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The New 90: a ragtag group with nothing to lose thrown together after severe budget cuts.

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The 127 has one of the highest survival rates in all of Santa Monica and the greater LA area. (part one)

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The 127 has one of the highest survival rates in all of Santa Monica and the greater LA area (part two)

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your heart is full of scars. and yet, it is the strongest and softest thing in the world. ― r.m. drake

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saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

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do you ever look at your best friend and just think “someone is going to be so in love with you someday”

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"I never meant to hurt you." Olliood (fluff :P)

He woke up slowly in his boyfriend’s bed, blinking himself awake gradually. There was a warmth piled around his neck, soft, and Gendry murmured into the pillow, blinking as he registered Cam standing on the other side of the bed. 

And that warmth settled on his shoulders was fuzzy -- oh, the cat. Cam’s cat. She liked him. He brought up one hand to pet her a little clumsily, listening to her mew and rub her head against his palm. 

“You’re encouraging her,” Cam said, sounding a little grumpy, and he looked up at him properly. “I get up to start my day and she swoops in, you menace.” This last bit was addressed to her, seeing as she was starting to knead against his chest. Gendry rubs his eyes, still not feeling with the program, and then he catches sight of Cam’s hand, scratched. 

“What happened?” He asks, pushing himself into a sitting position as he starts to pet her, sheets crumpled around his waist. 

“I was going to get back in bed with you, so I tried to move her,” Cam explains, taking a seat on the bed, and Gendry automatically moves closer, resting his head against his shoulder. “Never meant to hurt you,” he addresses her again, as she lets out a louder mrow, flicking her tail in Cam’s face, and it makes him laugh. 

“I think that means she’s on my side about sleeping in,” he teases, nuzzling his neck and tugging him back down onto the bed. “Two against one,” Gendry adds, yawning halfway through his sentence. They end up with Cam on his back and Gendry tucked into his side, the cat sprawled across both of them as Cam runs his hand through Gendry’s curls.  

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“Señorita” Behind The Scenes – Part 1

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Ronen Rubinstein on Instagram Stories 2.21.20

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"Take off your shirt." Olliood

They’d talked about the party that night earlier, of course. Gendry wanted to play -- he hadn’t in a while, so he didn’t have any plans to drink. Cam had shrugged and said he wasn’t planning on getting drunk, but he was probably going to have a few drinks anyway. 

Which was fine. 

It was just that Cam was kind of hot after a few drinks, a little flushed and maybe his mouth was redder than usual, a little stained. He’d messed up his hair at some point, talking and laughing while he gestured with his cup, and Gendry couldn’t help but look at him. 

He shook his head after a second, closing his eyes, and took a couple of deep breaths. His shoulders eased as he shifted, opening his eyes and walking out from the seating area. The guitar was slung over his back and the smile on his face was easy. It wasn’t a stage, by all means, but crossing into the courtyard just felt different. 

Cam was already cheering for him, before he even started, and Gendry tucked it away. He strummed to start, starting to sing. “You’ve got a hold of me, don’t even know your power--”

“Take off your shirt!” Someone yells while he’s barely into his set, and he shakes his head, shrugging at the crowd as he continues with his song. 

What really trips him up is Cam’s shout, though. “Oi! I agree, but that’s my boyfriend!” He’s had people talking through his shows before, of course, but never a declaration like that one. 

And Gendry stops, his hands relaxed on his guitar as he grins, his cheeks going pink. “I’ll unbutton it after I finish the song,” he suggested, maybe just a little too pleased by hearing Cam stake his claim. “If that’s alright with you, Cam?” 

He gets a thumbs-up and laughs again before he restarts the song. 

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"Promise me you won't take it off." Wrett

It’s the last weekend before their Easter break and the sun is shining. At this point, Wyatt doesn’t even bother with asking where Wren is. He knows he’ll find him down by the lake. It’s a little bit surprising to see him sitting with a group of fifth year girls, his voice just that little bit deeper underneath their chatter. They all giggle when they see him coming, but Wren just grins, tilting his head up for a kiss. 

