#kinda wish i could get up at 5 am all the time but i only ever do bc of insomnia lol
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mutalune · 5 months ago
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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elegyofthemoon · 2 years ago
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if by force i do NOT like waking up incredibly early but if its bc of insomnia i sure do ! the sunrise was v pretty :) nice yellow glow in the house
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rowarn · 3 months ago
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as usual . i am thinking of zombie apocalypse au.....simon....listen take a seat listen to me....
simon who is a very disgruntled, loner survivor. you wind up in his territory and he's pissed abt it. but ur like all soft and cute and he feels kinda bad just leaving u to fend for urself so he decides to help u out BUT ONLY FOR A FEW DAYS!!! ur only allowed for a few days!!! and over the course of 5 days he helps u out. feeds u, gets u some better clothes, teaches u smarter ways to survive.
and then the 5 days are up and he send u on ur day. even tho there's a nagging feeling in his head telling him ur not ready to be on ur own. ur not survivor material. he needs to train u a bit more, keep u around a bit longer - totally not bc ur the first person he's liked since this hell started. no, totally not.
but he ignores that nagging feeling in his head and sends u on ur way anyway. he can tell ur sad and scared to go on your own. he knows you wanna beg him to stay, to keep u, not send u away. but he does anyway.
and then only a couple weeks later he finds a zombie wandering in his territory. he freezes when he goes to dispose of it. because it's you. the sweet little thing he'd sent away. he knew he was sending you to your death but seeing the consequences of his actions is nauseating to him.
and now he has to live with the fact he'd gotten you killed. and the fact that his hide out now feels a lot colder and darker now that he knows you'll never be back in it, lighting it up with your smiles and laughter - things he's pretended annoyed him when you were around. now he wishes he could go back in time and appreciate them properly.
and lord knows he'll never take on another survivor for as long as he lives. can't risk experiencing this ache in his chest ever again. makes you a little grave outside his hideout. writes you a letter and tapes it to your grave marker - hoping that will atone for his mistake.
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judebelle · 1 year ago
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been thinking ab joao and reader hooking up behind his teammates backs'... like they've been "involved" for a while but sometimes the tension is too much and they have to sneak away iykwim ;)
sneaky - j.f. x reader
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a/n : omfg anon ur gonna be the death of meeeeeee!! also i made this kinda long since i havent posted in a while, oops..
pairing : joao felix x fem!reader
word count : 2.3k
summary : joao and u prefer to keep your love life private, secret even, but the the flirty looks and knowing smirks from across the room are becoming unbearable.
cw : smut obv, lil bit of alejandro x reader, sneaky joao and reader, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it ppl), make outs, cursing, me not bothering to accent his name lol sorry
---
you were starting to regret going out to dinner with your friend alejandro and his teammates.
the only reason why being that one of his teammates had become more.
hooking up with joao felix on the down low has been fun, you won't lie. and while you enjoy sneaky quickies and flirty messages, there were times where you wish you could just tear off his clothes and fuck that smug smile right off his face.
you were currently sitting in a restaurant, a private room and table was booked for alejandro, his barcelona teammates, and their plus ones. you and alejandro had become inseparable ever since you met in spain a few years ago, and you had grown increasingly close to his teammates.
very close to a certain mr felix.
the first time you met joao, it wasn't anything magical, you just thought he was fit. alejandro had introduced you to him when he came on loan to barca recently, and you just couldn't get him out of your head.
it seems that the feelings were mutual, as that very same night he followed you on instagram. you, of course, played it cool and took your time following him back (you waited like 10 seconds).
from there, you two messaged often, especially after the team would hang out.
joaofelix79 : u got home safe?
ynsusername : ofc i did
ynsusername : alejandro wouldn't let anything happen to me
joaofelix79 : that's good.
you two started messaging more, sometimes even calling each other late in the night. you couldn't explain why, maybe he was just fun to talk to.
you would complain to him about work, and he would complain about a mistake he made in training.
eventually, you two started hanging out alone.
not anything crazy, of course.
joaofelix79 : hey
joaofelix79 : js noticed im about to drive by ur place
joaofelix79 : wanna get some ice cream? my treat
how could you refuse that?
it wasn't all that shocking to you when a surprise ice cream date turned out into a steamy make out session on a bench in a park in the middle of the night.
"we should stop, someone might see us.." you murmured against the portuguese boy's lips, you yourself making no effort to.
"ok, if that's what you want." he pulled away from you, his fluffy hair disheveled thanks to you.
"5 more minutes" you placed your lips on his again, feeling him smile against them.
from there, weekly hangouts became almost nightly. he would pick you up in his car, and you would drive anywhere. you just needed an excuse to make out. you even put your number in his phone.
eventually, joao grew tired of the make outs that led to nothing, and you did too.
12:03 am - joao : wyd
12:03 am - you : was ab to put some instant noodles in the microwave lol
12:04 am - joao : dont bother
12:04 am - joao : come eat at my place
12:05 am - joao : i ordered uber eats
of course, you went, and you two ate the chinese takeout he bought. you two sat and laughed together at his attempt at using chopsticks.
and then you found yourself perched on his kitchen counter, him in between your legs while he rammed into you mercilessly. you left red marks across his back and biceps.
"my god, you feel amazing, querida." joao's words were muffled as his head was nuzzled into your neck, his lips caressing your hot skin with every word he spoke.
"i'm so fucking close, joao.." you whined and whispered curses while your hands found themselves travelling from his arms to his hair, tugging on the soft brown locks.
"let go, y/n, i'm close too!" he removed his flushed face from your neck and connected your lips together again, breathing heavily into your mouth.
you came undone with a sharp whine, arching into him. his thrusts became sloppy as he let out a long groan against your lips, releasing into the condom.
that was the first time you two had fucked, and it definitely would not be the last.
his house was usually where you two would hook up because it was so big, and you didn't have to worry about anything when you were there.
you two fucked anywhere - on the bed, in the shower, on the couch, even in the laundry room.
you found that it didn't really matter where you were. if either of you were craving the other, it happened right then and there. it was fun. it kept you on your toes, kept things fresh and fun.
but it became a curse when you two were at a team dinner.
---
"si, i told him he could go fuck off if that was what he wanted. that guy needs to learn some manners, for fucks sake!"
the table erupted in laughs as pedro went on about some story that you weren't really paying attention to to be honest. you were sat right beside your good friend, alejandro, who was very intrigued in pedro's story and hadn't spoken to you more than twice this evening.
across from you was joao. he was wearing a black dress shirt that hugged his biceps perfectly along with black dress pants. of course, to make your life more difficult, the top two shirt buttons weren't done up.
one more open button and everyone would've seen the hickey you gave him the other-
"isn't that right, y/n?"
alejandro was speaking to you, and you were too busy staring at joao's biceps to hear him.
"hmm? sorry?"
"i said, it was you who i walked in on dancing silently in the darkness darkness of your room, right?" alejandro smirked at the sight of your cheeks going red, this memory being nothing short of embarrassing to you.
"yup, that- uh- that was me..!" you looked down in humiliation as the table giggled at alejandro's unexpected story about you. he loved embarrassing you, it was his thing. he found it fun because he thought of you like a little sister.
you looked up to see joao, laughing along with everyone else at the table, finding amusement in your misery. you shot him a playful glare.
"i'm only teasing, mi corazón." alejandro chuckled before ruffling your hair. "ale!" you whined, fixing your hair. his friends teased you. they all thought of you as their little sister, especially you being one of the younger ones.
the men continued on with their conversations as you continued looking at joao from your end of the table, only this time, he was looking at you too.
he was taking a slow sip of his water, eyeing you down.
joao wasn't the only one dressed all sexy tonight. you wore a short black satin strapless dress that hugged your figure perfectly. you thought of joao when you picked it out, you thought of him while putting it on, and you thought of him taking it off.
it seems that joao had the same thought. the way he looked at you from under his lashes gave you the impression that your outfit choice was a smart one.
you sent him a quick wink.
he smirked and dropped his eyes to your cleavage, widening them.
you rolled yours before continuing to eat your steak.
---
you couldn't take it anymore.
something the way he laughed with everyone at the table, his hair flowing when he turned his head. he had on a gold rolex and a gold chain, both glistening under the lighting over the table.
it was the way he carried himself with such confidence. he knew he was hot, and he knew you knew it too. that confidence definitely carried over into bed.
finally, you got up from the table, excusing yourself to "make a call".
shooting joao a quick look, he took the hint. his eyes followed you, watching you exit the restaurant and head towards the parking lot. after an agonizing 30 seconds or so, joao told everyone he forgot something in his car, and made a beeline to where he saw you last.
he saw you standing outside his car, waiting for him. he made his way towards you.
"so, who did you have to call?" he teased, his eyes waiting for your reaction. you scoffed and rolled your eyes, "very funny.".
you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you leaned against his car. he smiled down at you before looking over your figure.
"nice dress.."
"just take it off."
---
you two had squeezed into the back of his car, leaving nothing but surrounding street lights as your light source. you straddled his waist, rocking your hips while you smashed your lips against his. you two were breathing heavily, occasionally breaking the kiss to huff and puff before going back at it again.
joao's arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, his right hand occasionally sliding down to cup and smack your ass. his actions made you yelp into the kiss. your arms were everywhere. cupping his face, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his chest, on his abs.
it was like you two hadn't seen each other in years. like you were drowning and the only way to breathe was.. this.
your smooth rocking of the hips created a hard bulge in joao's pants which felt great on your throbbing clit. he groaned into the kiss, breaking it for you to breathe and to leave kisses down your neck.
"so, fucking, horny" he broke each word with a kiss. you moaned above him. "you can't even last one dinner party without my hands all over you?" you wanted him to shut up, so you grabbed his face in your hand and smashed your lips against his.
you started unbuttoning his shirt, but your hands were too shaky to do it quickly. "take this off, god damnit!" you groaned as he laughed and began unbuttoning it himself. you hiked your dress up and helped him with the last few buttons.
you moved his shirt partially off him, leaving it on his arms since you couldn't be bothered. you leaned down to kiss his chest while looking up at him. he was smiling down at you, hands rested behind his head.
he brought you back up to pull the top of your dress down just enough so that your tits would pop out. when they did, he licked his lips. now it was his turn to lean down and suck on them, making you tilt your head back and pant.
"joao, we dont have time for this-"
"shhh, patience princesa. don't worry." he went back to sucking.
"they're going to realize we're gone- joao!"
he couldn't bring himself to leave your tits alone, but when he did, you quickly reached down and undid his belt , not even bothering to pull it off.
"estás mesmo excitado, não é?" (you're really excited, aren't you?)
you nodded and bit your lip.
he unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out of his boxers. you raised yourself up on your knees and hovered over his dick. he held it up with one hand, the other resting on your hip.
"are you ready for me?" he teased.
"enough questions." you cut his teasing short as you took his cock in your hands yourself and sunk down on him.
joao hissed at the unexpected pleasure. he looked up at you, gasping for air above him before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
"move for me, bebé."
you did as you were told, lifting your hips up until just the tip of him was left in you, before sinking back down on him, agonizingly slow.
he shuddered at the feeling.
you picked up the pace, causing the car to rock. your tits bounced in his face, causing him to twitch inside you.
"fuck, y/n, you're amazing-" you laugh breathlessly above him, your hands resting on his shoulders for stability while his gripped your hips tightly.
after some time, your thighs were burning, and you were getting tired. joao picked this up, taking control. his grip on your hips was put to some use as he moved your hips up and down for you. he lifted and dropped you so easily and made you move so much faster. you felt the air leave your lungs and arched your back to stick your tits in his face.
he grinned as he thrusted his hips up, meeting you in the middle. he tilted your body back, and started to hit the spot inside you that made you see white.
your pants and gasps turned into moans and whines as you felt the bundle of heat in your core.
"joao, i'm close" you warned, your nails digging into his shoudlers.
