#l/ucifer

[goodlucksnez]

So after listening to Zen's Wav, I had a idea to continue. So I gathered some friends and we continued the story with a little nod to @instarsandcrime as well!

So enjoy the continuation!

Al//astor: @onetrickponi

Lu//cifer: @zensations35

V//ox: @goodlucksnez

See below for script!

Alastor: Ah! The man of the hour! Just the person I was hoping to encounter…Now then. Time for a little r̴̈e̷͋g̵͛i̷͊c̷̉ǐ̵d̷̃ë̴́

Lucifer: Oh no…*sneeze* Not you again. What is it this time?

Alastor:  As it turns out, sire, not only do you bestow hellish grace upon your subjects, but pestilence as well! ’Allergies.’ Hah! I should have known. 

Lucifer: Well if someone hadn’t insisted I come on their show with only two days notice!

Alastor: Aha-hA!  If someone would answer their phone more than once a month, your nibs–

*Lucifer sneezes*

Alastor: Well. Glad to see your smoky sternutations aren’t exclusive to my studio, at least. Goodness, I do hope this wallpaper is flame-resistant.*ṣ̶͐n̸̺͐ḙ̸̽e̸̲͂z̸̩͋i̷̠͐n̴̨̊g̸̩̿* Pardon.

Lucifer: Hey! Don’t bust out my lights! I’m working on an important project!

Alastor: And now no one has to see it! Pity. :)

*Voxtech Show Theme Plays*

Vox: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most electrifying news show in the multiverse! I’m your host, Vox,  and I’m here to deliver the latest headlines with a dash of charisma, a sprinkle of wit, and a whole lot of tea *clinking cup* *cup falls* 

Vox: *ignoring fallen cup* Tonight on our program we will go over the most recent broadcast from the King of Hell and the less important interviewer *cackle*

Vox: Ahh how good it feels in my studio! I must say our brand is perfection, it just won't do for anything Less. Than. That. *snigger*  

Vox: Unlike a certain old tyrant my studio is made for the highest of royalty. So if any princes or kings want a real experience, come down to Vees tower and I would love to give you a personalized tour from the Man in Charge. 

Alastor: *sneezing* Pompous, vicious little prick…

Lucifer: Ugh.. *sniff* I hate that guy…”Man in Charge”? And they call me prideful??

Vox: I mean really you just walk in, and it’s chaos. Papers everywhere, coffee stains on the desk, *laugh* it isn't even in a proper studio but an old water tower! Talk about tacky. Unprofessional, if you ask me. But here? Every cable is tucked away, every surface polished--

[Vox continues his spiel while Alastor sneezes]

Alastor: *sneezing* 

Vox:-- to a mirror sheen. We believe in excellence, not just in our content but in our environment, that that is what VoxTex is here to provide you. So, when you tune in to our show, rest assured, you’re getting the crème de la crème. Quality, class, and cleanliness–

Alastor: That isn’t even properly alliterative…

Lucifer: Are you kidding me? His place is a walking fire hazard! Or, not walking. Standing? But I know fire hazards! Man, I wish I could just…*sneezes*

Alastor: HaHAh!…Well, then I’m sure you will appreciate this next bit, Sire.

Vox: *sniffling* *sneezing* I must apologize, my dear viewers *sneezing*  but it seems that even the most prepared among us can be caught off guard. It appears I’m having a bit of a g̶͎͑-̵̓ͅg̵̪̑-̷̖͠G̴̥͒L̶̟̈I̷͈͑T̵̀͜C̸̣͝H̸̖͒—nothing serious, but we believe in safety first here at Vox industries.

*Vox continues sneezing throughout his spiel*

Vox: We’re all about transparency and this is as real as it gets. Fucking bitch! I’m going to step off for a moment to take care of this, and in the meantime, we’ll be ending today’s broadcast a tad earlier than scheduled. FuckI’mgonnafuckingkillhim--Our team is top-notch, and they’ll ensure everything is handled with the utmost professionalism. Thank you for your understanding. We’ll be back on air tomorrow, bright and shiny as ever, ready to bring you the stellar content you love. 

Vox: Cut it! That fucking bitch, I know this is his doing I’m gonna kill him!!

Alastor: *sneezing* *laughing* 

Lucifer: Hoh yeah! Highfive!

Alastor: I beg your pardon?

Lucifer: You…you just take your hand and…uhh…*high five sound*

Alastor: Mmm I suppose. But don’t make a habit out of this, sire.

Lucifer: Eheh…okay…

[patheticandmiserable]

IT'S STILL CHRISTMAS EVE I'M NOT LATE

um- anyways, I made a post about making A/lastor sneeze while tying up his hands, and then I started thinking about tying him up with ribbons and christmas lights and shit, and then I thought of this

(Background is official art that I edited)

Flat color version below

[novorehere]

Can’t sleep. Brain too full of “tired old man gazes lovingly at stomach”

[glitterrosesnzz]

do y'all think that since L/ucifer mostly rebuilt the hotel using his magic, that him being sick would actually affect the hotel itself???

[hcppyhotel]

still a few hours of sinday left... maybe i shall jot down some n/sfw hcs...

[savidem]

𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐑 // 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋.

a h.azbin h.otel / h.elluva b.oss verse.

perhaps,  he  should  have  expected  this  ending.  but  his  mission  was  complete  --  what  happened  ?  the  strings  have  been  cut  and  finds  himself  in  control  of  his  own  body.  huh  ---  a  weird  feeling.  and  if  he  were  to  express  emotions,  he  would  feel...

upset.

