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Oblivious | Spencer Reid
- Criminal Minds - x Reader, Rossi’s daughter. (Y/N Baker-Rossi)
❪ FEM! ❫ ❪ adult aroace virgin attempts to write smut Altitude
───── ❝ description + disclaimer ❞ ─────
𖥻 Spencer Reid x AFAB+FEM!reader, in which SSA Dr Spencer Reid is dating his coworker. OR in which SSA David Rossi’s daughter is has been sneaking around with the smartest man in the FBI for months.
𖥻 established relationships. Not directly connected to Criminal Minds series timeline but an estimated place in the timeline around season 5. 8.2k words
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
───── ❝ backstory ❞ ─────
Carolyn Baker-Rossi, first wife of SSA David Rossi. After the loss of their son James, the couple began to drift apart and eventually filed for divorce after a case made him miss their anniversary in 1983 and he came home in time to see Carolyn packing his things. A few months later, and with no complications, a daughter was born. Y/N Baker-Rossi.
Y/N was always a gifted student, deciding when she was 7 that she wanted to “catch the boogie monsters that daddy does” and following through. Eventually, a few book releases and divorces later, Rossi’s 22 year old daughter completed her degree, resulting Rossi using his connections to get her allowed into the BAU as a liaison.
Y/N was spending 85% of her time at the BAU following around Penelope Garcia, 10% getting everyone coffee, and the other 5% staring at Dr Spencer Reid. The boy genius who joined the BAU 2 years prior as a Supervisory Special Agent.
2 years passed and Y/N— Agent Baker, affectionately nicknamed ‘Cupcake’ by Derek Morgan— was promoted, officially joining the team. And although she loved him, she refused to use her father’s last name while at work.
───── ❝ Oblivious ❞ ─────
Rossi‘s chair scraped along the floor as he pulled it out, and I groaned. Morgan called and woke me up at 6am, how much more murdering could happen if we waited just 1 more hour?
I wasn’t angry, but It was my first official case. I was no longer a liaison I was an SSA. My seat at the table meant something, but I didn’t expect them to drag me into work while it was still dark outside.
“Wheels up in 30” Hotch said, ending the briefing and giving us time to get what we needed from our desks.
Spencer was sat across from me like always, his hair messy and shirt collar a little messed up, and he pushed his chair out from the table before getting up.
I walked behind him as he went to his desk, and I went to mine. “Rough night?” I yawned.
“No, no. I’m fine.” Reid put his bag over his shoulder, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand.
I hummed in response and walked up to him, noticing that he tensed up as I got close to him. I put my hands on his collar, fixing it and his tie as he just watched me with his lips slightly parted.
“Uh, New collared shirts often come with stiff collars; however, after a number of washes and wears, the material that keep the collar stiff begins to soften, causing the shirt collar to lose its shape.” I nodded, enjoying the seemingly pointless information that he would often share. Everyone had left, the space around us now empty. “This leads to shirt collars curling and folding.”
When I was done, I went to step back and gave him some space, but Reid put a hand on my waist stopping me.
“Are you aware of how hard it is to avoid touching you while we’re at work?”
“You’re touching me now”
“But i’m stopping myself from… More”
“Nobody’s around” I kept my voice no more than a whisper, putting my hand on Reid’s chest and pushing myself up to reach him.
“Ready to go, Cupcake?” Morgan entered, back over his shoulder and eyes down as he looked at his phone. Reid and I jumped away from each other before Morgan had the chance to look up and tuck his phone in his back pocket. “Kid?”
Both of us nodded and he turned towards the doors, Reid following a few steps behind him. I slung my bag over my shoulder, jogging to catch up.
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
“How was your first case?” Garcia asked, rushing towards me with an open container of cookies in her hands as we entered the BAU. Returning from the long trip to Florida.
“I might be a little traumatised but that’s part of the job” I looked in the plastic container, happily taking one and almost melting at how good the warm cookie was.
Morgan patted my shoulder as he stopped beside me, swiftly taking a cookie and earning a shocked gasp from Garcia.
“Those are not for you”
“Thanks, baby girl” He smiled. “You look like you need a drink after that.”
“I do, I really do” I sighed wiping the cookie crumbs on my pants. “Garcia?”
She nodded enthusiastically, putting the lid on the container. “Yes.”
“Drinks?” Morgan asked the other members of the team, clapping his hands together. He earned a few responses as the team packed the extra things from their desks.
The team conversed as they left the building, leaving Garcia, my dad and I a little behind.
“You did real good, kid. Make sure you call your mum later”
“Got it.” I nodded, watching him hurry to catch up with Hotch.
“So…” Garcia started.
I shook my head at her. “Don’t” Garcia and I had spent so much time together over the past few years that she was practically my sister at this point.
She claimed knew about my crush on Reid before I did, noting that ‘22 year old Y/N came in to see her dad and immediately took notice of the 24 year old who’d just joined the team.’ But i’d managed to keep it from her that we had progressed our relationship.
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
With my FBI visitor pass— Which honestly seemed like a bad idea in retrospect, I walked into the bullpen and was barely noticed. Agents passing by without so much as a quick glance in my direction.
I spotted my Dad in a glass office, along with Hotch, and who I know knew was Garcia. He waved my direction, Hotch doing his best to smile at me before going back to their conversation.
Walking further into the room, I narrowly dodged someone with their head down looking at an open file as the walked and bumped into someone’s desk.
“Oh shit, i’m sorry” I muttered, the boy at his desk seemed barely older than I was.
“No, it’s perfectly fine. Young adults fall more frequently than expected, most falls even occur during everyday activities such walking and talking.” The boy looked up from the open book and papers scattered on his desk and It felt like I got slapped in the face by emotions that made no sense.
I couldn’t think of anything to say, I just forced my mouth closed so I could stop gawking at him. “Totally”
“Uh…” He stared at me for a second before quickly blinking a few times. “Each— Each year slips, trips and falls cause thousands of preventable injuries. In most cases, people trip on low obstacles that are hard to spot.”
I laughed, not really understanding what the boy was rambling about. Just nodding and smiling like a fool.
“Y/N” Hotch called my name, I turned to face the 2 men and the blonde. “Hey, I see you’ve met our newest SSA.”
“You’re an agent? I wouldn’t have guessed” I gave the boy another once over.
“Boy genius.” Rossi sighed “IQ of 180, photographic memory—”
“187, actually, and I have an eidetic memory. Eidetic memory refers to the ability to retain visual information with extreme precision while in contrast, photographic memory refers to the ability to remember everything in a scene, not just the visual elements.” The boy pushed his chair back from his desk, playing with the pen in his hand.
Woah.
Hotch cleared his throat. “Y/N Baker-Rossi, this is our technical analyst Penelope Garcia , and doctor Spencer Reid.”
“Baker-Rossi? As in, you, Rossi?” Garcia’s eyes widened, looking between us quickly.
“Yes.” I laughed. “From his first marriage.”
“Wow, I didn’t even know you had spawn. It’s great to meet you”
Rossi put his hand on my shoulder, taking my bag from my hands. “She’s actually here to see you, Garcia.”
“Me?”
“Y/N just completed her advanced degree in behavioral science, and while her application is pending I got permission for her to be a temporary liaison, somewhat of an assistant for you”
“Oh, assistant wow. Yes, yes. Come my child, I will be your seeing eye dog for the BAU.” Penelope linked my arm, taking the bag from my fathers hands and wishing me away. Hotch and Rossi already making their way back to the office.
I was flabbergasted to say the least, looking around as Garcia began to explain her position here. I looked back at the boy sitting at his desk and smiled. “Uh, bye Spencer”
“Yeah— Yeah, bye Y/N.” He spun his chair, watching Garcia and I as we disappeared down the hall.