"i'm right there with you, baby, oh," he groaned and grunted as he watched him drill into you faster and faster. "meu deus, foda-se!" (my god, fuck!) he hissed with gritted teeth as he felt you clench around him.
his pace was too much for you to hold back. you let go with a gasp and moan, your hand slamming and sliding down the steamy car window, leaving a print.
joao was, indeed, right there with you. he pulled your body off of him and set you down on his thighs hastily before stroking his red, throbbing cock, cumming all over your stomach with a string of grunts and pants.
you both sat there in the hot and dark car in disbelief, covered in sweat and panting, after having the most mind blowing sex you've ever had. you leaned your forehead against his and smiled. he chuckled before teasing you once more.
"let's go. we don't want to miss dessert, do we?"
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cosmerelists · 5 months ago
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If Other Stormlight Characters Served as the King's Wit
As requested by anon. :)
"The King's Wit" is there to insult people in the king's stead. In this role, Hoid basically gets to stand at the entrance to feasts and make fun of people. It's a good gig for him. But what if other characters had this job?
1. The Stormfather
Stormfather (rumbling with displeasure): You have broken an oath today. Stormfather: You promised your son that you would play "Shattered Plains" with him this afternoon, but you did not. Stormfather: Though you feast for today, my storm winds shall one day scatter your dishonored bones. Elhokar (visibly sweating): Ha ha my new Wit sure is, ah, intense!
2. Kaladin
Kaladin: Ew. Another Lighteyes... Kaladin: Sniff, sniff! Smells like the exploitation of the powerless in here! Kaladin: I can name a dozen men better than you and guess what--they're ALL darkeyed. Kaladin: Nice outfit--did it come free with your ancestral privilege?  Elhokar (muttering to himself): I will not put him in jail again, I will not put him in jail again, I will not...
3. Shallan
Shallan: [sketching] Hapless Lighteyed guest: Is that...me? Shallan: It is! [shows Ideal Self portrait--it's the same person, only their sadness and distrust is gone and they shine with an earnest and honest light, looking out toward their future] Hapless Lighteyed Guest (visibly tearing up): I...It's beautiful. Shallan: Please, go ahead & take it! Elhokar: Shallan-Wit, why is everyone at my feast introspective and crying? Shallan: I'm really good at art.
4. Adolin
Adolin: Wow! You are so brave to put those colors together, and in a style from two years ago ago! Adolin: You are almost pulling it off. 
5. Dalinar
Dalinar: Hello. I could not help but overhear your heated argument, my friends. Dalinar: It reminds me of a tale from the Way of Kings, which I will now quote from memory... Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Aaaaand, they fled. Dalinar: That's the third time that's happened this evening.
6. Ialai
Ialai: [hands hapless lighteyed guest a folded-up sheet of paper] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-Where did you get this information about me? And my husband? And my...former boyfriend's sister's cousin? Ialai: [merely smiles] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-What do you want? Please! I'll do anything! Ialai: Why...nothing at all. Yet. Please enjoy the feast.
7. Lift
Lift: Mmmm....4. Lift: A solid 6! Lift: Perhaps a 5, but ONLY because of those pants. Lift: Wow! An 8! Wyndle: P-Please mistress, I don't think the job of the King's Wit is to rank the butts of all attendees! Lift: They need to know.
8. Jasnah
Hapless Lighteyed Guest: Ugh, I don't think it's right for the king to employ a heretic as his Wit! Jasnah: It's strange--one might think that your faith in the Almighty would inspire you to strive to be a good man, yet in reality your mother weeps each and every night to have produced a son who loves drinking and gambling more than he loves his children, his wife, or indeed the Almighty. Jasnah: Should you wish to inspire faith in others, perhaps you should try to demonstrate even the smallest reason why yours has produced an iota of good for anyone in this world aside from yourself. Elhokar (across the room, watching): I...am afraid.
9. Lopen
Lopen: Hey, I know you! I got a cousin in your army! Lopen: He always laughs 'bout how weird it is that your officers make the men pay for their own boots 'n' stuff 'cause it's an army not a charity, right? But then your officer son gets an allowance which is funny 'cause that kinda seems like the 'charity' thing that an army isn't! Lopen: We Herdazians tend to use a word to mean a thing, yeah? But you Alethi sure like to make a word mean whatever it is you want!
10. Szeth & Nightblood
Nightblood: Evil. Evil. Evil. Definitely evil. Big evil! Little evil, but still evil. Szeth: You've identified every guest so far as evil, sword-nimi. Nightbood: Yeah, I'm so good at detecting evil! So when does the slaying start? Szeth: I told you. I don't murder entire parties anymore. That is my past, but it does not have to be my future. Nightblood: But you're the King's Wit! You got wit-tle down the evil, right? Szeth: That is not what that means, sword-nimi. Nightblood: ... Szeth: ... Nightblood: People sure do speed up when they have to walk past us, huh? Szeth: I am pretty sure that means we're doing a good job.
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jamiepaige · 13 days ago
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Constant Companions Closeup #5: CADMIUM COLORS
youtube
(also on bandcamp and spotify!)
Once again, welcome back to the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Last time, I wrote a whole diatribe about my OCs while talking about I Wish That I Could Fall, and today, we're eating paint! Cadmium Colors featuring Soneji of Project Mikan!
Consider this a content warning: this post will discuss the pandemic, struggles with mental health, and suicidal ideation/attempts. I'm hoping it'll ultimately be uplifting, but the discussions at hand are incredibly heavy, and it wouldn't do this song right to be vague. Please be warned.
---
Let's talk about COVID.
At the beginning of 2020, I was in the midst of a long-term break from making music. It wasn't completely cold turkey, and I might not have even called it a break if you'd asked me at the time, but things were dire. I was still dealing with the burnout I'd sustained from the making of Autumn Every Day; I'd had my ego bruised by a live performance at a house party that went so hilariously bad it'd hurt even the most stoic performers (imagine watching an entire packed room of people clear out in 5 minutes flat from the already hyper-exposed vantage point of being on stage in front of them and knowing you single-handedly caused that lol); I had just moved across the country, and was preoccupied with trying to make ends meet as a 22 year old dealing with pure adulthood for the first time.
I was working a shitty minimum wage job at a discount clothing store I will not be naming, slogging through late-night shifts that wouldn't get me home until 3 am some nights. I had friends and roommates, but they were all just as overworked and exhausted and dealing with their own shit as me. I was mentally ill and unmedicated. Suicidal ideation was rearing its ugly head at my lowest moments.
Then, as I turned 23, a global pandemic shut the world down, my grandpa died with me being unable to attend his funeral, and I had a catastrophic mental breakdown that suddenly turned the voices in my head into a deafening cacophony of self-inflicted malice.
In hindsight, I think being 23 kinda just does that to you
---
Fast forward to 2021. I was back at my retail job with the pandemic raging in full force, my sense of self was held together with duct tape, positive self-talk essentially didn't exist for me, and I was the loneliest and lowest I had ever been. I was working the fewest hours I could get away with, and still, almost all spare time I had was taken up either by work or by my recovery from it.
This was around the time I got an email from Crypton, of all places - the people that make Hatsune Miku, for anyone uninformed. They wanted a remix of the song Happy Synthesizer for a Digital Stars compilation. I could not for the life of me tell you how I lucked into this or why they reached out to me of all people, but they did, and I was deathly determined to prove myself worthy of it.
This was August of 2021. I was staring down the barrel, languishing in what felt like only half of a life, fantasizing about death and trying to twist my thoughts into something that could at least keep me blearily shuffling forward another couple days. It was untenable.
(I'd also recently been diagnosed with OSDD 1b - this is a whole can of worms I can't really open until we talk about Breeze Blows, but it's important to at least mention that coping with this was a significant part of this turnaround.)
It's melodramatic, but I had only two options - make things again, or die.
I finished that remix within 24 hours of getting the stems, and I will gladly toot my own horn about it - it's really fucking good, in my opinion. Bittersweet ended up coming together in a mad dash over the next couple months as well. I was making music again.
Even though I was exponentially busier, things paradoxically got easier. I made the creative process a priority in my life, and not only did it give me an outlet for everything that had otherwise been eating away at my soul, but it struck a chord with other people who had been struggling as well. Things just... started getting brighter.
So I kept making music and living and yadda yadda blah blah here I am. This is all a lot of words and very personal stories of mental health struggles to say this:
One: The line between being an artist and being one of countless people forced to work jobs that go nowhere, that put their life at risk, that force them to strip parts of themselves away - it is a faint and transparent line built on circumstances of class and privilege and luck. Making Art and being an Artist aren't magical elevated states of existence, but something anyone is capable of if given the space to nurture their creativity. I believe the world should be a place where any person can do this.
Two: It's easy to convince yourself that art is meaningless in the face of the world at large. And yes, revolutions aren't fought by poetry and paintings, and people aren't fed through songs. But art is a source and a medium for connection; Art is how we find beauty in a disorganized and entropic world; Art is what we come home to and what words we write and pictures we paint and songs we sing to remind us that people matter to us and love is real and life is worth fucking living. Maybe that's corny and stupid, but it's true.
Three: So help me God, I will never work retail again in my entire life.
---
This is another song that is heavily inspired by artists like Prefab Sprout, Peter Gabriel, Kate Bush, and other artists of that ilk - very 80s, very flowery and sentimental lyricism, focused on telling a story. I greatly admire songs that aren't afraid to paint otherwise banal or ordinary scenes in abstract reverence!! I wanted the verses to contrast heavily with each other in that way, with verse one's relentless poeticisms (prosaic practice of depravity) and idioms turned on their head (suspending innocents above their disbelief) against verse two's incredibly straightforward depiction of a factory worker's circumstances.
The flowery language might have worked against me somewhat, though! I've seen a lot of folks that thought the ending was darker or much more defeatist than I intended, and while some of that is just inevitable with a work of art, I want to be clear.
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Translator's note: this means "don't kill yourself, you idiot"!!
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As you may have picked up from the previous post in this series, this song does heavily feature a leitmotif or two predominantly performed under pudgy pretenses. I'm not going to go on that whole novella-length spiel again, but rest assured knowing that this song, too, is one that makes me think about my OCs. Since it's something many people missed, however, I will take a moment to point out that this song quotes none other than Autumn Every Day off of my album of the same name!
Painting and visual art have been something of a reoccurring obsession of mine in my own art. I grew up around visual artists, have always been friends with many visual artists, and generally have a really intense love of it as a medium and a mode of expression. However, there's also always been a sense of... well, I don't want to call it jealousy, but it's jealousy. I've tried many times to start making visual art of my own, and I have made some things, but it's been a struggle, and I worry sometimes that my eye has permanently outstripped my ability.
However, in my quest to toss out grand expectations and simply have fun making art, I did recently pick up a cheap little drawing tablet! I'm excited to be a beginner at something artistic again...
Finally, I want to thank a couple people: Soneji of Project Mikan for the gorgeous, soaring saxophone solo; friend_xp for the mindboggling MV editing; and especially my good friend Que for the GORGEOUS painterly art that goes along with this song! Que's style was just perfect for this, and really tied the whole thing together immaculately!! There's no joke or deeper lore or anything I just fucking love Que's art go follow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And with that, I think this post is complete!! If you have anything else you wanna know about, ask away in the replies! Tomorrow will be Breeze Blows with Marcy Nabors and Marlow Jacobs!!!
MAKE ART AND BE GAY
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raya-hunter01 · 6 months ago
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Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 6
Roman X OC(Kara)
Jey Uso X OC (Tia)
Rating: 18+
Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy
Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.
What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?
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Six Months Later
Pensacola, Fl
Roman's House
That’s it….Ten years and it’s over just by signing some papers," I said as my mom sat beside me while I looked at a copy of the divorce papers.
“Roman, you messed up and what you did was unforgivable. This is all that should matter to you right now,” my mother said placing Logan in my arms as I sat her on my lap.
Her little smile as she put her tiny fist in her mouth made my heart smile.
 “I know princess, granny needs to hurry up your bottle, don’t she?” I said chuckling as she laughed at the sounds coming out of her mouth as I gently bounced her on my lap.
