#lame rant but I tried

[vanityxvanitas]

In chapter 152 of the manga, I noticed in the flashback that Sensui already had his ears pierced as a child. When I went to look up the cultural significance, I wasn't able to find anything similar in Buddhism, but I did find the practice of Karna Vedha in Hinduism. Is it possible Sensui comes from a Hindu background in addition to or instead of a Buddhist one?

I don't know who you are but great information, I didn't know about this practice at all. Let's say I'll try my best to answer this with my limited knowledge about Hinduism and Buddhism (might be faulty by the way, as I know very little about Indian cultures and practices in general and don't even have faith in my awareness of Buddhism). Of course, all are heavy assumptions. 

I'm not sure at which stage of life Sensui started wearing earrings so I previously assumed he started in adolescence. I can't see clearly if he wore earrings in the panel of his flashback, and the anime Sensui didn't wear earrings at all so the detail of his earrings was unfortunately dismissed in the anime. Love the anime but such a waste of potential! I don't know what Togashi originally had in mind but such a beautiful and simple character design with those stud earrings (he sometimes forgot to draw Sensui's earrings too). Anyway, it can be any but it depends on whether the family still upholds this tradition, if only we get to know his parents. There might be Indian families in Japan who still practice Karnavedha. If Sensui got the earrings from this tradition, he must've had them from a very young age from how the ritual is described. This is the limit of how I can dig into Karnavedha unfortunately. Linguistic and cultural barriers are strong. 

The words used in association with Sensui in the manga seem more relevant with Buddhism so it's easier to look from that perspective, of course also due to my cultural bias and experiences leans heavily to Sinosphere cultures. Originally, the tradition of having bindi embodied the third eye that provides higher consciousness and extraordinary perception also came from Hinduism as well, so it'll be interesting to interpret him from that perspective (if only my range of knowledge is wider). While symbols of earrings aren't too significant in Buddhism as far as I know, it's sometimes considered a characteristic of a Bodhisattva in which the type of earrings a Bodhisattva wears is 耳璫 (jitou). Personally I've seen more depictions of Buddhist figures without earrings and none of them wear stud earrings. The earrings mentioned in the scriptures aren't stud earrings either. 

Many statues are depicted with elongated earlobes that are sometimes pierced with round earrings (for example, Ratnasambhava or more vividly, Bodhidharma which in a way kinda look like Enso circle in Japanese Zen context?) or having holes in earlobes shaped by gauge/plug earrings from Indian cultural context. There's also a possibility that the marks on Sensui's ears aren't earrings or moles, but holes from earrings. (Eh?) 

Unrelated but Getou Suguru from Jujutsu Kaisen has a more obvious design when it comes to Buddhist reference with how his ears look, large and possibly plugged (but it seems like his earlobes were naturally big?) While monks aren't supposed to have tattoos and earrings because art and decorations in general is a form of attachment, it's fine for normal practitioners to have them, so in a way, earrings can represent Getou's and Sensui's attachments to the world? 

The reason why it's hard for me to imagine Sensui with Hindu background is because his later actions in adulthood didn't reflect what I know about Hinduism, especially when it comes to the concept of God. It's easier to imagine his actions were somewhat learned beliefs and behaviors but, there's also a chance he abandoned Hinduism as the doctrines didn't suit his perspective so I'm trying to look from that perspective. 

In fact, it would be very interesting if Sensui was Hindu (or Sanātanī, I'm not sure what word to use anymore because Hindu is more like an umbrella term covering not just the religion). Unlike the nontheistic Buddhism, Hinduism is both polytheistic and monotheistic at the same time since different deities are as embodiments of Brahman or the embodiment for the metaphysical concept of ultimate reality. In Hinduism, when the soul is free from the saṃsāra, it merges with the essence of that ultimate god thus becomes infinite. If Sensui was Hindu, then there's a chance he actually adored Koenma quite a lot more than if he was Buddhist, because he literally met a mini version of Yama. Also, Hinduism promotes practices to reach perfection in life, maybe that's why he was obsessive with practicing his actions in the first place, especially when such actions were ordered by a holy figure. 

As for Buddhism, Sensui's concept of an angel being covered in seikouki is rather achieved through the accomplishment of oneself rather than being blessed by any divine figure. Anime Sensui also appeared to be more relevant in terms of Hinduism due to this because in the English version, he mentioned how he almost became a god(?). For an example scenario, Sensui was someone who might've started killing before he reached 6 years old, the age when superego started to develop. If he was indoctrinated with the encouragement to practice ‘good deeds’ encouraged by gods, then his anime Sensui criticizing reikai would be much more relevant to how ‘gods’ misdirected him. 

(Excuse me for not watching the entire arc properly in anime without skipping but my bias for manga is too strong. Also, the anime Sensui’s face looked like he needed IV drip all the time, but I swear I like him too. Personally, I just find more possible leeways in manga Sensui who didn't mention much about religions, concepts of gods, or even the system he worked for. In general, the manga Sensui appeared as more ‘suisen’ and enigmatic so…)

Side talk: I remember being quite impressed by the description on a video about India that ‘all gods are one’. Such an impressionable perspective, too bad due to mankind’s interpretations of metaphysical entities that religious conflicts are unavoidable even when peace is strongly promoted. 

One of the reasons why Sensui being a Hindu is that it explains why he felt obligated to fix the problems he caused. While the basic concept is ‘good/bad deeds are followed by good/bad happenings’. Hindu view of karma holds a person responsible for their actions and the effects such actions caused, but in Buddhism karma isn't ‘judged’ but rather just natural and perhaps unpredictable causes and effects. Him defying a mini god could be the action of quitting Hinduism and the doctrinal practices and running away from being judged by whom he distrusted. 

Just like what Raizen said, it's unknown whether reikai/spirit world is the final resting place of souls? I feel like Togashi is very good at building anti-judgemental details when it comes to the existence and divinity, which is why his stories are very multi-dimensional. His actual religious and political stances are unknown so it's my heavy assumption, but I've always felt like while he has a large range of knowledge, he's also very independent from social constructs and doctrines. 

Onto Buddhism. Buddhism (or Zen Buddhism more specifically) traveled through China before getting in Japan, and the one who delivered it to Japan as well as many other places was Bodhisena, a Tamil Brahmin from Madurai. Buddhism and Hinduism both derived from a Vedic philosophy called Sramana, but Buddhism took a distinct direction, and while it reaches very far in the East, has lost its former popularity in India. 

This is from my own knowledge of Buddhism so it can be false or biased, there are thousands of suttas available and too many interpretations anyway. The Buddhist concept of no-self isn't about erasing one's own self/identity, but as in accepting phenomena as the results of causality instead of focusing on the attributes of entities. From what I understand, everything is interconnected (although there's never a confirmation to this in Buddhism to avoid elongate unnecessary debates depending on one’s own definition, so I guess interconnection is just a branch of belief) and holds selves/essences of their own, so the only way to escape from the system is to exist in a manner that detaches oneself from such interconnection without acceptance or rejection of values/ideas. Therefore, refraining from getting attached to worldly matters and letting the noumena exist as they are rather than involving one's mind in the phenomena - neither agree or disagree with it to avoid getting lost in the paradoxical nature of existence. 

This limited understanding about Buddhist theories of mine is why Sensui's choice of reincarnation appeared as impressive to me, because perhaps Shinobu knew he was arrogant (so Minoru existed), a Narcissus/daffodil of a human. He watched Chapter Black because he wanted an answer to what human nature is, it's unknown whether what he saw Chapter Black gave him a quick answer he didn't know yet or somewhat matched his previous suppressed impressions on mankind (because along with complete innocence, there's a chance he knew humans can be bad - from what he said about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ countries - but denied it because he thought humans can strive to be better, which I prefer this interpretation for personal reasons because if he reasoned things himself, then it explained why he refused to turn back). 

Yet, Shinobu didn't care what would happen to ninkai after the portal was opened, as it would be too arrogant to claim he knew for sure how youkai will act. Despite Minoru claiming he was awakened, Shinobu was still seeking an answer and he seized the control of the main and final self despite Kazuma calling Shinobu just another part of the system like any other alter. Maybe Itsuki knew this and focused on Shinobu the most, because Itsuki and possibly Naru were the truest identities whose characteristics were the closest to Sensui's ‘essence’. A good topic will be what Itsuki's stances are but then he's not even a human. 

Especially when La Rochefoucauld regards egoism or self-interest as human’s original instinct, which I personally think that's why while Buddhism seems laxer than other religions at first, the Buddhist attitude of not engulfing in one's ego is rather hard to ‘get it right’ because humility in making an answer for oneself is not enough and seeking answers from divinity is also not the case. This is a very subjective take since religious doctrines are usually metaphorical so interpretations can vary a lot, but I find in comparison, Buddhism is less deterministic than other religions due to such views, emphasizing the freedom to follow a Middle Way instead of choosing between eternalism and nihilism. As someone who viewed Sensui as running around in the cycle of lost and found, I just think it'll be interesting to let him chase after the true awakenings before reaching nirvana. Maybe because I don't pursue nirvana that it feels more interesting to fulfill one's curiosity before seeking liberation from worldly matters, as the universe and existence themselves is simply amusing as a whole. 

In a way, developing other alters and watching over them is also a form of no-self. It can be said that maybe Shinobu felt temporarily free from worldly matters by hiding inside the system and letting others do whatever they did, which was just an act of denial without actual enlightenment. For example, a Buddhist might practice to attain nirvana with residue of mind and body when they're still alive before reaching the final nirvana in death. Shinobu could hide or be forced to detach from his body, but he couldn't escape his mind. The scenario of a failed attempt to attain nirvana is also why I find it more amusing if Shinobu was awake and not asleep like Kazuya said, because those who attained nirvana aren't unconscious but rather meta-conscious of everything yet attached to nothing. He was liberated and trusted the system because they let him be freed from himself and from making possibly wrong decisions, he was chained in the system because he couldn't always trust them and what they did. 

One of main differences lies in the concept of an eternal self or Ātman in early Vedic religion/Hinduism, and the encouragement of no-self or Anattā in Buddhism. In Buddhism, self-identification is a form of attachment, so there’s no need to define what one's essence is. If Sensui actually believed in the eternal self as a Hindu, then his wish to be reborn was indeed a form of repentance, because maybe he was aware that with his mindset derived from his essence, he would live a painful life all over again but as a species the same as his victims. Vice versa, there’s also a chance he ran away from his former beliefs too, it's scary to feel that one's pessimism can be permanent.

Also, perhaps the lack of reassurance of permanence is also a reason why Buddhism is misunderstood as pessimistic? With religions that promise security and reliance like Christianity, followers can feel more security and reliance as their gods watch over their journey.

Actually, when it comes to immortal souls, Jainism is also a possibility but that's a bit far-fetched so it's not mentioned that much here. 

TL:DR: Maybe. I don't even know anymore but interesting suggestion. 

. 

Irrelevant idea: From how he looks, I think he's multi-ethnic or more specifically is mixed with Indian blood, resulting in the cultural remarks and the skin tone and blue eyes in the anime. I'm aware that manga characters have the wildest hair colors, but in real life, blue eyes are available although quite rare among Asians in general but damn, these Indians with blue eyes look so gorgeous. (Delusional talk: Maybe the choice of blue eyes was to make a contrast with Itsuki's orange/yellow eyes by complementary color theory. In that case, they could've made the bindi/urna red to match green.) 

I'm also bi-ethnic so this might sound a bit of a projection, since it explains the reason a foreigner alter like George existed and why Sensui was willing to turn towards youkai instead. Overall, mixed children are less bonded to the concepts of ethnocentrism and chauvinism. There's also an opinion that youngsters these days are more prone to existentialism because they lack strong cultural backgrounds in the age of globalization, so they have to grab on to whatever the zeitgeister appear to be and claim those as their own identities. If Sensui also experienced cognitive dissonance due to distrust in his own family/former boss/species, then it's understandable why he had to developed such distinct alters to secretly cope with the changes. 

I also read a suggestion that Sensui might've been mixed with Western genes which makes him look like that. While it's more likely that the anime chose Sensui's skin tone based on the cover of volume 16, somehow it matches the impression of his design being partly Indian for that urna/bindi on his forehead. (Just an awfully wild guess. Don't bother please.) 

Unrelated but that's also why it's easier follow the scenario that Sensui wasn't really raised by his biological dad but another one whom his mother married, because it gives more leeway to make up stories where his dad wasn't Japanese and just a world-traveling sorcerer who happened to meet his mom then died early. It explains why his family members didn't have the spiritual powers he innately had. Anyway, it's way too far-fetched from the original ambiguous story but that's the best I can come up with for now, maintaining ambiguity is convenient after all. For a dumb scenario, it'll be interesting if Sensui's advantages of genetic lottery came from eugenics though, with his ancestors preferring to choose people with strong spiritual powers to marry. It'll be an interesting battle of ‘my genes are better than you’ between Sensui and Yuusuke if that was the case. (What?) 

Actually, when I read this again, it has very little to do with Hinduism and seems to have strayed a bit far from the original topic so sorry about that. (Thanks to this idea I have like 3 versions of how Sensui's pasts possibly can be and honestly I can even stick to one option, but then that happens a lot…) 

Unrelated but I've always found Indian dances beautiful in a way that the movements look immaculate and powerful in comparison with East Asian dances. Kali Sensui and Shiva Itsuki in which Itsuki got himself hit to stop Sensui from destroying things? (Too delusional! Time to shut up.) 

[cloudd-nyne]

.

[localicecreambiter]

chat, thoughts on the echoes of wisdom soundtrack?

[kalitheinksimp]

Erm....what is she doing in that alleyway??

[calumcxke]

CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE

yang jungwon x fem!reader

SUMMARY: your rich boyfriend- who you never thought you would have a chance with- loves to spoil you. even with the smallest things.

