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itsmarsss · 10 months ago

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Annual Birthday Plant [Jared Kleinman x Evan Hansen] (Dear Evan Hansen)

(from the vault)

Jared Kleinman gives Evan Hansen a plant for his birthday every year since 7th grade.

Words: 2,934

Warnings: like one brief/vague mention of sex

[. . .]

In 7th grade, Jared Kleinman gave Evan Hansen a plant for his birthday.

He was supposed to come over so the two of them could play video games and eat pizza until their stomachs hurt, their favorite thing to do together since forever.

But, for the first time ever, Jared had to pick Evan's gift himself, unlike every other birthday, when his mom would do it and he wouldn't even have to think about it.

And so for weeks Jared tried to think of something, but nothing seemed to come to mind. He tried making a list with everything he thought Evan would like, but ended up crossing out most items as they were either too expensive or just outright impossible to get, and the more he thought about the things he still had left on the list, the more he convinced himself that Evan wouldn’t actually like any of the options.

So he postponed deciding, because what else would he do? Then suddenly it was Evan's birthday and he was supposed to be at his place in an hour and he didn't have a gift. He started panicking as he got ready to leave, knowing not only it would be a big dick move if he showed up with nothing, but that his mom would probably murder him- but then it hit him, out of the blue: he knew exactly what the perfect gift would be.

His mom did indeed get mad at him for procrastinating until the last minute, but, still on time, Jared managed to show up at Evan's with the perfect gift in hand.

He never forgot the look of pure joy in Evan's face when he saw the cactus.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" Evan kept repeating, grabbing the plant and staring at it in awe. "Mom look!"

"It’s beautiful honey!"

"Thank you so much, oh my God!"

Jared was shocked by the amount of happiness the tiny little plant he picked up in a rush at the store was bringing his friend. He couldn’t help but feel extremely proud of himself for choosing the perfect thing.

"Oh that's fine. I uh. Remembered you said you wanted a plant a few months ago so. Yeah," he said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

"You remembered that?" Evan looked genuinely confused.

"Yeah. No big deal," Jared said, wanting anything but for Evan to get emotional.

Evan didn’t say anything back, and Jared has ever been able to handle silence well, so obviously he started talking. "I uh. I named it uh- shit. Nevermind."

"No, what did you name it?"

"Well I was like. You know just joking about naming it with my mom and we thought Jeff would be a funny name so. But you don't have to name it that. Obviously. Or like. At all."

Evan shrugged. "I like Jeff."

“Cool.”

"Well do you wanna go play Mario Kart?" Evan blurted out after a few seconds of a really awkward silence.

"Hell yeah dude!"

In eight grade, Jared Kleinman gave Evan Hansen another plant.

He didn't exactly mean to make it a tradition. In fact, he only got Evan another plant for his birthday the next year because, once again, he couldn't decide on a gift. And so he thought that, well, considering the way Evan seemed to absolutely love Jeff (who was still very much alive, which Jared, who had let dozens of his mom's plants die before, found impossible), he would most likely appreciate another plant.

This time he got him a succulent that came in a little white vase. The moment Evan saw the plant was when Jared did decide to make it a tradition- he had no idea what the deal was with Evan and plants, but he liked that it made him happy.

"Oh my God. Another one?" Evan sounded stupidly excited.

"Yup. Thought Jeff would like some company."

"Thank you! Holy shit!"

“Evan!” Heidi yelled from her room at his cursing.

“Sorry mom!”

"You know I don't really know anything about this stuff so I got this one. I don't know if you like succulents but-"

Evan cut him off. "I love it."

"Uh, good. That's good."

Evan made way for Jared to enter. "So. Did you name this one too?" He closed the fornt door behind them.

"Not really. But we could think of something."

"Jessica?"

"Ew dude. No."

"What's wrong with Jessica?"

"What's not wrong with a succulent named Jessica?"

"Because a cactus named Jeff is pretty normal?"

Jared rolled his eyes in response. After a couple seconds in silence, his eyes went wide. "Oh shit I got it!"

"What?"

"Are you ready?"

Evan shrugged. "Shoot."

"Hear me out: Tom."

Evan laughed. "All that build-up for "Tom"?"

"Do you have any better ideas?"

Evan seemed to try to come up with something, but quit pretty quickly. "Not really."

"Tom it is!"

On Evan’s 15th birthday, Jared Kleinman gave Evan Hansen yet another plant.