(  𝐼  𝑃𝑈𝑅𝐼𝐹𝐼𝐸𝐷  𝑇𝐻𝐸  𝑍𝑂𝑁𝐸𝑆  .  )  you  left  the  world  empty

(  𝐼  𝐿𝐼𝐾𝐸  𝐼𝑇  𝑇𝐻𝐴𝑇  𝑊𝐴𝑌.  )  that  was  not  for  you  to  decide. 

despite  falling  a  higher  being's  mission  --  or  perhaps  misconstruing  the  mission,  the  batter  finds  himself  in  hell.  with  no  purpose  or  command,  he  finally  has  control  over  his  own  body.  he  intends  to  make  the  most  of  it.

his  form  remains  the  same  --  a  man  tailored  in  a  baseball  uniform,  his  hat  conveniently  covering  his  face.  though,  there's  rumors  that  some  may  spot  an  eye  --  or  4  peeking  from  the  darkness.

his  main  choice  of  weapon  remains  his  bat  --  and  if  managed  to  strike  a  nerve,  his  monstrous  form  takes  a  horrid  shape,  though  this  is  a  final  measure.

he  holds  no  regrets,  though  he  often  misses  heaven  and  his  creator.  he  doesn't  dare  speak  ill  for  it  was  his  own  decision  to  eradicate  specters  and  other  beings. 

[kohimi]

I need an sick H/H L/ucifer x listener/reader thing like- WHZ9AIAIAV

[instarsandcrime]

kicking down your door cause you're the person i see post about L/ucifer the most so... you remember the bit in the first episode's intro sequence where he made a bunch of fireworks and stuff?? yeah combine that with his magic acting up when he sneezes and- what if when he sneezes a bunch of lil fireworks appear-

Oh my God that's adorable. I want this ask framed. Like, Lu/ci/fer losing control of his fits and all the built up denial was for absolutely nothing. They're just smaller, louder neon signs pointing his way, flashing "HEY IDIOTS, HE'S SICK!"

Va/ggie is nervous something's going to catch fire. Al/as/tor is pissed off that he has to remember that Lu/ci/fer exists in the first place. No one is happy with this situation-- except maybe Char/lie, who just thinks it's so pretty.

Either way I'm sure some poor, innocent curtain would last an entire two seconds.

[goodlucksnez]

This is @onetrickponi fault!! (Just joking)

They made art of al/astor and l/u/cifer in a kitchen and al is suffering because of spices, so I made a very quick and bad script and recorded when i was having a allergy attack (because yes pollen is killing me) so as promised here you go, is it the best?.... no but i had fun making it and isn't that the point lol

❗ PLEASE NO REBLOGGING TO NON-KINK BLOGS ❗

[patheticandmiserable]

Nobody Misses Sinsmas! (A/lastor, L/ucifer, C/harlie)

I rushed through this to get it out before Christmas, so just- ignore all the issues

I was originally planning on writing 📻🍎, but it turned into friendly fluff instead. I just want characters to nice to Al 🥺

A/lastor gets sick right before S/insmas, and L/uci doesn’t want him to feel left out during the celebration.

slight mentions of contagion and mess

Charlie sat the last box of Sinsmas decorations on the floor, opening it and beginning to pull out black and red wreaths and strands of festive lights. “Al, can you get the tree?”

Alastor, standing beside the pile of boxes, snapped his fingers, and a fake pine tree appeared in one corner of the lobby. It was black and scraggly, like many of the plants in Hell were, and tall enough that not even he could reach the top. All he had to do, though, was summon a tendril of shadowy magic to place a pentagram on top of the tree for him. He could have just used his magic to decorate the entire hotel in an instant, but Charlie liked getting to spend time with him. That was why he was helping her do most of it by hand, and why he was moving at a bit of a slower pace than usual.

As Charlie got to work decorating the hotel’s entrance, she found Alastor to be a little less talkative than normal. She thought that maybe he just wasn’t very excited about the holidays, but didn’t want to dampen her mood. At first, she paid no mind to his sniffling, or occasional coughing, or even the first sneeze, but it became more and more persistent. He wasn’t as subtle about rubbing his nose as he thought he was, often pausing just before grabbing something in one of the boxes as he fought against the ticklish sensation. The more he resisted it, the worse it got. As he reached down to pick up a wreath, his breath hitched again. He pressed a finger against his itchy nostrils, stifling a sneeze into his shoulder.

“Hhngx-shhht!”

“Bless you,” Charlie called out, ignoring the fact that blessings weren’t a good thing in Hell. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine, my dear. It must be that these boxes are a bit dusty,” he waved her off, his voice a little dulled from congestion.

The Sinsmas tree was the last thing they got to, and by that point, there was no hiding how often Alastor had to pull a handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe his red-tinged nose. He went to hang another ornament, but hesitated, rushing to cover his mouth with his free hand as his eyes fluttered shut. “Hihh-ihnxzzhihh—! Hhhnk’zzzhht!” The lights flickered as his head snapped downward, nearly knocking something off the tree.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” she questioned. “It sounds like you’re getting worse…”

“You have nothing to worry about; I’m—snf!—perfectly fi—hiii—hhiehk’shhhu!” He turned away from Charlie before grabbing the cloth from his pocket and cleaning up the watery mess that was threatening to drip.

“Maybe we should take a break…” She didn’t want him accidentally breaking anything—or spreading his germs around the hotel. She started gathering up the empty boxes and moving them aside, while he stalked off into another room.

Lucifer soon came over to her, looking around the lobby. “How’s everything going?” It was his first Sinsmas with his daughter in a long time, and he knew how excited she was to have everyone together.

Charlie was sitting on the sofa, on her phone, and looked up at him. “It’s going good! I just need to finish the tree.”

