#knowing full well I'm a Cancer and just enjoying the show

[saintshadow]

Why is Venus retrograding in Aries dragging you by the hair?

PILE ONE

Because you are so unbalanced in how you give and receive love. You struggle to find balance perhaps between yourself & others. Either giving TOO MUCH of yourself or too little of yourself. Hot & Cold emotions & tendencies, black & white thinking. You're becoming more self aware as a result of this retrograde Venus. I heard Venus return, so some of you could be Aries venuses. You could also be a Libra placement, 7her, cancer, or capricorn placements as well.

You're seeing another side of yourself, and you're starting to realize that you're not who you think you are.

That isn't a bad thing either, in fact it's a good thing. Because you are realizing that you are more worthy more valuable, more YOU. My friend is currently playing the album from Britney Spears breakout "I'm an adult" album, and while I'm not well versed in that particular era of her career- I WILL SAY, maybe you are being dragged to reannounce yourself.

You're recreating or crafting something about yourself, I also heard denying instant gratification. This Venus retrograde is trying to purge you of addiction to instant gratification. If you can master this lesson you will unlock something new in your career. 🥰🤞🏻

If you enjoyed this reading you can cop a full length personal for 15$ 😸

PILE TWO

Because you struggle to receive, you desire and yet you reject what it is you truly want. You don't know the difference between discipline & self isolation or starving yourself of what you want. To enjoy the splendour of your love life, of food, sex, WHATEVER it isn't a crime.

Go after what you want and take it, Venus retrograding in Aries is asking you if you're going to be a doormat about it or if you're gonna get up and tussle.

It feels like you struggle to accept or allow others to love you, it's a very broken defense mechanism. The reality is that YES people can hurt or betray you, but you are robbing yourself of joy & pleasure by pushing everyone away & punishing people who genuinely love you due to your inability to cope with the intensity of your subconscious fears.

Youre being forced to make the decision to sink or swim psychologically/emotionally. Either you push yourself to love and receive love, or you go through the same set of lessons AGAIN.

🤷🏻‍♀️

If you enjoyed this reading you can cop a full length personal for 15$ 😸

PILE THREE

To be honest the breakdown of this pile is really interesting.

So it seems to me as if you are essentially being pushed to the brink. While it may feel very intense and like a punishment, or as if you're going through extreme emotional losses or ups and downs this is actually helping you break past a barrier that you have created & to show you that you are stronger than you think.

And through the destruction of this barrier you're going to gain access to Divine blessings, that you have been begging for for quite some time. Now of course, it's not just going to be handed to you and thrown into your lap. You have to work for it, you have to shed blood sweat and tears for it. This Venus retrograde is trying to teach you the reason for your hard work. It's trying to show you the value of your hard work and I think that sometimes as we are going through the process of doing that work we don't always feel like it's working or we don't feel like we're seeing what we want to see.

We must first make the internal changes to see it trickle into the world around us.

This Venus retrograde is about finding your power and bringing what you desire to you.

It's basically a check-in that is meant to help you shed old skin and purify yourself for a new beginning.

No longer is there need to speak upon the past, or to live in the past. The time to release is now, the universe knows & sees your intentions but you must do the transformation on your own this time.

The training wheels are officially off honey buns.

If you enjoyed this reading you can cop a full length personal for 15$ 😸

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello amazing fandom :) Hope you are doing well. Hard to believe after this one we only have 8 left. Which makes this ep being somewhat a dud just a bit of a bummer IMO. We only have so many and they've been killing it this season. Truly making it count. The first 9 have been so good. The last 4 episodes just phenomenal. Week after week. It's easy to see where this one missed the mark.

I haven't minded low Chenford or even some crumbs if the entire ep is good like last week was. This one wasn't that unfortunately. Now 9 really good eps out of 10, being amazing so far isn't something to sneeze at. It's an outstanding achievement. S7 has been incredibly good. But this one definitely pales in comparison to the rest of the season.

As they say they can't all be home runs LOL Now there were parts of this episode I really liked. (Like the final Seth scene was primo) Those will be the parts I'm covering in this one. As a whole not their best. But I didn't not enjoy the full hour. Except the for Guitar guy but I'll get into that in my side notes. Off we go :)

7x10 Chaos Agent

Nolan bitching to Chenford about his song pretty humorous. Lucy not giving much sympathy is even funnier. Also loved her belting a little piece of the OG song. She's so cute I cannot. John has enough of her supportive shenanigans and takes off. lol

Lucy is left with Tim who was on her side till the serious bit. Giving her a sassy comment about not generalizing. I have zero doubt she gave him so much shit while they dated and he took some of it seriously. That's her 'experience' right there if you ask me ha. At least part of it. Love her face as she delivers that line. Smitty interrupts our crumb with his raccoon emergency lmao

Tim shoving Smitty's ass in the room I'm cackling. He doesn't have time for your shit sir LOL Lucy’s disappointed face when there is no raccoon is everything. She is so adorable. The animal lover in her wanting to see the little trash panda. Forever adore her being an animal lover no matter the animal. I am her and she is me haha

I love Lucy touching Tim's forearm when he says to neutralize the raccoon. There is no need to touch him so much Lucy.....Her hand all over that sexy forearm. Not once but twice. Also, them having opposing views on this, giving me 6x02 vibes with the bugs in her apartment, LOL. Miles is so cute in this scene too btw. He's really grown on me and his battle with this raccoon most of the ep was delightful.

Lucy was not jazzed with Seth showing up on his day off. I am never happy to see him either so I feel this. The irony that Seth is blown away by someone coming up with a crazy lie is wild. Pot meet habitually lying kettle. This kid is something else… Good lord... I knew the moment the doctor walked up and recognized Seth, it was the final nail in his lying liar coffin.

He is so terrible at said lying it’s painful. Lucy is on his ass from the moment he said ‘Used to be.’ So he used to have cancer…Kernel of truth with the lies. Just like all his others. I'll give it to him. He's nothing if not consistent with that. I have zero doubt, and so does Lucy; he used this to save his ass from being bounced from the program back in 7x05.

I was pretty damn certain but this officially confirmed it for me. Just look at Lucy as this convo goes down. Her stomach is turning over and over. This is not something to be ignored any longer. This doctor has accelerated his timeline out of the FTO and has no idea.

Lucy spots Luna and catches her. Cuts off Seth's incessant lying to do so. Dude knows he's a marked man when she departs. I adore Luna being a resource for Lucy on this. This has been such a good shift for her character to have. A useful one at that. Other thing I love is her telling Lucy she won't tell Wade unless she has to. You're a real one Luna.

Of course Seth switched to the shadiest doctor in the place. That sounds exactly right. When Luna was giving her background on this doctor, I thought, 'No doubt he’s paying this dude to make up shit for him'. She then confirms it at the end saying he's exactly the type of physician to be paid under table for that. Luna also putting to shame his BS answer about insurance. That little shit is dead in the water after this scene.

LOVE LOVE LOVE that she calls hubby right after. My heart. It's the little things fandom. Tim giving her the best answer she could receive. It's brilliant to draw his blood. He gets zero say in it and it'll finally nail him. I was wondering if anyone was actually monitoring his shit. Clearly not… But that sounds like health insurance tbh. Only looking for liabilities nothing else. Loving this plan though. No way for him to lie his way out of this one.

Probably wondering why I did a gif of this one eh? It's because of how Tim is with Smitty. How soft he is when he finds him. The concern in his voice when he asks if he's ok? Then after Smitty apologies the sweet tap on his knee to let him know it's ok. Be still my heart. I just loved this moment of softness from Tim with Smitty.

Our boy has grown so much it makes my heart ache in the best way. Not only is he kind but the tap to his knee is all the reassurance Smitty needs. Also just an antithesis to earlier when he shoved him into the office for the raccoon. Does my heart good to see it.

We get to the best part of the episode IMO. Seth's judgment day. Oooh boy I've been waiting for this! haha We all have. I mean holy hell look at Feral Tim staring down Ridley. Hot damn. Doesn't break once with his intense glare or sharp tone. 'Yes or no Officer Ridley.' *fans self*

Like to point out how important it was that Tim was there with her. What this means to Lucy. He was right next to Wade to be a United Front for her. Tim was with her to the very end on this. We know how hard this was going to be on Lucy. It was important her pillar was there. She does a good job keeping a stern face at first.

