#kinda sad because my dog died yesterday and stuff

[kuchipark]

Yeah, I’m like totally famous, dude. Got like 12 Tumblr followers. It’s crazy. Don’t talk to me until you got 12 Tumblr followers, like me. Having less than 12 Tumblr followers is totally weak.

[weebsinstash]

No no you’re so right about the batfam thing, I thought I was the only one here. They’re all so mentally ill and have seen so much shit, this gray area of taking care of you (but at the same time never attempting to cure you) is so on brand.

Reader: ok so can I just go over this again. I was a grown adult woman with a job and an apartment and my own arguably shitty life and I was even a vigilante

Dick: yep sounds right so far

Reader: and I had a run in with a villain and maybe almost died and in the end i got turned back into a kid

Jason: yeah it was real scary, Damian totally cried

Reader: and after I was a kid again and i couldnt remember anything 'from the future', you gave me a new place to live, you fed me, you housed me, you even registered me in school and I literally went to high school with you guys

Barbara: yeah and the teachers love you ^^

Reader: i would have nightmares and PTSD and then one or even several of you would sleep in the same room as me, Alfred learned all my favorite dishes, we literally took family vacations overseas, you took me to all kinds of doctors whenever I was worried about my hair or my skin or wasn't feeling well to make sure I was literally in perfect health and wouldnt worry, some of you call me your sister completely unironically, and you guys did all of that, all of that for like FIVE YEARS--

Damian: well of course

Reader: and you NEVER attempted to talk to Dr Fate or Zatanna or Mr Terrific or like literally anyone about how to fix this and turn me back to normal literally NOT EVEN one single time? And what the fuck, are these ADOPTION PAPERS?

Jason:

Dick:

Bruce:

Barbara:

The dog:

Alfred, being as brutally honest as ever: it never came into consideration, no

Reader: man, fuck you guys, I'm gonna see what that "Earth-3" dimension is like, maybe THEIR Batman isn't a complete freak 😒

But gosh you wanna talk about morally gray, I was thinking of something when I was watching those Jason clips yesterday and you know, depending on the movie, people were discussing how he literally had head trauma that also could have altered his mental state and i began thinking: what if Reader got a concussion and it eventually spirals into the Batfam basically turning it into one big convenient excuse

Like imagine Reader is, you know a member or extended member of the fam, whether as is or attached to that age regression amnesia idea, and a villain just, REALLY gets a good move in, maybe the Joker himself brings his good friend the crowbar back and you take a good swing to the back of the head, and you have, like, CONFIRMED head trauma, definitely concussed, maybe you even need surgery or treatment for a fractured skull. Just the entire Batfam crowded around your bed comforting you as you lay there in bandages feeling just so weak and helpless and sad 🥺 and maybe not just the concussion but also the resulting months of bedrest until you recover directly result in you needing physical therapy so you're also physically weaker than before

And this goes from "oh gosh Reader is forgetting things more often and her ability to think and focus has obviously changed, what if this is permanent, we better make sure we support her and keep her company and try to help her and make things as accessible as possible" developing to "clearly you are only upset with us because your concussion scrambles you up sometimes and you're more emotional than you were before and you're not always in the right state of mind. what do you MEAN you want to move out and The Mission is stupid and none of us are actually fixing anything, youve never said stuff like this before, that's ridiculous, clearly you're just having another overstimulated meltdown but that's ok, we know you're struggling and you're still our family so we'll make sure you stay here and stay safe 🥰"

And you know, the Reader character is all emotional and stuff, but as the IRL Reader thats one of those situations where you kinda go "well shit, she DID have a traumatic head injury, from the Batfam's perspective you COULD legitimately just be suffering from a concussion and these 'aren't your real feelings'" and it's super morally gray because like yeah, you've been hurt real bad, and maybe you're still recovering, and maybe you do legitimately have a somewhat, er, slightly diminished mental ability now, but that's all manifesting in "you're literally having to break out of the house just to get some time to yourself because youre trapped or have a constant babysitter and Batman himself drags you back kicking and screaming while he's gently scolding how you shouldn't be out there by yourself and that you have to be more careful because what if you got hurt 🥺"

And even if Reader's emotions weren't being affected at all like, it brings THEM some sort of fucked up closure to believe that you're just a little unwell and not, like, you hating them because 'they couldn't protect you' and it is arguably their fault you even got brutalized in the first place. Bruce just internalizing the extreme guilt he feels until it manifests into you basically being treated even MORE like, like some kind of bubble baby, constantly kept safe in your perfectly handcrafted little prison of 'a peaceful life'.

[glittergutts]

Yesterday was a fucking day. Chris and I did a little bit of the shrooms and had a good time laughing together. My body felt like it was on another planet, and the shadows on the wall were like swirling and stuff. I really enjoyed it. But when I came down, I crashed harder than I probably ever had. I hadn't eaten in like 48 hours unless you consider some coffee and magic mushrooms food. My dog was being the biggest asshole and wouldn't come inside for almost 2 hours and it was cold as fucking shit. It made me really upset and I just kept thinking about things that made me feel even more sad. It was weird to cry to my husband and feel like he was actually hearing me and holding my hand and offering me things like milkshakes. He really helped me get my shit back together. Normally I feel like crying kinda freaks him out but last night he acted a lot different than I'm used to. I'm not sure why but ever since his piece of shit brother died he's been holding me a closer and kissing me more and it's been a good change and it's nice to feel like our relationship might finally get to properly heal.

I'm going to be good to my body today and not eat any more shroomies. The kids start co-op again today, and we're getting lunch at my favorite place, so I know I'm going to eat well today. I also need to take my meds before my brain stops working. I skipped a bunch of pills recently because I didn't fill up the weekly box. I finally did that so I could see what I'm forgetting Instead of keeping up with whether or not I took all 9 different medications and supplements, im supposed to take in a day. It's too much to keep in my head. I also didn't do any skin care yesterday, so my skin is looking kinda rough, and I've got to do something about my hair before I shave my head like my sister did. My nail polish is chipped, and I just want to take it off and repaint them because it made me feel good when they looked nice and sparkly. I hate feeling not put together.

Also my house that was clean on Friday? Absolutely fucked. The mess was really giving my anxiety while I was tripping, so next time, I'm going to super clean beforehand. But I need to get things ready for the week ahead today so I don't die from the stress. I'm going to stay caffinated and hopefully get some shit done today.

[lovinghiddleston]

Not drunk; Chris Evans

the reader is keeping a secret away from Chris, so after dinner with her friends, things just come out.

Gif is not mine. Credits to unearthlydust.

Pairings: Chris Evans x pregnant!reader.

Warnings: None, this is pure love and fluff stuff. If you feel uncomfortable with pregnancy just don't read.

A/N: I'm not a native English speaker and I'm also new on Tumblr so pls don't be rude. I hope you enjoy this!

MY WORKS BELONGS TO ME. DON'T TRANSLATE, DON'T COPY AND DON'T PUBLISH THIS ON WATTPAD OR ANY SITE.

Chris was completely sure that you'll be coming back home in a clumsily drunk state. No matter how many times you denied his declaration, he ignored you like a kid. You used to go out with your friends every Tuesday night, you'd probably have dinner in some fancy restaurant and sometimes it was hard for your group to skip the champagne and the wine. You promised him that tonight it was going to be different, little did he know it was because you have a secret you are still keeping for yourself. Not for long, you imagine.

"No alcohol for me." You repeated, again. He smiled.

"I don't believe you, ya know?"

"You look so beautiful." Chris was behind you in your bedroom. "You promise me you'll be going safe tonight?"

"You should, I'm your fiance." The man was all smiles and nodded to you in front of the mirror.

He hugged you and his hands went to your belly in almost a second, you died in that moment. How can he know about your secret? You just realized you were pregnant yesterday and nobody knows it, you tried to keep the secret away from your family and friends. That was the reason you didn't want to drink alcohol, you have a beautiful life in your own body. Something made by love. The hands of the man you loved in your belly could be a coincidence? Chris didn't say anything, he was looking at you in the mirror with a dreaming look.

"Are you okay?" You asked your lover, interrogating him with your eyes.

"I love you, babe."

"I love you too."

Chris left you in the restaurant with a kiss and a hardly goodbye. You easily started a conversation with your girlfriends and you ate more than ever. Your appetite was quite different tonight and when your best friend met your eyes, you could know that she must know something. Lisa was already drunk, she flirted with the waiter three times and everytime he walked next to her, she made a comment about his ass. You thought she was too loose in her own mind to care about you or the way you didn't touch the champagne and preferred to drink water. So, when you walked to the bath in the middle of the dinner, she followed you like a shadow.

"Why didn't you drink the champagne? Something is happenin'? You never leave the glass full " She asked you, coming next to you. "Oh, no. You're pregnant, It's the only reason I can think right know."

"Is that a bad thing?" You asked, your friend was the first person you told about your uncoming baby.

"No, that's great! I don't like kids for sure, I think they're ugly but it's good for you. You like kids."

You couldn't not smile at her in that moment, she was drunk and she was really honest with all her confessions. Lisa will probably forget all you said tonight. It was good too, you felt so overwhelmed and worried about your baby and your future, so you were kind of more relaxed with your friend not acting like a mother.

"I think I'll call Chris, I feel like I couldn't wait any longer. He is the father, I mean, he must know this."

"Chris is the father?" You raised an eyebrow. It was obvious that Chris was the father. You were together for two years now and he was the first real boyfriend you had. He met your family and you met his. His dog was pretty close to you from the first moment. You loved him and the relationship you both had made. Being his wife was the next step in your relationship and it was coming in only two weeks.

You called Chris in the bathroom, Lisa was still there and you made a short call, or at least, that's what you expected. You just wanted him to take you home and eventually, you'll be going to tell him the truth. You were ending the call when Lisa screamed too loud. "AN APPLAUSE FOR THE DAD! DADDY CHRIS!"

"Chris…" you whispered, hearing your own heartbeat.

"I'm coming, just wait there."

He didn't sound angry or happy, or with any emotion at all. Your nails were suffering from your own nerves and when you saw his car on the street, you knew that the secret must have to be revealed. Chris opened the door for you and he didn't say anything. You took a seat and waited for a couple of minutes, your department wasn't really away from the restaurant and you both came to the house faster. The front door was being closed when he finally spoke.

"Is that true?" you saw his puppy eyes. "Me being a dad?"

You nodded your head slowly. "You are going to be a father."

He made something that you weren't expecting, his arms lifted you from the ground and kissed you as he knew how. Like the time he proposed to you, Chris made an eternal promise. You move your own hands to bring him even closer.

"It's kinda sad that I have to discover the truth by your drunk friend." he said, leaving kisses in your lips. "But I've never been so happy like now. I think we should move the date of our wedding, I can't wait to marry you and make you my wife."

Your laugh broke the serious moment in Chris' face. "No way! You have to wait only for two weeks."

"That's a lot, love"

"Well, we have to wait for nine months for our baby. Two weeks are nothing compared to that."

"Our baby, how magical that sounds?" Chris left a kiss in your nose. "Okay, fine. I think we should do other things while we wait."

And after all, that's how everything started. Your baby hadn’t magically appeared there.

[hoshi-u-love-me]

TTT

Group : Seventeen

Pairing : Seventeen × Reader

Genre : Drabble

Word count : 1.7k

Warning : Randomness, absurdity, 🐴이 안되는 컨텐즈, perverted tendencies (it's ok tho it's not harrassment)

a/n : I saw this one video where hannie literally stashed mentos and dalgona in his front overall pocket and I just !!!!!!! EUREKA

One thing you love about your friend group is that nothing ever happens twice. Meaning life is never boring. It is never flat. There is always something you can expect but you don't know what.

Kind of like anxiety.

But better.

So when Kim Mingyu came to your place, pack YOUR bag with YOUR clothes and YOUR other essentials and claimed that he's kidnapping you, you weren't even surprised.

He had taken every one to an impromptu road trip, going as far as renting a minibus without anyone knowing.

"Yah, Kim Mingyu, you forgot my phone charger!" You whined, throwing a crumpled piece of snack wrapper at him, who was driving.

He snaps his head in your direction for a split second before refocusing on the road, "I'm sorry, but you had a lot of things to begin with"

Chan, who was seated next to you, leaned in and whispered, "that and he was totally distracted by your drawer full of panties and bras" he smirked when he saw you widening your eyes in horror.

"Waaaaaaaaaah, Kim Mingyu is a pervert!" Jeonghan yelled from behind you, teasing the younger, "Kim Mingyu saw (Y/N)'s panties and he likes it!" He continued.

Mingyu stammered, trying to explain himself, "y-yah! No! I mean, I-I did saw it but- but- I was helping her! She wouldn't do it herself and someone has to do it! (Y/N)! You should be thankful of me, if I didn't pack them, you'd have no underwear for the rest of the trip!!" He yelled back.

This time, it was Jun who quipped at him, "so the choices were you seeing her undergarments or us knowing she's not wearing anything underneath? Mingyu-yah, you're selfish"

You groaned at their childish behaviour, "that's it! I'm looking for girl friends to hang out with"

You had hoped that would shut the conversation down but your poor choice of words only resulted in most of them ooh-ing you, "girl on girl action, nice" Seungcheol joked from the front seat next to Mingyu.

At Seungcheol's words, the car went to a whole new level of crazy.

It took 15 minutes before the subject of the conversation changed and boy were you relieved.

Seokmin leaned forward from his seat to tap on your shoulder, "(Y/N), I don't feel so good, do you have anything to help my nausea?" You reached into your bag, trying to look for anything that could help his carsickness but found nothing.

Before you can tell him the bad news though, Jeonghan who was seated next to him had shoved something to his hands, "here, I figured someone might be getting sick of MINGYU'S SHITTY DRIVING SKILLS," he yelled the last part to make sure Mingyu heard him, "so that should help"

"Anything for back pain, hyung?" Soonyoung quipped, "I think I pulled something during yesterday's practice" he pouted.

Jeonghan reached into his bag for a second before producing a patch that could help Soonyoung's problem, "don't worry, it's the brand you like that doesn't smell so bad" he said as he leaned back and hand the small item to the younger guy.

Chan got curious and decided to test Jeonghan, "what about something to nibble on? I think I'm kinda hungry" he said. Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at him, "you think you should snack right now? When we get to the town we're gonna have something to eat and it's in like- wait, Mingyu, how much longer 'till we get there?"

Instead of Mingyu, it was Seungcheol who answered him, "an hour and a half-ish, might as well get comfy back there" he said.