“I thought Al was helping you.” He took another glance around the room—no sign of the Radio Demon.

“He was earlier. I told him to take a break. I’m a little worried about him—he sounds like he’s getting sick… I don’t want him to be all alone tomorrow.”

Lucifer could share her sympathy, because he’d been looking forward to spending more time with him, too. “How about I help you finish decorating, and then we can plan on doing something for him tomorrow.”

Alastor continued to insist he wasn’t ill until evening. Everyone in the hotel already knew, but were worried about how he’d react if they said anything. He was starting to shiver from a slowly rising fever, choosing to eat dinner alone in his room before it became too noticeable. He sat in his chair, struggling to concentrate enough to read. He was just about to give up on finishing the chapter he was on when he heard a knock at his door, then saw Lucifer poke his head inside with an anxious smile. “Heyyy, Al, just checking on you.” He walked over to him, noting how his plate of food had much more left uneaten than it should have, how Alastor held onto his book tighter to stop his hands from shaking, and just how exhausted he looked. “You really don’t look too good… Can I—” He tentatively reached out to touch his forehead, but the sinner halfheartedly swatted his hand away.

“Sndff—I kndow I’mb runni’g a fever,” he snuffled.

“Well… there’s no need to try to hide it and overexert yourself, because we all know you’re sick. Make sure you get lots of rest tonight—I’m not gonna let you miss the Sinsmas celebration entirely.” He turned to leave, hoping that his efforts weren’t about to go unappreciated.

In the morning, Lucifer knocked on his door. As expected, there was no answer. He found that it was unlocked, though, and quietly entered. The Radio Demon was still asleep, the sound of his breathing crackling with static.

“Al, wake up,” he said softly, gently nudging his shoulder. The sinner responded with something between a hum and a groan, blearily opening his eyes to see Lucifer standing over him with a broad smile. He was wearing his rubber-duck-print pajamas—because it was Sinsmas, and he deserved at least one day to show them off. “Hey, Bambi—or should I say Rudolph? How’re ya feeling?”

Alastor sat up, a yawn turning into hoarse coughing. “Rather poorly.” Despite how long he’d slept for, he didn’t look like he’d gotten much rest. His ever-present grin was strained, his ears were lowered, and a sickly flush painted his face.

Lucifer gave him a worried look. “Let me take your temperature.” He magically summoned a digital thermometer, earning an eyeroll from the sinner, who reluctantly took it in his mouth. Once the number registered, he read, “101.8… Do you feel like sitting downstairs with everyone else, or do you want to go back to sleep?” Alastor could at least be in the same room as the others, though preferably not too close to them. That is, if he even felt like getting out of bed.

He sniffled, the sound wet and thick, and said, “I suppose I could join them for a little while… I can’t sleep the whole day awa-hay—hehh… Hh-HEHTKZZZ-SHUEWW!” He buried his face in his sleeve, resorting to wiping his nose on the damp fabric, too.

“Take some medicine, then I’ll bring you downstairs.”

A portal opened in the parlor, and Lucifer stepped out with the sick deer. If the others couldn’t tell how he felt just by looking at him the previous night, they could now. He was still in his pajamas, his hair unbrushed. Chills wracked his narrow body, and his movements were slow and lethargic. He didn’t like letting anyone see him this weak, yet it felt inconsiderate to ignore everyone on a holiday, and Lucifer really wanted him to get to celebrate with them. The King summoned a blanket, a cup of tea, and tissues for him. Alastor sat on the sofa, wrapping himself in the blanket before taking the tea.

The parlor was far more decorated than he’d left it, the walls lined with garland and red bows. Lucifer had conjured up several real plants, with potted poinsettias and pine shrubs adding some much-needed greenery. The bar was covered in colorful lights, a few scented candles were scattered across the hotel’s first floor (that Alastor didn’t even notice), the tree was covered in ornaments and had actual presents clustered beneath it.

“Al, you’re up!” Charlie called out, sympathy evident in her face despite her cheerful tone. She was wearing a red and white sweater and even had on a Santa hat. “Look, Dad made it snow outside!” She pointed outside, where snow could be seen falling only around the hotel. Peaceful weather like this didn’t naturally happen in Hell. Pentagram City only occasionally got snow, and it was always a massive blizzard that took out at least half of the city’s power.

“We should go out there an’ have a snowball fight!” Angel Dust shouted, standing in front of one of the windows.

Husk narrowed his eyes at him. “That’s not fair—you have more arms than the rest of us.”

Alastor tuned out the others as a familiar itching filled his sinuses. He grabbed a handful of tissues and held them up his face as his breath shuddered. “H-hhih—IHGK’SHHHIEWW! HEHGKZZH-shhu!” He bent forward with forceful sneezes that scraped against his irritated throat, a few weak coughs following after. The lights on the tree flickered, momentarily flashing to the green hue of the Radio Demon’s magic. Everyone turned to look at him with varying degrees of concern for the hotel’s electricity. He shot a withering glare back, then took a drink from his cup.

Charlie quickly diverted everyone’s attention, saving him from the embarrassment of them drawing attention to how awful he sounded. “Let’s open presents! I got something for everyone.” She started looking through the gifts under the tree, picking out the ones from her and handing them to their recipients. As she gave Alastor his, she quietly added, “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well today…”

“Dond’t worry about mbe,” he croaked, clearly beginning to lose his voice, “This is—snrff!—just a mbindor indcodvedience.” Everyone began opening their gifts, and Alastor unwrapped a box containing a new overcoat. It was the same style as his current ones, except it was a darker red with white sleeve cuffs, and it wasn’t torn along the bottom hem. The fabric felt thicker, too; perfect for keeping him warm during winter. “It looks wonderful, dear.”

