#kind of crazy that about two years ago i had written no fanfiction

[roomwithanopenfire]

Six Sentence Sunday

Happy Sunday Everyone!! Thanks to @monbons for tagging me, so excited for the next chapter of your fic!

I've been having a really good week, I finished up all my finals and all my papers, and I moved all my stuff out of my dorm room—meaning I'm back home now and ready for summer! I have two weeks before my main summer job starts, so that means a lot of time for writing! And I've already gotten a start by having a super productive week writing-wise this week as well (finally got some solid work in on my COBB fic, turns out getting some vampire name inspo from @fiend-for-culture and seeing the first peek of the artwork really brought back all my excitement for this wip!!!)

I'm posting the newest chapter of Proof of Life tomorrow, which is one that I'm super excited to share. Unfortunately, this is the last chapter in my backlog, so I'll have take a small posting break after this, but that just means that if you haven't had a chance to start reading yet, you have time to catch up 🙃

But even more exciting news! I realized that I missed the 2 year anniversary of the first fanfic I wrote for this fandom! After reading all three Carry On books, I absolutely devoured fanfiction for probably around 6 months before ever writing my own. And the only reason I wrote anything was because I had a scene absolutely stuck in my head, and no one else had written it yet. So honor of being a month late to it's birthday, here are 6ish sentences from the first fanfic I wrote: Tense Silence (under the cut because this is already getting long):

“You’re a vampire.” says Simon. His voice came from above me. “You really are.”

I look up to see Simon standing, staring down at me. He has the Sword of Mages in one hand and the silver cross dangling in the other. It is very close to my face. I turn my head away. He moves the cross closer. I close my eyes as I smell the metal hanging merely centimetres away from me. 

“You tried to bite me.” He says. “You really tried to drink my blood.”

As you can see, I started out the fandom almost exactly where I ended up—writing angsty vampire Baz fics. While there's some things that I would do differently now and a few noticeable mistakes (Simon's cross is gold not silver, Past Lily, get it right!), I'm still really proud of this fic. I remember spending weeks working on it and being very nervous to post this 6k fic, so it's definitely kind of crazy to look back it and see how much I've grown as a writer, and how many friends I've made in fandom since then.

Tags & Hellos!

@you-remind-me-of-the-babe @facewithoutheart @run-for-chamo-miles @raenestee @artsyunderstudy

@onepintobean @prettygoododds @noblecorgi @hushed-chorus @angelsfalling16

@thewholelemon @shrekgogurt @brendughh @a-maisie-ng @hertragedyconnoisseur

@beastmonstertitan @valeffelees @horsesarenotdeer @drowninginships @supercutedinosaurs

@fiend-for-culture @rimeswithpurple @cutestkilla @alexalexinii @ileadacharmedlife

@arthurkko @rbkzz

[hermiola]

Writer's Meme, 2024 Edition

I've been tagged by @turquoisedata 💜

-------------------------

How many works do you have on ao3?

14. 6 Good Omens + 8 MCU, but we have to go back to 2014 and 2016 for those. I also used to publish on an Italian fanfiction archive where I have 70 more fics (I went back to check and count them after approximately two thousand years and HOLY SHIT, I didn't remember them being so many! My first fic is more than 20 years old WTF).

What’s your total word count?

150.000 words on AO3. But I'm guessing it's waaay higher than that (the Italian archive doesn't show the word count 🥲).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My GO fics have the most kudos (given the popularity of the fandom + the fact that they're written in English and not in Italian). I have 6, so the top 5 is basically all of them:

Take a Little Love From Me (Pretty Woman AU)

Final Breakthrough (Now!) (Post-Season 2 Fix-It)

Crazy Little Thing (Called Love) (Non-S2-complying silliness)

When Hell Freezes Over (Human AU with magician!Crowley and critic!Aziraphale)

Let There Be Rock (First meeting after 1967)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I do! I don't get that many, so it's not overwhelming, and I just like to respond. As I said somewhere else, my experience in the GO fandom has been mostly a solitary one (recently not so much though!) so I just like to interact whenever I can.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to consider only the GO ones because I feel like the others have been written by another me entirely (also I'm not sure I even remember them).

So it's definitely Let There Be Rock.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'd say all of them, but Take a Little Love From has a proper epilogue and everything. I guess their happiness has more space there than elsewhere.

Do you write crossovers?

I have in the past, but not anymore.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I know of.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really. I LOOOOVE reading smut (especially in those chonky slow burn fics), but I can't bring myself to write explicit smut for some reason. I love describing the tension and the heat of the moment (I love UST so much I'm going to marry it tbh - like nothing makes me happier/hornier than two people who want to fuck each other but can't for some reason - am I edging myself? IDK) but when it comes to my own writing I feel like spelling out the details just ruins the moment. I do think it's my ace showing in some way. But, anyway, I read the filthiest filth so this definitely doesn't apply to reading. And who knows, maybe one day I'll try! I'm not ruling anything out.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I used to translate HP fics back in the day (from English to Italian). We're talking 20 years ago. And it's funny when you think about it, because I translate novels for work now 🤣

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, always back in the day with HP. I'm still friends IRL with the girl I wrote them with (we actually met because of HP) (this is as good a time as any to say FUCK YOU JKR).

What's your all-time favourite ship?

This depends on the hyper-fixation of the moment. I cannot multitask with my OTPs. If I get obsessed with a new one, I retire the previous one. Like I could split my life into different time periods just based on my OTPs. Ron/Hermione has been my personality for YEARSSSS, but now I can barely think about HP without cringing. Another BIG ONE was Clint/Natasha from the MCU (which explains my look here on Tumblr), but the MCU as a whole has gone a bit stale for me (with few exceptions). And now it's all about Crowley/Aziraphale - it's so bad I had to unretire from fanfiction writing after almost 10 years LOL.

(I like many other ships but not to the point of *obsession*).

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

The only one I can think of is a Clintasha Actors AU, but I don't think I have it anymore, and I wouldn't finish it even if I had.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogues and banter are my favourite things to write, and I think it shows.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English is not my first language, so my writing lacks variety I think. I feel like I have always the same phrases stuck in my head, so it's probably kind of repetitive, especially when compared to some of the fics I read. (But when I started writing my first GO fic in English I wasn't even sure I could *actually* do it, so I'm proud of myself either way!).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's okay! I personally would ask a native speaker to help me (if possible) instead of going the Google Translate route. Being Italian and watching/reading almost exclusively in English I know how silly it sounds when the characters start speaking your language and they're saying nonsense (but no harm done even in this case, imo, especially in fanfics. In movies, though, it's just lazy!).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

HP, back in 2004 (welp).

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

None, thankfully. If I'm writing fanfic it means I'm in the late stage of hyperfixation and I don't wish that on myself if I can help it. Like I used to read 50+ books a year before GO S2. It's bad!!!

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Take a Little Love From Me mainly because it's the one I've spent more time with.

Tagging some people if they feel like doing it (but no pressure at all!): @beerok23 - @sabotage-on-mercury - @gaiaseyes451 - @leviosally

[bretongirlwrites]

tagged by @sylvienerevarine for this tag game... i don't know who has already been tagged but i will tag @druidx and @redyn-nerevarine and anyone else who feels like it

How many works do you have on AO3?

91.. i have no idea how it got to that amount. most of them are like 500 words though. just bits. i also have 33 on fanfiction dot net but haven't posted there in years and years

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

146,927. which means i'm somehow significantly under my fanfiction dot net count (232,934!!) despite the 91 fics. damn what was i on back in 2015

3. What fandoms do you write for?

well you all know about the elder scrolls ones. have dabbled in dragon age and mass effect, but don't often publish what i write for those. my 2015 obsessions were merlin and sherlock and occasionally atlantis but they're pretty much abandoned

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

cannot really answer as i got hit a few times by the kudos bot. the formation of a courier is incontestably up there. as is where were you when the dragonborn came, but i've a feeling people accidentally end up on that one thinking the title is uhhh innuendo

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to... i don't get too many and idk what to reply other than 'thanks! :)' though

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

an ultimatum and well laid plans maybe... i can't really say that my fics have endings. since they're mostly scraps and i never finish longer fics

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

see above... i try to end things happily but since i'm writing fics from the middle it's not always obvious from what i publish

8. Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully not. except an instance of delphine hate that wasn't very favourable to the fic either. and that one time way back when, when someone criticised a fic for being unrealistic. because the count of monte cristo is so realistic

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do not. the only time i tried, it ended up extremely non-explicit anyway. and i deleted it off ao3 because it was cringe but it was getting tons of hits from people probably expecting more. i used to tag my fanfiction dot net ones with 'this will not contain smut or anything like that' because i didn't realise that smut was what people were mainly looking for

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've written?

i began a merlin/sherlock crossover that got quite popular but which i never finished... the crazy thing ended up being not so much the crossover but the existence of a magical teleporting conservative mp

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i damn well hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i used to translate my own fics into french... i no longer have the translations but knowing how bad i was at french in 2015, i doubt they were readable. maybe i ought to try again... since nobody else appears to be doing so hehe

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

no although i have written crack fics with my sibling that would never make any sense to anyone including us

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i'm not really in this for the shipping... my oc victoria hatteras and her platonic soulmate harbert brown will always be my otp but i do not publish anything about them. am however fond of julienne and marcurio (all the book smarts and none of the street smarts), and lunette and ilmeni (which despite lunette's cavalier attitude to romance, i am determined will be perfect)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

occasionally i still get requests to continue the aforementioned merlin-sherlock crossover. but that's probably not happening. really the answer is 'literally any of them' since i don't remember the last time i finished a multi-chapter fic

16. What are your writing strengths?

uhhh uniqueness. chaos punctuation. sounding like i died two hundred years ago

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

anything actually happening that involves like movement and stuff

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i've not thus far felt like i needed to, at least for tes. if a fic called for french or german, then i'd try. if it called for anything else, i wouldn't trust myself or google translate enough. idk how readers would feel about that... i already invent words from french sometimes

19. First fandom you wrote for?

in terms of published works, it seems to be doctor who. in terms of generally... hell probably still doctor who, i was obsessive when i was younger

20. Favourite fic you've written?

all and none of them. the aforementioned formation of a courier... and the imperial city irregulars, that was a good one. i seem to be more consistent and less cringe where comedy is concerned than more serious fics

[casdeans-pie]

Fanfiction Q&A

Tagged by @thepagemistress thanks so much for the tag!! I love stuff like this asdfghjkl

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

36

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

311,091

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Supernatural because it's my most recent fandom and I have extreme destiel related brainworms - but I do also still write Izuocha/My Hero Academia stories from time to time. I've officially 'left the fandom' but I find the ship cosy to write, so they're easy to come back to every so often. I would really like to get back into writing for Genshin too at some point! There are so many characters and their personalities are all so barely defined that it's a lot of fun to shake the grab bag of them and play around with ships and tropes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ahh they're all MHA. I wrote them at kind of the emergence of the MHA fic scene though. So it was just good timing. It's crazy that they've remained my most popular fics even this many years later wow.

Also fun fact, the two ships here had fandoms that actively hated each other because Ochako is in both of them. I was living my best multi shipping life.

Also also, the jump in number between #1 and #2 is wild. BBB is a fandom experience I will treasure forever.

#1 Beep Beep Beep - Izuocha / My Hero Academia - 2,245

#2 Saw This. Thought of You - Izuocha / My Hero Academia - 787

#3 Ceiling Scorch Marks - Kacchako / My Hero Academia - 675

#4 Green's Your Colour - Izuocha / My Hero Academia - 582

#5 Sweaty Palms - Kacchako / My Hero Academia - 544

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Heck yeah!! It may take me anywhere between a day and a month, but I will always reply at some point. I like to repay the kindness of leaving a comment with acknowledgement <3 even if all I can manage back is a keyboard smash and a thank you

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, easily easily Don't Stop Dreaming (Izuocha/MHA) I cackle like a classic disney villain every time someone leaves a comment about how they didn't notice the main character death tag and the ending broke them. Did I put it in the middle of the tags simply to make missing it easier? maybe so.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Okay this one is hard. Because 99% of my fics are fluff. They pretty much all have a happy ending lmaoooo

The cheesiest happy ending might have to go to Cat Thief (Reddie/IT) though - that whole fic I tried to capture the vibe of a cheesy Hallmark movie and then for the ending I really dialled it up to ten. Cavity inducing honestly aaa

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think so??? I've had the odd piece of criticism here and there, which makes me like >:( because I didn't ask for crit and I'm doing all this for freeeee

But otherwise, nope <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not anything I've ever published (because it's not very good asdfghjkl) It's honestly very vanilla and mostly about the ooey gooey feelings more than the smut itself, so I don't know whether it would really appeal?

Either way any smut I ever decide to post on AO3 would have to be anonymously. Too many people I know in real life know my Izupie username and just the thought of one of them googling me one day and finding my AO3 is bad enough even without any smut fics being on there RIP

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Hmm, not really crossovers? I write AU's of other worlds - like, I wouldn't write the cast of IT meeting the characters of Soul Eater, but I wrote the characters of IT in the world of Soul Eater. Does that make sense??

Two birds with stone because Dances of the Souls (Reddie/IT/Soul Eater) is also the craziest 'crossover' I've ever written. I saw some fanart and got inspired, and to this day I can't believe I wrote like 10k words of that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I did !! Many manyyy years ago. Someone sent me a message to say that they'd noticed somebody had reposted one of my fics but just changed the characters. Can't even remember what fandom they'd made it for.... They'd stolen a whole bunch of Izuocha fics and just changed the names! So a few affected Izuocha writers including myself sent them messages asking them to take the stolen fics down and within a few hours their whole profile had been deleted.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No!! But I would LOVE that !! Anyone who ever wants to translate any of my fics, please know the answer will be yes!!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I'm the process of that actually with Seal My Heart (Izuocha/MHA)!! It's been such a fun process but I feel so bad because I'm really bad at procrastinating and getting distracted by working on multiple things at once and I don't have a whole lot of free time, so I am probably the worst collab partner you could have!!! (sorry!!!!)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I usually change this answer based on my current fandom tbh! Right now I can't imagine any ship affecting my brain in quite the same way as Destiel.

I think it's the ALMOST of it that has given me infinite brainworms and hurts my soul. And they have just the most delicious dynamic. They're best friends. They're fighting. They're soft. They're gonna burn the whole world for each other. They're wearing silly cowboy hats. etc etc

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I wish I had it in me to write part 2 of Barks (Reddie/IT). I had this whole extra plot with all these conspiracies and saving the town and ultimately wanted to end it with Eddie getting turned into a werewolf too, but it had already gone on to nearly 100k words and I just wanted to write other things asdfkl

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm.... I would say maybe the way that I create a mood? I like to really appeal to all the senses when I write to kind of make you feel like you're there in the scene. Changing my writing style to add to the atmosphere is also something I think I do quite well? Like short choppy sentences for tension etc etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. Dialogue all day. If everyone could just, not speak? That would be great. I really struggle to capture characters specific voices.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic.

I can't say I've ever given it much thought... I think it would be okay as long as you're VERY sure that it's correct.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ahh that would be my Yu-Gi-Oh self insert fanfiction all hand written in a little notebook that I wrote as a child :') I wrote me and a friend into so many adventures with the Yu-Gi-Oh characters. It's extremely cute.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Beep Beep Beep without a doubt. I had so so so much fun with it. I have a whole notebook filled with plans and notes about each character (even the ones that appear for small scenes or are only mentioned!) and I just had a blast the whole time coming up with what cameos I could insert and little references I could scatter around. I had backstories planned out that didn't even make it into the fic but helped inform how this universe had changed the characters from their canon counterparts.

Updating it and having people anticipating the updates was such a buzz I can't even explain. I would get messages about it, some very kind artists drew fanart of it! The whole experience was all I had ever wanted as a fanfic writer. I loved every moment.

On a more recent note - I haven't written anything as self indulgent as Flicker, Fizzle, Pop (Destiel/Supernatural) for a long long time and I LOVE that for me. I had soooo much fun! And I was so excited to update it because I had so many people excited to read it! Very very fond of this fic <3

Phew that went on for longer than I expected - turns out I can ramble about my own writing for a long time, who knew right???? asdfghjkl;

Tagging some writers! @encyclopika @amynchan @citrinediamondeyes @velvethopewrites @loserchildhotpants @king4aday @fivefeetfangirl @jemariel @microsuedemouse No pressure though! (I'm just curious about your answers hehehe) But also if you see this and you're not tagged and wanna do it anyway - do eeeeet!!

[livvyofthelake]

re: ur post abt the bad bbc merlin fanfiction. ur so real and correct its truly so dire out there i haven’t heard anyone else say it. the trenches are the only way to describe trying to find good shit like it’s given me trust issues. BUT anyway if u have any recs i would love to read them bc im STRUGGLING out here 😭🙏

well i wouldn’t be me if i didn’t first point out that you should really just watch better shows than bbc merlin. but i digress. back during the horrors two years ago i had a tag for merlin fanfic recommendations i’ll use on this post so you can see whatever i said then but right here right now i’m gonna put you onto some real shit

fundamental imperfection. this is just my favorite <3

tintagel. i can’t get too into it. you’re gonna have to trust me

hunger games au. crazy read if you don’t think for too long about it being kind of stupid as shit. also read this author’s other stuff but not the modern au office romance that one’s bad

olympics au. just throwing this out there for the timeliness of it. goodbye the 2024 olympics 💔

you could also if you’re really feeling crazy watch a movie from this list i made during the horrors of movies i think merlin and arthur bbc merlin could do. the list has explanations because i was crazy and it still holds up because i’m always right! so congrats you came to the right person on a relatively decent day <3

peace and love to you on this journey. again i would be remiss to point out the obvious fact that you should watch better tv shows than bbc merlin. such as xena warrior princess or supergirl. or perhaps galavant. anyway whatever watch whatever you want i just feel like it’s my civic duty to steer people away from bbc merlin because i think it’s bad and misogynistic and caters to viewers who don’t care about women despite their false pretenses of vague written by men girl power feminism. and definitely don’t watch bbc atlantis. you’re gonna feel like you have to after merlin but you don’t. i’m being serious watching bbc atlantis will only cause you harm it’s so much more bad than merlin AND it doesn’t even have any of merlin’s good qualities. ok i’m done. i’m literally trying to save you you have got to believe me here. ok bye

[virtie333]

Twenty questions for fanfic writers

I was tagged by @agent-troi and @randomfoggytiger. Thank you! I needed this diversion today!

