#kills everything and gives Saint a shotgun

[poorlytunedukulele]

Azra hesitated. She didn't quite know why. It should have been the easiest thing in the world to move- she needed to get into a better position, and movement was in her blood. Yet something stopped her. Her feet stayed firmly planted on the ground.

Spark hovered close over her shoulder. "It isn't going to be like last time," he said reassuringly.

Last time… last time, she had been an exile. And Osiris had asked for her help. And then he'd tried to kill her to bring Saint-14 back. After all the risks she'd taken to help him defeat Panoptes, after the pain and grief they'd shared together, he'd still decided to sacrifice her.

"You aren't Cursed this time," Spark said. "Osiris didn't send you here, the Aegis did. And you can make your own fate, like you did then."

"I'm scared," Azra said. "What if I jump in and there is a past version of me here, and it causes even worse paradoxes?" Worse, what if it didn't cause paradoxes? What if the Aegis could actually fix things, and the answer to the problem of Saint-14's death had been sitting in front of them the entire time? What if she could have saved him last time, if she'd just taken a second to consider her options instead of immediately focusing her anger on Osiris?

[catholic-character-tournament]

Finals - Resurrect Bracket (Losers Bracket)

ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to [make it to the finals]

Propaganda below ⬇️

Gabriel

Well he's an angel so I'm taking him being catholic as canon. There are a lot of themes in the game that point to catholisism specifically.

He's so fucking funny. he listens to nine inch nails and quotes one of the songs in a fight basically "fight me like an animal". he and v1 kind of have this yuri thing going on. he has an official bodypillow. hes a metaphor for being excommunicated and no one gets him like me and my friends do

The *true* Catholic experience is leaving the church and having a gay awakening, ask anyone

its debatable if Gabriel truly believes he's "the one true savior" or is mocking the idea of it

ok im actually gonna write some gabe propaganda bc despite what you may expect from a game called ULTRAKILL theres a lot to be said about his character and how catholicism is represented

Gabriel is a genuinely caring person who struggles to square his desire to help people with his duty as an archangel. He's the only one in Heaven trying to make things better for those in Hell, but his faith is used to manipulate him into committing atrocities against the people he used to protect (see the "TRAITOR" mural in 4-2)

he only realizes his mistakes after losing everything and being sentenced to death, but he still decides with only a little time remaining to try and make things right. for the sake of spoilers i will just say that the measures he takes are... extremely drastic and very enjoyable. i just really like the idea that even facing the end of all living things, no matter how steep your crimes, it is never too late to fix your mistakes. you are never unworthy forgiveness.

hes also SO FUCKING GAY for this dumb little robot. it mauled him so hard he tasted his own blood and he fell in love right there. theres no way this guy has a normal healthy relationship to pain he is soooooooooo fucked. i love him. please vote for Gabriel "patron saint of gay lapsed catholics" Ultrakill !!!!!!!!

Doomguy

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT DOOMSLAYER IN HERE

In the books he’s canonically Catholic. Haven’t played enough of the games to know but I think they keep it vague in the games. The books are pretty divergent from the games in some ways though so idk

Literally insane. Kills demons because of murder of pet rabbit. Traps himself in hell to give demons more whoopass.

In addition to being Catholic, Doomguy is canonically celibate, meaning he is, in fact, eligible to become the Pope. He’s also very proficient in exorcisms, if “blasting demons into a bloody mess with a shotgun” counts as an exorcism.

Literally kills demons & his universe’s equivalent of Satan

HE GOES TO HELL like 5 times to fight demons and protect earth. He’s also canonically celibate.

[shmowder]

SHMOWDER IT WORKED I have successfully replaced the portraits in P1 with the P2 portraits ♥️♥️♥️ My head was spinning at first because my only modding experience has been installing Sims mods, which has prepared me for basically nothing. But I followed a guide, spent a while resizing pictures, and I truly wasn't expecting it to work when I launched the game but IT ACTUALLY DID.

Ngl I wasn't exactly having the time of my life in P1 yesterday. I haven't yet mastered the art of not getting stabbed to death, and I learned that you WILL get infected by plague clouds unless your immunity is at 100% and even then it's a possibility, which is not only evil but also rude, and all the immunity boosters that I have will lower your health and I barely have any bandages, and half the drunks I try to trade with aren't even carrying anything!

I spent so much time save scumming. Before combat, in infected districts, in the burned district (I'm on day 4) because those looters are even worse than the bandits you get at night; I can only deal with them with the shotgun and I don't have much ammo so it's really only worth it if there's a loaf of bread on the first floor.

To add insult to injury I found a girl with a shmowder but I didn't have enough junk to trade!! I did find many more trash cans and bins, and it's really fun to break into and loot regular houses.

In other words, I'm having the typical Pathologic experience :P I will persevere. I feel energized now that I got the portrait thing to work. Some of them were ok but it's just that I need to see my little pixel babies at all times actually safdsjfja; and this may be dumb af but now that I'm playing P1, I don't want P2 to be like... overwritten by it in my mind? Idk, I have a sneaking suspicion that's an unhinged thing to say but whatever.

-

Hehe thank you kindly for mentioning Victor and Yulia when you talked about the traits you assign to each character when writing smut. Getting ahead of me before I could ask lmao. Because I most likely would have >:)

So, Stakh is the least vocal in bed? Yeah, I can see that. Who do you think is the most vocal?

🐿️ anon

Hell yeah! Great job <3 I'm so happy it worked! Moding can be really confusing and exhausting, especially for an older niche game like P1 omfg you must have the patience of a saint to figure it out.

It is kinda surreal hearing you talk about your P1 experience, I never thought I'd really get anyone to play it besides myself. I'm just so happy! I hope you see all the love that was clearly poured into it, I hope you understand just why I fell in love with it, I hope your experience is touching and unique.

And dw, you'll get the hang of everything in time. I struggled a lot, too. Hell, some mechanics I still can't quite master but that's okay. The game surprisingly gives you leeway? There are multiple ways of earing food/money necessary for survival and each of them come with their own costs.

The house looters are much harder than to deal with yeah. Here is my tip, there is usually just one on the first floor. Q.Save outside the door, then get in and try to headshot him while he runs at you. Then Q.save again. Loot the whole ground floor and Q.Save before going up the stairs.

When on the stairs, just make sure to step on the second floor once before immediately rushing downstairs and waiting at the end of a long hall or in a room. Briefly touching the second floor once is enough to alarm the enemy AI of your presence and the looters will go down the stairs to chase you after a short pause.

Sometimes they get stuck on the stairs and you get lucky and can kill them from far away! Other times, they come down normally. But because you're anticipating them at the end of the hallway, headshooting them becomes much easier.

A headshot from a rifle or a shotgun is fatal, but not from a pistol. I know it's annoying to try an aim, constantly having to Q.Save and Q.Load to avoid wasting bullets but it's necessary for your bullet economy to not use more than one bullet per person. using 2 every now and then is okay, although save it for emergencies. However, using 3 is absolutely horrifying and an instant Q.Load.

A loaf bread is actually really worth it. It removes 25% of your hunger, the same as raw meat and raw fish. While being at only a fraction of the price and more commok to spawn. Don't bother eating anything than bread, raw meat and fish. Everything else just sell or trade for herbs. Yes the worms accept food too for herbs and not just human organs! Then after collecting 50 herbs, go to Andrey and trade him for a shotgun which you can sell and buy food with the money.

The immunity thing is true, you can still get infected at 100%. Save your yellow immunity pills however, DO NOT sell them. You'll need around 50 or so for a quest later on.

Don't bother with infected houses until late game when you actually have decent protective gear that prevent plague clouds from infecting you with one touch, you'll still have to evade them tho. Two touches and you're done.

But. If you want to bother with the infected houses for the tasty bullet loot inside. Simply outsmart the system.

Plague clouds and looters positions reset when you exist a house. All you have to do is Q.Save before enterting a house, normally loot the place, even if you get infected dw just ignore the plague clouds and act casual for now. Memorise where the cabinets with the good loot are located inside the house, then Q.Load.

Now be as stealthy and swift as a tiger and immediately run towards the most valuable loot cabinets. After emptying one single Cabinet, rush outside the house before the plague clouds can corner you and Q.Save again. Rinse and repeat after every Cabinet, it will be easy peasy lemon squeezy bc the plague clouds position will reset and grant you more leeway each time.

For knife/fist fighting. Remember to press hit before moving towards the enemy, like much much before it, there is a 1.5 seconds delay between your hit press and when the knife actually lands. Also the place you aim with your vision effects your dmg btw.

So if the crosshair is positioned on their head/neck, the knife will do more dmg and kill them faster.

But if it's on their chest/shoulder, you'll do very little dmg and have to hit them more times.

You also need to immediately back away as your hit lands bc they will attempt to slash you. It takes practice but eventually it becomes a second nature, and trust me mastering mele combat is very important to the Haruspex route.

Never sell your shit to Bad Grief, he always lowballs you. Likewise never buy shit from him that you can buy from other stores.

The tailor above Maria's wing of the crucible pays the most for your items! It's like a 25% margin profit which comes in handy.

Teensy, the shmowder kid, only accepts nuts, flowers, needles and hooks. Try not to trade those items and save them for her, you'll need 10 of each for a shmowder except the nuts which are valued at 2 so you'll need 5. BUT the peanuts are the only nuts which are valued at 1, so you'll need 10 of them unlike the other nuts.

The crowbars you get from killing looters can be traded with the small black haired boy for bullets, it also can be traded with gaurds for raw meat but that offer goes away when the army moves in.

Rifle's bullets are the cheapest to buy, then comes shotguns and finally pistols. Sell any pistol bullets you find, preferably at Maria's tailor and never Bad Grief.

The map lies to you sometimes about certian fences and shortcuts.

Shops inventory are rerolled the first time you enter them for the day, then become permanent until you enter them the next day. You can savescum your way into making shops give you the items you want if you Q.Save before entering them, but after that you'll need to wait for a daily reset at 12am in order to reroll again.

Nuts stay relatively cheap even when the prices rise, and since groceries are useless throughout the game after the first day, I used this method to force each one of them to give me at least one nut. That's like 7 nuts perday if not more. Which guarantees me a shmowder perday without having to scarifice my needles or hooks for teensy since she is the only kid which values nuts at two while trading them with anyone else will come at a loss bc they value nuts at 1.

I'm on day 3 and I already have 6 shmowders! Yes I had to reroll for teensy inventory, which that method works too! but it's ah a bit more complicated? Basically certian numbers of npcs are predertimed to spawn outside once you enter a building, so even if you savescum before existing, it will always be the same npcs.

Which means if you save on a street with two teensy, you can reroll until one of them gives you a shmowder which is a 1/10 drop chance... well in P2 it is 1/10. In P1, it felt more like 1/15 or 1/20 tbh.

And those are good odds! Coming from a gambling addition revoveree who rerolled gacha games for the 0.1% chance of landing an SSR character in the first ten pull. One time I rerolled for a 0.015% dropchance character and somehow got it.

Eitherway! If this is overwhelming then don't worry about any of what I just said and play however you want. But if you truly want tips and to improve then I'll gladly help <3

And... yeah, your fears are true. The two games will muddy each other in your brain and you'll mix up events from them. I was telling something to a friend about Aglay before realising I was completely talking about P1 when they've only played P2. Even I forget where certian info came from anymore.

You can always replay P2, tho. Appreciate the convince of well designed streets. Looks like Yulia actually earned her degree this time around rather than buying it off of amazon.

[onedeadkitty]

Ok so act 4

Was great basically.

I’m kinda reading really fast so I’m not catching or remembering everything but I’ve come to terms that I will reread it all probably.

Harrow is the wettest cat and the saddest girlie in the world for real also so smart and dumb dumb baby girl.

I wish I put more effort in this semi liveblog thing but I read to much and post to little for that to have been realistic unfortunately :/

**spoilers**

Harrow chopping off ianthes arm sexily is exactly the crazy shit I signed up for. Also harrow getting attacked in the shower, tricking people to eating her own flesh without their knowledge in order to explode them from the inside out via skeletons, harrow being madly infatuated with a corpse and hallucinating her all the time, infinite oceans of blood and corpses, walking corpseof cytheria killing the saint of duty by liking him in an incinerator, the sleeper being a slasher killer with a hazmat suit and a shotgun and Harrow giving hERSELF A LOBOTOMY its everything a girl could dream of 🥹

[humanperryfic]

AHHH I HAVE ONE!!!

(ok it’s human perry/perryshmirtz, but still)

uhhh song list under cut because there's 120 songs in here

Ghengis Khan (Miike Snow)

Kiss with a Fist (Florence + The Machine)

You Snuck Your Way Right Into My Heart

Wrecking Ball (Mother Mother)

Toxic (Britney Spears)

Dazed and Confused (Ruel)

Good in Bed (Dua Lipa)

I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You (UB40)

Take Me to Church (I WANT THIS VERSION THOUGH SPOTIFY PLEASE)

Whatever it Takes (Imagine Dragons...I know)

How to Save a Life (The Fray)

Queer as in Fuck You (Dog Park Dissidents)

No Time to Die (Billie Eilish)

Boys Don’t Cry (The Cure)

Almost Human (Aurelio Voltaire)

I Got a Thing for You (Stan Bush)

I Still Adore You (The Oozes)

Nemeses (Jonathan Coulton)

Bleed Like Me (Garbage)

Break My Face (AJR)

Nobody Loves You Like Me (Jonathan Coulton)

Silent Shout (The Knife)

Arms Tonite (Mother Mother)

Feelings Are Fatal (mxmtoon)

I Don’t Hate My Body I’m Just Afraid of It (Mallrat)

Would You Be So Kind (dodie)

Something Just Like This (The Chainsmokers)

Silence (Marshmello)

Secrets (OneRepublic)

Happier (Marshmello)

I'd Rather Be Me (With You) (Steven Universe)

Angel With A Shotgun (The Cab...if this isn't on your enemies-to-lovers ship playlist then do you even have an enemies-to-lovers ship playlist?)

Nightmare (Set It Off)

Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've?) (Buzzcocks)

I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor Swift)

Everything's Magic (Angels & Airwaves)

Hate to Love You (Karmin)

broken (lovelytheband)

Broken Pieces (Andy Black)

Chemicals React - Remix (Aly & AJ)

If I Killed Someone For You (Alec Benjamin)

Battlefield (Jordin Sparks)

bad guy (Billie Eilish)

Stupid for You (Waterparks)

Must Have Done Something Right (Relient K...there's an AMV somewhere on tumblr of this)

Problems (Mother Mother)

good 4 u (Olivia Rodrigo)

Skin (Sabrina Carpenter)

May I Have This Dance (Francis and the Lights)

Doin' Time (Lana Del Rey)

Cigarettes & Feelings (The Haunt)

THATS WHAT I WANT (Lil Nas X)

Stereo Hearts (Gym Class Heroes)

9 to 5 (Dolly Parton)

Drive (Incubus)

Heat Waves (Glass Animals)

The Killing Kind (Marianas Trench)

Still into You (Paramore)

Surface Pressure (Encanto)

Burn (Ellie Goulding)

Daydream/Wetdream/Nightmare (Saint Motel)

Treat You Better (Shawn Mendes)

Cracked (Pentatonix)

Cheerleader (OMI)

Airplanes (B.o.Bo, Hayley Williams)

I Hate Myself for Loving You (Joan Jett & the Blackhearts)

The Jazz Police (Gordon Goodwin's Big Phat Band)

Resin (Dustin Tebbutt)

MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name) (Lil Nas X)

Love & War (Yellow Claw)

spy? (WHOKILLEDXIX)

Bad Reputation (Joan Jett & the Blackhearts)

Hayloft II (Mother Mother)

Hey Baby (Auburn University Marching Band)

Helpless (Hamilton)

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park (Tom Lehrer)

The Masochism Tango (Tom Lehrer)

The Science Love Song (AsapSCIENCE)

Blood In The Cut (K.Flay)

Body Language (Carly Rae Jepsen)

Hope Less Romantic (Make Out Monday)

Summer Nights (Grease)

Revolver (Zach Villa)

Scars (Papa Roach)

I Deserve to Bleed (Sushi Soucy)

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (Set It Off)

Lips Are Movin (Meghan Trainor)

Killer In The Mirror (Set It Off)

Who I'd Be (Shrek the Musical)

Nobody Like U (Turning Red)

Turn To Stone (Ingrid Michaelson)

Define Dancing (Wall-E)

B Team (Marianas Trench)

I Wanna Get Better (ATC, The Ready Set) (there's another version but this one is better)

History Maker (DEAN FUJIOKA)

Seasons of Love (Rent)

reckless driving (Lizzy McAlpine, Ben Kessler) (it's giving drusselstien driving test)

Between Two Worlds (HammerFall)

Monster (Beth Crowley)

ノンフィクション (Ken Hirai)

Fuck You (Lily Allen)

Shut Up and Dance (WALK THE MOON)

What Is This Feeling (Wicked)

What Makes You Beautiful (One Direction...shut up)

Control (Halsey)

Killer (The Ready Set)

Turning Tables (Adele)

Cbat (Hudson Mohawke...you know doof would play this)

I'm Not Ok (Weathers)

Icarus (Bastille)

You'd Be Paranoid Too (If Everyone Was Out To Get You) (Waterparks)

Summer of Love (Kids In America)

Sleepless (CAZZETTE, The High)

Me And My Broken Heart (Rixton)

More Than Words (Extreme)

Bills (LunchMoney Lewis)

Hero (Faouzia)

The Villain I Appear to Be (Connor Spiotto, Molly Pease)

Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

Graveyard (Halsey)

trying to make a Perryshmirtz playlist. Need ideas for songs.

