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alder-saan · 2 years ago

Text

The taste of Hell

Jane Murdstone x fem! reader

Words count: 3.3k

warnings: mention of slavery, child abuse. NSFW CONTENT (sub! Jane, fingering Jane receiving)

You promised Jane never to betray her...

thanks to @tanith-rhea for beta-reading it <3

The door opened before your eyes. In the giant golden room, already full of people, you could feel joy, amusement. You knew this room, its long white curtains, its big windows, its wonderful paintings. All was shining in beauty and happiness. Everyone was wearing their most beautiful clothes and masks. You too, of course. It was your first official ball. You had just been made lady by the king. You knew you were an exception. You were born a slave. You were raised as a maid. You were now a Lady, and not by marriage. You were a Lady because you had saved the Queen’s life. Pure luck, though. You had heard a conspiracy against her and informed her.

But it wasn’t your first ball.

It wasn’t your first ball dressed as a man.

It wasn’t your first ball at the Lambertus Mansion.

___

“Jane, are you sure? What if someone discovers us?”

“No one will, it’s a masked ball!” the young girl smiled.

“Are you really sure?”

“I am. Trust me.”

“I trust you.”

She took your hand in hers, you blushed. Thanks to your fox mask, she couldn’t notice it. She had dressed you with a man suit, and you really looked like a young boy in it.

“Do you have your invitations?” a man standing in front of the metal gate asked.

“Yes, Jane and Edward Murdstone.” Jane handed him the piece of paper, and he let you in.

Once you were walking in the garden, she chuckled.

“See? I told you no one would notice it.”

You nodded.

“I know it’s bad, but I’m glad Edward is ill.”

“I am too.”

The sun was sinking behind the trees, and you couldn’t help but feel this day was a perfect day like you would never have again. Your hand in hers, you felt the warmness of her soft skin. You were fourteen. You were in love with her. But she was your mistress. It wasn’t appropriate. So all these feelings, you hide them deeply in your heart. You arrived in front of big marble stairs.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“I am,” you answered.

You climbed the stairs, hand in hand.

When the big wooden doors opened, you gasped. You knew why Jane wanted to wear her corset so tight, why she wanted to be in this blue velvet dress. Everyone was wearing the same type of clothes. It was something you could never have imagined. The colours were dancing in front of your eyes, lost in a golden sea.

“You look like a fish,” Jane giggled behind her bird mask.

You closed your mouth.

“Sorry, it’s just… I never saw this before… It’s so beautiful!”

“Now come and dance with me. You wouldn’t want me to dance with another boy.”

“I’m not a boy.”

“You wouldn’t want me to dance with a boy.”

You definitely wouldn’t want this. You placed a hand on her back, and took hers with the other, like you saw her do with her dance teacher, every Wednesday evening. Then, you began to move, in the rhythm, trying your best not to step on her toes. She smiled, and you felt your heart racing. You were so glad she couldn’t see your cheeks, because you knew they were red. She was glad you couldn’t see hers too. You were so absorbed by her eye colour. Blue as a July sky, as an expensive gemstone. She had gemstone eyes. And those eyes didn’t belong to a maid like you. They belonged to the most beautiful prince, who could take care of them, who could give them the most beautiful case. They needed to rest on red velvet, in a golden wood bed. They needed to be cherished, polished. You would never afford these in your life. You knew it. You weren’t worth her. She deserved the world. You could never offer the world.

After a moment, you stopped and decided to go outside and visit the gardens. Many young people were near the pond, watching a swan, and you walked to see it too, but she took your hand and headed to an oak. Thousands of fireflies and glowworms were changing the foliage into a second night sky. You removed your mask to have a better sight on the branches. She did so.

“Why did you want me to come with you?” you asked.

“Because if I was alone, all the boys would want to dance with me.”

“You don’t want to dance with a boy?”

“They would think I want to marry them.”

“You don’t want to marry someone?”

“There is one, and only one person I want to marry.”