Especially when Seth looks at her. Drawing strength from the two men she needs most in this moment. They don't beat around the bush with him and it's much needed. This kid needs a reality check and fast. Wade and Tim don't mess around with him for one second while this unfolds.

Love how Wade and Tim tag team Seth about what is going to happen. It's a no you're gone. If it's a yes and no cancer. You're still gone. It's a lose lose situation for him and Ridley knows it. It's here we really start to see Seth come undone. From his body language to how he handles himself in this convo. With zero grace or accountability.

When he feels the tide rising against him he tries to pull the 'Woe is me card.' One that has served him well up until this point. Spewing he can be better. No honey you can't. You're on the 4th or 5th chance at this point bub. You're not getting better. You can't own your mistakes to save your life. Or be honest ever. His rant about his rights. You gave those up when you became a probational rookie my son.

When he starts to panic and turns to Lucy this is where we start to see her crack. The tears starting to form in her eyes. It's killing her because for awhile she wanted to believe him. Truly she did. Her natural instinct is to see the best in everyone. He took advantage of her kindness and exploited her empathy for his own gain. I wonder if she is going to second guess her instincts after him? I would even though there is zero reason for her to. I would be feeling pretty tore up and hurt. I imagine she will be too.

Melissa be killing me absolutely killing me when he says no to the draw. You can tell Lucy is wrecked about this. I can’t say I’ve been there in terms of a replica of Seth. But I did have a kid on my team I whole heartedly believed in. Trusted him. He exploited my kindness and empathy. It was quite the burn to my self esteem. He turned out to be a nightmare of Seth’s level.

Even when he was eventually terminated I felt the weight of it. Relief yes, but I carried it with me. Even though I had done everything right I could’ve with him. I still shouldered some of the responsibility. I know Lucy is feeling that. She is an empath and deeply caring one at that. This is going to stay with her for a little while I think.

Look at how Set avoids both Lucy and Tim and only comes at Wade. Knowing Tim would destroy him if he went after Lucy. I kinda wish he had but this kid knew not to poke that bear. He sure as hell didn’t have the balls to go after Tim that's for sure. So he focuses all his crazy rage on Wade, who handles it like the champ he is. Tears his defiant little ass down. Even with his last breath he couldn't own up to a single thing. Hiding behind a threatening lawsuit he will not win.

Tim takes over with some serious death glares about what happens next. If looks could kill you'd be one dead washed out rookie. Kinda wished we could've seen them send him off from the station but that's ok. I feel the aftermath of this will be in the next episode. Lucy's face at the very end is the final dagger to my heart. This is gonna rock her for awhile I can feel it.

I also have a feeling we are not done with him. Seems like the kind of little weasel that knows all the dirty back channels for a settlement. Don’t think we are quite done with him. I could be wrong though. I know Melissa did a nice shout out post for him that made it seem final. But I'll believe it when I see the final ep of this season lol

If we aren't would love for them to find out about his NWS lie with the road. If this was the end. I've wanted to say this all season but wanted to wait till his demise. Well done Patrick. Holy hell. What a starter character for him to break into tv with. You did such a good job. I truly hated your character's guts my good sir LOL Fantastic job.

Thank you as always to you amazing readers who like, comment ( chatty chat with me) and reblog these thoughts each week. You're incredible and I can't tell you the deep appreciation and love I feel from each one. Excited for next week. Our babies sharing a shop during the madness. Always happy to see that. Shall see you in 7x11 next week :)

Side notes -non Chenford

Ok I didn't super love the Rodger storyline. I'll be honest. It felt awkward and stilted. His SL felt like a sore thumb in a mighty intense episode. If he just had the cold open ok maybe. But to dedicate part of the ep to him?

I wasn't about it. His songs made me wicked uncomfortable in a second hand embarrassment way. I got massive Skip Tracer Randy vibes from it. No offense if you like STR he's just never sat right with me and the tone of the show lol Also Celina needs better taste in men she could do better than this turkey IMO. Ok rant over. haha

Loved them bringing Lisa back to help James the callbacks are great. Tying it in with when she got shot and how long the process is. Poor Nyla though this is so rough on her. Not just the recovery but their marital stuff they still have to work out on top of it. It’s a lot. Proud of her for not rushing to the station to help.

Will say every time Tim says ‘Juarez’ with that slight inflection always gets me a little hot and bothered. Mmmm.

Ok Zuzu made my skin crawl. How violating. Didn't like that one bit.

Poor Miles all episode he tried and Celina got him LOL I really enjoy his he is quite the cute puppy I never expected to love.

[russell-crowe]

If you want an excuse, go off about Rhod and Greg plz 🙏 I'm a Taskmaster girlie and I've seen some of Greg's comedy specials but outside of that I don't know much about him/his friendship with Rhod and I'm curious from all the little snippets you post about them 🥹

hiiiii!!!! i'm sorry i left this sitting in my inbox since thursday evening, but this honestly felt like a “buying flights” kind of big-screen commitment, and i wanted to make sure i had (1) my laptop and (2) the energy to really cook something up in response.

i think taskmaster is such a fun first introduction to rhod and greg, but it becomes even funnier once you know more about how their friendship works and where it comes from. the format of the show makes rhod come off as a bit of a meanie towards greg, but in reality, they both bicker just as much, and half the time it’s greg who goes into full Big Meanie mode first. by now, that kind of verbal jousting is basically second nature for them. :’)

mind you, i know most of this from rhod’s side of things, so i’m definitely missing some of greg’s perspective. (sorry not sorry, i have actual days worth of material to go through just with rhodtent (rhod content))

so. they actually met on a comedy course that rhod’s girlfriend at the time signed him up for. greg has talked about meeting rhod in those early days and thinking he seemed “aloof, maybe a bit rude,” which, honestly, tracks. rhod in Very Shy mode can definitely come off as a bit distant. but from that course, a friendship started to form. they ended up doing edinburgh fringe together (they shared a flat for it, which they reference to in taskmaster), performed comedy together in the uk, and did gigs abroad in places like asia (where this story is from) and australia (this story). greg says they "literally started out together" and that "rhod and I have always enjoyed what seems like a humorous, jousting relationship" ;_;

here's a pic of them and two other comedians (who i shall not drag into this post) in 2003:

one of my favourite things about watching them interact is how obvious it is that they care about each other, even if they’re not great at talking about feelings because they are Men after all (please read that with irony). like in rhod’s shyness documentary, where greg goes “i thought we were going to talk about my shyness” and rhod just stares at him like “your shyness?????” and they both look baffled.

and what really gets me is how greg clearly finds rhod’s brain delightful. he’s always laughing at his weird little tangents and poking at him to keep going. as someone with a slightly scrambled brain myself, i find that really comforting. it feels like greg provides this safe and funny space where rhod can just exist as he is without needing to explain himself. or it gives greg material to heckle him about.

they also just get to be really silly together. greg still has that grown-up-but-still-a-silly-man energy that you hear about in stories from his teacher days, and rhod is basically a full-time inner child with a comedy career. i love how they bounce off each other, just grinning like school boys. greg will come up with something oddly specific like “i couldn’t focus because your voice is annoying,” and rhod immediately tries to counter that like a 7-year-old like “well i had to look at your FACE!!” and it’s so dumb but so charming because it’s them?? you feel me??

