#kinda crazy man…. that would never happen haha…. what

[bubzterr]

pov u brought dr perky instead of dr pepper to krillin and 18’s bbq

[madamechrissy]

♡ Time after Time ♡

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ CEO! Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Just sexual tension in this chap hehe, more explicit as we go. Gojo is really a dick at first FYI

♡ ♡ Word Count ♡ ♡ 4.2k

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ Satoru Gojo is your boss And you've been his head assistant for over two years now. You do everything for him, including and not limited to cleaning his messes, picking out his clothes, and writing his speeches. Sixteen hour days... night calls... You are tired of being overworked and at his beck and call. You decide you are going to put in your two weeks notice. He is shocked, and wants to try to keep you, because you're the best. But you know better. Right? . You really wanna fucking quit. You also wanna fuck him. Also, fuck him.

A/N (Kinda has 'two weeks notice' vibes a bit! No use of y/n.) Fully finished. This was my first gojo fic so maybe a Lil less put together than my current ones

Masterlist-

Chapter 1

You looked up at him from your desk. You were tired, so damn tired. You needed a fucking break, a long one. Your mind wanders to that vacation away from Tokyo that will never happen, not because you don’t have vacation days or money. Nope, it was  because you work far too fucking much, twelve to sixteen hour days sometimes. For him, your damn boss, Satoru Gojo.

Always asking you to stay late, always running his errands, saving his ass, covering for him. Writing speeches, making presentations, finding him dates even. When Gojo wanted something, he got it, and it didn't matter if it ruined every plan you ever had, you had to get it done for him.

He ran casinos, owned a hotel, a nightclub, you name it, Satoru Gojo owned it. He’d inherited some from his family but mostly he was self made. Even the tower you worked in, Kamo Tower, was one of the best in the city. Everything Gojo touched seemed to turn to gold, or better yet platinum.

You had been so excited two years ago to be his intern, then ecstatic when you quickly moved up the ranks to be his head assistant. You made good money, enough to send home to your family and take care of them too. But you literally were constantly at that man's beck and call.

Your tired eyes lower as you rest your chin on your hand for a moment, for even last night at two am you'd had to run to his fucking rescue.

You were asleep, but the phone never stops fucking buzzing.

Dick boss: I need you.

You: no.

Dick boss: triple OT pay?

You: fuck. What is it?

Dick Boss: I'm in a bit of a bind…

The bind? Three passed out naked women in his bed, and a room destroyed, that he needed to get fixed so he could sleep. Yeah.

The night before? Well he had urgently needed you to pick out his outfit for his soiree, he was too coked out to pick apparently. And Gojo Satoru had so many three piece suits, ties and shoes, it was actually disgusting.

Nanami Kento walks up to you, overworked from his own boss in the building, a trait you two share as head assistants. He hands you a cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup, with your name written on it in sharpie, clearly from one of the coffee shops nearby. If you had time to have a fucking life you would have flirted with him, for sure. Maybe he would have, too?

Dirty blonde and handsome, his suit stretched across his muscles just so… and fuck if he didn’t look like he needed a damn vacation too.

“Long night?” Kento asked, grabbing you out of your thoughts, an amused and tired expression on his face. You sigh, nodding.

“Thank you for the coffee. I owe ya one.” You let the sweet liquid hit your lips, eyes peering to Gojo's office. There was some lady in there, pretty as fuck in some crazy attempt at business stripper, but he for some reason was scowling at you. What, you dared to sip coffee and not work for two minutes?

“Not at all. Happy birthday.” 

“Shit that’s today?” You teased, but you did know.

“We don’t really get birthdays.”

“Haha no we don’t. But thank you!”

“Of course. Take care of yourself okay? Gojo is… ugh.” Nanami looked disgusted as he shook his head, pushing up his fancy glasses. You couldn’t help but giggle at that as Nanami walked off.

Your phone rings, because of course Gojo can't just come to you, you must go to him. Your eyes roll.

“Yes, Sir?” You answer the phone, tapping your glittery manicured nails on your desk, the one treat you gave yourself.

“My office.” That silken command may have excited most women, shit, most human beings, but it was a source of annoyance for you.

“Coming.”

You sighed, hanging up the phone and sipping your coffee. The office coffee usually went cold daily with the amount of shit you had to do. You smooth down your dress, adjusting the buckle of your belt just a tad before walking towards the giant glass office.

Gojo’s office had floor to ceiling windows surrounding it that had a ridiculous view of the cityscape below. You all were on the top floor of Kamo Tower, after all. The air was filled with a faint scent, woodsy and fresh, a signature fragrance that lingered in the space, distinctive to Gojo.

As you enter, you see Gojo himself reclining casually in a lavish chair, his signature Gucci sunglasses on, covering those ridiculous blue eyes. Which you honestly appreciated because he made shit hard to focus, even after two years of working as his assistant.

“Sir?” You stand there cautiously, thinking of just putting in your notice then and fucking there, like that dream you had in your two hours of sleep.

“Status update on my meetings?”

“I sent you them all.” He smirked, arrogant. You grit your teeth. “You have two meetings today, Sir, one for the new hotel partnership, then you have a meeting with Mr. Suguru about your casino. And of course, you have your event tonight.”

“Speaking of that, I need you to come with me tonight for the charity ball.” You sigh, shutting the door behind you, resting your aching head against it.

“I asked for tonight off.” You murmur, and Gojo scoffs, grinning, damn fangs like some vampire glinting from the sun that beamed in. He stands, stretching his long elegant limbs, before he walks closer to you, making the scent of him waft through your senses.

“I'll pay you well. Plus you’ll be going as my date for the event, not going to make you actually work. You'll get to relax and shit. Drinks and food.”

“As your date?” You blink, pursing your lips.

“I know, it’s kinda a dream scenario.” He laughed at his own joke, a habit he certainly had.

“Since when does CEO Satoru need a date? Especially me . I can just arrange you a date like I always do.”

“It's a delicate partnership and I need someone who is smart. Not eye candy. I need you, law school girl. Plus you’re American, and a lot of the people there are too. So it’s a no brainer.” You sighed, the comment about eye candy biting.

Men hit on you pretty frequently, any time you weren’t working, which you could not say was very often. But of course Gojo banged models on the regular, and you had no time to look like a model, you barely had time to slap on some mascara and concealer every day to hide how tired you were.

“So you don't need anyone pretty… is what you're saying.”

He pauses then, frowning at you. “You're very pretty.” He'd never said that. He'd barely complimented your work. You catch your breath; looking up at him, curious how he had gotten just an inch away.

“‘Not eye candy.’”

“We'll no, you dress kinda boring… like business and shit. Not sexy at all. I mean I’ve never seen you not in a business dress unless it’s at night and I call you, then you wear pajama shorts and shit?”

You snort. “I would dress up if I had a life. All I do is work.”

“Exactly, that’s what I mean by not ‘eye candy’. How you dress, not your looks. But I'll make sure your outfit looks killer, no need to thank me.” Gojo winks at you, lowering his shades, those insane cerulean eyes making you overheat against your will. Big and glittering with silver, the irises the prettiest blue that the earth could scarcely recreate. Eyes that made anyone do anything he wanted.

You were almost immune to that by now.

“It's my fucking birthday and you want me to do overtime?” You demand, and frowns with those full lips.

“Birthday?” Gojo looks confused, as if you should not have one of them, for it’s inconvenient.

“Yeah. Twenty-sixth.”

He evaluates you. “Why did I think you were like twenty two?”

“I’m not sure. If I was I wouldn’t even have my law degree yet, baby face maybe. But it’s my third birthday here, and you never give me the day off. I will absolutely not put in OT.”

“What, you have plans, hot shot?” Gojo chuckles, his tone mocking.

No. Sure don't. “Yep.” You lie. He knows.

“Cancel em.” He shakes a hand dismissively and you scowl.

“No.” You cross your arms under your breasts, and his gaze darts down for the briefest of moments.

“No?” No one turned Gojo down. No one ever told the gorgeous CEO no. His six foot four frame hunched as he placed an arm on one side of you, peering down, frown still on his handsome features. You bravely glare back up at him.

“No. Gojo, I'm really exhausted, and I just want to have fun and actually relax for my birthday.”

“Have fun with me. And make killer money. Win win.”

“That's work. Not fun.”

“Hmm.” He tilts your chin up with his long fingers, making you peer up at him, surprised at the contact. “I'll make it fun. Promise. Then I'll give you the day off tomorrow. Deal?”

“I could find you a smart American girl? Eye candy too.”

“You're my best, though, I need you.”

Bastard.

“Ugh. Fine.”

He grins, and you catch a breath as he backs away. “Good. I'll have the outfit brought to your apartment later? I’m assuming you don’t have anything fancy enough for this one.”

“Probably not. Fine. Need my size?”

His eyes are drinking you in as he smirks. “You think I haven’t gathered your size by now?” Your cheeks overheat. Though you’re used to him, at the end of the day you still had a damn vagina, and it reacted to him. He chuckled deeply, turning away and waving a hand. “You're dismissed.”

Just like that, your birthday night was just work. Work for Gojo.

***

“Can’t wait to put in my two weeks ugh.” You grumble to yourself as you finish up your makeup, for once having fun with it. If you had to work your birthday you would absolutely look gorgeous for it. Lashes, winged liner, red lips.

The dress he had ordered laid in a satin box on your white day bed. You sigh, opening it finally, and you blink rapidly as you look at the gown encased in baby blue and white tissue paper, the colors of Gojo himself. You gently pulled out the gown and most of your irritation died off.

Black and decked with sequins, it glittered in the light, it was a velvety fabric, as soft as a caress. As you slid it on it glided over your curves, accentuating the nip at your waist, the arch of your hips. The neckline plunged ridiculously low, revealing a generous amount of cleavage that you typically kept under wraps at work. You wonder how Gojo knew you had just so much up top…

Pervert is what he was.

Pervert with killer taste.

The dress had a slit that went dangerously up one of your well toned thighs, exposing nearly all of one leg, while the rest of the dress hit the floor. It was if he truly knew every measurement you had, for the dress could not have hit any better. Those damn analyzing eyes of his…

You spun to look at the back of the dress, which dipped daringly as well, exposing an expanse of skin, from shoulder blades down to the dimples on your lower back. You rummage through your little cherry wood jewelry box, eyeing to see what would work with the dress. Luckily, everything went well with black, so you snatched up a pretty silver cross necklace and earrings.

A text pops up, and you read it.

Dick Boss: Waiting out front in the car.

You: Just a few.

You slip on your shoes and spritz some body spray on, your favorite from Victoria’s Secret you save for special things, then slide on a pair of black heeled boots, contemplating putting on underwear. Did it matter what kind? It wasn’t like you’d had any dick since like college at this point. And you definitely weren’t fucking Gojo, since neither of you were interested.

You because you saw the girls he fucked. Him because… you weren’t ‘arm candy’. Or a dumb ass bimbo. Sometimes you wished you were, since they seemed sweet and happy in life, while you drowned.

Dick Boss: I’m waiting…”

Fucking Gojo. Ugh. You decide to slide on some lacy boy shorts, just in case that slit did go too high you’d have some coverage. Peeking one last time at the mirror, you had to admit you looked beautiful. You text Gojo.

You: Coming now.

You locked up and headed down the stairs of the apartment building, and there was Kiyotaka, Gojo’s driver, opening the door of the black limo for you. Kiyotaka, who somehow was your age now. That boggled your mind more than Nanami. Gojo wore people out, very clearly, but even you had it easier than Kiyotaka.

