#lamuseinn

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This is my beloved shawl from Kerry, the proprietor of La Muse Inn.

My Dad thought, for a moment, that I was in Russia, because of the lettering in the background, before he realized that it looked backwards because of the reflection. [I didn’t tell him I was in France until I came back, in New Jersey airport]

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When Kerry came another day to give me my shawl, and I paid her 50 Euro, I asked if there were others she made stuff for. “Just Zoe and Susanna,” she said before running off, there were 40 soldiers by the house and her kids were scared because they were armed and they were also registering for school.

It turns out the soldiers were doing military exercised out in the woods and were walking through the village.

Every so often Kerry would chat with me. She was so grateful for my help as a barter. Thursday new people were coming in and they were bartering too. There was a lot of stress due to the children’ complicated school registration. Lots of paperwork. Half hour to Carcassonne, where there are hundreds of kids in school (there were in nearby Mas Cabardes where 30 kids were in school). There’s a bus that serves the area but they know they also serve the school, which lets out at 4 but the bus leaves at 4. She was starting to think maybe they should’ve gone elsewhere. Gloria (7 years) is going to Mas Cabardes, nearby town. And will need to be picked up. The next bus for the boys is at 6. But they’re 11 years. They’re twins. Plus the arrivals of other “Musers” are all different - John picks them up.

At one hand I was glad I helped her but I also did 1/2 the creative work I would’ve done if I didn’t do any bartering. I also would’ve walked to Roquefere - to the cafe and restaurant. But the bartering wore me out. And I was only there a week.

Kerry ran up to me on my last day. Right when I was waiting for John to pull up and take me to the train station. We said our goodbyes.

[She didn’t have the ponytail to the side, as I’ve drawn her, it’s always to the back]

Her: Usually people need to do something else to clear their head so they can write. I’m so glad you were here. I can’t thank you enough. You seem so more relaxed. Send me a selfie of the shawl, please, if you don’t mind.

We hugged and I thanked her for the shawl. I told her I’d love to show my shrink the shawl. She offered to tell my shrink about her so she can ship some to her. She only charges for the yarn and maybe a little of the labor, not much because this is a passion for her.

She had considered at one point to homeschool her children. “We’re all foreigners anyway,” she said. I remembered her saying at a certain point. How does she fit the kitting/crocheting? She just does it at night. It’s relaxing, she says. I wonder when she’ll get to write again. Right now she barely has time to read poetry. Kitty suggested she read short stories. Kitty had 2 kids, now grown, and she got divorced at a certain point

Susanna and John were the only ones that I knew what they wrote: both novels. John writes mystery while Susanna writes historical fiction.

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The morning of the Lastours trip we were going to do a crepe breakfast with book swap (we each donate 2 books to the Living Library at La Muse Inn) but we didn’t do it. “Productivity wins,” Kerry said in her email, because she asked if anyone wanted to do it or just work instead in the morning. I didn’t respond but someone apparently did. Kitty and Koty both said they were looking forward to it and were disappointed that they didn’t.

On Friday, the next day, I saw Kitty in the kitchen. “I’m not having a good week,” she said because she hadn’t been writing.

Me (on left): I think Kerry said people wanted to do their work in the morning. Usually they do--

Kitty (on right): --Listen to me. I was never asked, understand? And most of us have been here 3 weeks, okay?

Me: Well, I guess because of the cancelled reservations due to their account being hacked and people coming and going at different times, due to last minute booking...

Kitty: I’m a last minute booking.

Me: I am, too. So, on top of their kids’ school registration being so complicated with tons of paperwork. I guess it’s hard on them--

Kitty:--It’s hard on us, too.

Me: Well, Kerry said that it’s a consensus, most people want it in the afternoon and they can’t do it.

Kitty: Why the Thursday before we’re leaving, then? That’s the only day they’re available?

That was that.

Later one day I asked if she’d ever be back. She must’ve not heard me because she took her food and went out.

I mentioned once that I felt homesick, that the days aren’t moving fast enough. “Oh,” she said, shrugging. It was flying by for her, she said.

I wondered if people were more likely to speak Spanish than English. She shook her head. “They’re protective of their language and don’t want to speak another language.” But I don’t think so. I think they’re no different than anyone else, anywhere. If you have no use for it because of lack of necessity then you wouldn’t speak any other language.

After the Lastours trip we -- Susanna, Kitty, Zoe, Sophia and I met with Kerry in the Mews’ living room. We discussed yarns and patterns of things for Kerry to make (knit/crochet) for us. I picked a shawl, Susanna and Zoe picked a sleeveless sweater. Kitty said “I’m so frustrated!” Because she couldn’t find something she’d like to wear.

Kitty ended up not getting anything.

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I liked Kitty for some reason. I thought she was okay. I only knew her for a week.

Koty, Susanna, Kitty and I went out to Lastours. After the 1st castle, Kitty said she can’t go on and Koty went with her. Susanna and I went on.

