#kyle rewatches doctor who
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cloysterbell · 1 year ago
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Yes okay Doctor Who S6 is very hit or miss, true, but there's no denying that Matt puts his whole ass into his performance as the Doctor
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nicascurls · 6 months ago
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Just subjected my mother to this rant, so now you guys are going to hear it as well:
I've recently been watching (or rewatching in my mother's case) American Horror Story. I had seen parts of various seasons before but not all the way through. I just wanted to clarify that to make the point that I was aware of the general tone and severity of the show. I had seen some comparisons to how Don has gone 'too American Horror' in the show, and I understood the comparison but didn't realise how damn close.
I'm towards the end of Season 6 right now (Roanoke), and I have noticed blatant parallels between events on AHS and how the legacy characters have been treated in Chucky.
1. Nica's dismemberment (and arguably her treatment in Cult as well). In Asylum there is the Nazi Doctor guy (I can't remember his name) Who repeatedly sexually assaulted patients, much like Foley did to Nica in Cult of Chucky, and also imprisoned and dismembered a patient. Once again, a strong parallel to Tiffany dismembering and imprisoning Nica.
2. Andy's imprisonment with the colonel in Season 2. Where he was imprisoned and cannibalised over the span of a year, similar to how the Polk family in Roanoke imprisoned people before eating parts of their body.
3. Kyle losing her ear in the explosion. Whilst the way the ear was lost is different in this example, it just feel like the significance of two characters losing their left ear and there being a certain focus on it is strange. There was the close-up shot of Kyle as she showed the prosthetic to Nica and Glenda in Chucky whilst there is a close-up shot Lee's ear being put in a jar in Roanoke.
Now, here's the point I want to make, the issue I have is not necessarily what happens on its own, but in the context of the different shows.
American Horror Story, especially now, is so well known that you have a degree of understanding when it comes to what to expect. You know it's going to be dark, and you also know that it will impact the characters, and no one is safe because it's a different story every season. You know there will be the trauma and the effects of that because it's not something that has to be continued in the next season.
However, with Chucky, this isn't the case. This is a continuous story that has been going for over 35 years now. Plus, the series was never intended to be that dark. There is supposed to be comedy, and it's supposed to be camp, and if dark shit happens, it usually happens to minor characters or additional antagonists.
That's why this level of horror doesn't work. Not only is it the fact that this is happening to legacy characters who fans have grown to love and root for over years, it's the fact that the actual trauma they have experienced is just glossed over or played off basically as a joke.
It just doesn't work, and it's one of the main issues I have with the show as a whole. It also feels kinda disrespectful that the legacy characters who have been surving this stuff for years suffer with this whilst the teens who seem to NEVER LEARN from their experiences manage to escape similar fates every time (because honestly, we all know the teens will be out of those dolls by the end of 4x01 if the show gets renewed)
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bobafett · 7 months ago
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stealing this because the boops made me realize how much i miss tag games.
How many works do you have on AO3? A grand total of 14. I am not a prolific writer.
What’s your total AO3 word count? 63,880. Please see above answer.
What fandoms do you write for? Batman and Star Wars. I have a little bit of Supernatural fic posted on an alt account, and I've been turning over an idea for an OW fic in my head for a while, but it takes me a long time to figure out how to write in a fandom in a way that still captures the "vibes" of the source material (which is always one of my goals). So I rarely branch out.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos? New Cornerstone (suitless!Vader AU from a million years ago), Brothers in Arms (Jon starts to get an inkling that his best friend has perhaps not had a normal childhood), Setting the Bone (Selina Kyle: reluctant parental figure), In This Twilight (Damian and Jason brotherly bonding, first batfam fic I ever wrote), and Try to Sweep the Darkness Out (batfam Christmas special that I've almost orphaned 10 times because I hate the writing choices I made in it so much). None of the fics I'm actually proud of are on this list. Tragic.
Do you respond to comments? Irregularly and unpredictably! I will if I feel like I have something to say and it catches me in the right mood.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uh, that would be High Water Mark since it starts with a scene of Cody contemplating suicide and ends with the instant right before Order 66 kicks in.
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Problem Solving since it's the only fic I've ever written where I was actually trying to be light hearted.
Do you get hate on fics? Never, thankfully.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I thought I could do it successfully, I would. But I'm not, so I don't.
Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Basically never. There is a Doctor Who/Sherlock fic buried on my old FF.net account. There's also a Super Smash Bros fic on there that I wrote in 2009, which I suppose also counts.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? I can't imagine why anyone would.
Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, and I never would. I'm too much of a control freak about my writing. Writing, say, shared universe stuff might be fun, but actually co-authoring something would drive me nuts.
What’s your all time favorite ship? What a question. I come back to Jaime/Brienne a lot for reading, but I don't think I'd ever write it. I write a ton of BatCat, but rarely read it because I'm particular. I like Lois/Clark, but I almost never write OR read it. I'm honestly not very ship motivated. Most of the time I filter for a ship because I'm in the mood for its attendant tropes, and if the writing is good, you can sell me on just about anything.
What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Hmngh. New Cornerstone again. There's 20k of an expanded version of it on my hard drive that I haven't added to since probably 2017. There's something very fun about suitless!Vader as a character because he's such a sparking, destructive livewire of a person, but also I'm experienced enough now to realize how difficult doing justice to that premise is. Also, I'd have to rewatch TCW to get Ahsoka's voice down, and I just don't got time for that shit.
What are your writing strengths? Description and sense of place. Also pretty good at dialogue.
What are your writing weaknesses? Fucking. Long fic. Plot in general. I'm horrifically bad at it.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm usually inclined to keep all my dialogue in English, but it would depend on the context and the effect I was going for.
First fandom you wrote for? Purposefully? Inuyasha. Without having any idea what fanfic was? I created an Artemis Fowl fairy OC and stuck her in Indiana Jones when I was 10 years old.
Favorite fic you’ve written? They Don't Sing Songs For Me. No contest. It's perfectly captures what I think is the ideal form of fanfic: two characters who have absolutely no business interacting with each other building a compelling relationship dynamic over the course of 9k words.
I will be tagging @panharmonium, @apostatefrog, @dead-ghost-walking, @ryehouses, @yellowocaballero, @lazuliquetzal. Also anyone else who wants to. I will bring back tag games by force of will, so help me God.
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typingtess · 8 months ago
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youtube
NCIS: Los Angeles Season 14 Rewatch:    “Body Stitchers”
The basics:  Alleged artists and confirmed killers the Body Stitchers are back.
Written by:  Adam G. Key & Frank Military
Adam George Key co-wrote "Monster" with Frank Military, "Searching" with Kyle Harimoto and “Land of Wolves” with Justin Kohlas.  Key also played LAPD Officer Harrison in four episodes in seasons 11 and 12.
Military wrote or co-wrote "Little Angels", "Deliverance", "Lockup", "The Job", "Greed", "Betrayal", "Crimeleon", "Vengeance", "Out of the Past" Part One, "Rude Awakenings" Part Two, season four’s finale "Descent", season five’s premiere "Ascension", "Allegiance", "Spoils of War", "Black Budget", "SEAL Hunter", "Rage", "Unspoken", "Unlocked Mind", "Revenge Deferred", "The Seventh Child", "Crazy Train", "Uncaged", "The Silo", "Monster", "Line in the Sand", season ten opener "To Live and Die in Mexico", "The Patton Project", "Better Angels", "False Flag", "A Bloody Brilliant Plan", "Code of Conduct" "Raising the Dead", "Through the Looking Glass", "Indentured" and “Down the Rabbit Hole”. 
He also appeared as Donald Kessler in "Raising the Dead" and several other episodes in photos.
Directed by:  Suzanne Saltz directed "Outside the Lines", "Murder of Crows", "Sundown" and “MWD”.
Guest stars of note:  Alicia Coppola as FBI Senior Special Agent Lisa Rand, Rob Nagle as Albert “Al” Barrington/Plague Doctor, Tobias Jelinek as Bobby Griffin/Wolf, Matt Kelly as Justin Tucker/Clown are all back from “Monster” - that delightful Easter Sunday season nine episode.  Teya Patt as Cindy Ferguson/Faceless Mask replaces Kerrie Blaisdell who played this role in “Monster”.  Richard Gant as Raymond Hanna is back from “Game of Drones”.  JD Cullum as FBI Forensic Psychologist Mark Collins, Derrick A. King as Michael Jeffries, Adrian Elizondo as Philip Guerrero and Antony Del Rio as Alexander Hughes.
Our heroes:  Try, try, try again.
What important things did we learn about:
Callen:  Away on assignment – he always misses these wacky Body Stitchers. Sam:  Pulled away from the case for a terrorist threat in San Pedro. Kensi:  Not thrilled to be dealing with Cindy Ferguson again.    Deeks:   Not thrilled by any of this. Fatima:   Working late. Rountree:   Heard about the Body Stitchers case in the Academy. Kilbride:  Wants the team to stop whining about losing the bad guys the first time and get them this time.
What not so important things did we learn about:
Callen:   Absent. Sam:   Cleaning up after Arkady in Sam’s own backyard. Kensi:    Working with Agent Rand for a lot of the episode. Deeks:   Working with Sam for a lot of the episode. Fatima:   In charge of freeing the Body Stitchers almost victim. Rountree:  Catches a Body Stitcher on his own. Kilbride:  Warns the team that they can help on this case as long as NCIS doesn’t need them.
Where in the world is Henrietta Lange?  No mention today.
Who's down with OTP:   Not a lot of OTP time today.
Who's down with BrOTP:  Not a BrOTP episode either.
Fashion review:   Black, long-sleeve tee for Sam.  Kensi has on a wine-colored long-sleeve v-neck tee.  Deeks wears a very pale blue/nearly grey henley.  Fatima is wearing a purple turtleneck.  Rountree has on a charcoal grey pullover sweater under a denim jacket with a leather collar.  Admiral Kilbride is in his usual three-piece suit with a pale blue dress shirt and a blue tie with a darker blue paisley tie.   
Music:   “Gravy Train” by Lettuce is playing while Raymond is having breakfast.
Any notable cut scene:   None today.
Quote:  Sam:  “I'm just a government employee.  Explain it to me.” Ferguson:  “He's a great master, like Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Renoir.  These humans who changed the world with their imagination and a pencil.” Sam:  “So Vincent is a master artist?” Ferguson:  “Yeah, Vincent, like Vincent van Gogh.  Uh... You know?” (mimics cutting her ear) Sam:  “Yeah.” Ferguson:  “He's the great master behind the bodies.  It's his vision.  We're just his apprentices, learning the art.” Sam:  “The art of sewing bodies together?” Ferguson:  “God. Isn't it beautiful?”
Anything else:    Lots of previously-s from “Monster”.  And the weirdos are back doing weirdo things.  This time with extra self-importance.
Raymond is having breakfast, listening to tunes when Sam walks in with a cigar butt.  Raymond feigns ignorance but there are four others in the backyard.  Raymond starts to call Callen – obviously an investigation must be started.  When told Callen is out of town, Raymond suggests bumping it up to the SecNav.  Seems the cigars don’t belong to Raymond – he doesn’t smoke.  But Arkady does.  Raymond made a friend not to Sam’s liking.  The family fun is interrupted by a call – Sam’s being called to the office.  Leaving, Sam bars Arkady from the house.
Rountree is waiting as Kensi walks into the office.  Agent Rand from the FBI called.  Kensi speaks highly of Rand and asks why Rand called.  Rountree tells her about the “legendary” case while he was in the Academy about killers who make Frankenstein monsters out of their victims.  There was scuttlebutt Rountree heard about another agency being involved in the case.  Kensi said they were all in a dark place after the case.
Up in Ops, Kensi and Rountree join Deeks and Fatima.  Agent Rand is on the big screen.  In a different Zoom box is Special Agent Zachary Collins from the BAU.  The FBI heard the group is back in LA.  Rand sends Fatima some pictures from a the “Body Stitchers” last crime scene.  It freaks Fatima out a little and Rand apologizes. 
Rountree asks for a motive.  Collins explains the killers think they are creating some kind of art and make money selling the event as art on the dark web.  The money gives the killers the freedom to move around largely undetected.  Collins thinks the motive is also sexual – the killers meshed violence and sex together as young people and are acting on it. 
The Body Stitchers have been seen in the US, Central and South America.  The FBI has gotten close several times but just missed.  Deeks asks why.  Collins tells the group – including an arriving Admiral Kilbride that the killers aren’t stupid.  They set up, do their thing and move on.  They avoid common ports of entry and regularly purchase new identities on the dark web.
The Admiral puts his foot down – this is not a military related action, the OSP’s involvement will be limited.  If NCIS needs the team or a team member, they’re out of the case.  Rand is fine with that – the OSP is the only agency ever to interact with the killers.  As advisors or part of the task force, the FBI wants NCIS to offer whatever they can.  Kensi tells the Admiral the case is unfinished business for the team.  No, it is unfinished business for the FBI, he replies.  Deeks brings up Lt. Commander Weir but Lt. Commander Weir was a random crime victim and not killed because of his service.  Kensi brings up how he was killed and the Admiral relents – NCIS will be mildly involved.  Rand is grateful. 