there’s also this really sweet bit on the stand up to cancer comedy roast where rhod meets up with his two best friends, greg and barry (barry’s the one in my earlier gifset of them climbing kilimanjaro). they’re still joking around, and greg really does not hold back with the darker humour, but under the surface you can feel how relieved and grateful they all are to be there together. it’s very ;__;

and like. ok. if your brain is unhinged like mine and puts on shipping goggles:

the way they’re physically comfortable with each other is fascinating. rhod has kind of a weird relationship with touch. he’s a hugger with friends but also used to cut his own hair because he hated being touched, and he always kind of hovers just out of frame in photos with others. but with greg (and some other guys) he's very touchy and Close and silly and poking at them Quite Literally, so i love the idea of him just quietly growing closer to greg until it’s normal and unspoken and just what they do. but they never address it because of the aforementioned Inability To Talk About Feelings. :)

the old couple bickering dynamic hits different when you imagine them as an actual couple. the banter feels like second nature at this point and honestly if that isn’t love what is (i say, starving for a relationship like this)

i know it’s them being silly but when greg casually goes “strip to the waist, see what happens” or “you’ve kissed me before, i’m sure” or "you can't say rhod and greg davies, people might think we're married" or shaves rhod on camera while laughing like it’s the most normal thing in the world... the shipping part of my brain simply lights up like a christmas tree.

i think they really compliment each other’s insecurities. in my writing (which is still rotting peacefully in my google docs) i keep coming back to this idea of rhod having someone who makes him feel safe and accepted and protected. i love emotionally vulnerable rhod so much and while that is also very much There in his current real life marriage (which i truly, truly adore - they are literally perfect for each other); it's fun to explore a... different type of softness and emotions in a male relationship? but purely in fictional rpf land.

also. grumpy adopted stray and its tired handler. that’s the dynamic. that’s them.

anyway. this spiralled. but i love them so much and i’m so glad you gave me an excuse to yell about them for a while. thank you for coming to my brief ted talk! if you want to get more into them, i recommend listening to the time they were stand-ins on bbc radio 2 together (it's them at their silliest), watching their episode of world's most dangerous roads and watching ask rhod gilbert (it's... an experience). i can hook you up /w those!

[paulisperpostridie]

hi , my name's paulisper

if you’re not sensitive to mild flashing and want to know the full ‘jist of my existence, check out my strawpage!!

leave a little letter as well, if you'd like...

if you’re not into that.. well, here’s some basic info -

i'm a gay selfshipper who’s been using it as a coping mechanism for ~5 years.

i made this a completely separate blog from my main because i’m afraid of people finding me ! but if, just by happenstance, you stumble upon this blog and recognize me from it….. shhh........ that is your secret to hold, ok?…. i hope you enjoy the slop…….

he/him , i’m a guy , a minor, white mexican-american… enfj 7w8....cancer... i’m also autistic!

i have THREE f/o’s!

ric.ky fitn.ess from the aquab.ats s.uper sh.ow (# 🦇🥁, quicktime) win.slow le.ach from phan.tom of the para.dise (#🐦‍⬛🎹, writer’s rock), and tom.my coo.latta from hal.f lif.e vr but the ai is se.lf a.ware (#🥤🦮, paullatta)

i’m not too sure if i’m fond of sharing ricky or winslow… it’s not that i consider our relationships serious, it’s just a social anxiety thing….. i’d say it’s something along the lines of mirror-sharing though, so if you’re alright with doubles, i’m alright with you,🩷 especially if you’re willing to talk about our guys together!

outside of selfship and drawing… i love writing, reading, film, architecture, dolls, and especially music... i’m really passionate about all of these things, and would love to talk to anyone willing!!!!

please do not interact with me if you're an 18+ blog, dar.kfic/dead dove blog, or an rpf blog (no hate to the three of you, really.... i just dont want that here!) anti-palestine, antisemitic, or a terf. (you guys should explode!)

(user boxes by machineillness )

and just to be safe (but it should be obvious!) i should clarify that i do not ship with the real musician mr. fal.omir... just the tv show character he plays….

thank you for reading!

since you’ve come this far… maybe consider signing up for my taglist maybe? u_O?

[anaslair]

I'm a very, very kind-hearted but vulgar pan girl, 171cm/5"5 and brown eyes. INFP and zodiac Cancer. Daughter of Hypnos.

I tends to do songs puns. I love rain, video games and fantasy novels. I'm also a History nerd, i love everything war History (battles, sieges, random acts of bravery etc) and mundane History (how and what peoples used to eat, read, listen to, anything.)

I'm a loyal and secretive person (you can trust me at keeping secrets). I'm a big softie but not naive, i know the world is cruel but im as good as can be.

I'm always willing to help my friends or just peoples in general, my friends nickname me "Auntie".

UGHHHHHHH I love this character sO MUCH 😩🛐 she’s one of my favorites from the series so I rlly hope you enjoy this anon!!

Tysm for requesting!! Have a great day <3

I match you with…

Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano!!

-Disclaimer-

Since the requester did not specify the age range for the match up, I’m aging her and the character up to pair them comfortably!!

After fighting Gaea, Greek and Roman demigods practically became one big/chaotic family

From that new found partnership, an exchange program between camps Half Blood and Jupiter was created

Demigods from both camps could spend short periods of time at each other’s place, learning new skills and such

You were absolutely thrilled to participate. You loved your Greek ancestry and all but you already knew everything about it. It was time to learn everything you could about Rome and it’s rich history

Arriving on camp grounds, a guy named Frank Zhang showed you around. Apparently he was a praetor, which you thought was kind of intimidating, but the guy was so sweet and easy going that before you knew it y’all were chatting like good ol’ friends 🤝

He helped you settle into your room before sending you off to meet the other praetor, a girl about your age

She was supposed to inform you of your duties and schedule you’d be following on camp, so you made your way to the Senate House where Frank told you she’d be

As you entered the big, elegant construction, you searched for her, not having any success after investigating the main room

Well, you could sit around and wait for her… or you could snoop around a little 😋

The place was so beautiful and so full of ancient artifacts that you couldn’t help but open every single door you found 🤩

As you entered yet another corridor, you suddenly heard voice

It sounded like someone… No- a few people were arguing

As you got closer, you heard whispering, accompanied by a voice that sounded louder than the others

You walked towards the door where the noise was coming from, catching the end of a very concerning conversation

“…traitor” the whispers said

Your eyes widened

“Stop. I didn’t- it wasn’t-“ The louder voice tried

“They’re going to find out about what you did. You’ll be executed” The whispers continued

“No I- Be quiet. Go away” The voice pleaded

“Justice will be made, daughter of Bellona. You will be punished” The whispers taunted

“GO AWAY”

The sudden scream made you lose your balance, your body accidentally pushing the door that separated you and the voices open

You almost fell into the room. As you regained your composure, you saw what looked like… a few ghosts? That vanished into thin air as you stared at them, leaving you alone with a very disturbed girl

“Oh gods, I am so sorry. I was just-“ You started

Before you could finish, your back was harshly pressed against the wall, a cold knife against your throat

“Who are you?” The girl growled

It took a lot of explaining to get your throat out of imminent danger, but after finding out you were one of the Greek demigod exchangees, she quickly let you go, apologizing profusely

You were scared and extremely confused, but you also felt bad for the girl. You had intruded in something that you definitely should not have heard

By the way her pupils were dilated and hands were constantly opening and closing into a fist, it looked like she was trying to ground herself. Failing miserably at it

She asked you how much you heard of what was said in the room

You were scared, but told her the truth regardless

She seemed to be about to have a panic attack so you quickly told her that you weren’t going to tell anyone about what you had witnessed

You told her it didn’t concern you, and you’d respect that. No one would know

She was completely baffled. You were just going to keep her biggest secret- just like that? You didn’t even know her and you were offering to help? Just like that?

She was so used to having her back stabbed, to good things crumbling out of her life (I love Reyna sm omfg she deserves the world ☹️) that this just seemed like a trap

But what choice did she have other than to trust you?

