#ladies dont forget your worth

[jabibi-the-beef]

if my future husband doesn't duet 'ruler of my heart' with me whats the point

[hamilando]

ੈ✩ hereby announcing (smau) ੈ✩

pairing : f1 grid x fem reader ; lewis hamilton x fem reader

summary : you can take the girl out of the sport, but not the sport out of the girl

tw : emotional, fluff

a/n : thank you so much to @amberjazmyn for suggesting this ! lysm 🫶🏻 this ends on a cliff hanger ! and the time span is during the 2020- 2021 grid 🫶🏻 I was literally listening to judas by lady gaga while writing this 💀

·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ

liked by charlesleclerc, lewishamilton and 1,839,378 others

ynshayk a last photo shoot with @ Ferrari and @ charlesleclerc before the season ends ! Thank you @ vogue for having us 🤩❤️

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user1 Y/N X CHARLES, THE LOOKS !?

user2 thank god she did not choose modelling

user3 WE DONT NEED THIS, WE NEED YOUR CONTRACT

user4 when are you signing the next wdc ?

user5 stop torturing us and GIVE US THE DEETS

user6 I hate that because of covid we can't even see her 😭

user7 I swear to god, this lady is a damn sadist

user8 MA’AM, YOUR NEXT YEAR CAR !?

user9 don’t tell me Ferrari Kip’s kicking her out

user10 ha, no-

user11 they love her

user12 I mean she does not have many wins -

user13 SHE HAS WAY MORE THEN CHARLES !?

user14 she got the seat after sebastian vettel, she deserved it

user15 2021 is Y/N’s year

liked by lewishamilton, scuderiaferrari and 3,479,489 others

ynshayk with the speculations going around with my contract, I hereby announce my retirement from Formula 1 at the end of this 2020 season. It’s been a journey I wouldn’t forget, and with a very heavy heart and neck, I say goodbye to the tifosi family and sport 🏎️❤️🏎️ a very big thank you to @ charlesleclerc for supporting me when I felt it was not worth it, I couldn’t have reached this far without you 💪🏻

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user1 wha-

user2 WHAT !?

user3 DENIAL NO WAY

user4 don't do this to me at 3:57 am

user5 THIS MUST BE A JOKE

user6 IS IT APRIL 1?

user7 it's literally December

user8 crying a nile river here

user9 why did we not expect it

user10 we wanted a wdc 😭😭

user11 we support you whatever you do !!

scuderiaferrari please pass the tissues

user12 here admin 🤧

landonorris can’t believe you leaving me all alone 😔

liked by ynshayk

user13 next season, no chary/n?

charlesleclerc I will miss you too, shaky ❤️

liked by ynshayk

user14 we all know Charles cried while typing that

user15 shaky ? 💀

user16 it's a thing between them, Charles calls her shaky because after every win of hers, she always managed to fall down while getting if the car

lewishmailton congratulations on ending an excellent career 💪🏻🍾👏

liked by ynshayk

user17 the grid saying goodbye to her 😭😭😭😭

maxverstappen1 will miss you hijacking red bull headquarters

liked by ynshayk

user18 not max exposing her -

liked by ynshayk, carlossainz and 789,379 others

scuderiaferrari 3 years, 14 wins, 27 podiums, runner up world champion, rookie of the year, and a career which defied sayings. Y/N Shayk had an eventful career and we are glad that she was, she is and she always will be part of the tifosi family! Wishing her all the very best for her future !

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user1 admin I need tissues

user2 NOT THE OFFICIAL POST 😭😭

user3 I still can’t process it 😭

user4 I really wish this all turns out to be a bad dream

user5 the sebastian vettel horror

user6 ferrari lost seb and y/n

user7 who is the driver joining though ?

user8 I think they will announce near the new year

user9 ITS CARLOS

user10 WHAT

user11 check y/n's new post

user12 Carlos is replacing her

user13 MY CARLANDO !?

user14 carlos to Ferrari is deadly 💀

user15 and here I thought formula 1 was calm

user16 she came, she won and retired

user17 Rosberg inspiration 💪🏻

user18 SHE CAME, SHE SAW, SHE CAME, SHE SAW

liked by charleclerc, lewishamilton, carlossaimz and 2,589,378 others

ynshayk handing over my seat to one of the most talented person out there @ carlossainz, take care of @ chareslelcerc for me and try not to miss me too much 😙💪🏻😌 so excited for the 2021 grid 🤩

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user1 NOT MY CARLANDO BREAKING TOO !?

user2 WHAT IS THIS 2021!?

user3 FIRST CHARY/N AND NOW CARLANDO!?

user4 I am excited for the C square era

user5 LESSGOOO 💪🏻

user6 I love how y/n is laughing after giving up on ferrari strategies

user7 middle pic be her laughing after escaping the ferrari attic

user8 I am glad everyone is getting their happy ending

user9 the fans are not 😭😭

user10 what will y/n do now ?

user11 probably spend her millions

user12 she is rich ?

user13 HAHAH- it's an understatement

charesleclerc I swear I am not crying, something got in my eyes

liked by ynshayk

user14 CHARLES 😭😭

user15 of course it will be emotional, they literally grew up together 😭

user16 can't believe the shaky and charles era is over

carlossainz will do ❤️

liked by ynshayk

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 278,367 others

f1wags 7 time world champion, Lewis Hamilton was seen in Paris with ex- Formula 1 driver, Y/N Shayk. A normal outing or love in the city of love ?

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user1 that's it, I am going to the Himalayas

user2 I am coming too

user3 CANT WE GET ONE DAY WITHOUT DRAMA !?

user4 LIKE CHILL BRO LET US CHILL

user5 she literally said can't win one, but surely can fuck one -

user6 mate 💀

user7 LEWIS AND Y/N !?

user8 WHAT IS THEIR AGE GAP !?

user9 SHE IS BORN IN 1998

user10 13 years 💀

user11 they both are adults, can y'all calm down ?

user12 I am still not used to the ex formula driver 😭😭

[loquaciousscribe]

These types of blogs including danganronpa in it are so rare to find honestly but i like your blog alot :3

For my request could i request

Platonic Kirumi Tojo X Ultimate Butler reader?

Its fine if you dont wanna tho

KIRUMIIIII

KIRUMI TOJO <> ULTIMATE BUTLER READER

y'all get labeled the parents of the group

you both share a deep mutual respect, both recognizing each other's dedication to their respective roles. both admiring one another's work ethic and commitment to perfection.

you tend to work in the same areas just to keep each other company, but you don't really work on the same task at the same time unless it's efficient.

you're both very comfortable working together in silence, occasionally somebody will come in to talk to one of you and won't even notice the other one there

when y'all do talk it tends to go deep. like forget small talk, y'all are over here talking about what the true meaning of being alive is and how worth it is it to keep going while doing the dishes

y'all would get in courtesy fights. like kirumi opens the door and you're like "ladies first" and she's like "no, i insist" but then you're like "i mustn't" and you're both like that for like way longer than necessary

tea parties together:3

hopefully i did this request justice

we're gonna ignore the fact i had to start this over bc i accidentally closed the tab

[lorsdelapluie]

The scene takes place in the world of Puss in Boots 2, in Far far away. The reader in all my one shots concerning this world is the incarnation of bad luck, they are literally just trying to go through life and enjoy however they can.

IT IS HERE THE NSFW CHAPTER LADIES AND GENTS. EAT THIS UP. Im sorry it took so long but I hope it's gonna be worth it :' D

Note: "Chiqui" is spanish pet name that means "Little one".

Part 2- Mi Pareja.

Death was a jealous entity, you got to learn this the hard way. After your first encounter, which occured now several months ago, the wolf would oftenly visit to check on you. Pretending to check if the Lloronas weren't still mad at him for stepping in their ritual and therefore would take their revenge on you. Of course, you didnt buy any of this, you were pretty sure that Las famosas Lloronas didn't hold grudges against you and they probably forgot about that accident. As they were deeply focused on the man they were hunting and not you, you just happened to be in the way. And how would any creature in Far far away dare to hold grudge against Death itself.

Right now, you were stuck in a pool of mud, your high boots now uneapperant as you had your feet deep in this. You couldn't move, and by some strike of luck, a group of men were trying to help you. Tying a rope around you waist as they were trying to pull you away. You perceived every word with crips clarity as they gave you instructions to help you get out of this mess. Hearing every scruff and octave in the men's voice, something which reassured you in some way, making you think of the voice of your protector for the past few months. You felt the rope dip under the back of your belt, scratching your skin. That hurt. But as the pression on the rope grew, the pulls too, you soon could pull out your leg of the mess. You were walking right through this shit, and soon as you came closer to the shore, a hand extended to you.

Your eyes roses, encountering the face of the guy in front of you. He had pale blue eyes, strong face features and pretty brushed golden hair. His outfit, his face and his gentle way of brigging you back on the land with soft smile, even though you cleraly looked like a mess, made you wonder if you were not in front of a prince. What prince, this you could not know. Why ? Cause there was not only one prince in Far far away. Many of them were wealthy, which was the case of the one in front of you, you assumed.

"Who are you ?" you murmured out of curiosity. You turned around, looking at the lake of mud that you just left then your eyes met those pale blue eyes that were looking at you with concern. "Oh, sorry, I completely forgot about the part where i need to be civilized. So, thank you !"

"Vania. Prince Vania. And you are ?" So he was a prince indeed. He slowly grabbed your arm pulling you on the earth, further away from the lake as he looked at the rest of the men that looked like they belonged under his orders. He was ordering them to get you something to clean your... destroyed boots. "And please dont mention it, it's normal to help anyone in distress right ?"

You nodded, forgetting totally to answer the first question. You didn't see the need in doing so. Why would a prince need to know the name of someone who was selling flowers to get by life. Right ? But his gaze never shifted, one brow arching as to ask you to, silently, once again.

"Y/N... I'm sorry sir, I have nothing to offer you, I'm a simple florist... I can't see what any of my possession could bring to your Majesty."

"Fear not my dear. I do not seek for gifts. A smile on this soft face of yours, is already plenty enough to re-pay me." Did all prince talked that way ? What a weirdo you thought. Did he really expect you to swoon like the princesses or other women might do. You let out an awkward chuckle as you slowly slide your arm away for the grasp of Vania.

Deep down, you could sense that the discussion going on right now wasn't right, it was weird. The prince in front of you didn't do anything wrong, no. And here he was kneeling in front of you as he took care of your shoes once a towel was handed to him. Did he thought of you as another potential concubine ? Please, God no. And as soon as you were about to tell him that he needed not clean your shoes that you were much capable of doing so yourself, you could hear a whistle.

No one seemed to notice it, except you. This whistle... You knew where it came from. From a place that wasn't bathing in the sunlight, coming from the muzzle of that dear.. dear wolf. You turned around, searching for him.

As the sunny day turned into piercing winds and low temperatures, like those early dusk and unforgiving pitch-black nights. Was it already that late ? You were standing, facing towards the lake of mud, your eyes searching desperatly for the silhouette of the wolf that you knew was there. You shivered and wrapped your shawl tighter around your shoulders. You needed to go back home, if he manifested his presence to you, he wasn't pleased. You turned around to look at your savior.