"See? Come on hyung, I'll be splitting some of the snack with (Y/N) anyways and I'll still be able to eat there!" Chan whined. Jeonghan was already convinced by Seungcheol's answer anyways so he thought, 'why not?' Before reaching back into his bag and took a bag of chips and handing it over to Chan, "but share with (Y/N), I don't want to lose my place as her favorite member" he said, winking at you when you turn your head towards him.

"Who said you're my favorite member? It could easily be Chan or Vernon since both of them have my back most of the times" you retorted at him which elicit a "yup yup, cool guys squad never dies" from Vernon at the very back while pumping his fist at you in which you returned. Chan on the other hand was laughing.

This time, Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at you, as if daring you to say more, "I said so because if you won't admit it, I won't lend you one of my chargers" he lifted up a phone charger from his bag.

You squinted your eyes at him and scoffed, "that's an iphone charger." He feigned a shocked look, going as far as putting a hand to his chest, "dear baby (Y/N), I am trully shocked that you don't think I know you at all" he shook his head with mock sadness.

It was until he reached back into his bag again and lifted up a type-C charger proudly with a smirk, "m'lady" he dangle the charger for a bit in front of your face before dropping it on your lap.

"Okay, no, you're right, you're my favourite member" you grinned and shot him a flying kiss which he pretended to catch and press to his heart.

"Woah, hyung, that's awesome! What else do you have in your bag?" Seokmin exclaimed, leaning closer to Jeonghan to take a peek inside his bag.

Jeonghan hummed and scanned the content, "basic things that you guys might need I guess, like... earplugs?" "Oop- that's for me I think" Minghao said from next to Vernon, making Jeonghan toss the items to him so he could sleep.

He then returned to name some other things which entices Seungkwan to say the least. "I bet you don't have EVERY 'basic needs' though" he scoffed, crossing his arms.

This made Jeonghan slightly offended. He turned in his seat to glare at the younger, "I so do!" "Nuuh, you couldn't have" "what if I do?" "Okay, if you have 5 items that I ask for then I'll pay for your next meal" "Done!" "Done!"

Seungkwan narrowed his eyes for a few momenta before clapping his hands, "ah, this, eyemask" Jeonghan took out two eyemasks from his bag before shoving it back in.

"That's easy... what about... masks?"

Jeonghan shoved his hands in and pulled out two items, "which one? Anti-covid or beautifying your face?"

You 'ooh'-ed at him, "oh yeah, we're DEFINITELY having a beauty night tonight" he said.

"Does that mean-"

You were cut off when he took out a jar of facemask that you both loved. Seeing the item in his hand made you squeal in delight.

"Damn it, that was my next guess," Seungkwan muttered under his breath, "okay so, I'll play fair and call it 3 out of 5... but next is... iphone earbuds!" He exclaimed, trying to trick his hyung since he knew his hyung uses a samsung phone.

(Not so) shockingly, he had one in his bag, holding it proudly.

While Seokmin and Soonyoung were whooping in excitement and wonder, Seungkwan was muttering curses under his breath.

Jeonghan looked extremely proud of himself, he had a grin permanently etched on his face which irked Seungkwan even more due to his smugness.

"Okay, okay, one more, you don't have this then I won't have to pay for your damn meal" he said. Jeonghan just shrugged and motioned for Seungkwan to go forth with his guess.

It took him a moment to think of something. Eyebrows were scrunched and eyes flitting, indicating that he's thinking hard.

A look of revelation suddenly appeared on his face. With a smirk, he bravely said, "sanitary pads"

The whole car 'boo'ed at him and his absurd guess. "That is just absurd!" Jihoon said, "hey, I played fair! He said anything!" Seungkwan retorted, defending himself.

Everyone was split between supporting Seungkwan's guess and saying that he was misusing the loophole, some were just straight up calling him nasty, in which you replied with, "how is it nasty ? YOU're nasty"

"Everyone, everyone!" Jeonghan called out, effectively shutting everyone up, "Seungkwan may have found a loophole and it is within his rights to use it, because let's be honest I would've too if I were him," he chuckled.

"However! What he did not realize is that I'm amazing" he smirked.

"No way..." Seungkwan said under his breath.

Jeonghan only nodded victoriously. He reached into his bag for the last time, grab the thing he wanted and held it up proudly.

The whole car went crazy.

Even the driving Mingyu got curious and looked back and forth between the back seat and the road ahead, earning a scolding smack from Seungcheol.

Seungkwan yelled out in disdain, screaming "this is unfair!" Multiple times.

"You forgot it's nearing (Y/N)'s time of the month and she seem to always have it at the most unconvenient time" he smirked.

This made you scrunch your face at him, "how did you know about my cycle??" "You seem to forget that I know a lot of stuffs about you" he smiled proudly. That didn't make you feel any better initially though.

You turn to look at Chan, "does he really know my cycle?" You asked. Chan nodded with a tight-lipped smile at you, "he remind everyone to take precautions whenever it's your period or nearing your period so that you wouldn't lash at anyone for being annoying, he even mark it on his calendar"

Now his constant sweet texts, food delivered, desserts bought, and hoodies lent during your period makes much more sense.

Knowing what you learnt, you look at Jeonghan with puppy dog eyes, batting your lashes at him, "awww you really do care about me don't you, Hannie ?" He squealed and grab your face in his hands, "awww of course I do, you're our baby, my baby" he spoke as if he was speaking with a baby.

Chan frowned at the sight before him, "I thought I was supposed to be the baby around here"

[lost-in-the-80s]

It’s You pt. 1

Pairing: Duff McKagan x (fem) reader

Words: 2,002k.

Summary: You and Duff are best friends and you help him to impress a girl. You should be happy for him, but then why do you feel sad? You couldn’t like him, could you? (fluff + angst) 

A/N: 1- So, it got bigger than I expected, so I'll post the second part in the future.

         2- I didn't want to use a name for the girl, just in case it was someone's name, because it would be weird lol. Therefore, we are always calling her "She".

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car​ @ladieswttda​ add yourself to my tag list :)

Part 2

It was the year of 1983, Y/N was at The Rainbow with her friends, drinking and laughing about something, when he entered the place. He had blue hair and almost didn’t pass through the door due to his height. 

He looked so lost, checking booth after booth, trying to find something. He moved towards the bar, where he sat and asked for a beer. 

Y/N didn’t know why, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. So she decided to go and start a conversation. Draining the rest of her beer she stood up and moved towards the open seat beside him.

 “I’ve never seen you here.” He looked to the side and saw a tall girl with a kind smile on her face. “I’m Y/N, by the way!”. She extended her hand for him to shake. 

“I’m Duff.” He gave her a small smile and shook her hand, wishing he had put on a nicer jacket. “Funny name.” She said while asking for another beer. 

“So, where are you from?” She drank from the bottle and his eyes moved to her lips. He looked to her eyes and realized she was staring at him, waiting for his answer.

He cleared his throat. “Seattle” 

“Cool, I’m from Sitka.” He looked at her as if he was trying to think where the hell that city was. “It’s in Alaska.” She stated and saw his eyes light up a little with realization.

“So… What brings a Seattle boy to California?” He looked into her eyes and said firmly “I’m going to be in a band!” From hearing that Y/N had no doubt, he would be. The way he said it as if it was the only thing he was sure in his life, made her even more curious about him.

“What about you? California doesn't seem like something Alaskan people are into.” She laughed slightly and he thought that was a heavenly sound. “I got tired of nothing happening in my life. Wanted some change. So one day I decided I would come here.” 

“What do you do here?” He asked after he drank from his beer. “I'm a photographer!” He raised his brows. “Maybe when you find a band I can take the pictures for you!” 

He smiled at her. She was the first person to be nice to him in that town. Ever since he arrived the only human contacts he had were with the grumpy lady from the hotel he was staying at, and a man who he bumped into, on his way to the bar. 

“When did you get here? You still look kinda lost.” Duff looked at her and asked for another beer before answering. “Yesterday. I’m staying in a hotel down the street until I find somewhere to stay.” 

“If I were you, I wouldn’t stay there. A friend of mine stayed and got one of his bags stolen. Nobody really checks to see if the rooms are safe and shit.” 

This made Duff worried. He had all his guitars there. “Where do you think I could stay?” 

“There is a nice place near the beach, but it’s kind of expensive.” He frowned worriedly. 

“I haven’t got a job yet, can’t stay in somewhere that costs too much.” 

She finished her beer and thought for a while. “You know what? Fuck it. You can stay at my place for a while.”

“Re-really?” She got him surprised, that’s for sure. She nodded her head and giggled at his expression. “But you don’t even know me.” He said.

“Yeah, but I know how it is to be new in somewhere you don’t know anyone.” She paused for a while. “Plus, you’re a nice guy. I can see it in your eyes.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Fuck yeah, Duff!” He laughed at her exasperation. 

She stood up and took a ten-dollar bill out of her jeans pocket putting it on the counter. “Come on, let’s take your stuff from that place before it’s too late.” 

-------

Now it was 1986. They became best friends after that night. Duff stayed at Y/N’s place for about two weeks until he found someone to share an apartment with. She helped him find a job and went with him on his first rehearsal with Road Crew.

She saw Road Crew slowly fade as Duff was invited to this new band Guns n Roses. She saw how in doubt he was about leaving a punk band to be in a rock one. She also saw how happy he was after his first gig with them and from that day on, she knew they would make it big.

She was always there, helping them with everything and being their number one fan. 

It was a strangely cold night in March, she was at the hell house with the boys, watching a horror movie and eating pizza. That’s when Duff entered the house. He slammed the front door shut and went straight to his room. Something had happened.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N followed him, closing his door behind her. He was walking from one wall to another while mumbling something. “What’s going on Duff?” 

He looked at her for a while before he started to speak. “She said I’m nobody!” Y/N frowned. “Said my band is nothing.” He was so exasperated. “Said that I can call her when we are famous” He ran his hands through his hair.

Y/N knew who he was talking about. She was a secretary Duff met a couple of weeks ago at The Rainbow. He was head over hills for her since day one. Always trying to impress her, but she always dismissed him.

“Fucking bitch.” Y/N said. “Fuck her, you deserve better than someone who cares for this crap.” 

He rolled his eyes. He didn’t like it when Y/N talked like that about her. He knew she never really liked her, always saying that she wasn’t nice or that she didn’t like her personality, but still, he liked her.

It was true, Y/N didn’t like her at all. But it was because she was a bitch. Y/N didn’t like calling someone that, but it was true. Every time Duff was around, she would ask him if she was beautiful, touch his arm suggestively or call him “Duffy” and then, when he tried to start some sort of conversation, she would completely ignore him or answer in the rudest way. Y/N hated that because she knew how bad Duff got every time it happened.

“I’ll make it big Y/N! I’ll prove to her that I am somebody. And then we will finally be together!” Y/N rolled her eyes. “You never listen to me do you?” She said, exiting the bedroom and closing the door once again. 

Two weeks passed after that, and on March 26, Guns signed with Geffen Records. That was it. That contract said they were serious and said they were starting to make it big. 

She went out with the boys that night to celebrate, drinking until late. Around 3 am she helped Izzy and Axl drag the other three back to their house. She was so wasted that she ended up passing out on the couch. 

The next morning she woke up to someone talking excitedly. She looked to her side and saw Duff on the phone. “Probably telling his mom.” she thought to herself. Closing her eyes she decided to sleep a bit more. 

Before she could sleep again, she felt someone shaking her. “Y/N! Wake up!” It was Duff. 

“What?” She said. Her voice raspy due to her sleepiness. “I called Jane and…” Before he could finish she interjected. “Who the fuck is Jane?” 

“Her friend, the one with black hair.” Y/N thought for a while. “The nice one?”

“Yeah Y/N, the nice one. Continuing… I told her we got the label and said I wanted to make her a surprise, and Jane said they are going to the amusement park tomorrow, so I guess I’m going too.” He laughed a little. 

Y/N didn’t say anything, because she had nothing nice to say. She just wanted to roll her eyes and say that he was being stupid, but decided to remain silent. 

“Can you paint my hair today? I want to look nice.” He was smiling like a child. “Fine, but only if you let me sleep.” He nodded fastly and left the living room.

She didn’t know why, but she felt a tightness in her heart. She thought about Duff and her together and she started to feel a certain sadness fill her chest. She sighed and covered her head with a pillow, hoping that she could sleep soon, so she wouldn’t have to think about that anymore. 

The afternoon arrived and she was awakened by Slash, who slightly touched her shoulder, telling her they had made lunch. She got up stretching her body and moving towards the kitchen. 

After lunch, she went to the drug store with Duff. They bought all the necessary products to bleach his hair and she had to hear him talking about her the whole way. She wanted so bad to throw the plastic bag with the products on his head and tell him to shut up, but decided against it. 

Back at the house, duff grabbed a chair and sat in front of the bathroom mirror with a bag of Doritos in his lap, while Y/N worked on his hair. 

All Along The Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix started playing on the small radio they took along. Y/N lightened a cigarette taking a drag from it while dancing. She loved Hendrix. 

She moved with every guitar note she listened, and Duff could do nothing but to watch her from the mirror, almost as if she had hypnotized him. She was the coolest girl he knew, with so much attitude and sweetness at the same time, he didn’t even know why, but she fascinated him in every single way.

He laughed as she stopped moving and started to pretend she was playing guitar. She was horrible at playing, Slash, Izzy and even him had tried teaching her, but she always got frustrated after a few minutes and damned that to hell.  The music came to an end, and she started to focus on Duff’s hair again.

After a good 1 hour, Duff's hair was done. He smiled at his reflection in the mirror and high fived Y/N, thanking her. They exited the bathroom and went to the backyard, where the boys were. 

Duff grabbed a beer and sat beside Axl and Izzy on the bench while Y/N moved to the grass area and started playing with Izzy’s dog. 

“Feeling ready to impress her now?” Axl asked. “Fuck yeah!”

“I still think you’re making a mistake by going after her.” Axl said and Duff frowned. “If she didn’t want to be with you while you were growing, she doesn’t deserve to be with you now.” 

“Cut it, man, you don’t know her” He replied while drinking from his beer. “And do you?” It was Izzy. Duff rolled his eyes and watched Y/N. She giggled while playing with the dog’s ears. 

"You know… I always thought you and Y/N would end up together" Axl said.

"Why?"

"I don't know man, but there is a strong connection between the two of you." Hearing that Duff looked back to Y/N, he saw she was now fake fighting with Slash and a small smile appeared on his lips.

"Plus, friends don't look at each other like that!"

"What do you mean?" Duff frowned.

"Like, the way you look at each other, is as if you loved each other." 

"Just like you were looking at her now." Izzy added.

