#klance angst fic

[autisticlancemcclain]

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing.”

Vaguely, Lance registers that he’s far too loud, that his dead-of-night shout has people peeking out their doors, rubbing groggy eyes. He knows he should tone it down and handle this gracefully and he meant to, thought about it in the hour or so he spent crouched but his door, waiting, straining his ears for the sound of Keith’s silent footsteps, convinced something would go down tonight.

Correct.

Keith jumps, duffel bag slipping off his shoulder and thumping as it hits the floor. He whirls around to meet Lance’s eyes and the shock melts quickly into stubbornness, into something defensive and irritated.

“Go back to bed, Lance,” he says evenly, and Lance envisions punching him. Lance envisions gripping the sleeve of his jacket and holding him in place. Both visions fight for standing ground in his mind, blurring into each other. His fists curl at his sides and he has to hold himself back, physically, root himself in place.

He thinks about saying, I know you’re afraid.

He thinks about saying, you will always have a place here.

He thinks about saying, please don’t leave me.

He says, “You’re running,” and it comes out sharp and accusatory, and there is a hiss from somewhere beside them, quick inhale through the teeth, but the world feels narrow, blurry around the edges, and Keith is the only one in focus, the only one Lance can see.

Keith’s face drops into something menacing, something as flat as it is furious, something familiar and almost comforting.

“Coward,” Lance spits before he can say anything. The cruelty of the words leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and he relishes in it, sucking it off his teeth.

He watches as Keith’s shoulders shift, an aborted lunge, as his chest inhales and exhales with a measured and practice breath. Watches as he calms himself, visibly, yanks himself back from the edge. Lance prepares to yank him right the hell back.

(Anything to keep him from going. To distract him, enrage him, occupy him.)

(Anything to make him stay.)

“You don’t know a goddamn thing about me,” Keith says, angry and short, less fiery than Lance expected, more controlled than he’s ever seen.

Lance panics. Keith tears his eyes away and bends down, wrapping his hand around the forgotten duffel bag strap, swinging it back over his shoulder. He turns and walks — stomps — away, heading down the hall, towards the hangars. Leaving.

Lance loses control of his mouth. A sound fights its way out of his throat, something croaking and furious and desperate, and like a cork shooting off a champagne bottle there is nothing he can do to stop what comes next.

“Your voice cracks when you lie.”

The anger has practically fled from his voice. In its place is pleading, begging, vulnerable. He chokes it back and tries to swallow and it does nothing, it bubbles out of him, spilling down his face and dripping onto the floor and soaking his bare feet, the ankles of his silk pajama pants. It comes all the way back up to his neck and chokes him, instead.

Keith freezes.

The champagne keeps bubbling.

“You — duck your head when you smile. And when you’re confident you snap your fingers on your left hand. When you read you mouth along to the words, except when you get really into a book, which is always, and then you stop. You always end up hiccuping after you eat because you fucking — hoover them back, you animal.“

Lance sniffles. The lump in his throat gets harder and harder to speak around, but the urge didn’t go away, the intense need to spill his guts, to slice himself open and spill at the ground by Keith’s feet.

Stay. Stay. Stay.

“You’re not as elusive as you think, you fucker.”

He forces himself to stop, then, bites his tongue until he tastes blood, until the words stop flowing. He inhales big and long and holds it, lets the air go stale in his lungs, lets his heart start to pound.

“I want to go,” Keith says, back still turned.

His voice cracks on ‘want’.

Lance gasps an exhale. “You’re a fucking liar.”

Keith’s turn is slow, and Lance can’t help but think it’s on purpose. To torture him, to test him. To say I don’t believe you. To say when I turn back you’re going to break character.

It’s heartbreaking, a little. And the heartbreak is written all over Lance’s face, and he watches as Keith sees it.

“You saw the problem first,” Keith argues, weakly. Lance hears what he doesn’t say: I’m leaving or else you’ll have to.

And Lance knows he was the one to go to Keith with his pinky finger extended and wide worried eyes. He knows he was the one who planted the idea of leaving in Keith’s head, never meaning for him to be the one to go but expecting him to try anyway. He knows he’s the one who’s standing here, in the middle of the hallway, arguing around the subject, half-conscious of his friends’ stares, their acknowledgment that more is being said than just their words.

And Lance shoves that all back, and says: “I told you I’d be your Red.”

Paladin. Your Red Paladin. But the words don’t come all the way out.

Keith swallows. “I know.”

“I won’t be anyone else’s.”

“…I know.”

Lance’s hands shake. “So you can’t leave me, you motherfucker.”

The duffel drops to the floor again. This time it’s intentional. This time it’s shoved off Keith’s shoulders.

He takes three great strides forward, grasping Lance’s face in his perpetually burning hands, and shoves their lips together, bruising.

“If I leave then the math checks out,” he whispers, pulling back, eyes closed, breathing heavy. His forehead is pressed to Lance’s like he can beam his thoughts into his brain.

Lance sighs. “If you leave I’ll follow.” His eyes flutter shut. “You goddamn suck at math.”

Keith snorts. “A little.”

“Stop trying to fix my problems without me.”

“It’s — I want to. Fix your problems.”

“I want you here.”

“…Okay.”

“Promise me, Keith.”

“Okay,” Keith says again, quieter. “I’ll stay, Red.” He kisses Lance again and this time it’s soft, loving instead of desperate. “I’ll stay.”

———

animatic by @jiveyuncle

[coffee-flavored-mochi]

best voltron fics i've found on ao3:

(in no particular order, just ones i like)

(also most of these are klance btw)

-"Fighting the Surface" by tommino

-(klance)hurt!lance and a little hurt!keith. tw near character death and also tw drowning. super good fic, pretty emotional, not too long of a read, less than 20k words.

-"nothing's quite as sweet" by dimple for your thoughts

-(klance) literally the cutest slow burn klance fic. it's only 50k words, but its literally just a cute barista!keith and cat shelter worker!lance fic and i love it. a little bit of hurt/comfort, but nothing too bad.

-"you never stood a chance" by kagshina

-(klance) cute little college fic where lance falls for keith. only 12k words, warning for a bit of second hand embarrassment lol.

-"The Marks We Make" by wittyy_name

-(klance) another college fic, also a soulmate au! kind of a long one (over 250k words) but such a cute slowburn. also has super cute artwork by sora linked into the fic. one of my absolute faves <3<3

-"Shut Up and Dance With Me" by wittyy_name

-(klance) another amazing fic by wittyy_name (an amazing author, pls check out all their fics) a cute little enemies-to-lovers dance!au, also around 250k words. need to give this one a re-read since it's been a while, but overall an amazing fic and i love it so much!

-"Nightmares" by Trashness

-(klance) amazing little one-chapter fic abt keith and lance sharing the same bed due to nightmares (as the title suggests). only around 15k words, so a short little read, but it's a very good read!

-"call me, beep me" by orphan_account

-(klance) cute little wrong number!au where lance accidentally texts a wrong number (keith) and then they fall in love 😈 its 85k words and a bit of a slow burn, and i'm pretty sure it's the voltron fic with the most kudos on ao3!

-"O Come Let Us Adore Him" by Bandity

-(no ships) this one isn't a klance fic, but is def a heavy hurt!lance fic. tw for manipulation, hallucinations, non-con, eating issues, and some other things. i like this one a bunch because it not only shows the bad shit lance goes through, but the aftermath as well. less than 35k words but a really great story overall.

-"Looking Death in the Eye" by IcyPanther

-(no ships) okay so this one isn't a klance fic either but it is honestly an amazing one and doesn't get the recognition it deserves. it doesn't have any ships or anything, but is about lance having to save the entire team during a sick game a random villain lures them into. i love fics about torturing my favorite characters (like lance) and this one does that so so so well. pls give it a read 🙏🙏 also its only 16k words so you can read it super fast!!

[jiangyanlissidepiece]

Where are all the Voltron fics where earth gets destroyed before they can return to it

[kukos-satellite]

I’m deprived of my middle aged Klance and Zukka so hand it over, HAND THEM OVER TO ME

[klanceficatalogue]

Hi! Do you have any post-game show recs where the team and especially Lance deal with the fallout of GWS?

oh boyy that episode. theres definitely some of those - k

Take My Name Out Of Your Mouth (You Don't Deserve To Mourn) by negativefouriq (1/1 | 1,739 | Teen and Up)

Lance’s hands shake on Red’s controls. All of him shakes, really, trembling like the last dead leaf on a barren tree. I just don’t want to be stuck here for eternity with Lance. As if he’s miles underwater, he hears the rest of the team chatter excitedly about the games they played. The drama, the excitement. He hears them talk about the test. He hears Coran say Bob is a god. Mostly, though, he hears his blood rushing through his ears, and Keith’s words repeating over and over in his head. Again and again. I just don’t want to be stuck here for eternity with Lance. --- OR: There are consequences to the playout of Bob's gameshow.

Tick tock, the time is ticking away by Naja_is_stitch (2/2 | 7,335 | Teen and Up)

Lance doesn't give the others a chance to vote. He votes on them all, practically begging Bob to get them out so they can save the universe. – "The universe needs all four of them to be save, how could I ever choose one of them" Lance said with tears going down his cheeks. "I'm the only one the universe could live without" – Langst, klance, and the feud episode, have fun!

First Choice by CorporisAuratus (1/1 | 1,672 | Teen and Up)

The paladins have to choose who gets to leave Garfle Warfle Snick. Lance has a realization about his friends. Keith deals with his feelings.