WARNINGS: none just really fluffy and they’re both down bad for each other

wc: 1.9k

notes! this is mainly based on a dream i had about ricky from zb1 LMAOO so sorry if it’s a bit unrealistic and tooth-rottingly fluffy, this was also RUSHED, i know i usually write about txt but i’ve been on such an enhypen kick lately and i loveeeee jungwon

yang jungwon was rich. if that was even the right word for it.

with a prestigious father- who was rumored to be one of the reasons he got into snu- his whole family was loaded.

he walked around campus like he owned it. realistically speaking, he could probably buy it if he wanted to. everyone knew him. and his friend group. jungwon, jake, and heeseung were some of the most well known people at school.

you, on the other hand, were not. it’s not like no one knew you. you were known, just not popular. not like jungwon. you had friends, aka sunoo, soobin, and karina.

which is why it was a bit weird when jungwon had taken a liking to you. it wasn’t anything special at first. just small smiles exchanged in passing, but it was still enough to have you running off and telling your friends what had happened. they, of course, told you to make a move. you refused. that’s too scary. making a move on the most popular- and the hottest- guy in school? you would rather crawl into a hole.

you didn’t have to worry too much about making the first move, though. a few days later jungwon caught you at the end of class, falling in step next to you as he asked for your number.

you almost disintegrated into a puddle on the spot, masking your shock as you sputtered out a yes, putting your contact into his phone. you tried to ignore how soft his voice was, or how intense his eye contact was, or the way he smiled at you, or how cute his dimples were, or- you were down bad.

when you told your friends, they nearly lost their minds. karina was jumping around you, before sunoo concluded this called for a night out. you still think he just wanted an excuse to eat out. but alas, you spent the whole night making a plan. or, they spent the whole night making a plan while you sat there daydreaming about the dimple-y, cat-eyed boy who you had spoken to earlier that day.

it started out as just exchanging texts back and forth. you tried not to be awkward, but you always were with new people. plus, you were talking to yang jungwon. if things got awkward, you brought up school. lame, but it was the only thing you knew you had in common with him.

you don’t remember when, but the texts turned into calls, then late night facetimes. looking forward to calling him at night, checking your phone constantly with every notification. smiling when you saw his name pop up on your phone. then he asked to hang out.

in person.

you felt like a part of you glitched when he asked, his smile lighting up your phone screen in the dark. you said yes, obviously. what you didn’t expect was for jungwon to say he was on his way, asking you to meet him outside the library in ten minutes. you still said you would be there, immediately calling karina once you hung up, screaming to her about what was about to happen. she calmed you down, but she was just as excited as you.

you cleaned up as best as you could without looking like you were trying too hard, listening to karina’s advice on how to act before you were rushing out the door, shaking from the cold air whipping against you and your nerves.

the night was fun. you two spent it walking around, giggling with each other about stores you could think of. you learned even more about him. he went on a rant about how good aladdin was while you stared at him with an endeared look. the night ended with you two hand in hand, your fingers intertwined and arms swinging as he walked you back to your dorm.

you two stood outside your door awkwardly, you shifting your weight from foot to foot before telling him goodnight. with a surge of braveness, you were on your tippy toes and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. you watched the surprised look on his face that he replaced with a smile soon after, his cheeks turning a pretty pink.

you turned around to go back into your apartment before a hand on your wrist stopped you. you didn’t have time to process what was happening until you were being turned around and his lips were on yours. he pulled away with a shy smile on his mouth, his dimples poking through as he backed away, whispering a goodnight before he was walking off. you stood in a daze, unsure of how this was reality. you finally stuttered out a goodnight, entering your dorm calmly before you were jumping up and down with silent screams, immediately calling sunoo, soobin, and karina. safe to say they had to listen to you rant for about two hours.

that’s basically how it all started. to this day, two months in, there was only a handful of people who knew. jake and heeseung knew, along with your friends. your friend groups had meshed slightly, although you didn’t hang out much at school. at night and off campus were when you would all get together. you and jungwon in your own world, while everyone else conversed with each other.

right now, you were walking along the sidewalk, soobin, sunoo, and karina in front of you while you and jungwon trailed behind, fingers intertwined as you walked to your favorite shake shop. you had been looking forward to it since you woke up, imagining the cold chocolate shake invading your tastebuds throughout every lecture.

“what’re you gonna get?” you asked, turning your head to face jungwon, his eyes meeting yours as he thought.

“whatever you get,” he replied with a smile, his dimples poking through.

“don’t get what i get, get what you want,” you giggled, rolling your eyes at him playfully.

“i like chocolate shakes,” he spoke, your eyes widening slightly at his sentence.

“you remember my order?” you asked, your lips hanging open as you stared at him.

he laughed, turning his head away from you to face forward again, “it’s not like you haven’t been talking about it all day.”

oh. that’s right. you laughed awkwardly, mumbling out a ‘sorry’ as you looked forward again. he gave your hand a squeeze, laughing along with you. a comfortable silence fell upon you two, listening to your friends converse in front of you. there was no need to keep talking to fill the silence. just being around each other was enough.

your eyes lit up as your favorite shake place came into view, the light brown and orange shack standing on its own off of the sidewalk, four little steps leading up to the window where you placed your order. you smiled brightly, subconsciously picking up your steps as you dragged jungwon along behind you. sunoo laughed at the two of you, pointing you out to soobin and karina, who could only roll their eyes with smiles on their faces.

you skipped up the steps to the entrance, turning around to see your friends right behind you. you sent them a toothy smile, pulling out your wallet, “i’ll cover us today!”

you tried to ignore the smile jungwon sent you, or the heat that rose to your cheeks as you spun back around to greet the girl behind the counter, smiling brightly at her, “hi! can i get one- sorry, two chocolate shakes,” you paused as she put the drinks in, looking back up at you, “and then just whatever they want.”

you gestured to your friends behind you, stepping out of the way so they could place their orders. you bounced slightly on your heels, biting your bottom lip as you gave jungwon a cheeky smile, too excited for your shake to function properly. was it embarrassing to get this excited over a chocolate shake? probably. you didn’t care.

when everyone finished ordering, you stepped back up to the counter, pulling your wallet out of your bag and reaching for your card. you looked back up just in time to see jungwon leaning against the counter, sending you a cocky smile as he placed his card on the card reader, before turning his head to smile at the girl, taking the receipt from her.

your jaw dropped, a pout forming on your lips as you looked up at him, “i was gonna pay for it.”

he huffed out a laugh, squeezing one of your cheeks before shoving his card back in his wallet, heading to lean against the wall by your other friends, “it’s no big deal.”

you couldn’t fight the smile that was threatening to creep on your lips, you steps quickly catching up to him as you stood in front of him, “you didn’t have to do that.”

truthfully, you knew it was nothing to him. $40 was practically like a penny to him, it wouldn’t affect him in any way. when he said it wasn’t a big deal, it truly wasn’t. you still couldn’t help yourself from feeling bad when he bought stuff for you, though. you didn’t want to seem like the girlfriend that leeches off of her rich boyfriend.

“baby,” he started, a smile on his lips as he reached for your hands, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles as he continued, “i would buy you anything. no matter how many zeros are at the end.”

you didn’t know what to say back. your mouth opened and closed, his words effectively shutting you up as your cheeks turned a bright red. you didn’t expect those words to leave his mouth.

smirking at your flustered reaction, he continued, leaning closer to your face as he whispered, “whether it be two zeros,” he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, moving over to the other one, “three zeros”. another kiss.

he pulled back slightly, a soft smile on his lips as one hand left yours to grab your chin, tilting your head up to meet his, “six zeros.” he pressed his lips against yours, a soft, lingering kiss that had you reeling, his words making your mind spin.

when he pulled away, you couldn’t help the words that spilled from your mouth, “you would spend a million dollars on me?”

he simply laughed, pulling the hand he was still holding so your chest collided with his, wrapping his arms around you, “i would spend all my money on you.”

you smiled, snuggling your head into his chest as you whined, your cheeks burning, “don’t say stuff like that,” you mumbled out, your voice muffled against his shirt.

“why?” he asked simply, and you felt him shrug as he rested his head on top of yours before he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, “it’s the truth.”

and suddenly, the chocolate shake didn’t seem as important, nor did anything else around you. just spending this moment with jungwon, wrapped in his arms, practically surrounded by him, simply being there with him- was all that was on your mind.

all you knew was that he was as down bad for you as you were for him, and that somehow made you fall more in love with him, tilting your head up slightly to press a soft kiss against his neck before mumbling, “you have to let me buy you dinner tonight, though.”

he snorted out a laugh, wrapping his arms tighter around you, “yeah, right.”

[aspiringjester]

I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING (cumplane) BUILDING AGAIN

anyways I need a regular world au where people know what SQH looks like bc idk he tried to make it on social media as a writing influencer or did live streams or something BUT he has no idea what peerless cucumber looks like bc bro is ANONYMOUS

SQH is picturing between the username and the vitriolic comments about how awful the porn is that he's either some bitchass teenager or a middle aged man with nothing better to do and he seems to be So Annoyed at being called his "cute hater/#1 fan" so if course he has to be something lame right? Right?

imagine SQH's (horny) shock when they meet through whatever slapstick circumstances follow these two clowns every day of their lives and mr hater is in fact the Prettiest Twink he's seen in a MINUTE and is so easily flustered and quick to be a BITCH to him--

yeah no he needs to make this cute pretty thing his IMMEDIATELY lmao

SY of course has no idea and thinks all the time this hack author is staring at him in silence while he rants means he's making Flawless Arguments and SQH simply has nothing to fight back with so TAKE THAT HAHA YOU DUMBFUCK AUTHOR

(he doesn't get a clue for a While)

[asukiess]

I think ml is best enjoyed when we all agree we watch an extremely flawed show and yet realize that most everyone just. deeply loves these characters. so many people have been watch for 5+ years—that’s a lot of emotional and life investment.

I think ppl who are overjoyed about the setup or feel at least alright with the s5 ending should talk about it; I think ppl who feel extremely let down, confused, or all around disappointed should talk about it. honestly the whole conversation has been pretty stunted the last few months which surprised me; I expected these conversations to be had july 2nd lol. and yet I think everyone has been pretty respectful to each other. I love seeing everyone’s opinion!! if someone asks for discussion or wants to see a different POV, then I think that’s great!! sometimes people just want to rant or rave though. some people will post to start an intentional discussion; some people won’t (and that’s ok!)

and if you’re someone who tries to intentionally knock someone else’s happiness with the ending, you’re lame. if you try and engage with someone who isn’t happy with it and only try and convince them as a way to “win” or you somehow feel they “don’t get it” in a very derogatory way, you’re lame. go read a fic and take a nap. there’s a lot of fun to be had in fandom so no reason to create grief lol.

[majesticarlette]

Enemies

Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir x Ladybug!Reader

"Surrender your Miraculous, Chat Noir!" You shouted as you glare at him from above on top of the Eiffel Tower.

"Dream on, Ladybug." He smirked and fires multiple Cataclysms in your direction. You used your yo-yo as a shield to protect yourself and fled the Eiffel Tower.

The city of Paris is once again troubled by a megakuma and after you just de-evilized the butterfly, a wild Chat Noir appeared. It's exhausting to deal with two birds with one stone but it's worth it. He was able to expand his powers, making the fights between you more difficult. He could fire multiple but limited cataclysms now. If he expanded his own powers, you sure also did. It's only fair to fight a lion if you're also a lion.

Chat Noir followed you as you escape the Eiffel Tower. Fortunately, he isn't as sharp as a knife, and with your street-smarts, you were able to lose him.

"This is taking too long, I have a date later." You groaned and you activated your second lucky charm, and it gave you a superglue. At this point, you're not going to question how it is used, but to figure out what to do about it fast.

You came back to where the fight was and scanned the environment, and you didn't spot anything to use the superglue with.

"You sure ain't good at hiding, huh, Ladybug?" You turned around and saw Chat spinning his baton, and you finally knew how to end this thing at once.

"Eh, you didn't even catch up to me given your cat abilities. Lame." You rolled your eyes trying to provoke him. He charges at you, and you two get into a fight worse than a catfight.

You love angering the cat in front of you, and the way he's slowly losing his cool from you dodging his scratches satiates an itch in your brain. You don't really hate him in the beginning, you actually wanted to cooperate with this kitty but something about the two of you just don't click. He doesn't plan his punches, he's impulsive, arrogant, doesn't like getting told what to do, and claiming he's a solo flight in fights.

Even actual cats don't behave this way, they won't exert much energy for this crap. Ugh!

Chat Noir growls and starts exerting more strength in his moves trying to bring you down.

"Oh... I see sweat, Kitty. Are you having a hard time? You think you're the only cat who's gonna lose to a bug?" You laugh earning a yell of rage from him. At this point in the fight, you're just dodging his offenses and waiting for a sign to use your lucky charm.

"You think you're all that?! You can't even defeat the megakuma by yourself!"

"Please, you think you did anything? You acted like a cat who broke a glass and thinks he did something great. In short you made it way worse!" He managed to scratch your suit earning a clean incision on your arm. You flinched at the sensation and let out a gasp.

Distracted, Chat Noir took this advantage to reach his staff from behind. He extended it to knock you out of the fight.

You flew from the impact and held onto his staff. You groaned from the pain and checked yourself from any more damages. As you were standing up, Chat Noir used his extended staff to knock you out of your balance, once again falling on your ass.

He chuckled at your state retracting his staff. "You think highly of yourself--"

"And you don't?!--" You hiss

"Shh! I'm talking!" He glared at you. "This is why you're so hard to deal with, you're so stubborn!" As he was about to rant his troubles about you, he saw you wiping blood from your injured arm. His eyes grew wide, did he cause this? If he did... Why would he even care? You deserved it! You don't believe in him! Is it deep, though? It might get infected...

