#kristen applebees what have you done

[cxlandine]

i may never recover from the tonal whiplash of lore dumping/important discoveries and straight british kristen white girl twerking by the voting booth.

[trivanvanile]

Lucy Frostblade found Ankarna’s name. She learned of Ruvina’s sister and wanted to help her. Kristen just brought Cassandra back. She heard about the return of Cassandra. If Kristen Applebees, renowned mess of a cleric, could do it, why couldn’t she?

One night, Kipperlily finds Lucy bringing the rats back, with the rest of the Hi-5 heroes. And she confronts her cleric about what she’s doing, reminding Lucy they aren’t the Bad Kids. They don’t risk each others lives and put each other in danger. They stay *safe* by being cautious. The two argue.

Ruben and Oisin admire Lucy’s conviction. Mary-Ann tries to get them to stop. Ivy defends Kipperlily’s desire to keep the group safe. It’s not fair. KLCK brought her friends into it. It’s not fair. She forged a withdrawal of the God Change on Lucy’s behalf. Lucy strikes Kipperlily, hard enough to draw blood. Unknown to her, emboldened by Ankarna, Lucy draws on the Rage she feels to her party. She unintentionally drags her friends into the bloodlust. What happens is she desperately fights against her party. It never should have went this far.

At the end, Kipperlily and the others stand over Lucy’s body. Realizing what they’ve done, the bloodlust fading as Ankarna has protected her infernal form. And Ankarna uses this to make an offer. “I will give her back, when you bring me back.”

They all argue but Kipperlily convinces them all to go home and sleep on it. She’s careful. She hides the body, using all her rogue skills to cover up the crime. No one would believe them. And she remembers something she learned in Rogue Class. Devil’s Nectar. It’s her fault after all. Why force the rest of the party to bear this burden?

So when they next meet, with the help of Devil’s Nectar, she lies through her teeth. “We didn’t do anything. It’s unfair.” And she does it everytime they talk. The sickly sweet nectar, it almost burns at this point, to take. Its viscous drip down her throat is almost suffocating.

“The school should do more, we should try to change things. It’s not fair that Lucy is dead.” Kipperlily thinks, unaware that she has begun to believe her own lies. As she looks on, during the first day of Junior Year, she sees the Bad Kids. Fresh off their adventure with the Night Yorb. They must have it so easy. Kipperlily clenches her fist, and sets out to do what she promised, choosing to spare her friends from the burden of bringing a dead god back to life.

[hup123hup123slapslap]

So a thought has been kicking around my head for a bit...what if Helio knew exactly what he was signing up for by making Kristen his chosen one?

It has always struck me as odd that when describing Doreen in Helioic heaven, Brennan mentioned her flirting with men and women. It also strikes me as odd that Kristen never got any pushback from Helio about turning her back on him. Even if he was similarly 'out of the picture' like sol was while Arthur was wrecking havoc, Kristen's powers should have faded when she fully committed to not worshipping him. You need to worship a god to get powers, and this is emphasized heavily in the latest episode. Kristen worshipping the vague idea of religion but Definitely Not Helio just doesn't cut it. Sure, taking away a PCs powers wasn't really in the cards in season one, but Brennan works very well and very caringly with what he has to establish as canon.

Kristen was looking for a reason to drop Helio from the get-go. His frat boy appearance and non-answer to a nearly impossible question didn't truly matter at the core of her feelings. She wanted an out from the prison she was trapped in with the Helioic faith, even if she didn't realize it fully. She had tension with her mom and her ideals from the scene one! She wanted to connect with people the church actively shunned. Helio was never the true problem.

Now, gods are shaped by their worshippers. So on some level Helio is shaped by people with shitty ideals. But there's still a foothold of good, especially if there are out and proud gays in heaven. Especially if Kristen Applebees of all people is the chosen one.

When you have worshippers misinterpreting your whole deal, going with Sol's shitty messaging and transferring it onto you and using it for bad things, what can you do as a god? Because you ARE what they say you are. So how can you fight back?

Well. You make your chosen one someone that embodies your true heart. Someone that can actually turn the tides of your worship.

There is an emphasis on tracker reinventing and revitalizing her religion. Changing it for the better. Taking the old and not tossing it out, but making it better.

Isn't that what Kristen struggles with the most? That's what she needs to learn how to do.

Tracker also established that she can worship multiple gods when she helped with Yes?. Kristen doesn't need to settle for one even if she (fingers crossed) brings Kassandra back.

Because the season opened with the slow apocalypse of endless night. Endless daytime would end similarly. There has to be a balance. They are two sides of the same coin. Day and night. The surety of the sun and the doubt of the shadows.

Kristen wants both. And she can fucking have it if she decides to.

Ally once said they appreciate that the enemy is always the church. Organized religion. Kristen is perfect for disorganized religion though. Chill frat boy vibes and anxious doubts and the ultimate message of 'just do your best'.

I think religious trauma is a compelling, close to the heart topic for a lot of people. And some turn away from religion entirely and wash their hands of it. But some people don't. Kristen is a cleric. She can't. She wants a god, she wants answers, and she just can't find them in the established community she was raised in. That doesn't mean the core of her religion was wrong. The church was. So you take the religion and you harness it in a way that means something to you.

Maybe Kristen being desperate enough to invite Helio back into her life is what this has all been leading to.

She can remake a god. She's done it before. Because Kassandra was good at the core. Maybe Helio can be too.

[atrenchcoatofteaandspite]

I'm screaming what the fuck is a vulture dimension

Kristen Applebees what have you done??

[rainbowtransform]

The thing nobody tells you about dying, Buddy thinks, is the pain of it. Someone slit his throat, but all he can see is Kristen Applebee’s horrified face, her eyes wide and mouth gaped open as she shouts something he can’t hear.