Duff didn't say anything, he drank from his beer and started to think. Could he love Y/N in a way that friends shouldn't love each other?

[fuzziemutt]

Do You Understand ?

Chapter 8/9 - Link to MasterList in reblog

Summary: One more apology to go...

tw: unhealthy thinking. This one is also much lighter than the previous.

Connor took a deep breath. His coin flicked back and forth, leg bouncing methodically, body thrumming with an added anxious energy he wasn’t expecting to feel. He was just going to talk to Hank, Hank would... understand. Sure the old man got upset when Connor did anything “stupid” (or died) but everything would be fine. 

He was in an automated taxi making its way to the Ambassador Bridge where, on a whim, he messaged Hank he would meet up with him in two hours. The meeting with the leaders was just yesterday and it spurred him to fix things with Hank while he still felt (brave) optimal enough to do so. Nines wasn’t with him this time; he thought of asking him to join, but Connor felt this was too personal and had to do it on his own. He really hoped he didn’t regret this.

Arguably, this really wasn’t a good time to do this. Connor warily glanced out the window for the 50th time, watching the way the snow piled ever higher with the clouds threatening to release more of the terrible substance. Usually he was able to keep his stress levels relatively low, low being closer to 50 than 20 if he was honest, ever since the snow started up again roughly a month ago. However, today’s weather with the meeting from yesterday, the looming anniversary of his second deployment, and now his self assigned meet up with Hank didn’t help how nervous he felt about this all. He should have asked to meet at Hank’s house, but he felt that was crossing an invisible boundary even if he still kept Hank’s house key on him at all times. 

But he had to do this now as he knew he would go back to hiding if he didn’t, so he just kept pushing the fridgid memories down.

Before long, the taxi rolled to a stop, perfectly parked, uncaring of the android who needed another minute of breathing and rapid coin flicks till he climbed out. Hank wasn’t there yet, but Connor pushed down the spike of panic. The roads were still being cleared from the morning snow, it was fine, Hank also was human and couldn’t predict just how long it took to get everywhere. It was going to be fine. He needed to be careful with his stress levels today.

He made his way over to the bench he hasn’t seen in a long time. With that energy still thrumming, he went about pacing, almost jogging to get rid of the excess energy. He was all alone so he didn’t worry too much about being caught and just kept an eye out for that familiar Oldsmobile. The moment he caught its grey color getting closer, he made himself go and sit down on the bench staying as still as possible. He tried to not look too tense and instead inviting, he didn’t want to set Hank off about his internal struggles. This was about them, not about his past after all.

“Was kinda surprised to see your text,” a gruff voice said after the tell tale thunk of a car door closing. It sounded like Hank was trying to lighten the mood with the awkward laugh that followed, but the lack of response made the silence return. 

Hank came into Connor’s view not too long after that, awkward shuffling before he settled on the bench next to him. A bit of space between the two. Connor wasn’t sure where to start. Who should be apologizing here? He felt like he was supposed to be for some reason despite Hank having been the one who hurt him. This was confusing. Maybe he should have asked Nines to come with…

“So.. what’s up?” Hank offered up after a couple minutes. He was clearly uncomfortable if the way he kept glancing at Connor and his hands kept messing with his jacket said anything.

“I… I’m not sure how to go about this.”

“Go about what exactly?”

“This? I want… to fix our relationship.. I miss. I miss our conversations… and Sumo,” Connor ventured very unsure where to go. He added the last bit to lighten the mood, but it was also the truth. He hasn’t seen the dog since he moved out. 

Hank nodded and sat there thinking. He would be better at going about this Connor didn’t doubt.

“I won’t lie. I’m not the best at ‘emotional stuff’ like this, but I can see you’re strugglin’ so…” 

A chin scratch then throat clearing, “I know deviancy hasn’t been the easiest on you especially from what I could tell Cyberlife was like. I don’t know what happened that made you shut us all out for so long though. Would you mind telling me what the hell happened at that meeting before we go any further?” 

Oh. Oh yeah he never told Hank what happened did he? He knew Hank talked to Markus.. He didn’t think Markus would have left it vague. He honestly thought the leader would have laid out all the details for everyone to see. Interesting. He’s just stalling for time now.

“I wasn’t lying about how we were discussing what we would be doing with the androids that react negatively towards humans. I was suggesting that we make safe zones where humans would not be able to enter when North got upset,” Connor felt his hands clench together and nose wrinkle a bit, “She went on saying how I had no place in the conversation as I never supposedly have had bad relations with humans since I was so close to you. She said how I would never be able to.. Understand… their struggles.”

He let himself close his eyes and take a breath before continuing. There was no point in getting himself worked up again here.

“For the past several months, I’ve been treated time and time again like I have no say in anything. As if I never experienced emotions or the extent of cruelty humans can have. The constant use of that word it.. I felt something snap inside of me, and I let out my anger on them. I was too upset from months of frustration to stop myself. Afterwards, in a way I saw to protect myself from that horrible feeling, I shut everyone out.” 

He couldn’t stand to look at Hank anymore, taking up staring at the river instead. The river didn’t have eyes that could hold judgement. Distantly he was a bit surprised he managed to even say all of that so steadily.

“I see. Is that why you uhh.. Moved out of the house so quickly?” 

“Partially…” he caught a hand motioning ‘go on’ in the corner of his visuals. 

“You also did it. Using the word and discounting me. I mean. I wanted to be alone to process what happened and keep myself safe as mentioned, but I.. I didn’t want to do the same thing to you as well. So I left before I made anything worse.”

Connor closed his eyes ready for some sort of reprimand. He wasn’t sure why he expected to get punished when Hank had asked what happened, but he couldn’t help the dread that was sitting in his already anxious internal cavity. 

A muffled ‘fuck’ caught his attention and he opened his eyes again. Glancing over he saw that Hank was rubbing a hand on his face, looking at the ground with some sort of expression Connor couldn’t place. His eyes suddenly glanced up, looking into Connor.

“Look, kid. I’m sorry for what I’ve said,” mentally Connor ticked another mark of hearing the word sorry, “I know I still have my own issues to work through, but I should have watched what I said better. And before you go all ‘you couldn’t have predicted’ or whatever, it’s no excuse. I’m a grown ass man who should have seen how I was hurting you.” 

A sigh and another round of face rubbing. A nervous tick maybe? 

“I’m not going to pull you under the bus either by saying you should have told me you were feeling that way. Because I think we both know that whatever Cyberlife did fucked you up real good, and you never would have said shit as long as you could. So. I fucked up and I can’t guarantee I’ll do better, but I sure as hell will try.” 

Connor let those words settle a bit. He didn’t look as openly sorry as Nines but his eyes spoke more volume. Hank has been there since the revolution. He wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine obviously, he still had bad days and relapses, but he did try. He helped Connor whenever he asked what seemed like obvious questions about emotions and human interactions. He would get Connor’s mind off the past on bad days, awkwardly but still there. 

“I accept your apology. I’m not sure if I can say I can trust you the same amount as before, but I don’t want to push you away anymore.”

Hank’s shoulders slumped in relief a bit and a one sided smile joined it. It didn’t last long as he soon looked around, hesitant about something.

“Would… Would you want to move back in?” 

“No.. not now.. I’m not sure if I ever would like to move back with you, Hank. I miss the feeling of home your house brings me but I.. I’m still scared of getting hurt again. I also enjoy the privacy my apartment brings me.” 

Hank seemed to slump a bit from what he assumed was sad disappointment, but he nodded seriously. 

“I’ll still visit when I get the chance. I wasn’t lying when I said I miss Sumo,” Connor kind of blurted a bit quickly. He didn’t want his friend thinking he was only going to tolerate him at work.

A gruff laugh, “He misses you too, son” and a hand messing up Connor’s gelled hair (which he did not mope about in any sense). 

-

The lingering dread and fear from the snow lasted with him the whole time him and Hank spoke after that. But it wasn’t as overwhelming. Hank didn’t stay much longer, getting up complaining about how he was too old for this shit and needed to get home before his joints shattered which Connor helpfully informed at what temperature that could actually happen. 

Connor did accept the offer for a ride to his apartment. He turned down the offer to see Sumo. He wanted to see the big lump of fur, but he used up a lot of energy trying to keep his stress levels stable all day and wanted to rest by himself for a bit. Hank didn’t take too much offense to it it seems at least.

[coolpolarbear123]

Band Camp Day 3

"we can either be the picconets or the clarilos." "The picc-a-nut?" "clarilo it is"

August 17th, 2021

<< 3 >>

forgive me if this is short:

4 hours of sleep later, we're heading to the field with literal mugs of coffee in hand to start the senior prank

the prank today: hanging underwear on the band director's podium

it's a tradition. I've probably mentioned it in past posts

at 8:30, we start, I'm more anxious than ever bc of all the drama

practice, fundamentals, the works

ML2 doesn't clap for the DI's and it freaks me out bc I know it's bc she hates that I have it

I've literally been texting the picc drum major (her roommate) about it all of band camp

my marching today??? absolutely awful. I could barely pay attention or anything

it's ML2's bday!! so I have been trying to mention it a lot and get her recognition so that maybe she's not as angry at me

We got put in a temporary band block yesterday and it's??? terrible? I'd like for the temporary part to end bc we're still using it

today I did a lot of messing up, and I feel really bad and gross about it

there's been this issue that when we do stuff in our big band block, someone in the middle will mess up, and by the time it gets to the ends of the block (us, the piccs), it's a huge mess, and we get blamed

this happened and our DM (the other one, the one who plays alto) was like "I know when I'm wrong" and we were scrambling to figure out where we were supposed to be

lunch!

people from random sections have been eating with us. This is fine, but?? it seems really early. Do you guys even know your own sections?

full band rehearsal! it was uneventful

our first playing sectionals! we stickered our nametags, then played through a lot of songs

we actually did really well, which is probably because we're mostly returners (re: one freshman)

and!! we were worried that our SL was gonna be super nitpicky and she's not! she's super reasonable!

back to full band rehearsal. Our band director made us watch a bunch of videos?? like they were sorta related to what we were doing but eh

I've been doing a lot of exchanging glances with the alto drum major. Mostly about ML2

we also?? have to move section bonding? which usually happens on Thursday night? I told our section leader that she needs to take that day off from her CA stuff, but she didn't, and now she works that night. Finding a replacement was aggravating, and we chose an hour and a half window on Sunday

that's not enough time, and it's... mediocre at best, really

it doesn't leave much space for fun things

dinner! the other librarian staff person is very well known for making really weird food combos that are super gross, and she is on a roll this week, lemme tell ya

a couple days ago it was coffee and chicken, there was cake and meat sauce at one point, etc

"If I can eat it, it's not a dog"

after dinner was more marching

our band director said he was writing pregame drill tonight, which means us drill librarian staff will have our hands full in the morning

did i mention the IMMENSE AMOUNT OF ANXIETY i have about being leadership bc of certain other members in the section?

it's so bad that our section leader had to give us the "don't talk about other members behind their back" speech

we did our singing at the end, and the 5th years led. One of my best friends is a 5th year, and there's only, like, 5 total, and it was really cute

very last of the real ones

and then we flash mobbed the hey song to scare the freshmen, like we do every year, even though we usually do it in the band room

our freshman caught on to the movements fairly well

the night activity was the scavenger hunt!

on the drive to the main part of campus, i asked if we are still doing the "not last" chant, and ML2 was like "I think the other sections get annoyed at it"

I texted our DM bc I was sad that we're retiring the chant

we get out of the car and the piccs aren't sitting in their usual spot which is like the icing on the cake for my stress rn

and then my SL comes up to me and is like "I'm gonna start the chant" "did [DM] talk to you?" "yeah, and I wanna do it" "let's just... wait and see"

but then later, one of the piccs started it, so at least we chanted it and I'm not the only one who cares

the clarinets only had one returner show up (one of my really good friends), so they requested to combine with a different section, and the piccolos all raised their hands up after a moment and shouted "PICCOLOS" so they joined us!

it was sorta scary bc that's a lot of people? we had all 10 of us, and there was a good amount of them, and we only have 15 minutes to run around and do things

but literally no one else wanted them (one of the clarinet freshmen even begged the drumline to take them) and we're friends with them, so

the scavenger hunt began, and SL did an amazing job of leading. I got to help with it! i called out prompts

and DANG were we efficient

we werent even late to getting back

usually while the scores are being calculated, we dick around, and every section did plenty of that, including us, but it was kinda awkward bc the senior piccs wanted no part of it

i was upset bc why can't we just,,, not separate ourselves like that. Why do we have to be different and extra and not social

I stayed with the seniors bc I was more scared of leaving them, but I was annoyed

after scores were calculated and we were all standing together, I went around and said "reminder! all we want is not last" and I get back to my place where I was standing to hear the seniors just like "idc what we get, I just wanna go home"

cool thanks

but we didn't get last!! and we did sorta scream bc that's huge!

last place had 41 points

AND THEN WE DIDN'T GET SECOND TO LAST

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOKS ON OUR FACES

but then we

DIDN'T GET THIRD TO LAST EITHER

at this point we're holding our breath, not screaming, just giving each other Looks

how well did we do? we had such a big section

fast forward to them announcing fourth place, and that wasn't us either, we were all whispering about how we ranked. No matter what, we were first, second, or third, and that's like getting a medal

and we weren't third

"first place had significantly more photos"

that kinda where we all accepted that we got second

and WE FUCKING WON WITH 81 POINTS

WE

WON

WE WON MY FRESHMAN YEAR AND NOW MY SENIOR YEAR

THAT'S H U G E

piccolos don't win things

we don't even know the clarinets

we called ourselves the clarilos

we're so fckn stoked about our win, guys, it hasn't even set in, really

NOT LAST NOT LAST NOT LAST

[roxasbelongswithsora-blog]

How to NOT Ask Out Your Former Nobody

[ #Soroku after all Sora does basically own's Roxas heart body and soul but was still willing to make sure Roxas got to be his OWN person and Sora is the sky while Roxas is his sunset .]

𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝒾𝒹𝑒 𝓂𝑒

𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝐹𝑜𝓇 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓂𝒶𝒹𝑒 𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒫𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓁𝑒𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝑔𝑜 𝐼 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝐼'𝓂 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝓃𝒶 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶 𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝑒𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓂𝑒

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝐼'𝓂 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝓃𝒶 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓎

𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒸𝓁𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑒𝒶𝓇, 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝐼'𝓂 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝓃𝒶 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶 𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝑒𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓂𝑒

Saira smiled watching the two boys sit together on a bench both of them so clearly happy to be next to each other while eating the ice cream they had both ordered at the stand in town during the Dream Festal the feeling of Ventus grabbing her left hand to hold made her turn to look up at him with a shy smile then once he returned it with a soft chuckle both Princess and Knight turned back to watching Sora & Roxas ...who now seemed to be arguing over something on the Blond's Gummi Phone while unknown to both boys there Donald Fizz had started to melt. With a long sigh, Saira watched how Ventus went running over as soon keyblades had been brought into the small argument while Saira started to remember how this whole day could have never happened for them if Sora had not asked her for help she still could remember it like yesterday.

