#kristen makes me so emo

[batsnipp]

betrayal has to happen before redemption

[esmeamesart]

‘Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul’

- Cassandra , Taylor Swift

Cassandra from fantasy high. Her relationship with Kristen makes me oughhhahhhhggbhh

[kxtio]

old textposts I made but I still think they’re funny part two

[figscigfigs]

my favorite moments of episode 3 of fantasy high junior year!!!:

riz gets a 30 to micromanage his friend’s futures (and the little folders)

“their record is bad but it should be worse” “he scores points!”

"it's made a pile that kristen uses as a nightstand" "i told you that in confidence"

MAZEY!!!!! (her name is so good. she is SO GOOD. also hot.)

the whole campaign bit. everytime anyone mentioned it i giggled “level with me, you got keys?”

“who’s this bitch” (kettlelily and ruben are my mortal enemies i hate these buttcrushers with my whole heart)

ADHD KRISTEN!!!

badidas

standing ovation 4 gilear!! (fig finding out gilear left from fabian is the most devastating thing in the world and they brushed over it)

GERMAN SHEPHERD MODE!!!!

jawbone diving to protect adaine and fig from the earthquake

“if there’s one thing i know when love is in the air there should be a tiny emergency”

“hey girlie”

gorgug, famous rockstar trying to explain music to his teacher

adaine’s wizard teacher making grade bets on her prophecies

KRISTEN’S BROTHER!!!!!!! (i could murder her parents i hate them so much)

“where was your god”

everything about the bard class (the “i just act really cute and tiny”, the emo flirting, the wanda'd in, the "i've been emotionally trespassed before", the bard teacher desperately searching for fig/thinking wanda was fig for a split second/awestruckenly welcoming her in through the window) emily axford i pledge my soul to you

THE FANTASY FBI BEING CALLED ON FIG FOR HER CONSTANT DISGUISES

the kristen and cass conversation was too real and too much for me

[deconstructthesoup]

Okay, everything about this finale made me ricochet through a thousand different emotions (and seeing the Cathilda art was just the icing on the cake), but what it did give me, first and foremost, is a concept for a season with the High 5 Heros.

It really is just the five of them now, and they're still processing Kipperlilly's betrayal and the lasting effects of the shatterstars. In an attempt to fully reconnect as friends and prove themselves as adventurers, they retake their spring break quest... and things spiral out from there.

Ruben (played by Raphael Chestang) doesn't remember anything from when he was shatterstared, but he still has all those fans who want to hear more of the emo music he wrote... and even though having attention is good for a bard, he's very upset about the fact that nobody wants to hear his real music. Ruben's starting to get a lot of self-confidence issues based on the fact that the guy that he doesn't even know but who he briefly was was so popular, and he's trying to be himself, but, well... it's hard.

Ivy (played by Mariah Rose Faith Callias) is... well, actually, the fact that she wasn't shown as often in the season means that her player can make up an arc from scratch for her, and I like that. Let's leave that up in the air. Maybe she's trying to reconcile her stint as a mean girl with her true self, or maybe her mean-girl self is closer to her true nature than we think.

Mary Ann (played by Katie Marovich) is still, at her core, Mary Ann, and I like the idea of her arc being less of an arc and more of a reassurance thing---this is who she is, she's not apologizing for it, and that doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve the same amount of respect. That'd be pretty cool to see.

Oisin (played by Joey Richter) is dealing with... a lot. Seeing as his actions led to getting his great-great-great-great-whatever grandmother killed, his family has not outright disowned him, but there's a lot of snide comments and clear disrespect being thrown his way. He's trying his hardest to prove that he's better than that, but, uh... yeah, I think it would end in a "fuck my rich asshole family" thing, much like Adaine's arc.

And lastly, Lucy (played by Ashley Johnson) is, of course, very shaken by the fact that she legit died, and spent a good chunk of her death in a hellish state. Her connection to her goddess has wavered after her experience, and she's very much in a space of doubt---maybe a space that's big enough for her to connect to Cassandra, and maybe share in Kristen's four-deity pantheon. Not to mention, it's still very hard to interact with her friends when she still remembers the night of her death, even though they were possessed.

So, uh... yeah!

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 6

Post Shrimp Jump Conspiracy Board Special

Hey y’all! Welcome back to Seacaster Manor where the shrimp party is still raging and the Bad Kids are balancing being cooler than ever with some serious sleuthing. We get a lot of new information this episode so I wanted to try out a new format for this week. I often talk in a metaphorical way about putting items up on a Conspiracy Board but I want to actually try that now that we’re a little over a quarter of the way in and have multiple overarching things happening. This is going to be a lot less linear than usual but bear with me. Gotta shake things up a little so I don’t get burnt out! There’s still fourteen more episodes to go! 

The Rat Grinders

The Bad Kids’ de facto rival party got a lot of screen time in this episode, which makes sense: Adaine declared the party their nemeses over Goldenhoard or anyone else they’ve fought, which is saying a lot. Before this point, we knew the following facts about them:

1) They got their name because the only enemies they’re recorded as killing are low level ones (including rats) that they grind in the woods behind the school, showing a willingness to follow the letter but not spirit of the rules but also an impressive amount of dedication. 

2) Their leader seems to be rogue, Kipperlily Copperkettle who is type A as hell and has a LOT of free time to kill having found the rogue professor (or at least having the rogue professor find her). She’s running for class president on a platform based around “fairness” which is a theme that’s come up more than once this season. 

3) Also on the team are emo Bard Reuben (who seems to be related to the new Artificing teacher and who shares an agent with Fig) and nonplussed Barbarian Mary Ann (who is buffing herself magically somehow).

4) Kipperlily specifically asked about where Kristen was able to create a new god. Now how, where. An odd question. 

This episode, we learned a lot more, so let's throw them on the board and make some connections!

5) The Rat Grinders have a new cleric named Buddy Dawn (something Kristen’s brother mentioned two episodes ago). He’s from Highcourt and moved with his grandparents. He’s got super Mormon+Southern “Bless Your Heart” energy and Kristen doesn’t like how familiar it feels. His vibes are clocked as well meaning but kinda judgey. 

6) Buddy Dawn was *specifically requested* by the party. Of course, requesting a cleric isn’t weird–why wouldn’t you want one? And Helioism seems a pretty common religion in the region so odds are good that if you get a cleric is would be a Helioic one. But, paired with KP’s question about Kristen, it makes you wonder if the plan is to recruit a Kristen expy and try to get lightning to strike twice.  

7) At the beer pong table, we meet the RG’s archer who is an elf named Ivy Embra. She’s got some flirty, catty energy (which we see when she interacts with Fabian and Mazey respectively).

8) We also meet the party wizard, Oisin Hakinvar, who is a Conjuration specialist with a focus in summoning. He’s a blue dragonborn which means that he has a great great great (etc) blue dragon ancestor he can ping when he needs barrels of diamonds, no problem. He has so many in fact that when Adaine lies badly that she’s also swimming in diamonds, he kindly offers to let her borrow some of his “extras”. But she turns them down, calls him great, and then panics and runs away to commiserate with Fabian who is also panicking about a flirty moment with Ivy. Oisin, for his part, seems driven to distraction and can’t make a single other shot all night. Cute! But–

9) As much as I want to wholeheartedly love Oisin (and honestly do and will until I am given direct evidence to change my mind) I have to point out that KVX, known evil bank, did change its logo from red (Goldenhoard’s color) to blue (Oisin’s Ancestor’s color) and there is a shot in the trailer of the party fighting a blue dragon. Connected? Maybe.

10) From investigating some yearbooks, the party also learns that the Rat Grinders have existed since Freshman Year but, at the time, they were called the High Five Heroes. They all look a lot more smiley and a lot less intense–Rebuen’s not even emo. It was the lineup from above, minus Buddy and plus a frost Genasi cleric named Lucy Frostblade. They learn that she supposedly died in their Sophomore year but specifically during a period near the end of the year where grades are locked and it wouldn’t affect their party comp which is…convenient. 

11) Fig tries to investigate this by disguising herself as Lucy and seeing how Ivy and Oisin react. Only Ivy sees her but she doesn’t seem shocked at all to see her allegedly dead party member She just raises an eyebrow and ditches the game to talk to her. Fig bails (and rolls only a 12 to stealth away) so we don’t get any extra info but just the fact that Ivy reacted that way is pretty juicy info as is.  

12) The other Rat Grinders don’t seem to be at the party but the members are skeptical about that. On the other hand, when Ivy leaves, it’s because Oisin pulls her aside and says, “Kipperlilly’s calling”. So it’s possible there was a Team A and a Team B for whatever the Rat Grinders were doing that night?

