#konan writes

[konan720]

-Logs from Sapphire-

(Log 1: New Crew)

"Is this thing working?" A rattling, mic-popping noise could be heard as the device was shifted "I think so… if that red blinking light means anything…" a woman sat in front of it, an old relic from a time long past. "Hello! My name is Sapphire! I work for… the 'Company'."

Her work suit color had been customized, whether it was against company policy or not was a guess in the dark. It is two shades of blue (light and dark) with yellow and white trims, the oxygen tanks she carries off on mission are also two shades of teal (light and dark). She had a few decals here and there, but she was mostly proud of the three-leaf clover on her chest.

"I wish I could tell you more, but even I don't know… maybe I did at some point?" She scratched at her cover head, teal visor glistening in the ship light.

The lady sighed.

"My crew…" you could hear clicking in the background, then scuttling, then buzzing with the side of even more annoyed clicking. "Hey- hey! No fighting in the ship!" The lady gave off a few annoyed clicks of her own as she stood up. The noise had quieted down as she walked back.

"My previous crew didn't… survive…" she leaned back and stretched her legs, "I don't know how I'm alive, or why they left me to live…" Sapphire put tired hands down after holding them up like she was explaining a theory board. "Maybe they pitied me, maybe they cared about me… it's hard to be sure with anyone at all nowadays."

"I've asked for a transfer! Or at least new crewmen to join! No one came!" She raised her voice, "Not an answer at all!" The insect-like chatter came back, though it only responded to her loud voice. After that it was quite "now-, and don't ask me how! I'm not even sure! I don't think it's even heard off!" She shifted the camera over to the left "My new 'crew' is a bunch of bugs that followed me back to my ship!"

"They wouldn't leave!?" She gestured to them "But they brought me stuff!?" Saying Sapphire was confused was an understatement. She was probably breaking company rules by doing this as well, but the little guys work hard and she's pretty sure they don't understand her. "Four hoarding bugs! There was… five? But the little pest with wing started attacking me, and I had to defend myself."

The group of bugs looked up at her, then at the thing pointed at them. They carefully walked up to her and politely reached for the old camera "After that, they all started following me." She handed one of them the camera as it was shifted around being inspected "I thought they attacked as a pack once threatened, but I guess they hated that guy too."

There was fighting again, over the camera this time. Sapphire quickly snatched it away before they got too rough.

"They do a good job finding scrap, especially since more of the hostile entities don't bother with the bugs." She placed it back on the command console "Except for bunkers spiders, they can't deal with those. So I take care of them, the bugs take care of me. I find the big stuff, they run off for the little things."

"I think they see the ship as their new nest. A magical box that changes the outside." She chuckled at that. "I hadn't run into much trouble, yet. And I'm thankful for these little suckers… I probably couldn't have made it this far without them."

She didn't want to think about what would happen if she didn't make the quota.

"The job is hard, the company is ignoring me, my crew are a bunch of hoarding bugs; I have to survive somehow." She sighed again, tired about everything "I can still request rations and water, I can still work and move; I guess that's all the company cares about."

"It's not about how it gets done; it's if it gets done, now." She had thoughts about leaving the company, but… she'd heard some rumors, and to be fair she didn't want to test them. If she died a horrible death, it might as well look like she died a good employee. Maybe then the company will notice her again.

But in the end, she's just tired, and this is all she can do. Pass the time before her untimely end.

"End of log one…"

[konan-supernova]

“I’m not waiting for him to get his ass in gear,” Jason snaps. “We’ll take it tonight. Ask forgiveness, not permission.”

“You rarely ask for either.”

“Shut up.”

or: dick isn't dead, but he gets the feeling he's supposed to be.

Batfamily Week Day 3: SOMETHING TO DIE FOR

Undercover | Presumed Dead | “Where were you? I needed you and you weren’t there!”

@batfamilyweek

[princeofuchiha]

Nagato, probably: Yeah sometimes your employees just kill each other. It's just part of running a business.

Konan: Okay but it's been the same guy like. Six times now. You don't think maybe we should,,, idk,,, talk to him or,,, put him on probation or cut his pay or literally anything,,,

Nagato: ...You're right, we should get him an immortal partner! That way when he tears them apart it's easily handled without all that new hiring mumbo jumbo. This is why you're my #1 Konan, great thinking

Konan, going through all the stages of grief: ...Thank you, yeah, okay.

