#and now i have over 150k words posted

[roomwithanopenfire]

Six Sentence Sunday

Happy Sunday Everyone!! Thanks to @monbons for tagging me, so excited for the next chapter of your fic!

I've been having a really good week, I finished up all my finals and all my papers, and I moved all my stuff out of my dorm room—meaning I'm back home now and ready for summer! I have two weeks before my main summer job starts, so that means a lot of time for writing! And I've already gotten a start by having a super productive week writing-wise this week as well (finally got some solid work in on my COBB fic, turns out getting some vampire name inspo from @fiend-for-culture and seeing the first peek of the artwork really brought back all my excitement for this wip!!!)

I'm posting the newest chapter of Proof of Life tomorrow, which is one that I'm super excited to share. Unfortunately, this is the last chapter in my backlog, so I'll have take a small posting break after this, but that just means that if you haven't had a chance to start reading yet, you have time to catch up 🙃

But even more exciting news! I realized that I missed the 2 year anniversary of the first fanfic I wrote for this fandom! After reading all three Carry On books, I absolutely devoured fanfiction for probably around 6 months before ever writing my own. And the only reason I wrote anything was because I had a scene absolutely stuck in my head, and no one else had written it yet. So honor of being a month late to it's birthday, here are 6ish sentences from the first fanfic I wrote: Tense Silence (under the cut because this is already getting long):

“You’re a vampire.” says Simon. His voice came from above me. “You really are.”

I look up to see Simon standing, staring down at me. He has the Sword of Mages in one hand and the silver cross dangling in the other. It is very close to my face. I turn my head away. He moves the cross closer. I close my eyes as I smell the metal hanging merely centimetres away from me. 

“You tried to bite me.” He says. “You really tried to drink my blood.”

As you can see, I started out the fandom almost exactly where I ended up—writing angsty vampire Baz fics. While there's some things that I would do differently now and a few noticeable mistakes (Simon's cross is gold not silver, Past Lily, get it right!), I'm still really proud of this fic. I remember spending weeks working on it and being very nervous to post this 6k fic, so it's definitely kind of crazy to look back it and see how much I've grown as a writer, and how many friends I've made in fandom since then.

Tags & Hellos!

@you-remind-me-of-the-babe @facewithoutheart @run-for-chamo-miles @raenestee @artsyunderstudy

@onepintobean @prettygoododds @noblecorgi @hushed-chorus @angelsfalling16

@thewholelemon @shrekgogurt @brendughh @a-maisie-ng @hertragedyconnoisseur

@beastmonstertitan @valeffelees @horsesarenotdeer @drowninginships @supercutedinosaurs

@fiend-for-culture @rimeswithpurple @cutestkilla @alexalexinii @ileadacharmedlife

@arthurkko @rbkzz

[mossyflowers]

More people need to get into stuff that has so little works that if you want stuff you gotta make it yourself. And I don't mean like. A fandom or a pairing that has 500 or so works. I mean a fandom where the most popular pairing doesn't even have THIRTY FICS. It's good for u I promise. It's good for your health. You will not be fundamentally changed as a person. You will be normal.

[beauzos]

me earlier this year: SOBR probably won't go above 90k words since i imagine every act is about 30k words give or take?

me recently: okay, it'll be 120k words at max

me now: ok. it'll PROBABLY be no more than 150k-

[canaidliafail]

Stay grounded

streamer Abby x streamer f!reader 🌿

[part 1 ]. [part 2]

Not proof read like at all. pure crap. Im just horny had an idea and wrote it down. enjoy tho~ MDI cause it will get explicit in later chapters

CW: college exams, weed

“fuck, give me a caption”

“I like tits”

“literally fuck you”

you mumbled and your friends laughed, enjoying your misery. You stared at the blank space below your post and pursed your lips in concentration. Eventually you started typing cringing at every word

“trying some new products ˖◛⁺ ��� ♡”

and pressed “post” on the photo tossing your phone on the other side of the couch defeated. Been a presence online sure had its fun but you were also filled with the existential dread that people knew you “existed”

150k people to be exact. not much but more than you ever expected to get from your hobby. You usually posted your figurine collection from the most recent games you streamed with the occasional over the top pic of you dolled up and in clothes styled to fit the game of the month which unsurprisingly always over performed in statistics.

you had been doing this for a good two years now give or take and it was a wild turn of events considering how quickly and well your career took off. You loved the financial comfort but hated how exposed you constantly felt.

“Don't you have a stream tonight?” your friend,june, asked and you shook your head rubbing your face and squeezing your eyes shut to hopefully get rid of the persistent ache

“No, I'm resting for the week. Told them I have exams or whatever”

she passed you the blunt and you took a few puffs in silence staring into space

“Mind if I put on some music?”

“no go ahead” you mumbled and went to the kitchen to make coffee as you heard the first notes of mr.kitty after dark play in the living room.

“We need to go on a trip somewhere”. June said and Cassie agreed

“trip? where?” you shouted loud enough to be heard across the halls

“I don't know man but like, leave this town for a bit. Remember how fun we had on our last trip ?”

you smiled. Italy was fun. England was insane and Germany was borderline a fever dream. all three unique and all three with a romantic disappointment that entertained your friend group for months and you had to admit you had been craving leaving your city for a while now. Had it not been for the fact that you were on your last semester at college you would be somewhere else every other week -without any romantic endeavors-

You made the quickest shittiest coffee and went back to the living room sitting on the floor “Once Im done with exams we can go anywhere you want” you promised. Your phone pinged the flash going on and off

“What the fuck”

“Im suing for optical damage”

they yelled and grabbed your phone tossing it your way and you all but laughed

“Sorry sorry my bad forgot to turn off flash alerts”

You tapped your screen and almost choked on your coffee fumbling to unlock your phone the lyrics blurring in the background until they became a numbing buzz

staygrounded69 just made a new post

you tapped the icon and saw the new photo. You couldn’t quite understand what it was about her but she had you hooked and entirely captivated. It wasn’t a crush but you always found yourself checking for new posts or streams.

Abby, known by her public name staygrounded was a gamer who streamed here and there. In a more a casual stream she eventually explained that her nickname was a jab by her friend when she asked for ideas and he said “staygrounded, get it? cause of your fear of heights?” and it just stuck by.

That wasn’t why she had blown up though. No it was due to her coming out as a lesbian and that fueled every female straight and not. She was after all, a tall muscular woman with beautiful blonde hair and a face with unique features that deserved appreciation in the form of oil paintings and perhaps a face seating

you shook your head trying not to let your mind fall too deep into hopeless thirsty thoughts and admired the new photo. a casual gym pic. Fuck she wasn’t even flexing her muscles or anything. she wore the baggiest grey sweatpants with a black hoodie and a black cap with her braided hair and the lower half of her face peaking through sitting on a bench casually

and yet you felt weak. you bit your lower lip and chewed on it a little

“Cotton????” your friends called out to you by your streamer nickname and snapped their fingers. you looked up feeling your cheeks heat up

“aaah did she post?”

“mhm” you nod excitedly and went back to looking at the photo. You tapped the share button and posted it on your story leaving a small note

“her <3”

not been shy of publicly “aPprEciAtiNg” her since she was hell of a popular figure and would for sure not see your reshare.you let out a sigh and june smirked

“what ails you my victorian maiden”

“I love women” you said dreamily and took a sip of your coffee

“Wish they loved you back” Cassie bit and you grabbed your pillow and went over to her “oh you’re dead” you barked and she laughed as you started playfully smothering her with the stuffed item.