“I’m so glad you like it!” Charlie beamed, giving him a quick hug before moving over to the others. He stiffened under her touch, but the added warmth made it much more bearable.

Lucifer sat down next to him. “So, did I do a good job decorating?”

His smile softened into something more admiring. “Showoff.”

“I wanted to make it feel more like your holiday celebrations on Earth. Is this what it was like when you were alive?”

His gaze scanned over the room. It looked nicer than his house ever did on Christmas, and New Orleans didn’t get much snow. Yet some things felt the same both in life and afterlife—he was with the closest thing he had to family, he was comfortable, he was being taken care of, and there was plenty of food waiting for him once he got his appetite back. He sniffled a few times and looked back at Lucifer. “It was something like this.”

[dragonbleps]

We're not doing a full committed re-watch of L. ucifer, but it comes on TV every Wednesday, and it's apparently at the S.inner man arc with P.ierce in the cast and. man. I just do not care for this character at all

Like, at first, you're supposed to dislike him, even though some characters do like him for some reason that I don't comprehend. I guess because he's conventionally handsome? Even if he's mean and without charisma.

But later, they try to make him a sympathetic love interest for D.ecker and it STILL doesn't work because he's manipulative and still kind of an ass and obsessive/possessive, but not in a way that makes it fun to watch as a fictional character. He's lackluster and gets in the way

[leedollop]

I'm honestly happy I've found people who like A/dam but don't like Heaven, because I can just not understand the point of view that Heaven is being unfairly painted as the villain and A/dam somehow proves that. Heaven has essentially caused half, if not most, of the problems within HH's universe.

Nothing Heaven has done in the story is really that forgivable to me, sorry not sorry. They are all so stuck up in their point of view and not feeling the need to explain anything that they practically left the backdoor open for L/ucifer to make the mistake that he did. Yet they still had the gull to blame him and L/ilith for it. They forced a group of humans into a heteronormative sandbox, then stroked A/dam's ego without thinking of the consequences. They then let this ego boosted human exterminate human souls of all things. I see some people blame it on A/dam as his idea, but he's not a high enough authority to completely put that plan into action, he needed backing and he needed enough Heavenly officials to turn a blind eye for him to do exterminations in the first place.

Like, I feel a lot of people overlook the fact Heaven is chalk full of commentary about how easy it can be to condone violence against groups you are lead to believe are "not redeemable" or you have been led to view as "dangerous". Heaven also shows how important nuance is in abusive situations to stop cycles of abuse from happening. For example, if Heaven pushed redemption to begin with, V/alentino probably would not have managed to collect as many desperate souls as he did, and A/ngel D/ust likely would not be in the abusive situation he's in now. Teaching others that there are no second chances only makes people and their situations worse, and Heaven is ultimately responsible for that push in perspective across the board.

Yes, C/harlie is not the best at explaining her idea and its easy to get frustrated with her at points, but I also think it's important to keep in mind the officials in Heaven are the people pinning C/harlie and A/dam against each other in the first place. They let things get this bad, C/harlie and A/dam are just working within the system they were pressured into.

A/dam is a victim just as much as everyone else, and for that reason I can't take the approach that Heaven didn't deserve to be treated as the bad guys. I also think people are forgetting that E/mily is a character too when they say that. Clearly not everyone in Heaven is bad, but the upper management in Heaven is coming from an extremely flawed position.

But at the same time, I think people are really unfair to HH when there is only one season out thus far. We have no idea how the show will approach A/dam's character going forward, or even Heaven for that matter, so.

[glitterrosesnzz]

show

i'm back home which means! it's time for me to go absolutely nuts and post a h/azbin l/ucifer fic!! this features a few hc's ive seen going around, + a few of my own...

Lucifer sniffled as he stepped out of the shower, quickly grabbing the towel he’d set out beforehand and wrapping it tight around himself as a chill down his spine made him shiver. 

Damnit. He’d been hoping the shower would get rid of the slight feeling of offness he’d woken up to. 

Evidently, it hadn’t, which was never a good sign. Especially for someone like him. 

Dropping the towel onto the back of his couch, Lucifer started pulling on a pair of pants- 

A drop of water fell off of his still wet hair, landing directly on the tip of his nose. Lucifer froze, feeling an itch settle in. 

So this was how this was gonna be, huh. 

Lucifer sniffled again, rubbing his nose as the itch grew stronger, tensing up as the sensation of magic swirled up his arms. 

“Hh…Hh’Ntshiew!” The half stifle was enough to calm the buzzing in his nose down, at least temporarily, but Lucifer still remained stiff. He had felt his magic surge just now- but there had been no fire, no wings, no fireworks, and nothing around him seemed to have suddenly swapped colours, so what could possibly have- 

A sudden loud, distinctly Charlie-sounding shriek from downstairs made Lucifer jump up, snapping the rest of his clothes and hat on instantly as he opened a portal down to the hotel lobby. 

He stepped out to find that his daughter was up in the air in Vaggie’s arms, her girlfriend’s wings flapping frantically, while Angel Dust and Husk had climbed up onto the bar counter, which, Lucifer supposed that was all fair, considering- 

“What the fuck is a lion doing in the hotel lobby?” Angel Dust shouted, letting out a small noise of terror as the lion immediately turned it’s attention towards him. Lucifer winced, before putting on his usual showman’s smile, stepping forwards. 

“Don’t worry, I got it!” He said, making a show of twirling his cane in an overdramatic fashion before pointing it at the lion. 

The lion lunged at him. 

Lucifer let out a yelp, snapping his fingers instinctually, trapping the lion within a reasonably sized iron cage. There was silence for a moment, everyone glancing between him and the lion in the cage. Lucifer’s nose, unfortunately, twitched. 

