#lame ramblings

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I think I made some of you guys a little sad with my last post, so you can have some happy aftermath twins before part 2, as a treat ❤️

[bigmanpiwi]

They got no clue where tf they're going

I've been rotating them in my mind like a couple of pebbles in a rock tumbler. I have. So many thoughts about stan and edas relationship specifically.

It's not a typical romantic relationship. I mean, they were only married for 7 hours, so. They're like-minded, kindred spirits... who constantly tried to pull the wool over the others' eyes. Almost every time they have crossed paths (they part ways to lead their own lives and do their own thangs but they always end up stumbling across eachother again through one hairbrained scheme or another) it's like a race to see who could rob the other blind first. And suuuure, maybe they've conned each other a few times, but they never stay mad. They understand the hustle. You can't blame a scorpion for stinging. They're just a couple of wandering nomads who find solace in each other AAAAA IDK WORDS‼️‼️‼️

[lame2882]

Would've put these in the tags but then found myself rambling so we're doing a normal text reblog instead

I have a few (mostly abandoned) wips that all happen at the same school. They were all based around supernatural events. I tend to call this little universe/school/city Devil Towne. I guess that's the "official" name but I'm still debating on an actual name for it. Anyway, these wips include (Also bear with me, I made a lot of these stories in middle school, but I like to look back on them fondly):

☆An Angel's Mercy (Semi-Abandoned): So Merci may have set heaven on fire. The good news, she's off guardian angel duty for a while. The bad news, turns out by setting heaven on fire she also released a lot of demons on earth. As punishment, she's sent to earth to put all the demons back. Her cousin Percy gets to come along too, because who's better to help out with demons than the prince of hell himself (even if he has a few screws loose).

(Note: This story above is kinda the reason why everything below is happening)

☆ White Eyed Freaks (Abandoned): Mysterious creatures are possessing students and the few people that are immune to being possessed are in charge of exorcising the weirdos

☆Seer on a String (Abandoned): Beatrice comes to find out that she can see the ghosts and demons at her school. With the help of a mysterious entity, she tries to help these supernatural beings find peace and leave the school

☆Ghost Freaks (In Progress): Rei woke up on the side of the road one day with no memory of who he is and an arsenal of strange, ghost-like abilities. Cole is the quiet boy that's been able to see ghosts from a young age. Cole thinks it's a coincidence, Rei thinks it's fate, but regardless they work together to figure out Rei's past and why in the world he's half ghost all of a sudden.

Ghost Freaks actually has its own tumblr blog from 2020 when I thought I was ready to start the comic. It has a prologue, a cover for chapter one, and that's it. Regardless, if you want to check it out, you can at @ghost-freaks-comic

The art is kinda bad and I'll probably redraw everything when I get the motivation and straighten things out and sew up some plot holes.

But I thiiiink that's it. I'm not sure, Devil Towne's stories are literally all over the place among various google doc accounts, Word, thumbdrives, etc. from several years of just letting my brain run wild with my fixation with the supernatural. There's one story that was a collaboration with an old friend but I'm not counting that one because I don't talk to that friend anymore.

Maybe I'll return to these wips and improve on their original storylines since I think 5+ years of writing experience will really do them a favor.

Curious: are any of your wips connected to each other? 👀

[otome-dissection]

Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.

It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).

It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.

(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).

It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).

It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.

It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.

It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.

She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)

It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.

It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.

Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.

On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)

[sleeping-willows]

How a shitty perm inadvertently changed SY's life

SY, being SY is absolutely fed up with a cosplayer because their LBH cosplay isn't perfect. So, he leaves a 3k word scathing comment on their post pointing towards all the things they fucked up.

the cosplayer's only words to it are "do it urself then lol"

So SY, of course, does

But SY wants it to be absolutely perfect. No amount of wig styling can match the beauty of LBH's natural curls!

Cue to SY, who (for my convenience's sake) already has long hair, deciding that, if he already said he's not going to use a wig, why not get a perm to match LBH's hair?

He goes out and gets the perm with his sister's hairstylist. A picture of LBH in tow, for reference.

He lowkey thinks its ugly after getting it, but oh well, he's committed to the bit this much already, might as well continue.

SY continues with his cosplaying endeavors and enlists his mom to help him learn how to sow. He'd never disgrace LBH with a store bought cosplay! No, it has to be handmade.

A few months have passed and his perm has settled. It almost looks as good as LBH's now! He's pretty much done with the actual cosplay now too, clothing-wise. Now all he has to do is learn cosplay makeup.