Please Help. Already have

I Knew You Were Trouble.

American Beauty/American Psycho

Disgusting

Love Like You

My Blood

Super Psycho Love

I Hate You, I Love You

Hot N Cold

Flares

Docter

I'm Coming After You

I Do Adore

Must Have Done Something Right

Genghis Khan

A Musical

There! Right There!

JUST LOOK MY WAY

Nemeses

Can I Have This Dance

When We Didn't Get Along

Also unrelated but I originally the P in Perryshmirtz wasn't capitalized. Grammarly is so fucking used to hearing about Perryshmirtz it just fucking tells me "Oh yeah, you didnt capitalize the ship name to the gay secret agent and bisexual "evil" scientist. Might wanna change that. lmao."

what is my life

[oneofyatosfollowers]

Happy Yato Day! The Yatogami Playlist!

Based on lyrics :D 

Songs about Yaboku: 

Never Be Alone- Shawn Mendes

I know there are some things we need to talk about/ And I can't stay/ Just let me hold you for a little longer now

The Call- Regina Spektor

It started out as a feeling/ Which then grew into a hope

Lovely- Billie Eilish

Oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here/ Even if it takes all night or a hundred years

Escapism- Steven Universe 

I guess I have to face/That in this awful place/I shouldn't show a trace of doubt

Paralyzed- NF

Where are my feelings?/I no longer feel things/I know I should

Blue Lips- Regina Spektor

He stumbled into faith and thought/God this is all there is

Karma- AJR

I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly/ I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?

Remember Me- Miguel

Remember me/ Though I have to travel far/ Remember me

Feelings are Fatal- Mxmtoon

I'm always lonely/ But I can't tell you/ That I'm breaking slowly

Natural- Imagine Dragon

Yeah, you're a natural/Living your life cutthroat/You gotta be so cold

(S)He Used to be Mine- Sarah Bareilles 

If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back/ For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two

I Can’t Decide- Scissor Sisters

My heart feels dead inside/It's cold and hard and petrified

Death Bed- Powfu, Beabadoobee

I don't know why this has happened / But I probably deserve it/ I tried to do my best/ But you know that I'm not perfect

Human- Christina Perri

I can turn it on/Be a good machine/I can hold the weight of worlds/If that's what you need

Songs about Yato:

All This and Heaven- Florence + the Machine

I would give it all if only for a moment/ That I could just understand 

It’s Alright- Mother Mother

You're not a demon, there's a reason/You're behaving that way

High Hopes- Panic! At the Disco

Didn’t have a dime but I always had a vision

Waiting For Love- Avicii

Monday left me broken/Tuesday I was through with hoping

IDK You Yet- Alexander 23

But can you find me soon because I'm in my head?/Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet

I’m Still Standing- Elton John

I'm still standing after all this time/Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

The Villain I Appear to be- Connor Spiotto

Just please hold on and soon you'll see/That I'm not the villain I appear to be

Titanium- David Guetta

I'm bulletproof nothing to lose/Fire away, fire away

In My Blood- Shawn Mendes

Sometimes I feel like giving up/But I just can't/It isn't in my blood

Glitter and Gold- Barns Courtney 

I've got fire in my soul/Rise up, ting ting, like glitter

Oh My Dear Lord- The Unlikely Candidates 

I was a good guy, but I was the worst type/Give me an inch man, and I'll take a mile

Angel With A Shotgun- The Cab

Don't you know you're everything I have?/And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight

Get Back Up Again- Anna Kendrick

'Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again

This is Me- The Greatest Showmen

I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars/Run away, they say/No one'll love you as you are

A Million Dreams- The Greatest Showmen

A million dreams is all it's gonna take

Yato’s relationship with Yukine:

You Are My Sunshine- Johnny Cash

You'll never know dear, how much I love you/Please don't take my sunshine away

The Only Exception-Paramore

And up until now/I had sworn to myself that I'm content/With loneliness

Light- Sleeping At Last

With every heartbeat I have left/I will defend your every breath/And I'll do better

You Say- Lauren Daigle

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity

King- Lauren Aquilina

You don't gain a single thing from misery/Take it from me.

My Love, My Life- Mama Mia 2

You will be my love and my life/You're my one and only

Love Like You- Steven Universe

Look at you go/I just adore you

Carried Me With You- Brandi Carlile

You're the soul who understands/The scars that made me who I am/Through the drifting sands of time/I got your back and you got mine

Your Song- Elton John

I hope you don't mind/That I put down in words/How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I Just Haven’t Met You Yet- Michael Bublé

Not everything lasts/I've broken my heart so many times/I stopped keepin' track

Writings on the Wall- Sam Smith 

Tell me is this where I give it all up?/For you I have to risk it all/'Cause the writing's on the wall

Yato’s relationship with Father: 

Gravity- Sara Bareilles

Set me free, leave me be/I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity

If I Killed Someone For You- Alec Benjamin

Would you love me more (would you love me more)/If I killed someone for you?

I Have Questions- Camilo Cabello

Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool?/I should have never ever ever trusted you

Saint Bernard- Lincoln 

You always said how you loved dogs/I don't know if I count/But I'm trying my best

Love The Way You Lie Pt.2- Rihanna

On the first page of our story/The future seemed so bright/Then this thing turned out so evil/I don't know why I'm still surprised

Yato’s relationship with Nora: 

Two Birds- Regina Spektor

Two birds on a wire/One says c'mon and the other says "I'm tired"

Kids Again- Artist vs Poet

I know a girl who's never tried to settle down/She wears her loneliness like a crown

Little Do You Know- Alex & Sierra

I'm still haunted by the memories/Little do you know/I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece

Colors- Halsey

And now he's so devoid of color/He don't know what it means/And he's blue

Hey Brother- Avicii

Hey brother! Do you still believe in one another?/Hey sister! Do you still believe in love? I wonder

The Other Side- Zac Efron, Hugh Jackman

I know you see it/You run with me/And I can cut you free/Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in

[erin-bo-berin]

Angel With A Shotgun

MASTERLIST

This is my first fic that actually involves no smut. I was inspired by Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab and the Truth or Dare hostage scene from 14x15. If you want to listen to the song beforehand or while you read it, you can here. This one happens to be written all from Spencer’s point of view as well, which was different for a change. Like the last fic I posted, lyrics from the song will be in italics in between parts of the story. Happy reading!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: G (just some drama, nothing else)

Word Count: 2,233

Get out your guns, battles begun

Are you a saint, or a sinner?

Darkness was all he could see. He heard scuffling as he was being transported. He could hear her uneven breath from behind him and he was relieved to know she was still nearby, even though this wasn’t exactly an ideal situation.

He was pushed to his knees, ordered to sit. The sound of duct tape ripping filled the silence and his wrists were bound together. He sensed movement to his right and he knew it was her turn to be bound. 

A moment later the blindfolds were ripped off.

Spencer squinted in the bright light and looked over to see her, his partner, with a stoic expression on her face. He knew her well though, she was terrified, but keeping her cool. Between the ever so slight widening of her eyes, and her frantic assessment of him, Spencer knew just how freaked out she was on the inside.

“Well, so nice of you to play the game, agents.” 

“We didn’t exactly have much of a choice did we?” she deadpanned.

Spencer looked up into the face of their captor. It had started like any normal case, just a week ago.

Victim had been killed, gunshot wounds to abdomen and chest. It was only when they started looking into the case that things got stranger, like the fact that the shooter wasn’t the actual unsub. 

The actual unsub was playing a twisted game of Truth or Dare and kidnapping the victim’s loved ones, forcing them to commit murder before they could be released, if they ever were.

The real unsub was standing in front of them. They had managed to fall right into his trap and now they had become his hostages.

They’d cornered him in a jewelry store and after he’d shot both a civilian and the worker, he’d taken their guns, blindfolded them and bound them until he was ready to play with them. Apparently that time had come.

Spencer looked around, noticing the broken glass of a jewelry case, the dead worker laying next to it. They’d been moved to another part of the large store, most likely the reason for their blindfolds, so they wouldn’t know just exactly where he was taking them. Before he could give his surroundings much more thought he whipped his head back around towards the man.

“We’re not going to play your game,” she said, “There are feds and cops crawling outside and you aren’t going to get out of this by playing games.”

“Oh, is that so?”

Before Spencer saw it coming, the unsub had hit her upside the head with the butt of his gun.

She groaned, putting a hand to her head and wincing. Already blood was escaping the cut on her forehead, that the hit had created.

“Hey, stop it!” Spencer yelled.

“That’s what she gets for not playing by the rules,” he sneered, before turning back towards her, “Now, agent, truth or dare?”

If loves a fight

Than I shall die

With my heart on the trigger 

She glared up at him, not backing down from the fight, even though she’d already taken a hit.

Spencer had to admire her. For all her fear came twice as much courage. She was the bravest person he knew.

He’d also been harboring a love for her.

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what moment it happened other than one day realizing that she was the love of his life.

He would do anything to protect her. 

His eyes slid sideways to the broken glass. One shard sat just out of reach; if he could get a hold of it without making the unsub suspicious, then he could have a good chance at cutting the tape apart.

“This isn’t the way to do this,” she said, holding all of his attention.

With a slight lean to his left as if he’s just trying to wriggle into a different sitting position, his hand touched the piece of glass. His attention was still on her.

“I’m not going to prison,” he laughed, “I know how this will end. Now I’m gonna ask you one more time, truth or dare?”

The barrel of his gun is angled at her. Spencer knew he had to get the gun aimed away from her. If it’s the last thing he does in this world, he isn’t going to let her get hurt.

She’s about to speak when he answers.

“I’ll play.”

They say before you start a war

You better know what you’re fighting for 

The gun turned on him. 

Good.

“Truth or dare, pretty boy?”

“Truth.” Spencer looked him dead in the eye, letting him know he’s as serious as him.

“I want you to tell your deepest, darkest secret.”

Slowly, but surely while appeasing the unsub, Spencer kept sawing the shard against the duct tape. It was making a tiny bit of progress, he just had to keep stalling.

Spencer took a deep breath before answering.

“I was wrongly convicted and in prison for three months,” he began.

“That better not be your secret, cause if it is, I’ll shoot you right now.”

“No that’s not my secret,” Spencer said, “While I was in prison I tampered with some drugs another inmate wanted me to move and I hurt a lot of men that I didn’t intend to.”

The unsub laughed like he’d just said the funniest joke ever.

“Oh we got a badass here. Is that all you got? People do shit like that and worse all the time. I’m not gonna warn you again. I want to know something that no one else knows.”

Well baby you are all that I adore 

If love is what you need a soldier I will be 

Spencer glanced over at her before answering. 

They’re in the middle of a life or death situation, her clothes and hair are all rumpled and out of place and there’s blood sliding down her cheek and the side of her face. Even so, she’s still the most beautiful girl he’s ever known.

If he had any other choice, he would never even consider saying it, but this could be their only chance out of this hostage situation. He turned to face him again; he doesn’t know if he can look at her when he says it.

“I’m in love with my partner, SSA Y/N Y/L/N. I have been for nearly a decade.”

He faced her again when he heard a slight gasp come from her direction.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you sooner or maybe I shouldn’t have at all. I never really intended on telling you, but now it’s out there. I’ve always loved you.”

He can’t read the expression on her face. Is it a mixture of hurt? Confusion? To know her so well, this was one of the few times he had no idea what she was thinking.

Her lips are parted in surprise and she’s staring at him, slightly wide eyed, her brows pulled together. Maybe she thinks he’s lying, just saying something believable for the unsub. That might be a blessing in disguise. 

“Wow.” 

The unsub whistled above them, but Spencer doesn’t break his gaze from hers. All he wants to do is hold her and say he’s sorry, he never wanted it to happen this way, but now it has. He had basically just dropped an exploding bomb over her head all while they were being held hostage.

“Now that’s a secret. I’ll tell you what. I’m not going to kill you,” he grinned, pulling the gun away from Spencer’s direction.

“Instead, I’m going to kill your partner. It’ll be way more fun to watch you suffer.”

The next few seconds happened in a blur.

The gun swivels towards her and goes off before Spencer can even react. She shrieked as she fell backwards from her crouched position, her head hitting the floor hard. The unsub’s focus is no longer on him, it’s still on her, ready to take another shot.

The tape finally breaks apart.

I’m an angel with a shotgun

Fighting ‘til the wars won

I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back 

Gunfire rang in Spencer’s ears.

But this shot didn’t hit her nor is it from the unsub’s gun. This one came from Spencer’s own piece.

After the tape broke, he’d reached for his second gun and shot the unsub, in one swift movement. The unknown gun had been hidden in his ankle holder this entire time, it had just been a matter of getting to it. 

The unsub fell with a thud, but he can’t spare a moment of thought about him. He has to focus on the most important thing. 

The fact that she hasn’t moved since she was shot.

He’s on his feet, ignoring the blood on his hand from the glass.

He runs towards her as fast as he can.

I’ll throw away my faith babe

Just to keep you safe

Don’t you know you’re everything I have?

“Y/N, Y/N,” Spencer hovered over her, eyes trying to locate where she’d been hit.

He spots the gunshot wound in her shoulder and covered it with his fingers, attempting to stanch the bleeding. He thought she’d lost consciousness, possibly from hitting her head, but he’s so panicked, he can’t think straight. The normal process of his ever running brain has come to a halt and he can’t think straight.

“Y/N, stay with me. You’re gonna be okay.”

He shouted at the SWAT members he could hear pouring through the front door that he needs medical, as fast as possible.

He turned back to her when he heard a tiny groan and saw her coming to. Relief washes over him when he realizes she hasn’t lost consciousness. 

“Spencer?” she mumbled.

“I’m right here, you’re gonna be okay.”

Her face contorted in pain and she tried to sit up.

“No, stay still. You’ve been shot and have a possible concussion.”

“What happened?” she asked weakly.

“I managed to cut through the restraints with a piece of glass and shot him with the gun in my ankle holster.”

“My hero.” 

Her smile is faint and his heart aches, hating to see her this way. If only he’d been faster.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, this is my fault. If I’d only shot him sooner-”

“Spence,” she interrupted, “About what you said.”

“Forget about it,” he said quickly and before anything else could be said he was quickly replaced by the EMTs that surrounded her.

He was soon swept away in the chaos of the agents, paramedics and police that filled the area. He was taken outside by one of his teammates to get his own injuries checked out.

“Is she going to be okay?” he asked, trying to control the frenzied feeling building inside of him.

He had seen her injured so many times before. But he truly never realized just how much he loved her until he saw her lying, bleeding on the floor today.

“I heard them say it seemed to be a flesh wound, but they need to get her to the hospital,” someone answered him, although he couldn’t say exactly who it was.

He needed her to be okay.

And I, wanna live, not just survive tonight

His hand was halfway wrapped by a paramedic when he saw her being taken toward the ambulance, one of the paramedics that was with her coming towards him.

All of his fears flooded to the front of his mind, expecting to hear the worst.

“She’s asking for you, but we need to go now.”

It didn’t take him any time to make up his mind.

“I’m going with her.”

“Agent, your hand,” the one paramedic who had been tending to his injuries said, indicating the half wrapped hand.

“It’s fine, I’m going.”

He didn’t miss the man’s exasperated look, but he didn't care about his hand at all; he cared way more about her.

They had just loaded her in the back of the ambulance when Spencer hopped in.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Her restraints had been cut away and her arms laid on each side of her. Her shoulder was less bloody as they’d managed to temporarily stopped the bleeding. Her head and forehead was still bloody, some drying in the wisps of her hair that had fallen out of her ponytail. He ached to hold her, to feel her breathing against him, just to reassure himself that she was indeed alright.

“Everything hurts, but they said I’d live,” she joked.

He chuckled, not surprised that even at a moment like this she could still make him smile.

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern clouding her features.

“Just a cut hand, I’ll be fine.”