“My lady.” He said sweetly, and you smiled at him, sliding in, and there Gojo was across from you, long arms spread across the backs of the seat, his head rested back so that his throat was exposed. His head snapped down, and he looked right at you, no sunglasses, only those eyes. His lips parted, and you tensed, prepared for some lewd comment or rude one.

He blinked those white spiky lashes, arms sliding down as Kiyotaka shut the door, gaze taking you in ever so slowly, as if he had all the time in the world. You felt yourself holding your breath as it lazily traveled down and back up your body, clutching your little black evening bag tightly.

“You look…” He trailed off, shaking his head a bit.

“Thank you for the dress.” You cut him off. He exhaled, nodding.

“Of course. Consider it my birthday gift. You look… really fucking hot.”

You giggled at that. Not beautiful or breathtaking. But you’d take it. “Thank you, the dress is so beautiful.”

“Your body is that banging and you hide it like that?” He was somehow right next to you now, and you shiver a bit at the nearness. “I should reprimand you.”

You roll your eyes. “I can’t dress like this at work.”

“You sure the fuck can. I’m the boss, I say so.” His fingertips trailed down your shoulder, and it sent tingles through your body. Why was he so close? “I’m buying you a new wardrobe.”

“The fuck you are. I like to be professional, unlike you.” You smack his hand off errantly, and your bare shoulder grew cold without the touch.

“You do really look good.” You took in his outfit, a black tux, which fit his slim muscles perfectly. It was some shit Bruce Wayne would wear. Maybe Gojo was some super hero or villain. It would fit.

“You do too. You always do.”

“I know.” He winked at you, leaning forward to snatch up champagne and pop it, pouring you both glasses. You took one, letting the bubbles tickle your nose, taking a sip of the sweet drink, moaning softly and shutting your eyes.

“Delicious.” You lick your lower lip and find him a breath away. You don’t move, but you’re frozen, confused as he looks at you like he never has. “Satoru?”

“Are you really thinking of quitting?” He asked softly. You have never seen Gojo like this.

“How did you know?”

“I know everything, baby girl.” He gently runs his long fingers through your hair, a rare frown on his lips.

“Baby girl? The fuck, Satoru. Yes I was thinking of it, an seducing me is not going to change my mind. Is that the point of this?” You demand, irritated, and against your better judgement, fucking horny. His eyes study your own seriously.

“If that was my intention, you’d damn sure know.” Each word was bit out, distinctive, and his hand tightened in your hair, far too strong, yanking your head back. You scowl up at him, your hands clenched into fists.

“Oh, would I?” You challenged him, notching your chin up a bit. He laughed but it was without humor.

“How many women have you heard me fuck in my office? How many have you had to send home? You think I don’t know how to fuck the shit out of you if I wanted to. You wouldn’t even be able to walk.”

Gojo’s whisper was against your lips, and you could taste whiskey on his breath, mixed with his mints he constantly sucked on. He wasn’t touching you, but he was so close you could feel him…

“I won’t fuck you though, so what’s the point of even joking about it. You don’t want me anyway. Not your type.” He snorted, and one of his big hands came to your waist, touching the bare skin of your back and wreaking havoc on every sense you’ve ever had.

“You know my type?” You nod. His thumb brushed under your breast, an action that made the peaks of your breasts tighten, aching against the sequined gown. Damn if his gaze didn’t drop down. You cursed yourself. “The women who entertain me aren’t necessarily my type.”

“Hmm.” It grew difficult to focus. You sip your champagne, leaning back a bit, but Gojo’s grip stays. “It doesn’t matter. You’re talking out of your ass. Too much cocaine tonight?”

His grip tightened, and it made you gasp, looking up at his darkened eyes in the dim light of the limo. “I haven’t had any. I’m just pretty fucking irritated my best assistant wants to leave. You’re ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful!” You snort at that, tossing back the champagne and grabbing at his hand, his wrist, trying to get him off of you. “How the fuck, Satoru? I literally do everything for you!”

“And I pay you damn good!”

“I know. I’d rather be broke somewhere than do sixteen hour days. It’s my damn birthday and here I am!”

“As if you really had plans. You have no friends and no life.”

“Bullshit.” You grit your teeth, shoving at his hard chest. “That’s because I have no damn time! You think I wouldn’t have a boyfriend or something by now?”

“Maybe that’s your problem, why you’re so bitchy and stuck up all the damn time. You need to get fucked good.”

You slapped him then. Slapped your Boss. Slapped Satoru Gojo.

His hand caught your wrist, brutally squeezing, pale cheek just hinted with pink from your mark.

“Ring a little true?”

“I can get fucked if I want.” You yank your hand back.

“I didn’t say that. Clearly you can get fucked. It’s just you don’t even want to and you blame it on my hours, as if you were the type.”

“I’d fuck Nanami Kento if I had any damn time.” Gojo’s eyes widened at that, and his grip on your waist became brutal. “Yep. Sure would. He’s built as fuck, oh and he remembered my birthday. If either of us had time I sure would. So does that answer it for you?”

Gojo bared his teeth at her, a little blue vein in his temple popping out. Your heart beats in your chest, brutally, the thudding loud in your ears. “You… would fuck… Nanami… Kento?”

Each of his words were forced through his teeth.

Ah, you made him mad.

Good.

“Who wouldn’t? He’s hot.” You try to shrug casually.

“Out of anyone in the office?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Including me.”

You open your mouth to say yes, but you know it’s not fucking true. Of course you’d have fucked Gojo, if he wasn’t a dick boss, if he was just a dude…

Look at him.

“Cat got your tongue?” His free hand caught your chin, forcing your gaze to his piercing one. You gulp, licking your lips.

“No.”

“No, what?” His voice was a wicked caress.

“No… not including you. Goddammit. Is that what you want to hear? That I’m not blind? Of course you’re attractive, and you know it, stupid!”

He scoffed. “You’re childish.”

“You!” You shoved at him again, and he let you go, grabbing your glass and refilling it, watching you like a hawk. “It changes nothing. I am planning to leave. I will find a replacement, someone even better than me.”

“There is no one better.” He sounded sincere, a rare thing for Gojo, emotion cracking in his voice as he downed his own glass.

“You think fucking me will keep me as your damn assistant?”

“It’s worth a shot. I’m the best fuck there is.” He shrugged, some of that casual demeanor coming back, and you wanted to yell at your body for its reaction.

“It won’t happen.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“You’re my boss!”

“But you’re leaving.”

“I…”

“Hmm? You seem at a loss for words.” You scowl, looking out the window as the lights flickered by.

“Are we there yet?”

“Childish.”

“Says you!”

“You need a good orgasm. Or ten. Get you to be less of a stuck up nag.”

“I do not! And I am not!”

“You do, and you are.”

“I orgasm plenty, thanks!” You felt your body on fire at that, and Gojo couldn’t look more satisfied, like the Cheshire fucking cat, the grin as wide as it could go, running his hand through his silken white locks.

“Oh, do tell.” He practically purred.

“Cut the shit, Satoru. You’ve never talked like this in the years I’ve worked with you, where the fuck do you get off?”

“I get off in women. Or on them.” He shrugged, enjoying your open mouth, once again lost for words.

“You know I did not mean that!”

“Where do you get off? On a dildo maybe.” You blinked, eyebrows low in a scowl, wanting to hit him again. “No, don’t look the type. Maybe a rose toy. Hmm… or just these little things.” Gojo lifted your hand, already small but ridiculously small in his own, swallowed by him. “They don’t hit deep enough, do they?” His whisper shook you to your core.

You burned, breathless, as he held out his own hand to yours, fingers so fucking long they rivaled the length of a dude’s dick. Likely larger than the couple of dude’s in college, which was about all of your experience. He grinned as you stared on, palm hot and hard against your own.

“I… you…” You wanted to cuss him out. Quit right then.

You also wanted his fingers in you.

“I could get you off, put you in a good mood. We don’t have to have sex for that.” His hand took your own, putting your hand by your heat, between your thighs.

“Why… are you…act- acting like this?” You managed to breathe out, but you had no energy to move away from him, or shove his hand off. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you’d love to ride your frustration out on him.

“Maybe I realize how much I need you to stay as my assistant.” Gojo’s supple lips kiss down your jaw, firm but delicate, as his hand brutally grabs yours and shoves it against yourself, moaning in your ear. “Is my assistant already hot for me? Are you that easy to get wet?”

“Fuck off.”

It’s a whisper. You want it. And you hate him. You hate that your pussy is pulsing against your joined fingers through the barrier of your panties, that the moan in your ear made you wonder what he sounded like when he came. Gojo slid his own finger against your panties, pausing, moaning again, pulling back to look at you.

He was gorgeous.

Your chest rose and fell with your breath.

“Fuck.” He whispered, and something was just different. You saw Gojo with women, always so self assured. But something seemed surprised, vulnerable, when his long finger pressed against the damp sticky fabric, just grazing your clit. You arched your hips up, and his fingertip ran up slightly, pressing more, and Gojo’s lips were just a breath away…

“We’re here, Sir, my Lady.”

Fuck.

You two shot apart, and you struggled to catch your breath, adjusting your dress, gulping down one more glass for good measure. Gojo adjusted his pants, not even looking at you, clearing his throat. You cursed as you saw his tie.

“You can’t tie a tie for shit, Satoru.” You leaned over to him, pulling it apart gently and re-tying it. You noticed his Adam's apple bob up and down. He was quiet. Satoru Gojo, quiet. “There.”

“Thanks.” He said gruffly, and your eyes met.

What the fuck just happened?

Kiyotaka opened the door, exposing them to some cool night air, and you got out, curious just how the fuck this birthday night was going to go.

Chapter 2

Completed fic on ao3, will post chaps on here as well

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55424137/chapters/140629990

[surshica]

PRINCESS TREATMENT

: CL16

genre: stupid fluff, social media (smau)

warnings: translated french

A/N: let’s ignore everything that happened in this gp! this is my first EVER f1 fic so ernmmm bare with me! i’ve had this like whole thing in my head for a while but i was just too lazy LMAO ANYWAYS i’m also deprived of some fics..ENJOY ?!!

synopsis: soft launching a relationship with charles — charles leclerc x streamer fem!reader (fc: tina kitten)

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 793,610 others

yourusername when he gets the princess treatment instead of me..

user1 my streamer is in a relationship..🫠

user2 this means we can’t be parasocial no more…I HOPE THIS “MAN” CAN FIGHT.

alex_albon okay tell him to stop being clingy so you can play goat simulator with us

yourusername he said, “they suck at the game so they can wait, i like the princess treatment” soo…

user4 as much as i want to theorize and say it’s an F1 driver it’s unlikely…she’s just a twitch streamer.

user8 “just a twitch streamer” my ass..as if she isn’t the biggest streamer and influencer

user4 i mean itd be a downgrade for a professional to date a non professional athlete or like model or idol🤷‍♀️

charles_leclerc okay little buddy it’s past your bedtime

charles_leclerc aww so cute (HOP ONTO GOAT SIMULATOR LANDO IS BEING ANNOYINGGG)

landonorris okay buddy..don’t make me use THE blackmail.

