#kind words are appreciated!
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liesmultixxx · 10 months ago
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Hi🫶🏻 this is peak stream of consciousness writing so beware: cringe ahead (nonetheless I’d be happy if someone read this lol it would mean a lot)
——-
The sky is blue
The grass is green
Still my mind is playing tricks on me
if what I feel and what I see would be less real
Then maybe I’d have a lot less ghosts
roaming around and fighting me
i am so tired, do you know
it takes everything in me to be this strong
I cannot stay, but I cannot go
who the fuck wants to die alone?
I guess I do, It’s all I know
an eternal curse put on to me
thanks to my lovely family
I do love them, I cannot lie
it’s just this feeling i’ve got inside
would someone love me for
who I am, this wretched mess
who am I kidding- of course they won’t
This life is all just for show
wish someone had told me this once before
just let go of your fears and ghosts
they’ll come back sooner or later anyway
no point in driving yourself crazy
wish I could believe this sage
I still choose to put the blame
all on me
it’s kinda sad
i don’t why
i won’t be loved, I won’t be liked
what can I do?
maybe I should just stop
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venusaur-propaganda · 4 months ago
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Drawing Venusaur with every Pokemon pt. Venusaur!
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wombrion · 6 months ago
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1) your art is phenomenal and marshmallowy it makes my day when you post!
2) I’m unsure if you are still taking request but if you are in a dilly dallying mood I would <3 to see some of the Chainsaw man characters in your style? I feel like your shape language would translate onto their design really well🤎🤎
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you fool............i drew em a zillion years ago
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rusticfurnace · 1 year ago
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some soap content because hes my little goober. my babym the light of my life. >:3
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gotchibam · 3 days ago
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Commissioned piece for Missiletainn! 💞
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i-got-da-rubes · 2 years ago
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“Thank you for asking what nobody else did.
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What not even I considered.”
Drawn with my non-dominant hand.
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noodles-and-tea · 7 months ago
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HI!! just wanted you to know that your art is absolutely GORGEUS, you're one of the best artists out there!! Whenever you post some drawings (love the way you draw atsv characters, especially gwen!) it genuinelly makes my day :))
Sending you best wishes and hugs!!
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Thank you thank you!!!!!
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llamagoddessofficial · 5 days ago
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I love Nightmare in all is contained intense energy, but I don't do well with fancy gifts/wine/dining; not that I'll turn up my nose at those things just that they can make me nervous. Do you do well with being wined and dined on a highly luxurious level?
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Although Nightmare would definitely enjoy a lover who is accustomed to luxury, one who expects the same refinery he does and preens when he pampers them... I think you're sorely mistaken if you believe he'll find your discomfort anything other than utterly adorable. Your aversion to fancy things helps him to not take himself so seriously; on top of that, not only is he literally a being of negativity (your nervousness is a nice light snack), but the way you squirm and overthink is so cute he can hardly bear it. Watching you fret cutlery will make his day.
You: I'm so sorry. This is a disaster. You must've spent so long organising this dinner date, and I'm ruining it. I can't believe I didn't look anything up before we came here. I - I just - this is a completely unnecessary amount of spoons for one meal! Why is this one so tiny? Which do I even use!?
Nightmare: we're alone, dear. you can use whichever one you like.
You: The etiquette police won't come get me?
Nightmare, chin on his hand, falling more and more in love as the evening goes on: if the etiquette police show up i'll be sure to explain the situation.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month ago
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In Regards To Your 2024 Summary:
Holy shit it’s been another year????? The hell?????
Also! Your art style is gorgeous and that being found in 2023 and then refined throughout late 2023 and the entirety of 2024 really shows, as does your growth in panel layouts, perspective, and — as you said — experimentation. If you ever post your animation or video game art I’m looking forward to it.
As cheesy as it sounds, being able to laugh at funny comics and look at all the details of your art really made my 2024 brighter, even when things were hard. Including looking at your older art— it doesn’t need to be new to be enjoyable! I’m glad your art is well loved and it’s a privilege to have been here since the (near) beginning. I hope you take care of yourself in 2025 and beyond!
You and your art bring a lot of people a lot of joy never forget that <3
Thank you so much for keeping up with my art journey throughout these last two years! Two years!!! I am baffled at how that feels both too long and too short!
