#kind of thinking I might take an official leave of absence from here for the foreseeable future

[azaharinflames]

Well, hello my fellow and beloved BuckTommies. I come here with a new theory - not quite or what will happen, but on what did.

Let me put my tin hat firmly on my head for a second, alright? Because we have been talking about all kinds of possibilities, and have theorized about BTS, and even budget cuts, but.

We are all missing one thing.

What happened during the summer that has repercussions in the series right now? Or that will have in the immediate future, but we’re only seeing the start of...?

An ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ reboot was officially announced.

It is set to be filmed in Australia come the New Year. And JLH, famously having been in the first one, is going to Australia to film for this one as well. 

This means that, just like they did in Season 5, they will have to take JLH’s absence and other compromises into consideration. In Season 5 she was on maternity leave, this time around she has a movie to shoot. And it just hit me that it might be the reason why things got moved around, and why perhaps they did what they did with BuckTommy.

(Disclaimer: I am not putting this on JLH, and I don’t want anyone to do it either. If this is something that clashed with the initial plan, what the writers and Tim came up with it’s on them, never Jennifer)

We know Tim is not someone who writes his stuff in advance. He’s flying by the seat of his pants; he writes as he goes, and this is something he has said before. So now he has to write and plan in advance because Jennifer will be somewhat absent. The direct result of this is, in my opinion, Madney.

The storyline of them having a second child at home, having her go back to her family, having Jee notice her absence, and then starting to debate on whether to have a second kid… had the potential to be more than one episode. Or, at the very least, to end the episode with them deciding that, yeah, they want to try, they want to expand their family. Maddie’s mentality on PPD could’ve been an episode in itself (Lord knows we don’t get enough Maddie episodes, especially lately), instead of a throwaway line on how she doesn’t want PPD to define her. I do think it’s amazing she’s at that point in her life and on her journey, but I can’t help but think this could’ve also been a really nice episode arc to have. Chimney’s doubts were also gone pretty quickly, with not even needing to talk to anyone about it. All in all - the storyline felt rushed and a bit anticlimactic. And at this point, I can only imagine they will somehow try to create some drama surrounding the pregnancy in 808 (807 perhaps, but it feels like it’s busy enough) so that Jennifer’s absence is justified. We don’t know if, just like in Season 5, Kenny will also be absent (Chim going with Maddie wherever she goes, I don’t know). People weren’t happy with him having to be off the show in Season 5, so I hope he stays, but we don’t know just yet. 

A side result of this could’ve also been BuckTommy. If there is something I’ve gathered from Oliver and Lou’s interviews is that both were a bit surprised it happened this soon. Now, we don’t know if this means they were breaking up for good later on in the season, if this was supposed to be a longer arc, or if they knew there were talks of break-up-make-up, once they were more established. As it is, this happened now.

And in my mind there are two possible theories. Let me present first why I have them:

-They need some substantial drama to go on for 8b. Bathena went through it in S7 and now are rebuilding their life, so it would be a bit of an overkill to have them go through it in S8 as well. Eddie is going through his own stuff and is going on a journey of discovering and enjoying himself (that, personally, I hope deals with actually dealing with it and having deep conversations with Chris). Hen and Karen have just gone over the drama of the adoption and, to be honest, they need a breather. Give them SLs that don’t involve them somewhat losing their kids (be it adoption, or an accident). 

-So… that leaves Buck. Buck, whom we all joked was the only one doing fine in Season 7. Whom we all said was going to go through it in Season 8 to compensate for his happiness in 7. Well. The joke’s on us. He’s had such a drama-free period of his life (yes, affected by what was happening around him, but not directly involved in it) that I think we forgot they enjoy making him suffer. We barely saw a thing with Gerard, and nothing to last the whole season, so… now this. 

So. From this, I see two options:

-They always knew they wanted to have BT have issues, that they didn’t want them to be easy or smooth-sailing, because has a couple in this show been that? No, right? So why would they? So they wanted a break-up arc, potentially ending in making up. Perhaps things moved around a little bit, we don’t know. But maybe they want 8b to deal with Buck trying to see what Tommy meant, yet realizing he still wants Tommy, thus starting the make-up arc. Meaning, they decided to have BT bear the weight of the heavy drama of this second half. People are already invested, clearly, and with JLH gone for a bit, they need people interested in what will happen next.

-Sort of the same, but different results - they just want Buck dating around and having drama with that. Admittedly weaker than the other option, but it is one I don’t necessarily eliminate just yet. Mostly because I’ve learned to be skeptical of 911’s intentions. 

Previous to 806, I fully expected 8b to have more Buck/BT, Madney stories as A plot, as they haven’t had one in 8A. But now that I think about it all, I can’t help but wonder if those last minutes decisions were to accomodate what will happen, just like it happened in Season 5 (which, I will remind you, dealt with her absence by having a lot more of Taylor than we were expecting. Her appearances went down quite a bit once JLH and Kenny were back, and shortly after, she was gone).

Again, I am aware I might be delulu right now. But for the first time in days, something has fully made sense to me. In conclusion:

[wideminded-dreamer]

.

[heliads]

Someone's Brother, Someone's Sister

Based on this request: "y/n’s motivation for joining the dregs is that she has a sister with a work contract with pekka rollins. she wants to break into pekkas office and destroy her sisters contract. when kaz finds out he talks about his brother and y/n gets the impression he’s projecting his relationship into theirs and she resents that?"

masterlist

It is surprisingly easy to enter the home of the Dregs. The building affectionately referred to as the Slat looms on the horizon; oil lamps shine in its crooked windows like gap teeth, and the stones and brick of the exterior are unwashed and dark with soot. All who pass by it do so with great unease, tugging coat lapels over mouths lest the devil get in on a stray word that wasn’t a prayer for salvation. 

You would think it would be some kind of impenetrable fortress, but you walk right in. There are guards loitering by the door, relaxed in the knowledge that someone who wanted to be here would have tried to kill them already, and any intruder who wasn’t trying to start a fight would lose their money if not their life when they tried to leave again. People don’t just bother the Dregs. You beat them or you die trying. There is no peaceful coexistence.

The wooden boards creak under your feet, but no one casts you longer than a fleeting glance before moving on to better, brighter things. It would be a stupid idea to come here unless you were invited. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for you to navigate up to the top floor, taking the staircase level by level until the stitch in your side tells you that you’ve reached the summit.

Kaz Brekker is not expecting you. Not officially, anyway. Still, for someone who supposedly has no idea you’re coming, he looks rather unsurprised when you enter his office after knocking once on his door. You think you see a flash of black at his window, but when you double take, it’s gone. Kaz does not acknowledge the shadow’s absence any more than he points out your presence.

Instead, he tilts his head back, knocking a wave of raven-black hair from his cold gaze. “Can I help you?”

It’s a pleasant thing to say. Were it not for the fact that he’s eyeing you like you’re a lamb before the slaughter, you’d almost believe that he genuinely does want to help you. However, this is, of course, the Barrel, and no one would go out on a limb for anyone unless they had an idea of a pound of flesh they could extract for themselves.

“I have a younger sister,” you begin.

Kaz cuts you off irritably before you can progress much further than that. He waves a gloved hand, annoyed already, which isn’t a good sign. “Everybody does. Do you know how many people beg me for jobs every day? There are scores of brothers with mouths to feed in this city. If I wanted to help someone’s sick mother or dying cousin, I would run a hospital, not a gang. Get a better excuse or get out.”

You fold your arms across your chest. “Fine. I know someone working in Pekka Rollins’ office. Is that better?”

Kaz lifts one shoulder. “I have spies already.”

“Not this one,” you tell him. “My sister works in Pekka’s buildings every day. Cleaning, polishing, that sort of thing. Who knows the kinds of papers she might see? Or the people feeding him information? No one suspects the help.”

“I don’t need you to tell me the importance of spies in the shadows,” Kaz scoffs, but he’s less dismissive than before. Good. You need this to work, even if it’s a sob story he’s both heard and told time and time again.

“Is that why you sent some of your men to follow my sister and I?” You ask slowly.

Dirtyhands doesn’t smile. Kaz might, though. When the corners of his lips twitch upwards, you’re not sure if it’s a declaration of his good humor or just an indication of a wolf ready to feast on blood and gore, but either way, it’s better than the barren stare.

“Why would I send my own Dregs after a maid and her sister?” He questions you.

You meet his gaze coolly. “Because you were already looking at us as a potential source of information. I’m here to accept your job.”

“I haven’t made an offer,” Kaz points out.

You shrug. “Don’t, then. There are plenty of other gangs in the Barrel. I just need a way to get my sister out of Pekka’s grasp before it’s too late. If you won’t help, I’ll find someone else who will.”

Kaz leans forward slightly. “It isn’t the best idea to flaunt your disloyalty. If you’re just as willing to go to other gangs, why should I trust you in mine?”

“I’m as loyal as I need to be once I’m hired. Once that happens, you won’t have a reason to doubt either of us. That I can promise.” 

He cocks his head at you, considering this. “Making your sister into an informant could kill both of you. One misplaced sense of familial duty isn’t worth the agony Pekka Rollins could cause you if you fail.”

“It would be worse not to try,” you assert. “I owe her that much.”

Something passes over Kaz’s face, a shadow of something he won’t say aloud. For someone who’s heard this story before, he seems affected by it regardless. Perhaps that’s why he’s so cold and calculating outright; if his candidates are scared off by him, they won’t trouble him with their siblings and parents and relatives any longer.

At last, Kaz places his hands carefully on the desk. “I have entertained the possibility of your sister feeding me information before,” he admits, “I consider it for every new hire of his. You were already a possibility before you even knew I existed.”

He proves this statement by pulling a piece of paper out of his desk. You scan it quickly, realizing it’s a contract with a blank at the bottom for you to sign. “And what, me showing up sealed the deal?”

He nods indifferently. “It proved you were willing to face the risk of this job. I don’t want my spies to be cowards.”

“Trust me, you’ll find that both of us are brave enough,” you tell him, and sign the contract with a flourish. 

Kaz takes the paper back, eyeing you appraisingly. “I suppose we’ll find that out soon enough.”

He’s as good as his word. Not two days have gone by before you’re given a set of instructions. Your sister must find a select document in Pekka’s office while she’s cleaning and report back a series of names to you, who will in turn feed the information to Kaz. Your sister already informed you that she would be more than fine with taking this sort of risk if it would get her out, but you can’t help a knot of guilt from twisting around your stomach when you think of the disastrous consequences should she get caught in the act.

She isn’t caught, though, and soon enough you’re hurrying back to the Slat. Kaz looks microscopically more welcoming on your second visit, but this quickly shuts down when, instead of telling him your sister’s information, you start out instead by telling him that you want your sister out of Pekka’s grasp in a month or less.

“That’s absurd,” Kaz says flatly. “Why would I terminate such a useful asset?”

“Because I want her safe, and even if you won’t have her, you’ll still have me as a member of the Dregs, and I’ll be more familiar with Pekka than most of your other employees,” you argue. “Besides, you had me sign a contract, not my sister. She has no responsibility to you.”

He arches a brow. “And how exactly would you go about removing Pekka’s influence from your sister? He’s not the kind of man who gives up easily, that I can assure you.”

“It won’t be that difficult,” you assure him, “my sister’s a maid, not one of his higher level employees. I just need to get in his office so I can destroy the contract she signed with him. After that, he’ll have no reason to keep her around, and he’ll still be under the impression that she knows nothing, so she’ll just slip out from his fingertips.”

“Of course,” Kaz muses sarcastically, “it shouldn’t be any trouble at all to get into Pekka Rollins’ office. It’s not as if that office has been the object of my attention for quite some time.”

“So we’ll make a heist out of it. Fine. Send other guys with me, we can take money or documents or whatever while I tear up the contract. One month, though, and she’s out.”

Kaz is silent for some time. “You really think you can protect your sister from Pekka Rollins? No one can. No brother is strong enough to protect their family from him.”

“I have no brothers to protect me,” you whisper, “just me. If I lose my sister, I have no one.”

“You are not the only one,” he says slowly, “with no one. You would not be the first one to underestimate what you’re getting yourself into. This sort of thing can drown you.”

He shivers when he says drown, a whole body spasm. You’re not sure that he’s aware of it. You’re not even sure that he is aware of you anymore. Wherever Kaz is, it’s not here, not anymore. He is in the thrall of some memory you could not dream of understanding.

“You can’t keep anyone safe from Pekka,” Kaz mutters. “You can’t. He couldn’t. J–”

He cuts himself off abruptly, knuckles curled into such tight fists that you almost expect the gloves to tear. Instead, he speaks up again, voice hoarse but controlled. “You may try. The information. Now.”

You tell him what your sister learned, afraid to hold back anything. When you leave the room, Kaz looks unsettled again, eyes wide and haunted. There is something he knows about Pekka Rollins that he will not tell you, something he’s reminded of whenever you speak of your sister.

You see this shadow of his again and again in the coming weeks. Sometimes it lingers for longer. Other times he blinks it away in a flash and he’s back again like nothing ever happened. When one month passes and your deadline comes to save your sister, he actually agrees with a plan to break into Pekka’s office. You weren’t entirely expecting him to accept such terms, but you think there is something compelling him to do this more than mere greed.

Then again, maybe greed is all. When the announcement is delivered to a select group of Dregs that you’ll be breaking into Pekka’s office, Kaz gives no mention of your sister nor her contract. In fact, when you bring it up to him, he just waves his hand and listlessly says that you can do what you please in there so long as you don’t ruin the mission.

At the beginning, maybe this casual dismissal would have stung, but you’ve grown accustomed to Kaz’s varying tempers by now, so you nod and take your leave. He’s standing by his window when your group leaves. You can see his silhouette when you look back, and although he’s too far away for you to see much other than a black shadow against the gold of lantern-light, you can sense the deep furrow of his brow as if he were right there before you.