"I need to go back home. Thank you once again." You didn't wait for an answer as your legs decided it was time for you to go. And you ran, you needed to go back home. You knew you weren't gonna be safe there, but something inside your mind just yelled at you to go there. For what ? Find an angry wolf ? Why would he be angry for anyway ? Where was he hiding, you could feel his piercing eyes on your back, burnin two holes that didn't help you feel at ease at all. He didn't say a single word, just a simple whistle. This whistle that have heard him do with so many of death's victim. You could picture the glint in his eyes that you knew so well, going from annoyed, to neutral, to hot. This was not good for you in any way. As your mind wandered, you were running, running for your home. When you could see the field of colorful flowers appearing behind the hill, you sighed of relief, your small home resting next to the prettiest lake that might exist. You took the stairs that were leading to your nest. And once you were inside, door closed behind your back... You sighed as you let yourself slid down against the wood. You looked at your boots, taking it off rapidly to throw it to the side. Stupid muddy lake.

But as soon as you stood up, you could sense a freshness settling inside your home. A shiver ran down your spine, feeling your heart rate increase whenever you knew he was inside your home. Inside your safe walls.

"Made a friend back there Chiqui ?" and there he was, his low and raspy voice coming out of the only dark corner of the room. Could he possibly travel thanks to the shadows. You could ask him that someday. But that someday was surely not today, with how the situation was turning. Embarassment settled in your chest, why were you blaming yourself when you did nothing wrong. He just helped you.

"He just helped me... I would hardly call that befriending someone." This must have been a wrong answer considering the low growl that came out of his muzzle. To his own eyes, Death was rarely wrong, moreover was never wrong when he was angry. Which he painfully looked right now?

"Are you implying that I imagined what I saw? That kid on his knees in front of you? With his hand around your arm?" As these words came out of his snout, the wolf’s paws left the shadow in which they comforted. He approached. Dangerously. His lips retracting and that growl coming from the bottom of his throat was a clear indication of his annoyance. "His eyes scanned through you when you were facing backwards, looking for me. I shouldn’t have whistled. I should have come out of the shadows and taken the head of this cheap prince."

Fuck. You made the wrong decision, didn’t you? This is exactly what to do if you want to get murdered. Don’t scream. Don’t get angry. Let him ramble. You looked down, you knew better than look at him right in the eyes when he was angry. It scared you.. Not a lot but a little, probably a natural instinct to fear what was created to end one's life.

Fuck. Miercoles...

But Death wouldn't take you right ? Not because of some misunderstanding. He cared about you. But that behavior awfully looked like a...

Territorial behavior.

It’s just two words, but the implications behind it make your lungs constrict and your heart race. Other adjectives spring up around it, bringing a wave of excitement with them.

Territorial. Possessive. Jealous. You were probably just thinking it right now. Sure Death has been following you around like a shadow those past few weeks. You were awfully suspiscious about that behavior. You even joked about it, but now.. Now he seemed more agressive than usual. And you would be damned but it did aroused you. Well.. Still does.

"Chiqui ?"

He called out, and as you rose your eyes from the floor, the wolf was now in front of you. Did he call for you prior to that ? Wait, he was really close. His eyes were looking right throught you, those white pupils locking into yours. There he was, doing it again.. Reading right through you. And right now ? You were pathetic. Patetically blushing head over heels as you realised your arousal over the wolf in front of you and his display of possessivity.

His muzzle opened, but no voice came out of it. You raise your eyes to look at the wolf ashamed of the feelings curling up inside you right in the moment. And you could have sworn, you saw his eyes darken for a moment. And before you could say anything to defend or ask what was he on about.

"Me vas a volver loco." he breathed in a strained voice as if he was holding himself back. Holding himself from launching onto you.

You will drive me mad, that's what he said. And you murmured back, in that splendid language that was spanish, that he already did that to you. Hearing you speak in your native language always made him stop for a moment. His chest halting as if Death was catching its breath.

“How much do you like this shirt?” he asks, voice lower and more gruff than he probably intended.

“Not much.”

And just like that it shreds with a quick jerk of his claws, and the pieces land somewhere near the corner of the room as he tosses them aside with a careless flick. Some yelp left your mouth, and yet as you should feel afraid.. Embarassed to be half bare in front of him, you didn't try to hide away. You swore that as he looked at you, you saw his throat boped.

You shake your head and laugh softly, trying to ease the tension that was building inside of you as you got shyer and shyer because of his gaze on your body “I feel like some kind of sacrifice in front you like this.”

His blood races, and his muzzle that was above you a few moments ago fell into your neck as his tongue licked that sweet skin of yours. You gasped, but dont try to lean away from the wanted touch. Feeling the teeth brushing on each other side of your throat, when his hands were now roaming over your body hurrying themselves to get you off those layers.

“A worthy offering,” he says, unwrapping that tissu belt and your pants as if you were his most precious treasure. “Any entity would be pleased with such a gift.”

You come to him willingly, eagerly, running your hands over the back of the wolf, nuzzling your fingers inside the white furr. Pressed against his body, the warmth of your body warming up his cold one, as his mouth left your throat to nibble on your ear.

“What about...Hm. A terrible, fearsome monster? Would I make a worthy sacrifice for him, too?”

“That depends on whether you were a willing tribute.” he answered as he stopped himself from nibbling the rest of your body.

“And if I was?”

“If you were, Chiqui…” he says, as his hands slides now on your bear cheeks to carry you towards what was your bed. “Then I would have no choice but to worship you.”

The words are low and rumbling, spoken into the soft skin of your inner thigh as he inches closer and closer to your inner thighs. You gasps again and shifts for him, opens for him, trembling with anticipation. Never you would have thought to see The so feared wolf between your thighs, ready to devour you. And with the first swipe of his tongue over your warm, swollen flesh, you cry out and arches against his hold.

The sight of you struggling to keep your voice to yourself, and those thighs closed is more erotic than anything he ever could have imagined. Wrapped around you soft, plush body, squeezing you tight, keeping you still when you buck and writh with pleasure, it draws on that same dark instinct howling up from the bottom of his soul.

A word keeps repeating in his head, like a mantra as his muzzle devour you, making a wet mess of yourself.

Claim you.

But he was settling for devouring you instead, savoring the offering you bring to him so sweetly.

The taste of you only stokes those instincts higher, stronger, closer to the brink of blissful oblivion. Something he never dared to imagine as he was...Death himself. And you were nothing but a beautiful alive being. Your thighs bracket the sides of his head, pushing against his soft furr and he grunts in approval, tightening his grip on you and sinking his fingertips into the curve of your ass.

You were both lost in the moment, him not caring for the claws of his back paws clawing at the floor and leaving marks in the wood. And you not caring enough to keep your voice down as you were riding, the soft sensation of his tongue and teeth literally eating you out.

Knock knock.

That caught you off-guard. You both stopped, looking at each others. The ears of the white wolf perking at the top of his head. Before you could see a frown appear on his face, a growl pushing its way behind his teeth. Unhappy. Who was-

"Darling are you okay ?"

Wait.. That voice. You were pretty sure you recognize it. It was the prince from earlier. Did he follow you here ? Did hear you ? Wait. Darling ? That nickname was revolting. The face of the wolf raising from between your thighs, as his tongue passes upon his upper lip, a growl settling in the back of his throat. Not a desiring growl, but a threatening one. That was not good, your legs grabbed him in place, crossing behind his neck. Blocking him.

"Chi-"

"I'm quite busy at the moment ! Could you please go away." you ask in a strangled voice as you were slowly coming down from your high state. You didn't really catch what he answered you cause the next moment Death's tongue was back on you. It doesn’t take long until your body is taut and straining again, cries wishing to grow louder and more insistent. Mostly when the wolf between your thighs pushes against that sweet sweet spot. And yet you could hear that SO annoying voice coming from behind the door.

"Desaparece cabron !" You yelled, ash he stroked and eased you through every spasm of your climax, keeping you firmly held on the bed as you were doing for him, coming apart against his tongue.

Stars. You were seeing stars, literally. A laugh rumbling between your thighs, as you looked down at Death sliding his thumb to collect the rest of you on his lip. When you were finally settling down, your thighs were freeing the man you had in a choke hold.

"If I only knew you could curse like that."

"Is he gone..?" You breath out.

"Por favor, don't mention him ever again. He is far. Now it's my time. And I need to know, one important thing."

You looked at him frowning, wondering what could he possibly ask in that moment. You pray, please no more question about if they were friends or not..

“How much of me do you want, Chiqui?”

How much ? You asked yourself that question a while back. You were looking at Death's back as he was walking in front of you in some dark forest, two months ago. The spores of some mushrooms in the environment making your imagination run wild. You wondered if he knew already back then.. You pictured him above you, licking his teeth like he often does when he is about to eat up a meal you prepared. Hungry or impatient... You couldn't say. And you would look down at his inner thigh, cheeks growing hot. Would you like that ?

The answer doesn't come right away, Death wondering if you were unsure. But his eyes wandered, looking at your still moving hips, chasing the pleasure he was more than willing to give you. When he pressed his teeth into you skin in a small reminder, though, you gaze up so lustfully up at him.

And fuck, were you beautiful, once again you could see his chest raise. Your eyes glazed with pleasure, lips parted on a gasp, cheeks flushed.

“All of you,” you whisper. “I want all of you, Death.”

His answering groan echoes in the room. Leaving you breathless, you could almost taste the anticipation and the craving in the air.

“Are you sure?”

Soflty, your hands run through the puff of his cheeks. Your fingers ruffling the white hair. And your look gave the answer, you were looking at him like he ever wanted you to look at him since he first laid his preying eyes on you.

Maybe it’s what he always needed. Someone to be patient with him. Someone to be dedicated to him.

He has now a hand on each of your thighs, holding you open, as he raised from the floor, towering you down, one knee resting now on the bed.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” You breathe. “Yes, I trust you.”

One hand leaves your thigh, catching your chin between his fingers, tipping your head forward. “Look down, Y/N. See what you do to me.”

Between your legs, you could see his cock, hard and pulsing against your damp thigh (wait when did he get rid of his pants), you could feel the red rushing to your cheeks. That was...big. And it didn't look like any human male sex you had ever seen.

Not like you intentionally seen lots of them.

A laugh echoes in the room, while the wolf deciphers the expression you display. His face regaining its previous poise, his mouth opening and laying his fangs around your throat. Slowly, the fingers that had explored your entrance find their place again to continue this work of relaxation. He and you both knew that if you weren’t relaxed enough, this whole thing could be a lot more painful than either of you wanted. You push your head back, resting on the matress within a soft moan.

“That’s it,” The wolf grates out when you bear down and shift open to take him deeper. “Just like that, Chiqui.”

You could feel his voice rumble against your throat as he slides his tongue against you skin once again. Pressing his jaw around you, catching your breath. Enough pressure to cut your breath when you took too deep breaths. As warmth floods through you with his graveled praise. Warmth and trust and painfully sweet tenderness that only ratchets up every other sensation.

The feeling of Death’s fingers breaching you, filling you, diving deep and branding you from the inside out, is like absolutely nothing You’ve ever felt before. Pulsing and alive?, twisting and shifting and fitting itself to the shape of you. And you could feel him grind against your thigh, trying to releave some of that build up tension in between his legs.

“So mesmerizing. Do you think you can take some more?”

He asked as he pulled his teeth away, locking his gaze into yours. You nod, but he brings his free hand up to cup your chin, tilting your head up toward him.

“Let me hear your words.”

“Yes! I want more. Por favor.”

“Ask, and it’s yours,” he rasps, and pushes in another finger that makes you gasp.

Your thighs shake from the impossible, building waves of pleasure and the Wolf tightens his hold on you, spreading you even wider as his three rather larger fingers dives deep and retreats.

His knotted cock bumps up against your inner thigh, and a small pulse of uncertainty moves through you. You had no idea how you were going to take all that. Long, thick, and already weeping from the tip, your core tightens just looking at it.