“Granny only got two hands and she’s coming.”
“I’m just kidding Ma, I’m happy you here and don’t know what I’d do without you and Ma Rebecca. I just hoped that Kara and I could have work things out, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“Son, I’mma need you to snap outta this because this little girl needs her father, and she needs you focused on her. She already ain’t got a damn mama if we keeping it real,” my mom said cutting me deep with her words, but it was true.
I had got Tia transferred to Raw to get her outta my hair, which has been a godsend. She sees Logan whenever the mood hits or she needs something. She still won’t sign over her rights…
“I am focused on her. I’ve gotten my schedule lighter. She going to start traveling with me..I got that part mama; I just need Kara now.”
“Roman! Kara is not going to help you raise a baby that is not only a reminder that you betrayed her, but its mother is her sister! Now you starting to scare me with your delusion. It’s over son and you set this all in motion…
"Mama, I know-"
"Deal with it and figure out a way to get that fool to sign over her rights. Hell, call your lawyer back and tell him you want to go for full custody and don’t give her no money,” she said, giving me Logan's bottle before leaving the room without another word.
“I guess it’s just us, huh, baby girl?” I asked feeding her as she gripped my hand greedily sucking her bottle
Taking my mother’s advice, after feeding Loogan and burping her, I quickly shot my lawyer a text to go ahead with getting Tia served.
Hopefully, he could get it done today before she leaves out for Raw later on today.
After laying Logan down I went on Instagram and saw Jey had posted a live and had pinned it to his page. Being nosey, I clicked on it and instantly wished I didn’t.
Jey was filming the highway, the road almost seemed deserted the Boston skyline in view. I knew it well from the few times I had visited Kara.
As I was about to get off, I heard a familiar laugh as Piece of my love by Guy began playing in the background.
“It's 5 am, we out here Boston! What ya’ll know bout ridin’ round the city, listening to dat good old school music, just vibin’ wit yo’ people,” he said turning the camera on Kara who was driving and dancing in her seat.
“You can have a piece of my love,” she softly sang shooting Jey a quick glance with a smile when she saw he was recording her.  
“It’s waiting for you,” Jey said slyly finishing the lyric without missing a beat as Kara laughed and turned her attention back to the road shaking her head.  
“You ain’t ready for this Mr. Fatu,” Kara muttered under her breath as I growled.
“A’ight now, you know I stay ready,” he said chuckling, turning around showing Trin asleep with her head in Jimmy’s lap. “What’s up ya’ll,” Jimmy said nodding his head to the music.
Damn, I kinda miss the days of my cousins and I traveling and just vibin' without a care. It made the time go by and if I’m honest I missed them all.
“We’re almost there,” I heard Kara say as Jey flipped the camera to show his face. “A’ight, we out ya’ll, we gettin' ready to turn it in. Been a long ass flight, and we bout to all get some sleep,” he said abruptly ending the live.
“Motherfucker,” I whispered trying not to disturb Logan as she slept.
He just won’t give up, what right did he have even being in the car with her? A car I paid for…Sleeping in the house I’m paid for…
Damn, why couldn’t he stay away from her?
---
Kara’s Condo
Boston, MA
Kara’s Pov
“Jey, if you ask me one more time if I really want to come tonight I’mma slap the fuck outta you,” I said as he held his hands up in surrender.
“Aye, I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I know Tia gon’ be there,” he said as I shook my head.
“I’m going to watch your Raw debut, I ain’t worried about Tia and whatever drama she got going on,” I said reassuring him as he gave me a hug.
“I’ll see you later,” he whispered giving me a kiss on the cheek
“Ya’ll drive safe, I’ll see you in a bit,” I said as he picked up his bag, heading for the door.
“Sis, you comin’ right?” he asked as Trin smiled.
“Yes, I wouldn’t miss it. I’ll ride with Kara over there,” she said as he gave her a thumbs up before leaving.
“He’s such a goof, should have seen him in the car rental place,” Trin said as I laughed pouring us a glass of wine.
“Trin, he means well, don’t do him like that,” I said as she chuckled.
“I know he does and look at you defending your man.”
“He isn’t my man Trin.”
“You know I can’t wait for ya’ll to finally get together. Especially since you’ve already test drove the merchandise.” Trin said as I coughed, almost spitting out my wine as she laughed.
“I can’t believe you,” I coughed as she shrugged her shoulders.
“Aye, just calling it like I see it. You were riding him like you were at the rodeo weren’t you?”
“It was good too…Ugh, see, I hate I even told you. Now I’m thinking about it,” I laughed as Trin sipped on her wine unbothered.
“I’m just sayin’ if you need that itch scratched, Jey’s a willing participant.”
“Trin, in all seriousness though, I’m just trying to focus on getting back to me right now. I got a lot of shit to process before I even think about being somebody’s girlfriend.”
“I get it, you don’t want to take that energy and resentment into a new relationship,” Trin said as sighed in relief, someone finally got what I had been trying to say.
“Speaking of Roman, these the divorce papers, huh,” Trin said picking up the stack of papers off the table.
“Yep, it’s a done deal. I can breathe now,” I said sitting next to her and sipping on my glass of wine.
Roman and I went through therapy as suggested by our lawyers. It was terrible but I made it through. Roman was upset that I still wanted to go through with the divorce, but he didn’t contest it anymore.
“I can’t believe he sent you flowers,” Trin said reaching over to look at the note that was attached to the bouquet of red and white roses.
“Thank you for trying, I know I didn’t deserve it. Just know I will always love you and I’m always here. Maybe we can be friends someday -Roman.”
“Damn……Do you think you’ll ever forgive him?” Trin asked as I sighed putting down my glass.
“I think I forgave him the moment he broke down and cried in therapy about what happened. The more he talked, the more I realized at first, he was a victim in Tia’s game.”
“I can see that, but what about after the first time?”
“That’s where he has to take accountability, he made some choices that he’s going to have to deal with the consequences of and it’s no longer my problem,” I said as Trin nodded in understanding.
“Now…Tia on the other hand, I’m avoiding that bitch like the plague tonight. I don’t want to go to jail,” I said as Trin laughed.
“I feel you cause even though I got bail money you too cute for jail,” she said as I held up my glass and we toasted.
“Here’s to Jey and a night of celebration,” I said honestly happy for the first time in a long time.
I was going to see Jey tonight and for tonight none of the drama with Tia mattered. This was about Jey and his new beginnings as a singles wrestler.
-----
Monday Night Raw
Jey’s POV
“Man, I can’t believe I’m here,” I said nervously pacing as Jimmy shook his head at me.
“Aye, calm down and enjoy this moment. You gon’ be fine,” he said as I saw Tia coming over.
“Ah hell,” I whispered as Jimmy turned around chuckled. “You already know she gon’ try you.” Jimmy whispered as I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Man, I ain’t got time for this shit,” I whispered as Tia smiled walking past Jimmy as if he wasn’t there. “Well hello to you too, Tia,” he said as she shot him a sly smile before turning back to me.
“Hey, Jey long time no see,” she said with a flirty smile.
“You just really have you no shame,” Jimmy asked as she rolled her eyes at him.
“I’m just talking to him, no harm in that,” she whispered as I looked at her in disbelief.
“Jimmy, give us a minute, Uce,” I said as he got up and left us alone.
“Jey, I just thought since you’re going to be on the Raw brand we could catch up some time,” Tia said as I looked at her like she was crazy.
“Uh, I don’t even like you like that,” I said as she walked closer.
“I’m just trying to welcome you to Raw, I know it gets lonely on the road. Maybe we could reconnect and make some magic happen,” she said touching my chest as I backed away.
“Tia, I think you need help…Like mental help, your obsession with Kara and the people she loves ain’t normal,” I said trying to wrap my brain around how crazy she was.
“I’m not worried about her, I know I’m the better woman and you know it too,” she said trying to put my arms around her as I backed away with my hands in the air.
“Look, don’t ever try me like dat ever again. You know I love Kara and unlike Roman I’m hip to your bullshit. Stay away from me and Kara,” I said as she frowned.
“Kara don’t love you, if she did, ya’ll would have been together years ago,” Tia said spitefully with a smirk.
“Tia tend to your own business, and be a mom to your child. You know the one who hasn’t heard from you in months while you parade on this show and in the streets like a cat in heat,” I said as the smirk fell from her face.
“I have settled that with her father and it’s none of your concern. Still, Kara’s lap log I see,” Tia said as I chuckled.
“Still jealous of your sister, I see,” I said as she slapped me.
“Tia…… Get some help,” I said taking myself out of the situation and walking away from her. “Jey! I’ll see you soon, the road gets lonely!” she yelled as I kept walking.
I needed to get ready for the show and I didn’t have time for her craziness.
“Hey, what was all of that Jey?” Tom, who was one of the higher ups asked, stopping me before I got to my dressing room.
Great, the last thing I needed was him taking this back to Paul causing an issue. I just got here and didn’t need no drama.
“Uh, just some personal stuff, but I took care of it,” I said as he nodded. “Well, that was really unprofessional how she was acting. That was sexual harassment.”
“Look, I gotta get ready for the show. It’s all good Uce, I took care of it” I said trying to get him to drop the subject, but I knew by the look on his face it wasn’t going to be the last I heard about it.
---
Monday Night Raw
Kara’s POV
“Mom, you don’t have to throw me a party,” I said as Trin, and I pulled into the building.
“Sweetie, you got accepted back into medical school. We are celebrating and that’s final,” she said as Trin smiled.
“You know we game for barbecue, yo’ daddy can throw down. I’ll get Jimmy to do that Samoan dish you like too,” Trin added.
“The one with the pineapple chicken?” I asked as Trin nodded… “Oh, I’m there,” I said as Trin, and my mom laughed.
“Thanks for the reinforcements Trin. Sweetie, Logan will be here on Friday, but if you’re uncomfortable Janice can get her,” my mom said as I sighed.
“Mama, I will be fine. I know it’s your weekend to have Logan I wouldn’t do that,” I said as the line got quiet.
“I don’t want you to be overwhelmed baby,” my mom said as I gave Trin a small smile.
“It’s ok mom, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
“Enjoy the show baby, and I’ll see you Thursday, love you.”
“Love you too mom,” I said, hanging up and taking a deep breath.
“You know it’s ok to not be ok,” Trin said as I parked the car.
“I’m ok…I just don’t see myself being heavily involved in Logan’s life. Does that make me a terrible person?” I asked as Trin looked at me with a sad smile.
“No, it makes you a person that has been hurt and your feelings are valid, but I also know you.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means if that baby needed anything you would make sure she had it,” Trin said as I bit my lower lip trying not to cry.
“I would, but I don’t see myself babysitting and doing all the other auntie stuff, it would be a constant reminder of everything,” I said as Trin nodded.
“Maybe as time passes you will feel different,” Trin said as we walked towards the talent entrance.
“I don’t think so Trin, even though she’s not to blame for what her parents did.” I said as Trin showed her ID and we got our passes from security.
“Well, let’s just enjoy tonight and worry about everything else later,” Trin said as we headed inside to get ready for the show.
“You won’t hear no complaints from me,” I said happy we could just go enjoy the show. No more Roman, Tia, or Logan talk.
------
Monday Night Raw
Jey’s POV
Man, the crowd is on fire and rocking, but it’s only one face I’m looking for right now and I can’t find her. Finally, after Sami left the ring, I spotted Kara in the third row wearing my hoodie.
Trin was beside her in a ball cap and her reading glasses, I had to give it to them they blended in well with the crowd. I’m glad too because the last thing I wanted was someone to take pictures of them and posting it online.
I can see the headlines now “Roman Reigns ex-wife attends Raw with TNA superstar Trinity.”
Getting out of the ring I signaled for Kara to head backstage as she nodded and whispered to Trin.
Once I saw them grab their things, I slowly made my way up the ramp. Everything was finally sinking in as the crowd continued to sing my music and I wanted to take it all in.