Kaz is not your concern now, though, the heist is far more important. Still, you can’t help but turn to Inej Ghafa, who was appointed to lead this little expedition, and ask her why Kaz isn’t coming with you. It’s a foray into the stronghold of his enemy, why wouldn’t he be there?

Inej has always been kind to you, and the soft downturn of her frown when she speaks to you emanates calm sympathy. “He doesn’t want to mess with your task,” she says simply, “Not what the rest of us are doing, but how you’re freeing your sister. He says he doesn’t fare well with family disputes, not when Pekka’s around.”

You shake your head. “That makes no sense. Kaz isn’t superstitious. He doesn’t believe in luck, bad or otherwise.”

Inej lifts a shoulder, the movement a ripple of shadow against shadow in the dark of night. “I know. It’s all he’d tell me, though.”

You can feel her eyes on you even after the conversation ends, even after you walk away. So Kaz is afraid to mess with this, then. If you dared to put a finger on it, you think it might– well, it might even have to deal with Jordie.

You’re not entirely sure that Kaz is aware he has spoken the boy’s name aloud. It took him a long time, many long nights and early mornings. He has taken to musing and mumbling when you’re there. On one of those times, you heard a name. Jordie. Between that and his unnatural fixation on your relationship with your sister, you’ve been able to guess at a story. You may not be aware of any other Brekkers in the city, but that does not mean there were never any before you joined the gang.

The air inside Pekka’s headquarters is fraught with peril. Still, your sister’s information is good, and you’re able to find your way to the man’s office without too much trouble. There’s a filing cabinet in the back, full of contracts, and you quickly leaf through them to find your sister’s. You burn it with the very candle on Pekka’s desk, and after thoroughly checking to make sure there are no duplicates, you rejoin the rest of the gang without another word.

Kaz is waiting for you when you come back. The rest of you stole other important documents from Pekka’s office, just as you proposed when you first mentioned your need to liberate your sister, but Kaz quickly shoos everyone out of his office but you.

He sits there, stiff as a corpse, and stares at you. “Did it work?” He asks hollowly, “Did you save her?”

You nod. “The contract was destroyed. She’s safe.”

“The contract may be gone, but there’s no telling of her safety,” Kaz muses, half to himself, “No one is safe, not really. You think you’re alright and then he disappears, and then it’s over.”

You close your eyes for a moment of strength, but when you force them open again, Kaz still has the same weary expression on your face. It’s starting to rub you the wrong way, if it hasn’t since the first day. “My sister is fine, Kaz. I’ll find her work somewhere else. We’ll both be okay.”

Kaz’s eyes flash to you. “How can you promise her safety? You can’t do anything to save her. Not here.”

“I just did,” you argue, “I destroyed the contract. I did it. Pekka’s hold on her is over.”

“And what about the rest of us?” Kaz questions. “Can you find the rest of our contracts, too? Can you act like a Saint and save all of us?”

His tone is bitter, mocking. It cuts you to the bone. “I’m not your Jordie, Kaz. I can’t fix you.”

“I know,” he says, the words gut-wrenching, “I know.”

You stand abruptly. He does nothing to stop you. “I’m still honoring my contract,” you tell him, “I’ll carry on as a Dreg unless you kick me out. But don’t you ever even think about putting my sister in harm’s way. Her days as a spy are over.”

Your rooms seem even smaller than usual that evening, despite the fact that your sister is overjoyed at the thought that her life won’t be at risk anymore. In every one of her smiles, though, you hear Kaz’s warnings rattling in your ears. You can’t protect her. None of us can. Who are you to think otherwise?

You still show up at the Slat. You’re given jobs from down the ladder of command, never from Kaz himself. You haven’t haunted the top floor office in days, then weeks. It is fine, sort of, except for the fact that you do not want it to be just fine, you want– you want him, and that’s not what you expected at all.

A month goes by with no word from him, and then one night you’re out strolling by the harbor, looking over at the relentless surge of the tides, and he materializes from the gloom to stand there beside you.

He doesn’t look at you at first, just stares out at the water. “Your sister is alright.” Not a question, just a statement. You wouldn’t be surprised if he has taken it upon himself to find out that information already.

“Yes,” you answer.

He tilts his head up to stare at the empty sky. “This city has a way of wrecking us. You have enough bad turns and you think they’ll never end. You don’t trust it when someone has something good. I have been waiting for your rescue attempt to be ruined. It hasn’t.”

You nod. “Not all good things are a trap, Kaz.”

“I know,” he says, “I know. I’m sorry.”

You glance over at him in surprise. Dirtyhands doesn’t apologize. Kaz might, though.

Kaz meets your gaze for a second longer, then starts to walk away. “My door is open,” he tells you over his shoulder, then disappears back into the gloom of night once more.

You watch him until he’s long gone, then turn back to the water once more. The Barrel is not a good place to cultivate your dreams. More often than not, you’ll end up drinking poison instead of wine. Tonight, though– tonight, you think it might not be so bad after all.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @eclliipsed, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy

[bellamer]

Man alright I’ve deduced it and here’s who absolutely did and didn’t tell Kaidan about Shepard and Garrus

Garrus- If Kaidan wasn’t on speaking terms with Shepard for joining Cerberus, why would he actively reach out to talk to Garrus ? And if Garrus was too busy to shoot Shepard a “U good” message to his girl Kaidan was definitely the last one on his mind.

Liara- Literally what reason would she have ? I’d assume she was too busy with shadow broker shit and her studying the prothean artifact unless she just did it to be mean because Geena originally rejected Liara for Kaidan and then moved onto Garrus like Kaidan was nothing but in ME3 she still assumes that she still has a thing for Kaidan but I don’t think it was her unless she wanted to be a bitch even though I don’t know how she’d know about Shepard and Garrus in the first place since she was too busy playing with her shiny new shadow broker toys.

Tali- Again, if he wasn’t on speaking terms with Shepard he wouldn’t be on speaking terms with her now matter how much she claims to hate Cerberus. If he didn’t believe his girlfriend why would he believe tali ? Also I can’t see them talking outside of a work basis anyways.

James- He didn’t even know that Kaidan knew Shepard so I doubt he knows their romantic history and he just freshly met Garrus while Kaidan was still comatose in the hospital and depending on how you play Garrus and Shepard might not even rekindle their romance until after visiting Kaidan or whatever. I don’t know, I know it wasn’t this idiot.

EDI- She’s way too smart for that and I can’t understand any scenario where she’d drop the bomb on Kaidan on their mission to mars since that’s the only time they interacted until he officially comes back but that’s way after he already confronted Shepard

Now let me tell you who it could have been:

Dr Chakwas- She cares about Kaidan deeply and even though she did join up with Cerberus she wasn’t officially part of them. She took a leave of absence from her actual job because the Cerberus thing was just a “temporary gig and Shepard needed her” and I can see her visiting him in the hospital and telling him that she knows Shepard and Kaidan had a thing but to not get his hopes up. She might have let it slip so that Kaidan doesn’t find out that hard way and gets hurt.

Joker- Even though he joined up with Cerberus too he technically started “ working” under the alliance again and since EDI only “obeyed” his commands and the alliance was too dumb to figure it out and he still had direct contact with Anderson, I figure he could convince Kaidan to have a drink with him. He probably accidentally let it slip and said that he wouldn’t say more and to just “ask Shepard”

Thane- If Thane is still alive in the play through it’s mentioned that he and Kaidan met in the hospital and while talking he probably let it slip and Shepard and Garrus hooked up but refused to say more once he saw the look on Kaidan’s face, knowing that he misspoke.

Any other answer kind of doesn’t make sense as to who snitched to Kaidan. Like it would take several convoluted reasons to explain to me why Urdnot Wrex, Kasumi, Grunt, Miranda, Jacob or whoever would go out of their own way to tell Kaidan that Shepard moved on like a day after they broke up but whatever

[3mcwriting]

Any Fan's Dream, Part 6

Any Fan's Dream Masterlist

Synopsis:

When you look around and see Avengers Tower in front of you and Peter Parker beside you, you wonder how the hell you managed to get into the MCU.

Taglist: @secretly-sirens, @zeeader, @imdoingathingmom, @x-theolivia, @ainsley-official, @huntress-artemiss, @hoohoohope, @ourgoddessathena,

Sorry if I missed anyone, please just message me again and I'll add you.

You exited the elevator, walking into the large hallway. You took your usual route to Tony's workshop, thoughts darting like tadpoles in a pond. Your mind would go from, how do I change Civil War? Can I change Civil War?, to, if I do change it, will they still win in the end? Or will they lose to Thanos? 

There were so many questions you needed answers for, but you had no idea how you were supposed to even start to look for them. 

Well.

You did have one idea.

There was a certain sorcerer that might know what happened and how. 

But what happened if you told him and he sent you back to your home world? You didn't think you could handle leaving this place, this amazing world, having it torn away from you and being thrown back into the lonely, listless, life you had been shuffling through for 18 years.

You shook your head, nope. For now, telling Strange wasn't an option unless you could be sure that he wouldn't send you back. 

Was that the right thing to do? You weren't sure, but you weren't quite ready to risk leaving this life behind. 

You entered the workshop, frowning when you saw that Tony wasn't in there. You left the room and began to wander, trying to find someone. When your search turned up no results, you checked your phone. You hadn't received any messages telling you to stay home, nothing explaining the absence of people in the Tower.

And then you finally remembered FRIDAY. 

"Hey, uh FRIDAY?"

"Yes, Miss (l/n)?"

"Um, do you know where anybody is?"

"Who in particular are you looking for?"

"Oh." You thought about it, then remembered that "your" internship technically had nothing to do with any of the Avengers(besides Tony). "I'm here for my internship so I guess Tony-er Iron Man- no, Mr. Stark?" 

What were you supposed to call him?

You didn't want to call him Tony, he was older and a hero and you didn't know if you had that privilege. Then again, Iron Man was kind of strange to call him, but you really didn't want to call him Mr. Stark because that was Peter's thing. Well, not yet, but-

"He is not here at the moment. But if you would like to go see him, head down to the garage."

"The garage?" you wondered aloud. You didn't know where the garage was, well, it was probably on the lowest floor but who knows? This was Tony Stark's building, it could be anywhere.

FRIDAY took your question as if it was for her, "Head to the elevator and press the button with the capital 'G' on it."

"Oh, ok." You followed the directions, "Thanks, FRIDAY."

"You're welcome, Miss (l/n)."

~~

You felt your jaw drop when you stepped into the cavernous room.

Row upon row of cars greeted you when you stepped out of the elevator. 

Maseratis, Ferraris, Corvettes, Rolls Royces, and ooh-

Was that a 67' Chevy Impala?"

Your eyes darted around furiously, trying to take in every beautiful vehicle. There were old cars, new ones, some in states of disrepair, others flashing like a new penny underneath the fluorescent lighting. 

Then you spotted it-

Your dream car was sitting right there, calling out to you to go closer. Your feet seemed to have a mind of their own, moving you ever closer to the gorgeous vehicle. You ran your hand gingerly over it's hood, each touch tinged with disbelief at the situation.

You were in Avengers Tower, interning for Tony Stark, and you were in his garage looking at your dream car. 

How was this real?

You looked over the vehicle, eyes roving every part of the beautiful machine in front of you.

It wasn't in perfect condition, the paint was a little faded, a couple small scratches around and one tennis-ball sized dent in the rear. But none of those little flaws was able to distract you from how utterly mind-blowing it was. 

"FRIDAY, am I allowed to go in any of the cars?"

"Of course, as long as they aren't a danger."

You took that to mean not to go into any of the ones with the hoods cracked open or pieces missing.

"This car isn't a danger, right?"

You watched as a camera in the corner turned to look in the direction you were in. 

A second later, you got your answer, "No, that car is not a danger."

"Awesome," you breathed. "Thank you, FRIDAY."

"You're welcome."

You tried the handle of the car, pleasantly surprised when it wasn't locked. You opened the door, seating yourself in the seat. 

You looked around, eyes combing over the interior with wonder across your face. The car turned on as soon as you were settled in the seat, the engine starting with a beautiful noise. 

The inside of the car was much too advanced for the type of vehicle it was- or really for any vehicle. Tony must've worked on it, because a deep voice(that you assumed was an A.I.) asked you, "Where would you like to go?" 

You jumped in your seat, not expecting the voice. "U-uhm, I would like to go wherever Ton- Mr. Stark is."

"Buckle up, please," the voice requested politely, "you will arrive in about half an hour."

You followed the voice's directions, amazed as the car maneuvered itself out of the parking space. You couldn't help but laugh, excited giggles spilling out of you as the car drove you to your destination. 

Peter would love this-

OH WAIT

You took a couple of selfies, as well as some pictures of the car. You took a video of it, showing how the car was driving itself then your expression as it moved.

You sent it all to Peter, messaging him:

You: I LOVE MY INTERNSHIP

He responded within a couple of minutes.

Husband: no way!! thats so cool!

Husband: youre so lucky. i want one.

You: not this one. this one is MINE

Husband: but-

Husband: i thought we were friends

You: bros before hoes. 

You: this car is my bro

You: you're my hoe

You: sorry honeybun

Husband: i suppose thats understandable

Husband: i would make the same decision

You: HEY

"You have arrived at the destination."

You looked up from your phone, looking around and seeing the place you were at. 

The Compound.

You texted Peter a quick 'good-bye' then slid your phone into a pocket. You stepped out of the car. You weren't very worried about someone stealing the car, what person would be stupid enough to steal Iron Man's car at the Avengers Compound?