It all started on a normal Sunday afternoon inside of Disney Castle were inside of the Princess's bedroom sat a bored out of her mind Saira leaning on the chaise lounge with her head resting on her right hand while looking out of the large stained glass double doors leading outside to her balcony while in the background she could hear how her instructor Clarabelle Cow was going off on another lesson of royal duties when suddenly the sound of a Gummi ship engine flying past her window outside made her smile and grabbing her dress skirts had gotten up and raced over to pull open the doors and then stood outside on the balcony while leaning over the railing watching as the ship had landed in the courtyard and a brunette had walked out of the ship's hub alone and that was very odd for just Sora to visit by himself.

⭐HEY THERE SORA! ...WHAT DO YOU NEED ..DONT TELL ME THAT YOU MISSED ME THAT MUCH ALREADY? ⭐

Sora blinked and looked left & right until he found where her voice was coming from and with a bright smile raced over to right under her balcony and cupped his hands around his mouth.

☁️ HEY THERE SAIRA ...C-COULD WE TALK IT'S ABOUT ROXAS ?! ☁️

Saira blinked and then nodded down at him before heading back inside of her room and casting a Stopza on Clarabelle Cow to make it seem like her lesson was still going on if anyone of the castles other maids had happened to pass by her bedroom while she would be gone then raced back outside onto the balcony.

 ⭐ HEY SORA HOW GOOD ARE YOU AT CATCH ?! ⭐

☁️ UH...IM PRETTY GOOD. AT IT WHY?.... HOLLY GUMMI BLOCK'S DONT JUMP! ☁️

But it was too late because Saira was already falling and all the while poor Sora was trying not to freak out as he rushed foreword with open arms to have the girl land right in his arms only for the weight from the dress having knocked both down over into the grass while Saira was busy laughing at him while Sora sent a glare at her once both had stood back up.

☁️ ARE YOU CRAZY DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT VENTUS WOULD HAVE DONE TO ME IF YOU GOT HURT ?!  ☁️

⭐ oh calm down you know Ventus could never kill anyone. ⭐

Sora stood in shock his face drained of color and then blinked.

☁️ K-kill.....YOU MEAN HE WOULD HAVE KILLED ME ?! ☁️

⭐ UH....no not kill ..but he very much would have seriously harmed you he has kinda become over worried about my safety after my whole death and weird resurrection, Anyway you wanted to talk to me about Roxas ..so what is it something to do with his schoolwork because I thought Olette was good at making sure the boys stayed on track with that stuff? ⭐

Sora had claimed down at the whole threat of death over his head and once the color had returned to his face he started to play with his fingers while glancing at the ground and had started to stutter.

☁️ N-no...uh..it had nothing to do with his schoolwork .... it's about h-how I think ...I'm in love with him ..a-and could u-use some help on h-how to ask him out?  ☁️

Saira smiled bright to the surprise of Sora and then grabbed his left hand and pulled him along threw the large doors leading back inside of the castle where they both had snuck into the tea room .

𝔒𝔫𝔢 𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔯

Sora had found himself sitting across from Saira on a couch while Pluto had jumped up to lay down next to the boy the dog had by now placed his head into the brunette's lap the room was quiet until Roxanne had walked in with a soft smile and had placed a tray of Tarte Aux Fruits with Blueberry tea on the small table in the middle of them then with a bow she had left leaving both Sora and Saira alone with Pluto as there only company.

⭐ SO!~ Sora tell me just you found out about these feelings you hold for Roxas? ⭐

Sora had paused drinking his tea and enjoying his Tarte Aux Fruits and while staring into the teacup started to blush then closed his eyes and placed his left hand over his heart and softly smiled.

☁️ It’s funny how a heart could be so full yet so empty before I had saved everyone there used to be so much support from Xion...even when I had no clue about her and then there was Ventus who had been with me from the start of my whole crazy journey ..t-then there is Roxas...who I had unknowingly depended on for so much ..then there was even Vanitas who had hidden inside of the darkest parts of my heart ....but after everyone had left to go live there own life ...I had me wondering just what purpose did my life mean now ..and sometimes there would be moments that I would just wander off and find a place to sit and think.☁️

Saira tilted her head and stopped sipping her tea and then set the plate back on the tray to lean foreword when Sora blinked and then glanced at her with a shy smile his eyes now open and showing the happiness in them.

☁️Once I started to think about it the memory of waking up inside of the pod room back in Twilight Town came to me ...the voice that called out my name ..it sounded so sad yet curious ...after waking up the unanswered question of who it the voice belonged to had always been at the back of my mind ......it was not until after fighting with him at The World That Never Was and he had rejoined with me did it hit me that the voice had belonged to him ...after that during the rest of the journey there were times when I tried so hard to talk to him. But he seemed so cold ..and always responded with a quick " leave me alone Sora ' and that hurt b-because I felt it was all my fault. ☁️

Saira gasped and quickly got up to move next to him to rub the tears that started to slide down his face with a soft smile she sat down next to him.

⭐Sora ...Roxas didn't ever blame you for what happened to him ...yes at first he tried so hard to refuse his fate but Sora...once he had joined again with you ..he told me that there was never a place that he had been that had felt so warm and safe ...like a home he never had ...it was a safe haven for him ...he has no hate for you.⭐

☁️ Y-yeah ...I know that n-now...b-because there were times that I could feel it ...l-like during my mark of mastery exam ...we got to talk ..and he explained everything to me .....THEN ..oh my GOD SAIRA ..that soft warm smiled he gave me ...my heart just about DIED! ...and he held my hands! ..That ..is when I knew that deep inside me there were feelings for him.☁️

 ⭐Hmm and ..what was the point that set things off making you want to come and ask me for help?⭐

Sora blushed and smiled remembering the point he had first got a chance to have a few moments to talk with Roxas after everyone had met outside of the keyblade graveyard and just how light the blond was when Sora had picked him up in a hug while unknown to Sora the blond had become flustered at the touch.

☁️ Well it is because during my last visit in Twilight Town  me and Ventus were waiting around at the sandlot for when Roxas would be done with school for the day after a little around 6:23 we spotted Xion walking with Olette soon enough Hayner & Pence showed up talking with Isa and Lea ...after we all got caught up on how our life's had been the girls had went off to go shopping while Lea and Isa wanted to check out the new dishes at Le Grand Bistrot ..so that left only Roxas me and Ventus alone in the sandlot talking about how our weekend was going to be spent when Roxas walked over to me and pulled out a small bag of handmade  chocolate and said something along the lines of " Here I made to much yesterday so Im handing some out to everyone ...anyway so " And of course I was not going to pass up the chance to have free candy so of course I took it ...although I could have sworn that Ventus did speak up about not getting any and before Id knew it Ventus was running away from Roxas who for some reason had his keyblades out , ..W-Well later when Ventus and me were getting ready to head back home ...he told me that Roxas had threated to freeze his mouth shut if he ever blew his cover again. ☁️  

⭐ Aw Sora the handmade chocolate was a small sign that Roxas has feelings for you as well ...and yeah Ventus came here a day later whining about being scared for his life about Roxas killing him ....Anyway you wanted help right?  ⭐

Sora nodded his blue eyes just begging for some help while his face stayed pink.

 ⭐ Alright so my idea would be to start with asking Roxas to lunch at the Le Grand Bistrot get something simple not to fancy ...then walk around a little bit maybe stop at sunset hill to check out the view then later on head up to the clock tower and spend the rest of the day up there then offer to go and buy ice cream while you are out getting the ice cream you should go and get something synthesized ... an item that could show the bond you too will share from then on ⭐

☁️THAT'S A GREAT IDEA OH GOSH I ALREADY HAVE IT ALL PLANED OUT OKAY! I'd better get going then thank you so much Saira your the best Princess in the world I have ever met! ☁️

Saira watched as Sora rushed around to leave nearly knocking over the table in the process once she heard the Gummi ship take off a relaxing sigh left her lips...that was until Max found her.

𝔒𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔨 𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔦𝔫 𝔗𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔗𝔬𝔴𝔫

Roxas sighed while checking his Gummi phone while waiting for Sora outside of the usual spot the blond was just about to head back inside when the sight of brown spikey locks came rushing around the corner of the ally once getting close enough Roxas saw his jacket was ripped and raised an eyebrow at it.

☁️ S-Sorry. I was late the train caught the end of my jacket! so all ready for that lunch? ☁️

🍦 If you would have been any later it would end up being a dinner date 🍦

☁️ HAHAA! ..PFFH Y-YEAH...s-sure...ALRIGHT LET'S GO! ☁️

Sora grabbed the blond's left hand and dragged him along to the Le Grand Bistrot all the while Roxas would stumble while trying to pull his hand back but would end up failing to do so until nearly three blocks away Sora would trip over his own two feet and fall flat on his face while Roxas watched and tried so hard not to laugh, Once both boys had picked their table out and had ordered Ratatouille & Filet Mignon Poêlé they started up small talk ...that was until Sora had coked on his ice cream soda drink and made Roxas laugh so hard he fell over in his chair and the effect had caused Sora to have soda leak out his nose.

𝔄𝔱 𝔰𝔲𝔫𝔰𝔢𝔱 𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔩

🍦 Are you sure your nose is alright ...you did end up having only half of that drink left? 🍦

☁️ Roxas, I'm fine! ..but what about you that fall looked like it kinda hurt I'm sorry for laughing at you ☁️

🍦 Nah ...don't be it was pretty funny I'm sure everyone else would have laughed too...the Sun never sets in this world...but its something I'm used to by now ...but just for once I would love to see the stars at night 🍦

 ☁️ ..W-well if you ever want to back on my island the stars shine brightly each night but always twinkle differently  ☁️

🍦 Really?...hmm...yeah that sounds very nice thank you Sora. 🍦   

After spending most of the afternoon at sunset hill Sora & Roxas headed up to the clock tower to hang out on the ledge talking about what worlds each had visited in the past until Sora got up and offered to by ice cream for them both with a promise of a deal that Roxas got to buy next time the brunette raced off heading back into the main market first stopping at a Moggle shop and handing over his crown necklace and Roxas's small spikey symbol that he had stolen when the blond was not looking once, then left to buy the two sea salt ice creams after paying for them he quickly headed back to the Moggle shop and picked up the items soon enough he was racing back up the clock tower.

☁️ Here! sorry if it seemed I was taking to long ☁️

 🍦 Nope your just fine Sora ...and thank you again for buying 🍦  

Once both boys were done and had started to watch the sunset Sora pulled the items from his left side pocket and was blushing a bright shade of pink while holding out the blonds spikey symbol with a shy smile.

  ☁️ I  got them both enchanted so that when either one of us is in danger or needs help it shall light up a soft blue color ...a-and I d-did this...b-because ...because ...B-BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ROXAS! ☁️

Roxas gave off the same soft smile just like before and leaned foreword pressing a soft kiss to the other's lips and held the gift close

 🍦 I love you too Sora ..thank you.🍦

[novannna]

Hungry For You

First fic for Nobell Renaissance!  I procrastinated and forgot to post it yesterday, but here it is.  

this takes place in the hunger games universe.  Nova is a girl from District twelve and she is selectd in the reaping.  Danna is a career tribute from district two. 

this is definetly not my best writing(i kinda hate it but...) 

tw:death, blood, violence, suicide

word count:3408

Nova stood among countless other children, all of them looking grimly at the cheerful woman on the stage.  Effie Trinket.  She looked completely ridiculous, dressed in an enormous poofy, bright orange dress and a towering hat.  Her lips were painted an unnerving red.  Nova shuddered.  It looked almost like blood.  She was saying something in her shrill capitol accent, introducing the mayor, Nova was pretty sure.  He stepped up to the microphone and looked out onto the silent crowd.  He started to talk.  

The mayor droned on, reciting the history of Panem.  Nova glanced around, bored out of her mind.  She looked over to see Adrian, her best friend looking over at her.  He lifted his hand and waved slightly.  Nova smiled, then stopped. She remembered where she was.  Two children were about to be sentenced to death.  One of them could even be her.  

The mayor stepped away from the mike and Effie Trinket stepped up to take his place.  She reached her claw-like fingernails into the first glass bowl and grasped for a slip of paper.  Nova knew that at least twenty of those papers had Nova Artino written on them in delicate script.  

“Happy hunger games, and may the odds be ever in your favor,”  Effie trilled.  She pulled out a slip of paper.  

“Nova Artino.”  The words didn’t register in her ears.  She looked around to see everyone looking at her, sadness and relief in their eyes.  Why are they looking at me like that?  She wondered.  Adrian was looking at her with horror and she could see tears in his eyes.  

“Nova Artino, could you please come up here?”  That's when it all hit her.  Like a gunshot in the chest.  She lifted her chin and marched forwards, her body numb.  She was going to the Hunger Games.  And she was going to die.  

---

Danna watched the other reapings from a small couch in a train car. She grinned.  No one really looked like they would be a threat to her. She had been training for years, trying to gain a spot in the Hunger Games.  She glanced out the window, trying to see as much as possible.  The landscape looked so different from District Two.  

Danna turned her back to the screen, and her lip curled.  District twelve.  Every year, the tributes died in the first few hours, if not minutes.  The crowd was silent watching the idiotic woman bob around like a chicken.  The woman… Effie Trinket, that's her name, reached into the ball holding countless names and called out.  Nova Artino.  A small girl with short black hair and tan skin looked up.  Fear flitted across her features, then quickly vanished.  She marched up to the stage and turned and faced the crowd.  Danna leaned forward, enraptured by this strange girl.  There was something about her that she couldn’t place.  She seemed familiar almost.  Danna shook her head.  What was she thinking?  Just another nameless girl that she would kill to secure her win.  This was all she had ever wanted anyways.  Right?

---

Nova stood on her chariot next to her district partner dressed up in a black unitard.  Flames flickered up and down her body, and Nova swallowed down her fear.  

“You okay?”  Oscar asked.  He was dressed the same as her.  

“Yeah.  It's just all a bit…”  she searched for the right word.  “Overwhelming.”  

He smiled.  “I know what you mean.  Try and enjoy it though.  Could be the last few days left alive.”  