[mylifeisfruk4ever]

Klance Time Loop Au

Lance dies. Sometimes it's the Galra's fault, sometimes it's his own teammates' fault. But even if there are slight differences in how, the blue paladin always dies. And Keith is the only one who remembers. But he only remembers later, when Lance is dying. Keith vows that next time will be different, but he continues to make mistakes, some more unforgivable than others.

On the twelfth loop, on the way back to Earth, Keith accidentally accesses some videos in the Black Lion. Videos made by him, in the previous loops, and a warning: if this time he doesn't save Lance, the paladin's death will be definitive.

@astralscrivener what do you think of it?

[klance-brainrot]

klancing all things end by hozier

tw: angst, mcd, klance on-off relationship

They know they will break up again and then get back together and then break up again because they just don't work together but they can't live without one another.

Their personalities clash too severely for it to work permanently.

"The last time I felt your weight on my chest, you said: we didn't get it right, but love, we did our best"

this is them knowing they are going to break up again soon because they can't be together for more than a month and they both feel the end nearing. This is the calm before the storm, this is the night before another big fight, this is the cuddle before the argument.

"Just knowing that everything will end and we should not change our plan when we begin again"

this is them talking about their next try at a relationship and how, even though it never works, they would never change anything about their fucked up relationship attempts because at least they can be together that way.

"All that we intend is built on sand"

when starting new they both already know it's going to fail again. it's a fragile peace, it's all built on sand, it can be swept away by a single wave.

"If there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact, they didn't to it right"

this is Lance standing over Keith's grave and thinking about all they could've been and all they could've done together if it had worked. But it didn't work out. They tried so often but it never worked out, but Lance knows he doesn't regret a thing, he would've tried over and over and over again for those moments where it does work.

Until it doesn't.

Since he knows Keith, he knows, he didn't regret a thing either. Keith too would've tried over and over and over again just for those few moments of peace in between.

Their friends and family had tried countless times to tell them that it wouldn't work - it wouldn't work this time and it wouldn't work the next time they tried, but they never listened. For a while they tried to keep their distance from each other, but both of them were doing so bad during it. Lance was barely eating and ended up in the ER. Keith thought he was the only one suffering that badly but once Shiro let it slip that Lance was in the hospital he couldn't do it anymore and he came back. They always came back to each other. They cant live without each other.

"I have never known a silence like the one fallen here, never watched my future darken in a single tear"

this is the first time they broke up. They really thought it would work but their personalities and traumas and behavioral tendencies just work against each other unfortunately. Keith thought it was fixable, he would try everything, but one fight had gone too far and Lance breaks up with him. He sheds one single tear while doing it but remains otherwise neutral and says that it's probably better form him to take some time for himself. Keith is numb from shock and can't really say anthing, nothing that'd help Lance stay. So he watches the single tear fall and he watches him leave. For the first time. He will watch him leave over and over and over again.

"I know we want this to go easy by being someone's fault, but we've come long enough to know this isn't what we want"

this is their 5th breakup. They've done this before. They know how this goes. They get back together, they are good together for a few weeks until everything goes down the drain again. Most of the time there isn't even a trigger really. It's just a few fights too many and a few unfortunate things said that hurt bad. Too bad.

Lance says this when he's about to leave again - they both know it's both of their fault and at the same time it's noones fault.

Because that's who they are.

Keith with his parental trauma and need to distance himself from the ones he loves, and Lance with his fear of abandonment and being the second choice. He grew up in a happy family and can't deal with Keith's traumas forever. He needs to put himself first and he can't do that while being with Keith. But he can't live without him either.

They can't live without each other.

thank you @justdissimp for the beta and @numerous-bees-in-a-skin-suit for the encouragement <3

[corruptedplaylist]

Lance looks through the binoculars again and finds Keith at the same time Adam calls Keith’s name and points at where Lance is standing. The other boy glances up, caught between a laugh from watching Pidge and Hunk write a lewd message in the sand. He flips him off and Lance’s hand-painted skull grins back at him. Keith’s cheeks are pink from the chill, his eyes bright and mischievous as the wind catches on the edges of his hair.

Lance mechanically waves back as he pulls away from the binoculars, Keith becoming a tiny figure against the sand as a blush begins to stain Lance’s cheeks. He hikes the collar of his jacket up, glancing furtively back at Shiro and then down at the shore below. 

Oh.

Fuck.

——————————————————————————————

this was an excerpt from chapter 10 of my fic! here's some more info if ur interested:

title: looking out for you

platform: ao3 only

rating: t

genre(s): slice of life college au

ships: Keith Kogane/Lance McClain, Adam/Shiro

words/chapters: 187k/18 chapters

status: completed

summary/elevator pitch: wholesome queer vibes and healthy communication a la voltron. found family shenanigans include: paintball, halloween parties, laundromat trips, beach episode, family dinners, video game tournaments, awkward confessions, grocery shopping, and some good old angst and character development. also, lance may or may not get possessed by a ghost but it's not pidge's fault.

i was reminiscing on this fic and decided to just promo it bc why not? drop me a comment/kudos if u check it out and like it!

for anyone who has already read it or is planning on reading it, i've done faqs between the three acts. i recently updated my faq here for act iii if anyone is interested (i finally got around to putting in some more details!)

[tortured-demigods-department]

Chapters: 8/? Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Rating: Mature Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Lance & Voltron Paladins Characters: Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron), Original Characters, Original Alien Character(s) Additional Tags: here's some langst i've been putting off forEVER, Angst, Langst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance (Voltron) Whump, Lance (Voltron) Is Not Okay, Keith (Voltron) Is Not Okay, No One Is Okay, Whats the tag for team NOT as family, Team as shitty coworkers, It's basically how lance was treated in canon, Keith is pissed, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Sexual Assault, let me disclose that the keith/lance is NOT the primary goal of this fic, it's there but there are many issues that are NOT solved with some ooey gooey romance, just putting that out there in case thats what people are here for, Unhealthy Team Dynamics, Unhealthy Relationships, (meaning lance and the team), Self-Hatred, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Doubt, honestly probably some gaslighting, Gaslighting, Rape/Non-con Elements, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Crying, Trauma Summary:

Lance is a Paladin of Voltron, and he doesn’t take orders from anyone but his leader. He maintains that appearance, anyway, as he tilts his own head back, as if he has to consider it. The truth is, every molecule in his being is zinging to be across the room, lost in conversation with an attractive, friendly stranger. To be anywhere but here, alone and miserable and with nothing to do but stew in his isolation until he can finally go back to the Castle.

 The stranger’s smile turns into an outright, teeth-showing grin. And that, Lance will later reflect—that’s what seals the deal. That’s the point of no return.

-

Or,

When Lance falls victim to a stranger at a party, it brings up more issues than the fresh trauma alone.

-

YES IK I’M A TERRIBLE PERSON BECAUSE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO WRITE 2600 WORDS BUT IF ANYONE’S STILL ON MY TUMBLR FOR VOLTRON I FINALLY UPDATED!! CHAPTER 8 OF DEAD IN THE WATER IS UP NOW <333

[awhoreintheory]

Done with no redemption

Lance heard him before he saw Keith, not because he was loud or anything, but because Lance was expecting him. His footsteps have always been annoyingly light like a ninja. Lance tensed, a sour frown taking over his previously good mood. 

“Lance, I—” Lance rolled his eyes, turning around with the fakest smile in his arsenal. 

“You what, Keith?” Lance asked pleasantly, cocking his head to the side. Keith paused for another moment, his eyes awkwardly averted to the ground as he fidgeted. 

“I ran away from you.” Keith sighed, hands dropping and finally looking Lance in the eyes. Lance felt it wasn’t adequately remorseful enough. 

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and, yeah. You were right.” 

“You were right.” That single sentence seemed to just echo in Lance’s brain. Because— because his Keith didn’t just come out and admit something like that. Ever. You had to fight him tooth and nail for a half confession. (And Lance had evidence. He had to throw down with Keith just to get an answer to Lance’s real life, actual, love confession. Stubborn prick.) To say Lance was too shocked to speak would be an understatement. The shock gave way to an odd mix of amusement and seething hot anger.

“I was just running because I was afraid to face my feelings— actually, no. I was afraid of you.” Keith gnawed on his lip, thinking his words through. (Good, he’s learned his damn lesson about that.) “Because I tell you things I can’t even tell myself. Around you? My… walls are about as effective as paper is to fire.”

“Is that so?” Lance hummed, turning around and going back to folding his laundry. “Glad you’ve had some time for self discovery in the past 11 months that you’ve ghosted the team.” —and me, went unsaid, but the message was just as clear as though he had. 

“I’m proud— really! Congratulations, dude!” Lance's grin only got bigger, throwing one of Keith’s t-shirts at him. He caught it and unfolded it with a hurt expression. 

“Lance, please—” Keith’s eyebrows creased, like they always do when he’s hurt or confused. 

“Don’t “Lance, please” me, Kogane. It’s not like you ever listened to a single please from me. In fact, I don’t even think it ever even made you pause.” Lance calmly stated, wrapping up doing his laundry and storing it in Red. On the trip back to Earth with minimal supplies, Lance barely had any supplies— no moisturizer or anything! But he was making do in these trifling times.  

Keith was silent for a long moment as Lance continued cleaning up his Lion, throwing trash away and clearing out things he didn’t need as though Keith weren’t there in the first place. 

“...Is this not fixable?” It was a quiet, feeble question. 

“It was.” Was Lance’s simple response. It ignited a hope in Keith, but left him feeling uneasy. 

“..Was?” 

Lance straightened up, standing chest to chest with Keith, leaning in as though he were whispering a secret. “”I just don’t want to be stuck here for eternity with Lance.”” 