You stopped in front of the door, nervous. You hadn't stepped inside the building when you had gone there with Steve, the two of you had stayed outside the whole time. Now, here you were. You weren't sure if you were supposed to be there. What if you interrupted something?

What if-

What if you interrupted the meeting? The one at the beginning of Civil War. When the Sokovia Accords are proposed.

That thought pushed you to enter the building because, dammit you had things you had to say and that asshole talking down on them deserved to be put in his place.

That scene always made you mad because of how much he underplayed the things they had done for the world. 

That thought fueled you until you stood in front of the Avengers, everyone staring at you when you interrupted. With eyes on you, you swallowed nervously. The nerves faded though, replaced by excitement. 

There's Wanda! Ooh and Sam! And Rhodey- ooh everyone is here!

You knew from watching the movie(multiple times) who would be there, but seeing them all gathered in one room, a group of your heroes, it was amazing.

A throat being cleared reminded you that it wasn't just the Avengers and you in the room, your eyes glanced at Secretary Ross, lips curling in disgust. 

He had interrupted your fan-girling! And for that he deserved to die- wait I don't think I can do that. The Avengers probably won't let me murder someone- well, they don't really like him, so who knows?

"Is there a reason you're interrupting this meeting?"

Your fists clenched, hearing the complete disrespect in his voice while he looked you over in disgust.

"She's one of my interns," Tony piped up.

The Secretary's voice didn't mask his displeasure at all. "Why is she here?" 

"'She' can talk," you managed to say through clenched teeth.

"Well, I'd rather you didn't."

And I’d rather you got stabbed multiple times but we don’t always get what we want, now do we?

You were ready to beat that stupid bitch, but Tony had stood up and grasped your arm before steering you to an open seat.  

He whispered to you, "what are you doing here?"

"I'm on the clock, remember?"

"How did you even get here?"

"I drove one of your cars, well technically, the car drove me. Which, by the way, is really cool."

You sat down, Tony settling into his seat next to you. 

"You can continue," Tony said, flashing the Secretary that infuriating smirk to purposefully get on the other man's nerves.

"A random child should not hear the things we have to talk about."

Your hands squeezed the armrests of the chair tightly, what was this dick's problem? 

"She works for me," Tony said, his voice taking on an unfamiliar tone. He was serious when he spoke, "she can stay."

You felt your heart warm, unable to stop the grin from climbing onto your face. The happy expression did not go unnoticed by the Secretary, the man huffing angrily but proceeding.

"As I was saying," he cleared his throat, "five years ago, I had a heart attack....and dropped right in the middle of my back swing."

"Too bad you didn't stay down," you murmured, Tony's snort of amusement not going unnoticed by you.

"Turned out, it was the best round of my life, because after 13 hours of surgery and a triple bypass, I found something 40 years in the Army had never taught me:

Perspective.

The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives..."

Damn right they did, and what the fuckin Secretary was about to do was show how little the world trusted the people who stood up to threats no one else could. 

"...but while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the word, 'vigilantes'."

They are heroes. 

You hated how they managed to tear apart this team, this wonderful, amazing, group of people who only wanted to help the world.

"And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?" Natasha spoke up.

He looked at her, "how about dangerous?"

Your jaw clenched.

"What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals, who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose. And who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?"

You couldn't bite your tongue any longer, "as opposed to nuking a whole ass island with civilians on it?"

The Secretary glanced at you, "you have no idea what you're talking about-"

"You're berating them," you gestured to the people around the table, "when you wanted to send an atomic bomb to Manhattan. You would've wiped out countless lives and here you are looking down on the people who saved that from happening. In fact, you did send the bomb. This man right here," you pointed at Tony, "he risked his life pushing that nuke through the fucking wormhole and saved all those lives you had endangered."

"You need to be silent," he responded, "I will not explain myself to a child."

You were about ready to snap back at his patronizing but Natasha beat you to it.

"Secretary, I will politely remind you to show some respect." Natasha's eyes glinted dangerously, the danger in her smile hidden like poison in wine. 

The man glanced at the spy, swallowing. Even he wasn't stupid enough to aggravate the Black Widow. 

He cleared his throat nervously, then pressed a button and the glass wall behind him lit up with News coverage of New York during the invasion.

"New York."

"You're really showing video footage that shows the destruction in New York when if you would have had your way there wouldn't be a New York to film." you snorted, rolling your eyes his actions.

Ordinarily, you would be a bit less antagonistic, but you couldn't help the distaste you had for the man. He was disrespecting and blaming your heroes, underappreciating the fact that they saved the fucking world multiple times and you couldn't control how much your distaste for the man showed itself.

"Would you be quiet?" the Secretary was clearly fed up with your interruptions.

But you were just as fed up, if not more, "I'll be quiet when you stop being a dick! Which means I guess I'm never shutting up! Jeez! Do you not remember all the things this amazing team has done for the world? They've saved countless lives and you don't appreciate that! "

He looked guilty for a second, like a child being yelled at for getting in trouble, "you don't know anything."

His voice was not nearly as confident as it was before, but he tried to continue his projection. He was about to press the button again, you knew what that button did. It was going to switch the footage to the Sokovia footage, you glared at him. He gulped when he saw the way you were staring at him, he didn't continue to the other footage.

He cleared his throat, "but I think we have a solution. The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries, it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary."

Steve spoke up, "the Avengers were formed to make the world a better place. I feel we've done that."

You knew what was about to happen, Ross was going to compare Thor and Bruce to nukes and say that they 'lost them'. Your glare went even scarier.

The Secretary looked at you and swallowed the words he was about to say, "regardless, the Accords are your option. Compromise. Reassurance. That's how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground."

Rhodey placed his hand on the table, "so, there are contingencies?"

"Three days from now, the UN meets in Vienna, to ratify the Accords." Ross informed them. "Talk it over."

Natasha spoke up as the Secretary began to leave, "and if we come to a decision you don't like?"

"Then you retire."

[msfantasy]

Unbecoming

Summary: Anne is off travelling, while Sebastian is kept busy completing missions assigned by the ministry. Leaving Y/n to care for Feldcroft in their absence.

Warning: Sexual themes, swearing.

Sebastian x Reader

Sebastian trudges back to Feldcroft from his long exhausting and stressful week completing the mission the Ministry had assigned to him. Due to Sebastians excellent work, he was able to complete the mission 3 weeks ahead of schedule.

Sebastian was elated to complete his work early, earning himself a vacation in the process. There was just one irritation that scratched at him as he looked towards Feldcroft.

It was the fact that Y/n L/n was sitting in his favourite wooden lawn chair. She sits comfortably leaning back reading the Daily Prophet, tight clothes leaving little to the imagination, her leg kicked over the arm rest, a towel wrapped around her hair, with a cigarette hanging delicately from her lips.

Dear Merlin, what was Anne's brat of a friend doing in his beloved sanctuary. Walking up behind her, his voice booms.

"Why are you here? Where is Anne?And why are you prancing my property looking like that?" Sebastian spits in rapid fire. Y/n shuttered in surprise at his sudden appearance.

"Oh? I thought you weren't meant to be back for another 3 weeks." Y/n answers tilting her head towards Sebastian with little effort. He continues to stare down at her barely clothes form in irritation.

"Answer my questions." He demands, making Y/n throw her papers in irritation.

"Oh hi Y/n, lovely to see you again." Y/n says acting as Sebastian. "Why hello Sebastian, it is wonderful to see you as well. You might be wondering why I am here, it's because Anne left in a hurry when the Romanian Ministry recalled her back. Anne left me in charge until you have arrived back in 3 weeks time." Y/n switches back to Sebastians grumbly voice. "Thank you dearly for your assistance. Might I add how radiant you look." Y/n playfully slaps Sebastians arm. "Oh why thank you Sebastian - you naughty boy." She says with a wink walking back to the house.

"Thank you for you help Y/n - truely kind. Now get out." He says following in pursuit. Y/n's eyes go wide at the abrupt kicking.

"Seb - I cannot leave so suddenly." Sebastian walks through straight to the guest room where Y/n's belongings are placed away, he pulls out her bags to help her pack and leave.

"Yes you can- the leaky cauldron is not far from here." He says coldly. Panic rises within the intruding girl.

"They have no vacancies!" She rushes to her bags, and putting them away. A frustrated groan passes Sebastians lips.

"Why must you be here longer? You were leaving in 3 weeks anyway." Y/n slumps on the bed.

"If you must know Sebastian." She spits with a side eye at his typical rudeness. "Phineas has been following me around town, declaring his hideous undying love for me as per usual. Only now the towns people are shaming me for 'leading him on' and that I should just 'take the sad chap out of his misery' and return his affections. I mean isn't that insane! I just need a break from them." She pleads looking up at a stunned Sebastian.

"Aren't you - aren't you already in a romantic relationship with Phineas?" He mutters quitely. Horror crosses her face.

"Ew Merlin no! What makes you think that?!" Sebastian becomes sheepish at the realisation.

"It's just ... in our final year after we..." He looks off refusing eye contact. "Spent the night together. Phineas was bragging in the common room on how you two kissed earlier that very night and begging for him, and that you two were officially going steady..." He looks back at her blank face.

"All of these years we could've been together. We weren't. Because you believed pants of fire Phineas?" She asked blankly, a blush crossed Sebastians face.

"Well how was i suppose to know? You two were always together and he said-" An angry voice cuts him off.

"We were always together because the stupid prick would follow me everywhere like an unwanted cockroach!" She says dismissively. "Sebastian- do you understand how much love I had for you, do you know the heart break you put me through when you acted cold towards me the very next day?!" Angry tears pricked at your eyes, lips sealed shut refusing to speak another word.

Sebastian pulls you in gently as your face plants right into his comforting chest. "I'm sorry - I'm stupid." She huffs an agreement. "I thought my affections were not returned. I was so heart broken. I hated how my feelings for you never left. But now its all too late, and I could've been with you - had i just talked to you." She looks up from his chest.

"It'll make me feel better if you kiss me." She says shyly. He leans down and plants a gentle kiss on her lips, as if she would evaporate in his arms. "Again?" He turns his head and plants another gentle kiss. "Kiss me like you did that night?" He places his fingers behind her neck, rubbing his thumb along her jaw he presses his lips to her. She opens her mouth slipping her tongue in his mouth making him sigh in relief at the connection. Her nails drag down the back of his neck making him arch into her body.

She presses harder against him feeling his excitement. She breaks away from his mouth kissing down his neck to find that sweet spot she found all those years ago, he groans in satisfaction.

"I often think about having you again-" He claims as she trails her kisses down his torso. "More times than I care to count."

She places another kiss on his lips. "We only have 3 weeks until Anne returns. You have many years to make up for." She grins pressing harder into him.

[the-real-peterparker]

Peter, I owe you an apology—a real one. I don’t know if words can even cover it, but I need to try. I know I left you when you needed someone the most, and I can’t begin to tell you how much that’s been eating me up inside. I thought I was doing the right thing, staying away... but in reality, I was scared. I was afraid I’d hurt you, that I’d make things worse just by being around. I thought I was protecting you, but all I did was leave you alone when you needed someone there for you.

The truth is, I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt that weight—the kind that makes you feel like you’re sinking and you don’t know how to pull yourself out. And when I saw you going through it, it hit me hard. I didn’t know how to handle it, how to be there for you the way you needed. I thought distancing myself would somehow make it better for you, that my absence would give you room to breathe. But that was just me running from my own fear, from my own inability to deal with my shit.

It breaks my heart, kid, knowing I left you when things got bad. You deserved better from me. You deserved someone who could stand by you, not someone who ran because they were scared of their own damn shadow. I want you to know that none of this was your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who failed you. I should’ve been stronger, I should’ve been there when you needed someone the most. Instead, I let my fear get the better of me, and I ran.

I wish I could take it back. I wish I could go back and do it differently, be there for you like I should’ve been. You’re a good kid, Peter. You’ve got so much heart, so much strength, and the last thing you needed was someone walking away from you in your worst moments. But I did, and I’ll carry that regret with me for a long time.

I was scared, Peter. Scared of what I might do, scared of failing you. And in the end, I let that fear control me. But leaving you—leaving you when you were going through hell? That’s something I can never forgive myself for. I’m sorry, kid. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.

You deserved better, and I didn’t give you that. I can’t change what happened, but I need you to know I’m here now. I don’t want to run anymore. I don’t want to let fear get in the way of being there for the people I care about. I’m still scared—terrified, even—but I’m not going anywhere this time. I’m sorry I left you, Peter. I’ll spend as long as it takes making that right.

— @official-buckybarnes

well… sir… i appreciate you being honest with me. i understand why you felt like you needed to step back- fear can make us act in ways that don’t always help, and i get that. i’ve had my fair share of moments of pulling away too, thinking it was for the best, but it usually just ends up feeling worse. i get why you left, and i’m not holding it against you.

…it’s tough to admit when we’re scared. we both know what it’s like to think we’re protecting others by keeping our distance. it’s- i guess it’s just a rough cycle that just leaves everyone feeling alone.

but i don’t want you to keep feeling guilty about it. what’s done is done, and you made the choice you thought was right at the time. what matters to me now is that you’re here, and you’re not running away anymore. what i’m trying to say is that i trust that you’re in it for the long run this time, and that’s what counts.

and i know that we’ve both dealt with a lot, and there’s no need for either of us to be perfect. we just need to be here for each other i guess. i’m not expecting you to have all the answers, and i don’t need you to be anything other than yourself. i’ve got your back too man. and i know you’ll have mine too.

[cboffshore]

Well, less than twelve hours after wondering if I should make it: it's here, the official playlist for On Sea, Sunlight, and Sky! Cover art and everything, too.