When he was gone from sight, I took a deep breath. Spencer Reid.
When he spoke there was something eerily calming and familiar about him. Something in the pit of my stomach told me that this guy was special. Special in different way than being a young genius working for the FBI.
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
As we entered the bar and found somewhere to sit, JJ and I sat beside each other so she could show me pictures of her son, Henry, on her phone. Spencer at the other end of the table across from Garcia.
I finished my drink and sighed, moving away from the table taking my glass with me to the bar. Rossi passing me his empty glass with a smile as he engaged in conversation with Morgan.
“Hey” I tiredly smiled at the bartender “Can I just get another Vodka and Coke, and 3 fingers of Whiskey please.”
The bartender got to work on the drinks and I found ed my attention on my shoes.
“Y/N?” I looked up at the person calling my name. “Oh my god, it is you.” I stared at the man in utter confusion as he walked up to me, leaving his friends chatting at their table behind him. “George. We went to High School together.”
“Whoa, George Maddison?” It finally clicked, he chuckled, nodding that it was in fact him. He was a handsome sight but in my memory I can still see him wearing his Harry Potter-esque glasses in his brown coat and black beanie.
“You look amazing. And I heard you work for the FBI now, isn’t that what your dad did?”
“Thank you, I really don’t feel amazing right now so it’s much appreciated.” I laughed, thanking the bartender as he put the drinks on the counter for me. “My dad actually still works for the BAU, he’s right over there. The team is just celebrating my first case.”
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
“Spence” Garcia whispered, the boy practically grunting in response. “You’re going to burn a hole in the back of her head if you don’t stop staring.”
“I’m not staring” Reid snapped his attention to Garcia, keeping his voice low to avoid drawing attention from the other agents. He was staring, and he knew it. But of course he was there was someone else talking to Y/N, and he knew that when men go to a bar, they are typically looking for a good time, to catch a buzz, to let off steam, and maybe find someone to take home for a one night stand.
Garcia hummed, finishing the rest of her cocktail and pushing the glass towards Reid. “Here. Get me another, there’s your excuse to go interrupt.”
“Why would I interrupt, I’m sure Y/N is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She’s a highly trained federal agent and although studies suggest drink spiking may be more widespread than previously believed, on average—”
Garcia wasn’t listening, instead looking across the crowded bar at the tall blonde making Y/N smile. “He’s like Derek Morgan levels of hotness.” She muttered, Reid immediately shutting his mouth.
After a moment of silent contemplation, the 26 year old took Garcia’s empty glass and walked to the bar. Swallowing the lump in his throat and leaving Garcia smiling to herself as she thought about adding ‘Matchmaker’ to her resume.
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
“Another one of… Whatever this is” I heard Spencer’s voice behind me and turned my head to look at him.
“Hey” I smiled, my heart almost skipping a beat at the sight of my coworker.
Reid licked his lips quickly before smiling back at me. “Hey, sorry to interrupt.”
“Not a problem”
“Hi” George stuck his hand out for the lanky brunette to shake. “I’m George”
Spencer ignored his offer and instead chose to just nod at him in acknowledgment. “SSA, Dr Spencer Reid. Do— Do you two know each other?”
“Yeah, High School. We even dated for a while.”
“I wouldn’t really call going to the mall and a few kisses during spin the bottle ‘dating’.” I awkwardly laughed, swirling the straw around in my drink.
“Dating is a term coined in America to signify that stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. Most couples go on 5 to 6 dates before discussing a relationship, and some take even longer.”
George momentarily seemed frozen, letting Reid’s words sink in. “See! We were dating, and I guess technically we never broke up. Thanks dude.”
“Uh, you’re welcome, dude”
I laughed at how unnatural it seemed for Spencer to say ‘dude’. My smile even beginning to hurt my cheeks. He turned to the bartender, taking the drink they had just put down and I raised an eyebrow at him.
“What the hell are you drinking?”
“This is Garcia’s actually, she wanted me to come get it for her.”
“Oh” He didn’t want to come be my knight in shining armour, rescuing me from the mystery man that could swoop me away from him.
“What is taking the two of you so long?” Rossi asked, reaching past me to grab his drink from the bar. “You’re young, aren’t you meant to be fast? Don’t answer that Reid it wasn’t a real question”
Spencer shut his mouth quickly. Rossi sipping his drink and noticing George standing with a smile on his face.
“Mr Rossi” He put his hand out to shake again. “How are you?”
“Have we met?”
“No” I answered, I didn’t want to hear another remark about us ‘technically’ never having broken up. “We did a play together in High School but, you were on a case.”
“I’m sure you want to get back to celebrating, but i’d really like to see you again Y/N.”
I raised an eyebrow at the blonde “You would?”
“Really?” Rossi and Reid said almost simultaneously.
“Definitely. Can I have your number?”
“Uh” I thought for a minute, I didn’t want to give some guy at a bar my number and lead him on in front of my boyfriend. But on the other hand my dad was standing right there. “This job doesn’t give me a lot of time to myself.”
“I’m sure you’ll work something out” Rossi smiled, gesturing for me to put my number into his contacts. Reid’s eyes widened and for self preservation he turned and went back to the table.
“Okay.” I forced a smile, keying in my number and passing the phone back him.
George left, my dad and I waving as I went back to the table and I took my seat beside JJ again. Sipping my drink and raising an eyebrow at the stares I was receiving. “What?”
“Who was that?” Emily asked, a slightly suggestive look on her face.
“Just someone from high school.”
Rossi hummed, looking over to where George was laughing with his friends
“He’s cute” JJ commented
“Yeah.” Reid said, catching my attention. “Dude seems great”
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
We were lucky to have 2 days off before being sent on our next case, Reid and I sitting beside one another on the plane and enjoying what little intimacy we could have on the trip; Our arms touching on the arm rest.
The jet ride consisted of Rossi making popcorn, me and Morgan trying to sleep, Garcia calling us with more information and everyone doing their own thing.
As we left the airport terminal, Reid walked a few steps ahead of me, and I watched as the wind blew his hair into his face. The boy stopping and looking at me when my phone started to ring.
“Hello…?” I said cautiously
“Hey! Y/N, it’s George”
“Oh, hi. I didn’t actually expect you to call this soon, isn’t there some men’s unspoken rule to wait 3 days?”
“I’m just really excited to talk to you I guess.”
“I actually can’t talk, we just landed in North Carolina for a case.”
“Already? Wow, serial killers work fast.” He laughed on the other end of the line. “I’ll call you back some other time then”
My phone beeped and I took a second to look at it before putting the cell back to my ear “That would be great. I have to go, work call.” I hung up, not hearing whatever he tried to say before I cut him off and answering the other call. “Garcia?”
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
Hotch had split us up for the case, him, Prentiss and Rossi at the latest crime scene. JJ and Morgan at the house interviewing the family. Leaving Reid and I at the police precinct trying to find the MO, and looking for potential UnSubs.
Reid and I were professional, apart from lingering when our hands touched and the occasional longing stare. But we made it through the case without a hitch, and as soon as Morgan called to tell us they’d caught the guy we began to pack our things.
“I think it was pretty, uh, pretty hot how you worked out that the UnSub was taunting the victims.”
I scoffed, putting the photos from the whiteboard into a manila folder. “Replicating murders from famous movies isn’t that difficult to realise”
“There’s a number of generally agreed elements comprising popular culture. These aspects are often subject to rapid change, due to omnipresent media. It encompasses the most immediate and contemporary aspects of our lives.” He paused for a second to breathe and I leaned against the table to look at him. “Considering my circumvention for most aspects of modern technology or media, I show a fair amount animosity against popular culture, the likelihood that I would have figured that MO is only about 3%”
“I’m taking this as I need to educate you on horror movies”
“I’m well educated on classic horror films. In fact, I think my favourite would be Anita. The 1920 Austrian film that depicts a societal lady trapped under the spell of an unskilled hypnotist.”