Sam, Kensi and Deeks arrive at the crime scene.  Rand is there with the dead guy and Collins from BAU.  Collins introduces himself as Mark Collins which is weird since he was Zachary Collins about five minutes ago.  Sam asks when did the FBI figure out the killers were back in LA.  Rand explains a woman named Staci Campbell was murdered.  Suspect Michael Jeffries got a text with photo of all the body parts used to sew the “art” together.  Sam notices freezer burn on the dead people’s shoulder.  That makes sense to Collins – if they don’t have enough parts to sew together, the killers have to preserve the parts they do have.
Kensi asks about Jeffries, who is in custody but there isn’t much to hold him.  He’ll likely be cut lose in a few hours since a judge turned down their warrant request to search Jeffries’s apartment.  He was only seen with the dead woman a few hours before her death – that’s not enough.  Sam, Deeks and Collins are off to interview Jeffries, Kensi and Rand are teaming up.
Just after the men leave, a young female FBI agent has something to show Kensi and Rand.  There was a locked room, now opened.  Inside are a lot of dead bodies.
While Collins is interviewing Jeffries in interrogation, Sam is in the main room of the boatshed talking about how the four people in the case lied right to his face.  They killed people and sewed them back together.  “And we had them.”   The Admiral arrives and wants Sam to stop “wallowing in the fact that you missed something” and tell him what Sam learned.
Sam said the killers knew exactly how to manipulate the investigation.  Deeks chimes in that the killings themselves, the planning, the execution – “the intelligence was off the charts.”  They did not present themselves as smart.  Collins joins the group.  Jeffries knows the FBI and NCIS have nothing so he’s going to be released soon.  Sam asks about Jeffries, who doesn’t really work, just short-sells stock online.  He has no connection to the killers, just lives in the same building as murder victim Staci Campbell.
Fatima pops up on the plasma to connect Kensi and Rand.  The only person to see Campbell and Jeffries together is the super in their share apartment building.  They are going over to interview the super now. 
The Admiral tells Sam and Deeks to remember who they are, put the past in the past and “get this thing done.” 
In interview, Deeks just stares across the table at Jeffries while Sam sits near the door.  Jeffries is about to speak when Sam tells him to “hold that thought.”  Deeks talks about the smell of the sea around them, the ocean breeze and how these things hide a cold, hard truth.  Jeffries tells them he did not kill Campbell.  They were neighbors but he never touched her.
That’s not the truth, Sam tells Jeffries.  Deeks explains that Jeffries is surrounded by frustrated and angry agents from several government agencies.  “We’re hungry and you’re the only thing on the menu,” Sam says.  Jeffries is keeping up – the kitchen is closed, he didn’t kill Campbell.  Deeks brings up his connection to the killers, killers who executed a member of the US Navy.  That’s federal lock-up. 
Sam pushes the idea that they have proof that Jeffries has provided financial assistance to the killers.  Jeffries admits he’s a fan – “people love true crime and serial killers.”   He though the body parts came from grave robberies or morgues.  He didn’t think they were being killed for the art.
Outside Jeffries’s apartment building, Kensi and Rand approach Phillip Guerrero, the super.  He’s trimming some hedges in the building’s courtyard.  He liked Campbell, “good tenant, nice girl.”  Guerrero saw Campbell and Jeffries walk into the courtyard.  They were chatting about food delivery people leaving too many menus by the mailbox area.  As the conversation goes on, Guerrero brings up “Mrs. Jeffries”.  Rand thinks wife but it actually Jeffries’s mother.  She’s in bad health – an invalid after a partial stroke a month ago.  Guerrero drops off food deliveries from time to time – he likes her.
There is no response from Mrs. Jeffries after they knock on the door.   Guerrero lets himself in to see if she’s OK.  While he’s looking around, Kensi checks in with Rountree.  He’s trying to chase the killer’s money but it all leads to offshore accounts which are dead ends.  As Rountree finishes, Guerrero runs from the apartment, horrified and unable to breathe.  Kensi and Rand enter the apartment.  They find Mrs. Jeffries in the bathtub.  Kensi and Rand flee the premises when they get a whiff of sulfuric acid fumes.
Outside, Kensi provides the team an update.  The building has been evacuated due to the health concerns around sulfuric acid.  Guerrero breathed in too much and is getting treated.  Kensi assures everyone she and Rand ran out as soon as they understood what was in the air.  Collins notes that sulfuric acid is easy to find so tracing its purchase will be tough.  This fact annoys Sam. 
A titanium knee pretty much identifies the woman in the bathtub as Mrs. Jeffries.  Collins offers the idea that Jeffries killed her because she had incriminating info on her son.  This doesn’t work for Rand.  Based on the lack of damage to the bathtub, Mrs. Jeffries is likely dead only 12-hours.  Jeffries has been in custody for over a day.
Sam, Deeks and Collins ask Jeffries about his mother, why he didn’t mention an older, sick woman alone in his apartment while he was in custody.  Sam tells Jeffries his mother is dead and he seems genuinely surprised. 
Jeffries blames Collins for his mother’s death.  The killers would know the Feds were in town while they were planning their show.  He had a ticket to go but couldn’t because he was in custody.  The killer thought he was selling them out and since they couldn’t kill him, they killed his mother as a message.  Collins thinks Jeffries’s mother knew he killed Campbell and he paid someone to kill his mother.  Jeffries is willing to trade info on the dark web he has about the show for witness protection.
Rountree gets to the Body Stitchers’s website on the dark web.  It’s been cleaned out but they access to the e-mail server and will be able to track the killers to their next website.  Kensi calls in with Rand.  Mrs. Jeffries right hand was sawed off before she was put in the acid bath. 
Fatima found the new website with a new live video going out shortly.  Everything is password protected but she’s working her way in.  In the live stream, everything is set up but nobody is there.  The stream is coming from an abandoned movie theater in Woodland Hills. 
As the team is about to leave, a terrorist warning come in based on an OSP case in San Pedro.  The Admiral has to send something to deal with San Pedro since it is an NCIS priority.  Sam goes.  Deeks and Collins are off to Woodland Hills. 
Kensi, Deeks, Rountree and Fatima pull up with Rand and Collins leading the FBI.  SWAT is on their way but not expected for 30-minutes.  The teams can’t wait and enter the theater.   There are 16-theaters.  Everyone breaks off to clear their own theaters.  Fatima and Rountree are in five, Kensi is in theater six.  Deeks enters a theater on his own.  He’s worried the place is too big – too many places to hide.  He starts looking around as one of the FBI agents notes the comms in the theater barely work.
Outside of theater seven, Rand find the group at theater eight.  Kensi and Collins are on their way.   A shot is fired during the “art” event, dropping one of the killers on the stage.  Rand is as surprised as the killers.  She yells FBI and seems stunned that everyone runs.  One of the killers, Barrington, is chased by the young FBI agent who showed the team the dead bodies earlier in the episode.  Barrington drops his knife in his right hand but has a really small boxcutter in his left palm.  When the FBI agent tries to cuff the killer, he stabs her in the throat just as Collins arrives.  As Barrington flees, Collins calls for an EMT.
The young agent claims she’s fine so Collins goes after Barrington.  In a hallway, he runs into Deeks.  The two startle the hell out of each other.  They search as a team for Barrington.
In the theater, Fatima is having the planned victim released from the board he is strapped to with the help of the FBI.  Another FBI agent removes the mask of the dead killer – it is Bobby Griffin.  Everyone wonders who shot him.
Kensi finds Cindy Ferguson trying to escape and quickly cuffs her.  “You’re not getting away, again,” Kensi tells her.
Justin Tucker, the fourth killer, runs right to where Rountree is searching.  Tucker pulls out a big knife, which Rountree insists he drop.  An elevator ping and opens, giving Tucker a way to escape.  Rountree tries to get to the elevator before the door closes but doesn’t make it.  On comms, he warns everyone that Tucker taking the elevator down.  Collins says he’s nearby but the elevator barely moves before Tucker shuts it down.
Outside the elevator, Rountree and Rand try to talk Tucker into surrendering.  Rand demands a cellphone.  He wants to speak to Vincent, the last living master.  Rountree and Rand have no idea what he’s talking about.
Deeks is in a projection room when he hears Collins call “Agent down.”  Deeks finds Collins, who says Barrington stabbed him in the neck.  With the comms are failing, Deeks goes after Barrington when Collins says he’s alright.  Deeks finds a fire exit and starts making his way down.
In the theater where all the killing was going to go on, Fatima with Kensi and Deeks are talking to Alexander, the man who nearly was killed.  She has photos on her phone of the Body Stitchers and Alexander recognizes a few of them but wonders why they don’t have a photo of the main guy – “Master”. 
Cutting a deal, Tucker will come back to the NCIS/FBI floor and turn himself in if he can speak to Vincent.  He does go to the NCIS/FBI floor where he cuts his own throat in front of the NCIS and FBI teams.
Kensi has a very tough talk with Ferguson, who the FBI dropped off at the boat shed.  Ferguson doesn’t know Michael Jeffries but she’s not interested in talking to Kensi.  Talking to Kensi takes time away from the beautiful places like the Taj Mahal and not the prison cell she will call home for the rest of her life.
Out in the main room of the boatshed, Sam is back with Deeks, Rand and Collins.  The reason to call Sam away was a paperwork issue.  Collins doesn’t think Ferguson will offer up anything – she’s too committed.  While they have to cut Jeffries loose – no real reason to hold him – Jeffries lawyered up and the lawyer wants him in witness protection.  Deeks thinks that’s the next best thing to having him in custody.  Sam wants a chance to speak to Ferguson.
Ferguson remembers Sam.  He asks to speak to her without Kensi and Kensi is happy to leave.  Reintroducing himself, Sam tells Ferguson she’s being turned over to the FBI.  Ferguson doesn’t care and Sam knows that – because she’s “stupid.”  Ferguson doesn’t like that.  She really doesn’t like when Sam tells her Vincent is in custody and spilling everything he knows.  He gets time off any sentence for every crime he helps the FBI solve – crimes that will put her in prison for decades.  Ferguson doesn’t believe him but Sam says it is a done deal.
Sam would like to Ferguson explain the whole idea of Vincent being her master.  He isn’t her master, Ferguson explains, they aren’t a “cheesy cult.”  Vincent is a great master like DaVinci or Michelangelo – a great artist like Vincent Van Gogh.  Ferguson shows off her ear and pretends to cut it off.  She is an apprentice to a great master learning their art.  It is “affecting” and Sam agrees – he’ll never forget what they did.  Ferguson goes on about their art making them immortal, gods and how they’d die for Vincent.
At home, Sam is enjoying a nice dinner with his father.  Raymond jokes that he’s cooking great meals hoping it will keep him in Sam’s house.  There’s a WBA middleweight fight that night – Sam thinks the two of them should watch together but Raymond has other plans.  A honking horn outside the house is Arkady, who knows he isn’t allowed to come inside.  Raymond is off to play poker and drink some fine whiskey.  Sam isn’t happy about this.  Raymond is annoyed – he’s happy, he has a friend and someplace fun to go.  He plans to live whatever days he has left as full a life as he can have.  Raymond hits up Sam for a few hundred dollars – he’s joking.
Just after Raymond leaves, Rand calls.  She’s sure they missed something.  Jeffries’s mother was dead for at least 48-hours based on the blood lividity tests.  He killed her – Jeffries wasn’t in custody at that time.  And if he removed his mother’s hand, he’s part of the Body Stitchers.  Sam wants another crack at Jeffries, who is being taken to an FBI safehouse in San Diego by Collins.   Sam calls with an apology to Fatima but he needs her help.  She has Kaleidoscope searching the cameras around the theater.  They are looking for video of Barrington leaving. 
Saying “Dementia can eat my shorts,” Raymond returns home with a large wad of cash.  He throws it to Sam, who was snoozing in the living room.  When Raymond leaves for bed, Fatima texts Sam – “You need to see this.”
There is video of Barrington leaving the theater through a back door.  There is someone wearing a dress shirt holding the door open for Barrington.  A flashback shows a wounded Collins getting up and letting Barrington out of the theater.
In a car, Collins is joined with Barrington, who is sure the entire state of California is looking for him.  Collins tells Barrington he updated the killer’s profile saying Barrington is likely to return to his home in Orlando.  Collins plans to have him on a beach half-way around the world.
Sam contacts Rand with questions about Collins.  Rand met Collins during the Body Stitchers case.  He’s profiled many serial killers, a logical addition to the team. 