Tonight is something I will never forget, giving them one final wave I went backstage into gorilla and was met with a round of applause.
“Welcome to Raw Uce!” Cody said giving me a hug.
“Thanks, man I’m glad to be here, Uce,” I said looking around for Kara but didn’t see her. Where are they? I know they had their passes.
“Hey, don’t freak out, they made it back. Kara just didn’t want people in ya’ll business. Go down the hall and make a right, she’s there waiting for you,” Cody said as I smiled.
“Aye, good lookin’ out Uce,” I said shaking his hand before going to find Kara.
 Rounding the corner, there she was leaning up against the wall with her hands in her pockets.
“How did I do?” I asked as she looked at me with a smile, running towards me and jumping in my arms as I held her close.
“Amazing, I’m so proud of you,” she whispered against my ear as I sighed holding her tighter.
“Thank you for ridin’ wit me and believin’ in me.”
“E le aunoa ma le faavavau” she said as felt my heart swell.
“Always and forever,” I said as she looked at me with a shy smile.
Our moment was short lived as I saw Jimmy and Trin heading towards us. “Aye, that was awesome Uce,” Jimmy said as put Kara down and Trin came over to give me a hug.
“Alright now brother-in-law. That’s what I’m talking about.”
“Thanks, sis,” I said watching Kara as Jimmy put his arm around her as she welcomed his embrace, leaning her head against him.
 Releasing Trin from my embrace I saw a look of confusion pass Kara’s face for a second before she tried to play it off.
I looked over my shoulder and there in the corner hiding behind the curtain was Tia.
She was watching Kara like a hawk, almost envious. Something was wrong. Something wasn’t clicking in Tia’s head.
“She just won’t get the hint, huh?” Jimmy asked as I shook my head signaling for him to shut up.
“Get the hint about what?” Kara asked as I lightly pushed Jimmy.
“I handled it, why you even had to bring it up,” I hissed as he shook his head.
“Look at that fool over there staring at us, does it look like she understood what you said,” Jimmy countered as I sighed.
“I handled it, Uce.”
“Uh, can somebody tell us what’s going on?” Trin asked as Kara looked at me.
“Look, Tia came on to me, I shut it down, we exchanged some words and that was it,” I said as Kara chuckled, shaking her head at Trin, who seemed nervous.
“Now, remember what we talked about earlier Kara,” Trin said as Kara looked at her with a smile.
“Oh, I remember, I’m just gon’ go holla at her for a minute…. Excuse me,” Kara said walking towards Tia who was smirking.
“Kara it ain’t worth it,” I said as she walked up to Tia. “Hey sis, long time no see, it’s been about what…Six months,” Tia said with a smile.
Kara’s POV
“Yea, it has, and I see your still up to the same bullshit,” I said wanting to smack the smirk off her face.
“What? I just offered Jey a good time, the road can be stressful, especially on the man. You know that better than anyone right?” Tia asked as I chuckled at her lame attempt to rile me up.
“You should know by now offering your services to taken men never works out in your favor though, does it? I mean you get so desperate you let men call you by their wives names while they fuck you.” I said not caring who knew at this point.
“Damn…You get down like that Tia?” Jimmy asked as Trin sighed. “Jurdy, I’ll fill you in later, be quiet," she whispered as Tia had the nerve to look embarrassed.
“He’ll come to me…They all come to-”
“Look, I’mma keep it short and sweet because I don’t have time for your games.”
“Oou lil sis is hot because she knows if I want Jey, I could take him.” Tia said as I chuckled as I felt Jey behind me.
 “Keep your distance, Tia,” I said as she rolled her eyes.
“Oh, please,” she muttered as I felt the urge to knock her ass out.
 “Tia! Come near him again, and that last ass whoopin’ I gave you will feel like a walk in the park…Try me.” I hissed as Jey gently grabbed my hand unclenching my fist.
“Kara, let’s go” Jey said as I refused to move. “I look forward to it,” Tia taunted as Jey shook his head trying to put a little distance between me and Tia.
“Man, gon’ wit dat bullshit, Tia. You done did enough now,” Jey said as I stepped into her space as she nervously bit her lip.
“I’mma stomp yo’ ass in the ground, keep coming at me like you crazy.”
“Aye, Tia, I know you a couple chocolate chips short of a cookie, but you better find you something safe to do. That ain’t the move baby girl,” Jimmy said as Tia growled.
“I hate you bitch!”
“Hate….Nah, you love me….Love me so much you wanna be me and apparently want every dick that’s ever been inside me too,” I said casually as Jey cleared his throat putting his arm around my waist trying to hold me back.
“Been inside you! Twin, you done hit the homie and ain’t said shit!” Jimmy exclaimed as Trin sighed.
 “Jurdy, read the room, keep up, and shut the hell up,” she said as Jimmy got quiet.
“You nasty bitch!” Tia shouted as I smirked at her. “Nah, that would be you and your sour-ass pussy,” I said, as Jey pulled me close steering me away from Tia.
“A’ight, let’s go ma. We need to talk,” Jey said as I looked back at Tia as a stagehand approached her.
“Tia, bossman wants to see you,” he said as Tia plastered on a smile following him.
“I’ll see you soon Jey,” she laughed as I tried to get out of Jey’s embrace.
“Fuckin’ parasite,” I hissed as Jey pulled me into his locker room, locking the door behind us.
“Are you done?” he asked as I rolled my eyes irritated as hell.
“No…..She always is up to something, I just don’t understand,” I said as Jey took off his black jacket, tossing it on the couch.
Damn, he looked fine as hell…Focus Kara, you're mad right now.
“Don’t let it bother you, the stuff she doin’, it don’t even matter.”
“What do you mean it don’t matter? “I asked as a look of determination adorned his handsome face as he slowly came towards me, almost like a lion stalking its prey.
“You ain’t slick, you know what you be doing wit ya chest and tattoos all out,” I said as he laughed. “I'm serious, you can stay over there, sir.”  His smile making it hard for me to stay angry.
“I ain’t doin’ nothing,” he whispered closing the distance between us as I tried to remain strong.
 “Yes, you are, Jey,” I whispered, feeling like my heart race as he caressed my face with his hands. Closing my eyes, I felt the tension leaving my body simply from his touch.
“I’mma need you to realize something important,” he said as I melted even further into his touch.
“What do I need to realize?” I asked, his lips dangerously close to mine. “I only want you; I’ve always only wanted you,” he whispered our lips meeting in a searing kiss.
It had been six months since the last time our lips touched and the
Feeling lightheaded I clung to him as our tongues fought for dominance, with Jey winning in the end as I whimpered in need.
He had me Feenin’ for more as we reluctantly parted to catch our breaths.
“Kara, you ain’t gotta worry about Tia, I ain’t Roman. I ain’t jeopardizing being with you for nobody,” Jey said reassuring me as I nodded.
I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that until now.
“Jey, I don’t want you to feel obligated to do all this. Visting me every week, being there-” I started as he cut me off with a gentle kiss.
“When you’re ready, I’m ready. I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” he whispered wiping my tears I didn’t even know had fallen.
“You ain’t gotta cry no more, I got you….Until my last breath, I got you.”
“I know,” I whispered leaning against his chest enjoying being wrapped up in his arms.
Damn her..Damn me for allowing Tia to rile me up. I was making strides, but everything still had me fucked up.
Damn Tia and Roman for that matter….
“Do you want to go out with us to eat?” Jey asked as I chuckled looking at him. “Nah, ya’ll can go eat, I got to finish an assignment. Someone had me chauffeuring them around this morning before daylight, even had to take them at a rental this afternoon,” I joked as he laughed.
“Aye, we said thank you. But real talk, tomorrow I wanna take you out and spend some time wit you before we leave out on Wednesday,” he said as I smiled, actually looking forward to it.
“I’mma hold you to that,” I whispered, ignoring my vibrating phone in my back pocket.
-----
Kara’s Condo
Roman’s POV
“Pick up the phone Kara,” I muttered dialing her once again as it goes to voicemail.
“It’s your girl Kara, I’m busy so leave your message at the beep and I’ll get back with you.”
“Kara, just please call me back..I..I need to see you.”
Ending the call, I dialed her right back but this time it went straight to voicemail.
“Did you just ignore my call? Are you with him?…..You are…. Your with Jey ain’t you? Is he kissin on you?......Is he holdin’ you like I used too, dickin’ you down like me. Hmm….Hmm…..Answer the damn phone Kara!” I yelled, hanging up trying to calm myself down.
I tried to wait, but she playin’…Pulling out my spare key to her condo I let myself in.
Did she know I had a key? No…. But that is beside the point.
I felt resentful as I took in how she had the house decorated so welcoming.
“My beautiful family tree,” I muttered reading the letters above the painted tree on the wall of the living room. Pictures of her parents, her brother, even pictures of her and Jey throughout the years. Hell, Jimmy and Trin made the family tree wall.
“I can’t believe this shit,” I hissed, walking into Kara’s bedroom, getting even more pissed seeing Jey’s bag beside her bed.
“In my fucking house,” I muttered looking around the room.
That live from Jey rattled me so much this morning, I charted my jet this evening and flew straight here.
He really been in here, layin’ in this bed with Kara…My Kara…. I don’t give a damn what no divorce papers say…She’s still mine.
I needed to know how deep this shit was getting between Kara and Jey and I needed to know now.
Fucking him one time to get back at me is one thing but actually being in a relationship with him is taking shit too far.
 Hearing the door open, I sat in the chair by the bed. I didn’t care who was with her, we were going to talk.
“I’m fine Jey, I just got inside,” she said as I snarled. “I’m going to shower and finish up my assignment. Just bring me back a fry and a ginger ale. I’m not that hungry, it’s late.”
“Really? Oh, he just Mr. perfect, huh. Doin’ late night ginger ale runs,” I seethed quietly hearing the happiness in Kara’s voice.
“Ok I’ll see ya’ll in a few,” she said, ending the call as I heard her moving around the hall.
“That man,” I heard her sigh as I felt the jealousy within me burning deep.
I had to stifle a groan as she opened the door and I saw she had taken off her shirt. “What tha shit!” Kara screamed, covering herself with her shirt as I stood up.
“Kara, where you been?” I asked as she looked at me in confusion. Almost like she thought she was hallucinating.
“What the hell are you doing in my house Roman?!” Kara yelled turning on the light.
“I wanted to see how your little visit with my cousin was goin’ but you ain’t answered my question. Where you been, because Raw ended about two hours ago?” I asked, walking towards Kara as she put her shirt back on.
“First of all, who da fuck do you think you are! We’re divorced, where I am and who I’m with is none of your damn concern. Now how did you get in here?!” Kara yelled pissed off as I scoffed.
“I had this made before the landlord gave you the keys. I mean did you really think, I was gon’ let you be out here and not check in on you.” I said as she reached for the keys, but I put it back in my pocket.
Kara’s POV
“This ain’t checkin’ in, this is stalking. You shouldn’t be here at all! Give me the keys Roman!” I yelled, still in shock I had found him in my bedroom, sitting in here like a fuckin’ serial killer.
“Have you slept with Jey since that night?” Roman asked as I looked at him like he was crazy.
“That is none of your business, give me the key, Roman!” I yelled as he ignored me.
“Not until you tell me, then I’ll give it to you.”
“Have you been drinking?” I asked, smelling the alcohol on his breath as he came a little closer.
“I ain’t drunk, I am in control Kara. I got this shit, I only had a brandy on the plane.”
“I can’t tell you flew from Pensacola to Boston to ask if I’m fucking your cousin,” I said as he rolled his eyes.
“Are you fuckin’ him, it’s a simple question?!” Roman yelled as I sighed rubbing my temples.
“Answer me, Kara.”
“Do you see a ring on my finger..No you don’t because I am single. You made sure I became single when you stuck your dick in my sister and got her pregnant!” I screamed as Roman came even closer.
“Are you fucking Jey? It’s either yes or no Kara.”