“From— from the game show? Seriously?” Keith asked incredulously, eyebrows now furrowing in anger and confusion. 

“Hmmm…” Lance tapped his finger to his chin contemplating. “Yep! From the game show. You and the team made it quite clear how you felt about me, ya’know?” 

Lance spun on his heel, plopping down and grabbing his armor to polish. “So, on that note; I need you to be civil until I leave the team.” 

“Leave the team?” 

“Yes, that’s what I just said.” 

“You can’t just— you can’t just leave, Lance! What about Voltron? What about us?” Keith’s temper was steadily rising, stomping towards Lance before he stopped and recollected himself. 

“One, yes, I can. Why would I stay somewhere I’m clearly not welcomed or appreciated? I’m going home after this shit-show. Two, there's six paladins, Keith. Simple math, even I can do it. Since, ya’know, I’m too stupid and should just leave something that complex to Pidge. Shiro can take Black back, you never wanted the position anyway, right?” Lance’s sugary sweet words were practically dripping in anger, Lance’s grin starting to annoy Keith. He knew just how hard he was hitting, and if he was honest? Lance was amused. 

“Of course we want you here! And— and, um…” Keith’s shoulders slumped, he was too flustered! He couldn’t think of an argument, yeah. He just didn’t see this coming— Lance was just confused! Keith reached for Lance’s wrist, brows furrowed and eyes oddly wet. 

“You can’t leave us, please. We need you.” 

“Well I don’t.” Lance yanked his wrist back with a disgusted turn of the lips. 

“Now get out of my lion.”

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 61

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

Autistic Lance (Voltron) [series] by dontthinkiwont

"Look, okay, I get it, I like peanut butter, you like sharks. It's a thing, whatever. But seriously, dude - what the fuck?" - Or, Lance has Autism Spectrum Disorder and this can cause him to fixate on some things. Like, maybe, for instance, great white sharks. For example.

yes i like this series for projection reasons. whatever. it was also one of the first autistic lance fics out there!! and its v heavy in platonic relationships yall are gonna love it

2. Revelations and Reactions by @azapofinspiration

Keith couldn't believe it. He was part Galra. That was hard enough to deal with... But then he realized that he would have to tell the rest of the team. He couldn't help but fear how they would react. In which Keith reveals that he's part Galra after facing the Blade of Marmora's trials.

azap truly never misses. they KNOWWWW how to do found family like a CHAMP and i will never get tired of reading canon corrections where keith is like. loved and accepted lol

3. A Memory Like a Snapshot by MemeKonVLD

Pidge is still close —closer than is entirely comfortable if he has to be honest— giving him an evaluating glance. Lance doesn’t really know where to look, other than up her nose— but that grows old pretty fast. So he looks at himself in the reflection of her glasses. And squints. He touches his own face for the first time since waking up— and feels the roughness of his chin. “I have stubble,” he says, and the words are as alarmed as they can be even though they still sound slightly slurred, slightly off. Pidge blinks a couple of times at him, and finally retracts into a more comfortable distance. “Well, yeah,” she says. “You are like, what? 22? 23 in a couple of months?” “I’m feeling— I’m feeling a little queasy,” he says then, with bright spots of color dancing in front of his eyes as he thinks 22. Suddenly, a bucket gets shoved against his face. He takes hold of it with clammy fingers and he leans on his side so he can... use it. Thoroughly. “I’m having Garrison flashbacks,” he hears Pidge say.   (Or: Lance is stung by an alien bug, loses his memories temporarily and makes assumptions about his and Keith's relationship. Also, Pidge cheats at Uno.)

losing your memories. and waking up. and someone treats you so kindly and lovingly that you know, immediately, in the bones of you, that they love you. and the feeling in your chest even if your brain doesnt remember of love for them tells you clearly that this person is your soulmate. i am going to LOSE IT

4. Love in the Times of (Intergalactic) War by MemeKonVLD

Lance: Oh, man. [I see him grow visibly excited here, leaning forward and putting his hands up— he’s big on gesticulating, as anyone who’s watched the pilots of Voltron host SNL a couple of months ago knows.] Space is vast. I know that’s not groundbreaking knowledge there, and everyone’s somewhat aware of it, but— being up there? traveling around space for years, and knowing we never even— we never even came near to touching upon a tenth of what’s out there? That’s cool, weird and scary all in one.

WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT 2016 FICS. HUH. ICONIQUE?? AMAZING??? SHOWSTOPPING?? INCREDIBLE??? bc pov outsider is the BEST and watching how much lance SHINES to anyone who looks at him...yeah

5. Skin by MemeKonVLD

He’s aware of Lance talking to him, but he’s still too asleep to try to decipher whatever it is he’s blabbering about. He only starts paying attention when one of Lance’s hands goes to the drawstring of his pajama pants. “Whoa, what are you doing?” He asks, slapping Lance’s hand away, cheeks warm. “You,” Lance starts, pointing at him (and Keith notices that for all he’s made fun of him for the last forever for them, he’s wearing his fingerless gloves), “are not screwing up my skin care routine, man.” (AKA: the one where Keith and Lance switch bodies.)

suave keith and flustered lance my BELOVED. swapped bodies truly has to be one of the top ten tropes of all time. love watching them be in love and also stupid

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[haryuusart]

Chapters: 14/17

NEW CHAPTER POSTED !!

BOIIII writing gay smut is so hard when you have no idea how it works, but I've tried my best I SWEAR!!! 😭  

Please consider checking out my fanfiction!! Pinky promise you won't regret it 💘

Here's the summary if you're interested:

At this point, Keith can’t take it anymore and starts cackling like crazy, his voice slightly raspy. Lance declares it the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. He’s never seen Keith laugh so hard, and it always feels so good knowing he’s the cause, in a good or bad way.

“Can you ever shut up?” Keith manages to utter between snickers.

“I can, I just don’t want to! What are you going to-”

Keith huffs and grabs his face, squeezing his cheeks to stop him from talking.

“Lance, close your fucking mouth and kiss me!”

 Keith is a pianist haunted by dark thoughts and an even darker past. He attends Altea's Music Academy, but has never performed in public before; that is until his brother Shiro, who's a piano teacher, decides to promote the school with concerts at the Paladin's, the trendiest pub in town. His colleagues and friends, Pidge and Hunk, are excited: he can finally meet their best friend, Lance!

Their first encounter is... not good.

No one expects Keith and Lance to fall in love at first sight. Not even them.

(They also dance Single Ladies together. You're welcome!)

[rorimoon9597]

Being on the back of that creature was weird. They'd only been there for about a week, yet Keith had seen his mother's memories. He'd seen the moment his parents had named him, and both of them fawning over him as a baby. It was... oddly sweet to see it, how his mother loved him.

In turn, Krolia saw his memories. Both of the times he'd lost Shiro, how he meet Shiro (Krolia was laughing for a good few minutes at how Keith had stolen Shiro's car) and some of the memories he had of Adam and, perhaps most embarrassingly, Keith ranting about Lance to Adam and Shiro.

So it was fair to say that they were on even footing, really.

And the more time they spent there, the more they saw each other's memories and the more they learnt about each other.

And then there was his wolf. He was stuck on a name for his wolf, so he just called it Wolf for ease.

"What do you think is on the other side?" Keith asked. Krolia hummed in thought.

"I'm not sure, but I hope that we can figure out what the source of the energy is," she replied. Keith sighed.

"What about the source? Any ideas as to what it is?"

"No," came the reply. He groaned and laid back on the ground. Wolf came up and sniffed his face.

Keith was thrown into the future, if the appearance of a hospital room in the Garrison of all places was any indication. Looking to his side, he saw Krolia there, too.

"The girl's cutting off the supply," a voice said. Keith looked behind him and gasped.

There was an incubator of sorts in the room, made of black, white and blue Altean technology. Standing to the side, was him and Lance. Lance, who he knew he liked. Lance who, in this vision of the future, was tucked into future Keith's side, a golden ring standing out against his skin.

"She'll be okay," future him said.

"What is she's not though? Allura said that the incubator won't prevent any illnesses or anything like that from forming in them. They could be born with a heart condition!"

"It's not likely, love." Lance huffed, watching as Colleen Holt and a few other scientists worked together to reach in and pull something out of the incubator.

A baby, covered in slime. A baby girl. As soon as she was able to breathe, she started to wail. Colleen took her and cleaned her off, weighing her and then wrapped her up.

Colleen walked over to them, the child that Keith guessed was his and Lance's daughter, cradled in her arms.

It was Lance who reached out for their daughter. He started to coo to her, calming her down enough. Her cries turned to whimpers in his arms.

"What's her name?" Colleen asked. Future Keith said something, but current him couldn't hear it. Colleen smiled.

"That's a beautiful name for her. Powerful, too."

Keith didn't know how long he stood there for, watching his future self and Lance hold their baby. Then-

"The boy's cutting his supply off now," a doctor said. The same process, then a baby boy was lifted from the incubator. He cried too, but not like his sister, his twin, did. Colleen did the same thing, and it was future Keith who took the boy into his arms.

Current Keith watched as the doctors did tests on the babies, then laid them side by side in a crib.

Krolia's future self chose that moment to enter the room. The doctors and Colleen smiled at her, then left. Krolia just nodded at them before going up and hugging Keith's own future self, as well as Lance. The three of them, as one, turned around to look at the babies.

"They're beautiful," Krolia's future self said.

"They are," Lance agreed.

"What are their names?" Future Keith told her, but the names weren't heard. Krolia smiled.