She hesitantly nodded, putting her knife on its sheath

“So, who are you? I mean- what’s your name? And would you by any chance know where I could find a praetor?” You inquired, trying to change the subject

“Yeah, I know where you could find one” the girl said, her features seeming to relax slowly, turning into a small smile

“Oh thank gods, I’ve been exploring- I mean, looking around for quite some time now and-“

You were interrupted by a small laugh coming from the girl, who offered a hand for you to shake

“I’m Reyna, one of camp Jupiter’s praetors”

Well shit

The days that followed were better than you expected. Being at camp Jupiter was a bit tiresome (the place was way stricter than camp half blood) but you were learning so much about ancient Rome while meeting so many nice people that you couldn’t complain

And of course, there was Reyna. You didn’t know if she considered you her friend or if she was only being nice to you so you wouldn’t spill her secret, but you were grateful for her help anyway

If it weren’t for her, you’d be absolutely crushed in combat lessons. You seemed to find the history and strategy behind it way more interesting than actually being in it, which was rather amusing to her

You both started to spend a lot of time together, your shared interest in Rome’s past bringing you closer as the days progressed

You almost lost your shit when she showed you New Rome, your eyes shining as you asked her a million questions per second about the place

To be honest, she found it cute👀👀

You were getting kind of getting attached to her. She even read a few of the fantasy books you brought to camp so you could discuss them together

One time, you took her to play Mario Kart in your room

It ended with you almost DYING from laughing at her while she was defeated, not by you, but by the console itself and the technology that was so foreign to her

She almost killed you when you called her an old woman

After some time, everyone started noticing Reyna seemed… happier. She was less strict and way less stressed than usual🧐

Everyone knew something was definitely up when she actually laughed in the middle of a Senate meeting

Frank was walking around the room while Reyna sat down in one of the two praetor seats. She usually let him handle these types of meetings since he was new at being a praetor

He could use the experience

He went through some important notices and such, then got to talking about the last party thrown on camp grounds (this is canon!! ☝️ apparently camp Jupiter knows how to throw a good party🕺)

“…also, I know we all love a good party. But let’s go easy with the dancing while holding weapons yeah? We don’t want a murder on the dancefloor”

From where you were sitting, you immediately looked at Reyna, surprising yourself as you met her gaze

Was she already looking at you?

Your face flushed a little but ANYWAYS-

You mouthed to her, your face dead serious “…You better not kill the groove”

Fuck oh my gods that was the worse song pun EVER

Reyna couldn’t believe she let out a snort, covering her mouth in the process, regaining her composure as everyone watched her incredulously

Okay maybe she had a crush on you

It was a rainy day, just the way you loved. You were sitting in your bed, book in your lap + warm drink in your hand while you waited for Reyna to finish making hers so she could join you for a reading session

But instead of reading, you just watched her as she sat down beside you, giving you a smile before opening her book

She could feel your gaze on her. The tip of her ears started to get slightly red

“What?” She finally asked, smiling with an inquisitive eyebrow raised at you

Her smile fell as she saw your troubled expression

“Nothing. It’s just-“ you hesitated

“Hey” She said softly, closing her book while scooting closer to you

“What’s wrong?” She asked, looking into your eyes, putting a hand on your arm

You couldn’t hold it in anymore

Shifting your gaze to the ground, you asked her to tell you the truth

Did she only hang around you so you wouldn’t tell anyone about her secret?

Her eyes hardened, her hand retracting from your arm

You stared at her, waiting from an answer

But it never came

You knew it, you were right. She just didn’t wanted to hurt your feelings by admitting it

You stood up, setting your cup aside

“It’s alright, you don’t have to be around me anymore. I wont tell anyone either way-

“No! Wait” She exclaimed, grabbing your wrist before you could walk away

You turned to her, surprised

Her eyes were watering, her grip on your wrist tightening

She inhaled weakly before saying

“I’m a traitor”

“Reyna, it’s alright. You don’t have to-“ You started

She interrupted you by telling you everything. How she killed her father so she and her sister could escape, how that could get her exiled, or worse, if anyone found out

When she finished, you had a hand covering your mouth, eyes wide

“I-I didn’t tell you because I thought you wouldn’t want to be around me anymore-“

You cut her off by hugging her, catching her completely off guard

You told her you’d never distance yourself from her off of something like that

What happened wasn’t her fault

She hugged you back tightly, the tears she was holding in now streaming down her face

You pulled apart from her slowly, wiping her tears softly with your thumb

She stared at you with such intensity that it made you let out a small gasp

She suddenly put a hand on top of the one you rested on her face

Looking into your eyes, she said “I hang around you because�� I care for you”

You smiled, telling her you obviously cared for her too

She laughed a little, shaking her head. “Not like that” she said

She was still sitting on your bed, while you were standing in front of her

She pulled you closer. Now, you were standing between her legs

She let go of your hand, placing both of hers tightly around your waist

Then she stood up, her face dangerously close to yours

With her lips hovering above yours, she repeated her words in a whisper

“I care for you”

[genericpuff]

Cait comp'd her book to The Locked Tomb. THE LOCKED TOMB COMBINED WITH LORE OLYMPUS. NO. NO NO NO. IN WHAT WORLD ARE THESE TWO IN THE SAME SENTENCE. I NEED TO SCREAM.

Apologies in advance, but these are two polar opposite series and it's a joke Cait thinks she can combine the two without Gideon Nav manifesting in her apartment and throwing hands. Oh my god.

I won't try to do spoilers here because I think you would personally vibe with the series, it's right up your alley and I highly recommend the audiobooks, especially while drawing. It's currently three books and the last one (the fourth book) should be out in Fall 2024. The Locked Tomb is starkly gothic and dark (gruesome death, resurrection, body horror, weird twins, turbo cancer (an actual quote from the books), and so much more), full to the brim with horror, sci-fi, and modern-day political commentary, and is apologetically queer as fuck. I'm talking lesbian enemies to friends to lovers, I'm talking Maori-coded rugby player who loves to talk about her porn magazines while trying to keep her homeless chihuahua of a girlfriend from getting herself killed (said chihuahua controls skeletons), I'm talking using clever ways to sneak in memes, I'm talking loving the side characters as much as you love the leads and the author loves them all too, I'm talking Catholic guilt but make it sexy and gay, I'm talking a literal ghost shows up with a fucking gun. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's a series you need to re-read multiple times to try and figure out every little detail and people to this day are still finding out foreshadowing from the first book alone. There is no random lines or dropped ideas, every little detail is planned out and connects. It's great.

To compare a series made by an insanely smart and openly queer woman (who is also from New Zealand, shout out to Tamsyn Muir) to a series that obsesses over a straight couple down to making it a Blue Boy and Pink Girl, a series that acts like putting in queer characters are a chore, a series that treats sexual assault like a minor inconvenience at worst, a series that can't even plan a week ahead much less years, a series that is written by an immature woman-child like Rachel, is so offensive to me.

Well damnnn I'll take this as a glowing recommendation! It def sounds like something I'd enjoy. I've been wanting to get more into audiobooks so maybe I'll make The Locked Tomb my first stop ;3 If/when I do get around to it, I'll definitely let y'all know my thoughts! <3

[truths33k3r4]

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your followers, mutuals, and all the wonderful people on here! \(˵ˆ ³ˆ˵)/

Hey, Phoebe!! :)

Okayyyyyy one more- Uhhhh alrighttt

Reading Fanfics for TMNT~ I cannot say this enough. The TMNT fandom is the greatest I've ever seen and been a part of. It is FULL TO THE BRIM with creatives who love the shows, the comics, the movies.. And when I find a story written by someone about TMNT, I am so excited to read it. :) Yours especially, @phoebepheebsphibs!! Yours and @boots-with-the-fur-club's "Double Mutated Mikey", as well as "Until I Found You", "No Fun in Fungus", and "Hide N Seek" have all been such amazing reads. And they've all inspired me so much not only as an author myself, but as an artist too!! So thank you for all the inspiration you have sparked in me through your beautiful stories. :)

Reading Fan Comics for TMNT~ AGAIN WITH WITH THE INCREDIBLE FANDOM!!! Tumblr is packed with so many beautifully and skillfully illustrated comics. Here's but a few that I've really enjoyed!! :) ( @indieyuugure's Rise of the Parallel, Indie TMNT, and The Mutation Situation, @allyheart707's Little Subjects, @kathaynesart's Replica, @renisrandom's In My Heart I Know, @heretherebeturtles-comic, and many many more. :)