How many works do you have on AO3?

102

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

892,823

What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (sequel and original trilogy), The X-Files, Triple Frontier (still have a Moon Knight WIP, too!)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Kinetic

Flight 814

Eyes in the Night

Let's Get This Show on the Road

My Best Friend's Weddings

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Sometimes I only have the energy for an emoji or two, but I always respond.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I always have happy endings... unless they are a cliffhanger because I was already planning another fic in the series. My craziest cliffhanger was definitely Let's Face the Music and Dance.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? LOL Uhm, probably my happiest ending was Kinetic, because it was the actual ending of The Rise of Skywalker, only elaborated upon (Poe Dameron was on the Millennium Falcon at the end of that movie, dammit!)

Do you get hate on fics?

No hate, thank God. I did get a few people complaining I had tagged Rey/Ben Solo in My Best Friend's Weddings, but I informed them that half of the fics that end up in the Rey/Poe tag are Reylo, so they have nothing to complain about. I was warned that by doing that I would get Reylo hate, and I did not, so that made me happy.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. I usually include it in my long fics and the occasional smutty short, but I don't write PWP. My smut is pretty vanilla (one reader called it 'classy,' which made my day), but I do have a little bit of a praise kink myself, so that comes out sometimes.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. I was fairly well know back in my X-File days, and I think someone would have let me know if they saw my stuff without my name on it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I know I had a few of my X-Files fics translated years ago, and one of my Damerey, Just In Time, thanks to @marieziffer!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I was part of a crazy multi-writer X-File fic way back in the day. We wrote the thing on the fly, taking turns for every chapter. It was on the Delphi Forums X-File site. I have no clue what happened to it, but I know we never finished it!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I am going to have to say Damerey, because I've been obsessed with it for over four years now. However, I will always love MSR and Han/Leia, and may yet write for both again someday.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hope to God I can finish them all! My Moon Knight is waiting patiently for me to finish this crazy Sequel rewrite, and my angsty Damerey is also always on my mind.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told my dialog is very realistic, and I've been told my smut is good, too. LOL

What are your writing weaknesses?

I find when I re-read my stuff that I favor certain phrases and use them a little too often. I also have a hard time writing action, but again, I've been told I do it well, so the struggle is worth it, I guess.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like it, as long as it's minimal. I don't want to have to always look up what things mean and I don't want my readers to, either.

First fandom you wrote for?

Depends. I was writing Star Wars back in Junior High/High School, but nothing anybody ever read. I also wrote for Jack and Jennifer from Days of Our Lives back than. My first 'published' fanfiction was for The X-Files.

Favorite fic you’ve written?

OMG. This is tough. I really love a lot of my stuff ('write what you want to read' is my motto!). I think I'm going to have to go with El Halcón.

Thank you, muchly! No pressure tags for @romanarose, @ivystoryweaver, @melodygatesauthor, @reallyrallyauthor, @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction, @walkawaytall, @phoenix-rising-starbird-one, @diplomaticprincess, @missdictatorme, and whoever else wants to do it (not sure who all has AO3, but you can always skip that part if not!)

[candycandy00]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for tagging me, @scary-grace! This was a lot of fun!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

18, though I’ve only posted a fraction of my BNHA stuff on there and there’s even some JJK stuff I haven’t posted there yet. 

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

217,870. And wow it took me way too long to find that lol. I didn’t even know about the Statistics page! 

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Currently, Jujutsu Kaisen and Boku no Hero Academia. I wrote for a ton of different fandoms back in my “previous era” I’ll call it lol. I wrote for One Piece, Naruto, Final Fantasy (mostly 7 and 12), Death Note, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Durarara!!, and lots of other things (almost all of it featuring non canon ships like Cloud x Yuffie and L x Misa). I’d like to try writing for Bungou Stray Dogs and Demon Slayer at some point. 

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Doll House (2,280)

Human (390)

The Offering (377)

How to Seduce a Gamer (300)

Little Miss Nobody (234)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! But sometimes if it’s a comment on an older chapter of something I might not or if I got several close together I miss a few and then I’m too embarrassed to go back and respond later. Or if they just comment with an emoticon, I’m not sure how to reply lol. 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

In my current era, it’s definitely the Mr. Compress chapter of The Dark Carnival. I have other fics that end badly for Reader but this one felt very tragic to me. 

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Most of mine have pretty happy endings! 

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Current era, I occasionally get people complaining that certain Readers are wimpy or stupid or whatever. I even had one person on AO3 write out a huge wall of text about how one of my Reader characters was a Mary Sue (they simultaneously complained that she was too weak and useless in a fight but also too perfect). But I tend to shrug off those comments. Readers are supposed to be Mary Sues. They’re literally Reader/Writer self inserts! Part of the appeal of x Reader fanfiction is the fantasy of Reader being an idealized version of yourself. So yeah she can hang out with the League of Villains and be the only girl Dabi has ever liked, or she can be old high school buddies with Gojo and Geto and they’re both crazy about her. It’s all fantasy. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Yes! And I write pretty much all kinds that don’t involve my three “big no’s” (minors, animals, or scat/pee/vomit). 

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

Not since I was a kid, writing Sailor Moon/DBZ crossovers lol. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not in my current era, not that I know of. In my previous era, I wrote a Gundam Wing fanfic that got really popular in the fandom and was ripped off twice. Not exactly copied word for word, but very close in both cases. They basically changed the wording around a bit but kept the entire plot the same (and it was a very unique AU with a big, sprawling plot). 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Like 20+ years ago a friend and I were co-writing a very fucked up DBZ fanfic together. It was actually pretty good, but it was unfortunately lost to time. I’d give anything to find it and be able to read it again, but she’s the one who was posting it and she deleted her account a few years later. 

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? 

I’m just gonna go with my current fave ships of my two main fandoms: BNHA (Spinneraki) and JJK (SatoSugu). 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

Probably The League of Villains Heroes. I love it dearly but it gets practically no notes so I have little motivation to keep working on it. 

16. What are your writing strengths? 

I’ve always felt like dialogue is my strong point. Probably because, until I was up into my 20’s, I rarely read actual books and almost exclusively read comics/manga (which tend to be dialogue heavy). I think I’m pretty decent with plotting as well. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

Descriptions! 😩 I am so bad at describing things. Or rather, I’m bad to just… not do it. I literally forget to. I’ve had friends read my work and be like “what does this place look like?” Or “what does that guy look like?” And I can see it all so clearly in my head that I forget readers can’t see it as well. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

I sometimes toss in some honorifics just because it seems weird to have certain characters not use them. Other than that, I try to avoid throwing in random Japanese (the only other language I would even consider using, just because these are Japanese characters). I did have Sukuna say his famous “Gambare, gambare” line once but it’s just too iconic! 

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

First I wrote for: Sailor Moon. First I actually posted a fic online for: Dragon Ball Z. 

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

I’m going to pick one from each fandom, only among completed fics. 

BNHA: Trending Topics

JJK: The Offering

Tagging @missrosegold and any other writer friends who would like to do this!

[canpokemonwritebooks]

Can the author of this blog write books?

Yes, with an 85 on the Pokémon writing scale.

Suggested by @avacadokin for this blog hitting 100 followers! Thread for context.

I’m going to preface this by saying that I created this blog three months ago because I found the idea amusing but I am actually interested in writing. I don’t really use that knowledge in determining how well a Pokémon can write though. 

I don’t think I’ve made any posts talking about myself and this is probably the most you’re going to get, unless you send asks because I usually respond to those regardless of what their content is. My main blog is @entity9silvergen so if yo want more context go check that out. Totally different from this blog so keep that in mind.

Also, I’d like to note that the Pokémon writing scale isn’t really designed for humans so I’m about to blow all these Pokémon out of the water. This score is me in comparison to Pokémon, not other humans.

Is this Pokémon physically capable of writing?

Yes. I have pretty standard hands and can hold a pen or pencil. I type more than write by hand these days though so my hands do get tired after awhile but I’m pretty good at typing. I took typing classes as a kid but I hate the way you’re supposed to type so I just kind of do my own thing. My WPM is usually mid to high 60s though.

9/10

Does this Pokémon know what a book is?

I do know what a book is. I’ve read a lot of them. Most of the ones I read (by choice) nowadays have pictures though.

10/10

Can this Pokémon read?

I can read. I’ve read a lot of books. I also have a state seal of biliteracy, which means the place I live recognizes I can read/ write in two languages. Not necessary to prove that I can read but I think that helps my score a bit.

10/10

Would this Pokémon have access to the materials needed to write a book?

Yes. I have a job so I can afford the things I need. I am also a university student so I have ways to get what I need if I don’t have them. Notably, I can use printers on campus, which can get kind of expensive but overall is way cheaper if you’re trying to print a book.

10/10

Does this Pokémon have enough basic education to write well?

Yes. As I said, I am a university student but I haven’t taken any writing classes yet. The credits for the English classes I took in high school maxed out the first half of my writing requirements so my university is making me wait awhile to take any. I am planning on minoring in professional writing though.

8/10

Would this Pokémon be good at writing?

Yes but here I have to be critical. I once read that once you have written a million words, you’re ready to begin. A couple years ago, I did some math and calculated that I have over a million words posted online of complete fanfiction (so excluding any unfinished/ unpublished work and excluding anything that isn’t fanfiction) and I recognize some weaknesses in my writing and things I need to improve on so it really does feel like now is the beginning of me writing. That being said, if you’ve written a million words, I think you have enough experience to be considered good at writing.

8/10

Does this Pokémon have anything to write about?

Yeah. I haven’t had a crazy life but I’ve had some unique experiences which aren’t really relevant here so I’m not really going to get into that. If I wrote a book, I wouldn’t write about myself though. I don’t have trouble coming up with ideas though and I always have a pretty long list of ideas I’d like to try writing.

10/10

Would this Pokémon be able to get their writing into a book?

Probably. Normally, I use this category to talk about binding or publishing. I know how to bind books but only a very basic version. I’m also on a book writing team, which I was recently told I shouldn’t be talking about online. Condensed version is that the publisher contacted an educational organization I do some web dev for, org did applications for writers, they liked my writing, and now I am a writer and do some middle management for the project, so I am familiar with the publishing process but I don’t make decisions or talk to the publisher. Honestly it seems pretty hard and I’m not certain I’d be able to do it. 

4/10

Would this Pokémon want to write a book?

Yes. I did just say I am currently writing a book so it’d be odd if I said no. The project I’m working on is nonfiction though and I think I would like to try writing fiction some time. But, since I know how hard it is and since there are aspects of my writing that I want to work on, I don’t currently plan on trying to write a book.

10/10

Does this Pokémon have any other redeeming qualities?

I think most of my pros were covered. I’m a uni student, I have education surrounding writing, I have written a lot, and I’m currently writing a book. I read a lot as a kid/ teen and now I have that adult reading burn out so I don’t read much anymore but people who read a lot are often stronger writers. I also have read quite a bit of writing advice. I also only really write as a hobby in order to avoid hitting writer burn out, or at least writer burn out with consequences. Oh, and I worked at a library for a bit but I don’t think that really helped me in any way.

6/10

Results

Yes, the author of this blog can write books with an 85 on the Pokémon writing scale.

Thank you to everyone who’s followed and sent in asks! I’m very behind on asks right now but I promise I’ll get to them all sooner or later.

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

[blzzrdstryr]

Moth into flame. Yandere!Kaeya x gn!reader

Wordcount: 4k

A.N: It’s very self-indulgent, but I had this idea for 2 weeks now and needed to get it out. I’ve never written fanfiction and I am not a native speaker, so bear with me.

CW: Violence, unhealthy relationship

For as long as you know Kaeya, he feels different from other people. Odd in the way that empty alleyways and dark rooms are odd, a sense of barely concealed danger lurking underneath the layers of charm and friendliness. You always felt his darker nature, but never questioned it before - you are an adventurer after all, the danger is your thrill.

He must have known that you aren’t particularly repulsed by this side of him, as his friendly facade morphed into something darker right in front of you for a couple of times. You doubt a liar and an actor as skilled as he is would make such amateurish mistakes.

No, he can’t be ignorant about how his more ominous part is what makes your veins sing from the strange mix of fascination and fear. That must be why he kept flashing his less amiable side, enticing you further in his grasp, and you gladly took step after step in the carefully crafted trap he prepared just for you.

How could you not? Kaeya is charming and dangerous, like wildfire  and you are nothing but a moth, too blinded by his light to stop and just think.

And now, seeing an irrefutable, but faux proof of the crimes you didn’t commit in his hands, you feel it - how searing his casual coldness can be. Right now, Kaeya Alberich is no human in your heart, he is a small piece of abyss that made its way out of Khaenri’ahn ruins to drag you down the cosmic darkness, where you possibly truly belong.

***

Kaeya both loves and hates your first meeting and he avoids reminiscing about it. It sounds strange, right?

Back then he was still a part of Ragnvindr household and Diluc treated him like a brother, and maybe that is a small part of a reason why he feels such aversion to recalling it - those memories are tinted both by fond nostalgia and bitter loss, enough to make him itch for a bottle in his hand.

Both Kaeya and you were green rookies - a knight fresh from training and a beginner adventurer, accidentally teaming up against a gang of treasure hoarders. It all ended up with both of you victorious, but injured. Kaeya helped you to walk back to Monstadt as one of the criminal's bolts wounded your leg, enough to make you wince from pain at every step.

In the middle of the trail he suddenly grew bored from your barely suppressed pained expressions and soft pants, no matter how cute they were to him, and decided to carry you, just like the groom would carry his  bride. He quipped and joked about it, as he made his way to the city's general direction, and you laughed and made some witty remarks in return.

At the moment he didn't think too much of it - you were another adventurer in his eyes back then, a cute, but insignificant passerby in his life and he was just playing a role of gallant knight in shiny armor. Give it a week or two and he would forget your face and your name.

But he didn't.

Just as you were approaching city gates, a miracle happened - red vision materialized right in your hands. You clutched it tightly to the chest, a bright smile appearing on your face. You turned your head to Kaeya, and he could have swore you were using your newly acquired Pyro on him.

How else could he feel so warm inside all of a sudden?

He couldn't help but recall your smile for weeks after that.

***

Your second meeting happened when you were returning to Mondstadt after your first long expedition. Shortly after the word of your Pyro vision reached Cyrus' ears, he was dead set on sending you to Dragonspine to help other adventurers. You were hesitant at first, but then your natural thirst for thrill combined with a hefty pay he promised won over you, and here you were - carrying several stacks of starsilver, absolutely exhausted and frozen to the very bones walking back to Mondstadt.

To say that you were unprepared would be an understatement of the year - even with pyro vision the cold seemed absolutely unbearable and to make matters worse you almost had a run in with a frostarm lawachurl. To avoid hopeless fight, you had to hide behind the tall snowdrift, almost submerging your body in it, as you both admired and dreaded the ice cladden giant.

Nonetheless, you acquired all of the starsilver the adventure guild needed, and now you trekked through the forest as the sun started to set.

Straining your eyes to see through the heavy rain and approaching darkness you saw it - a bright red smudge against the dark tree bark and unmistakable scent of blood. Such stark contrasts were enough to shake off the tiredness. You slowly made your way to the source of the stench, both fearing and anticipating what may reveal itself to your curious eyes.

There was a silhouette of an injured man that started to slowly morph into a vaguely familiar figure as you got closer. Seeing that there was no threat, you threw your ore to the ground and ran to the unconscious person. It was that knight who helped you to defeat treasure hoarders, Kaeya.

He looked horrible - his normally rich bronze skin now looked ashen and grey from the bloodloss, the face that radiated smugness seemed as if it already belonged on the corpse, the blue vest that he was wearing dyed almost completely in purple from the bloodloss, but the most horrible thing was a shallow but wide gash on his chest.

Not wasting any second, you pulled out your trusty dagger, and sliced the vest to inspect the wound. As you pulled obstructing cloth away you noticed another detail - small burns, surrounding the gash, as if someone slashed Kaeya with something hot enough to scorch, but not hot enough to close the wound and most unexpectedly, faintly glowing blue orb. A cryo vision.

You sat on your knees to put his vision in your pocket and clean his wounds. It still bled, as you frantically searched for a way to close it your eyes fell on the small burns around the wound and suddenly a crazy idea popped up in your head.

With shaking hands you used a piece of sliced vest to muffle him and prevent Kaeya from accidentally biting his tongue off, and then you took the dagger again heating it up. You heard about cauterization from older adventurers, but hoped that you wouldn’t resort to using it.