“alright time for me to bounce” june said first and grabbed her things “my teacher will probably be up my ass for coming so late” she groaned and you looked at the time “yeah I need to also get going”

“sucks to suck. Ill go take a nap” Cassie said and grabbed her things.

you and June both had afternoon classes while Cassie was happily a drop out who did seasonal work and rested during winter. The two of you were very visibly jealous of her not having to deal with the pain of exams.

“Yeah yeah get over yourself” June said jabbing her at her sides and Cassie yelped running in front of her, June chasing her down the stairs and you being the last one to leave the apartment to lock the door.

•••

You were in class when it happened. Your week ended with a babging 3 hour lecture entirely dedicated to pattern making. You were ready to grab the scissors and stab yourself to end this. You friend also seemed to slowly wither away while your teacher remained as chipper as always

“Now regarding coats-“ she continued and you pushed your chair away from the desk softly getting up to grab fresh paper to start copying the notes she was starting to draw on the board

You spread it out on your desk and grabbed the ruler and pencil and started measuring a No.44 coat purposefully being slower than usual so that you wouldn’t have to do much work. Your brain was squeezed dry for the day and this class was always the most difficult

you grabbed your phone to take a picture of the finished measurements and pattern on the board to have it for later. You opened the camera and zoomed in ready to take a pic

staygrounded69 liked your story

came the first notification and you fumbled with your phone as it nearly fell off of your hands. You sat down on your chair and stared at the icon for a hard long minute not wanting to tap it and see just a fan account instead. You decided to stay delusional

staygrounded69 liked your post

staygrounded69 liked your post

a few minutes later came another few notifications and then that was it. You opened your page and tapped the username that led to her profile.

holy shit

it really was her

its fucking her

You breathed in quitting her page and tapping her username again still in disbelief. She saw your photos. She had specifically liked the ones with your face in.

“Refrain from using your phones in class” your teacher reminded you and you were snapped back into reality

right patterns

coats

you shoved your phone in your bag and tried to focus on the sheet in front of you. for the remaining half hour you faked working on the class assignment and pretending to draw lines and correct them and the second your professor dismissed you, you bolted out of the class and grabbed your phone and checked for any new notifications. There was none and you tried to ignore the soft pang of disappointment that filled your chest.

You did hope she would follow you back or something but that was ridiculous considering how famous she was and by your knowledge she only followed her friends the she hang out with outside her online careers which was a dreadfully low number of people meaning there was no reason for her to follow you

you called june “you won't believe what happened”

“Oh my god. Its about that hot beefy streamer isn’t it?”

“Yes yes it is!”

and you heard screaming on the other line till the mic peaked and muted her out entirely. You gave her a few moments of squealing till she was back on the line ready to question you

“spill. what happened? Did she see your story? did she reply to it?”

“alright no nothing that important but-“

“oh come onnnn”

“BUT!” you interrupted and she waited for you to continue

“but she liked two of my pictures. You know what this means? it means she went through my page and liked two of my pictures June!”

“Wow oh my she will propose to you. She is so in love oh god”

You kept hyping up each other’s delusions all the way to your bus station

“did she text you ? any other notifications?”

you pulled your phone away and checked your page.nothing new so far

“no nothing yet, oh my bus is here”

“alright keep me updated if anything happens”

you hung up and walked inside the vehicle and sat on a plastic seat daydreaming of every possible scenario between you and Abby. However the more you sat the more the high of the excitement wore off and the more you settled back into your usual sorrowful self

ok and? she liked your posts. hell she is probably a player and likes every cute girls posts

you thought and sank further into the seat drowning in the soft music playing from your headphones. you tapped your foot on beat and rested your head against the cold misty windows of the bus. You started lying to yourself pretending this didn’t affect you much and that you'd be over her by tomorrow

You walked back home and tossed your bag carelessly near the shoe rack while taking off your boots and coat in one go leaving them on the floor not caring to tidy up. You went to the sofa and turned on your ps4 feeling excited that you finally had a few hours to dedicate to yourself

You logged into assassin’s creed valhalla ready to continue. This was your third play through and the only game you refused to play on stream. You liked keeping it as a way to comfort yourself and disassociate. You were planning on eventually getting tge ¼ scale Eivor statue that cost the not so humble amount of 1,2k $. Until you were ready to commit to such an expense though you settled for seeing your favorite character in game and left the statue in your wishlist amongst the other figurines you wanted to get

in between enjoying the game you checked the time and remembered today was Abbys turn to stream. You hated to admit that you had purposely made a schedule around hers so that you wouldn’t miss any time she went live, good example being now. You unlocked your phone leaving her stream open waiting for it to start while simultaneously running around in the forest, leisurely exploring the areas in your game

“Hey everyone! Can you all hear me fine? musics not too loud?”

came abbys voice and you snapped your head to your phone looking at her. fuck she was wearing that grey sleevless tank-top again

“Todays stream will be more chill. thought we could just catch up and chat a bit. I ugh had a long day at the gym”

she continued in her usual timid tone. On first look you would never think a woman like her would be so damn shy but she was. Or maybe it was just the camera and audience that caused her to be a bit more chaotic. Its not like you knew what she really was like behind the lens.

“Oh hey Alice nice to see you again!” she said taking her time to greet most of the people viewing her

“Oh we have Nora and Manny in the chat too” she said with a soft laugh. Nora. Oh you knew Nora. Abby usually posted with two women. Both seemed to be friends with her but could equally be suspected to be her girlfriend. One was Nora. They went to the same gym together and often hung out on stream. The second one was Ellie. Another streamer who in the beginning had a very well known hatred towards Abby until one day they miraculously made up and started occasionally hanging out.

not that it mattered to you if either of them was dating Abby…

“Next games? hm..Im not sure. Any suggestions”

you hesitated. You were a silent watcher most days. actually you had never said a damn word other than a donation to her stream and when she called you by your username back then to thank you, you felt so embarrassed that you decided to be one of the lurkers in her stream. Must have been a year ago or so when no one knew you either so there wasn’t a big deal made out of your name being mentioned. You felt stupid for even considering that anyone knew you at all to care if you left a comment. Even in the slim chance that your audience overlapped no one would really bother making a big deal out of it

“Have you tried ac valhalla?” you looked at your comment again and again till deciding to press send and then wait

“yeah not sure about that one..” she seemed to be reading and expanding a bit on which games she considered giving it a go or not. You felt a bit of relief thinking your comment was lost in the sea of others and resumed your game only to pause it shortly after

“Cotton? heh, cute nickname…I haven’t tried any of the assassins creed games but Ill check it out” You heard and your hands started to shake in excitement your ears burning from the heat.

Its not like Abby had any unique accent but the way she said your nickname made you twirl your hair and giggle to yourself. You grabbed your phone again

“oh really? she is?” you heard abby say and you read the comments the excitement turning into plain horror and mortification when you saw people start to recognise you and tease you for recommending the game they had probably seen you continuously post on your stories for a year straight. You exited the stream in shame and gently put your phone on the coffee table continuing your game.