“It’s none of your business, just give me the keys and leave Roman.”
“Just answer the question, Kara!” Roman screamed as I looked at him like he was crazy.
“Roman, I’mma need you to calm do-”
“I have tried and tried to get back together wit you and this is the thanks I get!  You out here with him in MY HOUSE that I’M PAYIN’ for!” Roman ranted as something inside me flipped.
“It’s MY HOUSE and I don’t owe you shit! Get out!.....Now Roman!”
His arrogant stance as he refused to move pissed me off even more. He really thinks he can control me..
“I ain’t leavin’ till you answer me,” he said as I nodded in understanding.
“Ok, I see I’mma have to remind you with who you dealin’ wit,” I said leaving the room.
“Where you goin’ Kara, I aint done talkin’ to you,” Roman said walking behind me as I went into the kitchen.
“I told you to get out, but you trippin’. You trippin’ hard but let me help you out, let me get on your level,” I said reaching in the drawer pulling out my large chef’s knife as Roman growled in frustration, but backed up a little.
“Really, so you gon’ stab me Kara?” he asked as I pointed the knife in his direction.
“Roman I promise you, we gon’ be on an episode of The First 48 if you don’t leave the keys and get outta my damn house!” I screamed as he sighed, reaching in his pocket putting the keys on the counter.
“Kara, we need to talk about Je-”
“I don’t want to talk to you…I want you out!” I cried as Roman sighed, turning around to leave. A wave of relief washing over me as I heard the door close.
Trying to control my tears I tried to take a few deep breaths as I looked at the keys on the counter.
He really had keys made to my house and came in here trying to tell me what to do.
Another reason I didn’t want his money everyone was advising me to take. He thinks he owns me.
“Definitely getting the locks changed,” I whispered heading to lock the front door, stumbling back in shock seeing Roman with his hands up in the air being held at gunpoint by Tia.
“Oh, hey sis, come on in and join the party, I mean you are the guest of honor after all,” Tia said as Roman looked back at me. His remorseful gaze pierced my soul as she smiled, pointing the gun at me.
"Oh, my God."
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shima-draws · 1 year ago
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Tell us about the AU! I know you want to!!
WAUGHHH. AGHHH. OKAY. OKAY SO. I've been watching one of my favorite content creators play through the DLC. Early on in the playthrough he was tossing around theories and said "Maybe KIERAN is Ogerpon??" and that gave me a BRILLIANT THOUGHT.
Ogerpon Kieran AU.......
I've already thought of a very long and complex backstory for this LOL but to simplify it. Before the ogre and its human companion came to Kitakami, said companion was actually living a very happy life with his child. However, they were caught up in the midst of a great war that ended up taking the child's life. The man was so overcome with grief that it summoned a great being (I'm thinking Xerneas), who blessed his dead child with new life. And that child was reborn as Ogerpon!! So kinda like how children who get lost in the woods and die are reborn as Phantump.
Fast forward to many many years later. A long chain of events leads to Carmine's grandfather's...father (so, her great-grandpa?) meeting Ogerpon and vowing to make it a new mask, a mystical and powerful mask that could grant wishes. Sadly, Carmine's great-grandpa wasn't able to complete the mask before he died. This project was eventually picked up by Carmine's father (and I have a whole other thing about him but I'm not gonna get into it right now lol). Carmine's father forms a very close bond with Ogerpon as he continues to gather materials to finish the wish mask. He expresses his desire for Ogerpon to finally be able to walk among the villagers with its name cleared, and for Ogerpon to meet his only daughter. He leaves for a journey to find the last material for the mask...and never returns 😔
Carmine's grandfather has a whole complex about the wish mask, but after seeing both his father and his son dedicate so much time and care into completing it, he takes the last material, imbued with the hopes and dreams of his family, and finally finishes the mask. When he presents it to Ogerpon, Ogerpon dons the mask and its wish is granted...it becomes human :") So it becomes Kieran, basically!! Kieran's wish was to be able to say thank you to all of the generations of mask makers that had helped him, and. To be part of their family 🥺 What he doesn't know is that his wish to be human stems from the fact that he already was human, once. But he doesn't remember his life before he was reborn as a Pokemon.
So, Carmine's grandfather happily accepts Kieran and his desire, and takes him home to live with him and Carmine. Note that Kieran is probably around 5-6 at the time, so he's BABY. And Carmine is only about a year or two older. She isn't sure what to think about suddenly getting a new brother, but she's happy to have someone to boss around lmao.
And once a year, during the festival of masks, Kieran lets his facade fall and wanders around as Ogerpon again. Just to keep in touch with his roots haha
So obviously with Kieran being Ogerpon the events of the DLC will play out differently than canon. Kieran slyly compliments the ogre in front of the player and mentions that maybe it's just misunderstood. He's been trying for a while to change the villagers' minds about what happened to him and the Loyal Three all those years ago, but it hasn't been going...too well lol. So when the player shows up, and things start to shift, Kieran gets really excited bc he realizes he finally might be able to clear his name :")
Is this AU silly and dumb as hell? Yes. Does it not really make sense with canon and is full of plot holes? Yes. Am I brainrotting over it anyway? Also yes.
Take a little edit I did of Kieran's official art to fit what I had in mind for the AU ;) I wanted to draw it but I'm at work rn lmao RIP
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ALSO LITTLE DOODLE OF THE BOY
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ALSO bc of Ogerpon's original gender Kieran probably goes by he/they pronouns in the AU
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okay disjointed thoughts about the wicked movie 1 day after watching it lets go
-first of all, my movie theater put speakers outside and was just blasting the entire soundtrack on repeat. we could hear it down the street as we were driving up. that's just simply insane
-the opening establishing shots of the land were great but honestly. the very clearly animated dorothy and gang really annoyed me lmfao like I'm sorry it cannot have possibly been too hard to get a few extras to stand in front of a screen for point 5 seconds lol. it was so fast that I Know I'm being dramatic about it but they looked more cartoon than the flying monkey's did
-baby elphie and baby nessa are the cutest things I've ever seen in my life...
-I kinda...like the more human/animal hybrids that the stage show and the original movie had. sorry. like I Get they were only like that bc you can't make a real life goat sing and dance but they're just more interesting to look at than normal-looking animals who happen to talk!
-jeff goldblum's face being hidden every time he had a dance number...I have a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't really dancing lmfao
-whoever decided to bleach ariana's eyebrows deserves jail time
-when jonathan bailey first showed up on screen my mother leaned over to me and whispered 'he's HANDSOME...'
-when cynthia finished the 'wizard and I' I had to actually stop myself from applauding. it felt so weird and rude for there to be dead silence after that performance my GOD.
-also omg the part where she's singing about the wizard de-green-ifying her and the colors in the suncatchers were canceling out the green so she looked normal....inspired!
-madame morrible had these HUGE crystal ball looking rings and I just want them so much lmao
-glinda's friends were really funny the bit were she was like 'I need to lie down' and they immediately picked her up like a plank of wood and carried her off while the one was screaming 'WE NEED A PASTRY!!! IT'S AN EMERGENCY WE NEED A PASTRY!!!' had me cackling
-I wish there was more time between them moving in and 'what is this feeling' starting? like I wanted more time to see them bickering and then also more time seeing them getting along after the ball??
-'dancing through life' was BEAUTIFUL however two complaints 1) why would they cut the line 'what's the most swankified place around?' I Quote That Often and 2) at the end when glinda and elphie dance together like...it's beautiful and everything but from what I remember after their solo moment fieryo joins them?? and they have a cute three way dance moment??? and I'm very pro "they're all in love with each other" so I missed that lol
-also just in general would of liked to see more of fieryo with the girls! like it felt like ball->lion cub->emerald city, in the course of a couple days, and idk I just feel like they could have slowed it down a bit?? especially since they broke it into two movies?? like I don't think that Actually all happened in the span of a week, but they didn't do a good enough job establishing how much time was passing so it Felt like it. which is dumb bc then it just doesn't seem realistic that elphie and glinda are THAT attached to each other by defying gravity like it feels like not enough time has passed for them to really know each other
-boq felt very mild tbh I know ethan can be more unhinged than that
-would've liked to see glinda in magic class!!
-I was a little underwhelmed by elphaba's costumes? like there were clearly patterns on the material but it was all the same shade of black so you couldn't make anything out. it felt a bit flat. and I love the idea behind the freckles I agree with freckles I am pro freckles HOWEVER her's looked very obviously drawn on. like, I have seen way more realistic fake freckles before. so that was a bit annoying
-other than the lunchmeat dress glinda's costumes were good! especially loved the flower shaped one she wore to the ball
-the whole trying to escape in the hot air ballon scene was cool as hell but as the flaming remains of it fell to the ground I couldn't help but be like wow...she really just killed all those guards huh!
-also lmfao the bit in the woods with the lion club and fieryo has like a scratch on his temple. genuinely thought to myself 'is that his lobotomy scar' lmfao
-still trying to get over the part in dancing through life where people were dancing on the spinning gears in the clock tower...bitch
-the flying monkeys were correctly horrifying
-when I saw the broomstick I was like 'won't that be really uncomfortable between your legs' but then she just held it next to her like they do in the stage show and I was like....okay I guess you win that one? lmfao like I don't mind it for when she's hovering but when they had her like supersonic zooming on the broom it was weird that she wasn't actually riding it
-overall I just don't understand how it's an adaptation of act 1 but it's the length of the entire stage show?? lmao like I wish they took advantage of the split and added so much more but really really it was still just such a solid great movie. 5 stars. I can't keep talking about it right now I'm gonna start screaming.
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kiriwiwii · 1 year ago
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// Hugging and kissing headcanons ☆ UNDEAD
a/n: wow hi i'm back after 5 months... sorry i've been cursed by writer's block and school work. but here i am, with something even worse than ever /hj. i might do this kiss and hug headcanons thingy with other units as well so feel free to request! also,, do NOT ask why rei's part is much more longer compared to others. sorry. that man is just different💔
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💫 rei sakuma
the way rei kisses... it just feels so ethereal. he holds your chin, moves your face closer to him... you can see his red eyes looking so emotionless yet so full of love and passion. when your lips meet, it's such a little time passing by, maybe seconds, but it feels like time stops all around you.
you wish it could stop, so you can feel his love forever and ever. but rei makes every single of his moves so unforgettable that it's already impossible for the taste of his lips to go away.
rei gently kisses your cheeks to greet you every time you meet together. or he loves to just puts his lips on your neck, slowly wandering around and giving you little licks or bites.
he's not always very gentle though. sometimes you may find him going tough on your lips, smooching your whole face or body. and maybe giving you some bite marks, hmm?
rei is the type of person who would just. surprise you by hugging you behind. he appears at times when you least expect him, and he loves the look on your face when he covers your whole body with his arms all of a sudden.
his body is cold, but his hugs feel warmer than anything. he enjoys hugging not just for seconds but actually a long time. you may find him sitting on a couch, inviting you only for him to wrap yourselves with a blanket and cuddle for hours.
there is no way of getting out of bed before rei wakes up because he hugs you soo tightly when you're sleeping together.
he is the big spoon but he would probably love being the little spoon as well. he tries not to show it but he loves it when someone else hugs him, especially you. he lays his head on your chest and while you're stroking his head or sweetly rubbing his cheeks, he slowly falls asleep in your arms. these are the times when he has the most peaceful naps ever.
remember the fact that this guy has a coffin? yeah. you're definitely getting in there. he loves the idea of cuddling together in his coffin- it's a bit hard for two people to fit in but that's even better for him since you are gonna be really close to each other.
💫 kaoru hakaze
kaoru kisses you in such a romantic way. he approaches you gently, kinda embarrassed at first, but that feeling disappears when he holds you so tightly and presses his lips against yours... his heart beating so hard you could almost hear it from being this close. you don't have to hear it though; you both know who that heart belongs to and whom it beats for anyway.
kaoru especially loves to kiss your hands. he has work to do and he needs to leave you early at that moment? he kindly takes your hand, kisses it softly and that's his way of saying goodbye.
he is so desperate for your love- whenever kaoru craves your affection, he just puts his head on your shoulder, holding you close. he loves to just chit-chat while doing this. you can tell him all about your day, and he would listen while he is snuggling into you.