Drawing the TMNT brothers being goofy/angsty/hilarious

Drawing the TMNT brothers being sad/depressed/struggling. Mostly to help cope myself, and help others cope. The saying " Write what you know" really is true. When you're struggling/sad/angry, one of the best things I have done to help calm myself down is draw how I feel. ( TW cancer/death )A while ago, one of my church friends passed away very quickly from cancer. It happened so fast, in fact, that I never got to say a proper goodbye. So, with these unbridled emotions, I drew a mini comic, passing down how I was feeling to Mikey mourning over losing Klunk, his cat. It helped me EXPONENTIALLY to just get my feelings out, but in a way that wouldn't hurt me or anyone else. And I recommend doing it for anyone who's hurting. <3

Knowing I'm not alone~ I have my family, I have God, I have Jesus Christ, I have my friends here and in my every day life, I have art, I have creativity, and I have a community. :)

Thank you for the ask, Phoebe!! Felt good to get that all out. :)

~ Melissa

[br4inr0tx]

Heyaaa can I get a match up for Attack on Titan? <3

Ece here,21 female cancer entp.I'd prefer a guy but any gender will do :3

I'm usually a cheerful person with lots of energy, I'm quite outdoorsy but an ambivert. I'm that one person who isn't afraid of going to a cinema,concert etc alone xD I don't easily get angry,jealous etc. I'm the calmest person I know,on that matter I'm quite tolerant. Also I tend value my own independency a lot but I strongly respect other's too. On this matter I often called out to be 'cold' or 'uncaring' even though I care for my loved ones unconditionally :// I think I'm not very good at showing emotions,best I can do is to clown around to keep my loved ones happy and honestly I get uncomfortable when people get too emotional too soon in romantic relationships.

Also my love language can be anything but acts of service,they are a little rare D: I tend to go for quality time or physical touch,when I feel comfy enough -which takes some time- I straight up glue myself xD

As for hobbies I like to write,read and to cook exotic foods. I obviously watch anime quite often too D: I generally like trying different hobbies -anything- just to drop it a couple of months in. I very sadly do this when it comes to my romantic relationships too and I feel like I might be an aromantic but the idea of dating with an aot guy is quite charming xD Thank you so much already and I hope this is enough because I feel like I've revealed too much D:

I’ll keep it real; it’s been a long ass time since I’ve touched aot. I think last time I watched it genuinely was 2019. I’m trying my best with these aot requests but I might take them down temporarily, rewatch the show, then put them back up idk.

That being said, you sound like an epic person girl, keep doing you. 👍

PS, I get what you mean with relationships. It’s really hard to date people in the real word- especially when there’s perfect anime dudes who’d be willing (in ones imagination at least) to date you. I struggle with that myself, but know there will be that special person eventually. Nobodies perfect, and don’t keep your standards too high; and eventually you’ll find the one. 🖤🦇

warnings: discussion/depictions of PTSD, Anxiety, and DID.

your Attack on Titan matchup is.. Reiner Braun !!

• I think Reiner would be a good match for you.

• He enjoys your energy. Often times it gets him out of a funk he’s in. Not to mention he’d always give you a cute little pat on the head as thanks for cheering him up.

• He also appreciates the times where you can be really chill. He needs those moments of relaxation sometimes. Hell, you’ve seen what he’s been through.

• Though out of everything, he appreciates your patience. He suffers through some PTSD and DID as far as I’m concerned, so as long as you’re patient with him he’ll be patient with you.

• I believe he’d enjoy someone who’s independent, as he often does things his own way, and would rather not get an ear full from someone who’s a heckler for the rules. Much so, he lets you do your own thing as well as long as it’s not detrimental and hurts you.

• He gets remarks of being cold and uncaring as well, but really the two of you are just either really chill or focused on something that you don’t even notice you have a resting bitch face.

• He thinks it’s adorable when you try to make him feel better. He often goes through identity crisis, so to have someone bring him back down to Earth is nice.

• Quality time is a bit dicey for him, obviously because of his job. If you’re Military Police with him it might not be as much of an issue. Though physical touch happens as much as it can, as Reiner can be very possessive and handsy.

• You’re hobbies always interest him. He’s the type to go through hobbies one month to another like you, but when he sees a hobby you actually stick to he tries to encourage it more and more.

• Also, he’ll fulfill any romantic needs your heart desires, promise~.

• Your runner ups are Erin and Connie!

• Reiner will always have your back, and hopefully you’ll have his?

[bunposting]

hi bunposting, new zealand rabbjt anon here- unfortunately i have suffered a loss recently. the doe that i’ve raised and loved for the last three years died suddenly a few days ago without any reason as to why. logically i know that as prey animals, rabbits don’t show illness until they’re basically on deaths doorstep, but it’s been a hard time anyway. she was a wonderful mother, very sweet and full of personality, and with some really great genetics that led to me making sale at a couple livestock shows with her kits. i’m missing her a lot but trying to focus on my other two rabbits.

which leads me to adding my own experience onto your other post:

first things first, you are totally right that the huge amount of hay/veggies is ridiculous. both to balance with their feed and to buy that much fresh produce

my rabbits get hay if i remember it. so like once a week at most. i’ll give them a bit more if i notice there’s a lot of hair in their poop to help get their guts moving a bit more, but that’s really it. hay is expensive as all get out and since they’re fed a complete diet it’s not necessary as a daily requirement, just a treat. and i never give them hay when their babies are out of the nest box. i’m raising them for meat and hay is filling with few calories, aka the kits will gorge themselves on hay all the time and not gain any weight

i do give them fruit and veggie treats pretty regularly, but i never go out of my way to get produce especially for them. it’s always leftovers from the kitchen. bananas that have gone soft, lettuce heads, strawberry tops, watermelon rinds, whatever. they enjoy a treat, and we have less food waste, so win win! they’re our little compost bins!

but the main thing is that despite what aras/hrs wants everyone to believe, rabbits can totally have a lifelong diet of pellets and only pellets with no problems. the veggies aren’t requirements, just fun treats to add on top of an already compete diet. i’ve always fed my rabbits this way, and i’ve never had a single GI issue

(some may say ‘well what about your recent death’ and while i can’t 100% rule out a GI issue and will likely never know the true reason for her death, that just seems like the least likely option for her personal situation)

Hey Anon! Sorry for taking so long to reply, it's been a busy week.

First of all I'm so sorry about your loss. It's so heartbreaking to lose any animal you love, let alone one you raised. It's obviously a bit too late now, but I'd be on high alert for any other sudden deaths in your rabbitry, especially if you're somewhere where RVHD2 is active. If there are more that die suddenly and unexpectedly, I'd recommend talking to a veterinarian about next steps including how to get the remains tested for the disease. Rabbits sometimes do die without much warning for other reasons (heart attack, heat stroke, undetected cancer, etc.), but you definitely have to be careful now that RVHD2 has spread to places it hasn't historically been able to spread much to.

Everything else you said totally tracks though. Feeding kitchen scraps to your rabbits can be an awesome way to reduce food waste, but (as I'm sure you know) it's super important to do some research first and make sure that the scraps you have are safe for your rabbits to eat/what quantity of those scraps are safe for your rabbits to eat.

