patheticandmiserable

[patheticandmiserable]

Hey guys!

So, I am NOT a writer, but I’ve had an idea for a story in my head for a long time. It has just lived in my head for years, but now that I’ve discovered snzblr, I figure you folks may be intrigued. My idea is a bit long, so it’s under the cut. It’s not fully fleshed out, but if a writer on here wanted to run with it, that would be amazing. Either way, just thought I’d share.

So A is a very shy person, and is horrified by the idea of sneezing in public. This is unfortunate because they are allergic to oh-so-many things, and has a highly sensitive nose in general. They are so desperate for a solution that they see a hypnotist (or a witch/wizard/sorcerer/I dunno I'm not a writer), and the hypnotist (person) rigs it so that they can stop any oncoming sneeze by simply gently rubbing the tip of their nose. The catch is that for each sneeze that was stopped, the sneeze carries over to any subsequent sneeze AND makes them sneezes more forcefully. So if they stop one sneeze, but not the next, their next sneeze will be a harsh double. If they stop 5 sneezes in a row, then that next one will be a fit of six, and they will really rock their socks off!

Now, A has the kink, and so they realized that by stopping their sneezes throughout each day meant that they could indulge each night - what a perfect scenario! Except that due to some circumstance (work retreat, camping trip w/friends, something?), they were unable to indulge for about a week. Upon returning home, A felt nervous about letting themself sneeze ever again, as the fit would be impossibly long and extremely forceful. So A sadly resigned to never sneezing again - to forever stop each sneeze by rubbing their nose.

Then A meets B. A and B fall in love. B also has the kink, and LOVES how often A rubs their cute little nose, but A and B are each unaware of their shared connection in that sense.

A and B are being playful in the bedroom, and B has A's wrists tied to the bedpost (consensually of course). B is wearing a cologne that is pretty bothersome to A's nose, but their hands aren't free. Despite how much they twitch and wriggle their nose, they know that's not enough - they MUST rub it to stop the impending fit. They’ve lost count of how many sneezes they’ve stopped over time because it MUST be in the thousands. And they can't even begin to imagine how strong each sneeze will be. A tells B, "I need my hands... I'm gonna sneeze." This is music to B's ears, and B playfully teases A, unaware of the severity of their situation. B does not comply with A’s request for their hands. You can imagine the fallout after that...

Anyhow, is that anything? Anybody? Thoughts? Writers?

This has been in my head for years, and I thought that this would be the perfect place to share. Let me know your thoughts!

[patheticandmiserable]

[patheticandmiserable]

i need reassurance that im not the only ace/aspec person whose entire idea of sexuality was misshapen by this fetish like.

[patheticandmiserable]

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

[patheticandmiserable]

two warriors with a playful rivalry thing going on sparring and one tweaks the others nose in a "you let your guard down, look how close i can get without taking a hit" way and they Immediately sneeze like fully into their hand

[patheticandmiserable]

Shame And Hiss-fortune - Haz/bin Ho/tel

why yes there is a pun in that title and i regret absolutely nothing (shoutout to @maladyinpink for helping me come up with this particular title!)

The fourth instalment of the oneshot series, and probably one of my personal faves!

lil note whilst i have you here - the next one may take a while to write as i for some ungodly reason didn't choose to write them in chronological order, but i had the first four done already

In which a serpentine inventor battles with conflicting feelings - and his attempts to distract himself don't exactly go as planned.

Sir Pentious should have been more than used to the feeling of embarrassment. After all, he'd had his scaly backside kicked seven ways from Sunday on many an occasion, not to mention his tendency to simply say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

But even his most humiliating defeat, his most devastating social faux-pas, paled in comparison to the jittering feeling of excitement and shame that coursed through him as soon as he realised what was going on throughout the hotel.

Above anything else, he felt conflicted.

His shoulders were tensed up in a kind of anticipation, and everything in him was burning with a blush creeping across his features—

“Hihh-TSSsshh’ieh! Ihgk’SSSHhhiew! Oooh, Lord above…”

— only exacerbated by the feathering tickle in his sinuses that came and went in waves.

He’d been through this before, like everyone else in Hell, but had always put that strange feeling in the pit of his stomach when it happened down to his pride - and maybe a part of it was just that, a simple case of being knocked off one’s high horse.

But there was something quite other than that as well, a pleasure he wasn’t entirely used to - mingled inextricably with a sense of profound self-consciousness.

He was holding his quill in one hand, idly rotating it between his fingers, a monogrammed black and gold handkerchief in the other, with his journal laying open at a blank - if weathered - page beside him on the desk.

Pentious stared down at the book, his pulse racing, as he tried to turn his thoughts into coherent words, but he couldn’t even bring himself to put quill to paper—

The sound of steady, click-clack-ing footsteps from outside the door prompted him to slam his journal shut.