💫 koga oogami
koga tries to act like he isn't fond of physical contact, but you can see the truth in the way his lips meet yours. you might hear a tiny whisper coming out of his mouth, "i love you" , if you are lucky enough~
koga enjoys kissing your nose, forehead or right near lips. you can see him blushing which makes him much cuter, so you can kiss him back and make him even more embarrassed. (i mean, cuter)
i feel like koga would be the type of hugger who kinda lifts you up. something happened and he got very excited? or you guys finally saw each other after a long time? he quickly runs and wraps his arms around you, squeezing so hard and just lifts you up and spins 🥹 adorable.
he usually just puts his arm around your shoulder, or holds your hand in public but you can make him do much more in private.
koga is such a cuddler, especially at nights! you may find him giving you lots of kisses and hugs when it's dark and you're both sleepy. you can just snuggle into him and have the best sleep ever while he hugs you soo tightly.
💫 adonis otogari
adonis' kisses are very gentle, very kind... he slightly holds your hands, pulls your hair back and slowly gives you a sweet kiss, making you fall in love with him again and again.
whenever he hugs you, your body and your mind get lost in his arms. adonis makes you feel safer than ever, loved more than ever.
he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable by touching you all the time, but if you desire it, he likes to gently kiss your hands or just hold them politely. whenever you feel upset, he asks, "would you like a hug?" if your answer is yes, then you can fall into his arms and feel his warmth all over your body. he won't let you go until all of your sadness vanishes away <3
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AITA for not wanting to be in my cousin's life? This will be long, I'm sorry
I (f19, but this started at 15) have a rough relationship with my family, I don't have a better word to describe them as besides just not the best towards me. But the real issue now is that I don't want to be involved in my cousin's (f8, but this started at 5) life. This sounds very silly, I know, but let me explain. My cousin is physical in how she expresses herself towards me (she likes to throw things at me and hit me and bite me, and I can't do anything about it because I get in trouble if I do). I have a severe nut allergy and there have been multiple times she's been caught trying to smear peanut butter on me or in my mouth while I slept. She likes to tell me she wishes I'd just eat the peanut butter so she'd never have to see me again. She just hates me, honestly (I'm not sure why, I've never hated the kid, I'm not mean to her, none of us have been able to figure out why and when asked she just says she hates me because she hates me)
The house we lived in contained just me, her, my mother, and my uncle. She is not abused by either adult, before anyone asks, she's actually quite spoiled due to the fact that they can't discipline her in any way without risking her being taken away. And I don't hate her at all, I'm bitter about how she treats me, but I know she's only a little kid. However, I just don't like being treated that way. I recently moved out and I told my mother that I didn't want to be part of my cousin's life until she stopped treating me that way. (Info: My mother thinks she treats me this way because she's a kid so she can't vent her anger out on the adults and I was the only other kid she could vent it out on.) My mother thinks I'm being cruel and punishing my cousin, she says I'll regret this choice and that my cousin will be all I have one day so I shouldn't do this. I've tried to explain that I'm not doing it to punish my cousin, it's just not good for my mental health and I can't be around this behaviour anymore. Other family members and family friends have agreed with my mother, but my friends think my decision is right. Since moving out and not going through that every day, I've started to feel better about myself, my depression isn't as bad and I don't have as much anxiety when I go to sleep. That is kinda swaying my decision to me thinking I'm right for choosing this for myself, but I still worry my mother might be right and I might be ruining my cousin's mental health by leaving.
I want to add that I know I'm way older than her, and some of you might be wondering why I don't stand up to her, but I could never do anything to stop her. I spent many years in foster care due to issues with my family (my mother, specifically), and I know that even the littlest thing where I live can get your kid taken from you. If I even raised my voice at her to tell her to stop and she told someone, she could be taken away from my family and I can't do that to her, I know the horrors of foster care. I also have spent most of my life being abused and don't know how to protect myself or defend myself in situations like these. Please keep this in mind when/if you call me pathetic or stupid, trust me I know I am.
Please, I know a lot of you may think this is silly or dumb or bait, but I need to know aita for not wanting to be in my cousin's life?
Reasons I think I might be NTA: I think my decision is good for both of us and I believe I should put mental health first in this case as it can be dangerous in the future if I don't. I don't want to stay longer and end up hating her, she's just a kid and doesn't deserve to be hated.
Reasons I think I might be TA: This could be seen as punishing her, and she might hate me more for it. She's already started being meaner to other kids now that she can't vent it out on me and I'm an adult so I can take it better than one of her classmates could. She might think her behaviour drove me away and blame herself.
What are these acronyms?
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wellcomeoneileen · 2 months ago
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Why does Randy Harrison deserve compensation? What happened to him? You can DM me if it's not okay to be public
Hey! No it’s totally okay.
⚠️disclaimer - I am a NEW fan and so I am NOT the most informed at all. Other people like @brian-kinney-apologist like really know shit. I initially found things bc watching S4 made me go oh there is bts shit going on for sure and googled, and then when I got on tumblr I saw a bunch of posts talking about it, too.
Lots of older sources are harder to find now bc they didn’t do a digital preservation or the website is expired, but here is what I’ve found, from heated Advocate articles whilst the show aired and then from more measured reflections from podcasts around 2016.
Randy was young and it was his first TV show - when he started he didn’t even have an agent, and really didn’t know what he was getting into. He had done sex scenes on stage and thought that he was pretty prepared for what was to come.
However, he has stated he ended up feeling pretty objectified, such as hearing “we need more shots of Justin’s ass” regularly or expressing a desire to not to go-go dancing type scenes (King of Babylon upset him) and then even more go-go dancing being added (S2 Sap scenes). He was also told to act less gay by casting directors for the show, and to “try to be more butch because Justin isn’t out of the closet”
The show pre-dates intimacy coordinators and there have been allusions, including from the actresses Thea and Michelle, that the sex scenes could be uncomfortable to film.
There was BTS clashing, with producer Tony Jones !!reportedly!!! Saying that Randy was a bitch to work with and “showrunners” “reportedly” saying they would never work with Randy again. There are two interview clips, one from when the show was airing, and one from 2016, when CowLip say they wanted all actors to be comfortable on set, and in BOTH clips , like 15 years apart, Randy kinda like laugh/roll his eyes and Gale looks at him very bemusedly. They had bigger reactions in the ~2003 clip.
He was openly pretty angry as the show went on. He told the Advocate that he would never be friends with or respect Justin if real. He disapproved of the Britin relationship. He said he had to fight to include the scene of Justin topping Brian, which was very important to him. Leading into season 5 he stated he hoped Justin was killed off by getting hit by a truck (obviously being glib, but like he was mad lol)
He has said that lots of scenes needed to be reshot because he struggled to do them so much, like the Cody sexy gun scene that made him so uncomfortable, and then either he or Gale said S5 sex scenes were reshot a lot because they just couldn’t stop laughing at that point anymore.
Peter and Scott recently have said the only time anyone asked for actors’ opinions was right after season 1 ended, and to ME they sounded kinda cheeky about it, all these years later, so perhaps it was a cast sticking point? Unsure, and it wasn’t even Randy who said that. Fat grain of salt.
He has more recently reflected on this time period and expressed regret he went out the way he did, and he understands things better and honors his craft more (heavy paraphrasing!) bc he was mentally checked out by the end and wishes he had finished strong instead.
Also, the cast didn’t realize when signing on how isolated they would be from The Industry. Randy has spoken about this in an unrelated podcast, as have the actors who play Ted and Emmett. NYC or LA are where you want to be for networking, and then signing on to spend the majority of the year in Toronto negatively impacted their careers, they feel. Randy has said he had to start from scratch after the show ended, and Peter and Scott have said Showtime had no idea how to market the show nor their stars, and so they had to just watch as all the initial hype fizzled and nothing was done with them. They were contracted to work too much to seriously be involved elsewhere, while simultaneously not getting good exposure, which I IMAGINE created a dire sort of mood and morale on set. < personal interpretation and fictionalizing history.
Meaning, Randy probably at the very least FELT like he had spent five years on a show that didn’t respect him and it was largely for nothing. He has since stated he appreciates the opportunity and it is the reason he was finically secure, for which he is deeply grateful.
And then finally the fans! He had stalker(s?) and tons of creepy people and was heavily typecast and people would come up to him frequently, which made him uncomfy, and would furthermore act like he was actually Justin, which made him super uncomfy. He was kinda like Chappell Roan!! He was like hey I’m not Justin I’m a person and y’all are freaks. He has publicially declined to speak on the stalking issues, which given his vocal responses to other issues, indicates to ME that it’s pretty personal and upsetting (I mean it’s stalking it’s obviously horrible but you know what I mean). During the show he had a boyfriend that fans like tormented online and even on posters (that bit comes from Tumblr or another forum, so not like verified info on my part at all) because they shipped “Gandy” so hard. I know I’ve read on tumblr about the insane Gandy people but all I remember is they were intense and insane and negatively impacted Randy’s actual real life. Again, that’s info from fans that I haven’t read in article or heard from out of his mouth. Secondary source lol.
This point is PURE speculation, but early interviews with the whole cast were super excited, and they all talked about how excited they were for something ground breaking. By the end, people were angry or giving fluff responses, or in Peter’s case; calmly stating the show was a soap opera and that’s okay. I FEEL like everyone thought they were signing up for something more real/gritty/positive impact to society and then were like oh I’m here to look hot in this show that only moms watch to get them turned on to have sex with their husband. Cool.
Now, do I agree with that - no. But, the show audience was vastly different than expected, and the artistic direction might have been too, both of which might have really disappointed people. Esp Randy and maybe Gale. Randy was a capital T theatre person, and Gale was too and had lots of experimental work and like performance art. Randy has ALSO expressed displeasure with some theater work he did because he didn’t think it was fresh and the audience was only older wealthy white people, so we do know that this sort of thing does matter to his sense of fulfillment at work.
TLDR; had to shoot scenes he didn’t want to, several times, felt objectified on set, disagreed with his character’s direction, maybe felt like he wasn’t being listened to artistically, was cut off from other work opportunities, didn’t appear to get along with leadership, had bad fans, was young and in deep over his head, and at the very least *started* with no career or social support system.
Again!! Am not the most knowledgeable person !!! I do NOT want to spread misinformation so hopefully I’ve tagged where I’m reading into things vs actual quotes but also people who have actually been around pls feel free to say 🙋um actuallllyyyyy
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mikerickson · 23 days ago
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I worked as a poll worker for the first time yesterday
After the primaries in the summer, our County recognized that they had a poll worker shortage leading into the election this year and started putting out advertisements to bring new people in. I realized that I didn't know literally a single person in my life that had been a poll worker before and that it was something I had always taken for granted. With this looming shortage however, I decided to step up and do my civic duty because why not? After a three hour in-person training session and a two hour online training session, I was ready to go.
More under the cut because honestly some of these interactions with voters are kinda depressing:
I had only signed up to do a half-day shift from 5:15 AM to 1:00 PM because I figured I'd be wiped out and exhausted if I did a whole day. Well turns out that my replacement who was supposed to take up the evening shift never showed up, so I ended up staying. I got to the polling location (a local high school) at 5:00 AM and left at 9:30 PM, effectively working a 16.5 hour day with only a 1 hour lunch break. I'll get a $300 check in two weeks, which, hey, beats jury duty!
By law our polling center was supposed to open to the public at 6:00 AM sharp, but we were scrambling and not ready yet when the vote-before-work crowd started banging on the door. Very stressful start to the morning and we immediately had a big line that didn't dwindle down until about 7:30 AM. I unironically wish I had gotten there even earlier.