"Those are wonderful names for them. I have no doubt that they will be strong in the future."

The vision faded, leaving Keith standing there, in shock.

"Keith?" Krolia asked. He looked at her.

"I'm going to be a father," he said. "I'm going to have twins in the future."

"Is that a bad thing?" Krolia asked. Keith shook his head.

"No, it's not. It's... it's wonderful. It's amazing. I- I can't wait to meet them," he said. He could feel the disbelieving smile on his face. Krolia pulled him into a hug. He returned it, laughing. "I'm going to have children with Lance!"

"I'm happy for you, Keith," Krolia told him. Keith buried his face in her shoulder.

"Thank you, Mom," he whispered. It felt natural, and so right. Krolia tensed up, but ended up hugging him tighter.

________

He had more visions of the future on that whale. He saw a glimpse of a boy standing in Black Paladin armor, a girl in Red Paladin armor. Then there was an image of him holding out two knives, identical except for the black wrapping on the grip on one and the red wrapping on the grip of the other.

Mostly it was memories coming to him, though. One of them was of when he was younger, and had asked Shiro and Adam if they ever wanted kids.

"I'd like to adopt," Shiro confessed.

"I don't mind what we do. I think that I just want to be a parent to a child before I die," Adam replied. Keith was curled up into Adam's side, sketchbook open and the beginnings of a drawing of his family on the page.

"Besides, we have you right now, and that's all that we really need," Shiro said.

That particular memory ended with Keith crying as Shiro and Adam held him.

"I need to thank them for all they've done for you when I meet them," Krolia said.

"You don't have to," Keith said.

"No, I do. They took care of you for some time. They gave you a family. I must thank them for helping you, for caring for you when I was unable to," Krolia insisted. Keith nodded, a lump in his throat making it impossible for him to say anything else.

The next time they saw a vision of the future, they were eating some meat that they had hunted with the help of Wolf.

Keith found himself in a market place filled with people who came in all sorts of colours, but dark, and wearing pale robes in comparison. They all wore jewellery made of crystals. Keith noticed that the most simple crystals the older people wore were glowing faintly.

They were following a girl, who had black hair that was tied up in a ponytail. It fell down in gentle curls. Her skin was only slightly lighter than what Lance's skin was, and Keith realised that she was wearing his red jacket. A belt around her waist revealed a knife with a red grip.

She carried a bag on her back, and she walked with a purpose. She was looking for something, but Keith didn't know what it was. She seemed interested in the people around her, listening to people shouting about food and clothes and other merchandise, trying to sell their goods.

"Come and get Soul Crystals here! Perfect gift for married couples and parents!" One of the vendors shouted. The girl stopped, seemed to think of something, then walked to the vendor selling the 'Soul Crystals'.

The booth was covered in those simple crystal necklaces that Keith had seen. None of these ones glowed, though they came in all different kinds of colours. Pink, purple, blue, green, red and many others. The vendor grinned when they saw the girl.

"Well, hello there, traveler! May I interest you in a Soul Crystal for your significant other? Or perhaps as a gift for your parents?"

"What do they do?" The girl asked.

"Well, these are an ancient tradition among our people. They are linked to two people's Quintessence. It allows for couples to feel each other's emotions, as well as acts as a compass of sorts for them, so that they always know where each other are, and how they are feeling."

"Is that why they glow?" The girl asked. The vendor nodded.

"Precisely," they said.

"How much would it be to get a couple for my parents?"

"Fifty VIC," the vendor replied.

"Here," the girl said. She pulled out a wallet and pulled out a note, which Keith noticed upon further inspection was a 100 VIC note. He wondered what VIC stood for.

The vendor took the money.

"Now, just close your eyes, and search for the crystals that match your parents. It's easier for those who have Quintessence sensitivity." The girl closed her eyes. She opened them again.

"Those two, that blue one with white swirls and that red one that has gold in it, those match perfectly," the girl said, pointing at the crystals on basic black strings. Keith's breath hitched.

The blue one she mentioned looked like the ocean, and the red one looked faintly like fire. He turned to get a better look at her, and saw that her eyes were purple, like his own. There were flecks of brown in them.

The vendor packaged the crystals and tied the boxes closed with ribbons.

"I wish your parents a wonderful and fulfilling life, Young One."

The vision ended there. He turned to face Krolia.

"That girl," he said. He couldn't continue the sentence.

That girl was his daughter, the one he saw being born in another vision.

"She's beautiful," Krolia said, apparently either having read his mind, or having come to the same conclusion as Keith.

"She is," he said, a smile on his face.

He knew that his future would be wonderful. He decided, then and there, that he would win this war and survive, so that he could see these visions come to fruition.

[shsy7573]

Something

A Voltron Fanfiction by shsy7573 a langst addict

Description: As torturous as a war with the Galra is, it’s nothing compared to the constant mockery from inside Lance’s mind. When the team partakes in a training exercise designed to help them confront their insecurities, and grow closer as a team, Lance knows he’s screwed. No way they’ll want him around once they see how pathetic he really is. Will our favourite Blue Paladin be able to hide his misery, from the team, or will he break, and reveal to the team just how much he hates himself?

Info: Langst. Hurt/comfort. Original Paladins. Tbh this is probably one of my weaker fics. It’s not really descriptive. Mainly just focused on the feelings. Nonetheless, I’ve always enjoyed rereading it because of the concept.

Relationships: Klance, but it’s mild. Barely there.

Note: Tumblr kinda jacked up the formatting. I seriously need to get myself an AO3 account, but writing for that site intimidates me for whatever reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance scanned the battlefield, his heart pumping rapidly as the supposedly easygoing mission went off the rails. They had planned to take over a small, low activity Galra base to try and find more information on what Zarkon and his people were planning. Unfortunately, this “low activity” base ended up being extremely more well defended than they’d thought.

There were Galra ships everywhere, spread out across the sky like a giant beehive. The Paladins were swamped, and the Castle of Lions had been forced to draw back for risk of colossal damage. With all the chaos, there was no opportunity to converge and form Voltron. Each Paladin was, for the most part, on their own.

And Lance was drowning.

He veered swiftly to the left as a Galra ship charged him from behind. Kieth flew by at the exact same time, and if it had been anyone other than The Red Paladin, there would have been a collision. Kieth banked up, and Lance just had time to shoot a laser at the ship tailing him before he and his lion ran face first into the debris.

“Watch it, Lance!” Kieth spat, and Lance cringed.

“Sorry!” He yelled.

There wasn’t enough time to dwell on it though, because the ship that had been on Lance had recovered from the Blue Paladin’s change in course, and was shooting at him again.

Lance groaned, trying to dodge around the lasers, taking one or two hits to the back. He yelled, his heart jumping as another squadron of battleships came at him from the front. Reacting fast, he sent Blue into a barrel roll, hoping the Galra ships would collide.

Fortunately, they did. Unfortunately, so did he and Pidge. The Green Lion, who apparently had been chasing the Galra ships, met the Blue Lion head on, both going at full speed and sending the Paladins into a tailspin.

“Lance, what the hell?!” Pidge yelled as they both regained control.

Lance chastised himself inwardly.

“Sorry Pidge!”

His mind was screaming at him. Way to go, fuck up!

“Lance! Look out!”

He looked up to see a Galra ship as it powered up a blaster. With how close it was, he should have already seen it.

Shiro flew by in the Black Lion, slicing through the ship with his jaw blade and putting it out of commission.

“Lance! You need to pay attention!”

“Sorry!” He said for probably the 10th time since the start of the battle.

What is wrong with you? Get your head in the game! You can’t even-

His thoughts were interrupted as he was once again forced to bank out of the way of a Galra ship. Sadly, he was too slow to react, and as he swerved upwards a beam of purple light collided with Blue’s underbelly. Lance screamed as he was jostled around in his seat, trying to regain control as another beam hit him on his left.

So now you can’t even fly? What are you doing?! I thought Paladins were supposed to be expert pilots!

“Lance!” Someone yelled as he tried and failed to gain control of Blue. More and more Galra ships getting hits in on his Lion.

Useless piece of shit! They all know it!

“Lance, control yourself!”

“Someone needs to help him!”

“There’s too many of them!”

“Fall back!”

Before he knew it, Hunk and his lion had grabbed hold of Blue and were pulling Lance out of the battlefield. The others joined up with them, and Lance felt tears welling up in his eyes.

As the Galra fleet fell away from view, Lance was able to retake control of his lion. Hunk let go, and they made their way back to the castle. Mission failed.

“Lance, what was going on out there?” Kieth asked, ever the hothead. Lance didn’t reply, only lifting his gloved hand to whisk away his tears. His mind was screaming at him.

You can’t fly for shit, that’s what! You think they’re gonna want you around after that debacle? I’m surprised it took you this long royally fuck. They’re gonna see it now! You’re not fit to be a Paladin!

—

They arrived back at the Castle of Lions, and for a couple minutes all Lance could do was pull off his helmet and just… sit there. Unable to bear the looks of utter disappointment on his teammates' faces. Unable to face the resentment.

Then he heard Shiro’s voice over the coms.

“Post-mission briefing on the bridge.”

Lance sighed, and finally forced himself out of Blue’s seat. He dragged himself to the control room, trying to stay as far back and out of sight as possible.

Shiro began speaking, but Lance could hardly hear him over the scrutiny going on in his own brain.

You don’t belong here! You know it. They know it. They’d be better off without you.

“Guys, this can’t happen again. We cannot lose our heads in a time of crisis. If we’re going to win against the Galra, we need to work harder. Not just individually, but as a team. We were completely divided out there, and we kept getting in each other’s way.”