Admittedly, my art summary didn't manage to capture the fact that I did a lot of comic layouts that I'm really proud of. I also drew more backgrounds and made some very detailed works (*Dungeon Meshi spoilers for these examples*).
The growth is lot more evident when comparing my 'best' comics of 2023 to 2024:
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Sometimes the growth is vertical, sometimes it is horizontal - and damn, sometimes it goes out of sight into the Z-plane. But it is always happening!
#art summary#ask#The privilege is honestly mine; to be able to create comics and have had people rooting me on since the beginning really means a lot.#To everyone who the potential I couldn't and continues to stick around: Thank you so very much.#I cannot emphasize enough that I do see you. I do notice those who regularly like/reblog/comment.#I notice when people who haven't been around come back and mass like/reblog posts.#There are some people who have only *ever* liked my posts or have only ever lurked! I notice! I am so thankful!#At the risk of also sounding cheesy; I'm honestly happy to give back whatever I can to my audience.#Knowing I have brought people a little bit of joy to their day with my silly comics makes every long night worth it.#I probably make a longer post about it in the future; but last year when I made my first comic redraw-#-was the same day I got the news that someone very beloved to me passed away. I was in such deep grief I couldn't respond to comments.#But I still read them and I mean this earnestly; even though I was smiling through tears -#everyone's kind words truly helped make a pretty dark month a lot brighter. I probably would have crumbled without the support.#What really gets me is this: it was never directed at trying to cheer me up. It was just earnest kindness towards a stranger making comics.#If you've ever wondered 'hey does PD-MDZS know how much I appreciate their silly comics?'#know I have also sat here and thought 'Hey does this person know how much I appreciate seeing them in my notifications?'#Which also includes you! Mina BNHA you will always be associated with the cool person who's been rooting for me B*)#I wish everyone a wonderful new year; may all our creative endeavors be something we see as an exciting discovery.
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literaryvein-reblogs · 3 months ago
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When are you updating the masterlists? No rush tho! 😊
All edited :)
Word Lists
Writing Basics. Grammar. Refreshers.
Writing Notes & References
Writing Prompts
Writing Worksheets & Templates
Character ⚜ Plot ⚜ Worldbuilding ⚜ For the Poets ⚜ Tips & Advice
Writing Resources PDFs
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screebyy · 1 year ago
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A little crowlyon dawning comic wheee i finished it please clap
Next
I have lots more written on this but idk if i will do another comic or write part of it as a fic or some mix of both. im just very normal about them right now 🙂
ID/transcript below cut
Panel 1: Crow is walking down a path outside of the dreaming city with a brown cross-body messenger bag slung over his shoulder. Crow is holding the strap of the messenger bag and looking up in exasperation as he talks to Glint, who is floating beside him and speaking emphatically. Crow: “There's still time to turn back…” Glint: “Don't!” Crow: “But -” Glint: “You said you wanted to go through with this!” Crow: “I know but -” Panel 2: Close up of Crow’s eyes as he spots something off-screen. He looks startled. Crow: “!-”
Panel 3: Jolyon is standing next to a natural stone wall, looking away from the viewer. He is resting one hand on the wall and staring out at the Dreaming City watchtower and buildings in the distance, which are overtaken with taken corruption and several taken orbs hang in the air around the city. Crow is standing in the foreground, looking at Jolyon with one hand resting on his messenger bag. Crow: “Jolyon.”
Panel 4: Close shot of Jolyon turning towards the viewer, he is only visible from his shoulder to his nose so his expression is neutral and unreadable.
Panel 5: Camera is looking over Jolyon’s shoulder as he looks at crow. Crow looks at Jolyon with determination. He is holding the strap of his bag with one hand where it falls across his chest. Glint is transmatting away with an enthusiastic expression. Jolyon’s face is not visible.  Crow: “Thanks for meeting me” Glint: “ok good luck bye”
Panel 6: Close shot of Crow’s face. He is looking down and to his left, blushing lightly. He looks uncertain and slightly embarrassed. Crow: “I’m sorry if you… didn’t want to hear from me.” Jolyon (offscreen): “It’s fine.”
Panel 7: Close shot of Jolyon’s face. He is staring down at Crow with a distant, slightly pained expression.  Jolyon: “What do you want?”