13) And speaking of what they're doing, we do have a theory. When Fabian checks some damage in the basement where Max and some other kids were smoking "gorgenfern" he sees that something called a cloud rider engine was smashed up pretty bad and in a suspicious way–gorgenfern doesn’t make you rowdy. Fabian checks the security tapes he obviously has and sees that some ice mephits came in and riled people up to the point of crashing into the engine. Adaine conjured some earlier in the party and as far as her arcana check can tell, they’re here, but there’s suspicion that Oisin–a conjuration wizard–could have done it. It’s certainly within his skillset. A cloud rider engine allows a vehicle to fly on clouds and it’s not clear if it was simply smashed or if something was stolen from it. 

14) Max isn’t a Rat Grinder but he did ask them all if they wanted to smoke with him and Ivy offered Fabian snuff so Riz is suspicious that the RG’s are trying to get them kicked out of school for drug use now that they have a non-Aguefort principal who presumably cares about silly rules like that at the murder school. 

That’s basically what we know about the Rat Grinders! So, to sum it up, I’d say the conspiracy board bullet points are:

Supposedly dead cleric Lucy Frostblade: What actually happened to her and why isn’t Ivy surprised to see “her”?

New cleric Buddy Dawn: Why was he specifically requested? 

The High Five Heroes: What caused them to turn into the Rat Grinders? And, as they seem like they were more gung ho their first year, why did they never pivot to fighting things other than low level monsters?

Do they actually have beef with the Bad Kids specifically or are their vibes just terrible? Were they trying to sabotage them by offering drugs? Did they break the engine on purpose and, if so, why?

Oisin: Is he chill or is he working an angle? That question technically goes to Ivy as well but I’m almost certain she’s fully working an angle, lol. I’m getting straight up Aelwyn vibes from her.

Class President: What is KP’s angle re: running for class president? This seems like something she’d want to do either way with her personality but her policy of fairness dovetails too neatly with Grix’s appearance and Cassandra’s inability to say the phrase, “It’s not fair,” last episode.

How did KP find the rogue professor and is that relevant?

And finally, why did KP want to know about where Kristen created her Freshman year god? Well, that question may be partially answered in our next section. 

God Stuff

There is a lot going on this season with celestial shenanigans between Cassandra and Galicaea and even Yes! So let’s mark out what we know.

1) Cassandra was possessed by some kind of rage entity via crystal shards that were expelled from her body. Her status is kind of up in the air right now as the party was shunted away to safety by Connor Counterspell (RIP) and all Kristen has left of Cass are some glowing, purple shards. 

2) Earlier in the fight, while lucid, Cassandra said, “I thought you were dead” about some unseen entity. Later, Kristen heard from a creepy voice that said, “She is at my side once more”. It then threatened her and slid out the rotting corpse of Yes! as a sick joke. Likely that these are the same person or at least connected. 

3) Gorgug identified that the rage stars are similar to what’s going on with Ragh’s mom, Lydia so it was put on the docket to get in touch with her about that–especially because Kalina specifically told them to track down Ragh with her last lucid words. 

4) Tracker’s Galicaea rebrand is going really well. Her social media is really popping and the endless night probably didn’t hurt. 

5) Kristen on the other hand, hasn’t been doing so hot. Due to a bunch of negligence based in lack of time management and personal uncertainty, she hasn’t been evangelizing much which means only she and Craig stand between Cass and her permanent destruction. 

6) Kristen can’t contact Cass telepathically and says she can’t use her magic which is Not Great if you're as danger prone as the Bad Kids. 

Alright, that’s all the old business so let’s move to the new business. 

7) When Kristen talked to her parents, we learned that Helio doesn’t have a chosen one since she left but we learn that it’s more serious than that. Helio also can’t choose a new chosen one. He only gets one. With Kristen gone, the whole religion is without a chosen one.

8) At a certain point, Tracker finally gets a hold of Kristen and says some harsh but true things about Kristen but, more relevant to the conspiracy board, she talks about her girlfriend Nara and Adaine, as a fellow high elf, clocks her as coming from a family of moon goddess clerics in Falinel. That raises the question: is this run of the mill teenage rebellion a la the theme song, or is she some kind of plant? We’ll hopefully get some more info from Aelwyn since Adaine texted her about it.

9) The real juicy stuff happens when we talk to Ragh’s mom. The fiend in Lydia's gem is called Bakur. Her having him in there doesn't make her rage--she's raging to keep him trapped but that's it. Her personality is the same. 

10) Bakur was a pit fiend and the right hand guy of a dead god whose name we don't know (hmm, another dead and nameless god). Bakur can't even say the god's name. It's like, weird god rules and Lydia explains in a weird vague way: gods not being able to use loopholes and saying names being powerful and rules changing for non-mortals when gods die.

11) The one very concrete info we get is that a god can only come back in a place where they were born or created. The reason Bakur’s plan failed is that he tried to bring back the nameless god in the Red Waste and not where they were created. 

12) Rana (Lydia’s party cleric) is away and Cormyr (the party sorcerer) is dead but Lydia offers to put the party in touch with Rana and Cormyr’s family because they have more stuff related to this and they were the ones who knew more about this than her. 

Following? Good. So let’s distill this down to bullets again:

Holy Helio. The corn god doesn’t have a chosen one anymore because Kristen up and left. What does that mean in a concrete sense? What can a chosen one do that a normal cleric can’t? Is Helio gonna ask Kristen to do anything this season now that we know that this is a special position that only one person can fill? Is it until she dies (or at least dies for real)? Would a fanatical Helioic person try and kill Kristen to open up that slot?

KP specifically asking WHERE Cassandra was created seems clearly tied to the info Lydia gave about only being able to resurrect a god where it was created. But what does that mean exactly? Is she trying to resurrect the same god as Bakur? Did she just assume that wherever Kristen made her god is probably where most gods are made and, thus, her best bet? What’s her angle? Is this an evil plan for just a “this will get me a good grade” plan?

Where in the world is Cassandra right now? She is MIA right now which means Kristen’s powers are too. Though I wonder if she can draw on those shards to cast spells.

We obviously can’t be sure but it seems like the voice Kristen heard and the person that Cass thought was dead is likely that unnamed god. What’s his deal? I’m sure we’ll have more info for this bullet soon. 

Is Tracker’s new girlfriend Nara, much like Ecaf, a turncoat? 

With Helio, Cass, and Galicaea all being in the mix, is there any kind of family angle being played. It doesn’t come up a ton but they are very much related. 

MISC

This is a section for a few points that don’t yet fit under the main two headings of the season but still need to go up on the board. 

Why would Aguefort program a robot that acts like Grix? Is he supposed to be like or is he hacked? If he is hacked, who would be able to do that? The new artificing teacher? The old one?

We learn that Aguefort has made a lot of contradicting proclamations and all of them are canon, so you’re able to pick and choose what you want to cite (I feel like I’m in law school again). Lots of room for loopholes which could be useful later. 

Adaine, while very drunk, had an oracle vision of Kristen at a birthday party, giving a victory speech to a bunch of teens on election night as a crescent moon hangs in the sky. The Crescent moon potentially gives them a time frame if they look into it (and it specifically being mentioned makes me think of Galicaea even though not every moon thing has to be connected to her). And we know Gorgug’s birthday is near the Frosty Folk festival so maybe that’s why the hats.

Speaking of, we know there’s a connection between Riz’s mom defending someone for money crimes re: that Festival and Gorgug’s parents hosting it so that’s something to remember. 

This isn’t something for the pin board per se but this season introduces a stress token system for downtime! I’m sure I’ll talk about it more when we use it for the first time next ep but, for now, gotta say he’s really ramping up the pressure on our kids! And, to that point, let’s do a quick check in with everyone and see what they’re up against!

Character Board

Adaine

-Adaine is still facing major money troubles. After last episode, not only is her job terminated, but she actually owes 2.5 gold for her uniform. 

-It looks like she might be developing a bit of a crush on the cute dragonborn (yay) but he’s a Rat Grinder (nooooo). I will say though, cross party romance could be a lot of fun and also my favorite NPC in this show is Aelwyn whose top 2 traits are famously Criminal and Loves Adaine so I am honestly fine with this either way lol. 

-Speaking of Aelwyn, I’ll put the sister stuff together: When Adaine calls her to ask for dirt on Nara she says, “Working, will call in five.” And when Adaine questions the fact that it's 5am on a Saturday, Adaine just gets a winky face emoji back. Suspicious! 

Fabian

-Fabian has to juggle the new 150% course load (bard/fighter) as well as his new party house reputation.

-He has a lack of adult supervision which also means a lack of adult care and it seems to be affecting him more than he’s willing to let on. 

-But honestly his biggest obstacle is probably himself right now, lol. He made himself a new nemesis in Gertie Bladshield and I am not confident he can handle this honey trap mission with Ivy without the tables being turned on him. 

Riz

-Riz is also facing money troubles, but for him that’s kind of business as usual unfortunately.