“Have you ever watched anything that wasn’t a foreign black and white silent film?”
The door to the precinct briefing room opened before Reid could respond. The team walking in, exhausted from working without a moments peace.
Hotch put his phone down on the table. “Unfortunately theres thunderstorms coming in and we won’t be able to get a flight out until some time tomorrow. Garcia’s booked us into a hotel in the meantime, we can all hopefully get a good nights rest”
“I doubt that.” Emily said, a disgusted look on her face as she pushed the picture from one of the crime scenes across the table away from her. “This one was some real nightmare fuel.”
The photo made my stomach turn as well, a recreation of a scene from 1976 film The Omen. The victims face sewn into a Joker-esque smile and hung from the room of her house.
I quickly put the photo in the envelope and closed it so i’d never have to see it again.
“That gives you some time to call George.” Rossi smiled, helping pack up what was left scattered across the table.
“Dad” I groaned, earning a puzzled look from the officers nearby. Morgan and JJ chuckled at my annoyance I shot them both a glare.
“Reid, tell her she should be putting herself out there. I want grandkids eventually”
Spencer choked on air, his eyes wide as he tried to stop coughing and everyone looked at him in concern.
“Are you okay?” Emily asked, Reid nodding and putting his hand up to stop anyone from helping him.
“Um” He finally caught his breath. “Single men are far more likely than single women to be looking for a relationship or dates – around 61% compared to 38%. While looking both men and women report equal levels of dissatisfaction with their dating lives and the ease of finding people to date, women are more likely to say they have had some particularly negative experiences.“
Rossi stared at him for a moment, dissatisfied with his response. “Don’t listen to him. Call the boy.”
I rolled my eyes and Rossi picked up the case files, heading out of the precinct with the rest of the team and leaving Reid and I behind.
“That was… Uncomfortable” I laughed, combing a hand through my hair and picking up my bag.
“I was actually thinking how we could possibly utilise this whole George situation.”
“Yeah?”
Reid put his hands either side of me, pinning me against the table and putting his face a few inches away from mine. “You can tell Rossi you’re going out with him and then we’ll actually be able to spend some time together”
“And after a few ‘dates’ with George, or multiple nights where I don’t come home, how do you suppose he’ll react if I don’t start bringing George around as my boyfriend?”
“Just a few dates, not enough to be considered a relationship but enough so he’ll believe you’re trying.”
I hummed in response, my lips just about to press against Reid’s— The feeling i’d craved for the past 3 days that we’d been running around on this case—
“Agents?” One of the local officers stood in the doorway, Reid taking a large step back with his bright red face. “Sorry to interrupt, but Agent Hotchner is waiting outside.”
Clearing my throat and smiling, I moved off the table. “Thanks.”
She smiled briefly, taking one step away before turning back. “You two are a really cute couple.”
Reid put his bag on his shoulder, looking down to try and hide the smile on his face. “Thank you.”
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
Completely exhausted from the case, I didn’t even bother to change once I’d walked into my hotel room. Instead just collapsed face first on the the plush bed, the TV on at a low volume and the heavy rainfall outside lulling me to sleep.
Of course, as my mind finally went blank and eyes fluttered shut, a knock came at my door and I had to force myself up.
“Reid?” I muttered, the boy standing in the hall rocking back and forth on his heels. And nodding at me as I opened the door, eh just stepped inside and closed it behind him.
“I need you”
“Couldn’t it wait? I’m so tired.” He titled his head slightly to the side, a tuft of hair sliding down his forehead and breaking me. “Fine, what is it? Chemistry? Math? Missing sock?”
“No, no.”
“Then what?”
“I need you.”
I sighed, a ghost of a smile playing on my lips. “Spencer”
“Don’t say my name like that if you’re going to say no and send me away” His voice was so soft, breathy and faint. It set goosebumps up my arms.
Hotch’s room was beside mine, at least when Spencer snuck into my bedroom he had no chance of running in to Rossi since it was on the entirety opposite side of the house. I reached for the door handle, intent on sending Reid away, it wasn’t worth the risk even if I really wanted him right now too.
My arm brushed against his warm skin and I looked up at him, eyes locking on one other and drowning out everything around me.
I find life seldom follows the plans you've made.
Turning the lock on the door, Spencer waited for the click before hisface coming close to mine, sleepy eyes closing, medicine-sweet lips puckering up, and all the other sounds of the world going silent— The thunderstorm, whatever had been running on the television, the sound the rain made on the small balcony as it made a small puddle— all silent, as Spencer’s lips finally met mine and I couldn’t get enough of him.
I was tired and sore but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted him, all the time. His weight on top of me. I wanted feel his warm breath on my skin. I wanted his sweat to drop onto me.
Reid took a step forward, his hands sliding down my body and stopping at my hips, cold fingers sitting on the exposed skin where my shirt had ridden up. Our breathing became heavy, more desperate as we gave in to our urges.
He took another step, forcing me to take one backwards and kept doing so until I felt the hotel bed mattress behind me. I slid my hand down his chest, Reid groaning as I reached his waistband, hurriedly unbuckling his belt. I grabbed the zipper of his fly and he pulled away from me.
“You’re going to have to be really quiet” He had a painful expression on his face, eyes shifting between my lips and eyes as if it truly hurt him to pull away from me. “Y/N?”
“Yeah, I can be quiet.”
He didn’t waste another second, letting me fall back on the mattress so he could hover over me. Soft open mouth kisses along my kneel as he carefully undid the buttons on my shirt and I tugged at his zipper.
He shifted his weight, using one hand to hold himself up as he dug though his back pocket. Putting the shiny plastic wrapper in his teeth before pushing his jeans the rest of the way down before moving to undo mine.
I take the wrapper from Reid. allow him to take his own shirt off as I open it, watching as he rushes to get back to smothering me in kisses.
My hand touches his chest and begins to fall in excruciating slow designs, the boy almost whining against my lips.
Gripping a pillow in my fists as he breathes against me, hot air down my exposed him.
Reid flips, me now straddling him and allowing me to playfully tug at the ends of his hair.
My phone vibrated on the bedside table, Reid groaning in frustration and pulling away from me.
“Ignore it” I muttered, using my index finger to turn his face so he was looking at me again. The phone stopped and he smiled into the kiss until the phone started again. He pulled away. Making me the one to whine this time.
“Hello?” He said into the phone “She’s busy.”
He hung up, putting the phone back on the bedside table and gripping his hands on my thighs to pull me closer to him. Skin to skin.
I moaned and Reid laughed, moving to place a kiss under my ear and whisper. “Quiet, remember?”
I wanted nothing more in that moment than to be with him. Feeling I was about to crumble like sand as the bed creaks beneath us.
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
We all arranged to meet in the lobby, Emily and I were talking, entertaining the possibility of a ‘girls night out’ soon.
JJ walked back towards us with coffee cups in her hands, offering us each one. “Where the hell is Reid?”
“Maybe we should send someone to check on him.” Morgan walked towards the elevato, pressing the button and the doors opening instantaneously.
“Hey” Reid greeted. “Ready to go?”
“What took you so long?” Rossi asked
“I didn’t get a very good nights rest.” He walked off the elevator, heading towards the exit. “Poor sleep habits often include an irregular schedule, more than 90 percent of law enforcement officers report being routinely fatigued.”
Reid and I were in seperate cars, unintentionally splitting into women in one and men in the other. I spent the entire drive wondering what they were talking about.
“You alright, Baker?” Emily asked, looking at me in the rearview mirror
“Yeah, i’m fine.” She raised an eyebrow and I sighed. Working with profilers sucks. “I’m just trying to work out why my dad is suddenly so pushy about me dating someone.”