I will end it all for real

this was my last straw

By the time the embarrassment of this minor inconvenience wore off You were in the middle of finishing the Granterbridge arc when you decided to post another story with a short caption regarding the characters. Your phone slowly started going off with notifications with people responding to your story and being in a sour mood you decided to mute it and continue your game till you fell asleep on the couch. The only reason you woke up was because you actually had a really shitty sofa with the thinnest pillows that did nothing to shield you from the hard wooden planks beneath.

You groaned in pain and looked at the screen of your Tv. Your ps4 was on rest mode and at 4.00 am you couldn’t be bothered to do anything about that so you just grabbed your phone and walked to your bedroom quickly going through the unusually vast amount of notifications in case there was something from your friends that you had missed

you stopped in front of your bedroom door and rubbed your eyes. your mind was blank. it was 4.00 am

you read the notification again

staygrounded69: hi

••••

heres my ko-fi tip jar if you enjoy my work 🤍

[zarvasace]

doodle requests you say,,, could i perhaps get some four content if ur still doing 'em? perhaps shatterproof or space au (i forgot the official name of it i will look in a sec alksrjg)

also hi! i am here bc i was browsing the four tag on ao3 as u do and found a fic from the space au, got hooked and read through all of it, and now im about half? 3/4s? of the way thru the shatterproof series and im Eating It Up thank u for keeping me fed :D love me some good good four content, he's my current favorite hehe

i have giggled so many times reading your stuff and your writing is so lovely i love your vocabulary and word choices and your character voices are so good, especially four's in the space au, hes such a lil nerd i love him

ANYWHO sorry for rambling keep up the good work 10/10 im off to sleep (read more of shatterproof in my bed)

Iuansdiuchwieufbeiw don’t be sorry about the ramble! I’m so glad you are enjoying it all, that’s one of the reasons I post my writing. :) it is very nice to hear that someone enjoys it,

I was gonna say “hey there isn’t THAT much shatterproof” but then I checked and HOLY HECK there are 62 works and over 150k of it???? Take your time oh my gosh! No wonder I sometimes have continuity errors ahahaha

Four is, uh as you can probably guess, my favorite :) I love writing him. And drawing him! Here’s a doodle :) not sure exactly what I was going for buttttttt I like it

[copperbadge]

I am so close to being done with Royals/Ramblers I can taste it, and it's one of those frustrating situations where the last remaining work to be done is just annoying. I have to write one damn scene, which of course is the most emotionally fraught and difficult one, and then pick from the *counts on fingers* three separate versions of the epilogue I wrote, none of which are very satisfying. I'll probably slam them all together and then sort it out somehow.

And then I definitely have to give the whole thing one more pass before I think about posting, because it's going to clock in at right around 150K words, and I already have notes on continuity issues that need fixing.

Anyway, please enjoy this scene, in which I realized at the same time Gregory and Eddie did what a great joke their names make. (Some brief context -- Joan uses she/her but doesn't like the word "princess", so she chose the gender neutral Princeps as her title.)

Friday evening, when Gregory came on the air for the address, Eddie was sitting next to him, and Joan was leaning on Eddie's shoulder. Her excitement was almost a visible thing; she'd been fussed over that afternoon, Gregory helping her pick out clothing followed by Jerry doing her makeup for camera and Eddie doing a slightly less clumsy job of braiding her hair than she generally did. 

"Good evening, Fons-Askaz, Askazer-Shivadlakia, our neighbors, and our viewers abroad," Gregory said. Behind the camera, Jerry mouthed the words along with him absently. "I'm pleased to greet you all this Friday evening and I hope you're well. I find myself, for the second time in a year, setting aside the usual issues of the day and questions from citizens to talk to you about family...."

His idea had been to talk about Joan's history just a little, then introduce her as the newest Royal, their daughter the Princeps. He could use that as a platform to present to the country his new funding package for adoptive families, meant to encourage adoption and support children coming out of the foster system. Each half of that would hopefully make the other half seem less random.

It went pretty smoothly; Eddie chimed in at all the right moments, and Joan got to say a few words of introduction at the end. After he signed off, he gave her a hug and a forehead-kiss and told her she'd done a great job. 

And then Noah, standing with Monday and Jerry behind the camera in the little studio, said, "Well, you crashed the internet again."

Gregory sighed. "Can't blame Eddie this time, can we?" 

"It was only the tourism website, and it wasn't on purpose," Eddie said. 

"He was always breaking my stuff when we were kids," Monday said.

"Nope, this one's all Joan," Noah replied. "As soon as you introduced her as your daughter, traffic started spiking -- palace website, tourism website, and every royals' Photogram."

"Katie in Communications says told you so," Jerry said, already on the phone with her.

"Joan's Photogram is down, looks like bandwidth-suck. And there goes mine, and yours," Noah said, nodding at Gregory. "There's two hashtags trending, PrincessJoan and PrincepsJoan." 

"Let me call my guy at Photogram," Eddie said, taking his phone out. 

"You have a guy just like, at Photogram?" Monday asked.

"Yeah, he handles my requests, I send him sausages," Eddie answered. 

"How is it you simultaneously live in the 22nd century and the 14th?" Monday asked. 

"Have him kill the Princess hashtag," Noah suggested.

"It's fine," Joan said. "They can use it for now, it'll keep things, um." She narrowed her eyes, searching for the word. "Segmented. Spread out the discussion a little."

"Someone's been reading my data analytics memos," Gregory said. 

"You leave 'em out," she pointed out. 

"Good news is people seem excited," Noah continued. "The hashtag's glitching, it's moving so fast, but overall pretty positive," he added.

"Well, we knew this would be intense," Gregory said. Joan, studying her own phone, squeaked. "Joan?" 

"Mas Corbin tagged me," she said, with possibly the most excitement they'd seen from her, at least since her first trip in the Jaguar. 

"The footballer?" Gregory asked, confused.

"Who?" Noah and Eddie chorused. 

"He's a Shivadh footballer, I think he's playing in Ireland right now," Gregory said, and his voice took on a slight edge as he considered some of the reasons a football player might mention his daughter. "What did he say?" 

"Dedicating my next game to my new Princeps JoanMac, long may she reign," Joan read, and Gregory relaxed. "Congrats to Gin&Tonic, she's cute as a button. Mas Corbin thinks I'm cute!"

"Gin and Tonic?" Gregory asked, and then said, "Gregory and Theophile," right as Eddie and Monday both began to laugh. "How did neither of us think of that before?"

"You get used to it," Noah said to Joan. "All kinds of famous people are going to have opinions on you."

"What do I do?!"

"Gram him back," Noah said. "Comment and say thanks and that you're a fan and you'll be watching the game."

"I'm gonna have to do a video with some gin and tonic recipes," Eddie said, as Noah and Joan debated the best wording for her response. Gregory leaned back in his chair, exhaling, and let the chaos happen around him for a minute. 

[minniiaa]

When I first started writing fanfiction I was so concerned that if my chapters were too wordy and stories too long, no one would want to read them. I'd put them into a word counter and pray they were less than 10k since I saw a reddit post saying people preferred chapters around 5k because they were more 'digestable'.

Now I realize that just like me, people love eating up long-winded emotional deep dives and detailed character interactions. Stories over 100k words are a BLESSING, not a deterrent. I don't look at word counts or page numbers now, I just throw the chapters out into the void and sit back and watch the kids have fun. Do I have to add another chapter to flesh out this idea? Let's do it. Is my story going to be over 150k words by the time I'm done with it even if I swore it wouldn't be? Probably, and there is nothing wrong with that.

tldr; These stories are YOUR work and there is no such thing as page restrictions and character limits in fanfiction. Let the words flow and share them with the world! we are anxiously awaiting them.