“What’re you doing, sunshine?” He asks, sitting down on the grass, his knee bumping up against his boyfriend’s comfortably. There’s all this different colored string in Wren’s lap plus he has his concentrating face on, fingers fumbling through different knots. 

“Friendship bracelets,” he explains, but not really. One of the girls reaches over, moving his hands, and Wren laughs. “My hands are too big,” he tells her, shrugging, but he goes along with it anyway. The bracelet slowly coming to life is blue and green, zig-zagging stripes, and Wyatt just watches his hands move for another moment. 

The girls start talking again, mostly between themselves, but one of them keeps glancing over at him. He offers her a smile as she tucks her hair back behind her ears. “What are you doing for Easter?” she asks, in a clear attempt to include him. 

“I’ll be headed home, to film a couple of episodes before the summer,” he answers, though he’s trying not to think about that for too long. Wren lets go of his string to rest his hand on Wyatt’s knee, his fingers playing with the fraying rip there. 

“And talking to a couple of the healers at St. Mungo’s,” he adds, glancing at him. He ends up taking his hand back off him to finish the complicated pattern in front of him; his tongue sticking out a little as he concentrates. He has to get help a few more times, but Wyatt ends up being pulled into the conversation of OWLs and holiday studying and complaining about professors. 

It’s nice. Wren always seems to make friends so easily. 

“I think it’s long enough,” he says to Michelle, who nods, and reaches for Wyatt’s wrist. Wren ties the bracelet around his wrist easily, kissing his cheek before he reaches for more string. “Promise me you won’t take it off,” he says, obviously joking, but all the same, Wyatt nods. 

He keeps admiring it, spinning it around his wrist as Wren sets to making more. His fingers are getting surer around the patterns, talking easily with the group, and Wyatt just listens, slipping in with a joke every now and then. He soaks up his boyfriend’s laughter.

By the time he’s home and starting to prep for the first of three episodes they’re filming, it doesn’t occur to him to take it off. Nobody really says anything to him about it either, not until they’re cueing the cameras and he automatically spins it around his wrist. 

“What’s that?” his Mum asks, making everyone stop in their tracks for just a moment. Wyatt looks down at his wrist and then back up at her, trying to not get his shoulders in a defensive set. 

“Wren made it for me,” he says, turning himself back to the cameras. They can all wait. He’s not taking it off -- he promised, even if his boyfriend wasn’t being serious. 

(Later, after much persuasion, Wren manages to catch a few episodes -- except he has to pause the first one just five minutes in -- grinning too widely as the camera zooms in on a well-worn blue and green bracelet on Wyatt’s wrist.)

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“You always smile like you’re about to cry.”

“I have a right to be angry!”

“You hear my heart beat? Just focus on that.”

“I’m going to protect you.”

“Give it back.”

“Shh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

“How about a kiss?”

“Here. Let’s share the blanket.”

“No- just. I really like you in my clothes.”

“Wait. Don’t pull away…not yet.”

“I’m supposed to hate you for what you did.”

“Maybe we should work on the fact that you go in fists flying when things don’t go your way.”

“Don’t look at me like that, like you’re afraid of me.”

“I thought we were friends!”

“Lie to me then.”

“There’s no time to run.”

“It’s fine. I can wait.”

“I hate you!”

“Don’t let me go.”

“Bite me!”

“You’d be a great mom.”

“You’re one hell of a guy.”

“Why are you naked?!”

“You have…superpowers?”

“Put me down!”

“There’s only one bed…”

“First one to make a noise loses.”

“Did you just…agree with me?”

“You’re insane!”

“I know. Isn’t it great?”

“Why is he bleeding?”

“Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?”

“Do you sleep anymore?”

“It’s just a papercut.”

“You’re not as evil as people think you are.”

“I don’t give a damn.”

“It’s a long story.”

You’re a part of the family, didn’t you know?“

“Woah! Slow down, what’s going on?”

“This is a one time thing.”

“You smell nice.”

“Did you just lick me?”

“Stop telling me you’re okay!”

“What a pretty sight.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Car sex looks way easier in the movies.”

“Where are your clothes!”