His heart thumps.

His fingers twitch.

His blood spreads.

Buddy closes his eyes.

He reopens them in front of huge gates, big and yawning. Sunlight drifts off the edges of them and shines through the bars, but when Buddy places a hand on them instead of feeling warm, like how he used to snuggle into his grandfather’s arms when he spoke about Helio and Faith and the love, it’s cold.

Like how cold it felt when he came into Helio’s church after they’d lost his Chosen. Cold and uninviting.

“Buddy Dawn,” comes a voice and Buddy turns his head to see Helio, hair long and flowing and his satchel at his side. “I’ve been expecting you.”

“Lord Helio,” Buddy says, dropping to one knee and bowing as Helio laughs. Light. Airy. Warm.

“Stand up,” Helio commands, one warm hand on Buddy’s shoulder. “Come on, Buddy, you don’t have to kneel like this.”

“Lord Helio,” Buddy says, awed and inspired. “I’m sorry this Chosen could not do what you wanted. I tried my hardest, my very best and I’m so so sorry that I was not what the Church needed.”

Helio helps him to his feet, both hands on his shoulder and smiles at him again. “You were what you needed to be,” he said. “Your father prayed everyday for you to find your way to me, and you did.”

Buddy swallows. “My father?” He questions, one hand going to his chest. “My father is here?”

“Yes,” Helio says. “Your father has been waiting for you, and your mother for many years now. But before that, come. My father and aunt would like to meet with you.”

“Your Lord Father?” Buddy whispers. “Sol?”

Helio wraps Buddy into a hug. It feels like his father’s, it feels like his mother’s, it feels like the Church’s picnics.

It feels like when he was crying over a split knee after his father’s funeral and a red-haired girl healed him with warm eyes, and a grin that showed off her two missing front teeth.

“He’s not too bad,” Helio says. “Don’t worry. Come on. He won’t hurt you.”

Buddy follows Helio to two chair, as large as the sun and one just as bright; the other one glimmering in the sun’s reflection. There is nobody sititng in their chairs, but Buddy knows that Sol and Galicaea are there. Waiting.

Buddy kneels again. He puts his head down and says, “My Lord Sol, and His Sister, Galicaea. A pleasure to meet you.”

“Stand,” Galicaea says. Her voice is cold, frosty despite the sun’s warmth and Buddy trembles. Helio goes to stand on His Father’s right side, where He must stay.

“You heard my Sister,” Sol says, just as cold. Buddy scrambles to his feet, eyes wide. He doesn’t know what he’s done wrong, but he must have because why are they angry at him?

“Buddy Dawn,” Sol says. His voice is rumbling and despite the sun’s heat, Buddy still feels the coldness in it. “You have quite some explaining to do. My Sister’s Wife has been roused from Her slumber by Kristen Applebees.”

“Lord Sol,” Buddy begins, before—

“Not to mention, when I tried to kill that infernal thing, I was thwarted.” Galicaea says. Her voice is colder than the dark side of the moon and Buddy swallows.

“My Lord,” he says. “With all due respect, I don’t know what I could’ve done. I focused on the Church of Helio, and keeping the Faith alive through the Chosen One’s Leaving.”

“The Chosen One does not leave.” Helio says, still all smiles. “Regardless of what she’s done, she’s always been mine. When she dies, Kristen Applebee’s soul will come here. To our Heaven.”

Buddy blinks at him. “But Kristen hasn’t been practicing.” He says.

“She’ll go to Hell for a couple of millennial,” Helio says. “Somewhere quiet and away from where her friends can’t find her. Just until she realizes the mistake of her actions and then I’ll come in and save her.”

“Lord Helio,” Buddy frowns and Helio quirks an eyebrow before Buddy falls silent. He chews on his bottom lip, sweaty hands wiped off on his pants.

“Enough,” Sol says. “What do you say in the case of your neglect of the My Son’s Chosen One’s actions?”

“I was fixing the Church,” Buddy says, feeling so small in front of these immortals. “I… I can’t be always with her. I’m not part of her adventuring party. Kristen Applebees doesn’t even like me.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Galicaea says, leaning forward to tower over Buddy. “It does not matter what she likes or does not. It was your job to keep Helio informed of what she does, so we could stop her. She doesn’t even have a God anymore, and yet she’s been messing with something that she has no right being in. Her and that Hellspawn Tiefling. It’s bad enough that that idiot werewolf is trying to change Me in my own Home, and then that Goddess’ name was uttered from a marriage that meant nothing.”

“Galicaea,” Sol says sharply. The goddess slumps back in her seat and Buddy realizes he’s fallen to his knees sometime she was talking. He’s trembling, he realizes.

He looks over to his Lord Helio, who is looking down at His nails, and when He realizes that Buddy is looking at Him, gives him a thumbs up.

Sol sighs. “There is nothing to be done now.” He says, still sounding angry.

“Then why did you call me here?” Buddy asks in a whisper.

Helio blinks at him, confused. “To tell you what you’ve done wrong, Buddy,” he says. “And to let you know that we’re going to keep you here, despite all your wrongdoing. Because we’re gracious. And kind.”

Buddy has done right all his life. He has followed the word of Helio, fixed the church that fell apart in the night and their chosen one’s departure, prayed daily and nightly for Helio to save the immoral souls of those who do not Follow him or his Father; took an empty cleric’s position in a team of people who were stars, burning themselves too bright and too hot to compete with a galaxy.

Buddy has healed the sick, and helped the homeless, and eased the minds of believers and nonbelievers alike. He has done right all his life.

And his afterlife is stained red because he wasn’t shadowing Kristen Applebees every step of her way. Because he wasn’t keeping up with her news and telling Helio.