-He has a TON of extracurriculars to keep track of but he so far seems to be handling it pretty well and is picking up some interesting allies (that double as votes for Kristen’s campaign–campaign manager is also an extracurricular he’s taken up): the aforementioned Gertie Bladeshield (Apiary Club), Sprak LeFevre (Aviation Club), and Molman Holden (Soil Club). Always good to have new allies and Aviation Club seems like it could be really useful later! I can see him making some luck checks to successfully say, “I know a guy” in a tight spot based on how many clubs he’s joined. 

-He also has the Reliable Talent ability now which means he’s incapable of rolling lower than a 21 on things he’s proficient in which includes Investigation. We’re about to be getting some INSANE lore dumps. 

Gorgug

-Gorgug has his insane 400% courseload happening and I didn’t notice this until it was pointed out to me but Zac actually leveled Gorgug DOWN in Barbarian to take an extra level of Artificer! That’s commitment. But I can’t imagine Porter, who already has a problem with him, is gonna like that. 

Fig

-Fig would hate it if I didn’t start this list by saying that she hella misses Ayda and that’s her biggest problem. 

-But she also has her album to worry about and we actually get the bombshell during a conversation with Mazey that she’s not even sure that she still wants to be a bard.

-On top of that, she’s taking Barb and Warlock classes along with the Bard classes she’s finally going to. 

-She has her gnarly Gilear curse happening that’s seemingly connected to whoever the boss who owns the pride armor is. 

-She has beef with Rebuen and is living her double life as Wanda Childa to try and learn whatever she can about him/the Rat Grinders. 

-Both she and Wanda are wanted by the Solace FBI.  

-On a positive note, she really endeared herself to Mazey by sweetly sticking up for her when Ivy was being catty. If Fig wasn’t so devoted to Ayda I could have read their interaction at the end of the ep as flirty. Regardless, nice moment and great ally. 

Kristen

-Welp, her god is, if not dead, MIA which is arguably the biggest deal of anything on any of these lists, especially since it’s tied to her magic AND her grade. 

-Next of course is the potato to her meat on her plate: her campaign. But that’s actually going really well, especially after this party. Her biggest issue is whether or not she can get Fetty Wap to homecoming and, lbr, in a pinch Fig can just disguise herself as him. When has that ever not worked?

-She also has this unnamed god (or whoever it is) taunting her and threatening her specifically which isn’t ideal. 

-But I honestly think she was more fucked up by the conversation which Tracker where her ex basically outlined everything she needs to get together in her life and then posted a pre-written pic with her new girlfriend. That’s gotta sting. 

And that’s it! I wanted to focus on the specific nuggets of info we got this episode and start to connect them with what we knew so far. Different format, I know, but I’m feeling experimental this season and I might switch it up a few more times as Junior Year goes on. I love covering Fantasy High but, like I said at the top, I have to keep it fresh so I don’t burn out. See you next time when Brennan makes the stress we’re all feeling an actual game mechanic! Fun!

[dnpoll]

my personal explanations below the cut!

also i scheduled this poll and i realised i forgot ARIANA GRANDE that's deep lore... GOD

muse: one of the things that dan and phil bonded over when they met each other - phil's favourite artist with his streams making it dan's top artist from 2014-2016. they have also seen muse at least five times! dan has played muse songs several times on the piano (specifically sunburn) + they did a lip sync video to muse for bbc radio. also they made fun of kristen stewart a lot when they were younger (they have since apologised and called her an iconic) and she was in twilight and muse supermassive black hole is famously in twilight so...

final fantasy vii: the soundtrack with interrupted by fireworks! dan said it reminded him of phil in a formspring answer <3 and that's all...

fall out boy: firstly "no but seriously imagine if:". secondly they have interviewed fob several times for the bbc! thirdly, specifically with pete wentz, he was dan's icon in his teenage years. he followed dan because of the interviews with him - he even prank called dan in call or delete. but as punishment in a best friend quiz video, phil tweeted "sometimes i dream about being one of the reindeer galloping through the sky with leather straps tying me to my friends mm yes carrots please" from dan's account - and pete wentz unfollowed fob. i am also convinced they think the milk fic is a petekey fic or something

the 1975: dan and phil called into the radio as fans when they were not hosting and the 1975 was there! dan said he was there with "his friend phil" and matty healy immediately recognised them as "dan and phil from the radio" despite them trying to be sneaky about it. dan also LOVED a brief inquiry into online relationships which he posted on his story and said he was "personally attacked by literally every song on the album". mm okay

my chemical romance: firstly "no but seriously imagine if". secondly dan specifically was/is a huge fan of mcr - although phil did sing welcome to the black parade (incorrectly) in a yasuhati video). mcr was also referenced in dan and anthony padilla's stop emo hate video, basically i'm gay and the dream daddy series, just to name a few (they g note a LOT). also hesitant alien featured in the tour of dan's brain video! gerard used to follow dan on twitter but doesn't anymore... beef?

panic! at the disco: firstly "no but seriously imagine if". also brendon and ryan are in the milk fic which they constantly reference. also there's a dnp edit with 57k views to house of memories

frank ocean: dan's top song in 2012 was "thinkin about you" by frank ocean which ppl talk abt a lot for many reasons. he also said his religion was frank ocean in 2016 LOL

troye sivan: YOUTUBE FRIENDS LOL - the iconic pic with dan, phil, troye and tyler! also dan and phil were the first people to play troye sivan's happy little pill on the radio, and are thus partially responsible for his success. troye sivan also led to chappell roan's success, so basically muse is responsible for chappell roan. troye also featured in a phil glasses video!

one direction: firstly, dnp interviewed them - a harrowing event that they outline in detail in tabinof. secondly, the iconic dan eating an orange picture behind a 1d concert. lastly, they talk about harry styles quite a bit - phil posed as him in a viewers pick my outfit, and of course the rotisserie chicken situation

nick jonas: hey buddy you in london #dick

smash mouth: more recent dan-based lore but mark (tour member) made an instagram story asking how to get all-star licensed. a phannie (royalsdnp on twt) then tweeted about it, and smash mouth (the twt account) saw it. dan then tweeted at the account asking for it, and it worked! smash mouth is now an official dannie, having tweeted orange for wad, and also offered the original demo for shrek to be used, saying it can maybe be for dan's next special. generally insane because dan has ofc always been a huge shrek fan as a part of his meme personality in the 2010s, even dressing up as him for a calendar

[halevren]

FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 3

Had a rough week so far, I am looking forward to this episode ♡

HIIIIII INTREPID HEROES

NAT 20

please bring ayda back this episode (begging) (I know it won't happen. but I'm desperate)

ZELDA AND GORGUG BREAK UP CONFIRMED.....

I am experiencing so much gender envy from literally everyone at the table.

The art team really pulled out all the stops for this season. The dome backdrop is so good

THIRTY INVESTIGATION?!!!??!

"Of course you and Adaine, of course, are... Nerds."

"Not ideal for the bad kids" oh no.

Lone Wolf Bloodrush player. That's oc material fr

"I like getting friends cast on me so I willingly fail" fig becomes more and more relatable every episode

"IT'S 10 AND I GIVE YOU THE HELP ACTION"

LYDIA!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

LYDIA MADE THEM LUNCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE EMO SONG 😭😭😭

It just says "Hey Adaine" on the inside 😭😭

Cloaca.....

how many binders do the Thistlesprings have

"Can I Run From You?"

Just Breathe

CHLOE SHORT FOR CLOACA

I love the casual conversation they have

TWO GLASSES OF MILK

"I'll walk you to Bard class" fig probably won't be staying 😭

NEW LUNCH LAD!!!!!

I hope Fig's luck issue gets resolved soon 😭

MAZEY IS SO PRETTY

Grix...??

THE PARROTS.....

omg mazey x fabian?!!?!?!????!?!?!!?!

A SECRET CLOACA WITH A GUN??

Jawbone is so filled with dad lore

Kristen class president is something I need

21 passive investigation is insane

"What are you, like 4 different dogs?"

Passive Aggressive Kristen is so good.

Ghost steaks 🔥

FABIAN FLIRTING

"You're looking at a party boy" oh fabian....

I think Kristen working to be class president will convince her to. Go to school and work on getting better at it

Gilear 😢 I miss my pathetic wet cat of a man

fig writer's block so relatable

Stressed Riz

WANDA CHILDA

HEYYYYYY GIRLIE

I miss Ayda

Porter is kinda.... ♡

Why is everyone so attractive why must I be attracted to all the adults. im supposed to have a type

"I'm going into a worry, yeah"

Fig taking Fabian to the wizard class instead of bard class is so real

TERPSICHORE SKULLCLEAVER!!!!!! she looks like she bakes incredible cookies. I can't dance but I want to be in her class

THIRTY-ONE????????? PERFORMANCE

Dance bard class is so cool

From Jock to Arsty kid, I love Fabian's character development so much

"I'm going to do a lot less partying" a full lie from Fabian

I need more Riz and Jawbone one on ones

KRISTEN CHILLIS APPLEBEES 😭😭😭😭

oh no the Applebees fam are here oh no...