Panel 8: Close shot of Crow’s hands gripping the strap of the messenger bag. He is twisting it with both hands, clearly fidgeting due to nervousness. Crow: “I’m…”
Panel 9: Side shot of Crow and Jolyon looking at each other. Crow is leaning slightly forward, while Jolyon looks entirely neutral. Crow: “I’m trying to make amends.” Jolyon: “Amends. For what?”
Panel 10: Close shot of Crow’s face. He looks confused but determined, and is looking up at Jolyon with a furrowed brow.  Crow: “For-... For Uldren, for everything-”
Panel 11: Extreme closeup of Jolyon’s eyes. He looks angry and his eyes are suddenly glowing with intensity as he glares down at Crow. Jolyon: “No. What specifically?”
Panel 12: Low angle looking up at Jolyon, who is glaring down at Crow with an intense, angry expression, bordering on hatred. Jolyon: “Tell me. What exactly do you remember?”
Panel 13: Extreme closeup of Jolyon’s mouth as he sneers, speaking through gritted teeth. Jolyon: “Crow.”
Panel 14: Shot of Crow’s face, he looks startled and distraught as he stares at Jolyon. Crow: “...”
Panel 15: Crow looks away to his right, looking ashamed. Crow: “I remember enough. I remember when things were good between us. And when they were… less good.”
Panel 16: Extreme close up of Jolyon’s left eye, he is looking down at Crow and looks alarmed. Crow: “I remember the garden.”
Panel 17: Wide shot from behind Crow. Crow is looking up at Jolyon. Jolyon is flinching and looking swiftly away from Crow to his left. Crow: “After that… things start to get confused. Honestly, I don’t understand everything that happened between us at the end… But I know it wasn’t what he wanted.”
Panel 18: Shot of Jolyon looking away, looking extremely upset as Crow talks. Crow: “So… I’m sorry. For all of it.”
Panel 19: Extreme close up of Jolyon’s eyes, he is squeezing his eyes shut and still looks emotional. Crow: “And so is he.”
Jolyon: “...”
Panel 20: Wide shot from behind Jolyon. Jolyon turns back to look down at crow, his face is not visible. Crow is still looking up at him. Jolyon: “Okay. Is that all?”
Panel 21: Shot of Crow’s face, turning down to look at the messenger bag at his hip. Crow looks nervous and is blushing with embarrassment. Crow: “Um…”
Panel 22: Close shot of Crow’s hand as he opens the messenger bag and reaches inside. A purple box is visible inside the bag. Crow: “No.”
Panel 23: Wide shot of Crow. He has pulled the purple box out of the bag, and is looking down at it, blushing slightly. In an inset panel, Jolyon is looking at him suspiciously. Crow: “Do you know about the dawning?” Jolyon: “Yes… The Awoken don’t celebrate it.” Crow: “I know.”
Panel 24: Close shot of Crow’s face as he looks down at the box. He is smiling wistfully, and blushing. Crow: “But… in the city, we give each other sweets, to say thanks. And… I don’t know. Now, it always reminds me of this time…”
The background shifts to a black backdrop, with white snowflakes falling quickly.
Panel 25: Extreme close up of Uldren Sov’s face in a flashback. It is dark, and snowing. Uldren is wearing a hood and is hunched over while looking straight ahead at the viewer. His hair is obscuring his right eye, and he looks serious and intense. Crow: “It was centuries ago. Back when the last city was just a tiny settlement.”
Panel 26: Close up of Uldren holding a pair of dark gray-purple binoculars, with glowing magenta lenses. He is resting his hand with the binoculars on one knee in the air. Uldren is wearing a dark blue shirt and black gloves with burnt orange detailing, and a long black cloak. Crow: “I… He was doing surveillance on earth. Keeping tabs on the people trying to build a sanctuary beneath the traveler.”