[vulpisnocturna]

There was only one bed - Horny Akatsuki Edition

request by @takhidk 🤍

SOFT NSFW



Deidara:

-is completely speechless when he finds out there is only one bed at the inn during your mission together

-acts cocky though, telling you not to make a move on him

-he’s the first one to make a move, saying the bed is too small (he is literally 5’5” lmao) as he scoots closer to you

-you tease him about it and he tells you to shut up, his cheeks red

-he’s never had sex before but what he lacks in experience he makes up for with his enthusiasm

-you have to tell him that his hands are a gift, and how to use them, but he’s very happy to comply

-‘wouldn’t it be better to make the bed explode when I make you cum, hm?’ he asks, and you look at him, eyes wide

-‘no, Deidara. Unless you want this to never happen again’

-‘fine’

Obito:

-can’t believe himself. He hasn’t slept in the same bed with anyone ever

-decides to play dumb with his Tobi persona, hugging you like a pillow

-in reality, bro is dying to have you close to him

-after a while, though, he gets quite worked up, and decides he’ll have his fun with you. He can tell you want him by the way you casually move your ass against him, as if he couldn’t notice

-he blindfolds you and takes off his mask, starting to kiss your neck, letting his voice drop to his normal tone

-‘you know what happens to little things like you who poke the rattlesnake, right?’

Hidan:

-As soon as he sees there’s only one bed, he’s all for it

-‘I bet you asked for one bed, huh? Guess I’m just irresistible’ he grins cockily

-‘Yeah, right’ you say, rolling your eyes, though you have to admit he is hot.

-‘Let’s fuck’ he says, as forward as always. You stare at him, swallowing painfully

-When you hesitate, Hidan practically throws you on the bed, ripping the cloak off of you and licking your exposed chest

-‘Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have some fun, you and I’ he says, pulling your shirt up and starting to suck on your nipples, a bit too rough, but the pain soon mixes with the pleasure

Itachi:

-blinks and stands in the doorway, looking at the double bed. ‘There must have been a misunderstanding. I will solve it, don’t worry’ he says, disappearing towards the reception. You kind of hope they won’t have any other rooms, although the idea of sleeping with Itachi is both hot and terrifying

-when he comes back, he does not look too happy

-‘I am deeply sorry about this. They do not have any other rooms. I will sleep on the chair’ he says, removing his cloak as he goes in. You do the same, and you don’t fail to catch his eyes on you for a split second. As you get into bed, you stare at him, sucking in your lips

-‘Sleep on the bed, Itachi’ you say after a while. He looks at you, his throat bobbing before he slowly gets up and crawls under the blanket, staring at you. He wants to touch you, but it would be inappropriate. He can’t get himself to move. And yet, when you move closer to him and push your ass against him, he can’t contain himself and wraps a hand around your waist, pulling you closer

-‘Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing. Let me indulge you, then’ he says, his hand slipping under your shorts as he starts to kiss your neck languidly

Pain:

-Is quite pissed off that he was not given two rooms, but when he looks at you, he can’t help but think this must have been fate

-and after all, he hasn’t had that chance in so long

-he saw the way you looked at him, with a blush on your cheeks and suggestive eyes

-‘lie down’ he says, tone authoritative, ‘and take off your clothes’

-you can’t believe your ears. Though when Pain gives you a meaningful look, you quickly do as he says, though you’re blushing and trembling with anticipation

-‘let’s make the most of this unfortunate situation, shall we?’ he says, running his hands on your thighs, splaying them open for him and staring at you with those hypnotic eyes

Kakuzu:

-is fuming at first. No one can mock him like this

-after that, though, he’s quite pleased with himself

-‘Less money to pay like this. We will do this from now on’

-‘Uhm… Kakuzu? Where are you going to sleep?’