In Collins’s car, Jeffries joins Barrington and Collins with a “gift from his mother, I thought she could give us a hand” – it’s a cooler.  Collins is relieved they got rid of the amateurs – Griffin, Tucker and Ferguson – who were only going to get them caught.  Another flashback shows Collins killing Griffin from the theater’s projection room. 
The plan is for Barrington and Jeffries to lay low for a good long time.  Collins gives them envelopes with new identities and $10,000.  There will be more cash when needed.  Down the road, they will reunite and change their art.  Make a body with three arms, five legs and a head growing out of its stomach.  “What would Picasso or Dali do?”
Rand tells Sam that Collins and Jeffries never made it to the safe house in San Diego – they were due hours ago.  She’s worried something happened to Collins.  Reviewing Collins’s interrogation of Jefferies, Sam sees Collins run his hand through his hair and showing Jeffries his ear.  Sam flashes back to Ferguson and her Vincent Van Gogh remarks.  Sam tells Rand that Collins is Vincent. 
What head canon can be formed from here:  “Monster” was a really well done episode that was also a one and done hour.  No need to stop on USA or ION when you see it is rerunning there.  It was clever (if disgusting) and rarely does the team get beaten by the bad guys at the end.  There was also the introduction of Spencer Williams and all that would unfold in the Mosley storyline.
This wasn’t that.  A little lighter on the gore, though only a little, a lot more muddled in the storytelling.  Hated the idea that what we thought were these clever psychopaths were actually just lemmings following a serial killer who was working for the FBI.  It takes away the accomplishment of the “Monster” episode.
Always happy to see Rand but Collins (with three names here – Zachary, Mark and eventually Vincent) was going to be one of two things – the red-shirted member of the team or one of the killers. 
Did like the Sam and Raymond storyline bracketing the episode.  Raymond putting his foot down about living his life the best he can as long as he can was good to see.  Sam has his father’s best interests at heart but Raymond lived a long life and planned to enjoy what he had.
Also liked that Rountree learned about the case in the FBI Academy.  A reminder how much younger he is than the rest of the team that participated in the case.
Kudos to Callen who missed both of these episodes with the Body Stitchers. 
Episode number:     The third episode of season 14.  Episode 305 overall.
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missyourflight · 1 year ago
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some stuff i read and watched in october:
midnight mass: october innit, did a doctor sleep rewatch too (director's cut obvs) - hill house probably fucks me up more emotionally but riley's speech about what happens when you die (synapses version) is like the closest anything's come to expressing my feelings about it so. also did fall of the house of usher which was fun enough but i feel like i'd have got more out of it if i knew more poe whoops
bodies: netflix time travel time loop nonsense i got weirdly sucked into, kyle soller forever etc. stephen graham reminded me i need to watch boiling point
troy: i'm still wallowing in the emily wilson iliad, therefore, troy rewatch. god it's so stupid but i am weirdly fond of it. in 2004 i just thought eric bana was so so handsome. every old man in this is killing it and brad pitt and orlando bloom are unspeakably bad lol. still bananas to me that that one quote gets circulated and attributed to homer when in fact it is by one of the game of thrones dudes
a quiet passion: god terence davies is such a loss. there's a scene in this where emily dickinson is talking about loneliness and she's so Angry about it and i cried so much
the heiress: watched partly for terence and partly for marty and partly for william wyler. i Don't understand how zooms work but there's a shot where olivia de havilland turns back to the house and it's like everything looms and narrows. need to watch more montgomery clift pictures
i know where i'm going!: i can't get to any of the powell and pressburger bfi screenings so i rewatched the red shoes and i watched this for the first time. very romantic imo to get stuck on a scottish island and fall in love with someone who is not your fiance and want them so much you try and sail away from them in the middle of a perilous storm because they keep standing so close to you!!
killers of the flower moon: give lily gladstone everything my god. literally i can't rewatch that one scene in certain women bc it's So much she's SO good
the quick and the dead: we used to make Films you know. 107 minutes. bunch of cowboys in a shootout competition and that's the whole plot. sam raimi inventing new types of zooms. mid-90s russell crowe and absolute baby leo. no notes!
all that jazz: bob fosse you absolute nightmare. i had to go and rewatch the on broadway opening rn just thinking about it. five stars
possession: something fucked up to watch on halloween! very strange and harrowing, loved the tentacle monster obvs
emma donoghue, learned by heart: i do have a soft spot for famed west yorkshire lesbian gentleman jack for reasons of like ancestral queerness, did Not know that anne lister went to boarding school in york and lived in the same building i met my tutor every term. i love york and i love lesbians and i liked this a lot, what a good and ultimately wrenching way into the story. time for a slammerkin reread and also when will sarah waters return to us etc
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hellebore-petall · 2 years ago
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I posted 13,079 times in 2022
158 posts created (1%)
12,921 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@lenasai
@wall-e-gorl
@definetellynotavampire
@wizardpotions
@vethbrenatto
I tagged 6,247 of my posts in 2022
#critical role - 2,103 posts
#pokemon - 710 posts
#dimension 20 - 637 posts
#unprepared casters - 636 posts
#cr spoilers - 555 posts
#bell’s hells - 521 posts
#the mighty nein - 504 posts
#bell's hells - 468 posts
#exandria unlimited - 248 posts
#vox machina - 237 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#what is critical role if not a party of idiots and outcasts finding the most powerful benevolent person on the continent and bothering them
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Hey, if anyone who follows me who is not into Unprepared Casters wonders what the heck I am posting about all the time, the creators of the show made a nice little infographic guide.
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105 notes - Posted May 7, 2022
#4
Constantly thinking about how Hope writes long letters to keep in touch with everyone she ever meets because she deeply cares about them.
Constantly thinking about Lyndell and the moment she hung up on Gem Lovejoy to protect Robyn.
Constantly thinking about the way Bombyx cares for and comforts others. Constantly thinking about how she comforts the queen when Sybilla is badly injured, even though she doesn't care for royalty.
Constantly thinking about how Russ lives with all of his closest friends, because he has a home he can offer then when they don't have one themselves.
Constantly thinking about how Omen left home, just to try to set his mother up. That was literally his whole goal. He wanted to do something nice for his mom.
Constantly thinking about how the arc 5 crew, despite being tired and frustrated and afraid, offered Shi'elle compassion and stopped the time loop by helping her let go of her closest friend.
Constantly thinking about how even when Remeny was at her worst, even with all the mistakes she made that led to some real fucked up consequences, Beryl said she trusted her, that she loved her, that she wasn't going to leave her. Thinking about how Remeny goes against everything in her very nature and sacrifices herself to save Beryl from the ice, to spend her final moments with Lottie. Someone who always felt she had to put herself first because no one else would, even at the expense of other's lives, finally learning to trust others enough to care for them. Thinking about Beryl taking on the biggest power in all of Hyrenor because of the friends she lost, making a life trying to make space for everyone in spite of the Lovejoy empire.
Constantly thinking about how I'm ep 0 of arc 7, Kyle says that Thavius has so much love in his heart for everyone, he doesn't know what to do with it. Thinking about a group of friends reuniting despite their differences and (presumably) learning to love each other again.
Constantly thinking about how this funky little podcast was made with so much love, and that is so evident in how each and every one of the characters are played. Thinking about how there are so many different ways to express love and how Unprepared Casters shows so much of that. Thinking about how there is so much love and support within the community, and how I've made some of my closest friends there. Thinking about how all this was started because of friends who love each other and wanted to make something together. Constantly thinking about how beautiful it is and how all these reasons combined are why Unprepared Casters is my favourite piece of fictional media of all time.
115 notes - Posted March 16, 2022
#3
Gosh, I'm rewatching Doctor Who for the first time in years, and I hope when RTD returns, we get more in depth family involvement for the companions. I miss how present Jackie was, and the tension in Martha's family, and Wilf. We get snippets with other companions (though I haven't seen enough of Chibnall's run to speak to that in depth), but it's always on the sidelines. They are out of the picture. I love seeing their home lives, and I hope we see it again.
144 notes - Posted May 19, 2022
#2
Love that everyone is going feral over No Mercy Percy and that scene with Vax and the Briarwoods. It just has peak tumblr energy, something I haven't seen in my fandom spaces for a while. I've missed people obsessing over edgy blorbos. Nature is healing.
427 notes - Posted January 30, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
So far, Keyleth is the only Critical Role character who has now had an appearance in all three main campaigns.
1,745 notes - Posted September 23, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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badxwolf · 3 days ago
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Doctor Who and Fallout (The Show) which i haven’t seen (don’t have Amazon) but it fits and I wanna hear your thoughts (and I love Kyle MacLaughlin and Matt Berry)
Omg yayy! :) Ok ok (this is a long post)
Doctor Who!!
My favourite female character: Ik this is super surprising and will shock absolutely everyone but I actually love Rose Tyler sooo much!!
For real though she is my favourite character of any media ever, to me she is joy and compassion and bravery and all things good. I adore her <3
My favourite male character: The Ninth Doctor! I’ve already said how much he means to me many times but he makes me feel so safe I love him :)
My favourite book/season/etc: Series 1 is my go to comfort series but series 10 is a close second it’s so good and I love Bill Potts!!!
My favourite episode (if it’s a tv show): Rose! It is the one I rewatch the most <3 but other favs are Boom Town, The Long Game, School Reunion, The Beast Below and The Pilot :)
My favourite cast member: Don’t make me choose between Billie Piper and Christopher Eccleston I will explode into one billion pieces
My favourite ship: Doctor x Rose <3<3 (NineRose and ThirteenRose especially!)
A character l'd die defending: 😬 <- me holding myself back from saying words when someone says they think Rose is annoying (happens way too often irl) also I will defend Thirteen til my dying day!
A character I just can't sympathize with: Idk I can’t think of anyone other than the obvious villains so I’ll just say the “eat my salad” guy from The Woman Who Fell To Earth what was his deal
A character I grew to love: River. I don’t know that I love her but I’ve grown to appreciate the tragedy of her arc especially on my latest rewatch and Alex Kingston is so fun in that role
My anti otp: I don’t really have opinions on ships outside of DoctorRose so idk? Fuck Jimmy Stone I guess.
Fallout!! I will be more vague so as not to spoil it for you :)
My favourite female character: Lucy ofc!! She’s such a great protagonist and she reminds me a lot of my Sole Survivor :)
My favourite male character: I’m gonna be honest I was mainly focused on Lucy but I also liked Wilzig!
My favourite episode: Ep 1 (The End) solely for the opening scene. Genuinely incredible television, it completely took my breath away and I knew from the moment I saw it the show would be brilliant!
My favourite cast member: Ella Purnell!! From the interviews I’ve watched with her she’s so sweet and funny and also she is so gorgeous omg
My favourite ship: I don’t really have one? Lucy and Maximus are cute ig. Lucy x Myself tbh <3
A character I’d die defending: I haven’t really seen much discourse so I’ll just say I would die for CX404/Dogmeat
A character I just can’t sympathize with: Aside from obvious baddies I don’t really have one. I don’t like the Brotherhood but I like Maximus so I hope he gets outta there
A character I grew to love: The Ghoul! I was not immediately enamoured by him from the first images we got like so many people were but he is a really great character and I’m probably most excited to see more of his story in season 2! I love that they use him to show us more of the pre-war world.
My anti otp: I know so many people like them together but I really don’t like Lucy x The Ghoul I’m sorry!!! I think Ella and Walton have great chemistry and their dynamic is very compelling but the idea of them being a couple squicks me out after everything he does to her :(
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enigmaticxbee · 3 years ago
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✖️✖️ 10x02 Founder’s Mutation
The one where... a doctor’s experiments on kids with genetic mutations, including his own, make Mulder and Scully think about William.
Best: Mulder: You’re never “just” anything to me, Scully.
Worst: WHY doesn’t Scully have her name on the door - WHERE IS HER DESK?!! This makes me FURIOUS. Ughyfcggbhjjhb!!!!
✔️ Flashlights
❌ Woods/Desert
❌ Slideshow
✔️ Autopsy
✔️ Evidence Disappears
❌ Scully Misses It
❌ Mulder Ditch
❌ Sunflower Seeds
❌ Voiceover
✔️ Catch Phrase: (TTIOT)
✔️ Scully is a (Medical) Doctor
❌ Mulder is Spooky
❌ Scuuullllaaaaayy! Muullllderrrr!
