phone out of his pocket. He knew that neither his sisters, nor his friends would be fast enough, he already tried them, but maybe someone else could be fast enough.

He opened Twitter and started to write a new post, ignoring his atrocious spelling in favor of getting as many information out as possible.

@theoneandonlyflash I'm kinda stuck in a time looop and my parents will koll me in about a werk they druged me so I'll be in they lab in a fee minotes. Pleaase helpp and fins me iin Amyt Park, Illnois. My name iss Dannyy Fentin

He was able to press send, before his vision would become to spotty. Now he just needed to hope that the fastest man alive would be able to help him. Danny's head fell on the table.

.

.

.

It was the eleventh time he woke up to the same scene and this time he couldn't do anything against his tears. He would die again... and again and again...

Danny's spiraling thought were interrupted by the basement door, that had hit the wall. This was new!

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

[morganbritton132]

More Steve Has Older Siblings AU nonsense:

1. The first Christmas after he told his parents he was too old for babysitters, he spent alone. His parents were snowed in at some ski resort. His dad said over the phone that they’d call one of his siblings to pick him up so he can spend the holiday with them. He either forgot to call or they ignored the request, because Steve spent the day waiting for someone to come by but no one ever did. He opened his presents alone and lied about it when his mom called that night. Santa had died for him years before, but the spirit of Christmas never really returned after that year.

2. Steve’s dad was on the swim team in high school. Swears he would’ve made it to the Olympics if he hadn’t torn his rotator cuff. He never went to a single one of Steve’s basketball games but went to every swim meet he had his freshman year. Steve thinks his dad stopped coming to his meets because he realized his son was a better swimmer than he ever was.

3. Steve had always been a little scared of the night when he was a kid and when the blue glow of the pool on his ceiling made too many moving shadows, he’d sit at the top of the stairs in the hallway. His mom, who has her own troubles sleeping, sometimes would sit with him. They don’t talk much and they never go downstairs even though Tommy’s mom would’ve gotten him warm milk by now.. The stairs creaked too much and they didn’t want to wake Dad, so they sit there together. Shoulder to shoulder, even on the nights Steve wishes more than anything that she’d hug him. They stop having this time together when she eventually gets a sleeping pill prescription.

4. Claire, being the only other girl in the house, was expected to take care of the new baby, so she did. Steve was bathed, changed, and fed when needed. She never hurt him. She didn’t abandon him. He was always at least in ear shot, but she wasn’t interested in him beyond the duty of childcare. She didn’t talk to him. She didn’t play with him. She didn’t hold him more than she had to. Steve gets it, kinda. He’s not her kid. She’s not his mom. It doesn’t make it hurt less when he sees how good she is with her own kids.

[souvenir116]

transcript of Max's radio with GP before Charles pitted... damn he really only got stuck behind Charles when he was normally butching the whole grid to reach the top, but the way Charles defended against Max like a lion... unbelievable

[moment-live]

In the dark you will not stray

[ofcowardiceandkings]

tfw ur havin a convo with the neighbours and ur bf is in need of a cuddle ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

[dykemd]

the best thing about having a little pet in ur house is that one day u will do some random silly thing w them without knowing it will become their favorite thing n now u have to do it everyday otherwise they get upset

[sugarlywhispers]

b.katsuki x reader (fem)

a.n; i blame this completely over the Olympics, again. sorry, but it has me on chokehold and i'm not resisting against it LOL 😜

Okay, hear me out...

Third date with Bakugou Katsuki.

The first one, of course, was very awkward and tense and sometimes even a bit worrisome. We are talking about dating Bakugou Katsuki, the one aggressive and violent Pro Hero that everybody has a hate-love feeling towards for; because the man looks and acts –and can– step on your head and crush it with malicious intent and yet, he's Nº 2 Pro Hero on the ranks and you just know that if he's around, you are completely safe. But he's big and tough and harsh in his talking and walking –how can anyone look that scary by just walking, you're still wondering, but it's real. He's fucking scary.

The second date was way more relaxed. He cooked for you. In his massive penthouse that probably costs more than your annual salary. Yep, morherfucker is rich rich. And you think he deserves it really. After all the troubles he goes through to keep the whole country safe –and even the world–, he completely deserves it. You just forgot how well he does his job to get to be that rich. You don't care about money though. You're dating him because you saw him helping a granny cross the street and that was the cutest thing you ever saw. So, back to the second date, he cooked for you, and damn... now you can say you'll keep dating him because of his food. Man cooks like the gods, like a fucking professional chef of the most expensive restaurant on earth. And also, you noticed how relaxed and in peace he looked in his own environment and he looked. So. Freaking. Attractive. Hot even. He looked just so... deliciously handsome.