-‘On the bed. I am going to get my money’s worth, brat’ he says, removing his headband and mask. You look at him, suddenly hyperaware. He’s… good-looking. For a 90-year old guy, he’s handsome

-when you shift slightly to find a comfortable position on the mattress, black tendrils catch your wrists and you find yourself tied up

-‘You’re a handful. Do not move’ he says, hovering above you. You think he’s going to knock you out cold, but instead, he positions himself between your legs

-‘I don’t want to hear a sound. Or else’

Kisame:

-laughs it off when you’re embarrassed that there’s only one bed

-‘I suppose there’s nothing to be done. Might as well get comfortable’ he says, taking off his cloak and his shirt. You stare at him, your lips parting at the muscles on his body

-‘It’s not a shop window. You can look and touch, if you want’ he says with a sharp grin

-You blush, nevertheless getting closer to him, until your hand is resting on his chest

-His large hands easily lift you up from your waist as he holds you against him until you have to wrap your legs around his hips

-‘I didn’t even need the bed, but since we’re here…’ he says, lowering you on the mattress and grinning as he unfastens your cloak

Sasori:

-‘I don’t need to sleep anyway’ he says, sitting at the desk and turning the lamp on as he starts tinkering with one of his puppets

-You frown, lying down on the bed. The noise of screwdrivers and nails clattering on the desk is pissing you off, and you decide to see if he really is a puppet who doesn’t feel anything at all

-you move your hand between your legs, underneath your underwear

-‘what are you doing?’ he asks, voice smooth, but he doesn’t turn around

-‘nothing’ you say, smirking slightly and gasping softly as you start to touch yourself on the bed.

-‘rude’ he says, and when you try to move, your hands are frozen. When you look at him, there are chakra strings connecting his hands to yours

-‘I suppose I can play with you instead of my puppets tonight’

Konan:

-Blushes when she sees that there’s only one bed and asks you if you want her to look for a different inn

-you tentatively tell her it’s okay

-when you two get into bed, you keep glancing at each other, and you keep looking at that piercing underneath her lip, wondering what it would be like to kiss her and feel it against your lips

-when she moves, you’re frozen in place

-her lips are soft and you do feel the coldness of the metal on your bottom lip, but it’s quite a nice feeling

-Konan gets on top of you, continuing to make out with you, neither of you saying anything as you start to undress each other

-literally the most normal experience you’re gonna get in the Akatsuki, and she’s stunning too! Go you

Zetsu:

-watches you sleep like a creep

-sorry, I got nothing on this “guy”

[lycheelune]

Day 4 of Sasori week, love.

I wrote a oneshot of snippets from times people have shown Sasori love. Since it’s his birthday I wanted to focus on how much Sasori means to me and how much I love him, so this is fluff. Read it here!

And these are the illustrations!

[obitos-whore]

The Ame-orphans as your adopted children headcanons

────────────────────────────────────

When you told them that you wanted to adopt them, they all teared up. Even Yahiko, who had always put on a brave face for the sake of his two friends

They were so grateful and happy that they even offered to help you with the chores

Yahiko, despite being used to acting tough all the time, is actually a big ol' baby and probably the most attached to you. Although he fiercely denies it

To him, it feels nice knowing that he can drop the brave act and be a child again, without having to constantly worry about his friends and his own well-being

He's also a cheeky little prankster and that certainly doesn't change with age. If anything, he becomes more creative but never to the point where he could harm others

A sucker for bad puns that aren't actually funny, but you'll laugh anyway because his laughter is hella contagious

His room is almost always messy, though he calls it "Experimental order"

Konan is the responsible one, who often has to chide her friend for his pranks, especially when poor Nagato is the target of them

Will not hesitate to throw hands with Yahiko if he's being particularly annoying and even chase him around the house with her paper shuriken

As a kid, Konan was just as touch deprived as her two friends and thus greatly appreciated the cuddles and good night kisses her adoptive parent gave her

Whenever she had a nightmare, she would try to suck it up and curl up under her blanket, whimpering and sobbing softly, before eventually coming to your room to ask if she could sleep in your bed. She just doesn't want to be a burden, or come off as a baby

After telling her that she's not a burden if she needs someone to talk to or even hold her during her darkest moments, the wall that had kept her from reaching out "too often" disappeared and now you're the first person she talks to about literally everything

Her room is always tidy and her clothes are neatly folded. Even as a teenager

She's an early bird and will often help you prepare breakfast

Nagato is the softest of them all and, just like Yahiko, very attached to you

He also shares Konan's mentality of not wanting to be a burden and often keeps his struggles and worries to himself

Only when he can't hold it in any longer will he break down and cry his broken little heart out

He's a very sensitive and touch starved soul and despite not wanting to come off as bothersome, would hold onto you and cuddle with you for hours. Sometimes even nodding off or straight up falling asleep in your arms