Death seems to read your hesitation as if you were an open book in front of him, because he leans in to whisper low and dark into your ear.

“I’ll make sure you’re ready for me, Chiqui.”

Inside of you, the fingers he’s impaled you on shifts and twists, growing thicker somehow as he spreads them. The stretch of it boarders on too much, making you squirm and moan and press back against him, but you are not about to ask him to stop. When you tangle your hands into his furr and pull his head forward to claim his mouth, he growls and presses even deeper, fitting himself against the spot he drove you wild with just a few minutes ago.

There, right there, hitting that sensitive spot inside and ripping another scream from you as you climax crests and breaks. He works you through every spasm, drawing the pleasure out until you are half-certain you are going to pass out from it.

"Death-"

Your words cut off at his sharp growl and his tongue crashes past your lips. He’s ravenous as he strokes his tongue deep, hand on your throat, keeping you pinned in place. And when he notches his cock against your entrance, the clawing need to have him inside steals your breath.

Death breaks the kiss and looks down. Expression hungry, an animalistic growl, he watches himself nudge against you once, twice, before sliding the blunted tip inside.

Just that—just the smallest part of him—is already enough to make you feel stretched and full. His shuddering breath breaks against your shoulder as he drives his hips forward another inch, then another, until you are meeting him thrust for gentle thrust, groaning at the impossible feel of him sliding deeper.

“Dios,” he says. “Déjame tomarme mi tiempo contigo. Me estás absorbiendo.”

You hear him, but with each inch gained you are getting more impatient. Letting out a small moan of protest, you shift your hips, straining to take more of him, and his answering growl rumbles all the way through you.

“Greedy. So greedy, my Y/N. Shall I be merciful and give you what you want?”

“Please,” You gasp. "Por favor, deja-"

You don’t get to finish begging.

With a powerful upward thrust, he fills you up entirely and wrenches a ragged scream from the back of your throat. He’s there, bottomed out, sunk to the hilt in you. You are stretched so full that for a few long moments all you can do is drop your head back against the bed and close your eyes, trying to adjust to the feel of him.

“Bellissima,” he murmurs, rolling his hips in a way that makes another moan rasp from your throat. “Look at you taking me so well, my mate.”

Mate. You knew that was a language used between wolves. Inside a pack... A mate is a partner. A partner for life. You knew thanks to that , that Death is mindless at this point, too far gone into the magic being woven between the two of you to think about what he’s saying.

When you look down and see yourself stretched around him, feel the insistent pulse of him inside of you and the light press of his teeth against your neck, searching a way for the back of it, there’s no part of you that shies away from that word.

My mate.

It’s not enough, not nearly enough. Reaching up to wrap an arm around his neck for leverage, you grind into his thrusts and move restlessly against him, begging for more. More pleasure. More touch. More of the wild, incredible feel of him.

You must moan at least some of it out loud, because he growls low in his throat. “You need more from me, Chiqui?”

“Yes! Please.”

When he pulls out of you, you cry out sharply in protest. It’s only a couple of seconds, though, before he’s got you turned around and pushed up against the cotton of the sheets,his teeth finds the back of your neck, sending a shiver down your body, his hand pressing you into the bed, as he slams back into you.

It’s more intense than before, heavier, deeper. You don't know if that was the bite at the back of your neck that was driving you to madness, or the feeling of his knot pushing inside you. Stretching you to the maximum, making you scream his name. It was burning you up from the inside out until it breaks with a ferocity that blanks your vision out for a few long, ecstatic moments.

He comes just after you do, driving deep and exploding in you, locked by his knot, with a wash of heat that makes your belly flutter and your body go lax under his.

You obviously had a hard time coming down from that feeling you just had. But so did he. The erastic breathing that you could feel against your neck as the fangs did not let go, brought you little by little back to the world of the living. Soon you could hear the movement whipping the air from the wolf’s tail. Then the bed began to crack. Death let go of your neck, the moment the creak reach his ears, he was leaning to hard on the bed, and was about to break it.

Slowly, you could feel his weight lifting up from you, and his tongue running on the mark and the droplets of blood he left behind. A soft sigh left your lips as you could feel the knot of the male above you softening and he could finally pull out.

And as slowly, he reaches down to take your numb body against him, his nose nuzzling against your jaw just under your ear his a soft hum.

"You smell like me."

A small laugh escpaed your lips. You surely didn't expect that to come out first. You were relaxed in his arms, completely sated, andhe couldn't help but internally purr in pleasure to see you so undone. And a smile even peeked out at the sound of your laugh.

His mate. Satisfied. Happy. Utterly fucked-out and his.

"You reeked of the kid earlier. I thought I was going to lose my mind." he growled against your ear, flattening his ears back at the thought surely bothering him again.

"Feels like you did."

Despite your laugh, the wolf growls at the mockery. "It is not a mistake, Chiqui. You are mine. And now... Everybody will know that Death itself maked you."

Oh... And here you go blushing again, and it was his turn to laugh.

[omoghouls]

Dunno if anyone has asked this, but what’s your favourite omo situation to be put in?

Oh gosh like what I personally would like to be placed in /////?

Bc/ one that I really love would there being this older lady and we're either going out on a date or something of that nature and she sweetly hands me a mug of peppermint tea to drink before we head out bc/ "she knows I tend to get car sick and wants me to be hydrated to help prevent it" and i'm nonethewiser to her true intentions-

So we're driving around, and she slides a bottle of water onto my lap- again under the "intentions" of wanting to make sure I'm not underhydrating myself- and again, i'm aloof, she's much older than me so obviously she knows more than I do!

I don't even notice she's turned the radio down to a low background hum as she's more keen and instrested in hearing the little noises i've started to make as I shift around in my seat, occasionally tugging at my seatbelt to move it away from my filling bladder momentarily- My face burns a deep red when I finally notice

She chuckles, her hand not occupied with the steering wheel now lays on my knee, gently rubbing it as she says that it won't be tooo long before we get to our destination

Ofc, that is a lie. She takes alll the "scenic routes" and roads where the potholes have not yet been filled in- any routes that have me white knuckling the edge of my seat, clenching and tensing all my muscles withh each thump as the wheels lower into the potholes. She fanes a sympathetic look and coo as she apologizes. She forgets just forgets how small my bladder is- she rummages around while we're at a red light, holding out the half empty bottle of water she had previously given me

She coaxes me to finish what is left in the bottle, tilting my chin up as the last drops of water go smoothly down my throat.

But she knows that evenn if I manage to shuck my pants down far enough, i can't aim worth shit even in the best of times. But, I'm so despreate i'll do anything to get relief- shakey hands hold the bottle in where i think I need to- but it isn't the right spot and piss just starts spurting out around the opening of the bottle- I gasp, soft whines and pleads with my own body to stop as urine hisses out, splattering onto the plastic floor mat under me

It feels like an eternity before my bladder is empty, achingly so. I shudder, relief washing over my shakey body- half-lidded gazing down at the bottle that barely contains a drop of urine- my head hits the back of the car seat as i'm brought back to reality- already trying to think how much it will cost to get this cleaned.

I don't even realize the car had been in parked in some parking lot/side of road for quite sometime until I hear my side of the car door clicking open. She guides me to slide my legs to the side- I shiver as the cool evenings air brushes against my legs as urine dribbles down from gravity

I dont expect the kiss but it's warm and filled with passion as her hands roll over my back- praise being whispered in my ear for being such a good boy for her, such a messy boy but, that's why she's got plastic mats

and adfsjhgrehgs ye,,,

[bunniis-w0rld]

stop trying to lose weight to appeal to men

so many of you need to hear this, especially some of the younger girls on here

there are a lot of posts all over here talking about how 'when i lose weight ill finally talk to my crush' or 'when i lose weight he'll actually be attracted to me' or 'he'll regret hurting me' nooope. we're not doing that ladies

i am well aware this is a mental illness and it can contribute to those irrational worries and thoughts, but they are not true

and i know it sounds so cliche and you probably dont believe it but the right person for you is one who loves you regardless of your physical appearance. one who is all over you wether youve just woken up with smudgy mascara and messy hair or youve gotten all dressed up and spent hours on your makeup. one who loves you if you gain weight and look different, or lose weight and shrink down

a relationship based only off physical appearances, is a superficial one. there may be physical attraction on the surface and thats great, but you also want someone who loves you as a person. for your passions and quirks and the things that make you, you. a relationship based only on your body will only end in hurt, which dont get me wrong makes for interesting character development, but its not worth your time and pain. it isnt. you deserve so much better than that. people also change, and its unstable, knowing that as you grow as a person you will become different, you may gain weight or your body will change or your face may change, and a superficial relationship that is reliant on physical attraction alone will not last those changes

so if you want to talk to your crush, dont wait to lose all the weight and sit around wondering if he only likes you for your body, do it now. build a connection and you may find your person

if you want them to realise how much they hurt you, forget about them. that is what will show them. focus on yourself, and if that involves losing weight go for it, but sitting around hoping theyll notice still gives them the upper hand

and if a guy (or anyone) has ever, ever made you feel bad about your body that just shows his true colours. it reflects nothing on you as a person, all it does is show you that thats not the kind of person you want to spend your time around. he's not worth the energy

bottom line is, if you want to lose weight, do it. if itll make you more confident in finding a partner or more comfortable in your current situation, do it. if it makes you feel better for whatever reason, its not my business. but it is my damn business when i see all you smart beautiful people harming yourselves and putting yourselves down and feeling bad because of a man. no person is ever worth doing this to yourself for. you are worth so much more than that

[artemis-fowled]

no bc listen its like. cowboy like me is such a blunder song and i’ll never be over it its like??

now im waiting by the phone like im sitting in an airport bar (every moment gob is waiting by the phone? that scene with kitty??) You had some tricks up your sleeve takes one to know one you're a cowboy like me (i dont think explanation is needed honestly) Perched in the dark telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear like it could be love I could be the way forward only if they pay for it (gob finding his worth in doing whatever it takes to make his dad proud- smth that will never happen, but going to extremes where he “sacrifices his body” for the family; kitty and lucille 2) you're a bandit like me eyes full of stars hustling for the good life never thought I'd meet you here it could be love we could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it (because?? they are same and not same and they just, get each other- and they have this electric connection and gob does pay for it, he is humiliated at the parade and he is grieving bc he thinks tony is dead dead dead and confused bc of course there was a trap door but then whats happening rn and then he gets the body and he reaches out to tony! he gets the gay mafia off tony’s contract! and tony reciprocates so hard!)

the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up (bc like, theyre literally plotting and falling at the same time, gob is going to make tony fall in love with him and then break his heart/sabotage his career? tony is trying to get fakeblock money? and then theyre same and theyre not taking the chances given to allow them to complete their schemes, and then there’s cinco and ann and “gob’s straight?”and forget-me-nows and the gay mafia-)and the old men that i swindled really did believe i was the one and the ladies lunching have their stories about when he passed through town but that was all before i locked. it. down. (just thinking about gob flitting through relationships, about his sex work, about how we do see people-his girlfriends- do fall in love with him, and maybe it doesnt last but it does happen, and then theres tony and hes rebranded as the gay magician but he’s got that secret thing with sally and-) now he hangs from my lips like the gardens of babylon with his boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con (because! theyre together again! gob saved his career instead of sabotaging it! theyre going to do handstuff, theyre same and not same in all the right ways and come on, tony is so obviously enamored in the wall scene, iirc tony is the one to suggest hand stuff-)

love story of all time

[suulponk]

could I request just a really fluffy fic with Frank and male reader? I don't see enough male readers or non smut frank things anymore :] maybe like having to defend him dating a guy to the press and protecting and comforting y/n from the bullshit they say?

warnings: homophobia

word count: 728

- i dont know how the fuckin press works so do spare me

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

"No?"