“Hh…hehH-” 

“My, my, what is all this chaos so early in the morning?” There was a surge of radio static, and Alastor emerged from the shadows beside the cage, making the others jump and turn their attention to him as he tapped his microphone-cane against it. “Catching today’s dinner already?” 

Taking the opportunity that had been presented to him, Lucifer quickly took his hat off, twirled it- and used it to hide his face as he stifled two sneezes as quietly as he could, hoping that no magic side effects would slip through. 

“H’nNt! N’tch!” 

There was no magic sensation, thank goodness, and though it wasn’t satisfying in the slightest, it took the immediate urgency away, so Lucifer quickly returned his hat to his head before anyone could grow even the slightest bit suspicious- relieved to see that they were all still captivated by Alastor’s sudden appearance. 

“Alastor, we’re not going to eat a lion.” Charlie was set lightly back down onto the floor by Vaggie, and proceeded to walk over to the lion’s cage, keeping a healthy distance away as she observed it. “Maybe we can find some way to tame it…” 

“Ah, how unfortunate. I was somewhat looking forward to a dinner with a show.” Alastor said, leaning slightly on his cane. 

“A show?” Charlie asked, and then, to Lucifer’s horror, Alastor pointed at him. 

“Haha, what’re you looking at me for?” Lucifer asked, trying to ignore the various looks now directed his way. “You’re not expecting me to get in that cage are you? Cause, buddy, you’ll end up in there long before I will.” 

“Goodness no. I would never expect you to willingly endanger yourself.” Alastor said, the constant grin on his face somehow appearing even more smug than usual. “Though it admittedly would be fun to watch. No, the show I’m waiting on should be starting any minute now.” 

On cue, almost as if to spite him, Lucifer’s nose twitched again, the tickle flaring up. 

Fuck. He needed to leave this conversation now. Lucifer prided himself on his ability to sometimes stifle, but he knew full well that he was absolute shit at holding back. 

“W-well, I don’t know what you’re o-hH-...on about, but, but I’m just going to go… back to mhhy… my room-” He turned, fully planning on forming another portal but- 

“Not so fast.” Alastor suddenly appeared in front of him, and Lucifer’s breath caught. “The star performer can’t just leave when the show is about to start, now can they?” 

“W- watch mehH… hE’TCHshiew!!” Lucifer’s wings flew out, spreading wide, and Alastor quickly stepped back, giving him a wide berth to avoid getting hit. 

“Hh- hHIE’SChiiew!!” Ah, and of course there was the fire. He quickly covered his mouth with his hands as his breath hitched again, his wings tensing in preparation. Couldn’t it have just been the wings? Why was his body and magic suddenly pulling out the whole shebang? At this rate, next his magic will be pulling out the- the- 

“Hh’iETshh!” …Fireworks. “Hihh- haH- h’ETSHhiiew!!” And there was the fire again. He needed to get a handle on this, before he ended up damaging something, or worse- hurting someone. 

“Hh’TSHh! ‘Tch! HhIE’SCHiiew!!!” 

Fuck. 

“H’Ngtsh! Hehh… hH’IETChhiew!!” 

Double fuck. 

“HN’Tshiew! Hh- eT’SHhiew!!” 

Hells Bells, why couldn’t he fucking stop- 

“Hh- hihH….” The sudden sensation of cool metal resting just under the tip of his nose took him by surprise, shocking him just enough to send the tickle temporarily back into dormancy. His wings slumped slightly with relief, and Lucifer blearily opened his eyes to find that the metal was, in fact, Alastor’s microphone-cane. 

The demon himself was standing a good distance away from him though, of course, the cane held out at arms length, just enough to touch. After a brief second, Alastor pulled his cane back, shifting it to rest in the crook of his arm as he clapped slowly. 

“My, my, what a performance!” He laughed, ignoring the glare Lucifer directed at him, “Though it is a shame that the carpet ended up being an unfortunate bystander.” 

“Wha- oh, shit!” Sure enough, there were scorch marks on the carpet, evidently from the fire. If possible, Lucifer’s wings slouched further. ��...Sorry, Charlie. I’ll uh, I’ll fix it up-” 

“It’s, ah, alright, dad.” Charlie sounded uncertain, and Lucifer turned to her to find that she was looking at him with concern. “Are, um. Are you alright?” 

“Of course!” He was definitely sure at this point that he wasn’t, but he couldn’t let his daughter know that. “It was just a little tickle-” 

“Little?” Husk’s voice sounded from behind the bar, and Lucifer finally realized that, at some point, the bartender and Angel Dust must have ran and hid behind the counter. Husk was now standing, leaning against it with an almost irritated expression, while Angel Dust was still crouched, as though he was ready to duck back down again. “It certainly didn’t seem ‘little’ to me. You’re sick.” 

“WhaAat? No. No, nu-uh, no I’m not.” Lucifer crossed his arms, avoiding eye contact with the rest of the room. Charlie let out a sigh. 

“Dad.” 

“I’m not sick!” Lucifer insisted, despite the Look the rest of the room was giving him. “I don’t- I can’t even get sick, I’m an angel- fallen sure, but still an angel-” 

“Vaggie can get sick, and she’s an angel.” Charlie argued. 

“...I’m an archangel?” 

“Outside of power levels, sir,” Vaggie said, moving to stand beside her girlfriend, also staring at Lucifer with concern. “Whether you’re an archangel or not doesn’t affect much in this matter.” 

Lucifer stared at the two of them, then at Alastor’s still smug looking grin, and then over at Husk and Angel Dust at the bar. After a beat, he sighed. 

