#dumb text posts

[cloysterbell]

I like to keep an eye out for bumper stickers whenever I'm on a walk. Here are a few of my favorites

[dollyblcstar]

people say i don’t care enough

but i do care

i care about everything too much

[panncakesandwaffles]

(i'm thinking miku miku) oo ee oo (i look just like buddy holly)

[badboneszone]

Every time I see one of these my brain thinks “Chupacabra” and no amount of electroshock therapy is gonna change that.

[caryophilales]

I'm so sick in the head........ I was watching the latest dapg video at the gym and you're supposed to limit yourself to 30 minutes on the machines during peak hours so I was at 30 mins and 30 seconds doing a cool down when one of the trainers taps me on the hand and says "hey, I have a person here" and for a genuine sincere split second I thought she'd seen me watching dapg and was about to introduce me to Dan and Phil......... I was like why tf are they at a gym in Brooklyn of all places when in reality she just wanted the treadmill for her client 💀

[muzzable]

"God gives His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers" <- Guy getting motion sickness from trying to play the Spyro Reignited Trilogy

[bl4pe4r]

If the Pines twins had come to Gravity Falls for Christmas (next summer au version):

Bill became friends with Stanford again a long time ago, but unfortunately lost his demon powers. Now Bill is Ford's student and friend at the same time.

Mabel: COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!!! *Jumps over a lot of snowdrifts in order to get to the Mystery Shack*

Dipper: Yes, I'm coming... wait, I froze on the way here...

When they reached the Mystery Shack, they went inside and greeted each other warmly.

Uncle Stan: KIDS, WE NEED TO DECORATE THE CHRISTMAS PINETREE!

The children looked at each other, but Bill did not take his eyes off Dipper, smiling slyly.

Dipper: Don't you dare...

...

A couple of seconds later, a shout and laughter rang through the hut.

It was Bill chasing Dipper with a garland in his hands. "I'LL CATCH YOU ANYWAY, PINE TREE!" With these words, he ran after him further. While Mabel was helping Soos decorate the rest of the rooms, Bill and Dipper... They were fooling around. In the end, he caught up with Dipper and dressed him up like a Christmas tree. To prevent him from screaming for help ahead of time, he put duct tape over his mouth. Dipper couldn't move at all.

It was a kind of gift from Bill to the Pines family.

[yaoigoddess9158]

I know that, if I was in yttd (or Danganronpa) I wouldn’t survive one minute. If Shin has a 0.0% chance of surviving, I would have a -100.0% chance of surviving.

First of all, I’m not smart. I’m considerably stupid, actually. I’m too trusting, I’ve realized, and also too considerate. Even when picking choices in the games, I make sure to pick choices that wouldn’t hurt the other characters feelings and also choices that shows trust to them. Yes, the fictional characters. It hurts my heart to see them sad shut up

I’m also indecisive as shit (if that wasn’t obvious by the numerous amount of polls on this blog), to the point that just choosing options in the games, even if they won’t affect the story that much, would make me have to lean back in my chair for a moment and think about it. Mainly because I don’t want any characters to react badly to my choice

I’m a pushover too, if someone even slightly expressed that they would want one outcome, I would immediately go for that single outcome, even if it isn’t what I want. Because someone else wanted it. If someone asked me to do something I would do it with very little questions, and the questions would be about HOW TO DO THE ACTION. Like. If someone I liked asked me to steal from someone else (like their tokens or smth), I’d ask them how they expect me to do that. And maybe why. But if they don’t answer, I won’t push.

And then there’s my mindset. My first thought for surviving any kind of extreme disaster is: ‘Well. I wouldn’t’. Literally. It goes like this. Friend: “How would you survive the zombie apocalypse?” Me: “Hmm… I’d kill myself before a zombie could get to me” Friend: “oh.”

SO IMAGINE WHAT I’LL BE LIKE IF IT WAS REAL.

I’d be dead.

So dead.

And so embarrassingly fast too.

[writtenbyevie]

broke: see the table down below for an additional breakdown.

woke: look under your desk for the teenage girl in her 20s losing her mind

[a-witch-in-a-dumpster]

What I love the most with profile pictures is when someone has a picture of a fictional character I know, always picturing the character typing/saying the post

Sometimes it's deep, sometimes it's smart and sometimes it's "yep, that's them"

[cloysterbell]

Stacy's mom turned me into a frog

It's all I want, now I'm chilling on this log

Stacy can't you see you're just mad that you're not me

I know it might be wrong but I think this is pretty pog

[dollyblcstar]

i’m so fucking embarrassing and pathetic…

[consistencydotcom]

A headcanon i thought one day is that the real reason Lips wasnt on the wedding on muppets most wanted was because Constantine forgot he even existed so he didnt invite him

[badboneszone]

so I like geography but I was never taught the basics in school, which led to an awkward moment a few years back when I did a “wonders of the world” quiz on GeoGuessr with my brother. The first wonder was the Coliseum, which went something like

Me: “oh that’s in Rome… which is in…. ”

Me: *looks to brother*

Bro: “Italy. How do you not know that Rome is in Italy??”

Which like, yeah fair question, but then the next location is an ancient temple and I immediately go

“oh that’s a Wat! We’re in Cambodia”

And the best description I can give you of my brothers face at that moment was “emotional whiplash”

[celestialcow]

everytime tumblr logs me out, i inevitability have to make a new password bc i forget what it was last time

[muzzable]

Today is Friday the 13th! It is tradition to have bad luck on this day, and it's especially spooky since it's October! To celebrate, fall in a ditch