“Maybe he knows you have a crush on Reid.” JJ shrugged
“JENNIFER!” Emily gasped
“You guys think I have a crush on Reid? Did you hit your head or something?”
Prentiss sighed, parking the black SUV “We may have realised a long time ago. It’s not a very kept secret. I think everyone except Reid knows.”
“I’m pretty sure Morgan and Hotch are oblivious too.“ JJ laughed. Climbing out of the car.
We boarded the jet, JJ and Prentiss sharing a knowing look as I took my seat next to Spencer.
“Shut up” I mouthed, the pair of them shaking their head as Reid gave me a confused look.
As the jet started to take off, I listened to everyone’s conversations, checking my phone when it beeped to a new message from Garcia. I looked up through my eyelashes, Prentiss and JJ both looking at their phones and telling me we all just got the message.
Girls Night. Please. Tuesday. - P.G
Emily put her phone down first, mine and JJ’s buzzing again and Hotch noticing. “Are you three messaging each other?”
“Maybe” JJ smiled, putting her phone down after pressing send.
Morgan raised his eyebrow as mine and Emily’s phones buzzed again. “What are you talking about?”
Yes. We need to talk about Y/N and Reid. - E.P
Tuesday’s perfect, and I agree we need to talk about it. Code name: Romeo and Juliette. - J.J
“It’s girl talk, Morgan. And no matter how smooth you are, it’s just not for you.” I sighed, clicking send and making a point to turn my phone off.
“Come on, Cupcake, don’t do me like that.”
There’s nothing to talk about! … but I prefer Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy actually. - /.BR
We had small conversations until we landed, all heading to put away files and clean up our things before heading home.
“So?” Garcia smiled, taking a seat in my desk chair “Anything happen this time?”
“It’s a work trip, G.”
“But Em and JJ know now, so something must have happened!”
“They just worked it out, profilers notice everything.” Apart from that we’d been in an exclusive relationship for a while now.
“You two are totally smitten, just ask Reid on a date. Rossi doesn’t have to know, I can keep a secret. Swear.”
I looked at Reid talking to Morgan across the room, nobody else knowing about the purple marks hidden just beneath his collar.
“See!” Garcia signed “You’re even blushing just looking at him.”
“Nothings going to happen between us.”
“Ready to go home?” Rossi smiled as he walked up to Garcia and I, oblivious to the conversation he had just interrupted. I nodded and he adjusted his bag strap. “Did you call, George?”
Garcia’s eyes snapped to look at my face. I had to focus on how I would answer, he’d know if I was panicked or lying.
“Yeah he called last night.” Truthfully he did, it’s just I didn’t answer, Reid did.
“And?” Penelope urged
I shrugged. “I’m very busy.”
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
Girls Night Out. Usually we’d be out at a bar getting insanely drunk, but the night started at JJ’s house waiting for Will to come home.
“He’s asleep” She sighed, returning in the 3rd outfit she’d tried on since Henry had decided to throw up on her 1st dress and pee on the 2nd.
“Finally. Now we can discuss.” Garcia smiled, shifting in her spot on the sofa to look at me on the armchair. “Go on, Y/N.”
I laughed, having hoped they would have forgotten this topic over our luxurious 3 days off of work. “Discuss what?”
“Tell them how long you’ve been in love with Reid.”
“I’ve never been in love with Reid!” I protested
“First day she arrived at the BAU, the both of them, practically drooling.”
“Really?” Emily smiled, looking at me with a glint in her eye.
“Hey, well don’t you all look pretty.” Will draped his coat over the back of the couch, everyone greeting him and standing ready to leave.
“Henry‘s asleep, we’ll hopefully only be out for a few hours.” JJ kissed her partner and he gave her a warm loving smile. Maybe I could tell them about Reid and I, but we had a very different situation to others.
Most people don’t work with both their boyfriend and father.
As we left JJ’s the topic shifted and I was immediately relieved, enjoying listening to everyone’s funny anecdotes much more.
The bar we went to was busy, full of people out celebrating. Any time my glass was empty, a new one seemed to appear in front of me until I was viewing everything in a slight haze.
“I think we should go!” JJ announced loudly, pushing herself up from the table and knocking over Emily’s drink.
“At least it’s the weekend” Garcia groaned, picking up her back and adjusting her glasses.
Emily snorted “It’s Tuesday”
“Oh god”
As we managed to make our way outside, JJ’s phone rang and I whined. “Please don’t tell me someone’s murdered again”
JJ answers the call “It’s Will”
“Will!” I cheered, flagging down a taxi for us. I told the man Garcia’s address first since her apartment building was the closest, and we drove off as soon as JJ was done on the phone telling Will we were all safe.
Emily, as the most sober. was in the front telling the driver addresses and making sure we all got to the door safely.
“I’ll see you tomorrow” Prentiss sighed, knocking on the front door as I attempted to find my keys at the bottom of my bag.
Rossi opened the door, pyjamas on and sleep in his eyes.
“Dad, what’s up?” I snapped my fingers, finding my keys. I wasn’t completely drunk but I was buzzed enough that I needed a babysitter.
Rossi looked at Emily as he let me inside “Thank you” Shutting the door behind me, he put his hands on my shoulders to guide me to my bedroom. “Don’t throw up on my carpet”
“I won’t” I groaned, pulling my jacket off and throwing it on the end of my bed with my bag. Rossi turned the light on in my bathroom, walking off and returning with a large glass of water and some snacks.
“Get some rest.” He said softly, pushing a loose strand of hair from my face.
After he was gone, I yawned and pulled my phone from my bag, keying in Reid’s number.
“Spencer” I coo’d when he answered, dragging his name out.
“How much did you drink?”
“Not enough.”
“It’s been stated that to reduce the risk of harm from alcohol-related disease or injury, a healthy limit is to have no more than 10 standard drinks a week and no more than 4 standard drinks on any one day.”
I stayed silent for a few seconds, mentally trying to count how many drinks i’d had. “Then I had way too many.” Reid chuckled on the other side. “Come over.”
“Alcohol primarily affects areas of the brain associated with behavior regulation, this impairment in judgment makes people much more prone to saying the they normally wouldn’t sober.”
“But I would invite you over sober”
“A sober brain helps weigh the good and bad consequences of any decision, therefore I know that it’s probably a bad idea.”
“I hate sleeping alone”
“I believe this is what Morgan’s called a, uh, a ‘booty call’. Human nature to be monogamous but humans quite frequently engage in short-term sexual relationships as well. Evolutionary psychologists resolve this paradox by proposing that men and women employ both long-term and short-term mating strategies, depending on the circumstances. It’s important to note that—”
“Spence. Please.” There was a long pause, a few rustles coming from his end. “Spencer?”
“Hold on, I’m putting my shoes on”
By the time I heard the knocking on my window, i’d already changed into an oversized FBI t-shirt and pair or shorts. I pulled the curtains open, smiling at Reid and letting him in. Much more sober than I had been when I got home.
“Hi”
“Hi” He smiled.
He took a seat on the edge of my bed, taking his shoes off and I looked over the outfit he had on. Plaid pyjama pants, a grey shirt.
He dropped his dirty old converse and stood, stepping towards me slowly and embracing me in a warm hug. I practically melted into his arms, Reid pushing the hair from my face so he could gently kiss my forehead.
“Prentiss and JJ think I have a crush on you and you’re oblivious” I muttered, feeling his chest rise and fall as he laughed.
Moving away from him, I laid on my bed and waited for him to join me. The bed dipped and I reached for the remote on my bedside table.
Spencer raised an eyebrow “Really?”