Uh. Yeah. Makeup.

He swallows his pride and asks his little sister for help with that, too.

It isn't actually that bad, if he's being honest.

He takes a few more weeks to work on his cosplay (lets pretend makeup is really easy for SY to learn idk) and then he's done!

He takes pictures in it and goes to a con to show off his work.

Cue a confused Luo Bing-ge, who, having just transmigrated to the modern world, is wondering how, exactly, there's a double of him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe I'll write a part 2 tomorrow? I've no idea

[girldriveroscar]

the cut of this suit is going to be the death of me idk idk mild nsfw ahead

something very erotic about like. fabrics pulling each other out of place with every shift. his suit jacket dragging against his shirt sleeves, already tight around the shoulders. the pulled up material bunching in the armpit where he's cold from dried sweat

his pant seams holding on for dear life as he squats. balancing on the tip of his toe just to keep the highest point of tension in his thigh, careful not to shift weight into his ass because there is genuinely No room left back there lol. cotton briefs getting squeezed up into the creases of his thighs and unable to adjust the lumpiness when he stands.

just a lot of unseen movement happening between each layer that's Incredibly uncomfortable and overstimulating in a totally non-erotic way but wonderfully erotic for the guy who wants to see him squirm around (ME =D) yeah. the attempt at smartness/neatness and the humiliation of constantly needing to fix yourself. suits or whatever.

guh.

edit: i did in fact go crazy.

[joltrify]

Klyntar/symbiote Ben.

Return of BENOM

[uncaffeinatedbirb]

Just woke up from a nap, and remembering the vivid dream that I was comparing MelJay and Jayvik to.......socks

Like..Mel and Jayce are like mismatched socks...they work together...may even look like a match sometimes but on closer inspection there's a difference..It feels different...it may feel comfortable, look good and alrighty even! but the fit is..off...While Jayce and Viktor are a matching pair of socks.. they're soulmates..they just fit...they are partners...in all possibilities, they'll find each other every other laundry day (lifetime). They are just meant to be. No matter how much they miss each other or if they lose the other.. they'll eventually wind up together :))

[spacebubblehomebase]

I just noticed, in your HHStargazers AU no one has pupils - except for Alastor and, if she's canon, Carmilla. Does that mean slit pupils are a sign of a demon in disguise?

Good eye! 👈👈👀 (Pun unintended.) Though I don't really plan for this trait to be repeatedly shared amongst the disguised demons. Mostly to not limit my designs to an obvious tell. But the slit pupils were indeed intentional flaws I added in for those two in particular. Because according to MY headcanon, both angels and demons are beings beyond human comprehension. Thus, it's only to be expected that even when they TRY to fit in, they'll be unable to keep EVERY aspect of their uncanny nature concealed. At best, they're imperfect imitations of what "normal" should be. It just so happens that in my AU, angels have a much easier time concealing most of their little quirks and oddities away than the sinners for my own reasons and as for WHY no one ever grew suspicious of the eye thing, it's because Charlie's curiosity could be easily curved. While for Lucius to point this out, he'll have to admit that he's been staring at Alastor's eyes a lot whenever he gets close enough to drown in the depths of his gaze and- EHEM!!! Which he's NEVER done, mind you! AhahaHAH- What slit pupils??? Never noticed those before. Nuh-uh. NO siree. NOPE! Lucius is normally so, SO normal about Alastors VERY much normal eyes in a TOTALLY normal amount of normal. A-ANYWAAAYS!!! Lucius would also be a hypocrite if he was bothered by them considering his own occupation and the people he's usually surrounded by (yet to be revealed). As for the other humans, Alastor doesn't care enough about their opinions for it to be a threat to him and people often just avoid the guy unnerving them with his creepy ass stare. So it's all good! Hope you like these bonus fun facts! 'Cause I have a feeling I left you with just as much questions as answers, but that's the fun of an ongoing story, yeah? Stay tuned~! 😉✨️ -Bubbly💙

[lame2882]

I don’t think I’ll be cutting my hair short again for a while

I struggle a lot with my appearance.

Mini vent below, I guess?

Growing up in a religious family, I wasn’t really able to express myself very well. Had to always wear modest clothing, couldn’t get anything pierced (except maybe my ears, but I never did that either), and just never got to experiment with clothes and my appearance in general. It still affects me a lot even though I’ve been out of that religion for a few years now.

Being trans also kinda makes it difficult. I want to pass as a man and for some reason it’s difficult to do that with the way I want to dress. Hopefully testosterone helps that after a while, we’ll see.