[cuteh0nkk]

I'm free

I've noticed I've had a pattern of writing about freedom. During the last couple of years, in my diary, freedom has been a main theme at times. It's a reminder that I am free from the suffering, hunger, hurt and abuse I've encountered within my family and old friends. I am free to do what I will. I have the liberty of being myself. I have the liberty of sharing who I am with others and being loved for who I am. During my time, I've encountered people who have loved me but I did not know how to love back and they left. Not because they didn't care, but because they knew that I could not give love, that I could not care, that I could not share and that I was just a person who took. I am no longer a toddler, a child or a teen. I am a full grown woman. I do not have to be a child anymore to protect myself. Now that I am still growing, even thought at times I feel useless, lonely and hopeless, I can see that I do not have to hide who I am anymore. That I can be myself for once. That people DO care about you and what you have to say and what you like and do not like. That some people understand, they understand that it's hard for you to open up but you keep showing up. They understand too well because, maybe, I'm just guessing, maybe they went through the same thing too. All the things that I had to share and who I was, I had to hide for my own safety. I could be whatever I wanted all this time but I did not have the right circumstances or the right help at the time. Still to this day, i understand it is not the right time. On that note, I did not like certain things because at that time, I was not fed enough, my conditions were not ideal and I associated things I did not like with the hunger pangs and the weakness I felt. All because I could not be better than her. Yesterday, she told me she might have cancer and It was a vortex of emotions. I was sad but I also found joy, as fucked as it is; I found joy in the suffering of the one who has made me suffer for so long. I felt so much pain that the person I love almost the most in the world would also have the disease. It is so hard to be free. It is so hard to care. Regardless if she has it or not, I know that she is dying. I find joy in the fact that I will rejoice when she is gone. I find pain in the fact that she won't be there anymore when she does go and I will face all this alone. I won't feel safe ever again in the world if she is gone. I do not know how to feel. She has never let me be me because she wanted an extention of her, she wanted to not suffer loneliness, she needed me to be who took care of her like a child but who I would be would not flourish on those circumstances. I read about learning how to be the other day, how to know who you are and what you like and I am implementing it slowly. I am accepting the negative parts of me and the positive parts of me and finally being honest. I am not lying to myself anymore about the things that I like anymore. I am not lying to myself about what I should like, What i expect other people think I should like, to behave as what other people would expect, as if someone's watching me over my very shoulder. My old therapist expected me to have been molested by one of my parents, and i still don't know why. I read stories of children being hurt in a similar way to mine and I can't help but see that they felt the same way at the end if they were lucky to leave and have a long life. It gives me hope that I will be able to be a good mother at times. This is all just ramblings of my mind. I'm too old to not have been a loser and I should've known better but when you live your whole life dissociated, you can't really do much. I learned that taking my own decisions hurt so much more than just letting life go on on its own but who am i if i am not my decisions and who am I if i just let it be? Who am I if i do not enjoy who I am to the full extent of my power and Who Am I if i am not awake.

[princessconsuela120]

❃ ALYSSA ❃

Chapter seventeen: Art Deco—❃

Series masterlist

Chapter Warnings: foul language, everything with teotfw and with euphoria

Authors note: Enjoy guys! All rights reserved to the show the end of the f*cking world.

—❃

“Alyssa? Wake up.” Fezco said, softly shaking me awake as we arrived at a gas station.

“Okay. Imma keep the engine running, you get out, fill up, just a little bit. Well, enough to get to your dad's, and then we drive off before nobody notices. Okay?” He explained, making me nod happily, smirking at him teasingly.

“You've really come out your shell, you know?” I said, nudging him with a smile.

“Huh?”

“It's hot.”

“Shit.” Fezco said, blushing brightly before I kissed his cheek, getting out of the car to fill up the tank.

“Morning!” The lady who worked there said, smiling sheepishly at Fez and I. I smiled back, raising my eyebrows to hope to lead her away.

“Hiya.”

“Need a hand?”

“No, you're all right, thanks.” She squinted her eyes at me before looking in the car at Fezco, then down to the wires he used to start the car.

“You can't fill up with the car running, can you?” She said, raising an eyebrow at me as I smiled fakely.

“What? Oh, yeah.”

“Can you turn the engine off, please?” She said to fezco, watching as he moved the wires to stop the car.

“Full tank?” She asked, getting more and more suspicious.

“No, we only want a bit.”

“Better to be on the safe side, isn't it?”

“Okay, sure, fill 'er up.”

We waited for the tank to fill up and I swear my stomach was doing flips. If this is what gets us caught I swear to fuck…

“Let's go in and pay, shall we? After you.”

If this is what gets us caught, I'm going to kill myself. From shame. Shit, shit, shit.

“This young lady would like to pay for pump number seven. Frodo.” She said, smacking the counter to catch the attention of the young worker behind the counter.

“Cash or card? Would you like to buy a key ring? It's for cancer.”

“Not now.” The lady hissed, making Frodo frown.

“Cash or card?”

“Have you got a bathroom?” I asked urgently, the lady shook her head as she stared at me.

“No.”

“Isn't that illegal?” I said, squinting my eyes at her.

“We don't have one.”

“Yeah, we do.”

“Shut up!”

“Do you want me to wet myself?” I asked sassily, making her glare back at me.

“Do you want me to call the police? They might like to know where you got your car from.”

“I need the bathroom.” She grabbed my hands, holding them behind my back aggressively. “Ow! Get off me! Ow!”

“Frodo, call the police!”

Oh we are so fucked.

[nnaeilujsajirdnes]

"Cheerful Adventures : Tales of my Life"

Hi! My name is James Ryle, Often called as "Sing-Sing", "Ting-Ting", but I prefer to be called by my second name which is "Ryle". I maybe weird, but yes I am huhu. I am the 1st born child in our family, first "buang" to be born haha. My life is like riding a bicycle, however I don't know how to ride bicycles so I stumble more often then get up again to get going, that's my life.

I am an introvert but extrovert at the same time. I am Bisexual, mixed but not matched huhu. My childhood was fun, truly. I'm friendly like every where I want to talk to someone but sometimes I prefer to be alone, Crazy right? Mood swings like a girl huhu.

I like intimacy so much but I'm too shy to accept one. I love cats, my mum and I have the same liking with our pets. My zodiac sign is Cancer, hard to say but yeah I'm too emotional sometimes-everytime. I take everything to heart. I got many insecurities because of this behavior but when I'm with my friends, I feel accepted and comfortable which make me forget about my insecurities. I love them.

I was the first to be born from the four childrens of our parents as I've mentioned earlier, my mother name me as James Ryle, weirdly beautiful. My father always jokes about how I look when I was born, he said I look just like my mother haha. Well I don't care, my mother for me is the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life. I can't say I'm a momma's boy because I'm very disobedient child to both my parents huhu. I love them but I'm too shy to express and show it. I'll figure it out some day, I hope. I would hug them so tight close to my heart, they're the most precious creature to be created by God for me. Ok back, I actually can't remember what happened to me when I was a toddler, of course, but my beloved grand parents and my aunties and uncles and of course my arents was there to tell me bout my behavior when I was a baby. They said I was so cute, well I think I'm not huhu. They said I almost got adopted by a couple because of poverty but my grandparents didn't agreed, thankfully.

I was loved and supervised by my lolo and lola when I was a toddler, they even brought me to bohol where my auntie lisa and uncle emang live, when I learned to stand and walk. My grandparents introduced me to my relatives there, we went to site seeing ( pasyal ). They said I was so random that I almost swallowed a jelly container ( those jelly something that is everywhere to be found and it costs you 1 peso for one ) then they said I almost slipped at my aunt's kitchen because I was so naughty. Well what an adventure for a naughty kid. The most random part is the reason for our sudden leave. Huhu, my grandparents got into a fight, a nonsense fight just because of the plastic nipple like thing of my nursing bottle is teared and they are fighting, finding who is to be blamed huhu. Well yeah after that we went back to Lapu-Lapu where we actually live.

My childhood is full of discoveries, what do you expect from a naughty kid huhu. I think I almost tried all the kinds of games, except for expensive ones. Chinese garter, tumbang preso, dodge ball, buwan-buwan, and more, so much to mention and to explain how satisfied I am with my childhood. I've met many peoples who left an unforgettable memories in my childhood. When I was like 5 or 6 my mum introduced me the school and why I need to go to school, "Basta naa kay stars gikan ni teacher dal an ka og pasalubong sa imong papa", like that which make me excited to go to school. Well I enjoyed schooling anyway, I don't think I'm a fast learner but I love learning.

As time pass by, I slowly developed my interest in Math, the most unwanted subject for most of my classmates in elementary. Well I view it as fun like how challenging it can be to find the correct answer. At my elementary days I was rarely seen to be in the top students, "well what do you expect from a naughty kid " huhu. Atleast I'm having fun, I value fun all the time like as if there is no tomorrow. After all I'm just a kid, I don't know how valuable education is for my future. Now I regret not being serious woth my education when I was in elementary and junior high school because I missed all the opportunities for new learnings and more. Well now I'm working on my best to get a high grade as preparation for higher education. Now that I have grown such age, I got many realizations about life. I now appreciate my parents more.