At the restaurant, a 5-star Michelin restaurant, we sat outside amidst the wind, nearly blowing peoples’ salad leaves away. Koty and Susanna held down their salad with their forks. Kitty made a request - she asked us if she could take a picture of our food before we ate it so she could show her son, who she kept telling us is a chef. Kitty is from Montreal. She was the only one in our group who spoke some French but she told me she still found it hard to understand French.

She told us that one of us needs to order the chocolate fondue so she can taste it. She had ordered a pre-fix dinner that didn’t include it, but another dessert.

Kitty: I found the people at CarreFour nasty.

Koty: I did, too. Yeah.

Me: I thought they seemed to feel sorry for me when I couldn’t speak French.

Susanna: [says nothing]

All 3 of us -- Susanna, Koty and I -- ordered the same dessert: creme brûlée. Kitty didn’t ask us for a taste.

Before dessert we had lunch. Koty and Susanna had an omelette. Kitty didn’t ask for a taste. But I was about to order boeuf tartare, it was summer. Kitty said that duck is a specialty of the region so is cassoulet. And that I really should have it before I leave. But it’s basically beef stew and it’s 80 degrees! It’s summer! I can’t eat hot stuff in summer. I do wish I went with boeuf tartare but I ended up with the roast duck, which was fantastic. Kitty asked for a taste of my duck so I cut a little bit off which she promptly said was too big a piece. [She had an appetizer that had foie gras, which she offered to anyone, only I accepted a taste.]

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At the welcome dinner, on the day I arrived, I was sleep-deprived AND jet-lagged. I barely functioned. Zoe (in blue pants, sitting on the left) asked if I was a Word Processor when I mentioned my weird hours (7pm-7:30am, at that time, Friday, Saturday and Sunday). As her daughter, Sophia, (standing next to her, in pink, on the left) played with her hair. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I was way too tired. Probably an artist/writer, too, in NY and knows to get these kind of jobs. [Gloria is Kerry and John’s daughter, about the same age as Sophia]. But Kitty asked and Zoe said she’s an attorney and worked at a law firm like the one I worked for. Kitty thought I didn’t seem tired or jet-lagged, that I hid it well. That I seemed quite alert. She was not being facetious. She was serious.

It was a few days before I came to my senses and realized how would someone guess what I did based on my unusual hours. Most people, even artists/writers with proofreading jobs often can’t and don’t guess.

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But then I thought about Kitty.

I told her how few people spoke English in Toulouse: she was surprised.

[Kitty on the left, me on the right]

Me: Well, Americans are monolingual.

Her: Listen to me. Toulouse is a VERY important city. They do a lot of international business there. You could look it up if you don’t believe me.

She also said that Carcassonne is the 2nd most visited tourist spot in Europe, Eiffel Tower is #1. I could look it up if I don’t believe her, in fact I should, she said numerous times. But I told her a French women I met in NY didn’t know what Carcassonne was but knows about Toulouse. “Well, not all New Yorkers know about tourist spots in NY that you don’t know about.” I had nothing to say to that, at the time. But, sure, if something was the number #2 most visited spot in the world, or continent, then I’d know about it. But she often responds with “Listen to me...” and I didn’t want to hear it.

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During breakfast, John came in to ask what train I wanted to take. I told him the 12pm one. It was 10:30. So, he said he’s be back in 20 minutes, to change. At this point I was already packed and ready to go. I was in the midst of washing the dishes.

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So, I made some coffee and breakfast.

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Saturday, September 5, 2015

Well, I’m back, still tired though, from my adventure. My memories of the days get mixed up, they come to me later. Like that discussion of yarns in the Mews’ living room. That was on Thursday, after the Lastours trip.

On Wednesday morning, I got up to make some lunch. Kerry sent an email, asking me when I wanted to leave. I told her I wanted to take the 12pm train. I honestly couldn’t wait to leave. Nothing wrong with the place. It was the anticipation. I knew I had to leave, I just wanted the “had to leave” part to be over when I knew once I left then it was over. I triple-checked to make sure I didn’t forget anything. [On Tuesday afternoon, Kerry emailed to RELAX, after In informed her that the kitchen, dining area, and all the rooms she asked were done.] I didn’t know if I’d be back, if I’d ever travel again due to the isolation. I’d certainly wouldn’t do more than a week there because I don’t think I could handle it, away from the grocery stores, etc. At least that’s what I thought then.

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And I finally get to wear my “happy shoes” - from Gudrun Sjoden.

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Well, at least my favorite dress is ready - I washed it around noon and was worried it wouldn’t be dry tomorrow. And so, I hung it up in from too the window.

Before the end of the afternoon, it was dry! It was quite windy. Now, I’ve got something to wear fro my travel

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The remainder of the day

But that last dinner on Sunday night was the best. All day Monday I got depressed. I was all by myself in this huge house. Most of the day cleaning rooms. Susanna was out getting her 2nd set of groceries. Having lunch and dinner with her was nice but my spirits really plummeted after the other 3 left. I’m quite lonely. I cried today, having my dinner alone. I wanted to have dinner with Susanna but I really didn’t want to disturb her by knocking on her door.