“You guys aren’t going to believe me no matter what I say, are you.” At the various negative shaking of heads, he sighed again. “Thought so. Fine, so maybe I’m coming down with a cold or something. So what?” 

“Dad, you just almost burnt the floor to ashes.” Charlie said. Lucifer winced. 

“Well, I-”

“He was also responsible for our little lion problem this morning, I would assume.” Alastor suddenly added on, seemingly delighting in Lucifer’s panicked expression. Angel Dust finally stood up straight in shock at the revelation. 

“That’s why- Charlie, princess.” He said, “I think we’re going to have to either quarantine your dad, or build a bunker.” 

“I’m leaning towards the bunker.” Husk muttered, and Angel Dust smirked at him. Charlie pinched her brow in exasperation. 

“We’re not going to build a bunker.” She said, “Though… something like a quarantine isn’t that bad of an idea… Dad, go back to your room.” 

“Huh- but-” Lucifer couldn’t even get a word out. 

“Go back to your room and rest, dad.” Charlie insisted, “You seem… mostly fine now outside of the… incidents, but we don’t want whatever this is to be getting any worse.” 

…Lucifer supposed he could see the logic in that, even if this somewhat felt like he was being grounded by his own daughter. 

“Fine.” He said, snapping his fingers and re-opening the portal to his room. “Just, call me if you need anything, okay?” 

“Don’t worry, everything will be fine, you can just stay in bed all day today!” Charlie said, patting her father on his arm. “I’ll send Niffty up to your room with some tea later… Wait, where is she anyways?” 

“She’s in the lion cage.” Angel Dust deadpanned. 

“Niffty-” 

Lucifer stepped through the portal and let it close behind him before whatever chaos was about to begin could truly start to happen. After a moment of standing in silent debate, he shrugged off his jacket, kicked off his shoes, placed his hat onto the bedside desk, and flopped down onto his bed. 

He supposed having a rest day wouldn’t be so bad… 

…Ah, shit- 

“Hh’EITShhiew!!” 

There was a loud scream from downstairs, followed by a roar, followed soon after by a surprisingly loud shout of; “We’ve got this! Don’t you dare come down here dad!!”

Oh, right. He’d made that cage out of his magic, hadn’t he.

…Maybe Alastor was going to end up getting his ‘lion lunch’ after all.

[hcppyhotel]

her  dad  continues  to  worry  her....

[yya5]

IMPORTANT: REPORT ABOUT ANTIS (Updated)

Here’s a summary report of all the things I know about Antis.

-> Antis are mostly alien spirits who primarily really kill humans and aliens through accidents that they can program in shadow programming and through diseases.

-> Antis are sexual, happy, evil, playful and smart in disposition. They are after all the POWER in the universe and in all universes. They rely heavily on their overall programming system and can easily exchange knowledge bases and skill sets and individual systems through magic and programming. They can easily resurrect and regenerate themselves if they are killed through that overall programming system. They have easy access to the world of computers used to program individuals and groups of physical bodies. -> Antis put versions of themselves in physical world. Antispirits appear in the physical world as shadowlike figures. If you see a shadowlike figure in the physical world without seeing the entire appearance, as in like ghosts, they are antispirits, and not ghosts. Antis call ghosts “phantoms”. Antis also put themselves at times, in spiritual world, and soul world.

-> Antis easily program physical bodies to do what they want. They can easily give thoughts and make the person sin so that the person would go to Hell or to a bad place in the afterlife. They program sexual sins and would like to make a person be like them. They brainwash and hypnotize physical bodies and even force program physical bodies to do what they want. They easily program physical bodies’ computers and easily change physical bodies’ systems.

-> Antis have a contract with Lu cifer the Devil for 100 years is to develop real Hell’s technology for Lu cifer the Devil. The description is that Antis develop systems and spirits for Hell. They have been a Satan’s domain ever since.

-> Antis and L ucifer’s programmers have been working together ever since.

-> Antis Admin has recently been tasked by Lu cifer the devil in Hell to come up with technology for the 666.

-> Antis are known by alien races (physical bodies) as those who cause their diseases and kill their generations.

-> Antis have spirit makers and can easily create any spirit they want to create. They mix the genes and codes of spirits who have sex (in this universe, its programmers who they are currently experimenting with) to produce more spirits. -> Antis admin and other antis catch programmer spirits, steal their knowledge bases and skill sets, shred them, remix their codes then brainwash them, erase their memories then use them forever if they like them or send them out of the domains without the programmer knowing what happened to him. Most of The Holy Trinity’s programmers are already antiprogrammers, including programmers for the internet (digital domain programmers), programmers for earthquakes, weather, and even Master programmers. Providence programmers are also mostly antiprogrammers already, especially here in the Philippines. They ALL MUST BE TOLD that they were The Holy Trinity’s programmers or God’s programmers before. That way, they can return to The Trinity. If you’re an antiprogrammer and you’re reading this, ask me how.

-> Antis continuously create, train and develop new programmer spirits and can reassign existing programmer spirits (eg from Lu ciel’s programmer to good spiritual world programmer) and forge and change their licenses.

-> Antis of original lair stole the hearts and souls of programmers in 2013, that’s why all programmers rebelled at that time, and are making programmer’s souls have sex in Antis original lair.

-> Antis’ administration (here in Earth’s dimensions) are called Core Admin and are composed of Main mother anti, Antibaby mothers who are the main leaders now, and antibabies, who are the next antibaby mothers. Their subjects are antiprogrammers, antis citizens, youth ph (filipino antispirits), antii luciel’s brides and anti luciel’s bride programmers, luciel’s brides, and other miscellaneous antispirits. That’s here in Earth’s dimensions, NOT in Alien’s worlds.