Lance looked down, mainly me. He was certain that’s what everyone was thinking. He bit his lip, trying his damndest not to cry.

“We’ve been focusing on training our bodies, but I think we’ve been neglecting to focus on the most important part of Voltron: our minds. Our connection to ourselves, our lions and to each other is what powers Voltron, farther than any of our individual skills.”

Like anyone would want to connect with you. You’re the problem, you always have been. They’ll turn on you one day, and you’ll deserve it. Maybe you should just speed up the process. Get out of their lives before they come to hate you on their own. But you won’t, you’re too weak. Too cowardly to face the reality of that decision. Too selfish to give up your friendships for the universe.

“Lance!” A voice cut through the noise. Lance looked up to see Shiro staring at him.

“Are you even listening?”

They hate you.

“I, uh- yeah.” He could feel his skin crawling at all the eyes on him.

“Then what did I say?”

“Voltron is powered by our minds, or something.” It was the last thing he remembered.

The irritated muttering around the room caused him to assume he’d guessed wrong.

“Lance, I need you to be paying attention when I’m talking.”

Lance sighed, looking back down at his feet, “sorry.”

Had he been looking up, he’d have seen the slight edge of concern in The Black Paladin’s gaze before he continued. “Anyways… what I was saying is that tomorrow afternoon we’ll meet on the training deck to go through some mental team building exercises. I’m sure Coran has a few ideas.”

Lance nodded, but kept his gaze trained on the ground.

You’ll probably fuck it up, like you do everything.

“That I do. Don’t you worry Shiro, I’ll get it sorted.”

Lance looked up just enough to see Shiro nod. “In that case, you’re all dismissed.”

Lance turned, and headed out of the control room. His mind swimming with self ridicule. He could feel the tears threatening to fill his eyes. The days’ failures replaying over and over again in his mind.

Idiot. Useless. Screw up everything.

Suddenly, he felt a hand grab him by the arm, pulling him back slightly and forcing him to stop.

“Lance, wait.”

The Blue Paladin looked up to see Shiro gazing at him curiously.

“Is… everything alright?”

No. Lance forced a grin, “of course! Why wouldn't it be?”

“I just… you seem… distracted.”

Lance shook his head, forcing his smile to become even brighter. “I’m fine. I promise. See you in training tomorrow!”

He pulled his arm free, and began to walk (a little too quickly) to his room.

As soon as the door closed, he collapsed on the ground. Tears spilled out of his eyes. What was he doing here? He was no Paladin? He had no place here. Nobody here wanted him around, he was just their only option. If they had anyone else to fly Blue, they’d take them in an instant. Anyone would be better than you!

“Fucking useless,” he whimpered to himself, burying his head in his knees.

“All I do is mess things up.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“No one wants me around.”

“I’m…”

He trailed off, his throat closing up as he voiced his darkest thoughts to the empty room. Sobs racked his body. He sat there, back pressed against the door, letting tears spill down his face. Crying at the truth of it all. That he was the problem, he was the weak link. All he brought to the team was bad jokes and annoyance.

He had no special skills.

No special purpose.

He was nothing special.

He was just nothing.

—

The next day, Lance woke up as he usually did. Early. With a skip in his step, a smile on his face, and a silent prayer that today wouldn’t be the day that the mask slipped. That today wouldn’t be the day they saw how useless he really was.

He went to breakfast with the team. Pidge was still a little irritated at him for running into her. Kieth was broody, as usual. Hunk and Coran were happy. Shiro and Allura were focused.

Lance, as usual, was cracking jokes to try and lighten the mood. To try and drown out the voice in his head. To try and fein cheerfulness.

And the others, as usual, we’re not having any of it.

“Lance, can you shut up for five minutes so that we can eat in peace?!” Pidge snapped. “I swear it’s like you’re trying to piss me off.”

Lance smiled brighter on the outside, but on the inside, his mind screamed.

“Aw, did the Pigeon wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” He teased, and she grumbled, turning away.

He saw Keith roll his eyes, and heard him muttering under his breath.

You can’t let up can you? If you’re not royally screwing up a mission, you’re annoying the shit out of everyone.

But he would rather annoy them into not paying attention than allow them to see how worthless he was.

Selfish? Probably. But, he couldn’t help it.

Besides, if Pidge was angry he’d rather she take it out on him than the rest of the team. Unlike the rest of them, he deserved it.

—

And then the afternoon rolled around. Lance headed for the training deck, something akin to apprehension churning in his gut.

Come on Lance, afraid of a training session? A Paladin should be better than that.

He steeled himself, and entered the training deck.

Everyone else was already there. Lance couldn’t help chastising himself for that. Even though he wasn’t late, he was last. He’d kept them waiting.

“Has Coran said what we’re doing yet?” He asked, banishing the thoughts aside. If today was meant to train his mind, to connect them, he had to keep his negativity as far away as possible.

They all shook their heads as he reached the group.

“No, I haven’t even seen him since this morning,” Pidge said. Lance was glad to see that she seemed less aggressive now. Maybe a bit of time to wake up had calmed her temper at his previous fuck-upery.

Not that she’d be wrong to still be pissed.

Lance smiled wider.

Just then, Coran entered the room, holding a mass of technology in his arms.

“I’m here! I’m here! Sorry, I’d hoped to have this all set up before you arrived but—“

“It’s okay, Coran. We’re not in a rush.” Shiro assured.

Hunk smiled and walked over, “need some help?”

Pidge joined her friend as Coran nodded and they began setting up, the Altean telling Pidge and Hunk how to hook everything up.

Why didn’t you offer to help? Useless.

But then his own mind fired back.

You’re too stupid to help with something like this. It’s too complicated.

Lance resisted the urge to wince, refusing to let his expressions betray his inner rebuke. So far he wasn’t doing a very great job at keeping negativity out of training.

Then again, you never could do anything right.

He was grateful as Hunk, Pidge and Coran finished setting up. It meant he’d have something else to focus on.

His dreams of distraction were crushed as Coran began to explain the exercise.

“Today's exercise will be all about overcoming your mental barriers. In combat, you need to be completely open with each other, and having blockades and hidden insecurities can distract you from working as a cohesive whole. Today, the team will be given the chance to travel into each Paladin’s mindscape. Not actually, of course, mind travel is very dangerous and can more often than not lead to disastrous consequences. That’s where all this technology comes in. This will simulate a sort of virtual landscape for you all to traverse through. It should still be accurate, but it will prevent any serious harm coming to any of you.”

Lance’s stomach somersaulted. Travelling… into his mind… to face his insecurities?!

No way they’ll want you around after this.

Lance took a deep breath. Maybe he could worm his way out of it. Maybe he could delay, and they would run out of time and not get to him. Maybe he could fake illness closer to his turn. The healing pods didn’t cure sickness so he’d just be sent back to his room to rest.

They were feeble wishes, but a boy can dream.

—

Unfortunately for Lance, they did have time for him. All day, dread had been clawing at his chest, and he’d taken every possible opportunity to have someone else go first.

But… he couldn’t put it off any longer. He had really considered faking a migraine or some shit, but if any of them found out they’d think he was being lazy. Or worse, they’d question why he wanted out so close to his turn anyways.

They’d been through Shiro’s mindscape. Forcing him to confront his fears and regrets about his time with the Galra, and helping him accept that it was all just survival. The Galran prisoner he used to be was running purely off instinct, and the Shiro they knew would never be so callous. They also helped him wrestle with the guilt and pain of leaving Adam behind.

They’d been through Pidge’s mindscape. Helping to quell her fears about not being able to find her parents. They’d sworn they would help her, and do whatever it took to get Matt and her father back.

They’d been through Hunk’s mindscape. Helping him through all the anxieties and fears that had taken hold of him over his years at the Garrison, and now in space. They’d consoled him by telling him that he was brave. That it was okay to be scared. And that he would never be alone.

They’d gone through Keith’s mindscape. Begrudgingly, he’d admitted to his feelings of lostness. How he wanted to feel a sense of self, and get to know who he was and where he came from. They’d told him they would help in whatever way they could, but that at the end of the day ‘who he was’ depended solely on him. Not who his parents were. They’d even gone as far as to say Voltron could be his family if he let it.

And now… now Lance had to go.

And he was terrified.

Coward! Afraid of what they might find? Afraid they’ll see how worthless their Blue Paladin really is?!

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he stared at the mindscape device in his hands. He looked up at Shiro, who smiled down at him.

“We’re right here with you.” He assured.

Lance smiled.

But for how long?

He pushed the voice away, pushed everything away. All his thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Then, he put on the device, and closed his eyes. The world around him melted away, and when he reopened his eyes, he found himself standing on a beach. The ground beneath him which he knew technically shouldn’t, felt soft. Having been through several mindscapes by now, he was used to the strange faux sensations they caused. Making it seem like you were actually there.

He looked around as the other Paladins faded in, and took in their surroundings.

Finally, it was Pidge who asked, “where are we?”

Lance smiled as he spotted a house on the hill, not far from the beachfront.

“My home.”

—

They made their way up the hill, Lance making absolutely certain that everything they saw was what he wanted them to see. Keeping the nasty voice that haunted his conscious locked behind the walls of this fabricated world.

Okay, fabricated wasn’t exactly the best word. This was all still very real. It was just something he was more comfortable showing the team. Something understandable. Something sweet. Something wholesome.

Something better to the alternative. Something easier.

They reached the house, and Lance grinned as he saw his little niblings playing in the front yard. Rolling around the grass, wrestling over a yellow toy truck.