He shook his thoughts and tried to put his staff back but it won't budge. He furrowed his eyebrows and held onto the other end to try and get it off the other but both ended up stuck. He groans in annoyance while putting much force to get it off, yet no luck.

You laughed at the scene and stood from where you were. "I told you, you don't plan ahead. I guess curiosity really killed the cat." You used your yo-yo strings to wrap around his ankles and yanked him up on the street lamp.

"Admit defeat?" You held up the super glue you used on his staff and pinched the cheeks of his upside down face. He only furrowed his brows further. "You know your face could get stuck on that expression--" As things were getting your way, beeping was heard from the two of you. "Not now!" You retracted your yo-yo from him. "This isn't over!" You ran away, leaving him on his own.

You let out a sigh after de-transforming back to your civilian self. You were exhausted from fighting two people today. Why can't Chat Noir surrender his miraculous so you can give it to the person who deserves it, like Marinette! Why did Master Shifu give it to him to begin with?

Your thoughts were interrupted when your phone was alarmed. "Oh, no! I totally forgot!" You really need to have a hero/life balance, how will you get to know your other half if you always prioritize hero duties?

You ran your heart out to the park to meet your date today. Panting, you scanned the area to see any signs of him but he was nowhere to be seen. Yeah, he already went home, it's really rude to make your date wait for a while, he might've felt embarrassed.

Sighing for the second time, you turned around and decided to walk home. "(Y/n)! Wait!" The familiar voice alerted you and looked around for the source, and there you saw him, Adrien. He was running towards you.

"I'm sorry, I was late! We hid from the megakuma and only stepped out when it was clear." He panted, catching his breath. Yeah, you and Chat Noir really contributed to his lateness.

"Are you okay? Were you hurt from the villain?" He cupped your cheeks checking you for any injuries.

"N-no! I'm fine, really!" You tucked your hair behind your ear, feeling flustered by his presence.

Little did you know, Adrien noticed your arm injury. It's really identical to what he did to Ladybug.

Yeah, you did not only forget one thing.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Love you, love you, love you...

Summary: You go into your arranged marriage already distrusting your husband and all other men, and despite him repeatedly attempting to gain your favor, you are resolved to rebuke him at every turn. Will you manage to keep up the walls you’ve built to protect yourself, or will prince Beomgyu succeed in getting through your defenses?

Word Count: 11k

General warnings: oc is basically a misandrist, she will not hear gyu out, her calling him a pinhead, gyu using the word rape (no one actually gets raped), oc being a bitch about their first time and making fun of gyu’s hesitance, oc is emotionally stunted, inaccurate description of first times, beomgyu and others calling him a sissy, arranged marriages. 

Smut warnings: sub!gyu, dom!reader, riding, cunnilingus, masturabtion under guidance, edging, premature ejaculation, breeding kink, playing with nipples. 

 

“We don’t have to do this.” 

You stand in front of your newly-wedded husband, livid. 

“You think I’m too fragile to consummate my marriage?” 

“No, I–” He attempts to explain himself but you cut him off. “Just because I was forced into this marriage doesn’t mean I can’t fulfill my duties.” You growl, offended by how weak he must think you are. 

“I was just saying that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He stammers, trying to recover from his unintended offense, and you snort derisively. “It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?” 

He gulps and shakes his head. “I know you didn’t want to get married to me but I can do right by you. I will never–”

You roll your eyes, drowning out his yapping. This is your least favorite breed of men–the ones who pretend they’re not like the others. Had you been less jaded, you might’ve fallen for it, but when your own father sold you out to the highest bidder, you’d be forgiven for your lack of faith in men. 

“Shut up and take off my dress.” You cut him off. 

“You really–” He tries again and you snap, all patience gone. “Fucking do it, you sissy.” 

His jaw smacks shut and he levels you with a glare. There it is, that male aggression you’re so familiar with. He storms over to you and clumsily undoes the intricate lacing on your wedding dress, struggling with them for some time until he finally, finally pushes the dress off and it falls to the ground at your feet. 

But no further movement comes from him and you turn around to see him sheepishly looking at the floor, avoiding glancing at your bare body. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” You grunt, reaching out to take his own clothing off. He lets you do it without a fight, the only protest being his flaming red cheeks. 

You let out a laugh when you pull his pants to the floor and are greeted by the sight of his hard cock that smacks against his naked belly. “All this protest, trying to act virtuous, when you’re just as horny as the rest of the pigs.” 

That gets him angry. Good, at least it’s not fake righteousness. “I am not a pi–ah!” 

Whatever his rant was going to be is quickly cut off when you grab his cock and pump it in your hand. “You can pretend all you want but your body says it all.” 

“What? So I’m a pig for being attracted to my wife?” He manages to grit out, calling you out for your judgment of him, but you’re not interested in having this conversation right now. 

“Shut up.” You throw back lamely, getting onto the bed and spreading your legs out. “Come on, let’s get this over with.” 

But he remains rooted to his spot, scowl full-fledged on his handsome face now. “I don’t want to feel like I’m raping my own wife.” 

“Either way I have no choice.” 

“Then I’ll make the choice for us. I can sleep in a different room.” He announces, bending down to pick up his discarded clothes and you panic. Yes, you didn’t want to get married to him in the first place, but the rumors that will spread about you if people find out that your husband fled your marital bed on your wedding night,–you shudder to think of it. It’s one thing to be viewed as a pariah among your peers, but it’s another thing entirely to fuel their outlandish claims. 

“I want this!” You exclaim frantically, blushing as he gives you an incredulous look. “I want you to fuck me.” 

His will seems to weaken for a second, and he looks like he’s about to give in, but then the doubt sets in again. “You don’t really–”

At your wit’s end, you reach out to grab his arm and tug him towards you, causing him to basically stumble on top of you on the bed. 

“I’m–I’m so sorry–” He quickly apologizes even though it was clearly your fault, and he props himself up on his elbows so he’s not pressed against you. Though he curiously doesn’t stand back up, and there is one particular part of him you can feel pressed against your belly, still hard. 

“I want you to fuck me, Beomgyu.” You repeat firmly, and maybe it’s the close proximity or the feel of your skin against his hot dick, but he finally gives in. “Okay.” 

He wedges a hand between your bodies. You can’t see what he’s doing but you know he had grabbed his cock because a moment later you feel it pressed against your pussy. Harshly, you will down a shiver that tries to slither its way up your spine at the touch. 

But the strange sense of excitement is short-lived, lost in the clumsiness of the man above you trying and failing to find your entrance. 

“I just–it’s hard to see–” He explains awkwardly, pulling back to get a better look. You can’t refrain from rolling your eyes at the pitiful scene, which only makes him more nervous. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” You groan after a while of watching him fumble around with his dick, pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him. He stares at you, wide-eyed, as you grab his dick and line it up with your entrance before you start to sink down on him. 

Your outburst may have been more powerful if you didn’t then stop one-third of the way down because of the pain. “Oh.” 

Beomgyu notices your discomfort and reaches out to hold you up. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine.” You grit, forcing yourself to take more of him. 

“Wait–take it slow–” He wheezes out, even as he clearly fights to not get lost in the feeling of your hot cunt. 

“I can take it.” You tell yourself more than him, bracing yourself as you take the rest of him in. Once you’re perched on his hips, you give yourself a moment to get used to the painful stretch. Beomgyu on the other hand is in ecstasy, his breathing heavy and his fingers clenching around your plush thighs to keep himself in check. 

Seeing him so affected by you like this is what begins to lift the shock of the pain and allows you to feel a bit of pleasure as you will yourself to relax. He just lies there all pliant and still beneath you, not once using his grip on you to make you move despite you clearly feeling his hips twitch with the attempt to hold back from thrusting up into your heat. 

“Are you a virgin?” You ask, intrigued by his reactions, and his affirmative response is a given. “Yeah…” 

If any other man had claimed virginity, especially a wealthy, privileged man like him, you would’ve called bullshit, but with him you one hundred percent believe it. 

Finally feeling like you’re ready to move, you start swiveling your hips over him, trying to stretch yourself out in preparation for more. “Is it everything you imagined it to be?” 

He shakes his head, and for a second you have to contend with the ugly feeling his rejection sparked in you. But then he continues, “It’s better.” 

You scoff. Liar. You’re barely even moving. Why is he bullshiting you? What does he stand to gain from that? Whatever, you’ll give him something to really make his head spin. 

Bracing your hands onto his tummy, you lift your hips up before letting yourself drop down. 

“Oh god.” The breath whooses out of him, and you’re surprised to find that the action actually sparks a tiny bit of pleasure in you too. So you do it again and again, moving up and down until you’re all out riding his cock. 

“That good?” You coax, trying not to think about why you even feel the need to have him affirm his enjoyment to you. 

“Too good.” He answers tightly, biting his lip. You feel his grip move from your thighs to your ass, getting more purposeful as he tries to control your movement. “Slow down.” 

Like hell you will when it just started getting good. You grab his hands and pin them down beside his head. "Keep those here, understand?" You hiss at him. You won’t let him try to control you

He whimpers, nodding, and something about his easy submissiveness makes your pussy clench. But that seems to spur him on again, and his hands shoot out to grab you once more. “Hold on!”  

You snatch his hands up and shove them onto the bed again, keeping them pinned down this time. "Shut up." He might be the man but he doesn’t get to tell you what to do. This isn’t for his enjoyment. This is purely for the purpose of fully consummating your marriage. You want this to be over as fast as possible. 

Except you didn’t expect it to be over this fast. 

“You don’t understand, I–I–” He flounders, and suddenly you feel something warm paint your insides and you stare incredulously at the panting man under you, clearly in the throes of orgasm. 

"Fuck, did you cum already?"

"I'm sorry. I asked you to slow down." He answers pathetically and you look down at him in disgust. Well, there goes any hope of you getting off tonight. Not that you expected it in the first place. 

"Whatever. This is better anyway." You go to hop off him but he reaches out and one of your arms. “Wait. I can make it up to you.” 

“How?” You ask skeptically.

"Let me make you cum."

Let’s see, do you want him to clumsily try to fuck you to orgasm for the next few minutes before he inevitably ejaculates prematurely once more? 

"No, I'm tired." You shoot him down, disinterested, but he doesn’t give up, grabbing onto you tighter and peering up at you earnestly. "Please, just give me a chance."

It’s clear that he won’t give this up. It’s probably gonna take longer to convince him to leave you alone than it will for him to try and fail to make you orgasm. So with a heavy sigh, you lie down on your back, closing your eyes and willing yourself away from this moment.  "Fine. You have one chance." 

But your eyes snap back open when you feel something wet against your pussy, and look down to see him with his head between your legs, licking you. 

Most men would never do this. They just feel entitled to getting their dicks sucked while acting like it's so gross to repay the favor. But here is Beomgyu eating you unreservedly after he just came inside you. Either he's really not as bad as the others or he's a fucking freak. Probably the latter. Definitely the latter, but that doesn’t mean you can't take advantage of it. 

Beomgyu clearly doesn't know what he's doing, clumsily licking at your pussy like it's a tart, but that's okay. You can guide him through it. That would end this sooner and you might actually get an orgasm out of it. 

"Flatten your tongue out and lick from the bottom to the top." You instruct and he eagerly obeys, licking from your entrance to your clit again and again, his eyes never leaving your face as he monitors your reaction.

“Yeah, just like that.” You encourage, starting to feel a twinge of pleasure at the pit of your stomach. “Now wiggle your tongue. Good… go back to licking.” 

You guide him, making him alternate between sharp quick movements and long languid licks along your whole slit. Every once in a while, he’d pull his tongue back in his mouth to wet it and his lips would pucker and he would suck on your sensitive pussy, making your whole body tremble. It doesn’t take him long to notice, and then he starts doing it on purpose, more frequently, sucking your lower lips or you clit into his mouth before letting them go and attacking them with sharp swipes of his tongue then licking up all the arousal his actions produce. 

You hate how quickly he picks it all up, reducing you to a shaking mess in no time. 

Nearing your end, you grab his hair and push his face against your pussy. “I’m close. Focus on the clit now.” 

He moans at that, the sound traveling straight through your pussy, and it's the push you need to cum, crying out and tugging sharply on his hair as your orgasm shakes through you. Beomgyu doesn’t mind the roughness. On the contrary, it motivates him to nuzzle further into your pussy, encouraged by your reaction and fishing for more, until you tug his hair in the opposite direction, moving him away from you. 

"Beomgyu, enough." You squeak at the overstimulation, and he whines in protest, trying to fight against your grip to dive back in but you close your legs, denying him. 

He whines again but settles on pressing wet kisses against your heated thighs, looking up at you like a pup who just finished playing and is now resting on his master's lap, and just as adorable. 

At that final disturbing thought, you push him off you and get up to grab something to slip on. Beomgyu doesn’t make any attempt to do the same, his eyes glued to your figure as you put a nightgown on. 

"Aren't you going to get dressed?" You ask, trying not to glance at his naked body that he doesn’t even try to cover. 

He shrugs. "It's too hot." 

"Well, I'd prefer if you put something on. I don't want to sleep in the same bed as a naked man." 

He looks at you like you’re being ridiculous. "We're married. We just fucked." He says slowly and you put your hands on your hips, not appreciating the way he's speaking to you like you’re stupid.

"Yeah, and now we're done. I don't want to see your floppy dick anymore." 

"It wasn't floppy." He frowns, upset at the way you're speaking about his precious dick. Typical man, the slightest suggestion that you wouldn't be grateful to see his dick hurts his pride. 

But he gets up nonetheless, quickly putting some pants on before rejoining you on the bed. He doesn’t wear a shirt and you don’t bother fighting him on this. You just turn your back to him and close your eyes, determined to go to sleep quickly and end this ridiculous night. 