❌ Fox/Dana
✔️ Inappropriate Touching (that I am here for)
✔️ Casual Scully
✔️ Casual Mulder
❌ Trench Coats
❌ Bad Tie Watch
✔️ Glasses Watch 😎
✔️ Taking! It! Personally!: Mulder & Scully
50 States: DC x102 (44/50)
Investigate: Together & Apart
Solve Rate: 50%
✔️ Bechdel Test
MSR: 🐝🐝🐝
Goriness: 👽👽👽👽
Creepiness: 👽👽👽
Humor: 👽👽
Rewatch Thoughts:
William check-in: The incubator conversation outside the hospital is SO clunky…. My baby, Scully? And it’s not like the idea that William was the result of experimentation is new - it’s threaded throughout seasons 8 and 9, Scully should not be shocked about this line of investigation. So much exposition needed to get revival viewers up to speed on William 🙄
Break-up check-in: It makes me sad that even in their dreams (or nightmares) Mulder and Scully imagine themselves to be raising William alone. They can’t share their grief over the loss of their son, or even imagine themselves as a family. But there doesn’t seem to be any tension or issues working together… Why bother with this breakup if they weren’t going to do anything with it?? They didn’t have to be split up for William to be a fissure within their relationship.
I believe this was originally the 5th episode in the production schedule, which I guess is why their return to the X-Files feels so low key here. Guess Skinner just made them Special Agents again!
Mulder: How do you know that? Scully: I’m old school, Mulder - pre-google. Lol poking fun at how much random knowledge they needed to have in the original run to keep the plot flowing. (Never mind Scully GOOGLING HOW TO DO BRAIN SURGERY in IWTB - no, I will never let it go)
GaY pAniC
Scully’s back in the autopsy bay 🥰
It feels weird to see Mulder and Scully in these big SUVs instead of their FBI rental sedans…
Skinner playing both sides as usual, but he brought them back to dig things up, not to play by the rules. It still just doesn’t feel plausible to me that they would rejoin the FBI after everything that happened. Wouldn’t it have been more fun if they were trying to investigate from outside the system and going to Skinner for help and insider access? (See This from next season, I wanted more of that!)
Scully’s worked at Our Lady of Sorrows hospital for 7 years? 🤔 But IWTB was 8 years before this 🧐 Who knows how time works in txf universe.
Oh hey Doug Savant! I don’t think I’ve seen him in anything since Desperate Housewives.
I know some of the genetic disorders the kids have are real disorders - are all of them?
The plot of this episode really bounces all over the place - especially with the detours to remind us about William. Lotsa leaps in logic needed to get to the janitor being the founder’s son.
Why is Mulder the only one who hears the sound? Is Kyle trying to send specifically him a message? Why him?
Bad things happen when the birds gather. Lolololol
I do love me some hurt/comfort and protective!Scully though
Why is the little girl blond in the flashback and has black hair in present day 🧐
I’ve always been into stories about super kids escaping from evil captors who want to exploit their powers - Escape to Witch Mountain was a favorite of mine.
Mulder imaging what it would be like to raise his son really gets me 🥺 - given the way he lost his whole family there’s so much to explore in his hopes and fears… I wish we got more but I do appreciate that we get this little bit.
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asterekmess · 3 years ago
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were you in the teen wolf fandom when it was airing?
Oohh, yes and no? So, lemme set the scene here.
It's May, 2012. You have a 14-year-old girl. Just about to go into high school. For various (and non-nefarious) reasons, she is stuck in the basement floor of a farmhouse 24/7, a forty-minute drive away from the nearest city, a twelve hour drive from her nearest friends. She is...oh so bored.
But! Her saving grace! Her father is an idiot who pays for a shitload of subscription services on his basement television, and he uses it about once a week. She has access to the remote. >:)
So, what does this magic obsessed 14-year-old do? She binges. Everything. Classic star trek. Classic doctor who. New doctor who. Charmed. The OG Teen Wolf movies. Kyle XY. Smallville. Fuck dude, she even watches like a full season of Switched at Birth, and three episodes of Pretty Little Liars. Then what does she find? A cringey looking teen drama called Teen Wolf, with the prettiest brunette in the teaser screenshot, which coincidentally has the same as those movies she watched. But clearly, they cannot be the same thing or even a reboot, bc this looks fucking dumb.
But she watches it anyway. There's exactly 1 season out. The main character bugs the shit out of her, for no reason she can find besides she hates his floofy hair (I knew about fifty guys with that hair, and let me tell you I was fucking sick of it). The majority of the characters are ripped, which she doesn't care about, as she's got a friend the same age who is JUST as ripped, so she doesn't see it as weird. They keep trying to have sex on screen, and she is just SO confused about what is sexy when there's a bleeding man waiting on you. There's this really scrawny side character who has ADHD, and holy shit she's never seen someone HAVE ADHD on television before. He acts just like her when she's feeling bouncy. She is enamored immediately. The pretty boy from the screenshot is a tall, broody, grim-dark butthead with a leather jacket and the cutest fuckin fangs. Nuff said. She is enamored immediately.
But what's this? The season is over. Broody Boy has these gorgeous red eyes and a new rumbly voice that makes her hum it's so nice, Scrawny Boy has revealed his badassery through molotov cocktails and gaining the begrudging respect of his high school bully. Floofy boy is...kissing the girl who tried to kill him. She's still confused on that one, but they look happy, so yay. With the season over, having been binged in a literal day (yes. i watched it for almost twelve hours straight and my eyes burned. This was nothing new), she sighs, daydreams for a little while (read: three days) about how fucking awesome pack cuddles would be, bc werewolves, and then runs off to write her own werewolf story that is completely and totally different to the show (It isn't, there are weird similarities, cus' she's 14 and an idiot, but she fuckin tried) and immediately forgets the show exists. Skip forward about ohhh fuck when was it? four years? five? It's like 2016-2017, okay? Possibly 2018. I have a shit memory. i kno i was in college. Ya girl's on the webs, tippy tapping. She wanders across Teen Wolf, and BOOM it's either finished or almost finished, all she knows is everyone's FREAKING OUT about seeing the finale. She rewatches s1 for the nostalgia....and just keeps hitting that 'next episode' button. THen, she starts having opinions. Boyd and Erica and Isaac deserve hugs. Derek deserves hugs. Stiles deserves hugs. Scot is...there. not bad, not good, but there.
So, she sits down in 2018 at this fancy new website called Ao3 that she's only just started posting semi-regularly on (and it's Doctor Who fic), and writes out a little fic called "Needed." Suddenly she is IMMERSED in fandom. Chatting to people in the comments, looking stuff up on tumblr, creating a whole side-blog. It's not just a slippery slope, she fell off a cliff and landed in a pile of Stereky Goodness, and man, she has no intention of digging her way out. So, yeah, I wasn't in fandom, but I was a fan, for all of like a week before i forgot it existed. Then when I came back it'd either just ended or was about to end, and I hate watching Currently Running shows bc I hate waiting for new episodes, so I refused to look at any current fandom stuff until it was well over and done with. And then, I joined fandom properly.
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poes-and-things · 3 years ago
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I casually rewatch Normal People every time my emotions get all out of whack because my brain’s like eh, your life’s a mess and you’re already crying from that, might as well relive connell and marianne’s rough choices too.
i’m in the 4th episode when connell is off at trinity and experiencing a hell of a lot of discomfort and doubt and anxiety. he gets a drink with an old schoolmate who stayed in their small town and took a job--also miserable, filled with doubts and discomforts. it’s a beautifully well-done moment depicting the difficulties of the other side of the fence. the schoolmate dreams of leaving the small town and being able to have opportunities to do “greater” things while connell just desires the comfort of his cosy, small town life.
there’s a lot that we have to deal with in the world. we don’t fully understand why we’re here, what we’re supposed to be doing. the goal, we presume, is to make the most out of this odd existence. but being social creatures, we keep ourselves in check with everyone around us. if kylee is married by 22 with a baby on the way and kristin is engaged and ella is pregnant and getting married, then sarah who is still pursuing her doctorate in linguistics pronunciation feels like she’s not quiet doing what she’s supposed to and wishes that she has the seemingly simpler life of kylee kristin and ella. but ella has four friends, one who’s still at school, another in a research position of their choosing, a third working her way up through the business industrial complex, and a forth who’s getting her doctorate, thus making HER feel like her simple life doesn’t mean anything.
i guess what i’m getting at is that it’s okay to feel like your life isn’t yours and that you want to be doing something more or different because everyone feels that way. it doesn’t lessen the blow (sometimes it makes it worse) but at least it doesn’t make you odd or an outlier for feeling out of place in your own existence. it’s something to remember when the scaries get too loud and too dark. you’re allowed to question everything, but try to be nice to yourself in the process.
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cloysterbell · 1 year ago
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Actually this DW rewatch was a mistake because Tumblr's tags are so broken that I'm manually having to dig through the trenches to find good gifsets to reblog and that's a crime
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im-the-punk-who · 4 years ago
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@rnmmarchformeta​ Day 1: Tonight’s theme is: Themes
Malex and Music: Tracing a relationship through music used in the show - Part 1
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Given that both Michael and Alex have a personal connection to music, I wanted to go over some of the intricacies of what the music choices and lyrics/stories behind the songs used might tell us about Malex. The music choices in Roswell New Mexico are deliberate and often incredibly pointed. Particularly in the case of Michael and Alex there are elements of their relationship that are not so much underlined as written about only in the lyrical choices that play under their scenes. This choice for me made rewatching the series a lot of fun because as I discovered the lyrics to some of the more obscure song choices I kept discovering new intricacies and motivations for each of their decisions. Below the cut for length.
(Author’s note circa 2007:  (rawr xD) I’m focusing specifically on the parts of these songs that play over or in direct correlation to scenes where Michael and Alex are both present. I would love to explore this theme in the wider context of the whole show and how their interactions with other characters might change some of these but...this is already like 6k and that’s just how the peas and carrots cooked. That said I will be referencing other characters and relationships as relevant, particularly, I will be talking at some length about Milexa and the airstream scenes in 2x06. I personally have a favorable reading of the scenes and what they mean for Michael and Alex. I also talk briefly about Milexa in a few other spots - they’ve been marked as ‘Milexa’ or ‘Miluca’ if you wish to skip them, although I don’t know if this will make sense as a whole without them. But, should you wish. Proceed accordingly. <3)
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Posted on AO3 here.
Sedona - Houndstooth (1x01)
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The first song we hear in relation to Malex is ‘Sedona’ by Houndstooth. The song plays during the reunion as we see Alex confront Michael about the chemicals found around his airstream. The verse that plays underneath the scene references how, due to its scenic beauty, the town of Sedona was once a highly sought after filming location but had fallen into obscurity when cowboy movies went out of style in the late 70′s.
Similarly, Alex tells Michael that he is ‘wasting his life.’
“Does the macho cowboy swagger thing ever get old for you?”
“Did it get old for you?”
For me, this scene is as much an introduction to the past between these two as their present. Gone but not forgotten, their interactions are a ‘script’ that the two of them play off of. In other words, Michael and Alex don’t so much interact as play off of what the other expects from the other. This becomes especially clear when in 2x05 we learn that Alex has at least once before warned Michael about ‘wasting his life.’
When The Truth Hunts You Down - Sam Tinnesz (1x01)
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The next scene is this one, in which we see Alex contemplating an old picture of himself. We then see Michael watching him.
Later, the last line is overlaid with Jesse telling Kyle about the existence of aliens.
The truth about Michael’s alienness is quiet literally hunting them, but so is something about Alex’s past. As we get to know him, we learn just how much his father is interconnected with all of the worst moments in his life and everrything he has buried and tried to run from in order to avoid it. Michael, Roswell itself - Alex ran halfway across the world to try to run away from the trauma of his youth, and yet here he is.
“Nostalgia’s a bitch, huh?”
“You know I thought when I got back from Iraq you would be long gone.”
“Is that what you want?”
“We’re not kids anymore. What I want doesn't matter.” 
We also find out something of the nature of his and Michael’s relationship and that there are clearly still feelings between them - no matter how much Alex is trying to deny it.
Give Me The Night - Des Rocs (1x02)
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This is one of my personal faves from the Malex soundtracks. It just *slaps* okay?
Aside from the obvious nod to Michael’s alienness, this song underscores the divide still between Michael and Alex despite the passionate kiss they shared at the reunion. Michael is initially flirtatious and full of swagger - until Alex shuts him down.
The fallacy of Alex’s rebuke and his dismissal of the feelings behind the kiss are underscored by his refusal to even look Michael in the eye as they talk. Even if he tries to deny them, the truth of his feelings hunts and haunts him because he feels he can never act on his own desires. And in turn when presented with the about face, Michael turns bitter as the push-pull is reinitiated. Michael falls back to the script they’ve been rehashing to save his feelings - ‘puts on a show’ as it were, and Alex falls for it hook, line, and sinker. He is still unwilling or unable to see the truth that lies beneath the surface.
“Isn’t there some law about building on a historical site?”
“A historical - oh you mean because the UFO crashed here? Yeah, we’re not supposed to build on Santa’s workshop either.”
For Michael, who at least to me was obviously hoping things would change this time around, this must feel like a bucket of cold water, especially in the face of Liz Ortecho’s knowledge and seeming easy acceptance of the aliens’ existence. While Max might get his happy ending, Michael is left to keep hiding from the person he loves, never being seen and wondering if Alex’s feelings are even real. 