Kaeya’s pained groans were muffled by the makeshift gag, yet it wasn’t enough to wake him. After you made sure that his bleeding stopped, you removed your outerwear and wrapped Kaeya up. You cursed, as you hoisted a heavier body on your back, an exhaustion you have forgotten moments ago hitting you with a renewed strength.

The path to the Mondstadt with a new burden on your back now felt ten times longer. Even if you two were barely an acquaintance, a cold coil of fear for Kaeya's life still set in the pit of your stomach, and it seemed that no amount of fire would make you feel warm again.

***

Waking up in the infirmary was one of the biggest surprises in Kaeya’s life.

There were times when he was sure of his imminent death - an abandoned shivering child all alone in the forest, a stranger in the strange land, a prince of nothing with the weight of the whole dying kingdom left on his shoulders; a rainy night reeking of death and loss, grief and fury burning him just as much as incandescent claymore, rapidly growing pool of bright red blood, just as red as a…

Kaeya was okay with dying - it would be a nice ending to his story. The dead saviour of an already dead nation, an outlander casted out from the only semblance of home he had. He liked the irony.

He could have asked for help right after the duel, calling out that person’s name, he knew that that person wouldn’t leave him if he was dying, but the possibility of seeing hatred in those eyes was too much for him. The second a fiery blade cut through his flesh was when Kaeya decided to die.

And honestly, he couldn't continue to live once he confirmed what kind of a monster he is - the first thing he felt when he saw Crepus Rangvindr, a person who took him in, kept him fed, warm, safe and clothed all these years, a person who loved him more than his own father did, slowly disintegrating under the strain of delusion Kaeya felt no sadness. No, a relief, as if he was freed of a tiresome burden came instead.

Kaeya was disgusted and horrified for even experiencing such feelings in the first place, but he also couldn't do anything with it - for the last few years he was torn apart between Mondstadt and his homeland, and Crepus’ death should have solved his internal dilemma, driving the final nail in the coffin.

Sometimes he felt as if he was no person at all, just an abyssal creature that took on a human form and was allowed to live only to be unleashed on Teyvat. The time at Khaenri’ah was something that stuck with him for the rest of his life - the fear and resignation he experienced there heavily imprinted on his brain.

Every once in a while he had impulses to lie, to hurt and do as he pleases, for a long time he stopped these urges at the root, maintaining the illusion of normalcy he built for Ragnvindr household. He knew it was from Khaenri’ah, a cursed  nation of sinners with all of its glorious legacy lost to the sands of time. Immoral impulses were something that would have helped him to survive among the endless darkness that surrounded god-forsaken place.

“Ugh”, he tried to get up, to shake intrusive and self-deprecating thoughts away, but failed. Pain, like melted iron, slowly spread from his chest to the points of his fingers in a second. Even breathing was hard - his entire body ached and burned, a shaking hand slowly touched bandaged torso. Alberich winced as he remembered why exactly it was aching.

“Sir Kaeya, you are already awake! Please, don’t move.”, pretty but forgettable nun fussed over him, rechecking his bandages and then taking out a foul smelling medicine. She made Kaeya drink it all. He still cringing from the bitter taste, half sat on the bed, leaning on the headrest, tried to flash her his most charming smile and asked:

“Do you know how I got there?”, it seemed his charms did work on the girl, as she started to describe the previous night in great detail: what she was doing prior to his arrival, how dark the sky was, how worried she was when she saw his battered body, how exhausted the adventurer and guards that delivered him looked.

“Do you happen to know the adventurer’s name? I would like to say my thanks once I get better”

“Oh, it was [First], I think, but I am not sure.  I believe I saw a pyro vision” Kaeya slid in the lying position again, as he remembered you, his first and only crush. Half buried feelings ignited in his chest with a renewed vigor.

Seeing that Kaeya paid her no mind, the nun headed to the exit of the infirmary, but right before she left she turned to Kaeya again, saying that you will visit him tomorrow.

****

Just as you thought Kaeya was conscious today. After you managed to carry him back to Mondstadt, worried but distrustful guards at city gates took away your load and delivered him to the Church of Favonius. You insisted at coming with them, still anxious for Kaeya’s life. Nuns almost showed you out of the infirmary and you, defeated, had to go home.

The next day you spent looking for the abandoned starsilver, thoughts occupied both by Kaeya and the payment Cyrus promised. Fortunately, the stacks lied right where you discarded them and after a quick trip back to the adventurer's guild, you had nothing to do - weekly commissions done days prior, so you decided to spend some time inside the city for once.

As you navigated the city square you felt the tense mood that hung in the air, Mondstadt usually cheerful and carefree now seemed uncharacteristically gloomy. You later learned that the local wine tycoon, Crepus Ragnvindr, died in the accident and his son and young the youngest captain in history of Ordo Favonius, Diluc, left the city and abandoned the knights.

Despite spending almost all of your time outside the city gates, even you were aware of the city's happenings and certainly heard about two dashing young gentlemen. Kaeya was rumored to be a foreign orphan taken in by Crepus and Diluc as you remembered is a claymore swinging pyro user - a picture of Kaeya’s injuries came to mind. Scattered details started to slowly gather into a sound theory.

A fight after Crepus' death(was accident Kaeya’s fault?), that resulted in Diluc abandoning the knights(Are knights also at fault?).

You quickly brushed it off, as theorizing without the concrete evidence was one of the biggest mistakes one could make. So instead of building baseless speculations, you decided to visit one of the key people, Kaeya. Occupied by your thoughts and curiosity, the travel to the church seemed almost momentarily.

Stepping in the infirmary you were hit with a strong bitter scent of the medicine, but Kaeya sitting on the bed seemed fine, if not a bit tired. He was reading a book, but put it aside as he noticed you and gave you a warm smile.“I remember you, [First], you were the one who saved me I was told. Seems I should make it up to you”

“No need for it, you were dying”, you head to him, a hand searching for the vision in the travelling bag. His smile doesn’t drop, even when a somewhat awkward silence hangs around you. Finally, you exclaim: “I found a vision near you, and kept it so it doesn’t get lost or anything”.

“Oh, that’s a surprise, give it to me” the vision in his hands glows alive with a gentle blue light, a small ice shard forming between his fingers and you find yourself holding your breath. Kaeya looks less impressed than you, a strange emotion written on his face,as he looks from the blue orb, to the ice, to your amazed face.

“It may sound rude, but do you remember who injured you?” Kaeya doesn’t appear phased, slowly blinking, a confusion written on his face, as he looks up in contemplation. “Hm, no, can’t remember anything” You shift a little, disappointment not reaching your face. Was Kaeya lying or not?

“I hope I didn’t mess up your adventuring schedule” Kaeya murmured, leaning a little closer to you.

“No. I planned on spending a week inside the city. Why do you ask?”

“Well” he smirks, “maybe a brave and strong adventurer will lend a hand to poor injured me and”, you felt your face slowly heating up “escort me to Good Hunter, the food here is abysmal and maybe your company and decent meal will clear my head a little”

Only a day later you realized that it was your first date.

***

Kaeya likes challenges, and maybe that is a reason why he’s so drawn to you - you’re smart, just not people-smart, and you have enough intuition to guide you away from the schemes and plans he tries to pull off. Of course, he wouldn’t risk your life or general wellbeing - he likes your presence far too much to do that - but the possible less savory reactions he could gauge out of you were too alluring to miss out - frustration, fear, anger.

Alberich is frustrated - a hunger that was ignited by you grew greater and greater with each day - he wants to see so much of you, see you in pain, see you helpless, see you defeated. Would you cry, would you yell, would you curse at him?

He tried to resist it in the beginning - just as he did when he was still a part of Ragnvindr family - but he failed. Maybe, Diluc’s dismissal of him and abandonment was something that broke Kaeya in the way that Khaenri’ah couldn’t. That rainy day he learned one lesson - everyone leaves, and Kaeya didn’t doubt that you would too.

You are an adventurer after all, as free as a wind. It’s just pure luck that someone as curious and thrill-seeking as you hasn't moved to the other nations in search of excitement.

Kaeya feels threatened.

Over the years, you both fell in the comfortable, but vague place between friendship and something-more-than-friendship,a status quo of sorts. You were a loner at heart - fine with keeping almost everyone at arm’s length and Kaeya, to his disappointment, found that even his charms wouldn’t bend your will.

He could see how uncomfortable yet excited you got, when he showed his less considerate side - when he arrested and fought criminals, when he pulled off his complex plans, when he turned and twisted the words of others to make them scream and writhe and beg. Oh, of course you tried to hide it, your face becoming akin to a mask of stone, but there were other tells - the shine in your eyes, the body language and accelerated breath.

Kaeya also knew what an excitement glutton you are - there is a flame inside of you, needing to consume and devour new tastes, sights, adventures and mysteries. You are predictable in that way, he has a gut feeling that you are wary of him, but the promise of a new enigmatic crime that needs your assistance is almost always enough to lure you back into his arms.

And now he has a new problem at hands - his failed plan. Months of subtle work and manipulation led and were supposed to build up your feelings for this. A public love confession, both sudden and extravagant. Kaeya thought that someone as awkward as you, would cave in under the pressure he would put you through by making his love public.

However you didn’t, even if some, if not most of the onlookers gasped in the shocked disappointment - Kaeya was sure that you two looked like a would-be-couple to the observer’s eye. You stuttered some apologies, hid your face and almost ran away from him.

It grates on Kaeya’s nerves in a special way, annoyance slowly building up. Fortunately, he has a strategy to relieve it, by methodically destroying it’s source.

***

“Thank you, let’s do the next commissions together” you wave goodbye to the fellow adventurer, missing an indiscernible look cavalry captain gives both of you.

Only when the said adventurer leaves, does Kaeya step out of the shadow, his single eyes wholly focused on you. After the confession you started to purposefully avoid him - something that Kaeya thought was possible, but didn’t entertain it enough.

Seeing him is what almost sends you to retreat - relationships are messy, especially after failed public confessions, there’s too much burden now and you never felt the desire to work on any of them leaving everything to take its course. Instead, you stand there, enduring his cold gaze and warm smile, hit by a sudden realization of how childish your thoughts are.

Kaeya must have taken your passiveness as an invitation, as his hand snakes around your shoulder, throwing you off your internal monologue. “[First], I have an interesting case again” he leans in, his breath tickling your neck, “and I need an assistant again, the pay will be like last time”.

In spite of your current discomfort you almost space out, body habitually relaxing near him. “What the thing about?” the cases that Kaeya involves you in are always bizarre and something never seen before, a mystery awaiting to be solved.

He begins describing it to you - a strange string of deaths of young adventurers, all of whom were visionless and most curiously they all died off duty. Young men and women did their commissions, plunged in the domains and fought with monsters, but died inside the city walls, inside their houses and beds, surrounded by safety and comfort.

Kaeya shares that his informant found a hearsay that there were some interesting potions on the black market and he needs you to infiltrate as a visionless adventurer and buy potions, as much as possible.

This evening you leave the city, your heart full of trust for Kaeya, even if your relationship did take a colder turn.

***

You, as Kaeya predicted, still believed him.  Alberich almost felt bad for exploiting and twisting your trust in him , but as he supposed there was nothing more he could do with himself. Your visage filled his head day and nights, sometimes he even daydreamed about the life he would have with you. It would be delightful - to have you underneath his thumb, ready for any whim and perversion he could come up with.

He came to the Angel’s share and ordered a glass of wine, ignoring judgemental stare Diluc pointed at him. He could almost hear Ragnvindr saying “already” and calling Knights inefficient and lazy drunkards. Kaeya happily took a sip of the liquid - all of his plans always carried an element of risk, so the cavalry captain felt a bit agitated. What if you don’t touch the potions? What if the gang will escape with them?

Nevertheless, if you did touch it or not wouldn’t really matter, as catching you red-handed was more important. He needed to make you look guilty - you worked with him unofficially, which meant that no one knew about it, not even Vile. Sure no one would take your word over his, even if you left significant evidence of your innocence, after all a lot of knights are weak to bribes.

He almost hummed, as he imagined things he would do to you once you were imprisoned and completely in his power. He, of course, would save you from the dank dark cell, finding an “overlooked” detail, but not before breaking and molding you a little.

Finishing his wine, he went to the knight’s headquarters, to request the assistance of other knights in the arrest of a dangerous criminal, a spring evident in his step.

***

It was treasure hoarders again, you silently cursed, while dodging one of the attacks. You weren’t the best actor and within the minutes they exposed you. Fighting among the fragile vials wasn’t the best idea, so you moved the fight to the outside. Once they all run after you, you jump over them, raining a constant stream of fire over them. Some of them started to scream, a pure agony written on their face.

Some of the hoarders used a hidden gas bomb, submerging the whole place in smoke and using it to run away. You didn’t run after them, and headed inside instead. There was a significant change: some of the vials that contained transparent liquid now were bright red. You took one of them in and gasped - it felt so warm in your hands - and then you recognized your own elemental energy.

Out of curiosity you reached for the “uncontaminated” one, the colorless liquid rapidly bloomed with scarlet red, as your vision came to life without your command. Was it that deadly potion that Kaeya talked about? You felt how it sucked some of the pyro energy from you, then it must transmit collected energy to its consumer. No wonder all of those adventurers died - without a vision their bodies weren’t used to receiving and processing such amounts of elemental energy.

You tried to take the vials with the “clear” potion, but no matter what you did all of them got dyed in red the second you stood a little closer. Sighing in defeat you collected ones contaminated with your energy and prepared to head back to Mondstadt. You needed to warn Kaeya to take some regular knights with him if Albedo needed samples for analysis.

Suddenly there was a sound of several people running up to you, a Favonius armor coming into the sight. You almost smiled as you saw Kaeya, happy that he decided to help you, until you heard it: “Arrest them!”

[gallavichthings]

This week’s interviewee might be new to the fandom, but she’s not new to fanfiction! Also: have I just found our lucky charm? Hm...

Please send all the love to Heather aka @whaticameherefor​, author of  Hollywood, Lineup, and Dude, where’s my car?, among others. 

GT: What can you tell us about yourself?

H: Hmm, well. I'm a mom to two crazy babies, doing the stay at home thing. But I freelance as a marketing consultant since that was the field I worked in before I had kids. I've been in and out of various fandoms ever since I was a kid, all with different levels of interest, but Gallavich has been the deepest I've ever gotten and I have no regrets about that lol. I'm originally from NJ, but I've bounced up and down the east coast (with a brief stint in London a few times since that's where I met my husband) and I don't think we're quite settled for good just yet.

GT: Do you remember when you started reading fics?

H: It's been years! Back when the internet was new there were these things called zines. Basically like graphics and fics and stuff in a email newsletter. It was I guess what is called bandom now, for as certain boyband, but it was mostly reader insert/Mary Sue kinda stuff which I guess is something all 11 year olds love lol. I read a lot of fic and wrote a little too but that was in the long long ago lol. When I was older I read a lot of Mighty Ducks (the movies), Harry Potter, LoTR, took a break and then rediscovered fic with Bughead/Riverdale, which was the fandom I was in just before Gallavich. TLDR: it's been a while!

GT: I know someone is organizing a Gallavich zine, actually! [@odietamo-gallavichzine]

And is Gallavich the first fandom you write for? What made you decide to write for them?

H: I have seen it! I’m debating participating but I’m super busy and don’t want to overcommit myself. I’m definitely looking forward to it though!

They’re actually the second couple I’ve written for. Like I said, Bughead brought me back to fandom and after reading fic for a while, I wrote a whole bunch of one shots for them. As for Gallavich, I once again read fics solidly for a long time (and watched the show/their scenes a ridiculous amount of times) before I felt comfortable with writing them. They have such distinct voices and characterization and parts of their story are so sensitive and important to so many people, I always want to honor that in whatever I write — whether it’s a silly meet cute or a longer fic or whatever it is. And I decided to write for them because I was craving a different kind of s6/7 fix it/ divergent fic than I was finding. I’ve talked about it before but I just find a lot of them too biased and vengeful and that didn’t feel true to their relationship. It was the longest thing I ever wrote, to this day it still is lol, which I find funny because some people are out here writing chapters the length of fics I write lol. But I wanted to get Ian back to Mickey of his own accord and Mickey out of prison legally so he could be free and they could stand a chance at a life together. And now I can’t stop thinking of story ideas for them!

GT: What pov do you normally use?

H: I think I actually use both of them pretty evenly. For “longer” stuff I have this annoying need to be in both of their heads lol. I can’t not know what they’re thinking! Even in most of my one shots, I tend to go back and forth; only a few of them stick to a single POV, published or not. Boring answer probably lol.

GT: No, not at all, it's all interesting! Do you find one of them easier to write than the other?

H: I wouldn’t say he’s easier, but I think because Ian is a lot harder for people to understand and get right, I think I have something to offer when it comes to his POV that I enjoy writing. Mickey’s fun to write because he’s really external and a character but Ian’s really internal and I love introspection so it’s fun to explore his head lol

GT: What's the best part of writing them?

H: Superficially, I love writing their banter. But I also really love writing about their love. They have such a deep, rich history between them and I love exploring that.

GT: And what's the most difficult thing?

H: Finding the balance between wanting them to just fucking talk and also staying true to the fact that they historically suck at communicating lol

GT: Lol so true

Walk us through your writing process. What do you do when you decide to write something? Where do you get your ideas?