They didn’t see him though, nor did they see the other Paladins. At the end of the day, they were just spectators to a virtual reality. They weren’t actually in Lance’s mind, and thus, couldn’t interact.

“Aww, they’re so cute! Who are they?” Pidge said, cooing as they drew nearer.

“Those are my niece and nephew.” He said, smiling fondly. He’d missed them so much. He’d missed them all so much.

Almost as if his mind was reflecting this, the house seemed to pull away, just slightly. Not quite letting the Paladins reach it.

Lance frowned.

“Woah… what was that?” Hunk asked, looking at Lance.

“I’m… not sure,” he admitted.

He could feel the fringes of his paradise shudder as an insult tried to break through. He didn’t let it. He couldn’t. Not with the Paladins watching.

But he could see their unease as the trembling surrounding the area scape passed.

Fortunately, his mother emerged from the house before they had time to question it.

She began spewing how she missed him, and he felt tears prick his eyes.

Each time they got close to the house it shifted away again. Pretty soon they caught on.

Homesickness. Homesickness was the barrier he was choosing to show the Paladins. The guilt for leaving his family behind. It was one he found much easier to bear. One he felt they would understand and accept.

And they did.

They comforted him, and told him it was okay to miss home.

And he thought, just for a moment he thought he’d done it.

He’d really done something right. He hadn’t fucked it up.

“Is this why you were so distracted yesterday? In the battle? You were missing your family?” Shiro asked.

Lance nodded.

And then the voice came rushing in, faster than he could stop it.

A venomous, icy echo twisted around them, filling up the atmosphere.

Liar!

He forced it back, but it was too late. The Paladins were looking around, frightened and confused.

“What was that?” Pidge exclaimed.

Shit.

“I- I don’t know…” he said, his voice dejected. But he found lying much harder in the midst of his panic.

“Lance. What aren’t you telling us?” Keith demanded.

Then it happened. A sharp sound drew Lance’s eyes to the ground, where a crack was beginning to spread beneath his feet.

“What the hell’s happening?!”

“Lance! What’s going on?!”

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t speak. He was frozen. Fear was creeping through his veins, sending a wind rushing through the mindscape.

A Paladin. Afraid of his own brain.

Pathetic!

More cracks. He closed his eyes, and tried to shove the voice away.

There was still time, still an opportunity to hide this, to get past this. He could do this.

“Lance!”

He looked up. Everyone looked scared. He was making them scared. And this was just the surface. No way he could let them see the full force of it!

Nobody would want you around then.

The voice crackled in the wind around them, sharp as a knife, but also sweet as honey. A perfect tone of intoxicating mockery. One that had haunted him for years.

Shards were beginning to fall away, revealing a world of empty blackness, and Lance was panicking.

How disappointing. Paladins aren’t supposed to panic.

“Lance, Lance it’s okay! Just breath buddy. Tell us what’s happening. We can help you!” Shiro assured.

They’ll hate you.

“We won’t!” Hunk tried to reassure, reaching out a hand.

And then the world fell away. The cracks gave way and Lance was falling. Falling. Falling. Falling. Away from the hill. Away from Cuba. Away from his little paradise.

And down

Down

Down

Into the bitter darkness.

Into the truth.

Into the nothing.

—

Lance inhaled sharply, his breath echoing all around him. All he could see was darkness. Darkness above, darkness below and darkness all around. Yet somehow, he was standing on solid ground. He tapped his feet curiously, a faint ringing echoing at the back of his mind. Like when you listen to the silence for too long.

Then he turned around, and found the other Paladins facing him.

His heart lurched. They were here… with him. Dios what has he done?!

“Lance… what- what is this?” Hunk asked, looking at his friend in deep confusion. Concern etched his expression.

“I- I don’t know…”

You never know! Came the voice. Harsher and clearer than it had on the beach house. Pounding in his head and vibrating in his skull.

He turned to see the faint outline of a person against the darkness. Inches from his face. It shoved him with a hiss, that’s the problem!

“Lance!” Keith started forward, sword in hand, but a voice interrupted him.

Are you gonna let him fight your battles?!

Another grey figure appeared in front of Keith, blocking Lance’s view of the Red Paladin.

I thought Paladins were supposed to be strong?!

Another figure appeared to the right of Lance.

But you were never much of a Paladin to begin with, were you?

Lance backed away. He closed his eyes and shook his head, begging it to stop.

Why? Why should we stop? Can’t handle the truth?

“Lance! Lance, it's okay! Look at me!” That was Shiro’s voice. It sounded so far away. Lance looked up to see the other Paladins, slowly disappearing behind a mob of grey.

They pity you.

You think any of them actually want you around.

Something latched onto his arm, digging its claws into his flesh.

After all you’ve done? After everything you’ve messed up?

Images of the earlier fight flickered all around them. Then it was all the fights before. All the times he’d done something wrong.

You’re a screw up, Lance! You don’t deserve to be a Paladin.

Lance was being dragged down. Dragged down by thousands of latching hands. Swarming and smothering him. Suffocating him in his own greatest faults. His biggest insecurities.

And he was faintly aware of the other Paladins screaming for him.

They were seeing all of this.

He hadn’t wanted them to.

Did you really think you could keep this from them? That they wouldn’t find out how weak you are?

How useless you are?

You’re stupider than I thought.

And that’s saying something.

Tears pricked his eyes as more claws dug into his flesh, ripping and tearing as he tried to fight them off.

Nobody wants you around!

I’d say go back home, but I doubt they’d want you either!

More hostile, hungry claws stretched from the crowd, latching onto his skin and screaming in his ears. Lance cried as the claws dug into his skin, but his voice was drowned out by the icy, honeysuckle tone of the never ending voice.

Pathetic

Weak

Selfish asshole

Can’t even deny it.

Lance curled in on himself, tears flowing down his cheeks and sobs racking his body. Surely they would all hate him now, after seeing all this. After seeing what a mess he really was.

Can’t even fight back?

You were never meant to be a Paladin!

You don’t belong here!

You’re just a cargo pilot!

Nothing to offer!

You’re not special!

Pain raked his body as he felt himself being torn apart. In the back of his mind he wondered how they were touching him. Coran said they wouldn’t be able to. But of course, Lance always did seem to do the impossible when it came to screwing up.

They would be better off without you and you know it!

There’s so many better options to pilot the Blue Lion.

Shame they had to settle for you.

He tried not to listen. Tried so hard.

You’re hopeless!

But they were right, weren’t they?

Stupid!

Deadweight!

And in that moment, Lance found himself lost. Succumbing to the sea of his own insecurities. They’d come on this mission to connect as a unit

But…

He had never felt more alone in his entire life.

It was just him, and the voice echoing over and over in his mind.

You’re nothing

—

Lance jolted upright, phantom claws still tearing at his skin as he looked around frantically.

He was back on the training deck. Sitting on the floor. He was fairly certain he hadn’t been on the floor when they’d gone in.

He was breathing heavily, his body shaking as tears ran freely down his cheeks. The only positive right now was that whatever wounds the figures seemed to have inflicted were gone… if they had ever really existed in the first place.

“Lance…” came an empty, uncertain voice. The Blue Paladin looked up to see the other Paladins standing a foot or so away, watching him completely break down after…

After…

Dios! They were gonna hate him. More than they did already!

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered.

If it was possible, he began quivering harder.

At that moment, nobody seemed to know what to do. They were all frozen in some sort of silent shock, mortified by what they’d just witnessed.

And then… to everyone’s surprise… Keith began walking towards Lance.

The Blue Paladin began scrambling away, trying to pull himself to his feet and failing as he stumbled backwards. He raised a feeble hand to try and hide his crying eyes.

Kieth grabbed his arm, catching him as he fell. He tried to pull away, letting out a frantic whimpering sound. But Keith held his grip and pulled Lance towards him.

And then they were hugging. Lance felt slender, firm arms wrapped around his back. He fought against them for a few seconds, but the Red Paladin didn’t let up.

So, Lance folded. Keith dropped to his knees as the boy buried his head in the Red Paladin’s shoulder, clutching the back of his shirt with trembling hands. Sobs raked his body, and Keith only seemed to hold him tighter.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Lance murmured through his sobbing. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. What would they think of him now?

Another pair of arms joined them, and Lance heard Hunk whisper in his ear, “It’s okay, buddy.”

Then something small weaselled its way between the hands already around Lance, and he heard Pidge murmur, “we’re right here.”

A hand fell on his shoulder, and Shiro spoke in a calm, affirming voice: “we’re not going anywhere buddy.”

And Lance cried harder. He was sure he was squeezing Keith too hard. He was sure he was making a fool of himself. He was sure they all just pitied him.

“I’m sorry.” He sobbed again wetly. Voice thick with misery. The embrace became more secure, and Lance was acutely aware of Shiro joining it fully.

Then, someone moved their hand into Lance’s hair. Working it between their fingers, and combing it gently. “Don’t—“ Keith rasped. If Lance wasn’t sure they all hated him now, if he wasn’t sure this was just pity, he’d say he heard a quiver in his voice, “don’t apologise.”

And they sat there, Lance sobbing into Keith’s shoulder as the team embraced him from every angle, smothering them in their warmth. This smothering, it wasn’t like what the figures had done. It wasn’t suffocating. In fact, with each passing second it seemed to breathe more life into Lance.

And even though he knew it wouldn’t last, even though he knew his time with the team was at its end…

He didn’t feel so alone anymore.

—

Keith was shell shocked. He couldn’t comprehend it. Lance was supposed to be the happy one. The one who cracked jokes, and… and kept everyone optimistic, and annoyed everyone with his dumb, extremely endearing pick-up lines.