“When did we get a cat?”

“He did what?!”

“You look pretty today. I like you in blue.”

“Stop calling me that! That’s not my name.”

“Are you flirting…with me?”

“Oh! That’s not my leg!”

“I like your voice.”

“You’re still here and making- pancakes?”

“No, I said we were safer. Not safe.”

“If we get arrested it’s your fault.”

“Do you ever think we should stop doing this?”

“Are you scared?”

“Promise me you won’t take it off.”

“They’re afraid of me.”

“Don’t lie to me!”

“I lost a bet.”

“I don’t regret anything.”

“You’ll break his heart if you do this.”

“What’s in your hair?”

“You don’t want to know, trust me.”

“Are you always an ass, or am I just special?”

“Did you hear something?”

“I can’t stop shaking.”

“You got about as much charm as a dead slug.”

“Oh! This one’s pretty.”

“Shut up and get over here.”

“You’ve got to believe me!”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“What’s up with your dad?”

“Please. Don’t stop.”

“Take my hand.”

“Don’t bleed on my floor.”

“Would you please put your tongue away.”

“Deep breath now.”

“Is that a lighter in your pants or you just happy to see me?”

“Why can’t you love me?”

“I like your face.”

“God, I could kiss you right now. Wait- uh…”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Who are you?”

“How did I get here?”

“That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Five minutes! And that’s it!”

“Eyes up here, amigo.”

“You like me?”

“I don’t like the dark.”

“What is that?”

“Are you smiling or is that a grimace? I can’t tell the difference.”

“We’re not going to die.”

“You wrote me a poem?”

“Stop staring! It’s rude.”

“Bend over.”

“Kiss me, asshole.”

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Drabble List #2

New drabble prompt list! Feel free to reblog!

“That’s how the story goes.”

“None of this is your fault.”

“I know it hurts.”

“Are you serious?”

“You’re safe now.”

“No one’s going to hurt you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“This isn’t what I wanted.”

“My head hurts.”

“I’m right here, okay?”

“Wow, you look… amazing.”

“Are you okay?”

“Who did this?”

“I made a mistake.”

“When I’m with you, I’m home.”

“There’s nothing I can do anymore.”

“This is going to hurt.”

“That was kind of hot.”

“Please don’t let me be alone.”

“Don’t try to fix me. I’m not broken.”

“It’s never too late to get back up again.”

“What if one day I wake up and you don’t?”

“I immediately regret this decision.”

“I’m not okay.”

“I’m scared.”

“You’re the one thing keeping me sane right now.”

“Please stay with me.”

“Please help me.”

“It’s okay to cry.”

“Is that blood?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“You’re everything to me.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Are you testing me?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful.”

“I’m lost without you.”

“You have my word.”

“I’m just tired.”

“It just… hurts.”

“Do you promise?”

“I’m not drunk enough for this.”

“Why are you shaking?”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“Is that my shirt?”

“Please don’t shut me out.”

“Go back to sleep.”

“I can take care of myself just fine.”

“This is new.”

“Take off your shirt.”

“Be you. No one else can.”

“I can’t breathe.”

“Are you going to talk to me?”

“I’m sorry.”

“They’re gone.”

“Just smile. I really need you to smile right now.”

“Would you just hold still?”

“I miss the way things used to be.”

“Am I dead?”

“Look at me.”

“Can we just pretend like we’re normal for once?”

“I told you not to fall in love with me.”

“Please shut up. Just shut up.”

“Please tell me it’s going to be okay.”

“Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything.”

“When you smile, I fall apart.”

“If I die, I’m never speaking to you again.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

“I just really miss talking to you.”

“I can’t do this on my own.”

“I’ve got you.”

“We’ll figure this out.”

“Please don’t say goodbye.”

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

“You make me feel alive.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“There is nothing wrong with you.”

“I’m just looking out for you.”

“Be careful.”

“You owe me.”

“Come with me.”

“I trust you.”

“I didn’t want you to see this.”

“I’ve been praying for you.”

“Take my jacket. It’s cold outside.”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“Let me help.”

“Come here.”

“You’re holding back.”