He loves helping you out in the kitchen and will eagerly listen and watch when you teach him how to cook

Just like Konan's, Nagato's room is also very clean and neat

He's the quiet child who enjoys reading a lot

He really loves it when you read to him as he finds it soothing to listen to a dearly loved person's voice while slowly slipping off into the land of dreams

Just like Yahiko and Konan, Nagato is plaqued by nightmares of the war and his parents' passing and is constantly torn between coming to you for comfort and remaining in his bed and dealing with it himself

Will need a lot of reassurance from you that it's okay to come to you no matter how late it is and ask for comfort

[nothanksidontwanttodie]

Obscure Things I think the akatuski members collect pt 1

This is going purely off vibes and my own hyperfixations(I cannot stop)

Kakuzu: taxidermy frogs. He keeps them in a briefcase, it has caused problems. This may be due to the fact that he himself looks like bad taxidermy.

Itachi: cubes

Konan: ok so y’all know like, garden stepping stones? She would collect those for no damn reason. She HAS a garden, but those stones stay stacked up in her room for the day she know shall come when she can discus them at someone’s(obitos) head

[yellowocaballero]

Obito shivered dramatically. “Puppets are so scary. Too many joints. Sasori-senpai can put bees or snakes or more bees or anything in their heads and you don’t even know .” 

Hidan sneered at Obito. “Jealous that the puppets have anything in their heads?”

“Does Hidan-chan like Sasori-senpai’s puppets?” Obito asked innocently. “Sasori-senpai will make Hidan-chan a lady friend if he asks. Oh! Just watch out for splinters.”

“I don’t do that,” Sasori said. 

“I wasn’t gonna fucking ask you to do that -”

In which Obito continues to find out after decades of fucking around, this time featuring The Practice Children.

Unfortunately after writing this I began to actually give shits about the Ame 3 so expect them to come up more again later in different works.

[konan-supernova]

"The cold helps neutralize him," says Bruce, talking about Dick like he's a threat.

"It'll keep him from hurting himself," says Barbara, talking about Dick like he's a child.

They're both correct right now, and Jason hates it.

or: jason learns something new about his brother.

Batfamily Week Day 4: OH, TO BE YOUNG AGAIN

De-Aging | Miscommunication | “I just crashed the Batmobile!”

@batfamilyweek

[silbaria]

Akatsuki came to Brazil

Commission info ✨ || Ko-fi ☕️

[princeofuchiha]

I wanna write an akatsuki band au so bad vs I can't think of a fun plot I'll bother sticking with: The two year anniversary

[sasukeless]

is it just me or could the straight ending couples been a lot better? i mean of course the endjng couples are just forced heteronormativity, but like, if you’re gonna do forced straight couples, you might as well do mediocre ones, instead of just incomprehensible ones? like instead of putting choji with karui, couldn’t they put him with a konoha girl at least? and sakura and Ino ending up together seems still more logical to me than sasusaku and inosai (i mean i love ino and sai but they’re just one bisexual woman and one gay man in a relationship this thing can’t work)

they are bad because kishimoto did not care and paired everyone up so they could make a cashgrab sequel w a new generation. there was no thought there besides money

[ardenrosegarden]

In England, English and Norman barons kill each other to seize the throne and in France, the Carolingian unity having been shattered, the little Capetian king managed his meager possessions under the vigilant and hostile eye of the great feudal lords who watched over over their strongholds and control his every move. Brittany, if it wished, could finally spread its wings. Conan III is careful not to do this and is content to govern peacefully, only too happy that the English and French ropes which hold him by the neck are suddenly so weak. A good duke, good husband, good Breton, he has everything going his way, but was unfortunately a bad father; on his deathbed he disowns Hoël, his son, and chooses as his heir Conan IV, a little boy of 9 years old, the son of his daughter Bertha.

Gilles Martin-Chauffier, Le Roman de la Bretagne

[flower1622]

The akatsuki members are frustrated that the ninjas from Konoha are getting close to find them.

Obito: We need to think of a plan and fast!

Pain: I'm already trying to do that!

Obito: Well, think harder!

Pain was about to attack Obito, but Konan stops him and shakes her head. Pain sighs and the akatsuki members discuss their different ideias to distract the ninjas. Obito notices that Itachi was away from them.

Obito: Hey, you!

Itachi only looks serious at Obito.