(“She’ll be in Hell for a while,” Helio said. “Just until I come in to save her.”)

Buddy snaps out of it as Helio’s hand lands on his shoulder again, smiling and leading him away from His father and Aunt.

“Did you mean that Kristen is still yours?” Buddy asks.

Helio nods. “Cassandra layed a claim on her when She was revived and it would’ve been a battle if Kristen died, but now that she’s dead…” Helio shrugs.

“I can’t just let her walk in, though. She needs to be punished for leaving.” And then Helio smiles again, and points behind Buddy’s shoulder at the small house.

Buddy turns around, and sees a shock of brown hair, a mouth stretched in a permeant smile, and eyes that have always had love in them, despite being milky and never actually seeing his own son. Buddy’s mother always used to ruffle his own hair and ask how Buddy didn’t get anything of his father’s except his smile.

“There’s your dad.” Helio whispers. “He’s been waiting an awful long time.”

Helio hugs him again.

And, like at his father’s funeral, like his first year of waking up to an empty kitchen, and like when the red-haired girl’s mother called her away, despite the warmth of Helio’s hugs and his father’s cloudy, love-filled eyes staring at him, Buddy feels cold.

[frogsandmagic]

One of the things about the ‘should the bad kids have saved the ratgrinders’ debate is that they have had moments of trying to figure out if the ratgrinders were actually bad or if they were salvageable. They just. Didn’t role well enough. Or the info they were given wasn’t enough to try and spare their lives while they were actively trying to kill them. But their characters have no concept of the fact that they didn’t role well. Kristen Applebees doesn’t know she roled that bad on her check on buddy dawn during the battle. Ally does. Emily TRIED to see if Ruben felt guilty enough for her to spare him, but in the end, it didn’t matter (which I understand that feeling narratively unsatisfying, while also understanding that she was clearly not on his side and had obviously manipulated him into thinking she died). But like. The bad kids have done things to try and convince Mary Anne, it hasn’t worked. They’ve tried with buddy, didn’t work. Tried with Ruben, didn’t work. Even tried a bit with Oisin and it didn’t work.

I get being upset with the finale, and you don’t have to like it. But I think it makes since that the bad kids would see them as a lost cause. They know that people could, and have, fought against the rage, and the ratgrinders didn’t. They know that they are trying to kill them and no insight checks that they’ve done have suggested that they are salvageable. If they take the risk to spare them now with no info suggesting that the ratgrinders could be spared, porter becomes a god. So like. What else can they do at this point but fight?

[spectator-moon]

"Helio wouldn't have let that happen."

But. He. Did.

I have so many emotions and I saw a couple pictures of Buddy so yunno art did a thing

Also pictures of this with Cotton candy Bitchfuck beside him being the little creep she is

And more Rambles under the cut!

I so desperately want Buddy to not meet Helio. Because he was raised in a cult. He was raised, literally and figuratively, to die in Helio's name. So if he meets Helio, regardless of how he feels about his death, it is over for him. He is done.

I want this to happen.

Buddy Dawn opens his eyes, and he is not greeted by the endless corn fields of his god. No, he finds himself in a forest at night. He hears the skittering of small (and perhaps very large) things moving about, just out of sight, and he instinctively moves to grasp his holy symbol (which, for dramatic reasons, is around his neck). But it is not there. Instead, he meets a hand. It is warm, pleasantly so, under the cool chill of the wind. It carefully takes his, and as his eyes clear, he sees in front of him, Kristen Applebees. But not quite.

The being before him is a Kristen with long hair, in a ponytail, and a tye-dye camp t-shirt (he thinks of a summer camp he went to, and quietly notices the same style). She is clearly not mortal.

But Buddy Dawn was raised nothing if not righteous under Helio's law. So he asks, "Where is Helio? Where is my god?"

She, who he now knows is Cassandra, tells him, "Are you sure he was yours? Or were you his?"

And Buddy thinks. He thinks of days in service where he could barely breathe for the singing, of days where he saw people around him use Helio to do terrible things, of days where he could not eat enough because of how weak (malnourished) he had become and the tests. The tests upon tests of his faith, where he wondered, if only for a moment, if Helio was worth this.

Buddy Dawn hears a branch snap, somewhere off in the woods. Close. Too close. It is so dark in these woods. He realises he may be scared. He doesn't know how to fight. Not really. Rats and spiders can only do so much.

Cassandra takes his hands again, from where they have fallen beside him. She looks him dead in his Helio-worshipping eyes, and tells him, "This is what I offer."

And he thinks, What is she saying? Fear? That is what she offers?

"I," Cassandra says, "offer this. There is doubt. You are in the woods, at night. But you are not alone. I am holding your hand. You cannot be hurt with me. It does not matter what is lurking in the trees. It could be a monster, but it could also be...a fox! Or a rabbit. Just because there is noise does not mean it could hurt you. I am the goddess of finding comfort in doubt, in uncertainty. You do not have to fear."

And Buddy Dawn, Helioic to his very core, begins to cry. "I was a kid. That isn't fair! I wanted to live."

And Cassandra, goddess of the unknown, smiles, and tells him, "Would you like to become alive again?"

He asks, through tears on his bloodstained clothes, "What?"

And she tells him, "Were you ever really alive, or did Helio just tell you that you weren't only surviving?"

And she hugs him, and he feels his throat close, and it is comforting. She gave him a sentence that most Helioic people would run from in fear, and it is comforting.

And Buddy Dawn wakes up.

___

Spreading my Buddy Dawn, prophet of Cassandra propaganda everywhere I go. He needs to be reformed.