Panel 27: A wide shot from behind Uldren, who is sitting on top of a dilapidated building on earth. He is looking down on a festive nighttime scene. There are several buildings that have been partially destroyed and reclaimed by time, but dark silhouettes of people have made a home in them. The windows are all glowing with firelight, and the buildings have been decorated with glowing garlands and colorful flags. Between the buildings, many people are visible, holding hands, hugging, and waving at each other. It is snowing very hard, and snow is piled up around Uldren and the village. Four inset panels show closer views of people within the village.  The first shows a woman hugging a man from behind. The man is holding a steaming hot cake inside a baking tray, and is wearing baking gloves. The woman is pressing her face against his neck, and the man is turning towards her and laughing. The second panel shows a human man throwing his arm over the shoulder of a blue exo. The Exo is waving at somebody to the left, and the man is looking the other direction and lifting a tankard of beer in cheers. The third panel shows an Awoken person and a human woman sitting at a table. The Awoken is holding a warm mug of tea, and is smiling lightly at the human woman. The human woman is turned towards the Awoken and is leaning close to them. She has placed one hand on their arm tenderly. The fourth panel shows a closeup of two people, one with dark hair and one with light hair. The light haired person is cupping the dark haired person with one hand, and is leaning in to kiss their other cheek. The dark haired person is blushign and laughing with their eyes closed. Crow: “They had almost nothing. But they were celebrating. Sharing, and laughing.”
Panel 28: Another closeup of Uldren’s eye as he watches the scenes below him, he now looks sad and distant. Crow: “It was snowing, nonstop. It was so cold. And he was so lonely…”
Panel 29: Uldren is walking away from the viewer, through a dark pine forest covered in snow. His cloak is blowing in the wind.
Panel 30: Uldren’s ship is flying towards the Dreaming city in the distance, weaving between two cliffs in the reef. Snow is blowing in the ships glowing purple trail.
Panel 31: Wide, side view of Uldren as he walks through the snow-covered dreaming city. In the background, ornate arches and pillars can be seen, along with an awoken statue. Snow is falling hard, and it looks windy.
Panel 32: Shot over Uldren’s shoulder as he bangs loudly on a wooden door. His hood is up and his face is not visible.
Panel 33: Waist-high shot of Jolyon opening the door. Jolyon is wearing a green sweater with the sleeves rolled up, and gray sweatpants. Jolyon: “Hello?”
Panel 34: Side shot of Uldren rushing inside, tackling Jolyon with a hug. Jolyon looks startled, and is stumbling back inside the doorway as the snow blows inside. Jolyon: “Wha-”
Panel 35: Side shot of Jolyon and Uldren embracing. Uldren has buried his face in Jolyon’s shoulder, and Jolyon is cupping the back of his head tenderly with one hand while his other arm drapes around Uldren’s shoulder. Uldren is clutching Jolyon’s sweater with one hand. Jolyon: “Aren’t you supposed to be on earth? Why are you back so soon?” Uldren: “Why do you think? I was freezing my ass off.”
Panel 36: Close shot of Uldren’s face pressed into Jolyon’s sweater, he is smiling wide and blushing slightly. His hair is falling over his face and his eyes are not visible. Uldren: “Listen- this is kind of stupid, but… Do you want to bake something with me? Something sweet?”
Panel 37: Shot of Jolyon’s hands in present day, holding the purple box that Crow has given him. The lid has been removed, revealing that it is full of cookies. They look like italian almond cookes, covered in powdered sugar and slivered almonds. Jolyon: “Hah… you remember that?”
Panel 38: Crow glances away, smiling nostalgically and blushing lightly. Crow: “Yeah. We made… well, I guess they were kind of like almond cookes? There were almonds in them, at least…”
Flashback Panel 1: In the background, a memory from the flashback is visible. It shows Uldren and Jolyon standing in a kitchen. Jolyon is standing behind Uldren and holding his waist affectionately. Uldren is holding a mixing bowl on the kitchen counter with one hand, and is pouring something into the bowl with his other hand. Several ingredients are visible strewn all over the counter, along with piles of spilled dough. Jolyon: “Haha, what are you doing? You’ve got to measure.” Uldren: “Following my royal intuition.” Jolyon: “Your intuition kind of looks like cat puke.”
Flashback Panel 2: View of Jolyon and Uldren from the front. Uldren is mixing the dough with a wooden spoon, and looking down at the bowl with a soft smile. Jolyon is behind him, with one arm wrapped around his waist. His other hand is holding Uldren’s arm tenderly. Jolyon is leaning down to kiss Uldren’s cheek. Jolyon: “You’re making a mess of my kitchen, Sov.” Uldren: “I’ll clean it up.” Jolyon: “Will you?” Uldren: “For you? Probably.”
Panel 39: In present day, Jolyon is staring down at the tin of cookies, smiling faintly. Crow (offscreen): “We didn’t really have much of a plan…” Jolyon: “Uldren wasn’t big on plans. Or recipes.”