Our polling location had four districts, and each district had four workers (two to man the check-in table, one to operate the voting booths and ballot scanners, and one to float/rotate out every so often). I was paired with a man and a woman both in their seventies and a woman maybe in her mid forties, but they were all clearly uncomfortable with technology. Two of the other districts were also staffed by old people who just gave up at the first sign of a problem with a touch screen or a printer jam. I'm talking just a complete lack of problem-solving capabilities. I ended up running triple duty checking people in, making sure voters were set up in their booths properly, and doing on-the-fly tech support and troubleshooting. It felt rewarding multitasking and hearing, "get Mike over here, he'll fix it" over and over, but I kinda wish I didn't have to?
We only had two voters make a scene over the course of the entire day. During the morning rush right after opening a woman raised her voice asking why there was a line and stressing out that she had to leave to go to work soon (she stuck it out in line and then bolted out of there). Later around lunch time a guy at one of the other districts' tables shouted something like, "oh, so my dad can vote here but I can't?" He stormed out in a pissy mood shortly after, but I never got the full story of what was going on there.
I had one man who had recently moved and hadn't updated his registration with the board of elections, so his address didn't match what was on file. I explained that he could still vote if he did a provisional ballot, which is basically like a mail-in ballot that you put in a special envelope and leave at the polling station instead of taking it to a drop-off box. Apparently that was a step too far and he just said, "forget it..." and left. Seemed odd to me that he 1) physically drove to a voting location to vote and 2) waited in line to sign in, but that filling out a single sheet of paper was no longer worth it.
Once we were fully set up and getting into the flow of things most of the delays and reasons for lines were the voters taking too long inside the booths. It was basically a giant touchscreen monitor to select your choices, then you review everything one last time before printing a physical ballot. I had multiple people enter the booth and then wait about five minutes before calling for help saying they didn't know what to do. Also the second page/backside of the ballot was for the local Board of Education candidates, and this was really tripping up a lot of people. Also a staggering amount of people just did not see the giant "NEXT" arrow at the bottom right hand side of the screen. Poll workers are not allowed to enter the booth with them, so I had to do a lot of blind troubleshooting from the other side of the curtain.
Lots of men coming in with their wives and girlfriends and just waiting by the wall while the women voted but they didn't.
There was a smattering of young people, but not many. I did have to turn one girl away who recently turned 18 because New Jersey is not a same-day voter registration state. She was visibly bummed out and I felt bad about that.
Our oldest voter of the day was this ancient Polish woman who didn't speak a lick of English. Her daughter, who must've been in her eighties herself, had to sign a special permission slip to enter the booth with her mother to help. They were in there for a good 15 minutes, but luckily this was during a calm period of the day.
In terms of voter attire, we only had two Harris shirts and one Harris/Walz hat we had to ask people to cover up because that's not allowed within 100 feet of the polling station. Lots of Puerto Rico flags, and one guy had this obnoxious shirt of a coquí painted like the flag that I loved. Also had one man come in wearing a very sharp suit with the loudest red tie I've ever seen in my life who proudly shouted, "Let's make voting great again!" as he left after he finished.
One older Hispanic lady (I think she was Puerto Rican) had very broken English and had to do a provisional ballot for some reason. She was so worried she was going to do it wrong, but I walked her through it with my very broken Spanish and after about 20 minutes she was good to go. She was extremely thankful and gave me a hug.
I had one woman, maybe in her mid-forties, call me over to help when she was inside the booth. She asked, "why are there so many names?" I asked what she meant, and she started listing the down-ballot candidates in the other rows below President and Vice President. She said, "what is 'Senate'? What does that mean?" I explained to her that there were other contests to vote for, and after a telling pause she responded, "...okay..." Not entirely sure I got through to her.
One woman took her very young daughter into the booth with her and a few minutes later called me over. Her screen displayed a "USB device disconnected" error. I looked down and saw that the printer had been turned off. I asked how that happened and the little girl started laughing. Her mother was mortified, but I got them sorted out.
We had one teenager who we had to help insert her ballot into the scanner because her hands were shaking so violently. It was her first time voting and she was extremely nervous. I hope she's doing okay today.
Towards the end of the night this contractor with filthy hands comes in and he's clearly exhausted but wanted to vote anyway. We were shooting the breeze while he signed his voting authority and I said, "I bet I got you beat though, I woke up at 4:30 this morning." He looks up at me and deadpans, "I've been up since 3:30." I yielded and he laughed with me.
Our second-to-last voter of the day was some early-twenties guy who moseyed on in at 7:55 PM (polls legally close at 8:00 PM sharp) and said, "I heard this was going on today." Somehow he was registered and was able to get in and out in no time, but that was just such a casual remark to make that it floored me.
Our absolute last voter of the day was a woman who was on her cellphone the entire time trying to coax her husband - who was in his own car about two blocks away from the sounds of it - to hurry on over before we closed. I could hear him hemming and hawing over it, making some excuse. He didn't make it.
Closing the polls was equally as confusing and stressful as opening them was because there are a lot of very detailed ballot reports to print and specific zip ties with specific barcodes and serial numbers to close up the machines. We were missing a certain lock for the ballot bag that we was preventing all sixteen of us from leaving (no one can leave until all districts at the polling location are ready). Eventually I (because of course it was me) found it in a trash can; someone had thrown it out for some reason but no one owned up to doing it.
As we were leaving and all saying goodbye, some of the other poll workers joked, "see you guys in four years!" I pointed out that there are elections every year, and that in fact New Jersey has a gubernatorial election next year, and some of them basically said, "I didn't know that."
Overall a stressful but memorable day. Today I was talking to some co-workers that voted at different locations within my County (so using the same equipment I was trained on), and they were telling me stories of waiting between 45 minutes to two and a half hours at most. My location never got a line that bad, which maybe had to do with the location I got assigned, but it's also just as possible that me and one other guy around my age (shout out to Giovanni working District 27!) held our shit down and prevented that from happening.
It was a very long day that wiped me out. In a vacuum I don't know that I would want to do it again, but after seeing the incompetence of the standard ilk of poll workers and learning what was happening at other locations, I really feel like I need to. I'd rather these things be run by people like me than not.
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lescraze · 1 year ago
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In this oil on canvas painting by Criselda Vasquez, she uses her parents to reinterpret and contemporize the iconic 1930 painting by Grant Wood, American Gothic.
My parents were young migrant workers, my dad was brought into migrant work at a very young age, he dropped out of school when he was in middle high to do so. He was brought into migrant work by his mom and his moms mom, and so on. Migrant work is all my dad knew, on the other hand, my mom finished school, and attended university prior to getting pregnant, which pushed her into working in such conditions. Still was very interested in continuing to educate herself in any way possible. In the early 2000’s my parents officially decided to stay in Colorado, even though they could have chosen from California, New Mexico, Arizona, or Colorado, my parents were set on Colorado. My mom, still wanting to expand her knowledge , began taking English classes at our local Migrant Head Start, a head start that was for migrant families in the summer to provide child care services and early childhood education. My mom has no ESL (English as a second language) degree whatsoever, but, my mom took time out of her day and energy to not only teach herself English, but to help her 5 year old daughter with her english. My dad on the other hand didn't bother learning the language, and soon after getting basic knowledge on the language, I became my dads personal interpreter. 
Now growing up in a strictly spanish speaking household, even after learning english. My parents made it more of a priority to speak Spanish at home as much as possible, because they believed that in not doing so, we would lose our spanish my dad would go off and yell, “No no no en esta casa se abla Espanol, nada de ese engl-eesh” or “Na nada de eso, espanol por favor”, Making it hard to practice my english at times outside of school, but still very much grateful for this decision now. In school I strictly spoke english, because besides being the only place I could practice, my teachers would make it a priority we only spoke english as school, especially those in the ESL program. This is what always confused me about the situation. I wasn't allowed to speak Spanish at school, but I became my school's interpreter on almost every occasion, so you know, I kinda had to speak Spanish for that. Same at home, I was not allowed to speak English to or around my parents inside the house or outside, but yet I was always told "Mija diles esto…” and I went off speaking english. At the time, it made it hard to be encouraged in being the bilingual student or the interpreter everywhere I go, but now thinking back, I wouldn't have it any other way. Boy was that annoying, but no one else would do it.  Even though there were times where I wished I only knew one language and cried, because other children and peers would make fun of my accent, in which now, I am extremely thankful. Everytime I felt like not wanting to speak because I said ‘Cinnamon’ instead of ‘synonym’ (say it out loud and tell me it doesn't sound the same) I always had my momma cheering me on. Times where I felt frustrated because  I couldn't understand a concept, my mom was also there reminding me that being bilingual is an honor, and should be embraced and would tell me, “Nunca te avergüences por tu lenguaje! Puedes conquistar el mundo sabiendo dos lenguajes , nunca te avergüences mija” (Never be ashamed for your language. You can rule the world knowing 2 languages). Boy, my mama couldn't be more right…
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sardix · 1 month ago
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WOTFI 2024 Bingo results
If you didn't know @midnight1nk created a bingo map! (You can find the original post here). With these peoples ideas: /midnight1nk, /Sardix (me), @34saveme34 , @time1srunout , @porschas-palette , @yullalightk , @Nicc
Anyway, here are the results (and yes i am aware the picture looks a little off with colors but it's a printed out wersion with stars as stickers) + screenshots from the moments that I felt counted or not. And a reminder I was going off of the description of spaces and not their names. (However, If I put something in the wrong place tell me and I will fix it :), I am also always up for discussion)
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Sadly we did not get Bingo but there will be plenty oportunities in the future
1. Mario ruins the show! (He did the final blow)
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2. Karma (they did beat him although he didn't become something like Leggy)
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3. Mr. Puzzle having a grudge against Smg4 - (I think this counts?)
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5. It's gotta be perfect (IGBP) - (it wasn't really mentioned BUT this monster was present + the whole hate Smg4 gets that played an important role in IGBP) (add Photos from IGTBP)
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6. Freak Show - it wasn't really said but they all got a whole makeover for the carnival show
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7. Carnival-themed rap - this one doesn't need explaining (also it was a banger, I cannot stop listening to it)
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8. The Bell tolls - I don't know if this counts or not, but I decided to put it here because there is like A LOT of "death" during the minigames. (I could put all the moments in here because of the picture limit)
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9. Merch - I mean, it was gonna be for 100%; this time, tho mostly Mr.Puzzle teamed, which makes sense seeing his popularity in and outside the fandom.
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10. Sacrifice - Meggy getting saved by Smg4 by using Mario (also my theory about Smg4 after the IGBP whenever angry getting suddenly super strong physically works, because he was FAST and you could see in his eyes the determination to not let any of his friends die again)
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11. Meggy confronts - she does, in fact, confront him but doesn't really scold him for his wrongdoings. Still, I think that the interaction counted.
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12. Brand new look - as shown before most of the cast gets a makeover, which are new look carnival-teamed
13. Puzzle Tune - it appears at the very beginning of the first song that Mr.Puzzle sings as Smg4 and Mario are in the boat
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Now the stuff that I think didn't count and why:
1. Past arc or trauma - the trauma from past arcs wasn't mentioned unless you count Smg4 hate comments. Or Mr.Puzzles past but that's not really mentioning past arcs.
2. Park destroyed - it wasn't destroyed like Wren's lab, just got closed
3. Puzzles backstory - we got a scene where what was already shown in the Didney episode was explained; we didn't get any new info from the one we already knew.
4. Not so different - sadly, a scene like this does not happen no matter how much I wished it did. ( it sounds too good to be true.) BUT it may happen in the future.
5. (Ending) twist - Mr.Puzzle didn't reveal that he was behind the 2023 WOTFI, and I don't think Leggy 2.0 counts as a character foreshadowing, although Marty the cardboard became an actual character, so we never know.
6. Star Rating system - suprisingly it is never out right mentioned, Mr.Puzzle only mentions the destruction of his show.