“You need a horror movie education, i’m thinking The Shining. Morgan and I were talking the other day about how it was a revolutionary film for its time since it explored horror conventions such as isolation, fear, mental illness, and duality—”
Reid cuts me off by rolling over so that he's laying on top of me, parting my legs with one hand. "I get jealous when you talk about Derek like that," he says in a low voice, surprised that he's admitting this to her. "It gives me the wrong idea."
I can already feel my heart beginning to beat faster. "You know he’s just a friend" she whispers, my mind going wild when he leans down, pulling the neckline of my shirt and kissing my collarbone.
"But he gets to call you nicknames, and I don’t" Reid whispers back and looks down at me again.
Before I can even think about her response the words, "But i’m all yours" spill from my lips and he smirks.
Our lips become one and Reid grinds his hips against mine, groaning as he does so. He keeps moving his hips, creating a friction that make my breathing shallow— makes me want more.
He pulls away, slipping the shirt over my head and kissing around my chest. "You know how crazy this all is?" He asks, hands reaching down for the button and zipper of his jeans as I nod. Our romantic situation was our secret but we knew it was crazy since we should have just told people from the start.
He stands so that he can pull his shirt off and motions for me to get up with a finger. "Can we try something?" he says, sitting down on the edge of the bed and pulling her down with him.
He positions me so that my crotch is on his thigh and places his hands on my hips. Spencer's eyes take every single inch of my body. Never once had I felt bad about myself when with him. Whispering in my ear what he hoped to do with me tonight.
Normally, the idea of dry humping someone to the point of orgasm would sound like a ridiculous and odd suggestion, but with Spencer it was different.
We kiss again and I nod, willing to do practically anything that he could ever want to do together.
Reid’s hold on my hips tightens as he presses me down on to his thigh and, slowly, he begins to rock me back and forth.
I try to think of how many other ways he could make each other feel. Not just physically.
Placing my hands on his shoulders as he begins to move me faster, and pressing his mouth to my neck.
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
“Y/N” Rossi called out, wrapping his knuckles on the bedroom door. “Are you awake, Hotch said he tried to call.”
I shot up in bed, Reid still peacefully asleep beside me and I shook him awake. The boy blinked slowly, smiling at me like I was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.
“Y/N?”
The smile disappeared and Reid threw the blanket off of him. Rushing around the room as quietly as possible to grab his clothes.
“One second dad” I picked Reid’s boxers off the floor, throwing them at him. He pulled them, and his pants, on as I opened the window for him to climb out.
Reid put his arms in his shirt, climbing out the window and pulling his head through the hole. He rushed away and I cautiously opened the door, pretending to rub my eyes. “Good morning”
Rossi smiled, cup of coffee in hand. “Your cell must be off, Hotch called asking you to come in.”
“I’m not meant to start until 12” I sighed, looking at the clock on my bedside. 9:30am.
“Better get moving” He brought his cup to his lips, turning and walking away as I closed the door and went to close the window.
“Hey” Reid reappeared outside, startling me.
“Jesus” I put my hand to my chest. “What are you still doing here?”
“I forgot something”
“You never forget anything”
Reid kissed me quickly, his lips warm and soft. “I love you”
He left before I had the chance to say anything back, leaving me dazed at the window for a minute until I managed to force myself to get dressed for the day.
Hotch smiled as he sat me, Garcia, Prentiss and JJ at the table. “Have a fun night last night?”
“The volume is up here” Garcia held her hand above her head, moving it down to the table height. “It needs to be here”
“You still have paperwork to fill out, need it done before the rest of the team gets here.”
Sitting at my desk, I mindlessly filled out the paper. Garcia got to sit in the quiet darkness of her office, meanwhile Prentiss, JJ and I were in the open bullpen. People walking buy constantly, and since JJ had the worst hangover she was constantly complaining I looked over my desk, groaning when I couldn’t find what I was looking for and picking up my phone.
“Hey, Rossi.” I sighed, rubbing my head with my thumb and forefinger. “I must have accidentally taken one of my files home last night, do you mind grabbing it from my room?”
I could practically feel the sarcasm radiating off of him through the phone. “Oh yes my darling daughter, your wish is my command.”
“See you when you get here.” I yawned, ending the call knowing he’d grab the file from my room for me. Spencer pulled his chair out, sitting at his desk across from me. “Good morning, Reid.”
“Morning, Baker.” He greeted, glancing around before leaning forward and lowering his voice to a whisper. “Coincidentally, I found myself walking home in my socks this morning.”
He nodded to his foot, poking his leg out from the desk and I held back a laugh. “You’ll have to collect them later.”
“I guess so”
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
Rossi put his phone and keys down, closing the front door again so he could go and grab what Y/N had forgotten.
He walked into her room, spotting the folder on her dresser and picking it up.
Feeling the cold breeze coming in through the open window and walking to close it, Rossi almost tripped in the sneakers by the window.
David Rossi picked up the shoes, intent on moving them to the shoe rack in the open closet but stopped. He’d seen these shoes before, but he knew what his daughter wore.
It hit him.
Rossi knew who these shoes belonged to. And he was angry.
───── ❝ ❞ ─────
We were waiting in the briefing room, all of us chatting at the table when Rossi walked in, smacking the file down in front of me. I looked up with a smile, about to thank him when I saw the look etched on his face.
A moment later, Reid looked up at me noticing the tension and then looking up at my dad.
Rossi ran his tongue along his teeth. “Why haven’t you called George?”
“We’ve been busy, but I’ll— I’ll do it” I tried to smile but the look on his face didn’t change, instead, taking his hand from behind his back and revealing none other than Reid’s shoes.
“Crap” Spencer whispered. Everyone silencing as they tried to understand what was happening now.
“Dave?” Hotch asked “You alright?”
“Spencer? Anything you want to say?” Rossi urged
I swallowed the lump in my throat “Dad”
Rossi slammed the shoes down on the desk “He’s messing around with my kid!”
“Technically, uh, I think ‘messing around’ implies that we’re frequently having unprotected sex” All eyes went to Reid, nobody knowing what to say exactly.
“Kid—” Morgan started
“Which We’re— We’re not.” Reid held his hands up in defence. “Well, we are, uh, active just not an impractical—”
“Spencer!” I shouted, trying to get the man to stop talking all together.
“—Amount. Once a week is a common baseline, although that statistic depends slightly on age: 40 to 50 year olds tend to fall around that baseline, while 20 to 30 year olds tend to average around twice a week.”
“Spencer!”
“Right.” The boy finally stopped talking. Everyone at the table was silent, eyes shifting between Spencer and I.
“Are you really mad?” I asked quietly, Rossi pulling out his seat and putting his head in his hands.
“No” He sighed. “Disappointed.”
“Why?” He’d already walked in here and slammed shoes on the table, making it everyone’s business. They’d find out eventually so we may as well have this conversation now.
“You kept it from me. I’m your father and you were sneaking around behind my back, don’t you trust me?”
“Can I say something?” Reid asked, Rossi pointing a finger at him.
“No.”
Spencer ignored this. “In our field everyone is at constant risk. We all know someone who’s been effected by our job, it was a lot safer for us to not tell anyone when we started dating. We actually discussed telling you around month 2 but it was—”
“How long has this been going on?”
“228 days” Everyone looked at Reid. “7 months”
“Rossi, it’s not that bad.” Hotch tired to make his friend see the bright side. “Albeit I didn’t know how far it had gone, I thought it was obvious they had some sort of attractive to one another”
Rossi looked at him with wide eyes. “You knew?”
“How did you not know? They always sit next to each other, long stares and awkward glances.” Morgan practically scoffed.
“Oh shut up, none of you really knew.” I laughed, feeling the mood change in the room.
Everyone laughed, agreeing and talking about how they only thought it was a meaningless crush that we’d never pursue.