He settled by her side, intending not to leave her for the foreseeable future.

“Spencer?”

“Yeah?”

Her face is serious, her gaze level on his.

“I’m not sure if you meant it or not, but I wanted you to know that I love you, too.”

Realization spread across his face as it sinks in what she just said. He looked down, noticing her hand outstretched just the slightest towards him. 

He put his hand in hers and she slowly intertwined her fingers with his.

If love is what you need

A soldier I will be

[sweets-fanfics]

Homecoming 20

Title: It’s been a day

Word count: 2713

Warnings: Fucking Micah i guess, and dutch is goin’ crazy.

Tags: @rollyjogerjones

AN: This was going to be a lot longer but for your sake’s it’s being split into part 21 when my favorite side mission begins (Charlotte)

__________________

“You are mighty brave, Micah Bell. I could shoot you right now,” You clicked back the hammer and glared at him. 

“Aw well, you can’t do that.”

“And why not?” 

A gun clicked behind you, “Because he isn’t alone, Miss Van Der Linde.” Agent Milton added. “Get off the horse.”

“We are in the middle of the city, you want to do this now?” You ask as you put your pistol away and hop off of Suzie.

“We need to have a chat.”

“I already said I won’t work for you-” 

“That’s not what this meeting is about.” Milton cut you off. “You haven’t been a very well behaved lady since your husband’s return.”

“He came back yesterday. How have I fucked up so badly?” You ask sarcastically.

“Well one, you told Dutch.” Micah grinned. “But luckily your father is a complete idiot and trusts me unlike you.”

“You had two years on a godforsaken island to get in his head.” You mumble.

“And two, you are planning on leaving the gang,” Micah added over you.

Shit. He knew? Does that mean your father will know? “How the hell did you-”

“Oh, it’s obvious. You visiting your rich friends here in town. Morgan being hush hush and talking alone to Jonny Boy. You all want to leave. But I can’t let ya do that.”

“Why not?”

“Who knows what might happen to that little girl of yours…” Agent Milton hints making you reach for your pistol and aim it at him. Micah pulled out one of his and aimed it at you making you stop. 

“You don’t get to threaten her.” You growl. “I guarantee you’ll end up in the ground.” You put away your pistol and climb back onto Suzie.

“We aren’t done here, Miss Van-”

“It’s Mrs. Morgan, agent Milton. And we are done.” You glare at Micah, “This is your one chance to disappear forever. If I see you take a damn step towards my family, I’ll shoot you where you stand.”

“Why? Dutch trusts me more than he trusts you.”

You roll your eyes as you turn Suzie to leave, “Yeah, I only held this damn family together while ya’ll were gone.”

____________________

You rode into the new camp and hitched Suzie near Athena. You hadn’t meant to get to camp so fast, you wanted to get some distance from everything for a while but next thing you knew you were in camp. 

“Momma!” Bea’s voice ripped you from your thoughts as she waddled up to you and grabbed onto your leg. “Hi.” She mumbled.

“Hi baby,” You lifted her up and hugged her close to you. “Momma got lost.” You lied.

“Lost?” Arthur asked walking up. 

You smiled as he kissed your cheek, “Yeah… I guess I spaced out and next thing I knew I was lost.” You could tell Arthur knew you were bullshitting but he wasn’t going to ask now.

“Well let’s get you some stew.” He says as the three of you walk up to Pearson. 

As Arthur grabs two bowls you hear your father yelling. When you glance over you see it’s him yelling at Susan.

“What’s goin’ on?” You ask your husband.

“Someone smashed the donation box.”

“What the hell?” You watch as Dutch gets angrier and gets in Susan’s face calling her mean names. “He’s become such a nasty man.”

“What an awful thing to say about your own father,” Bill grumbles nearby where he’s eating.

“That’s so strange because I don’t believe I was talkin’ to you.” You say sweetly as you feed a bit of stew from your bowl to Bea.

“Maybe you should learn some manners?” Bill stood up.

As he walked over Arthur got between the two of you and glared at Bill, “Maybe you should go cool off, Bill.” Arthur's voice comes off as a threat.

“This woman has changed you, Morgan.”

“That woman is only thing keeping me from beating you right here and now so it be best you walk away right now.” Arthur’s voice was a low growl. It worked though because Bill backed up and walked away grumbling.

“Thank you, Arthur.” 

“Best you stay near me for a while,” Arthur says pushing you towards your shared tent to eat. 

___________

“I found her,” Uncle says making you glance up from your spot on the ground where you were combing Bea’s hair.

Uncle walked up with a very drunk Molly. After everything happened she would only stay in camp for a little bit from time to time but was out most of the time. You and Sadie always knew where she was but gave her her space.

“So nice of you to finally join us, Miss O’Shea.” Your father says sarcastically.

“I loved you, Dutch!” Molly slurs, “I gave you everything! Everything! And all I got was nothing!”

“Please calm down!” Dutch snaps. 

Bea turns and climbs into your arms as you stand. She hides her face in your hair as you move in to listen to them.

“...I told them!” You catch Molly say at the end of her sentence as you walk up. 

“What?” Dutch asks as the whole camp goes quiet.

“You heard me! I told them everything!” Molly slurred and pointed at Dutch.

Dutch pulls out his pistol but Arthur stops him, “Dutch, she ain’t worth it. She’s lost it.”

“You know the rules, Arthur!” Dutch warns.

“Why couldn’t you just love me back?” Molly asks.

“What did you tell them?” Dutch asks.

“Why couldn’t you just treat me with some god damn respect!”

“Woman, what did you say to them!” Dutch asks again getting louder. Bea at this point is squeezing your neck.

“I loved you-” A shot rang out making you jump and Bea and the other ladies let out a quick scream. You turn and look at Susan holding a shotgun.

“Susan!” You yell, angry.

“She knew the rules, Y/N.” You could feel yourself getting angry so you just turned away trying to calm a now crying Bea. “Mr. Williamson, burn her body.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.” You say to Susan again. Instead of replying she only sighs and walks away as you watch Bill and the other men move Molly’s body.

You glance at Arthur as he’s racking his hands through his hair, equally as stressed out as you. He walks up and hugs you and Bea. “We’ll go soon,” He whispers so only you hear. You nod as Bea reaches for Arthur.

He instantly smiles and takes his daughter. “Wanna go look at the water before bed?” He asks her.

“Yes,” Bea replies instantly.

“Y/N, can I speak to you and Henry a moment?” Dutch asks as you begin to walk away with Arthur. 

You glance at your husband and give him a sad smile, “I’ll join you two in a bit.” He kisses you softly before walking away as you walked up to your father.

He was sitting in his tent with a book in hand, acting as if the woman he ‘loved’ wasn’t just shot in front of him. Henry steps up next to you and smiles at you.

“In times like this, I need you two to be my biggest supporters…” Dutch begins.

“You know we will always trust you a hundred percent, father,” Henry says without a second thought.

“Daughter, do you feel the same way?” He had noticed how you hadn’t looked up from your shoes. You glanced up at him. You could tell this was a test. 

“I… Am I allowed to be honest?” You ask.

“That’s all I want.”

“I think we are in over our heads at the moment. Someone was just killed in our camp before we were even able to see if she was telling the truth.” You look back at Molly’s blood still wet on the floor. “I used to have full faith in you, Pa. But something is different about you and it scares me.”

“Hm.” Is all he says.

“Y/N, you should really put more faith in him,” Henry speaks up. “He took us in when we lost everything.”

“Because one of his enemies burnt our house down.” You snap. “I don’t mean to be so upfront, but someone needs to be since Hosea is gone.”

“You can’t replace him.” You glare at Henry. “Just do your job and stand by our father. You have way too much freedom in my opinion.” Henry had never spoken to you this way. “You get too many ideas from the family you visit in Saint Denise.”

“What family?” Dutch asks.

“It’s nothing-”

“It’s Bronte’s son and his wife,” Henry answers over you. “She goes to visit them.”

“Only because they have a child Bea’s age.” 

As if you needed another excuse to be lectured a horse rode into camp making everyone lookup. And of course, it was Luca.

You hurry to him before anyone else can. But you hear your father stomping behind you. “Now is a really, really bad time.” You say as he hops off his horse.

“I have what you asked for.” He says giving Dutch a worried glance. Luca quickly slips the papers into your pocket and then pulls out a toy rabbit. “You said you had been looking for one like Nick’s, isn’t that right?” 

You smile in relief at Luca coming prepared with an alibi. “Uh… yes, of course.”

“Daughter, what’s he doing here?” 

“Oh, Pa, you remember Luca Bronte. His son has a toy that Bea was always fond of so he brought one for her.” You lie effortlessly.

“I hope I’m not intruding sir, I was in Annesburg for business and thought I’d drop it off on the way.

“Leave. And I better not see you here again.” Dutch says before giving you a dirty look and stomping back to his tent.

“He’s in a really bad mood.” 

“Are you and your family safe here?” You thought back to Micah and Milton threatening you earlier. 

“I have no choice at the moment…” You smile at him as he gets back on his horse. “We’ll have a playdate again soon.”

“You or Arthur let me know if you need a place to hide,” Luca whispers before riding off.

You turn around and Henry is standing close behind you. “Why did you tell him where the camp was?” 

You rolled your eyes and began walking to your tent, “I didn’t, I just said we are near Annesburg.” 

“Bullshit. You are single-handedly going to ruin this camp.” He spat towards you.

“Oh shut your mouth. Trying to act tough because you think Micah is your friend. You’re still the boy who didn’t know how to shoot a gun properly till we met these people.” You put the toy in Bea’s small bed before turning to look at Henry who was fuming. 

“You can’t speak to me that way.”

“Until you realize how dumb you are acting I will speak to you however I may please.” 

If it was possible. Steam would be coming out of his ears. “You need to learn your place-” 

You can tell the camp went silent as you smacked his cheek as hard as you could. “You are not the same brother I used to know.” You say in a low voice so the others couldn’t eavesdrop. “You’re more like Dutch than you are like Henry. I think it best we don’t talk for a while.” 

Henry rubbed his cheek and turned to walk away. You noticed that when Tilly ran up to check on him he swatted her away. She gave you a sad look before going to her tent with the other girls. 

You took a deep breath to compose yourself before heading down to the water where Arthur and Bea were. He smiled at you when he noticed you but it soon disappeared when he saw you quickly wipe your eyes.

“What did your father say to you?” He asked, getting angry. 

“It’s Henry. I’m used to Dutch but not used to how Henry is acting. He told Dutch about Luca Bronte and Dutch said stuff about Henry and I being his biggest supporters. Then Luca showed up to give me more papers he had found and Dutch saw him. Luckily he acted fast and acted as if he was giving me a toy for Bea.” You pulled the folded papers from your pocket and opened them. 

It was two properties, Beecher’s Hope down near Blackwater and an old apple orchard near Saint Denise and the Bayou. You had seen it from time to time but it always looked so well kept you didn’t know it was empty.

“Those the properties?” You nod to Arthur’s question.

“Land to make a ranch near Blackwater,” You eye Arthur who rolls his eyes to going near that town again. “And a place near Saint Denise, an old apple orchard. It’s a cute farm.”

“Well, we gotta think about it. Don’t very much feel safe going that close to Blackwater and I don’t want Bea near gators…” You smile at him before glancing at Bea who’s splashing in the water. You see a fisherman a bit a way down near the deeper part of the river who does not look happy about a toddler spooking all the fish.

“Charles asked me to help him with somethin’,” Arthur mumbles after a moment.

“Oh? Where you goin’?” 

“The natives at the Wapiti are having some issues. They asked if I can steal some papers for ‘em.”

“You are the best thief I know.” You tease. “I wanted to take Bea up to that big old waterfall.” 

“Uncle Arthur?” Jack says behind you both. You hadn’t even seen him walk up but you still smiled and acted as if he hadn’t surprised you. “Have You guys seen Cain and Bear?” 

You thought about it before realizing you hadn’t seen either dog. “Ah, I’m sure they are somewhere.” Arthur shrugs, “Maybe they are chasing squirrels.”

“I hope so.” Jack sighs.

“How about you play with Bea to take your mind off of it.” You suggest. Jack smiles and walks up to Bea who immediately splashes him. 

“Bear didn’t walk with you guys when you moved to this campsite?” You ask Arthur.

“Both dogs were here at first… I’m sure they are fine.” He looks up towards the sunset. “Are you takin’ Bea tomorrow?”

“Maybe. It’d be nice to give her a day away after… the events earlier.” Arthur nods in agreement. “Will you talk to John about the properties if you get a moment alone with him?” 

“I will.”

“You got my back, Arthur?” You ask him. He looks at you as if to see if this was a real question. But when he looks towards you all he sees is raw worry from how everything in the group was falling apart. He saw a pang of sadness in your eyes he had never seen before.

“Always, Y/N.”

_____________

You set off for the waterfall before Bea or the rest of the camp was even awake. Arthur had helped you wrap the sleeping toddler to your body before kissing you goodbye. You took your time riding through the forest. You always loved how it looked in the morning. Mist lightly covering the floor, animals running around. It was peaceful. 

“Change for the blind?” And old man asks, seemingly appearing from nowhere. 

“Oh, good morning sir.” You say to hide your shock.

“Help a blind man, Miss?” He asks again holding up an empty cup. 

“Of course,” You hop off Suzie carefully, to not wake Bea and put five dollars in his cup.

As you begin to turn he grabs your wrist with his bony hand. “Your family is seduced by the one with the forked tongue... it's no use hoping...” He says in a deadpan tone of voice.

“Oh… I’ll keep that in mind, have a good day sir.” You quickly climb back onto Suzie.

As you begin to trot off the man calls again, “Your daughter will follow the right star even if leaves her alone in the end.” You glance at him one more time wondering how he knew you had a daughter. “Please leave me now.” 

“Oh, sorry.” You mumble and ride off.

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Andy Sidaris” with a minor in “Girls, Guns & G-Strings”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the film that turns the death scene into a true work of art: Picasso Trigger!

Here at Supercult we venerate towering figures in cinematic stupidity called Supercult Saints. Some are actors like Nicholas Cage, Jeff Goldblum, Jean Claude van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Others are studios like Troma Films, Cannon Films, or Full Moon Entertainment. But my personal favorite are the creative geniuses who somehow manage to convince people to fork over their money to finance ludicrous Supercult projects like John Woo, Michael Bay, Tommy Wiseau, and the Golan-Globus team. But among the creative greats that are enshrined in the cathedrals of Supercult, there are none who knew the way to the American Man’s heart better than Andy Sidaris.

Killing is an Art Form, but so is the subtle art of being a strong independent babe.

This scene is full of important plot stuff.

Yeah, there’s like, a whole important story thing about…all of this.

Yeah, this is a really important…narrative moment.

This is a serious film for serious people interested in character development and, like, emotions and stuff.

“Didn’t I tell you Jade, I’ve got a black belt in shotgun.”

My boobs are down here! SEE!

“Give ’em a lei, blow ’em away.”

Some might wonder how they can hide in bright neon scuba gear. Those people have missed the point.

Born in Chicago in 1927 and growing up in Shreveport, Louisiana before attending college in Dallas, Andy was no stranger to wide world of sports. So much so that before becoming a film director he was a Television director for ABC’s Wide World of Sports for 25 years. Sidaris covered everything from football and basketball games to Olympic events and special programs, even earning an Emmy for his coverage of the 1968 Summer Olympics. However, his true legacy is in helping to develop techniques that are standard today such as instant replay, split screen views and what came to be known as the “honey shot”, close-ups of cheerleaders and pretty girls in stands during slow points at sporting events. In effect, Andy Sidaris standardized the combining two of the American Male’s favorite pastimes: sports and objectifying women.

Andy eventually grew bored in Television and expanded into film where he specialized in B-quality action flicks featuring buxom gun-toting girls and a veritable cornucopia of explosives. His studio, Malibu Bay Films, had a rotating stable of actors made up of Playboy Playmates and Penthouse Pets and cranked out more ludicrously awesome films in a single decade than lesser Supercult Saints like Neil Breen have made in their entire lives. His films, including Savage Beach, Malibu Express, and Supercult Classic Hard Ticket to Hawaii, would eventually come to be known as his Triple B series: Bullets, Bombs, and Babes, and the full 12 film Triple B series beginning with 1985’s Malibu Express and ending with 1998’s L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach should be required literature for any self-respecting Supercultist.

Picasso Trigger, the third film in the BBB-series released in 1988, is when Andy Sidaris hit his stride. Not only is it written and directed by Andy Sidaris, but he also cameos in his own film as the uncredited character “Whitey” Nearly a direct sequel to 1987’s Hard Ticket to Hawaii, the plot might as well be a sexier version of the James Bond film Skyfall. A crime lord begins systematically murdering intelligence agents after the death of his brother during the events of the previous film. Only a crack team of incredibly picturesque crime fighters, many of the members of which return to their original roles from Hard Ticket to Hawaii, has a chance of bringing him down.