He wasn’t supposed be sad. He wasn’t supposed to be the one falling apart. He wasn’t supposed to believe so little of himself that his own mind turned on him the second it got the chance.

Yet here they were. Lance in Keith’s arms as he carried the Blue Paladin to his room after he’d cried so hard he’d passed out from exhaustion.

It wasn’t right, seeing Lance so broken.

How long has he felt like this? How long had he been hiding it? How long had he been pretending?

Keith wasn’t sure he really wanted to know. Because if his instincts were correct (and they usually were): he never hadn’t been.

The Red Paladin approached Lance’s bed. He propped the boy’s body against him as he pulled back the covers. Then, cradling him gently in his arms (strange that this had happened twice now), he lifted Lance up and set him down on the mattress.

Keith couldn’t believe it. Salty tracks stained the Paladin’s face, and Keith had to fight to keep his own tears down.

Because seeing Lance like this… it hurt.

It was wrong.

It felt more wrong to him than anything had ever felt in his life.

And Keith knew why.

Because ontop of how unbelievable it was that this was how Lance really felt… Keith loved him. He loved Lance so much.

And seeing him like that, completely helpless. Completely broken…

It hurt worse than anything Keith had ever felt before.

And he swore to himself, right there and then, that he would make sure Lance never felt that way again. He wouldn’t give the Paladin room to doubt. He would make him see just how beautiful he was.

—

Lance awoke to a hand in his own - grip weak - and something pressed against his side. He looked around disoriented for a moment. He was aware of a couple things: the person beside him (obviously), the exhaustion and aching in his limbs, the dim lighting, and the stiff skin on his cheeks that came with dried tears.

So he had been crying? Why?

He moved a bit, sitting up to try and see who was with him.

Had they seen him cry? Dios he hoped not.

As he moved, he felt the hand atop his twitch, before the grip grew tighter. Lance gasped as the figure sat up, and blue eyes met black. The hint of violet in them was a dead give away as to who it was, as was the black mop of hair.

Lance would reckognise that mullet anywhere.

“Keith?” He asked.

“Lance!” And the boy in question had never seen Keith look so happy, so relieved. He wasn’t sure why, not like he was in a healing pod or anything.

“What’s goin’ on?” Lance asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

And then he remembered. The mindscape, and the figures, and the sobbing and the hugs… and he dropped his gaze.

“…oh.”

He knew his voice sounded small. Weak.

Pathetic.

He couldn’t hold back the wince.

Then a hand squeezed his. “Lance…” Keith tried to turn his gaze towards him, but Lance couldn’t look up. He feared he’d see scrutiny and disgust. He was certain now why Keith had waited by his bedside. He wanted to tell Lance he was off the team. Tell him he couldn’t be the Blue Paladin anymore. Tell him they didn’t want someone on the team who held them back.

And tears flooded his eyes.

“Lance, hey, it’s okay.” Keith brushed a soft hand against the boy’s cheek, brushing away stray tears.

Lance lifted his hands, pushing Keith’s out of the way as he frantically tries to wipe his own eyes. He felt guilty and embarrassed and stupid.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, though whether he was apologising for the tears or his very existence he wasn’t sure. He supposed it could be both.

Hands grabbed his face, grip gentle but firm. “Hey, none of that.”

And the tears came even more. Even now he was disappointing Keith with his stupid crying.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I’m sorry. I- I tried—“

“No, Lance! Don’t apologise.” Keith reiterated.

Of course, Keith didn’t want to see him grovelling. Didn’t want to see his pathetic attempts at asking for forgiveness. He was done with him, and nothing Lance said would change that.

But… dammit a part of him begged to be allowed to stay. Allowed another chance.

He cried harder.

“I know— I know you want me off the team. I know I’m a disappointment. I know I’m just holding you back. But please. Please, I can do better. I’ll work harder. I’ll train every day. Please! Please, Keith, don’t send me away. I- I can’t— I don’t—“ his pleas died out in exchange for desperate sobs.

Look at you. You think this will make him take you back? You’re disgusting! He’s disgusted by you! He’s right to send you away.

You don’t deserve his forgiveness.

You don’t deserve Voltron.

Keith’s voice broke through the terror.

“Woah, hey, hey, hey!” Lance could hear the awkwardness in his voice. Keith never really was good with people. Good with emotions. And here Lance was making it harder by crying all over him.

Deadweight. Dumbass. Worthless.

“No one’s goin’ anywhere. Okay?”

Lance stilled. He sobbing stopped, and he felt like the ground had just been pulled out from under him.

He dared look up, dared meet Keith’s gaze, and was met with nothing but soft, gentle eyes flooded with concern. Concern and heartache.

“What?” He asked weakly.

It didn’t make any sense.

Nothing makes sense to you.

“We're not kicking you out Lance.” Keith said, pain evident in his voice.

Lance was… so confused.

“But…” he couldn’t find the words.

Keith sighed. It wasn’t exasperated, or irritated. Just… heavy. “We need to talk, Lance. You, me, and the rest of the team.”

Oh. So they weren’t kicking him off the team. They were just gonna reprimand him.

I bet it’s because they pity you.

They don’t have the heart to send you to the whims of space. They don’t have the time to drop you back on earth. So once again, they’re just stuck with you.

The deadweight.

The burden.

“Why don’t you come with me.”

And then gentle arms were wrapping around the Blue Paladin’s waste, helping him to his feet. Lance’s legs wobbled, and a new bout of shame engulfed him as he clung tightly to Keith.

Fuck!

—

Keith led him down to the lounge area, keeping a stable, comforting grip around the shaking boy’s form the whole way down. The half-Galra could tell Lance was still exhausted, and for a moment he wondered if he should have told Lance to rest before dragging him all the way down here.

But, Lance was convinced that the team didn’t want him around, and the thought of letting those feelings simmer any longer made Keith’s heart ache.

No, they needed to talk to him. Before Lance regained the ability to try and cover it up… he was rather good at that. Despite all of this, Keith found himself admiring just how good an actor Lance was. He’d managed to get past Keith’s scary accurate instincts, the Red Paladin not having thought for a second that the boy he paid attention to the most on this ship was hurting so much. Not until it all came crashing down.

Which begged the question: What else had Lance been hiding?

Hopefully nothing. But that wasn’t important right now.

What was important is that Lance got help.

—

The others were already waiting for them when they arrived. Lance refused to meet their gaze as he was led by the Red Paladin over to the sitting area, where he was lowered onto a couch. Shame churned in his blood as he stared at his shaking hands. He was pathetic, couldn’t even manage to walk himself.

The tension in the room was thick, Altean space goo thick. The longer the silence grew, the worse Lance felt.

Just berate me already! Then we can all move on with our lives! He pleaded.

Not that you’d have anything meaningful to move on to, his mind filled in kindly.

Finally, Shiro decided it was time to put the Blue Paladin out of his misery. “Lance… we need to talk about yesterday. Your mindscape-“

Lance thought he would be able to bear it. To sit through another ridiculing lecture about his incompetence. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t bear to listen to the disappointment of his team members. Couldn’t bear to withstand the disapproval. So, against his better judgement, he interrupted desperately.

“I know! Okay, I know. You don’t have to say anything. I know I fucked up! I failed the exercise and made a complete fool of myself. I know behaved in a way no true Paladin of Voltron ever would! I know I compromised Voltron’s bond and probably put you all in danger, and I know- I- I know you all think I’m stupid, and weak and unworthy now! I know I’m not good enough, I know I’m only here because you don’t have time to find another Paladin for Blue, I know none of you actually want me around! I know! I know, I-“ Tears had begun streaming down his face again, his palms pressed into his eyes as he tried desperately to hide his obvious despair.

A firm grip on his shoulders caused him to look up with a start. In an instant he regretted it as tears spilled from bloodshot, tired eyes.

Weak!

But before he could wipe them away, or hide his face again, Shiro said something he was not expecting.

“No, Lance. No… no to all of that. You didn’t mess anything up, and none of us think you’re weak, or stupid, or unworthy. We do want you here. You belong on this team Lance, and it’s okay to not be… okay sometimes.”

Lance’s tears didn’t let up, despite the obvious genuinely in Shiro’s eyes. He should be grateful… happy. They weren’t mad. But… that… that couldn’t be right.

“N-no. No you’re- you’re lying. You don’t mean that, I know! I already know! I’ve always known! You- you’re just trying to make me feel better. You just- you- you’re trying to keep Voltron together so you don’t have t- to waste time f-f-finding someone else. But you w-w-want to. You want someone better. I know I’m not-“ his choppy, shaky voice cut off at a an angry voice coming from behind Shiro.

“Do you really think that?! After everything we’ve been through! You really think none of us actually care?!” It was Pidge, small, angry, heartbroken Pidge.

“How can you fucking say that shit when we’re supposed to be your friends! How can you fucking- think that shit about yourself— you don’t- how could you not trust us to tell-“ Pidge, smart, intellectual, tactful Pidge, was at a loss for words.

And then her anger broke. Taken over by guilt, regret, and most of all, fear.

“Did we really treat you that badly?”

Lance’s heart was thumping in his chest. No. No he made Pidge upset, now everyone was gonna be mad- he couldn’t- “No- n- no -o no no no, no, no! No! No! It was- you guys never! You guys were always so great! So good! I’m the one that’s the problem here! You never- I just- it’s just the truth. That’s just how it is- I didn’t-“ he paused for a beat, staring at everyone as they watched the interaction. Then, finally, he returned his gaze to his hands, “I’m sorry.”