Panel 40: Jolyon says from offscreen, above the rest of the panel: “Whatever they were, they didn’t turn out very good.” In the panel, Crow is blushing furiously, looking nervously at a thought bubble to his left with a shaky smile. Within his thought bubble another memory is visible, of Jolyon and Uldren kissing passionately on a couch. In the background of the memory, several “BEEP” sound effects are visible. Jolyon is on top of Uldren, holding Uldren’s head in one hand while kissing his neck. Uldren is smirking, while pulling Jolyon’s shirt off with both hands. Jolyon (flashback): “Oven’s going off. We should probably get that.” Uldren (flashback): “I don’t give a shit.” Crow (present day): “Um. Yeah. They were kind of… burnt…”
Panel 41: In present day, Jolyon is smiling faintly, looking at one of the cookies as he holds it up in front of his face. Crow (offscreen): “These are better, I hope.” Jolyon: “Seems like it.”
Panel 42: Close up of Jolyon taking a bite of the cookie.
Panel 43: Crow is smiling enthusiastically up at Jolyon. Jolyon (offscreen): “They’re good.” Crow: “Good!”
Panel 44: Close up of Jolyon. His smile is falling, he looks seems distant and emotional as he looks down at Crow. His eyes are glistening with the first signs of tears. Jolyon: “I uh…”
Panel 45: Jolyon turning to his right, digging the heel of his hand into his right eye as his tears start to fall. He looks distraught, squeezing his eyes shut. Jolyon: “I should go.”
Panel 46: Shot over Crow’s shoulder, Jolyon is walking swiftly away, holding one hand over his face. Crow is looking after him, with one hand reaching awkwardly towards Jolyon. Crow: “Wait…” Jolyon: “Thank you.”
Panel 47: Shot of Crow’s face as he watches Jolyon leave. He looks startled and upset. Crow: “...”
Panel 48: Crow facepalms, looking frustrated and embarrassed. Crow: AUGH.
Panel 49: Crow is sitting on a rock on the cliffside, he is hunched over and propping up his face on one hand. He looks defeated and is sighing. Glint has re-appeared next to him, and looks enthusiastic. Glint: “That could have gone worse! He said they were good! How do you feel?” Crow. “Fantastic. Why did I let you talk me into this?”
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mewtillidae · 5 months ago
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Congrats on 100 days lol, I know you're waiting for the show but the art takes work to do everyday
Daily Kremy prompt if you want to,
Smoll Kremy hiding in Gideon"s beard :3
Thank you for the very much good serotonin. You're a lovely human for making art <3
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posting a kremy every single day until new episodes of OUAW are out DAY 101
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paper-mario-wiki · 2 years ago
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ive exclusively been playing it by ear with the makeup (no tutorials or anything) and i somehow always end up looking like a secretary kind of so ive been practicing looking exasperated while wearing makeup cuz i figure i gotta work with what im given ya know
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callimara · 2 years ago
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EVERYONE LOOK AT HER
LOOK AT MY SPIDERSONA
her canon event was having to decide on a color scheme for her suit. So much wasted textiles... so much money spent
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dingostrash · 6 months ago
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That Mash so pretty. Thank you for my life Dingo.
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Anytime anon. Why not have another one, on the house.
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secriden · 2 months ago
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*cracks knuckles* Okay lets talk about the elephant in the room: Style going to the support group for those who've suffered loss and telling what appears to be a fake story about losing his pet dog.
I'm going to point out a few things that I think provide a framework for Style's actions here. Not because I think it excuses what he did, but because I think a nuanced read is what the character deserves.
Point 1: An irresistible opportunity
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The subs put the "Support Group for Loss" on the image in the notebook, but I'm not sure there's anything to suggest that Style would've known that was what this image represents until he showed up and saw the sign on top of the door.
In episode 2, Bison says, "He plans everything down from years, months, weeks to days" and then tells Kant:
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So Style is literally just going to addresses/locations at given days and times, potentially not knowing what to expect. And as much as Fadel is certainly attending this meeting as a response to having that heartbreaking flashback (😭), this is also something he attends regularly and has planned to attend way in advance. So Style has no reason to think Fadel is attending this meeting because of a recent resurfacing of his pain.
What we, the audience, and what the characters know are very different things.