H: I’d say 95% of my ideas are from music lol. Sometimes it’s the story of the song itself or just a lyric or even the vibe of it, just a lot of inspiration from music. When I get an idea, I write everything down in a document — relevant lyrics, dialogue, plot points, etc just so everything is out of my head and on paper, so I don’t forget 😂 If I’m not actively working on something, I go back and add to it when I get ideas until I can focus on it. Bigger fics I outline and break down into chapters, smaller stuff I’ll just word vomit everything out lol. I need music when I write. If it’s inspired by a particular song, I start with that one, and kinda let Spotify do it’s thing. I write and edit sections until they’re where I want them to be before I can move on, I don’t really do a “first draft” at least of a whole chapter. I also don’t really write chronologically. I’ll have the end and sometimes the more exciting bits or the part that inspired the whole fic already done before anything that comes before it, then I add transitions so it makes sense, sometimes whole new scenes will pop up, and then if I must…smut. It’s always last 😂 After I reread/edit/ add on to a one shot or a chapter 50 times it’s off to my beta! Simple!

GT: Simple, she says, as if she's just described something simple lol

What kind of fics do you write most often?

H: I guess a mix. I have some AUs and a few canon compliant fill ins and then the one divergent fic published. I do have a lot more AU/divergent/adjacent ideas in my folder than compliant though so I guess I'd lean that way lol. I don't do anything to the extreme I guess in terms of angst or fluff or smut, although I suppose that's subjective. I'd say my sweet spot is flangst -- fluffy angst. I have some "heavier" stuff planned and I'm working on a WIP that's a bit smuttier than I'd normally do as a challenge to myself. Jack of all trades, master of none or just well-rounded? You decide! lol

GT: Flangst! lol

Tell me a bit about the fics you're working on right now.

H: I’ve got two active WIPs right now — a vampire AU and a Little Mermaid AU that’s sooo close to being done. Other than that, I’m mostly a one shot kinda girl so I have a bunch I’m committed to getting out there. I’m almost done with a bodyguard AU I started for a friend last November and halfway done with a soulmate AU. Other than that, so many one shots outlined and started: s1 missing scene, s3 divergent/amnesia AU, s4 missing scene, s7 divergent getting back together fic, s10 divergent engagement fic, an enemies to lovers F1 driver AU, and a meet in prison AU. I have exactly one multi chapter I have on deck and it’s an accidental roommate fic, but there’s some more to it, kinda fun with some ups and downs. It’ll be tropey, cuz I love those kinds of fics and I write what I want to see in the world 😂

GT: We love a tropey fic. Speaking of, what are your favorite tropes when reading?

H: I love (best) friends to lovers, roommates, supernatural/fantasy, royalty, fake dating, forbidden love, celebrities, mutual pining!!!, h/c, enemies to lovers… probably easier to list ones I don’t like 😂

GT: Alright, go ahead then. What don't you like?

H: Haha I walked right into that one, didn’t I? So, the only one I’m really not into is pregnancy (yes, including mpreg) just because I hated being pregnant, so that’s the last thing I want to read about lol. There are other ones I’m not a huge fan of but anything in the hands of the right author, I’d take a chance on.

(Also, so embarrassed I forgot two of my favorite tropes in my list above — soulmate and ABO! Shame on me 😔)

GT: Hahah, fair enough!

What are some of your favorite fics and writers?

H: Oh boy, this is such a tough question because I could just sit here all day and rec stuff and I do that all the time already lol My absolute favorite fic is The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Ian Gallagher. I can't tell you how many times I've read it because I've lost track and if I could it would be an embarrassing number of times lol. I'd definitely say @goodkwuestion is one of my favorite writers. Lost in Translation is a fluffy fave and I am loving ORFNSP right now too. Promised Land is one of my favorite fics despite it being a perpetual WIP (we do not say abandoned we do NOT) and anomalously another favorite writer. Ian Gallagher And All of His Mistakes is another favorite fic. Everybody Talks is the perfect best friends to lovers AU. Anything by @damnnmilkovich especially CCC and AWIWP. eighty-four by kissteethstainred, Twenty-One series by jaxington, Erasure by @grumblesandmumbles, Is There Somewhere by andchaos and pretty much anything by them too, Love is A Ballfield by and_i_take_it, literally anything and everything by @palepinkgoat​, Two of Your Earth Minutes and really everything by @the-rat-wins​, It's Not The Waking It's The Rising by dodgerbear... I need to stop at some point I think lol. But I've done some lists before with fave fics here: https://gallavichficfinds.tumblr.com/post/613538604425379840/can-you-recommend-fics-for-people-who-are-new-to and authors here: https://whaticameherefor.tumblr.com/post/653717980123922432/do-you-have-any-favorite-fic-authors-for. I feel really lucky that there were so many beautiful fics waiting for me when I got into Gallavich. I love all the fandom classics and the older authors, but it's so exciting we have amazingly talented authors still here or coming back or discovering them now and contributing. I just love reading fic!

GT: Some wonderful gems in there! Including two of my all time favorites, Lost in Translation and Is there somewhere. ❤️

What about your own fics, which one are you the proudest of?

H: Right? I reread LIT whenever I need a quick angst palette cleanser (along with the alien Ian verse.)

I think I’m going to go with Sideways. It was my first multi chapter attempt and my first Gallavich fic. I usually stick to one shots but I just had to fix canon and the story just kinda kept growing. It was everything I wanted to see in a post s6 divergent fic so I’m really happy it resonates with other people too.

GT: I know we all like getting comments, but what kind of comments get you the most excited?

H: The ones that can lead to a conversation. The comments section of fics is where I’ve met so many lovely people, so anything that starts a dialogue about the fic or the show is really great to get.

GT: Do you leave comments as well?

H: I do! Big proponent of commenting. As I said, many friendships started in the comments section and oftentimes it it’s me leaving essays on other people’s stuff that leads to them lol. I also really like to encourage new authors or if something doesn’t seem to be getting the kudos it deserves, I try to give extra love. I love WIPs too, so I try to keep up and comment so authors stay motivated.

GT: That's so important!

H: I agree, and I always like to engage on Tumblr too if they’re here. Whether that’s DMs or asks or whatever. If everyone tries to keep the community alive, the fandom will stay strong!

GT: How did you start watching Shameless?

H: So, I actually saw prison endgame gifs on tumblr from some of my Bughead mutuals around when it first happened. It’s really funny how many people ship both couples. But anyway, I remember seeing the gifs of 9x06 and there were a few that paralleled the 7x10 reunion too and I was just gone on them from that moment. The way they were looking at each other simply ruined my life. I watched all their scenes (a lot) and went down the fanvid rabbit hole before I started reading some fics that were recommended to me. So, I went in fully shipping them already by the time I started watching the actual show. It was on a hiatus mid season so I was all caught up and watched the back half live. I was totally fine with entering a dead fandom, cuz it kinda was at the time, but then Noel’s announcement happened and suddenly the fandom was alive again lol

GT: I wholeheartedly agree!! The fandom died out a lot after season 5 (I wonder why), and I myself stopped watching the show, but I never stopped reblogging people's works and hosting events because to me fandom is not about the show itself, but the friends you've made. I'm so very thankful for all the friends I've made in this and other fandoms and I wanted to continue helping out.

I first saw them on gifs here on Tumblr as well, but that was season 3 lol. Several years ago.

Wow, talk about timing! Maybe you were our lucky charm lol.

What was your first impression of the fandom, being so new to it?

H: I’ll take that title! 😂 I mean, it was definitely kinda dead lol. I tried to follow all the authors I’d been reading but there wasn’t a lot going on. I was okay with it, because I was in love and there was almost a decade worth of fic to read, which is really what it’s all about for me. But yeah, total turnaround after the social media hack — that was an awesome day btw — and it’s completely different nowadays.

I distinctly remember the very few fics that were being updated at the time and active authors and it’s wild thinking about how many WIPs and authors are writing now.

GT: I lived through that cycle several times lol. The fandom got a lot smaller after season 5, then there was a brief revival after Mickey appeared on season 7, again after episode 9x06, and then finally again after they both got back for season 10. I expect it to get smaller again eventually, of course, as all fandoms do, now that the show is over, but I know there will always be people who are just starting watching it. And there's so much fan content now that it's impossible to keep up, which is far from a bad thing, of course.

Do you have a favorite episode of Shameless?

H: If I have to pick a favorite it would be 7x10 Ride or Die because it was just a perfect little episode. Well, not perfect but as a stand-alone episode it perfectly used their history and chemistry and potential and really proved that they loved each other no matter what happened (and would happen.)

GT: Oh, that's a different one! I don't think I've seen anyone pick this one before. What about a favorite scene?

H: Really?! It feels like it’s a fan favorite, can’t believe no one’s said it before! Well, I’ll go for a scene in a different episode so I’ll say the original dugouts date. It’s just so obvious how head over heels they are for each other. Young love 💜

GT: Hm, not that I remember. I mean, the docks scene, definitely, but the whole episode I don't think so. Or maybe my memory is just failing me.

What's your favorite scene from this episode?

H: Bleachers reunion! Like I said, the way they looked at each other after not seeing each other for over a year… the chemistry is just off the charts! And then Mickey says my favorite line: “You’re under my skin.” Goosebumps, every damn time.

GT: That line was fire!!

If you could go back and change one thing in canon, what would it be?

H: I mean… 3x666 for sure. I don’t think I need to elaborate on that answer lol

GT: Well, that one is definitely a popular answer. It was so terrible.

Fun fact, it was the first episode that I got to watch right after airing. 

H: Omg how are you still here if that was the first impression you got!

GT: Lol right? I mean, I binged all the show up to that point in three days, finished on Sunday afternoon, then on Sunday night watched that one. It was a roller-coaster for sure.

What are you thoughts on the ending?

H: Honestly? I was just happy it was over lol I’m pretty vocal about my distaste for the writing the past few years, so I was ready for the end. I didn’t mind the open ending for Ian and Mickey because it was kinda the end of an era for them, living at the house. It was the start of a brand new chapter that was full of possibilities and they absolutely deserve a soft epilogue now. But for everyone else? Come on, give the characters some closure! Give them a direction! So many open ended storylines and aimless characters is not what you want after 11 seasons.

GT: I couldn't agree more.

How do you headcanon their future?

H: You know, I don’t really have anything solid or fancy I guess for them. I think they stay in their apartment for the rest of their lease, maybe another year cuz moving sucks. Then they find a little house closer to home. Maybe expand the business. Branch off with extra side hustles. In like, 5-10 years once they’re a little more settled and financially comfortable, they work on getting a kid, maybe a second one a few years later. A dog at some point too. But no matter what life throws at them, they stay best friends and lovers and soulmates and make everyone they meet jealous of their love 💜

GT: I love that

Alright, that was it from me. Is there anything you'd like to add?

H: I don’t think so… thanks! This was fun!

GT: Ok, so leave a message for your readers, please.

H: Thank you to everyone who’s ever read anything I’ve written. Thanks for commenting and sharing and putting a smile on my face with every single kudos. I hope you guys love what I’ve got coming up, I can’t wait to share them with you 💜

[nothingtolosebutweight]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Thank you, you wonderful human being ♥

As almost always with those tagging 'games' I'm a bit late, but I waited on purpose with this post. It was exactly one year ago today that I published my first fanfiction [🥳🥳🥳], so I'm using this post as a kind of an anniversary recap. 🤣🤓

Thanks to @jackson--t for encouraging me to write my own stories and get them posted in the end. You can love him or hate him for that 🤣It's his fault that I spam the Heavar Tag [I miss you, Smuddy ♥], but also the fault of every reader who left some nice comments or likes. These make me go on and on. Therefore, a big thank you also to you my dear readers and supporters. You have a special place in my heart -right next to Alex and JRM ♥♥

If loving you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right

-> It is not my very first story, but the first one that is still close to my heart. The somewhat crazy Heahmund still has a special place in my heart and sometimes I want to continue writing his story, but it would not end well and other projects always creep to the fore.

Somewhere I belong

-> It was my first multi-chapter story and also the first smut I managed to write. This story has a special place in my heart. I still can't read it again to this day (the cringe is real), but I'm still proud anyway XD I also have a series planned for these two, where they enjoy their affection for each other in different places, and one WIP of it is also quite advanced, but yeah, somehow I got stuck and again, other works took over.

• All Night Long

-> I had so much fun writing this oneshot and to this day it is my best work in terms of reader response (you little filthy animals 😘😘). The smut part could be a bit more detailed. Somehow it feels like they came after 5 seconds...😶

• Under the Night Sky & Part 2

-> It's super cheesy, but that's all the heart needs sometimes. I read it again a few days ago and died a bit of shame 🤣, but still...it's somehow cute. Part 2 was also the first time I put more effort into a moodboard and since then i has become another little sidehobby (which often costs me gray hairs too XD). One of my current WIPs is another part to this. One with a lot of blood and first shy explorations. I also want to let Heahmund be shy in this part when it comes to sharing intimate touches with another man. In most stories, he knows exactly what to do, but he's only had sex with women before and didn't have Google in his time to research how to do the same with a guy. Therefore, he must also slowly feel his way forward. Let's see how far I /he get/s ☺

• Heaven's just a Sin away

-> Also still proud of this one. I usually post something and then don't want to know about it again for a while, but this story I can reread almost without cringe. That means a lot for me 🤣 I am especially proud of the first part. But it also makes it kind of hard for me with current projects, because I compare everything to it and then don't feel it's good enough.

Dear readers,

what story have you enjoyed the most so far and what would you like to read more of in the future? If you don't want to answer it openly, you always can slide into my askbox. I provide masks to maintain anonymity 👹👺💀🤖 and if you don't want it answered in public, just add 🔒 to your message and I wont post it :)

[nythberryy]

Hold Me Tight (Erwin x fem!Reader)

I wrote an Attack on Titan fanfiction (oneshot) in which Erwin Smith is a real gentleman.

Words: 2955

Warning:

The story contains 18+ scenes and builds up slow.

-They'd known each other for a long time, yet none of them confessed until that rainy night.-

It starts a bit sad, but trust me, it ends well. 💞

It's my first story written in English, so I apologize for grammatical mistakes and cringe writing.

I hope you’ll still find it enjoyable. 💞

(I also posted it on ao3. You can find me there as: NythBerry)

Thank you for your time!✨

September was usually gilded by the last sunbeams of summer, however that day was colder than usual. As clouds gathered, the sky turned grey. Raindrops began to knock on the red tile roof just to then fall and soak the ground. It was raining all day without a break. Everyone from the city struggled to get through the mud. The carts couldn't fight it, the horses neighed as they tried to push forward. Wooden wheels crackled, some even broke in two.

A tall man walked into the guesthouse. Water was slowly dripping from his clothes. With each step he made, he left a puddle on the freshly washed floor. (Y/N) recognized him in a blink of an eye though his face was covered by the green hood he was wearing. He stopped at the counter and revealed his face. His blonde hair, that was always slicked back nicely, now was a mess. Wet strands fell on his forehead.

(Y/N) put down the mop and wiped her hands to greet the man. "Erwin!"

"Good evening, (Y/N)! I'd like to book a room for tonight."

"What happened to your trousers?" it was covered in mud to the knee "Is it that bad outside?"

"It's raining quite heavily" he said "I don't think I would be able to go back tomorrow."

"I'll prepare a room for you. Just sit down please. There's no one here anyway, except an elderly couple upstairs. Do you want to drink something warm? Tea maybe?"

"Tea is fine, thank you."

Erwin took a seat in front of the counter and watched the woman placing the teapot on the stove. She quickly ran into the pantry and returned with a basket full of baked goods. She put some on a plate and gave it to the man.

"How's your father?" he asked while (Y/N) wiped the floor again. Her father owned this little guesthouse that once was famous.

"He's alright. But I'm afraid we won't be able to afford his medications. Less and less people can afford to book a room and we simply can't make the prices cheaper. I don't really know what to do."

"Don't worry, (Y/N)!" a kind hoarse voice appeared from behind. It was her father. "Welcome, Commander Smith! What brings you here again?"

"Good evening!" he greeted back. "Just another budget negotiation. As usual, the government has no intentions of increasing funds."

"As much as I want to support the Scouts, I unfortunately see why they don't want to do so in moments like this." Her father was in the regiment before he retired. Erwin and he shared similar views on the importance of going beyond the walls. "(Y/N)! Go prepare a room and find some clothes for him."

While she went to search dry clothes that would fit the commander, the two man began to talk about a different topic.

"I know why you visit this place so often" chuckled the father as he opened a bottle of whisky. He poured them both. "I see how you look at her."

For a moment Erwin didn't know what to say, which was quite unusual of him. A small smile curved his lips. "So, you found out my secret."

"It wasn't that hard to figure out. I have eyes. It's that simple." he sipped "You've known my daughter for years. Since when...?"

"It's one of those things that just can't be put in words. It was four years ago, that moment I realized I wanted to see her as many times as I could."

"Why didn't you tell her? You're afraid I'd bring the rifle? Or maybe you're more afraid of her? You think she would reject you?" he smiled "I can tell she has feelings for you too. Haven't you noticed how excited she is seeing you? She's not even looking at other guys, though she's in the age of marriage. What will she do when I'll be gone? At least you, as a commander, would make a great reputation for her." he joked "She'll be left alone like the last leaf on a tree before winter begins."

"That's why I won't tell her. I don't want to cause pain." he grabbed the glass and drank from it "To be honest, I don't even know if I'll be here next month. There's just no guarantee." he sighed "But I'm a selfish man. I still want to see her every time I'm near her. I'm truly the worst. I can't give her happiness, only suffering. I don't want (Y/N) to lose more people."

(Y/N)'s father knew Erwin was right. Her mother passed away, when she was fourteen; lost many loved ones when Shiganshina fell. Childhood friends, friends whom she trusted the most, old neighbours she liked and nearly all relatives of their family were gone now.