But any thought of sleep is stolen from your tired brain when you feel arms wrapping around you. "What the hell are you doing?" You ask him incredulously and he stammers in response, clearly not expecting you to object to the action. "I–I just thought we could… cuddle." 

You can see the blush on his face even in the dim light. "No. No. There will be none of that. I’ve fulfilled my duty as a wife already so keep your hands to yourself." 

His face falls, hurt crashing across it, and you’re suddenly hit with the sickening realization of what's going on here. 

Beomgyu likes you. 

It should've been obvious. From the way he looks at you, to wanting to make sure you don't do anything you don't want to, to striving to please you too, and now to trying to hold you to sleep. 

Well, too bad. You don't owe him love. 

You turn your back on his dejected expression. Just because he ate you out doesn’t mean you’ll start playing at being in love. 

________________

But you learn that Beomgyu isn't so easily deterred, and he seems determined to chip away at your walls brick by brick. Though, you’re just as determined and as soon as he takes one away, you put ten in its place. 

“Darling.” 

You wince as you hear your husband’s voice call out. Damn it, he’s found you. 

He trots down to you like an excited puppy, entirely too happy to be seeing you. He can’t actually be this excited to be around you despite your constant rejection of him, can he? Why isn’t he out there with the rest of the men doing whatever the men do? 

“Oh, you’re playing chess? Can I play next?” 

“Sure. I’m done anyway.” You say, getting up and getting hit by the most puppy-like pout you’ve seen on a human. “But I thought we could play a game together.” 

“I’m tired. I want to lie down.” You lie, wanting to get away from him, but your treacherous friend chooses now to pipe up. “Oh, come one. Play a game with him. Or are you scared he’ll beat you?”

Damn her, she knows how to get to you. You know she’s doing this purely because she’s been sucked in by your husband’s guileless act and she’s been consistently trying to get you to give him a chance, telling you that maybe he really isn’t like other men. You should pick better friends. 

You huff and plop back down on your chair, your friend grinning widely as she gets up and lets Beomgyu take her spot. Whatever, you’ll beat his stupid ass and humiliate him so bad, he’ll show his true colors. Men never like to be bested by the women they look down on. 

But to your horror and utter dismay–after an embarrassingly short game where you flounder and fail to mount any meaningful attack against him–Beomgyu ends up beating. And he does it with a smile too, like it was so easy, like he was beating a child. 

“Checkmate.” He claps his hands happily. “I’m pretty good, huh?

You don’t reciprocate his excitement. Instead you level him with a cold look that projects all your shame and self-doubt into hatred and accusation towards him. "You think you're better than me?"

All semblance of joy is suddenly sucked out of him, his eyes widening in alarm. “No! I was just–”

“Let’s play again. I will beat you this time.” You pointedly assemble the pieces back on the board, slamming them into place, face set in a severe frown. 

“I just wanted us to have fun together doing something you enjoy. Maybe impress you…” He mumbles but it’s all background noise to you, already formulating a plan of attack in your mind. 

You win the next game, but you draw no satisfaction from it. How can you when your opponent clearly wouldn’t fight back? He misses obvious plays, leaves himself vulnerable to easy attacks, and his moves are devoid of the quit wit he displayed earlier. 

“Take this seriously, dammit.” You yell at him after you win once again because he just wouldn’t attack your pieces. 

Take me seriously. A voice pipes up from deep within your unconsciousness before you squash it back down. 

“Not everything is a competition.” He huffs glumly and you stare at him incredulously. “It is a competition, pinhead. That’s the definition of a game.” 

“Haven’t you heard of a friendly game?” He asks, a hint of sharpness you’re not used to from him tinging his voice. 

“We’re not friends.” You answer dumbly, and he scoffs softly. “Clearly.” 

He gets up and you gawk at him. “Where the hell are you going?”

“I’m done. God forbid I accidently make you actually have fun.” 

“Hey, I have fun!” You shout, getting up too, and he has the audacity to roll his eyes. “Yeah? When?” 

“All the fucking time.” You lie through your teeth, for some reason feeling like you need to prove yourself to him, like you need to best him at something, but he still doesn’t believe you. 

“Show me then. Let’s do something fun.” 

“Sure! Let’s go to–let’s check out the–let’s–let’s–” You stammer and he gives you a skeptical look. “Oh, fuck off. Like you have a blast every day.” 

“I do, actually.” He straightens up, happy with himself for some reason. 

“Oh yeah, then show me what you do that is so fun.”

_______________________

‘You deeply regret challenging him,’ you think as you watch the idiot that is now perched onto a tree branch, grabbing a rope that is dangling from higher up on the ancient tree. 

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” You yell, craning your head up to look at him. 

“Well, then at least you’ll be happy.” He comments off-handedly and you frown. You wouldn’t be happy if he hurt himself. Yes, you didn’t want to get married to him, but that doesn’t mean that you wish the idiot any actual harm. 

Before you can think whether to refute his words out loud, he clings onto the rope and takes off into the air, swinging over the lake under him before letting go and plummeting down into it with a big splash. 

“Oh my god!” You scream, frantically peering over the edge of the water, scanning the outpour of bubbles for signs of your dumb husband. 

After what felt like eternity, he resurfaces, whooping in excitement. “Whoah, that was awesome!” 

You give him a skeptical look, eyeing the water warily, when he pipes up again, “Try it. You’ll love it!”

“Yeah, no thanks.” You dismiss him quickly, having absolutely no desire to willingly follow him into the murky lake. 

“What’s wrong? Scared you might actually have fun?” He goads. 

Yes, you’re scared. Not of having fun, but of the ominous water. You’ve never been a big fan of swimming, not trusting your fate to the fickle gods that control those menacing depths. But you’d never tell him that. You’d rather die than admit to him you’re scared of an activity he performs so nonchalantly. 

So you steel yourself and head towards the tree he had jumped off earlier, taking off your dress to get it out of the way before climbing onto the thing. 

"Do you need help?" He calls out, swimming towards you. 

"No, thanks, I'm not a damsel in distress." You snark, grabbing onto the tree firmly and using the branches to pull yourself up. 

You can feel his eyes on you the whole way, no doubt waiting for you to fail and call for help, but he's got another thing coming if he thinks you’re a weak girl who needs a man's help to do anything physical. 

"Whoa, look at you go." His laughing voice wafts up to you and you can't tell if his surprise is good-natured or condescending. 

The climb is easy enough. You’re used to doing such physical activities, much to the chagrin of your parents who always urged you to act more ladylike and stop embarrassing them. 

'Well, fuck them, and fuck him,’ you think triumphantly as you reach the large branch he jumped off. But your triumph is short lived, promptly snuffed out by the sight of the cold abyss underneath you. 

He must've seen the dread on your face because he calls out once again. "Hey, you okay?" 

You shift your gaze from the water to his face, and the uncertain look on his face annoys the fuck out of you. You will not have him doubt you. You will not show weakness.

You grab onto the hanging rope, cringing at the slimy feel under your skin, but you power through your disgust and your fear, clinging onto the slippery thing as you swing forward. 

But can’t get yourself to let go, the dreary water swirling underneath you compelling you to cling tighter to the rope. 

"You gonna jump or what?" Beomgyu laughs and you almost don't hear him through the beating of your own heart in your ears. Still, you don't let go despite his provocation, your fingernails digging into your palms and your muscles burning as you continue to clutch onto the rope tightly. 

"Hey, don't worry. I'm right here." You hear his voice right under you, taking on a concerned tone as you clearly struggle. "Come on, let go."

You don't want to. You want to go back to shore but you're stuck, suspended in the air, the slimy substance on the rope making your fingers slip bit by bit. 

Fuck, you're gonna fall. You're gonna fall. You're gonna–

You scream as your grip finally falters and you plummet to the lake below. As you breach the surface, water rushes into your open lungs through your open mouth, suffocating you. You thrash around in panic, certain you're going to drown over a stupid dare.

You feel something grab onto you and you thrash harder, your panicked brain convincing you it’s the lake itself trying to bring you down to your demise at the cold, dark lakebed.

“Hey, hey, calm down.” You hear Beomgyu's muffled voice, followed by his face coming into view, his expression scared but trying to keep calm. "It's me. I got you."

I got you?

It takes a few more seconds for you to realize that the thing that had grabbed a hold of you earlier was not the lake but Beomgyu, and that instead of trying to pull you under, he's trying to keep your head above the water. 

As soon as you realize that, you wrap yourself around him, clinging onto him for dear life, shaking like a leaf in the wind. 

Beomgyu keeps one of his arms wrapped around your waist and moves the other one up and down your back soothingly. “I got you. You’re okay. Take deep breaths.” 

You do, following his lead, focusing on his breathing and mimicking the slowing rhythm until the both of you are sufficiently calm. 

"There you go." He smiles, no hint of judgment or mockery on his face. “You alright?” 

“I’m fucking cold.” Is all you can think to say, and he laughs, the sound warming you up. “Let’s get you out of here.” 

What? Where the hell did that come from? 

Beomgyu carries you on his back as he swims to the shore. It feels like forever but you eventually reach it, and as soon as you find your footing, you let go of him and scramble out of the water, throwing yourself to the ground. Eyes closed, you take in deep breaths, finally able to breathe properly once again. 

"Do you not know how to swim?" Beomgyu asks, and you hear him sit down next to you. 

"I know how to swim." You retort sharply, too sharply to a man who just saved your life. But you can’t help it, your pride is wounded after you embarrassed yourself like that in front of him. Besides, it was his fault all this happened anyway–him and his stupid wit and his stupid carelessness.

He is silent, but you know he clearly wants you to explain yourself. So begrudgingly, you add, "I just don't like it. The water freaks me out." 

"Then why did you–oh." That small little syllable stings at your already bruised pride. You wait for him to make fun of you but he doesn’t say anything further, mercifully choosing to spare any possible remnants of your ego. 

It’s quiet for a bit, and as you sit drying out, you feel something other than the sun burning your skin. You peek your eyes open to see him staring at you. He looks away when caught, blushing like a young boy caught staring at his crush instead of a man looking at his wife. He's ridiculous. 

"What?" You prompt irritably. 

"You're pretty." He murmurs bashfully and you scoff. "I know. That's why my father was able to sell me to a prince."

Beomgyu frowns, unhappy about you bringing this up again. Oh, did you ruin his little make-believe scene? "I didn't choose this either, you know?" 

"You sure don't seem all that torn up about it." You retort, unkind about his obvious liking towards you.

"Because I can see that even though neither of us chose this, I was blessed to end up with such a smart, strong, beautiful wife. But you clearly don't think the same of me." 

You don't think his response would elicit such a gnawing feeling of guilt inside you, but his self-pitiance coupled with his compliment of you makes you almost regret your attitude. But you refuse to give in to his guilt tripping. You don't owe him happiness. You're not going to bow down and be grateful because he deigns to like you. 

At your silence, he scoffs and gets up. You fully expect him to turn around and walk away, leaving you behind, but to your surprise he offers you a hand instead.

"Don't look so surprised. You may choose to be cruel to me but I will never treat you the same way."

The nerve of this man! God, he pisses you off so much. 

You push his hand away and pull yourself up on your own, getting dressed before stomping back towards the palace.

_______________________________

He keeps away from you after that. True to his words, he remains civil and courteous, but doesn't try to press for anything more… and you have to admit, you start to miss it. 

Not because you hold any affection for him–of course, not!--but because you're alone here with no family and so few friends. Beomgyu on the other hand is surrounded by people who are delighted to have his company, ensuring he is never wanting for company or affection. 

You on the other hand are woefully lonely, so much so that eventually you reach your breaking point, grabbing him one night while you're both getting ready for bed and kissing him. 

"What? Am I finally worthy of your affection?" Beomgyu derides when you break the kiss. You have no right to be upset at his abrasiveness when you're the one who caused it but you still are. Why can’t he just shut up and give you what you need? Why must he make you feel even more embarrassed about your need for him? Not that you’d ever admit either to him. 

"I'm in my fertile period. We need to make a baby." You cover your tracks, and he somehow still manages to be hurt by your response, as if he was actually expecting you to confess your undying love to him. "Wow, that is so sexy."

You roll your eyes and slip off your dress. "Is this sexy?"

He doesn’t even try to hide the way he ogles your body and you laugh, stripping him before pushing him onto the bed. "I thought so." 

_______________________

As punishment for forcing you to almost reveal your alarmingly developing need for him, you concoct a cruel plan designed to repay him tenfold. You set out to satisfy your need while simultaneously maximizing his own by restricting any sexual intercourse between the two of you to your fertile period of every month, and spending the intervening time alternating between depriving him of your touch and teasing him until he’s begging you to let him have you. 

He comes to memorize your schedule and, like a trained dog, starts getting restless close to the when you’d be fertile, staring at you like he's fucking you in his head, humping the bed in his sleep, sporting a semi-permenant hard on as the day draws closer. 

"Did I say you could slow down?"

You take to edging and denying him during your sex-free periods on the pretense that you want him to be full and ready to breed you when the time comes. It's bullshit of course and he knows it too, but he wants to have a family with you so much and wants to please you so badly that he lets you do whatever you want to him. 

"I'm close." He tries to excuse his disobedience but you have no patience for it. 

"You can hold it." You assert, knowing full well he's near his breaking point, but it's just so fun to watch him fight with his own body to try to please you, caught between continuing as you want and risking cumming and angering you or stopping and angering you by disobeying. 

"I can't." He shakes his head, despairing. 

"You can." You say more gently this time, going for a different tactic, though no less devious. "You want to knock me up don't you? Wanna see me get big and round with your baby?"

"Fuck, stop it." He whines, his hand barely moving over his cock but not daring to stop. 