Now, should Style have turned his cute ass right around once he realised what this meeting was? Of course he should. But that wouldn't have been true to Style's character. We've been told by his best friend that he is "crazy" and been shown repeatedly that he lives right up to that description.
Style is impulsive. He's all base instinct and he acts on his desires without thought or contemplation. And by this point he is desperate for a deeper connection with Fadel. He's fascinated, captivated by the mystery that is Fadel and this is an excellent opportunity to finally see behind the wall Fadel so carefully maintains.
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When Style sees the sign above the door, Style looks at the notebook (which, again, shows nothing but people sitting in a circle with the words RISE UP) like he's just realising what it means. He then gets this amused, almost rueful look on his face (like he's thinking "am I really going to do this?") before it shifts to determination and he walks through the door.
(My soul for the ability to once again gif something because FUCK Dunk is doing SO MUCH in this show!!)
To Style, this is just too good of an opportunity to give up.
Because let's be real, Fadel is so clearly lying and hiding something:
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Fadel is shady as FUCK. He is simultaneously actually a really good cook (Style finally tries his burger so he knows, now), and also has the skills to work at a strip host club, and also can take on 3 guys in a fight, and also can break a man's arm with his thighs. Can you honestly blame Style for losing his mind just a little bit about wanting to get his hands on something, anything, to figure this man out?
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Style is being absolutely consistent in his persistence to understand Fadel. This isn't about the car or about finally 'winning' the fight (thank you @airenyah for giving such a detailed framework to understand what Style's been doing until this point) anymore. This is about Style wanting to know Fadel himself.
Point 2: The potential implications of the setting
Now, what might give us a bit of insight as to why Style is this way? I have a theory (albeit one that could prove to be very wrong, but hear me out). I think this whole entire show is set in what could potentially be quite a small town/suburb.
There's a few things that make this theory plausible:
(1) Fadel and Bison are in hiding after Bison blew their previous cover. They're probably on the run from some section of the authorities and so it makes sense to settle in a quiet/out of the way place.
(2) Style seems to be really familiar with the people in the area. Like he grew up there and its the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone is in everyone else's business.
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(3) Style is clearly the darling of the market aunties and uncles.
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Style just lost her a sale and potentially a loyal customer, and she's still rooting for him? In episode 2, when Style asks the uncle to let him borrow his cart, it takes nothing but his word for the uncle to give Style his entire cart of produce for his ridiculous scheme.
Style is so clearly someone they all know well and have great affection for, and a very plausible explanation for this is that they all watched him grow up and the entire market (town/village) is fond of him.
And honestly?? Yeah, we see the way Style is actually quite sweet in that careless, guileless, thoughtless way. He goes the extra mile to fix his mistake with Fadel by replacing his car parts for free in episode 1. He helps out by taking orders in episode 2 without being asked and takes it seriously. In episode 3, he tries to drive more business to Fadel's store (bless him, he so clearly does NOT understand how restaurants work, but he MEANS well!!), and can we all acknowledge that it works?? He understands how to appeal to potential customers in the area because he knows the people there. It's not (entirely) his fault that Fadel wasn't remotely prepared for an actual rush crowd and Bison was off getting kinky with Kant and not doing his (fake) job. He is so clear about not judging Fadel's host job and tries his hardest to help him (to absolutely NO effect, but still) when the 3 guys gang up on Fadel.
Style is so loved and more importantly so very loveable.
Point 3: What this could mean for Style's character
So, potentially, Style is someone who grew up in a small town, who has been well loved, potentially spoiled and coddled, but also very much kept within the confines of the narrow viewpoint that a quiet, country town places on you.
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It's in the way his dad scolds him as if he was still a child when he's at least in his mid to late 20s. It's in the way Style was so mad at Fadel for scolding him ("thanks for the lecture, dad"), like that hit a sore point for Style. It's in the way no one in the market takes him seriously; they're fond, but he's still a kid in their eyes. It's in the way he has an abundance of free time like he doesn't REALLY need to work at his dad's shop. It's in the way he sees Fadel beat 3 guys up with ease, starts wondering if Fadel is an assassin or a hitman, and is completely unfazed like he doesn't quite have a handle on reality.
It's in the way his best friend is a man who has no qualms about lying to him and putting his life in danger, and how Style seems to have no other friends or people (aside from his dad) in his life.