Picasso Trigger has surprise banjo guns, helicopter rockets, nearly every form of transportation known to man including hover boats and big Casey Junior style choo choo trains, big block letters to let you know what day it is, and features just as many bizarre and hilarious murder weapons as previous installments of the series. I won’t spoil anything for you but let’s just say that if you can strap a bomb to it, someone will drive, fly, or throw it into someone. Oh yeah, and there’s quite a bit of nudity and love making to 80s synth wave. You know, the basic building blocks of any Andy Sidaris film.

Is it a sexist relic of a bygone era directed by a master of objectification, ostentation, and sexploitation? Well sure, that’s probably why it has a 33% on Rotten Tomatoes. But it’s also really, stupidly fun to watch and laugh at! And that’s really all that matters…to us at least.

Raise your glasses high to another great contribution by Supercult Saint Andy Sidaris, for though God gave us Girls, Guns, and G-Strings, it was Andy Sidaris that put them all in a 12-film boxed set sold on Amazon for ten bucks.

Supercult West is proud to present, Picasso Trigger!

Picasso Trigger Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Andy Sidaris” with a minor in “Girls, Guns & G-Strings”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the film that turns the death scene into a true work of art: Picasso Trigger!

[unik0rnu]

Page 9, The Right Rythm

-Slow down there Boss, we are just halfway through the evening. Gage snapped the beer from Lucy's hand and took a sip himself. They were sitting at the corner table in Cappy's Cafe while the pack was drinking themselves dead after getting the news about taking Safari park. Keith was almost running around them trying to keep up with delivering the drinks to the thirsty savages and not to slip on blood that he still didn't manage to clean after last fool that tried to push on alpha crap against Mason. Meanwhile Lauren was just happy to squeeze more caps and making sure no one is disturbing the business couple, having her shotgun ready under the bar.  

- Hey, cmon i deserve a break after dealing with that rampage zoo crocodiles... she rolled her eyes and sighted deeply. 

-Gators, Boss...they are gators. Not crocodiles, jezz. Have a bit of respect since they almost tore us apart. Gage shook a finger in her face and passed the bottle back.  -And, hey that is actually my beer, get your own booze woman. Gage protested but she turned away and gulped down everything that was left.

  -You mean that "was" your beer. Ye...sorry, i forgot my "purse" at home. She hiccupped and smiled with one corner of her lips. He scratched the back of his head and looked away trying to stay serious.

  It has been a completely crazy turn around in her life, from being lost and lonely, squeezed between what is right and not, almost giving up on herself. Now she is the leader to the people for which rules exist only to not kill each other and in the name of profit. Nisha was damn right about it at least. The rules..they stopped existing at the moment people started dropping bombs on each other officially.

 Lucy kissed goodbye her pre-war memories and moral backbone once again in Far Harbor, the night that Nucleus threw away its last radioactive breath in the air. She wasn't saint back then, before the bombs either, having a loving partner, living good, almost luxurious life while working with one of the most crooked figures in the crime society as personal assistant and agent. Once it was all gone within one explosion she missed mostly the warm and calm feeling, landing up in the bed, feeling safe with someone who she trusts and trusts her back. Now, passing each week in Nuka World it feels again like she has that warm spot again but this time it's better because no lies were included, to anyone, not even herself. Crime life was luring her from the very beginning to its bloody and thirsty claws but she wanted to be smart about it, not getting caught guaranteed that wheels and cogs kept moving forward into the direction they wanted, not the one they are told to pick. And justice was always served blindly and flat, rules were rules and no one cared about flipping the coin to the other side or treating each case in its own light. And she never dared to question her pre-war boss who trainer her and shaped into the sharpest tool he could ever have. 

 Lucy muttered under her nose being lost in her philosophical thoughts and past, staring at the raiders in the background but she snapped out when the cold wet glass touched her shoulder. 

-Lets have another round and then head back, taking another park doesn't mean that the job is done for us eh? She took a beer he handed her opening slightly her mouth to say something but nothing came out. 

-You okay, Boss? You seemed very interested into the void you've been staring at the last five minutes while i was trying to get us beer without punching anyone on the way. Raider sat back across the table and raised a bottle to give it a gentle hit with hers before taking a long sip. 

-Gage...what made you the person you are now? I would like to hear your part of the past since we seem to be stuck together a while now. 

-How i became a foul mouthed one eyed son of a bitch? He pushed his chair closer and crossed his both hands on the table. -Ye...well, fair enough but that will cost us yet another beer. 

Lucy managed to scrape few more caps from the pocket and pushed them towards him. - I'm all ears then.

- I grew up in a typical settlement like many out there, being an ordinary kid but i realized fast that my parents were just a couple of pushovers, cowards, same as the rest of dem folks...no one there would stand up for himself and as a kid i couldn't understand why. Was pretty much rebellious from the start, rules were not to my liking too much...so one day i see them kneeling down again because of some stupid fuck with a gun and i just realized i won't end up like them, not like this. Gage poped a cigarette from the pack and light it up while continuing his story on how he was also lost, looking for a place that would make his guts feel right while trying to get by day by day doing various jobs and assisting in caravans. 

-They always took what they wanted and were on their way, no talking, no deals, just pure will to do what you want, take what you want to survive. Those were the only rules that made sense and stick to my head back then so when i met a gang again i joined up and worked my way up, all the way here. The only reason i ain't dead yet tho is that i knew how to put a barrier between doing what ya want and losing control. He popped open a lighter and put a fire under a cigarette that Lucy gently placed between her lips. 

-What about you, Boss? We all know your famous story of being the living human ice cube but...what was before exactly, that gal like you wants to nest with a bunch of dirty bastards like us even after war, hm? He scanned her smooth face ignoring the scar across her eye as he saw enough of them in his life and smashed the cigarette in the ashtray. 

-Well, back then being the one against the rules would put you very fast out of the game, in jail or worse and i didn't want that to happen. Seeing the world out of system and its underground opened my eyes too. I thought that becoming a lawyer i would be de one serving the right justice but i realized my hands were always tied by someone above...the system so i...took the other path and did what i think was right. Secretly turned to a crime part of life, saw all of it. Fell deeper and deeper and became liking it, living it, maybe a bit too much at times. And now this world...? No laws, no jail, everyone with his own life and gun, it just feels...right, for me at least. I don't have to lie anymore to anyone.  She puffed a cloud of smoke into Gage's face and finished her beer. 

As the time passed half of the raiders were dead drunk lying down all over the cafe. Gage and Lucy decided its a good moment to leave so they stood up from the table and walked over the drunks while heading to the exit. 

They strolled back to Fizztop in silence, side by side, she knew her right hand man wasn't much of a talker so he had his well deserved break of silence, all the way to the top. It didn't last any longer tho. She turned on the radio and took her metal chest piece down, throwing it to the side. 

- I have a gift for you...but i will want something in return. She kneeled next to bed pulling something round and white from under it, hiding it in her arms as she approached him at the couch.  

-What kind of gift it is then that ya want something back for it eh? Gage was sitting on the couch like a true raider, with his arms crossed and legs spread awaiting for the reveal of surprise. 

-Well, we are raiders after all huh, nothin ain't free like that? Anyway...i noticed you seem to be fond of certain...creatures while they were trying to eat us alive and i stumbled upon this in the pool in the reptile house. Gage relaxed his arms slowly and stood up with a surprised look in his eyes as she reveled her gift. It was...shiny and round, barely damaged.

 -Boss...is it... a goddamnfucking  gator egg? I...ayee.. dunno wut to say, shit. Will it actually...you know, pop out at some point? He asked and took it gently with his both hands running the fingers across the smooth shell and then putting it carefully on the pillow at the couch. - It might actually. Would be a decent addition once Mason or you train it properly. She nodded at him, her arms crossed this time, tapping a finger against her upper arm awaiting to hear the magic words that for Gage felt almost like grinding a sand paper against his tongue. 

-Fuck...thank you, Boss. I will try not to break it i swear. There it was, finally. He smiled at her but this time it was a truly honest smile, the one that very few had occasion to see. 

-Now my part of the deal big guy, dance with me. Gage smile turned fast into a half opened mouthed expression. 

-Pardon...wut? Dance? Hell no. He shook his head and watched her snatching two shots of whiskey and coming back right at him. 

-Cmoooon, this will help to loose that tension both in your legs and your head, and we are alone. Cmoon Gage, just one dance, i wouldn't trust anyone else with it after all those years... Her words, the trust, felt honest and warm in his ears. 

-Shit...fine. But just that one time, Boss. I'm embarrassing myself here. He sighted and took down a shot in one gulp. They threw the empty shots away, the glass shattering into small pieces on the floor. He untied his rusty gold armor and threw it to the side letting it slide away. 

-Let me show ya, and no back stabbing okay? Lucy joked and gently took his right hand and placed it on her back while putting her left hand right under back of his shoulder. Then she raised her right hand and ordered him to do the same.

-Stabbing...with this kind of dancing they were almost asking for it. 

He tried not to look directly in her amber shiny eyes reflecting the night lights of Grillie's bar but it was proving difficult with so little free space left between them. As she started to guide him slowly after few stiff steps he finally gave in and relaxed. Did he felt embarrassed swinging around like that? Yeah. But deal is a deal and after so much effort and blood and bullets put together into taking the Nuka World he could let himself be embarrassed like that for a few minutes in exchange. Beside both of them could finally admit that they trust each other at this point, a bit at least.    

[jadesjunk]

Character Bio Example 1

This is an example of some bio writing work for my Red Dead Redemption Online character Eve.

Name: Eve (Last Name TBD)

Short for Evelyn but hates being called by her full name. Comes from her Irish ancestry and named after her deceased aunt. Comes from Aibhilín or Éibhleann, the latter can be derived from the Old Irish óiph ("beauty.")

Alternate nicknames include Evy/Evie which she went by as a child but doesn’t like to be called that anymore.

Also uses the aliases Eliza or Rose and after arriving Lemoyne she may use Rhode as a last name.

Age: 21

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Lesbian (Unaware)

Appearance

Height: 5’8”

Weight: 180lbs

Eye color: Green

Hair color: Red head/Ginger

Has always been on the skinny side but after running away her increased activity leaves her often more on the underweight side. She tries to maintain a healthy weight despite her higher metabolism.

Often wears her long red hair in a braid either down her back or over her shoulder.

Prefers wearing loose work shirts and pants with mens boots. In general prefers more masculine apparel but isn’t opposed to occasionally wearing a dress or skirt when in an appropriate situation. She does like mixing up her outfits and has a variety of feminine and masculine apparel, often enjoying wearing nice vests when she can afford them.

Her main outfit consists of a black cowboy hat, red work shirt with a sash around her midsection, basic black pants, black boots, red leather work gloves and a red and black poncho gifted to her by her friend Reyes. She wears a black gun belt covered in an assortment of useful items.

Personality Traits: Kind, Stubborn, Determined, Bit Naive, Quiet

Likes and Dislikes

Likes

Animals

Good food

Comfortable clothes

Being out in nature

Warm weather/summer

Gathering plants or animal samples

Harriet

Dislikes

Having to kill (humans or animals, does it out of necessity)

Poor meals

Being cooped up indoors

The cold/winter

Alligators

Men who assume she should be grateful to be hit on

Family (Living)

??? (Father)

Catherine (Mother)

??? (Eldest Brother)

??? (Middle Brother)

??? (Younger Brother)

Savannah (Previously Claire)

Friends

Wes

Reyes

Faye?

Harriet

Trelawny?

Nazar?

Skills/Work

Eve’s main skills revolve around her witchcraft and animal handling. She’s also an incredibly good cook thanks to her mother and those she’s traveled with. She picks up recipes from all over and has a knack for figuring out what’s missing in a dish just as much as she can sort out what she might need in a particular potion. She seems to have a natural connection with animals as well, able to quickly bond with any horse she rides and often can calm horses she doesn’t know relatively easily.

Eve’s witchcraft mostly revolves around making potions. She does like to make trinkets and talismans as well but she puts more faith in producing potions. She generally avoids rituals and sacrifice as it makes her uncomfortable and she doesn’t like the feeling of possibly calling on devils. Eve’s potions are generally more for improving one’s body such as numbing the body to pain or increasing stamina and improving your sight. She has carefully tested some potions with her horses, finding ways to vitalize them much like herself.

With firearms Eve’s main choice is rifles with short to medium scopes. She can use a pistol/revolver but most of the time prefers to use her rifle without the scope instead. When she isn’t pressured or panicking she’s a great shot but her accuracy greatly decreases the more she panics. She’s also pretty bad at riding or driving and shooting and usually prefers to ride shotgun on a wagon. Sometimes she can fire off several crack shots at enemies heads, killing each in a single shot but other times she panics so terribly she can’t even hit their bodies.

Thanks to Reyes she becomes pretty decent with a bow as well but usually only uses it in hunting for stealth kills. She’s okay with it from horse back but like her rifles is far better when still on a horse or on the ground.

Her skill hunting animals varies, oftentimes she tries to shoot from horseback either to kill with rifle or bow or attempts to tranquilize with her varmint rifle. Due to how erratic and at times small her targets are she has a far harder time making clean kills and sometimes even just hitting the body with the tranqs. She’s gotten incredibly good at tracking animals but unless she gets a solid shot standing still before it runs away (or attacks) she typically fails at getting a clean kill. Eve usually tries to avoid doing hunting, preferring to focus more on managing samples for Harriet. When she does hunt it’s usually more for cooking or if she needs ingredients/materials for other things. She will assist in hunts if needed for the gang but otherwise likes to put her skills to use elsewhere.

Backstory/Past

Eve was born to a relatively affluent family far north of New Hanover. (Traveling to Saint Denis is a several day trip south.) She has three brothers who were brought up to take over her father’s business. As their only daughter Eve was raised under relatively strict parenting. While her brothers were allowed to come and go more freely Eve was often stuck at home or only allowed to go out with her family. What little freedom she had came after she was 15 and she was finally allowed her to go on brief horse rides around their land alone.

Age 15-16: Eve stumbles upon an old leather journal belonging to her great grandmother. It was hidden away in the attic of their home in an old trunk with the last remaining heirlooms of her mother’s side. The pages were worn and frail from age and much of the scrawled handwriting was in gaelic. Eve struggled with translating as she wasn’t as fluent as her mother but she manages to translate most of it. The journal mostly contains accounts of her great grandmother’s life. Mixed in amongst the crumbling pages were recipes and notes on what Eve could only think of as potions, spells and rituals. Eve keeps the journal a secret from her family, carefully translating the contents over to a new journal of her own. Outside of working on the journal she also explores in the forest trying to identify plants. She accidentally poisons herself a few times but fortunately never too seriously and her mother doesn’t catch on.

Age 16-17: Eve discovers an old abandoned cabin deep into the woods beyond her family’s estate. Over the course of the summer she slowly begins cleaning the inside and converting it for her own use. She begins using her riding trips sneak away to the cabin and soon even does so at night. She gets caught coming home once by one of her brothers, thankfully the most understanding one who doesn’t ask questions and instead just helps her get the horse put away and back in bed without being noticed. 

Age 17-18: Potential suitors begin approaching Eve but many end up getting the message she’s not interested and eventually move on to other women. Her mother and father are frustrated by her lack of interest in men. Soon Eve unfortunately catches the eye of one particularly stubborn man who becomes incredibly enamored with her. She repeatedly turns him down and this frustrates him as he knows she would be well off and would make a beautiful wife. He begins to become obsessed with her, believing he deserves her. The suitor is used to getting his way, being a slick and charismatic businessman. 

Age 19: Eve is in her cabin when suddenly the door bursts open. She grabs for her shotgun (in case of predators) and aims it at the intruder. It turns out to be the suitor from town who refuses to leave her alone. After he mocks her and tries to tempt her into marrying him he causes her to panic and she shoots him in the abdomen. He falls flat on the floor of the cabin, blood spilling from the hole in his torso. Eve barely collects herself after retching onto the floor, covers the body in an old blanket and then buries it in the back. She changes clothes, takes her horse (Deseray, a blood bay arabian) and runs away. 

Her family never finds out about the murder, they do eventually suspect the suitor had done something but doubted she eloped with him after so many refusals. A widespread search commences but they never pick up any sign of her and eventually it’s called off. They mourn for her loss and pray that she’s alive and well out there somewhere.

After the murder Eve makes it a town or two over before stopping and gathering herself. Still horribly shaken she decides to head towards Saint Denis as a backup plan. If everything goes wrong she has family there and can contact her parents or brothers if it comes to it. At least she knows the area and how to get there. For a brief while she barely scrapes by in the wilderness before falling in with some Irish travellers on their way to Rhodes. She takes up work cooking and caring for their horses while traveling with them.