“Okay, everyone just… take a breath,” Shiro said, stepping away from Lance, and sitting down on a chair across from the couch he was on.

There was silence as everyone situated themselves around the area. Keith sat next to Lance on his left, and Hunk sat on his right. Pidge sat next to Shiro on a stool, while Coran and Allura shared another couch situated next to Pidge and Shiro.

Then, finally, Shiro asked something.

“How long have you been feeling like this?”

Lance was confused. Again.

Idiot.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re not good enough… for Voltron.”

Lance was glad for the final specification. That made the question a little easier to answer. Even still, he found the words tangled in his throat as he feared the reaction the answer would recieve.

“I…” his body tensed as he felt all eyes on him. His heart started racing. He was trying to answer but he couldn’t. Of course he couldn’t. He could never do anything he was supposed to! They were asking him a question and he couldn’t even find it in himself to answer!

Stupid!

Weak!

Worthless!

Deadweight!

Fingers brushed against his thigh, and he looked down to see Keith’s hand slowly inching towards him, clearly trying to comfort him. To get his attention.

“Take your time,” the Red Paladin said. “We- we’ve got nowhere else to go.”

Lance looked away. Look at him, having to be placated like a child. Still, he hated to admit that the removal of pressure helped.

“I… I guess… I guess I… always?” He said uncertainty. Shrinking in on himself as he braced for backlash. Surly now they would see how inadequate he had been from the start.

But Shiro’s voice remained calm, and the room remained quiet.

“Why?”

Lance scoffed at that, leaning back against the couch, but keeping his eyes on his lap. “Isn’t it kind of obvious?”

“Tell me anyway. It might not be as obvious to some of us.”

Lance was pretty sure that wasn’t true, but he was already on thin ice with the team as it was, he wasn’t about to disobey Shiro.

Still though, it took him several minutes to be able to say the words out loud.

“You- you guys are all so… so good at stuff. Pidge is smart and good with technology and determined. She can hack into anything and we’d be dead like 10x over without her. Hunk is gentle, and big hearted, he’s a good cook and a great engineer for Voltron. He gets along well with aliens and he’s always there when people need him. Allura and Coran are the last of their kind alive! We need Allura to run the ship, she’s got altean magic plus she’s like royalty. She’s important. And Coran keeps everything running on the ship. He knows so much about space and planets, and he’s the best doctor we have - besides the healing pods. Keith’s our best pilot and our best swordsman. He’s confident and brave and insanely talented! Without him I don’t know if we’d have survived half the battles we were in, he’s a great soldier! And Shiro is… Shiro is our leader. Shiro’s been through so much. He’s so calm and level headed and determined and we need him. Without Shiro we’d be nothing! Without any of you we’d be nothing!”

He paused, taking a moment to catch his breath, recollect his thoughts, and brace himself for what he was about to say next. For the truth he’d kept inside for so long. There was no hiding it anymore, they’d all seen it first hand and now he had to explain it.

“But me? I’m nothing special. I’m not… any of that. I’m not smart, I’m not creative, or a diplomat. I’m not brave or talented or a leader. I don’t know things! I’m not important! I’m just Lance! I’m stupid and weak and annoying and useless and I don’t contribute anything but subpar shooting skills that any of you could probably learn faster than I ever did! I’m just a fucking deadweight, I hold Voltron back, I’m a fucking joke of a pilot! I’m not even really a fighter pilot, I got in a technicality! I always fuck things up! I’m a fuck up! A stupid, weak, good for nothing, worthless fuck up who doesn’t deserve to be a Paladin! Voltron would be so much better off if I just stopped being selfish and fucked off already so you guys wouldn’t have to deal with my shit anymore! Maybe then we’d actually be making progress against the Galra!”

He hadn’t meant to say that much. Actually he’d planned on stopping after ‘I’m just Lance!’ But, once he started, he found the words just poured out of him faster than he could collect them back up. And now… now here he was. With everything he’d ever felt about himself being laid on the table. Everything his own mind ever fucking screamed at him coming out in a convoluted mess as he finally found the words put to it’s mockery.

Lance lifted his hand, trying to whisk his still very much present tears away, when a gloved hand caught it.

He looked at Keith, making eye contact. Suddenly he was stuck. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think (not that he usually could).

Because Keith, warrior, closed off, emotionless Keith… had tears in his eyes.

“That’s not true! None of that is true! You’re not stupid, or weak, or worthless, or any of that! You are Lance! Smart, skilled, funny, beautiful, amazing, wonderful Lance! Lance who always seems to know how to lighten the mood or offer up a joke! Lance who keeps everyone positive and innocent in the middle of a fucking space war! Lance, the sharpshooter, who we know always has our backs in battle. Lance who cares so much about everyone around him, and who would give his life in an instant to save any one of us! Lance who hid for so long that he was suffering because he didn’t want to make anyone else upset! Lance who thinks of everyone so highly that he thinks he isn’t good enough! But you are Lance! You are good enough! You’ve always been good enough! You’re not a deadweight, or a cargo pilot! You are so much more than that!”

Lance just stared as Keith tried to drive home a message that he just… that Lance couldn’t comprehend. This wasn’t… this couldn’t… he’d always known that he wasn’t… and now Kieth, Kieth who hated Lance’s guts was telling him…

Hunk joined up, bringing Lance into his arms as he began to speak. “We care about you man. Me especially. Whenever I’m feeling nervous or overwhelmed, you are what keeps me grounded. Keeps me from completely freaking out. You’re my best friend, and I would be devastated if you left. I couldn’t do this without you.”

Pidge nodded, staying where she was as she added her own two cents. “I know I haven’t always been the nicest towards you… especially in our early days as friends. I made you feel like you were stupid and not worth my time, and I didn’t even realise or try to apologise because I had other things going on. But I’ve always admired you Lance… the way you embrace everyone around you so easily - except maybe Keith - and the way you’re always so aware of everything going on around you. You always know exactly what to say or do to take the edge off, even if it means you end up getting yelled at or in trouble. You take care of us out here, and I never told you before but… I am extremely grateful for you.”

Lance was speechless. They were all saying such… nice things. Things he never saw as passably notable or important. Things he’d always said he had to do to make up for the fact that he was a complete fucking pile of nothing. And of course they weren’t! Not up to the standards of everyone else. None of that really helped in the fight against the Galra… did it?

“Lance,” Shiro began, “you are a valued and inconsequential member of this team. Your bond with the Blue Lion is the strongest out of all of us. Your ability to trust so deeply and so completely in others has been life changing in our diplomatic missions. There’s something about you that is just… so disarming that people want to be around you. I just wish…” he sighed, “I just wish you’d trusted us enough to tell us that you were feeling like this. You didn’t have to suffer alone Lance, none of us ever have to go through anything alone.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pidge asked. She always wanted to know the why.

Lance, completely taken aback by everything, took a minute to register the question.

“I… didn’t think anyone would care. I thought it was just common knowledge… or that if I told you then you’d realise I was right. I didn’t want to jeopardize our objective with my stupid problems, not when it was just as easy to go about my day pretending everything was fine.”

Shiro’s eyes grew soft, “Lance, we would never ever kick you off the team for talking about your problems. I promise. You should never be afraid to talk to us. You don’t have to lie, or pretend you’re okay when you’re not. We’re a team, we’re here for each other, and nobody is going to be angry at you for telling us how you’re feeling.”

Lance’s lower lip trembled. The tears, which had subsided by the time Hunk started talking, came back. He pulled his hand out of Keith’s grasp to wipe at his eyes… again.

“I just- I- I didn’t want you guys to hate me.” Lance had given up trying to sound okay. His voice was wet, broken and oh so afraid. As if any minute they would realise that everything he was talking about was indeed true, and that they’d send him off into space. It’s what he deserved.

Hunk pulled him in again, this time it was a proper bear hug. Lance cried. It wasn’t the raw, terrified, pleading sobs that had taken over his body in the training room. These tears were drawn from a place of relief and mild fear. After all this time he’d finally let it all out, he’d finally opened up and showed them what he was - what he really was - and so far… they didn’t hate him.

They could. They may one day just decide they didn’t want him around. But right now they wanted him… all of him.

So he cried; and when Keith wrapped his arms around Lance from behind he didn’t resist; and when Pidge and Coran came over to join he didn’t fight; and when Allura and the space mice nuzzled their way in he didn’t try to run; and when Shiro finally decided to join in fully on the embrace, he stayed put.

He didn’t scream, or kick, or claw or try to get away. He embraced them, all of them. Embraced their warmth and their love, and their desire for him to be okay.

And he cried.

And though those tears would not be able to wash away the toxin of his brain. The poison that had built up after years of his life feeling like he was just some second rate cargo pilot from Cuba… they were a start.

A start to the long road to healing. A start to seeing himself as equal to his peers. A start to seeing himself deserving of Blue and his Paladin uniform.

They were a start to his long journey to feeling like he was worthy.

Like he was something.

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

it's been a while since I regularly read klance fic but I just don't think any other fandom was doing the deathbed confessions like klance. because of the healing pods it was just a very real possibility that a character in voltron could be on the edge of death and then just…not die, quite easily. and that was just *chefs kiss* for the deathbed confessions crowd (me) and it was such a common trope in the fandom, truly we were fed good

[starcrossedpaladins]

I have so many klance fic ideas and I want to finally start writing some. they are all super cliche and full of tropes. I want some opinions and motivation to actually write and post something.

feel free to ask about any of them (more details length etc). right now they exist as ideas in my notes app and I'd love to flush some out and I'd like to know what people are interested in reading.