It was the quiet, yet distinctly staticky fit of half-stifled sneezes that accompanied the Radio Demon’s steps that made Pentious turn his head to face the door, suddenly listening intently.

The lights in his room flickered for a moment.

As the footsteps receded, Pentious got up from his desk.

He opened his door, clutching the leather-bound book to his chest, and walked down to his workshop - perhaps he’d have an easier time concentrating on something - anything - if he could guarantee he wouldn’t be disturbed. Besides, he had been meaning to finish designing that waterproof toaster…

The door to the workshop closed with a clang, followed by a lengthy series of clicks as Pentious locked it.

His workshop reflected his aesthetic in many subtle ways - dark wooden furniture bolted together with tarnished brass rivets, mis-matched handles on the drawers of the large, battered-looking desk near the right-hand wall, and a lop-sided light fixture hanging in a way that looked more precarious than it actually was, with old filament bulbs giving the room a warm glow. Hooks on the wall held an assortment of tools, an oil-stained apron, and a pair of goggles with dark, round lenses.

He approached the desk, which still had blueprints on it from months ago - I really must organise things around here, he thought—

“HHPT’ssshhiieh!”

That one had snuck up on him with very little warning.

He gave a sniffle and sat down, absent-mindedly shuffling the ink-stained sheets of graph paper.

Just then, he heard a muffled “Heghtt’schmmff-!” followed by a loud crash that sounded like several objects falling over, and a string of frustrated muttering. He just about caught “fucking hell” and “swear to the goddamn stars- snf- I am done with this”.

Pentious straightened.

He couldn’t suppress the look of pained sympathy on his face; His Majesty was suffering, after all. But all the same, he had to admire the king’s determination to dampen the harsh, probably even painful expulsions.

He slowly approached the door that connected his workshop to Lucifer’s own - as awkward as he felt, he knew he had to see, or even hear this up close for himself.

He cracked the door open ever-so-slightly, trying to calm himself enough to speak.

“Ehm…” Pentious began, not daring to peer through the gap in the doorway just yet, “Bless you, Sssire.”

“GAH—! Dammit, Pen, don’t scare me like that!” Lucifer shouted, making the inventor flinch.

Silence, for a moment, before Lucifer took two steps towards the door.

“Sorry, I’mb just- snrff— ugh, ’scuse me. Can’t get anything done like thi-hiIHh— hhgh… Like this,” he apologised, scrubbing at his nose.

“Ah, yes, I’ve also been finding it… difficult to focus…” Pentious trailed off, feeling his heartbeat quicken, noticing the cold-blooded flush arising within him…

That peculiar feeling - a knot of fervent anxiety in his chest mixed with a sinking sensation - when he heard Lucifer starting to hitch again.

“Eh-huhht… Againd, rea- hihh- really-? Ih’HIH—”

Pentious felt his whole body tensing up, as the ruler’s uneven, frankly theatrical gasps built to the inevitable.

He looked through the small gap into the next room, and his eyes fell on Lucifer leaning back, bracing himself with one arm against the desk, his eyes shut tightly.

“IEHDT’shhHIEW!” Lucifer snapped in half at the waist, a shower of shimmering golden sparkles lightly dusting the desk - and his jacket.

“Ohh, my goodnessss…” Pentious whispered, raising a hand to his mouth in a stunned, awestruck sort of way, as Lucifer waved a hand to summon a fresh polka-dotted hanky from the ether.

“Hhgk-IIESCHhhmmf! Hh- hAH— Hhh’ASHhhieww! ’TSCHhhew, ISHhh’hew, IhHIESHhheew! Oh, sndff—! Golly, excuse me, Pentious, I just ca- hhehtTISHHhiue! Hyehh— IHTDSCHhhew! Ohhhh fu- huhHH- AEGT’ISSHHh-yiiew! Aughhh, fugck…”

As the smoke cleared - in a far more literal sense than Lucifer had hoped - Pentious ducked behind the door again.

He went back to his desk, murmuring a shaky blessing that he sincerely hoped Lucifer would read as startled more than enticed by what he’d just witnessed.

Holding his quill in a trembling hand, he began to write in a spiky, hastily-scrawled cursive.

“Words escape me…”

He stopped, feeling a faint, irritating tickle ignite at the back of his nasal passages.

His breath stuttered with soft, hissing hitches.

He rubbed at his nose, hoping to either quell the itching sensation or coax it forward, but it wouldn’t budge an inch in either direction.

“Ihh… hIHhh… Oh- snf-! Damn and blast…” he groused in frustration. He ached for some semblance of reprieve from the infuriating state of limbo he found himself in - curse it all, he’d almost be willing to rummage through that dusty old crate in the lost-and-found in the hopes of just getting it over with…

A flash of inspiration sparked in his mind, like the striking of a match.