Eve learns how to better survive on the road thanks to them and is finally taught how to use a gun properly. By the time they part they gift her with a beautiful cob and point her in the direction of a man named Trelawny. The mysterious con artist gives her work to help her survive and helps her get setup at Rhodes stables with her two horses. Trelawny is the main person who teaches Eve how to talk her way out of issues or use her innocent appearance against others. While she’s still relatively naive and unfortunately a little too trusting he helps sharpen her senses and skills. 

At some point Eve runs into Harriet and picks up work sampling and studying local wildlife. She doesn’t really understand it at the time but while working for the animal enthusiast Eve begins developing a massive crush on her. (Mostly because she’s never been in love or crushing on someone.) Despite Harriet’s eccentricity the pair get along incredibly well (though most of it is Eve listening to Harriet wax on about animals and how horrible hunters are.) She ends up sharing her knowledge of natural remedies and concoctions, delighting Harriet and helping her with developing her sedatives, revivers and so on.

At some point Eve ends up running into Reyes at a saloon after both end up so drunk they start hitting on people of the same sex. (Eve at the time is still unaware that she’s lesbian.) They get thrown out together and Reyes invites her back to his camp to continue drinking. The pair have a good time, mostly downing more alcohol, singing, dancing and howling at the moon. Eve ends up messing up some of her clothes and Reyes gives her a spare poncho to wear. Eve makes a joke while drunk that since they match they’re the “Happy Ponchos” now. The two pass out before sunrise and in the morning she convinces him to let her tag along.

Reyes ends up teaching Eve how to hunt more efficiently and the best way to use as much of an animal carcass as possible. She continues to sticks around him like a lost puppy and learns more than ever before, becoming incredibly proficient in using a bow thanks to him. Eventually she even manages to craft a bow made of antlers from her best buck kill with his help. Through Reyes Eve also runs into her cousin Claire who has since left home and changed her name to Savannah.

[the-awkward-outlaw]

Second Chances - Ch. 31

May the Wind Be At Your Back 

Warnings: I guarantee you will cry (I sobbed writing this), swearing, blood, gore. 

Word count: ~10,700 (sorry it’s long!) 

Masterlist

Read on AO3

The next morning, you wake to an empty tent. You rub the tiredness from your eyes and get out, finding Arthur setting down the percolator to make coffee. He smiles and stands up when he sees you, folding you in his arms. He’s changed from his blue shirt to his black one with the red vest and green shotgun coat. He must know you love seeing him in it. The scent of leather and pine envelopes you. 

“Reckon we oughta make a quick breakfast and head out,” Arthur says, letting you go. You nod and join him by the fire, pulling out a can of peaches. He adds a small loaf of bread and some salted, dried beef to the mix. As you eat, you make easy talk. It feels more normal than you expected it to be, but that in itself is a comfort. 

Arthur douses the fire while you fold down the tent and pack it into Artemis’s saddlebag. She’s standing particularly close to Rannoch, has been since you made camp. Arthur walks over, smiling. 

“Think she missed him,” he says, rubbing Rannoch’s neck and feeding him a sugarcube. 

You pat her fondly. “Well, I’m sure he missed her too. When I was at Charlotte’s and he was loose in her pasture, he used to watch the trail as if waiting for her to show up. Was kind of sad, really.” 

Arthur smiles down at you and loops an arm behind you, bending down for a brief kiss. “Well, they won’t ever be parted again.” 

He lets you go and you mount up, heading slowly to Beaver Hollow. It’s clear Arthur doesn’t want to go back again either, not that you blame him. You can only imagine the rage he must feel towards Dutch for being abandoned. You’re angry about it too. If things have digressed to the point that Dutch no longer sees Arthur as someone worth having around after everything he’s done for the gang, then it’s hard to say how he will feel about you coming back. 

It’s midday by the time you and Arthur arrive. The camp is even more empty and quiet than before you left. The wagon that sheltered Mary-Beth and Karen is gone. As you and Arthur walk towards your shared tent, there seems to be fewer people. It appears that Mary-Beth, Karen, Uncle, and Charles are gone. You already know Charles left; Arthur explained how he stayed to help the Wapiti. You’re surprised about the others though. 

Your eyes drift over to Dutch’s tent, where he sits inside. Micah’s at the table, which isn’t unusual. He’s never far from Dutch anymore. However, two new figures sit beside the tent, looking out of place. One of them is rather thin and lanky, his face too long under his blond hair. When you see the other, your heart drops. You recognize the flabby, long face, the drooping jowls, the dull eyes hidden underneath moppy brown hair. He’s one of the men who attacked you. 

You latch onto Arthur’s arm, your eyes glued to the man, who hasn’t seen you so far. Arthur stops and looks down at you. 

“What is it?” 

“Him,” you whisper. “He-he gave me this.” Your hand reaches up to touch your face where the cut is. Arthur glares across the clearing at them.

“That son of a bitch, what’s he doin’ here?” Arthur growls. He’s about to stomp over to him when you grip his arm harder. 

“Don’t, Arthur. It’s not wise to kill him here. Let’s find out what he’s doing here in the first place.” 

Arthur raises his lip in disgust but agrees. He gently instructs you to stay in the tent, away from the man, while he goes and talks with Dutch. You sit on the cot and watch him leave, but when he’s far enough away, you get up and follow him, skirting along the sides of the mountain towards the cavern’s mouth where Dutch’s tent sits. Arthur throws the strangers a foul look and then stands at the opening of the tent. 

“Well at least you ain’t run off,” Dutch growls from inside. “Pearson left, old Uncle, the traitors. Both gone, took some of the girls with them. But I see you brought your girl back.” You hear the venom in his voice as he talks about you. “Micah brought in a couple of friends of his to help with some things. Anyways, Pearson and Uncle told young Tilly they were runnin’ to save themselves.” 

“So it goes,” Arthur says. 

“They are goddamn cowards, Arthur. Cowards. After all the time we spent, just to run off.” Dutch saunters out of the tent. 

“Well, I guess they don’t wanna die, Dutch.” 

“Ain’t nobody gonna…” Dutch grabs Arthur’s shoulder and guides him around the tent to where you’re standing. You quickly dart to the back of the tent that stares down into the mouth of the cave. The stench of decay floods your nose, choking you and an overwhelming feeling of being trapped envelops you. You force down the desire to run as you listen and peak around the tent. 

“This is a tough time,” Dutch continues. “But we, our community, we will survive. They will not crush us.” 

“I hope so,” Arthur pauses and looks out at the camp. “But if we let Jack and the women free then maybe we can-” 

Dutch cuts him off. “There ain’t no freedom for no one in this country no more, Arthur. One more big score, we got enough money to leave. All this turmoil has the army and the Pinkertons spinning. We take a boat and slip away.” 

“I don’t know what you’re saying, Dutch, but it sounds like I heard it all before.”

“Just one more train-” 

“Yeah, there’s always a goddamn train!” Arthur’s voice raises loudly. 

“Arthur! This is different.” Dutch puts his hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “We know this is full of cash. Army payroll. Money and supplies to repair the bridge that you blew. This is all going to plan. We rob Uncle Sam and we leave. What do you think?” 

“It sounds wonderful, Dutch. However, I think it should be just us. None of Micah’s friends. You know, Y/N said one of them fellers is the one who attacked her on the road a week back. She said he was told to try and kill her. Now I know what you think of her lately, Dutch, but that don’t change the fact that she’s gonna be my wife soon and I don’t want those men around.” 

Dutch gives him a hard look. “We need their help, Arthur. With how many folks have left, we need their gun power. Now as soon as we have the money from the train, I’ll send them off. Does that suit you?” 

Arthur sighs heavily. “I suppose. But if I end up putting a bullet in his head-” 

“That ain’t gonna happen. Perhaps Y/N is mistaken and he’s not the same man. Even if he is, he’d be a damn fool to touch her here. Like I said, they won’t be here much longer, so just keep your head.” 

“Fine, but…” Arthur gestures to the camp. “You know the women and the children, and John and his family, I’m afraid I have to insist. We gotta let ‘em go, because if the Pinkertons find us again, they will kill everyone.” 

“John? Insist?” Dutch says quietly. 

“Yes,” Arthur says resolutely. “Insist.” 

Dutch pauses and takes in a deep breath. When he speaks, his voice is higher than usual, giving you a sense of unease. Has Arthur stepped an invisible line? 

“Of course, pal. Whatever you think is best. I will see to it. Now, we gonna rob a train?” 

“Sure,” Arthur growls. 

Dutch pats him on the arm and starts walking away. Arthur follows him and you take the opportunity to slip out of the cavern and towards your own tent, sitting down on the cot as if you’ve been there all along. 

Dutch approaches the fire where most of the remaining gang have settled. “Alright everyone, we have work to do. We are gonna borrow a little money from Uncle Sam and be out of his hair once and for all.” 

Dutch walks over to the horses. The way his shoulders move and the speed of his step, you can tell he’s angry. Arthur beckons for you to come to him, so you do, avoiding the gaze of the strangers. Despite trying to not see him, you can’t help but keep an eye on him. The one who cut you and you lock eyes. You can tell he’s trying to act like he doesn’t recognize you, but his eyes give him away. He says nothing however as he and the other stranger mount onto their horses. 

“Let’s go, gentlemen!” Dutch hollers from the back of the Count, ignoring the fact that you and Sadie are among the group going along for the robbery. He leads the gang south, past Butcher’s Creek and towards Lemoyne

You wish Arthur was riding next to you, still feeling nervous about the strangers. He’s riding up near Dutch though, probably trying to ease him into complacency about letting you and the other women and Jack go. Sadie gallops beside you, her horse sweating as heavily as Rannoch in the humid heat. 

As you’re approaching the border of Lemoyne, Dutch calls out behind him that the train is due in Saint Denis in an hour. Arthur automatically questions the wisdom of robbing a train in the middle of the city. Dutch explains the gang won’t be robbing them there, just hopping aboard and hiding until it gets closer to the bridge Arthur and John destroyed. Micah adds in; he must have had a hand in planning this robbery. How could he not, with how close he’s kept himself to Dutch. 

Dutch orders John to grab the remaining dynamite left and Arthur volunteers to go with him. You almost go with him but realize that to do so would be a mistake. You’re sure you’re not back in Dutch’s good graces for leaving, not that you’ve been in them recently anyways. It’s clear he hasn’t liked your relationship with Arthur since he proposed to you, convinced you’ve been trying to take Arthur away from him. You watch John and Arthur ride off into a woodland as the gang continues south. 

As you’re riding along, you realize how much things have changed with how Dutch runs things. On previous jobs, Dutch never let any of the gang leave in groups of more than four, even if the whole gang was involved in the job. Now there’s only one group, being more conspicuous than ever. 

When the group reaches the train tracks just outside Saint Denis, Dutch stops in order to wait for Arthur and John. Only a few minutes pass before they regroup. Arthur glances at you and then takes his spot beside you, nodding to you in order to reassure you. You nod in return. After this is done, you and he will be abandoning the gang, heading off to begin your new lives. With any luck, things will go smoothly. Of course, you’re not too optimistic when it comes to luck, not with the way things have been going.

Dutch throws the cigar he’d been smoking while waiting and leads the gang into the farms lying on the outskirts of the city. 

“One last time, gentlemen!” he calls out. “I got us a riverboat, it’ll be waiting for us at Annesburg. We’ll head up to New York or Chicago and get a real boat from there out to the tropics. It will be paradise.”

“It’s all coming together, Dutch,” Micah simpers at him. “Just like we planned.” 

“I hope that’s okay with you John, and you Arthur. Or do you insist on something different?” He puts a particular emphasis on the word that makes you even more nervous. 

“Sounds about as good now as every time I heard it before,” John says. 

“Abigail must be real excited, all packed up the way she is,” Micah retorts. “I can just see her and Y/N and the other girls in little grass skirts.”

Dread fills your stomach. While today’s been your first day back in camp, you did notice Abigail had packed her things up. How long has Micah known about them leaving? Does he know about you and Arthur as well? And if he does, is he planning on stopping you, or worse? Questions begin running through your mind until John cuts them off. 

“Don’t talk to me, you son of a bitch.” 

“That’s enough, boys,” Dutch commands. “Let’s keep it down for now, don’t want to be attracting any attention.” 

“Any more attention, you mean,” you say before you get the chance to stop yourself. You haven’t been back in this shit-hole of a city since Hosea died, and you wouldn’t be surprised if your face, along with everyone who was involved, is plastered on a wanted poster in every corner of the city. You hate being back here, too much bad has happened. 

“Just take it nice and easy, fellers,” Dutch says, but his voice portrays that he’s irritated with your comment. 

“Ah, Saint Denis. Good to be back. Happy memories, huh John?” Micah says. 

“Will you shut up, Micah?” Arthur snaps. 

“Enough!” Dutch says. “Quiet, all of you.” 

The gang falls silent as you trot in single file down the main street of the city. This all feels wrong. There’s so many of you riding along like this, the first person who’s seen you must already be reporting your suspicious activities. You just pray that no one else dies. Well, maybe Micah or the strangers, but no one else. 

Dutch pulls to a stop at the trolley station just across the street from the railroad tracks. He hops off and addresses Sadie along with the blond stranger, who he calls Cleet. He instructs them to board half way along the train, and then he tells John, Arthur and you to board at the back. The rest will be riding along with him as they tail the train on horseback. The gang nods their heads and approach the tracks.

After a few seconds, the distant rumble and bell from the train echo, signaling its approach. You sniff a little and stand close to Arthur, glaring down the tracks. The train chugs down the track, going far too fast. The horn bellows and the train passes the group without stopping. Has the engineer been tipped off about a possible robbery in the city? Arthur looks as confused as you do as he looks down the passing cars. 

“Should I just sneak on now?” he asks Dutch in a gruff voice. 

“Goddammit,” Dutch says. “Everybody mount up. We’ll do this on horseback.” 

“We still going through with this?” John asks. 

“Of course we are.” 

The gang quickly get on their horses. You give Rannoch a reassuring pat before kicking him hard into a gallop, joining the others as they trail the train. It hasn’t slowed down at all, in fact it seems to have sped up even more now that it’s leaving the city. John calls back at you and Arthur, stating you can jump onto a flat car from the side. 

Just as the train’s passing the farms outside the city, you and Arthur ride alongside the last car, which happens to be a flatbed. You’ve never jumped onto a train like this, which makes you nervous. Despite your anxiety, you position your feet on the saddle and leap towards the car with as much strength as your legs can muster. Surprisingly, you feel your shoulder slam onto the flatbed. Arthur lands beside you with a heavy thud. He pulls you to your feet and slides the rifle from his shoulder. In your overthinking of how to jump onto the train, you’d forgotten to grab one of your own. Your pistol and sawed-off will have to do. 

Just as John’s slamming down on the flatbed, guards come out of the boxcar ahead and begin shooting. You and Arthur take cover behind some of the cargo, returning fire. The men go down quickly, allowing you and the other two to head up. The next car is another flatbed, and the one after is another boxcar. You watch as Sadie jumps onto the boxcar. Cleet, the blond stranger, leaps on and Sadie offers her arm to pull him up. More men are coming out of the boxcar and you fire at them, continuing to move up. John keeps hollering to push up. 

Just as you’re climbing up to the top of the boxcar after Arthur, you hear him yell, “This is crazy.” 

“You feel like ditching?” John responds.

“Of course not. We gotta get this done.” 

As you’re straightening up from climbing up the ladder, a man climbs up on the other end. He’s barely put his hands on the roof when a bullet slams into his forehead. Arthur reloads his rifle as you whip out your revolver again. You and Arthur hop onto the next car and then drop down to another flatbed, followed by John. 

“Where the hell is Dutch and Micah?” Arthur roars, shooting more guards. 

“I don’t see ‘em!” John answers. 

“Who knows, this might have been their goddamn plan all along,” you say as you shoot a guard on the roof of the next car. 

As you and Arthur run through the cars, a guard at the end pops out and fires quickly. You’d seen him before Arthur so you push him as hard as you can into the wall. The bullet glides above your arm, missing you and Arthur’s chest by inches. You raise your revolver and shoot the guard in the neck. 

Arthur hardly has any time to say anything before two more guards barrel in your direction, raising their rifles. As you and Arthur take them down; John calls up. 

“Just like the old days huh, Arthur?” 

“This ain’t nothin’ like the old days,” Arthur growls, heading up with you. 

There’s nearly half a dozen men ahead, so you pull out your sawed-off and fire, causing the head of one of the men to explode. You and Arthur push up, taking down more men with John’s help. 