Ripped Kristen approaching her parents.....

oh no. oh no. oh no.

Not good what is going on with Cassandra

MAKE HER OWN PEOPLE TO TALK TO?!!!??!???!??!?? WHAT???????? WHAT WHAT WHAT????

ALLY IS SO CASUAL WITH NAT 20S 😭

HE'S A LITTLE PALADIN....

BYE GIRLIE

RIZ HAS A BACKUP TIE

why is sorcery so expensive

SHE'S NOT GOING TO TELL JAWBONE 😭

oh god Wanda Childa....

"what smell would be enticing to emo kids" 😭😭😭

"Did you just come from a room full of cigarettes and peach schnapps" "you mean breakfast?"

I wanda'd in

NOT ALL WHO WANDA ARE LOST

SITTING OUTSIDE AND LISTENING TO BARD CLASS

watching Kristen deal with school and stuff and deal with Cassandra makes me slightly uncomfortable. not in a bad way but in a way that I relate to it a bit too much and it's a bit too real. i too had extreme trouble with school and I also have issues with pushing important people away when trying to focus on myself and it ruins a lot of my relations. I relate to Kristen too much in the worst ways and that hits closer to home than I like. I love Kristen but man. Too close

"Things can be bad, and things can be good, but they all can be true."

I worry about Kristen going to Cassandra's realm. I am going into a worry. I have bad feeling.

the sound design is so good

GENTLE SOBBING.... OH NO. OH NO.

"I can't rely on you." OUCH.

she already found somebody????

KALINA!?!?!?! !!??!?!?!!!???!??!!??!!???!!???!?? HUHHHHH?!!??!!

IT'S LEAVING IT OFF WITH THAT?????? WHAT THE FUCK???????? WHAT THE FUCK???????????????????????? WHAT?????

[awgeezitsthetoiletnator]

your mind !!!!!!!! literally it's that its the desperate plea of them both being like this meant something to us both??? it didn't just irrevocably change my world view alone right? and now i've got to pretend to be normal about it because we are forever linked in the same circle like!?!?!?!

this is why i feel so unnormal about them both- Tracker being a crutch for Kristen when they were dating because her whole life has been her living a lie. She's moving in because she can't be with her parents but I'm sure she wonders if it's just because they are girlfriends. I wonder how Kristen feels about living in Mordred and Jawbone being one of her guardians (not even mentioning how she struggles playing like a child role- being that shield for her brothers and how we often see her square up to Sandra Lynn) now they aren't together, like does she feels out of place there? I also think that feeling of being out of place was echoed in the recent episode of oh Kristen's address hasn't been changed either- like none of the parental figures in Mordred did that for her- especially Jawbone who works at the school and would have know that was kinda important.

Similarly I think Kristen provided that role on Sophmore year (even being in a messy arc) to Tracker of being that support and the one who does listen to her. Like I wonder how Tracker felt when Adaine & then Fig joined the household- because she's no longer getting priority attention from Jawbone since he's so busy. Yes she's very independent but that's because she's had to be. Even looking after Jawbone before he got better- like they did live together she's probably seen the ins and outs of all his business. The way I see her definitely has a heavy influence from you recommending scream by beach bunny for Tracker because wow- just incredible no notes. Her just moving on to looking after Kristen- like to make herself feel useful and needed- like when she gets brought along for spring break she's like oh I thought you were going to abandon me. Like. Head in hands. My poor girl. (Tracker being an npc is so hard i need all her lore now brennan)

I think it's also why it's so like explosive with the withholding stuff about Jawbone because her and Kristen have become this codependent team because there is so much going on its like oh your my person right now and you still did this, you know all these things and yet my feelings weren't considered & were pushed aside.

Like even after this happens- Kristen then starts unravelling Tracker's religion through finding Cassandra. Which tears them apart. They are both so influential in each other's lives its so crazy.

Apologies for the ramble as this might all be so incoherent but i just have so many thoughts on them and their dynamics- but I think it's like the tragedy aspect of it all that is so aligned with this music. Like the greater the risk the higher the reward and all that- they are built up to be so life changing that the fall consistently follows them. Like we haven't spoke in months but I'm still happy that your religious uprising is going well- even in my commune with my own Goddess you still linger there too. (Not even getting into the Goddess being sisters it's just so much)

Like the Bang the Doldrums line of better off as lovers and not the other way around vs Kristen trying to be normal about calling them friends to her cleric teacher. Just rattling them in my brain for real. I also like Bros by Wolf Alice for them because it's such energy of like If i did come back would you still be there? I know it's selfish of me to ask but would you do it anyway. And definitely less emo but Renegade by Big Red Machine gives them so much. like specifically the post chorus and second verse. again sorry for the ramble but these new episodes are just making me think so intensely about them :P

please never ever apologize for sending such thoughtful asks to my inbox!! i’m sorry it took me so long to reply, but you gave me so much for think about…

- you’re so right about how layered and complicated kristen’s feelings on living at mordred must be now. they were probably a lot easier to overlook when she and tracker were together. the current status shift of “i’m living with my partner” to “i’m crashing with my friends” is wild to me. while i think sandra lynn and jawbone do their best to be good parents for the teens living in their house, there’s just so many of them that it’s probably be easier to parent the ones that usually lean on them for help (adaine) or show clear red flags (fig). (i know this is most likely because beardsley was the one who started the tremors bit during the last episode, but the way jawbone leapt up to protect adaine and fig but not kristen gave me pause. not because jawbone (or brennan for that matter) did anything wrong, but it made me wonder how many little things like that must happen every day in front of kristen and how she might feel about it). given kristen’s reluctance to their parenting and tracker’s personal, recent experience with leaving the church of sol, tracker probably seemed like the best person equipped to support kristen, even if it put her in a weird, uncomfortable corner where she is constantly caring for the person who is supposed to be her main carer as well - although it’s never as reciprocal as it should be. tracker leans heavily on her own experience to try and help kristen, which is why she works so hard to support kristen in establishing her church. she wants kristen to experience the deep, primal connection to YES!? that she experiences with galicaea, but it’s not the necessarily the same situation as kristen is the sole cleric responsible for her gods. due to how much is resting only on her shoulders, kristen’s issues always seem to eclipse tracker’s, but that doesn’t make it fair. tracker tries to help in the way she knows how and it’s still not enough. i’m so excited to learn more about why tracker wants to talk to kristen in the present day. in part, it’s probably because at some point they will be living in the same house again and they should be on good terms. but i also wonder if tracker sees the same pattern with kristen’s gods that cassandra does, and wants to offer kristen an out of her current situation by asking her to join the wolfsong revival. i don’t think there’s any universe out there where kristen would have ever chosen galicaea over cassandra when that path was first offered to her in sophomore year, but tracker could argue that lots of things have changed since that initial offer. in joining her, kristen would be one of many clerics and share the burden of responsibility for keeping a god alive. and maybe that’s a way they can actually be together again. 👀

- kristen’s aversion to being parented is so fascinating to me that it needs to be its own list item. it feels so relatable as an experience of an eldest daughter who’s been parentified for longer than she can remember. because i don’t even think it’s an aversion to being parented really - i think she’s expecting to be treated as a child in a way that’s familiar to her. when you combine kristen’s eldest daughter position with her status as the golden child due to her connection to helio, it’s not a far reach to say that the applebees treated kristen closer to another adult in the family than a child when she lived at home. i’m guessing she was privy to way more information and it was her job to shield and distract her brothers from it or filter it in a way that her parents approved. this is one of the reasons why i think she struggled so much while questioning her faith - her parents had always communicated with her in a straight and simple fashion and this suddenly shifted to unsatisfactory, emotional answers to her questions. (granted, i don’t think any answers the applebees would have given would be satisfactory based on how stuck they are in their worldview, but they jumped really quickly into just shutting kristen down instead of actually hearing her out) i think she’s seeking out that kind of straightforward parent-child relationship she used to have with her parents when she approaches sandra lynn after the tryst with garthy, like “tell me what’s going on and we’ll find the best way to share this with the rest of the kids.” i know that moment is followed by a “classic ally chaos moment” of kristen asking for whiskey, but i wonder if there’s a way to recontextualize it here. maybe she sees herself falling into an old pattern. maybe she can’t resist the temptation of actually being treated like a child instead of a pseudo-adult. maybe she’s worried that whatever answer sandra lynn could give her isn’t worth her positioning herself like this. no one wants sandra lynn and kristen to bond this season more than me i’m awake at night wishing as hard as i can believe me when i say this but i do think that she’s still trying to be a shield to the best of her ability from afar. i think the underlying question behind kristen’s decisions now when it comes to her brothers is “how do i turn the selfish action of leaving them behind into the best decision for everyone in the end without compromising my own autonomy or putting them in a situation where they get hurt?” she stays away from the applebees house so that her brothers don’t have to deal with the tension she would inevitably bring with her. she leaves them gold but without a note so her parents can’t interrogate them about their contact with her. and even in the last episode - choosing to simply confuse her parents and keep her cool instead of actively arguing with them is interestingly as calculated as it is chaotic because she probably comes off as less of a threat to bucky’s devotion to helio and more as a neutral eccentric. for now, it’s easier on everyone in that house if she is cast as someone whose head isn’t screwed on straight rather than a complete villain.