Two Princes - Spin Doctors (1x02) (Miluca)
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In rapid fire we have the next three songs as Michael and Alex spend some time at the Wild Pony. This verse plays under the interaction when Alex comes in the bar and spots Michael.
“Though he got kinda hot. In a ‘sex in a truck, smells like a river, never introduce him to your mama’ kind of way.”
“I hadn’t noticed.”
My boy. My child. My bluntest instrument in the tool kit. Has no one ever told Alex Manes that saying you hadn’t noticed an objectively hot guy is hot is basically code for ‘I haven’t stopped staring at him since I walked in and my brain is not functioning at a high enough level to mask that fact’? Son, please, this is a drunk Wendy’s.
(Also this is huge foreshadowing for Miluca - Michael and Maria don’t have sex *in* a truck but it’s pretty close, we find out later that Michael/the aliens smell like rain, and she tells him he’s not meeting her mother at one point. The angle of this shot is also, for me at least, a hint that Michael is going to become the object of these two ‘princes’ affections, at some point.)
Anyway this is basically poking fun at Alex Manes, repressed disaster, for having no clue what love is and trying to express his affection through like, everything except anything anyone would understand as romantic love. (And we will see this in the flashbacks as well as present day - that Alex mostly uses his station or advantages as a way to show the people he loves he loves them, rather than using words. When he offers Michael the shed, brings him the guitar, uses his military connections to find out about Michel’s mom, hacks into Maria’s computer...listen I got more.) But that isn’t enough, as we’re learning. If only there were some way Alex could also learn that lesson.
And seriously, “This one said he wants to buy you rockets?”
How’s It Going To Be? - Stephen Edwards (1x02)
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“Is there really nobody in this world that you wouldn’t risk everything to save? Sad.”
Oh Isobel, if only you knew.
So, aside from returning the kiss Michael initiated at the reunion, Alex has soundly rejected every advance Michael has made for a relationship. Despite that Michael seems to have been harboring some hope that things might be different not that Alex is back more permanently. But now with Isobel bringing into question what he’s willing to sacrifice, I think he might be realizing that toll has been extremely steep already.
(Also truly obsessed with how both Alex and Michael have positioned themselves so that they can casually glance over at each other without arousing suspicion. *Boys*. It’s not that complicated what is this middle school?)
We know that Michael doesn’t like having to keep secrets, and again I have to wonder if he’s regretting not telling Alex he’s an alien, or wondering how that conversation would have gone.
From the previous scenes we can tell something in their relationship is coming to a head - maybe Michael is hoping it’s that he can finally stop keeping secrets from Alex and show Alex who he really is - that Alex will stop misreading him. That Alex will change.
But there is also the expectation that if that happens, Alex will likely leave again. Not just because that’s what Alex���s trauma makes him do, but also because that is how Michael frames all of his relationships. As ‘until you leaves’. He is shown to have a habit of catastrophizing because he doesn’t believe himself to ‘belong’ anywhere(HA) and this is one of those times we’re shown that.
Come With Me - Gold Star (1x02)
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“Home can be a person.”
And here we have Alex “thinking about who he was” as Maria closes up the bar. Given where this scene leads with him and Michael, I think the rest of the lyrics to the song are incredibly poignant.
Tell me what were you dreaming? Tell me who were you trying to reach? Gimme something real to believe in Or gimme a reason to leave So i left her standing under shining stars in the Silver moonlight by old Borough Hall - whoever you are
We know that after this evening Alex attempts to rekindle his relationship with Michael, still thinking about who he was, and maybe for the first time trying not to run from what he wants. He’ll be unsuccessful this time, but it’s the first clue that Alex is attempting to break a pattern that has held him in place for ten years.
While he may have been misreading Michael’s stunted growth, we’re starting to see Alex contemplate change in himself. This is the start of Alex’s two season long journey to break out of the fortress he’s built around himself. To ‘put his weapons down’ in an effort to be with Michael.
(She lets her guard down on her way back//to close her eyes and fall asleep - “It was late....I was tired.”)
God of Wine - Third Eye Blind
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So clearly the writers were like ‘how can we hurt Milo specifically’ because these lyrics are *so good* as we hear malex talk about the way they view their relationship for the first time in the show.
The music starts just as Michael picks up the old photographs, first of the pod squad, then of himself and Alex playing guitars in the desert. As he packs up the airstream to move it off Foster’s Ranch, Michael is also thinking about the past.
Throughout the series, we’re given a bunch of musical lines about how Michael and Alex can’t go back to what they were, that they have to move forward. And it’s true - as we’ll see over and over again the dynamic they’ve had has been incredibly unhealthy for both of them. But they also cannot avoid the other’s orbit. And when Alex comes to talk to Michael it’s the first time we see him actually decide to initiate - to try and take what he himself wants, rather than waiting or hiding from it. But it is also very much Alex falling back into the ‘madness that holds a truth he can’t erase’ of Michael’s really, very, super, incredibly obvious feelings for him. Our boy is not subtle.
But Alex is still hunted by the past - before we know his history we assume that when Alex references ‘who he was before he went to war’ he means Iraq. But Alex’s war is his father. As much as combat can absolutely be a traumatizing experience, for Alex I never really read that as his main source. As he’ll tell Forrest later - “My PTSD triggers are a little more complicated”.
And so when he tells Michael he’s been thinking about who he was “before he went to war” for me that’s more a callback to who he was before Jesse found the two of them in the toolshed. “When this started.”
As Michael tells him “From where I stand nothing’s changed”  the words “I know, I know, I know” repeat in the background because WE KNOW. We all know, except Alex.
“And that’s a problem for me, Guerin.”
And the siren’s song that is your madness
“Because every time you look at me, I’m seventeen all over again.”
holds a truth I can’t erase
“- and I forget that the last ten years even happened. And then you look away and I remember all over again. And it almost kills me every time.”
All alone on your face
“I never look away. Not really.”
For Michael this is basically confirmation of what he’s been realizing over the last few days - that Alex has been totally misreading him and that yes, Michael, you’re going to have to use your words on this one. 
To which we see Alex’s brain 404-blue-screen for a minute as he realizes what Michael means. Which I personally really appreciate.
And especially since we’ve just learned that a lyric of this song was written on Rosa’s hand the night she died, I can’t believe it’s a coincidence in this being the song that plays underneath this scene - where Alex says he was thinking about who he was before. Everything changed that day for everyone - including Michael and Alex. Michael had gained a terrible secret he couldn’t share, that meant he changed his whole life and started needing to hide and lie and act out, and Alex - not knowing the truth - assumed that it was Michael’s way of trying to push him away and end the relationship. Which leads to the decades long miscommunication of Alex seeing Michael do that over and over again.
For the last ten years, Alex has been seeing Michael as the boy who looks away, then looks back. A Michael whose focus shifts to and away from him and who he sees as wasting his life; directionless and aimless. But as he realizes what Michael is saying he has to recalibrate everything he’s thought their relationship is.
This is possibly the first time Alex has realized that his view of Michael has been wrong. That he really doesn’t know Michael at all.
And we know this interaction has a profound impact on Alex in terms of how he views their relationship. I feel like this is one of those things that becomes a mantra for Alex, later down the line. He repeats it to Michael at Caulfield, and in his song as well, “You never looked away, now I won’t look away” to express his commitment to breaking down the walls he has built up for himself. 
Even though we know the relationship is doomed at this point, it’s the first time a stone falls from the walls Alex has built around himself in a decade.
Here - Chance Peña - 1x03 (Alternate title: “Home”)
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Okay I would like to petition to make it illegal to have unreleased songs in episodes, Chance Peña help a bitch out. I had to watch a *fish show* to hear the full lyrics because they’re edited in the show! ( I will also note the next lyric is ‘goodbye, my dear’ which. rude.)
Anyway, we’re given these lyrics as Michael wakes up to seeing Alex has stayed the night. I took the editing, with the previous song choices, to be a reaffirmation of this being something new to Alex, but not necessarily to Michael. Michael knows what he wants from a relationship with Alex - even if he’s put the hope aside from time to time the want is always clear.
For Alex though, a relationship with Michael is something that scares him because of his fear that it can be taken away. (”I just thought that I could be happy, and not be afraid that if I loved anything my dad would destroy it.”) He is trying to make it work - “drawing near” to Michael - but he knows that in order to do that he is going to need to be uncomfortable. To face the fears that have held him back and kept him in comfortable limbo for so long.
I’m also going to flail about how, while RNM has the song listed as ‘Here’, the producer of the other show(Battlefish) identified the song as ‘Home’. I hope I don’t have to yell at y’all, other Roswell New Mexico fans, about how often that word has snuck up on me and knifed me in the back regarding malex. Especially since Alex *is* currently - well, here. With his home. Kill me please it would be kinder.
But then of course we see the old insecurities pop up again as Isobel arrives. Even if he is trying - Alex is nowhere near ready to jump out of the closet yet.
Fast Aint Good Enough - Inkwell Echo (1x06)
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I debated adding this one because it’s a little bit reachy, but I thought it was significant in that even when they were seventeen, the thing Alex is ‘afraid of’ is his feelings for Michael - not necessarily of being gay but of what people like Kyle and his father do with information like that.
Wish I’d found the words when we were seventeen-
Kyle asks
“What are you so afraid of?”
-just as Alex catches sight of Michael.
(“I wanted to be the kind of person who won battles. It felt good.”)
Aside from Alex’s general need to protect Michael in any and all situations, I feel like the lyrics of this song - about the singer’s attempt to leave an abusive relationship - underscore that even before the toolshed, Alex was fighting. Even before the toolshed, he has been fighting to this cycle he is trapped in.
While he and Michael build their relationship he starts thinking seriously about leaving and not just surviving but he will ultimately choose to trap himself for years in order to hide his love for Michael.
Like so many gay kids, Alex is fighting a system that deems him guilty of sin - and takes his fighting back as a sign of his guilt. And in order to actually be able to love Michael, he is going to have to figure out how to put down the weapons and the hurt and break the cycle.
First Day Of My Life - Bright Eyes (1x06)
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Are they serious right now I swear to god.
So obviously, we’ve got the origins for everything we’re told about Michael and Alex’s lives changing based on their feelings for each other in like two and a half verses of song. Forget the entire second season we have everything we need right here.
“It was the first time I liked our hometown, though.”
-
“Alex made me believe there was a place for me here.”
We know that for both of them this is really a moment of self discovery as much as it is a discovery about each other. 
For Michael in particular, who doesn’t know why he’s here or who he really is, and who previously had no plans besides leaving the planet, this is the moment that he realizes what he wants - to be with Alex.
And for Alex, to me, this moment is a brief glimpse into what his life could be like. We don’t have any confirmation if Michael is his first kiss with a boy or not, but we do know that this moment is significant in that it’s the first that makes Roswell feel like a place he enjoys being.
And as he is realizing that, the lyrics echo it -
But I realized that I need you // And I wondered if I could come home
(Screeching from the background: WOULD YOU COME HOME)
But of course, as the song says, these things take forever because...well....
(It’s because Alex is dumb. My poor dumb emotionally stunted child. Please go to therapy.)
In essence, this is the moment that sets Michael and Alex on their entwined path. The path that Alex will have to fight to get back to - the path Michael will lose faith in before he later starts to regain the hope that it exists. I also like to think about the link between the last lines:
Remember the time you drove all night // Just to meet me in the morning?
and the line from ‘Would You Come Home’
Would you meet me in the middle // Could we both stop keeping score?
I like to think about the parallel here, about meeting people where they’re at, and the love and care and effort it takes to be willing to drive all night to meet someone. Listen a bitch is soft and gay don’t look at me.
You Can’t Love Me - Novi & Tyler Blackburn (1x12)
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(*Whispers and rocks back and forth* this is fine it’s all fine)
Once again we have a song whose lyrics give us a tailor made road map to Malex, and will pop up later in ‘Would You Come Home’. We’ve already seen the implosion of the way Michael and Alex have been orbiting each other for a decade, but now that Alex knows the truth, he actually has the ability to understand Michael in ways he hasn’t been able to before. (Something we’ll see later in Season 2 when he talks with Maria.)
And because of that, we see the true beginning of the journey of Michael and Alex back to one another in a healthier way.
But part of that journey is going to be realizing that what they’ve been doing and the way they have loved each other in the past isn’t sustainable - and maybe isn’t even the way they want to love each other.
“They’re my family, Alex!”
“Alright, maybe! But you are mine. I don’t look away, Guerin.”
“No. We’ve been holding onto this thing. And it’s gotten us nowhere. Just let it go.”
Even though the words are said in anger, there is some truth to what Michael says. Their relationship so far hasn’t been a good one. Where Alex is trying to repeat the words that Michael said to him that made such an impact on him, Michael is (well, a, trying to save his dumb boyfriend from getting flambayed) using the opportunity to reveal how little faith he has in their relationship. To say that no, this doesn’t feel like love.