He had another list, days before the actual birthday. But this time it only consisted of different types of plants. Not that he’d ever- ever- admit to absolutely anyone that he, a totally heterosexual highschool freshman, had spent hours googling different plants to try to find the perfect one to give his (also totally heterosexual) completely platonic best friend for his birthday.

He made his decision as soon as he saw the first picture of the last option on the list, even making sure to go to the store a few days in advance to see if they had it (which they thankfully did).

He picked it up, like the previous two years, right before his mom dropped him off at Evan’s (because he knew he could not be trusted to take care of it for even a day), but made sure it was in a box this time for completely selfish purposes. He would not just waste a joke.

“Hey! Are you-” Evan’s eyes landed on the small box his friend held. “Oh. Is it not a plant?” he asked him, obviously trying his hardest not to, but sounding a little bit disappointed. Jared’s heart did… something in his chest, like fucking… cartwheels or some shit.

Jared proceeded to ignore those cartwheels.

“Of course it's a plant.”

Excitement was back on Evan’s face instantly. “Oh cool! Thank you! You know I lo- uh- I really like them.”

“I was gonna say it’s no big deal but you should be so fucking grateful for this one, dude.”

“Why?”

“You’ll… see.” Jared couldn’t contain his laugh.

Evan started laughing too, but simply because of Jared’s own laughter- he still had no idea what was going on. “Dude what is it?”

“It’s um,” he cleared his throat, trying to stop laughing. “It’s called Lithops? Ever heard of it?”

Evan shook his head no, and Jared wordlessly handed him the box, now unable again to contain some pretty embarrassing-sounding chuckles. Evan opened the box and took the plant out. Now Jared was flat out cackling.

“Get it? Cause it looks like- cause it looks like a-” He couldn’t stop laughing, not able to even talk properly. Apparently only then did Evan register what was so funny about the plant, slapping Jared’s arm.

“Oh my God! No! That’s disgusting oh my God,” Evan complained, but it was obvious he was fighting a smile.

“I’m sorry!” Jared said, still laughing and very obviously not sorry at all.

When Evan Hansen turned 16, Jared Kleinman crossed out his first plant idea.

He decided to buy Evan an incredibly specific plant instead- one so specific the flower shop where he’d bought all the plants from the previous years didn't actually have it, and he had to drive across town to get it.

“Heeyyy Ev!”

“Hey. You’re… late” Evan sounded a bit disappointed, and Jared couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about it. Still, he also couldn’t help being sarcastic about it.

“Maybe I’m not. Maybe you’re just early!”

“To… my own place?”

“I’m sorry.” There was no sarcasm in his voice anymore.

Evan seemed surprised by that. “Oh it's fine! It’s- it’s okay.”

“I’m late for a good reason though!”

“Which is?”

“Your gift dumbass! Now normally I buy your little plant friends from this shop a couple blocks from my place BUT I really wanted to give you this one and turns out they didn’t have it so I had to drive across the city to get it from this other shop, which was kinda sketchy by the way, not gonna lie, but anyway yeah here it is!” He outstretched his hands, holding the small box with the plant inside.

Evan laughed at his lienghty explanation as he grabbed it, and started opening the box before pausing. “Wait. What’s so special about this one that you did all that to get it? If it’s another-”

“Stop being so dramatic! It’s cute I promise.”

Judging by the look on his face, Evan didn’t seem so sure, but opened it anyway.

“Oh. It IS cute! It looks like that thing that nemo lives in!”

“The… anemone?”

“I guess? I don’t know dude.”

“Well you wanna know what it’s called?”

“Here we go.”

“Don’t be a perv, Hansen! It’s nothing dirty it’s just funny!”

“Okay what is it?”

“Baby toes,” Jared announced in the same tone Evan would picture someone using to pitch a brand name idea for a CEO.

“There’s no way this is called baby toes.”

“It is!”

“You are so stupid, oh my God,” Evan said, smiling.

“I mean I’m not the one who owns baby toes, so...”

“Well what are we gonna name this one?”

“I dunno. I thought about a few names but it was for another type of plant so I don’t think it fits.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh well uh. I was actually gonna give you this one called anthurium? Is it anthurium?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well it was gonna be one of those ‘cause I thought it had like cool colored leaves but apparently the colorful parts are actually just leaf-looking flowers so. Baby toes.”