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, tomholland and 2,072,473 others

charles_leclerc my jpg era? nahh

user3 okay so are we going to talk about who took these photos cause i know damn well you didn’t take them..

yourusername whoever styled you should get a raise

charles_leclerc i’ll tell her that, it’ll inflate her ego some more

yourusername she doesn’t deserve you 😐

user5 HOLD ON. HER?? IS HE IN A RELATIONSHIP AS WELL.

user6 this is kinda suspicious..what if.

user2 WHAT IF????

user6 what if yn and charles are 🤞

carlossainz55 charlie finally got a sense of style !!

pierregasly groundbreaking ‼️

user9 okay but why does he actually look good in this outfit..

user10 f1 twt going crazy over this fit

liked by yourusername

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, georgerussell63 and 628,927 others

yourusername stream today!! we’ll be playing among us vr with *drumroll* landonorris and georgerussell63, be sure to tune into it today

user1 WITH THOSE TWO??? it sounds chaotic..

user10 HMMM….

charles_leclerc where is my invite ☹️

yourusername you said no because chat would laugh at you..

charles_leclerc this makes it seem like those two are your favorites…

yourusername they are.

charles_leclerc hand back the paddock passes<3

yourusername IM JOKING HAHA YOURE MY FAVORITE!!

liked by charles_leclerc

user5 bye they’re literally flirting.

liked by charles_leclerc and yourusername

user6 THE HEART AFTER PADDOCK..am i seeing this correctly

user2 what if you actually predicted it…

alex_albon i can already hear lando screaming..

landonorris slanderous.

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, landonorris, lewishamiliton, alex_albon and 1,729,168 others

charles_leclerc désolé mon amour le secret est sorti..😅❤️

user6 YEAH I KNEW IT. everyone who made bets pay up! i do apple pay venmo zelle paypal

user1 bye you’re so unserious 😭

user3 aye they tryna make bank i don’t blame them

user2 it’s like they’re a mastermind..IS CHARLES GOING TO WIN THE NEXT GP?!?

user6 yes. he is going to podium and be at least 2 or 3

yourusername you couldn’t wait just a little longer..not till your next gp? ;;

charles_leclerc my fingers slipped!!

yourusername fat fingers!

charles_leclerc that’s not very nice chéri:(

yourusername yeah no more princess treatment for you.

charles_leclerc HEY NOW…THATS NOT FUNNY.

landonorris are mom and dad fighting..☹️

charles_leclerc i hope you never get imposter when you play amongus again

landonorris HEY MAN TOO FAR.

user11 “mon amour” BYE. I DONT EVEN WANNA KNOW HOW LONG THEYVE BEEN TOGETHER.

user10 the pictures..THE PICTURES. sleeping on a highway tonight 🤞

user4 interesting choice in a s/o…

user7 the floating lantern picture…I JUST WANNA KNOW WHO WAS THE ONE THIRD WHEELING THAT THING.

yourbestie that person would be me 😍

yourbestie took y’all forever, im surpised charlie brown over here didn’t spill the beans earlier

charles_leclerc who are you calling charlie brown? 😒

yourbestie you.

@ surshica | rb & follow.

[theminecraftbee]

Joel sits awkwardly at a family dinner table that isn’t for him.

It’s nice and all, he reckons, for Impulse’s family to invite him over after he leaves the hospital. Even before—everything—Joel’s family hadn’t really been the “big meal around a big table” type, so he’s getting some new experiences here too. And it’s nice and all, that they want to thank him for his role in finding Skizz.

But like. It’s not like he or Impulse or Skizz could explain how it happened, when asked. “Magic brain ghosts” and “evil butterflies” and “Joel still isn’t certain all of that was real and is trying to pretend it wasn’t” puts a damper on that. Also, adults are kind of shit at talking around the fact Joel’s whole family is dead, so he gets the sense he’s sort of harshing the vibes, you know?

Still. It’s a nice gesture. He guesses. It’s free food at least, which is decent, and as close as Impulse and Skizz are, every time one of Impulse’s family says something stupid, Skizz taps Joel’s leg with his foot or steals a roll or something, and it makes Joel feel…

He’d have been sad if Skizz had died, probably. Like, he wouldn’t know. He didn’t come here to make friends, he came here to get a degree and get out. Also, that’s stupid, because it’s not like Joel would have known he was missing a really awkward congratulatory family dinner in which Skizz kept on trying to sneakily steal beans. Probably would have just moved right on. He’s not… friendly.

But.

They stand outside afterwards, waving by to Impulse, promising to walk together so that neither of them Vanish. They’re quiet.

“Thanks, man. That meant a lot to them,” Skizz says.

“Yeah, well, I can do stupid things for free food,” Joel says.

Skizz laughs. “It was nice having you there, too. Man, they’re even worse with you! It’s like not knowing you means they’re even more awkward about family tragedy.”

“Trust me, most adults are way worse. You should see my social worker,” Joel says.

“Didn’t he ditch you, dude?”

“Haha, yeah, he did,” Joel says.

They stare up at the streetlamps together.

“I was really ready to go for a bit there,” Skizz says. Joel’s hackles raise. Oh no. Emotions. Bad. Go away. “It was like—man, it felt like the whole world was empty. But when you showed up, it’s like I remembered… I’d miss dinners, dude.”

“I have no idea why, that kinda sucked,” Joel says, baffled and sarcastic, because he’s a moron who can’t handle emotional conversations, this is why everyone avoided him at the funeral, stupid.

Skizz breaks out laughing.

“You’re great, man! I’m glad we met. Uh, my place is only a block away, and I won’t go following any stupid butterflies. See you at school?”

“Yeah man. See you,” Joel says—

I am thou.

Thou art I.

Thou hath formed a new bond.

With the power of the Chariot Arcana, you shall build the chains with which to hold on to reality.

RANK 1!

“What the hell?” Joel says, tripping over his feet. “What? What? Where did—what the fuck that wasn’t Pygmalion oh god do I have more than one voice in my head—”

“Dude, are you okay?”

Skizz’s almost frustratingly strong and comforting arms grab Joel.

“Tell me you heard that,” Joel says desperately.

“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about. I could take you back to the hospital—no?”

“I am either crazy or am going to end up in a government lab?” Joel says, voice getting high and squeaky.

“We can ask Mr. Hills about it? He came to talk to me after I woke up in the hospital, apparently he like, knows stuff,” Skizz says.

“I don’t wanna,” Joel says.

“Tough luck, buddy, you just almost fell over and cracked your head open!”

Suddenly, Joel remembers a long-nosed man and a blonde in a very blue boat. He remembers a cryptic conversation about bonds and power and their importance. He takes a deep breath. “Can you cover your ears for a moment?” he says.

“Yeah, sure thing, why—”

Joel, as loudly as he can, screams. He hears several birds fly away. He pants.

“…Joel,” Skizz says.

“Yeah thanks man don’t worry about it let’s never speak of this again I’m sure it’s nothing. I definitely didn’t have a weird dream about this and should go to bed.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever you say,” Skizz says cheerfully before laughing, which Joel continues grumbling about all the way back to his apartment.

[clairyclue]

my thoughts on Majestic Rep’s RTC

it’s a lot sorry guys

tags: @jencattv @ray-winters @keatondj

(spoilers below the cut)

you can tell when ocean starts questioning her attitude and how conflicted she is, especially right after WTWN 

jane gets startled so easily poor baby

noel’s riffs are amazing!! (noel’s lament)

the choreo is awesome too!

mischa is a such a sweetie he genuinely cares so much about the other choir members 

mischa flipping ocean off before “i love you guys” haha

constance’s finger guns after “fornication” 

constance laughing at ocean out down jokes and then switching up is so funny 

i love oceans line delivery she’s like three seconds snapping i love it 

jane going from being able to move

fluidly during the songs to being stiff again she looks so confused every time 

ricky. just ricky ❤️

connie i thought the crystal meth joke was funny 

^^ i love all the dialogue in that scene i don’t remember it in original cast slime tuts 

fuck mischa’s adopted parents fr you can tell his anger is a defense mechanism because when he feels comfortable with the choir he’s so sweet!!

MISCHA FALTERING WHEN SAYING HES TALIAS FIANCÉ 

“THANK YOU FOR KILLING MY MOTHER AND INDIRECTLY KILLING ME” 💔💔💔

MY LIFE IS AWESOME 

(i’m gonna start categorizing by song now i don’t have much for WTWN and Noel’s Lament so)

jane dope 🔥🔥

mlia gives mad sibling karaoke vibes 

karna i see u bopping along 

the singing too is immaculate 

OK JANE i see u dropping it down 

TALIA

this mischa genuinely seems so into it he deserves so much credit in way of character work 

the way he gets all bashful during his Talia monologue 💓

background harmonies (constance is carrying and also i can hear her so well!!)

again riffs!! well done 

the choreo goes crazy!! this applies to all the songs tho 

the arms making a steeple 🥺😩

THE ENDING RIFFS 💔💔💔😩😩😩😭😭🥺🥺😞😞

the projection i’m gonna end it all 💔

MISCHA FUCKING CRYING INTO NOELS SHOULDER HELPHELPHELP and even once the dialogue moves on he’s still clinging to him and Noel rubs his back

“ocean why aren’t you talking right now it’s weird” (ricky in the bg: ☝️)

i love u connie awkwardness 

jane is so reactive to everything she hears like a little puppy 

“OKAY!! 😁😁😁😁” (autismo lore dump time)

oceans face when he’s explaining it 😀 to 🙁 to 😟

AND THEN SHE FUCKING MOANS U CATHOLIC FREAK (no offense to catholics reading this)

noel’s face me too bud 

ricky’s lore is kinda gross just because it wasn’t always this way. but sigh what can you do

SPACE AGE BACHELOR MAN:

ricky my little freak boy ❤️

spacedolls realness coming through 

“sure…😬”

rip ricky u would have loved therian tiktok 

little curtain face thing “it gets weird now :)” (•.•)

“THAT SON OF A BITCH !! 😡😡😡”

the emotion behind his lines the whole time tbh adds to the comedy (“i thought i told them !! 😕😕”)

the ending “b-b-b- bachelor man!” (“meow!!”)

we love u mischa hype man (again sweetest man alive)

constance’s “oh man!” was so agressive i loved it the one in the soundtrack seems so sad. this constance is less shy more awkward and i love it

THE BALLAD OF JANE DOE:

i know i know. but choreo. 

vocals!! ily jenna 

bg vocals as well!! 

the mixing 🥹

OK THE OPT UP????

the choreo at “a choir never complete” reminds me of the opening funeral scene from beetlejuice. definitely fits the vibe!

the borderline growl/anger in “and i’m asking why lord” yes!!!!

she sounds so desperate. crying. 

“does no one care?!” again the anger and emotion!

THE BG VOCALS AT THAT ONE PART SO GOOD THEYRE ANGRY FOR HER IT SEEMS 

the roller coaster. them being sucked back into it choreo wise. reverse looking. 

THE HIGH NOTES 💋💋💋

ocean being the one to put the birthday costume on means a lot to me. idk

ocean comforting her too 🥰🥰

janes birthday claps!

SNATCH !! 🧁🧁

ocean doing connie’s hair ❤️

savannah scene!! 

we don’t get to see it but i know the waltz is happening 

“ur ma best frand 💓“

^ and then ocean immediately snaps my heart again. 

“no you don’t ocean. 😕”

i understand oceans monologue she just. executed it badly. 

constance 😝 beat her ass girl 

“or they’ll call you a cow” baby. come here. 💔

constance. i get you. i get u connie baby. 

JAWBREAKER/SUGAR CLOUD:

oceans face ❤️ i don’t know how to describe it but she looks. proud. and her sitting almost re-evaluating everything in the back. (assuming)

ricky giving her the mic ❤️

HER GIGGLE

them scooting her around aghhhahahdhdbdheh

cloud props!

CONFETTI AND BALLOONS AND IM SMILING LIKE A FOOL

jane looks so happy with her ballon skipping around 🥹

the ending!! ILY CONSTANCE 

mischa helping her down awww

ocean and connie hug!!

can’t forget the nischa hug

ocean losing her voice inflection and sounding so genuine. so scared. so raw. 

janey when she gets chosen 🥹🥹

ocean and connie hug 2

JANE REACHING FOR RICKY SNDBDJWKDJDKF

ITS NOT A GAME/ITS JUST A RIDE

crying over the ending brb 

the slideshow will always get me 

something about the whole scene. houfhhhhhhh

“and you give and choose while you live and lose” and the lines preceding it get me 🥹

ARE THOSE REAL VIDEOS OF JENNA?!?!?!