7. Tenner tunnel - which I assume is just the tunnel of fun, but since it never is really shown, we cannot know for sure. It only kinda appears in the background
8. Smg4 kids - they didn't even appear in the background, so...
9. Puzzles dies - it is not his time yet, and it appears he has yet to play some really important roles in the story.
10. You saved me - to probably a lot of fans disapointment with Smg3 under control we did not get to see them interact other than fighting (Smg4 and Smg3).probably becouse of the movie being a litle shorter than usual (less than 30 minutes if you take out the merch talk) we did not get a scene with them even reuniting after being freed from the hypnotic state.
11. Dynamic change - some people would probably say that the dynamic between Mr.Puzzle and Meggy changed but from the beginning, we could see that deep inside she wanted to help or a part of her, and I do not mean Leggy (although I suppose it could count but for now I'm leaving it here)
12. Leggy's flag - honestly I'm not sure if it even appears, but it definitely did not play an important role
Bonus: They remembered the video where Smg4 became the clown king, aka where it was never resolved, so I think now it is officially canon and not just a one-time joke. (Please tell me I wasn't the only one who joticed that)
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Well, would you look at that? We got 14 out of 25, not a bad score, I must say! And I'm sure we can't wait for what will come in the future
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baiabay · 1 year ago
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No Role Modelz (ATSV Black Cat Variant! Reader Insert)
Chapter 1: Scaredy-Cat
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Prologue
Chapter 1: Current Chapter
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
^^links 2 chapters!! this story is also on ao3, wattpad, and quotev under the same name ! <33
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A/N: Spot is here!!
 Hey all! Okay so first things first thank you so much for all the support of the last chapter! It honestly means alot given that ive never written before lol. Alsoooo sorry for the radio-silence after the last release, i just graduated highschool! So yay for me :) also means that ill have much more time to write since its summer break for me now. Lastly,sorry if this chapter seemed kinda slow, I wanted to try to incorporate what this universes’ Felicia Hardys “canon events”(or what would be of her canon events) would look like in this chapter to set up a bit of backstory, as someone who doesn’t read the comics nor play the games, pls forgive any inaccuracies in Felicias lore as I am only going based off of wikipedia (plus in this story reader is a minor so I wanted to exclude the nsfw trauma that Felicia goes through in og story) I also wanted to find out a way how to integrate reader into the main plot which is why i decided to feature Spot in this chapter :D thanks again for the support and don’t forget that this chapter along with any future ones will be posted to ao3/tumblr under the same title!
P.S. Much more Spider-Miles/Black Cat interactions next chapter!!
Word Count: 1844
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You remembered it like it was yesterday.
Seven months ago, Brooklyn, New York.
Your father - The Black Cat’s face on every screen in the country, but most importantly yours.
BREAKING NEWS: WORLD-RENOWNED CAT BURGLAR CAUGHT IN THE ACT : IDENTITY SHOCKS THE NATION
…huh?
LIVE ON THE SCENE: ‘BLACK CAT’ REVEALED TO BE MULTI MILLIONAIRE WALTER HARDY AFTER RUN-IN WITH SPIDER-MAN
…no, this-
THIS JUST IN: CAT BURGLAR WALTER HARDY PRESUMED DEAD AT HEIST SCENE - POSSESSIONS TO BE TURNED IN TO OFFICIALS
This can’t be happening.
It was all too much at once. 
He never kept it secret from you. You knew about your father’s job.
You knew all about what he did. The planning, the heists, the reselling, he had done it for years. And you knew all about it.  But he had been doing this for years. Long enough to allow your family to live very comfortably. Long enough that you believed he would never be caught.
But yet there you were, all that you knew burned to the ground in a matter of minutes.
You remembered it like it was yesterday. Frantically packing everything you could into any bag you could find; clothes, money, pictures, weapons, anything - before they could take it away from you. 
And when they did, it was brutal. 
Live-streamed news coverage of men raiding your home, rummaging through your stuff- your father’s stuff- as if he never existed. 
Soon enough there were auctions. Bids, worth millions, on your father’s items, broadcasted across the nation, with drinks and music and finger foods - they made a fucking sport out of it. 
You remembered it like it was yesterday, the cheers in the street after the big-bad-black-cat was pronounced dead. The endless praise Spider-man received, that of which he took with a smile on his face. You had wished you could kill him.
You remembered it like it was yesterday, the day Peter Parker died.
You laughed.
.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .  
Seven months later, Brooklyn, New York.
Ugh.
Muscles aching, you stretched up in your bed, and groaned. Ruffling the bedhead out of your hair, you reluctantly trudged out of your mattress to open a window. Coincidentally, one of your many cats was perched perfectly on its sill, wide-eyed and tail flicking in your direction.
“...This whole heist stuff is really catching up to me, huh?”
The cat stared. You sighed. You really had to get yourself some friends.
Ever since your fathers passing, you’ve basically been on your own. Shortly after all his (and your) possessions were seized, you hopped around until you managed to find shelter in a shitty apartment on the west side of town. You, fueled purely by spite (with a tasteful teeny tiny dash of vengeance on the side), inherited the criminal persona of your father, along with his criminal tendencies, and took upon yourself the name of The Black Cat. 
All this time you’ve managed to keep your identity completely secret, not even your resellers knew who you were. That came with one major drawback though… you were extremely lonely.
Even with your frequent charity rounds around the community, noone really knew who you were. Even though Black Cat was nonviolent, the name was widely feared seemingly everywhere you went. Even with your days at school, the school you’ve been going to for months now, you made your way around the halls unnoticed. 
Speaking of school, you were late. 
Shit. 
Spending ample time dazing out your window, you’ve completely lost track of time. You disregarded your hair and rushed to pull on your uniform. Stumbling around your complex you hastily dumped too large of a portion of cat food into the automatic feeder, something you’re sure the cats will be grateful for. Shoving a few snacks into your bag, you simultaneously shuffled into your school shoes, proceeding to dash out the door. 
Sprinting down the stairs, nearly tripping once, twice, you whipped out your phone to check when the next bus route would arrive. 35 minutes.
Shitshitshit.
You paused, still in the stairwell, before turning to sprint in the opposite direction, towards the rooftop terrace. Creaking open the door, you checked to make sure noone else was up there before making your way towards the edge of the terrace. To anyone else but you, it would look like a young student was about to make an unfortunate decision and jump. And jump you did. 
You fell for a few seconds, relishing in the way your stomach dropped. You’d never get tired of that feeling. Seeing the ground get closer, you released your grappling hook and latched onto the nearest building. Pulling and releasing, you quickly fell into a swinging pattern, towards Brooklyn Visions. 
Hidden from the eyes of civilians, you swung yourself through the shadows. Everyone looked so small from up there, and for a brief second, you found power in your lonesome. In the corner of your eye you noticed what seemed to be a lanky white figure clumsily flying through the air. (You paid it no mind).
Dropping down into a dark alleyway much closer to campus, you continued your mad dash towards the main entrance. Winded, you finally made your way inside the building, a thin layer of sweat shined on your forehead. The hallways were empty, class must be in session. You took a few steps forward, making your way towards your classroom until being knocked over by a student, very evidently in a hurry. 
“Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to-I’m just in a rush, I didn’t mean…”
The boy reached out his hand to help you up.
“Hey, it's no problem, I get it.”
You smiled, and took your hand in his. He hesitated for a moment, staring, brows furrowed at your now interlocked hands, before nodding and continuing his sprint down the hallways. 
You took in his disheveled appearance, his wonky tie, his half-tucked shirt, untied laces, dark eyes, curly hair, brown skin, sweaty palms…
Your thoughts were quickly interrupted with the shrill ringing of the school bell. Suddenly, the hallways flooded with students rushing towards their next classes, you decided to follow suit. 
On the other side of the hallway, Miles Morales lingered on how his spidey-sense flashed alarms in his head when his hand touched yours. Every nerve in his system telling him to run, fight, dodge, anything to get away from you-he couldn't put his finger on why. (He paid it no mind). Blaming it on nerves, Miles shoved his way through the packed hallways, dreading the meeting waiting for him in the guidance counselor's office. 
.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    
School was a bust, as always. Nothing new, you made your way through the rest of the day unnoticed. As always. But you didn’t have time to think about that right now.
At the moment, you were in the middle of going through numerous number-codes on a padlock blocking the vault door to an extremely expensive gemstone. You’ve been salivating over this stone for weeks now, planning out how and when exactly you would strike to get this thing in your hands. You could see it now, the headlines, the chaos, after some rando millionaire’s little rock was taken from him…
“Woah, hey, you’re new!”
You flinched, hard. Whipping around towards the source of this unusually chipper voice. You were met with… a cow? … Man?
You stared, hard. 
“Okay, hey. The ogling isn’t necessary… I just-”
The cowman’s sentence was cut short with a quick lash of your whip, that of which he caught…? Your whip seemed to phase right through a large black hole on his torso, the opposite end appearing in a similar black hole right behind you, the whips end striking your back. You cried out, hit with the full force of your lash.
Sinister giggles emerged from the spotted figure, pointed towards your pained form. You trembled, in shock. 
“It’s rude to interrupt.” 
Spot stepped slowly towards you, his…well, spots, whirring aggressively, pointedly. You were frozen on the ground. Staring up at him, your lips trembled open.
“What,” You coughed. Once, twice. “-what are you?”
The black and white figure straightened, only to then fold over into a dramatic, hilariously unthreatening pose. 
“You, can call me… The Sp-”
“Some sort of cow?” You snickered. It was now his turn to flinch, hard. 
“I am NOT a-” The cow cleared his throat. “I am not a cow…whydoeseveryonesaythat…I, am the most dangerous villain you’ve ever seen, The Spo-”
“I mean, what’s with that getup?” The grin on your face grew. “Is that… is that supposed to be a costume? Orrrr…” 
The Spot sighed, defeated. “...it’s skin.”
“It’s skin?” 
“Yes, yes, now I-”
You stood up, energy back and eyes crinkled. 
“Wow, that’s…hm, interesting…skin, that’s skin? Sorry, sorry-listen man, I uh, I really gotta get back to this, so if you don’t mind?”
Stepping backwards in offence, the spotted figure shook in anger before swinging out his arm, releasing numerous dark voids around the room. Hitting practically every surface, but one most importantly, landing on the vault door, separating you, from your stone.
“Ah-wait-”
Swiftly, The Spot weaved his way through his holes, limbs popping up and out around the room in a way you couldn’t even begin to reach for your whip. 
No way was he about to take it from you.
But take it, he did.
In what felt like seconds, the whole room was engulfed in black. Stumbling backwards, you fell through one of the voids, flailing ungracefully, swimming through nothing. 
It was hard to breathe. 
A shrill crackling terrorized your ears, and before you, appeared a very disheveled Spot, now fully black with white spots, facial dot whirring and trained on you.
Gem in hand. 
Panic.
You were panicking. The sound of blood thrummed in your ears as you squirmed around in nothingness. Fuck the rock, you just had to get out of here. 
A cold hand grabs your wrist, dragging you upwards, towards the crackling form. 
For the second time today, you were frozen.
“I am not a cow,”
The form spoke lowly.
“I am not some villain of the week”,
Frozen still, you did nothing but stare straight into his glare.
“I. Am. The Spot”.
Suddenly, you were dropped. For the second time today, your stomach dropped with you. Next thing you know you’re falling through another void, leading not into darkness, but through the city skyline. Seeing the ground get closer, you released your grappling hook and latched onto the nearest building. 
As soon as your feet reached a solid surface, your legs buckled. Heaving, you failed to process what just took place, heart pounding in your ears. 
“...the fuck was that?”
.   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   
Miles received word of commotion taking place downtown, something to do with spots. He had hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was, and it was. It was, and was so much worse. 
Dark spots littered a large manor, maniacal cackling emerging from its center. In the corner of his eye a familiar masked figure hunched over, breathing rapidly, staring straight ahead at the mess of spots.
(He paid it some mind.)
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Ppl that asked me to tag them!(thxx 4 the support!)
@nightshxdex
@itszzmoon
@blackcat-kittyblogs
@vxxxb
<3
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