Since Spotify doesn't allow track-by-track notes to be added, I've included commentary on each included song under the cut (as well as their names and artists so anyone who's not on Spotify can go look them up). If you're short on time, the most important thing to know is that order is not important here, as this is a rough collection of songs that either inspired or act as parallels to the series. You know, for when you want the energy of the fics without actually reading them.

Before the notes: here's the full cover art. I sourced all the illustrations from free art websites and Google listings, then edited them together and did some minor color correction in Sketchbook (on mobile, too!). I tried to go for a scrapbook style look, so I hand-cut each piece out with a rough eraser for a papery feel, then added text that I formatted in Canva, pulled the background out of, and textured.

Now: the tracklist and commentary!

"Escape Route" by Paramore: Given Nya's MO of GTFO throughout the series, I thought this would be a nice capstone track. I especially love the lines "Not quite a victory to run from your problems/But it's the only plan that I got, the only plan that I got" and "Where I'm going is everyone's story" in a meta kind of way. Where she's going - or trying to - is indeed this entire story.

"The Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Panic! At The Disco: Three out of four entries in OSSAS take their name from "Kaleidoscope Eyes," a bonus track from the same album as this one that's not on streaming services (although you can find it on YouTube). In the absence of the title track, I picked "Mona Lisa" for its ethereal opener and ominous guitar work. I also adore the line "A lonely speaker in a conversation/Her words are swimming through his ears again" for the prologue of IICT(OSC).

"Small Cuts" by The Brobecks: This is where "It Doesn't Take Much (To Cover Up Small Cuts)" takes its name from. I think the themes of covering up pain while wanting someone to acknowledge it works very well for that particular fic, but also for the series as a whole. My favorite OSSAS-ish line in this one is "She will leave you deaf and bewildered/Oh, how she floats like a butterfly, stings like a killer."

"Visitation Of The Ghost" by The Brobecks: From the same album as "Small Cuts," this is a delightfully spooky track (and if you want extra drama, go look up the "fancy studio version"). The second verse is especially relevant for reasons I'll try to articulate in the finale of this year's installment, if all goes well, so pay attention to that one ;)

"GLOOMTOWN BRATS" by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: This track brings us three for three on Dallon Weekes songs, and there's more where that came from! A brand-new release, this song is a panicky, funky track that acts as a nod towards Nya's canon distrust towards overblown luxury and Nadakhan's veneer of gentlemanly behavior.

"Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things To Do Today" by Fall Out Boy: It's loud, it's fast, it's snarky, it's bitter - this is a song to run away to. Take a look at that chorus, the chunk with the bridges and the piss, and tell me otherwise. This might be a personal thing, but the swell of the volume between the verses and the choruses makes me think of swooping ocean waves.

"Playing God" by Paramore: At its core, OSSAS is a power struggle. This song exemplifies that with its own hefty dose of Nya-aligned snark and poignant venting. I especially like the pairing of the lines "Next time you point a finger, I might have to bend it back or break it off/Next time you point a finger, I'll point you to the mirror" as a character analysis of both Nya and Nadakhan (as a bonus, this line will become very relevant in the IICT(OSC) finale - and not for the reasons you think).

"Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met...) by Panic! At The Disco: Another one from the album that kicked all this off, this is yet another spooky, dreamlike track, with an undercurrent of lost love and regret that serves Nadakhan especially well. (For him, I think it's fun to take the shouted "And I regret never letting you go!" out of the song's context for the IICT(OSC) opening sequence.)

"mirrorball" by Taylor Swift: Something a little softer and solidly out of the 2000s alt rock scene, this song works nicely for the introspective sections of the series, especially when it comes to how Nya processes her situation. For that, I really like the line "I'll show you every version of yourself tonight/I'll get you out on the floor" and the general quietness of the track.

"Look Who's Inside Again" by Bo Burnham: This one is pretty specific to IICT(OSC) and actually almost gave the fic its title! It ultimately didn't, but I think it's still a good fit. If I listed every line that fit the story, I'd be writing out the whole song, so do us both a favor and go play it once or twice.

"Hold Me Like A Grudge" by Fall Out Boy: Yet another snarky one that I particularly like for both Nya and as a tongue-in-cheek reference to Nadakhan's constant physical contact despite the fact that he's growing to resent her and his own failings (literally holding her like a grudge). Nya is nothing if not a "full-time problem". (Also: the bass line on this is incredible.)

"Carry On" by Coeur de Pirate: This song actually inspired the post-Seabound Nya fics I wrote a while back, so it's a Nya song to me now. In the context of the newest series installment, I love the line "The light of the sundowns/On my fate" as a little bit of foreshadowing.

"YES MOM" by Tessa Violet: This one is unadulterated independence, power posing, and self-confidence - that is, Nya every time she kicks off some new menace behavior. "Push me down and I bounce right back/Trampoline and it's in my past/Rising like a phoenix, making fire from the ash" is a FANTASTIC sequence for her, in both the context of her little successes in this series and her origin as Samurai X.

"The Carpal Tunnel Of Love" by Fall Out Boy: Surrealist Wentz lyricism at its best, I chose this one for the underlying themes of relationships that are apparently destined to never work (like the one Nya's trying to avoid) and the sheer energy. I especially like the Wentz screaming section in the middle, and the lyrics for that part are pretty relevant - although unintelligible, so you might want to just look them up and read them on your own.

"Say Amen (Saturday Night)" by Panic! At The Disco: The music video for this one inspired the combat sequence in IICT(OSC). Aside from that influence, I think the lyrics that swing from wild confidence to existential despair are a great fit for the tone of this series.

"bury a friend" by Billie Eilish: I love that this one opens with a series of questions that range from simply wondering what's wrong with someone to wondering about what happens after death. If that's not a fun fit for Nya's arc in this series (we'll get to the death thing eventually, don't worry), I don't know what is. Again, there's a nice sense of bitterness in here, as well as those ominous male backing vocals muttering "Careful" and echoing the lyrics here and there.

"Choke - Acoustic" by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: Both versions of this track are awesome, but I like the gentle, almost taunting creepiness of the acoustic style in this one. The entire song is about hating a place, which I think is appropriate given the fact that Nya's trapped with someone she hates for the first three fics on the timeline and with memories she hates for "Small Cuts." In IICT(OSC), she loosely considers burning the Temple down as a means of escape, but finds that she can't, which lines up beautifully with "If I could burn this town, I wouldn't hesitate/To smile while you suffocate and die." And, in true Weekes style, there's another little commentary against undeserved wealth that works nicely with Nya's disdain for her situation.

"Absinthe" by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: As of IICT(OSC), beverages are a major plot device, which plays nicely with 'Whatever they give you, stop drinking it down!" and the title of the track. If "Choke" is Nya's TLDR opinion of the situation, "Absinthe" is Nadakhan's - but we'll get to that in the finale.

"Modern Day Cain" by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: Last IDKHOW track for a while, I promise! And I hate that I keep saying the finale is going to make a lot of these make sense, but if it's true for one song, it's true for this one, which did inspire some of what I'm working on for the final confrontation.

"The Calendar" by Panic! At The Disco: This one is only here for the lines "There is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends" and "Anticipation's on the other line, and obsession called while you were out" as very thematically-appropriate lines. Also, a straight bop.

"Patches of Sky" and "Path of the Eclipse" by Coeur de Pirate from Child of Light: A little instrumental break, these are two of the pieces I keep on my default writing playlist. Ominous and optimistic in equal measure, I think these two fit OSSAS well.

"Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes" by Fall Out Boy: This one is an absolute goldmine of lines that could work for either of the series leads. For Nya, I really like the repeated "Boycott love! Detox just to retox!/And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life/Imperfect boys with their perfect ploys/Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy!" For Nadakhan, I like (well, not LIKE like, but I definitely think it works) the slightly stalkerish and somewhat paranoid "Little girl, you got me staring odd/Or was that just a telescopic camera nod?"

"Time To Dance" by Panic! At The Disco: This one is perfect in ways I can't articulate succinctly, although I do want to say I love the detached and kind of panicky sarcasm of the opener as a summary of the overall series mood: "Well, she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor just for the attention/'Cause that's just ridiculously odd/Well, she sure is gonna get it!" There's also some desperation in there that works very well for every failed escape attempt or revenge plot.

"Leave Me Alone - Piano Version" by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: Surprise, more IDKHOW! The lyrics on this one are pretty straightforward - read it as an insulting monologue being hurled at Nadakhan if you'd like. I chose this one for the lonely, vaguely-frightened vocals over the stripped-down piano backing.

"Boy Division" by My Chemical Romance: I like this one for its high energy and fight scene vibes, but most importantly, look at those lyrics - don't they read as someone lamenting a situation they put themselves into? I think that works well for what I've done and plan to do to Nadakhan in this year's installment and any future ones.

"To The End" and "It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Fucking Deathwish" by My Chemical Romance: Songs from Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge automatically get Skybound brownie points for all the gore and the wedding theme. "To The End" reads as a mockery of Nadakhan's marriage plot; "Deathwish" is a fun examination of resilience and, well, revenge - I adore the line "I'm taking back the life you stole/This hole you put me in wasn't deep enough, and I'm climbing out right now/You're running out of places to hide from me!" as a general summary of what Nya's doing the whole time.

"F.T.W.W.W." by My Chemical Romance: Again, excellent action sequence energy here; this is what flipping the bird would sound like if it made noise. In the context of Skybound and this series, I really appreciate the line "The heart you got, it ain't the one you need."

"Karma" by Taylor Swift: Listen, this entire series is an excuse to flip the script on Nadakhan and let Nya take a crack at the whole "read your enemies and then use their flaws to beat them to an emotional pulp" tactic, because frankly that's a cool narrative device. Here's where "Karma" works best: remember the line in "Wishmasters" where Nya, with little other comment, tells Nadakhan that he'll be sorry? That's this song. There's a sort of "I know you're about to get your ass beat" energy, a sort of wink wink from the singer that subtly pokes the subject with the knowledge that only one person here is in the right.

[petruchio]

i was on a plane but since i know everyone on here was obviously intensely and deeply curious about my thoughts on speak now tv i live blogged in my notes app and now i’ll simply paste my takes here:

Overall tv ranking to me is fearless = sn > red

Fearless improved on several tracks and gave us bye bye baby official (best vault track by a mile) but i still can’t listen to the new YBWM. Red tv massacred every pop track AND lost the raw emotion, so for me not a single song on red tv comes close to the originals. SN doesn’t make any of the songs actively worse (so overall it’s better than red), it’s just missing some of the rawness of the original and the vault tracks are all boring.

Best tracks (ones I would replay on purpose): speak now the song, the story of us (imo both of the songs that she seems to struggle with vocally on the og recordings so the melodies sound cleaner on the tvs)

There’s a really weird clip in the vocals in the original mine at 2:52 (I’ll/never leave you alone) that finally got fixed which scratches my brain. But the rhythm of the chorus sounds off in the re recording, like the emphasis is more on the off beat or something. She says like reMEMber instead of REmemeber. Not a big deal just noticeable to me. Mine is such a good song though like it’s crazy.

Speak now the song is legitimately superior to the original — it was always pitched a little high for her voice and she does the “hold” in the bridge like in the live recording and which I have always loved. (Aka she actually pronounced the H and the word sounds fuller) Always thought she sounded pitchy on the original recording anyway but the tour version is so good, so this is a good middle ground for me.

She sounds bored in some tracks. Like Dear John doesn’t have the same energy. (She’s probably embarrassed to sing “i loved you so” because in retrospect it’s like… yikes. But the og will always win for the intensity)

None of the vault tracks are knockouts and it’s pretty obvious why they were cut, bc like, they’re worse. Fearless tv still wins for best vault track (bye bye baby) and red for overall quality of the vault, this vault was such a let down tbh. Holding onto hope that the debut vault will give us good country taylor back, bc this vault just … didn’t do it for me. Sorry

I miss nathan chapmans backing vocals, no shade to the guy she has doing the tv backing vocals but he was very present on speak now and his absence is notable imo

Production seems more subdued. Like i miss the LOUD guitars on the original dear John. Vocals are more forward in the mix in almost all the songs which sounds cleaner but just not as messy/raw (backing vocals on mean are quieter in the end for example)

“Pathetic” does not hit the same on the new mean.

Idc about the better than revenge lyric change, and especially because it’s about a real person (vs misery business which is just like, a song) (I always say btr was her attempt at her own version of misery business, the problem is that it’s about a real person that was very easy to pin it to) but i wonder if it kind of Streisand effect-s the original song. But overall I think changing it is a net positive, esp bc the original line was so insanely out of pocket for the situation.

That said the vintage dresses line doesn’t sound as sassy. Also “cause you’re so much better” is one of the funniest lines she ever wrote and in tv she just doesn’t sound as mad, which makes sense, but the original will always be funnier because of the anger she uses in her bitchy interpolation of a Jonas brothers song — nothing will ever be so iconic.

Better than revenge -> innocent on the track list is completely insane 13 years on. Like there’s so much venom aimed at a relatively random girl and such a sweet song for … Kanye west. Like huh. Innocent remains a great song though if you can divorce it from the muse.

Why did we have to do haunted like that… turn the echo down HAHA Might be the first time I’ve ever heard the “terribly wrong” line instead of “totally wrong” which I heard wrong since the first time I listened to the song.

We also got the tour vocals on the last “i just know” in haunted call that a WIN.

Last kiss suffers like dear John, just missing the emotion of the original.

Final chorus of long live just doesn’t build the same, but overall the recording is good. But the drums just don’t sound as strong so it doesn’t feel as exciting.