- i too would love to know more about tracker. all of your questions about how she might have felt when jawbone’s attention shifted from her to adaine and fig are right on the money. add all the codependency with kristen to the mix, it makes me wonder if tracker feels like she missed out on having deeper, possibly sisterly friendships with adaine and fig. i think trackerbees being so joined at the hip resulted in her holding fig and adaine at arm’s length as “kristen’s friends” as opposed to new family members. it’s telling that she only chose to leave mordred once she was certain that she could trust that jawbone would be safe with the people surrounding him AND that they were taking care of him as much as he was taking care of them. i don’t think she was waiting for something to go wrong per say, but the fact is that something DID go wrong and her instinct to hang around was justified. she watches sandra lynn and jawbone reconcile and that point in time happens to coincide with her decision to start the wolfsong revival and then she’s finally ready to leave with ragh at her side - the only other teen she allowed herself to get close to probably by accident bc they spent a good deal of time together when the PCs were off on bad kids only mini-missions during spring break. (also how are they going to share ragh. i’m hoping it’s all cordial in the end but how do you share a person who was a bodyguard / confidant for one of you but also was the cofounder of the lgbtq+ student union / honorary party member for the other for much longer than that. how do you do that) i’m so curious about her place in the birth order, but given that we’ve never heard about any siblings, i’m inclined to believe she’s an only child and it seems to fit. i’m an eldest daughter with a couple of only children as best friends and the dynamic of how straightforward tracker is in her actions while kristen is constantly playing 4D chess in her head to figure out the best solution for everyone rings very true for me. we know that her parents kicked her out after she was bitten, but she didn’t stray super far - not even outside the same pantheon of gods. granted, I think the lycanthropy made galicaea a natural fit for her, but i don’t think the journey to get there took as long as kristen’s journey to YES!? two sides of the same coin and all that

- ANYWAYS. the music of it all. i completely agree with your assessment of the tragedy and risk that emo music usually lends itself to, but i also like your other recs here! i was racking my brain trying to think of where i’d heard bros before - it was featured in the life is strange prequel (that also happens to center around another tragic sapphic couple). i absolutely love renegade for them and it made me think of “the 1” - another swift / dessner collab that feels very of the moment for them. i think about them a lot when i’m listening to adult mom. most songs i feel apply directly to one or the other, but i feel like “checking up” from their most recent album feels very attuned to their relationship right before they broke up when tracker was first on the road.

for anyone who has made it this far down, thank you for coming for my ted talk! i guess i have a lot more thoughts about these two than i knew. thank you again @sabrirene for sending this in!

[asexual-disaster]

‼️FHJY EP 3 SPOILERS‼️

all my thoughts of episode three

AS PER MURPH LOOKS SO GOOD

as does lou

Riz literally biking to school with everyone’s files to make sure they can make it through the year !! stop he’s so cute

and then you and Adaine are nerds

actually for the wizards I’m super chill

riz literally finding out what college they could all get into!!!

figs multiclassing appears to be undocumented, how would her bard teacher know that she multiclassed if she never goes to class

me and riz would write three essays each

the lone wolf. his record is not as bad as it should be

‘i cast friends on both of you just to get you in the car’

‘it’s a 10 and i’ll give you the help action’

‘fluffier than mine?’

LYDIA IS MY LOVE, MY FAVOURITE MORHER (except u sklonda)

‘you guys missed this, song of the summer! kids are going nuts’ ‘this emo song starts over the radio’ proceeds to play the hardest song i’ve heard in ages

riz making adaine her own folder for fun that he signed inside ,, i will sob over this little goblin

a dragon with a receding hairline

the thistlespring sex binder stop

gorgug is such an awkward little guy

fabian not knowing how to make food, stop my baby has been abandoned

‘a little hobgoblin with a brass lollipop’

sorcery teacher jace, i would die for you. ur the teacher i would fancy in school

big shoes to follow

figs bad luck continues

‘should we sign up for student government? there’s gotta be a cabinet right?’

mazey is a highland cow stop i love her

stop she’s a dancer, was she at the camp fabian was meant to be at??

‘oh you’re in the buttcrushers?’

she’s worse than kalvaxus

badidas

FABIAN IS OLDER BECAUSE HE WAS ADVENTURING WITH HIS DAD??

‘that would impact you as well’ ‘yeah’

‘i’m going to go to bard class, you’re going to love this, but not as myself’

im going to cast disguise self on myself to look like an emo girly

wanda childa

here girlie

porter is hot shut up

gorgug getting told he can’t do the mcats because he’s a barbarian. basically being told he’s not smart enough to do artificer classes because he’s inherently stronger, angrier and ‘less smart’ stop

im going into a worry

fig taking fabian to a wizard class because she doesn’t know where bard classes are

‘fabian, you said something alarming and it made me curious’

riz’s entire interaction with jawbone

Kristen chillis applebees

KRISTENS BROTHER

the way it’s never really spoken about how kristen, as the oldest, protected her younger brothers from her parents but she’s been gone a long time and she’s now seeing that. behavioural pattern continued to them treating her oldest younger brother the same she was treated

BUD CUBBY STICKING UP FOR KRISTEN BY TELLING HER PARENTS THEYRE AWFUL PEOPLE STOPPP

‘a hard couple months?’ ‘in the dark? where’s your god? he’s the sun god right?’

‘that’s what you think’ ‘bye girlie’

adaine realising she can’t even afford her school supplies now is so sad

‘what smell would be enticing to emo kids? maybe cigarettes and peach schnapps’

i just wanda’d in

they’re investigating all of figs disguises???

figs agent is rubens agent too fuck off

kristen adhd confirmed

also kristen deflecting all of her trauma with humour is so sad

‘maybe i could just have a tiny little religion of weirdos who wanna gamble’

cassandra i love you but kristen is a literal child

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CASSANDRA IS WITH KALINA

[strugglingatart]

Jr Year ep4

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don’t want to this will be long

I have wanted most if not all of Zac's and Murph's shirts this season

I still have issues with the multiclass system but also no school thing has made the most sense in universe

I believe you and that's why I'm not saying anything is SUCH a trouble friend mood

"what's the drinking age?" "you have murdered SO many people"

BRENANS FACE WHEN KALINA SAYS I'M NOT BAD ANYMORE OH LORDS

the whole Kalina/Cassandra/Kristen scene is so nerve wrecking and interesting and once again I can talk so much about this topic and I know I have critized Kristen's approach but that's bc honestly I do have issue w it despite understanding it but it does make for an interesting arc and with this conversation it does seem like she believes in this domain of faith on the unknown. I will at some point talk more about from the point of someone who also left a culty religious thing but was still expected to perform similarly once out of it but my thoughts are still not the most organized

that being said I do not trust kalina and i do love cassandra

when you're in the dark I'm there holding your hand why am i crying

not kvx still being a thing lmao so Brennan

oh I just love how complicated but absolutely Bill Seacaster is the whole trust thing, the money going to the nemesees, there being a whole department, honestly that's a department I'd work for it's basically spy and gossip stuff

but also poor Fabian having to go through all this head ache stuff alone

watch Caperslolly Cattlekrush not be a direct nemesis but someone from her party be yes Fabian get that service!