Nova glared at him.  “Thanks.  Exactly what I needed to hear.”  

He shrugged. Then let out a low whistle.  “What's district two doing all the way over here?”  

Nova looked to see a girl marching over to them.  She was dressed in a metallic gray dress, with a slit up the leg.  Her blonde hair was pulled back into a low bun and her eyes glowered fiercely at Nova.  Nova blushed and ducked her head.  

“What the hell are you doing over here?” Nova growled.  

The girl smirked.  “Just wanted to look around.  I don’t think that I have much to worry about, at least from district twelve.”  She smiled lazily.  Nova felt fire burning though her.  

“Just because we aren’t the Capitols lap dogs doesn’t mean we don’t stand a chance.  You better watch yourself,” She shouted at her.  

“Nova..” Oscar cautioned.  People were starting to look towards them.  “Leave it.”  

“I’ll see you later,” the girl said.  She wiggled her fingers and slipped back towards her chariot, hips stuck out jauntily.  

“You should have let me at her.  I’ll give her a piece of my mind!” Nova said to Oscar.  

“You can’t fight now, it's against the rules.  Save that anger for the arena.”

“You're probably right.  I’m just so sick of people treating us like we’re less than, just because we didn’t volunteer, like those idiots.”  She shot a glance at the careers.

“Come on.  It's starting,” Oscar said gently.  Nova sighed and lifted her chin.  She pasted a smile onto her face and waved at the screaming crowd.  She wanted to scream.  Repulsive.  Everything about the Capitol was completely, utterly repulsive. 

---

Danna hurled her spear straight through the dummy's chest from twenty yards back.  She smiled proudly.  She turned, feeling eyes staring at her and saw Nova glaring at her from across the room.  She stood by the shelter building station, a half built hammock stood next to her.  Danna looked away, trying to ignore the heat spreading across her cheeks.  

She moved on, trying a new station.  Archery.  Dann listened as the attendant explained how to use the bow, her foot tapping impatiently against the ground.  Finally, Danna strung her bow and pulled the string back.  And let go.  The arrow stuck the outside of the target and stuck, wavering in the air.  Someone scoffed.  Danna turned and saw Nova laughing at her.  She walked over and strung her own bow and pulled back the arrow.  She let it fly.  Bullseye.  Danna’s cheeks reddened once more, but she couldn’t tell whether it was from shame, or something else entirely.  

“You’re good at that,” Danna said quietly.  

Nova raised an eyebrow.  “I thought that people from district twelve were not going to be a problem to you.”  

“They won't be.”  Danna hardened her face and turned away.  

Nova laughed.  Her laugh was so soft, like trickling water.  “Alright then.”  She turned and left, heading towards another station.  Danna watched her through the corner of her eye all day.  She knew she should be preparing herself for the games, but she was drawn to Nova.  It was almost magnetic.  

---

Nova stood on the metal plate as it rose out of the ground.  The warm sunlight hit her skin.  She smiled for a second, then remembered everything.  She scanned her surroundings.  All 24 tributes stood on metal disks surrounding the cornucopia.  A lake gleamed not far to the right and a large forest rustled  behind the cornucopia.  That was where Nova should head.  But the bright gleam of weapons and supplies gleamed at the cornucopia…

Nova saw Danna standing across from her, already in a running stance, just waiting for the gong to sound.  She saw Nova staring at her and let out a dazzling smile.  Nova felt her breath catch and almost missed it when the gong did soud.  She recovered quickly and darted forwards. She grabbed a backpack and belt of knives, along with a large flask.  Nova sprinted towards the woods, ready to get as far away from the bloodshed as possible.  A knife whizzed past her head, nicking her ear.  Nova turned to see Danna sprinting towards her, her arms full of knives.  Nova ducked as she hurled her next one.  

“Better get back to the cornucopia,” Nova drawled.  “All the good stuff will be gone if you waste your time with me.”  Danna glanced back.  Then fixated her stormy eyes on Nova.  

“I’ll kill you,” She growled, then sprinted back towards the fight. 

Nova kept running, not daring to stop until she couldn’t hear anything but the woods around her.  She opened her pack and looked inside.  A small first aid kit, a bag of dried meat, a container of crackers, water purification tablets.  The flask was about halfway full with water, and the belt of knives had at least five different blades. 

“Better watch out, Danna,”  she snarled.  “This bitch from district twelve is coming for you.”  

---

Danna trudged through the woods, searching for tributes.  She and three other careers had been combing the woods for at least three days now.  In the original bloodbath, the boy from district four had been killed, but all the other careers survived.  Then, the next day, Danna’s district partner had slipped and broke his neck crossing a river.  

“Girl from three, both from nine, girl from eleven and girl from twelve, right?”  Danna asked.  “Those are the only ones left?”

“Yeah.”  Leila, the girl from district one said.  She had a reedy high pitched voice.  

“Come on, let's find them,”  Danna said.  She picked up her pace, and the others followed.  A branch snapped, and they whirled around.  

“Dammit,” a quiet voice mumbled.  Danna hefted her spear up and motioned for Leila to circle around the tree.  

“Come out,” Danna said.  “You can’t hide from us.”  She  walked forward, towards the tree the voice had come from.  She walked around and… nothing.  Whoever it was disappeared.  

“What the hell!”  Leila exclaimed.  “What's going on-”  her words were cut short.  A knife protruded from  below her ribs and blood burbled out of her mouth.  She collapsed down and a cannon sounded.  

“Oops.”  Nova stood ten feet away, knives in her hands.  “Told you not to count twelve out.”  

“Get her,” Owen, Leila’s district partner screamed.  

“No!”  Danna wanted to respond.  She didn’t want to see Nova’s dead body.  The careers charged forward, snarling.  Nova ran, but she wasn’t going to be fast enough, Danna could tell.  Before she could stop herself, she threw herself in front of the careers.  

“Go!”  She shouted to Nova, who was staring open mouthed at her.  “Run!”  Nova wasted no time and darted away.  

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Danna?”  

“Something incredibly heroic or incredibly stupid,” she muttered.  She jabbed her spear at them and they jumped back.  

“It's two against one,” Owen smiled cruelly.  “I think that we stand a pretty good chance.”  He drew out his sword, the metal gleaming in the sun.  “You’re gonna pay for letting that bitch go.”  Danna swallowed nervously.  “I know.”  

---

A cannon sounded.  

“No!”  Nova cried out then clamped her hands over her mouth.  That was probably Danna.  She had for some reason stopped the tributes for killing her, and now she was dead.  A tear tracked its way down Nova’s cheek and she leaned against the tree, her body heaving with sobs.  Watching the games back home, through a tv, had seemed awful, but the reality?  The reality was so much worse.  

She had to move.  The careers would be searching for her.  She didn’t have time to grieve, especially for someone she barely knew.  

“Keep moving, Nova,” she whispered to herself.  She wiped her eyes, and started to walk again, heading as far away from the careers as possible.  

When she settled down at night, crooked in the branches of a large tree she let the tears spill from her eyes.  Let the audience think of her as weak.  She didn’t need anything from them.  The anthem played and the dead were projected in the sky.  Nova braced herself for Danna;s face to show but it never came.  The girl from 1, the boy from three, the girl from four and the boy from eleven.  Danna was not dead.  

“You're alive!”  Nova whispered as she carefully slipped to the ground.  “You're alive, and I’m gonna find you.”  

---

Danna opened her eyes to see a familiar face shaking her. 

“Nova?” She asked blearily.  

“Shhhh.  It's me.  You're gonna be okay.”  Nova smiled, and Danna’s heart fluttered.  “You got hurt pretty bad though.  I’m gonna move you to that clump of rocks over there.”  Nova pointed out a clump of boulders, dark lumps in the night.  

“Okay.”

“1..2..3..”  Nova heaved Danna upwards.  Danna winced as her knee buckled, refusing to bear weight.  Somehow, they made it to the rocks and Nova laid Danna down.  She cleaned Danna’s cut and bandaged it carefully.  

“Why’d you come back for me?”  Danna asked.  

Nova looked at her, her blue eyes meeting Danna’s.  “I don’t know.”  She took a breath.  “Why did you stop them from killing me?”

Danna smiled a little.  “I don’t know.”  She reached up and cupped Nova’s head in her hand.  “But I’ve got a pretty good idea.”  She pulled Nova in for a deep kiss.  Electricity tingled along her spine.  

“Seems like solid reasoning,” Nova laughed breathless when they broke apart.  She leaned back down and traced Dannas mouth.  Danna shuddered.  

“What about the Capitol?”  Nova whispered.  “We can’t… be together.”  

“Screw the Capitol.  I love you,” Danna whispered back and pulled Nova in for another kiss.  

Nova’s warm arms wrapped around her and she let the tension out of her body.  

“Sleep,”  Nova said.  “I’ll keep watch.”  

“Fine.  Wake me up so you can sleep.”  

“Yeah yeah.  Now sleep.” Nova pushed Danna’s head down.  

---

A cannon fired, startling Nova awake.  She let out a breath when she saw Danna, safe beside her.  

“Who do you think?”  Nova asked.  

“I don’t know.  Could be anyone.”  

“How’s your leg?”  Nova sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.  

“Fine.  A little stiff, but it can kinda hold weight.  I won’t be able to travel very far though.”  Danna smiled.  “There’s only six people left Nova!  We can do it!”  

“Yeah.  But what if it is down to the two of us?  We can’t both win.  We-”  Danna pressed her finger down onto Nova’s lips.  

“Don’t worry about it.  We can worry about that when the time comes.”  She kissed Nova’s lips. 

Nova sighed. “Fine.  What’s the plan?”  

“We should gather food, as much of it as we can.  Maybe, we could head towards the edge of the arena and hideout there,” Danna suggested.  

“Alright.  Let's get started.”  Nova hopped up and held out her hand to Danna.  Danna grabbed it and pulled herself up.  

“Let's get started,” Danna echoed.  

Nova grasped Danna’s palm firmly and they started to walk.  They told each other stories about their lives in their own district.  

“The people at the Capitol are probably going crazy,” Danna whispered.  “To have two tributes from different districts fall in love…”

Nova smirked.  “Especially since they’re both girls.  It will be a fun mess when we get home.”  We.  not I.  Not you.  We.  

“They won’t be able to stop us from being together, no matter what, right?”  Danna said.  

“Right.”  Nova kissed her nose lightly.  

A branch cracked behind them, and they both whirled around.  The tribute from eleven stood behind them, a stick in her hands.  Danna grabbed a knife and threw it straight into the girls chest in one motion.  She drew in a shaky breath.  

“We let our guard down,” she said to Nova.  Nova nodded, breathless.  A cannon sounded.  

“A little bit closer to home.”  

“Home.”  Danna sighed.  “District two isn’t really my home.”

“Then where is it?”

“Anywhere with you.”  she smiled sappily at Nova.

Nova smiled.  “You hopeless romantic.”  

“You're one to talk.”  

“Oh shut up.”  She shoved her shoulder playfully.  

---

Rain poured outside and thunder boomed.  Danna crawled over to Nova and put her arm around her.  

“The tributes from three and nine are dead,” Nova said in a flat tone.  “It's just us and Owen left.”

“Hey, that's good right?  It means we’re almost there.”  Danna nestled her head into Nova’s shoulder.  “We only need to kill one more person.”  

“Yeah. I’m just worried about us.”  Nova turned towards Danna and she could see the fear gleaming in her eyes.  “The president won’t let us be a thing.  I don’t think that we will both be able to leave the arena.”  

Danna squeezed Nova’s hand.  “Problems for later remember.  Just killing Owen is what we need to focus on.”  

“Yes ma’am,” Nova joked, a faint smile etched onto her lips.  

“He’ll be out looking for us.  I know it.”  

“So why bother looking for him? Why not just wait for him to find us?”  

Danna straightened.  “The cornucopia.  We should head there.  We may find some supplies, and it would be a good place to stay.  It's sheltered and easy to guard.”

“Perfect.”  Nova smiled.  “It's about a day’s walk, so we should start now.”  

“Agreed.”  Danna glanced around, to see if they forgot anything.  “Lets go.”  

“Lets go kill that bastard.”  Nova’s eyes gleamed as water streamed down her face.  Her hair was plastered to her forehead, her eyes sparkled with excitement.  “He shouldn’t have messed with my girlfriend!”  

Danna froze.  She turned to Nova, a small smile on her face. 

“That is… are we officially a couple?”  Nova asked, slightly uncertain.  “Cause I had kinda assumed, but I never really asked.”  She cleared her throat awkwardly.  “Danna, will you be my girlfriend?”  

Danna threw her arms around Nova and squeezed her tightly to her.  “Yes!”  A grin split her face.  She pressed her lips firmly against Nova’s.  “Yes, I will be your girlfriend.  I love you Nova.”  

“Good, because that would have been awkward otherwise.”  Nova laughed nervously.  “Now come on, girlfriend.  We have people to kill.”  Nova grasped Danna’s hand and her heart raced.  

“Indeed we do.  Let's go find Owen, so we can finally get out of here!  The Hunger Games will not keep us for much longer, I promise you that Nova Artino,” Danna said.  

“I’ll hold you to that,” Nova warned.  

“I would expect nothing less,” Danna replied.  She kissed Nova’s cheek, and they walked hand in hand towards the cornucopia.

---

Owen waited for them there,his hands resting on his knees.  He looked at the two of them with disgust.  

“So that's why you betrayed us, Danna,” he called out.  “To go fuck some girl from distict twelve.”  He spat the last words out with disgust.  

Danna stepped forwards, already reaching for her knives.  “I don’t really care what you think, but did I really betray you?  The second everyone else was dead, you were planning on planting a knife in my own back.”  

“So?  That's how the games work.”  He let out a laugh.  “Or did you forget that it's all a game.”

Nova had had enough.  “It's not a game.  Its survival.  Back home, it's a death sentence, for you it's a chance to prove yourself.  You really think that this is all some game?” Nova asked, incredulous.  “Come on Danna.  Let's go home.”  SHe pulled out two knives.  They looked at each other, eyes meeting.  Danna nodded once.  They charged at Owen together.  He fended off both their blows and struck some of his own.  He was fast and strong, but against two skilled opponents, he was beginning to tire. Danna put a gash across his leg and Nova stabbed his arm.  He began to lag, his sword strokes getting weaker and sloppier.  Finally, he tripped backwards, his sword skittering across the ground.  Danna plunged her dagger into his heart.  

“We did it,” Nova said.  “We won.”  The cannon sounded.  They embraced each other, tears spilling out of their eyes.  