You smiled. So she was in love? You hoped the boy was a good boy, you really wanted to know him, to be sure she was in good hands.

“Who is he? Do I know him?”

“It’s you. I want to marry you.”

Your eyes widened. She wanted to marry you? YOU? So, she liked you too, and not only as a friend? This was probably the best day in your life, or maybe this was a dream. You felt like a proposed lover. SHE was telling you she wanted to marry you. She was so perfect, and she chose you. You, over all people. Over all the boys she chose a girl, and that girl was you. But you were realistic. You shook your head, half disbelief, half disapproval. She frowned, her heart sank.

“It’s impossible, Jane, first, I am a maid, second I am a woman.”

“I know…” she looked awkwardly at the grass “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ha-”

“But if I was a prince, I would have proposed to you already.”

She looked at you, her lips parted as if she wanted to tell something, but she remained silent. The wind murmured something only the leaves could understand. She took a step towards you.

Her lips crashed onto yours, and she held you close. Jane was a bit taller than you, and you loved having to look up so see her. Now her mouth was on yours, you loved even more having to lift your chin. Her lips were soft, like her hands in yours, and you wondered if maybe, your lips were rougher, like your hands in hers. She broke the kiss, and the realisation hit you. You kissed. You kissed a girl, she kissed a girl.

“We’ll burn in Hell” you whispered, horrified.

“If Hell tastes like this, I want to go there,” she replied.

Your face went crimson. She wasn’t actually saying that, was she? She took your hands.

“Be my lover, be my secret lover like we read in those books. I’ll always keep you by my side if you promise to always be loyal to me.”

“I promise.” you said without even thinking.

_____

You crossed your arms in front of your stomach, remembering Jane’s father’s reaction when he learnt you had been to the masked ball with her. The following day, you were sold to another family.

Jane never answered your letters, and after a year without any reply, you simply stopped sending her mail.

Sometimes, you missed your days in Murdstone’s mansion, even if you learnt later that you were a maid by name only, there. An unpaid maid who’s life is a property isn’t a maid. You had been a slave. And this was a part of your life you wanted to forget. But her. You couldn’t forget her. She had been your only support, your only friend, and your first love.

You breathed in. It wasn’t the time to think about the past. You were here to spend a good evening.

You breathed out and walked in the room, avoiding the middle, on which couples were dancing. And in a corner, you noticed a tall woman, alone, watching something outside. Her dress was blue, and her feathered mask was making her look like an exotic bird. You smiled. You always loved tall women. Maybe because of Jane. You walked towards her and took your lowest voice. Since you were dressing like a man, you couldn’t let anyone think you weren’t one.

“Good evening, my Lady,” you said.

She turned her head to look at you. She had blue eyes, wonderful blue eyes which got you shivering.

“Good evening, Sir,” she replied coldly.

She definitely didn’t want to talk. But you wanted to try a little more. If she continued, you would abandon.

“Would you join me for a dance?”

“I’m afraid I’m not a good dancer, Sir, you should try with someone else.”

“But I wanted to dance with a tall blue eyed lady, tonight,” you offered her a big smile.

She let out a sarcastic chuckle. It wasn’t the expected reaction, but at least you had a reaction.

“Don’t play this game with me, young man, many have.”

“I play no game, my Lady. I just want to dance with you. What does it cost you to allow me one dance?”

“Fine. One dance.”

She didn’t seem really happy. But it was a victory. Now, you just had to make her like this dance. She held out her hand. You smiled and took it. Soon, you were dancing between other couples, your body against hers, your hand on her waist. You were guiding her, splitting the waves of the crowd. It was you and her. No one else mattered. In your head, you were alone. Everyone had just disappeared. But as you danced, you felt she was a bit stiff. Clearly, she didn’t trust you enough to abandon herself into your arms.

“Dear, why don’t you let it go?” you murmured.

“I told you I’m not a good dancer.”

“You are, I can feel it the way you move. But you are too tense. Do I make you nervous?”