But as much as the song lyrics are about loving someone who isn’t good for you, they’re also about changing and growing, and about a commitment to be better.
(Sound familiar? Brb, I’m gonna go jump off a cliff.)
Love is messy, and especially for Michael and Alex, love has always been something that hurts. “Home is where the hurt is” - and a really important part of their journey is realizing that, and realizing there is a different way of loving each other.
Additionally for Alex, this is when he starts to realize the full extent of his family’s involvement in hunting and hurting Michael’s family. It isn’t just his dad - his entire family line has been involved in this since before Alex was born. And still is. This is really where he starts realizing the roots of the guilt and shame he’s going to have to deal with in order to be anything to Michael - not even a partner but a friend.
This is the first step in that journey. Not just the commitment that yes - I want to build a home for you - but that first, I don’t know, maybe I need to put down these weapons and pick up a different set of tools?
ON TO SEASON TWO
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alipeeps · 4 years ago
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New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game
Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D
There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).
[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]
I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:
So... without further ado:
1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)! 
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2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)
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3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)
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4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.  
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5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).
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6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.
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7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).
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8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”
I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.
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8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....
It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.
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9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D 
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10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)
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11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D
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12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.
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12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.
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13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.
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14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).
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15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.
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16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped! 
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17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D 
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18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.
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19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!
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20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D
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21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!
He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D
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21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.
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22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.
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23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine. 
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24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D
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Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!
I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy​, @arlothia​, @howdydowdy​, @thepromiseweheldforlife​ and @the-wandering-whumper​!
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typingtess · 3 years ago
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NCIS: Los Angeles Season Twelve Rewatch:    “The Frogman’s Daughter”
The basics:  Sam and later the team search for a kidnapped Kam, Deeks is back.
Written by:  Indira Gibson Wilson and Jordana Lewis Jaffe Wilson played Sam’s sleeping wife in two episodes – “Found” in season one and “Betrayal” in season two.  In season 12, Wilson has been the program’s executive story editor.  Wilson is married to former NCIS: Los Angeles writer Joe C. Wilson.
Jordana Lewis Jaffe wrote or co-wrote wrote or co-wrote “Honor”, “Patriot Acts”, “Dead Body Politic”, “Paper Soldiers”, “Unwritten Rule”, “Big Brother”, “Iron Curtain Rising”, “Exposure”, “Savior Faire”, “Beacon”, “Defectors”, “Exchange Rate”, “Black Market”, “Payback”, “Battle Scars”, “Mountebank”, “Vendetta”, “Where Everybody Knows Your Name”, “Pro Se” “Heist”, “Born to Run”, “Provenance”, “Commitment Issues”, “Knock Out” and “War Crimes”.
Directed by:  Tawnia McKiernan, who directed “Exchange Rate", “High Value Target”, “Kulinda”, "Assets" and “Joy Ride”.
Guest stars of note:  Kayla Smith is back as Kamran "Kam" Hanna.  Other guest stars:  Michael King as Logan Reynolds, Alan Trong as Zee/Kyle McCarther, Tiffany Smith as DHS Agent Megan Merkel, Richard Balin as Andre Keller, Elizabeth Roper as Blaine, Patrick Garahan as Isiah Estevez, Zach Tinker as Tyler, Michael Manuel as Carlos and Sloan Robinson as Mrs. Peters
Our heroes: Learn the Hanna family rules.
What important things did we learn about:
Callen:  Will talk about his trip at a later time. Sam:  Desperate to find Kam. Kensi:  Frustrated but elated about having a child with Deeks. Deeks:  Was sad about the last six months of arduous fertility doctor’s appointments Eric:  There to improve other NCIS computer systems. Nell:  Not there. Fatima:   Immune to peer pressure because of her hijab. Roundtree:  Does a good job of being Sam to Sam’s Callen in this episode. Hetty:  See Nell.
What not so important things did we learn about:
Callen:  Back in the nick of time. Sam:  Has 52-Hanna house rules. Kensi:  In her 30’s and killing it. Deeks:  Barely 40 and hanging on by a string. Eric:  Wears yellow glasses because red ones don’t work with his skin-tone. Nell:  See Hetty. Fatima:  Fixes computers by smacking the monitor. Roundtree:  Believes in the peaceful right to protest. Hetty:  Absent.
Who's down with OTP:  Kensi and Deeks are struggling with their road to fertility.  He wants to fix everything, she doesn’t want to be fixed.  He’s sad about how hard this all is, she’s frustrated but elated they’re going to be parents.
Who's down with BrOTP:  Again, this was more a Sam with Roundtree episode with Sam playing the role of Callen – acting without thinking all the time – and Roundtree offering Sam-like words of wisdom.  
Any pressing need for a cranky retired Admiral?  Not today.
Who is running the team this week?  Sam
Fashion review:   A late arriving Callen is in midnight blue button-down shirt.  Sam is wearing a black jacket and a black tee.  Red sweater and black leather jacket for Kensi.  Dark blue, long-sleeve tee for Deeks.  Eric is wearing a black mock-turtleneck.  Fatima has on a grey and blue plaid button-up over a Tiffany blue turtleneck.  Green field coat and a black-tee for Roundtree with tan pants.
Music:   “Bones” by August Burns Red is playing when Kam’s captors are unhappy with their prisoners.  
Any notable cut scene:  These are extended scenes today.  The first extended scene is Roundtree wanting to see Megan Merkel’s badge – for work purposes.  He laughs, “oh snap, you are Meghan Merkle”, as he checks out the badge.  When Merkel isn’t amused, Roundtree admitted he had to get it out of his system.
In the second extended scene, around the time Sam has Roundtree checking Kam’s social media, Sam explains how he communicates with his daughter and the levels of encryption their phones have.
Quote:  Sam:  “Aiden's older. He's... he's a boy. I knew how to handle him, what to expect. But Kam... That's my baby girl. I did the best I could. I knew she would suffer. I knew something would go wrong without her mom around. Knew it.” Roundtree:  “It's not your fault, Sam.” Sam:  “My wife would kill me if she was here right now.”
Anything else:   One previously - Sam and Kam on the phone just before her abduction.   In what looks like a personal prison, Kam is being held with a young man and a young woman, all in separate cells.  The guard is dress in black with a mask over his mouth and dark sunglasses despite the dark setting.  The male is demanding his release, reminding his captors he has rights.  Through the prison bars, the guard hits the younger man with a baton.  
In the bullpen, Sam is on the phone, demanding to speak to someone who can help him.  Fatima arrives, unaware that Sam is on the phone, looking for some tea.  She apologizes but Sam is back on hold.  He also knows where the tea is.  When Fatima asks if everything is okay with Sam, she learns that he cannot contact his daughter at school.  Fatima suggests a text but Sam tried that too.  
Thinking that life at Keating can be academically tough and it being Kam’s senior year, Fatima wonders if she’s just busy.  Sam tries another call to Kam’s cell.  He shares the phone call he had with Kam the previous night.  He knows something is wrong.  Fatima suggests that as a teen, she didn’t always want to talk to her dad.  That went poorly.
Walking to their SUV in downtown LA, Kensi and Deeks are not on the same page.  He wants to talk, she just wants to get through the rest of her day.  Deeks assures Kensi there is nothing wrong with her but “that little paper in your hand” tells Kensi a different story.  Deeks holds up a prescription sheet, saying that Kensi is really taking nothing more than a supplement.  Kensi disagrees.  She’s the one who is going to have to that the hormone shots.  She knows Deeks wants to talk about it but she doesn’t.  Tossing him her keys, Deeks is driving them to work.
Eric is back in Ops.  The Navy is so happy with new Kaleidoscope that they asked him to examine other systems to optimize.  Fatima sits down in Nell’s old seat.  She wants to know about Eric’s yellow glasses.  The yellow glasses block the LED light from the computer screens and the red version of the glasses did not work with his skin tone, Bono owns blue, green is weird and purple “is like ‘what’”.  When Fatima’s tablet beeps, she tells Eric that NCIS is being asked to help with protests in Los Angeles that night.  Roundtree is going to meet DHS in the boat shed.
Roundtree meets DHS Agent Megan Merkel.  Roundtree is stunned by this Megan looking just like the other famous Meghan.  Getting to the business at hand, Merkel tells Roundtree that DHS is coordinating with LAPD for the protests.  Roundtree is surprised since this is supposed to be a peaceful protests about justice and racial equality.  Merkel thinks peaceful protests are “idealistic”.  All sorts of agencies are involved because the issue isn’t the protesters.  Roundtree sees the worry is armed counter-protestors who are the real threat.  Merkel wants information about groups who could pose a real danger that night.
Back in the office, Roundtree passes Fatima on the stairs to Ops.  Fatima warns Roundtree not to go upstairs. Roundtree doesn’t think that is a nice hello so Fatima says hello and don’t go upstairs.  Roundtree doesn’t not take advice well and strolls into Ops to find Sam telling Eric he’s not asking for something, he’s telling Eric what to do.  When Sam tries to dismiss Roundtree, Eric begs him to stay.  Sam explains he was trying to get “my friend Eric” to check in on Kam.  Eric has issues with using federal technology to invade Kam’s privacy and locate her whereabouts.   Roundtree and Sam trade “no disrespects” when they disagree with Sam’s plan before Sam explains “I need to do this.”  Eric does a quick test – Kam’s phone is offline.
Racing downstairs from Ops with Roundtree right behind him , Sam explains the house rules.  House rule number four is that you return every call within 12-hours.  Sam spoke to his daughter over 14-hours ago.  She is not someone who disobeys the house rules.  Wondering if Kam lost her phone or broke it, Roundtree is offering alternate scenarios.  She didn’t lose or break her phone – Sam just heard from the school and Kam missed classes yesterday.  Sam is San Francisco bound.  
Walking Sam to the office door, Roundtree asks how many Hanna house rules are there.  “52.”  Roundtree jokes if there is an app for the house rules.  Sam isn’t joking – once Roundtree has kids he will do whatever it takes to keep them safe.  Roundtree asks a departing Sam what is rule number one.  “Never lie.”  As Sam is at the office door, Eric arrives.  Kam isn’t at school.  She’s in Los Angeles.
In the armory, Kensi is packing up some of the big guns in black carrying cases.  Deeks asks if there is anything he can do.  She wants him to stop treating her like she has “handle with care” written on her forehead.  She makes it clear, she’s fine.  He knows she’s not and tells her that.  He’s not fine either.  They’ve been trying to get pregnant for a long time.  Kensi disagrees with long time.  They’ve been with this doctor for six months.   Deeks decides that six months is okay but with the tests and ultrasounds and everything else, the six months have been “a tad bit arduous.”  Kensi agrees.  She also thinks arduous is a stupid word.  Deeks totally agrees.  He also thinks it is okay if she’s upset about it.  He’s upset about it. And sad.  Kensi isn’t up for this conversation at work.
Since Sam can’t remember the name of Kam’s LA friends, he has Roundtree looking at Kam’s Instagram account as Sam scrolls through his texts.  Kam’s IG is largely pictures of the ocean and inspirational quotes.  Finding the friend’s names – Jo and Karina – Sam is furious at himself for not remembering their names.  Roundtree blames it on nerves, something Sam’s brain isn’t used to.  Eric arrives – he found something.
In Ops, Eric has Kam’s other IG account – Kannacancan02.  Eric was able to trace Kam’s friends on IG and found a mention of this second account.  There are lots of selfies and doing fun things with friends, including a male friend.  After saying ‘no’ to Eric’s question about the young man being Kam’s boyfriend, there is a photo with a big heart around the two.  
Running the young man through facial rec, Logan Reynolds is a 19-year old Los Angeles resident who was just arrested for obstruction of justice.  Sam is going to speak to Logan.
Back in the private prison, Kam asks the young man who was beaten where was he kidnapped.  He tells her Hollywood and Highland and asks why is she interested.  Kam is trying to put the pieces together.  The fellow is Isaiah Estevez.  He’s an activist and someone Kam knows – she’s working with Students for Humanity.  When the guard sees Isaiah and Kam speaking, he bangs his baton on their cell bars and has them stop.  To prove how quiet he wants them, loud music starts blasting through speakers and a strobe light flashes from the ceiling.
Pounding on Logan Reynolds’s door, Sam yells “federal agents” and in a stunning turn of events, no gunfire.  Roundtree notes nobody is actually home.  Sam is about to break in but Roundtree wonders if that is how Sam want to introduce himself to the parents of Kam’s friend.  Sam is struggling with the idea that Kam would be friends with someone with a criminal record.
As Sam is about to check out the back of the house, Roundtree sees Reynolds walking down the street with an older woman.  Roundtree yells “federal agents” and while again, no shooting, Reynolds takes off.  Sam quickly grabs Reynolds and tosses him up against a car.  While Sam demands to know where Kam is, Roundtree is trying to keep things calm.  After Reynolds is handcuffed, he says “nice to finally meet you, Mr. Hanna.”  The woman Reynolds was walking home wants to know if he is alright.