Both men knew the feeling. Without further words they agreed and sat back quietly.

(Y/N) heard the conversation. When she heard that Erwin had feelings for her, she thought her heart was going to break through her ribcage, like a desperate bird ready to be free. However, as he continued, her hearth shattered into pieces. (Y/N) pretended she didn't hear anything and told the blonde man his room was ready. He stood up and walked towards the stairs where she was standing.

"Change into these" she gave him the dry clothes "I'll knock on your door in ten minutes."

...

"Can I come in?" she asked. Erwin replied with a yes. (Y/N) walked into the room catching a glimpse of the commander's chest while he was buttoning the last button. He picked up the soaked clothes from the chair and held it out for (Y/N).

"Thank you for taking care of me."

"Erwin..." she began faintly and grabbed his arm "We need to talk."

"About what?" he looked surprised.

"I heard everything and-"

Erwin interrupted. "You don't have to worry about it. I won't do anything." he shook her hand off.

"You don't even want to know how I feel?"

"What would it change? You should find someone better. Someone who can be there for you. Someone who's not selfish. There're many good men out there."

"What about my choice? You think you can make decisions for me?"

He put the clothes back on the chair. "I don't want to put you through hell."

"It's already hell." she said with a slight hitch in her voice "You have no idea how long... How long I've ... Erwin..." Tears welled up in her eyes and rolled down her cheek.

It pained him to see the woman, whom he loved the most, looking so defeated.

"I love you, Erwin!" she cried out "And nothing can change that."

It snapped him out of his stubbornness for a second. He gently pulled (Y/N) into a hug, placing her head on his chest. The feeling of his warmth and beating hearth was pure heaven.

"I want you. Only you."

"(Y/N), I can't give you happiness."

"What it is at all?" she sniffled. "There's no such thing as that... It's not a destination you can arrive to and stay there for the rest of your life. Happiness is a temporary state. It comes and goes. And... What defines it anyways?

"I still don't want you to get hurt. Especially because of me." he paused for a bit "I could die at any time. What if I go on a mission and never come back?"

"You think I don't know that, Erwin? Every time you go out the walls I worry, but... Did you know that in this awful world you're the one who keeps me alive?" she pressed herself against his comforting chest "And what about you? You think you don't deserve your so-called happiness? If you have feelings for me, why don't you..."

As she looked up, her eyes met with his. Tears were coming to his sky-blue eyes.

"Are you sure, (Y/N)?"

"I am. I want you to hold me tight and never let go."

...

Erwin placed his hand on her face caressing her cheek gently with his thumb. He leaned closer to kiss her forehead, then gave another kiss on her nose making her blush. Finally, he pressed his warm lips against hers. He sucked her lips slowly, evenly, as he was dining something sweet as nectar. She was his delicate flower.

His kiss was subtle and tender, however a wave of heat flushed through him causing to kiss more passionately. Erwin slid his tongue across her bottom lip luring her mouth to open for him. His tongue swirled around hers composing an intimate, sensual dance. A slight moan escaped from (Y/N) in response. She slid her hands up his back, running her fingers through his soft blonde hair. As a result, he groaned, and the urge to pull her hips against his grew. As much as he wanted to devour her, he had to resist.

The commander pulled away, only to realize that he wasn't the only one getting excited. The woman's body was filled with desire too. He watched her chest rise and fall hastily with each breath she took. He couldn't help but admire the beauty that was in front of him.

"You're gorgeous, (Y/N)." he held both of her hands and placed two gentle kisses on them "If we don't stop now, I won't be able to hold back. You're driving me crazy."

"I feel the same. I want you, Erwin."

Their lips met once again. The passion they felt had been buried in their hearts for years. The man possessed her lips claiming every centimetre of it while she held onto his strong shoulders tightly. Erwin guided her slowly to the writing table, not breaking the kiss even for a second. He lifted her up and placed her on the desk.

The commander's lips travelled down her neck and goose bumps flooded her skin tilting her head to the side. He tucked her blouse out of her skirt to slide his large hands under the fabric. When he touched her stomach, a sudden thought startled her. What if she's not good enough?

"Erwin... The candles..."

"I want to see you" he whispered in her ear.

"But..." she grasped his shoulder.

"No buts. You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. No one can compete with you" the man kissed her cheek "Can I take your blouse off?"

She'd been deprived for far too long of this man who now was standing right in front of her. She nodded, and looked away in fear of what he would see might disgust him. Erwin took it off her and freed her breasts from the undergarment.

"Look at me, (Y/N)." he begged and with a bit of hesitation, she did so, finding his sparkling blue eyes, so full of love and excitement, staring down at her. Meeting his gaze, she smiled sweetly before closing her eyes as he inclined his head. He also pulled his hips tight against hers. "You did this to me, (Y/N)."

He laid her down gently on the wobbly desk and his mouth was on her breasts quicky, conquering all of it. His fiery tongue played with one of her nipples while the other was held in his hand. Next, he travelled lower and lower, down to her stomach, only to find the skirt in the way. She felt a sudden wetness between her legs.

"Can I?" he asked for permission. She nodded. She ached for it.

He removed the skirt and her shoes too. Erwin placed a kiss on her beauty through her panties before he pulled it off and trailed it down her leg. He kissed the hill again and ran two fingers down on it.

"You're soaking already, (Y/N)." then he started to explore her slit with his tongue "You're so sweet, my darling."

He sucked on the folds a little, then parted them to make his way up to her clit which he tickled wickedly. With a finger he began tracing circles around her entry. Shortly after, he slid it in. (Y/N) flinched a little, letting out a moan. After he realized she could take more, he added another one.

She enjoyed it greatly. She grabbed Erwin's head, ran her fingers through his soft hair while pulling him closer to her hips. She wanted more. Erwin was surprised by her action, and began to lick and move his fingers more passionately. Her body was burning in explicit heat. A sudden wave of extasy rushed through her and he was proud seeing his efforts paying off.

The man straightened up to hurriedly rip his shirt off and throw it on the floor. (Y/N) was mesmerized by his well- built form. She wanted to touch it, so she sat up to lean closer. She explored each muscle with her finger, even caressed his hard nipples. She travelled further down to his pants. Hearing the sharp intake of breath as her fingers lightly touched his sensitised flesh made her wanting Erwin even more.

"If you touch me like that I might..." Erwin's mouth left an excited hiss as she pulled down his trousers a little.

He stepped back to take it off along with his shoes as well. As he tugged down his underwear, his rock-hard, massive manhood revealed.

"Well..." she said in surprise "That is a titan."

He couldn't help but giggle. (Y/N) glanced up, seeing him smile at her with a sweet, sensuous smile. He stepped closer to possess her lips and lift her up from the desk just to then put her gently on the bed.

He was on top of her. The woman's breast against his chest while she wrapped her legs around his trim waist made him lose it all. He wanted to be inside her.

"(Y/N)" he sighed "Can I?"

"Yes, Erwin!"

He began to trace her entry in circular motions with his member. Softly, he placed the tip inside. She moaned in pain, feeling it tearing her walls.

"Are you alright, darling?" he asked with worry in his eyes.

"I'm okay. It's okay" she caressed his clean-shaved face. "Go on, my commander."

Their lips joined again, while he grabbed her hips and plunged deep inside her. He waited a little so she could get used to his size. A couple of minutes later, he began to move gently, sliding in and out gradually going further and speeding up the rhythm. As he heard her sweet moans, felt her warmness and tightness around him, he fell into an abyss of pleasure. Erwin couldn't tame his desire anymore, finding himself thrusting into her with an enormous intensity. He couldn't get himself to stop now. He wanted her.

Erwin grunted and groaned which she found immensely sexy. The pain already faded away, endless pleasure and joy replaced it. His thick hands made their way up to her breasts, grabbing it with more and more greed.

"I love you, Erwin" she cried out.

"I love you more."

Shameful sounds filled the room and the man increased his speed to the maximum. (Y/N) latched onto his shoulders and buried her head into his chest, trembling hard against him. A wave of pleasure started to hit them both. She tightened around his manhood, and he couldn't hold on any longer as she continued to clutch. The unbearable yet wonderful torture of being lost in her made him release his seed inside of her. It was an indescribable feeling being filled up by the man of his dreams. They remained like this for a while, panting heavily.

Erwin pulled out of her but didn't let go as he wrapped her arms around her.

"I'm sorry." he said, stroking her hair.

"For what?"

"For loving you so badly, that I lost myself and couldn't hold back."

"You're so silly." she chuckled "I enjoyed every minute of it."

"Can I clean you up?" he asked placing a gentle kiss on her forehead "I've made a mess down there"

She nodded and the commander put his underwear on. He brought a wet towel and sit back on the bed. He gently spread her legs to wipe her womanhood. Then he softly stretched her entry with his finger. Erwin blushed as he saw his liquid oozing out of her.

"Erwin?" she noticed the rosiness on his cheeks.

"Nothing..." he said looking away "I apologize."

"No need to." she sat up giving him a quick little kiss on his pink cheek "I love you!"

"I love you more, (Y/N)"

...

Morning came shining its warm, golden sunbeams. All the clouds were gone and she was in his arms, all his and he would never be so foolish to let her go. She opened her eyes, only to get lost in his sky-blue iris.

"Good morning, love!" he caressed her face.

"Morning, Erwin..." she yawned and quicky realized, that she should've been up a long time ago. "My god! I should be downstairs! What time is it? Oh! And I haven't even washed your clothes!"

"Shhh..." he stopped you from jumping out of the bed by hugging you from behind "No need to hurry. It's only six thirty."

"I wake up at five!"

"You're open at seven..."

"Yes, but there's work to do. Buying things from the market, breakfast to prepare, cleaning..." she counted on her fingers.

"It can wait. Just stay with me like this for five minutes"

"Then hold me tight, Erwin."

She couldn't resist him. She was lost in his alluring presence whenever she was with him. It was pure heaven to be in his loving arms.

The end

[jarofstyles]

Fan Club

A/N: This story.... it’s very near and dear to our hearts. We have a total of 7 parts written, 80k words total. It is our take on the PR relationship trope, mixed with Harry gets with a fan trope. It’s full of angst, full of sweet moments and smutty moments alike. We LOVE these two, they are quite literally our children. It is a bit more personal for the reader in some aspects, we know we have all imagined what it would be like to be with Harry at some point, so this goes out to you. We made Y/N of Russian decent in this one, just to make things fun ( and because we wanted some representation for our Russian babes out there 🤧). All in all, we are extremely proud to present Fan Club to you, we hope you enjoy ✨✨ - n + d

send feedback and requests here 

masterlist

pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: angst, glimmers of fluff

word count: 11.2k

It was hard for Y/N to explain how she ended up in this situation. Fake Dating international popster, Harry Styles. To be honest, it was all a bit of a crazy story even for Y/N. She couldn’t believe it either. Y/N was a simple girl with simple taste. Her older sister, Katya, owned a bakery called ‘for goodness bakes’ that’s been open for about 5 years, Y/N has been working there alongside her. She spent most of her time at the bakery, having just graduated with a degree in business marketing. She liked doing things most 22 year old girls liked doing: fun makeup, nights in with wine and romcoms, and of course being a fan of Harry Styles. 

Since she was 12 years old, she had been a fan of One direction and well... Harry was always her favorite. She initially fell for his preppy appearance, but ultimately fell for his charm and quirkiness once she fell deep into the fandom. And she did fall deep. She had a stan account on every social media platform, she bought merch and multiple copies of albums, and even wrote fanfiction on wattpad. To say she was a big fan was an understatement. 

About a month ago, Harry’s team had reached out to her via the email of her bakery. They had seen the post that she made, a picture of herself with a kiwi tart with the caption, ‘it’s none of your business.... unless?’ and had asked if they could have a meeting with her at their headquarters. Obviously, Y/N agreed to this meeting, thinking that they might want her to cater an event or something. But no, they wanted her to be his ‘girlfriend’. 

They had explained to her that they had been searching for the perfect candidate who was not only a fan, but was also just a regular everyday girl. They said they liked her aesthetic and felt like she would suit Harry well. Her background in business marketing meant that she would be good at knowing what to post and her being a fan meant her love for him would be believable. The fans and media would eat this story up! It took Y/N a moment to comprehend what they were asking her to do, but they started bringing up numbers and Y/N couldn’t say no. This would get her and her sister out of debt and could pay for so much new equipment at the bakery. This sum of money could change her life. Plus, she’d get to fake date her idol? It seemed like an offer she couldn’t pass up. So she signed the contract. 

That’s what landed her here, waiting patiently at the door of Harry’s secret London home where his manager Jeff said to meet the two of them to discuss the plan from here on out. Her heart was beating extremely quickly, wanting to keep things cool. She didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, she wanted him to like her and trust her.

Harry hadn't started off jaded. Granted, most didn’t. They had the sparkle and excitement. But Harry had lost it. Years and years in the industry, from when he was a teenager to present, it had ruined it for him. That excitement he had previously had been watered down immensely. A lot, actually. But he was mostly tired of the things that came with the job— not music itself. 

Harry loved music. Making it, writing it, performing it. He loved his fans. But he hated what came with if. The people who constantly wanted things from him. Not a moment of privacy when he was out and about— though that had gotten better as his fans grew up, honestly. The media blowing up and twisting every bit of his words to fit their own wants. The fact that anyone he was seen with was a potential love interest in the eyes of the media. How they scared off and ruined good things for him because of it. He was tired of that. Every person who came to him made him wary. What was the motive? What was the reasoning behind them coming to talk to him? Fan or someone wanting a photo just for their Instagram? He wasn’t sure. 

Relationships had been hard and for now, he’d basically sworn off of them. After the bad ending with Camille, he had decided to take a long break. Until the label said he should probably have a PR move, one unlike his previous ones. One involving dating someone posing as a fan. A regular person, without his level of fame. Someone relatable to fans. Or that’s what Jeff has said to him. At this point, Harry was used to being tugged around with his dating life so he agreed. Did he want to? No. But he was under contracts and he wasn’t going to fight something so stupid. It would be a few dates, hanging out. Right? He didn’t even have to talk much to her. 

He was far too aware they probably offered her a good amount of money. Most likely why she was even there. So when he let Jeff open the door, he was annoyed with himself. 

She was pretty. Fuck off. That’s how he felt. A lackluster wave was given to her, a nod as well as she sat down across from him at his oak dining table. Cute. Pretty hair, soft cheeks. Petal pink lips. If this wasn’t a stunt he would probably think she was a lot cuter, though. 

A wave. 

Years worth of build up for this moment and all Y/N had gotten was a wave? She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Y/N offered him a smile, a shy but genuine one before looking over at Jeff. Obviously she had known who Jeff was, how could she forget the iconic ‘help me Jeffrey!’ Quote. The hundreds of photos of them together. It was surreal, but her shock surprisingly helped her stay calm. 

“Alright! Harry, Y/N. Y/N, Harry.” Jeff smiled at her, knowing Harry wasn’t happy about being here. “So have you been properly briefed about what’s required? It’s a lot more than we would usually ask of a project like this, a while longer.” He said. Harry looked at him in question. What?

“Yes, they gave me a brief outline at the meeting I went to but nothing too specific. They said you’d go over that here.” Y/N answered, pushing a few pieces of hair behind her ear. “Oh?” She asked, knowing she had signed a contract for a year. It was a long time but she assumed everyone was in it for that long. Y/N really didn’t know how PR relationships worked, she just assumed things about them through what she had seen on the internet and what all the stans were saying. She never really believed that people did things like this, but clearly, they did. 

Y/N looked over at Harry once again, taking any spare moment she could to really take him in. He was just sitting there looking so fucking perfect. An angel in the flesh. This was the man who had sparked her sexual awakening, who had taught her to be a badass bitch and to be kind to everyone she met. She knew she wasn’t his type and that this wouldn’t really end up like a fan fic, but she couldn’t wait to at least become his friend.

“Wait— how long?” His voice was deep and rather cold, but he wasn’t aware it was longer than usual. Granted— his own fault. Jeff said to look over the contract and he had just signed. It had been so many years of reading contracts he was tired of it. 

“A year. There’s a clause to extend it if need be, or shorten after 8 months.” Jeff shot him a look. “But that’s only one of the differences. I know you’re tired H, but get it together.” He sighed, rubbing his temples. “Y/N here is the perfect girl next door. We found her to be perfect to do this with you. But it’ll be different because it’ll be a confirmed relationship. All other stunts, they’d been left to interpretation and never spoken about them. Blacklisted questions in interviews, etc. but we’re going with the narrative of you both being quite comfortable talking about it. Y/N won’t have to admit much considering she has her own life and job outside of this, but you’ll be talking about it in interviews. About this lovely girl who made you rethink how you went about relationships.” It was odd. A whole storyline for their relationships. 

“We know how to work this. You’ll both first be photographed together downtown. Harry holding your hand, Y/N. And then we will plant things in each of your social media posts to hint at it. Seemingly innocent but, a tattoo of his in the background. Wearing a shirt he has recently worn. His journal. All of those things.” Jeff explained the beginning of it. “From there, you’ll be more open. Post photos or do those Instagram stories your bakery is good at, Y/N. Have his voice in the background. Be photographed out and about. Simple things, grocery shopping. Y/N will come to your small gig, Harry. Hang around with your mum, and wear one of your rings on a necklace.” He would buy one and wear it for a bit before giving it to her so there was proof it was his. “When we get into it... we’re thinking cute Instagram posts from both of you. Open. Affectionate. A bit of an acting job. You’ll both be good at it though. I am confident you both can handle it.” He wasn’t sure how nonchalant Harry was seeming, though. Y/N seemed uneasy with how out of it Harry seemed to be and he didn’t blame her. 