His eyes drifted to the old feather quill in his hand.

He held it not quite at arm’s length from his face, considering it at a distance. It was sleek, yet decently flexible, and a light, ashy grey.

Am I really about to do this…? Pentious asked himself.

He took a slow breath, feeling it fluttering in his chest, soft hitches rising - and once again slowing to a halt.

He steeled his resolve, and raised the quill to his face, brushing the feather across sensitive nostrils with light, delicate movements. It was a dance, of sorts - his every instinct told him to stop before he embarrassed himself altogether, but his overwhelming yearning for relief spurred him onward, and oh, how close he was—

“Hh’ihht… iehh-?”

A final, twirling flick of the feather, and he gave a shuddering, desperate gasp.

“Hh-heih—! Ihh’sssSSHEW! Oh-! Ohhhh hea-hehh-heavensss- ’TSSsschiih! Iehht’SSSHIEW! Ihh-IPTsssshhiew!” The engineer dropped his quill, bending at the waist in his chair as his efforts came to fruition. It seemed to have worked a little too well, though; he could scarcely get a breath in between the vocal, ticklish sneezes that tore out of him.

“Ngh- snff, ugh…” He retrieved his handkerchief from his pocket, hitching into the patterned linen as his heart leapt in time with the rise and fall of his narrow chest, “HuhUHTSSSschh-sshhiew—! IEGHK-EHsshh’uh! F-fuck, it itchesss- iihh— Ah-hahHH- AGKT’SSSHhhiew! HihhTSSSh’ssshhiue! Oh, mby- snnff, my goodness gracioussss…”

He blew his nose, sighing a low, shivering sigh as he withered a little in his chair - the fit had taken an awful lot out of him, being frail at the best of times.

“Jeez, bless you,” came Lucifer’s muffled voice, “That sounded like it hurt.”

Pen snapped upright, a mortified look on his face; he had completely forgotten Lucifer was in the next room, an entire wall away from him.

His hood flared out behind him, and he made a high-pitched, indeterminate noise of surprise mingled with an all-encompassing desire to simply evaporate on the spot.

He would write about this some other time, but right now, Sir Pentious twirled a pencil between trembling fingers, trying to convince himself that Lucifer hadn’t just heard his utter misery.

[patheticandmiserable]

h. how the fuck did they get it to work??? Keys are kinda big? And hard??

Some people just shove random things in there???

I need to get off instagram reels because I just saw someone induce with a car key? Just like, nothing to do with the caption, no explanation or offered context other than “stirring my brain” ????????? Is inducing just a thing that people do for fun that I haven’t heard about until now what the hell is going on

????!?!?!?!

[patheticandmiserable]

Hey it’s the alcohol snz anon again - first I wanted to say thank you so much for the advice! Your snz writing tips are always top tier ☺️Secondly, I was thinking of asking for more advice (unrelated to the alcohol snz request) if you don’t mind… this time I’m thinking about harsh/painful stifles. Like someone who usually has a fairly loud/strong sneeze (think like a “hHRUSCHhoo!”) now trying to keep them contained for whatever reason, whether through pinching their nose shut or sheer willpower

Woah, it’s been a minute! Sorry, anon…

Hard consonants are your friend! And if the sneezes are powerful, it’s less likely that the stifle will “stop” immediately. Or rather, the release will be more elongated.

For example, if they are stifling through their teeth, you will get a long “CHHHHH!” at the end. This is usually preceded by a “k” as they go from an open, hitching mouth to a quickly closed one: “KCHHHH!”

Now, if they are pinching their nose shut, that’s a more complex sound. For a powerful sneeze (or really any sneeze), it will result in an “HIT” or “MMM” sound in the beginning as they try to stave off a sneeze (depending on if they open or close their mouth, respectively). For a normal sneeze, you will probably get a “KSH!” or “KIK!” ending (depending on open mouth with clenched teeth or closed lips).

However, for a bigger sneeze, a pinched nose will not be enough. This can have two results.

If the lips are pursed, sound will come through the lips with a long “p” sound: “MMM’PPPPSH!” You can add a “chiew” or whatever release of your choice if this stifle fails.

If the nose is pinched, but the teeth are just clenched, you will probably get a shorter, hard consonant sound from the back of the throat: “KKKTCH!” It isn’t a natural stifle, but it can be done if the sneeze sneaks up on them!

I hope this is helpful! I’m a little rusty at these…

[patheticandmiserable]

A villain with a cold having to stop their evil activities until they get better, but they have to keep angrily reminding people — through rough coughs and sneezes — that they’re not redeemed, just taking a break.