"No!"

"Really? I think I'm stylin'." Frank tilted his head to the side, holding his hands under his chin and flashing a pretty smile.

Y/N shook his head, grabbing the poorly designed sunglasses and handing him a pair of flamboyant jeweled ones instead. "I think these look faarr better."

Frank put them on, turning around to look at the mirror and bursting into laughter. "Oh, gosh. I'm just beautiful!" Y/N laughed, wrapping his arms around Frank's waist. "You so are. You should be a model next."

"A gucci model?" Frank looked at the price tag of the glasses. "Jesus fuck. These aren't even gucci, and they're almost my own net worth." Y/N took a peek at the tag, rolling his eyes.

"More like mine. You're super rich, you seem to forget that." Frank shrugged, putting the sunglasses back on the rack.

Frank and Y/N left the store without buying anything. They held hands as they walked down the street, getting stopped by someone tapping Frank on the shoulder.

Frank turned around, facing a middle aged woman with a microphone in his face. He held back an eye roll, and smiled instead. "Hi. Surprise interview?" The lady nodded, pushing the microphone closer.

"Is this your boyfriend?" Y/N glanced at Frank, and Frank glanced back. He nodded. "That's what I thought. How do you feel about publicly being in a relationship with another man?"

Frank looked at the camera, and back at the woman. He shifted a little. "I feel like I'm in a normal relationship that people know about." "But don't you think it's wrong?" Frank raised his eyebrows, mouth slightly agape.

"What did you say to me?"

The woman stepped back a little. "I'm just saying. Usually it's a man and a woman. For, uh, most people." She paused, and unfortunately kept speaking. "Especially when it comes to celebrities, they tend to keep that stuff to themselves."

"Well I don't." He tugged on Y/N's hand, stepping back a little. "Go shove it, lady."

He turned around, walking away. He threw up a middle finger when the lady shouted after them, causing her to call him an unsavory word.

Y/N stared at the ground, free hand in his pocket. "I can't believe some people are just so openly assholes." Y/N murmured, making Frank nod in agreement. "I should have punched her ass." Y/N giggled. "I thought you would've."

They got to Frank's car, letting go of each other and getting in. Frank decided to drive home, which Y/N was okay with.

Music blasted through the speaker and Y/N stared out the window quietly. He tried to not let it get to him, he really did. But he couldn't help but think it'd be easier if he just went off and let Frank date some girl. It'd be easier if Y/N dated one too.

Frank set his hand on Y/N's thigh, shooting him a glance. "You good?" Y/N hummed a little. He wasn't, really.

"It'll get better one day. People will understand. At some point."

"Some point in our lifetime?"

Frank bit his lip. "No, probably not." He didn't like to lie, and Y/N was glad about that. "But those are random ass people. They don't care about us, really." Frank pulled into a Wendy's drive through, deciding some ice cream would cheer them both up.

"Those people don't mean shit at all. They don't understand and don't try to. You know who does understand? You know who does matter?" He turned the speakers down. "Our best friends. People like Gee, and Ray, and Mikey." Y/N smiled a little. "That random lady? Guys who think their cocks are so fuckin huge? They can go-"

Frank pulled up to the speaker. "Hi, two medium chocolate frosties please. Thank you." He drove forward.

"-They can go fuck themselves. Drop their pizza on the sidewalk, whatever." Frank smiled. "They're not gonna be at our wedding to object, are they?"

Y/N laughed a little, looking at the checkered promise ring on his finger. "Yeah."

Frank pulled up to the window, grabbing the frosties and setting them in the cupholder. "And I bet that lady doesn't have any ice cream right now either. So whose really losing?"

"People without ice cream always lose." Frank nodded. "Damn right!"

[lewisrises]

TFIBBH???? I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT NAME IN FOREVER. i wish i could say yes but i was like a little baby then and i saw all the mildly out there stuff the author (they used to call authors "author-nim in comments... do you remember? christ almighty im old) put baek through and i was like... i cant do this. i did have two friends back in the day that kept up with it religiously and would have debates. i remember back in the day i used to take psychic damage at the sight of binary or "im the writer who lives next door, don't forget hyung!" did you ever read baby's breath or arbitrage? arbitrage was a racing fic if i remember correctly..... it all comes back to f1 in the end

but like song wise, what's your favorite? personally i think anything from the war and dmumt was really good. but if i really had to pick a song that ill never get tired of hearing.... the xoxo album and miracles in december. or what is love, their predebut. sometime i go back and listen to their songs and i look at kpop today..... look at how they massacred my boy. i dont really keep up with kpop these days either but why can no one sing these days!!!! im not paying to see you body roll!!! sing!!! anyway, <3333!!!

(fuck just realized that dmumt had a racing aesthetic too. even when i wasn't into f1, it i was still haunting me. im never leaving this stupid ass sport am i? 😭😭😭)

i would say you Have to read it now but it’s so long idk if it’s worth it 😭 i remember reading baby’s breath but don’t remember what exactly it was about. and it does always come back to f1 but that’s bc exo = lewis ! i’ve said it before i’ll say it again

favourite song will forever be my turn to cry… also love the overdose album she was a small one but a banger ! heart attack, my lady, gravity, ooh la la la & been through are honourable mentions too. their discography is like nothing else it’s hard to even like kpop nowadays when it’s just not giving… same with f1 post-lewis domination i fear

[lukaawrites]

Angel on a Bridge

Hey,

Just a little tw before you read: This story contains suicide attempts!!

Please stop reading if it triggers you .

__________________________________

My mother thinks I just went for a walk. If only she knew...If only she knew her only daughter is standing on the edge of a bridge trying to end her failure of a life. The sky looks beautiful tonight...

,,Good evening."

I gasp in shock. I didnt expect someone here.

,,The sky's so beautiful tonight, isnt it?"

I turn my head and see an old woman leaning next to me on the rail. She doesnt realize what I am about to do, does she?

,,Y-yeah sure..." I say carefully. I dont want her to find out why I am standing up here.

,,Enjoying your view up there, my dear? It must be breathtaking. I would join you if I wasnt so old and fragile already."

Her little laughter breaks my heart. She really doesnt understand it. If only she knew I didnt come here to just admire the sunset. I take a deep breath and sit down on the rail.

,,Dont, darling."

,,W-what?"

,,Dont jump."

My heart skips a beat.

,,I- I didnt-"

She smiles softly but still serious.

,,Please, my child, dont try to trick me. Im an old lady who has seen more than you can imagine. I know what you were actually here for."

I start to tear up.

,,May I?"

I look at her as she askes for my permission to put her hand on my back. I nod.

For a moment I just sit there as she softly strokes my back.

,,Its not worth it, darling."

,,No, no.."

I whisper as the painful tone of my voice gets more and more lost in the deep river of my tears.

For a little while we dont speak. I even close my eyes secretly hoping the lady will leave if I stay like this a little longer.

,,You dont really want to do this."

These words do something to me I wish they didnt.

,,H-How would you know? You dont know me!"

I start to panic. But why??

,,Yes, youre right. I do not know you. I dont know what brought you here tonight, why you are giving up on yourself, I dont even know your name."

Her voice is as soft and natural as if this was a common conversation and that scares me.

,,But let me tell you, my dear child, that I know you dont want to do this."

I start shaking my head pretty heavily.

,,No, I-"

,,In the moment it feels like the solution but its not. It clearly isnt the solution to anything. You are only making things worse. Maybe not for you but for anyone else and isnt this the greatest pain? To know youre leaving all your loved ones forever hurt behind?"

She looks at me intensely.

,,This is not the end. This shouldnt be the end. This wont be the end, love. There is so much more to life you havent found yet. But you will. And it will be better than your tiny mind can imagine right now."

I bury my head into my hands and I start to sob. How does she know it will become better?

,,Youre not alone. You know why?"

She takes in a deep breath and I sense something inside her has to bring up all the courage to go on.

,,I've been there aswell. Right here. Right at this bridge. I've stood right here on the edge. I was 18 years old by the time. I felt like I had nothing left anymore because my best friend had died six months before, my parents hated each other and fought all the time completely forgetting about me. I thought this was the only right thing to do."

She inhales and exhales deeply before she goes on.

,,But there was something that told me not to jump. But it was not a foreign old lady."

She chuckles softly.

,,I never told anyone before what- well- who actually saved me but I think you deserve to know.

The moment- right before I was about to jump- I felt a hand on my back. It didnt feel like a human's hand. And it wasnt a humans hand. I thought I was going crazy but I wasnt. I turned around and there she was. The ghost of my late best friend was the one who saved me."

Tears are falling down my cheeks. I cant believe she told me, a completely strange girl, such a personal and dramatic story.

,,She looked deep into my soul and I heard her voice deep in my head saying: 'Dont go, Hallie. Remember? You have to live on for me. You promised.' I remember breaking down sobbing. She made me realise I am not allowed to end it. And so arent you, my lovely child."

,,I'm sorry, ma'am. I am sorry this happened to you too. I am sorry you had to see me tonight. I didnt mean to hurt you."

,,I am glad I saw you. I am glad I changed your mind."

She looks at me like she expects me to say something specific. I take a look inside my head. The voice that led me to this is gone. I still feel helpless and lost but suddenly I dont want to end me anymore.

So I close my eyes and take a few deep breathes.

,,Yes."

I say with a strong voice.

,,Yes, you did change my mind."

She takes my hands into hers.

,,You are stronger than you think. Everything I just told you happened exactly 54 years today. I've came back here on this exact day for the last 53 years because its the place where I was saved by the person I loved the most and it was the place where I was shown that its not over. That its not the end. And look at me.

I am here, I survived."

Author's note: If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts or any kind of mental illness I want you to know you're not alone! Just like the old lady in the story there is always someone who relates to you, who understands you and cares about you. Even if it doesn't seem like it in the very moment there are people who love you and who need you.

I am so proud of you, whoever reads this, I am so damn proud of you for still being here.

Searching for help does not make you weak!

If everything feels hopeless there are numbers to call.

[nereidofthesoul]

November 26th, 2023

What the fuck is happening to me those nights! ! ! Bon, okay c'est un journal about you, but here is your boyfriend ranting... But I'm sure you won't mind baby, right ? Je parle pas beaucoup de mon grief car c'est difficile à expliquer, à exprimer, puis on se sent très seul en le vivant aussi car personne ne peut totalement comprendre what its like, because this person belonged to you and you only. Et ce soir je me disais que as terrible as it was those past few years, autant pour lui que pour moi, des fois ça me manque. Je me sentais helpful, tu vois ? J'étais occupé 24h sur 24, et ça avait beau être un enfer, le retour à la vie réelle still feels real. Je me demande comment je tenais debout back then alors que now, les choses les plus futiles du quotidien me fatiguent très rapidement. So yeah... It's just weird, dealing with death. Sometimes I forget that some of my friends are dead et quand on me le rappel, it feels like someone is piercing a whole in my heart. Puis tu sais ce qui est unfair aussi ? Comment les gens invalident lorsque tu perds un grand-parent, car c'est censé être le courant de la vie, l'ordre des choses as they say. Alors que they were humans au même titre que n'importe quelle autre personne, entity or soul. I mean yeah, sure, id rather see my grand-parents dying dying rather than my parents or younger family members but like wtf is this thought right ? It aint fair, he was like my dad, he was truly. And what I lived and what he went through was so hard, so traumatizing. Je me demande how im still standing, it was worth than anything ive lived through before ; and not the death, but everything preceding it. Et as weird as it sounds, sometimes I do miss it, like I said. Cette proximité avec les personnes qui me savaient aidant, the way I was battling everyday to make people understand about the illness, battling for the professionals to take me seriously, in making it better ; in spending and scarifying years of my life into taking care of him while it was no place for a 20 something years old. Cela me manque aussi de connect with old people, baby dont laugh, I swear... Je me souviens que je visitais une old lady qui vivait la même chose avec son mari et on se comprenait tellement, c'était les seules personnes qui me comprenait, au final, car they were living the same thing. C'est terrible car j'aimerai te faire voir dans mon esprit, te faire ressentir ce que j'ai vécu, pour que tu en saisisses toute l'ampleur. But that would be too painful et j'aimerai que tu ne puisses jamais get a glimpse of any of it, I don't wish that on anyone et let alone on you. Not on my baby. But I think I need yo how you because it's now a part of me ; more than this, It shaped me into the person that I am today et je pense c'est pour cela aussi que je me retrouve dans mon field. Certes c'est différent, tu me diras, but I just need to feel useful, to make an impact on someone's life, to help them in some ways. This is tough out there, isn't it., baby?