I’m writing from the library which I hadn’t seen anyone in. There are nights when I come downstairs and sit outside, watching the stars. Hoping that someone would want a break to sit and chat about anything, no matter how mundane. Instead, everyone’s in their own rooms.

Susanna is someone I admire. She travels a lot, alone. Isolation doesn’t seem something she worries or is affected by it. She just travels alone many places. I’d like to be like that. She’s a published novelist. Several books. Solitude is something she seems to crave.

I must also admit that I often feel isolated even in NY. I don’t think it’s this place, beyond John and Kerry’s control.

But I did get 16 pages fully inked!

I want to go home. The days don’t seem to fly by as it does for other people. Maybe Toulouse will be better? I don’t know. I do wish I was traveling with someone to show me the ropes. I kind of was just winging it - or thrown into the deep end without a life preserver.

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Kerry crochets and knits every night so she finished some projects for people, including for me -- a shawl/scarf with eyelets. I love it. Black (looks dark grey) with turquoise and lime green.

It overlaps. She did it that way so I wouldn’t need a pi or tie it.

I forget what day it was but she fitted me for it the other day, as I was cleaning - Saturday. And gave it to me on Monday. We chatted briefly before she had to run.

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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

I must admit that I’m disappointed with my stay. I was really hoping for that social atmosphere. I feel as though I didn’t get enough. What’s wrong with me?!

There are moments that I loved: the time last week when we met with Kerry in The Mews’ living room to discuss what she (Kerry) could knit/crochet for us. Kerry was going to get water some tea but her daughter, Gloria, called for her and was getting impatient.

Kitty was “frustrated” because there was nothing Kerry offered that she could feel comfortable wearing. Kitty was much older than us. Maybe 60′s? Most of us were in our 30′s or 40′s.

Kerry showed us yarns and patterns.

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Monday, August 31, 2015

The bartering doesn’t seem so bad BUT I wish I hadn’t done it. Today, I got up late and managed the layout of a couple of pages. And I finished final touches on previous page 12. I’ve checked the pages I’ve did so far, since I came here. Page 4 was what I completed before coming here, 5 and 6 were drawn but not inked. I’ve drawn page 14 but wasn’t inked because I’m tired.

I feel sad today and lonely. The 3 others have left. So, it’s just me and the 4th, Susanna, from England. We talked a bit during dinner. But it’s so lonely. But I feel this way all the time, everywhere, in NY. I miss seeing Kitty from Canada downstairs in the kitchen and on the terrace. I nearly felt like crying.

Right now it’s raining. There was a thunderstorm an hour ago.

Most of the afternoon I was by myself. The others left and Susanna did a shopping trip. I felt so lonely, cleaning the rooms. Although I did see and talk with Kerry. She is very appreciative that I’m here to help. She’s filling out tons of paperwork for her kids’ school, it’s very stressful preparation. So, I’ve cleaned 4 rooms helped her immensely. Tomorrow is the 3rd and final day (which I’ll do at night) minus the vacuuming because it doesn’t seem to work. So, that 5th room is not completely done. But almost.

I’ve packed the things I don’t need. I plan to do some work until I leave so that’s the last to pack, after dirty clothes.

My credit card company sent me an email to inform me of a password change and email address update. I’m concerned now but I can’t call until Thursday when I get back. I hope I can still use the card on Wednesday. I need to get home and get food then! But nothing I can do until I get home.

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Sunday, August 30, 2015

I had the best time of my trip this evening. I thought the hosts were gonna host a “pizza” night for the people leaving tomorrow but that didn’t happen. One of the “Musers” -- people who were staying at the inn -- Kitty, from Montreal, said that never happened throughout her stay here. One of the other “users”, Anita, from China, had suggested to the others that we do our own pot-luck. Goodbye dinner. But she got sick so she couldn’t go. So, Kitty, Susanna (from Brighton, England and leaving next week) and I had one.

I made (European) cucumber soup with yogurt, lemon juice, chives, salt and pepper, olive oil, garlic, walnuts, herbs de provence [top picture]

They loved it. I also donated some creme fraiche for the pasta that Kitty made [bottom picture]: pasta, tuna, tomato, zucchini.

Kitty never made anything with creme fraiche before and now thinks that made a world of difference. She will now cook with it. I asked if she’d be back at La Muse and both she and Susanna said they would. We’ve talked about a lot of things, politics, my job, etc. I don’t know if I’d be back @La Muse. If I do, it would only be for a week - except I’d spend a few days elsewhere before to recover from jet lag. It takes a couple of days to do so.

I got 3 pages (top to bottom) done tonight.

I don’t feel so overwhelmed with my list of chores. Kerry told me I don’t need to do the other cottage. I only got 3 rooms today to do. There’s nothing I can do about it until they (Kitty, Cody, Anita) leave.

Kitty, Susanna and I discussed politics, the illogic of American politics, in particular. “Why doesn’t the US make it a policy to protect women to get back to work from maternity leave?” Kitty asked. “I’m not even saying pay for the maternity leave.” She thought my hours (7pm-7:30am) should be illegal. In Canada, they’d revolt. But they also complained about their respective politics in their countries - Susanna, England; Kitty, Canada.

I had such a great time.