One guard is left standing in the doorway of the next car. Arthur shoots him in the chest and he stumbles back. As he lands on the floor, he fires again but his bullet strikes a lantern hanging from the ceiling. Bits of burning glass and metal fall onto his body, the fire spreading quickly since the hot oil from the lantern splattered onto him and the floor. The fire spreads to some of the cargo and a crate suddenly explodes, making the car completely impassable. 

John runs to the side of the flatbed you’re all on and waves towards the back of the train. “Come on, we can’t get through!” 

Micah, Dutch and the mop-headed stranger gallop up to the side of the car. John hops behind Micah. Dutch yells at Arthur to jump onto his horse, but Arthur ignores him and leaps onto the stranger’s horse, allowing you to take Dutch’s mount. 

You’re nervous once again about jumping, but you kick off the car as hard as you can, landing on the Count’s narrow hind quarters. You fold your arms around Dutch’s waist as he gallops ahead, passing the burning car to the next flatbed. Sadie and Cleet are already waiting on it. You carefully position your legs and leap onto the flatbed. A heavy thud tells you Arthur’s landed. 

As Arthur gets up, he points to the burning car and yells to John. “Uncouple that carriage before it blows us all up!” 

John runs to where the cars are connected. You look down, trying to catch your breath and see in an open crate the components of a gatling gun. You call Arthur’s attention, but he’s staring out at a cliff the train’s passing. You follow his gaze and see a man standing on top of it. He looks behind him and hollers something, waving his arm. 

“Shit, I think that was a lookout,” Arthur says. “They must have known the train was gonna get hit.” 

“Come on, Arthur,” you say. “Let’s get this going.” 

You lift up the heavy tripod that holds the gun up and slam it onto the ground, spreading the three legs as Arthur grabs the barrel, the chamber and the pin. He puts the gun together quickly. 

“Get behind me,” he tells you, taking position behind the gun. Just as you stand behind him, John gets the burning car uncoupled. The three of you watch as the car slows down and then explodes after the cars behind it crash into it, causing whatever was inside to blow. 

After watching the cars derail, Bill hops onto the flatbed after Dutch tells him to go stop the train. As you turn to watch him, a guard on top of the boxcar ahead appears. He aims his gun and shoots, the bullet striking John in the shoulder. Before you or Arthur can do anything, he stumbles back and falls off the flatbed. 

“John!” Arthur screams. 

The guard shoots again, causing you all to flinch. You and the others aim at him, but it’s Arthur’s bullet that takes him down. 

Dutch, galloping alongside the train, calls to Arthur. “I’ll get John, you protect that money.” He and Micah fall back, turning down the tracks. 

“Man the gun, Arthur, I’ll go stop the train!” Bill calls.

“No! Whatever you do, do not stop the train!” Arthur yells back. “You secure up ahead, but keep us moving. I’ll deal with that patrol when they come through.” 

He finishes putting the gatling gun together and then turns to you. “Go with them, see if you can find that money.” 

You nod and approach Sadie when you hear the gatling gun begin firing. The patrol has arrived. You and the others take cover behind the cargo on the flatbed, firing at the horsemen. Your revolver does little at this distance, so you run over to Arthur and tug on his rifle, removing it from his back and hiding behind him as you reload it. 

“Take cover!” he yells at you. Quickly, you slide back behind the crate again, taking down two riders with the rifle. Of course, Arthur does a much more thorough job with his gun. 

“You sure you can handle that gun?” Cleet shoots at Arthur, “‘Cause I can take over if you want.” 

“Just shut up and kill these bastards,” you snap. 

“Hey, we all gotta work together on this.” 

“And that’s what we’re doing, now just shut the hell up and shoot!” 

Arthur continues firing at the riders, but they just seem to keep coming. 

“How the hell I get saddled up with you two girls?” Cleet snarls. 

“Watch your goddamn mouth!” Sadie says. 

The next several moments are filled with you and the others shooting the patrol, Arthur taking down the majority. It seems like every moment or two, Cleet says something to antagonize you or Sadie. It takes all your willpower to not point your rifle at him and you tell him so.

“I ain’t afraid of you, woman.”

“You should be!” Arthur hollers over the gunfire. “She’s already got your friend tagged for murder. Hope you ain’t close to him.” 

Cleet says something that’s drowned out by the engine’s horn as it approaches a short tunnel. Your car is temporarily covered in cool, damp darkness before bursting back out into the hot sunlight. The few riders remaining suddenly scamper off, probably figuring it’s a lost cause at this point. 

“Get off the gun, we need to go for the money,” Cleet says. You and the others follow him over two more boxcars and then another flatbed. The last car before the engine is another box but Cleet says it should have the money inside it. Arthur runs up to it and slides a stick of dynamite in the door handle. He lights it and you all take cover behind some crates and barrels. The metal door is blown free with a loud shriek of wrenching metal. Just as the smoke clears, the train enters a long and dark tunnel. Arthur pulls out his lantern as he runs up to the doorway. 

The train exits the tunnel just as Arthur comes out, snuffing his lantern. “We got somethin’!” He goes back inside and then exits again, tossing a large burlap sack to Cleet. He throws another at Sadie and one more at you. The heavy weight of coins and stacks of bills inside the sack pounds against your chest as you catch it. 

Just as you’re setting down the sack to catch another, Bill climbs down from the car. 

“Morgan! The driver’s dead, we gotta get off this train, it ain’t stoppin’!” 

“Let’s go, then!” Sadie says, grabbing her sack and throwing it over the side of the train and leaping off. Cleet and Bill do the same. Arthur comes out of the carriage, hauling another large bag. Slightly breathless, he gestures for you to jump. You heave the sack onto your shoulder and toss it onto the grass, painfully aware of the quickly approaching chasm with the broken bridge. You breathe out and jump, your feet landing painfully on the grass and your knees buckling, slamming you down. Arthur grunts loudly as he lands.

You and the others get up and watch as the train barrels down the tracks, falling down the broken bridge and crashing into the canyon below. The engine breaks apart, crushed under the weight of the cars and then the canyon finally falls silent. 

“Jesus,” Bill says quietly. Arthur agrees and tells you and the others to move. You go back to where you’d dropped your sack, heaving it onto your shoulder just as Dutch, Micah and the stranger trot up, followed by everyone else’s horses. The trotting is oddly quiet after having heard the loud chugging of the train and the screeching of shredding metal. However, as you and the others walk up to Dutch, John is nowhere in sight. 

“Where’s John?” Arthur asks. 

“I tried,” Dutch says heavily. “I tried.” 

“He didn’t make it. That patrol killed him. We had to run.” Micah says. Something about the way he says this feels off to you.

Arthur puts down his sack and looks down, his face hard. You can feel his grief rolling off of him, but when he looks up, he almost seems disbelieving. 

“Come on,” Dutch orders. “Let’s go, before another patrol turns up.” 

You take Arthur’s free hand in yours after he lifts up his sack again. He only responds with a gentle squeeze. The two of you throw your sacks over your horses. He sighs heavily as he mounts up on Artemis. You understand why. The two of you only came back in order to save John and his family, and now he’s dead. You just hope Abigail has enough sense to leave with her son for good. 

Arthur kicks Artemis into a gallop, Rannoch rushing to keep up, as the gang begins heading back to Beaver Hollow. You’re glad that you and Arthur are only returning to pack your belongings and then, when things are quiet, you’ll disappear with Arthur, taking one of the sacks of money you’ve just stolen.

The gang rolls pass O’Creagh’s Run. You glance to Hamish’s cabin, spotting Buell standing in the small paddock beside it. He lifts his head from grazing as your horses thunder by. 

As the gang approaches the hills marking that you’re close to Beaver Hollow, a horse comes over the rise and a shrill voice calls out. 

“They came and took Abigail!” 

Dutch stops his horse at the head of the group as Tilly rides over with Jack in front of her. 

“We hid, but they took her!”  

“Who did?” Arthur demands, walking his horse to stand next to the Count. 

“Agent Milton and his men took her to Van Horn to be put on a boat and tried for murder.” 

“I am sorry to hear that,” Dutch says with no warmth in his voice.

“We gotta let her go,” Micah says. “John’s um, well sorry son.” He looks pointedly at Jack with a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Without John, she’s just bait. Got a bunch of money, Dutch, she’s just a girl. They won’t do nothing to her, but me, Cleet and Joe know we need to keep riding on this one, Dutch.” 

Cleet and the other stranger Joe nod behind Micah. 

“So we just gonna let this boy be made an orphan?” Arthur says. 

“It ain’t like that!” Dutch shoots, waving his arm at Arthur. 

“What is it like?” 

“I wanna live, cowpoke!” Micah sneers. “Dutch, it’s just a girl.” 

Dutch pauses and then nods. “You’re right.”

“Dutch!” Arthur yells, dismounting and standing near Dutch’s leg. His eyes beg him to see reason. 

“It pains me to say it, Arthur, but Micah is right.” 

“Dutch!”

“Now come on boys,” Dutch says, taking a tighter hold of his horse’s reins. He kicks the Count into a gallop and Arthur is forced to take a quick step back to avoid being trampled. He glares at Dutch’s shrinking form as everyone except for you and Sadie follow him. 

“Well I guess that’s that then,” Arthur growls. He looks over at Tilly, who looks confused and scared. “All them goddamn years.” 

“Come on, Arthur,” Sadie says heavily. “Let’s go get her. Us three is all we need.” 

He nods and glances at you before addressing Tilly. He heaves the sack of money from Artemis and throws it over Tilly’s horse. 

“Take this,” he says heavily. “Take Jack and wait at Copperhead Landing for Abigail and Mrs. Adler.”

“Thank you, Arthur,” she says a bit breathlessly. 

“You’re a good girl,” he says. “You live a good life now you hear?” 

“And you too, Arthur. I’ll miss…” 

“Me too, sweetheart. Me too.” His eyes flick down momentarily. You feel like crying as he smiles at her and then turns to Jack. “Be brave, son, I’m gonna go get your mama.” He takes Jack’s hands in his and looks him hard in the eyes as he says this. Finally, he lets them go and turns to you and Sadie. “Mrs. Adler, Ms. Y/L/N, ride with me.” 

He kicks Artemis into a run and you and Sadie follow. You glance behind and raise a hand in farewell to Tilly, painfully aware that you’ll probably never see her again. Your heart grows heavy at the thought of how much your family has fallen apart. You swallow tears at the thought that you didn’t even have a chance to say good-bye to Mary-Beth, Pearson or even old Uncle, useless as he was. 

As you and the other two ride, Sadie and Arthur discuss the best way to get into Van Horn since it’s been overrun by Pinkertons. It’s decided you’ll go in on the south end near the lighthouse. 

“Those goddamn bastards,” Arthur growls. “Now he don’t care if he orphans his friend’s child so long as he gets rich? All his goddamn talk all them years. Seems like it was always a lie, or he went crazy. Goddamn this mess.” 

“Sure,” you say. “Guess he began to believe he was God or something.”

“The Dutch we know now is not the Dutch who put a blanket on my shoulders in the snow all them weeks ago,” Sadie adds. 

Arthur sighs. “I’m sorry you both got dragged into this, into us.” 

“Listen, if you hadn’t shown up at my house that night, I’d be dead.”

“As would I, Arthur. I don’t think I would have lasted much longer if you hadn’t found me when you did. Even this bullshit beats dead.” 

“I thought I could find a way to get John, Abigail and Jack out of this mess,” Arthur says. “To try and give them a life. Seems like I left it too late.”

“Let’s just get Abigail, they could still have a chance,” you say. 

Arthur sighs again. “John, Hosea, Mac, Davey, Jenny, Sean, Lenny. We have to put an end to this! And Eagle Flies. Another angry fool he used, just like he did with the rest of us. No one else is dying for Dutch’s crazy dreams. ” 

“Like I said, Arthur,” Sadie growls. “We don’t need them. We’re gonna make this right.” 

The three of you run on to Van Horn. Once the lighthouse comes into view, you dismount and send the horses off. Sadie asks Arthur to take point in the lighthouse with his scoped rifle and keep watch while you and she run up to the boathouse where Abigail’s likely to be held. He clearly doesn’t like you two doing the most dangerous part of the job, but he agrees when you tell him he’s the better shot and that  you and Sadie are the faster runners.

As he runs over to the lighthouse, you and Sadie take cover behind a broken wagon. You look over the edge, counting at least a dozen Pinkertons standing at different spots on the street. The way they’re glancing at each other and the points of the road, it seems Micah was right about one thing: they’re holding Abigail as bait. 

You check your rifle quickly and then the Pinkerton standing closest to you and Sadie is suddenly thrown back, blood gushing from his head. The Pinkerton standing closest to him yells out, pointing his gun in your direction. You raise your rifle and shoot him. 

“Come on!” Sadie yells, moving forward as more Pinkertons fall from Arthur’s shots. You skirt around a crumbling brick building close to the river since it is harder for the Pinkertons to shoot you from this spot. You and Sadie continue shooting at them, moving up considerably fast, thanks to Arthur’s keen aim. 

Within moments, you’re running up the deck towards the boathouse. Sadie slams the butt of her rifle into a Pinkerton’s face and then goes to the door. You’re suddenly slammed into the ground by a heavy weight and realize a Pinkerton must have been hiding and grabbed you when you passed him. He’s suddenly wrenched off you as Arthur’s bullet rips through him. You stand up and find Sadie gone. She must already be in the boathouse, so you run inside it. 

As soon as you step in, you know something’s wrong. Abigail’s tied to a chair, her mouth covered by a thick bandana. A Pinkerton is tying Sadie up and your vision suddenly flashes white as something hard slams into your head. You fall back and the breath is knocked from your lungs as you land. You blink and your vision clears, showing Milton standing above you. 

“Ah, Ms. Y/L/N, I had a feeling I’d be running into you. By the way, I failed to send my congratulations for your wedding announcement.” 

You’re about to ask him how the hell he knows about that when you’re rolled roughly onto your stomach and tied up and gagged by another Pinkerton. He picks you up and throws you into the corner of the room near Sadie. She looks at you, but there’s no fear in her eyes. You doubt you can say the same about yourself. 

Milton walks around the room slowly. “Alright, men, now we wait. I doubt these two ladies were alone, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the men comes charging in, guns blazing. Prepare yourselves.” 

He slides into a storeroom behind the counter, which blocks your view of him.

Gunfire suddenly echoes from outside. Arthur must know you and Sadie are in trouble and is advancing. You wish you could yell for him to run the other direction. You and Sadie can find another way easy enough to save yourselves and Abigail. Of course, you know better than anyone that’s the last thing Arthur would do. 

The door slams open, revealing Arthur, bathed in sunlight. He pulls the hammer of his pistol, which he’s already unholstered, and shoots the two Pinkertons waiting by Abigail. They fall heavily and Arthur marches in, pulling out his knife to free Abigail. 

“Okay, ladies,” he says as he removes Abigail’s gag and begins cutting the bonds around her right wrist. “Let’s get out of here.” 

You try yelling through your gag, but the click of a hammer comes from behind Arthur. He stops and straightens up. 

“Calm down, Mr. Morgan,” Milton says. 

Arthur clenches his jaw and lifts his hands, turning to face Milton. 

“Game’s over, Mr. Morgan. I was honestly hoping you’d be the one to come to the rescue. I had a feeling Dutch wouldn’t fall for the trap, he isn’t that foolish. But I’ve heard about your… habit of swooping in to the rescue.” 

“Then I guess I’ll be dead soon, and you with me, Mr. Milton.” 

“Oh you’ll be dead, but I’m gonna be just fine. We offered you a deal, Mr. Morgan, you should have taken it.” 

“I’m a fool, Mr. Milton, like you said.”

“Sure, but not all you boys have quite so many scruples. Old Micah Bell-”

“Micah?” Arthur cuts him off. “You mean Molly.” 

“Molly O’Shea? We sweated her a couple of times, never spoke a word so we had to let her go. But Micah Bell, we picked him up quite some time ago. Just before Dutch’s famous failed attempt to rob the Blackwater ferry. I’m sure you’ll be surprised to hear he wasn’t completely compliant until you and the others came back from the Caribbean. He was particularly stubborn about the bank job in Saint Denis, but he’s been a good boy ever since we picked him up from the boat.”

You can hear Arthur breathing harder. Micah Bell, the goddamn rat. Now you understand why he started spouting that there must be one when the gang moved up to Beaver Hollow, he was trying to point the focus from his own ass. Worse, he’s been playing the gang for fools the entire time. He’s responsible for Jenny and the Callendar boys and Hosea and Lenny’s deaths. Rage burns in your chest and you strain against your binds. 

Arthur bends down as though personally struck by this news. “Okay,” he says. Suddenly he launches himself at Milton, grappling for the gun in his hands. The two men struggle for a moment, but Arthur has a poor grip on the gun and Milton begins overpowering him. You scream his name through the gag as the barrel lines up with his head. The sound of a gun fires, making your heart stop and a body thuds. You crane your neck, trying to see who’s left standing. 