I guess i should’ve expected the vault to be mediocre bc speak now always did have the worst bonus tracks (superman still ranks as one of my least favorite songs… it just never needed to be released in any official capacity)

Overall I feel more positively toward the album itself than I do to red tv, im just disappointed the vault isn’t better. Im not one of those people who is obsessed with let’s go battle (it’s kind of juvenile lyrically but the melody is good) but like why leave that one unreleased if these were the other options lol. Anyway I like foolish one but the rest of the vault is either clunky or boring i said what i said!!

Fearless tv you will always be famous! Speak now tv you win for the best photo shoot and for not having anything as offensively bad as WANEGBT TV.

[dayshipper]

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

First of all, it looks like we were right with the whole Kiara gets kidnapped theory. I was just thinking that because s1 and 2 took place in such a short time, they might use the time that Kiara is taken to elongate the overall time span of the series. She has a few outfit changes while shes with them, so it seems like she's going to be there for a while.

What's that saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I think we can absolutely bet on JJ having many moments where he outwardly shows just how much he cares for her while she is gone. He is going to be one sad little boy and I am HERE FOR IT 😅😭. I think at some point while she is kidnapped they travel elsewhere and if that's the case, I have this theory that JJ gets anxious thinking that he is moving further away from her rather than towards her. Just a thought. He won't be able to hide his distress from the others so well this season. I mean, look what he got up to when he thought John B was dead. He was drinking at school, got fired and then when he found out that he was in jail, he almost when to jail himself! So I think it's safe to say that JJ is not going to take this very well. I think Kiara being kidnapped is the final straw that will make him properly recognise that his feelings for her go beyond friendship. The ANGST potential is *chefs kiss*

Meanwhile with Kie, when she finally gets rescued, JJ will be the one she sees first and runs to. I think it will somehow be made known to her just how much JJ has done up until that point to rescue her. Their reunion hug will be her moment to realise just how much JJ means to her because she will know the lengths that he has gone to to save her. It looks like he is the first one to reach her.

Cos this still looks like they are all running after him to reunite with her. And imagine what they're thinking seeing them embrace like they never want to let each other go 😭 if the others don't cop on to this, I will riot. Imagine their faces when they finally pull apart, they're going to look all soft for each other UGH

And don't even get me started on this whole situation.

Even if they don't kiss and they get interrupted or it turns into a hug, I don't care because LOOK AT THEM!! The more angst the better in my opinion. It's happening!! It's officially canon there is no denying it!!

The only thing I'm worried about now is that they'll leave s3 on a cliffhanger that I will not be able to live with. S2's cliffhanger wasn't so intense for me and kind of wrapped up quite nicely. I mean, I was still going insane but at least everybody was together and they looked happy where they left them so I hope it's not going to be too bad this time around! This is all I can take for now. I'll be back later with more I'm sure! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[originalpackersandmoversblog]

12 Hacks to make your relocation hassle-free with movers and packers!

Home relocation is a complex and burdening process, regardless of the fact that you have been doing it for the 50th time or for the first time. Every time you do it, you regret it unless you have connected with Agarwal packers and movers to seek assistance. They offer a complete range of packing and moving services to meet almost all kinds of shipments whether it is a domestic, international, car, pets, or any other.

Besides this many of you might fail while executing a move, the reason behind is the absence of planning and organization of the moving tasks. So, here today in this article, I am sharing a few effective hacks that will certainly make your relocation a healthy affair.

Here it goes:

Make notes

Relocation has numerous tasks and responsibilities attached to it which at times lets you forgot few important tasks that you need to perform therefore, to keep the record and make sure that you forgot nothing start taking notes. Write each thing and maintain a computerized record as it will help you keep things much safer in comparison to taking notes in a diary. Also, papers can be lost that may give you a headache.

Sort the articles out

Make a list of the items that you wish to take along, discard, sell out. Avoid adding any extras in your list as it will ultimately cover larger space in the transportation vehicle along with few extra expenses. Therefore, keep the size of the consignment limited.

Create a budget

Get the idea of the moving expenses online if you are moving for the first time, you may be aware in case you have moved your home earlier. Frame a budget based on the same and make sure you have adequate funds available otherwise it is recommended to arrange them beforehand.

Start planning further

Secondly, finalize your destination place and know the rules and regulations of the country or state you are planning to settle in. This will help you to easily cope up at a new place with all regards.

Moving your beloved pets

If you have any pet and want to take it along with you at your new place then you must go through the rules and regulations applicable in that particular country. Also, consult the specialists before finalizing your decision to relocate your pet along.

Collect essential documents

Before leaving your older place, do not forget to collect your prescriptions, certificates, your kid’s documents from their school, and other essential papers. Keep them in a separate folder that you will be carrying along all the while.

Book a professional

To make sure that you experience a successful move, look for moving experts. Search for various companies online and shortlist at least two companies that you think are best amongst them.

Tips to opt for the right company:

Gather as much as information you can by surfing through the official websites of both the companies.

Check ratings and read reviews posted by other customers.

Keep an eye on their social media platforms and read the comments posted by people.

Ensure they have proper licensing and certifications.

Know about the services along with the prices that they charge for offering them.

Inspect the transportation vehicles and check what all safety amenities they have enabled for their customers.

Know about the customer support offered.

Keep an eye on the cost computation techniques along with the factors considered.

After, the examination has been completed for both the companies from your side ask for the price quotations from both of them according to the articles that you want to move. Later, opt for the one which you think completely fits in your budget.

 8. Decide your moving day

Consider all the relevant factors such as verify from your workplace, talk to your family members, and then finalize a final date to relocate. After deciding, inform the same to your moving partners so that they can make the preparations accordingly.

Notify utilities

Utility services such as gas, water, electricity, internet, etc play a major role while relocating, thus do not forget to inform you about your moving plan to the service providers. Ask them to cancel the subscriptions with effect from the decided day to relocate.

Get the address updated

Once your new residence is finalized, get that address updated at all the places including banks and other legal documents. Also, let your relatives know about your new house.

Keep a check at your new place

After you have completed all the tasks related to your move there is still something essential that has been left behind and that thing is the condition of the new home in which you are planning to settle. Have you checked the arrangements there yet? If no then you must keep an eye on the arrangements and another important stuff present there. Try to speak to the service providers there to get the gas, water, internet, electricity, and other connections. Make sure you got these facilities before time. This will help you make things simpler for you as well as your family.

Throw a farewell

Once all the tasks have been completed by you throw a farewell party for your near and dear ones. Plan it before your moving day as it will give you a long-lasting effect of fun and entertainment.

Take a final home tour and re-examine everything once again, look into every room because a single mistake can cause huge destruction to your overall shifting plan. If you are confused then it is better to seek help from any of your family members or friend who have some kind of moving experience in his/her past life.

These 12 simple tips and appointment of Agarwal Packers can do wonders for your move. Just be smart and make the right decisions while you relocate.

Happy Moving!

[7-ratsinatrenchcoat]

you motherfucker

Zeldris still didn't think the castle was the same anymore. Everyone else had put away their grief, moved on, forgotten. Everyone except him, that is.

Even his brother had pushed away the ugly mess of tears and grief to keep working. The end of the Holy War wouldn't come any faster without him, after all. Zeldris knew it was necessary, that what he was doing was Good and Important and much more so than anything he could do, but on a deeper level he knew it wasn't real. All of this was for some bigger game their father was playing- in her absence, Meliodas just became the most promising piece on the board.

His mother's funeral was three weeks ago.

The service was fit for the Demon Queen, but it felt like something was missing. There was nothing to denote that it was her, and not someone else wearing her crown. None of her family was there, the only image was her official portrait, and all the stories they heard were about her as a queen. Nothing about her as a person, about who she was behind closed doors. Who their mother became when their father wasn't looking.

None of them would ever know how smart she was, that she had an insatiable passion for magical science, a love of books and knowledge of all kinds, and that she always had space in her office and a moment of time for someone in need. They would never know that she passed all of this on to her sons, but it was only visible when Meliodas would purposefully distract the others on a mission to give someone else his rations, or when Zeldris would disappear for hours or days at a time into the library after encountering anything he couldn't intimately explain.

His mother had been many things. The one that came to mind in this moment was gentle.

"I can do it," he snapped at the handmaid outside his door. She looked unconvinced, but Zeldris didn't care. He needed her to go away so he could cry and calm down and then figure out how to brush his hair. "We don't have that much time, your highness," she explained thinly. "If you would just let me-"

Zeldris jerked away and slammed the door, taking some sick satisfaction in how she had to yank her hand away at the last minute. She'd been trying to brush his hair all morning after instead of taking the three seconds to carefully pull apart the knot, readjusted her grip on the brush and pulled.

His scalp still hurt where she did it. He would have been fine if she just warned him even a second beforehand, but the surprise that came with the pain just made it worse. He made himself unclench his fists and drop his shoulders, breathing deeply in the empty room.

There were two facts that needed to be dealt with. One, his hair really was a mess. Two, he couldn't fix it by himself, and asking for a handmaid was out of the question. Who did that leave, who he could trust to do it right?

His mom would have done it right the first time.

The aching spike of grief in his chest made him furiously blink back tears. He didn't have time to cry, and his mom- wasn't here. Think of someone else.

Meliodas got back from his most recent mission last week. He'd be in his room, getting ready by himself, because he thought it was easier than dealing with all the drama surrounding the handmaids. Zeldris was quickly realizing he might be onto something. Maybe he'd be willing to help.

Before he could second-guess himself, Zeldris grabbed his brush and pushed open the door. He'd never been more grateful to see an empty hallway in his life. He let his mind wander as he navigated the stone halls, muscle memory leading him to his brother's door.

He only took a moment to steel himself before knocking twice on the door, anxiety sending adrenaline through his veins when he heard muffled cursing inside. "I thought I told you to leave me the fuck alone-" Meliodas snapped before opening the door, the anger on his face quickly dropping into confusion and then realization as Zeldris stood silently in front of him, petrified. The younger demon pulled himself out of it, already turning to leave with tears of shame burning his eyes-

"Wait- shit, Zel, come back," his brother rushed. "I thought you were someone else." Zeldris shrugged and mumbled something about it'sfinedon'tworryi'llfigureitoutsorry. Meliodas sighed and grabbed his hand before he could leave, holding fast when Zeldris tried to pull free. "Don't be like that, you obviously came here for something," he sighed tiredly. "Spit it out, I'm listening."

"I-" Zeldris hesitated. How exactly does one say 'I really miss our mom and you're the closest thing I have to a responsible adult figure in my life so please brush my hair and don't hurt me'? Eh, the truth usually worked as an approximation.

"Ihavetogetreadyforthisstupidballthingwehavetogotobutthemaidwhodidmyhairwasreallymeanandshehurtmeandireallyjustwantedmomtodoitbutshe'snothereanymorebutistillcan'tbrushmyhairaloneso help please?" he offered quickly, speaking so fast even he barely understood the words coming out of his mouth. He offered the brush out in front of him, hoping Meliodas got the point. The older demon blinked for a minute before visibly relaxing.

"Sure, I can do your hair. Come here, idiot, why didn't you just say so?"

The familiar banter between them was a soothing constant, one that looked like bickering to any outsider but flowed like normal conversation to the pair. Meliodas gestured for him to sit in front of the floor-length mirror, crossing his legs and settling in behind him. "You should have just come here first," he grumbled with no real malice. "The stupid handmaids never do anything right. They think just because there's no internal head of state they can do whatever the hell they want. Just come here next time, okay? They know better than to fuck with me."

The invitation was there, under carefully brash words and insults. I'm sorry that happened. I care that you were hurt. I miss Mom too. I love you.

"Fine, maybe I will," Zeldris huffed back. I miss you when you're not here. I don't want to be alone. Please don't leave me too. I love you too.

As Meliodas dragged the brush through his jet-black hair, Zeldris found himself releasing a deep-held breath whenever he took the time to pick apart a knot rather than yank it out. Eventually, it was smooth enough that the repetitive glide created a peaceful silence between them, broken only by the occasional passing comment or joke.

The moment was broken soon enough when Meliodas looked out the window and cursed at how low the sun had set. "We're definitely late now," he groaned, "Chandler's gonna be pissed." The reminder of Zeldris' own handler and the cold, disappointed stare that would greet him that night made him tense up. The sudden change didn't escape his brother's notice, though. "I mean, it was my fault, so I can't really complain," he admitted aloud, counting on the goosebumps on his neck that his father heard. Zeldris tugged on his hand sharply, glaring at the older demon. He's listening, the stare told him. Meliodas just shrugged.

I know.

And when Cusack commented on how nice his hair looked when he "finally put some effort into your appearance", he took a moment of pride both for himself and for his brother.

(He wasn't supposed to be looking when Chandler took a bruising grip to his brother's arm and dragged him out of the room. He wasn't supposed to look too long when he came back with shaking hands, subtly cradling his lower ribs with a guarded arm. He didn't raise one eyebrow and silently offer to heal it when neither of the Handlers were looking. He didn't react when Meliodas whispered back, "He likes to see the bruises." Even if it made him nauseous to hear. Even though he knew their father would punish them again later.)

So many people came up to him and said, You look just like your mother. They were the reason that as the night continued, he drifted closer and closer to his brother's side. He didn't want to hear about how similar they were. They didn't really know her, they didn't get to talk about his mom. Meliodas always kept one hand free in case he needed to grab it- and multiple times, he did. In return, he stood on the side he'd been guarding (where chandler hit him, that fucking bastard) to better conceal it. They coexisted that way, hardly speaking to each other but communicating nevertheless.

As the guests trickled out and the boys were finally excused, Meliodas stopped him before they parted ways again. "I'm serious, just come straight to my room next time, I don't mind. Besides," he paused to ruffle Zeldris' hair, bits of it falling in his face. "It's fun for both of us."