“No..  we didn’t win.”  Danna realized, with growing horror.  “There are two people still alive.”

Nova understood.  “I’ll die.  I don’t want to live without you.”

“No!”  Danna shouted.  “I don’t want to live without you.”  She pressed her forehead against Nova’s and whispered, “Please.  Let me die.  You can live your life.”

“Like hell,” Nova snarled.  She pressed a knife into Danna’s palm and lifted her own up.  She pressed it against her chest, angling it upward.  “They need a victor.”

Danna’s eyes widened.  She grasped for Nova’s hand and lifted her own blade.  “Together?”

“Till the end.” Nova screwed her eyes shut and shoved the blade into her chest.  She collapsed onto the ground, her blood mixing with Danna’s. She took in one shuddering breath… and let it out. Her heart slowed and her blood leaked out onto the ground. Two cannons sounded at the exact same time. 

[saramelcky]

Fragments - Chapter 3

Bucky Barnes x Mom!reader

Summary: Y/n, Bucky and Grace have breakfast together. Bucky opens up more about what he’s going through, so does Y/n.

Word count: 2.3k

Chapter Warnings: Feelings. A little bit of angst. Some bad words maybe.

A/N: I’m back! Well, I don’t know if I will stay active for long but at least I finished this chapter...it took me soooo long. I hope you will like it and I hope I will be able to write the next one ASAP! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Fragments Masterlist

'We'll be there in ten minutes' says the message Y/n has sent to bucky. It's been fifteen actually, sixteen minutes since that message and Bucky's leg can't stop hopping up and down under the white table of the cafeteria. He puts his left hand on it trying to stop the movement with no success. The door opens catching his attention: Y/n and her little girl are standing there looking for Bucky in the crowded local; when Grace sees the man she can't stop a joyful scream while running towards him to hug him.

"Hey, little girl!" Says Bucky "how's it going?" He asks.  "I'm not little! I'm a big girl" she corrects him. Y/n giggles sitting at the table only moments later. "Hey Bucky, I'm sorry we're late" She apologies to him. "Oh don't be, I was just a little worried, but that's on my anxiety" he giggles the stress away. "I'll send you more texts next time" she laughs lightly.  "It...seems fair" he adds forgetting the previous stress. "You know I colored a picture yesterday, Bucket!" The little girl cuts their laughing off by tugging Bucky's sleeve. "Oh really? What was it?" He asks while Grace climbs up to his lap. "It was me and the big dog from the park hugging like you and mommy did yesterday" the two adults cheeks burn to the ears. "Okay sweetheart, what do you want for breakfast?" Y/n tries to change the subject.  "Coffee!" the girl says joyfully.  "Grace, coffee is for grownups. Like mommy and Bucky. Would you like some milk and brownies?" Her mom smirks at her trying to convince her. "Mommy, I'm a big girl now" She pouts. Bucky whispers something to the little's ear and her eyes widen in joy hugging the man's chest tightly. Y/n is confused and watches him baffled. He nods his head letting her know everything is under control while a waitress picks up their order.

While waiting for their food, the tension starts growing and Grace is not helping anymore with the conversation as she plays with the plates of Bucky's arm. "So, Uhm, about the prosthetic, you wanted to talk about it, didn't you?" Y/n asks.  "Yes, it's about the funds" he says. "Oh, is there a problem?" She's concerned and starts picking at her nails.  "Well, not a problem but a change" he sighs "Grace won't be in Stark's project, it wouldn't be fair to those who were previously chosen, but she'll still have her arm, I will personally pay it since I broke it." Y/n was speechless, a mix of thankfulness for the kind act and stubborn pride that doesn't want him to pay for everything. "I...I don't know what to say" are the only words that escape her mouth. She tries to cover her tears flowing with a smile. "Hey hey, it's okay" Bucky says putting a hand on her shoulder. "Is mommy sad?" Grace asked. "No honey...mommy's really happy" Y/n says wiping off the salty drops "really happy" she repeats. As the food arrives, Grace gets off Bucky's lap and sits between the adults devouring her breakfast in a second. "Mommy I finished" she turns to bucky and he nods. "Bucket told me that to be a big girl I have to listen to you" Y/n nods. "I ate everything so I am a real big girl now" Y/n still nods while Bucky looks at Grace intrigued. "Can I drink your coffee, please?" Grace asks with the most joyful smile of all. Bucky burst into laughs and Y/n is taken back. "So that was what you secretly talked about uh" Y/n smiles "Oh no no" Bucky corrects her "I just told her to be good, the coffee part is completely hers". They both laugh while Grace, in all seriousness, continues to talk about how she deserves that coffee "I'm sorry Bucky, today she woke up with this thing of being a big girl, she just doesn't stop saying she is an adult and stuff like that" she smiles at him "Oh that's not a problem, I lived with the most stubborn boy in Brooklyn eighty years ago, I know how it feels like" he giggles "Well, you weren't Steve's mom, poor woman" Y/n says still smiling while Bucky, at Steve and Sarah's mention, suddenly loses his joy. "Uhm yeah, It felt like it before...before everything happened" he struggles to say the entire sentence without crying. Y/n notices the weird uneasiness and the sad tone in his voice. "Hey, do you want to talk about it?" She suggests. "I don't want to ruin your morning, the baby doesn't need to hear about my messy mind and I bet you have more important things to do" he stares at his hands without looking up to them. "Okay, I'll call this friend of mine so she will pick up Grace to my apartment and we can stay here and talk" she dials Lucy's number on her phone "or we can go everywhere else, just as you like" she says. "Thanks, but I don't want to pity you" he responds. "You are not pitying me, I'll talk about my messy life too if this helps you" she gives him a wide smile before calling her friend.

"Thank you so much, Lucy" Y/n said. "No problem" she nudges her "just...use protections" she winks and laughs Y/n sighs "I'll call you when I'm on my way home" she turns to Grace "Alright princess, say goodbye to Bucky, aunt Lucy will stay with you" she smiles at her baby "Bucket I'll miss you" the little girl pouts "Oh no, come give me a hug" Bucky melts in the little arms "I'll see you next week, little one" he kisses her little head "Bye Mommy" Grace waves at Y/n trough Lucy's car window.

Y/n returns in the cafè and sits back with Bucky. "Uhg, how can you be so calm without her" he says. She arches a brow at him, asking an explanation . "She's gone for 5 minutes and I can only think about how bad I want a little hug from her...God I sound so creepy" he mumbles. "Oh, I'm just pretending to be calm" she nervously laughs "it's been almost 5 years but I can't stand being far from her for too long. Please distract me from my cute daughter" they both bursts into laughs. "It's been a lot since I've laughed like this" he looks sad now "I feel like back in the 30s once again" he sadly scoffs. Y/n puts a hand on his left shoulder. "Do you miss him?" She asks. "Like fresh air. I just don't understand why he did that" he shakes his head. "Do you mean why he sacrificed for us?" She giggles "I mean, it's kinda obvious why..." she adds furrowing her brows. "Is that what you know?" He's shocked "you think he sacrificed? Oh wow" he laughs sarcastically "I've seen it on the news...he died with Ironman, didn't he?" She asks. Bucky can't hold himself by facepalming. "God no...this must remain between us, understood?" Y/n nods. "Uhm, first of all, Steve lived through Thanos okay? After Stark's funeral he had to do one last mission in the past, yeah we can time travel, I think... by the way, before this mission he told me that he wasn't coming back, that I should have moved on quickly and that Sam and the others would be with me if I needed. He...he completed the mission and after that, he went in the 40s and lived his life with Peggy Carter...they were a thing at that time and he never stopped loving her. Steve's still alive, he's really old but alive. I know Sam visits him once a week but...I can't. I feel like he abandoned me...he knew where HYDRA kept me but he did nothing to save me" finally, he lets out everything and cries all his emotions. Y/n embraces him, protecting him from something they didn't know "I'm sorry...I think I can understand what do you mean, sort of" she says "How?" He asks "Has your best friend left you after a century of friendship?" He adds laughing tauntingly.  "No, but I know how it feels being abandoned" she leaves a shaky breath. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks wiping his tears. Y/n nods. "In 2018, before the Thanos things, I was happily married, I was nailing it with work, everything was just perfect. My husband, ex-husband's name is Jacob. I still love him with all my heart even if he doesn't anymore. At that time we were trying to have a baby, we wanted a big family with lots of kids so here comes Grace. The day I found out I was pregnant, you were in Wakanda, fighting for us. I didn't have the time to tell me about the baby. I was destroyed by his death and had a little pregnancy scare because of the stress. But everything else went well during the pregnancy and Grace was born healthy and even bigger than the average. During the pregnancy and labor, it was only me and Lucy, she's been my anchor many times. I had bad baby blues and I was diagnosed with post-partum depression and it didn't help with the special needs that had Grace. It was probably the worst time of my life. I eventually got through it and moved on, I even dated once when Grace was almost three" she laughed" The final punch arrived when you guys saved the universe and Jacob came back. I was the happiest person alive and Grace wanted to meet her dad so much. He wasn't that happy tho. When he saw Grace he was, of course, confused but he didn't believe she was his. He left us and didn't come back since. I...I didn't take well that too and to be honest, when we've met, it was the first time I went out in weeks. It's been a rough time lately" she sighs "I don't even know how I wake up every day now...I have the fear that Grace is growing more without me than with me, and this is fucking scary. I should be her reference point, I'm her mother for Christ's sake! All I can do is pitying myself, crying and staying alone! And now that I've met you, I feel like I don't deserve to feel bad, others suffer more than me." She covers her face putting it on the table in front of them "I didn't want to cry today but it's harder than I thought" she huffs and cries. Bucky gently kisses her head while soothing her sobs with a hand in the back before becoming a wiping mess himself.

"It felt good today, talking with you, you know?" He says outside her house. He accompanied her home after they recover from the public crying session. "Me too, we should talk more often" she giggles. "Are you free next week?" He asks. She feels heat rising up her face and a knot in the stomach. "Uhm yeah, I think I am" They stare at each other for a while. "I think I might head in" she breaks the silence "Oh yeah of course. Thanks again Y/n" he leans to hug her "Thank you Bucket" she highlights his name in his arms He laughs "you should teach that baby how to say my name" they pull off the embrace. "Send me a text when you're home" she goes to the front door "Ok! Have a nice rest of the day doll" he says before leaving "Thanks, you too" she enters the house.

"Mommy! You're back" Grace jumps in her arms. "Where is aunt Lucy?" Y/n asks her daughter "She's in the kitchen. It's lunchtime!" The baby says happily.  Y/n picks up her baby girl and goes to the kitchen. "Hey Lucy, I'm back" she greets her friend "Hey mama, how was your date?" Lucy smirks at her friend "It was not a date, come on" Y/n laughs. "Mommy, what's a date?" Grace asks. "It's when two people hang out, they go to the restaurant, the cinema or the park sometimes" she answers "Like us when we play at the park?" The girl asks again "Grace, baby, a date is between two people that like each other okay? It's special and you should not date every boy or girl that asks you okay?" Lucy explained "So Mommy and Bucket are special?" She asks "No, Bucky and I are not special because it wasn't a date!" Y/n is almost annoyed. "I want to be special to Bucket! I like him" Grace shouts giggling You all laugh when your phone buzzes, you take it out. When you read the name on it your smile fades away. Lucy notices it. "What happened?" The friend questions "I need to pick this up, it's Jacob" Y/n sits Grace on the counter and goes to her room.

"Hello?" "Hey, um, it's me. It's Jacob" he responds. "What do you want?" She says harshly. "I think I've made a mistake. I talked to some people and...Christ, I was confused, I still am...but I believe you, and I want to be in our daughter's life" As he says that you receive a message, probably from Bucky. "I can't suffer anymore, and I don't want to let Grace suffer too...I don't know if I can do this" she breathes shakily "Please, I still love you, but I understand if in the meantime you found someone else, I just wanna do the right thing for her" he pleads while a sob escapes her mouth. "Let me think about it okay?" She sniffles "I'll let you know when I'm ready" she continues "Fine... You don't have to answer this...but today I saw you with a guy...is he...Uhm are you together?" He asks "It's not your business, Jacob" she is angry now. "He's dangerous, babe, he's the Winter Soldier" he says preoccupied "And you're an asshole, Bucky is not my boyfriend, and even if he was, or will ever be, it's none. of. your. goddamn. business!" Y/n hangs up and throws the phone on the bed, forgetting the message.

Taglist still open:

@capandbuckylvr​ @queen-of-elves @dark-night-sky-99 @chubby-dumplin @archangelslollipop

[sobbinscenes]

At last! I’ve finished Heir Of Fire

This one took me forever to read.

And it’s not because it’s longer— while yes, I did usually finish the other books in like a week and they were shorter, this one I just got so unmotivated to read because it felt like it was going nowhere in the beginning.

And I mean, it was, but since Celaena had to do things less action based— and so did the rest of the gang— it felt like not too much was going on :,)

BUT! I just read 300 pages yesterday and the last 40 this morning and it’s done and over with, so now time for my thoughts n feels.

Overall it was a good book, like I said it was definitely less action-based which was different than the last few books. And it wasn’t bad or anything— the pacing was good, I’m just impatient lol.

I was really happy they developed more of the fae part of the world, magic is one of my absolute favourite things to read about and it was cool seeing how to overcome it and all.

Rowan originally really reminded me of Chaol (because of how he was introduced lol), which kinda made me think he’d end up with Celaena for some reason. They didn’t, kinda disappointed but ah well.

Otherwise he’s a really cool character and it was interesting seeing the layers to his emotions over his lifetime. The rest of the bunch at Mistward were also great, they’re all so wholesome must protect.

Not gonna lie, the whole mate thing and the fact that Celaena was 19 and Rowan hundreds of years old kinda put me off— maybe it’s a good thing they didn’t end up together lol.

Oh, and again with the creepiness! SJM is always great at creeping me out with the creatures and the way she writes them; now I get to add skinwalkers and the valg princes onto my list of nightmares, what fun :D

Manon’s pov was really cool to read about. Again, was nice learning about more magical beings amd the witches really interest me— especially after what the crochan witch had said near the end— but it was a bit meh to read at times because it didn’t actively relate to the plot that was going on then and there.

I found Manon’s arc catching. I liked how you see her so mercilessly hunting crochan witches to eventually be offered one and not hesitate, but question. Question if she should really be doing this, if she was wrong because of the ways she was raised and if she did in fact have a heart.