“Very presumptuous, young man. You do, but every one would. I don’t trust anyone, that’s all.”

“And what could happen to you, here, dancing in the middle of a crowd? Trust me, I’m good enough to make you enjoy this dance. Stop thinking, let it go.”

She closed her blue eyes behind her mask and breathed out. Under your right hand, you could feel she was trying to relax.

Good girl, you thought.

“Thank you,” you said.

Now you could really dance. You swayed, swirled, you twirled, and you couldn’t help but notice her smile. It was a real smile, you knew it. She was truly enjoying this moment, as much as you enjoyed it. You turned her around, and her skirt flew around her. Her scent wrapped you, the music resounded in your ears. You were in Heaven with your tall blue eyed woman. For a few seconds, you imagined her to be Jane, and your heart raced. What would she look like now? Was she happy, with a good husband and some children? You shook your head. It wasn’t respectful. You were dancing with a woman, you couldn’t think about another. And so your thoughts focused again on your stranger.

Yes, she was a good dancer, probably better than you were, when she was younger she certainly was very popular. And when the music finished, some sweat drops ran on your forehead. You led her on the side of the room, trying to catch your breath.

“Did you enjoy this dance?” you asked, even though you already knew.

“Very much, thank you for this.”

“Would you join me for a walk in the gardens?”

She hesitated. You saw it in the way she squinted. But you were confident. You had just had one of your best dances ever, she couldn’t refuse you a walk.

“I don’t search for a husband, I don’t search for anything.”

“Me neither, I just want to enjoy a little time with a sweet stranger I just met.”

“Honeymouthing won’t lead you anywhere. I don’t know what you want but-”

“Your friendship for the evening. That’s all I ask.”

“And that’s all I have to give you.”

“Wonderful.”

She wrapped her arms around yours, and you went out. The outside air was cold, and as a sir, you gave her your jacket. It was a bit small for her, but she seemed to appreciate your respect for etiquette. You lost yourselves on the paths. Near the pond, lovers were gently kissing. She looked at them, and you couldn’t tell what she was thinking. It didn’t seem to be some disgust, she had that sad smile on her lips. You didn’t dare ask her why.

“Thank you for spending this time with me. I think I would have quit this ball if you didn’t come to ask me for a dance.”

It surprised you. She was not the kind of girl to open her heart like that to strangers.

“You’re welcome, I told you you could have a good time with me. Thank you for having accepted, I would have quit it too.”

She nodded. An owl hoot, far away.

“Why don’t you trust people?” you asked

“I don’t think I have to answer this question.”

“I don’t know who you are, I don’t know what you look like. You can tell me anything, I’ll just know a Lady in England thinks that.”

“You could recognize me by my height…”

“You could wear heels.”

She sighed. You smiled.

“Someone betrayed me. Someone who promised to be loyal to me forever betrayed me.”

“I’m sorry. I know it hurts.”

You walked towards the glittering oak under which you kissed Jane, so many years ago. You liked this place. You liked thinking about her.

“She promised me this under this very oak, exactly twenty years ago, at the same masked ball.”

You stopped. You promised to be loyal to Jane under this very oak exactly twenty years ago, at the same masked ball. Your heart raced. Impossible. Was she…

“Jane?”

She frowned, you hadn’t masked your voice. You couldn’t believe it, since the beginning, you were dancing with Jane Murdstone. You were dancing with your first love.

“Who are you and how do you know my name?” she wasn’t smiling anymore. Her gaze had turned cold again.

“I-”

Your hands reached the back of your head, and you untied your mask. Her eyes widened as she discovered your face.

“How dare you show your face in front of me, traitor?”

“I never betrayed you, Jane. I promise.”

“You ran away. My father told me. He told me you had left the mansion, leaving a letter which said you were afraid of me.”

“I never did such a thing!” you almost yelled.

“THEN WHY DID YOU GO?”

She took a step towards you. In her eyes, there was only anger, rage, hatred. You took a step back, intimidated.