“That’s quite a lot more than I bargained for.” Harry spoke again, sighing. “I suppose if it’s necessary for the numbers. I don’t know why I can't just do a meet and greet or something but. Okay.” He muttered.

Harry’s voice didn’t sound like the Harry Y/N knew. It was rather rough and not in the way she had grown to like it. It made her look away from him quickly, not wanting to piss him off. Maybe he was just having a bad day? She couldn’t really blame him. She was sure having all these fake relationships probably sucked. The tasks seemed fairly easy. Y/N knew that the team would be there to remind them about things and well, if she got to hang around Harry all the time, it really couldn’t be that bad. She really wanted to get to know Harry and hoped that he wanted to do the same. It would be more fun that way.

“You know why. Y/N is perfect. The fans will love her. She’s gorgeous, but has the girl next door stuff about her. Plus, she’s very nice. You’ve been lovely, Y/N.” Jeff turned to her, attempting to comfort her.

Y/N really needed to stop giving Harry the benefit of the doubt. He just kept proving her wrong. The tension between Harry and Jeff showed that Harry really wasn’t on board and it made Y/N feel strange. She thought that Harry had agreed to this and knew all the conditions, she didn’t think this was something that was sprung on him that he didn’t really get to think about. She smiled shyly again at Jeff’s compliment, looking back at Harry to try and read him. 

“I’m sure it’s weird having some stranger come around to be your girlfriend and all, but it’s just as new for me if that makes you feel better.” Y/N really wanted him to like her. Like really wanted him to like her.

Harry wasn’t sure what she was playing at. What she wanted. If it was more money or fame or whatever. He wasn’t sure exactly why she was doing this either besides for money. Whoever wanted to do this for fun would be absolutely crazy. 

“Thanks.” Harry nodded stiffly. Half of him didn’t like treating her coldly, but the bigger part was terrified of getting hurt. If she was using him for more money. Going to ask him to introduce her to someone else. No one ever liked him for him. They liked the things that came. The attention and money, luxury that was thrown at him. It was never for him or his love or jokes or interests.

Sure, people pretended to care but he knew far better than that. People didn’t care. They used him as a step stool to get what they wanted. Means to an end. Just like his last relationship that had really hurt him. 

Okay so he didn’t like her. Cool. Y/N couldn’t say it didn’t hurt because it definitely did, but she couldn’t sit here and cry about it. Y/N had come to this meeting and signed a year long contract and there was no getting out of it. So she sucked it up, looking back at Jeff who had explained what he wanted them to do. 

“So what we’ll do is have you both take photos of things today. Harry, you take a photo of your new guitar and have the flowers in the background. Y/N, you’ll take photos of the flowers and have just the bottom of the guitar on the counter.” It must be shocking for someone who wasn’t in the industry to see how this was so calculated.

“Would you want us to post them at different times then?” Y/N questioned, assuming hers would be uploaded first. If she posted it before Harry people would be more likely to connect the dots that the two of them were together. Well, that’s what Y/N would think as a fan. Being a fan and having a fan’s perspective would really help her in these situations because well, she knew what they wanted to hear and what they would think based on what she posted. Y/N felt like she could fully manipulate the fans to think whatever. It was quite simple really.

Y/N’s main account proved that she was a normal girl who also happened to be a Harry stan. She followed Harry on all the socials, but he probably would wait to follow her until they were public. That would make more sense. They needed to build up the story.

See. Harry wasn’t aware that she was a fan fan. There were plenty of people who went to his shows and shit for Instagram photos and videos. He didn’t even know her socials though so he didn’t check. It was maybe a little shitty of him to have a preconceived notion about her when she hadn’t barely talked to him, but he knew so many people who wanted to be in her position. Wanted to ‘date’ a celebrity until they found out that they have to travel with them and have to deal with fans and other people wanting your significant other. 

“I’m thinking not too far apart. Take the photos today but... hm. You post first. And then Harry will later. It’ll have people looking later on when they see the flowers. Fans are so insightful and research thoroughly.” Jeff was sure she knew that though. She’s had a fan account. “I have to go take this call— Harry, why don’t you tell Y/N about the album?” He excused himself then, going out and into the other room. 

No, no, Jeff, don’t leave. Y/N sighed to herself, nervous as all hell to be in a room with Harry alone when he had made it clear that he didn’t really want anything to do with her. But maybe they could talk about his album like Jeff suggested? Y/N loved his music, she often played it at her bakery. She was excited for the new album to drop and had genuine questions about it. 

Harry felt a bit on the spot but he just shrugged. “S’almost done. Don’t have a title yet. Choosing the singles soon I think.”

“That’s exciting.” Y/N smiled, “would you say it’s within the same vein as self titled or did you go in a different direction?” She asked not wanting to sound like an interviewer but this was a genuine question. God this was so uncomfortable for her, she wanted to run away and cry. She never thought that her idol would make her feel so uncomfortable in his presence. She was in his home and he clearly didn’t want her there, clearly didn’t want to have a fake girlfriend, and he was letting her know that pretty obviously whether he knew it or not.

The thing is, Harry knew he was making her uncomfortable but he didn’t really know how to stop it either. It wasn’t like he wanted to be fake. He didn’t want this. He wanted to be left alone with his music and his fans. Not a pretend fan posing as his girlfriend. That wasn’t ideal. No, he would much rather have real conversations with fans that weren’t paid to sit in his house and pretend to be interested in his music. He knew that Jeff wanted him to play nice though, so he answered the question vaguely. As always. 

“Different. A lot of different influences I guess. A lot of different things I wanted to make. It’s fun to do it.” God, Harry was being bland. But his fears drowned out the guilt he felt. Yeah, maybe it was harsh. He knew that. But he also knew that he would regret it if he didn’t. Who knew what this chick would spill to the press later on? What she would want from him! What else she would ask Jeff for.

“Well that’s good. I’m glad to hear it was fun.” Y/N nodded at his answer, feeling discouraged because he really didn’t seem like he was going to warm up to her no matter what she did. Y/N didn’t want to ask anything too specific in fear that he’d think she was a crappy fan, and well, she didn’t know how else to get him to warm up to her. These tricks usually worked on grumpy customers at the bakery. 

She wanted the earth to swallow her up. She was so embarrassed. She was just sat there, praying that she could leave soon so she could lock herself in her room and cry. The worst part was, no one, literally no one, could know about this relationship being fake. There could be no loose ends. 

“Again, I’m sorry about all this. Can’t imagine being in your position...” Y/N showed genuine empathy for him, attempting to get him on her good side one more time. Y/N wouldn’t give up on being kind, after all, he was the one that taught her that. It was just strange that he was acting this way towards someone he was going to be working closely with. Maybe this was just how he treated people professionally. He wasn’t mean, but he was cold. Y/N was still a fan at heart though and despite how he treated her she still would give her life for him. She loved him, cared for him, and would genuinely support him. It made her wonder if his whole nice guy persona was even real.

The hell? Why was she apologizing? Harry thought. She was the one getting paid for it. If he wasn’t in this position she wouldn’t be getting paid well. He wasn’t sure why this Y/N girl was trying to be so nice to him. No way in hell she could possibly imagine his annoyance. Perhaps she was a nice person or something, usually. But he was pretty positive she wasn’t rich and definitely did it for the money. It made him wary of being close to anyone when they were in this situation. Any time he had made friends with past stunts, they’d faked being truly wanting to hang out with him. Once it ended, they weren’t interested in hanging out when people couldn’t see them. It had hurt when he realized it was a pattern. 

Jeff came back in with a smile, but not oblivious to her sad face. Harry would get chewed out after, for sure. “Alright! I need you both to exchange numbers so you can communicate about meeting up. It’ll be pretty frequently.”

Y/N looked at Jeff with a small smile, nodding her head before pulling her phone out and handing it to Harry. She had changed her lock screens to something a bit more ordinary. After all, she didn’t want Harry thinking she was creepy or anything. Hanging out with Harry is something that she should be excited about, but suddenly the idea of it kind of scared her. Being alone and struggling to make conversation because she was just that intimidated by him. It was making her rethink all the years that she had spent fangirling over him. He didn’t know she was a fan, maybe that’s why he treated her the way he did? If he knew would he be fake and all over it? She didn’t want to know. 

“My days off from the bakery are Mondays and Wednesdays. But I know you probably have a set schedule so just let me know and I’ll work around it.” Y/N offered, genuinely wanting to show both Harry and Jeff that she was more than willing to cooperate. She wasn’t sure how she would get herself out of this one.

Harry sighed as he put his number in. God, he hoped she didn’t sell it. He didn’t want a new number. Someone had sold his number to fans before and it had sucked. As much as he adored his fans? He didn’t want them calling him every second. He was hesitant in handing her his phone. It was something he didn’t trust many people with but she tenderly took it and typed her own number in. Didn’t even try to snoop which was good— but then again, he was looking at the phone in her hand. 

Y/N was gentle with Harry’s phone in her hand, typing in all of her information into the contact so he didn’t have to ask. Something told her he would be annoyed having to asking her for her address if need be. So she just put everything in there, her birthday, her email, her phone number and the bakery number, as well as her address. 

“Monday’s and Wednesday’s work with him. He’s recording Thursday Friday and Sunday to give the voice a rest. Has some writing sessions he will take you to.” Jeff was annoyed as hell at Harry’s lack of kindness. He’d have to give him his own brand of talking to, but wasn’t sure if it would do much good. He was quite a stubborn person. An Aquarius at heart.

“That’s good. Yeah, I don’t know if you’re a morning person or if you like getting your sleep so um.. yeah just text me.” Y/N spoke kindly, still trying her hardest to be as accommodating as possible. To Y/N it wasn’t about the money, sure the money helped, but it was about giving Harry fans someone they could genuinely look up to. Y/N was a normal girl. She had normal sizes, normal tasks, normal likes as a human. She was a kind person. The fans would quickly find her information, quickly find out that she is a fan and would quickly see that Harry was finally dating someone that represented them. They had wanted someone like that for years, but too bad it was all fake.

Harry understood the context of it. He was going to date someone ‘normal’. Not in the world of the famous. Which in some cases, Harry wouldn’t mind. But there would be tons of things Y/N wouldn’t understand. What to be quiet about. Who to talk to and who not to. Privacy. Things she wouldn’t just... get. He had been in this life for 10 years now. It was his normal. And Y/N would have to learn it all and keep her mouth shut. 

“I am. I get up at 6.” He usually did. He could sleep in but he wasn’t the type of thing he did often. What she didn’t know was he had an awful time sleeping and needed to take stuff to help him. His mind never stopped, was always going. There was a lot Y/N didn’t know about him. He would do his best to make sure she didn’t find out.

It was hard for Y/N, continuing to be kind, but to keep herself from crying. She felt so out of place and so unwelcome, god she hoped that he would warm up to him. Maybe this was a terrible idea? Too bad she was in it for the long haul now. 

“Jeff, I have a question.” Y/N spoke up shyly, “obviously people don’t know anything about this yet, so there isn’t a microscope over my life just yet. I want to make sure I take all the precautions I can to keep my privacy to an extent, but also don’t violate Harry’s.” She genuinely was worried about that. She didn’t want to say too much or do the wrong things, she also didn’t want people finding out where she lived. Where she worked, sure, well... she probably would have to stop working at the bakery if things got too hectic. Y/N looked at Harry once again, a soft and gentle expression on her face. She wondered what it was about her that was making him act this way because this wasn’t the Harry she knew, not at all. All she wanted to do now is go home as quickly as possible and cry. She really wanted to take her posters down, really wanted to hide everything but frankly, everyone would question why she suddenly took things down. Y/N had to continue to keep her cool.

Jeff’s face softened. they’d lucked out with this one. Harry was an idiot when it came to things like this, put his blinders on— he knew well enough. But Y/N would help his career. Hell, maybe she could be his friend and help him come out of the funk he had been in with trusting people. 

Harry didn’t let it show on his face, but he was impressed with what she said. It didn’t change much, but he had it on the back of his mind. No one else had to think of these things before because they’d just known, but the fact that she had asked was nice. Time would only tell if it was genuine, though. 

“That’s a good question— I was actually about to ask about your social media. You’re going to need to change passwords. Verify everything twice. Take any potential tracking information away like the whole location finding on your phone so your friends can find you. Any social media accounts not reported to us originally in our first meeting would need to be shown. I suggest doing a deep clean and moving things out of it, as much as you can. Not enough to make you look like you did it on purpose. But... think of what you’d look for.” Jeff knew Y/N was a fan so she would have a similar brain.

“Okay yeah, I’ll need some help with that.” Y/N blushed, looking down at her hands. She had reported all her socials to them, yes, all of them. All her fan accounts and her main accounts. She wasn’t sure how to turn off all the tracking things or what to take down. She wasn’t problematic in any sense, so it wasn’t like she had any content she needed to delete. But it would probably be things like taking locations off of photos and turning off her location on snap map and for any of her friends that had her on there. She had actually done the latter this morning. 

“Also, I really don’t intend on telling anyone about this unless you give me the go ahead. So please, if there is anything you need me to do, let me know?” Y/N really was trying to think of everything here. She wanted to make sure this was seamless because she knew the fans would be like hawks over another fan being Harry’s girlfriend, if they found out it was PR they’d be crushed. Their whole image of Harry would be ruined. They needed to make this as real as possible. Y/N had so many suggestions, so many insights on what it was like to be a fan. She definitely wanted to speak up about anything that could potentially ruin this because well, this was Harry’s career and they couldn’t be caught doing this.

“Perfect! You’re going to do well with this, Y/N.” Jeff had been the one to find her so technically, this was his finding. He hoped that she could get Harry to realize how weird he was being. Because ultimately? He was a nice guy. He loved his fans, his friends and his family. Strangers scared him. He didn’t know who to trust and that made him act strangely. His team knew it. He was always polite to people he worked around but when it came to people invading his personal life, getting close? He said, no ma’am. “I’m happy that you’re aware of how it works a little. It makes it a bit easier. Harry here has had a few almost disasters with these types of things.” Jeff smirked at him, making Harry grumble and blush a little bit. Fuck. That wasn’t something he liked talking about too much. “Anyways... Y/N, we need you to be yourself. That’s why you were chosen, yeah? Just continue on. Be less active on that other twitter account of yours for the moment.” He had a whole plan for that. “Don’t stop completely but... I’ll send you ideas of what to tweet. Keep it vague but that you’re excited.” 

Harry didn’t know about the fan account. He would have, if he had read any paperwork, but right now he didn’t have a clue. 

They wanted her to be herself, which shouldn’t be too much of a problem. She just had to be aware that Harry was in her life now, consistently. He was her ‘boyfriend’ now. That’s something Y/N never thought she’d say. But here she was. 

“Okay, can do.” Y/N nodded, already knowing not to tweet as much on the fan account because well, she wouldn’t be doing that if she was hanging out with Harry. It would be hard for her not to tell anyone but she knew she had to do it. This was her duty as a fan to the fans, to make them feel represented and loved. “And what’s the story? Like how we met?” Y/N asked, feeling like that was important to know as well. She mostly asked for Harry’s sake because he clearly didn’t read the contract or the emails that had been sent around on the topic. This was an important first meeting, she assumed Harry wouldn’t want to hang out with her today but they probably would sometimes next week.

“Well, we wanted to leave that up to you. I had the idea of you both frequenting the same coffee shop— and before you both roll your eyes, I know it’s a fan fiction trope and I know that. But it’s believable considering Y/N doesn’t have any true connection that would be explainable to the music or entertainment industry.” Jeff explained. “If you have better ideas, Y/N, please feel free to tell me. However— we are trying to show this as you both fell for one another quite quickly. You both are very fond of one another and are around each other quite a lot.” He knew that Harry would be hard to deal with so he was definitely going to be offering Y/N some sort of bonus. “I think after the photos, we will have you both photographed leaving a dinner together next week. You’ll go with both myself and my girlfriend so it won’t be just throwing you two into the water.” Plus, he didn’t want her to be alone with Harry like that out in public without experiencing it first with him there. Jeff felt slightly protective of her, too. Like a little sister. “Also, I know you already said he’s but being clear— you’re okay with hand holding and physical touches in public with him, yeah? And for photos?”

Y/N laughed at the idea, “I mean that does work.” She said shrugging to herself. “But do we have anything to back that up? Have we ever been to the same coffee shop at the same time where someone who works there can confirm?” Y/N was really thinking about every detail here. “Jeff you’ve been to my bakery before haven’t you? Could just run with the fact that we became acquainted and you introduced us?” She felt like that was far more believable and paps wouldn’t have gotten photos of Jeff anyway so the story was contained between Harry’s team and her bakery. Her coworkers wouldn’t know who Jeff is, it was really fool proof. Also, did he say dinner next week? Wow, that was fast but she would be ready. “Where is dinner going to be? Just want to think about what I should wear.” Y/N blushed, wanting to make sure she looked nice for their first encounter together. Something very her but very consistent with something Harry would like on a girl. Y/N had been following Harry for ages, she knew what kind of outfit to wear based on what kind of restaurant it was. A casual dinner outfit for Harry was quite dressed up, so she’d probably end up doing a bold trouser, heeled boot, and plain blouse combo.

“Actually— that’s a good idea. I didn’t think about the staff thing. This was definitely done at the last minute so I’m not on my A game right this moment. Wonderful— lets do that.” 