Abigail lowers the gun she’d taken from one of the dead Pinkertons. You hadn’t even noticed her freeing herself. Arthur must have cut the ropes enough so she could do so. She raises a lip and throws the revolver at the body. “Horrible man.” She picks up Arthur’s knife and cuts you and Sadie free, then approaches the wall. 

“Now come on, all of you.” Arthur’s hand reaches up and takes the knife before he stands up as you untie your feet. You stand up and clutch him, pulling him close. 

“God, Arthur, I thought he got you.” 

His breathing is heavy but he pats your back. “I know, darlin’, I know. But come on, we got work to do.” 

He pulls himself free from your grip and the four of you run out of the boathouse. As you’re running down the deck with the others, shots ring out. You look to the path and find a patrol of Pinkertons running up on horseback. One aims at you and shoots, ripping the hat from your head. You flinch and aim, but he’s already falling from Arthur’s bullet. 

Sadie whistles loudly and the horses come running down the path as you and the others continue trading gunfire. You notice the sack of money you put on Rannoch’s back is gone. It probably fell off at some point, but you can’t worry about that now. 

“Where’s Jack?” Abigail yells as she runs towards the horses. 

“Tilly’s got him, he’s safe,” you respond, shooting again. She breathes a sigh of relief as Arthur tells her to hop onto his horse. Sadie mounts up and Arthur climbs up behind you on Rannoch. You kick Rannoch into a gallop, following Sadie and Abigail out  of Van Horn, pursued by the Pinkerton’s. They seem to come out at you at every turn in the trail, but Arthur’s more than a match for them. 

The group gallops up towards Annesburg, but the path gets blocked by a troop of Pinkertons. They even flank you from the train tracks, forcing you to take the trail heading west. You run along with Sadie and Abigail for several moments, Arthur gripping your waist almost painfully as he shoots. You shoot as much as you can as well, but the fighting is hotter than you’ve ever experienced and you have to carefully guide Rannoch down the twisting trail. Finally, as the road heads in the direction of the river, the Pinkertons finally seem to stop appearing. 

Abigail speaks up from the front of the group. “Bastards grabbed me outside camp. I was with Tilly and Jack, it happened so fast I couldn’t do anything.”

“It’s alright, Jack and Tilly are fine.” 

Arthur suddenly squeezes your waist. “Ladies, we need to stop. Stop!” 

Abigail and Sadie do so, looking back at him. You pull Rannoch to a halt and Arthur lets go of you. 

“What is it?” you ask. 

He dismounts as Sadie says, “Arthur, there’s no time.” 

He puts a hand up to her. He takes off his hat and then goes to Abigail, puts his hat in his saddle bag and then lifts his arms to signal he wants to bring her down. 

She looks at him almost as though worried. “What happened to John? Where’s John?”

“I don’t… I think…” Arthur stumbles. He gestures to her again and she humors him, sliding off Artemis’s back and letting him catch her. 

“Arthur?” she says.

“He, um, he got killed or he got captured.” 

“No!” Abigail cries out.��

“I’m really sorry, Abigail,” Arthur says as Sadie dismounts and hugs her as she begins to cry. “I was on the train and I didn’t see it.”

He pauses as Abigail continues to cry. You dismount and walk to his side.

“Listen,” he says, “we got Jack, he’s safe. Mrs. Adler will take you to him, but John… I want you to know this: he loved you. He loved you and Jack, he did.” 

She looks away as she sobs as though torn between wanting to believe it and not being able to.  

“He wasn’t perfect, but he did. Now you gotta go get that boy.”

She looks at him and her head twitches in a slight nod. Arthur looks to Sadie and puts a hand on her shoulder. “Now go on, get outta here.”

“Arthur, what are you doing?” Sadie says as she climbs onto her horse. 

“I gotta go have a little chat with Dutch, try one last time to turn his head to reason.”

He walks over to Abigail to pick her up, but as she’s still distraught over John, she cries out, “Oh Arthur!” 

“Don’t you ‘oh Arthur’ me. I’ll be fine.” He picks her up and places her on the horse behind Sadie. “Y/N will go with you and take you to Jack-”

“No I’m not,” you say, staring hard at him. “I’m not letting you go back there alone to get shot by Micah, not when you’re going to point out how much of a rat bastard he is. He ain’t gonna like it.” 

“Y/N-”

“Don’t, Arthur! You asked me to be your wife and I agreed, that means that where you go, I go, remember? And I just got you back, I’m not going to lose you again. Not like this.” 

“Dutch won’t kill me-”

“He already left you to die, Arthur! I’m not banking on that chance. Now I’m going with you, whether you like it or not. We’re in this together and we’ll get out together or we’ll die together.” 

He stops and looks at you, his mouth pulled down in a frown. “Okay,” he finally says. He looks back up at Sadie and Abigail. “You’re good women, good people. The best. You go get that boy. They’ll be time for good-byes later.” 

He starts to turn away when Abigail speaks up. “Since you’re headed back there, Arthur, take this.” She breaks a chain necklace she’d been wearing and removes the key hanging from it. “I don’t need it anymore. There’s a chest in them caves. Dutch’s chest. With all our money.” She tells him where to find it in the cavern at Beaver Hollow and then pauses as a fresh wave of tears comes.

“Why, Abigail Roberts,” he takes the key from her as she starts to cry. For some reason, the emotions hit you and you have to wipe your cheek.

“I always been a good thief.”  

“That you was. Now go on, get outta here.” He pockets the key and then turns to you. As Sadie rides off, he helps you onto Rannoch and then he climbs onto Artemis. He pauses a moment, almost as though the weight of everything has finally hit him. He pulls his hat out of his saddlebag and puts it on, his face set. He glances at you and then kicks Artemis into a run. 

Rannoch follows obediently, but you say nothing. The heaviness of what’s about to happen rushes through you and it feels like everything you’ve done comes to you. You remember your parents, the things they said, your grandmother, watching Rain being born and then dying. The day you found out your grandmother passed. 

Just as you’re passing Butcher’s Creek, you remember finding out your father paid James to marry you, the cruelties he put you through. Murdering him and then your parents. The loneliness of the year you spent alone. Arthur finally finding you and how you created a family with the gang, only to watch it fall apart. You wonder what it all means and if it could have been stopped. 

Artemis runs down the path heading to Beaver Hollow. Arthur hasn’t said anything the entire ride, but you feel he’s in the same mindframe as you, wondering if it could have been different, what everything he’s done really comes down to. 

Rannoch slows to a trot and you see the few remaining gang members milling about, packing up as quickly as they can. Cleet and Joe are still here, unlike what Dutch said, not that you’re surprised. 

As you and Arthur dismount, you hear Micah bark across the clearing. “Get them bags packed up quick, Miss Grimshaw. Hurry up, we ain’t got long!” 

“We’re doing our best!” Grimshaw snaps. 

“We got plenty of time, Micah,” Arthur growls, walking slowly into the clearing. Micah looks at him, almost as though surprised to see him. You follow, glaring at him, your hand on the butt of your revolver in its holster. “We all need to have a little chat.” 

 “Cowpoke, you’re back. Hooray.”

Arthur ignores this and glares at Dutch, who’s doing his duty by standing in his tent. “I just saw Agent Milton, Dutch. Abigail shot him. She’s okay, not that you care. You rats.” He glowers at Micah and his friends. “Seems old Micah was pretty close with Milton.”

“What the hell you talking about?” Micah demands. 

“You talked. Been talkin’ to Milton for some time.” 

“That’s a goddamn lie.”

“Milton told me.” 

“And you believe him, cowpoke?”

Arthur narrows his eyes and shakes his head. “It all makes sense now.” 

“No, it damn well doesn’t,” Micah hisses. 

Suddenly he and Arthur whip out their pistols and point them at each other. Cleet and Joe point theirs at Arthur and you point yours at Joe. Dutch doesn’t move from his tent, just stares between the two groups.   

“Dutch, think, just think!” Arthur says without taking his eyes from Micah. 

“Dutch,” Micah simpers, “be practical now.”

Your finger traces the hammer just as another voice calls out Dutch’s name. The group looks and down the path walks John, clutching his shoulder and limping along. 

“You left me. You left me to die!” he screams. 

“My boy,” Dutch says, finally taking a few steps away from his tent. “I didn’t have a choice. John, I didn’t have a-” 

“You left me!”

Dutch glares at him. You wonder now how genuine Dutch was being when he said he tried to help John. You’ve no doubt that he abandoned him just as he did with Arthur. 

“All of you,” Arthur demands. “You pick your side now, because this is over.” He glances at Dutch and shakes his head as John stands beside him and pulls out his gun. “All them years, Dutch, all the things we sacrificed. For this snake?”

“Be quiet, cowpoke.” 

“No!” Grimshaw says, walking up to your side, holding a shotgun. She cocks it. “You be quiet, Mr. Bell. Put down your gun.” 

Javier rushes in suddenly, calling out, “There’s Pinkertons coming fast.” 

Grimshaw looks to him, distracted and Micah takes his chance, shooting her. His bullet strikes her in the stomach and she cries out.

“Susan!” you say, dropping to her side as she cries out again. You look up again, pointing your revolver at Micah, your other hand on Susan’s shoulder. 

“Now!” Dutch yells out, whipping out both pistols and pointing them both at Micah and Arthur. “Who amongst you is with me and who is betraying me?” 

He walks between yours and Micah’s group. Bill now also points his gun at Arthur while Javier, looking confused, points his pistol up in the air. John and Arthur back up towards the cavern. You stand up slowly, realizing Grimshaw’s dead. You can’t think about that now as you back up to Arthur’s side, still pointing your revolver. 

“Bill, Javier, think!” Arthur pleads. “Think for yourselves.”

“He’s lying,” Micah says. “He’s lying!”  

Just as it seems like Dutch is about to pull the trigger, a voice echoes down the pathway. “Put your guns down!” Shots ring out suddenly as men dart between the trees.

“Goddamn it, move!” Arthur shouts, grabbing you roughly and shoving you behind a table. He tips it to act as a barricade as John takes cover behind Dutch’s tent. 

“This is Agent Ross with the Pinkerton Detective Agency. Put your guns down!” 

“Everyone get into cover!” Dutch hollers. He and the others disappear from your view as you, Arthur and John open fire upon the Pinkertons. The fading light makes it more difficult, but you keep shooting. More and more Pinkertons seem to arrive. 

“Dutch, we gotta move!” Micah yells. “There all yours, Morgan!” 

“Come on, we need to get out of here!” John screams at you both. Without hesitating, you and Arthur follow him into the cavern. You ignore the pungent stench of decay and the sight of the cage you’d been kept in when you were a captive here. Arthur runs behind you, shooting the few Pinkertons who run into the cave. 

As you and the others run deeper, Ross’s voice echoes through the cavern. “Mr. Morgan, Mr. Marston, Ms. Y/L/N, stop! You’re trapped. Surrender and we will take you alive.” 

You and the others ignore him, heading to the back of the cave. You see the wagon where Abigail said Dutch’s chest is hidden under. You’re tempted to stop and grab it, but a shot rings through, the bullet whizzing past your elbow. 

“Come on!” John says, climbing up a ladder to a ledge. “Those bastards left me for dead.” 

“Seems that’s what they do now.” Arthur says as he pushes you to the ladder. You climb up as quickly as you can and you run down a ledge after John, climbing up another ladder and over a bundle of rickety boards to another ladder. There’s light flooding in from the top of it, signalling you’re almost out as you hear the Pinkertons hollering from down below.

“Stay with me, Arthur!” you yell.

“I’m here,” he replies. “Micah was the rat, John. Milton told me.” 

John reaches the last ladder. “We should have killed him months ago.”

You reach the top of the ladder as you hear Ross snarl from the ground below, stating he doesn’t care if you all end up dead. Arthur climbs up and then leads you and John down the slope of the hillside. He whistles for Artemis and the other horses, and then looks to John, panting hard. 

“Abigail, she’s safe. So’s Jack. They’re with Sadie at Copperhead landing.”

John grabs Arthur’s hand. “Thank you, brother.” He looks over at you. “Thank you. Both of you.” 

Just as he begins to let go of Arthur’s hand to run to the horses, Arthur stops him. 

“I want you to not look back on any of this, okay?” 

“You’re co-” John’s suddenly cut off by another round of shots in your direction. Glancing briefly, you see Micah leading the charge, his pistols aiming at you. You and the others run and mount up, kicking them into a gallop as Dutch sends a bullet your way. 

“After all these years, boys!” Dutch calls. “I took you in! Y/N, you’d be dead without me!” 

“Arthur saved me!” you call back. He replies by shooting again, but the bullet slams into a tree trunk. 

“Pinkertons!” John cries out. Ahead, more men on horseback come down towards you. Arthur and John open fire and the path is clear again. 

You weave down the trails as the darkness deepens, making it even harder to spot your quarries. Micah and Dutch still follow, continuing to holler up, but their taunts go ignored. Pinkertons keep coming from every turn in the trail again, guiding where you and the others go. The horses climb out of Roanoke Valley into the Grizzlies East, grunting and sweating as they’re kicked to go faster. 

The path ahead gets blocked again by a wall of horses and Pinkertons, forcing the three of you off the trail and up the foot of a small mountain. Just as you leave the cover of the trees, Rannoch grunts and he takes an odd step. Before you even have the chance to wonder what’s wrong with him, he collapses just as Artemis rears up and falls. John’s horse suddenly crashes to the ground. 

When Rannoch lands, he pins your knee between the saddle and the ground. Your shoulders slam down, knocking the wind out of you. Because of the continuing gunfire, you quickly sit up and shoot the arriving Pinkertons. They go down and the gunfire pauses, but you know it’s temporary. 

You try pulling your leg out from under Rannoch, but it’s pinned and he’s not moving. You pat his neck as hard as you can, crying out his name. Not another horse, you think, not another one. But no matter how hard you smack him or how loud you cry his name, he doesn’t move. 

As the realization that Rannoch is dead hits you, your eyes find Arthur. He’s dropping to his knees beside Artemis’s head. She’s grunting and struggling to breath, her legs twitching. He pats her neck gently, trying to calm her. 

“Come on, Arthur!” John says, rushing over to you to try and help pull you free. “Brother, let’s go!” 

“Gimme a minute,” Arthur says. He pats Artemis’s neck again and she nickers softly. He bends low and says in her ear, “Thank you.” 

“Arthur!” John calls again. “Help me get her!” 

Arthur finally looks up at you. Even from where you’re sitting, you can see the tears in his eyes. He gets up and runs over to you and John, lifting Rannoch’s body up as John grabs your shoulders and pulls you out. When you’re free, you start to stand up, but struggle due to the pain in your knee. Arthur takes your arm and drapes it across his shoulders, then wraps an arm around your waist. 

“Come on, let’s go,” John says. 

“What-what about the money?” you ask. Without the money you stole from the train, you and Arthur will struggle to start a  new life. In order to escape, you have to have money. 

Arthur nods a little. “Abigail gave me the key to Dutch’s chest.” 

“I head down there, I’m a dead man, no question,” John says. “I got a family. I care about them more.” 

“Ah, maybe you’re right but…”

“You want the money? Go get it, but I’m going to my family.” 

Arthur looks at you. By his eyes, you can tell he’d rather help John. He silently asks the question and you nod. At this point, you’d be surprised if any of you make it out of here alive. The least you can do now is try and get John back to his family. They need him more than you need money. 

Arthur puts his hat back on. “We’re coming with you. Gonna get you out of this bullshit if it’s the last thing I do.” He pauses and looks at you. “Can you walk, sweetheart?” 

You nod and let go of him, putting weight on your knee. It twinges angrily but you ignore it. With the adrenaline still pumping in your blood, you’ll be able to keep you going. 

“Thank you, both of you,” John says, running up the hillside. You and Arthur chase after him, trying to ignore the pain in your knee. 

Shots begin ringing out again, plummeting into the rockbed as you continue to run alongside the bend of the mountain. There’s a small break in the cliffs of the mountain, forming a gorge and you run through it, climbing up the next hillside just as the Pinkertons show up. 

You and the others take cover behind some boulders. Arthur’s behind the shortest one and he stands up to get a better aim at some of the Pinkertons. He takes down four of them and then is suddenly thrown backwards, grunting in pain. 

“Arthur!” 

He starts sitting up and then cries out in pain. Staying hunched over, you run over to him and see blood seeping from just above his left hip.

“Oh God, Arthur!” you cry out.

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” He pushes you away and stands up, despite the bulletwound. He puts his free hand over it and shoots again, taking down another Pinkerton. You begin reloading when white hot pain skids across your upper left arm and shoulder as a bullet grazes you, causing you to drop your sawed-off. 