“Remember when we were little?”

“We’re all a little stronger than we think we are.”

“Don’t sell yourself short.”

“This isn’t who I am.”

“I’m willing to wait for it.”

“Are you ready for this?”

“You can do this.”

“Your life was my life’s best part.”

“You were always gold to me.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’m fine with where I am now.”

“We all want to be somebody.”

“Promise me you’ll come back.”

“I don’t know anyone else who can make me feel this way.”

“I’ve never felt stronger than when you’re with me.”

“I believe in you.”

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“I asked Iris where to find those yogurt drinks you like so much.”


“The Korean grocery store is all the way across town.“


“I know. So if I went all the way across town to get something you like, that means...”


“…You must really like yogurt?“

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atasteforsuicidal replied to your post “Can I just give you blanket prompting to ramble about the...”

god I miss them SO MUCH thank you for this. gd. Everything feels pretty accurate tbph.

they definitely have a place in my heart always <3 and i’m glad you agree with these thoughts!! 

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Can I just give you blanket prompting to ramble about the Smith-Matthews family or is that too vague lmao

whoaaaa throwback

i think every member of this family has been in therapy at some point. jamie did very badly with his first few and never transitions well, but he puts in the work (or tries to.)

jakamie will always bicker, but the number of fights they’ve had remains pretty low. they just happen to be very painful fights (highlights include: their reunion, the first few weeks they lived together, jamie being estranged from his family, etc.) 

wow those first two bullets were a lot. 

let’s be real tho, jak is on twitter -- he’s an author, 99% of them are. he doesn’t get caught up in discourse too often because jamie will just make a face whenever he tries to explain why he’s still awake aggressively typing away. 

jamie vastly prefers instagram, for the record. 

he *does* appear on jak’s twitter a lot, quoted and referenced...and every now and then someone will make a twitter thread about discovering jakoby smith’s hot boyfriend on instagram and everyone else is like yes. we know. did you not look at the pictures included in the book.

i think you’ve only mentioned him writing one book, but i always think of him with three, i don’t know why. 

i like him contributing a lot of essays to anthologies too and occasionally writing op-eds for different newspapers/sites. 

i’m retconning. jamie doesn’t say no to as many proposals as he once did. it ends up more of an on-going conversation for them, checking in every now and then with each other. it still has to hurt jak sometimes, but it stems more from a fear of change rather than not loving him enough. 

it’s still something a lot of their friends and family don’t understand & there’s at least one incident leading up to the wedding where some family member snarks it’s about time and one of them goes off. 

because YEAH it may be about time, but you’re not going to dampen this moment for them. 

if i had to pick faces now for their kids it would be so different tbh. i say that and then i don’t know who i’d pick but i WOULD. 

i said mark becomes a lawyer, but i can see him initially starting as a lawyer and then transitioning into guardian ad litem work. and he’s 100% a foster dad. 

nate and nat revolve each other for probably their whole lives. jamie will get off the phone with one just to get a phone call from the other almost right away. they never really live too far away from the other. it’s hard to say what they do career wise, though i think both of them move from job to job pretty frequently.

rosa gets into music production, ends up living out in joshua tree. she paints her front door a different color whenever she feels like it and has the world’s largest collection of floppy, wide-brimmed hats. she’s probably the most settled of her siblings, peaceful in a way none of them have managed. 

charlie struggles with feeling displaced his whole life. i think of all the siblings, he and jakamie go to family therapy together the most. i see him in culinary school, actually. he starts an ig or maybe a youtube channel dedicated to exploring indian dishes and talking about adoption/cultural heritage and how food plays into that. 

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What do you think would be Knox's favourite song off the new album?

i’ve only heard calm a few times BUT i think his favorite is a toss-up between 

best years 

but i'll build a house out of the mess and all the broken piecesi'll make up for all of your tears

& 

lonely heart 

can i have a second chance?can i have another dance?can i start another life with you?

they both just really speak knox to me, especially lonely heart in the context of the porters and his decision about california vs the band way back when. i think best years is about who he is now & lonely heart is about who he thought he might’ve been.