Harry didn’t know anything about her, he realized. She worked in a bakery? He did when he was younger. He wasn’t sure if she knew that or not but it did make him a tiny bit more interested in her. Why would she do this? There had to be a real reason. He was positive. 

“Actually— Harry, go in there a few times this week. Make it somewhere people know you go. It’ll be believable that you found a new place and love it. And some of her coworkers will catch on, so on and so forth. I can call a tip, perhaps tomorrow? I know it’s starting early but we are on a schedule.” Jeff noted.

Harry was going to go to write tomorrow, but that obviously wasn’t about to happen. “I guess so. I can make time.” He had a pretty free day otherwise but it still annoyed him. However he was hoping there were good treats. Harry was a good actor when it came down to it. He hoped she could tell— didn’t want to thrust her about with his actions. In public was acting. All of it.

“And yes, about the touches and stuff. As long as it’s something Harry would actually do in public, yeah.” Y/N explained, knowing Harry was relatively private when he was in relationships. He didn’t do much PDA and she’d be okay with anything he was okay with. “Just um, let me know what’s okay.” It was a bit nerve—wracking, having to do all of this and make sure everything was sorted. Y/N knew a lot about Harry so she was positive that it wouldn’t be a problem, she’d only learn more. It was Harry that had to do a bit of learning about her. He would find out most things about her fairly quickly, she was an open book. 

“What type of baked good do you like?” Y/N asked, genuinely curious. “I’ll have some for you come around, pack you a little box.” She blushed, expressing something to him that she had always wanted to do. She knew he was a baker back in the day, maybe they’d bond over it?

Her coworkers would be shocked that Harry would be there considering Y/N was a massive fan and they knew that. But that’s when Y/N would tell them about it all. “You want me to tell my staff what exactly?” She wondered, “that we are kinda sorta seeing each other? Or that we’re just seeing how things go?”

“Uh— I like lemon things. Ginger cookies. Scones.... anything really.” Harry said quietly. It wasn’t said as coldly as the last couple words had been. Maybe it was because of baked goods? Regardless.... he was hoping that said bakery was good. He was obviously going to pay for them. 

“He also loves red velvet cupcakes.” Jeff piped up. “But I think that it’s a lovely idea, being familiar with what he likes... you’ve been so smart.” She really was. It was almost scary. Jeff approves immensely. Even Harry had to admit it was surprising to see her full of good ideas. “I think you should say you’ve been seeing one another. Not sure about where it will go but you really like him. Trust me— Harry here will be able to make them believe he’s very into you. His ability has made it so we’ve never been caught doing this thing. Not like that Camila and Shawn couple. They’re having leaks all over.” He winced. Their poor PR.

Y/N smiled and nodded at him, already having in mind what she would have ready for him when he came. She had an incredible lemon bar recipe and some other bits. Of course red velvet cupcakes. “Red Velvet are my favorite too. And carrot cake.” She commented, blushing once again. It’s true, Harry had been very good at all the PR relationships. She’d soon find out which ones were and which weren’t. She was determined to be the most coveted of them all though, the one that stuck out and actually stuck around hopefully. But she was positive that she’d fall for Harry’s act, hell, she’d fallen for him a long long time ago. “My staff is really tight knit, my sister runs most things actually. I trust they’ll keep things on the down low if I ask them to.” Y/N nodded, knowing that nothing would slip past her team unless instructed. She had a good feeling about all of this, they seemed to have most things under control. Y/N would help tie up loose ends that fans might think of and as long as they followed her lead, it would work.

“If you feel as though your sister can truly hold a secret, you can tell her. It wouldn’t be fair if you didn’t have someone to lean on.” Jeff said. He trusted her enough. Harry looked at him suspiciously. 

“Wait— hold on. What about an NDA?” Harry asked hurriedly. “We can't have any bit of this shit going out.” He was scared. So scared of someone finding out and thinking he was some damn fraud. 

“Harry— it’s fine. I’m sure she had enough sense to judge that a sister would tell or not. It’s up to her, anyways. Just remind her of the immense legal action that could take place if someone were to talk.” Jeff shrugged, knowing that Y/N really did know. “But we’ll have a tip called in about a bakery he’s been rumored to go to— no way that they’ll know if it’s true— and they’ll probably take shots through the window. We can escalate later during the week to him picking you up from work to bring you home. Something like that before the dinner.” He thought out loud. “Thoughts? Y/N?” Harry has been quiet. He didn’t like these things so he didn’t say much. Just let them plan whatever and wing with it later on. He was kind of shut down internally.

“I’ll think about it. But I’m still apprehensive to tell anyone. I wouldn’t want this getting out regardless... I wouldn’t want fans to lose trust in Harry just because I decided I wanted to tell my sister.” Y/N explained, knowing she’d probably tell Katya if it got too intense, but for now, she wasn’t saying anything. “Seems fine. I think once a week or maybe twice a week is more than enough. Don’t want to over kill either. Essentially, if he’s in the area he can pop by.” Y/N explained, thinking that was the best way to go about it. “I know you said we are on a schedule but you don’t want it to look unnatural either.” She said and sighed as she looked over at Harry. 

He really didn’t seem to like this and she understood but she hoped that he would loosen up even a little bit. She wasn’t a terrible person, all he had to do was ask. Y/N was pretty much an open book. “Is there anything else?” Y/N asked, eager to get things done and maybe chat to Harry a bit if he was willing before going home.

“I don’t think so. We’re going to try and take it as it comes so we don’t overwhelm you.” Jeff was the main talker and Harry was kind of just sitting and watching. Trying to read her. Either she was a very good hiding person, or she was good. Either way, he didn’t trust her. Lots of people had seemed sweet and generous and fun when he had first met them only to turn out to absolutely wreck his fragile heart. He knew he was fragile that way and he had given people the benefit of the doubt one too many times. He didn’t trust his own radar anymore. The more Harry looked, the prettier Y/N got— which was infuriating. It pissed him off internally because she had the type of lips every man wanted wrapped around their cock, and beautiful legs he had seen when she walked in. He never took women for granted, would never disrespect them, but his initial reaction was arousal and that made it even worse with his trust issues. Her eyes were soft and doll like but had a sharpness to them that he was far too aware of. She was smart. Incredibly so. And she was curvier than he usually dated— or was seen with, actually, because he had a few one nighters with girls that was far bigger than Y/N and he had loved it. He liked her body. It was a perfect mix, he thought. And then got annoyed about even thinking about it. Damn it.

Y/N nodded, “Alright, thank you very much. I’ll um... I’ll take the picture of those flowers and I’ll get out of your hair.” She chuckled apologetically, sensing that Harry really just wanted this to end and she would give that to him. He made her so nervous, now more so because she was scared of making him angry with her. Harry had always been someone she didn’t want to get on the bad side of. Harry was so nice to everyone that it really made her upset that for some reason he had singled her out and not liked her. It was disappointing. But I guess people were right when they say, never meet your idols. In many ways, Harry was Y/N’s ideal man. She liked how driven he was, how multi talented he was, how charming he was, how he was unapologetically himself. Plus he was scientifically proven to be one of the most attractive men on this planet next to ryan gosling. It was a shame that a lot of the things she had thought about Harry originally would slowly crumble as she got to know him better. It hurt, but she’d keep that hurt to herself. Just because the illusion was ruined for her didn’t mean it was ruined for everyone.

Harry felt bad, because she seemed to be in a hurry to leave. It was what he was supposed to want, so why did it make him so uncomfortable? He hadn’t wanted for her to be upset. Just... to keep her distance. She had these baby eyes and soft cheeks that looked sad and he wanted to give her a reassuring smile but he was trying to remind himself that there was potential danger here. Most likely she was a wannabe actress. Testing it out on him. Made sense. 

“Okay.” He nodded, standing up. When he did so, he realized he was quite a lot taller than her. Usually, he had models who matched his height. But she was smaller. Cute. He hadn’t experienced that before. Knocking that thought out of his head, he took the photo of his new coke bottle green acoustic, letting the flowers show in the back before he rested it back up against the counter. Y/N took her turn with her picture, taking a bit more time than Harry. Probably a better result too, and he wished he had patience at the moment.

A ping of sadness spread over her, she thought maybe he’d pretend to try and get to know her a bit but nope. All hope was lost then and Y/N went to take a photo of the flowers in a way that would fit her personal Instagram aesthetic. She usually posted shit like this so it wouldn’t be too out there. Once she was happy with the photo she had slipped her phone back into her pocket, looking at Harry and Jeff with a small smile. 

“Well, um, thanks for having me.” Y/N started off, pulling on her jacket. “And I’ll see you tomorrow?” She asked Harry with a small tinge of hope. He had said he would visit her bakery but she was still worried he wouldn’t show up. She felt so small. Being who she is, she went in for a hug anyway. Both figuratively and physically, Harry had intimidated her and she was weary about every move around him at the minute. Maybe she’d get used to it. “It was nice to meet you, Harry.” Y/N gave him a genuine smile, feeling even more shy now that she was so close to him. 

This would be torture.

Harry was a bit startled, but relented and hugged back. It was a bit weak, but he gently patted her back. God damn it. Why was she acting so sweet and nice and innocent? He would almost rather her be truthful about her wants of money and fame. It would be a lot more tolerable. 

“You as well.” He pulled back, face neutral. Thank god he had gotten his hard on down a decent amount. Never would he live this down. He didn’t just get hard for no reason. That girl had bamboozled him and was trying to trick him and wouldn’t let it happen. When she left, Harry continued to stare at her back before the door shut. And then he was promptly slapped upside the head by Jeff. 

“Ow! What was that for?” He hissed, rubbing the spot he had been smacked. Jeff Gave him an incredulous look, shaking his head. 

“You idiot. You’re going to scare away someone who will ultimately help your career and relationship with your friends.” Jeff scolded. “That girl is nothing but sweet. She’s doing this for you, and you know why. She’s a kind person and you better not make her run on us early. Do you want the press to get wind of it? She could talk, if you really treat her poorly. Looked like a damn kicked puppy when you wouldn’t talk to her.” He got his dad face on, crossing his arms. 

“You’re going to have to suck it up. Regardless if you actually like her or not, you’ve got to be decent to her. She’s stuck with you for a year.” Harry was irritated with that. Stuck with him? Although... maybe he was accurate with that.

Y/N tried her best to keep her tears at bay, putting on some music that would keep her energy up until she was in the comfort of her own home. She had been as discreet as possible leaving Harry’s secret London home. To the public, he lived somewhere in Hampstead which was actually closer to where Y/N lived in Camden.

After about an hour on public transportation, Y/N had finally made it back to her cozy flat. Tears immediately began to form as she unlocked the door, sniffling as she took off her coat and threw it to the ground with an absent mind. She ran to her room, storming to the bathroom to grab a roll of toilet paper. She needed to be prepared. How could someone she looked up to so much been such a dick to her? She could understand he didn’t trust strangers, but he truly made her feel like she wasn’t even worth basic human respect. Y/N was trying to be as kind as possible to him despite him being such an asshole to her and even still, he gave her a weak hug and response. As if she was a chore. It made her feel sick to her stomach. So she cried for a while, showered, got cozy in bed and went to sleep. She had early mornings at the bakery seeing as everything was freshly baked. So she was up at 3:30 every morning to make sure she was ready for their opening at 7.

----

‘Hello. I am coming in at 9:30. H.’

Harry looked it over. It wasn’t too friendly but wasn’t too rude, right? He was overthinking. Y/N had made him think last night. He hoped he hadn’t hurt her too badly, because while he did see her sad eyes he thought he was making it up in his head to try and feel bad for her. Jeff has confirmed it and made that ugly feeling in his stomach crawl into his throat. He sat and thought about how to make it so they were at a distance, but she wasn’t too hurt. Every part of the scared side of him said to continue his actions, though. He wasn’t being mean. Right? ‘Wrong. You dick.’ The other side of him told him. Conflict was something he saw all too much of in his life. He knew too well about the issues at hand. But he had always taken it so he wasn’t sure how not to prepare for it. 

Pulling up to a quaint little bakery, Harry smiled to himself. It was cute. A punny name. He liked it. Somewhere he definitely could see himself going randomly if he had seen it. Parking his car across the street, he sat for a moment and gathered himself. Now to prepare for being cute to her.

Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t smile at the text. She had always imagined getting a text from Harry and here she was getting a text from Harry. It wasn’t anything special, but it was to her despite how sad he had made her yesterday. She had dressed herself in a baby blue sweater and overalls, putting her hair up into a messy yet contained bun. All that crying yesterday made her eyes fairly puffy so she made sure to do some fresh, no makeup makeup look. She wanted to look cute if he was coming. 

“What’s gotten into you this morning?” Katya asked, seeing Y/N’s giddy mood. They were currently baking everything they’d prepped yesterday, putting out all the freshly baked breads, bagels, cinnamon rolls, and donuts. 

“Dunno, just... happy I guess.” Y/N smiled, saying it in a way that would raise questions. Perfect, get her thinking. Her excitement was genuine. He was going to come and see her and be sweet to her, it was like a whole new interaction between the two. Best part was, she could just play out everything she imagined in her head. It was a perfect set up. Jeff was so smart with getting a fan to do this.

“Hm. We’ll see. That looks like a boy smile.” Her sister really had no clue. Everyone knew she was a big fan, and would be absolutely floored when he came in. 

Harry sighed against his steering wheel, he put on his big boy pants and decided to get a move on. Today, he wore a loose white button up with a few of the buttons undone, black trousers and red boots with ‘sucker’ on the back of them. He had been sent the whole collection and did quite like it. But his pea coat was unbuttoned, car keys stuffed into the coat pocket after locking the door. The little bells chimed as he walked in, and he took a look around. It was very cute. Instagram worthy, some would say. It smelled really good too, which was a plus.

The earlier morning rush had passed, kids now at school and parents now at work. The rest of the day really consisted of prepping more goods and serving whoever came in. Y/N really liked working at the bakery, it was her safe space to be creative and feel good. She liked to spread the message of kindness she had learned from Harry into her store everyday. 

There were a few people in the bakery when he came in, sitting drinking coffee and doing work. They hadn’t really noticed who it was, and even if they knew they didn’t seem to care too much. Y/N popped her head from out the back and smiled widely when she saw him, walking over to the register so she was closer to him. 

“Good Morning, how can I help you?” She asked in a teasing tone, that giddy grin still on her face. Y/N was going to let him take the lead, letting him choose how this interaction would go but of course Y/N was going to turn up the flirt factor so that anyone surrounding them could tell there was something going on between the two of them. “You look nice.” She hummed.

“Hello, love.” Harry felt a weird gushy feeling in his stomach when she had smiled so widely at him. Fuck. Y/N looked so pretty. Hair perfectly messy, lashes long and eyes wide and glittering. Her lips had a bit of gloss or something along those lines and he wondered if it was flavored for a moment. “You do as well. Like the color.” He did, and that wasn’t even a lie. He loved the color and how it complimented her skin and hair. Made her eyes pop out. “I would really love a cup of coffee... and a hug.” 

Though she was surprised, the look didn’t stay long on her face. Instead, he was met with a gushy smile and a crinkle of her nose, “can do, yeah.” Y/N hummed as she rounded the corner to come give him a proper hug. Closing her eyes as she snuggled into his chest for that brief moment.

God. Harry was fucking himself over with this, and he didn’t even know why he suggested that but his heart twinged when she looked surprised for a moment, but beamed like a ray of sun before rounding the corner. Her apron was taken off and he decided to take the initiative and hug her. It was a friendly hug, held for a bit too long. Her body was warm, warming him from the cold he had felt outside. Her cheek pressed against his chest which had been bare since he had forgone a few buttons, and his mouth felt dry. He hadn’t had a decent hug in months by anyone but his mother. Pulling back, he brushed a tendril of hair away that had escaped. 

“I came to see if you’d be so kind and give me some pastries.” Harry spoke quietly, making the moment look private— even though he had heard the choked gasp and the whispering going on behind them— her coworkers. It was sweet really, the two of them clearly excited to see each other, but also not wanting to draw too much attention to the fact that they were like that. It was perfect acting. 

Well, she wasn’t acting. Y/N looked up at him with enamored eyes, the smile never leaving her face as he even spoke quietly to her. 

“Of course, how many are you thinking?” She asked just as quietly, biting her lip a little as she hesitated to move back behind the counter to get his coffee going. “Black coffee yeah? For here or to go?” Y/N confirmed, knowing that he didn’t take cream or sugar in his coffee from being a fan. She’d just say Jeff told her. 

Her coworkers were bewildered, Katya’s eyes nearly popping out of her socket as she watched the interaction unfold. Y/N giggled at them, shaking her head as she went to get a box for Harry’s goods. 

“What would you like? Anything you’d like, on the house.” Y/N told him, standing behind the massive glass cases full of baked goods. “Lemon bars, red velvet cupcakes, and anything else?”

“Absolutely not on the house, I’ll be paying. Nice try though, pet.” Pet was a good nickname for her. She was a responsibility— but a cute one. Even if it burned his ass to think about her like that. But right now? Y/N was plenty cute— and she acted very, very well. Harry almost believed this true excitement. Thankfully, he found that he fed off of that energy from her acting. “You already know? Impressive.” Harry looked at her with a gentle smile. “Yeah, the coffee black. Lemon bars, the cupcakes. Hm. Throw a few random cookies in there too. I’ll be going to write for a little while.” That was good to do, right! Throw in a daily activity. He felt his mind was off when he was around her. It went a little crooked, was the best way to say it. He got distracted and honestly? It was kind of infuriating. He supposed it wasn’t her fault, unless she was secretly a siren and singing a silent song. Or had a spell attracting him to her, even though he was fighting it hardcore.