I too keep thinking it is rat ccrushers no t grinders and will absolutely get it wrong

the gorthlax art is PERFECT

my school nurse did not have sweat pants but ok murph(i also absolutely am not from the us idk why i keep pointing out diferences)

they each will have a foil in my head so why just one owlbear contender? also is riz in the bloodrush team?

grinding for xp is so much weirder and terrible imo in this context also should be less effective bc like lbr experience is important like thinking on your feet etc like yes they are probably equal level and Brenan will play them well but they should absolutely not be as good as the bad kids at actual adventuring

I love how they all are so agro tho bc I get it and love the energy and I would absolutely be that mad

YES SOMEONE CALLED OUT THE HIPOCRISY

xp isn't bad if you at least still DO INTERESTING STUFF TO GET IT

if brenan makes them like grinding i will become as agro as the bad kids so far lol

gorthlax gave great advice, that being said i do hope they get a lil bit petty and end annoying grinders

nooo Gorgug (cries) I really want him to do well

listen I am so emo about gorgu's storyline like it's just no thoughts just feels and all of them

listen i don't do character builds but it does not sound to me like artificer and barbarian are THAT ill fitted, like yes the require different focus levels and types but they are also USED in different moments, nothing is stopping Gorgug from using his down time to come up with gadgets that work WITH his strenght and dex and rage and then use reckless abandon in battles. I think even th solar lasso is very much an example of that because it uses his strenghts, he's realing it in with atheltics checks iirc or how his shoes have jump like yes absolutely a challenge and not the most obvious but people are acting like it's impossible when it absolutely isn't

we love Corsica Jones

Riz helping Kristen <3

Brenan is absolutely having so much fun with Ayada's messages

Listen Fig does not need to go to warlock classes, no one in the school knows she is a warlock just do bard and barbarian and help your friend

also i get that procrastination girl

Please I want Fig and Gorgug to work on a song together and for us to get that scene so bad

Aelwynn is a whole entire mood

well that answers me: riz is not on bloodrush

I KNEW BRENNAN MADE THEM STUPID RATS TOO GOOD I HATE IT BUT I LOVE IT

wouldn't detect magic tell riz what enhancements she has? cause otherwise it's nnot THAT useful for spies (which is reason #1 the gadget exists)

oh brennan REALLY made people we will all hate

Yes Bucky I adore him

someone please go home with Fabian

ohhh Brennan put extra stakes at Fig just quitting/failling auegfort since she technically doesn't need it

oh warlock classes are night classes, kinda love that for Fig and also good for her being good at it

also looove the talk about exchanges and that

FIg could make an album out of pressure and expextations that woul be rad as hell

RAGH we love him

LISTEN Ragh should be like party guy, he was absolutely popular and is older and it takes stuff away from the bad kids to do

oh Fabian goes into it immediately we stan

Listen Ally is MASTER of weird ass energies and I love them for it

they truly are such dorks and somehow cool at the same time

I cannot tell if they don't know milkyriver's name or if they are benedict cumberbunching it and I love that

literally everything kalina says is so threatening

also the bad kids should count as followers of cassandra like they are not clerics sure but they ablsolutely belive in her... do only clerics/paladins count?

LISTEN BRENNAN WE DON'T NEED MORE PROBLEMS

oh the shard and red thing that was in one of the arts

oh I REALLY thought they were gonna split party this

I do hope the party still goes well

[kipperlillyforpresident]

I’m so sorry but I gotta jump in as a guy who’s normal about warrior cats to offer some ideas that are mostly vibe and less similar to their real names:

For Lucy, Frostwish is honestly perfect but something like Echofrost could be nice- also the -heart suffix is often for very noble cats but Frostheart reads a little weird so I’d go with Flurryheart or something in that case

others: Frostflame or Flurryflame, Shiverheart, Brightfrost

For Kipperlilly, I like having Lily somewhere in the name because lilies are horrendously toxic to cats, also she needs four syllables it’s non negotiable. She’s Mad so there’s a fair chance of her getting a -claw name but I don’t really like that for her, I kind of am partial to Flicker as a prefix both for sound and because it’s sort of associated with fire (any name associated with the colour red would also be good for this reason)

various ideas: Flickerpetal, Cinderlily, Ripplewhisker

Ivyshade is also really good and Ivy is just already a great prefix, my only other ideas would be variations on that— Fernshade, Ivythorn, Ivydusk

Berrybee is 10/10, only other ideas is Bumbleberry

For Oisín I’m with you on the storm stuff, naturally— Stormclaw keeps it simple, otherwise Adderstorm to keep a reptilian element. Bonus: Oisín means “little deer”, it’s cute to think he got named something like Fawnkit and then got super buff so the leader was just like “uhh Fawnstorm”

Ruben: existing names that give a similar vibe to “hop” would be like,, Spring, Leap, Flight, Step- flight is funny to me because he’s getting mobbed for autographs he’s gotta go- I’m partial to the idea of him getting named Shellkit and later receiving an emo suffix but I don’t know what that would be jfjjfjdk.

ideas: Shellfang, Shellsong, Hopleap, Whistlespring (wait no that’s gorgug), Whistleflight

Buddy,,, hoo buddy. He’d be given a Sun name more than likely, Dawn or Sun or Ray or something, I kind of like the idea of Sundapple (patchy sunlight, wavering faith) but it sounds like a juice flavour. Risingdawn, Dawncloud, Sunfall, Lightseed

Bonus round: Kristen as Applebee for the meme, Porter rising to power as Shatterstar, Fig as Houndheart because German shepherd mode

bonus bonus: kipperlilly would hate to be average and unremarkable. Imagine she gets a suffix like -fur or -tail or -pelt

you and me discussing warrior cat names.

THESE ARE ALL SO GOOOD. and YES i had thought about the -heart suffix, but i agreed it seemed like. well. it seemed like an insult. cold-hearted. but flurryheart is soo cute.

and all of your alt kipperlilly names... all so good.... this is the one universe where she wont be bullied for her name. WE ALL HAVE NAMES LIKE FLICKERPETAL!!!

and omg. fawnstorm is adorable.

and omg i didnt even think abt tying in his beach era. shell is such a cute prefix for him. it also makes me feel like all of the rat grinders are in riverclan tbh. because the bad kids are sooo thunderclan coded right. and so au where tbk and trg are just fighting over sunningrocks. (btw sunningrocks belongs to riverclan idgaf. THEYRE USING IT TO HUNT!! THOSE THUNDERCLAN FUCKS JUST WANT TO SUNBATHE!!!)

also sundapple does have such a cool meaning but ur right it is soooo juice coded JKNHGH.

and ohg my god waaittt. me when Phoenixstar (aguefort) renames Graystone (porter) into Shatterstone after a brutal injury .... and then Shatterstone and Shimmerdust (jace) kill him.... and Shatterstar rises to power...

[verosvault]

🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 7🚨

Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"

Episode 7 "Stress Tested"

Timestamp: 2:16:08

Video Length: 2min. & 24sec.

Trailer for Episode 8

I'M SO HAPPY WE'RE GETTING TO SEE THE THISTLESPRING TREE AS AN ACTUAL SET!!! BUT ALSO SO SCARED!!! 😭😭✋✋

LOL AT "MY CLERICAL GNOMANCE"! 😭✋

XD Gorgug says emo music is pretty cool and Fig says he's out of the band!! Crying!! 😭💀

What in the world is that beeping sound Brennan is making?! 😭😭✋✋

XD "appreciating bodies" 😭✋

BIG RIP!!! GRIX IS HERE!!! BRUH!!! THIS ISN'T EVEN SCHOOL GROUNDS!!! WHAT'S HE DOING?! 😭✋ ALSO, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE HOLDING?! 😭✋

EXACTLY WHAT ADAINE SAID! THEY'RE NOT AT SCHOOL RIGHT NOW! 😭✋

Bruh, Grix sucks!

OMG!! GORGUG'S ADOPTED PARENTS AND BIOLOGICAL PARENTS IN ONE SPACE?! 😭✋

Literally Zac!! 4 parents on a battlefield is too many! 💀💀

There's a nudity tent???!!! 😭😭😭😭

Gorgug doesn't know which parent he should look at!!! 😭😭😭

Kristen is pretty sex-positive! 😂💀✋

WANDA AND RUBEN!!! BIG LOL!!! 😭😭✋✋

Who is Kristen calling "girlie" and why was the response said in that way?! Who is Kristen talking to?! 😭✋

Fig saying that Riz is their ONLY HOPE?! ;00

Riz: "Don't put anymore pressure on me." 🥲

No! I'm not crying! you are! 🥲🥲

Grix asks Riz what cause he has with the bad kids?! ;00 Bruh! The bad kids are his friends! 😭✋

Bro Grix, what better world are you even talking about?! 😭😭🥲🥲

What is that THING POINTED AT RIZ?! 😭😭😭😭

Riz feels his mind slinking away?! 😱😱😱

"Perfect Order. Is that really so bad?!" 😭 BRUH! YES IT IS! 😭✋ DON'T TRY TO MANIPULATE POOR RIZ!! 😭✋

Riz: "I'm in!" WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNN?!?!?! IS HE TALKING TO HIS DAD IN HEAVEN (POK) WHEN HE SAYS THAT?!?!?! 😭😭✋✋

Zac asking Brennan not to do this!! 😭😭

I'm SO SCARED!! 😭😭✋✋

Yeah! Whatever it is, Gorgug has been working so hard on it and you shouldn't ruin it Brennan!!! ;(((((((

Brennan!!! Stop laughing!!! 😭😭✋✋

OMG! THEY'RE CALLING THIS A CURSED SEASON!!! 😭😭✋✋

WE DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE EVEN FIGHTING!! WHO ARE THEY EVEN GOING UP AGAINST AND WHY?! 😭😭✋✋

(This was written before I saw episode 8 🤪✌️)

[heartbreakheauxtelsims]

Trying to work on Sterling and i....hate it. He looks like freaking Kristen Stewart if she was native american T_T. I do not make boy sims lol so this is hard.

if any one has good male skins let me know. im using one by sims3melancholic here (not saying its bad, i use their skins frequently but its not vibing with me for this character for some reason).