KARNA SOUNDING LIKE THEYRE GONNA CRY

the first lines of it’s just a ride. no music. so raw sounding 🥹 the teary voices. the haphazard harmonies. 

ocean and mischa holding each other. big bro little sis 💓

“WOO!”

THEIR FREESTYLE DANCING! 

they’re having so much fun. they’re dead but they’re LIVING for the first time. 

all of the hand holding. my babes. 

[juxtaposed-nerd]

aapi heritage month headcanons pt. 3 !!!

just in time for s3 of dndads, let’s get into it! this one will probs be a lot but so much has happened in the past year 😭

- taylor LOVES chinese new year, he looks forward to it every year as the favorite (only) child and he eats all the dumplings he could ever eat and gets tons of red envelopes

- cassandra and morgan become best friends/mother-daughter relationship vibes post-doodler, like they are the most badass and cool women in the world and i do think taylor grows to love morgan so much and even though his relationships with nick/glenn are strained, at least he has the best mom and grandma

- as a voice actor for anime/cartoons i think cassandra really did fall in love w the art of anime and i’d love for her to guest at a con (make her the j michael tatum of her world PLEASE) and taylor gets a free ticket to weeb out as much as he wants <3

- in my heart glenn is trying his best, like he really wants that closeness (haha) and i think now post-doodler it's like literally what started as a father/son duo of him and nick now is genuinely a huge (kinda fucked up) family that is trying to mend itself and i do think it starts with chinese takeout !!!

- sidenote i think the close/foster/swifts etc are a great example of how freddie has subverted asian stereotypes fr and also how a family stuck in an absent/neglectful cycle has the ability to come together again

- the mending includes hermie too, hermie definitely deserves something more in his life and the chance get to be a kid w a home in the form of a big family w his bio dads (his normal parents are invited too) (and i also love the idea of normal being like 'grandpa henry! this is the guy!' and hermie being an honorary oak would be so cute 😭)

- hermie went and saw joy ride (2023) bc it was marketed as a comedy and came out bawling his eyes out from that one scene y’all adoptees know what im talking about

- tbh thinking about taylor's closeness w his mom and francis's w kimon wan literally asian moms are holding this show together

- the farnsworth’s are thai and german and they came to peachyville at a young age to give their newborn son a better life very starting nuclear family vibes, ed definitely learned thai for her, and now their son is a bowling champ!

- francis farnsworth and taylor swift are lowkey the spectrum of asian upbringing where it's like midwest asians vs socal asians 😳🤭 they live in different worlds

- kimon wan is an immigrant mom just trying to raise her family and her damn son wont stop being a loser 🤦‍♀️ literally milf w a shotgun (ed is a lucky man FR) (sorry anthony burch)

- when francis is having a really tough day then kimon wan will leave a plate of cut up fruit at his door so he knows he's still supported

- luo's golden wok is the first and only chinese restaurant in peachyville and they have to have the best pepper steak ever im calling it now

- tony collette would love and hate both jodie and glenn i think for different reasons but instead of calling them formosans he’d call them orientals 💀

- also tony collette is 0.0001% asian (chinese) and tyrus luo either DEFINITELY knows which is why he puts up w all the bullshit tony does or tony is determined to make sure that tyrus NEVER finds out ever

- they have a 'throwback' silent movie night at the drive-in and they show a meryl streep film and literally everyone falls in love w him 🥰

- billion millions was a crazy rich asian and he was an icon

- once again they mean the world to me! might end up posting more at some point who knows lol

-

checkout past headcanons: 2022! 2023!

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A08

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: ep.2 What you have

Characters: Yodaka

Summary: As the bar closes up for the day, Yodaka feels a certain way about their mundane day-to-day… 

Thank you aca @463ce6, jes @arcanecrayonn and myun @/myuntachis for helping me with proofing!

Location: Ten Nights of Dreams BAR

Yodaka: I wonder, has the rain stopped yet?

Yunyun: Ah~ I was thinkin’ about that too.

Yodaka: It’s difficult to tell since we don’t have any windows.

Chouun: According to the precipitation radar, the rain should stop in 30 minutes.

Yodaka: That’s impressive, Chouun. I didn’t know you had a function like that.

Chouun: Yes, Yodaka-dono.

Yunyun: What are you on about, boss~? Chouun’s a state-of-the-art pet robot, y’know~? You’re like, the only one who’d use ‘em as a glorified jukebox. 

Yodaka: Perhaps I should request weather reports from now on too.

Chouun: …Understood.

Yunyun: Huh… No wonder we didn’t have many customers today.

Yodaka: I think we can call it a night. Would you mind switching off the signboard outside?

Yunyun: Sure thing~

Chouun: …Yodaka-dono. What would you like to do about the music?

Yodaka: Please continue playing it as is.

Chouun: Understood.

Yunyun: And that’s that for closing up… Oh, right! I forgot to tell ya– That wallpaper in the bathroom? It’s seen better days. 

Yodaka: I’ll contact the vendor tomorrow morning.

Yunyun: I’m countin’ on ya, boss~ Oh, and while you’re at it, mind replacing the freezer, too? That thing’s been here since forever, even before we took over. I’m telling ya, it’s on its last legs.

Yodaka: I see. I’d been quite fond of it, but I suppose we should have it replaced before it causes problems.

Yunyun: Yay~ I totally looked into some options already, I’m way too good at my job~

Yodaka: How very diligent of you.

Yunyun: Like, look at this one! There’s also this, and maybe even that one… There’s even models that can produce pure ice, ain’t that just wild!? We don’t need to go outta our way to buy ice cubes any more!

Yodaka: Hm…

Yunyun: Ah, the price tag’s givin’ you cold feet, huh?

Yodaka: You could say that.

Yunyun: Speaking of which~ What happened to that deal from before?

Yodaka: Hm? What deal?

Yunyun: You know the one~ From that beautiful and busty CEO~

Yodaka: Ah… You mean her… 

Yunyun: She’s been dropping by here all the time ‘cuz she’s got her eye on you— She even offered to franchise our bar, and she seemed pretty hyped about it too!

Yunyun: With her backing, the investment’s gotta be some crazy amount! I wonder where we should open up our next store~

Yodaka: We won’t have to worry about that. I turned her down.

Yunyun: Wha–!? Are you for real?

Yodaka: Of course. 

Yunyun: Wait, whaa– C’mon! I mean, I kinda knew you’d be like this, but!

Yunyun: What a waste~ That’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance y’know~~!

Yodaka: …..

Yunyun: I mean, that prez was a total hottie. I could like, totally see hearts in her eyes whenever she was lookin’ at you, Yodaka-san.

Yunyun: I’m totally sure that she had the hots for you! You could’ve just gone for the gold!

Yodaka: For the gold?

Yunyun: Marrying into wealth! That’s like, my dream y’know~

Yodaka: This is the first time I’m hearing of it.

Yunyun: Aw man~ I mean, if we open up more shops, that means more employees, right? Then we could hire some cuties who’ve got a little extra in the chest department~ And then I’d make ‘em fall for me with my charms~

Yunyun: And I’m saying me, not you, mmkay~?

Yodaka: Haha, of course.

Yunyun: I coulda totally built my harem heaven right here y’know? And you’d be loaded with cash too, no doubt about it~

Yunyun: This could’ve been my ticket to a super-duper happy life and yet…! Why’d you gotta dash ‘em all like that, you big dummy!

Yodaka: .....

Yodaka: “To know you have enough.”

Yunyun: Enough of what? Beer?

Yodaka: This is a famous quote from Lao Tzu. He was one of the founders of Taoism, one of the three popular religions in China.

Yunyun: Huh… Never heard of ‘im.

Yodaka: “To know you have enough is to know true enrichment.”

When one is satisfied with what they already have, that is when that they become enriched in both body and soul. It is one definition of happiness.

Yodaka: It’s important to learn to be happy with what you have, and to not be too greedy. I completely agree with this sentiment.

Yunyun: I mean~ Are you sure a teaching from some old fogey of years past is gonna hold water in the present?

Yunyun: It’s definitely better to have money than to not, and I know for sure I’d be happier havin’ a pretty lady hangin’ off my arm than bein’ all on my lonesome!

Yunyun: I’ve got a point, right!?

Yodaka: Leaving aside women… Even that CEO had said that having money isn’t enough to guarantee your happiness.

Yunyun: Eehhh~!?

Yodaka: I’ve had many opportunities to wine and dine some capable company owners. And yet, they all had similar opinions on this matter.

Yodaka: That they should have quit while they were ahead. After they hit a certain degree of success, rather than being happy with their progress, they can only worry and stress about how to make it bigger, and better. 

Yunyun: Hm~ Sounds like some first world problems to me~

Yunyun: So you’re saying to be happy with what I have?

Yunyun: Wait, is this some kinda plot to tell me you’re not gonna give me a raise!?

Yodaka: Haha, of course not. It’s simply a ‘plot’ to tell you that we can get a new freezer, but just a regular one. We’ll continue to buy our ice cubes from our usual supplier.

Yunyun: Fiiiiine…

Yunyun: Well, I already knew how much you like your vintage stuff from the moment we set up shop here.

Yodaka: …..

Yodaka: I must ask you, however. Are you not happy now?

Yunyun: Eh.

Yodaka: Time that is flowing slowly, peacefully, as we wind down for the day. Within a bar full of old but trusty equipment and peeling wallpaper. 

Yodaka: A quiet and relaxing atmosphere. The moon that comes out to greet the sun.

Yodaka: Quality jazz music playing in the background and… Conversation with a good old friend. 

Yunyun: …..

Yodaka: I think that these carefree days spent with you, in our cozy bar, is when I’m the happiest… What about you?

Yunyun: Well… That’s… 

Yunyun: That just ain’t fair, askin’ me somethin’ like that.

Yunyun: Can’t say I’m not happy…

Yodaka: I’m relieved to know you feel the same as I do.

Yunyun: *Sigh*... You truly are an incorrigible flirt… 

Chouun: …Yodaka-dono. Are you certain that I am fulfilling my role here?

Chouun: If you would update my software to the latest version, with the addition of some extraneous parts, I could be 8 heads tall to help serve customers as well.

Yodaka: Yes, you’re doing just fine as is. Thank you.

Yunyun: I mean, a Chouun that’s 8 heads tall? That’d just be scary… 

Yodaka: Let’s update the playlist for tomorrow.

Chouun: Understood, Yodaka-dono. What kind of selection would you prefer?

Yodaka: For tomorrow… Let’s see.

Yodaka: Play the kind of music that would put a certain worrywart of a bartender at ease. 

Notes:

"To know you have enough" is one translation for the saying 吾唯足るを知る by Lao Tzu.

The ideal human proportion is considered to be 8 heads tall.

Whenever the term 幸福 (happiness) comes up in these "flashback" episodes it's highlighted in green.