“When you left me, I was alone. You were my only friend. And I loved you. Were you really afraid of me? Did I disgust you? Do I still disgust you?”

“He sold me to another family.”

Tears ran on your cheeks.

“He told me I bewitched you. He told me I was the devil, and I couldn’t stay in the same house as you. He beated me so hard that day. I still have marks on my stomach. I never wanted to leave you. I sent you letters everyday for a year! I knew your father would read and destroy them, but I still had a hope you would find at least one letter. I’m sorry.”

She didn’t say a word. She simply took off her mask. Her gaze was sad, now.

“Will you forgive me?” you asked.

“Was it true? All that you said about my father. Was it true?”

“Truth, all the truth, only the truth. I promise.”

“Would you swear on the Bible?”

“I would.” you affirmed.

She closed her eyes. You cupped her face. She opened them.

“Jane, you never disgusted me. I loved you too”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. And it was as if she had never said that, as if she had to learn again how to say it. “I’m sor-”

You softly kissed her. It wasn’t really a kiss though, you simply brushed your lips against hers. But she kissed you. Her hands went on your hips, and she pulled you against her. All you had ever dreamed of was happening now. Your heart seemed to be on the verge of explosion. When you broke the kiss, you took refuge in her neck, to hide your tears. She held you tight.

“Do you think I’m beautiful?” she asked.

“I do. I always have.”

“Even after all these years? I’m so tall, so old…”

“You. Are. Perfect. You. Always. Have. Been.” you said, giving her neck a kiss between each word.

She squeezed you. Your lips kept wandering on her soft skin. She tilted her head, exposing even more skin to your sight. You smiled and kissed every inch of it while making her step back, until she was against the trunk of the oak. You wanted to kiss all the skin you could reach. You sucked her neck. She let out a moan and dissimulated it under a cough.

“Don’t hide those pretty sounds, please.”

You continued kissing and licking her neck, then you claimed her lips once again. You wanted more. You moved your knee between her thighs, and grabbed her collar, pulling her closer to you. When your tongue asked her to let it in, she didn’t even think about not letting it. She opened her mouth, and your tongues brushed against each other.

You grabbed her skirt with one hand, and gently pulled it up, slowly revealing one of her legs. When her skirt was up enough, you passed your hand under it, and reached her crotchless bloomer. She gasped. You kissed her lips, and she moaned into your mouth as your hands lingered on her inner thighs and touched her pussy. It was already wet, and you smiled against her mouth.

“Mmh, darling, you’re so wet for me…”

You sank your teeth into her lips and she whined as you rubbed her clit with your fingers.

“Please…”

“Please what, Darling?”

“Please, fuck me…”

You teased her folds with your fingertips, and entered them in her. She cried, and you crashed your lips on hers to muffle the sounds a bit. You didn’t want anyone to come near the oak. You twirled your fingers inside her cunt, caressing her most sensitive spot. Her tongue touched your lips, and you let it enter your mouth. You felt her breathing accelerating as your fingers moved in her cunt. Her walls were fluttering around you.

“More, more, please…” she panted.

You added a third finger inside her and hooked it like the others. With your other hand, you reached her clit and stimulated it. She bucked her hips, and seeing her squirming under your touch was one of the best feelings in the world. Her moans were getting more and more audible, You knew she was close. She was dripping on your hands. Around your knee, hers were weak and shook. She tilted her head back, breaking the kiss. You continued circling her little bundle of nerves.

“I-I’m so close,” she let out between two whines.

“Come for me, Darling,” you commanded.

She kissed you and she came, pinned against the oak, as you swallowed her whines. You let her catch her breath and her skirt fall on her legs, as if nothing just happened. You gently kissed her neck again.

“You did so good for me, Jane…”

She pulled you closer and chuckled.

“We’ll really burn in Hell…” she said.

You put your fingers to your mouth, sucking her arousal on them.

“If Hell tastes like this, I want to go there.”

_____

#gwendoline christie #jane murdstone x reader #jane murdstone

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