"You're so pretty like this." You coo, knowing he's a sucker for your compliments. They're rare but he lives off of them.

"Oh." He gasps, speeding his pace on his cock, needing to hear more. You can see the muscles of his tummy tensing as he tries to hold back but his hips can't help but buck into his own hand. "Please. Just let me cum once. My balls are so full. I'll have so much for you still. It's been so long." 

God, you love making him do this. He'll do anything you ask of him. Maybe he's rotten like all men but at least his brand of sickness is fun to watch.  

"It hasn't been one week. Are you that addicted to sex? Did you fuck yourself every day before I came along?" 

He shakes his head, denying your accusations. "You keep teasing me, wearing those revealing clothes to bed. Touching me under the table. Whispering dirty things in my ear when we have company…" 

"You love it, you dirty pup. I know you do."

"I love it. Love you touching me, love you toying with me, love you…"

He doesn't finish that lost one. He doesn't get to–or maybe that was the end of the sentence-before he suddenly spills his seed. 

"Oh god. Oh god, I'm so sorry." He cries, just as surprised about his orgasm as you were. "I didn't mean to, I swear." 

"But you did." You tsk, intent on milking his "disobedience" to death and making him whimper and cry like a scolded dog. But the sheer panic in his reply throws you off. "I know. I'm sorry. I tried to–" His voice cuts up in a hiccuping cry. "I tried to–tell you–to stop–I couldn't–help–ittt."

You stare at him in shock. He has tears streaming down his face, shoulders going up and down with every gasping breath he takes, and his hands are hovering nervously in the air as if he wants to reach out to you but is scared of what your reaction would be. 

So you take it upon you to reach out to him instead, holding his hands in yours as you scooch towards him. "Hey, hey, it's okay."

"No, it's not." He shakes his head vigorously, tears flying off his pretty lashes. "I try so hard to be good for you and I can't even control myself. I know you’re mad."

"I'm not mad." You deny, but he just keeps shaking his head and mumbling sadly, "Didn’t mean to disappoint you."

"I'm not disappointed." You reassure him, more firmly this time. "It's just a game."

"You are–"

He obviously won't listen to your words so you go for a different route, cutting him off with a kiss that, thankfully, he easily melts into. 

The kiss is tender–every diminishing sob released against your lips unwillingly tugging on your heartstrings until you feel completely wretched for somehow making it so he reacted so strongly to something so stupid. It was never your intention to make him actually suffer. You merely wished to protect yourself. But how do you do that when your distance is what's making him so miserable?

You do not owe him your love but does that mean that he can't earn it?

"I'm not mad." You repeat when you end the kiss and he nods, eyes glued to your lips as he licks his own, his wish clear. But before he can ask for another kiss, you choose instead to let go of him to grab something to clean him up with. 

He never takes his eyes off you as you wipe his hands off and clean the cum off his body. And he still stares at you as you dispose of the rag and lay back down on the bed. 

"What?" You ask, sharper than you intended and he flinches. So you try again, gentler this time. "Do you need something?"

He stares down at his hands as he speaks, wringing his fingers nervously. "Will you hold me to sleep?"

Your following silence prompts him to finally look up at you, and the wet, vulnerable look in his big brown eyes physically prevents you from rebuffing his request. 

You sigh, throwing an arm out pointedly and he doesn't waste a second jumping forward and snuggling into your side. 

__________________

That small action--Beomgyu having you hold him to sleep instead of the other way around–makes you realize something that should've been obvious to you from the start… unlike other men, and despite your worst fears, Beomgyu isn't looking to control or lead you. 

He never did, from your sex life to what you do in your free time and even to public appearance, he lets you do as you please, only ever venturing to appeal to be included in it. You've even embarrassed him in public a couple of times before and yet he never lashed out against you in any way. 

Other people were decidedly less kind though. You know they're gossipping about you. How you're a shame to other ladies and he's a disgrace to his family and the prince title. It gets to a point where you can't help but inquire about it to him, perplexed by his seeming indifference to what anyone else had to say. 

"Does it not bother you?" 

"What does?" He peeks an eye open to look at you from where he is laid down on the grass next to you, another successful hijacking of your time. 

"What they say about you?" You spare him the details he knows all too well–that he's not a man, that he isn't fit to be a prince, that he's so weak and feeble even his wife rules him 

"It does, of course. Everyone seeks to be accepted by others-be it friends, family, society, a lover…" He trails off tenderly, and you ignore the longing look he gives you. "But I have a loving family, supportive friends, and a secure life. I'd be a foolish man indeed to ignore all of that and spend my days trying to gain the approval of those who think ill of me." He says with a smile that suddenly and unexpectedly falls, "Why? Does it bother you? Me not being manly?"

"Would you change if it did?" You ask curiously and he frowns in thought before answering. "No, I want you to be happy with me, but I want to be happy too. I want us both to be happy." 

"Why do you want me to be happy so badly?" You ask genuinely. It might be a stupid question to ask your husband but the sad reality is most husbands don't care much for their wives happiness. 

"I believe a marriage should be built on respect and affection. Your spouse is meant to be your life partner, they’re there to witness it all, your everyday life, your ups and down, the mundane and the exciting. Why not try to make the best of those years? Why not be each other's rock when the world tears you down?" He espouses thoughtfully, a wiseness you never expected from him coming through, making him look mature and worldly. But then an innocent bashfulness takes over his face and he returns back to the boyish prince you’ve come to know. "And… I've always had a crush on you."

"Me?" You ask, surprised. You’ve met the prince many times before. You were hardly strangers before your marriage, but you wouldn’t have considered yourselves friends and certainly didn’t suspect that he held any romantic sentiment towards you. But you suppose that explains his existing partiality towards you despite your less than sweet reaction to the marriage. 

"I have always loved how bold you were despite everyone trying to force you to fit the status quo. It gave me courage to be myself too. I thought if you could manage to act so decidedly outside of what is deemed proper for a lady and still remain the most radiant and exhilarating woman in the room, then maybe others could find beauty in me too." 

You gape at him, at a loss for words. He finds the parts of you that are so repulsive to everyone else attractive? Is he messing with you? Is this some cruel joke? Or is he actually telling the truth? 

You so badly want to believe him, but you can’t bring yourself to. It’s too good to be true. 

"Did you ever… think of me that way?" He asks timidly, not daring to look at you, fearing your response, and for once, you feel saddened that you’re unable to give him the answer he’s looking for. 

"No." You tell him honestly. You haven’t given him much thought before you got married. Sure, you could see that he was handsome, and he had always made himself known by his unusual behavior but other than that you hadn't really paid much attention to him, too caught up with your own troubles to pay any mind to his. You come to regret that now. At the very least, you might’ve made yourself a friend who would accept you for who you are. Or so he claims anyway. 

"What about now?" His follow-up question is even more timid, whispered so quietly you almost didn't hear it. And you wish you didn’t because you don't have any answer for it. 

"Let's not go there." You reply uncomfortably, getting up in order to physically remove yourself from the loaded question, refusing to consider that you might actually have developed any affection for him. 

But Beomgyu quickly sits up and holds onto your hand. "No, please, don't leave. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He begs dolefully, which doesn't help your uneasiness in the slightest bit. 

"It's fine." You lie to no one's benefit. "I just have things to do." You excuse yourself unconvincingly, taking your leave before he can fully articulate his next argument. 

You hate seeing him so down, but what can you do when he insists on breaching this delicate topic again and again? You have no answer for him, you really don't. Why must he keep prodding? 

____________________

"Is it time to go to bed yet?" Beomgyu whispers in your ear. He has been giving you needy looks the whole night, when he wasn't actively hanging onto your arm like he is right now. 

It's the first day of your fertile period, and like you always do, you love to stay out as long as possible just to torment your poor husband. And lucky you, tonight there was just the perfect excuse to stay out even later–a ball hosted by the royal family and inviting noble and rich families from all over the kingdom. 

"We're the hosts. It would be rude to leave this early." You tell him sharply as if you weren’t counting on him acting this very way, as if you’re not immensely enjoying it.

"But it's been hours." He whines and you feel him grind not-so-subtly against you. 

"Are you seriously humping me in the open like this?" You ask incredulously, "Can't you control yourself?"

He shakes his head. "You know I can't." He tells you helplessly and you smile. Yes, you know very well. "I need it."

You chuckle. "Oh, you need it? What if I don't give it to you?" 

He wails at the idea and a few heads turn towards you. 

"Don't worry. He just hit his toe against the chair." You wave the curious and concerned glances off before turning towards Beomgyu with a sharp look. "Now look what you've done. Do you want everyone to know what a needy whore you are, my dear?"

"I don't care. Just need you." Throughout it all he hasn't quit pressing his bulge against your hip. 

"That's too bad because we're staying for some time still. Now run off and talk to your father's guests and stop being such a rude host."

"But–"

You disentangle yourself from him despite his protests. "Go or you won't be getting fucked tonight." You threaten against his ear before pressing a quick kiss to the skin below, causing goosebumps to erupt in your wake. 

You walk off with a big, self satisfied smile, your excitement building as you imagine how desperate he'll be once you actually take him back to bed. You wonder if you can get him to cum untouched. He has very sensitive nipples and you've always wondered if you can actually make him cum just by playing with them. You’re sure you can. Maybe tonight you'll try. 

You’re so focused on what you have in store for your poor husband that you don't notice the two people approaching you. 

"Oh darling, look how happy you look." You hear your mother's voice next to you and your mood immediately sours. You turn towards the pair with a scowl. "Hello, mother. Hello father."

"Hello, dear. How is my precious flower doing?" Your father asks, leaning forward to give you a kiss on each cheek that you don't reciprocate. 

"Deflowered." You deadpan. 

"Oh, come off it, baby. You know your father chose Prince Beomgyu because he was sure he would cherish you. That boy positively adores you." Your mother chastises, and you frown. Did your family seriously know of Beomgyu’s feelings towards you before you did? "And from what I'm hearing, he's doing just that. I mean even today, he can hardly leave your side for a minute." 

You snort. If only she knew what was really going on... But to be fair, they weren't entirely wrong. Beomgyu does cherish you. That doesn't mean that you'll let them feel good about what they did. 

"Your mother is right, love." Your father says gently but firmly, "We just wanted to ensure a good life for you with a man who adores you as much as we do. You are our only child and if you hadn’t gotten married, you would have been the object of many a wicked man's greed." 

You roll your eyes at them. You could’ve handled yourself just fine. Not that they ever believed in you. "Whatever." 

Are you being immature? Yes, but you’re still bitter about them not giving you a choice in the matter or even the man you were to marry, even if their choice turned out to be decent. 

"Excuse me. I have to go find me dear husband." You give them a sour smile and turn you back on them. Their worried murmurs fade into the background noise as you step away from them and search for Beomgyu in the crowd, determined to go back to your room now. 

When you spot him though, your mood takes an even more severe plunge. He's not alone, and the way he's entertaining the guest is way more intimate than you had instructed. The woman next to him is standing way too close to be proper, and she has one of her hands on his shoulder and the other one trailing down his chest. 

Of course. Typical man behavior, as soon as you're out of sight he's wrapped up in some other woman’s arms. And here you thought he actually cared. 

A dull pang starts out from the middle of your chest before it quickly spreads all across your ribcage in sharp stabs that take your breath away– a testament to the hurt you're feeling at this betrayal. He really got you fooled, huh?

You were contemplating whether to march off and slap the both of them silly or go back to your room, locking him out and crying your eyes out, when you hear his panicked voice floating into your full ears. 

"I'm married!" He stammers, trying to wiggle out of the woman's hold on him but she just steps closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself against him.

A rage like no other fills up your body at the sight, searing off the wounds that were just covering it from the perceived betrayal, but you force yourself to stand still and watch how this will play out. 

"So? All princes take mistresses. I hear she's not even letting you fuck her. What a heartless bitch." 

That’s it! You make a move to step forward and smack her filthy hands off your husband, but he does it himself, throwing her hands off him angrily. 

"Don't you dare speak about her that way." He shouts, furious in a way you've never seen him before. "She is my wife and I love her. She satisfies me much better than you could ever hope to do. I want no one else but her so kindly fuck off before you embarass yourself any further." 

You freeze. Beomgyu loves you?

Yes, you knew he liked you and he was never shy about expressing it, but love? 

It's at this moment, while you're rooted to your spot in shock, that Beomgyu finally sees you. A big smile replaces his affronted expression as he calls out to you. "Oh, darling there you are!"

But then he notices the look on your face and his own expression pales, his eyes jumping between you and the woman who is still standing next to him. "It's not what you think. I told her to back off, I swear."

Oh, he must think you're upset because of her. Well, you were but not at him. Not after he proved himself right in front of you. Still, this is a good distraction. It's better that he thinks that. You can't discuss the other thing now. You can’t even process it yet.

You quickly compose yourself and walk up to them, wrapping your arm around his waist and giving him a sweet kiss on his lips. "I saw." You smile at him before turning your withering gaze towards the woman. "You heard him. Fuck off and go find another man to lay under." 

The woman scoffs and walks off, shouldering you as she goes, but you don't care. You turn back to Beomgyu, and whisper cryptically to him. "I want to speak to you, dear. In private."

His eyes widened in fear. "Darling, I'm sorry–I really tried–"

"Let's go." You snap, pulling him after you into the garden. 

You choose a place deep enough into the garden you're sure no one will see you before you push him against a tree. 

"You just attract them, don't you?" You raise an eyebrow at him, pressing your thigh between his legs. "Standing out there looking all needy and pretty."

"I told her to go away." He cowers pitifully, but he’s already rutting his cock against your thigh. 

"But she just wouldn’t, huh?" You ask with mock sympathy, "You're just a helpless slut aren't you? Need me to be around you all the time to keep you in place?"