Even better if being cared for by their nemeses is making it harder to stand their ground…

[patheticandmiserable]

Actual conversation I had with a very attractive vanilla friend today: Them: The pollen count is SO HIGH! Snzfucker Brain: Yes, and it is DELIGHTFUL. Me: I hadn't noticed. I don't have allergies. Them: Don't you wonder what it feels like? Snzfucker Brain: Omg, how can you ask me such a PROFANELY PERSONAL QUESTION?? Me: . . . what. Them: To have allergies. Don't you wonder? Snzfucker Brain: THIS IS A TRAP! THIS IS A TRAP!!! Me: Not . . . really? Them: -proceeds to describe it in lurid, explicit, excruciatingly cheerful detail whilst TOUCHING MY GODDAMN ARM- Snzfucker Brain: ABORT!!! ABORT!!! Me: I'm late. Them: Oh no! For what? Snzfucker Brain: Lie QUICKLY, you bastard! Me: It's a thing. Bye. Don't be jealous of the fact that I'm a total scholar.

[patheticandmiserable]

reblog if you’re okay with people writing fanfics of your fanfics and/or fanfics inspired by your fanfics

[patheticandmiserable]

It sucks when you want snz content for a fandom that doesn't have anyone who makes it

like what do you mean I have to write this myself in order to fulfill my dreams

[patheticandmiserable]

Mean Girl Sneezes

I haven't ever seen a legitimate bully sneeze, or even be prideful about sneezing. We need to change that.

Maybe a mean girl that peaked, and makes a habit of either alerting she has allergies or just being so stubborn that she'll just sneeze herself into denial. I don't know...

Might wanna humble the Alpha Bitch about allergies, and that it's totally okay to sneeze.

Maybe a villainous woman who denies she has allergies, or just says "Hero, I'm ALLERGIC to X!" And she sneezes into submission.

I need more sneezy antagonists.

Sneezy mean girls.

Sneezy evil bosses.

Sneezy mad scientists.

Gimme ALL the villains.

[patheticandmiserable]

So I've been in a fandom ever since... *checks calendar* the year 2000 (offline before I even knew what a fandom was and just exchanged bad fanfic with my one irl friend who liked the same series) and 2002 (online, the year we got a computer with internet access I was allowed to use).

This fandom was old even as I got into it and I still hold it very dearly in my heart, but it's just too embarrassingly old to openly discuss it nowadays.

Which prompted my question: Do you have fandoms you love and would love to gush about and write 1000 snz and sickfics for, but just.. never do because it's so fucking niche?

[patheticandmiserable]

Fantasizing abt being pampered and taken care of when sick is so appealing to me bc it feels like something I can’t have irl.

I don’t need to be cared for and comforted; I’m a pretty healthy person, but even if I do, I don’t have time for all that. I see posts abt what ppl do to make themselves comfortable when they’re sick and I go “huh. couldn’t be me” and that’s why imaging someone doing those things to me is so attractive, bc what do mean you’re willing to show me such love and care when I don’t even treat myself that well?

[patheticandmiserable]

Giving my main OCs alignments based on this post by @oh-no-my-hand-slipped except I’m not giving away the OCs’ names

⚜️: Varies wildly depending on her mood and who she’s around. She could be any of the goods, lawful neutral, or true neutral. Probably leans towards neutral, because she’s bad at taking care of herself. Chaotic evil when in a fight.

🌌: Mostly neutral good, maybe lawful or true neutral if it’s something minor. He prioritizes doing what feels good, but not at the cost of looking weak or falling behind at his job. Would love to be neutral evil if he could get away with it.

⚔️: Chaotic good/neutral depending on who he’s talking to. Will become lawful neutral if someone he’s close to is taking care of him. He won’t miss work if he can help it, but won’t put himself in danger.

🤍: Neutral good, but becomes chaotic good if he has important plans.

🐺: Could be any of the neutrals, depending on how serious the illness is. I think he tends towards true neutral—he’s not so egotistical that he’ll make his illness worse, but he tries to push through it as much as he can.

💜: Lawful evil if she can find a willing caretaker, otherwise lawful neutral. Willing to go chaotic evil on someone she doesn’t like.

♠️: Mostly lawful neutral with a little bit of chaotic good tendencies. She’s still unlearning the “if I can’t work, I’m a failure” mindset and learning to prioritize her own health over productivity.

[patheticandmiserable]

Eyebags becoming more pronounced when the person starts coming down with a cold. They sleep just as much as usual, don't feel tired (yet), and everyone asking if they feel alright makes no sense to them. Perhaps even annoys them, if they are self-conscious about looking perpetually exhausted.

And then they catch a glimpse of their reflection and groan - because they know what is in store for two weeks at minimum, and they will look even worse when the real symptoms start.