“Hey.” Y/N pouted when he refused her offer, “let me do something for you.” She said firmly because she meant it. A few baked goods and some coffee cost her nothing in the long run, but she wanted to do something nice for Harry because all the fancy dinners and experiences about to come were something she’d never be able to repay him for. Y/N packed everything up in the box, even adding a cute little note that said ‘tell me which was your favourite — Y/N ❤️ xx’. She put it into a paper bag and set it on the counter next to the cup of coffee. She was actually quite excited for him to try them, she wanted his opinion and frankly she knew they were damn good. 

“Long day ahead of you then?” Y/N asked, referencing him writing. She was genuinely asking because she cared, wishing that he was comfortable enough with her that she could come and give him a cuddle when he got home. What was she thinking? This isn’t real, he’s acting. And she’s meant to be acting as well.

It did strike him off that she didn’t take the money. Or the offer of paying. Usually people say that when they want it anyways and just expect you to insist, but she really didn’t seem to care about it. Which... was suspicious. While the bakery was very cute, it definitely wasn’t high end. He could tell they needed some new chairs and definitely some updated paint but he thought it added to the charm. Maybe they truly couldn’t afford it? He was curious as to what the hell she spent the money she was going to get on. 

It was true that the bakery was a little bit worn, but with the money she’d be getting from this contract halfway through? They’d be able to afford closing for however long they needed to renovate. Y/N has even wanted to buy the space upstairs as well and host small acoustic gigs for local musicians. 

“Uh.. I mean, a little bit. I’ll be writing a bit and then going to a very boring meeting.” It was the truth. God, how was he going to be able to focus? Harry was fighting a battle internally with how it was with her, trying to read things and find warning signs but it was hard. She was scary. Not in an outright way— but the way that. If this was real! If he had just walked in and met her at the coffee shop and didn’t think this was acting? He’d give her his number. She had an amazing charm around her that he was positive she had to know about— though acted as though she didn’t. “I hate to cut it short, pet. But I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?” He took hold of her smaller hand and squeezed it, before stuffing a hundred pounds into the tip jar. He turned around before she could protest, only turning when he got to the door to shoot her a wink. And as soon as he was out the door, he heaved a heavy breath. Christ. Why?

“Aw well, text me if you get too bored.” Y/N gave him a cheeky smile, leaning on the counter a little bit so she was closer to him. “Have a good day, pet.” She teased right back, smirking as he started to walk off. He really didn’t have to put a hundred pound note in there, that was flexing a bit, but it was very nice. It would go straight towards the bakery as it normally did.

3..2..1…

“What the actual fuck was that?” Her sister came storming over with wide eyes. “Y/N— that was... he's all over your walls. He has been on them for years and now he’s callin’ you pet?” She was shrieking but for good reason. Harry bloody Styles came in and hugged and flirted with her sister, they seemed to know each other well enough. It was incredibly shocking and Y/N hadn’t said a damn word to anyone. She used to stay up to watch his tv show appearances— hell, Katya was 99% sure she still did. But now? “You guys have each other’s numbers.... Y/N, you can't be for real.” Her eyes were wide as she looked at her blushing sister. Anyone would be just as freaked out. Harry was not only a celebrity, but she had seen the times she spent hundreds on tickets and had photos of him as her lock screen— which had mysteriously disappeared.

“Yeah, yeah he is.” Y/N giggled, blushing deeply as her sister looked at her in awe. Her sister knew first hand how much Y/N loved Harry. She had watched how Harry single handedly saved her from the darkest of times, how genuinely happy he made her. Hell, she even went to a show with her once just to see what all the fuss was about. Y/N wrapped her arms around her sister in a hug, squeezing her tightly because she really appreciated how excited she was. Her poor sister was convinced it was real and Y/N couldn’t break it to her. Couldn’t tell her Harry was actually really cold to her and not anything like that. 

Truth is, Y/N had a really shitty love life. All her ‘boyfriends’ weren’t really boyfriends and Harry was sort of the one thing that kept her going. She just dreamed about what she wanted, dreamed about how Harry would treat her better in hope that one day maybe, she’d meet someone like him. 

“His manager, Jeff. He comes here a lot you know... and he um, he introduced the two of us.” Y/N explained, being her shy and coy self. It was 100% believable.

----

Harry went to the writing session and found himself writing about her eyes. Bright eyes and lush thighs and every bit of silky hair he wanted to wrap around his hand. He had very dirty thoughts about this girl and it translated in to paper. 

Harry had to go home and jerk off. And it was embarrassingly quick. He thought about how her sweater had dipped down and he’d seen the swell of her breasts, imagining taking her back behind that counter and fucking her sweet cherry mouth and watching his cum drip from her lips down to her tits. Knowing that in his fantasy world, she’d be walking around with his cum on her— and that was quickly done. 

The guilt he felt after though? It was annoying. He was so cold to her but wanted to fuck her raw. So in that guilt, he went up to the kitchen and tasted a lemon square— nearly fucking moaned. It was so good. He knew it was part of the whole thing to go there, but he wouldn’t be complaining because if he got those every time? He would be set. 

‘Lemon square is good. Thanks. H.’ 

It was dry but also a compliment, so he didn’t feel so bad for using her face in his dirty mind.

Y/N was about half way done with her day when she got that text from Harry, smiling a bit because he actually decided to text her. Sure she left a note, but he didn’t have to text. That was a private thing that they did after all. 

‘glad you liked them 🍋’ 

She wondered why on earth she felt so fucking happy. He had just popped in for a brief interaction but it made her whole day fly by. Before she knew it she was closing down the store, locking up to head home. “You going to see your man tonight?” Katya asked curiously and Y/N blushed. 

“No, unfortunately. But we’re going for dinner next week with his manager and his wife.” Y/N told her, knowing stuff like that she could tell her. “Might hang out tomorrow though cause it’s my day off, but he’s a busy man so I’m not sure yet.” Even hearing herself speak about Harry like this was so strange, but she’d get used to it for sure.

--------------------------------------------

[part 2]

A/N: Harry :( why he have to be like that?? better hold on tight for this one - n+d

let us know what you think!

masterlist

[writingeverynowand-then]

Christian girl II.

Okay so i decided on the name for our gal here in this story to be ‘Grace’ kind of religious kinda cute ;) , truthfully I saw this in my drafts and was like ‘omg this is hoottt’ and I am very aware that i wrote the first part of this story years ago, so i might be out of touch with the initial chapter, still i hope you guys enjoy <3

She woke up to the feeling of fingers playing softly with her hair, she opened her eyes not believing she’d fallen asleep, her breathing increased once her eyes landed on him. The cripple Viking that had touched her inappropiately. 

“I wanted to see you before we leave” He announced, she frowned, looking for answers in his deep eyes.

“We are leaving?” She questioned seeing as was only looking at her body, lusting after it.

Her heartbeat increased and her blood got warm, he produced all of this with just one look.

“Yes” His lips found their way to her earlobe just like yesterday, kissing it, his tongue appearing every now and then, his way of making her sin made her loose her mind.

She wanted to hold him closer but was too afraid to do so, she was relieved when his other hand held her by her thigh, strongly and close to her center, the moan that escaped her mouth was glory to his ears.

He liked her sounds.

He had ordered to get her hands and feet untied. Someone had brought food and water to keep her alive, for he inteded to have his way with her.

Make sure she would think about him for the rest of her life still unable to speak about the sinful things he did to her body.

He made his way down her neck, licking it, biting it, being completely messy, wanting to consume everything pure out of her, leave his mark everywhere. She moaned and with courage, put her hands on Ivars nape, bringing him closer, his hand started to slowly rub her clothed pussy, immediately she started to grind on his hand, empty for his touch, that made his erection grow harder.

“uh..Iv, Ivar” She started to moan once his mouth found it’s way to its favorite place, her breasts, he was wildly licking her right nipple, holding her on top of him by the waist with one hand, and the other still touching her as if there were no layers between them.

She was so lost in his touch, how could something so delicious, so natural be a sin? She was ecstatic, if this meant being a sinner, then she wanted to be the biggest sinner there ever was.

Her clit was being teased with, Ivar knew exactly where to touch her to make her insides burn, her breathing was erratic, she was moaning and breathing in his ear, getting his dick to be completely hard, urging him to start fucking her like he had dreamed of.the night before.

“Off with the dress” He lowly ordered, and it got her even more wet. She bit her lip and nodded, her mind ruled by desire.

She got her dress out of the way and helped Ivar taking his trousers off. She was surprised to see the big bulge trying to get out of his undergarment, she  had never seen one before this close, she looked at Ivar who was staring at her, studying her every move.

“May I?” She innocently asked, Ivar had no idea what she would do but he nodded at a loss of words, he needed to penetrate her, to get her to moan uncontrollably like before. She soflty layed her hand on top of his dick, that alone did it to Ivar, her touch was so hot, slowly touching it from the beginning of it to the tip, making Ivar experience the slowest hand job he had ever gotten, it was driving him mad still it was very sensual.

For some reason he let her do it for a couple of times.

She was now taking his undergarment off, and he took control once more.

It caught Grace by surprise how strong his arms were, he got her on top of him, his dick resting on her back, he pulled her down by the neck and started to kiss her, starting to grind her, she started doing the same, lost in how sensual it was that he would bite her lower lip and then push his tongue down her mouth, conquering it.

He then lifted her up, and got his dick in her entrance, she stared at him biting her lip, and without anything else she felt him enter her, so big, so out of the blue, and hitting the right spot, she swore she saw heaven, he started to thrust and she met him everytime, he had found the perfect rhythm, and she was going crazy, he was hitting the spot of pleasure she had never found before, Ivar brought her close again to put his mouth in his favorite place, her breasts.

The noises were so obscene, wild, wet, licking, moans, and his grip on her was so tight she knew it would leave a bruise but she didn’t care.

Her body was made for this.

She kept riding him she felt a wave of pleasure coming over her, Ivar got off of the look in her face and thrusted even faster, trying to reach her orgasm, he bit her nipple once more as his orgasm took over his body, listening to her moans in his ear made the waves of pleasure come faster and he finished cumming inside of her.

---------

Later that day.

The Vikings were ready to leave this village, it wasn’t important to them, they took what they wanted and were ready to find somewhere else to raid.

The Christian girl was in Ivars tent, and as some of the vikings were picking things up to leave, they were ready to get her, to bring her to their homeland.

“Leave her”

“What? Prince Ivar?” She questioned surprised.

“You thought i cared for you?” He smirked, powerful yet not merciful like she had been tought people with power were, “You fool” With that he laughed and left Grace to fend herself.

Now the rest of the men were making fun of her, saying how unfortunate she was, surely there were more vikings coming in to raid her little village, and all they would find would be a dumb christian girl.

----------------------

A/N:

*no proof reading has ever been done in this blog

*I know i asked for request and then didn’t write them, i’m so sorry, i’ll get to them ;)

*I was reading draco malfoy fanfiction, yes even though i’m in my twenties i still wish i lived in hogwarts and did the dirty delicious naughty shit with draco baby, and because a lot of it (the fanfiction i mean) was written by 14 year olds it’s pretty shit (i’ve read my own stuff from ten years ago and it was shit too, also holy fuck i’m old, that is embarrasing) i decided to come back to write my own stuff, i saw this in my drafts and was like fuuuck i used to write hot shit, so here we are!

*hope y’all liked it, leave me some love and i’ll do this more often

*thank ya for reading, love you <3 <3

*hope you’re safe and healthy and so is everyone around you!

*also i have two exams tomorrow, and here i am writing porn bc i could not care less hehe

[dancer-me]

Fic Writer Questions

@hopeintheashes tagged me (that was pleasantly surprising, so YAY) as well as anyone who wants to play (so if you want do - just do it!!!) 1) How many works do you have on AO3?

I have nine!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

106,461! I broke 100,000 on AO3 and didn't notice =O

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

For posted fanfiction, I have written for 5 fandoms at this point. Naruto (this was my early days, around 2007 to 2015, with pretty huge gaps inbetwen), Merlin (oops), High Seas (just the one small fic because Netflix had me angsting hard enough to break my hiatus), and of course 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Express to Nowhere (911 / 911 Lone Star) 2. Giving up Ground (911 / 911 Lone Star) 3. Quarter Life Crisis (911) 4. Pull me Under (911) 5. Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You (911)

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I hesitate to say this about a WIP but I'm pretty sure it's going to be Giving up Ground when it's done. Not that it's going to have a sad ending, but that it's part of a continuous series and I already have the next part planned out and partially started (titled "Overdrawn" for anyone interested) so it will leave things feeling hopeful but open-ended, which can be construed as angsty. But really, all my other stories, while they have angst for the most part, have happy endings because I'm a sucker for it. Chaotic Energy is slow burning itself to the happiest of endings.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmm... I think it's Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You! This story was just such a fun blast of drama, hijinks, and hilarity, with our two leads getting their love story at the end of it all :) All my completed works have very happy endings, but this one resonates because there really wasn't any angst at all in the whole thing. Just good fun!

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

The only cross-over I have ever written or been compelled to write in my life has been with 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Lone Star, and that's my Chaotic Energy series. I don't know if it's "crazy", though it's turning out to be crazy long, since my original plan for it was 5 separate one-shots and Captain, that ship has long since sailed. We're deep at sea now, SOS. I love what it's become, though, and I hope everyone who reads it is enjoying the journey :)

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Weeeeeeeeell. Here's the thing. I wrote m/f smut back in the day, on ff.net and carried my one shots over to AO3 when I made the move. I'm talking way back in the day - those two "E" stories are dated 2015 but I actually originally posted them in 2011 - TEN years ago!! I haven't written smut since (I'm not counting TK and Carlos getting frisky in chapter 2 of Giving up Ground). It's not that I wouldn't, but that I haven't been inspired and with time somehow I have also become ragingly self-conscious over whether I could still do a good job. My smut has always been emotion based though, as I've never been able to truly go PWP. That said, I'm actively open to and considering some m/m smut for my current fandom. Fingers crossed I don't embarrass myself.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do on all my recent work on AO3 (basically my 9-1-1 and lone star fics that I've written since coming out of hiatus).

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on any of my AO3 work, though I have received hate on my much older work on ff.net to varying degrees of reasonability. So far the AO3 community has been very kind to me! I’ll get some comments where I think readers had hoped I’d go in a different direction, but nothing has ever been too much.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! Imitation is the greatest form of flattery but also no, stop, don’t do that.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, actually! I wrote my first ever published fic for Naruto called “Stand Alone” back between 2007 and 2011 (took a couple years off in the middle there to, you know, finish high school…) that someone asked me if they could translate into Russian. At the time I thought that was super cool, and it still is, but now I look back at that story and I think oof, now we can cringe at it in multiple languages. (more on that later)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I’m not opposed to it! I’ve seen some excellent fic partnerships and it’s so great seeing writers leverage the creativity and talents of their friends and peers.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Y’know, before 9-1-1, it was Merlin x Arthur, but Buck x Eddie have 110% of my heart and attention now.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

On the topic of Merlin… I started writing “The Quest for the Knife” back in 2015 at the peak of my Merlin fixation after painstakingly planning it out. I have pages upon pages of outlines and notes for a 14 chapter adventure… somewhere. I found a piece of it like an archeological dig when I was moving this pandemic season, but the rest seems lost to time. I’m sad because I had gotten so excited about it and loved my first two chapters, but I don’t think I’ll ever finish it. I might take it down so I can stop wallowing in guilt.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write good action / adventure scenes and plot lines, because I love painting vivid pictures of what I see playing out in my head whenever I think through my stories. I like to incorporate subtle (and not so subtle) humour as well in my work, which is born from my very active internal narrator voice as I go through my day-to-day and try to find the humour in everything. I also like to make outlines before all my bigger stories too, which ‘usually’ means I avoid cringey plot holes and can make some fun connections.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

*looks at the camera very seriously* writing convincing smut. Well, that, and the kind of emotional, flirty love and fluff that I love devouring in fics. I don’t think I do nearly as good a job there. Get in a character’s head and angst them up? Sure. Wax poetic in a convincing and not jarring way about how much Character A is in love with Character B without making it seem like it was a bit too much of a leap? Debatable.

Also… I tend to require my readers to suspend a lot of disbelief to enjoy my fics with elements of adventure, because I tend to do exactly 5 minutes of Google research for something before I decide I’ve had enough and go ahead.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Here we revisit the cringe of “Stand Alone,” where I tried in the first half (the 2007 portion) to incorporate Japanese since I watched the anime in Japanese and felt this was the best way to try and have the character’s voices come off the page. It… is really just a big ol’ cringe, because I didn’t know the language, and I definitely didn’t use suffixes right at ALL. So… I tend to avoid it personally because I don’t want to cringe at how wrong my use of other languages is.

But if it fits you, your story, fits your character, and you know the language confidently enough to not embarrass yourself? You do you *carefully side steps around discourse and leaves the room*

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Naruto!

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I think it has to be “Express to Nowhere” these days. It was wanting to write that fic that pulled me out of hiatus and helped me find joy in writing and sharing my work again, and I have nothing but love for it and how it turned out.

Holy Cow I was warned that this level of introspection was going to take a minute but whew this was a good chunk of time. Fun to do and think about though!

Tagging: @221bsunsettowers, @onelonelytortillachip, @blueeyedbuckley and anyone who sees this and thinks, "hey, I have an answer for these questions." Because I am madly curious and would love to see your take!