“So” Rossi started once the laughter had died down, a small smile on his face. “7 months it’s serious? You’re not going to hurt my daughter?”
Spencer tensed. “No— No sir.”
“Good, because you know I have a gun and can use it.” Rossi leaned back in his chair. “Please just knocknext time you come to my house.”
“Oh my god you would not believe how big the bucket load of crazy in this case is I—” Garcia walked into the room, ready to present us with our new case when she stopped. “What did I miss?”
“Everyone knows that Y/N likes Reid.” Emily informed her. “And that Reid likes her.”
God it sounded so much like some school yard drama.
“Everyone? Oh… So what now?”
After Penelope was caught up, and celebrated that she was right— Noting “Penelope Garcia will always notice a blooming office romance. Always. Especially if it’s love at first sight.”— We were sent to pack for our case, Reid and I staying behind in the briefing room as he put his shoes on.
“No exactly how I wanted everything to go but I’m assuming it’s been accepted. We’ll have to fill out an Employee Relationship Management in HR.” Reid stood and I grinned up at him. “What?”
“I forgot something”
He looked at the table. “No, there’s nothing—” I cut him off by kissing him, waiting until he kissed me back before pulling away. “One more, one more.” Our lips met again, full of emotion. Gentle, loving and romantic. The perfect kiss.
“I love you, too” I whispered as I pulled back, Spencer staring at me in silence, slowly sliding his hands across my body to rest in the small of my back and resting his forehead against mine.
“Hey!” Rossi knocked on the glass. “None of that. Hands where I can see them Reid, you’re a smart boy you should know better.”
Copyright © 2023 Altitude. All rights reserved.
#kinda lost it at some point#i wrote one of the last scenes first as a one shot and turned it into this garbage#spencer reid#spencerreid#criminalminds#criminal minds#dr spencer reid#ssa spencer reid#ssa david rossi#david rossi#x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfic#david rossi’s daughter#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#ao3#wattpad#fanfiction#fanfic#matthew gray gubler#MGG#don’t know if any of this is readable#smut#spencer reid smut
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still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)
anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#calling dibs on skeleton kisses as the name of my band#man scully is just a delightful little weirdo and i'm enjoying him immensely#(i'm going with scully until we get something official just because it makes me think of x-files)#(スカリー is also how the agent's name is transliterated and i don't know if it was intentional but i love it as a bonus reference)#(i want to believe™)#gosh though#'no one at school likes me because i won't shut up about halloween and jack skellington' i'm feeling VERY attacked right now twst#look scully your people are out there#just get on the forums and -- oh wait you're probably from like the 1800s or something#(my theory is that he's from the past and there's just some Book Magic going on to bring us together)#(LOOK they made a point of saying that the book fair has been held annually for a super long time)#a hot topic goth born before hot topic was invented...so sad 😔#i dunno i could be wrong but that feels like a good working theory for now#if it wasn't for mal sensing twsty ~magic~ on him i would think he's like. a christmas elf who's going to kidnap jack in a reverse-nmbc#(not ruling that out though because it would be amazing)#god all the sprites in this event look AMAZING. loving the desaturated colors and the extra drawn-on lines 😍#i'm genuinely kinda sad that we aren't gonna get to see every character like this#who knows...maybe halloweentown will be imperiled again next year...#come back and destroy my keys again please#(that said i'm doing weirdly well so far?)#(i promised i'd save for sebek and just do cursory pulls to get the SRs and not hope for the SSRs)#(...but then leona jumpscared me four coffins in anyway. halloween magic is REAL)
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KEEP THE DANGER OUT // KEEP THE DANGER IN
#billie bust up#bbu billie#bbu fantoccio#robin’s art#2024 art#COMPANION PIECES BABY!!! started these last year (month) and finally finished em!!! :33#i could write an ENTIRE essay abt billie and fanto and their parallels and stuff#which actually i love tumblr tags. lets do some of that here!#okAY IM NOT GONNA GO INTO EVERYTHING BUT HERES A BASIC RUNDOWN OF SOME OF MY THOUGHTS#let’s start by looking at goatshire + the lost city of magic !!#both places have some kind of border around them keeping SOMETHING in/out#goatshire’s wall keeping the trolls/other danger out; keeping the villagers inside safe#and the city’s barrier keeping the curse inside; while keeping everyone outside safe from it#but in turn it’s also keeping billie and fanto trapped in their respective places#one moreso than the other i guess but ahahaha. haha. heh. OKAY MOVING FORTH#unrelated but how sick would it be if the barrier broke and let the curse out. just sayiiin.. a lil theory thats been on my mind recently#anyways back to THE POINT#okay this parts gonna sound insane BUT JUST HEAR ME OUT HERE#goatshire citizens / the cursed city citizens.#billie and fanto both kinda stick out in their respecitve homes; fanto being the only uncursed guy and billie with their magic#so theres like. a real disconnect between them and others there. u get what i mean.#theyre both outliers and like something something allegory for neurodivergence and struggling to connect with others probably#SORRY GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF. idk how to explain it BUT DO U GET IT!!! DO U UNDERSTAND!!!!#also they were both abandoned by SOMEone stares at arthur#okay specifically whoever fanto’s cretaor was left him behind but u know me im such a fanto elmtwig jak#something something loneliness and being left behind and having ppl around you who kinds understand u but also not totally. kicks rock#someone get these siblings some THERAPY!!!!!!!#this was a very disjointed explanation bUT HOPEFULLY I GOT MOST OF MY THOUGHTS ACROSS GOOD. IM BAD AT EXPLAINING THINGS SORRY#someone order me a yappuccino!!!!! BYE!!!!
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Father daughter bonding time because father daughter bonding time
#hilda netflix#hilda the series#art#digital art#artwork#hilda season 3#johanna hilda#the hands are kinda confusing#also first time drawing Phinium was such a slay#not being humble today#I’ll draw Lydia and her at some point to be fair or whatever#I was going to add her but I suddenly lost motivation and couldn’t be arsed#oh well#also poor woff#dropped down a flight of stairs or something poor guy
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WAIT WAIT WAIT CHERIK MPREG IS CANON
i cannot stress enough how canon cherik mpreg is, yes my friend
#snap chats#i could elaborate in the main body but i cant distract from the epic statement 'cherik mpreg is canon'#ill elaborate down here tho LOL. not extensively Just Enough to provide context#anyways 90's run where erik's on his bullshit as per usual and at some point rips the adamantium out of logan's body#which causes charles to . how do you even describe what happens Like He Invades Erik's Mind To Get Him To Cut That Shit#cause this was just The Final Straw at that point#but the problem is while charles is in erik's mind. And I Quote. Paraphrase Whatever Its Been A Minute#'something implants itself within charles' and onslaught just kinda festers in the back of charles' mind for a while#and onslaught is basically just. every evil/dark/wrong thought charles has ever had + erik's rage and 'lust for power'#my exact memory of events gets hazy here but im p sure charles abandons his body for a bit which enables onslaught to take over#aaaand yeah we have that thing running around now. kinda. we made a pocket dimension to escape it.#onslaught returns in krakoa after being implanted in a mutant named lost#and onslaught would feed off the lost time in-between resurrections#like say you die monday and get brought back wednesday- all of tuesday goes to feeding onslaught#he doesnt actually Show Up show up for most of it hes more of a looming presence which i fw#and then he tries to get everyone to kill each other at the gala while making charles delete back-up data#onslaught does physically appear by the end of onslaught revelation once charles snaps out of the mind control at the gala#and erik's checking on him and Im Pretty Sure just by virtue of them being next to eachother onslaught manifests#cute shit really !!!!! but yeah thats a very VERY quick (and prob a lil wrong) rundown of onslaught's premise
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on one hand, eiffel had many, many more pressing things to worry about by then, but he has no idea how close he came to finding out what was in box 953. he almost told lovelace the story. all that time, she could've solved the mystery for him, if only she knew.
on the other hand... eiffel is very genre-savvy and (usually) has really good gut instincts. he makes a lot of startlingly good assumptions - and some really, really off base ones. in the same way he accuses pryce & cutter of being aliens... don't you wonder what he thought was going on with box 953? large mystery box, really cold, sounds like there's a "heartbeat" inside, "reserved for douglas eiffel"? he must have thought about it. especially after everything that comes up about clones, and making new bodies, and making new humans. the logical leap there based on sci-fi genre conventions would be wrong, in this case, but he doesn't know that. i'm sure the thought crossed his mind (and he decided he'd rather not think about it.)