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Masterlist

[pinazee]

Psy vs. Psy

I genuinely think that if they were going to bring back any psych villian, Lindsay Leikin would pose the biggest threat. She knows Shawn isn’t psychic, she has adequate motivation to target him personally, and has the skills to prove he’s a fraud and do it slyly as she is also highly skilled in deductive reasoning (she did manage to get them to the counterfeiter to begin with so she has legitimate talent). She could even orchestrate it from prison. Maybe her parole was denied again so, like, what else is she going to do? Plus, she’s kind of nuts. Faking being a psychic with the FBI is a whole other level of bold compared to a local precinct, then she met a counterfeiter and was like yes please, more crime, then killed him when he tried to run, slept with Shawn that same night, then tried to take him hostage when she got caught. Its just a shame she wasn’t a bit more charismatic or eccentric. They had her play it as a very normal girl swept into a life of crime because of a guy (probably because she was a “love interest” for Shawn) when the receipts show she was an absolute lunatic (look at her face after they found the guy she killed. This bitch is smiling).

Also, she just kinda gave up when she was caught. I wish she’d have been screaming “he’s a fraud!” as she was taken to the car or even had a heart to heart moment with Lou Diamond Phillips because she did betray him after all. Idk, i just wanted more. (But i think maybe the writers recognized this and thats how we get Declan later??)

Gus is basically siri at this point. Between the archeology, safes, online poker, the law, tennis players, space, comic books, of course pharmaceuticals, and now studies tender from all over the world- its a smaller list of what Gus doesn’t know. Gus clearly likes learning. I’m surprised he never thought of becoming a teacher or college professor, to try to pass that love of learning to the next generation. Though i guess we see he’s not that great with people surprisingly, considering he’s a successful salesman. (OH MY GOD WHAT IF THIS WHOLE TIME GUS ACTUALLY HAD LIVED UP TO HIS POTENTIAL AND BECAME AN INTERNATIONAL SPY. He knows all these things because of his job, psychs only been able to stay open because Gus can fund it from his spy job, joining psych was a good front but he was also lonely from never getting to be himself. I kid, i kid, but its a fun idea for me haha)

No fucking way shawn doesn’t know what a drill is. Henry definitely would have beat that kind of man stuff into him. The military time too. I just felt the need to point this out. its like the show itself is dissing my boy and i have to defend him lol

I love when Gus is proud and smarmy over shawns talent. Look at his face here. My boy about to prove you wrong.

And do you think Shawn is actually afraid of competition or do you think he learned at an early age from his father that he didn’t have value unless he was the best? Huh Henry, huh???(Weekend warriors “you don’t want to be a loser” comes to mind)

Henry trying some reverse psychology here. I can’t tell if its because Henry is actually concerned for Shawns safety like he said he wasn’t in the previous episode, or if he’s still taking it personally that Shawns using the gifts he “gave” him to be psychic. Probably both. We know he was really bothered by his motorcycle accident, so i wonder if he’s been kind of spiraling, and adding up all the crazy situations he’s been in. (Which, i don’t think Shawn tells him about. i think Gus calls him like a weekly report haha) I think the fact that shawns cases are becoming more dangerous he suddenly doesn’t like the idea of him being a detective, well a detective this way at least, because i think in his mind he’d be safer if he was an actual cop where he had a partner with a gun, and back up, and rules, and training. I mean we know he wouldn’t be, (look at what happens to Lassie and Juliet)

I just wanted to gif this because it’s one of my fave jokes in the episode!

Mildred to the rescue! Im not entirely sure how this worked but it did and thats what matters haha

*Appropriate reaction is appropriate*

[verdemoun]

Oh my god I wanna hear about Sean going to the dentist. All of them going to the dentist and doctor regularly please. Wanna see Arthur Morgan going to the doctor like "Jesus fuck you have the lungs of a man who's been chainsmoking since birth. Did you have some kinda lung disease" "haha whaaat that's crazy 🤯" how does the gang handle the doctors. Is Dutch antivax. Is Micah being as much as a asshole to the nurses as I think he'd be

Sean had to go to the dentist for complications involving a) smoking and b) y'know literally having teeth pulled and not healing correctly and assumed he would be fine with it because unstoppable Sean Macguire. Calmly talking about yeah got a tooth ache and sometimes this hole in my gum starts oozing randomly. Laying back in the chair making jokes about give me some of that good shit doc right up until they tried to put something in his mouth. Proceeded to jump up, punch the dentist at full strength hard in the jaw, throw the nurse over and sprint back to the reception room where several of the gang were waiting with tears in his eyes before going 'lol classic Sean' at himself. Hyperventilated for 20 minutes in the car 'hahahaaa what's wrong with me am I dying'. They found him a dentist who they very much warned about what happened to the last dentist and he absolutely has to be knocked out before they do anything even vaguely near his mouth. They've tried when he was almost out of it and he still started trying to fist fight and threw himself onto the floor before it fully kicked in.

Most of the gang go to the same doctor who is both scared of them and for them. Sees Bessie Matthews has made an appointment and just feels fear what strange old-fashioned creature has she found today! Unmedicated hyperactivity who will not stop making jokes but explode into violence if touched in the wrong place, with what look like cane scars over most of his back and ass? Semi-verbal adult who must come with another adult because he will stare at the fish tank so intently he will miss hearing his name called despite being fully aware and very compliant with picking up and taking his medication on time? Another mysterious oddly polite 40 year old with very obvious gunshot scars over far too much of their body? Adult women who have not heard of condoms and need a triple appointment to even understand the concept of birth control? Every. Single. One. Needing. Every. Single. Vaccine. Desperately wanting to know what cult they escaped to have missed so many. Getting a frantic phone call from the CDC that antibodies for smallpox were found in a blood sample he sent away for testing.

Arthur is so paranoid about his health. He went through feeling his body degrade and fail him and feeling like he was drowning in his own lungs when so much of his identity before then was being the workhorse and the enforcer and strong man. Getting a second chance in a body magically restored to the exact moment before he was infected with TB was as glorious as it was horrifying. Never wanting to feel sick again. Coughing because he swallowed wrong and immediately booking an appointment with his GP because he is terrified of getting sick. Modern medicine is his religion. Will never not use nicotine patches but is making a conscious effort to quit smoking because cigarettes bad for lungs. No longer having the gunshot wound on his shoulder from Colm but getting phantom pains. Plenty of other older injuries he had accumulated over his life he experiences pain from as he keeps aging. Sees a physio twice a week for trying to take care of himself physically.

Dutch is not anti-vax but he is very anti-big pharma despite relying on a colorful candy-like assortment of drugs to maintain balance. Acts like a victim despite never having to actually pay for his own meds and care because the VDLs cover it to make sure he is in a stable, positive environment. Goes on the biggest lectures about pharmaceuticals being a scam and the corrupt power of branding and lack of peer-reviewed studies into the effect of specific medications over time only to be called over by his doctor to discuss a new alternative to one of his current meds and excitedly skipping over 'oh goodie!!'.

Dutch is in the psych ward watching House MD and it becomes part of his identity.

Yes. Micah is a creep and doesn't believe women can be doctors. He is the token anti-vax. Nurse showing him to the exam room and he's like 'slow down lemme see that little canter' biting his lip fuckboy emoji. But he also goes to a dodgiest clinic in his sleezy local area so the fact he isn't actively groping the nurses makes him one of the less offensive people they have to deal with. Most of his visits to the clinic are because he's gotten pepper-sprayed or wrecked by a woman with self defense training yay go women I love women beating up Micah Bell.

[batsplat]

hiii your weekly sete ask:

wow his 2005 season was really Cursed affggghjk. like what do you mean he’s 7th with 7 retirements (more than that years top 4 combined) but also is the only guy aside from valentino in top 7 to not finish lower than 5th place…..

valentino was the curse really worth it being runner up to capirossi and melandri TWICE and in a row (joking)

haha... yeah... 'retirement' in motegi... definitely wasn't so eager to seal the title at honda's home race that he made an ill-advised overtake attempt on melandri and cleared them both out... two completely unrelated dnf's... haha...

anyway!! yeah!! valentino would make that trade with you all things considered - always got on well with capirossi, with melandri admittedly you have the whole drama of melandri thinking valentino switched up towards him... but tbf you do have to say valentino was impressively dogged at keeping melandri's first win at bay for as long as possible. the six races valentino doesn't win that year are estoril (very wet, kinda just settled for second), laguna (unfamiliar with the track and would never be one he really liked, finished behind the two americans who knew the track well), motegi (crazy how we'll just never know how that dnf happened... oh well let's move on), sepang (a bridgestone-dominated weekend, sealed the title there though), turkey (hampered by a poor start) and valencia (my god is he mid there, also he tried to smash himself up before the race which I swear he does like. repeatedly at that specific circuit. guess he knows he has the off season to recover)

the way the curse shakes out is that for the rest of sete and valentino's careers, whenever they both finish a race valentino is ahead. not a single exception! not one! but the thing is, right, sete's actual finishing position of seventh in the championship in 2005 is extra cruel because it... just is not representative of how competitive he was that season? this is where it becomes useful I have my 'curse tally' notes... 2004 we've already covered, 2006 is more depressing than fun (how is your luck so bad your ambulance crashes into a bus fifty metres before the hospital entrance), but 2005? oh yeah that sete season is fucked. do you know who won the best qualifier award that year?

narrator: he did not win his home race on sunday

you can also read the qualifying prowess from the average grid positions, and it's not even particularly close. sete averages 2.82 for the season, ahead of valentino at 4.12 and hayden at 4.29. he bags five pole positions, exactly as many as valentino. his average finishing position when he actually makes the chequered flag is 3.6, the third best that year behind vale's 1.44 and melandri's 3.5. unsurprisingly, 2005 is the only season this century where the strongest qualifier does not win a single race. that just isn't a thing that happens!! it shouldn't happen!! this is not a man who was suddenly slow. he also hadn't been particularly crash-prone in his previous honda seasons... one dnf in 2003, two in 2004... and seven in 2005. a nightmare

which raises the question... okay, not winning races is one thing, but what the fuck happened to sete? if you're not just slow all of a sudden, how are you suddenly dipping from p2 to p7 in the championship standings? so. *cracks knuckles* *gets out notes* let's go one by one and tally up exactly how sete's season went wrong (parentheses used to indicate grid positions, e.g. 'g2', and finishing positions, e.g. 'p2')

jerez (g2/p2): after a feisty start, sete leads the entire race up until three laps to the end - when valentino executes his overtake and looks all set for the win. but valentino makes a mistake on the final lap that lets sete back past, and he's frantic in his attempts to correct the error... it looks like sete might have this one won, until valentino steals it from him at the last corner, barging him aside with one foot off its peg. (more on the final lap here.) valentino's victory, immediately controversial, is followed by various post-race theatrics as the spanish crowd voice their displeasure and valentino rubs it in their faces. on the way to the podium, valentino breaks the fourth wall to mock sete for clutching at his shoulder - which he is then forced to walk back in estoril as it turns out sete had actually been injured (clips here). more on this, from broadbent's 'ring of fire':

(details of the gresini/zerbi dispute included below the cut)

estoril (g2/dnf): an increasingly wet race - conditions in which sete has always been excellent in (first 500cc race was won in the wet too). sete's shoulder is still injured from the jerez collision and he'd crashed that weekend already, but he leads comfortably at the start... it's always tricky to be in the front in those conditions and he ends up crashing out of the lead in lap 16 out of 24. would valentino have been so comfortable settling for the podium if sete had still been in the race?