[halevren]

FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 9

i got a new job and I felt sick last night so. I'm watching this very late. it has been tough avoiding spoilers but I Have Done So

TTTAKING OVER TEENAGE REBELLION

hiiii one and all!!! hii intrepid heroes!!!!

i have been told stuff happens this episode. I'm so excited

"You're mad we're not doing drugs."

"I think this might be gorgug's worst day of his life."

so much happened last episode

totally healthy adult activity.

VULTURE

THE SPELL-LESS KRISTEN APPLEBEES 😭😭

THE VULTURE DIMENSION

I love the projections

DOMINATE MONSTER NO LONGER EFFECTING RIZ

THE VULTURE KING

I think Brennan is loving being the vulture king

NAT 20 FOR FABIAN

"IT'S THE VULTURE KING YOU HAVE TO KISS HIM!"

"One answer and it's Riz."

"I'm so glad I died on that battlefield."

A crisp 500 dollar bill

I love this so much

This is so silly

THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS

"Hey, I'll kill you, you fucker." "kiss him!"

VULTURES YAY OR NAY?

"Can you bring his parents up here—" "NO."

"Feels like five"

"You wanna be in our crew?"

Kristen is really trying to get her friends to romance the vultures.

"Are you a God of some kind?" "I don't mind man."

This season is just Brennan breaking the PCs

oh good god

MAGIC ITEMS!

"Summons 1d4 vultures, they are not under your command."

no bring us back to the vulture dimension im obsessed with it

fireball

18 damage 😭😭😭

"I'm going to think about that for days."

FIRST STRIKE HITS REAL ONE

"get out of my yard."

(Brennan rolling too many dice.)

the little fireball that could!

THE ROMAN CANDLE YOU SHOT AT THE BIG BAD

THE BALL GAVE FABIAN ADVANTAGE

Concentration lost 🔥🔥🔥

is Ruben only able to give bardic

BRENNAN NAT 20

what are we making dex saves for.

ZERO DEX SAVE. KRISTEN.

"I'm dead from shame."

ADAINE DOWN? NOOOO

29!!

So many dice for Fabian

"Don't worry I got the ones out guys" Emily 😭😭😭

"I'm actually a huge fan."

so now that grix is destroyed does that mean there's no principal?

Ruben's frantically calling for Wanda

"I'm real right?"

"What happened? I was taking a shit."

"Do you have a warrant? Do you have a fucking warrant?"

Adaine is still dead on the ground

THE IDENTIFY SPELL

grix is untampered with

I miss ayda

29 investigation 🔥

GLOWING STINGERS? GROWING RED? LIKE THE SYNOD?

24 points glowing red

Rage connection!!

"Can we get some hot sauce before we leave?"

HE ATE THE VULTURE FOR NOTHING

"Found another glass of water"

Fabian finally getting his kisses in.

Nat 20 history rat check

SEXY RAT

"You know thats triggering for me!"

Rat stores

"There's not a rat world under the school."

Rat World!!!

BabyBojörn

oh god fig gave Fabian a bardic

sexuality inclusivity for cassandra!

aww..... fabian took bardic from fig earlier...

"You are. Cursed."

RIZ NAT 20!!!!

NOOO YOLANDA

Force damage...

Three hours????

ah yes another use of the identity spell!

"You could multi class into wizard!" "Yeah, add it to the fuckin' pile."

AN UNHOLY LAST RITES

NOOO YOLANDA

There's something under the tree?? glyth???

LUCY FROSTBLADE DEAD BODY

I think Fig's bad luck is genuinely effecting Emily too with all these bad rolls 😭😭😭😭

Did.... Did the rat grinders kill Lucy???????

let adaine use the diamonds. finders keepers

divine intervention........

Kristen will have to work so hard to get cassandra back

spies tongue curse???

"Call an adult?"

"You were such a good teacher, I'm sorry I just got a C..." 😭😭

THIS IS SO HEARTBREAKING!!!

LUCY AND YOLANDA'S SOULS HELD HANDS BEFORE GOING TO HEAVEN. ACTUALLY CRYING

BUD CUBBY THE REALEST EVER

FIG NAT 20

level of exhaustion :(

elmville police departments always on fire

"David..."

AGENT CLARK?!?!?!?

did he just take the dirt like a line of drugs?

one becomes a 10 which becomes a 19

*head in hands* "is it okay if I ask you about your case, mom?"

"So I'm unbelievably wealthy. And me and my friends just discovered the site of a double homicide. So....."

Group IV time, or group shock therapy.

Gorgug putting barbarian first

HE'S DOING ARTIFICER SPELLS WHILE RAGING!!!

"We need a word."

Gorgug talking to Porter is so funny

ok. wait this is actually kinda sweet between Porter and Gorgug

"I feel lucky to have you in my class." 😭😭😭😭

MCAT SIGNED!!!

The Last Stand exam?

KRISTEN MIGHT PASS FAIL?

oh god. 4 stress tokens

I wonder if the intrepid heroes are aware of the 5 stress token

"I'm in a lot of school."

Gorgug looking into building a time machine real as hell

Oh my god gorgug is still on the owlbears

"Okay I think I have to lie down."

I'm going to fight the wizard teacher

"I love my life. Everything is perfect."

"... YOU'RE WORKING?"

AELWYN LONELY ARK

10 CATS??

aelwyn and adaine bonding 😭😭

AELWYN IS WORKING FOR KIPPERLILLY COPPERHEAD???

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

[number1rizgukgakstan]

FHJY EPISODE 17 LIVEBLOG

Spoilers under the cut

Adaine trying to relax for her friends is so sweet I love her so much

ANKARNA FACE REVEAL??? ANKARNA FACE REVEAL!!!

Fig wrote a song so banging she managed to reach out to and touch her God. I love her so much.

The way she's trying to reach out to Ankarna is so sweet to her. The fact they're bonding over their girlfriends being out of town is insane.