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#i made a post about the first part of this at some point and like. the serious angle of that too is#1) i wonder if eiffel would feel responsible for their version of eris if he knew the truth? 2) fourier's diaries were presumably#among the things that were lost and that's. well.#but more in the spirit of this particular post it's kind of funny if he built up this fear about it based on sci-fi genre assumptions#and then is genuinely kinda disappointed when lovelace is like oh yeah we had that too it has nothing to do with you. like oh okay then
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Haha, it's so funny how I am so indecisive that I go "I wanna draw my son" and then have too many ideas as to how. So here!
Take Ferdinands (and a Felix, I suppose, bc they are boyfrinds in my heart and soul).
#ferdinand von aegir#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#and for those of you who might not know it i did have an au where ferdinand was a vampire#hence the fangs and wings teehee#but i also have an au where ferdinand is a fallen angel which isnt like he did anything bad#he simply gave up his angel life to be a mortal and devote the mortal life to very human felix#and it was actually a huge mess of a plot bc felix died in that plot and was brought back as if nothing ever happened#and ferdinand didnt actually know this happened so hes just super happy still bc he still thinks everything is good#and felix is stuck with a grim reaper and a soul dealer watching him and talking to him and no one else can see them#anyway ferdinand as always in that plot is a pure delight and felix has no idea he was an angel at some point#and in the vampaegir au hes a half vampire bc mom was human and dad was a vampire#so he kinda lost the SEVERE WEAKNESSES therefore is fine in the sun and yeah... still needs blood but not as often#also how dare i only draw a puppynand and not a ferdinyand i shoulda squozen a catboy in there#rip and also how dare i not draw my beloved dancernand#anyway thats the tags c ya
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The Rosho Special☆ Cream of the Crop Curry: Hypmic Curry Drama Track TL
Sasara: Oh, you’ve really been cookin’!
Rei: That curry smell is really making me hungry!
Rosho: It’s a miracle I was able to even decipher what you meant in that text! Why am I the only one working on this??
Sasara: Don’t sweat the small stuff! Have you finished making our super interesting curry yet?
Rosho: I did my best to follow your recipe but…
Rei: Hm? You didn’t make a normal curry?
Sasara: Tut tut tut! You see, this curry was made with some special ingredients!
Rei: It looks brown like any other curry, so I can’t tell the difference.
Sasara: I’ll give you a hint! I was thinking of calling it, "This Curry's Got You Gigged!!" Setting off any bells??
Rei: You can’t be thing about… Actually, no, that hint was so stupid, I got nothing for you.
Sasara: Hey now!!
Rosho: I used flounder in the curry, but if you can’t tell that at a glance, that’s gotta mean your joke’s fallen flat, right?
Rei: The curry’s meant sell, so it should have a little more impact.
Sasara: I guess you’re right… It’s gotta be appealing televised too…
Rosho: Let’s take a moment to brainstorm.
-----------
Sasara: *pops a cold one open* Man, nothing’s coming to mind at all…!
Rei: The theme you had settled on was, “A Bizarre Brown Curry,” right?
Rosho: We shouldn’t even try to be teeming with themes! It’s all about the flavours!!
Sasara: “Okra-zy Curry” doesn’t sound too bad!
Rosho: Okra me a river!!
Rei: How about “Kelp!! Addicted to Seaweed Curry”?
Rosho: Oh, now you’re just sailing on his coattails!
Sasasa: “Ya Kraken Me Up Squid Curry”!!
Rosho: Quit it with the seafood puns!! Geez, you’re not even trying to solve the root of the problem.
Sasara: Nyahaha…! No, yeah, you’re right.
Rei: But curry’s just curry, isn’t it? How can you even get someone to give a laugh at it at just a glance?
Rosho: How many times do I gotta say, that’s why we’re sittin’ around thinkin’ about it!!
Sasara: I think the alcohol’s getting to us~ Let’s get some food down, so we can sober up.
Rei: I agree. I’d like one order of flounder curry with rice!
Rosho: You takin’ my home as an izakaya?? Serve your own curry!!
Sasara: Phew whee, Mista Rosho here sure is stingy!
Rei: Well, sounds like I got no other choice.
---------------
Rei: Hey, so this is getting annoying to handle, you mind if I use this whole pot?
Sasara: Rosho, whatcha want me to do with this bag?
Rosho: Shut up, the both of you!! For now, just bring everything to me.
Rei: And there. Rice is served~
Sasara: And here’s a bit of the curry to top it off!
Rosho: Oh yeah, we’re using this too!
Sasara: “A White Stew for Rice”? You brought out some boil in bag goods you had bagged up?
Rosho: A student of mine gave it to me as a souvenir from a Hokkaido trip. It apparently has some Hokkaido specialties in it.
Rei: Their milk is incredibly tasty. And so… *pours it in*
Rosho: Hey!!!! What the heck are you doing??
Rei: This is my specialty, “Stew On This Rice”!
Rosho: The bag wasn’t even boiled yet… I guess I’ll stick it in the microwave.
Sasara: Wait a sec!
Rosho: What are you making that serious face for?
Sasara: If it’s cream… How does “Cream Of The Crop Curry” sound??
Rei: Ohhh, we are aiming for something eye-catching but… Wait, actually, this might work.
Rosho: It’s more of a stew though…
Sasara: Let’s have a taste test first!
*microwave dings*
DH: *eats*
Sasara: Woah??? This creamy stew and rice pair together so well!!
Rei: And this white colour gives it quite the impact.
Sasara: This is it! This is the curry that’s going to carry Dotsuitare Hompo to victory!
Rosho: But this isn’t curry?? What do you mean we’re going to use a stew??
Rei: Why’re you fussing? All we have to do is say we made a white curry.
Rosho: Then how do you explain how we made it??
Rei: White curry does exist, you know. There are spices for it and everything. Curry connoisseurs would be familiar with it.
Sasara: Is that so?? Well, there you have it, Rosho! I’ll let you figure out what those spices are!
Rosho: No, you won’t!! Shouldn’t we all be trying to figure this out??
Rei: Ahaha! I believe you’ll figure it out somehow.
Sasara: Alright! “The Rosho Special☆ Cream of The Crop Curry” is definitely going to take us to the top!!