shanghai (g1/p4): another wet race, this time at a new circuit. perhaps sete's confidence was dented by estoril, or perhaps he just wasn't quick enough in the conditions. he doesn't get the ideal start from pole, though he briefly runs ahead of valentino - before vale overtakes him and disappears into the distance. for most of the race, sete runs second, until eventually wildcard jacque overtakes him. with a few laps to go, sete's suddenly losing speed... it looks like he's dealing with some kind of mechanical issue and he's shaking his head down the straight. on the very last lap, his teammate melandri overtakes him for the final podium position. after the race, sete said he had already felt on the warm-up lap that something was wrong with his tyre, and that it was all he could do to minimise the damage and coax the vibrating tyre to the end

le mans (g4/p2): sete had won the two previous races at this track, beating valentino on the final lap in 2003 and extending his championship lead in 2004. this year, both sete and valentino get quite a poor start, and exit the first few corners seventh and sixth respectively. valentino starts his charge to the front before sete does - and sete's progress stalls for a bit when he makes an absolute hash of one of the chicanes. eventually, valentino is on the rear tyre of his teammate edwards, but takes his sweet time overtaking him.... sete hunts them both down, firing in lap records as he muscles his way to third, and valentino is quickly informed of just who is catching him. valentino overtakes edwards, but edwards quickly gets him back - which opens the door for sete, who slips past for second. the three once again converge and valentino eventually manages to get sete back. edwards runs it a little wide and valentino squeezes past, with sete able to take advantage of the open door to get through too. they quickly gap edwards and as sete stalks valentino, the commentators hype up the prospect of revenge, of 'payback time'... valentino takes a new circuit record on the final lap to hold sete off. he extends his hand for sete long enough that sete eventually acquiesces - in doing so affording valentino a courtesy his rival had not extended to him at sepang the year before

mugello (g2/dnf): this time last year, the first public cracks of the valentino/sete relationship were just starting to show. but a fight for victory between the two of them was not to be this time round. sete keeps p2 off the line; after some opening lap scrapping that includes a valentino overtake, sete is still in p2. then his teammate melandri rudely forces him wide while overtaking, so that sete briefly drops back to fourth - before muscling his way past capirossi and into third. he tussles a bit with biaggi... but ends up crashing on lap five. it already feels like curtains on any championship aspirations

catalunya (g1/p2): before the weekend, valentino says he believes melandri and biaggi, not sete, will be his main championship rivals. sete starts on pole, with valentino likewise on the front row. valentino gets a somewhat poor start... by the end of the first lap he's back in the mix at the front. the first few laps are frantic, with melandri leading most of them and making his teammate's life, uh, unpleasant - but eventually both valentino and sete make their way back and break away from the field. soon after, sete gets past valentino and leads the race. for a while, it looks like he's breaking away from valentino just a little... eventually, it becomes obvious valentino has just been biding his time. with three laps to go, vale eases past down the main straight into the braking zone of turn one, and immediately proceeds to destroy sete's circuit record on dying tyres. he wins the race fairly comfortably from there

assen (g2/p5): juan martinez, sete's crew chief, is taken ill on thursday with a migraine. he recovers to come back to the box on saturday, but unsurprisingly the team is on the back foot as a result. (remember, martinez used to work for valentino, and he is someone valentino explicitly blamed for what happened at qatar 2004.) sete starts reasonably well from the front row, second early on behind his teammate melandri before eventually falling behind hayden. meanwhile, valentino has gotten a typically atrocious start and gave himself a bit of work to do. sete eventually makes his way back past hayden - but unfortunately lets valentino through too. at the end of the seventh lap, valentino gets past sete at his beloved final chicane. after that, valentino goes on to win the race while sete languishes in fifth

laguna seca (g13/p5): sete executes a strong comeback ride, besides losing a duel to biaggi which I suppose is a new low. but the main thing I have to bring in at this juncture is one of my favourite sete's moments. this is from broadbent's 'ring of fire' again, in the context of the re-introduction of laguna to the calendar and the discussions around that. just remember that valentino has been tormenting sete for like, over half a year, and sete has not lashed out at valentino once publicly. but here... he finally snaps - and takes it out on the real enemy: marco melandri

quick friendly reminder that melandri was sete's teammate that year

donington (g2/dnf): the race is held in truly appalling conditions. sete - who, remember, was a known wet weather specialist - takes the lead early on. he crashes on the third lap, one of ten riders not to finish the race. after wobbling about in the front-running pack for most of the race, valentino eventually takes the lead before pulling comfortably clear. he mimes playing the violin while crossing the line; this was interpreted by some as mockery of his less fortunate rivals, which valentino refuted

before the race, valentino took another opportunity to twist in the knife:

"when I see gibernau I always want to arrive in front of him" uh huh

sachsenring (g2/p2): valentino had quite a few problems with his bike that weekend, with a tricky build-up to the race. initially, hayden gets the holeshot, as valentino starts piling up the pressure and sete gets stuck in traffic. but the race is red flagged - and while hayden again gets the holeshot at the restart, valentino quickly disposes of him and sete soon does likewise. sete swiftly overtakes valentino ("'take that', said sete gibernau, 'I mean business'" says one of the commentators) and leads from there, with valentino in hot pursuit. for a few laps, valentino ends up behind hayden - and once he gets past him again, he's seven tenths down on sete with six laps to go. valentino closes in and on the very last lap, sete goes wide into the first corner, letting valentino through

always thinking of the suggestion valentino was intending to overtake sete at exactly the same place he had been overtaken in 2003 (from here):

brno (g1/dnf): despite the summer break in between (where sete reportedly did a lot of training), this might as well have been a direct continuation of the previous race. sete leads out front as valentino determinedly muscles his way into second place so as to not let sete escape. on the very first lap, valentino overtakes sete - in a section of the track where sete was planning to overtake capirossi if capirossi got the holeshot (more on how forthcoming sete was being to the commentariat here and here, icl when I replied to those asks I didn't remember quite how bad it was). on the third lap, the two exchange a few overtakes, and then it's sete in front. valentino makes a mistake to give sete a bit of breathing room and almost let the pack swallow him up, but he escapes again to get on sete's tail. around halfway through, valentino takes the lead - and then, with just over four laps ago, valentino deliberately slows down and practically invites sete to go past, before slotting back in behind him. valentino takes the lead at the final chicane of the penultimate lap, setting the stage for a final lap showdown, except sete is beginning to lose touch... and then he slows down. sete has run out of fuel

japan (g7/dnf): all eyes on valentino - who starts from eleventh for his first matchpoint race - as he starts making his way through the pack. on the first lap, valentino's already made his way past sete for sixth. tragically, all footage of the race after this point was erased so we will simply never know what valentino got up to after this point in time, but sete reportedly crashed on lap eleven. "gibernau's wretched season continues, when will it end for sete gibernau... it's almost a year now since valentino rossi put that witch's curse on him at qatar and said he would never win another race, you've got to wonder..."

sepang (g2/dnf): as the riders storm down to turn one, sete and hayden make contact and barely keep their bikes upright - sete is knocked down to sixth. valentino ends up right behind him on the first lap once again, but gets stuck behind him for a little longer as sete works his way past hayden... before sete and nakano go down when the former attempts to overtake the latter on lap two. "sete gibernau's appalling season continues...." - sete begins to walk off before sinking to his knees in despair

qatar (g2/p5): back to the place where it all started. sete deploys some feisty riding to keep that second place off the line against both valentino and hayden. he takes the lead from capirossi on the third lap and valentino takes advantage to immediately force his way into second - ready to exert pressure on his enemy. but sete builds up a healthy advantage as his teammate melandri increasingly puts pressure on valentino. melandri and valentino exchange overtakes as sete's advantage ebbs and flows, eight tenths at one point while his two rivals tussle. could this really be the "resurgence of sete gibernau"? with six laps to go, valentino shows his front wheel to sete, but it gives melandri the opportunity to get past. as valentino attempts to return the favour, melandri cuts off his nose and causes valentino to almost run into the back of him - payback for motegi, which makes valentino run wide and almost fall back into the clutches of hayden. it looks like it will be a fight between the two gresini riders for the win as valentino is 1.2s back, but he quickly claws his way back into contention and is helped by the gresini duo scrapping. and when melandri has another go at sete, sete runs on into the gravel... "the man who has cracked once again is sete gibernau" "and I'm sure both marco melandri and rossi are smiling under their visors" from the commentary team - valentino snatches the win once again, with sete finishing a disconsolate fifth

phillip island (g3/p5): so much for another front row start, with sete getting battered around to fifth through the first few corners and quickly being pushed down to sixth by his teammate. from there, it's an unspectacular ride to fifth, as valentino claims another victory

turkey (g1/p4): another start from pole, but melandri gets the jump on him from the start. sete puts pressure on melandri and eventually gets back past to take the lead...... and then goes wide and runs it into the gravel. he recovers from sixth to a painful fourth. "you can just imagine valentino rossi grinning, can't you, behind his visor, when he saw that happen"

valencia (g1/dnf): once again, sete starts from pole.... surely, surely he has to win one of these? valentino starts from fifteenth on the grid, which you'd have to say is as good a chance as you're going to get to catch a break from the man. sete is shuffled down to third on the opening lap but is right on the tail of melandri and hayden, setting the field's fastest lap on lap two. on lap four, sete slows down... "and the spaniard's wretched season could end in the only possible way, another disappointment at his home round and yet more misery for movistar" - an engine failure. his teammate escapes out front while sete works through his grief on the side of the track

so, having assessed the evidence in an appropriately scientific manner... well, yes. sete was kinda fucked. you have plenty of bad luck, you have races where he's simply not fast enough, you have races where valentino forces the issue and beats him in a straight fight, and then you have quite a few races where sete makes a clear 'unforced' error. it's not even necessarily the crashes that are most painful - with sachsenring, qatar and turkey standing out as real low points, times when he feasibly could have had valentino (as well as his teammate, who he also dislikes) beat. his wet weather dnf's will also have been a bitter pill to swallow, as well as valentino's lovely habit of snatching circuit records as he pulls clear from sete right at the end of races. and all the while, valentino is happy to taunt him with his failures, reminding sete again and again of how he is no longer the challenger he once was. all the while, the narrative of the curse gathered momentum, ever more likely to make its way back to sete. with every failure, the pressure grew. there's got to be at least ten races where sete on pace could have been in victory contention, five races where he bags pole, fourteen front row starts... not a single actual win. and that's how you put together a curse, kids

here's the gresini/zerbi dispute:

Movistar Honda team manager Fausto Gresini sent an open letter to the media on Thursday night in response to a private letter sent by FIM President Francesco Zerbi to MotoGP riders Valentino Rossi and Sete Gibernau following last weekend's clash during the Jerez race. Mr Zerbi´s letter had invited the riders to reflect upon the incident, and to remain as positive examples for all MotoGP fans - asking them to fight fairly and without will of revenge. The FIM President also wrote that he didn't see any infringement to the rules, but stressed that this kind of situation shouldn't be repeated. The comments made by Gresini were: "I fully agree with President Zerbi about the fact that sportsmanship is the most important thing. There's no room for bitter feelings between two great riders, but in the meantime, I'm still perplex." "In this letter, Sete and Valentino are treated equally as if Sete had some responsibility in the facts, and I can't agree with that. I believe there is a contradiction when the FIM president writes 'there isn't anything to reproach you for from a legal point of view', and then warns that what happened in Jerez must not occur again." "It means that we're still far from a situation where all have equal rights, in a sport as dangerous as ours," concluded the Italian manager. [here is the presidents response]: Dear Mr Gresini, I should not respond personally to your open letter given to the press, but through the intermediary of my lawyers; however, considering that I subscribe to the rules of courtesy and that I believe private life is a right that no-one can deny, I am not going to enter into a controversy - an easy one given the ridiculous arguments in your letter. The only thing that I want to stress and which, as a man, mortifies me is that I am mistaken in my judgement of men. And that I say on an individual level far more than on an institutional level. With much bitterness, Francesco Zerbi FIM President NB: I am sending this letter to the press because your employee, by violating all principles of education, more so than of law, did not hesitate to betray the confidence that had been granted to him.

like "with much bitterness" why is everyone in this sport so dramatic. what was everyone on this year

[onebraincell-itmiebcraft]

Okay time for the liveblogging of real life in order (liveblogging life SMP call that lifeblogging) I have never done this b4 be easy on me

Grian

I've already watched his perspective at like 5 in the morning but heyyyyy nothing wrong with rewatching with added non sleep deprived commentary but also not really memories of what I originally thought watching this too :^))

I remember being so stunned they called it real life and the anatomically correct heart 🫀tickled my funny bone heeheehoo hahaha

Thought when grian said replay 3rd life I thought they'd reenact it 😭

We live in a society taxes man (I could ramble about it)

GRIAN IRL FACE!!!

has anyone fell over btw?