“What’s wrong with flowers?”

“Oh you know. Just like… giving a dude flowers you know. Sounds kinda uh. You know what I mean.”

Evan seemed like he was gonna push him further about it, but decided not to. Jared was more than thankful for that. “Well I liked this one. It’s pretty cute. What about Joey?”

Jared was too busy tensing up and holding his breath to properly register what Evan said. “What?”

“I said what about Joey?”

“Like from Friends?”

“I thought you hated Friends.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about it! It’s pop culture!”

On Evan's 17th, Jared Kleinman chose Evan Hansen’s plant pretty early, and he was really proud of himself.

“Jared?” Evan asked when he opened the door. “You’re early,” he pointed out with a frown.

“Can’t a guy be early to his friend’s birthday celebration?”

“Is this about the plant you’re gonna give me?”

“Who said I got you a plant?” Jared asked exaggeratedly, hiding the box behind his back.

Evan laughed. “Okay whatever. I’m almost done. Just gotta put on deodorant and do something about my hair and we can go.” He ran upstairs, and Jared waited for him by the doorstep. After about five minutes he was back.

“Okay I’m done! We should probably get going so there’s no chance it’s sold out.”

“Dude we’re watching a Captain America movie at like 5pm I don’t think it’s gonna sell out.”

“Let’s just go.”

“Okay, fine. But first, your gift!”

“My ‘not a plant’ gift?”

“Your… ‘maybe a plant’ gift.”

Evan grabbed the box and opened it. Then he freaked out. “HOLY SHIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I’VE BEEN WANTING ONE OF THESE FOR FOREVER! IT’S LIKE A MINI TREE!”

Jared laughed at his excitement. “Don’t get too turned on, tree boy! we still got a movie to catch.”

Evan flipped him off before carefully placing the plant on the kitchen counter. He took one more look at it before turning back around. “Okay, let’s go.”

“Not even a thank you?”

Evan said nothing, just motioning for him to move, locking the front door before they both walked to Jared’s car. He did awkwardly thank him when they got in the car.

“It’s whatever. So what are you gonna name it?”

Evan stopped to think about it for a second. “Oh! Maybe Steve?”

“You totally just thought about it because of Captain America.”

“So what?”

“So the obvious choice should be Tony!”

“I am not naming my plant Tony, Jared.”

“You’re no fun!”

He did name the plant Tony.

On their senior year, Jared Kleinman gave Evan Hansen nothing for his 18th birthday, as he saw fit.

A year later, things were going better between the two of them. Still, Jared Kleinman gave Evan Hansen nothing for his 19th birthday.

On Jared Kleinman’s sophomore year of college, he decided they were finally fine again. He got an air plant, which he didn’t even know were a thing, and planned to keep it in his room until Evan’s 20th birthday.

Evan ended up getting his plant a couple days early though, when they were just hanging out in Jared's room.

“What’s its name?” Evan asked, pulling Jared out of his own thoughts.

Jared looked up from the videogame screen. “What?”

“What’s its name?” He asked again, pointing to the tiny glass vase with a plant in it.

“No! Shit!”

“What?” Evan asked, probably scared of having done something wrong.

“You weren’t supposed to see that!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s your gift dumbass.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Well. Now that you ruined it. You like it?”

“Yeah! Air plants are pretty cool.”

“Cool.”

“So,” Evan spoke up after a few seconds of awkward silence. “What do you think I should name it?”

“Aren’t you a little bit too old to name plants?” Jared asked, mindful to emphasise his jokeful tone.

“If not me then who?” Evan asked dramatically.

“Whatever you say Mr.-I-speak-for-the-trees.”

“Oh wait I know!”

“Okay shoot.”

“Audrey II!”

“I should not have introduced you to musicals.”

“But you did.” Evan smiled. Jared didn’t like how much he liked that.

The following year, Jared Kleinman made the decision to tell Evan Hansen about the no-so-platonic feelings he realized he felt for him.

And chickened out of it.

"Are you gonna say anything?"

Evan looked up from the daisies in his hands. "What?"

"You just gonna stand there and stare at it or what?"

"These are daisies."

"Yes they are."

"These are flowers."

"I guess."

"You just gave me flowers."

"I guess I did."

"Does it… mean anything?"

Jared seemed to be taken by surprise. He didn’t expect Evan to get it so quickly, let alone be so upfront about it. So, he chickened out.