@wuxian-vs-wangji made a comment to me about Style being desperate for a meaningful connection, and I think she hit the nail on the head. Because along comes Fadel, a mysterious stranger with a suspiciously versatile set of skills who is also very hot and keeps giving Style these wonderfully complex reactions? Who sometimes wants nothing to do with Style, but at other times seems to be at war within himself about desperately wanting him? Who treats Style with anything but apathy?
This is catnip to Style; he never had any hope of resisting this.
Breaking news: Style is a complex and imperfect character...
Here's the thing, though: he was never going to try. The show has been incredibly upfront about who Style is as a person. Regardless of whether I'm correct about why he is this way (ie. that he is very much the product of the environment that didn't know how to handle a kid with Style's personality), episode 3 shouldn't have surprised anyone about Style. He's been incredibly consistent and true to himself.
He wants Fadel and he's "crazy" enough to go all in, no holds barred about it, and the Support Group was the biggest doorway to finally discovering something REAL about Fadel.
And its not just about sex or to prove his superiority anymore. Because if it was just that, then Style would have reacted very differently to their first time.
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In this scene, Style is pleased and evidently enjoying himself, but he isn't exuberant. He isn't overcome with joy. If anything, he was more happy and excited when Fadel let him help out in the diner (I mentioned this in the tags in this post too) than he was when Fadel is literally fucking him. He lets Fadel set the pace; barely moves to touch Fadel except to hold him close. Almost like he doesn't want to accidentally mess this up, like he's worried he'll take too much, so he'll take what Fadel gives him and no more (please appreciate @braceletofteeth's amazing tags on this post). For a character that has been so aggressively on the offensive, this is shocking until you realise that sleeping with Fadel - while it's a step in the right direction - isn't Style's end goal anymore.
And he makes that abundantly clear in this episode:
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Does Style even fully realise the weight of this desire? I doubt it. But I do believe that Style is in earnest. He doesn't fully understand his own feelings, but he also doesn't really care to either. All he knows is that he wants Fadel, wants his attention and his passion and his focus and his heart.
...but Style is also kind of, sort of, perfect.
Because he's exactly, precisely, breathtakingly exactly what Fadel needs.
Because Fadel is hurt and broken and bleeding inside. Because Fadel is barely holding it all together for Bison's sake, but has already given up hope for any true happiness for himself. Because Fadel can't trust anyone or anything in his life, when he's been used and used and used by the family who should've loved and cared and protected him.
Because it's going to take nothing short of this kind of unwavering, unshakable, uncomplicated determination to give Fadel even a chance of healing and opening his heart to love again.
#saw a post about style being one-dimensional and boring and I nearly had a breakdown because what are you TALKING about???#he's so perfectly messed up and terrible and unfiltered and WONDERFUL in all the wrong and right ways#and others have pointed out there's potentially even MORE to style's backstory because of the “coincidence” of Lilly meeting with#someone with the same name as the dog Style talks about in his story#listen the story telling in this show drives me inSANE in the best way and i'm baffled at some of the takes i'm seeing#can we at least... let his story play out maybe before dismissing or hating on Style?? its literally ONLY episode 3.#anyway yes its me your resident style apologist back to be unnecessarily emotional about style again#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk meta#style meta#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#style sattawat#fadelstyle#also FUCK ME dunk is just constantly serving every single episode and i've seen so many posts appreciating joong's acting (RIGHTLY SO!)#but not nearly enough love for the frankly INSANE performance dunk has been giving every single episode#i love him i love him I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY T_T#dunk natachai#ALSO (not that this means i can speak for everyone in a similar circumstance)#but as someone who lost my father to cancer as a teenager i DO understand and relate to the FURY Fadel must have felt in ep 3#and i DO think style was wrong to have treated the situation so lightly#but like literally WHAT in this show sets up any expectation for style to have the emotional maturity to do that?#and also this doesn't make him an inherently bad person ACTUALLY#it makes him an idiot and needing to be taught the right way to respond to people who are grieving. but guess what; he's NOT ALONE??#because let me tell you the amount of times i wanted to punch FULL GROWN ADULTS for giving me “well meaning” platitudes at my dad's funeral#...but the thing is they DID mean well. they just didn't realise how hurtful their words were#and life is filled with imperfect people who make mistakes and part of our journey is learning from them and trying our best to be kind
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