[player1064]

Hi! All such great carraville drabbles so far! If you’re still doing them, may I request them coming out publicly and the various reactions of news broadcasters, other ex/current footballers and of course, the internet. Thanks!

aaa thank you!!! and yessss I love fics where it's public reaction to stuff and i LOVE multi-media type fics so this was fun to write (even though i am much too lazy to come up with fake twitter usernames)

---

Group: MU mob

Phillip: forwarded an instagram post by gneville2 Phillip: ???

Gary: what Gary: do u think I was too nice to him in the caption Gary: I can edit it to add something about scousers maybe Gary: or how he never won the league

Phillip: you and Carragher???

Gary: ?

Paul: whyd u make me look at that rot first thing in the morning Paul: put me off my breakfast that did

Ryan: im not installing instagram for this whats he done now

Nicky: ^

Phillip: he’s dating Carragher?????

Ryan: where have u been for the last 2 years its literally all he talks about

Phillip: America! I have been! In! America! Phillip: Gaz I can’t believe you told them and not me?

Paul: I wish he hadnt told us to be fair Paul: they r so annoying

Gary: sorry phil I mustve forgot Gary: timezones etc Gary: gtg we’re having breakfast before he has to head to studio 🥞😍

David: nice post Gary 😊🏳️‍🌈 Happy for you x

Chat: Stevie G

Missed call from Stevie

Stevie: Carra

Missed call from Stevie

Stevie: Jamie Lee Duncan Carragher Stevie: pick up your damn phone Stevie: you are shit at this best friend thing yknow Stevie: also Gary Neville??? Stevie: you were moaning about him when I called you just last week Stevie: but if he makes you happy that’s alright then Stevie: tell him he’s buying me a pint next time I’m home Stevie: in liverpool mind Stevie: don’t care if you love him you won’t see me in pub in manchester

The Daily Mail

LIVERPOOL AND MAN UTD LEGENDS JAMIE CARRAGHER AND GARY NEVILLE REVEAL GAY RELATIONSHIP?

Former rivals turned co-pundits posted Valentine’s day messages on their Instagram accounts which appear to show an intimate relationship between the two men, who were both married to women for over ten years. Neither has responded for comment.

Comments:

> they’re the worst pundits on sky anyway they don’t even try to hide the bias for their teams

> gary neville’s always trying to bring politics into everything rishi was right he should stick to football!

> well I will be getting my commentary from MOTD moving forward. wish I could cancel sky sports but can’t afford to miss all the match coverage so they will be getting a strongly worded letter from me instead.

The Guardian

OPINION: IT’S 2024. WHY HAS THE FOOTBALL WORLD NOT CAUGHT UP?

There are still no openly gay players in the top tier of the men’s game. Now that two retired premier league footballers have come out, we have to ask: why is this headline news?

Both Liverpool and Manchester United football clubs have posted messages in support of Neville & Carragher, and so have many current and former players. But it begs the question why they thought that support might not be implicit, or why the two pundits had to publicly “come out” at all.

Comments:

> tbh I didn’t even know who they were until I saw Beckham’s ig story 💀

> surprised Gerrard’s not said anything, thought he and Carragher were mates >>> probably can’t if he wants to keep his manager contract $$$

> the guardian: why is the media making a fuss about two ex-footballers coming out? the guardian: is part of the media making a fuss about two ex-footballers coming out…

Twitter

Sports - Trending Gary Neville 264k tweets

Jamie Carragher 151k tweets

@.1111 they’ve been obsessed with each other for years is anyone really surprised

@.222 ngl I thought Gary Neville was already out as gay? You’re telling me people have believed he’s straight this whole time??

@.333 it’s giving slow burn enemies to lovers 150k words…

@.444 sky already wheels the two of them out together whenever they need to promote ANYTHING I bet it’s gonna get 10x worse now

Chat: J ❤️

G 👹👸: good luck on show tonight G 👹👸: no vday dinner :( G 👹👸: I shall have to waste away and pine instead G 👹👸: drown my sorrows etc

J ❤️: should be back to hotel by 1 at the latest J ❤️: I know that’s past ur bedtime old man so don’t wait up

G 👹👸: I will be up (😉😉) and ready to give you your dessert 😘 G 👹👸: might have a cheeky nap before though to be fair

[satashiiwrites]

wip whenever

was tagged earlier this week for tease tuesday (by @monsterrae1 I believe), making it into a wip whenever since I’m trying to wrestle this chapter into shape this weekend.

Tagging @monsterrae1 @outtoshatter @missanniewhimsy @whimsyswastry @rosieposiepuddingnpie @quietborderline @tkwritesdumbassassins and anyone else who would want to play along. No pressure as always.

Banner by me because boredom is never a good thing 🙃

From: Family, Familia, ‘Ohana, Chapter 13, Buck POV

Fandom: 911, H50, SWAT

Pairings: Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Steve McGarrett/Daniel Williams, platonic Deacon/Hondo

Fic summary:

When one family seems lost another comes back from the past. But does Buck want to return to the past or live in the present? And does his present lead to a future he wants? Only he can answer these questions but Steve at least will be there to support him.

Tags/warnings: first draft. Not sure if this scene is going to start/stay the same in final draft. NavySeal!Buck, set post lawsuit/tsunami arc. Slow burn (as of now my drafts are >150k). Kidnapping mentioned this part. Eddie and Buck are talking/making things work.

“I thought you hated beaches anymore—after the tsunami.” Eddie’s voice is startlingly close, and Buck twists to look up at Eddie, who is kicking off his borrowed sandals to take a seat on the sand next to him. The smile on Eddie’s face is relaxed, with no signs of the stress of the last few days except for the bruise over his left cheek.  

Buck can’t help but snap a bit at the joking tone, feeling a bit too raw and open after being reminded it was his fault Eddie had been taken. “It’s not the beach that bothers me.”

“Well,” Eddie drawls as he sends up a small sandstorm by plopping into the sand close enough for Buck to feel his body heat and knocking into Buck’s shoulder, “then why are you out here glaring at the water like it has personally offended you?”

“It’s not…” Buck gapes at Eddie. “How can you be so…”

“So what?” 

The little smile on Eddie’s face grates on Buck’s last nerve. “So I should be okay with you getting taken because of me?!?”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it was!” Buck snaps. “It was all my fault!”

“No—it was Wo Fat’s fault,” Eddie repeats calmly. “You didn’t kidnap me.”

“Well, he kidnapped you because he wanted me to leave Steve,” Buck irritably points out.

“Again, it was his fault. He’s the one who ordered them to jump me and bring me here to Hawaii. Not you.”

“But,” Buck’s voice breaks, and he barely bites back the sob that wants to escape his chest. He feels like he can’t breathe and it was his fault Eddie was taken, that Christopher was parentless for how many days, and now Eddie is here and he’s… he’s…. 

“Buck, it wasn’t your fault. People do terrible things all the time. Not everything is your fault, even if it was partially about you.”

“It was because of me,” Buck insists stubbornly. 

“And did you do what Wo Fat wanted?” Eddie asks instead, leaning in slightly so their shoulders are brushing together again, separated only by the thin cotton of their t-shirts. 

“No!” 