"Except just me giving you your annual birthday plant? It's your 21st it's special!"

Evan sighed. "I don't get you."

"I mean neither of us are in the closet anymore at this point so I figured like. What's the matter, ya know? That's all."

Silence.

"Okay. Sure."

"Alright."

"Her name’s gonna be Patricia by the way."

"I cannot stress enough how much I hate this decision."

"Well the flowers are mine so..."

On Jared Kleinman’s junior year of college, he smiled as he walked to Evan Hansen's dorm room with his birthday plant in hand.

He knocked on the door and waited. Evan opened it in only a few seconds. Jared noticed his hair was wet, probably just having taken a shower, and he was wearing his favorite dress shirt.

"Oh we're fancy today huh?" He raised an eyebrow and pointed at the shirt.

"Shut up. What's that?"

"You seriously need to stop asking that as if it's not gonna be a plant."

"I'm being polite!"

"Well stop! You can't be polite to me. It makes me look like an asshole."

"Maybe you're just an asshole regardless."

"Actually go back to being polite."

"Are you gonna give it to me or what?"

He faked an indignated gasp. "What kind of guy do you take me for, Hansen?"

He handed Evan the box, and both of them entered the room. Evan set the box on his desk and sat down to open it.

"Oh It's- it's an anthurium."

"Yeah. You like it?"

"I do. But…”

“But what?” Jared pursed his eyebrows together. Shit had he done something wrong? Dis Evan not like anthurims anymore or-

“Don't you think it's a little weird giving flowers to another guy?"

Jared let out the breath he'd been holding. "I will murder you."

"I'm just saying, you know."

“I literally gave you daisies last year.”

“I didn’t wanna say anything back then but like… that was kinda... you know... it was a little gay.”

"I will break up with you."

"No you won't.”

Jared couldn’t think of a funny comeback, so they just stayed in silence for a moment.

Then Evan stood up. "Thank you. Really,” he said seriously, and leaned in to kiss him. He smiled at Jared’s lack of response to it.

Jared, in turn, could barely speak, his cheeks burning an embarrassing, obvious amount. "That- that's okay-"

Evan laughed at his flustered state, which he still got into pretty often considering they’d already been together for a few months now. He decided not to tease him about it this time, grabbing his jacket instead. “C’mon we’re gonna be late.”

“I mean. Your mom won’t mind…” Jared went on, obviously not entirely serious about it since they really were almost late, but also not entirely joking. Evan found it extremely cute.

They really had to go, though. “What kind of guy do you take me for, Kleinman?” He asked, mocking what Jared had said earlier.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Okay let’s go you ruined the sexy mood.”

They both took one last glance at the anthurium on the desk before leaving.

7th grade Jared Kleinman really had no idea what he was getting into when he gave Evan Hansen that first cactus, did he?

[. . .]

A/N: You go 16 year old mars with the dead ship from the dead fandom of a dead musical! If anyone remembers this it's cause it's been on ao3 since it was written a few years ago and it's actually been posted here when i had a different blog (i was bigbilliamdenbro/marsiguess). I'll be going back to writing and posting and old writing will be tagged as from the vault! Interact and maybe even request away! I'm really glad to be back :)

#kleinsen #evan hansen #jared kleinman #dear evan hansen #evan hansen x jared kleinman #kleinsen fic #ao3 #itsmarssss #ben platt #will roland #deh #from the vault

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goldendoodlerlockerlove · 10 months ago

Note

4 for the wip asks :)

Thank you so much!! :D

Sincerely, Me is a very rough WIP name for this WIP fic. It takes place in the universe of the musical Dear Evan Hansen, and it came about because I had the biggest desire in the world to write something Kleinsen-related (Evan Hansen x Jared Kleinman). It actually technically takes place in the movie universe, and I don't even particularly like the movie (I have thoughts). I don't hate it or anything, but it could've been done so much better. Anyway, I made it part of the movie universe so some good content could come from there. So, I guess I'd have to call it Kalsen (Evan Hansen x Jared Kalwani) because they changed his last name for the movie.

It's mainly centered around their daughter, Paige, and her best friend, Tyrone. Paige is Cis and Panromantic, and Tyrone is Trans Masc and Straight. They were definitely a fun duo to write, even though I didn't write that much for this fic. I was actually planning on it being a big, multi-chapter fic, but I might just try to make it a Oneshot so I can just finish it and post it. I'm not sure I can make it a big, multi-chapter fic with this concept, anyway.