He was left in the hallway, simultaneously missing the warmth of his brother's hand and practically ecstatic for the next time he'd feel it.

I hc that when Meliodas and zeldris where younger Meliodas would always make it a point to do Zeldris’s hair. Not even just for formal events but he would always make time to brush Zeldris’s hair not only because they both enjoyed it but it also gave them a chance to spend time together without being disturbed.

And they always looked forward to it zeldris especially, he would wait until the maids where gone saying he could do it himself before running to Meliodas’s room and letting him do it. He didn’t trust anyone but Meliodas to do it because only Meliodas knew how he liked it.

Meliodas also really enjoyed it because he absolutely loved getting to spend time with his little brother even though their father didn’t approve of it and would often punish them if he found out neither of them cared and would still do it anyways

Even now they both still enjoy it as often times when zeldris visits Meliodas will brush Tristan’s hair before bed. But of course zeldris never outright says he wants Meliodas to do his hair especially not infront of the others (he would rather die then say that out loud)

So usually he ends up just watching from the side with yearning eyes before looking away often berating himself for being jealous of Meliodas brushing Tristan’s hair. But Meliodas knows his brother all to well and can see the glances zeldris is giving them which brings a smile to his face. Once he’s done with Tristan and sends him to bed he’ll wait to make sure everyone’s gone before motioning zeldris over with a knowing smile.

Causing zeldris to blush out of embarrassment for having been caught by his older brother before finally huffing and giving in and sitting in the same spot Tristan did and letting Meliodas do his hair. Causing Meliodas to laugh before they both become relaxed and fall into the same routine as they had when they were little.

[yesimwriting]

hiii, this might seem weird but do u have any head cannons for when the reader is pregnant and how the Darkling would react?

a/n love this concept,, it's not weird at all!! i feel like there's so much here!! also i leave for college this month and im lowkey starting to freak out so ive been watching star wars movies for comfort 😭and now i have half a mind to write for them, especially the prequels (cough, cough,, anakin) 😭 😭 that should tell you where i am mentally

anyways lets get into the headcanons:))

--

- okay so like most of my headcanons, this is probably going to be all over the place bc i feel like so many different things could change how he would react. Like if the darkling x reader have been trying to get pregnant, or an unplanned pregnancy with someone he really likes, i also think whether or not the reader is a grisha affects his reaction too

- in general though, i think he'd lowkey have a breeding kink he'd def find something about the thought of you having his child really attractive bc for one thing, he wouldn't have to worry about being left alone and now he has an excuse to be a real 'protector'.

- also if youve read my other headcanons i am 100000% convinced that he has this thing where if he really likes someone he needs them to need him (let's all remember the whole 'i will strip you of everything you know and love speech until I'm your only shelter' speech he gave to Alina)

- also i kinda want to write a fic or blurb series or something that's just the darkling being super toxic in super thoughtful ways LMAO if that makes sense, like he's being super sweet but it's to make sure the reader is dependent on him

- and he def wants to be the protector to give himself some sense of assurance bc he's so desperate to not be alone anymore and bc the reader is the only person he has/loves, he wants to feel in control and like he's the less attached one

- okay,, let's get back to the pregnancy thing, anyways, your pregnancy is most definitely activating all of those senses and this was meant to be a sub plot but it kind of became it's own thing lol

- so lets get to the actual pregnancy reaction

if you two have been trying to get pregnant:

- when you tell him, he kind of like, pauses bc it's not every day that he gets surprised so it takes him a moment to register that he's experiencing shock lol, so he tenses and goes islent

- and then after he realizes that he's surprised and that it's bc of a good thing, he manages to relax

- meanwhile you're kind of freaking out bc he got so quiet?? you start to wonder if he's regretting ever wanting a child with you? and you're like two seconds away from a downspiral and then he...

- he touches your cheek and looks at you in a way you've never seen him look at anyone,, not even you

- the look is so warm and strong and full of fierce admiration that you feel foolish for ever thinking he didn't want this. And then he says something about how you're carrying his child and how he didn't realize he could adore you more and then he kisses you and it's all :)) warm:)

- he doesn't want anyone to know that he's expecting a child as long as possible bc of how many enemies he has and how he has to worry about you enough when people just know that you're his 'lover' (a title you never really liked, but one he tells you is necessary to make sure no one realizes the extent of his attachment)

- if you really want to tell your mother or someone of that relation, he won't be mad about it, but he just needs to know

- Genya is the only exception bc the darkling basically instructs her to look out for you,, but when you tell her she's like oh?? you guys just found out?

- miss girl most definitely noticed like a day and a half ago after you cried bc she couldn't find you ice cream the other night 😭and she just assumed you knew but weren't ready to tell anyone

- okay so this what i think is his most problematic expecting father trait would be. So i just ranted about how important secrecy would be to him but he's also the most overprotective person in the entire world,, like he was bad before but once he knows your with child?? yeah, if a man asks you about the weather, he's done for

- he's next to you in a second, ordering either you or the man to do some asinine task

- if you get mad about this (rightfully so) or even just point out how nothing is wrong and you having a casual conversation with a man who isn't even looking at you sexually won't hurt you or the baby, he'll lose rationality

- it depends on how much you push, but it'd be super easy to make him super possessive bc like i said, being bonded by a child has made him so much more intense (and he was pretty intense before)

- and if you push too much he'll lowkey forget about how cautious he's trying to be with you and pin you against the nearest wall and say something along the lines of 'are you already forgetting you're mine? that i own you, body and soul--is my child growing in you not enough of a reminder? because i'll give you another one if you need it.' (AH--i want to write a whole fic based on this line)

- also if the reader is grisha, especially if she's a sun summoner/special grisha like him, he def talks about the power that they've created and how proud he already is and how he can't wait to train together and be the most powerful family in the world

- not everything is perfectly happy though, bc now he feels more pressure to complete his plan and establish the world he wants his child to be born into

- so sometimes when he's working extra hard or is extra aggressive for no reason, you have to work at calming him down and reminding him that the best thing he can do for his child is be there for them (and the child's mother,, lol)

- sometimes he'll respond by actually listening to you and trying to make up for his absence or his aggression by being extra soft until you finally forgive him

- you never last that long, it's hard to be mad at him when he's coddling you and whispering such sweet things about he's so happy to have you and your future child

- overall, his first reaction is to swell with emotion, which he isn't used to, and so he becomes super protective but also extra lovey and you know that his overreactions are just him trying to show that he cares about you and your future child more than anything

If the pregnancy was unplanned:

- the initial reaction is pretty similar, only his state of shock lasts longer

- like i said at the beginning, he's not used to being surprised and an accidental pregnancy is so much more surprising than a planned pregnancy

- this really sucks for you bc he's not exactly known for his patience so you just kinda sit there and genuinely wonder if you're going to be a single mom or if you're going to want to deletus the fetus or something

- but then he takes a step towards you and you see how he's looking at you and you just know that that fierceness has to mean something good

- and at this point you're scared and nervous and feel so alone so tears are pricking at your eyes,, so he wipes his thumb across your cheek to wipe away tears you won't let spill

- he then whispers something really sweet about how you two are now together forever, as you should be

- it's really relieving bc you felt so alone and uncertain and he's such a smooth speaker that by the end of the night, you feel like this is a good thing

- if youre still hesitant/weighing your options, he's not above trying to (gently) manipulate you into thinking that what he wants may be the only way

- by that,, i don't mean outright tricking you bc he means everything he says, but he def is pushing the keeping the baby agenda,, especially if you're a grisha,, and even more so if you're a grisha with similar power levels to him

- he won't get angry at first bc he's not so out of touch that he's unaware of how shocking a pregnancy is to a woman who wasn't planning one,, but his patience is limited and if you fight it too much he will get mad and yell

- but unless you really don't want to have a child, it won't get to that bc he makes the idea of having a baby with him sound so perfect?? like you genuinely don't understand how he did that

- he chases away all of your worries and assures you that youre not alone and that even though it isn't planned he wouldn't rather anyone else carry his child

- the initial conversation would probably end in you two sleeping together again bc he finds the fact that you're carrying his child so attractive and bc being aware of the pregnancy makes him more possessive

- it's also a good way to fight any of your doubts

- speaking of being possessive though,, i feel like he could be a little more possessive/protective of a reader who didn't plan on getting pregnant bc your relationship has been less established

- no one sees you as anything to him and he doesn't want to start rumors now bc it's important to him that his enemies don't find out about you or his future child so he doesn't want that to change

- but he almost forgets about all of those reasons each time he sees a man get a little too close,, especially if that guy is flirty

- it takes all of his will power to not just go 'she's mine and if i wasn't worried about the stress that witnessing something violent would cause our unborn child, you'd be dead already, but if you're not gone by the time i turn around, i'll forget about caution'

- lots of close calls ngl!! at one point youre like 'if it bothers you so much, maybe you should tell someone??' and he's like 'no,, maybe,, shut up' and then you raise one eyebrow and he just closes his mouth and is like 'i mean,, i'll kiss you to shut you up, haha--dont be mad'

- youre the one that's pregnant but sometimes you think he might be the one experiencing the mood swings i swear 😭

- so your little theory gets tested,, he's not the type to gossip with his besties and be like 'guess who's officially my girlfriend, i knocked her up but it's not like it sounds--'

- so he's like ig you can tell genya

- once again genya is like ?? yall thought you were keeping that secret? couldn't be me

- but having it a little out in the open helps ease him just enough that youre actually capable of consoling him when he becomes jealous

- still though,, he's quick to go into possessive/pregnancy kink sex

- youre most def not mad about it,, unless pregnancy has you particularly sore

- he's normally pretty understanding about that and def doesn't mind pulling his weight in the bedroom when he needs

- honestly he'd be really good at being a source of calmness at the beginning, but as time goes on he becomes more and more worried about finishing his plans bc he didn't expect to have a child right now

- so he'd be more adamant about working/becoming more tense and would be more difficult to console if it was an accidental pregnancy

- when you call him out on it--or on anything while your pregnant--it's frustrating for you both bc the number one thing everyone knows is stress is bad for baby, so he's trying to keep you calm without backing down

- these argument always end with one of you clinging to the other,, and then the more angrier of the two just like shuts up, rolls their eyes, and lets go of the argument...at least for now

- the main difference between an accidental and intentional pregnancy would probably be how you perceive him,, bc an intentional pregnancy means youve talked about things but since you havent talked about anything your shocked about how soft he becomes ??

[venusiangguk]

may we see the fight tae oc scene pls pls please!!! u can delete later🤔🤔🤔🤔😳😳😳😳 i’m really curious. i mean ofc u don’t have to. still 😧🙃

idealizations concerning real life relations: deleted scene

>>pairing: jungkook x reader / icrlr!couple

>>genre: fwb, angst, rated PG

>>word count: 2.5k

>>warnings: alcohol, implied smut

>>notes: this is a deleted scene from icrlr, that i omitted simply because of the length of the final fic!! feel free to skip or ignore, it doesn't change anything, but since u guys are curious about it, i'll post it as a lil ty for helping me hit that milestone <3 it takes place after the tattoo party scene, and before the lecture scene.

this does NOT provide an alternative ending.

>>summary: taehyung tries to make you see things for what they really are, but it's hard to see through the rose colored glasses.

Winter break has been long awaited and it is finally, finally here. The snow has coated the ground thick, making the town look like a winter wonderland. The air is sharp and cold but not to a miserable extent. Just chilly enough to bundle up, to hold a hand a little tighter and soak up their warmth.

Your favorite season is fall, but the later months are a close second. You love seeing the way everyone’s faces get red when snow flurries come down to kiss their nose and cheeks. Love the way pom poms bounce atop little hats as children play and have snowball fights. Winter is surprisingly one of the warmest, sweetest times of the year. Like the hot coco Jeongguk has been swapping your regular macchiato with lately.

There’s a greatly anticipated party tonight- a mashup of Taehyung’s birthday and New Year’s Eve. Anticipated for the simple fact that said birthday boy has steadily been ignoring you for weeks, and tonight was a night where he couldn’t evade your attempts of reconciliation. He hasn’t returned a single call or even sent a text back. You can’t even be mad at him really, you know it’s justified. You know you fucked up. The coffee date you had with Yoongi last week let you know what you did.

Over an iced coffee, you learned that you had unintentionally skipped out on your best friend's Winter Showcase. The important one that he mentioned multiple times. The one you promised to attend no matter what.

It wasn’t on purpose; you wanted to go, to support him. But you just got caught up. In life, in school, in Jeongguk. It happens.

When Yoongi asked you why you had missed it, when he told you how hurt Taehyung was by your absence, your heart dropped, sank deep within your chest as your mouth fell open before closing, a small pursed frown on your lips. You didn’t have a good excuse. You went to get tattoos with Jeongguk and then to a party where you fucked him, and then home after that? You were too tired to make it? You just simply forgot? Those excuses weren’t good enough for you and you knew they wouldn’t be good enough for Taehyung.

Whereas Yoongi was okay with distance, long periods in between hanging out and talking, Taehyung wasn’t. He was the kind of friend that needed support, reassurance that you cared. He liked quality time and hangs outs that were planned ahead so he could look forward to them. He was looking forward to you being at his showcase.

The party is packed, even more so than usual. Students, drop-outs, alumni, and randoms alike, all congregate to bring in the new year, to celebrate the end of finals, and a certain art majors birthday. Bodies are on bodies, music is loud and deafening. Cups, bottles, and small baggies litter the floor and the smell of weed is nauseating.

Jeongguk’s hand in yours is sweet, though. Enough to ebb the distaste in your mouth as you watch the stereotypical disaster that is a college party.

“I’m going to go find the drinks, okay?” you lie, squeezing Jeongguk’s hand lightly.