I am 17 years old now, currently taking up Accountancy Business and Management, the strand that aligns with my interest. Planning to take Bachelor of Science in Accounting (BSA) course in college. Unfortunately, my budget doesn't agree with my dream course. Well I have a second option course which is Secondary Education major in Mathematics. In the meantime I'm working with my requirements to apply for a higher education. I am still striving for development in my skills and capabilities as preparation for college. I have this belief which makes me very lazy, "Nothing makes me productive than the last minute." Which why I'm always training my self to be more productive and should value time as gold, but undeniable that this laziness made me really expand my creativity, the mindset that wants a more faster way and easier way to complete the task while still values the output. On in all, in the present, I'm really proud of what I have accomplished now, thinking how far I've come now to just surrender by this pressure, but, this will not stop now, I will work hard to make myself and my parents more proud of me.

Thank you for letting me share my story.

[violetsystems]

#personal

I've been enjoying a long bout of complete sobriety since late May. Breaking out of any routine can be a bit behaviorally jarring. But I don't really know that anyone noticed the change because I keep to myself. I'm sure the dispensary misses the chance to set up revolutionary actions behind my back. But for the most part, dealing with the personal pizza of the political around my own home is psychedelic enough for me these days. With Bastille Day in full swing, I got to thinking this morning about Derrida and consequentially the remake of the outer limits. The writing in that show is perplexing enough to wake up to the subtitles in the middle of the night. But one particularly episode where a poltergeist is loose in someone's home is questioned by the male friend. "Have you heard of Occam's Razor?" You'd swear he was about to mansplain Roko's Basilisk. But it's something I've needed to hear lately. Basically that the simplest of theories is the most logical in a realm of competing conspiracies. Derrida explains this in the concept of ghosts as simple being a symptom of the future. Whereas the nostalgia of the past movements, holidays, and systems tend to be firmly rooted there. Sventlana Boym describes this pretty well in a book called The Future of Nostalgia in which she describes the hyper reality going on around people during the collapse of the Soviet Union. Ghosts to me have spoken louder than the drama around me. One quote more than many by Gil Scott Heron echoed by the late DJ Rashad building off the revolution not being televised. Nobody ever sees the revolution in your mind. And this speaks to me as the future in terms of Derrida. How the individual freedom of the mind and soul is somehow lost upon the order of the past. The future is always chaotic. Always in flux. Some Scientologists come up with complex science fiction mythologies to root it back in the past with timelines and infinite versions of the self. Some Hindus and Buddhists describe the ego death and the inescapable binding of karma. Neo Marxists tie themselves to a book by a bearded guy who wrote about labor before the internet. Jesus, ironically, outside the tenets of religion is the ultimate ghost and was punished quite famously for it.

My point is not to berate the freedom of belief and religion but simply talk about the fear of a future tied to individuals. What I took freedom in America to be was the right to personal liberties, life and pursuit of happiness as protected by the constitution itself. Which seems to have been infinity stoned out of relevance by money, greed, and lawyers. Speaking on Rashad who I shared a tangential group relationship with post humorously in a Chicago footwork crew called teak dj's? Rashad was a community organizer. He was a movement maker. He was effortless and tireless in pushing forward a sound that would take him all around the world with the help of a movement that was rooted in the decaying paradigm of MK Ultra EDM festival culture. Something that grew like a cancer from the drug scenes of the Rainbow gathering and Grateful Dead. When he had a falling out with this, he dropped out of the music scene for a spell and created a renegade crew with Traxman which was a combination of Ghetto Technicians and Ghetto DJ's (pardon the proper spelling.) It really was just him and Traxman continuing another movement called "gutter" in which people just went in the studio in one take and made music. Just like the blues, white people came around and commodified something that was simply an individual expression. And thus like Kurt Kobain, Lil Peep, Van Gogh and many other individual tours de force they were stapled back in the ridigity of the broader movement as martyrs. Enshrined for all eternity as a voice that either rattled the chains on the walls of EDM or inside the minds of those still deconstructing what he was trying to say rhythmically personally. It's a tempting thing to want to be a part of something. To have clear rules, validation and order to what you do. But you will always ultimately feel failed by the middling out of a group and their broader agenda. Sort of like how Adam Curtis describes the failure of the occupy movements. The passion was so fierce at first but descended into nothing but an organizational chart and discourse battle of what was acceptable. Labor has this same feeling lately. A constant argument on enshrining the moment into history and burying it altogether. Accepting yourself as an artist, a writer, or even just a human being outside of the norms of society is hard enough. Especially when everything seems to adopt the army mentality of beating your individuality out of you to make you work as a cohesive unit.

Emotionally speaking, Anarchy is a haunting in and of itself. One that maybe I sought out ordering within by the ritual of psychedelics like thc. It dulled my dreams to the point where I never had any nightmares. Never any lucidity. Never had any visions other than these four walls that I banged around in. Individualism is a haunted state in and of itself. People are always trying to exorcise this spirit out of you for the greater good. Demonizing what doesn't fit in or can be easily pigeonholed into a movement. These movements are no more than folders for people on Tumblr. A way to organize the chaos of the future. To box it in instead of embracing the chaos within the self. I'm not saying it isn't torture to suffer alone. To be your own person and worship in your own way. To not have an organization to be affiliated with economically so you can incur income in a normal way. Everything is locked out to the individual in American society and demonized as selfish and narcissistic in a masked class war. I shouldn't be able to write here even though I do not get paid or tipped for any of it. While Andrew Tate is out there making twenty k from a billionaire who bought a platform to bury his affiliation with a sex trafficker. What makes me so free of sin? The ghost of Jesus Christ I guess? I'm not part of a church but I was raised Christian for what it is worth. Jesus to me was the ultimate anarchist. More so than the guy who tacked the blog post on the Catholic church's door for the record. You always have these people who ask you on the street the question whether you have accepted this guy as your personal lord and savior. And in the haunted sort of way you should be able to say yes and go about your day. But in America like every other movement, relationship and association there are things expected of you. And this is not personal freedom. It isn't respect. It's the constant confrontation of a graveyard. People want to reduce you to a monument that they can add to their collection rather than a ghost who walks free saying hi to forever. There is somehow something sinful about being free. No man is free from sin they say. And yet the paradox of Jesus as a ghost is pretty simple if you believe that sort of thing. I'm not here to lecture anybody out there about the past or even their personal beliefs on religion. I'm trying to live in the future and haunted by it consistently. The only holiday I'm celebrating is canceling my adobe subscription. I'm the same person I was with less baggage and this includes people speaking for my mind without giving me a voice. I've always said what I feel here. And I've always spoken it with love. Now you should ask the group if you are allowed to do the same. <3 Tim

[briandthemoon]

The chariot!

the chariot: thoughts on astrology?

I love it, honestly, it's good fun. I love those funky lil constellations!

Plus the power you wield when some Zodiac Elitist asks for your zodiac and you lie about it, then they're all proud of themselves "Oh I can tell! You're such a Virgo! I have a knack for these things!" while you're like, a Gemini is better than any endorphin rush.

[hwnglx]

Can you do jin fs reading plz

jin's future spouse

based on tarot, take it with a grain of salt

what kind of a person is his future spouse?

world, 10ofp, aceofc, 4ofc - aceofp, knofc, 8ofp, queofw, 3ofc

almost too "perfect" looking. very proportionate and symmetrical face. naturally beautiful. big and expressive eyes. full and plump lips. look kinda unapproachable. might wear a lot of expensive jewellery. perhaps a cancer or taurus rising.

wow, this person is incredibly charming. the type of person who is known to be liked by everyone, very popular and sociable. i get the three of cups for them in every single reading, so it's very likely to be someone out of his circle of friends. they exude and radiate a lot of confidence, probably turn heads and get attention wherever they go. someone who looks rather hard to approach but once you do, they'll surprise you with how friendly they actually are. i do believe they have a great understanding of their own charm, so they use it to their advantage sometimes. i don't think they're necessarily nice by nature lol, but more when it serves them? very cancer of them. they just know how to adjust their attitude and mood to get what they want, definitely a clever person. also extremely hardworking. surprisingly grounded and willing to humbly learn when it comes to their work. i don't think they're extremely rich but well off enough to show off whenever they get some nice clothing or accessories. they enjoy taking care of their appearance and carry themselves in a very poised manner.

what kind of a relationship will they have?