In interrogation, Sam sits Reynolds down.  Dropping “sir” and “Mr. Hanna” regularly, Reynolds has no idea where Kam is.  Sam asks if Reynolds is dating Kam.  He is and he’s worried too because if he doesn’t know where Kam is, there is no way Reynolds knows.  Reynolds thought Kam was with Sam.  Sam knows nothing about Reynolds, about Kam being in Los Angeles or about anything else “she lied to me about.”  The only common thing in all of Kam’s lies to Sam is Reynolds.  Reynolds tells “Mr. Hanna” that he is as worried about Kam as he is.  Sam is having none of that – Reynolds has no right to be as worried as Sam is right now.  Roundtree enters interrogation to cool things off.
Alone in the boat shed’s main room, Roundtree asks Sam to give Reynolds a chance.  That’s a no for Sam since Kam never lied to Sam before Reynolds showed up.  He understands that Sam is hurt and angry about Kam keeping things from him but he’s taking it out on “a kid that can barely grow a mustache.”  Sam points out that Logan is 18 and Roundtree agrees – can Sam imagine how Reynolds feels.  Reynolds may be the only way to find Kam and Sam can’t be frightening the kid.
Sam sighs.  Aiden was older and as his son, Sam knew what to expect.  With Kam, his baby girl, and without Michelle around, Sam knew Kam would suffer.  Michelle would kill him right now if she was in the boat shed.  Roundtree is going to try to talk to Reynolds.
After turning down a “sir” since Reynolds isn’t dating Roundtree’s daughter, Roundtree wants to know why Kam was in LA.  Reynolds is trying to keep Kam’s secrets until she can talk to Sam but Roundtree needs to know how to find her.  Reynolds and Kam were going to that night’s protests.  His arrest was after a peaceful march turned ugly with the police attacking protesters.  He was helping a friend who was hit in the head and charged with impeding police activity.  In the main room, Sam is impressed.
Roundtree asks about the protests that night.  Reynolds was going with posters – Kam is one of the main organizers of the protest.   Roundtree seems surprised – Kam is 17.  According to Reynolds, Kam was running her group from her dorm room at school.  She got a lot done under the radar because Keating isn’t big on student protests.  Neither is Annapolis.    Kam knew there was a risk to what she was doing but what she was doing was important.  Nothing was going to stop her.
Yesterday, Kam was working with the Students for Humanity out of a bar closed for COVID.  Things got late and Kam to drive to Sam’s boat and spend the night.  Sam comes in, accusing Reynolds of lying.  According to Sam, Kam doesn’t own a car.  No, Kam drives a Mini Cooper.
Fatima runs into Eric who is just thrilled to be back neck deep in Sam’s personal life.  That is why Fatima walked away.  Kensi and Deeks are neck deep – they are checking out the bar where Students for Humanity were working.  Fatima explains that wearing a hijab makes her immune to peer pressure.  Kam paid for her car with money earned at a part-time according to Eric.  Fatima wants to know if Sam knew about the job.  He knew Kam had a job, thought it was at the library.  It was at a Greek restaurant.  Fatima asked why didn’t Kam tell Sam about the car.  “Because he would have made her get an armored tank.”  Fatima could see that – “smart girl.”  Eric found the car – “we” could go check it out.  Fatima isn’t thrilled with “we” but with Kensi and Deeks teamed up, Roundtree working with Sam and Callen still not back from his trip, Fatima is getting involved.
At the Student for Humanity HQ, the bar’s big front window has been blown out.  Deeks asks one of the volunteers if she knows who did it and that doesn’t go well.  Kensi mentions Kam and that actually goes worse since the young volunteer doesn’t think Kam is friendly with a couple of 40-year olds.  Deeks notes that Kensi is still in her 30’s and killing it and he’s 40 and hanging on by a thread.  The young woman knows all about Kam’s dad and wants to know if Kensi and Deeks are law enforcement.  When Kensi says yes, the young volunteer is done.  
Kensi explains that Kam is missing and they just want to find her.  The young woman relents.  There are issues with the Students for Humanity group.  She believes the window was broken by one of their own.  There is a group member, Zee, who doesn’t think they are doing enough.  Peaceful protests aren’t enough for Zee.  Kam disagrees.  Since the organization is all behind Kam, the young woman believes Zee has to make inroads with Kam before getting them to change.
Fatima is checking out Kam’s car – it was left in the garage overnight (there is a ticket).  
In her cell, Kam is breaking the sink away from the wall with the loud heavy metal music providing cover.   She is able to break through the wall.
Kensi gets word that Kam is still missing.  Deeks can’t even imagine the terror Sam must be feeling.  Kensi agrees.  Deeks is impressed with the protest signs.  He was a rabble-rouser in his day - that being eighth grade with the Rodney King verdict.  He wore a “Burn Baby Burn” tee-shirt for a week.  The principal insisted he change the shirt.  He wouldn’t and wound up with a suspension for two-weeks.  But Deeks learned to take a stand.  Kensi loves that about Deeks.
The young volunteer returns.  The petty cash box was been stolen.  There was some real cash in there for bail if anyone was arrested.  Only Kam, Zee and the young woman knew about the cash box.  Suddenly worried, the young woman mentions there was also a gun in the cash box.  The young woman thought they needed a gun to defend themselves, she never saw someone stealing it.
Returning to the office, Roundtree asks how Sam is doing.  Sam is worried about a daughter who has been kidnapped by a gun-toting anarchist.  He’s doing great.  Roundtree reminds Sam that Kam is a tough girl, she can handle herself.  She had a good instructor.  Sam is grateful.  Eric call Sam – Zee is Kyle Z. McCarther.  He vanished from social media a few weeks ago.  Eric found a Reddit thread where Zee has all sorts of memes about his anarchist ideas.  Eric has Zee’s location downtown and he’s sending them the address.  Callen joins Sam and Roundtree – he raced back when he heard.  Sam asks about Callen’s trip but that is a story for another time.  They are going to find Kam.
Kam crawls through the wall and sees her captors around a desk.  One is going out for a cigarette – the music is annoying him too.  Both go out instead.  Kam breaks through a grate and enters the office.  She finds the keys to the cells.  Grabbing them, she returns to free her fellow prisoners.  One of the guards returns and fights with Kam.  A second guard appears and Kam is tossed her into a different cell.  One guard pulls out the firehose and turns it on Kam in her cell..  
An older man, Mr. Keller is boarding up the office to the parking lot.  He wants everything secure before the protest.  Fatima asks about Kam possibly being abducted from the garage.  The man says at night all the garage gets is “bums and clubbers”.  Fatima points out the security cameras, she’d like to take a look but they haven’t worked for years.  Fatima wishes the man luck and tells him to stay safe.  At 83, Keller tells her every day is a dance with death.  Fatima has an idea about the cameras and Keller lets her try.  Hitting the screen, the cameras are fine but the monitor is finally online.  
Callen and Sam arrive at Zee’s warehouse.  Callen’s phone rings – Fatima has footage for Kam’s abduction.  Though Callen thinks it will cloud Sam’s judgement, Sam wants to see it.  When it does, he’s livid.  Racing to the warehouse where Zee is located, they see two men in bullet proof vests moving something heavy.  Sam yells “federal agents” and that gets Zee to pull out a detonator and blow up something in the warehouse.  Callen chases the Zee’s accomplice while Zee takes a small blow torch and goes after Sam, causing a big fire so he can escape.
Callen’s guy gets to his truck and that’s about it.  He’s panting as he tries to open the door.  Callen has his gun out and the accomplice has his hands up.
In something I think was a metaphor, Sam jumps through fire to save his child.  Oh look, it’s raining anvils.  Anyway, Sam runs after Zee who has dropped the small blow torch for a metal pipe.  Sam throws Zee through a glass door.  Callen is proud Sam didn’t kill Zee.
Zee is rocking a neck brace “for dramatic effect” according to Callen and is on his way to the hospital before jail.  Sam knows he’s missing something – just can’t get his mind right.  Callen wants to speak to Zee, who is angry Sam went after him.  Sam mentions the explosives and fire, thinking Zee is lucky.  Zee doesn’t know what happened to Kam.  The only people grabbing protestors are the feds like in Portland.  Callen notes NCIS didn’t do that.  Callen shows Zee video of Kam’s abduction.  He had nothing to do with that.  He’s more worried about the militias showing up with guns.  The protestors need to be protected.
Eric calls – Zee alibi checks up.  While Roundtree and Fatima are looking at who is going to the protest, Eric found that Kam isn’t the only organizer missing – Erica Parker and Isiah Estevez are also missing.
Merkel is back with a list of all the persons of interest that will be at the protest that night  Roundtree thinks they have the right to protest peacefully without being tracked.  They have a right to be heard if they are unhappy with what’s going on in the country.  Roundtree picks one name on the list – a Darryl Watterman.  Merkel notes that Watterman has been on a watchlist since July.  He was arrested in Seattle with explosives.  DHS supports freedom of speech and protests that are within in the confines of the law.  Having enough explosives to blow up the Seattle Space Needle is something else.
While Sam keeps replaying the video, Callen tells him that Kam wasn’t on the DHS watch list.  She also hasn’t been hospitalized.  Sam asks about the morgue.  Callen checked twice – she’s not there either.  Sam remembers when little girl Kam would want him to squeeze her hand – she thought he was the strongest man alive.  Looking at the video one last time, Sam sees a tattoo on the kidnapper.
In Ops, Eric found the tattoo after going down a rabbit hole of Disney-themed tattoos for grown men.  Sam wants to find Kam.  He found that the tattoo belongs to a gang called the Sandmen who had a presence in the LA County Sheriffs Department.  Sam wants the team to split up the list of former sheriff officers who were gang members.  
Deeks is thrilled to be investigating disgraced officers who may have kidnapped Kam for standing up for civil rights and social justice issues.  Deeks is bothered by law enforcement’s part of all this and the fact that they are trying to bring a child into this very cruel world.  Knowing that Kensi doesn’t want to talk about this, he’s not going to talk about it anymore.  Kensi tells Deeks she is frustrated that her body and Deeks tries to stop her because this isn’t her fault.  Kensi just wants to talk – just her talking.  She wants to tell him she’s frustrated but she’s also elated that they are trying to start a family.  Deeks hears her.  But right now they have to nail the bad guys to the wall.  Deeks loves it when Kensi talks pretty.  
Kensi notices two of the gang members/officers worked at the same location – a decommissioned sheriff’s station in Reseda.  It is a good place to hide people.
The guard with the baton is back.  He sees Kam flat on her back, out cold in her cell despite the loud music playing.  He yells “wakey-wakey” but she doesn’t move.  The guard orders his partner, Carlos, to cut the lights and the music.  Kam isn’t moving.  The guard opens the cell door.
Callen and Sam arrive at the decommissioned sheriff’s station.  
When the guard bends down to check Kam’s pulse, she starts pounding on him.  She gets away only to run into the arms of Carlos.  As he starts to hit Kam, Sam arrives.  Things do not go well for Carlos.  Not at all.  Callen handcuffs the guard in Kam’s cell while Sam nearly chokes Carlos.  Callen and Kam’s presences stops Sam.  Sam hugs his daughter as Callen handcuffs Carlos.
Leaving the decommissioned sheriff’s station, Sam ticks off the Hanna house rules Kam broke.  She answers “I know” after each one except number 43.  She disagrees.  Sam is bothered by Kam owning a Mini-Cooper. Kam admits Aiden helped with that one.  Kam apologizes for everything.  
Sam just wants Kam to talk to him – to tell him the truth.  She wants to but it is hard to tell NCIS Agent Sam Hanna that the protests are important to her.  They are important to Sam too.  Kam is happy – she wants him to go to the protest with her.  Asking if she really plans to protest after being kidnapped and tortured, Kam does.  And Sam is proud – “that’s my girl.”  After a hug, Sam wants to know about Logan Reynolds.
What head canon can be formed from here:  It was interesting that Sam thought Michelle would kill him with Kam in a world of trouble.  I guess that answers how Michelle reacted to Aiden’s in-school kidnapping.
Kam wound up being a real hero here – she wasn’t waiting for someone to save her, she worked tirelessly to save herself.  I hope the show remembers this when Kensi sees Kessler again.
Great Roundtree episode as the voice of reason with Sam and the voice of freedom to Megan Merkel.  Megan Merkel was not a great idea.
If you’re the band August Burns Red, are you thrilled your music is being used as a former of torture?
Episode number:  Hitting double-digits, this is episode 10 of season 12.  It Is the 272nd episode overall.  