Eddie’s perfectly shaped eyebrow does that questioning lift thing, and those whiskey-brown eyes are silently laughing at Buck, his lips still stubbornly quirked into a smile, driving Buck insane. It’s the look that Eddie gives him when he’s being too stubborn and won’t see reason, but Buck is trying to point out to Eddie that it really is his fault this time. 

“It’s not…” Buck struggles to find the right words to express his point. Eddie had been taken because of him. He’d gotten hurt because of Buck. Christopher had been scared and alone because of Buck. “You got hurt because of me. Christopher is alone in LA without you because of me.”

“Again, it’s Wo Fat’s fault. You leaving Steve and 5-0 might have been his goal—which I’m glad you didn’t do—but it is his fault, not yours, Buck. Get that through your thick skull. It. Was. Not. Your. Fault.”

Buck hates it when Eddie is like this. He knows he can’t refute Eddie’s statement, but he still feels like an elephant is sitting on his chest, and Buck can’t take a deep breath. “It feels like it is.”

“I know,” Eddie lifts his arm and slides it around Buck’s shoulders, pulling him in close, thumb rubbing against the skin right above Buck’s collar bone.  

Buck’s body betrays him, and he all but melts into the half-hug. He wants to bury his face in Eddie’s neck and shut out the world for a few minutes, hours—fucking days if he could. Buck is losing that headspace that he always depended upon when he was working as an active duty Seal, and without it, he feels like a quivering mess, so he glares out at the water and the sun beginning to head for the horizon. 

He doesn’t want to disappoint Eddie by breaking down on him. Eddie was the one who just went through a traumatizing experience—not Buck. 

“Buck, look at me.” 

He can’t. If he looks at Eddie and Eddie is being Eddie and nice and—

“Buck.”  

The tone of Eddie’s voice is all command and years of conditioning, first by the Navy and then by being Eddie’s partner at work, has Buck shifting to meet Eddie’s eyes, which shine with a warmth that chases away the chill of the wind coming from across the water. 

“It wasn’t your fault. You taking time to get yourself straightened out while I was being an idiot? Not your fault. I want you to take care of yourself. I need you to put yourself first sometimes,” Eddie calmly states, and each word rings in Buck’s ears. 

“You need me to?”

“I do.”

“Okay,” Buck weakly agrees. He’s helplessly held in place by Eddie’s gaze and the light touch where neck and shoulder meet. 

“I need you to take care of yourself just as much as I need to take care of myself, but I also want to be there to help you when you need it.”

“Me too. I want to be there for you, Eddie.”

The corner of Eddie’s mouth quirks up. “We’re partners, Buck. I have your back, and you have mine.”

“Yeah…” Buck wants to be more than just Eddie’s work partner. They’d started talking about this before Eddie’d been taken, but maybe things have changed? Maybe Eddie’s reconsidered? Those discussions had been before… before Eddie had been taken. 

Eddie reads him like a book, noticing the creeping doubt that whispers poisonous thoughts in Buck’s ear. “Stop it. Whatever you’re blaming yourself for—stop it.”

“I can’t help it.”

“Then let me help,” Eddie insists, tugging Buck closer, and the hot touch across Buck’s shoulder slips down to warp around his waist, trapping him as Eddie’s torso twists so he’s sideways, and Buck is pulled into his chest with a thump and trapped between Eddie’s arms. Buck is warm, and he never wants to move. 

“Eddie… what are we doing?” Buck asks, needing to know. What does Eddie want from him? He’s everything to Buck. 

“I…”

Buck has caught Eddie off guard with his question, and the other man licks his lips before replying. 

“I want to find a way for us to move forward,” Eddie cautiously says. 

“Forward?”

Eddie nods, a hand carding through Buck’s hair and then rubbing the back of his neck. Biting his lip and struggling visibly to find the words, vulnerability emanates from Eddie in waves that crash up on Buck, making him want to burrow further into Eddie’s hold and hide from what he’s sure is going to be something terrible that Eddie has to say. 

“I... I feel like there’s this part of you that I never knew about, and then I found out about the Seals, your life before me, and the 118 with McGarrett; I didn’t have a clue.”

“I would have told you if I knew you wanted to know.”

“I know you would have. I just…” Eddie pauses, squeezing Buck’s neck to emphasize his point. “It makes me want to know what else I don’t know about you. I want to know everything about you.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah, and I want you to know everything about me which scares the ever-living fuck out of me.”

“It’s scary knowing someone,” Buck echoes, wanting Eddie to keep talking. 

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #33 | 07.26.23

Hi everyone!

It's only been a month (per usual) since the last devlog. But it feels like so long ago! Very weird that last devlog I hadn't even released Intertwine yet. But here we are, back with another one!

Before we get into things, I want to extend the biggest thank you to everyone who has played and supported intertwine!

if you havent played yet, here it is. this is me on my knees asking because i am quite proud of it and what our team accomplished in two months!

in the almost month it's been out, we stand at almost 15k total plays and 200+ reviews which is so crazy to me. i never would've expected that kind of reception for our little game and when i say it has been so motivating for alaris!!! u dont even know!!!

thank you again for all the kind words---i know you are all Sick of me talking about it but i don't know how else to express my gratitude <3 it means so much to me ;_;

I wanted to make sure I inserted an official section for it in the Devlog just to really thank you all for the support. But with that, I shall get into the updates!

But not before a quick belated happy birthday to Fenir!

Writing

I posted it earlier this week, but I HAVE!!! THE MOST EXCITING NEWS!!! At least for me.

I FINISHED DRUK'S FIRST DRAFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all know how long this has been in the making. I've been talking about his route for what feels like an eternity. Evidently, it's Very Normal to experience burnout, struggles with motivation, creative ruts, etc. etc. at this point in development. The initial and final stages of development are easier because your motivation is up. In the beginning, it's like Wow!! This is Fun!! And towards the end, it's like Wow!!! I actually Fckn Made It!!!!

And so the middle part of development, aka the stage I just entered with Druk's route, is the slog.

Now that I've overcome that initial hurdle, while I'm not near the end of development, I do feel like I will have a better handle of progress on the following routes since I have a better set of expectations and tools on how to get through this stage (compared to when I initially started Druk's route, and I was like what are all these Feelings?? Why am I Struggling so much??).

That being said, WE ARE OVER HALFWAY DONE WITH THE SCRIPT! It currently stands at 200k words including the demo, and with how each of the routes have been shaping up, we have about 150k left to go. Wow!!!!! It is crazy to know I've written that much for Alaris, and this feels like such an exciting milestone to know that I'm over halfway there for the script!

We also have just about wrapped up Fenir's developmental edits, so that makes Kayn and Fenir's foundational versions of their routes done (all that would be left at this point is line tweaking and/or revisions based on beta feedback)!! Overall, this was a really exciting month for writing updates, and I'm so happy to feel back on track with Alaris development <3 I also finished my dissertation proposal in case anyone is keeping track of that HEEHOO

Art

Most of my attention for art was (un?)fortunately on Intertwine this month AGAIN. I really had anticipated being able to dive right into Alaris and irl work this month after Otojam ended. But the reception to Intertwine made it so I needed to dedicate some time to "marketing" artwork aka the artwork I like to make when reaching certain milestones of support (e.g., 1k downloads, etc.). Obviously these aren't necessary, but I like to show my thanks and appreciation in some way, and the artwork is what feels best conveys my gratitude.