So for the third date, and because he picked the second one, this one was of your choice. You decide to go ice skating. And you did not expect what happened at all. 

One would expect that Pro Hero Dynamight, civilian name Bakugou Katsuki, being who he is, would have exceptional balance and even a hidden talent for this. You’re wrong. Everyone is wrong. The second the blades of his skates touched the Ice Rink, he fell. Your eyes opened wide and you definitely were holding back your laugh as he struggled to get himself up by holding the handrail around the rink.

“Need some help?” You asked, getting close to him with no trouble at all. He looked up at you annoyed, struggling so hard to get up and keep his balance that his cheeks turned pink. How. Freaking. Cute. You’re glad that dating the Pro Hero came with its perks –like closing the whole rink just so only you and him are there, enjoying your date on a late wednesday night.

“Shut up. No, I can do it…” He declared, but another fall on his knees made you giggle while sliding backwards and away from him with ease, hands up in surrender. Katsuki looked at you once his stood for the nth time holding the handrail like dear life with a frown on his face, watching you how easy you made it look, “How the fuck are you doing that?”

You giggled again, amused by all of this situation. Sliding back towards him and extending your hands, you said, “Come one, let me help.”

Katsuki buffed but he placed his hands on yours, whole body trembling, barely holding himself up. The image of him sticking his ass up and body bending forward while his feet barely moved made you laugh out loud and he yelled another “shut up!”.

You changed your grip to his forearms and again slid backwards to make him move forward, his legs still trembling and his eyes never leaving the floor. He looked so cute, it made your heart flutter. The smile never left your face as you spoke again, “I used to skate a lot when I was younger. I even prepared myself to compete, but an injury put me out of the game.” 

He immediately looked back at you at your words, “What happened?” He looked curious, but also worried and kind of sad.

You shrugged, “I landed pretty badly over my right leg after a spinning jump once. After that, the shin splints became unbearable and I couldn't continue…” 

He looked down at your leg, watching you move attentively, “Does it hurt now?”

You shook your head and smiled at him, grateful for his worry, “Naah. It would only hurt badly if I tried to skate the way I used to… Guess I demanded a lot of myself back then.”

Katsuki didn’t comment further on, but he kept his attention on your leg. Didn’t that make him even cuter! 

It took you a while –long while– to finally be able to let go of one of his forearms once he was ready on his balance; his other hand still held yours strongly.

Time went by, both of you laughing and smiling while skating around the rink, hand in hand. You’re so happy that you could stand on the ice again. It brought you so many fond memories of when you were a kid. Skating was the only thing that could easily make you smile just because; the wind in your face made you feel free, content. and Katsuki could clearly see that.

For a moment, he got distracted by how beautiful you looked… and he lost his balance again. This time bringing you down with him. He was fast enough though to catch you and make you land over him. Your amused and loud laugh was contagious, so he couldn’t help but smile. He's having fun –even if he knew his body was going to hurt a bit the next day for how many falls he had.

“You’re so clumsy…” You laughed, joking kindly and funny.

“Oh, yeah? Then why don’t you show me what you can do?” His smirk made you suddenly stop laughing. It’s a clear challenge, yet curiosity shined in his eyes.

“Alright, hero… watch and learn,” you helped him stand up and directed him towards the handrail. 

Once he was away from possible harm, Katsuki watched you skate around the rink as if you were flying, gliding around with so much confidence and ease, as if you were made for it. Your hair floating behind you for how fast you were going, dancing beautifully with the air. He was hypnotized. Completely mesmerized by each little form you decided to enlighten him with. He particularly felt fascinated when you decided to spin fast and so many times he couldn’t count how many, then you stopped like it had been nothing and kept gliding around. 

You looked so nice and professional, Katsuki felt a little pang of pity for the world. It would never be able to share how beautifully perfect you looked at the moment.

A few more glides around, until you stopped in a very experienced way right in front of him, a huge smile on your face and a shine on your eyes that were proof of how immensely excited and happy you felt.

Did katsuki say already how fucking beautiful you were?

Just to prove his point, he instantly grabbed your face and kissed you for the very first time.

And fuck, he planned on keep kissing you as much as you would let him.

He let you go for a moment just to say, “That was beautiful… You’re gorgeous.”

You smiled one more time before sliding your arms around his neck to kiss him again. He moved a bit to surround your waist with his arms…

And that’s when he forgot about the handrail and sent you both again towards the floor.

[kelin-is-writing]

Ohh it definitely would actually.