"You have always known" GOES SO FUCKING HARD. BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!

What Fig does to Ruben is lowkey wild when you think about it. What are you doing to that poor guy. What did he do to deserve this.

BRITISH KRISTEN FUCKING GOT ME AGAIN holy shit. K2 you are in my head what is up with you???

WHY IS EVERYONE HELPING HER DO THIS? They're all absolutely deranged I love it.

EMILY AXFORD'S LUCK IS FUCKING WILD. I LOVE IT.

This whole scene is so crazy what the hell is happening

Jawbone is so fucking sweet I love that man so much. He's so great. I love how much Kristen is concerned for him and how close they are. Jawbone's amazing <3

Murph's face while Kristen talks to Bobby Dawn is SO FUNNY. They're great.

Brennan Lee Mulligan how dare you make me cry about Bucky Applebees right now.

AYDA LEFT FIG A TON OF ANCIENT MUSICS I'M CRYING SO HARD. INCREDIBLY SICK BASS FROM YOUR GIRLFRIEND MY BELOVED

Fig talking about her future made me so happy,,, the kids are alright.

DID AYDA LEAVE HER A METEOR SHOWER??? OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HOLY FUCKING SHIT I LOVE LOVE. BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN I OWE YOU MY LIFE. I have NEVER in my ENTIRE LIFE HEARD ANYTHING AS ROMANTIC AS THAT MESSAGE. I AM OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTION. And the ending was just fucking great. "You are not going to believe how much my dad spent on this jet ski" absolute peak comedy.

The foreshadowing of Fig leaving the group is a little sad, but like. You know what? Fig's great. And wherever she goes I know the Bad Kids have her back :)

SHE WRITES AYDA A LETTER [sobs] These two ARE true love!

"A DOG RIDING A HORSE, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?" destroyed me.

PORTER IS EVIL!!! FIG IS VINDICATED!!!!!! FUCK YEAHHHH!

Ankarna and Cassandra's fascinating relationship will haunt me forever. And the fact that Ankarna fell before Cassandra also haunts me. holy hell

AHHHH THEY WANT TO KILL ANKARNA :(

FUCK. YES! Is coming back to fucking bite the party in the ass. Kristen Applebees you have to pull a nat 20 out of your fucking ass

Kristen's bid for president being the key to stopping the big bad evil guy is absurd to me. I love her so much

I love Emily Axford so much. She always swings to the fucking fences with her acting and I love her so much.

GOD I LOVE PORTER he's so fucking evil he's great.

Riz is so smart and Murph's luck has been INSANE. That whole scene had me WRACKED with emotion. His insane spy shit fucks so hard this is so cool.

"AYDA, AYDA MARRY YOU" FUCKING. I LOVE HER SO MUCH

BOBBY DAWN IS IN ON IT, FUCK YEAH

HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT! GOD OF WAR ANKARNA??? INSANE

BAKLAVA IS REAL??? BAKLAVA IS REAL!!!!!

PORTER WANTS TO BECOME GOD??? DUDE. THE FUCKING HUBRIS.

The final battle's going to be at Fabian's party isn't it??? I'm so excited

This group has such good chemistry and they're such good friends and I love them SO MUCH

Riz's ability to case a fucking joint is ABSURD. This man is BUILT for this shit and it's great to see him do the shit he's best at.

The RatGrinder's Plan as its laid out now is so scary, and I CANNOT WAIT to see how this all plays out. Aguefort picked the WORST time to go on fucking vacation.

FUCK SHE WROTE PORTER'S NAME ON THE TEACHER EVALUATION. FiG NOOOOO

THEY HAVE TO KILL THOSE FUCKERS. Maybe the RG's just need therapy but you just need to KILL THOSE FUCKING TEACHERS.

"WAIT, NON-STUDENTS CAN'T VOTE?" KRISTENNNNNNN

Fried Rice Dimension in the Garage, losing it.

"this is too easy" god Murph you're so right this is too fucking easy

FUCK THEY PUT THE CLOUDRIDER IN FABIAN'S FUCKING HOUSE.

THE BEER PONG GAME WAS A RITUAL? FUCK! OISIIN GOD DAMN IT I WANTED TO ROOT FOR YOUUUUUU

"Oh, My Mom's Gonna Kill Me" FABIAAAAAAAN THATS SO FUNNY.

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Kristen Applebees Season 1 Character Playlist BREAKDOWN

OKAY, SO this one is gonna be an ordeal.

I set a 6-song limit for every other playlist I made, but this is the playlist that started it all. So, I didn't have a limit. So it's 12 songs long.

Which is honestly like a normal playlist length BUT it's gonna be a long breakdown which I will lovingly do because I LOVE Kristen with my whole heart. Either way, this is deffos gonna be a long post so read if you want (i would very much appreciate it obvi but I get this is pushing it).

Genres Included: Folk, Singer-songwriter, Alternative, 80's

1. Save the People, The Mountain Goats

When wilt thou save the people? Oh, God of mercy, when? Not kings and lords, but nations Not thrones and crowns, but men God save the people For thine they are Thy children as thy angels fair Save the people from despair

Starting off strong with my main man John Darnielle. John, as prolific as he might be, did not write this song it is originally from the musical Godspell by Steven Schwartz. I was raised as a theater kid and I remember one summer my mom took out our cable and the only things we could watch on the tv were dvds and vhs tapes of musicals, and the 1973 Godspell movie was definitely one of my favorites. Its like "what if Jesus was around in the 70s and was a hippie clown and also was crucified on a chain-linked fence and beaten by cops" ...ah, good times.

ANYWAYS, I don't feel like I need to get into why this is a perfect Kristen song - I feel like it really gets to the divide between the way that Christianity is taught to kids vs the way it is enacted by the adults that do the teaching.