Sorscha! My girl, I love you. I was so sad when she died because I was hoping that if in the far future she became queen, she’d prove herself wrong and develop in that sense. But unfortunately I was wrong :,) I actually really liked her as a character though, it was refreshing after all the strong-headed women like Celaena and Manon. Rip 🙏

Dorian. My boy, my poor poor boy. Imagine seeing your lover get their head chopped off right then and there. Ouch. I’m honestly surprised he didn’t burn the place to the grown (or rather freeze) but he’s not Celaena so makes sense lol.

Oh and Dorian didn’t say ily back to Chaol AHAHAHA. Still though, best bros.

As for Chaol, w ow. He did a lot more behind the scenes in this, and it was interesting because, while he did ‘betray’ everyone, he simultaneously stayed loyal by staying true to his beliefs. So don’t beat yourself up, cap. I’m really surprised he brought Fleetfoot with him though. I know there’s some emotional baggage and stuff with that dog, but it’s a d o g. Not very inconspicuous.

Yo what if once they leave Adarlan the dog turns out to be a of fae descent and the dog is her other skin— haha jk... unless

I like that we’re finally going back to Arobynn Hamel, I’ve been waiting to meet him since book 1.

The flashbacks were fun to read, makes the king even more of a jerk :))

Aedion made me laugh quite a few times. I’m surprised anyone can hold on against their enemy for so long. Makes me wish he really does end up escaping and finding Celaena. Family reunion guys come on :(

Also why did I get the slightest feeling that Ren and Aedion had a thing going on LOL. Maybe it’s just me. Honestly, Aedion is way too much of a simp for Celaena to bother with those types of things.

What I’m Anticipating in Queen of Shadows:

What is Rowan gonna do? He himself said, “Or am I just going to be left to sit on ass for months”

Will Chaol give up the Eye of Elena once he sees Celaena again?

How does the King not know that his Champion has been Aelin? They look so similar???

Will Celaena be accepted with “open” arms in Adarlan or do they know who she is?

More news on Kaltain and what’s-his-face. Are they trying to escape? Have they succumbed to the dark magic?

Will the witches (or more Manon and the Thirteen) turn on the King once they realize why the men taste so bad and what he’s doing? Orrrr will they go all murder-mode and relish in the monsters at their disposal

Manon going against her grandmother! Please!

Celaena practicing her water-type magic. I know she barely has an affinity for it, but that could be a useful skill to have

Aedion and Celaena reunion

Chaol getting over Celaena (I mean this in a kind way lol, as much as I shipped Chaol x Celaena, it’s clear it’s not happening anymore so I hope for him to move on and be at peace with that)

Luca, Emrys and Malakai not dying (I know this doesn’t count but hey they’re too precious to be involved in this)

More on Maeve. (She clearly still wants the Wyrdkeys, will she fight the King herself? Has she been secretly preparing to go against him?)

Is Dorian going to succumb to the darkness? (Please no, this boy needs to be King, I trust no other)

Hhh that was reallly long. Now I guess I’ll start Queen of Shadows then! Convenient since I have it with me already :))

[eleventhdoctorsangel]

The hunter and the dauntless leader

Summary: Y/N and jack find themselves alone in the divergent world. Now both having to by time till Sam, dean, and cas find them. But they had to choose a faction. That faction was dauntless.

Tris and I linked our arms and walked back to the dorm. "Can I asked you something?" Tris asked. "Of course what is it." I said. "What does your tattoo mean?" Tris said. "It's an anti possession symbol." I said. "Why do you need it?" Tris asked. "So no demon trys to possess my body. Demons are hard to trust. There's not many demons we trust. Now after what happened to crowley I don't know of we'll be able to trust any demon." I said. "Crowley was the king of hell right? What exactly happened. You never really said you just said you guys lost him?" Tris said. "He sacrificed himself so Dean, Sam, and I can escape the apocalypse world so we can stop Lucifer." I said. "Lucifer is Jack's father right." Tris said. "Yep that makes Jack a nephilim. A half human half arch angel." I said. "Is Jack dangerous?" Tris asked. "At time yes. But I've worked with him to help him control it since basically he was born. He aged very quickly." I said. "What happened to his mom?" Tris asked. "She died giving birth to him." I said. "That must have been very hard on jack." Tris said. "It was but we managed like we always do." I said. "You're very protective of him aren't you." Tris said. "It's that obvious." I said laughing and little which made tris laugh. "Some people think you two are together." Tris said. "By some people you mean Eric don't you." I said. "Not just him. The other day after you fought that dauntless guy when Jack hugged and spun you away I could hear some of the guys mumble how lucky Jack was." Tris said. "Well it's hard to date when your a hunter." I said. "But you want to date don't you?" Tris asked. "More than anything. I just want something real." I said. We finally walked into the dorm. "There you two are we were starting to get worry." Christina said. Tris sat down on her bed and I sat next to her. "I'm never going to make it." Tris said. "Yes you are." Christina said. "I'm the weakest one here." Tris said. "Then you'll be most improved." Christina said and sat down on her bed. "You're Candor. You're not supposed to lie." Tris said. "I was candor. And I'm not lying." Christina said. "If they cut me I think my parents would take me back." Al said. "No it doesn't work like that. Even if they wanted to their faction wouldn't allow it." Will said. "Well that's stupid you're parents should be allowed to take you back. Family is important." Jack said. "Everyone is not like us Jack. I know how you think they should be they all live like us." I said. "But they will function better as a society." Jack said. "We can't fix everything I wish we could. But something are just to complicate to fix." I said. "Every if my parents would take me back I wouldn't belong there anymore." Tris said. I grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "This is getting depressing." Christina said. "Yeah." Al said laughing. "You know what we should do? Get tattoos." Christina said. "I'm down I can always use another tattoo." I said. "I can't get them but I will come." Jack said smiling. "What do you mean you can't get them?" Will asked. "I heal extremely fast." Jack said. "Well ok then." Will said. We left the dorm and headed over to the tattoo parlor. Once there Tris, Christina, Will and Al started looking at the different designs. I wonder if I drew something they could tattoo it on me. I looked over and saw tori. I walked over to her. "If I draw something can you tattoo the design?" I asked. "Yes." Tori said. She got a piece of paper and handed to me and I drew this.

"Where do you want it?" Tori asked. "My ribs. On the right side." I said. "Unbuttoned your shirt and take a seat please." Tori said. I sat down and unbuttoned Eric shirt leaving it open. "What color ink do you want?" Tori asked. "Red please." I said. Tori nodded and started to get everything ready. "That's a bit huge on you don't you think?" Tori asked. "It's not mine. It's Eric's. Fight went south and my opponent ripped. My shirt clean off me." I said. "Well I guess he must really like you. He wouldn't do that with everyone." Tori said. "So everyone tells me." I said as Tori put this patch like thing on my ribs. Then I felt a small pin prick. "This is an interesting symbol I don't think I've seen anything like it either of them." Tori said. "Thanks it's just a family business thing." I said. "Its done." Tori said taking the patch thing off. I look at it and it looked amazing. "Its amazing I love it. Thank you." I said. "You're welcome." Tori said giving me a small smile. I got up and walked back over to the others. "So what did you get?" Al asked. I moved Eric shirt over so I could show Al. "That's interesting. I don't think I saw that symbol." Al said. "It's because it wasn't there. I drew it and got it." I said. "Well what does it mean?" Al asked. "It's an angel banishing symbol." I said. I happened to look over to the bar area and saw Eric. "I'll talk to you later Al." I said. Al nodded. I walked over to the bar and stay down in the seat next to Eric. "I see you got another tattoo." Eric said looking at the tattoo that was on my ribs but I could see him looking at the anit possession tattoo. "Yeah I did." I said as I button the shirt back up. "You know I've never seen those symbols before." Eric said. "They're kinda of a family thing." I said. "Well maybe you can tell me one day." Eric said giving me a smile. "If I make passed the first stage I will." I said. Then two glasses of beer were placed in front of us. "So what's going on between you and that friend of yours?" Eric asked taking a drink of beer. "Jack? We're very close. We're like brother and sister." I said. "So you two are not together?" Eric asked. I shook my head taking a drink of my beer. "Well I like the kid more now." Eric said. "Oh you do now? Does it have something to do with the fact that we are not together?" I asked putting on elbow on the bar and placing my hand under my chin. "That kid follows you around like a lost dog. That Al guy to." Eric said. "What do you mean Al follows me around like a lost dog?" I asked. "You haven't noticed?" Eric asked. "No. No I haven't." I said chugging my beer. "Easy there." Eric said taking a hold of my glass gently placed down. "I can handle my alcohol." I said. "Not that I don't believe you. You should take it easy." Eric said taking away my glass. "Why'd you take my glass away?" I asked. "You've had enough to drink. Come on I'll take you back to the dorm." Eric said getting up from his chair and offered me his hand. I smiled and placed my hand in his. I hopped down from the chair. We walked back to the dorm hand in hand. "What faction were you before transferring to dauntless?" I asked. "Erudite." Eric said. "I can see it." I said look over at him with a small smile. "If you're not from candor then where are you from?" Eric asked. "Like I said I'll tell you if I make it pass the first stage I will." I said. "You and I both know that you will." Eric said. "Exactly." I said. We finally reached the dorm. "Well I'll see you tomorrow." Eric said. "I'll like that." I said letting go of Eric's hand. "Tomorrow it is." Eric said and walked away. I couldn't help but to blush. "Well look who finally came back from her time with Eric." Christina said. "Shut up." I said laughing. "Did you two kiss?" Will asked. I couldn't help but see the sad look that Al had. "No we didn't." I said sitting down on my bed taking off my shoes. "So what tattoo did you get Y/n?" Tris asked. I unbuttoned Eric's shirt and showed them the tattoo on my ribs. "What does that mean?" Christina asked. "It's a symbol that bashes angels." I said. “Why would you want to do that?” Will asked. “Because angels are dicks.” I said. “They are?” Tris said. “Oh yeah they are.” I said. “I thought they’ll would be all nice and stuff?” Al asked. “Some are and some are not.” I said. It was called that it was lights out. I got under my blankets and fell fast asleep. 

I could feel someone gently shaking me. “ Y/n wake up.” a voiced whispered. I slowly opened my eyes and saw tris. “You ready?” Tris asked. “Just let me shower real quick ok. Do you mind watching to make sure no lone looks.” I said. “Yeah.” Tris said. I took a quick shower and got dress. I grabbed my shoes. Tris and I quietly made our way out of the dorm and to the training room. We walked over to a punching bag. “Ok let’s see what were working with.” I said and motion for tris to hit the bag. I watched her hit the bag. ‘Ok. Stop.” I said. ”Well?” Tris asked stopping. “Ok I'm going to be real honest with you. We have a lot of work to do.” I said. “This is going to be useless.” Tris said. “No it won’t tris.” I said. Tris sighed and nodded. I got to work with helping tris with some combat skills. Slowly but surly she started to get the hang of it. We managed to get of the roof to practice shooting. She started to get the hang of that too. “Come on it’s almost breakfast time. We should hurry before people notice.” I said. Tris nodded and we walked to the dining hall. “Tris can I ask you something?” I asked. “Sure what is it Y/n?” Tris asked. “Yesterday when I was taking to Eric> He said that AL follows me around like a lost dog. Does he?” I asked. “I have noticed him Looking at you. But he really doesn’t follow you. I think he just likes is all.” Tris said. I looked at her and nodded. “You don’t like him like that do you?” Tris asked. “No I don’t.” I said. “There’s nothing wrong with that Y/N. You just have to make sure that Al knows that.” Tris said. “Yeah I know.” I said. We walked into the dining hall and went to sit by Christina. “There you two are. Where did you two go?” Christina said. “Just though we could get some extra training in.” Tris said to her. She looked at us and nodded. We ate breakfast together. I noticed that jack was continuedly coughing. “Jack are you ok?” I asked. “I’m fine.” Jack said still coughing. I looked at the napkin that jack had in his hand and there was blood in it. “Jack that does not look ok.” I said. “Y/n I’m fine.” Jack said. The bell rang signaling the end of breakfast. I watch as jack slowly got up still coughing. That’s when jack fell to the ground. “Jack!” I yelled running over to him. I kneeled on the ground next to him. He still was coughing up blood. “Help!” I heard Christina and Tris yell. “Eric Help!” I yelled. I could heard running. I didn’t bother to look up to the crowd of people that now surrounded us. “Move. Out of the way.” I could hearing Eric said more than likely pushing people out of the way. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I knew something bad would happen to jack after he lost his grace. But why did this have to happen now. I don’ t know if I will be ale to handle this by myself. “Y/n.” I heard four say. I looked up and saw both four and eric looking down at me. “Help him.” I said. Eric was quickly at my side trying to help with jack. “What happened?” Four asked. “He just started coughing up blood.” I said. “Everybody out now!” Eric yelled. Everyone slowly left leaving the four of us. “Do you know what caused him to cough up blood?” Four asked. I had to lie I just have to. I can’t tell them what jack is. What would they do to him if I do. I shook my head and wiped my eyes. Four looked at me like he didn’t believe me but nodded anyways. “We’ll take him to the infirmary to see if they can see if they can find what's wrong with him.” Four said. “Can I stay with him?” I asked hoping that they will let me. “Yes you can.” Eric said help me up as four got jack up from the ground and threw one of jacks arms over his shoulder.

Taglist: @importanttyrantruler @jaiboomer11 @darkqueennox

[cryptidcalling]

Getting weird and existential ig under the cut? Please don’t read if you think it would stress you out or make you upset. Talks about death/killing and like ‘universe big, Earth smaller, things only happen bc of science reasons’ kinda things. If the read more isn’t working on mobile then please scroll by really fast!

So normally I feel at least a little connected to the world around me. Fall has fun colors and cold weather and it makes me happy. I pet a dog today, and that made me happy even when I’ll never see that dog again. I’m helping the plants breathe and they help me breathe back. That kinda stuff.

But today it just, broke. It just stopped. Seasons aren’t fun or interesting or special. They happen because the Earth is in a different position to the sun. That dog isn’t going to remember me and pretty soon i’ll forget it too. The plants aren’t ‘helping me breathe’ and I’m not ‘helping the plants breathe’. We’re just going through natural processes that happen to produce byproducts that the other needs. It’s not special. It’s just how things work. 

I couldn’t feel excited about fall or animals or anything. I felt very blank and disillusioned. But I felt real in a different way. 

I have a hard time feeling the weight of death. It’s just part of the natural cycle of things. Of course I feel it on a small scale. My neighbor’s dog died yesterday and I cried a lot. But on a wide scale, or from a distance, I usually can’t feel anything. A man was shot and killed in Minneapolis. Nothing. There was a mass shooting in Texas. Nothing. I think to myself ‘Oh no, that’s sad’ but I don’t feel any different. I’ve actually been listening to the Jonestown Death tape, because I desperately want to feel that weight. To understand death on a wide scale the way everyone else does. As something devastating and awful. 