No lie that B can BIG

Reminds me of slimecicle jshitt and traves VR Minecraft where Travis got progressively shorter what a laugh

Does Scott ever see his scream

Is it take the Mick or take the nick love that idiom

RENDOG!

Scar looks like a child doing that thing

Awww hug

ABUSE

scar take the headset off dzuh 🫀🫀🫀

Grian literally me balance issues

Yugioh????

I called it, scar would say he's American 😎

I'm eating dinner while watching this at the same time what fun w

Giran called solidaritygaming jimmy no way + he died first fr this time + loud "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Perfectly timed his mic peaking is iconic

Ha haa!

He ear him bread

Really putting the mine in craft for Minecraft

reminds me of secret life EP 4 and scar is sweaty

*scar noises*

How did scar drop his phone???

Check your wrist? More like check your a- (tom cardy référence)

I love the way VR makes you hit stuff goofy

Can you run in game if you irl

(watch him die)

Haha he died

Why Jim is he sabotaging him

Jim Jim Jim gym gym

Doesn't Jim die here oh LMFAO he does

Jimmy you are famous to me

(scout voice) Chicken

How did scar die???

I love how vr makes them expressive Jim pointing to village house is so funny

There's only one bed

Wtf is happening in top right corner in 9min 30 sec

Ayyyyy there's grian the maniac love the casual position of the arms

Last life you can join me moment

Egg

Grian gaslighting

Jimmy you wanna dance quote of the year

PvP is so silly

Skizz is fighting a losing battle Jim killed him icon

I love how grian and Jim's yells overlap there's probably something music theory there idk

Awww scar he's so funny

Go pick him up from daycare haha

Facing away from the camera we live in a society

OHHHHH impulse big smart man Jimmy's arm movements are so smooth it's solly

Jimmy immediately leaving for fish cocomelon brain I agree

Love the arm movements

Lol they actually like down

It's okay grian scuffed is worth celebrating

Has anyone layed on their side

Friend just texted me about my monologue what am I doing man I have an audition tomorrow

Anyway Minecraft vr

The lying down model inventory so goofy

Rewatching the bread scene no wonder tumblr loves it looks like Jim jam actually has a mouth 👄

Impulsesv guess the build sheep flashbacks

Best sleepover

Polyamorous tony (died)

Sleepover reminds me of crazy Christmas w/gem and pearl

Grown men learn how to close doors

Minecraft fatshaming grian smh my head

Man thought it was more than Joel there + o2 max(xing) scar love it (i use maxxing ironically) (it's such a stupid suffix to me linguistically funny) (I hate incels) (don't cancel me tumblr) (I love all genders)

Two steps: die, and die

Jimmy isn't on fire??

Casual "it burns so much!" Love it

Wait right Jim still has a wooden sword

Joel Joel Joel Joel you know that one part in waiting for Godot where they just go back and forth in saying aideu yeah

So silly

Jim saying get in British people man

"noffing" - joel is it a British thing

Love Joel screaming he's so malding

Just remembered how scary heights are in VR because I thought for a second "why don't they jump down? are they stupid?" (Meme Reference) (Didn't actually think that) ("Stupid" is kinda stupid but I digress)

Hole

Boob stroke

Does scar enjoy the swimming

Why *does* swimming cause motion sickness anyway

Why bucket scar (this is a bucket)

Brain eating amoeba

GOON SQUAD!!!

Love Grian's arm movements I really did thonk Jim was gonna win for the funnies

He says come here weirdly

The joy of killing

Is Jim punching

It's okay hiking simulation

Go Jim go what a gamer boy

I remember the triple dog door dugout is like... Gem's? Joel's? Uhhhh I fotgor

Concussion era

Fresh meat

I just love their dynamics

JIM STOP SOUNDING LIKE THAT it's like his eyes are 🥺 and his mouth is boowomp spongebob like he's got tears in eyes scrimblo sounding ass

Ohhh there's my favourite theatre kids

'orrible

Joel saying boys make me happy

Wait that can misinterpreted

Joel saying "boys" sounds pleasant to my ears

I remember watching this part and going GRIAN FIRST OUT HUH???

awww the funnies

Love the way gem says "we're the last Grians. Grians? Greens!" It's like... Spunky

Grian falling reminds me of my scuffed keyboard when it registers a button press as a hold and then I like never stop walking right *sigh*

The downward spiral by nine inch nials

Ascending is TRUE watcher lore

Oh the music is so cute

Bye scar! Bye Joel!

Okay never let me liveblog cook again i kinda listened to the vid instead of watching reading this does not make sense to anyone but me reference hell half formulated thoughts RIP BOZO HAHA

Maybe I'll like do it in 5 mins chunks for JJJJJJoel and the next ones onward I spent like an hour on this wayyyyy too long for incomplete sentences

End

[solar-halos]

i watched speak no evil w my brother and now i need to talk about it. not to make this about race but something that jumped out to me was that this movie would only work with the whitest fucking family you’ve ever seen. let’s start at the beginning

1) we did get there late so idk what purpose dunking on danish ppl served so let’s just skip to the part where they let their twelve year old daughter ride a scooter with a man they JUST met. if some white middle age man offered to let let me ride saddleback on his motorcycle my parents (or at least my dad) would be like hell to the mf no and then we wouldn’t be allowed near him or his wife or his son ever again

2) speaking of his son that’s another reason why the movie would be over before it started. that’s prob more of an immigrant thing though (or like a machismo thing) bc i don’t think i’ve ever been allowed to play with boys no matter how old we were

3) okay actually my mom would have been a little fooled by that british accent

4) oh my god if we went over to this family’s house and the hosts were like “you’re sleeping in the same room as our son! :)” my parents (probably both of them) would be like hell to the MF NO. and then we’d drive back home and go no contact

5) the lack of backbone killed meee. if for some reason we weren’t gone by then you know what would have done the trick? some unfamiliar man being our fucking babysitter. my dad would be PISSED. my mom would be like “a brown man? girl…”

6) the husband telling everyone to swim in their underwear? girl…

7) i’m kinda forgetting the other details so im officially done dunking on white ppl. no offense to agnes bc she was distressed but feigning her period while she was bleeding in the front was like ..?

8) OH WAIT. back to dunking on white people bc if my parents (even my mom!) found me in some family’s BED holy shit. they would not careee about that lady’s sob story they’d escalate shit so much that the hosts would just kill them right then and there

9) also that stuffed animal agnes had was sweet and i love the lengths her parents went for her but my dad would be like get the fuck OVER it girl. and then if i tried kicking the backseat well. haha. let’s just say thqt wouldn’t end well

10) okay but also if i showed my mom those pics i dont think she’d believe me no matter how weird these people were LOL. like she’d still try to leave but i dont think she’ll be like “omg you’re right!”

11) the cheating beat was what rlly did it for me. like if that were my family the movie would be over before it even started. like i was confused why the wife kept saying her man was angry bc he never even yelled at her and the closest he ever came to lashing out at agnes was trying to get her to stop kicking his seat

12) he rlly was so in love with patrick though i thought there’d be at least one kiss between them

13) why did ppl (read: men) in the theatre start BELLY LAUGHING when patrick kept kissing the wife? gross

14) dude. if we didn’t manage to escape once (even tho we def would have… no way would either my parents drive back for a stuffed toy) my parents defintely would have kept driving even if patrick did push their son (who wasn’t rlly his son… but im gonna keep calling him that bc i don’t remember his name) into the lake. like for me my mindset for scenarios like that is “oh well u don’t rlly know how you’d react until it happens to u” but i know EXACTLY how my mom would have reacted. she would have kept driving

15) i do love the wife though. i feel like they were trying to make her annoying but we all need people like her. the food throwing scene was so upsetting (im a sensitive baby) and the husband not having a backbone drove me crazy. actually the husband was pretty much useless even before he broke his leg

16) i hate that uppity “im not gonna stoop down to their level” mentality. patrick literally said he was gonna take ur 12 yr old child as a child bride and u didn’t end it??

[daphnebowen]

percy jackson episode five thoughts

I skipped a couple episodes where I wrote down my thoughts, but I'm about to rewatch and write don't worry! warning: lots of screaming, fangirling, heart attacks, and nonsense below :))

also these are all just copied straight from the notebook I use when I'm writing down my thoughts and I barely proofread them :)

Annabeths trust in Percy being alive is literally just like her belief that Luke is alive later on and even though it's kinda sorta different (or at least people are gonna treat it that way) I'm all here for it

WHY WERE THE FATES SO CREEPY HELLO

AAAAAHHHH THE PERCABETH HUGGGG I IGNORED SO MANY SPOILERS AND IM SO GLAD 2 minutes in and I'm already fangirling so hard haha

is Grover blushing at them??

"surprise" omg Walker 😭🥹

the droplet of water clinging to walkers chin is so distracting

"I'm the last person to realize this aren't I?" It's okay Percy

his eyes are SO FREAKING BLUE it's giving zac efron from hsm2

"it doesn't have to be a thing, yk. That you hugged me." OHKAY HES NOT ENTIRE CLULESS THIS IS FAN SERVICE RIGHT HERE WE KNOW THAT IT MOST ABSOLUTELY WILL BE A THING LMAO and annabeths "oh boy" and Grover's clear exasperation HAHAH

where the heck did the motorcycle go lol we know it's ares but like it doesn't take that long to drive

"we're all gonna die... eventually" wise words Percy wise words

ugh the fact that it's Luke's string 💔

Ares ‼️‼️‼️

Ok but why is ares literally EXACTLY how I thought he would be?!?!

"that's my cousin? what kind of family is this?" A dysfunctional one for sure, sorry Percy you're in for a rough ride

ares starting a fight on twitter is ABSOLUTELY CRAZY and yet so in character lmao

"I'm gonna kill him" same Percy SAME I will gladly help you - although all things considered I am glad they decided to keep delinquent percy in the show

they keep bringing up the "push someone down a flight of stairs" thing! There's no way this is just a coincidence anymore, what with chalice of the gods and earlier on with Annabeth and like... they're obviously doing it on purpose. is that gonna be the shows new thing?? trusting someone enough so that if they can push you down the stairs they're the one? idk man, love the metaphor tho

PLS LET THERE BE THE ZOO TRUCK SCENE OH MY PLS

leah's eyebrow quirk is 💋

WATERLAND IS PERFECT OMG

walker portrayed Percy's anxiety and nervousness and scaredness (is that a word?) perfectly

Can't tell if Grover is actually a history buff or playing Ares so he will talk but that scene was actually cool, I like the change they made to have Grover stay behind (this was what I wrote originally, but now after seeing peoples interpretations and opinions and things I know he was playing ares and I think it's BRILLIANT how smartly he played the god of war. Good for you buddy!)

"I didn't say anything" "I can feel you thinking it" OHKAY THEN

thrill ride of love = flawless. No words. I am speechless.