Obito: You thought of something, didn't you?

Itachi: Maybe.

Obito: Share with us.

Itachi looks at Kisame and the shark guys only nods his head, so Itachi complies.

Itachi: I thought of a person we could kidnapp.

Obito: Who?

Itachi: Hinata Hyuga.

Pain: A hyuga?

Konan: isn't she that quiet girl that keeps following Naruto?

Itachi nods his head.

Obito: Why would we want someone like her here? From what i saw, this Hinata isn't that strong and she is also very shy.

Itachi: But, she is special. Trust me.

Pain: What do you mean by that?

Itachi: She comes from a big clan from Konoha and everyone there has a soft spot for the Hyuga girl, especially our target.

Pain: Naruto?

Itachi nods his head.

Itachi: I don't know how, but she seems very special to him. He loses his mind when something happens to her. He would be very easy to capture if we had Hinata. So, that's why I thought of a plan.

Konan: Which is?

Itachi: We capture the Hyuga, make her see things our way and connect our life to hers. The only way to defeat us would be by defeating Hinata. Naruto would never let something happen to her. Instead of taking the kyuubi and killing Naruto, we could use his help and maybe turn him into a spy. He values Hinata more than the others. We could make their bond get stronger by showing images of everything Hinata did for him, reinforce his loyalty to her. We also would have to make Hinata feel loved and comfortable with us to win her trust and loyalty. We would already have two allies.

Pain: Interesting...

Everyone starts thinking that Itachi's plan could work pretty well or fail pretty bad. But, they don't have more time to think, they need to try anything.

Obito: And what do you win with that? Tell us or i'll get it out of you by myself.

Itachi: My brother.

Deidara: Your brother?

Itachi: Yes. He may try to sound cold and heartless, but i know he cares very much for the blonde boy. He wouldn't let anything happen to Naruto. If we get Hinata, we get Naruto and consequently, we also could get Sasuke. We would have two of the strongest people of Konoha.

Obito: Oh! This is something else!

Everyone, except for Itachi, gives devilish smiles thinking how they could destroy Konoha with only one girl.

[everykonan]

ch. 446

[yellowocaballero]

oh geez kakashi of the roleswap au is rin?? That's why Obito stabbed him bc he got the sanbi and then they thought he was dead but he was in akatsuki- is this anything am i crazy (if this is spoilers then you don't have to answer but) WOW if I'm right this is really big brain roleswap, bigger brained than what i already glimpsed of this 😍😍😍😍

I don't want to say everything, partly because it's not very definite and set in stone for me, and partly to preserve some of the mystery (Also partly because you guys have such good ideas, I wasn't planning on keeping her alive before you guys made me think about it jkasldf) .

Once you decide that Kakashi just doesn't have the right kind of crazy to do the shit canon!Obito does, and that we need to dedicate the story to women's wrongs, the roleswap gets really hard. Because a) Rin has no character. and b) there's no third person to swap with Rin. It ended up becoming a sort of shell game, where Obito's role got split up and Rin ended up adopting some other roles from other characters. Lots of room for creative freedom. Maybe the essential evil of the story can be a girl who saw the world fail the people she cared about, and decided to rewrite the world to create a safe place for the people she loved. In Naruto, it takes a very kind and loving person to be a genocidal megalomaniac.

Kakashi, meanwhile, is somebody most marked by his loyalty. His love is less idealistic and large, and more cynical and gritty. I connect him to Konan: somebody who follows the dreams of the person they love, and who makes the dreams happen. Yes he is absolutely just fucking around in the Akatsuki, being a lazy bum and annoying Kakuzu and Hidan to death. Yes he is Rin's personal assassin and shadow monster. He has layers. To me, he's a somewhat-comedic loyal goon/wifeguy who loves his partner-in-crime/world peace and who sometimes enters a dissociative state and commits atrocities. What, is that a crime all of a sudden.

The Ame 3 ended up being a big part of the swap, and a lot of the swap ended up happening between Rin & Nagato and Kakashi & Konan. Yahiko, this is YOUR hero academia! The Akatsuki are NOT a terrorist organization! They're nice guys! Look, Deidara and Sasori are artists, they're respectable - okay, Hidan and Kakuzu aren't respectable, why are they in our peace loving organization - why do our political enemies keep dying - Konan, what do you mean 'don't worry about it' -