Here's a little excerpt for you:

She didn’t answer, opting instead to glance at the trees. “I’m surprised you didn’t mention Jared being Indian first.”

She was well aware of his distaste for her calling her dads by their first names. In her opinion, it was entertaining watching his mouth become agape whenever she did this, so sometimes she’d do it on purpose. It never mattered to her--it was sometimes necessary, to distinguish them, and the two of them weren’t fretful of this habit. However, Tyrone always suggested she call Evan “Dad” and Jared “Pitā” instead, which is the Hindi word for Father.

She never listened to this advice.

Tyrone began chasing a pebble with his shoe, “Well, he mentions being Jewish a lot more than he does being Indian.”

She sighed, crossing her arms as a sudden, harsh breeze cut through them, “I guess you’re not wrong.”

He didn’t stop harassing the pebble even when they approached her house. It was pretty average, as far as regular houses in suburbia went, being all beige and harsh corners, as well as a roof sharp enough to poke Santa on his journey every Christmas (she stole that joke from Jared).

Annnnd here's another excerpt that comes a little later!

“Paige?” She heard an all-too familiar voice float from the kitchen. “Is that you?”

“Yeah, Dad.” She began striding towards the source as Tyrone shot her a look. “It’s not as if I call them by their first names all the time.”

Jared was perched over the stove, nursing a bottle of water as he continued frying something on a pan. He enjoyed nursing a bottle of alcohol instead on some late nights, but he was trying to consume less for Bri’s sake. “Sorry about your sister. I thought she was going to be napping around now, but I guess it was my mistake assuming she would do anything I expect.”

Paige let out a snicker, “It’s fine, you know Ty loves her anyway.”

She leaned closer, trying to sneak a peek at his latest concoction, “I thought you wouldn’t be home. What is that?”

“I took the day off. It’s Rosh Hashanah, remember? This is chicken breast with leeks and potatoes. Your dad should be coming home soon from the park.”

Paige felt her hand connecting hard with her face, “Oh God. Oh no. I can’t believe I forgot!”

A strength she always prided herself on was her ability to remember dates more so than everyone else in her family. The fact this one slipped by her was frustrating, to say the least--not to mention Rosh Hashanah was always her favorite Jewish holiday to celebrate. Perhaps Grace was making her more distracted than she first thought.

She turned towards Tyrone, “I’m sorry, I still can’t believe I forgot about this. I was hoping we’d be able to hang out tonight.”

“Well, I can’t see why he can’t stay for dinner.”

Her mouth agape, she turned on her heel to face Jared again, “Who are you and what have you done with my father?”

When he gave her a questioning look, she continued, “You’ve never let anyone stay over for Rosh Hashanah. It’s family time.”

Tyrone gasped, bouncing on the toes of his feet, “Does this mean… you consider me family?”

Paige grit her teeth and elbowed her friend, a fruitless attempt to calm him. One of the things that annoyed Jared the most was people who weren’t part of the family trying to insert themselves into their tight-knight dynamic. Sure, it seemed for a while Tyrone was the exception, but it was still thin ice to tread. A reason why was because someone else, someone older, tried doing the same some time back, and ended up uprooting all of their lives once it was revealed they were a no-good scam-artist. And, for irony’s sake, that person ended up being Grace’s current foster father.

Just for some context, Bri is Paige's little sister (So Evan and Jared have two daughters) and Grace is Paige and Tyrone's bully (mostly Paige's). And I was planning on having it be revealed to Paige the first time all of the events of the musical (Connor's death, The Connor Project, Evan's speech, etc.), which was never mentioned to her before because Evan and Jared were too embarrassed by it all. They kind of wanted to sweep it under the rug, which evidently wasn't the best way to handle the situation.

#ask game #dear evan hansen #this is actually so fun to do #sorry for it not being bob's burgers related but this fic still holds a bit of a place in my heart #i actually kind of miss it and do want to finish it one day. if i recall correctly there aren't any kleinsen parent fics #so i really wanted to get on that. and making grace tyrone paige and bri to flesh out the world here was fun #i think part of me headcanons that tyrone used to have a bit of a crush on paige but got over pretty quick (they're just besties)#i like to think paige and grace might have something going on later because i was planning on making grace a complicated character #and giving her a whole redemption arc

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