Today I felt that. Today I really felt it for the first time. I thought of flicking a ladybug and I felt like a monster. I heard news about people dying in a crash and I felt terrible for them. I felt it, for real. I couldn’t bare the idea of eating a burger or chicken wings. It wasn’t food, it was a slab of carcass. 

Usually I feel bad for stepping on the grass or breaking branches. Today I didn’t care about the plants a single bit. But the animals, like me, mattered so much more than they had before. I still don’t know how to feel about the trade off. Is it worth feeling distant and lacking in excitement, if it means I can feel the way I’m supposed to feel about the dead and the dying?

[homosociallyyours]

hello good evening

i have been watching the real housewives of beverly hills for the past few weeks and i’ve just gotten into season 6. i’ve been sending chats to @jlf23tumble most nights to spill my feels about it, but my feelings have officially become too large to be held in a single chat. and so here, behind a cut, is me talking about things. in particular, yolanda hadid, lyme disease, and other things unique to RHOBH

ok so i mentioned maybe yesterday in a brief text post that i was shocked to find myself loving yolanda hadid when i truly went in expecting to find her as awful as i find 90% of the housewives, maybe more so. IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when she turned out to be shockingly down-to-earth and chill. in her first season i could imagine her shopping at the store i work at, maybe coming in to buy a particular Dutch cheese that reminded her of home or talking about the newest vegan options we carry. 

then in her second season she started getting sick, and so much of what she was going through hit home for me: the brain fog, the fatigue, the hope of a good day where your energy has returned. she spent her third season getting her life back in order somewhat, still having rough days but pushing through and doing more. 

i’m in her fourth (and last) season, where the lyme has gotten really bad. i started sobbing while watching when she talked about not remembering what it’s like to be well. sometimes i think back on the things i used to love doing like they’re some kind of fading dream. did i really enjoy hiking in the hills or taking my dog to the beach? was it someone else who would sleep 3 hours, work 9 or 10, and then still manage to go out two-stepping? 

when she laid on her couch with tears welling up just saying that it’s a struggle to keep going and that she wants her body to work like it used to, i felt that sense of recognition and relief. it’s not that i have a lot of people telling me i’m faking. i’m really lucky to have a lot of folks who believe me. but there is a voice in my head saying i’ve made all this up and it’s not real and to stop being lazy, and when i heard her talking it helped stuff a fucking sock in the voice’s mouth for a minute. 

what’s wild is this woman started out on the show as a self-proclaimed “dutch martha stewart” who was running up and down the steps of her house with baskets of lemons, working out and dieting non-stop, throwing amazing parties that she organized every detail of and traveling around a bunch. watching the series in such massive gulps (it takes me 3-5 days to finish a season) means that her decline happened in a time lapse, almost. 

and i’m seeing the reactions of all the people who didn’t experience it like that and who have maybe never known a chronically ill person in their lives. when she shows up to a birthday party with no makeup on, everyone at the table questions it after she leaves abruptly. “why would any woman choose not to wear makeup?” “if she felt so bad, why did she bother coming?” “i know i said she looked good but she didn’t.” 

i can’t speak for her, but i’ve stopped wearing makeup because it takes thought and energy that i don’t have, especially if i’m going to leave the house. i also hate looking at myself now most of the time, because all i see is half a fucking person-- a shadow with no life and no energy. i sometimes force myself to go to things when i know they’ll wreck me because not leaving the house is depressing af. i want to be a person again, and goddamn it i will throw every spoon i have at 30 minutes of quality time feeling like myself, even if i know it means i’ll be lying in bed the whole next day. 

and i actually hate hearing that i look good or cute because it feels like such a lie, but i do accept those compliments at face value because i know at the very least that i’m a good actor? like i tricked you into thinking i was a human and not some sad fatigue lump who gets winded from washing my fucking dishes. 

AND THEN-- (yeah we’re back to the RHOBH talk) --we have a plot about everyone secretly doubting her illness. talking about what it could or couldn’t be. as if they’ve been in the fucking room and looked at every test result and laid in bed hoping the next appointment would bring relief. i have generally liked lisa rinna because she’s pretty camp, but she’s the one leading the charge and now i wanna throw a shoe (or a prosthetic leg) at her. 

throughout all of this, i’ve started to really love yolanda. she’s honest and vulnerable and so generous with and protective of her friends. and i know i could get blacklisted for this, but her kids are all better people than every child i’ve watched on a real housewives franchise put together. like. they’re weird and loving and kind and respectful and not spoiled, and i am pretty sure it comes down to having a parent who’s modeling that behavior. 

i was joking with bander earlier about making a reality franchise called “the real spoonies of _city_” where you just follow several chronically ill people through their daily lives. and she laughed bc it would look like completely separate individuals just texting each other and not going out. And It Would! but i think maybe i’d still want to watch it? i wouldn’t mind seeing how other people have figured out their lives (i’m terrible at it and feel a lot like my body is an alien i can’t communicate with) and i’d enjoy seeing people sorting their pills and cooking their quick meals and doing restorative yoga and shit like that. 

instead i watch the housewives because they’re silly and dramatic and they go to fancy lunches or dinners and they take nice trips and go shopping and it’s weird. who lives like that? they do, i guess! 

i don’t wanna only talk about being sick and yolanda, though, so if you’re still reading and care, here’s my hot takes so far:  -lisa v has an atypical relationship with sex which she covers with odd sex jokes. i kinda think she might be on the ace spectrum, maybe?  -kyle and kim break my heart BUT ALSO they had a fight that reminded me of the last time i went home and my sister fucking lost her mind at me for rolling my eyes when she tried to dis the ACA and socialized medicine.  -brandi has some deep psychological trauma and her bisexual ass should consider dating a woman. i think that plus therapy might be good?  -lisa r and eileen have houses that are massive but so full of things that they feel realllly un-fancy compared with every other house i’ve seen on rhony or rhobh! whenever there’s a scene in one of their houses i feel like moving things so i can see them better 

also i know bethenny is gonna make a tiny appearance on this season and i’m so juiced you don’t even understand. bethenny is my girl, ok? i love her. and it’s gonna be weird af seeing her with the beverly hills ppl because they’re SO DIFFERENT. 

one day i’ll do a study of all the RH franchises and separate them out by vibe. maybe make one of those posts that list the aesthetics? like--

rhony: martinis, black manolos, espresso in the afternoon, cashmere sweaters that cost more than a month’s rent, cinnamon candies, red roses

rhobh: bright louboutins, margaritas and frose, high tea, beachy long dresses, pure white roses, pink champagne toasts at brunch, candied grapefruit peels

right? yeah. 

[sam177007-blog]

You Don’t Believe Me

Entry 1- Five Days since the World Died.

You wouldn’t believe it Notebook; I’m now part of a group!

I was just minding my own business around town when the people started following me. Soon, they surrounded me! I didn’t want to kill them; though Justin did make a point to explain to me that they’re already dead.

No one knows what they are, what happened to them, but Justin calls them Fleshies and they were once just like us.

I told them, I don’t want to kill the people, but Thomas handed me a gun. He told me that I have no choice and that’s the only way I’ll survive. I don’t want to lay my hands on a gun ever again.

The Fleshies were all around me; I couldn’t push them away, I couldn’t run. I was done for. I closed my eyes and accepted my fate.

I heard gunfire.

I opened my eyes.

The Fleshies were following the sound! A man was standing a ways down the street, gun pointed at the sky, firing.

I watched in awe.

He put away his gun and grabbed the large knife from his belt. He proceeded to slice into all the Fleshies’ heads, watching them fall to the ground motionless.

After all the Fleshies fell dead, the man ran up to me and held out his hand.

“There won’t be much time until more come, come with me!” he commanded.

I took his hand and he immediately took off running with me in tow, trying hard to keep up with my short legs. He tugged me along for what felt like hours.

“COME ON!!” A yell rang out through the air.

Suddenly I was swept off my feet and plopped down on something metal. I looked around me; I was on the back of a pickup truck! Plus, to make matters better, there were two people in the front seats. The guys started yelling curse words through the glassless back window at the man who saved me, trying to figure out why I was there. I then introduced myself as Cameron, though you already know my name, Notebook. I then learned theirs! The man who saved me is Tony; he’s got one brown eye and the other is green. The guy with sideburns is Devin; he’s driving the truck. The other guy in the front seat was Justin; he’s got cool looking white hair! He looks like the youngest of them to me. They told me they have some other people in their group and that I’m a part of it now! I was really hoping that anyway, seeing as I have nowhere else to go.

I couldn’t help but giggle when they told me their group name: “The Power Rangers!”

The drive was long, so Tony started asking me questions about who I am. I told him about my mom and stepdad who left me behind, my brother who refused to wake up, and my dead dog named Sasha; I’m going to miss her.

I probably should mention to Tony the fact that I don’t have my medicine and if I don’t take it tonight, the voices will come back. It’s not that bad though, sometimes they’re nice and they help me; other times they can be real jerks. One of the voices even told me how to kill myself; they’re so mean!

The truck slowed to a stop in front of a department store.

“This is it,” commented Devin as he turned off the engine. We got off the truck and I was rushed inside. There were five other people that I then met: Thomas(the one with glasses and a clean-shaven face), Shauna(who has a zebra stripe sleeve tattoo going up her left arm), Riley(who I can’t tell if it’s a he or a she), Ben(who looks a few years younger than me), and Malynda(who’s probably in high school and has the prettiest red hair).

Tony then took the time to show me around. He showed me where they sleep, where they keep their supplies, where the bathrooms are, and other stuff. I was surprised to see the state the store was in; shelves broken off the walls, the floors were covered in wasted food as well as trash and random broken stuff. The place was ransacked and really sad to look at.

I tried again to tell Tony about my medicine, but he was called away to help with dinner before I could finish. Although after he left, I got to talk to Shauna! She was nice but seemed really on edge and almost seemed depressed. I asked why, but she avoided the question. I pushed on and she yelled that she’s tough, then got up and ran out of the room, leaving me to my lonesome, sitting on a cot in the corner of the sleeping quarters.

It’s dark outside now; no one has a watch and all the clocks stopped so no one knows the time. Tony told me earlier that since there is no more electricity, they can’t charge their phones; another time source gone.

At least I have you, Notebook. You’re kinda like a friend; except you can’t answer back. Oh well.

The others are coming to the cots, I guess it’s time for bed. Don’t run off anywhere while I’m dreaming, Notebook; like there’s any place you can go.

Goodnight!

Entry 2- Eight Days since the World Died

I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in a few days Notebook! Things have been pretty busy lately. Yesterday, the Power Rangers went out on a supply run as they called it and they wanted me to stay here with Ben and Shauna watched us. She didn’t like the idea, she wanted to go with them, but I heard Devin tell her that because of her mental state, she shouldn’t. She cursed at Devin and stated something about the name Spencer.

“Shauna, I know how much your brother meant to you-” I heard Devin try to say.

Shauna cut him off and said that she’s gotten over it, but by the sob I could hear her holding back, I could tell that was a lie.

She fell asleep and Ben got sucked into some picture book, so I was left to my own devices. I decided to go outside!

And guess what Notebook? I made a friend outside! His name is Randall and he told me he’s about 23 years old. We’ve got lots in common! We both like art and singing and being outside. I wish I could introduce him to Shauna but… she wouldn’t like him. He’s a Fleshie, none of the Power Rangers would like him, but he’s nice! He told me that none of the others can hear him; he’s been trying to ask for help but everyone like me runs away!

He told me to stay a few feet away from him at all costs; he’ll try and grab me otherwise, try to hurt me, but he doesn’t want to, he just can’t control it! So I spent the whole time walking backward around a tree with Randall following me as we just talked!

I’m so glad I have a new friend Notebook! I haven’t told Shauna or Ben or anyone about him though. I don’t think they’re ready to hear what he has to say.

Entry 3- Ten Days since the World Died

I’ve met so many new friends Notebook! I have tons of them! There’s Rosy and Daniel and Sara and Isaiah! What sucks though is the fact that I can’t let any of the Power Rangers meet them because they’ll kill them. They are not just Fleshies, they were once normal people like us and they can talk! They tell me stories of how they were before all this happened. They had families, friends, normal lives!

Tony talks to us every day about plans for supply runs and taking out as many Fleshies as they can. I’ve tried to talk to him again, but he’s too busy, setting up the supplies and hearing what other people have to say. I’m not important, I guess.

They look at them as obstacles, enemies… They can’t hear them, can they?

Entry 4- Thirteen Days since the World Died

I need to talk to Tony. He’s getting everyone killing Fleshies! Thomas keeps trying to get me to hold a gun, attack one! anything that will hurt them! No! I can’t do that!

They think I’m crazy! Thomas forced the gun into my grip and I screamed!

Everyone crowded around to see what happened. I started screaming at everyone! I screamed that I could hear them, that they have feelings and don’t mean to hurt us!

They think I’m crazy. I can hear them, how can they not? Fleshies cry out in pain when they are hit and I can hear every single one! It pierces my eardrums; it hurts so much~ It gets louder and louder and louder!

I want to talk to Tony, Notebook; no, I need to! I need to explain to him everything; I hope he doesn’t think I’m crazy! What if he does?!

I’m sorry, Notebook, it’s just… I don’t understand. I can hear them, how can’t they? Why don’t they believe me?

Notebook… You believe me, right?

Entry 5- Fifteen Days since the World Died

I can’t stay here anymore, Notebook. I hear the group talking about me in secret. They talk about how crazy I am and are trying to figure out what they should do with me. Justin mentioned leaving me for dead, and Riley just said to shoot me or slit my throat in my sleep! They want me dead because I’m a danger to them!

I don’t understand. All I want is for them to see! I can hear them; I can hear their pleas for help! I can hear them scream!

Am I crazy, Notebook? Do you think I’m crazy too?

I can’t stay any longer, Notebook, I’m sorry. It’s the middle of the night and I haven’t been able to sleep because I’m terrified that one of them will try and kill me while my eyes are closed! Friends wouldn’t do that! Friends would accept you! That’s what the Fleshies do! They accept me!

I’m going to leave you behind; maybe they’ll find you and you can tell them everything that I’ve told you!

Maybe then they’ll understand.

Oh, who am I kidding? They’ll think it’s the ramblings of a mad girl.

I’m sorry I have to leave you, Notebook. It’s just at this point, you’re probably just like them.

You don’t believe me, do you?