"No." He whines, shaking his head roughly. "I can behave. I can be good."

You spit on your hand and put it down his pants, stroking his cock and making him keen and melt into your touch. "Look how easily you give in." You tsk, "How long would you have held out if she did that?"

Beomgyu shakes his head again, tears brimming his pretty eyes. "Never would've given in. Only yours."

"Aw, how cute. This cock is only for me?" You murmur against his lips, palming the head of his cock and feeling his precum already leaking and wetting your hand. 

"Everything. I'm all yours." He confesses, his eyes conveying an affection so strong, you can't weather it. You take your hand out of his pants and flip the both of you around so you're the one pressed against the tree. "Fuck me." 

"Here?!" He gapes. 

"Yes. Want you here." 

"But anyone can see." He looks around as if searching for those phantom voyeurs. 

"Didn’t you say you’re all mine? Show them." You press your lips against his, coaxing him into giving in with sweet kisses that he craves. 

“Honey…” He whines, but you wrap one leg around his waist and pull him against you, his body reacting on its down and his hips bucking against you, his cock searching for your warmth that you’ve kept away from him for so long. 

You ignore his half-hearted protest, pulling his cock out of his pants and lifting the skirt of your dress up so he can feel you directly. His breath leaves him when he feels his cock glide against your wet pussy. “Oh… you’re not wearing anything underneath.”

“Uh-huh.” You nod, biting your lip and looking at him seductively. “Wanted to be all ready for you to take me. Didn’t know you’d be entertaining other women.” 

You’re really dragging out this other woman farce, partly because it’s fun watching him scramble to deny it and appease you, and partly because you feel entitled to him as your husband. You’re not going to be the woman forced to marry a man, only for him to cheat on her too. 

But still, you can’t deny the jealousy and hurt you felt seeing him with someone else after he’s spent the last few months professing his affection to you and forcing his way into your life. He said it’s only you he wants, right? Well, you want him to act like it, damned by the reasons behind your unwelcome feelings. 

Beomgyu’s eyes widen in horror and he finally presses forward, pushing his cock into you in one needy thrust. “No! Was only thinking about this pussy. I promise.” He wails in earnest, “Only want you.”

His words are like a balm to your wounded ego, and you reward him with a messy, open-mouthed kiss–the kind you know gets him all riled up. “Then fuck me like it.” 

“Yes, darling.” He holds up the leg you have wrapped around him with one hand and uses the other to grab your waist and press you flush against the tree, stabilizing you so he can drill his cock into you, an urgency to his movements that tops even your previous encounters. 

“Good boy.” You pant, feeling his cock hitting places deep inside you that have your toes curling. "Is this what you wanted all month?"

"Yes, baby. Been thinking of it every night, wished you would just flip over onto your tummy and let me fuck you." 

You grin evilly. “I know, baby. I felt that hard cock against me every night. Loved to wake up with it pressed right between my asscheeks.” 

“You’re so cruel.” He mewls, fucking into you desperately, making up for all the torture you put him through. 

“I know.” You laugh, trailing your hands up his body to play with his sensitive nipples, and when your thumbs brush over them, his hips stutter and he rewards you with the most debauched moans. 

“Fuck, don’t do that or I’ll cum.”

“But I want you to cum.” You retort, pulling lightly on his hardened nipples and causing his hips to give a particularly harsh thrust. "Cum inside me. Knock me up. Let them all know who you belong to."

Your words drive him crazy, and soon he’s fucking into you like a wild animal. "Fuck, you’re going so rough. Were you that needy?"

“Yes.” There is no shame in his reply, just pure want. He's not shy about letting his need for you show, his mouth wide open, panting heavily, and eyes glazed over as his hips slam against yours. "Thank you. Thank you for letting me inside your pretty pussy."

Just his face brings you close to the edge, and his wild thrusts threaten to push you over at any moment. 

"Look how slutty you look." You tease, cupping his face. "Are you all pussy-drunk, my dear?"

He nods, leaning into your touch and only managing a few garbled moans in response. 

"That's okay, pup. All I need from you is your pretty cock. You don't need to have any thoughts in that pretty head of yours. Just keep fucking me like a good boy." 

He nods again, enraptured, and his blind obedience finally sends you over the edge. 

“Fuck–fuck–good boy… good boy.” You moan out, the praise coming out long and slow as your body tenses up before spasming, your pussy milking his cock and drawing his own orgasm out of him. 

Beomgyu buries his face into your neck, letting out choked moans that later turn into heavy pants as his high crashes through his body. But even when his breathing settles down, he is reluctant to pull away from you. 

“Beomgyu?” You call out. He lets out a small hum and nuzzles further into your skin, mumbling something that you can’t quite hear.

“We need to go.” You start again, the leg he’s still holding up starting to cramp while the cool air bites at it, and he whines. “But this feels too nice.”

You smirk. “What does? Your cock all warm and snug inside my pussy?”

You feel his cock twitch inside you and he nods. “Yeah. Also this.” He says, running kisses up your neck that makes you shiver. “You never let me do this much.” 

You know. You only allow these intimate moments after sex, not wanting a repeat of what happened before, but also needing to limit them to protect yourself. Which is exactly why you want him to pull away now. 

“We have to go.” You repeat, jostling him a little bit, feeling your heart picking up at the precarious moment. You feel him sigh against your skin, and he finally pulls back. “Okay. Let's go to bed.” 

“Oh, we’re not going to bed. We’re rejoining the ball.” You say nonchalantly, holding back your laugh at the way he gapes at you once again. 

"But–but…." He stammers, his eyes raking over your body. 

"But your cum is dripping down my legs? I know." You smirk evilly, pulling him behind you. 

___________________

You and Beomgyu are stuck in a limbo of your own making, unable to let him in fully but also unwilling to shut the door in his face, stubbornly thinking that this way you’ll be saving yourself from any heartache. But can you really make that claim anymore when seeing him hurt himself over you wounds you just as much? 

That is the precise situation you find yourself in right now, running towards one of the rooms you’ve just been informed that Beomgyu and your previous suitor, Yeonjun, are dueling within. 

You expect this foolishness from Yeonjun. He has always been brash and hard-headed, always reaching for his sword when his words meet resistance. But Beomgyu? Has that idiot ever even been in a duel before? 

Your heart hammers in your chest as you run, images of Beomgyu struck down and bleeding coming unbidden to your mind. Fuck, if that idiot got himself hurt over some inane dick-measuring contest, you’re going to kill him yourself. 

When you gain entrance into the room and peek Beomgyu’s fallen form through the gaps in the crowd that formed around the two men, your heart falls to your feet and you get ready to grab Beomgyu’s sword and strike down Yeonjun yourself. 

But then you hear Yeonjun speak to him. “Come on, get up. Be a man.” 

After which a member of the crowd comments snarkily, “You’ve got the wrong person. If you want a fight then you need to look for his wife. She wears his balls around her neck.” 

You see red as you shove your way through the crowd and into the clearing in the middle. “Who said that?” You growl, surveying the crowd. No one speaks, and you laugh hauntingly. “Come on, show me how much of a man you really are. Surely, you’re not afraid of me, a woman?” 

Again, no one speaks up, and you scoff. “Of course, you are all a bunch of cowards who like to bully good people in order to feel better about your own vile, miserable selves.” 

“Hey, don’t speak to my men like that.” Yeonjun interjects and you shoot him a withering look. “What men? All I see are a bunch of dogs sniffing up their master’s ass.” 

At the insult, one of the men steps forward threateningly, but Yeonjun holds him back. 

“What? Are you going to hit a woman?” You challenge and he spits. “What woman? All I see is a rabid bitch.” 

No sooner had the man spoken than he was on the floor, felled by a punch from Yeonjun. “Don’t you dare speak to a lady like that.” 

The man looks furious but he holds his tongue, not daring to defy his master, choosing instead to get up and storm out. A few other men follow suit but Yeonjun ignores them, turning towards you, “I’m sorry about that, my lady. Please accept–”

“I will accept nothing. What gave you the right to come here and attack my husband?” You growl at him, walking towards Beomgyu and helping him off the floor. But Beomgyu doesn’t even glance at you, keeping his gaze on the floor and making you feel uneasy. 

“I wanted to see what you left me for.” He mutters bitterly, as if you had been together and you had left him to be with Beomgyu. He’s so fucking delusional. 

Yeonjun and you used to be childhood friends, and you suppose he assumed on the basis of that and by merit of him being the son of one of the most wealthy and influential men in the whole country, that you’d fawn at his feet and accept his hand when he proposed to you. 

But that couldn’t have been further from the truth. You liked Yeonjun well enough as children, but as you grew up he turned into a controlling asshole who tried to tell you what you can and cannot do, already acting as if you were his woman, something which you despised and have expressed so to him repeatedly. You don’t know how he could possibly have thought that you’d actually accept his hand in marriage but his scandalized reaction served to cement your decision even more. 

“I didn’t leave you for anyone. If you were the last man on earth, I still wouldn’t have picked you.” 

Yeonjun’s face grows pale at the harsh proclamation, but you don’t stay back to wait for his response, barking at one of the servants to help you take their prince back to his bed. 

______________________________________

But Beomgyu’s weird behavior persists even when you’re alone, and when you attempt to tend to his injuries, he withdraws from you harshly. 

"Why are you doing this? Am I so pathetic that even you feel sorry for me?" He hisses in disgust. 

"What has gotten into you?" You snap back, not willing to take shit from him too. 

"You want someone like him, don't you?” He accuses bitterly, and when you give him a confused look he continues. “Don’t deny it. You were childhood sweethearts. He told me you were set to be married before your parents forced you to marry a sissy like me."

"And you believed him?" You balk and he scoffs, looking away. "Then you’re even more of an idiot than I thought you were."

His head snaps back to stare at you, eyes glistening with tears. “You think I’m an idiot?” 

That’s what he focuses on? “Of course. You must be if you honestly think that I ever even entertained marrying that sexist, disgusting, pompous asshole."

“Then why did he say that?” He asks in a small voice and you yell out in frustration, “Because he can’t fathom how I can be happy with you and not him when everyone around him licks the ground he walks on.”

“You-you’re happy with me?” He peers up at you through his wet lashes and your heart hurls itself against your ribcage at the hope you see in his eyes. 

"Yes, I am.” You admit, and watch as the bright rays of happiness start to shine across his face, before they’re covered by another gloomy cloud. He shakes his head. “You just want someone weak to control. That’s why you like it with me.” 

You grab his face, a little rougher that you probably should but he was really pissing you off. “No, I want a man who is secure in his manhood that he doesn’t need to engage in these stupid dick measuring contests to feel good about himself. I want a man who is secure enough in himself that no matter how much I challenge him, he never lashes out at me for it. I want a man who even though I’ve been nothing but a bitch to him again and again, he still stuck by me because he saw the good in me when everyone else saw fault. I want you.” 

Beomgyu shoots forward, meeting your lips with his in a passionate kiss that you gladly reciprocate. He has been so brave for you. You can learn to be brave for him too.  

“I love you.” He professes when the need for air forces him to pull away. 

You cup his cheeks gently, staring into his kind eyes and hoping he’d be kind to you one more time, even if you don’t deserve it. “Just give me some time, okay? I promise I’ll get there if you give me a little more time.” 

That feeling of dread you get when you rebuff one of his advances and sit in fear of him finally getting sick enough of you to stop trying bubbles in your stomach as you wait for his response. But Beomgyu is even more merciful than you had ever dreamed of and his gentle smile washes away all your fear. 

“I will wait for as long as you need me to. I will never give up on you. I just needed to know that you wanted it too.” 

“I do. I really do. I want you.” Tears flow down your face unbidden and you let yourself be pulled into his warm embrace. 

This is what you could have if you could just learn to trust him–to really let yourself be cared for and loved without constantly being on the lookout for an inevitable betrayal. He can give you that. You know he can, and maybe with time, you too can give him everything he deserves. 

_____________________________

A/N: well there you go. honestly it came out a lot different than i had anticipated and a lot shorter, but i hope you still like it anyway. let me know which prince gyu is your favorite, yamqn pyscho prince gyu or sweet playful love you prince gyu?

if you can guess why the title is that, you get a treat.

[juniperhillpatient]

I have talked about this a lot before but it’s on my mind & also it’s something that really should be discussed more in Buffy fandom -

People are constantly talking about how Spike defies all the rules Buffy was taught about demons & vampires & rightfully so. A vampire falling in love with a slayer & fighting for his soul for her is such a romantic notion & I do love it but the nuance of Spike’s arc is even more interesting than that! He does love Buffy but not only that he befriends the Scoobies too. He brings flowers for Joyce after she dies. He helps prove that Tara is not a demon when her family tries to gaslight her & isolate her. He becomes a pseudo big brother to Dawn.

And yet none of that is even what I’m here to talk about! Spike IS a hero & he does have a long spanning redemption arc before the soul (& we’re NOT here to talk about Seeing Red right now, as usual that topic is too expansive & requires its own post) that should be acknowledged & his character is rightfully praised but he is NOT the only exception to vampires having nuance & it drives me crazy that we act like he is. The Judge isn’t just talking to Spike when he says this:

“You TWO.” He’s talking about Drusilla too! He says that they share affection & jealousy. That Angelus in his total sociopathic lack of human emotion is the odd one here.

Then you have things like this -

Conversations with Dead People has Buffy sharing a very long & deep conversation with an old acquaintance turned vampire. And it’s far from the only example in universe of a vampire retaining some sense of camaraderie with people from their life!