[fluentinfashionfmd]

Welcome fellow fashion lovers!

Keep up with the looks of all your favorite stars…

In Fluent in Fashion, we dive into all of the latest and hottest looks of today’s celebrities, athletes, and influencers, as if you are on the red carpet with them. Each week you will see a new look, along with a breakdown of  each piece and the designer behind it all! At the end of each post, we decide whether the look is Fab or Flop! We hope you enjoy it and find some inspiration. 

XOXO,

Lauren, Avery, and Isabella ♡

Happy Monday fellow fashion lovers!!

Did you miss us? Cause we missed you

This week during Hispanic Heritage month, you know I had to cover the queen of all Latinas, the queen of Tejano music … Selena Quintanilla 

As Selena is an icon for all the Latinas, she is primarily known for her singing abilities, but what some don't know about her is she was also often her own designer for her outfits. 

She had inspiration from Madonna, Cher, Cindi Lauper, and all the ladies of the 80s. 

Featured in Selena the movie, one of her first designs was a bedazzled bustier that her mom helped her make. Her dad being an overprotective Mexican dad wasn't pleased with this bustier she wore on stage, but Selena had to go against his wishes to be a fashion icon. So glad she chose herself and had the confidence to wear these because wow she kills these looks! Here are a few of my favorite bedazzled bustier looks that she wore 

Something I especially love about her is her unique designs. She designed these matching cow print outfits for her band for their 1991 San Antonio concert, and lets just say the guys weren't too happy about being dressed in this. I think they rocked this look and maybe it was too niche for their era, but fashion lovers nowadays definitely appreciate this look more. 

You didn't think I would finish this post without talking about her purple jumpsuit? Don't be silly now. Although Selena had countless amazing looks, this has to be her most iconic. She wore this blinged out glitter jumpsuit with a matching bolero for her Astrodome concert in 1995. This was one of her last concerts, with one of the biggest crowds she performed for. She looked amazing in this jumpsuit! The bell bottoms, the criss cross halter neck top, the silver boots, and the reveal of the top under the bolero … this outfit is worth the hype. 

Her outfit was sooo iconic, we have celebs nowadays recreating this look for halloween. I mean I'm guilty, I have been Selena for halloween. Although Kim, Demi, and America are serving looks with their costumes. 

I hope you enjoyed the Queen of Tejano musics style as much as I love writing about it. Dont forget to check back again next week as we're featuring a possible new member of the Jenner fam?? 

XOXO 

Bella 

[audible--silence]

“I’m a walking talking never shutting the fuck up tequila tour”

-

The mexican taxi driver sings along to marion ryan as we drive to the airport in comfortable silence. Mexico I’ll miss you

-

Whatd mexico teach u

I learned how to make friends, older with less patience

I learned to be uncomfortable again

I learned to learn is important

I learned that the good times need effort and risk

—

The sun hits different in Guatemala

-

A country that makes no sense

That works hard but never works

Rich in culture but poor of pocket

Maddeningly massive and chronically chaotic yet personal and real and increasingly sensible

“You cant fix someone that doesn’t feel love”

An old bar with enough charm to help you forget what goes on outside those walls is all you need to be reminded of the joys of pure judgement

At least they make money

People on the street drunk and high

Passed out

Not ok

Walking with strangers

People pissing on the street

Fireworks sounding horribly like gunshots

Old ladys speaking in Spanish

Cobblestone roads damn near claiming my ankles

My laptop in my bag

My hostel about to close

$140 spent on a girl i never had a shot with

What am I doing

Why am I knowingly wasting my time

“So his injuries totaled 2.2 million and he gets to the end of all his surgeries and looks and tells me, I finally feel like my life is worth something”

overheard conversation of annoying Americans

“Yeah a heart attack aint that bad, it hurts for three minutes then youre done”

same guys, about the same guy

“Did you get a moscow mule or tea?”

The guilt that I feel from traveling

To a place where my very existence here

Indicates my privilege.

I feel a resentment

A judging

An envy

I dont know even think thats the people

I think thats my own guilt.

To see people with nothing

And even those better off

Struggling

Never to be capable of even dreaming of the life i lead

Here an now

In their country

Let alone back in mine.

To know that all around the world, people would consider me the luckiest of the luckiest.

And they’re right

And i know it.

I should act like it.

We all should.

When life gives u lemons, give em to someone else as a blessing - bens wisdom

“I fall in a little bit of love with a lot of people, all of the time” - Not Wife - Shakey Graves

“And the entire continent of South America said “oh fuck”

“Yeahhhhh i think you might be un poco fucked in that case”

Say for example you decide to treat your very treatable cancer with orange juice and yoga, as an adult, you’re within your rigjts to do so

He came, he saw, he said nah

10/10 doctors say you should dance until the room stops spinning

Gatorade and lollipops

Ketamine always makes me sneeze

You cant remember all of it

Which is what makes it so damn appealing

The sound of a rooster in Guatemala, the way a sweet old abuela says your name when she needs help and the way the light graces the mountains and the lake

I wont remember it all,

So I better enjoy it now

Being a woman sucks but at least i dont have to contend with balding

Your dungarees get more action than you do

Do you reckon they race babies or just frogs n shit?

People kept saying that like “wow good on you!” But in reality we’re actually just idiots you know?

“Fucking Jermain!”

“I dont have a bank account. I’m an economist”

“If i drink too much I’ll just fall asleep”

“I wish i did”

“I wish you did too”

You know what

As i sit here reading my old notes

I take it back

I wasn’t bad

I was tired

Sore

And hurt

“You’re a good person”

Says the sweetest, most beautiful person I’ve met in a minute

With a crowd full of people I brought together

In a situation not unusual to me.

I cant be that bad

I just need to remind myself that i am good

And remind myself how to focus on one person.

Instead of every fuckn mf that calls themselves a model

[musicallisto]

: ̗̀➛ 𝒘𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 (prince friedrich x f!reader)

@acupnoodle requested: hii, if requests are open could i get a drabble for prince Friedrich from bridgerton if you write for him? enemies to lovers maybe? they meet at the ball after a long time and lots of jabs at each other just to hide the fact that theyre jealous? and they get tgt at the end?? Totally fine if you dont want to write it but thank!!!

summary: "And so Colin knew what London didn't. England's most coveted Duchess had found and lost her heart between foreign hands, and Prussia's dashing heir carried many an anguish from his first trip overseas."

word count: 4.2k

features: f!reader, colin bridgerton as my thirdwheeling emotional support golden retriever, loosely following show canon (set sometime after season 2, but the fling between daphne and friedrich didn't happen). mentions of praying/religion. jealousy, angst with a happy ending. it's about the Yearning.

author notes: because i cannot imagine friedrich antagonizing anyone (he is just so sweet<3) reader & him are not exactly enemies... but I hope you find the bad blood between them satisfactory!

soundtrack: the ghost of you | 𝄞

𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 of champagne always produced this curious white foam, or was it yet another property of Lady Danbury's extravagant buffet?

Perhaps if you inspected your glass closer... shook it counterclockwise...

"Wouldn't you agree, Lady Y/N?"

Your head shot upward, your gaze leaving your three-quarters empty flute to meet an Earl, whose name had blurred with those of the other guests the second you'd been introduced.

"Ah, no doubt about it, my Lord."

The unnamed Count gave a satisfied nod of the head, and his naively hopeful gaze flickered—like that of the Queen's silly little dogs when they were promised food—, a sign he was thoroughly pleased with your answer.

Very few Lords in London would have felt dispirited at a young Duchess's reply, as disinterested and fabricated as it may be. But very few Lords in London asked questions worth answering earnestly.

The Earl, all thinning quiff and gnarled knucklebones, opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could utter a word a silhouette stood out from the colorful cloud of sequined dancers in the background; its firm hand and clear eyes reached you before the man's could.

"Lady Y/N," Colin Bridgerton greeted as he bowed, then turned to the other man, now disgruntled. "Lord Argyll, Your Grace." Of course, Colin remembered every inexhaustible flatterer in high society—winning people over, with his timely pleasantries and enthralling tales, was second nature to him, as effortless as it was for you to sulk behind flowered pillars; and perhaps such was the reason behind your unlikely friendship. Or perhaps was it because Colin Bridgerton was among the few who did not deem your title too high to befriend.

Or the even fewer who deemed it too low, you thought with acerbic laughter, but swatted the barb away.

"I believe I am next on your dance card, your Grace."

You did not bother to check his claim—it would not be the first time you and Colin had danced, him a far more energetic partner than the doormats of the ton; and it would certainly not be the last a Bridgerton came to your daring rescue.

"Certainly, sir—If you will hold this for an instant, my Lord?" In saying so you handed the disoriented suitor your glass of champagne, and he had no presence of mind to protest. "Thank you kindly..."

"But Lady Y/N—"

"I fear my obligations have caught up to me!" you exclaimed, led away by an emboldened Colin.

He stifled a laugh at that; leaning over to observe him, you saw the quiver of his lips, and almost lost your composure yourself. How easy it was to laugh with the Bridgertons, if only for an instant! If only to forget the catastrophe your heart still bore, heavy as lead and profound as a ravine...

"I see you continue to find yourself in the clutches of every demon this side of the Thames, Your Grace."

"Oh, tell me about it. You would think they were insects driven to madness by the faintest light."

"Light, you say? I had thought of fire, rather."

"If only! Then they would burn and never return..."

But the promise of a sizable dowry and prestige of marrying up loomed over you like an omen of terror, leaving you to fend off every increasingly pathetic suitor alone. Well, mostly alone—Colin faced you, cheerful and relaxed, and you both fell into the brisk steps of a quadrille as the violins picked up.

"But will you not give any of them the time of day?"

"Mister Bridgerton—"

"I merely seek to understand your position!" He dropped his voice to a whisper, twirling around you with astounding agility, fabric brushing against fabric. "There is the matter of two years ago, I know..."

"Must you really bring this up?"

"You say you will not marry into my family, you hardly have other friends among the ton—"

"Diplomatic as ever, sir."

"Yet you will not entertain any of the men vying for your affections. You wish to marry, only..." he vaguely embraced all the room and its bustling partygoers, graceful enough in his dancing to camouflage it as part of a twist. "Someone else. Is that correct?"

"It is a bit more complicated, but..."