Because we hit milestones relatively quickly, I ended up having to make those pieces faster than I anticipated prior to release. So I spent the first half of this month mostly on intertwine "promotional/apprecation" artwork. Near the tail end of this month though, I've prioritized Alaris artwork and have made progress on both the Kickstarter physical rewards and some CG sketches!

sneaky peeky of pretty mermay Aisa

Vui continues to hit it out of the park with the backgrounds. Most of them are spoilers at this point. But I do have one that isn't too bad of a spoiler! And because you all have been so supportive and patient with me, I show hehe

vui and his bg mastery: a preview of the dragon springs

The demo mentions dragon springs (I..... think......... LMAO), and here is a preview of what those dragon springs can look like. Wonder what the context will be in which we visit them, teehee! I'm in love with the way Vui brings the fantasy world of Alaris to life. I am so grateful for him ^^

Market Research

My wrist was feeling ~delicate~ this month due to Otojam crunch and then post-release pieces. So I don't have any actual art pieces to showcase this month for market research. I did play Otojam games and started Cupid Parasite (ryuki and allan my beloveds). But crescence's wrist needs to relax LOL. So no art pieces more than necessary for this month!

I will send some love to my besties over at Ravenstar Games though! If you haven't heard, they have a game currently in development called Lost in Limbo. It looks sick as hell, and the team is unbelievable talented and hardworking. This month to celebrate Barbie, they were able to sneak this promotional piece in, even while working on their Master's ((Do you see...... a familiar group of people..... heh))

Alaris x Lost in Limbo x Barbie the collaboration of the century

That's all from me for now. Thank you again for all the support and love on Intertwine! I've truly cherished all the fanwork, reviews, kind messages, etc.

That being said, while it was a bit of a struggle getting back returning to the Alaris world initially (I was literally like what.... was the plot of this again... LMAOsazodujf), it's been so rewarding to return to my OG gang. The intertwine release and return to Alaris work has also been strangely sentimental since it's reminded me how far I've come in the two years I've been in this dev Thang. As always thank you for your continued support (and for supporting Alaris since it's inception when I was a Wee Dev), and I look forward to bringing you more updates in the future <3

See you all next month, and stay safe!

[gliyerabaa]

Hello. I was wondering if you would spare me some thoughts about Fanfiction writing techniques you have. Thank you :)

Oh wow, I've never been asked to give writing advice before....

Ultimately everyone's writing style and writing process varies but here are some of the most important things I've learned in the years of writing fanfic.

Write down EVERYTHING. Every idea you have. Even the "dumb" ones. Even the borderline-nonsensical ones. Even if the idea is not enough to become a fic in and of itself, it can serve as inspiration for other things further down the line. (this also ties into my other rules KEEP EVERYTHING and DON'T BE AFRAID TO SUCK)

KEEP EVERYTHING. Like rule 1, keep every idea you have. You never know when it might come in handy. Also, keep the works you publish on Ao3. If, in the future, you want to remove your connection from a fic, please orphan it instead of deleting it. It's important to keep fanworks available for all, even if their author is no longer associated with it.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO SUCK. Think of your writing ability as a muscle. You wouldn't go to the gym and expect to lift 200 pounds on your very first day. Similarly, you can't expect to write flawlessly and perfectly on your first try. Keep working at it, and over the years you WILL notice improvement.

Find a writing buddy or two. This person doesn't necessarily have to be a formal beta reader or anything, but can be someone you bounce ideas off of, or someone who can generally hype you up. (mega huge shoutout to @a-fast-rebloger for being my writing buddy as of late). Writing is a deeply personal process but honestly if you try to go it alone, you'll wind up losing your mind. A lot of times, when you are writing and editing your own work, you start to find it less impressive. A second set of eyes, whether as a friend or a formal editor or both, can do wonders for self-esteem and motivation when writing.

Remember the Cakes. There's a popular comic that goes around every now and then

The above comic is the beginning of what I talk about in my mind as "The Cake Analogy". If you write a 500 word oneshot and try to compare yourself to someone's 150k multichapter epic, you may feel like the artist in the first panel. But remember, from the audience perspective, we're all just here to eat cake! Another part of the cake analogy... Sometimes I get too worried about characterization or dynamics in my writing. I worry "what if this isn't a believable interaction" or "what if this dialogue sounds stupid" but then I remember I am making a cake to bring to the cake party where people go specifically to eat cake. I am not going to have to convince anyone to eat my cake, because that is what they came here to eat!

Write for YOURSELF. Ultimately, what you write should bring you joy! Yes, you are writing and posting and sharing your creation with others but ultimately this should be for YOU.

I hope this was decent advice! Feel free to ask for more writing tips anytime :)

[tweakerist]

hey guys i just wanna get something out of my chest and im gonna say it as it is, if it sounds mean, i promise you i do not mean it to come off like that. ivw gotten a few asks and even a couple of comments on nyi that rub me the wrong way. i wanna address it this way because i dont wanna make anybody feel attacked, since im pretty sure no one actually meant to cause upsetting feelings.

im deeply, infinitely grateful to everyone who read nervous young inhumans, whether if they read one paragraph and didn't like it or they're actually still here with me. knowing that ppl have given/ are currently still giving my writing a chance is so encouraging to me because i never ever imagined i could finally get over my insecurities and actually put my writing out to the world.

what im trying to say right now is that, sometimes (based on some of the feedback ive gotten, specially recently) a lot of people dont actually stop to consider that every writer is different. ive seen writers on ao3 write hundreds of fics of over hundreds of thousands of words in one year or less, and that is actually amazing, i truly admire them, and i wish i could be like them. but the truth is, ill probably never be able to match up with those writers and that is absolutely fine, because im my own person, with my own life and process, im writing in a language that isn't my own, and going through things in my personal life that thanks to my mental conditions, usually affect my way of living each day.

i understand the frustration of wanting more, of getting the ending you deserve as fast as possible, and im honored that you actually want to stick around for that, but please keep in mind im a human being and im constantly trying my best. for me, having written more than 150k words for a story in a language that isn't my mother language while living in an environment that's unstable, is an achievement in of itself, and i wish more people actually stopped for a few seconds to try to take that in. im a writer, but unfortunately that's not my livelihood, i don't get paid for anything i post and i dont want to, because i do it for myself, because i love it, and i care.

so like i said, im certain that no one who's made these upsetting comments meant to come off as negative, but id like to take this opportunity to ask you to stop and think on how you word your feelings, because i can promise you im always, always, trying to do my best, especially when it comes to writing, it's my favorite thing to do, and if i could, id finish my works 10x faster.

[winderlylandchime]

Fanfiction Year in Review 2023

I fell out of fandom in 2021-ish for mental health and other reasons (iykyk). I returned this past year and reunited with old friends and made new ones. I absolutely adore fandom and all that it brings with it. The passion, the love, the community, the complete bypassing of cringe. Please, more.

This year, I returned to fanfiction and published over 150k words. I know absolutely that word counts mean nothing but if we’re taking writing as a symptom of emotional and mental well-being for me (for me!), then I feel so very good about this. I also learned how many ways someone can write about the same theme (prom! arc!) without completely losing their audience. I wanted to do a little year-in-review by listing the fics I’ve published and my favorite line from each.

Thank you so much to every single person who encouraged me in DMs, servers, kudos, and comments. Writing brings me happiness but the community around writing brings me the most joy. I would not have returned to fandom without each of you.