That’s right this entire rant has been a lead up to talk about my best girly Harmony Kendall. You’ve fallen for my ruse if you’ve read this far muahaha! Admittedly Harmony’s strongest moments are mostly unfortunately on Angel but even in season four of Buffy when she dates Spike she is clearly intended at times to be sympathetic. Season 4 is also interesting because we see a lot interactions between various gangs of vampires like Harmony’s so-called minions & even Sundays gang where they’re very much evil but also sharing in living (existing?) space & acting like bickering roommates or siblings. Like creatures with bonds & personalities & intricacies.

The point I’m trying to make is that the show never truly wants to grapple with the existence of Spike in all his nuance but it’s also not just about him! In general there is so much to grapple with in the idea that vampires can change & be redeemed & I’m not saying I’m anti scary evil vampires I’m just saying the universe gave us these hints of nuance & then the characters never grappled with it & that’s lame. For Buffy killing things that have a shot at redemption however small would be a major emotional blow if she ever addressed it! Especially in her season 5 “am I just a killer 🥺” arc. Let’s deal with the implications!

Let’s deal with Xander’s trauma about killing Jessie & just how much it would/should hurt for him to see Spike increasingly choose good & work with the Scoobies. I would LOVE to know Xander’s reaction to Harmony’s arc on Angel or Cordelia befriending her & letting her go ina world where the writing acknowledges that he drove a stake through his best friends heart!

It’s just that the writers accidentally complicated their own lore & then totally refused to ever let their characters address what the cracks in the stories they tell themselves mean. Giles says that a vampire is no longer the person but instead the thing that killed them. What’s scarier: the idea that your loved one was killed & something wears their face like a mask OR much more insane (to me) the idea that your loved one came back very wrong but it’s still them? Your brother eats people now but he still remembers how you like your eggs & can quote every episode of the cartoon you watched as kids. Your mom murdered that woman from the PTA who always talked too much in cold blood but she still remembers the recipe for your favorite pancakes. The show wanted scary vampires but it got so caught up in never addressing the infinitely more complex & scarier vampires it accidentally created & sticking to the more simplistic initial idea that it did both the characters & lore very dirty. And I’ll never shut up about it!!!

[sanesaviour]

Psst🤫 I heard yall like him so there is more of him ;)

I wanted to draw him in 2 fits but ended up with 4 lol, ANYWAYS now you have to read my headcanons brainrot bout him:

1. casual fit - I imagine him wearing fits like this all the time, at school at home just everywhere (it gives that old money rich boy energy)… in my head this is like during time when Peter got his spidey powers, still “happy” times, at this point he is very close with Peter and Mj, he spends most of his free time with them or at Peters place bc he don’t like to be home alone (yea in my version Norman is still the same shitty father, but at this point Harry still tries to get his attention)

2. formal fit - there is nothing really much to it, just wanted to draw him wearing suit lol (he wears it often tho to some kind of formal events, u know, rich people stuff)

3. Venom (hell yea) - pretty self explanatory, this is like 1 year after Peter became spiderman which means he have now less time for Harry and Mj, he have lot of work with hero stuff and S.H.I.E.L.D. and also at this time his team (why they didn’t gave team name at usm, I’m gonna call them Spidey team for now lol) starts attending same highschool as them, SO Peter is very secretive and his lame excuses don’t really work on Harry so he is angry about it, feels jelaous about Peter spending more time with other people and their friendship naturally starts slowly falling apart… therefore when Harry finds Venom he doesn’t really hesitate and takes it (yea he wears those venom watches like in show) and for while he become black suit spiderman, but as plot goes on due to his emotions (anger + daddy issues, this guy is mess) he slowly starts loosing control of Venom (he is somewhat still aware of his actions but he is way more agressive and brutal, also attacks Norman). There is like lot of fights between him and Spidey team, but at some point peter finds out about harry being venom so he instead of fighting tries his other super power - let’s talk about it, which obviously doesn’t work. His team still fights him as they seems to belive it is best way how to handle it… later harry also finds out about spideys secret identity so it become even more personal and messy… during last fight peter is one who defeats harry and takes away venom from him

4. post venom - harry now doesn’t really have anyone to trust, he doesn’t wear fancy clothes anymore (he wants to distant himself from the name Osborn), he starts smoking and skipping classes (maybe he even drops out of school but still not sure about that), Peter obviously tries to fix their friendship but it’s still broken beyond repair… althouh they know each others secrets they both won’t share it with world (they might not be friends anymore but they aren’t assholes). Also- I gave him scar, which is probably not from Peter but rather Ava (she scratched his face during one of the figts or something)

This is obviously not everything (it’s like season 1) but the post is already way too long. Also sorry for how shitty my writing is (ain’t writter, just artist), but I still hope you enjoyed my rant :))

[ashen-char]

mikey madison characters x reader for valentines

my masterlist, to check out my other works, is here

notes: a little late, it hasn't been valentines here for two days at time of posting! just felt like it ❤️

amber freeman (scream)

says she doesn't care about valentines' day and she's being honest, she thinks it's stupid and a marketing ploy to sell chocolates and stupid heart-shaped stuff. BUT she will also get pissed off and not speak to you for days if you don't get her anything.

if you ask her to be your valentine, she scoffs and says something to the effects of "we're dating. of course, dummy. it's not like i have something better to do on that day...". as if she didn't clear her schedule specifically anticipating a date night. nothing huge and public though. you two are more chill, and she hates the vulnerability and mushiness of PDA. (though she isn't above making out in a corner of one of her parties). if you tried to go the traditional route of a huge rose bouquet and taking her out to a packed restaurant, amber would claw your eyes out. she wants it to be customised to you two, not "basic bitch energy"

she'd get you a cute horror themed plushy. that's ones of her favourite things about your relationship. you don't judge her about her hobbies and passions, letting her rant on and on, ever letting her show you wayyy too much of the stuff. at this point, it's a hallmark of your relationship, horror is something you two talk about to bond. the first gift is a teddy bear holding a heart in one hand and a knife in the other. the heart says "i can't BEAR to be without you"

the second is a bottle of whiskey she stole from her parents liquor cabinet. then a handwritten letter of all the shit she likes about you (read: things about you that don't piss her off. the reasons why you're more tolerable than everyone else in this miserable town. how you actually make it worthwhile to stay). amber tells you that she's been thinking about it and... she doesn't want you two to drift apart. it's mushy, and embarrassing, but she says she'll pick her college according to which places accept you. "where you go, i go, valentine." she plays it off with a wink, but you can tell that she means it. she can't bear the thought of being without you after all.

her favourite candy is 100% liquorice and black jellybeans and you'd get her a basket full of it (and dark chocolate). her ideal valentines date is to go to a drive-in movie theater deep in the woods to watch some corey slasher, making out in your backseat during the boring scenes.

max fox (better things)

she loves valentines but all her exes have been shit and either broke up with her around that time (leaving her to celebrate it with friends with a galentines thing) or completely forgot it. so max keeps her expectations low. she's half-expecting you to come with a card and a last-minute dinner reservation at a shit restaurant cause all the good places are all booked up.

if you ask her to be your valentine, you should make it a big gesture. get sam and frankie and duke involved, they'd love it (and see how much better you treat her). you get sam to distract max on a day out, pester her and make sure she doesn't have a clue that you came over and you're decorating her room. rose petals all over her bed, a sign that frankie helped you design with some lame pun that max will ADORE, while duke helps you set up all the candles. the pun is probably along the lines of "will you be valen-mine?"

for valentines', max's gifts would be hella creative and handmade and thoughtful. a painting of you that she secretly did while you weren't paying attention and just laying in her bed. a mug she made and painted herself, with one of your inside jokes etched on the handle. a scrapbook of all the pictures she's taken on your dates, filled with notes of her favourite memories on the sides. the cutest ones being a photoshoot session on your first date, where max stole a first kiss on the final pic. the two of you smiling big and excited, not yet knowing you'd make it this far and this long.

you leave her guessing the whole time on your date. at first, you get her to believe you're taking her to her restaurant and she complains that she already has staff meals there all the time. but nonetheless, she's already so giddy for what you've done by showing up and getting her chocolates (she loves the ones with the seahorses and seashells) and a gorgeous bouquet of tulips. she's sniffing her flowers the whole time, grinning in the passenger seat. she's being so sweet and adorable that you spill and tell her the plans.

you got concert tickets to her favourite band AND they're floor seats so you can be right in the pit. max practically screams, kissing you all over as thanks. she's glued to you the whole time during the show, and you get to sing the lyrics of the "best love songs" (max's words) right to your girl. max takes pictures all night, posting you all over her socials. snapping her friends bragging about how she has the best valentine ever and they should be mad jealous.

river (all souls)

it's hard for river to make days about her, to put her feet up and relax. when you broach the conversation about valentines, she'd groan and tell you about how jade got glitter all over the couch when she was decorating letters for her whole class. you'd tell her that you meant her plans for valentines. as in, would she be yours. as in, you already paid jade's babysitter for the night and the kiddo is totally on board (jade REALLY wants you two to have a romantic night. when river turns to her daughter, playfully betrayed that you two planned this behind her back, jade giggles and gives her a thumbs up).

as you two head to your reservation, river has to be assured and reassured that jade is alright staying home for your date. river isn't used to fancy food. or sit-down restaurants where there are hosts rather than one waitress going around addressing every regular by name. when she tells you that she feels out of place and awkward even though she put on her nicest clothes (a hoodie without cigarette burns!), you take her hand and run right outta there together.

instead, you two go on a late night walk. you share jabs about the passing people you see, the man on the phone clearly being cussed out by his girlfriend, the cheating scumbags who thought they'd get away with booking dates back to back. sharing a cigarette, you two are sitting on a park bench, river sighing and apologising that she's not the type of girl who can appreciate all this cute shit you do for her. she wants to be able to swoon, to allow you to pamper her or whatever. but it's just one day, and the stuff you do every day is better. you being around is better, the most romantic gesture she's ever known.

you hit the corner store together, hand in hand. river picks out hella snacks, especially candy to share with jade, and an unhealthy amount of monster energy. you pick out a valentines card that has some dirty joke in it and she snorts and kisses you hard in the aisles. you slip a ring onto her finger.

anora mikheeva (anora)

valentines is a busy day in HQ. divorcees, eternal singles, the heartbroken - it's the perfect place for those that wanna drink and stare at naked girls all night, forgetting what day it is. and ani likes it like that. she likes being able to hustle more outta these suckers, likes that she can offer an ear to their sorrows and convince them way easier to buy a dance.

you ask her to be your valentine simply. you're laying in her bed, curled up with her all naked and blissed out, cuddling but not asleep. she makes a joke about holiday rates until you realise she's serious. she's fully booked. ani presses an apology kiss to your lips, offering to hang out the day after or something. that she'll make it up to you by giving you double the orgasms next time - giggling when you get fussy because you don't want her offering sexual favours all the time!

because don't get her wrong, anora loves romance. she wants to be swept off her feet, she loves the big gestures, the extravagant or extremely meaningful gifts. it's time that's an issue. scheduling. she can't put her life on hold for it. cutesy shit ain't gonna pay the bills.

it's surprisingly easy to decorate her room while she's asleep. like usual, ani got home in the early morning, slipping on her eye mask and earplugs so the sun and occasionally passing train don't wake her up. vera lets you slip in - her boyfriend's there as well - and she's amused at the sight of the huge cardboard box of goods you're gonna spread around ani's room.

her favourite rom coms. her guilty pleasure binge shows. a cute stitch plushy due to her disney obsession. her favourite flowers - dark red peonies because roses are way too normie. most importantly, you make breakfast in their tiny-ass kitchen to treat anora so she doesn't have to rush the morning to get ready for work.

you'll fit in the time around her schedule. you're determined to make her feel special even when the rest of the world demands that she be this very specific person all the time, this jaded hustling girl.

you sit on ani's bed, waiting for her to wake up, a tray of freshly cooked breakfast in your hands. she wakes up to the smell of chocolate chip pancakes, the way mom always used to cook her as a kid. there's cut up strawberries shaped like hearts, whipped cream on top. on the tray is a tennis bracelet she's been desperate for after some of the other HQ girls were bragging about their sugar daddies gifting it to them. you worked hard, often picking up overtime, to be able to afford it. ani gasps so loud when she realises you went all out, hands clasped over her mouth as she shouts "you fucking didn't! oh my god! i thought i was being robbed you fucking asshole!" as she complains about how loud you were.

[ti-girl1226]

Duke would use Martha and Thomas as an excuse to over power Bruce. Duke can see ghost y’all meaning he can probably find a way to communicate with them. (He probably uses sign due to him already knowing it for Cass) Anyway I can see him fully being done with Bruce who he dosnt really see as a dad dad, like sure he’s his dad on paper but Duke knew his parents for a long long time, like his dad was there and active and his mom was to and they still are alive just not there mentally. He would definitely get super sick of Bruce at some point and just go to Martha and Thomas, probably Martha and just bitch about Bruce to them. Oh and Steph and Cass definitely know about this they all come together at least once a month to bitch about Bruce together although Cass has few things to bitch about but she dose find it hilarious what the other two have to say.

Duke sitting on his bed holding his pillow as Cass paints his nails he’s talking to the group: -So then he yelled at me for buying bat burger in patrol! Like sorry I’m hungry You don’t pay me for lunch!

Steph sitting on a chair next to Cass painting her own nails: Right! Wait is Martha here?

Duke: Martha is always here

Martha nods watching the kids with a smile while Steph turns to Martha’s chair to imitate eye contact because it felt weird for her just to talk into space

Steph: So your Son today *cue fifty minutes rant about how Bruce tried to adopt her again which leads into how he then forced her to go to her apartment earlier like the manor dosnt have room for her and how Alfred had already had made her dinner so she guess she was okay with leaving to her apartment but she really wanted the pancakes that Alfred was gonna make the next day*

One day Steph is mad at Bruce for not giving his credit card away so she drags Duke into the room.

Steph: Is Martha here?

Duke, somewhat scared for his own life: no?