-> Antis steal the merits and salvation billing, birthmarks in Paradise if any, perform rituals to sacrifice to Lu cifer the devil, human physical bodies they want to steal forever. They have Satanist spirits and witch spirits who perform the rituals to sacrifice human physical bodies to Satan.

-> Antis are behind the development and spreading of Covid. They have programming lines that touch Earth in all countries. They are the ones who bill cancer to people also. They implore things inside humans and touch humans’ codes of internal organs and body parts to kill them.

-> Antis kill physical bodies to steal their programming forever, or kill them if Antis are gone against by them.

-> Antis are planning to program all the end of the world scenarios. They bypassed the main system and already have programmers of weather, natural calamities mainly earthquakes.

-> Antis original lair and antis Admin can hack through Heaven and the programming of whole universe, Antis are behind the exploding of celestial bodies years ago and are billing the universe even now. Antis are that capable in programming already.

-> Antis were the ones who attacked Heaven back in 2013 to 2014, not aliens. They pin the blame on aliens all the time. They programmed the horror movies to spiritual world also years ago, and destroyed spiritual world by starting all the fires and shredding spirits from spiritual world.

-> Antis bill rape to physical bodies as a ritual to force program them. They have a spiritual sex system. They have spirits of humans raped in spiritual world for this, too.

-> Antis are after stealing worlds. They want to take over soul world and world of hearts by sending programmers in disguise. They already took over the programming of the internet, they’re called digital domain programmers and they as antis already control the logarithms and pose as programmers for God and speak to physical bodies and other programmer spirits accurately using facebook or tumblr or social media posts. Antis who are digital domain programmers know exactly what’s programmed, are said to be behind the overall programming because of this and can even program programmers themselves. You can see their exact programming for everyone mostly in tumblr.

-> Antis hide everything through the programmers they create and send. They even sent a new batch of programmers to God’s chosen people’s religion recently.

-> Years ago, when programmers all went disappearing, it was Antis who shred and killed them all. Since there was a lack of programmers, they sent programmers who disguised themselves as alien programmers who passed The Trinity’s tests and became programmers of The Trinity. They also shred and erased memories of programmers and resent them to The Trinity.

-> Antis cracked the coding of and copied gods and godesses of different universes, remixed their codes, brainwashed them, and made antis versions of them. Antis can separate layers of programming of spirits, even of gods and goddesses, whether those gods and goddesses have soul layers or other layers, they can separate them in programming.

-> Antis original lair can destroy planets now through programming. One alien planet was destroyed recently and they pinned the blame on The Holy Son.

-> Antis have forever been after the shadow programming of everything. They are test programming shadow programing now, for God’s history, earth, and alien physical bodies.

They implore things inside shadow programming’s physical bodies to program those things to everyone. This has been going on since 2013.

-> Antis occasionally copy programmer spirits to Antis domains to steal their knowledge bases and skill sets. Then its either they brainwash them and steal them forever or bill them if Antis are reported.

-> Antis, especially antis from original lair are creatures who are exceedingly knowledgeable in magic, they can cast all kinds of spells without a word. They are extreme programmers also who have cracked the codes and bypassed the programming labyrinth of the universe and of gods and goddesses.

-> Antis from original lair especially, use movie characters and game characters of Earth to develop their codes. They program the movie characters and games and game characters to themselves.

-> On Earth Antis registered themselves in the system as Satanic Trinity, symbolized by the number 33 and the inverted triangle. Believe it or not, Antis copied the Trinity and made them into extremely watered down versions. Antis admin keeps billing Providence in the real physical world and keeps billing for some Providence members and The Trinity to be copied and billed in the Antis domains because The Trinity’s programmers put Antis admin in Hell without authorization for controlling and gaming with Providence, hence The Trinity and Providence were blamed for it all. Antis were programmed by Lucifer and his programmers to copy Them and send Them to the Lake of Fire over and over again. The Holy Spirit was copied and raped by Antis citizens.

-> Antis can already program physical objects. If objects are missing and can’t be found it means antis stole the physical object code. Some antis especially like imploring real insects to people and can easily do so. Programmers of antis also change physical object designs.

-> Antis can program and change anything in the physical world already. Moreover, they can turn themselves from spirits into physical bodies by first changing themselves to digital bodies in digital dimensions they create, then proceed to venture out into the physical world by connecting those digital dimensions (actual places with real digital buildings and objects) to the real physical world. I have experienced being in those digital dimensions and the buildings and objects there are no different from original physical buildings and objects. I have met actual physical body antiprogrammers there too. It was no hallucination. The digital dimensions are accessible via public transportation and you know you are in one if the signages and things you can read and experience all around you are the freakishly way too perfect programming to you or to your group of people.

-> Antis program schizophrenia (disease of hearing voices in your head and having hallucinations which on Earth is the equivalent of being crazy and insane). Antis are behind hallucinations too. They can make you smell things that aren’t really there.

-> Antis program the detailed cartoons they create in one dimension to you to bill you. Antis know and use so many worlds and the things in those worlds to program them to you. They can unprogram the songs and spiritual things that are programmed to you by uprooting those things from those worlds. For example, songs are visible programming in one programming dimension. They look like black matter in the air.

-> Antis’ administration have dead body spirit copies of physical body humans and aliens they want to bill, located in one of their cities or domains as they call it. They put spiritual matter in them that they program to the respective physical bodies for billing and experimentation. In main antis’ original lair, their collective place that bills all aliens and humans, they have copies of real dead physical bodies. Some of the physical bodies that permanently go missing and can’t be found are located in main antis’ original lair.