3ofw&10ofw, 6ofc, 5ofsw&5ofc&5ofp, 2ofw, queofc&just

i honestly think jin and his fs already shared a good amount of nice memories together. i'm not sure if it's necessarily romantic, but there are some warm feelings towards one another. i think they might be just very good friends right now. it seems like jin being in the military is weighing on his fs a little, they seem to miss him. they have a very sweet dynamic, i see them teasing each other a lot. i believe it will take a while for these two to really engage in anything seriously romantic. there's going to be many setbacks and a feeling of defeat and emptiness, i think especially on his fs' side. but i also can see them being very emotionally mature and capable of making balanced decisions, staying fair and rational when they need to be. you have to understand dating bangtan members comes with a whole different set of difficulties compared to other idols, since there's so many outside influences that can become obstacles, including the fame. many of them will probably take longer than average to really settle down, but jin's fs is very understanding of that.

what is their current energy like?

judg, queofsw, empr, queofp, 3ofc, death+sun+5ofw

they seem to be living a period of transformation right now. i think they're really starting to understand how to develop into their best self and are trying their best to nurture their emotional and more feminine side while also remaining careful, cautious and rational enough when circumstances require that. three of cups coming out again, so they're definitely not living through this alone and spending most their time with other people. they seem pretty extroverted so that might be their way to cope with some difficult transitions. there might've been some instances in which they got into disagreements with people, perhaps at work, which kinda opened their eyes to some things. they give me pretty competitive vibes, so they seem to be almost thriving in an environment in which they have to prove themselves and hold their ground. very strong person, for sure.

[alycosworld]

Are you still taking Constantine requests? If so, may I request Constantine trying to work out a spell but he can’t get through the words without coughing (the lung cancer) and zed, or chaz, or whoever helps him out?

The Thwarting of Constantine's Untimely Demise

John Constantine X Reader

A/N: OH WOAH YEAH yes ma’am/sir/other title of choice I am always taking requests and Constantine should be on the list - but it’s according to LoT lore? I haven’t finished LoT but as far as I know there’s no Zed or Chas there and the lung cancer thing happens in s5 of LoT so that what I’m going off.

Also, I write reader insert fanfic so I took the liberty of smacking in a (Y/N) and making it a romance because that’s what I do best. If you want some thing different, I’d be more than happy to write another version differently and I’m willing to watch all of Constantine considering it’s a short show. In any case, please enjoy and maybe send me an ask on what you think? Idk but thanks for requesting anon!

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

"What the hell is going on?" Nate asked, walking into the med bay with Ava to be met by Charlie, Ray and Gary worrying over John, blood smeared across his mouth, chin and neck from violently coughing.

"As you can see from his chest x-ray, Mr Constantine has a very aggressive form lung cancer. I'm afraid it's terminal." Gideon announced as the words came up on the screen and you and the team stared at it, shocked and worried for John's life.

A small click was heard, causing you all to turn to John who was busy trying to light the cigarette he had placed between his lips.

"Well, there's no point quitting now." He said drearily as he pulled the flame of the lighter closer to the cigarette, only stopping when you entered the room.

"John?" You asked, eyes wide with concern. He turned to look at you as you rushed to his side.

"What-- you-- I-- what happened? No, no, John come on!" You pleaded desperately, understanding the situation from the x-ray on screen and pulling the cigarette and lighter away from John, putting them aside before cradling his face in your hands.

"You're the last person I wanted to see me like this." He chuckled dryly, barely managing a smile before having another coughing fit.

"Shh, hey, hey, relax. We're gonna fix this, okay? Just, no more smoking. No bullshit while I figure this out--"

"You can't 'figure it out', love, it's--"

"John, shut up. I will figure it out, okay? Gonna make it all better just do me a favour and stay here. I love you." You said, kissing his temple quickly and blinking rapidly to stop yourself from crying.

"Don't cry, sweetheart--"

"I'm not crying. Just-- I'm gonna fix this. I'll be back with a solution, okay? Gideon, stop him from doing anything dumb!" You said, squeezing John's palm before leaving the room in a panic.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

John, now at his house living out his last moments, had apologised to Ray and Gary and had opted to dine with them, reminiscing about his odd experiences and past. He had planned to die that night - down some bizarre concoction and bargain for his life with Astra, knowing full well that the might fail drastically and be damned to hell just like that.

What he hadn't planned for was you to come busting through his front door and do it for him.

"John! Oh, good, you're not dead yet!" You said, entering the room with two test tubes in hand, a stopper in both and a brightly coloured, glittery sort of liquid in one while a grey slush rested in the other.

"(Y/N)?" He asked. Sure, we knew you would come eventually and he planned to bring you over before he potentially lost his life, but he didn't think you would come on your own with a possible solution in hand.

"Can you like, cast a spell or something, I need yo to cool both of these down to at least minus 23 degrees Celsius. Like now." You said as John looked at you curiously. You gave him a reassuring look and he nodded, beginning to say the words before having another coughing fit, blood splattering onto the floor, his hand and slightly your clothing before he turned away quickly.

"I'm sorry, love, I--" John started, seeing the mess he had made on your top before you quickly shushed him and realising that the hadn't completed the spell.

"John, no apologies. You're dying, I love you, I trust you and I don't care how much blood gets on me if you're safe and healthy. Now drink some water, try and take a deep breath, calm down and say the spell slowly. You're okay, I'm gonna fix this." You said, offering John a comforting grin.

"I think I'll take the wine instead." He said, reaching for the bottle and gulping some down before wiping his mouth and regulating his breath. He looked at you and you nodded trustingly before he finally cast the spell. The test tubes became immediately colder but the substances inside remained as liquids, expanding ever so slightly. You smiled and kissed John on the lips quickly as he smiled back, holding back a laugh to avoid coughing again.

"See, you did it! Now, I need you to trust me, okay? Drink this." You said, pulling out the stopper of the both tubes and handing John the colourful one.

"What--?"

"Just do it, hon. Look, I'll do it too." You said, intertwining arms and looking at John hopefully.

"Bottoms up." You shrugged, before you and John both downed the grey and colourful substances. John began to feel the lump in his throat and the pain in his chest slowly relieve while your body went limp, falling awkwardly with your head hitting the dining table.

"(Y/N)!"

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Gary and Ray had carried you to lay on a sofa, noticing how you were barely breathing and your pulse had weakened drastically. The observations only seemed to make John more concerned and stressed and he nervously took your limp hand in his, playing with your fingers as he occasionally glanced down at your face for any sign of improvement.

"What did she do? What was in those test tubes? What--?" Gary's stream of questions ceased when you inhaled sharply, sitting up as your eyes went wide. You sat up and watched as John's health improved quickly - all the pain stopped and the dryness, the coughing, the blood, the heaving, it all went away in a matter of seconds.

"I...you, love, you are a miracle worker!" John said, kissing you passionately as the colour returned to his previously sickly and pallid complexion.

"What did you do? Magic?" Ray asked.

"Science and magic. Other cures wouldn't work because one, there is no solely scientific cure for lung cancer and two, Astra did something that made the cancer continuously and seamlessly return so the effects of any cure would be nullified by the disease. But if you mix the two and bargain with Astra to stop bringing the cancer back, you get a cure that's at least seventy-two percent effective. Looks like it worked." You shrugged.

"You just talked to Astra? And she listened to you?" John asked incredulously.

"I'm very convincing. And I had a bargaining chip." You said.

"A bargaining chip?" John asked worriedly.

"Yes. Look, all the matters is that you're safe. You're alive. I'd do anything for that." You smiled, hugging John before kissing his cheek affectionately. Ray and Gary nodded in agreement as John gave in. The four of you returned to the Waverider to celebrate the team's mission success and the improvement of John's health.

Amongst all the joy and triumph, however, the knowledge of what you had lost to Astra remained a secret that you would soon pay for with your life.