I’m trying to learn how to express myself. I hope to get piercings and tattoos in the near future and get some money to buy clothes that I genuinely like instead of just wearing whatever I think I *should* wear to appease those around me.

I just struggle with dealing with things like dysmorphia and general self loathing. I see such cool and amazing people online wearing cool clothes and just them expressing themselves beautifully, and I want to do the same but I just feel like *I* ruin things. Everything is so cool until I wear/do it. It sucks.

Silly picrew chain thingy !!

What I look like vs. what I want to look like

Tagging: @akiseochi @bilegyrtheking @bex0xo-xoxo @anystalker707 @gnomecity @cringefail-loser @volk-swag-genitalia + anyone else to wants to join :3

[neonhellscape]

okay its no secret i dont buy into marazhai being the persona he puts on. so as i've officially met him in game now, im making a list of all the in-game reasons i think he's a bit of an idiot [which i love btw. i find him far more compelling if he's a bit stupid/weird and he's trying so hard not to be but you just know nobody in commorragh is inviting him to parties]

the very first time you get a glance of him on a rooftop and. 'deal with this' "of course" proceeds to just walk off like 3 seconds after the other two

ambushes you. has you cornered. is in optimal position to kick your ass frankly, high ground and better weapons and utilising shock against you. ...he bitches at you for a while, gets insulted, then runs off into the forest with a maniacal cackle

heinrix fired a mild insult [considering what he's like to everyone else its barely an insult] and he took big enough issue with it to start saying how he'll break him and turn him into a pet. oh sure dude you're responding super well to this mild comment from the guy who accidentally insults everyone and their entire ancestral line at some point

i think it says something that he's learned to speak your language fluently too. that Has to be some kind of Yikes moment to admit publicly in drukhari culture. buried family secret great great grandfather drukhari-georg learned to speak mon keigh and now we claim he just spoke oddly because was shot in the head as a child to prevent the shame

he also knows the mon keigh lore that says youre a super special little guy as rogue trader and actually LISTENS to the fact you're the special little guy as rogue trader. and he does treat you as more equal/with more respect than the other characters. thats not just a drukhari culture yikes thats what gets you checked for a concussion or brain damage

literally socially atrocious enough its believed he's working with you [read: with you. not using you, not manipulating, cooperating. this is a big difference i feel] and only he himself doesnt believe it

ignore the fact he eventually DOES work with you which. is its own follow up statement

challenges you to fight him, to give chase then and there. i made him wait while i went through english government simulator where i queued for multiple days, did multiple day/week voidship trips back and forth, got distracted by accidentally starting jae's romance, pasqal telling me to servitorise her, getting blackout drunk with her, shipwide broadcast tm, giving her a voidship, her getting me a space cat, attacked by pirates, dealt with a plague, explored a few extra systems.......................

he destroys your palace. ...its rebuilt effectively within a week. most of the damage is in bodies which are just sent to the poor district to rot [almost feels worse than the damage done good job imperium]

the throne has claw marks. he could've blown it up or shot it or piled corpses on it but no he wanted to sit on the fancy chair and so turned into a common housecat mauling the sofa arm

how long was he just sitting there lounging on that chair? again see how long i kept him waiting. he was just sitting there trying to find a comfy position on this [for him] kinda small chair JUST so he could briefly taunt, break your window with his space motorbike, jump off the chair in a dramatic [but not gunna lie not that impressive] feat of gymnastics, then fly out. he doesnt even shoot at you as he leaves

i will continue my list as i see more that entertain me

[nukacourier]

If you don't like people pointing out that Arcade is a loser with a capital L do you even love Arcade Gannon at all or merely the concept of him

[littlefankingdom]

~ Teen Titans: Year One

Batman checking if the place his kid hangs out at with his friends is "secure" enough, like the over protective father that he is.

[jobikinn]

rare art post!!!

[koreplus]

babe wake up 11 years of ib

[notachair]

Since atla is again having an extra surge of popularity, I'm shooting my shot:

[ID: (Rest of image description in alt). At the bottom of the image sits the text: "Zuko: Okay. Well, I can't remember how it starts, but the punchline is "leaf me alone, I'm bushed."" ID end].

Did we ever find out what the setup for this joke was? I feel kinda haunted by it. If not- anyone wanna make their best or worst guesses?

edit: I now know what "I'm bushed" mean, but go ahead anyway 👍

haunted thoughts in tags ↓