2. Father Texas, Birdtalker

Father Texas on his toes Tells me where and when to go He's a savior, liturgy man He's a stickler and a soap monger Shove it down your throat Holy answer man He says obey and I'll love ya Now I'm doing just to prove And I'm walking out of fear But the devils done

Ok so I was raised Catholic, which I feel like is a whole different flavor of religious trauma compared to Evangelical or Baptist vibes - which I feel like the Helioic religion gives. Either way, this song slaps and really gets to that Evangelical vibe.

3. Big Houses, Squalloscope

I build bridges with these arms I will not build a fortress In the circle around the kitchen table I say my "amen" because I feel blessed Secretly hoping, while joining hands, that you can't feel my trembling fingertips

Here's young Kristen Applebees - Chosen One of Helio- who just wanted to help people. She meets her first non-religious friends, plans to convert and save them, and then straight up dies on the first day of school. She comes face to face with her literal god, is disappointed and grossed out by him, and then is magically (and violently) revived.

Can you imagine her returning home, trying to answer her parent's questions about the first day, making it through dinner, crawling into bed, and just lying there? AHHHHHHHHHHH

4. Under The Table, Fiona Apple

I'd like to buy you a pair of pillow-soled hiking boots To help you with your climb Or rather, to help the bodies that you step over along your route So they won't hurt like mine Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up

Speaking of those family dinners, as the days go by and Kristen gets closer to her party, how do you think she's gonna react to whatever comments her parents make about them hmmmmmm? The result of coming out of your social shell and realizing how bad the people around you really are.

5. Cleric Girl, Sisyfuss

I need my cleric girl tonight So she can bless me in this plight Dress me in crucifixes so they die on sight I need my cleric girl tonight

This is just a fun song I see as Kristen finds her groove within the party, kinda around the DJ brains fight. Also it makes me think of the prayer chain thing that she had the whole party on at some point.

6. Cornflake Girl, Tori Amos

She knows what's going on Seems we got a cheaper feel now All the sweeteaze are gone Gone to the other side With my encyclopedia They musta paid her a nice price She's putting on her string bean love This is not really, this, this This is not really happening

There's something about a Tori Amos song that never fucking misses. This song, for me, kinda gets at the part of growing up when you really start to uncover the truth of things for yourself, instead of listening to the things you were always told. Kristen buys the book of world religions and reads about the atrocities people did in her god's name. She is also told that the "cool camps" she was going to were run by an actual fanatical cult. Yikes.

7. Eldest Daughter, Isabel Pless

Bring me your battered, your bruised, and your scarred Florence Nightingale, to your broken hearts Bring me your bleeding I'll stitch it up with a bow Tugging at the sword in the stone The dormant hero in me is yet to be known Dying to prove myself again, but I don't know how Wanna lay my weapons down Lay my weapons down Want everyone to adore me even though People's emotions are out of my control Smothering fires Letting flames claim my hands I would do anything to be needed Over and over again.

Okay, the thing about this song is that we get the root of it here in season one, and it shows up really lightly, but God almighty, do we get one hell of a payoff in the next two seasons. Damn. The first time I listened to this song I cried. It's on several of my dnd character playlists - because, for some reason, I can't stop making dnd characters with self-saccrificing tendencies. HM! I WONDER WHY?

But anyways, yeah... something something, Christian households raising their eldest daughters to be surrogate mothers and laborers, something something Kristen is a cleric while her brothers are paladins, something something Women being healers

8. Angel Eyes and Basketball, Foot Ox

There are flowers growing all around A massive animal inside of me And it's so ugly, and I'm so broken And I'm so ugly, and it's so broken I am calling all of my friends To pull me out of this hole But they're so caught up in their own shit And I'm so caught up in my own shit

Ok, this is full Christian guilt. I also really like the way this song is one of those upbeat but devastating ones because it makes me think about her inspiring speeches to her party members just being her ranting about how horrible everything is, and then they get +1 to attacks and extra hitpoints. Living La Vida Loca.

9. We Fell in Love in October, girl in red

Smoking cigarettes on the roof You look so pretty, and I love this view Don't bother looking down, we're not going that way At least I know I am here to stay We fell in love in October That's why I love fall Looking at the stars Admiring from afar

Ok, I know this is cheesy. BUT TO MY CREDIT: both the song and the season came out in 2018. Also, you know Kristen would stream the fuck out of this song.

10. Running Up That Hill ( A Deal With God), Kate Bush

And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places I'd be running up that road, be running up that hill With no problems

AGAIN TO MY CREDIT: I made this playlist in 2020 - two years before Stranger Things brought the song back to the general psyche. No shade, of course, to the stranger things; it's a perfect song to choose, and the scene effectively made me cry.

But anyway its here because at her bones, Kristen would die for her friends and has and will (unfortunately) continue to. Speaking of

11. Arms Tonite, Mother Mother

I cry in the afterlife I cry hard because I have died And you're alive I try to escape afterlife I try hard to get back inside Your arms alive

Kristen's dying count is more than double most of her friends at this point - and golly gee just wait till season 2!

Can I roll a nat 20 and then be alive?

12. Glory (Bunker Sessions), Bastille

And all their words for glory Well, they always sounded empty When we're looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven Way down here upon the ground When we're lying in the dirt There's no looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven

I really love this bunker session version of this song; the strings and the piano just give it a lovely honesty. Gorgeous song. Perfect way to end this season

[beatriceeagle]

4 & 8!

4: Vid you're the proudest of?