A spin on your heels brought you facing the main doors, and the gathering of sweeping hairdos before them. A gentleman moved, a lady shifted; and in the crook between an ear and a shoulder, you saw them. The glimmers of navy blue and silver. They shone in the dim light for a split second—gone the next, as you danced forth and turned your back on them; but the mere mirage of them knocked the wind out of your chest.

Colin might then have asked if you were quite alright, but your ears only registered a shrill whirring, as if the violins had gotten jammed on a shriek. You craned your neck until it hurt, almost tripped on your feet trying to catch a glimpse. But it was him. Clear as day, poised and bright as the spring sky in regal blue, his every smile an accidental love song to the squealing debutantes before him. Him, him, him...!

Every single day for the past two years, you had begged heaven to let you forget his face, and yet suddenly he was all you could see, all you could breathe. A paralyzing cloud creeping down your lungs.

"Were you not forewarned? His Majesty is to spend the next four weeks among us..." murmured Colin.

His coddling tone betrayed immense empathy, and an evident realization you had not, indeed, been warned. Yet you remained oblivious to his sorry compassion, clumsily dodging his shoulder at the very last second. Your eyes stared unseeing at Prince Friedrich and his cohort, motionless but nervous underneath the glass chandeliers. And he, charming and ingenuous as ever... as if he'd never known the ballroom. As if he hadn't torn your heart out right there, under the furtive shadow of the alcoves.

"Whatever for?" was all you could mutter. "I thought he only dealt with royal company."

"Your guess is as good as mine," Colin's voice hummed from afar, the bitter edge of your words not lost on him.

The Bridgertons' third son was perhaps the last person you'd ever imagined sharing your heartaches with—word was on the street he had broken his fair share of hearts himself, not by malice or depravity but simply his outstanding blindness to anything remotely sensitive. Yet fate had bound your amorous disillusionments, two years prior: him, humiliated before the ton for daring to believe in disinterested love; and you, foolish and prideful enough to love a Prince and suffer the burn.

And so Colin knew what London didn't. England's most coveted Duchess had found and lost her heart between foreign hands, and Prussia's dashing heir carried many an anguish from his first trip overseas.

"Heavens above, Colin, he's coming this way," you gasped and grabbed onto your friend's shoulder for support. He recoiled at the unexpected touch, leading you off the floor, by the idle musicians, but didn't mention the aghast pallor of your eyes. "Please hide me. He must not see me..."

"Shall I fetch you some water? You look like you're about to pass out."

"No! Don't you dare leave me alone, Bridg..."

All your valiant efforts to disappear between Colin and the large cellos collapsed in one instant. Your stomach dropped; a shiver washed over your whole spine.

"Mister Bridgerton!" And your entire body trembled at the accent, so familiar yet half forgotten already, that would murmur the world's most harrowing poetry in secret coves. "Congratulations on your brother's nuptials, I must—"

He stopped. His breath hitched, and though he hid it well, you knew your souls were woven from the same thread and would have known his every heartbeat in the rumbling vastness of the ocean.

Nothing in this world, however, no desperate prayers to the skies and no sorrowful expiation on canvases and blank notebooks, could have prepared you for the moment your eyes collided.

"Lady Y/N Y/L/N," he breathed, eyes wide and disbelieving, carrying the stigmata of a painfully closed wound. "I thought you..."

I thought you would be in your country abode, wed to another, nursing children of your own. I thought you would be on your throne, leading empires to their doom. I thought you would be draped in fine silk and dripping in gold, on some powerful heir's arm. I thought you would speak another's name with that insurgent devotion, the one that brought me to ruin. I thought I would never see you again...

Somehow you remembered how propriety expected you to behave, and the hand you extended for him to kiss barely trembled.

"Your Highness," you whispered curtly, caring little how wrong and distraught the formality sounded. Colin tensed, still standing between the two of you.

"Did you have a safe journey, Your Highness?" he aptly interrupted the tension, and you eventually caught your breath.

"Perfectly splendid, thank you."

He spoke with that flawless politeness of his, always charming and restrained, baring so little of his spirit... To find the man you'd loved so ardently standing in front of you, to reach within his soul and find a phantom so translucent and thin... Maybe his prayers had been granted, and he had erased it all. It made you sick.

"We weren't expecting you to be back so soon in London, in truth," continued Colin, and even his dazzling extroversion was suffering on your behalf.

"Well, every man eventually finds a reason to retrace his steps... return to what he has left behind. I trust you understand that too, mister Bridgerton?"

It took you a second to catch his bitter tone, so uncharacteristic of him—another second to notice his pointed look at your hand. It still clasped Colin's shoulder, way too close for comfort.

"Oh—!"

"Forgive me—"

Your whole face and neck burnt as you fiddled with your moist hands, but all Friedrich gave you was an unspeakably painful grin, halfway through regret and vitriol, perfectly mirroring your own. He had not erased anything.

"Colin!"

A partly-disheveled brown updo bounced into view from behind Colin, sparing but a glance at the Crown Prince of Prussia.

"Colin, we need your help at once, Francesca spilled her drink on some obnoxious Baron and locked herself in the ladies' refreshing room to avoid the embarrassment, you must talk her down from the hysteria, Mother is about to tear her hair out. Gentleman, Y/N," Eloise hurriedly added, and if she did notice the medals and distinctions on Friedrich's chest, she showed nothing of it.

"Oh! I will go talk to her, if that could help—"

"I'm afraid it must be my brother. He has a way of defusing even the direst of straits like you wouldn't believe, and he knows our sister well..."

"Eloise, are you trying to make a scene in front of the Crown Prince—" Colin admonished between his teeth, redness gripping his cheeks, but Friedrich shook his head with an easy smile.

"It is quite alright. I know a thing or two about rambunctious siblings."

Caught between Eloise's pleading, impatient eyes—and God knew her as impatient, but pleading?—and Lady Y/N's, that threatened irrevocable murder... Colin exhaled shakily.

"Please excuse me, my lady, Your Highness..."

He had disappeared into the crowd, Eloise's ridiculous feathers in tow before you could grab his sleeve and curse his whole lineage. Friedrich, on the other hand, found sweet hilarity in the Bridgertons' antics, if his subtle smile was any indication... albeit lacerated by the terse flick of your fan.

"You look the picture of radiance, lady Y/N."

"What are you doing here?"

He frowned, and his shoulders tensed ever so slightly. If you held your fan just right, wide open and below your nose, you would manage to hide the tremor of your lips, the faltering of your resolve.

"Well, you certainly remember frequent voyages around Europe are part of a royal's duties..."

"Yet you made it abundantly clear you had no business in England anymore, Your Highness."

His expression darkened, like a storm brutally obscuring the horizon, and he let out a sigh rumbling with fatigue. Your grip on your fan weakened as he fidgetted with the hem of his gloves, but you forced your eyes not to leave his evading gaze.

"I had hoped we might have a civil conversation, but perhaps I was mistaken."

"I do apologize, Eure Hoheit," and his eyes snapped back to your face at the effortless, disdainful German, but you stood firm and cold. "Surely this party lacks guests of royal rank, to elevate the conversation."

"Y/N—"

He had heaved the name with scandalous familiarity and leaned close so that the only witness to your desperate rage would be the crook between your mouths. And the party behind you melted away into fury.

"After all, a vulgar Duchess is much too lowly to amuse the heir to the throne. Or is that not the sentiment in Prussia?"

"You know I never insinuated anything of the sort—"

"But you let the thought run and fester until everyone in Prussia believed I was a... a lowlife, which amounts to the same—"

"What do you reckon I should have done? Disobey my family, my kingdom—"

"Perhaps you should never have crossed my path nor addressed me a word!" You were pleading in a whisper, all defenses bared, your fan wilted against your chest. "If I had known you had never intended to be true to your word, and all your vows were for naught..."

"Please, my lady. You cared little for any of my vows when you were on Colin Bridgerton's arm," he hissed with such resentment you were taken aback, and it seemed the recoil of his words wounded him too, because his voice crumbled then. "You deserve every bit of happiness he may give you, but do not fault me for attempting what you have evidently accomplished already."

"You are gravely mistaken..."

But you trailed off, bewitched and confounded and unsteady, lost to the swirling seas of genuine grief in Friedrich's eyes, the shaky grimace into which his lips contorted after he spoke.

Where did those eyes stop and where did the horizon commence, in such a vast expanse of wordless meaning? Were those not the exact hues of the sky you'd pleaded and begged so desperately to relieve you of the memory?

Had you been praying to him all this time, your only god the dizzying warmth of his bare hands on your chest?

"Your Highness! There you are!"

The bubble ruptured, and you emerged gasping for air, fanning yourself with urgency. Thankfully, miss Edwina Sharma had either the requisite naivete not to notice, or the tasteful diplomacy not to mention, the fierce tension she had punctured.

"I am terribly sorry to spring up on you this way, but, ahem... I believe your aunt had promised me your first dance, do you remember? And, well..." She only noticed you then, and her eyes enlarged. "Are the two of you acquainted?"

"Only slightly."

"I know of her."

Neither reply embarrassed itself with courtesy, but Edwina still withheld any acknowledgment, much to your relief.

"I was only unaware that His Majesty was... eligible."

Edwina's quizzical glance swayed between both ends of the quarrel, but Friedrich could not tear his eyes away from you. You, shattered and powerless, but too proud to let any hint of devastation show, who calmly nodded to yourself when he did not answer.

So it had never been about the title, had it? What his family, what his entire country detested was not your lack of royal parentage. It was you. Down to your barest existence.

Had he intended to honor his pledge at all, when he had promised you infinity with his burning fingertips? To honor you, when you were both so certain you'd be wedded that you had let him worship you in the twilight?

"Forgive my absent-mindedness, miss Sharma. Shall you do me the honor?"

She took his arm. The brush of fabric against fabric hissed in your ear; white-hot stars veiled your vision, long enough for the pair to disappear on the dance floor, still too fleeting to soothe the pungent ache.

Seconds, minutes wafted past your sad little corner of the party, invisible teardrops cutting across your skin. The only indication time had not swallowed you whole was a blurry, outstretched hand waving before your eyes.

"Y/N? Lady Y/N, you're decidedly unwell. Do you wish to go home?"

Colin's concern shook you out of your lethargy, the colors of the dancing room falling back into place. Thankfully, your friend seemed too preoccupied with his lopsided handkerchief to notice the sob you gulped.

"You cannot imagine how lucky you are to have well-behaved siblings. Only my family would cause such a scandal at Lady Danbury's... and send me, of all people, to settle it! I hardly believe Benedict could not spare a second of his brooding to solve the conundrum. Are you quite alright?"

"Will you dance with me?"

Colin almost dropped the handkerchief.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me right. We should dance. I insist."

"But—twice in a row? People will..."

He looked over his shoulder at an indefinite point beyond the waltzing crowd. Even among the faces and through the cigar smoke, Penelope's fiery red curls were unmistakable. To him, at least.

"I promise, mister Bridgerton, that if everything goes according to plan, miss Featherington shall have nothing to fear from me starting tonight."

If anything had ever swayed mister Colin Bridgerton, it surely was a lively dance with a good friend at an exhilarating party... and so you were anything but surprised when he offered you his arm and marched you back into the lion's den. Now all you had to do was find the lion and reason with him. Beg him, perhaps. Whatever demanded less courage.

Polite clapping from the outer edges of the dancefloor marked the end of the waltz. From the corner of your eye you sighted Edwina, a vision in coral and virtue—perhaps had you been the same on your debut, doe-eyed and devoted. Friedrich wore courteous interest well, and was as graceful in his steps as in his conversation; still, scathing darkness permeated his every move, crevices so deep only the crude shadows of laughter escaped them. Neither of them made the move to step off the floor. Mordant flames pranced over all the couples; understanding flickered in Colin's eyes, then something like compassion. Cellos picked up a fast tune, the go-ahead to a race. Like a single man, the pairs began their dance.