I also need clothes that aren't maxis match or so flat and looks drawn onto the sim. It's so easy to find girl stuff and i just want to make the stupid emo boyfriend i wanted in middle school. Is that too much to ask?!

[earthtourist]

Am I a shadow musician? ✹ How music keeps me going.

Am I living thru the lives of my audio engineer partner, friends, and the music I listen to? Because I’m not an active musician, I’ve never taken the time to reflect on my musical journey. But sheesh, it’s been there all this time and is here to stay. And more than ever, I’ve been having a calling to make music. But before I dive into that, let’s pay tribute to everything that’s led to where I musically am so far. (As a pretext, you’ll see me mentioning different places. I have attended 11 different schools, moved 12 times and lived in 8 cities across the US.)

Although my parents aren’t the most musically aware (their taste in music is strictly The Beatles, Elvis, and Filipino serenades)- I always had an affinity towards music. I recall my parents getting me my first keyboard. Then eventually heavy-weighted piano which still sits in my living room today. The piano lessons which I honestly despised because my young wild mind couldn’t sit still. Nonetheless, I never failed at performing for my relatives at family parties. And we never failed at singing cheesy Filipino renditions of f pop songs on Magic Mike. Because my family was extremely poor and didn’t like me listening to “trashy radio music”, the only CDs I had at the time were Gorillaz - Demon Days and The Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business. Luckily, now-that-I-think-about-it, I had the gift of being part of the golden Limewire/pirating era. Literally remember being 10 years old (2006), downloading London Bridge By Fergie. Damn did we all destroy our parents’ computers, but at least we had all of the .FLAC files to our hearts’ content.

Middle school was when I first entered a formal musical setting. In 7th grade, I learned an embarrassingly masculine instrument. A more mellow and melodic low brass instrument, the baritone/euphonium. But unfortunately resembled a tuba. I absolutely loved band. I was pretty bullied when I first moved to Florida in 6th grade. So the movement I got away from my racist enemies, I found my hobby and went all in. Immediately signed up for Jazz Band as a keyboardist and insisted on proving myself. By 8th grade, I had a sort of an identity crisis and embraced my scene/emo kid side- but never let go of the band nerd inside. I became first chair in advanced band then switched to trombone, where I got to learn how to improve on stage. My parents weren’t the most pleased and never went to my concerts. This continued throughout high school, and eventually had the same response to my art career. But that’s a story for another. Although they weren’t the most thrilled- they still did the minimal support to at least keep me happy. Admittedly, my musical taste was pretty trash! A weird mixture of metal artists (Fall Out Boy, Paramore, The Devil Wears Prada, Lamb of God), ska (I LOVED Big D and the Kids Tables), and pop (Regina Spektor, Bjork - these two artists I give total credit to Allison). Aside from getting separated from my family at a Backstreet Boys concert when I was 7 years old- I have insane early memories from Warped tour. I’m having trouble remembering the band. But it was the middle of the Florida summer, with me heat-wave disoriented standing in the middle of the pit. The singer announces something intelligible. The crowd splits and at the count of 3, 2, 1- I realized that I too, am suddenly rushing towards the center. I immediately am shoved to the ground as piles of skinny men fall onto me. With nothing but my scrawny arm left- I reach upwards. Low and behold it’s my tuba playing classmate Charles, who helps me up.

In high school, the music department of VHS became my refuge. Students at my middle school were split between the beachside and inland school. I bid farewell to Kristen, Isabella, Alyssa, Lauren, and Alec. Although entering high school was always awkward, the band room became a place where I truly became myself. Learned to be loud, talkative, creative, competitive- and thrive around other people with the same passions. I had such a powerful friend group. Michelle, Lauren, Taylor, Kara, Jacob, Joseph, Allison, etc. But also honestly, every member of the music department was so endearing, sweet and creative. I found my place and became obsessed. All of my elective courses were taken up by Chamber Winds, Jazz Band, Marching Band, and Wind Ensemble. This might not sound much to you, but all of this involves going to school in the summer, before school starts, and after.

We had the best community an insecure but creative kid would ever want. What really helped is that I had these really extremely passionate band directors, Nick Egan and Wayne Bressette. Mr. Egan would have these huge emotional fits when we wouldn’t march the right way. Or if a section blatantly didn’t practice. But at the same time, we all loved him. He was incredibly encouraging and knew how talented we were. We later discovered it was because he was having huge family problems at the time. My life was still troubled at the time. But he always pushed me to try for All-State/County. Motivated me to go to the closest and most magical thing I ever experienced to Hogwarts, band camp at FSU. He even had me audition to become section leader after he found out I was moving. Maybe it’s because he was used to be a euphonium teacher too. But wow- thank you.

All of this probably has to do with the fact that that the South takes football seriously. And sequentially, marching bands were epic. And I mean fucking epic. We were the little nerds that helped fill the stadiums and work up the crowed. We practiced for weeks during the summer Florida heat waves. Spent our Friday nights at football games in the rain. Getting high off the bus chants and sweaty fumes. We recording every show and marching rehearsal. I remember one hood-ass band performed these hip-hop trap bangers that riled up the whole field. I’ll never forget those sober and energetic nights.

After moving to Massachusetts, although I attended band for my sophomore year, I chose not to continue the following. The Southern passion unfortunately wasn’t found there. Don’t get me wrong, there were some talented musicians. But god we sucked. There was only one level. Even though I was the top trombonist, I was forced to be 2nd because the older students had seniority. No jazz band. Marching band was still a thing I guess, and we had these town parade where band moms kept an eye of who was about to pass out from the sun. I remember when a flag twirler permanently knocked my front tooth into its now-half-crooked angle. My highlight from the Acton-Boxborough band was the DC trip for the cherry blossom parade. It’s not their fault. It is honestly just because New England schools care more about education than football and band…

The biggest blessing from being at ABHS is that’s how I found my friend group. Kris Roman was a saxophonist whom I knew was in my grade but also in band. But one day in my English class I noticed Kris wearing a light blue band shirt I also had! It was some random ska band (Maybe Less than Jake, Might Might Bossstones, Street Light Manifesto, or Big D & the Kids Table) which was freaking random. Eventually, he put up a flyer that he was having a ska show, which sparked my curiosity. At some point, he had Kevin, the singer DM on Facebook and was eventually added to the friend group. Little did I know, they had dubbed me as trombone girl. They invited me to band practice one day, and then suddenly I was in Mad Frolick. I played maybe 3 shows total and fucking loved it. Eventually, band practice turned into just smoking weed and drinking. I officially no longer attended band class. We got more into listening and enjoying than performing. Except for Kris who got into Berklee! Our whole crew was really into music, but me, Kris, and Colin were really into deep cuts. For example, I honestly wasn’t super into hip hop until Colin showed me the The Beatles X Wu Tang compilation. But I remember then getting really into witch house, trap, trip-hop. That was an epic music phase that paved the way for entering my first cultural experience and city: Boston.

Boston. Oh Boston. This will honestly need to be detailed for another day. But simply put. Having never lived in a city, and entering as a rebellious music nerd was wild. And taste-wise, I learned an immense amount about punk, EDM, deep house, and alternative hip hip. Now that I think about it, this is the first time I’ve ever revisited my time in Massachusetts. I’ve been extremely avoidant of the topic due to how painful the memories are. To the point that I forgot about all the other wonderful memories in between.

Skipping thru Boston, I made it back to my home state of California. But this time, in Santa Barbara, I landed in LA. My time spent in Santa Barbara didn’t go as planned. What started as an optimistic move to begin a new life, ended with another cool set of friends which I called “the tribe”. Ultimately, fled after one year due to a lost sense of self due to partying. It was a fun and frantic blur to say the least. But an eye-opening one that pushed my limits. Who knew that such a beautiful place could hold so much chaos. Those Santa Barbarians. My musical obsession took a bit of a turn there. Where I was forced to play music for a more skater turn-up type of crowd. Learned my bit about sad boy $uicideboys, hyphy Mac Dre, some electronic, and hmmm. Yup, that’s about it! Definitely didn’t spend as much time researching music, but hey- at least it was a good time.