#sasara nurude#rosho tsutsujimori#rei amayado#dotsuitare hompo#hypmic#hypnosis mic#HOW DO DH TRANSLATORS DO IT I WAS MISERABLE TRYING TO MAKE THEIR STUPID PUNS WORK#a lot got lost in the sauce i'm sorry i'm not better at this lol 🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️#first and foremost is that the title in romaji reads 'omoshiroi karee'#and that the word for 'white' is 'shiroi'#'omoshiroi' and 'shiroi' you see the pun right lmao#i decided to tl it as cream of the crop bc cream is a shade of white and it has milk lol win win i think#this whole thing was made of little puns like that i'll type them out if you ask but i won't in the tags lol#also if you've had a rice and chicken casserole add some curry spice to it and that is exactly this curry LMAO#i understand why rosho was concerned lmao but it was incredibly tasty lol#a very familiar tasting curry bc it tasted like a casserole but idk i kinda wanna dock points off for it lol#we'll see how it falls in the end lol#curry tl
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Arms tonite is so jimcurly coded actually
#feels like one sidded thing on jimmys part#or could be curly just LOOSING it.#i have a weird hc that that scene where hes laughing#is his final psychological break#like hes just lost it at that point and all the abuse culminating into sone fucked form of pity#just like the beginning.ironic#he just finaly developes some messed up fucked Stockholm syndrome right there and then#and starts blaming himself and everyone BUT jimmy#like another poster said...curly is like a beaten house wife trying to make sense of this sensless abuse and often cast doubt on others#i think its kinda a cop out to just say once he was disabled he went full on hating jimmy#its more interesting to show more intensed mix emotions of pity. hate. love. disgust and fear from curly#but thats just me idk#mouthwashing#jimcurly
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Hi! I know you have a few OCs, and I was wondering if you had a toyhouse to keep basic info about them
Heyo!
No, I don't have any info about my OCs laying around anywhere, except the few snippets you see here on tumblr. Didn't draw or work on them for a long time so nothing is really up to date.
#I always was more the type who kept OC stuff private or only used them for RPs with friends#Also kinda lost the joy of creating own characters with own worlds/stories at some point#Astra the AziraCrow bebbeh is currently the only active OC and that was more by accident than really planned#but now that I am thinking about it I really miss some of my old OCs like my cockroach man Sylvester#or bouncy boy Kiizu
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A smiling Jean Lannes to hopefully cheer up your day, but especially @apurpledust, who this piece is for in our art trade! ;)
#jean lannes#napoleonic wars#napoleon's marshals#artists on tumblr#i kinda lost the plot at some point but I hope you like him anyway#my art
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beauty and beast au but Claire’s the one cursed because she’s the only one I can see literally pissing a sorceress off enough to get cursed. (If we’re going off the original movie Jim would probably offer them a hot meal and a room for the night, knowing him he’d make everything super accommodating)
#are we seeing the vision or have I lost my mind#Jim would literally drop everything to help this literal hag who waltzed through the door#Claire would..not be doing that#bonus points if the witch is Morgana then they’re throwing hands#I could see her trying to offer a deal like say she’s after Claire’s magic and sevitude or something and when she refuses boom Morgana#curses her and everyone else that’s in the ballroom at the time#And because it’s Morgana she’d probably make the curse super difficult to break#so like by the time she’s 18 if she doesn’t agree to serve Morgana when the last petal on the rose falls she dies with the rose#so Claire’s kinda given up on hope cuz she’d rather die than give Morgana her magic#Barbara’s a traveling doctor so her and Strickler set off to another town for a trip and get caught in the snow storm#and they get locked up for entering the castle and trespassing#Jim goes after them because they don’t come back the day after#instead of Claire keeping them there though I think she’d just give all three the chance to leave with some pressing from her friends#Jim ends up rethinking his decision due to the fact that Toby even as a cursed object can’t for the life of him keep a secret#when he hears the castle is under a curse he’s immediately interested in helping#even if Claire really just wants this nosy human boy and his parents to be on their way#oh shit I think I just wrote another au#trollhunters#tales of arcadia#jim lake jr#claire nuñez#toa#jlaire#this was just chillin in my drafts for awhile#avi rambles
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Man that DLC's final boss has got me feeling kinda fucked. I'm kinda depressed about it now that I'm done. Everything else is, was, so good. But I do not like that plot development. I honestly think it is bad. Why did they choose not to foreshadow this in literally any way? Why did Miquella attempt to resurrect Godwyn at all in the first place, then? Practice? Was this really what was originally planned? There's no actual evidence to the contrary so you gotta assume it must've been.
So yeowch...
#sote spoilers#elden ring#tlgtw ooc#literally actually nothing from the base game is resolved. Except where the Land of the Numen were.#That in itself is fine tho--actually. It's clearly a statement: Marika's hair talisman from Shaman Village confirms this for me.#Some things are lost to history or just plain out of reach. And there's nothing anyone can do about it.#We'll never ACTUALLY know who the Gloam-Eyed Queen was--just that all signs pointed to Miquella.#But there's no way to confirm it: Nobody's alive to tell the tale.#So like. THAT part. The extancy of all those unanswered questions. I actually am not gonna lie I kinda really like that. Despite everything#But I think Radahn Consort of Miquella is fucking terrible. “Miquella saw how kind Radahn was” I'm sorry HOW kind was Radahn?#The fucking infinite warmonger who literally explicitly made himself a copy of Godfrey?#There are literally ZERO examples of Radahn being kind in any way. Outside of having one (1) pet horse.#It should've been Godwyn. I'm not even kidding. Godwyn at least is someone who has explicitly succeeded in diplomacy.#Since he befriended his mortal enemy Fortissax and spared the Ancient Dragons by creating the Dragon Cult.#THAT'S something you could point to as an example of kindness. Especially since that's Godfrey's direct heir.#WHAT the FUCK does RADAHN do?????#He doesn't do anything!!! He just kills people!!#We never even get to see what weapon Godwyn used to use!#I don't like it. I think it is not very good.#Rest of the DLC is astounding but how can it all lead up to that? Ah...#Nothing like I had imaged: There's a lot I have to figure out now.
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we lost the game but i won in looking cracked in front of strangers so did we (i) really lose (yes)
#overwatch#overwatch 2#hanzo#potgs#im tagging my potgs now because im a loser and the potgs ill share will prob have some stupid silly story with them#also this was just kinda sicko ... i dont have friends so im sharing my ow highlights with tumblr ...#maybe ill actually start switching up my highlight intros then if im gonna start sharing potgs ... gotta mix it up and all ...#this is a lie the only thing that will change is the skin i use i love the cupids kiss highlight intro too much. so silly ..#>says he barely uses the cupid skin >is using cupid skin#LISTEN I ACKNOWLEDGED HOW LITTLE I USED IT also i didnt get the drake master skin and i like being thematical with my skins for maps ..#cupid's gonna have to be our next best bet for. medieval germany JVLAERKJVKLJ#I DIDNT KNOW DRAKE MASTER WAS A SKIN IT CAME OUT WHEN I WAS ON HIATUS AND ITS SO COOL IM MAD#not like id be able to get it anyway probably but still ... its the principal ..#anyway Disgusting idk what demon comes over me durin shit like this im not this consistent#AT THE START OF THE MATCH TOO I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW WE LOST THE FIRST POINT AFTER THIS#LIKE WE DIDN'T EVEN CAP- THE TEAM WAS WIPED AFTER THIS I GOT THAT KIRIKO AND SOLIDER A LIL AFTER THSI#i exhausted all of my bullshitting energy into this clip and fumbled the rest i fear#i still appreciate our zen saying i was insane tho ... ty king ...
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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★rotemntee. rottmnt. rotemntee. rottmnt. guys. guys I think I'm. I'm gonna erh supernova.★
#★context urhhh#'rotemntee' are called (I think) the alien species in andy's suriano's new project—#the lost company#which in case you don't know— these aliens are kinda urhhhhh..#the counterparts of some very cool humanoid crime fighting reptiles#yes I'm wording this poorly for legal reasons..#what legal reasons bro you literally mentioned the name of the show in the post#hush mf#no you#..yeah urh#I might be going a bit feral erh#just a cool observation I wanted to point out =P#erh. go support the 'lost company' project by the way#there are numerous posts bout it on twitter and such#oh and make sure to back it up as well =P#..no this is not sponsored lmfao.★#lc#lostcompany#lost company#rottmt#riseofthetmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#andy suriano#rotemntee aliens
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