I can't really pick one, but if I were going to, it might be They'll be Waiting at the Lab, my Good Place vid. (Embedded below because fuck it, that's what we're here for.) That vid does everything I wanted it to do, and the thing I wanted it to do was not easy to achieve, either technically (I spent like three straight hours on a two-second section that absolutely no one will notice) or tonally (The Good Place is a bright comedy, and I was trying to dig a very dark, unsettling undertone out of it) . There's not a thing I would change about it other than the thumbnail I chose. Maybe I'll switch that out at some point.

8: How many wips do you have?

Why would you do this to me personally?

Depending on what you count as a wip, anywhere between a dozen and maybe thirty. I haven't done a count recently. I often leave vids half-done for a very long time before coming back and suddenly finishing them in a crazed bout of productivity, but I also often open up a project for an idea, add two clips to the timeline, and literally never look at it again. I'm not actively working on any vids at the moment (well, okay there's one, but it's barely any work!) because I'm focusing on finishing up my current fic, but when I do get back to vidding, I'd say I have two vids in my active buffer, so to speak: a vid of classic children's portal fantasy illustrations and a Kristen Applebees vid that is hands-down the weirdest idea I've ever had.

[adaines-furious-feast]

Here are a selection of images from my Fantasy High characters build on Sims. It's on the gallery (my handle is bethonie96 if you want to download). Sorry it has a lot of packs.

Characters and rooms beneath cut.

Exterior - Arthur Aguefort. Not my favourite but it is what it is

Front hall - Adaine Abernant. I love it.

Front study - Kristen Applebees. One of my favourite rooms.

Living room - Tracker O'Shaughnessey. Tried not to just go "werewolf" but that pack has so many good stuff.

Kitchen - Fig Faeth. Idk how you can make a kitchen for a highschooler but there we go.

Dining room- Baron. Even if they weren't my fav I would love this room.

Downstairs bathroom - Gorgug Thistlespring. I tried, my guy. Sorry.

Landing - Sam Nightingale. Another one where I tried but I don't know how much you can put in a hall. Also there was a bunch of stuff I wanted to add but couldn't find in debug.

Front bedroom - Fabian Seacaster. I think I was pretty faithful to what we know Fabian's room is like. Just without the giant picture of his dad.

Back bedroom - Bud Cubby. I had so much fun with this one. The bottles on the dresser are for explosives.

Upstairs bathroom - Gilear Faeth. This is the most fun I have had doing a bathroom.

Third bedroom/study - Riz Gukgak. I kind of forgot it was supposed to be a bedroom and just shoved a bed in the corner. I think this is realistic to my guy.

Gym - Ragh Barkrock. One of the better rooms. Found the crab king sign.

Attic - By this point I had two names left. Kind of wanted this name for the last space but oh well. It's Daniel Barkstock and I think it went really well.

Back garden - Bill Seacaster. Kind of just wanted to put the kid's pirate ship and be done with it but I tried.

[verosvault]

🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 5!!!🚨

Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"

Episode 5 "Mall Madness"

Timestamp: 1:57:28

Video Length: 3min. & 53sec.

The Shrimp Jump (pt.1 | ‣pt.2)

Fig jumps with her feet on the seat like it's a skateboard!!! 😂😂🤣🤣💀💀

Murph: "You kickflip the motorcycle." 😂😂🤣🤣

Brennan: "Midair, Kristen Applebees, with a Dexterity we know she does NOT have-!" 😭✋

Fig has two 4th-level spells and she throws two 4th-level Fireballs under her! 😭

Zac: "Gorgug, as he sees this, thinks 'everything's gonna be okay.'" 😭😭😭

I LOVE THAT GORGUG LINE SO MUCH!!! 😭😭😭😭✋✋✋✋

Brennan's reaction! 😂👏

Murph: "I have my hand out on nothing and I think it's Kristen." 💀

Riz: "Kristen, I think this is gonna be a good campaign."

Kristen: "What?!"

Riz: "Shhh-" 😂💀

😂😭

Brennan: "Is the point to land in the tartar sauce or beyond the tartar sauce?"

Emily: "The idea for me is that I light the tartar sauce on fire and land in it."

Lou: "The ramp was done to land in the tartar sauce."

Ally: "We're dipping the shrimp into the tartar sauce." 😂🤣💀

Murph: "It's like doing a dive into the pool." 😂🤣💀

Brennan: "You see- Time stands still! Fireballs are raining from the Hangman as Kristen kickflips it so the Hangman is roaring in midair. Fire roars out of the skull at the top of the Hangman"

Fig: *whispers* "Conor, This one's for you!"

Fabian and Riz looks out and sees that everyone's eyes have become dewy with tears as they look out! 😭✋

Mazey puts her hands on her lips!

Max Durden does that finger snap! 😆😭

Brennan: "All of them begin to almost cry in religious awe as this motorcycle, and it hits tartar, and you just hear a whisper from someone whose face you can't see, because it doesn't matter, because they're just speaking what's on everybody's mind. 'This is gonna be a great year.'"

Fig emerges covered in flaming tartar sauce like Daenerys! 😂😂

Murph's laughter after Emily said that!!! 😂😂🤣🤣✋✋

Brennan: "Mother of Dragons. Mother of Tartar Sauce. You come out as the Mother of Tartar Sauce." 😂😂

There's a hush and then a loud uproaring cheer and clapping!!! 😆😆😆

Ragh tells everyone to get up here and he takes his shirt off! 😂🤣💀✋

Kids start hitting the ramp!

Ragh sails over into another yard! 😭✋

Gorgug: "He's too buttery!" 😂🤣😭✋

Gorgug: "Stop doing the ramp!" 😂

Riz: "You don't have to butter yourself. The ramp itself is buttered!"

Torek is buttering kids left and right! 😭✋

Riz: "Okay, no no no! Un-butter the ramp then! One butter!"