"I hate kids" relatable

ARES IS ACTUALLY BEING SMART AND MAKING SENSE FOR ONCE not to mention he's so funny and so relatable!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH SEAWEED BRAIN ALERT 🚨 SEAWEED BRAIN ALERT 🚨 SHE CALLED HIM SEAWEED BRAIN AND I LOVED IT never mind the actual SCREAM i let out lmao

is Annabeth about to cry?!?!

yeah she's definitely about to cry

why am I so scared. This cannot be happening. What?? What??? he's the main character. main characters don't die. well except for Magnus chase BUT THOSE ARE DIFFERENT GODS AND DIFFERENT RULES NO WALKER

why am I actually so scared about this chair thing omg

(I would just like to say that I was so speechless and in shock throughout the whole chair thing, so I didn't write down a single quote but I loved them all I just was in too much shock to pause the show lol)

um.

WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED.

WHY IS MY BABY GOLD

WHY IS MY CHILD GOLDDDD

I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW THIS DEFINITELY DIDNT HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS MY BRAIN IS TOO SLOW FOR THIS 😭😭😭

oh my gosh ITS HEPHEASTUS

dude the way that door suddenly opened scared the crap out of me

leah is absolutely shining as Annabeth, her monologue was so profound and heartfelt, love that addition 💗

THAT CLIFFHANGER GOES CRAZYYYY

okay of course those of us who read the books know who really stole the lightning bolt and stuff but the clueless fools just watching the show are gonna be like OMG WHO WHO and even if they piece it together technically they'll only be half right. and their confusion and confidence in what they think they know is going to be SO entertaining in the coming weeks hehehehe and even throughout the whole series if we continue to get green lights for the series

but yes that episode was utter perfection! Now for the teaser...

WHO DID PERCY JUST TACKLE EXCUSE ME

duuuuude. The lotus casino is MASSIVE and actually super pretty I cannot wait for the episode tomorrow!

WHY IS PERCY DRIVING OMG THIS IS NOT LEGAL although tell me why he is literally better at driving than I am HAHAHAHAHAH

ugh and that is it! Those are all my random thoughts from the episode! thanks for reading :))

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #12

This week we're taking a slight detour from the main chapters of PKNA to read the very first PKNA Special Issue: Missing! (Which came out in 1997 alongside the release of Silicon). This chapter is basically the equivalent of an anime OVA where we get to see the various characters just kinda hangin out and doin stuff outside the main plot, which I think is fun!!

Oh boy haha can't wait to see which of the colorful cast of characters we'll be focusing on fi-

OH NO

No cause like she fuckin got his ass here. I think if PKNA took place in 2024 then Angus Fangus would have a verified account on twitter and every time he posts about PK there would be people in his replies like "oh rent must be due" just roasting the shit out of him. And they would be right too.

Bro AI generated a photo of PK stealing ice cream from a child 😭

Woah dude that's crazy. Could you imagine like, an evil toy manufacturer? Like some sort of toy-based villain. Maybe one that hates video games and dresses like a clo-

DID HE JUST KILL HIMSE

oh nvm there was a balcony. dammit

THEY WHITEWASHED ZIGGY?!??!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO

See I TOLD you it was the anime OVA, they're at the beach and everything! Just look at that FANSERVICE!

I'm talking about Camera 9 in his little beach outfit btw. What did you think I meant? Lyla? What does this have to do with Lyla

So PK is missing and her first instinct is to go and check the jail 💀 I mean I can't say that he WOULDN'T get arrested by the time police I just think it's really funny

Screaming wait I love overly-confident Lyla

he's died

So Camera 9 won't talk to her and she PULLS A FUCKING GUN ON HIM. Cop moment.

...wait wasn't Camera 9 wearing shorts earlier? Where did his shorts go???

UNOOOOOOO HI UNO

"biological associate" is a really fancy way of saying your boyfrie

No cause like I'm obsessed with the resolution to this story. Dude kept his grudge for 250 years, get fucking owned Raider.

Bro shows up for two whole panels just so he can manspread and make a cheeky time reference. I'm exploding him with my mind.

AAAAAH EW OLD MAN JUMPSCARE shoutout to the picture of HDL though

WOW how lucky for Xadhoom to have found an entire thriving colony of her people!!! So happy for her :)

Also PK is there too for some reason

SHE'S SO HAPPY IT'S MAKING ME DEPRESSED

Yeahhhh they really didn't think this one through did they

WAIT THE NEPHEWS ARE HERE?? WHEN DID THEY GET BACK FROM AFRICA

WH- YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS COMIC YET??

You gotta love them dedicating a story to two random Evronian goons and then having it end with both of them just being murdered by Xadhoom. Like they never EXPLICITLY say that Xadhoom is killing the Evronians when she fights them but we all know that's what she's doing right.

Gotta love Donald vanishing off the face of the Earth so he could fuck off to Tibet with Everett Ducklair 💀 Levitating would be a useful skill to have if he didn't like immediately forget how to do it after this oops

Anyways that's all for today. I really like the PKNA special issues they're all really fun and silly and nothing bad happens in them ever!! So look forward to reading the next one in uuuh idk like 10 more issues or something?

[independent-fics]

Inde Watches “The Card Game Job”

Leverage Redemption 1x06

I have a good feeling about the title of this one. Idk why. Vibes just give og leverage and I’m excited to see if the new team is finally getting their groove

Oh gosh nvm as someone who is also on necessary medications this beginning is oof. Thankfully I’m not as impacted by drug price gouging since I just have something more common but goodness I can’t imagine how people deal with more complicated treatments.

Not the c-span where am I my grandmas house

Me too Eliot

Wow from me too Eliot but I love the Statement Parker

Oo leverage title reference

They would never let that happen Breanna

Ahhh yes you Eliot and Parker (and the rest but I live for these in sync moments)

Can Parker help me get a job I need her here

Love the androgynous look and name/ vibe (? There’s a word I’m looking for and blanking) but loving Breanna’s character rn

You are a gift Sophie

I want a castle too Parker

Breanna are you flirting? Stay focused let’s go

I’m loving Breanna’s knowledge and finding a way into the con

Eliot getting flashbacks of Hardison’s geek spirals I can’t

Dang that group shot was hot

Eliot why you gotta kill her vibe we know you’re into it

I’m cracking up at Eliot’s reactions rn the second Sophie heard king or queen and perked up Eliot’s “oh god” made me laugh so hard

Flashbacks to the shell games they’ve pulled before

Once again loving Breanna’s character

Omgggggg Harry this is your moment

Why the accent Eliot what

BUT THE GLASSES how I’ve missed them

Now you make basketball references Eliot?

Frick coming back to Nate of course you can’t walk away Sophie none of them would

Ahhhh Breanna I love your art

Parker she’s trying to share with youuuu

I keep meaning to go to a Renfaire and I still haven’t

Eliot you literally love dress up Every time you have to do it (I love his “Sophie!” Tone hahaha )

Ooo Breanna I love youuuuu

Eliot get you butt out here we don’t want people disappearing

Sophie once again stunning. Eliot I love the fit too hahahaha

WHACKING HIM IN THE FACE HAHA

Of course Sophie is the mistress of poetry

Eliot wishes it was a horse he would love that

Breanna partially running(kinda) a con while also doing a card tournament is crazy I love her

Eliot I also love you hahahaha

Oo swords he can do

I’m loving all the people at this fair

Eliot you’re such a show off I swear

Is the lady of the lake a Librarians reference for Beth

Honestly favorite moment between Parker and Harry so far

OOF BREANNA VS THE MARK

The poor beat up knights haha

Okay Eliot I too can’t wait to see if Sophie knows this one too

ELIOT HAVING SHAKESPEARE FLASHBACKS IM SCREAMING

This man looks tired

That breeze on Sophie was a paid actor

Honestly beautiful sonnet and clue

OH WHAT A SLAY OF A REVEAL

Me too Harry when Eliot fights like that

Goodness my heart Breanna

THE PRIDE ON THE OTHERS FACES AT HER SPEECH AHHH

HE GAVE HER THE CARD

“Ive already lost six cool points just by hanging with you guys tonight” Eliot with that statement alone believe me the cool points were already gone who says cool points hahaha

Once again his grumbling giving me flashbacks to his preferences for games with “skill” then ending up liking it anyways but never wanting to say so

[foundfam2754]

Season 17e4 live reactions!

Spoilers…obviously

- ooh shady deal going down

- hmm never heard conked used as a word for car

- okay it rlly bugs me that on CME is so much harder to see anything

- I KNEW IT, she was gonna use a ruse

- oh man this sounds like a revenge-led UNSUB

-EM DONT ARGUE PL, DONT SWEAR

- lol she looks so done and I love her

- aren’t her fingerprints already in file??

- TYLER. BOUNDARIES

- PEN STANDING HER GROUND

- she’s learning!! pen’s sharing the lessons she learned w Tyler

- OH HOUSE alarm - I was so confused

- also why is all this focus on the alarm making me think pen will be bulgarized or hurt

- okay I really fucking love this Dave getting the mind of the killer by imagining them thing they do , it’s so interesting

- “prick” lol Emily

- JJ :(

- I think they’re all gonna fall into the “conspiracy theory” thing when they solve cases this season w voit getting in their heads and that’s going to be really cool

- HAHA I love chaotic kinda angry Em

- WHAT WAS THAT SMILE MS PRENTISS

- Sydney’s such a badass I fucking love it; GO MAMA BEAR

- jeez Elias “I’ll find you”, that was freaking scary

- LEE!?!? I TOLD YALL CALLING HIM BY HIS BIRTH NAME WOULD BE IMPACTFUL

- I think that they too often read into what Voit says - I think the conspiracy theory has the team second guessing everything - every case, every potential clue. I think the way they’re officially gonna win over Voit is taking his word for what it is. That’s my theory for s17

- is that Debby Ryan??

- bahahaha pen being crazy mad is soo funny “can you get me another one of these”

- what did she say in French??

- okay I miss Garvez so much but Pen and Tyler are funny as fuck together

- why does Dave know what tattoo ink is made up of?

- okay Tara “Spencer Reid” Lewis, knowing tattoo stats of the top of her head

- fucking brian

- oh god Brian is going to get himself killed

- “Is it because you shot at us?” 😂😂

- god holly is so strong :( heart is hurting for the little girl

- HOLY CRAP I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

- why are they interrogating her? she’s sad :(

- hehe hot scary Luke

- elias’ biggest fear is someone becoming him damn

- holly needs to be protected at all costs

- WHY IS HE STILL NOT CONFESSING TO PROTECT HIS FRIKIN CHILD. goddamn Elias

- poor Sydney :(

- JJ, you are important ❤️

- not everything is related to gold star!!! I don’t think they should be connecting everything! Is it just me? Or is this not part of the whole conspiracy theme that this season has? Maybe it’s just me

- tyler, you’re not tugging at heart strings like you’re thinking bud

- “really intense incredible connection” I mean yes but also no?

- pen come on that was NOT moving do not be shook

- I feel a tiny bit that this ep hard to follow, so many interesting storylines but none fleshed out enough for me to follow everything, idk

- I can’t get over how much this actress looks like Debby Ryan 😂😂

- okay wait interesting - daughter following in father’s footsteps all around? jade and rick and holly and voit? if that’s intentional, that’s really good writing

- ALL HAIL THE BLACK QUEEN INDEED

- oh no what happened pen?

- no way that’s gold star???? they would NOT tell us this early

- holy crap whoa! a team?!? Interesting…

- Am I the only one thinking it’s a lil icky that they’re trading support for holly for help from voit? I get it’s their only option and they’re desperate but still

-OOH VOIT as part of the BAU, interesting

- I still don’t trust Elias, I think he’s intentionally messing with them, making them second guess everything