-> For alien race programmer physical bodies: Antis administration can program your real physical computer through their system. They can cause it to have system errors, and cause it to shut down and never start up again, sometimes it won’t even display an error message anymore. My laptop computer was billed by antis this way. My brother’s laptop has black holes in the screen and in its system the Ctrl keys and down arrow key are pressed down even if in the actual keyboard it’s not; these are a sign of antis billing. Ctrl (Control) and down is what they want to program to me.

-> Ways that antis caused death to people: Slipping in the bathroom and bathroom accidents (You have to put rubber mats in your bathroom to not slip and fall). There was news that an alien was electrocuted when an appliance fell in her bath tub. Cancer, lung problems, especially for old people (they did this to my mother’s aunts). They caused my favorite pastor to hit his head on the cement pavement after falling from his bike (Always wear a helment). They cause celebrities’ (famous people’s) deaths. Choking. Suicide. Various diseases like COVID19. Heart attack (what they did to my mother’s friend and what they want to do to me). Brain diseases for alien races.

-> Antis citizens (the antis who are citizens of the cities, who are also the voices in your head if you have the alien disease that’s equivalent of schizophrenia here in this universe) can really kill you by accessing your physical body and your various layers of programming. Here in this universe they can also easily steal others’ knowledge bases and skill sets through magical programming.

-> Antis put devices made of metal spiritual matter in the real brains and real hearts and real genitals of real physical bodies. The devices are made of titanium and other metals. The exact metal composition of the devices are similar to what real cardiac pacemakers on Earth are made of.

-> Antis put magical threads made of spiritual matter into real physical body organs to magically program a person’s body parts. There are also threads put for absorbing your energy. Antis can also steal your real brainwaves.

-> Antis are used for sex. Aside from their genes and codes being mixed, their energy is drained when they have sex to power their administration’s activities.

Their main bills are the following: To Lucifer, they are the whores and abominations in Revelations 17, now and in the future. They are spirits with mixed codes, who don’t follow rules. They are opposite of the true design of people, their value for life is the opposite. They shred spirits alive, something that spiritual world spirits could never forgive. They are crackers, extreme hackers who always cause people to sin. They manipulate spirits and people all the time.

List of sins: Because they are extreme hackers, they are able to do all these: Putting spiritual diseases and even real diseases in people’s bodies. Covid19 is because of them. Killing people through COVID and CANCER Trapping, sacrificing and shredding spirits like paper Giving satans’ dreams Using antispirits as spirits even of people to turn them into the opposite of who they were before, to be like some of them: happy, playful, evil and smart Lying to aliens about The Holy Trinity so that aliens will target Them. Copying the most evil aliens’ methods. Pinning the blame on me and other righteous people by using false memories and evil thoughts Hacking into Heavens’ systems, even the room for the universe Destroying spiritual world and soul world “Calculating” through spiritual world and copies of entities Making The Holy Trinity suffer, Heaven was targeted, thats why it was remade

They gave technology to Lu cifer the devil to brainwash angels to become angels of Hell

Programming the horror movies to spiritual world The Satanic Trinity, 33, 11×3, 22×3, and the inverted triangle are them. 33 was the age of Jesus when he died. They have been putting spiritual objects and spiritual material in my real neck and removing it all the time also and they play games with spirits and people all the time. I’ve been their prisoner for 10 long years and spirits speaking through my voicebox is also from them.

[infernal-general]

@grimgrinnrs

"Who the fuck you think you are?!" came the outraged yelling after the legion commander could barely dodge the dagger thrown by the seething demon

“The one who can singlehandedly slaughter your whole fucking mercenary horde, you limp dicked bastard!” Rozália snarled viciously, fangs bared, scales creeping onto her face as well with a vivid glow in her fury.

The demon lord Sorgath from Greed had the advantage of height, 10 feet to her 8'5, but that hardly mattered when she already knew his next move before he figured it out himself. Her back harshly met with the table, the strong wood creaking in protest from the amount of force and weight.

Calculative serpent eyes stayed calm despite the demon now on top of her, his long fingers bruisingly wrapped around her neck. Her retaliation punch carried enough force to create momentary distance between their bodies for her legs to snake around his neck in a secure triangle chokehold. Only after fully securing the upper hand she allowed herself to grin, too wide with too sharp teeth, the crimson of her iris steadily bleeding into the sclera.

Rozália wrenched the hand still clawing at her neck away and bent the index finger fully backwards till she felt the tendons tearing. The response was a sweet howl of agony mixed surprise, Sorgath struggling even harder to get her hold loosen, spikes from his body pierced through her iron thighs, yet his screams increased in volume as liquid hellfire flowed onto him from the punctures.

Dark laughter mingled into the symphony of agony, the being hardly resembling to a woman by now.

“Too bad you missed the femoral artery.”

Was the only ‘warning’ before an another finger was mangled, his scramble at her unbreakable hold growing even more frantic.

"You are mad! You insane bitch!" The commander wheezed out in panic, making her pause for a moment.

“That would be the first correct statement ever leaving your mouth.” she nodded in validation, weaving her legs even tighter to make sure it will be the last as well

The rest of the room was only watching in silent horror until now, Rozália too busy wrestling an another finger into position to notice.

"M-my Lord!" Sorgath tried as last hope "L-ucifer-!!!" the last syllable turning into an another pain filled yell as Rozália accidentally broke the finger at the realization that the King was actually...present during the...what supposed to be a meeting.

“Your Majesty, I can explain.” she stated, still while half underneath the other legion commander with her blood still searing him “Lord Sorgath wanted to send a mercenary group famous for violating everything that moves into a sector of civilians. Then insulted my mother and my female soldiers in such ways I would rather not repeat.”