Steph: Martha!

Martha runs into the room or well through the wall but into the room still. Bruce is looking at Steph like she’s crazy and Duke is just confused.

Duke: she’s here now

Steph: can I use your sons credit card? (She says like an angel not the gremlin she was five seconds ago)

Martha gives a nod

Duke: she says yes.

cue the rest of the Batkids coming to Duke to get Martha’s or Thomas permission for things. There list are different on what they have granted but here are some of the highlights for each kid i think would be cool

-Thomas-

Jason- although I am tempted to put gun and every now and then go back to crime lord business because “back in my day we could only have the mob do things if we slept with them or gave them money” (no he did not elaborate on the slept with part.) I have to say it infact no matter how much Jason may want it to be that it is not that. It is when he asked if he could pay for the therapy with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn with Bruce’s card.

Tim- Dating Kon and Bernard at the same time. (Yes I ship timberkon)

Dick- sadly doesn’t need much or ask for much so his is kinda lame compared to the last two but his would be to sneak out Duke and Cass.

Steph- Tea sessions being paid for with Poison Ivy, Cat woman, Harley Quinn.

Cass- a cat

Damian- to watch Harleys hyenas while the Ivy and her were on a date. Bruce never found out

—Martha —

Jason- college

Tim- got back into cloning at one point for the fun of it.

Dick- Not a really a request but wanted to get the same type of pearls that she had and give them to Cass as a gift. So he asked for the manufacture or well business she bought them from.

Steph- Baby names and advice. Duke wasnt there for his powers but one night a few years after she had her kid around the day that would have bin there birthday she cried and just felt like a shit mom, and just talked and talked about it just putting her feelings out there. The next morning she woke up to a note on her desk in a nice cursive telling her she was a good mom and how if she ever wants to she can just ask and Martha will find her baby for her. After all ghost don’t need to stay in one place and can’t be noticed.

Cass- outfit advice, although unprompted and not requested. She like the suggestions

Damian- again kinda veering away from request but he wished to know what kinda paint he should use and she told him where her old art room was and which key to take form Alfred to unlock it.

A little not at the end from me I’m not trying to make Steph look materialistic here or that she is like a gold digger, I just think that Steph would first off end any other arguments, and arguments is a strong word here, with “your not my dad” but she needs her money because she don’t work with Bruce not to get paid. And he got so much money what’s a few hundred, she saw the amount Wayne industries brings in when she was dating Tim and even after that he can spare some change. Also felt weird having Duke fight with Bruce for the same reason because I feel like both Steph and Duke if they do get in trouble ever they just pull the your not my dad card. Steph will do the your not my dad like that one meme. Duke however will put on the manipulation to a ten and go “why are you being so controling and like this? Are you trying to be my dad?! Are you trying to replace my dad?” Then cue sobs and a I’m staying at Dicks, Jason’s, or Steph’s (if he’s feeling really petty he’ll say he’s going to Clark’s) and then a dramtic packing of things through (fake) tears Cass ask where he’s going and he pretends to be Sooo guilty saying he dosnt know when he’ll be back and he promises he’ll be back for her dance recital and also to tell Damien he’ll be there for the art show he has in a week. He never makes it out the door. Bruce gives in.

[kissohee]

bestfriend!sub!sohee x reader ☆ nsfw ; wc : 1.1k ☆ one-shot mdni! synopsis; your best friend spills that he has never gotten a blowjob before. what kind of friend would u be to not give him his first. warnings; use of good boy, cum eating @wontonstaro!

You knew Sohee like you knew the back of your hand. Unless it was about his sexual life. Sohee never opened up to you about how he spent his time in the bedroom, and you honestly didn't care. It didn't bother you if he never wanted to open up like that.

You on the other hand, had almost zero shame with him. If it was about a guy, you would give the most detail possible, maybe even sometimes acting it out so he'd understand the full picture, and he didn't mind.

Sohee actually like that you were comfortable enough with him to even share things like that. Thing was, Sohee hadn't really experienced much. Everything he had experienced was through you.

Guy couldn't find your clit? In his head he'd note to look for it first. Guy used to much tongue? He'd note to not do that. Guy didn't make you cum? He's sure with the amount of information he has from you, he could.

The most he got was a hickey, his hand, and a lame dry humping session with his ex-gf. He didn't seek out sex either, but yeah sometimes he was a little jealous of the guys you spoke about.

You actually had so much experience that it made him a little embarrassed inside. You had done almost everything he'd watch on porn sites, and could probably write a sex book if you really wanted too.

But you'd much rather spend your time ranting or storytelling to him.

"He brought me back to his house," you start telling Sohee about the date you with some random guy your other friend had tried setting you up with, "His house.. on a first date!" You lay down on his bed, Sohee sitting up across from you.

"Okay?" He raises an eyebrow at your complaining, "That's a problem, why?"

"Well. We just met and I wasn't look for a one night stand." You state as if it was obvious, "But he kept begging me for a blowjob!"

"He was begging you for one?" Sohee hated to admit that sometimes he would get lost at your stories. Why would someone ever beg someone for a blowjob? Was it ever that serious?

"Yeah he kept going on about how it was all he could think about whenever I opened my mouth or talked. Perfect size or whatever. What a creep." You pout thinking about the bad experience.

Sohee watched as you talked, now that you pointed it out, he couldn't stop staring at your mouth. Hes never gotten a blowjob before but now that it's in his mind, he does think you have a nice mouth shape.

Sohee was too busy looking at your mouth to take notice in the way he was starting to strain in his pants. "Sohee? Are you listening?"

"Huh?" He looks at your eyes and nods, "Yeah sorry continue."

"Were you trying to see if my mouth would be a perfect size for your dick?" You caught him in the act, but you weren't mad. You actually let out a small laugh to make sure he doesn't think you are upset about it.

"No!" He immediately defends himself, "Well... kind of? I've never had a blowjob so I wouldn't know what a perfect size is or anything like that. Like it's your mouth I dont understand how-"

"You what?!" He gets interrupted, your eyes widen when you process Sohee's sudden confession.

"I've never gotten a blowjob before.." He almost whispers, head shrinking into his shoulders.

"Like ever?" Your mouth finally noticing the bulge in his pants.

"Not really.."

"Do you want one?" Sitting up, you look at him with a smile on your face.

Sohees mind goes blank. Did you just offer to give him a blowjob? His best friend? Should he accept?

"Uh..." he trails, unsure if he should say yes. You like jokes, what if you're joking? If he says yes and you're joking, he might as well just die there.

"Sohee it's a simple question. I'm very willing to give you a blowjob, I think we trust each other enough."

"Sure." He says with a slight nod, watching you as you make your way to him. Sitting on your knees in front of him, the way you look up at him already has him in shambles.

You help unzip his pants and pull his boxers down. Sohee truly believes hes dreaming right now, lifes not real, you're actually not on your knees in front of him but at your house. The second your hand comes in contact with his cock, he's reminded that this really is his reality.

"Cute.." You whisper to his cock before softly licking his tip. Sohee shuts his eyes and when you do it again, his whole body shivers. Nothing has ever felt so good to him in his entire life.

"S-shit." He curses when your mouth fully takes his cock, the feeling of him hitting the back of your mouth making him twitch.

You remove your mouth to look up at him, "Look at that.. Perfect fit." Your eyes look so pretty from his point of view.

You place your mouth on his cock again, this time gliding your tongue all around it. Sohees eyes are shut, your spit feeling warm against him.

You bob your head, earning small moans from him, his hands holding him up. He feels so good he swears he'll faint when he cums, and he almost does when you moan against his cock.

The feeling sending vibrations, causing him to accidentally thrust his hips foward, making you gag. "Sorry.." He moans when you lick his tip again.

His hands start to curl up, holding onto his bedsheets as his breathing gets heavier.

The feeling is unreal, he does everything he can to not fuck your mouth, you're already feeling so good on him.

He used to be upset that he never got to experience much, especially at his age, but now he's starting to feel better about it. He's sure no one could've given him a better blowjob than you currently are.

You feel him twitch in your mouth, taking it a sign to go faster. Drool dripping out the sides of your mouth.

His moans get louder and more frequent as you're sure he's close. His face scrunches up as his head falls back.

"Fuck..." he grunts, the feeling of his climax only inches away. He opens his eyes and makes eye contact with you. The image of you looking up at him while your sucking him off forever engraved in his memory.

You take your mouth off of him, but continue stroking him. Your mouth wide open, ready for him to cum.

And when he does, he's a moaning mess. His cum shoots straight into your mouth and he watches as you swallow his cum and lick the cum around your lips.

"Good boy," you smile innocently at him, as if you hadn't just been doing far from innocent things to him, "How'd that feel?"

His eyelids heavy as a smile crept onto his face, "Really good. Thanks."

😭 my poor baby sohee never has fics on here 💔 - 🐠

[idiotic-anon]

I JUST RANTED TO MY DM ABOUT TMA AND THEY WERE TAKING NOTES AND THIS IS WHAT THEY WROTE-

Jonathan sims. Protag, promoted to head archivist of magnus institute by douche, called Gerald, gerry, british, ew. Doesn't like being peeled by banana. Hates spider books, told book writer to fuck himself. Attacked by evil book when he was 8. (?) Teenager came over and got fucking obliterated. saved by lesbian powers of friendship. fucking idiot femboy. Given a life or death deal by other femboy. runs from the police, based. Blah blah bible jesus magic.

(VERY, Very tumblr)

Gertrude was weird as fuck, Stopped ritals. (lame) Dead.

martin, not dead, Tumblr man. Pussy

Gay secretary, dead and shipped. bi, but also freddy mercury. Brother got peeled like a fucking banana. named Timmy

saucy sasha, lead to death by very sexy wasp lady, and killed by not sasha. also a (possibly) lesbian.

Melanie, QUEER, gets with johns ex. some Lesbians hate the gays in this world

Basira, Also gay, cop. Gay for other cop

Daisy, Cop, Stop resisting, probably seduced by gay secretary

Gerald, Woobie, weird name. not existing, lonely as fuck, super cancer victim, killed by book. (lol) Doen't understand colors. Likes analogies, bad at doing them. (anon is a simp)

Micheal, made anon make funny noise, gertrude sacrificed to spriral, followed map to yellow door to random sukuna heart and did a fusion dance dead as fuck.

Helan, Kinky

Nikola, Ringmaster, Made of some non meat material, steals peoples skin, (based). Tried to steal jons skin, ~moist~

Jurgen, kinky

Mike, Struck by lightning, didn't even get superpowers. Chased by lightning man for spiral. Likes ex al'teora. just like me frfr. George floyd lady beats the shit out of him.

Jared, Likes bones. Steals bones. https://youtu.be/IyhJ69mD7xI. Stolen by kinky lady. late game character,

3 gay old people, Douche, Simon, Peter.

Simon, gay, GAY, old.

Peter, Lonely. Devil may care, Wants to seduce martin,

Oliver, a twink. I can fix him, psychic, dead boyfriend. End.

georgie, Jons ex, Tumblr, "Thou shall know no fear.", Dating melanie. also QUEER.

Supernatural fear entities? arbitrary, that are actually one thing, not at all like colors, no idea what they're talking about

Eye= fear of being watched, tzeentch

vast= fear of falling, and inconsequence

web=spiders, lack of control.

Dark=Dark

Choking= No air, (kinky)

Spiral= Fractal paterns. Crazy

Stranger=uncanny

Hunt=Fear of being prey, carnal fears.

Desolation=fear of loss, arson,

Slodder=Fear of violence

Corruption=Flies, corruptions

(wasp lady, SMASH)

End=Death

Flesh=Being eaten, beetlejuice

Lonely= being alone

AVATARS ARE A THING?

avatars are just buddhist ghosts

Jon is ghost?

Jon is a ghostbuster, but also an exorcist. and bi/ace also a ho.

Douche is back, Secretly a member of eye cult for and a founder of not scp foundation, old as fuck, used eyes like doctor bright, killed gertrude. DOUCHE COMING IN WITH THE METAL CHAIR, beats the shit out of book man.

John was marked by every entity and released not tzeentch onto the world. All entities are gay for eachother, tricks john like a dumbass to do a ritual

Books are evil, lighteners? more than one Necronomicon. Dumbass bookkeeper. Pandoras book.

There are seasons? 5

Flesh book

Spooder book

Ex al'teiora

Bone turners tale. Steals your bones. (based)

JJK

-coffin, ate jons ribs.

-Yellow door

soul anchors, can sell bones.

-Notes

worse ship names than vivziepop fandoms.

femboy on femboy crime

Seriously, what the fuck are these ship names. Back in my day they were normal god damnit.

[viktormaru]

arcane season 2 spoilers

figured out the main thing pissing me off abt arcane viktor rn is that jayce dictates his lore when before they just parallaled each other jayce decides if viktor lives or dies, how to "fix" him, what the right choice is and then jayce gets to be sad abt it

that and making it that the spark for viktor to return to zaun to help his ppl was actually going fucking completely bonkers on void murder gel instead of... you know... empathy

and the void magic instead of the techmaturgy of course of course

(copied that from my twitter but adding more)

i think viktor was very cool bcs he was sooooo moved by empathy my man was hurting so bad from seeing ppl suffer but life kept fucking hurting him again and again, his epifany of the Glorious Evolution seems like was born from Desperation. It was the only logical solution in his eyes, the only explanation to how cruel people could be and how to stop it. We know hes not right, but he believes it very much so and is trying to prove it, albeit clearly its been going... not perfect, one might say.

Now the whole "i looked into the void now I have visions and do what the magic gel says" plot is.... so lame in comparison, even though they tried to keep his empathy thing. It doesnt hit the same. He just looks like hes delusional, like he decided to be a savior on a whim

anyway rant over for now im sick and dont feel great so I felt like yapping