#spec speaks

[spectator-moon]

AHHHHHHH BUDDY NO

I'm going to cry this poor sweet boy who was so full of rage but tried to live in what was told to him was a good life anyways

JUSTICE FOR BUDDY DAWN

[fantrollology]

would u do me a favor and reblog this post with a fantroll that plays an instrument / instruments, what instrument(s) they play, and a link to a song that is the sort of music they like to play?

[spectrology]

ok so im sure theres definitely some wild hate for skylar because of misogyny but like ill be real shes not very likeable from the start ?

[spectrum-studios]

Hey everyone- I want to thank you all for making my askblog come to life, for the likes and reblogs and overall support!

School will be starting on Tuesday, and I'll be pretty busy but I'll be as flexible with my time and evenly devote it to school and you all.

I'll still do art as it will help me study well in classes!

We can all get through school together! <3

Love you all!

[asterythm]

comin out of my cage and i'

m goin right back into my cage. and then i'm putting the cage on neptune. and then i'm blowing up neptune with my psychic beam attack. and then i'm rebranding my blog entirely

hello!! possibly to everyone's surprise and above all mine, after taking two years to "disconnect" (ie. continue being chronically online but Elsewhere), i actually did come back!! as an adult now too, would ya look at that :)

that being said, two years is plenty of time for interests to change, and for the record, mine definitely have -- at least the specific interest to which this blog used to be primarily dedicated. i was originally going to just start over on a new sideblog, but it turns out tumblr doesn't let you transfer primacy between blogs so i guess i'm just staying here, changing my handle, and making my presence everyone else's problem instead

anyway, probably gonna give it a day or two before i change my username to re-establish my footing in the whimsical wonder of the worldwide web and give yall time enough to recognize who i am + decide whether you both tolerate the person i used to be and like the person i've evolved into enough to want to stay. (ik tumblr is still big on Curating Specific Fandom Cultures so if the knowledge that i wont be posting the same content anymore is a deal-breaker, that's totally fine, i get it!!)

in any case, thank you for sticking w me through this two-year hiatus, and for all the love and kindness y'all showed me in the time before that too. even if i dont really do fandom content creation as much anymore these days, being so supported as a content creator in middle and early high school really, truly meant the world to me. <3

[pikmin-stw-au-ask-blog]

I like how no one has attempted to give someone a creature- because I never said you can't do it-

[spectralwiitch]

i know i mostly just reblog shit but you guys know you can send me asks right

[spectator-moon]

And then people around you go "what do you mean yes you can just do it" and you get even more overwhelmed and not in the Brainspace and fail to do anything productive for a week

No no you don't understand! I want to watch this show/movie, read this book, listen to this podcast, etc.! But I must be in the right mindset and the exact head space to begin, or I just can't!

[spectator-moon]

currently screaming and crying over Eleanor Rigby by Cody Fry

i cant even with it, it is so beuatiful and astonishing that everytime i listen to it i feel like im in a movie

sincerely, me

Such a mood actually

Eleanor Rigby but Kristen Applebees. Do you see the vision???

[fantrollology]

cy actually loves the holidays and used to love going to yule parties and goin out and walking around and looking at the decorations… he still decorates his hive a little he just has no friends LOL

[spectrology]

i sort of wish my irl nickname was even more gender neutral but i have such an issue picking a name for myself. like everything people call me (i have like 4 diff names i go by) someone else picked

[spectator-moon]

@my moots

Choose your two

happy hallowing you can take TWO pieces

[spectator-moon]

"Helio wouldn't have let that happen."

But. He. Did.

I have so many emotions and I saw a couple pictures of Buddy so yunno art did a thing

Also pictures of this with Cotton candy Bitchfuck beside him being the little creep she is

And more Rambles under the cut!

I so desperately want Buddy to not meet Helio. Because he was raised in a cult. He was raised, literally and figuratively, to die in Helio's name. So if he meets Helio, regardless of how he feels about his death, it is over for him. He is done.

I want this to happen.

Buddy Dawn opens his eyes, and he is not greeted by the endless corn fields of his god. No, he finds himself in a forest at night. He hears the skittering of small (and perhaps very large) things moving about, just out of sight, and he instinctively moves to grasp his holy symbol (which, for dramatic reasons, is around his neck). But it is not there. Instead, he meets a hand. It is warm, pleasantly so, under the cool chill of the wind. It carefully takes his, and as his eyes clear, he sees in front of him, Kristen Applebees. But not quite.

The being before him is a Kristen with long hair, in a ponytail, and a tye-dye camp t-shirt (he thinks of a summer camp he went to, and quietly notices the same style). She is clearly not mortal.

But Buddy Dawn was raised nothing if not righteous under Helio's law. So he asks, "Where is Helio? Where is my god?"

She, who he now knows is Cassandra, tells him, "Are you sure he was yours? Or were you his?"

And Buddy thinks. He thinks of days in service where he could barely breathe for the singing, of days where he saw people around him use Helio to do terrible things, of days where he could not eat enough because of how weak (malnourished) he had become and the tests. The tests upon tests of his faith, where he wondered, if only for a moment, if Helio was worth this.

Buddy Dawn hears a branch snap, somewhere off in the woods. Close. Too close. It is so dark in these woods. He realises he may be scared. He doesn't know how to fight. Not really. Rats and spiders can only do so much.

Cassandra takes his hands again, from where they have fallen beside him. She looks him dead in his Helio-worshipping eyes, and tells him, "This is what I offer."

And he thinks, What is she saying? Fear? That is what she offers?

"I," Cassandra says, "offer this. There is doubt. You are in the woods, at night. But you are not alone. I am holding your hand. You cannot be hurt with me. It does not matter what is lurking in the trees. It could be a monster, but it could also be...a fox! Or a rabbit. Just because there is noise does not mean it could hurt you. I am the goddess of finding comfort in doubt, in uncertainty. You do not have to fear."

And Buddy Dawn, Helioic to his very core, begins to cry. "I was a kid. That isn't fair! I wanted to live."

And Cassandra, goddess of the unknown, smiles, and tells him, "Would you like to become alive again?"

He asks, through tears on his bloodstained clothes, "What?"

And she tells him, "Were you ever really alive, or did Helio just tell you that you weren't only surviving?"

And she hugs him, and he feels his throat close, and it is comforting. She gave him a sentence that most Helioic people would run from in fear, and it is comforting.

And Buddy Dawn wakes up.

___

Spreading my Buddy Dawn, prophet of Cassandra propaganda everywhere I go. He needs to be reformed.

[fantrollology]

was there no anonymous designer stuff this year? i dont think i ever saw it going around...

[spectator-moon]

Most of the time, what I really check is the tags and word count. I'm not a huge fan of smut, so if it's a big chunk of the tags, I probably won't read it. My other thing is for my own ableness to be brought into the story it has to be at least 1000 words (though I hold myself to the same standard when writing- but don't worry, write as much or as little as you want!).

Checking Kudos:Hits hasn't ever occurred to me because as a small writer I'm far too aware of the lack of kudos, even if you have stories with many hits. I know I'm a good writer. I get told this when I show my work to people. However, the most kudos any of my fics have (despite this one having over 500 hits) is something like 30ish kudos. That's a cool way of doing it though, might try it!

Another AO3 thing I’m curious about, how do yall decide if something is good enough to read? Usually I follow a rule of 1 kudos for every 10 hits. One because it’s easy math and two it’s yet to fail me. Thoughts? Do you just go for it and pray it’s good?