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set-phasers-to-whump · 4 years ago
Text
harder than a bullet could hit you
fandom: roswell new mexico
whumpee: kyle valenti
uhh idk what this is really but im rewatching the series and im always gonna be upset that there’s zero aftermath of kyle getting shot!!! like just bc you have a vest does not mean ur magically okay (especially emotionally !) so yeah heres this, the title is from river by bishop briggs. (@deepwoundsandfadedscars i know this isnt the fic i said i would write but i thought id tag you, lmk if it sucks lol)
He wasn’t expecting to see Kyle Valenti here-at least, not sitting in a chair in the hospital reception area, staring blankly ahead, looking off in a way Alex thinks looks very odd on him. 
“Hey, Valenti,” he says, walking to the front desk. He sighs. “I’m here for Jesse Manes? They said he was in some sort of coma.”
The woman behind the desk nods, gives him a room number, and pats his arm in a sorry-about-your-dad kind of way that would be nice if it were anyone else’s dad. He smiles tightly, and heads off to find the room.
He doesn’t realize until he’s standing in the doorway that Kyle hadn’t said hello back to him, which shouldn’t be a big deal...he’d give it more thought, maybe, but right now, here is Jesse fucking Manes, in a coma and for once rendered completely harmless. It’s what he deserves, Alex thinks. Better than what he deserves, really. But what had happened? His father was certainly not the type of person to slip quietly into a coma. 
He leans against the doorframe, staring daggers at the unconscious form on the bed. His father had the nerve to come back from Niger (probably because of a certain incident which Alex would rather not think about at the moment) and then promptly fall into a coma before Alex could even threaten him with...something, anything to keep him away. 
He stews in his thoughts for several minutes before someone taps his shoulder. He jumps slightly, spinning quickly around. 
A nurse smiles apologetically at him. “Sorry about that,” he says. “Alex Manes, right?”
Alex nods. “Do you know what happened to him?” he asks, gesturing into his father’s room.
“Not exactly,” the nurse says. “Dr. Valenti brought him in maybe half an hour ago, said they were working on a project together and he just collapsed.”
Alex nods again, and thanks the nurse, who tells him that as soon as they know more, Alex will be the first to know. Alex doesn’t bother to tell him that he really couldn’t care less. 
He makes his way back to the hospital reception, thinking less of his father and more of Kyle. Questions like, Why is he still here? and Did they get into a fight? swirl around in his head as he emerges back into the room. 
Kyle is still there, still staring off into nothing, a blank look on his face. Hesitantly, Alex approaches him. “Hey,” he says, tapping Kyle lightly on the shoulder. “You good? I heard you brought my father in.”
Kyle doesn’t say anything, just takes a sharp breath in, then winces. Alex frowns. “Kyle,” he says, more insistently. “Did something happen?”
And Kyle runs. Shoots up from his chair and bolts out the hospital doors. Alex stumbles backward in surprise, staring ahead out the doors for a second in disbelief. Something is wrong, he thinks, and he’s just about to follow Kyle outside when there’s yet another tap on his shoulder.
He whirls around. “What,” he says, sounding more irritated than he had intended to. 
It’s the same nurse from before, who gives him that same apologetic grin. “Sorry again,” he says. “I just thought I’d let you know we’re going to be moving your dad to a new room tonight, if you want to come and visit him again.”
“Yeah,” Alex says distractedly, craning his neck to see if he can spot Kyle somewhere outside. He accepts the card the nurse gives him with his father’s new room number on it and says a terse goodbye. He doubts he’ll be doing much visiting.
Alex heads outside, hoping to catch Kyle, if he’s still here. Something is most definitely wrong with him, and considering everything they’ve been involved in lately, he’s sure it’s going to end up involving him too, at some point. Better to learn about it now than later, he reasons. Plus, he can’t shake the feeling that this has something to do with his father, which is never a good feeling to have.
He’s in luck-he’s no sooner left the hospital reception area than he sees Kyle-or rather, the back of Kyle. He’s hunched over a trash can, clearly having just been sick, and Alex sees his hands shaking where they grip the edges of the can. He stands there for a second, unsure of what to do. 
Kyle abruptly pushes himself away from the trash can, walking backwards until his back presses against a pillar. He sinks to the ground and runs a hand down his face. Alex clears his throat, and finally, Kyle looks at him.
“Hi,” he says, his voice scratchy. He lets out a shuddery exhale, and Alex, without particularly thinking, sinks down slowly next to him. 
This close, he can feel that Kyle is shaking, and it scares him a little. Kyle is steady and strong, and this is extremely unlike him. He tries his question again-“what’s wrong?”-but Kyle just shakes his head. 
Alex sighs, unsure of what to do. He can’t just leave Kyle here-he’s in no condition to drive, and he doesn’t seem like he has any intention of moving, anyway. But can Alex just...make him leave? They aren’t that close, not yet, not anymore...but Kyle is, if not a friend exactly, then an ally, and you don’t leave an ally behind. Especially if he may be in some serious trouble. (With Jesse Manes involved, it’s always serious trouble). 
Alex stands up, pushing against the pillar for balance. Once he’s on his feet, he extends a hand to Kyle, who looks at it, then at him, blankly. 
“Come on,” Alex says. “I won’t ask what happened,” not right now, anyway, he thinks, “but you can’t just stay here and I’m not gonna let you drive like this.”
Kyle nods, finally, takes a deep breath which he aborts halfway through, and takes Alex’s hand. 
They drive in silence for a while, Alex absentmindedly tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel, fighting the urge to turn the radio on, so there’s at least something. Beside him, Kyle is uncharacteristically quiet, hands in his lap, staring out the window like he wants to melt the buildings of Roswell with his brain.
It’s weird.
And then, as Alex makes the turn onto the road that leads to the cabin, Kyle...well, he doesn’t say anything, but he makes a noise, anyway, one which sounds panicked and afraid.
Alex glances over at his passenger, who is now trying frantically to remove his shirt, but his hands are shaking too much to undo the buttons. He reaches a hand out, moving Kyle’s hands away from his shirt. 
“You’re fine,” he says, keeping his voice quiet and calm. “It’s okay.” He doesn’t know what else to say, doesn’t know what’s got Kyle like this, but he’s growing more and more sure that it has something to do with Jesse Manes.
His vague words of reassurance do the job, mercifully, and Kyle’s hands return to his lap. Alex can practically feel the stress rolling off of him, and he hates it, without really knowing why. He drives a little faster.
Eventually, they make it to Alex’s cabin. Kyle practically falls out of the car, and Alex has to nearly drag him up to the door. Once they get inside, Alex shrugs out of his jacket and hangs up his keys, directing Kyle to sit on the couch but giving him a second to get comfortable. He grabs two glasses of water from the kitchen and returns to the living room, where Kyle is once again trying-and failing-to remove his shirt.
Alex sets down the glasses on the table and sits next to Kyle on the couch. “You need some help there?” he asks, trying to keep the mood light. 
Kyle looks at him, his expression pleading and anything but light. “Alex, please, I can’t…” He fumbles with a button, cursing as his hands refuse to steady enough to keep a hold on it.
“Yeah, I got it,” Alex says gently, unbuttoning Kyle’s shirt. He stops when he feels a familiar material underneath.
“What...Kyle, this is a bulletproof vest…” he stops talking for a minute as the pieces rapidly connect in his mind. “He shot you,” he says finally, hating the fact that he believes this so easily. Shooting civilians...not like this would be the first time his father’s hurt someone he cares about. He shakes himself out of that line of thinking in time to hear Kyle’s whispered, “yeah, he shot me...I was gonna buy a gun, Alex, but I-I couldn’t, I-”
He’s on the verge of hyperventilating, Alex notices. He hesitantly reaches out a hand, places it across the stiff fabric of the vest. “It’s okay, Kyle,” he says, taking a deep breath in the hopes that the doctor will copy it. “Just breathe, okay?”
Kyle takes a breath, wincing. “It hurts,” he mutters. “Like...like someone hit me with a baseball bat. Or, like, a truck.”
Alex nods sympathetically, reaching to undo the straps of the vest. “That pain will most likely be the worst of it. People don’t usually break ribs or anything, not with this kind of vest, and my father’s kind of gun. You’ll probably have a nice bruise for a couple weeks, though.”
Kyle gives him a shaky smile as Alex slides the vest off. “Now who’s the doctor?” he jokes, and Alex half smiles back, glad that Kyle seems to be doing a little better. His smile turns to a grimace as he observes the damage his father has inflicted. Kyle looks down at himself, at the dark bruise forming over his heart. 
“I would have died,” he whispers, shaking his head like he can’t quite believe it. 
“Yeah,” Alex agrees. There’s no point in sugarcoating it-he is fully aware of what his father is capable of, and he’s sorry that Kyle had to learn those capabilities like this, but it’s the truth.
Kyle nods slowly, then looks around. “I can go,” he says at last, not sounding particularly attached to the idea.
Not that Alex would let him, not like this. He tells him as much: “Kyle, there is no way I am going to let you leave when you’ve just been shot, and by my father, no less.”
A thought occurs to him then, and it scares him with how much he hopes it’s not true-maybe Kyle does want to leave, because Jesse Manes shot him, Alex’s father shot him, and-
“You’re sure I won’t be a bother?” Kyle asks, jolting Alex out of that particular line of thinking. He looks so genuinely unsure, like he doesn’t believe Alex wants him to stay, needs him to stay-he needs some kind of stability right now, honestly, and while he never would’ve thought that would come in the form of Kyle Valenti, he’s not going to complain. 
“Of course you won’t, Kyle,” and then, because he has to be sure, “as long as you’re okay staying with the son of your would-be murderer.”
“Hey,” Kyle says, his voice stronger than it had been a second before. “Don’t say that-I mean, you can say the part about him almost murdering me, but it’s not like you chose to be his son. You didn’t make him shoot me. Nothing he does is your fault.” He smiles again, like that will negate the seriousness in his voice. There’s something like fondness on his face, and his hands have stopped shaking, Alex realizes. He doesn’t really know what to do with that, so he simply says, “yeah.” It feels nice to hear that, he manages to admit to himself. He gives Kyle a genuine smile and moves to stand up.
“Where are you going?” Kyle asks, reaching out a hand to stop him.
“I’m gonna grab you some painkillers, maybe get a snack. You want anything?”
Kyle shakes his head, and Alex heads off to gather his items, listening to the sounds of the long-awaited storm rolling in. All the more reason to keep Kyle here, he thinks. 
He heads back to the living room, passing Kyle a bottle of ibuprofen and a hot mug of tea. He watches as Kyle takes the medicine (more pills than Alex would usually take, but Kyle’s a doctor, so Alex trusts that he knows what he’s doing) and wraps his hands around the steaming mug. He shivers a little, and Alex, without thinking, tugs a blanket off the back of the couch and carefully drapes it around Kyle’s shoulders. 
Kyle startles a little at the contact before relaxing into the warmth of the blanket with a light sigh. He stares into his mug of tea pensively for a few moments before he says, “thanks, Alex. For all of this.”
Alex nods, shifting to prop his legs up on the table. “Thanks for stopping my father.”
Kyle shifts uncomfortably. “He’s gonna wake up eventually,” he says. “I didn’t really think about that, I didn’t think-”
“Stop,” Alex cuts him off gently with a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, he’s out of the picture, and that’s good enough.”
“Okay,” Kyle agrees, leaning back against the couch. He looks exhausted, and rightfully so. Alex reaches for the remote, turning on the TV, as outside the first drops of rain begin to fall. 
“What’re we watching?” Kyle asks, setting down his relatively-untouched mug of tea and curling deeper into the blanket.
“Star Wars, Episode Four,” Alex says, grabbing a second blanket from under the table to drape across his legs. 
“Four? What about the first three?” Kyle asks, sounding legitimately concerned.
“It’s not like that,” Alex replies with a laugh. “This is the first one.”
“What-”
“Shh! It’s starting.”
Kyle raises his right hand in mock surrender. A deep rumble of thunder booms overhead, and he unconsciously leans into Alex, who scoffs slightly but allows it, carefully shifting himself to avoid jostling Kyle’s injury. It’s not quiet, not with the storm raging overhead, but it is peaceful. In the morning, it will not be. In the morning, the damage from tonight’s storm will become apparent, and they will have to begin repairing it, as best as they can. But for now, for just a moment, all is well. 
yeah so here was this brought about by my rewatch,,,,it may suck idk but i simply Had To Write It yknow?
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kaileymacwrites · 4 years ago
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Hi Folks!
I’m back. With a new username and a new blog.
I used to be OneAndOnlyJeff, now I’m KyleMacWrites, which feels like a more grown up username if I’m honest. It also feels like a statement of intent. OneAndOnlyJeff was a joke username suggested by a friend, whereas KyleMacWrites is my name and my hobby. A hobby I hope to turn into a career one day.
I plan to actually use my time here a little more constructively and talk about my WIPs, my OCs and occasionally fandoms, if the procrastination fever strikes me and I feel in the mood for another Doctor Who rewatch.
Feel free to ask me anything you like.
Kyle (or Jeff, but I prefer Kyle tbh)
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