After nearly dying in Santa Barbara, I finally convinced my parents that I wasn’t going to major in anything they wanted. Moved further down the coast, and ended up becoming a graphic designer in in the music industry of Los Angeles. (To this day, my dad still asks if I’m interested in going back to school for coding. But I still love him~). Finally living my dream, I initially lived alone- which allowed me much more freedom for my audiophile tendencies. There was a great deal of healing involved. What seemed to really help with keeping was indulging in the world of new music. As new chapters and events in my life happened, I tended to need a new genre to ease into the transitions. My musical phases ranged from dream psych, post punk, cold wave, electro pop, hyperpop, folktronica, UK garage, all things indie, french house, philly shoegaze, world folk, etc etc. I give huge credit to Spotify's radio, similar artists, and "create similar playlist feature". I experienced the horrors of working as an assistant at a music PR firm. Not that the job was bad, it was more of the revealing truths of working in the music industry. It’s a low-paying, unappreciated, but self-fulfilling sector. Learned how hard and what it takes to become a successful musician. I’ve made incredible friendships within the Berklee alumni. Then started a business with my incredibly talented audio-engineering boyfriend. Someone who I utterly adore and, best of all, shares nearly the same exact music taste- it’s unreal. So here, in the present day, I can’t believe I had a whole narrative to write about my musical journey. It was awesome framing things thru the lens of music. I often find myself wondering what my life would’ve been like I actually pursued my love of music. But the reality is- I always have. Music, annoyingly clichely put, has been my anchor all this time. And will probably continue to be my beam of light in the now and in the future.

follow me on Substack for my latest musings. Check out my Spotify Playlists here.

[floresyerrores]

Saw a post of how there’s this new trend of like pretty girls who were clearly obviously popular (and probably mean) in school are trying to say they are now the “weird girls” - basically like the new pick mes and it triggered me so bad.

Gave my flashbacks of my childhood and early days of middle school where I was picked on and bullied so bad. Almost forgot how bad it was cus I always looked back on it as part of my “lore” and “growth” lmao it was just a normal part of life right everyone got picked on a little right 😀

It made me into the little bad ass I am today right lol.

It was actually so fucked. I guess I always dealt with it by laughing it off but I actually was bullied so bad I had to switch schools. I didn’t *have* to but my mom became a teacher in my school district that same year while I was getting bullied and when she found out about how bad it was, she asked if I wanted to try a different middle school. My bff had to move schools and my other friends got sent to alternative school so I figured why suffer alone lol and thought a new start could be fun.

Circa 2007/2008 I went thru my early emo/scene in 7th grade (never really grew out of it tbh) and I lost all my friends from 6th grade basically since they thought I was so weird and different but I made new friends who were like me, my little weirdos ❣️

I had my little friend group, like 7 of us, we were the only emo/scene kids in our school so we were really close and would always walk together, eat lunch together etc. Some of us would get picked on worse than the others - me for example, so we always tried to travel in a pack so we wouldn’t get ganged up on.

I remember my math teacher being one of my worst bullies solely for the fact that she was my literal TEACHER and would clown me in front of the whole class and everyone would laugh at me and I would just sit there and take it because I had never experienced that before from my fellow students let alone my own teacher…

One time she asked me if me and my friend group where all dating each other and slept together 💀 we were literally 13 dude and she was asking me essentially about polyamory and orgies. Something I knew nothing about at the time. She would make fun of my friends to my face and think it was funny.

Everyone in her class shunned me and avoided me, no one wanted to sit at the desks next to me - we used to be grouped in 4 desks all facing each other and she would have to pick people to sit at the tables with me and would purposely pick the kids who hated me the most. The all thought I was the devil lmao or some satanist

I used to write in a journal and make silly little lists of random stuff like “people I love” or whatever. I was talking about my friends obviously and I wrote their names down on my “ppl i love” list and one of my close friends shared the same name as one of the girls at the table who would make fun of me. My friends name was Kristen, and the bully was named KIRSTEN. The math teacher called me up to the board to answer something (she always liked to pick on me knowing I was shy and was hated in the class) and when I got back to my desk my journal had been moved and the girl with the same name as my friend was like “omg y’all she LOVES me what do I do 😱 she’s in LOVE with me ewwww” and I just knew that they had read my journal. I felt so embarrassed and like my privacy had been invaded I wanted to cryyyy it was awful. Like bitch why would I love YOU when you obviously hate me, bully me, etc etc.

Obviously that was my fault for leaving my journal out in the open and thinking they would not read it. Tbh I think they went through my bag and found it themselves cus I knew better than to leave it out, but I’m sure they saw me writing in it all the time.

Then, when I got the big chop (cut my long, down to my back hair into a short choppy emo style cut) and went to school feeling so cute about myself, I walked into her class and sat at my assigned desk (in the front because she was cruel and hated me obv). She stood behind me during the lesson and touched my hair/back of my neck then said “oh wow they really hacked your hair huh” and kept inspecting my haircut. Everyone laughed while I silently cried at my desk. The trauma 💀

Another time she said it smelled like weed/smoke in her class and came up right behind me and sniffed me then was like, sorry you just look like the type to do that stuff. You and your…. friends. I was like no. I don’t do any of that (I was still innocent then lol)

It got to so bad to the point where my bff made me report it to our AP because she was his aide at the time and knew it was wrong of her. I used to cry and tell her all the horrible things that happened to me in her class that day. So finally after almost a whole year of her tormenting I listened to her advice and told our AP about what she would do.

She pulled me out of class the next day and tried to give me some half assed apology - said something like if anything she said to me hurt my feelings, that wasn’t her intention, she was just playing with me blah blah blah but I didn’t really care I just said its ok it’s fine cus I was always so shy and non confrontational at that point. I was honestly scared of what she was going to tell me. I had been hoping they would switch me out of her class but it never happened. They did find a sub for her class for awhile so that was a nice break from her even though I still had to deal with the bullies in her class (which she helped to create). I vaguely remember something like they sent her to some empathy training class or something but I could be wrong lol idk.

I can’t remember exactly what happened after but she was gone for awhile towards the end of the year or semester (can’t remember exactly) but she was in a car accident, her car was totaled lol (karma bitch) and she was gone for awhile. She came back with a leg cast, showed us pictures of her totaled car trying to get some sympathy lol and basically just played movies all day or let us do whatever. She told one of the students she liked that she really didn’t care what we did because she would be leaving at the end of the semester and wouldn’t be coming back to teach. Idk if it had anything to do with me reporting her but 🤷🏻‍♀️ karmaaaa

We had some students switch to our math class and this one stoner foo got seated next to me/was put in my group. This chubby Mexican guy (Chris). I called him a fat ass at lunch once cus he had skipped me in the lunch line so I was worried he was gonna be mean and would remember me but I knew he was pretty funny cus he was like “HEY I’m not fat I’m just fluffy” lol. I was also friends with his on/off gf at the time so I would talk to him about his girl problems and try to help him win her back lol. He was the onlyyyyy one who was nice to me and actually talked to me in that class when I literally felt like such a loner. He became like my bff in that class, I would share all my Japanese snacks with him and let him copy my answers lol. I will never forget him or his kindness, he also ended up being my 🍃 plug after I graduated HS up until I moved out of Texas 2 years ago lmao. Thanks Chris 🥲 he really saved me in that class because after that, the teacher never came after me or tried to clown me again. No one messed with me after that because he would always have my back if they tried to say something.

Other bullies in school would just corner me or friends or all of us whenever they got the chance and would just say mean things or ask stupid shit like “do you worship the devil” or “are you a witch” and are you all gay, etc etc. Or they would laugh at us in the hallways and make fun of our clothes. We all had to wear uniforms but ofc my friends and I went out of our way to show off our individuality and would wear skinny jeans and band tees or all black whenever we had the chance and ofc we altered our uniforms to fit our style lol. We were basically walking Hot Topic ads lmaooo. Those bullies were nothing compared to the math teacher.

Another time, on my birthday, my friends had gotten me some gifts and one friend (Justin) gifted me a Hello Kitty plush and also a Dear Daniel plushie bc he knew I loved HK 🥺 I was a little weirdo so I walked around the whole day with my plushies proudly and had a relatively nice day because of all the kind gifts. My friend (Kristen) and I were walking towards our bus at the end of the day and the buses were all lined up as usual, some kids already in their seats waiting to go. We passed by one kid in the window seat (it was open) who was taking a big sip of his bright neon orange Gatorade (I remember it so clearly) and he looked right at me and spit it out the window right at me and Kristen - it landed on me, my hair, my friend and worst of all - my brand new hello kitty and Dear Daniel plushie 😔 staining it orange and completely ruining my whole day. My friend smiled at them and kept us moving to our bus but as soon as we got to our seats on the bus I broke down crying the whole way home. Sad stuff man. The orange never washed off my plushies 💔

I wrote about it in my journal that night and I guess my mom was reading my journal during those days since she thought I was a devil child (lol jk she was just worried about me bc of how I was acting) and that’s how she found out about the bullying and decided to switch me out of that school for good after the school year ended.

Lots of other stuff I went through during that dark period of time but those are the events that I remember so vividly even 10 years later.

Good times!

All part of my lore hahaha