He squeezes back, kisses the side of your head as he says, “Bring me one back too?”

You nod, and slip out of his view. Scanning the crowd until you see a familiar face.

Jimin is laughing, red cup in his hand, eyes curled and happy. He’s sitting on the arm of a couch, legs swinging as he laughs with a group of people. He takes a drink from his cup and let’s his eyes roam the room like he’s looking for someone.

The way his face changes when he sees you approaching is like a punch in the gut. It goes from happy, and carefree to stony- only a small, irritated, close-lipped smile on his face. Eyes harsh and cold, no longer holding the mirth they were just seconds ago. He says nothing when you step in front of him, he just looks you over like he’s bored and waiting for you to get on with it so he can be done with it.

You shift on your feet under his scrutiny. “Where’s Tae?” you ask.

Jimin narrows his eyes at you and tilts his head. “Now you want to know where he is? Haven’t been concerned with his whereabouts for months. Definitely weren’t worried about it last week.”

You wince but carry on swiftly. “Listen, I know I fucked up. I’m here to apologize.” You look at him expectantly, but he holds his ground. When he doesn’t falter, you resort to begging, “Please, Jimin. He’s my best friend… I miss him.”

You must look pitiful, because Jimin’s indifferent facade fades, and he clicks his tongue like he’s annoyed at himself for giving into you. “He’s getting us drinks in the kitchen.”

A smile takes over your face as you rush out a ‘thank you’, quickly turning on your heel to head in the opposite direction, before Jimin calls after you.

“Yeah?” you ask, looking over your shoulder at him.

“If he’s your best friend, maybe treat him like it, yeah?”

You continue to the kitchen without replying, and you can’t help the little simmer of annoyance that bubbles in your chest. Taehyung has been your best friend for years. And even though Jimin had a point, who was he to tell you anything about yours and Taehyung’s friendship?

Before the thought can fester, however, you see the boy you came looking for, two bottles of vodka in his hand like he’s trying to decide which to use. You see the little party hat atop his shaggy hair before anything else and your heart aches a little. You really did miss him. He lets out a small annoyed sound, and knowing him, he’s probably trying to figure out which has the highest alcohol percentage. You come up next to him, and say his name gently. He jumps, but when he realizes it’s you, the ghost of a smile curls on his lips like he’s happy to see you.

Until it’s replaced with resentment just as quickly. His sharp eyes squint at you before turning back to the bottles in his hands, scowl still in place.

“So you decided you could pencil me in between getting your heart toyed with and your back blown out?” He gives you a side glance and sees how your jaw drops in surprise. He carries on, unbothered. “Or did this just work out because it coincides with New Year’s and because he was invited? Only because he’s Jimin’s friend might I add.”

“Tae-” you try, doing your best to keep the hurt whine out of your tone.

“Save it, __. I don’t want to hear the excuses you have. Just-” he looks at you again, and you think that maybe he softens when he sees your crestfallen features. He sighs like he’s tired. “Just leave me alone. Just for a bit, okay? I’ll get over it eventually,” he finishes, finally deciding on the vodka he wants.

You know his request isn't unreasonable. But it’s already been so long that the distance in your friendship has been eating away at it, that you’re scared ‘eventually’ might take too long and by the time he comes around, there won’t be much of a friendship left. That the damage done, will be irreparable.

“Tae… It’s already been months, can’t we-”

Like night and day, the softness that you were able to pull out of him is immediately replaced with that resentment and anger you were met with when you first stepped into the kitchen.

“Yeah,” he seethes, strong brows furrowed. “And whose fault is that?”

His words are sharp and the sting from them makes you take a step back. That is, until you feel anger of your own creep up your throat like venom. “You’re one to talk, Taehyung. You could have reached out to me, too. You’re no better than me when you’re in a relationship.”

He groans, gives an exasperated laugh before shrugging. “You know what? Maybe I am just as bad as you, but at least I’m actually in a relationship,” he spits, “You’re just fucking someone that doesn’t give a fuck about you.”

You know he’s hurt because of the distance. That he doesn’t intend to be so mean. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less, and it doesn’t stop the angry tears from pooling in your eyes.

And although you’re angry, almost shaking with rage at the feeling of being cornered and blamed, your heart aches at hearing his words.

Jimin, who started seeing Taehyung after you started seeing Jeongguk, had already made your friend official. Had given him the title, the commitment, the relationship that you had been patiently and understandingly waiting for with Jeongguk. The bitterness that bleeds into your heart makes you feel gross and ugly.

You know what they say; that labels are superficial and don’t mean that much. But when you don’t have them? It makes you wonder. If a label really isn’t that important, like everyone says, why is Jeongguk so reluctant to give one to you?

“Jimin’s your boyfriend?” you whisper.

Taehyung gives you a short nod. “Month and half ago. You would’ve known if you got your head out of Jeongguk’s ass.”

Almost like he was summoned, the topic of debate waltz into the room, coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. He nuzzles into your neck.

It’s instinctual now, the way your body responds to him. The way you melt into his chest like second-nature, how your hands settle over his like they are keeping them in place. How immediately in his presence you feel calmer; the panicky, hurt feeling you were experiencing moments ago vanishing as if it were just a fleeting thought and not something that’s always in the back of your head.

Not in a possessive, ‘I need him to be mine’ kind of way, though.

More like, ‘Why won’t he be mine?’

“Hi,” he murmurs into your neck.

“Hi, baby,” you respond softly, out of habit. The room shirks around you whenever he’s near. Makes you feel like you’re in your own bubble with him.

Jeongguk’s about to reply, ask where the drinks are, but then he hears an annoyed scoff sound in front of you both. Jeongguk bristles as he looks up and sees Taehyung taking a big swig from his cup.

“Uh- am I interrupting? Should I go?” he asks hesitantly, looking between you and your friend.

“No-” you say at the same time that Taehyung says, “Yes.”

You cringe, and turn in Jeongguk’s arms, hands resting on his chest. “Just give me a couple more minutes okay? I’ll bring the drinks.”

Jeongguk searches your eyes, before looking at Taehyung one last time before giving you a stern nod and a quick kiss.

You turn back to Taehyung, ready to apologize for Jeongguk’s interruption, when he talks over you.

“You’re pathetic,” he starts, and you roll your eyes with an irritated sigh before he continues, “but I know you love him. And that you can’t help it,” he shrugs. “But as your friend, I have to tell you that it’s not going to end well. You probably don’t even need me to tell you that. You probably already know and are choosing to ignore it for the sake of the delusions you’ve made up in your ‘pretty little head’.”

You pout at him quoting you, and your brows furrow. “He cares about me. And he’s Jimin’s best friend. He’s a good person, you don’t even know him,” you argue defensively. Though you know your arguments make little sense and are flimsy at best.

Taehyung frowns. Pauses like he’s thinking.

“I didn’t say he was a bad person, and maybe he does care about you in his own messed up way. But he doesn’t care about you in the way that you want him to.” His lips are still down turned when he speaks again.

“And the difference between him with you and him with Jimin is astronomical; it shouldn’t even be a comparison, but I will humor you,” he rubs a hand up and down his face like he’s tired. “The dynamic is completely different, for obvious reasons. For one, Jimin is a safe relationship. You are not. Jimin isn’t in love with him, Jimin isn’t sucking his dick, and Jimin doesn’t want things from Jeongguk that Jeongguk cannot give, or does not want to give,” he says with a raised brow as he takes a sip of his drink.

It seems that the anger has died down some between you both, a semi-civil conversation finally being had. You wrinkle your brows in confusion at him. “What are you talking about?”

He rolls his eyes. “Cmon __. Why do you think he hasn’t made you his girlfriend? Why do you think he literally has not been in a serious relationship since high school? Why do you think he never agrees to anything more than 2 months out?” He waits for you to answer but you just purse your lips stubbornly. “He’s scared. Dare I say terrified of commitment, and that’s exactly what you want from him right?”

You stay headstrong and quiet for a moment longer, ignoring his question in favor of asking one of your own when you finally do speak up. “If I’m so scary, why hasn’t he left?”

Taehyung shrugs. “Fuck if I know? Maybe he does care about you like you say he does. I don’t think so, but hey,” He raises his hands in mock surrender, like he is throwing in the figurative towel. “Maybe you’re right and maybe I‘m wrong. Or maybe there’s some fucked up codependency fermenting between you both when you copulate. I genuinely have no clue, and frankly, I don’t care to find out. Don’t text me until you come to your senses. And don’t get mad when I tell you ‘I told you so’.”

And with that, he turns and leaves you to make your own drinks. You hope the smile you give Jeongguk when you find him is believable.

That night when you go back to his place, you voice your concerns to him in between sweet, heated kisses that taste like hot cider. You tell him hesitantly how Taehyung voiced his concerns about Jeongguk not caring about you and Jeongguk got a little irritated, a little miffed as he unlatched his lips from your neck. He asked what Taehyung knew, how he even came to that conclusion when he’s not around you both.