And then there were three rating: T, word count: 727, ficlet, inspired by a prompt by @lostcol and a bit of a character study of Brian Kinney.

Favorite line: Oh, there are mothers in Brian’s life now. They’re surrounding him as he sits, head bowed, face covered in tears-streaked blood, scent of death and ammonia in his nose.

(and I’d do it again) rating: E, word count: 6,865, one-shot, canon divergence in S5, maybe something other than a bomb can bring them back together

Favorite line: It’s not like Justin is going to come back to the loft with him. Not after he up and left five weeks and three - no four days ago. He’s ready to wash his hands of this night. Ready to be done to the extent that he’ll ever be done with Justin. To the extent that he’ll ever be able to fully wash his hands of any of this. He feels like Lady Macbeth with her eternal spot, forever marked by blood on the cold cement floor of a parking garage.

carried me with you rating: E, word count: 36,405, after prom Jennifer asks Brian to stay away from Justin, and he does

Favorite line: ”But that’s not me taking care of you. That’s, that’s - ” I struggled to find the words to convey what was natural, what was something that didn’t require effort or thought or intention. “ - that’s like breathing.”

love is so short (forgetting is so long) rating: T, word count: 2,777, WARNING MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, what the fuck was I thinking?

Favorite line: His mama, an artist, just said, “Gussy, some people, most people, have an infinite capacity to love. Other people have the capacity to love one person infinitely.” He never asked again.

clothes mean nothing until until somebody lives in them rating: M, word count: 3,007, 5+1 things and clothes sharing

Favorite line: That night, Justin lies in Michael’s old bed and holds the shirt over his face while he remembers the vibrations of Brian’s moans against his skin as he ate him out the night before. He jerks off to the memory. Not the first boy to jerk off to thoughts of Brian in this bed.

you’re like a tattoo (something i can’t undo) rating: E, word count: 87,170, my first QAF complete AU, sugar daddy AU. also kinneycutt!

favorite line: “Oh, darling,” Emmett’s voice is dripping with something cashmere soft. “Oh, oh, oh . Darling, you are fucked. Oh, you are beyond fucked.” He looks at Brian. “And you don’t even know it.”

beautiful like the darkness between the fireflies rating: E, word count: 18,611 (WIP), my first QAF post canon, exes-to-lovers, soft fluffity fluff

favorite line: “And, dad?” There’s a hopeful edge to Gus’ voice, something that hasn’t been killed by the spectacular failure of their moms’ marriage and generally having Brian as a third parent.

“Yeah?” He feels the word bubble up from deep in his chest. He wants this kid to hold onto hope for as long as they can.

“An anchor can be good, it can keep you grounded, you know?”

very low-key, no pressure, tagging to share your 2023 wins fanfic, gifs, or otherwise: @getmehighonmagic @magicandarchery @lostcol @kiranerysed @sophsun1 @bigassbowlingballhead @bartbarthelme @sheisraging @eusuntgratie @xoxoemynn

[bbutterflies]

2023 fanfic year in review

Thank you @kasienda for the tag!!! Been meaning to do this since I wrote so much in 2023!

Fics completed this year:

Oh my god I was writing lovesquare still at the beginning of the year… who was I back then… I finished I’d fall in love with you a thousand times and Meant to be, and then wrote all of Intertwined. I try to hold these all in kind thoughts. I don’t think they’re all that great, personally, but I just hadn’t written as much when I wrote them and never outlined or planned ahead. But I’m happy people liked them!

And then I went off the deep end with adrino:

I’ll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious)

Falling into place

ways to say I love you

promise me forever

The memories we (don’t) make

Not much of a cat person

The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you)

Chemistry with him (for Ninovember 2023! I wrote the entire thing in about a month and a half and posted daily in November. My life took a serious turn for the worse by the end of the month and the comments and support on this fic were so amazing and incredible and kept me going!)

Love you snow much

And then I ended strong with this incredibly devastating (but really good) loveywalker one shot: fine line

Number of words written:

My ao3 stats say I published 329,988 words in 2023 which is insane????? I don’t know how I did that but oh my god it was so fun. I know I wrote way more that I didn’t publish with edits and stuff I scrapped, but I don’t keep track because it would just be way too difficult… at least another 100-150k if I had to guess in cut scenes and wips I haven’t published and stuff I just decided I didn’t like. I don’t know how in the world I managed to write so much while already a sleep-deprived grad student but I definitely don’t regret it. It was a blast.

Your most popular fic:

By hits, Meant to be. Oh man… if I wrote this now I’d do so much differently. I was surprised people loved it so much, and looking back, I’m like oh god… the mistakes… but it’s all a learning process! :) and I learned and grew so much from this one.

By kudos, ways to say I love you, which I didn’t expect to gain any traction at all. It’s just over 600 words, something silly and cute I figured a couple people would like, and it totally blew up.

Your personal fav:

I know I’ve said this before but Falling into place, hands down, is my number one. I know I’ve also said before it’s such a queer, teenage experience, but it is and it means so much to me. Being in high school, being in love with your friends and not even knowing it, aughhh I just love it. I love the way I wrote it. I’m so proud of it still!

Your fav scene:

Oh man… probably the kiss scene in chapter 9 of The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you). I wrote it so many times and made so many edits but I ended up so proud of it!

A fic or scene that challenged you:

I had a lot of fun with most of my fics! Having multiple wips on the backburner gave me a way to take a break and work on other stuff when I was having trouble with one and I can usually come back with fresh eyes later and never have too much trouble. But right now, If I hold you too close is challenging emotionally. It’s super personal and self-indulgent, and digging into a lot of my own past and traumas and mistakes to write it has been harder than I thought it would be. I’m excited to keep working on it but it’s been draining at times for sure.

A line of writing you’re proud of: 

Oh man, I don’t know how to pick a single line… I’ll have to go with this (even though it’s technically more than one line) from Falling into place:

Adrien’s eyes were locked on Nino’s. He was staring back with something in his expression Adrien couldn’t quite read, something he hadn’t seen before. Or maybe he had but he’d just never been looking.

A comment that touched you:

A few come to mind! I’ve had several people comment on my adrino fics telling me they hadn’t shipped them before but they do after reading, and honestly that’s my number one life goal at the moment haha. I love adrino! I want more people to love them!

I genuinely love all the comments I get. It means so much that people read and love my work. The people who say so specifically always get me teared up… I’ve gotten several on my fluff fics that said they were going through stuff in life and my writing was a bright spot for them, and genuinely that’s insane to me. To touch someone else, to have a positive impact on their life through art…. oughhh it’s just so human and raw and I love it! I’m so honored!

Something that inspired your writing:

I honestly spent a lot of time writing what I personally wanted/needed to read! I needed more domestic adrino fluff, and I wasn’t finding quite what I wanted to read, so… I wrote it for myself! I love rereading them knowing it’s exactly what I want to read, and knowing other people enjoyed them too. I’ve been incredibly selfish in my writing this year (in the best way) and it’s been so inspiring also to see other people want to read it too! The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you) was something I didn’t think would garner much attention at all. A rarepair and a super silly trope? I thought whatever, I’m writing it for me, hopefully a couple others like it, and it got so much more positive attention than I thought. I’m so glad!

Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

Probably figuring out I’ll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious)! I think I’ve mentioned before I was originally writing it as a lovesquare fic. I wrote it and rewrote it like six times before I thought, no, this should be about Adrien and Nino. And then it just clicked!

Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I have a secret wip in my docs I’ve talked about a couple times, but it’s a slowburn teenage adrino and I really would love to write all of it! I think I’m struggling to decide exactly what kind of story I want to tell and it’s making it hard to outline and write when I don’t have a clear end direction, but that’s something I’d definitely love to figure out.

And I’d love to get back into lovesquare, too! I have a few wips that I keep putting on the backburner but I really want to dust them off and finish them, and maybe start some new stuff. Writing my loveywalker fic was SO fun (if devastating) and I can’t believe it’s been months since I sat down and wrote lovesquare.

This isn't a direct writing goal, but I'm determined to comment more on fics I read. I love getting comments, and I don't leave them enough on the fics I love, and that's something I really want to change!

Anyone you would like to thank?

@kasienda and @flightfoot I think are tied for commenting on my fics, and it really means so much to have cheerleaders in my inbox!!! Especially writing adrino when readership is lower, it was a huge help to have people reading and commenting and cheering me on <3

@asukiess and @isabugs recently for screaming with me in general about this show! You’ve inspired me to write so much more… I can’t wait to be absolutely unhinged in 2024.

And all my commenters on ao3!! I don’t know everyone’s tumblr and couldn’t possibly tag them all but it means so much every time I get a comment. I wouldn’t be writing as much as I do without the direct support! Thank you!!!

[copperbadge]

Sam, I say this with love, exasperation, and admiration: I have no idea how you write so much. I'm in the middle of a long-overdue update of backing up my favorite fics to my hard drive, and your fic archive is basically a mini-project in itself!

LOL! I had this conversation with myself when I moved all my fanfic over to AO3. By hand. From Livejournal. :D I think it's mainly that I was undiagnosed with ADHD while being either understimulated in school or underutilized in my job. I think it's indicative of how my priorities have shifted as I've gotten older, that I haven't really written much fanfic in years, and in general my words-per-year output has dropped quite a bit.

Prior to 2019, it was a rare year I posted less than 150K words and some years I posted over 400K. It was almost always fanfic, because the first few novels were posted to Livejournal, not AO3, and I didn't move them when I moved over all my fanfic. I was in grad school, which was not demanding for me, and then I was in a series of jobs where I began with large amounts of downtime, then slowly had less and less as I gained more responsibility. Up until 2019, when my former office just disintegrated and I changed jobs.

So the output in those earlier years was this balance of struggling to keep myself entertained, having the time to engage with a time-intensive coping mechanism, and processing hyperfixation. It still feels weird to describe myself as having hyperfixations, because that's not how I've ever thought of my own mental processes; I have a specific mental definition of hyperfixation under which I do not fall, but I'm beginning to realize that definition is inaccurately narrow. Given my duration in a fandom is almost always two years on a predictable cycle, I can't really refute the idea that I develop and process hyperfixations like a lot of neurodiverse people do. (Marvel is an outlier in that the canon is massive and much more widely disbursed than most -- even so you can kinda see me move through characters within Marvel on two-year cycles.)

In 2019 my wordcount dropped dramatically, and in 2020 most of what I posted was original fiction I actually wrote in 2019. So I didn't post much in 2020 and didn't post anything at all in 2021, which was shocking to me when I realized it. This past year, 2022, is the first year I've bounced up, posting 246K words, but it's mostly been original work. I rarely engage in meta anymore, and currently don't really have an active fandom that I write or talk about. Looked at on paper, I haven't truly been in fandom in about four years. It's fortunate that fandom is a culture -- it's not something you leave or are expelled from just because you stop participating in some aspects of it. There is no way for me to truly leave fandom now even if I wanted to, short of leaving social media altogether, which I have zero plans on doing.

This all got very deep from a pretty simple ask about my formerly prodigious output, but it was fun to go look up my AO3 stats and engage in a little self-reflection.

[the-californicationist]

For the ask game, if you’re willing: ❤️ and 💛

No pressure though. Love your work!

That makes me so happy. I really appreciate that, friend. Also! Thank you so much for this ask!! 🩷

❤️ — I think the line that I wrote that sticks in my head the most is from Gunslinger, which doesn’t make much sense out of context but alas:

“Let him eat your bones right up, your faithful coyote, all the brokenness within you.”

However, I am most proud of the writing that I was able to accomplish in The Devil’s Summer. It’s a hard fic to read, though. Dark stuff.

💛 — The most impactful lesson I’ve learned from this process is that you should never rush to the good part.

I have written over 95 fanfiction stories in the past year, I have 525k words inked down, and I’m sure there’s a few tumblr drabbles that I can stack on top of the pile as well. Throughout all of them, I have a terrible habit of sprinting to the part that I want to read. I’ll have it written a hundred different ways, imagined it a thousand times in my mind. Whatever it is — the big fight scene, the first kiss, the earth-shattering confessional — whatever the good part is, I hurry towards it, hungry like I’ll starve without it. But, the rush takes the glory from it. Details add to the taste, like spices to a meal, and without them, I feel like some of my big moments fall flat.

I hate slow burns. I hate writing them. I hate reading them. And yet, I’m starting to realize that I just hate waiting to see if the good part will come true.

A good slow burn, with a talented author, will drop little crumbs, small promises, letting you know what’s coming. She’ll whisper between the lines, “I know what you want. It’s here. Just wait!” And I find myself trusting those stories. Banking on them. And then realizing that the good part was only good because I consumed all of the other bites around it. If the main meal is always dessert, who wants more cake?

And I think, through this realization, I have also learned to be more patient with myself. If you knew me back in October 2023, I was churning out 150k words per month. I thought I had to hurry. I thought no one wanted to wait for me. I wasn’t worth waiting for.

But that has changed for me. I don’t run myself ragged anymore because I think I’m worth waiting for. I think my work is worth my own patience. And when I do deliver a post or a chapter or whatever, I think it shows that it was built and crafted with care, spiced and salted and grilled to be at its best.

And it has taught me just how much more learning I have to do. That desire to rush, to skip, to only eat (or read) the dessert is still there. It still taunts me. I can still hear myself in my mind saying, “Why would anyone wait on this when they can pull up tumblr or AO3 and get something else right now?” And teaching myself to ignore that negativity, to power through with my details, to trust my gut and write about all of the intricacies that I think are important; I have learned to try to listen to that part of myself. It’s becoming easier to do so.

When people bemoan George R. R. Martin for taking “too long”, I think that if people feel that way about a world class author, surely they must also feel that way about the fanwork they read. Hell, people have even stolen fanwork to feed AI machines just because they “want an ending”. And I thought that was the norm, but now I just feel sorry for those people. They can’t understand how much sweeter the treat would be if they had just been willing to wait for the work to be done in the way it was meant to be done. I feel sad for them that they will never realize the potential for what was unfinished.

I used to only read completed fics. I didn’t want to wait. I needed to know how it ends. Does the hero survive the evil? Do the lovers tell each other the truth? Does he actually fuck her in that one bed they have to share!? But not anymore. Now, I taste the little clues the author leaves behind for me. I listen to her voice as I read: “Trust me!” And so I do. I don’t mind waiting for the good part anymore. I subscribe, I bookmark, and I comment to tell them how much I am enjoying being fed.

As a writer, I need to get better at that patience. On waiting for the good part to come. It’s not always easy, but it’s been a good lesson.