Never before had you been so grateful for Colin's apt dancing. He led you exactly where you needed to go, discrete enough not to break the meticulous formation, breezing past unsuspecting pairs. If you planted your heels in the ground hard enough, you might just convince yourself you were grounded enough for what was coming... until the violins trilled, Colin gave you away with a resolute nod, you spun with calculated precision, and found yourself face to face with your new partner.

Friedrich did not tremble when your paths crossed, but grazed your hand with an easy smile. Could he taste it, too? That thunder of sulfur rumbling in your throat?

"Miss Sharma is a marvelous young woman. You chose well."

"She is. Though I am afraid I did not have much say in the matter."

His voice was but a strained chord as you circled one another, his hand on your shoulder both a caress and a gash. So close and never enough. His suppliant eyes pulling and pulling you in…

You both snapped back at the same time. He twirled and you spun, back to back, and returned to your previous partners. Colin's raised eyebrow seemed to enjoy the parleys much more than you did.

"And here I thought there existed no man more obtuse than you…"

You missed Colin's snicker. The levity he brought disappeared when Friedrich's handsome frown replaced him once more. Acid bubbled in your chest again… until there was none, and a gaping hole in its place. Only remained the certainty you loved Friedrich. You loved him still. And you would long after the empires he battled crumbled.

Amidst the millions of questions he had incited, only one burned your tongue. You leaned in with the music, murmuring just below his jaw.

"Did you ever love me, Friedrich?"

The very air from his lungs halted.

"Or did you lie to me, like you are lying to her now?"

Not a sound escaped his open mouth, from lack of courage, or because the song came to an end just then. You bowed, a hand to your heart, and swallowed your spleen away. Then you were gone, speeding past a distraught Friedrich and a bewildered Edwina, out of the ballroom like the very walls were draining you out of your blood.

Your feet carried you a few meters beyond the door, until you collapsed against the railing, grabbing its cold metal with all your might. The winter drizzle stung your bowed head, like sharp pearls of rain; you couldn't even tell whether your tremors were the cold of the night or barely contained sobs. Below, the night flickered, blurry, like a jagged picture that the black horizon and the laughter from the party struggled to encompass.

Only the hurried footsteps behind you shook you out of your daze.

"Y/N. Please."

Gentle, as always. Soft and kind. The sheer utterance of your name carried hundreds of years of devotion. You turned around. How come the dimming light framing his face made him even more beautiful and aching?

"I cannot bear to see you like this. Even more so if it is my fault."

"And yet it is all I have been since you departed," you retorted, calling on the sky to give you any remnant of vigor. "Do you not understand? I loved you wholly and unconditionally like I shall never love another. I sacrificed my body and soul for a love so grand, and—and you relinquished it all overnight! You made me a wanton in Prussia and a pariah in England—you exiled me, Friedrich, for there is not a place on Earth I may walk where I am not reminded of you, yet I cannot loathe you. How could I, when you still hold my heart in captivity, and will forevermore?"

He took a step closer, a trembling hand on his heart. Though you furiously blinked away the tears, his shaky words only ignited more.

"I have been a coward and a scoundrel, and there is not a single day that goes by where I do not pray you may forgive me one day. But never have I been dishonest with you."

Another step. The moonlight sparkled, full of silent explosions.

"I loved you then, with all that a man possesses. I loved you still when the King commanded me back to Prussia and introduced me to every princess in Europe. I loved you, feverish and desperate, when my aunt insisted I pursue miss Edwina Sharma. And I love you, foolishly indeed, but no less ardently, now that I am back before you, pleading you will forgive me. Every waking hour, every second I breathe in the sunlight, and in every dream I have, I love you."

"What reason do I have to believe you now?" you cried, not realizing you had stepped forward yourself. Pulling and pulling you in…

"None, I fear. I should only like you to know... that I have suffered every day without you like a hundred of torture… yet seeing you again tonight, right here but so far, is more agony than I thought a man could endure. I realize now I have demanded far too great a sacrifice from you to expect to be loved selflessly in return… but should you want me again, I vow to love you as you deserve. Out in the open, like a firework and a medal to my chest."

Something within you rustled, then shattered, quietly, then all at once. As though the world had lilted, you fell forward, into his arms.

Friedrich caught you, steady and soothing, and his deep breathing and the fresh scent of his dampened collar rocked you with care. How vastly the universe had shifted in just a split second! How easy it all was, to be held and adored by him, like the last two years had been nothing but a bad dream you just woke up from…

"Your people hate me," you murmured through the torrent of your tears.

"They won't."

"Your father disapproves."

"He will learn."

"You will stay?"

"Forever."

Droplets caressed the crown of your hair, perhaps the timid rainshower, or your lost Prince as he kissed the top of your head. You sighed, and chuckled for no reason at all, until you heard his chest purr with undisguised mirth.

"Whatever is so funny?"

"Nothing. And everything, all at once. Forget it."

He did. He would have forgotten anything, with no qualms nor effort, neither fear nor doubt, blanketed by your body's graceful warmth.

Thousands of miles off the ground, a gentle moon smiled down on two fated lovers, forever locked in a forbidden embrace.

tagging; @softeninglooks @alexxavicry (all my writing) @retvenkos @noesapphic (bridgerton)

[peterpparkrr]

art is to feel (ch. 1)

Series: art is to feel

Paring: Anthony Bridgerton x F!Reader

Summary: Anthony Bridgerton has only one goal for this upcoming social season. To find a wife. What will he do when a young woman with no desire for marriage comes waltzing into his life? 

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings: N/A

A/N: I love Bridgerton with all my heart, I was trying to start a regency!au fic with Din Djarin and somehow wrote this instead lol (the regency!din is on its way tho dont worry). Please let me know all of your thoughts and feels on this story as I being to map out future chapters.

// (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) (Chapter 7)

Dear Reader,

The social season is upon us once again. It feels like just yesterday the ton was abuzz with the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Hastings. But of course, their first child, a son, was born two months ago. I’ve been told the heir is happy and healthy. And with the host of aunts and uncles, the future Duke shall never be without love and attention.

This author also has it on good authority that the Viscount, Anthony Bridgerton has stated his intention to finally find a wife. A fact that has many of the ton’s advantageous mamas jockeying for the Viscount’s attentions. 

That of course begs the question-

Will the newborn Duke have a new aunt by the end of this season?

Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers, 20 April 1814

“You really should have been much more subtle, Anthony,” Benedict told his brother as he pushed the gossip rag back towards his younger sisters. “At this rate, you’re not even going to make it through the ball this evening, those mothers are going to rip to shreds before you can get through the door.”

“That is part of the goal, dear brother,” Anthony replied with indifference. “You should be grateful, with all the attention on me you can do as you please without fear of mother’s retribution.’

“Mother’s ire seems to never run out before it is turned on me,” Colin butted into the conversation, bacon hanging unattractively out of his mouth, wobbling slightly as he spoke, “And somehow I don’t think you will manage to be the only bachelor worth noticing this evening.”

Benedict nodded.“Very true, Colin, he certainly is not the most attractive Bridgerton, even if he is the titled one.”

“I still don’t see how any of this is your concern,” Anthony grumbled.

“Our big brother is finally ready to settle down and marry! This is a very big deal!” Colin exclaimed. “I was sure it was never going to happen.”

“Besides, you’re forgetting that once you’re married the brunt of Mother’s concern will be shifted on to us, you were doing us all immense favors by remaining a bachelor,” Benedict added.

“I hate you both,” Anthony grumbled as he stood from the table. He was already starting to regret this entire endeavor. 

Lady (Y/N) (Y/L/N) was one of the most accomplished debutantes of the season. Well-read, accomplished, handsome, and kind. She also boasted an allowance of five thousand pounds a year in addition to her sizable dowry. She was the most desirable match a bachelor could make. 

With no living relatives to speak of, her care had fallen to Lady Danbury, her father’s godmother. The Lady’s penchant for fostering the orphaned nobility of England was well noted. And now that Miss (Y/N) had reached the age of two-and-twenty it seemed that she could no longer avoid the society into which she had been born. She needed to make her debut. 

(Y/N) was fortunate to have had a wonderful childhood with her loving parents. It wasn’t until they passed when she was eleven that she had been placed in Lady Danbury’s care. She’d grown up alongside Simon and felt a certain kinship to him. When he’d gone off to Oxford (Y/N) found herself eager for an escape from the stifling nature of British society. And so Lady Danbury agreed to send her to the continent for her education.

After Simon had completed his education he joined (Y/N) in galavanting the world. The pair had a wonderful time together, exploring the great cities of Europe and remaining as far away from London society as they could. 

When Simon’s father died he had been forced to return to London to sort out his father’s affairs while (Y/N) remained in Italy, studying with a painting instructor on the Mediterranean coast.

(Y/N) had managed to put her debut off for three years longer than most women of her age and status. First with the completion of her education in Paris, and then with her tour of the Mediterranean. (Y/N) would have gone to the colonies if she thought that could keep Lady Danbury from hunting her down and presenting her to society. But she could no longer escape it, and Lady Danbury’s ferocity and powers of persuasion made it impossible to avoid her duty to come into her rightful place in society. 

The time had come, and Lady (Y/N) (Y/L/N) was to be presented to society. 

The white gown itched and felt almost uncomfortably tight around your ribcage, and you felt uncomfortably clean. 

It was beautiful, of course, the beading and lace had been very well made and certainly had no complaints about the dress itself, you were sure any other young woman would have died for the chance to wear it. After all, you had been required to send your measurements ahead to Madame Delacroix, London’s premier modiste, so she could fit the dress that Lady Danbury, your guardian had selected before you returned from the continent, just two days ago.

When your carriage pulled up to Holbourne Hall, Lady Danbury had pulled you into your room before you could even set down your hat and insisted on having you try on your Debutante gown. Thankfully it had fit, so well, in fact, that you were now slightly suspicious that Madame Delacroix was some sort of sorceress for having managed a perfect fit without even having seen you before.

Today was a day of great importance. A debutante’s coming out is supposed to be the most important day of her life prior to her wedding day. Though you were quite certain that a wedding was not part of your future- ever.

You smiled meekly at Lady Danbury as she intertwined your arm with hers and led you up the steps, into the palace. 

You couldn’t help but gawk at the magnificence of the palace as you entered. There were so many beautiful paintings, they seemed to line every wall of the halls. You would have loved nothing more than to spend the day studying the details of each and every one of them, but you could barely spare them a second glance as Lady Danbury pulled you along. 

You had a job to do.

“Chin up, love,” Lady Danbury reminded you as they stood behind the doors, waiting for your turn to be presented in front of the Queen, “You are the daughter of a most honorable line, (Y/N), now do not let them forget it.” 

You nodded solemnly and took a shaky breath. You were not usually nervous, but you would hate to embarrass Lady Danbury. Even though she was all but forcing you into society, you knew it was what was expected of you, and you couldn’t blame her for doing what she believed was best. 

Besides, she was right. Today would mark you officially taking your family’s name as a woman. You would make your parents proud. You would make Lady Danbury proud. Everyone in that room would know that you are every inch a lady. 

“Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N), presented by the Honorable Lady Danbury,” The guard announced as the doors in front of the pair opened. 

You took a deep breath as you walked through the crowd that had gathered, making your way through the hall until you made it to the raised stage that Her Majesty, Queen Charlotte was seated on. 