Mazey's fur is soaked in butter!

Mazey at Fabian: "Maximum Legend!"

See you at Basrar's!

See you in the cars!

Zac: "We're gonna need more butter!"

Lou: *sighs* "It's tough to be maximum legend when you just watched a dead zombie god slide out of the Astral Plane." 😭✋

See you in the Tartar!

[walkthroughtheforest]

Okay so I just remembered something that might be the reason for my Kristen Applebees feelings.

When I was 16 I was on holiday when I got my AS level results (part one of the qualifications that allow you to go to university). And I did much worse than anyone, myself included, expected. I remember sitting on a beach crying for hours because I felt like I had ruined my life and it was all my fault.

I had not been diagnosed with anxiety yet and had never even heard of the term neurodivergent. Going through primary and secondary school I had always got good grades despite my disorganisation and procrastination, but the less structured approach of sixth form was really difficult for me to manage, and I didn't know how to explain that to others because I didn't realise that other people were finding it easier than I was. I thought I was just 'bad at being a human'.

I know I was so lucky to have my parents there who loved and supported me. I remember dad pulling the car over, getting out and holding me when I cried, and he just said over and over "everything is fixable, we will fix this." Which is what I needed to hear.

I repeated some coursework, re-sat some exams, I took an extra class, and I did much better in my final year. I went to university, did a course I loved and got a good grade. I work in a field I love.

I'm in my early thirties now, and I still find a lot of the same things hard, but I when I make mistakes or miss a deadline I (eventually) try to remind myself that I probably haven't ruined my life, that most things in life are fixable, or if you can't fix them, you can keep going, your life isn't over.

I guess I'm writing this because I know there will be younger fans out there who are struggling with things that Kristen is struggling with, and I just want to say that it is possible to get through it and even possible to be proud of what you've done even if you have to struggle to get there or you didn't take the most optimal route. If no one has told you, you can fix things, it's okay to find life hard and it is right and good and reasonable to need help and support. Especially if you are neurodivergent, it is not your fault that life is hard and it is right and good and reasonable to need help and support.

Everything is fixable.

[pecan-jelly]

Hello!

I was wondering if you perchance sell prints anywhere? You're stuff is just fantastic. I'm only sad I didn't find it sooner!

Hi! Thank you so much, this might be what makes me get back into drawing!

I do have a Etsy store where I sell small prints (4x6 inches) https://www.etsy.com/listing/1807093424/

I do also want to note that I haven’t done anything with the company that produces the prints before, but they have good reviews so I trust them!

[utilitycaster]

I feel like people don't vibe with Aabria's world building because it feels a bit incongruous (?) with Matt's world building style, in that Aabria's style feels much more rooted in our world. I haven't seen too much dimension 20 but I was thinking of your post about D20 mapping much more closely onto our world and Aabria's style feels more like that as well? An example would be her describing the casino as a 50's Vegas casino. Curious on your opinion on this!

The short answer: I don't know what other people think; maybe they feel like this but I don't. Outside of the Nameless Ones as an organization and the related plot/pacing issues they bring, the worldbuilding Aabria has done has largely been something I've enjoyed. It's certainly a different style than Matt's, but it does not violate what is available within the world. Also worth noting: Matt makes modern references constantly. In the most recent episode he compared the Twilight Mirror Museum to a house in the Goonies, and Evon Hytroga to both Doctor Strange and John Waters. This is just normal DM-ing. If you say "this looks like a 50s casino" your players and audience will know what's up and you don't need to describe every detail of a 50s-style casino. (The choice of when to do this is a really valid discussion that's WAY out of scope for this post but in short, Aabria does this, Matt does this, everyone does this, it's fine.)

The long answer: The post in which I talked about D20 mapping on to our world is not about worldbuilding in the sense of details like "50s Vegas style Casino" and much more about the larger cultural norms within the world. I was actually quite specifically vagueing (oxymoronic, I know) about people who overlay very late 20th/early 21st century US and more broadly western English-speaking (and frankly, often culturally Christian) social, political, and moral norms over a fundamentally different society like the Kryn Dynasty or the Menagerie Coast. Like...it was/is somewhat common fanon that Essek and/or Dorian had homophobic or transphobic parents, or that Jester had a very heteronormative idea of romance. None of this actually fits in the setting: Essek comes from a society that functionally cannot reasonably have a view of gender that exists in our world and we've never, to my recollection, seen any systemic homophobia/transphobia anywhere in Exandria, so the concept of heteronormativity is likely to not even really exist in the way it does in our world.

I also, and not to beat on one of my current favorite drums, find a lot of discussion of deity relationships and death practices in Exandria - and a lot of meta - to be super culturally Christian (even when, and, if I'm being brutally honest, especially when coming from people who were raised evangelical/right-wing Christian and no longer consider themselves as such). And this makes no sense, because like, the gods objectively exist in this world and you can talk to them.

Compare all that to D20, where the country of Solace and especially the town of Elmville in Fantasy High is explicitly supposed to be broadly based on John Hughes movies and suburban teen coming-of-age stories and Kristen Applebees does come from a sect that is a deliberate analog of fundamentalist Christianity; or to The Unsleeping City, which is an AU of our world. In these stories, there is homophobia and transphobia. (Also note: in Cinderbrush on Critical Role? There is implied to be some degree of transphobia, which, as it takes place in an AU of our world also makes sense.)

Like...if we were to transport the culture of the Kryn Dynasty into a world with cell phones or mid-century modern architecture, they are still going to have an utterly different view of gender (and romance/marriage/family/etc) given their relationship to the Luxon and the realities of the consecution process. That's what I was talking about in my post about CR vs D20: the absolute pillars of the worldbuilding that people often ignore for whatever reason, not the surface details.