He assured you with gentle touches and tender words that of course he cares about you. He reminded you that he always makes time for you, he always answers your calls and your texts, he takes you out every now and then, too. He asks you what you think and when you contemplate your answer, going over what he said, you can’t really argue with him. Even if an uneasy, dismal feeling settles in the pit of your tummy.

~~~

hellooo!! again, this is just a scene and part of the plot that i chose not to use because i felt like the fic was already so long. i wish that i had ended up including it tho, so i hope you enjoyed even though its nothing special <3 feel free to do the things if you liked it: like, comment, reblog, send an ask~~ love u, ty again for helping me reach that milestone <3

[twinklelilstarkey]

Relieved - Matthew Tkachuk

Words: 1.7k+

Type: Fluff

Summary: Matthew has to go back to work just days after you give birth to his son and he absolutely hates it.

Warnings: Female!Reader. Anxiety (maybe, separation anxiety). Kinda rude Matty. Mentions of soreness and lack of sleep (from birth).

It has been 2 days since you were dismissed from the hospital. Two days since you have officially become a mother. And two days since you haven’t slept a full night without waking up at least 4 times during it.

Your body is still very sore, but medicine helps. Yet it’s not like you move a lot around the house.

Matthew, your boyfriend and dad of your kid, does not let you get up most times the baby cries. He always says that he will check and then if you’re needed, he’ll bring the baby to you. All of this because he knows that you’re tired and really doesn’t want you to tire yourself out further or go through any pain from how sore you are, over something that he can do.

Bad thing work calls quick. You’ll be on maternity leave for at least one more month, but Matt? Yeah, no, his team supposedly already needs him back.

And he’s not happy about it.

“Baby, I’ll be fine.” You tell him in a low whisper. “You don’t have to worry that much.”

He clenches his jaw and looks out of the window, clearly annoyed. He’s not wearing a shirt and is holding the newborn baby close to his chest as he sleeps peacefully.

Matt looks down at his son, staring at his small chubby face with adoration, as it is kind of smooshed against his warm skin, which makes his lips slightly parted, and he continues to contemplate calling his coach and just announce his absence last minute.

“He’ll probably still be asleep when you come back.” You tell him, gaining his attention again. “We’ll both be fine.”

“And if something happens?” He asks, also in a whisper, “I won’t be able to pick up the phone and come home.”

“Your mom is just a few blocks away at the hotel, remember?” You ask softly, “I promise that if something happens she’ll be the first person I call.”

He thinks about it for a second and looks down at the baby again.

“She’ll probably get here in less than 2 minutes too.” You add to lighten the mood.

A grin appears over his lips at the sound of your words and he gives his head a slight shake. You smile and he leans away from the wall beside the bedroom window.

Matthew sits down beside you on the side of the bed and you move a bit to sit closer to him. You two look down at the sleeping baby, admiring him as if he’s just the most peaceful thing in the world and didn’t wail his little lungs out just about half an hour ago.

You lean your cheek against Matthew’s naked shoulder and he lays his head against yours, letting the two of you sit in the peaceful silence as he rethinks his options.

“I’ll go.” He finally whispers, “But promise me you’ll call my mom right away. And that you’ll always have your phone with you.”

“I promise.” You say with a slight grin.

You lift your head off his shoulder really slowly, so he can lift his first, and you move a bit on the bed to move in even closer to him. You give a quick kiss on the lips before giving him two more on the cheek and offer him a smile.

“Everything’s going to be fine.” You tell him in a whisper.

(...)

Throughout the warmups and game, Matthew’s mind is going a mile a second. 

Sure, he’s a professional athlete, he’s supposed to be able to put everything in the back of his mind and only focus on the game and nothing else. But it doesn’t really work that way. 

From the time he stepped foot outside of the apartment and inside the arena, he feels like his heart is continuously skipping beats and accelerating for no reason.

And the fact that everyone that would see him walking to or around the locker room would congratulate him for the second time for being a first-time dad, is just making matters worse. 

How is he supposed to be focused on something when everyone just keeps on reminding him who he has at home?

Warm-ups were awful, he just wanted to do one more lap, go take his gear off, and go home. It’s going to take him hours to leave that place and knowing that is just worsening this whole situation.

You, on the other hand, are more than calm. To be completely honest, you’re sitting in bed half-asleep for most of the time. As well as the baby, who is sleeping on his little crib beside your bed, peacefully, as the game plays in a soft mumble on your bedroom’s TV. 

You’ve also now come to realize that the voices of the casters over the sound of blades on the ice are surprisingly relaxing when left at a certain volume. To you, at least, a mother who hasn’t slept more than 3 hours for the past few days.

While you were taking your very peaceful nap, Matthew was still a nervous wreck. He’s made sure that one of his trainers has his phone just in case something happens. Something that, of course, they never do but today is the big exception.

And surprisingly, he scored in the second period. 

Matthew honestly felt like he was on autopilot the whole game, so it even came as a shock to him that he did it. Which some people did notice since he had a more confused look on his face than anything while everyone around him celebrated. 

And right as the game went to intermission, he thought he was being able to put home aside for a second. But that was only until the god damn intermission interview.

“Congratulations on the new addition to the family , by the way. How’s everything going back home?”

Damn you, whoever decided to make that question. He did answer with a smile and a soft tone, seeming to everyone like he’s an under-control-over-his-emotions dad and not at all freaking the fuck out.

You? Still fast asleep. Just like the baby.

By the time the third period reached its half, Matthew was already seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

He’s almost home.

And you? Well, this time you’re not asleep anymore. You’re changing a diaper and then comforting your very small baby against your upper chest as you walk around the house.

It still amazes you how such a small being can scream so loud.

You used the opportunity of being up on your feet and with the baby with you to go actually eat something. Which was kind of hard to do with only one hand, but not impossible.

You texted back Chantal, Matt’s mom, just to let her know that you are okay and that you were even able to take a nap, which as an answer you got all types of celebration emojis.

Everything was going pretty okay and honestly, that nap worked wonders with you. You felt exhausted when Matthew left, and now you feel as strong as ever. Still sore, but strong.

After eating and drinking tones of water, you walked back to the bedroom to watch the end of the game. You had to eventually feed the baby as well but that went fairly easy.

You had to give yourself a pat on the back after this whole thing, everything went so well that it seemed like you’re truly getting the hang of it. For now, at least.

The game ended, the Flames won, and Matthew was ready to go home. 

That is until he’s told that he has press to do. He swears he almost hit someone with his stick or even helmet. Like, come on, people!

And this time he did not have the smile nor a soft tone, he looked pissed, which some people found funny. 

At least some questions were quick and easy to answer, but there still were the quite annoying ones he’s grown accustomed to.

He was out of his chair as soon as the words ‘the questions are do-’ left someone's mouth. Rude? Probably, but today is not the day to throw that in his face.

The shower was probably the quickest one he’s ever taken and he thinks he didn’t even dry himself off completely when he started getting dressed. 

Speeding out of the parking lot, home he went.

He doesn’t even think he parked his car correctly, but he was out of the car and inside the house in a matter of seconds.

You heard him from the bedroom let his bag fall by the lobby of the house and his quick footsteps over the wooden floor of the hallway. 

A few seconds later, Matthew appears in the bedroom’s doorway and his eyes are staring down at you right away.

“Hi!” You say with a smile.

“Did he sleep this whole time?” He asks, a slight shock on his face.

“No,” You say with a smile, “But he might go to sleep again in a few.”

You look down at the small baby and you hear Matthew making his way to the bed. He ignores the fact that he’s still wearing his very uncomfortable suit and sits next to you, leaning his back against the headboard while eyeing his son staring at the ceiling while what looks like chewing on his tongue.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask him as he stares intensely.

A shy smile grows on his face and you smile back as you see that as a big ol’ silent yes. 

You lean away from the bed’s headboard and turn a bit to Matthew to get a better angle. He slowly and safely takes his baby from your arms, who automatically leans on whatever warmth is next to him - that being Matt’s chest.

Matt doesn’t feel stressed, anxious, mad, or even tired anymore. He just feels relieved that he’s back home.

You look at two of them and your heart completely melts at the image you swear you can look at for the rest of your life. 

What is there not to love about this?

Baby fever is still going strong, so I had to write this, don’t hate me.

[fruitcoops]

I think it would be really interesting for leo and sirius to talk ab how they both didn’t go to college and how they both joined the nhl at 18 but had v different upbringings

Ooo, I like this one! I’m always down for some Cap and Knutty bonding. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for mentioned bad parenting

“Kinda weird, isn’t it?” Leo said, breaking the nighttime silence after many long minutes of just their breathing. Sirius hummed in question. “Starting all this so young.”

Sirius made a noncommittal noise and Leo shifted, never taking his eyes off the sky. There was too much light pollution to see the stars properly in Gryffindor, but the roof of the rink didn’t have a bad view; the planes flying overhead brought pinpricks of brightness to the indigo blur.

“Was it hard for you?”

He heard Sirius’ coat move. “Was what hard?”

“Starting the NHL at eighteen.”

There was a long beat of silence. “Sometimes.”

“I didn’t know if I would make it,” Leo confessed, still barely above a murmur. Nobody else was around, but it didn’t feel right to talk in normal voices. The whole world was muted, save for the noise of the city below them. “There was just so much to do.”

Sirius laughed softly. “I hate to break it to you, rookie, but that doesn’t change.”

“How do you deal with it?”

“Before, or now?”

Leo thought for a moment. “Both.”

“Before, I would go home and shoot pucks until I was too tired to stand up. Sometimes I would read.” It wasn’t a secret, but it still made Leo’s heart hurt to remember. Nobody as kind and hardworking as Sirius deserved that. “Now, I make myself some food, take a shower, and steal Re’s softest hoodie.”

Leo could hear his smile in the dark—it echoed his own. “Nothing better, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Finn’s fit me best,” he mused. “But Lo’s smell better.”

“Ah, he finally discovered deodorant?”

“Shut up,” Leo teased, elbowing his ribs. Sirius laughed a little louder; in the light of the streetlamps and the absence of his granite-hard focus, it was easy to remember that he was only 26. Leo had worshipped him as a kid, but now he just saw Sirius for what he was. His captain, who guided him through the playoffs even when his personal life was crumbling apart. His older brother, though Sirius certainly wouldn’t think of him that way. His friend.

“Really, though, it’s important to have those connections,” Sirius said when they both calmed down. “Being alone is good, but only if you know you have people to talk to when you need them.”

“Was it easier when you weren’t living with someone?”

“No.” The answer was immediate.

“Sometimes I want the apartment to myself.” Leo lowered his voice unconsciously, then sighed. “It’s not because I don’t want them there. I just need to be alone. Wash the dishes. Clean my room. Call my mom.”

“You should tell them.”

He turned his head slightly; Sirius was still scanning the sky. “Is that what you did?”

“It took a couple hiccups, but yeah. If one of us needs some alone time, the other will go to the grocery store or take a walk, maybe hang out with friends. You just have to make sure your boys know that it’s not personal.”

“You’re freakishly good at sage advice.”

Sirius snorted. “Merci, rookie.”

“I’m not a rookie anymore.”

“Yeah, you are.” He raised his hands, as if outlining a marquee. “The Eternal Rookie, starring Leo Knut.”

Leo stuck his tongue out, feeling rather petulant about the whole thing. “Watch it, Cap, I’m gonna sic Dumo on you.”

“My own father?” Sirius gasped dramatically. “How could you?”

“Did you ever get homesick?”

The question was out of the blue—he didn’t blame Sirius for faltering. Honestly, Leo was kicking himself for asking in the first place, though he had been keeping it in for ages. Unspoken rule of the Lions #1: Don’t ask Cap about his childhood.

“I…” Sirius fell silent once more.

“I’m sorry,” Leo apologized, and he meant it. “That came out of nowhere.”

“I missed Regulus,” Sirius continued carefully without acknowledging him. “But no, I didn’t get homesick. I didn’t have time, or a real reason.”

Alone in a new city, finally out of a horrible living situation, but desperately missing the little brother he left behind… Leo couldn’t even begin to imagine going through it when the NHL by itself was already overwhelming to his teenage brain. He scooted an inch closer until their shoulders touched. “I get homesick every couple of months.”

“You have a kind family.”

“Have you even met them?”

“At the party.” Sirius’ smile was practically audible. “Your mother was very excited to see me.”

“Oh, god,” Leo groaned. “What happened?”

“She—“ He broke off with a laugh. “She was very nice, I promise, but I think I surprised her because she squeaked when I said ‘hello’.”

Leo shook his head. “Did you sneak up on her?”

“I’m six two, I can’t sneak up on anyone!”

“You walk like a fucking ghost, dude! It’s creepy!”

“Okay, rude.”

“I swear, you and Loops need to be belled like cats,” Leo huffed.

They lapsed back into comfortable quiet for a few more minutes as a train rattled past on one side and the metro busses rolled down Main Street on the other. It had taken Leo a long time to figure out Gryff’s layout, and even longer to get used to the sounds of the city.

“What does it feel like?”

Leo blinked, unsure if he had heard correctly. “What?”

“Being homesick.” Sirius shifted again and folded his hands over his stomach. “I didn’t notice much of a difference in practices when I started the NHL, and going back to my parents’ house wasn’t my exactly a highlight of my year.”

Curiosity overrode his tact and reasoning skills. “You never asked Logan?”

“Non. It was different, with him. He had already left to go to college before I knew him, and spent four years away from his family.”

“Right.” Leo forgot about that on occasion. That Finn and Logan might be five years older than him, but they had only been rookies a year or two prior. Not everyone went straight from their city select team to an official draft. “It’s hard to describe.”

Sirius made an understanding noise, but he couldn’t entirely mask his disappointment. Leo licked his lips and tried again.

“It’s like a piece of you isn’t where it’s supposed to be. And it keeps tugging on your chest, but you never know when it’s going to start and stop so you just… deal with it. You ignore it some days and you think about it other days.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “The hard days are when you remember you can’t go back to the way things were before. I don’t even call my mom sometimes, ‘cause I know it’ll make me sadder.”

“The way things were before?”

“Yeah, like—like all my classmates are in college, and I’m laying on a roof with one of the most famous hockey players in the history of forever.” That drew a light laugh from them both. “I’m gonna go back to my reunion in a couple years and have literally nothing in common with the people I used to be friends with.”

“Sometimes I wish I went to college,” Sirius said. “But I would have missed so much if I did. I don’t think I would have been happy there.”

“Finn and Logan get weird about college.” Maybe he shouldn’t be talking about it, but Leo had the feeling none of their conversation would leave the rooftop. “It was hard for them, with all their shit.”

“Re does, too.” He recognized the sad edge in Sirius’ voice; it was the same as his own. “For a different reason. It started good, and ended bad.”

“I’m glad I missed out on that,” Leo said, biting down the urge to scream at the universe for putting their significant others through so much hardship at an already-difficult time. None of them deserved the pain they went through. “Besides, it’s not like we need degrees to play hockey, and we’ll have plenty of money afterward.”

“I never thought about my life after hockey until my ankle.”

“My parents always pushed me to make sure I wanted to do the NHL instead of more school.”

“You’re lucky to have them.”

“I wish you did.”

The words hung suspended between them before Leo could swallow them back down, somehow dangerous and calming at the same time. It wasn’t like he had never thought about it before; he just hadn’t said it out loud. The first time he had seen Sirius’ parents across the rink had given him a case of the heebie-jeebies so strong he had to shower twice. All the times after that just made him angry.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Sirius’ voice was quiet, but not upset. “You’re not the first person to say it. I’m glad you feel like you can be honest with me.”

Leo frowned. “Well, yeah. Obviously.”

“I try really hard to not be an asshole captain, so it actually does mean a lot.”

“I don’t think you could be an asshole if you tried.”

The barking laugh that split the night startled Leo so bad he nearly jumped out of his skin; Sirius clapped a hand over his mouth, though he was still snickering. “Sorry, sorry, I just—holy shit, I forgot you didn’t know me before. Mon dieu.”

“You weren’t that bad,” Leo protested. “Pots said you used to be grumpier, but that’s it.”

Sirius shook his head, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. “I was such a dick. There’s not a single picture of the whole team where I’m smiling for about two years and I was such a stickler for the rules.”

Leo gaped at him. “You followed rules?”

“To the fucking letter. It was awful.”

“What happened?”

Sirius shrugged. “I got friends. Idiot friends who did things like showing me the easiest way onto the roof. Pots used to drag me up here every Friday.”

“Really?”

“Ouais.” Mischief flitted over his face. “He skipped date night with Lily once on accident, and she tracked us up here like a bloodhound. It was terrifying.”

“What did you do?” Lily was one of the nicest people Leo knew, but he knew better than to get on her bad side.

“Lied to her face while James hid behind that strobe light.”

“Did it work?”

“Are you kidding?” he snorted. “She called me a liar and suggested getting a better best friend. That was after she told James he’s better have something nice planned for their next date if he ever wanted to get in her pants again.”

“And yet you didn’t listen to her.” Leo tsked. “Of all the people on the team, you chose the hot mess.”

“Trust me, rookie, James had his whole life figured out compared to me.”

“Did you…” Leo trailed off and but his lip. He had pushed his luck a lot already; who knew if one more question would be the tipping point? “Did you ever think about coming out? Even just to Pots.”

Sirius didn’t hesitate. “After every single game.”

“For seven years?”

“Up until the day those pictures were leaked. Even more after Re and I were together.”

“How old were you when you knew?”

“13. You?”

Leo exhaled slowly. “I’m not sure. I think I had an idea of it as a kid, but didn’t really get it until I was in high school. My parents were even more worried about the NHL after I told them.”

“They worry a lot about you.”

“Only child, and I was going for a wildly unstable career path with no guarantee that I would ever see the ice.”

“They’re proud of you. More than you know.” Sirius’ watch beeped. “It’s ten o’clock. Are you supposed to be home?”

“I should probably make sure my boys haven’t burned down the apartment.” Neither of them made an attempt to move. “Can we do this again sometime?”

“Of course.”

You’re like a brother to me, he wanted to say. I don’t know who else I can talk to like this. “Thank you.”

“Any time. We don’t have to do extra practice beforehand, either.”

Leo nudged him gently. “You’re the best captain ever.”

“You’re the best rookie, rookie.”

“I’m not a rookie.”

“Yeah, you are.”

Yeah, I am, he thought as they laid side-by-side in silence once more with the past behind them and the future ahead. And if I end up like you, it means I did something right.