You curtsied deeply, keeping your eyes trained on the ground in front of you. You could see out of the corner of your eye that Queen Charlotte was standing up from her seat. 

“I don’t believe I ever had the chance to offer you my condolences on the passing of your parents in person, my dear, I am terribly sorry for your loss, even all these years later I still miss your mother dearly.” 

You nod, your smile faltering as you take the Queen’s words to heart, “My mother always spoke so highly of you, Your Majesty, I still remember all of the stories she told me as a child about her time in court.”

“She was a force to be reckoned with, and it seems you will be too,” The queen nodded with a smile before waving her hand.

(Y/N) released the breath she had been holding and smiled with relief as she began her slow retreat from the room.

“Lady Danbury and Lady (Y/L/N), Your Graces,” A footman announced before the pair entered the Duke and Duchess of Hastings’ drawing-room. 

You had your arm tucked around Lady Danbury’s as you led her into the room.

“Simon!” You shouted with glee when your eyes landed on your dear friend before you all but launched yourself into his arms, nearly tackling him to the ground with the force of your hug.

The Bridgerton clan all looked upon the scene with nothing short of a surprise. After watching the way you had conducted yourself at the debut earlier today, you seemed to be a completely different person.

“Oh I’ve missed you so,” You sighed as you looked Simon over, taking him in after so much time apart. “To think last time that I saw you that you were just an infamous bachelor, and now look at you, husband, father, and Duke, all in one!”

“(Y/N), this is my wife, Daphne,” Simon says with a grin as he gestures to Daphne, standing at his side.

“Ah,” You grinned as she focused her attention on Daphne, “Now that I have seen just how beautiful you are I can forgive Simon for not waiting for me to return for the wedding.”


“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Simon speaks so highly of you,” Daphne replied as she took your hand. 

“And he writes so sweetly of you, I feel as though I know you already. I feel we shall become the dearest of friends,” You told Daphne with a grin. 

Simon couldn’t help but grin as his old family and new family met.

“And this is just some of Daphne’s family,” He told you as he turned to face the rest of his guests, “Her mother, her older brothers, Anthony, Benedict, and Colin, and her sister Eloise.”

“It truly is a pleasure to meet all of you,” You told them kindly as you took them all in. You’d never seen such a large family, and you knew there were other children who weren’t even here.

“And I’m so excited to meet the baby,” You add as you place a hand on Daphne’s arm.

“Simon had always been such a splendid correspondent. His letters are full of detail,” You tell her as she leads you over to a chaise and begins to serve you tea. “I’ve always been a rather poor writer, but Simon makes it feel like I haven’t missed much of your new lives together. He’s so lucky to have found you.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you’re too kind,” Daphne replies sweetly, “And you must come back in the morning some day so that you can meet little Amelia.”

“I would love that,” You tell her before turning to Daphne’s younger sister as she sits in the chair on the other side of you, picking at a biscuit. “I see you have a notebook, Eloise, are you a writer?”

Eloise swallowed quickly before shaking her head, “Not truly.”

“She’s always scribbling away in there,” Daphne tells you with a sort of conspiratorial look. “She won’t show anyone what she’s working on.”

You nod at Eloise in understanding, “I totally get that, I never let anyone see my paintings until they’re completely done. It’s so mortifying for someone to see my unfinished work.”

“It’s true, she once threw an easel at me for trying to peak at a painting she was working on,” Simon interjects, causing your to bat at his shoulder.

“You left me no choice!”

After several minutes of good conversation, catching up with Simon and acquainting yourself with Daphne and Eloise, Lady Danbury clears her throat from across the room and stands up expectantly.

“(Y/N), my dear, I’m afraid we must return if we are to finish the preparations for tonight,” Lady Danbury called over to where you were sitting with Daphne, Eloise, and Simon.

“Very well, I expect we’ll see each other again very shortly,” You tell the others as you say your farewells and begin to help Lady Danbury out of the drawing room. “Until tonight!”

“I like her,” Eloise said with a small smile as she glanced down at her notebook.

(next chapter)

[po1songore]

anything you'd crave part c

warning the follower chapter includes but is not limited to female reader, age gap, mention of daddy issues, sweet talk, nicknames and pet names of sexual nature, mention of harassment, heartbreak for the reader etc etc. proceed at your own risk.

authors note! hey, is this another character added?!you but it is, say hi to jeremy,yes, we talking fnaf jeremy !

AUTHORS NOTE 2! next chapter will contain a shit ton of smut,im blue balling you but its totally worth it

a little groan escaped your lips and your head threw back."fuck...that hurts-.."you whined out, sweat dripping down your temple as you held onto the chair in front of you, your back arched..

jane sighed a bit."if you keep crying out like its your first time i won't be able to tighten this fucking dress ."

"why did he even choose a dress with laces on the back?!"

"because it looks good when its tied, you are just crying. dont you know y/n that beauty is pain?take another breath."

you took yet another deep breath and soon it was all set, the dress was fixed on your body and you stepped towards the mirror, heels clicking on the wooden floor of your room. a deep purple silk dress, hugging your figure tightly as the back was open and tied by laces and chains. you looked absolutely gorgeous, the black heels and purse setting the whole thing up.

looking at the reflection you saw jeremy, your childhood friend standing there with the dark coat on his hands as he waited for you to slide your hands through.

you did so and turned to smile at your friends.you looked and felt amazing, and the smile on your face added onto that so much.

"so..how do i look?"

"like a million dollars baby!"jane said and fixed your dress a bit more on your body as jeremy nodded a bit."hey,if this thing works out and he falls in love with you like the movies show, when you are a billionaire dont forget us."he said chuckling.

"of course not, who do you think ill be riding my personal jet with?"you added in the joke."im sorry guys,i know tonight was movie night and all,but i really need this money."

"ahh,are you insane?we will be fine, if i was you id suggest to blow him too for that amount."the girl said which made you red immediately and hit her with your purse.

and the clock ticked and you were finally there, walking outside the limousine and holding onto william's arm. and just for one moment you felt nice.it didnt feel like a boss with his worker, it felt sweet.maybe it was the way he held onto you, or the smell of his cologne, or the way his eyes were glued on you.maybe even the way the suit fit him, the purple tie that matched your dress. maybe jeremy was right for telling you you had some type of daddy issues all these years. you could get used to this. the photographers snapping all these shots of you walking side by side with him,people opening the door to the mansion for you .paparazzi asking your name too.

but you knew none of these was real .you knew you weren't some famous lady, you were just someone that worked as a journalist .you ate with your hands, you could afford cheap beers at best, and you weren't the best at walking on heels. and most importantly you knew this wasn't genuine. you were not the interest of william fucking afton, you were just a pretty and young girl that is a fine accessory besides him.

but why does that bother you?you only cared about your pay.

"hey,y/n."

you snapped out of your thoughts for a moment there and looked up to him as you walked in the mansion.gold and white decorations all around, a plethora of well dressed people you recognized from magazines. butlers everywhere, serving and cleaning.

"you dont have to smile for the cameras and all, these guys are a pain in the ass i know."

a little smile exited your lips as you shook your head.

"okay,now we are gonna meet some rich idiots that think they are better than us.i want you to be super kind and if they say something weird, laugh it off,ill deal with them."

you weren't sure what he meant by that.you tried to not pay attention to all the flashes blinding you from every side.soon enough a large group of men with their partners came along, and talked to william.you got lost though,only staring up at him.

"yeah, we could totally invest to that."

"seems like you have been investing in more than just business, will."

soon chuckles and eyes were turned to you.your face melted from embarrassment as you wanted so bad to say something but,you really didn't want to disappoint william.he asked you to ignored them and thats exactly what you're gonna do.

"huh,cat got her tongue?didn't know you went for mute girls now. at least this one doesn't talk back.what is she, another one of these ones living in these filthy neighborhoods."

"no!"you spoke up, making everyone turn to you.great job y/n.now you have explanations to give that wont make a fool of mr afton.

"i..im y/n l/n, daughter of d/n l/n.my father owns 7% of afton robotics expenses.so please, don't compare me to all those others you are referring to."

you looked at william

then william looked at you

then you both looked at the shocked group and smiled.

"of course, y/n here is going to inherit her dad's place as one of the most important...investors of my company. im even honored she said yes to coming with me tonight!"william said and wrapped his arm around your waist giving you a little squeeze, the way his hand felt on your side making your throat shut.

"well then...

we are so sorry mrs. l/n, we had no idea of your statues.you are more than welcome on our next events as well, we could even talk about some future business plans."

as you were about to speak william interrupted you by pulling you aside."we would love that but i have to show y/n the mansion, maybe some other time."

once you two were lost in the crowd of the people and hid in the buffet, william immediately looked at you like you were out of your fucking mind.

"really y/n?!dad is an investor of 7% of MY company?"he whispered loudly and chugged down immediatly a shot of whiskey from the bar.

"I don't know i dont even have a dad to begin with!!i just didnt like the way they talked to me.."you said and gulped down a glass yourself.

"okay..this is okay as long as the press doesn't learn about this, we are okay.but for the rest of the night you can not tell anyone anything like that again all right...?"he told you, eyes locked to yours in an almost hurt manner."promise."

"okay i promise i wont."

with a nod, he poured you two another drink for each.and the night passed smoothly, you kept that big mouth of yours shut and you just kept on chugging glasses of rum and whiskey until you were too numb to even answer.not just you, but william too, a sentence could not be formed without a giggle.and now, it was finally time to go, and you two walked out down the carpet of the mansion, leading to the road.you were surprised he held you up well enough that neither of you fell to the ground.

"okay."he shut the door of the limo and sat besides you.

"whats your address y/n..i...i think i need to drop you down..i mean home..i.."genuine drunken giggles filled the car as you giggled at his laugh, and fell back on the seat absolutely dead.

"i live in...in..holy shit!"you laughed realizing you didn't remember your new address since you were new in the neighborhood and the alcohol didn't help clear the memory.

"its okay, you can sleep at my place..what was it..princess of denmark?"

"no it was daughter of investor."

you two broke into laughter in the backseat,your head on his chest as tears filled your eyes from laughs.the whole limo smelled of rum and cologne.you almost blacked out on top of william but sadly the ride was over soon,as you reached his house.

"c'mon, lets get you up and then you can sleep."

the cold air made your vision better for a few seconds,only enough to see the four floor house with the gigantic garden, pool and glass windows of your boss.as he put his security code on the door, you were dumbfounded.

"this isnt a house this is a museum god.."you said as william laughed a bit.

"no..its not that grand."he helped you in, and shut the door behind.you, drunken and careless at this point took off your heels and threw them aside, while afton undid his tie and ran a hand through his hair."hell i cant even stand straight.."he told you with a little giggle.

"me neither..i think my entire makeup is ruined too.."

"i doubt it, but i cant promise it either, im not sure i can even tell the colors on your face."he said with a little chuckle and walked closer to check on your makeup.

"isn't it smudged?"you asked with a little giggle and held onto his arm, his hand going on your lip to fix the smudge on the side of your lips.

"no its perfect actually..."by now your faces were inches away from each other, to the point you could feel his breath.

"well.."you cleared your throat."why dont we..uh..ruin it a bit?"

after a second, you felt william's lips on yours, and a small groan of relief escaping him, as the room filled with your heavy breaths.your hands flew to rest on his shoulders as his moved to your hips,and you felt yourself sit back on top of the couch's back..

"wait y/n im so sorr-"

"no dont be."you pulled him by his collar bringing him in onto your lips again, now his hands pulling on your hips to glue you on his body immediately..