“Come on, we need to get out of here!” Arthur roars as John takes down the last visible Pinkerton. John runs up the hillside to a ledge that levels out. You chase him, clutching your bleeding arm, and Arthur hobbles after you. He only takes a few steps towards the ledge when he stops, clearly in tremendous pain. 

“Come on, Arthur, let’s go!” John calls back. You stop, wincing from the pain in your arm and knee. 

“You go,” Arthur grunts, clutching his hip. 

“Keep pushing, Arthur.” 

“No. No, I think I’ve pushed what I can for now. Now go on, take Y/N and go, I’ll hold them off and then when the bleeding stops, I’ll follow you.” 

“Arthur!” you cry out. “Where you go, I go! I’m not leaving you.” 

“Don’t, Y/N! Please, I don’t wanna split up either, but I ain’t letting you die.” 

“We’ll die together.” 

Arthur looks up at John. “You gotta take her. Even if you have to pick her up and run, do it.” 

He pauses and takes off his hat before gazing at you again. “Sweetheart, you gotta go. Please. I… I’ll never forgive myself if you die with me. Now come here.” 

“Arthur-” you start, your voice shaking. He grabs you by the shoulder and puts his hat on your head. 

“I’ll see you again, darlin’, alright? Maybe in a few days, or maybe in the next life. I promise, I’ll find you. But please, please for me. Go with John. It would mean a lot to me.” 

Your heart breaks as you realize you haven’t got a choice. It becomes painfully obvious that he doesn’t plan on leaving this mountain alive, and there’s nothing either of you can do about it. You sob and nod your head. He smiles at you. 

“I love you, Y/N. You’re a good girl. You saved my life, least I can do is return the favor.” 

He pulls you close and kisses you hard. 

“I’ll always love you, Arthur. No matter what happens, I won’t stop loving you.” 

“I know, sweetheart. I wish it could be different, but this is the way it is.” 

He lets you go and looks at John. “Now get her out of here, John. There ain’t no more time for talk.” He removes his satchel and throws it to John. “Now go.” 

From the other side of the mountain, shots begin ringing out again, warning of the approaching Pinkertons yet again. 

“Arthur…” John says. 

“Go to your family, John and save mine while you’re at it.” 

“Arthur!” you call out. You can’t leave him now, not after he’s called you his family. 

“Come on, keep pushing, Arthur. We’re almost out-” 

“Get her out of here and be a goddamn man!” Arthur roars, clutching his hip again. Despite his wound, he starts climbing up to the top of the mountain. 

John pauses and gazes at him, torn as you. “You’re my brother,” he finally says. 

“I know.” 

“Arthur. No. No! Arthur!” You’re about to take a step to him when John grabs your right arm, dragging you along. You continue to cry out his name, tears streaming down your face. 

“Come on, Y/N, you heard him. We gotta go!” 

“Arthur!” 

John growls and suddenly picks you up, throwing you over his uninjured shoulder. You begin screaming at him, throwing as many insults as you can and poudning his back and sides, but he ignores you. 

“This would be a lot easier if you would just shut up and run with me, Y/N!” 

“Fuck you, John Marston! Put me down!” 

He stops and throws you down, your injured arm slamming onto the ground, making you cry out.

“I got a family, Y/N! I don’t know about you, but I want to see Jack grow up! Now I thought you and Arthur promised to help me. So help me, goddamnit!” 

You begin sobbing, folding your arms around yourself. John’s patience is waning, you can feel it. When you look up at him, you see the sky through the trees beginning to lighten as dawn approaches. He glares down at you. 

“You gonna help me or what?” 

You clench your jaw and get up painfully to your feet. “Alright, let’s go, John. Arthur and I made a promise. Guess all I can do is try to keep it.” 

John nods, his face relaxing. “Thank you, Y/N. Now come on.” 

He begins running through the forest again, heading south. You limp after him, your knee, arm and lungs burning from the night’s activities. You just hope you have the strength to make it. 

You seem to run for a lifetime, pain shooting through every inch of your body. It’s nothing compared to the agony of your heart. All you want to do is fall to the ground and lie still, let nature grow over your body, but you keep pushing with John’s encouragement. You both burst through the trees, the river greeting you as it glitters with the light of the glowing horizon. You stop for a moment to try and catch your breath. After a moment, you straighten up to see the rising sun, bathing everything in gold. It truly is stunning.

[strongindependentblackwoman05]

His Savior

He is beaten down and broken. Everyone is dead except for him. Soon enough, he will be too, he knows it. The Fallen are closing in.

As he tries to push them back, Saint sends out one last message. He warns anyone, Guardian and civilian, to avoid the Zepyhr Station. That it is a lost cause and only death lies here. What he does not expect is an answer.

A Ghost telling him there is a Guardian on the way. To hold on until they arrive.

A desperate kind of fear grips his heart and he yells, no, screams for them to leave while he holds the Fallen off. But the Ghost seemingly ignores him, only speaking to say stay alive. Startled and shocked, he listens, but only barely. In between the gunfire and the Fallen's harsh tongue, he explains what happened, why he hates the Fallen.

They are selfish creatures trying to win back the Traveler's favor, maiming and killing and plundering. In disgust, he gags as he tells the Guardian how he once saw a dreg eat a child. Despises how they killed all the colonists under his watch with ruthlessness. Deep down, some part of Saint believes he should have died with them. He does not deserve to be alive when they are not.

The Fallen surrounding him seem to sense his moment of vulnerability, and take advantage of it.

A Captain shrieks out in Eliksni and a dozen more units, along with a Fallen Tank and a Servitor, drop to the ground. Saint curses underneath his breath before summoning up a defender bubble. Though he is weak, Saint strains to hold the sphere, to keep the Fallen away. Though any who enter get blinded, they still trample closer and closer.

His time seems to have come.

Saint closes his eyes and prepares for the death he deserves when the thundering of gunfire sounds off somewhere to his left. He peers up, optics searching everywhere until he finds a figure standing in an opening in the wall.

A Titan in black and silver armor stands there, killing Fallen with deadly accuracy. When the Fallen retreat farther back, the Titan surges forward with flames wrapping around their fists to form a hammer. With a slight flick of the wrist, it soars through the air and meets its mark in the skull of a dreg.

At the death of one of their own, the Fallen fall back, allowing the Titan to push forward towards Saint. They shield him with their body, killing any Fallen who linger too close to him.

Saint-14 watches from his place in the void circle as they fight against the oncoming hordes of Fallen. Each time they fall, when they do, they come back, fighting harder than the time before. The Servitor that once came close to killing him crumbles beneath their bullets and the spider tank that nearly broke through his sphere melts beneath the heat of their Sol. Through the smoke and bodies, they stand victorious.

He releases the bubble, allows his Light to snap back to him like a rubber band. His body hurts and his heart is heavy with guilt, but he forces himself to stand and look at his savior.

"We never should have come here," He admits, pressing a hand to his aching side. A metallic sigh hums through his helmet."

Another minute and they would have eaten my Ghost. Fallen are monsters." He spits the last part out with heated venom and hatred.

The Titan does not answer him, only watching as their Ghost floats into existence beside them.

"Some are," The Ghost responds vaguely. "Are you fit to fight, Titan?"

He almost flinches back, memories fluttering to all the civilians he'd lost. He does not want to fight, not anymore. Not after all the death.

"I was supposed to protect these people. I should be dead."

The Titan tilts their head, curious. They share a look with the Ghost before both turn back to him. Their Ghost's shell flashes an iridescent onyx as it spins. With a chirp and a beep, he says, "You're stronger than you think.

"Not strong enough," Saint replies as shame ripples through his body.

He turns away, no longer having the heart to stare at the other Guardian. In his guilt-wracked haze, he does not see the Ghost fly away from the Titan and to him. Only the whooshing of a transmit edges his head up and towards the sound.

A shotgun, unlike any he'd ever laid eyes on, floats in the air. In awe, he reaches up to grab it, allowing the weight to settle in his hands.

"What is this?" He breathes, looking over the barrel and testing the sights.

"This is the Perfect Paradox," The Ghost begins. "Built by my guardian out of spare parts and Light and sheer will to aide you."

The Ghost sounds proud. He should be, Saint thinks. For a weapon this impressive, anyone should be proud of the craftsmanship.

"It's beautiful."

The Ghost chirps at his comment before twirling through the air to hover behind Saint.

Saint barely keeps looks up, attention still trained on the beauty of a gun in his hands.

Blue lights flash up all around and his head shoots up to glance around.

"I probably shouldn't be showing you this but when has it ever stopped us before?" The Ghost remarks as his optic brims with a beam of Light, depicting a diagram of an entire city and one huge, towering building.

He feels like a child, staring in awe and silence. Even more so as he spies the smooth round orb he recognizes as the Traveler.

"This is the last safe city of humanity, hundreds of years from now," He elaborates. The Ghost spins once, talking again with a hint of warmth in his voice.

"During the day, there are children laughing in the streets. When night falls, the people sleep in their homes. Not against the wall -weapons in hand - like the early days."

Saint feels a stab to his heart and he seems to wilt. He cocks his head to the side to look at the Ghost.

"Like my people."

The Ghost senses the melancholy tone, twirling his shell and hovering closer to the Defender Titan.

"These are your people, Saint," He insists. "Their descendants. If you quit the fight, maybe you'll live forever. Your Ghost will protect you no matter what. But this Last City might never happen."

Despite the Ghost's faint pleading, Saint shakes his head, mind already made up.

"Everything I've ever built has died. I've buried most of the people I've met. I-I can't do this. Not anymore."

His voice module fades quietly as he turns to look back at the glowing hologram. The shotgun is holstered on his back. It is an alien feeling but one not unwelcome to him. The Ghost sighs but relents saying, "We all make our own choices. Good luck, Ti-"

It pauses in its sentence.

Saint turns back, surprised as the Titan has one hand outreached in front of their Ghost as if to stop him. When they feel Saint's attention locked on to them, they turn their helmet to look back, straightening and moving to stand in front of him.

"Just because you've lost everything, it doesn't mean you should give up the fight."

The feminine sound of her voice is almost masked by the firm tone she uses. It makes him feel as if he's being scolded. But he holds his tongue, waiting for her to continue.

"There are others out there who count on you. When they need strength, they look to you. When they dream of a better future, they think of you."

The Titan ventures even closer, releasing one hand from her gun to lay it on his shoulder.

"Be their beacon of hope. Be the light which shines upon them in the shadow of darkness."

Those words alone make him regret ever trying to give up. Speechless, he can't conjure up anything to say as she steps back to her Ghost. The helmet upon her head tips forward once as they both dissipate before his eyes.

With her words resonating in his head, Saint-14 turns back to the hologram of the Titan's City. He watches as the thousands of buildings blink and fade away. As the tall towering building above it all disappears into the air, Saint decides he will keep fighting.

As the tall Towering building above it all disappears into the air, Saint-14 decides he will keep fighting.

He will protect the people, his people, so that one day they may be able to live a safe life in a city and not one laying against walls, waiting for the next Fallen attack. Until then, he will follow the Titan's example. One day, he will try to be the Guardian she is. And he will keep trying, even if it takes his whole fourteenth life.

[twistedsinews]

For the Halloween prompts: cold chill

Saints Row; Faith/Gat, Carlos; PG-13 (for injury)

Raindrops fell against heavy industrial plastic, somewherefar above her head.  Dusk-hued lightdripped through the cracks of the half-built, concrete shell of a building, castingeverything in a heavy storm-cloud grey.

At length, she realized must have passed out.  It was a fleeting bit of awareness, as aslick, rhythmic pain seeped through, bloodied and warm and in stark contrast tothe chill that seemed to have seeped into her bones.

The soft scuff of footsteps echoed through the building, andher breath caught in her throat.

Samedi.

She’d gotten into a firefight with the Samedi.  And she must have managed to kill them all,because she was still alive.

Didn’t mean they didn’t have friends.

She got her hand underneath her, and tried to push up off thefloor.  There was a flash of movement andshe tensed, painfully, then relaxed again as she managed to discern a blur of purple.  Rolling a little further onto her side, shesquinted up in the gloom.

“The fuck are you doing here?” she rasped.

He scoffed a breathless laugh.  “Where else am I supposed to be?”

She supposed he had a point. Carlos cast a restless glance at the building around them, his attentionreturned to her.

“You know, you don’t look so hot.”

She tried to laugh. It came out as a wheeze.  And hurt.

Giving her a pained, sympathetic smile, Carlos dropped down tohis knees beside her.

“Here,” he offered. He slid one hand around her elbow, and the other over hershoulders.  With a little effort, and hishelp, she managed to drag herself upright, with her back propped against the shortstub of a concrete wall.  More bloodseeped into her clothes, a squishy and slick sensation, and she grimaced.

“Call someone, would you?”

“Can’t,” he told her. “I lost my phone, remember?”

She gave a frustrated groan at that.

She couldn’t say she that did.

Carlos’ hand remained on her arm, touch soft and warm.  The bit of color in his clothes, and even hisskin, caught the light, and stood out against the murky, plastic-shrouded sunsetsurrounding them.

He turned his head, and she followed his gaze towards abillowing sheet of plastic.  Somethingwas moving on the other side, like a fish caught under ice.  She didn’t know where her gun was, or herphone… she watched in detached fascination as fingers slipped through a gapin the curtain, pulling it cautiously to one side.

Shotgun cradled in one arm, Johnny stared at her for a longmoment.  Then stepped through, casing thescene as he did, before his gaze dropped back to her.

Still on high alert, Gat nevertheless strode straight forher.  He gave the skeletal room anotherglance, and giving a particularly grim scowl to the corpses she’d left in herwake, before dropping down into a crouch in front of her.  Carlos leaned back out of the way to give himspace.  

Johnny’s hands burned against her skin as he assessed thedamage.

“I’m cold,” she murmured.

“Yeah, well… you always fuckin’ cold,” he murmured back.

He found his phone and dialed a number, then stretched toshed his jacket, draping it over her as he waited for it to connect.

She glanced at Carlos.

Gat dug his fingers under her chin, dragging her gaze backtowards him, and she watched the shadow of his eyes flicker behind tintedglass.

Everything felt fuzzy.

She awoke in a hospital bed, groggy and a little drugged upon some manner of sedative.  Feet proppedup on the mattress, Gat was reclined in a hospital chair next to her, tucked undera thin blanket.  His jacket was stilldraped over her, warmer by far than the flimsy-ass hospital gown she’d beenshoved into.

She tried to sit up, and hissed sharply at the pain thatlanced down her side.  The sound rousedGat, and he rolled his head to stare at her.

Glancing around the room, she blinked.  She could see the hospital bustling on the otherside of the open door, but they’d been left alone.

“…where’s Carlos?”

Gat’s feet hit the floor as he sat up properly.  He gave her a look, then shook his head to himself, rolling over in the chair.

Disoriented, she blinked, sinking back down onto a hospitalpillow that offered her no support.

Right.

Stupid question, really.

[ead13]

Happy Trails, Old Friend

I don’t know why I got the urge to write about Branwen dying (of old age and very happy, I can assure you!), but here it is. Also, Arthur has a soft spot for Kieran and you can’t convince me otherwise.

               “Papa! Papa! Something’s wrong with Branny!”

               Kieran could feel a knot of dread form in the pit of his stomach. This news shouldn’t surprise him; he’d noticed how Branwen was faltering, and when he really thought about it (which he rarely had time to do now that he was juggling five kids and counting), his longtime companion was old. Actually, very old. Considering Branwen had been middle-aged, probably in his teens when he was assigned to him in the army, that meant he had lived a damn good, long life for a horse.

               Knowing that didn’t make the thought of saying goodbye any easier. No doubt Becky was the bearer of bad news.

               “Let me have a look at ‘im,” he answered quickly, dropping the curry comb he had been using to brush one of his charges. Still, he did his best to remain calm for his daughter’s sake as he closed the door to the stall. No need to start the little girl crying. Before he could take her hand, she was running on ahead to the pasture where Branwen spent his golden years grazing in peace. Even from a distance, he could see the flaxen roan horse was lying on the ground. He could hear the sound of weak braying carrying across the field. No, this wasn’t good at all.

               By now, Leah had heard the commotion and come running from across the yard where she had been feeding the chickens. “Papa, what’s wrong?”

               Kieran stopped and waited for his second-eldest to join them, but it wasn’t long before Becky was tugging on his arm. Linked together, they finally arrived at Branwen’s side. The old boy’s breathing was labored, more of a shudder than anything. It didn’t take more than a second to understand the situation. “Girls, you oughtta say yer goodbyes to ol’ Branwen.”

               “You mean he’s gonna die?” Becky looked at him with wide-eyed horror.

               He reached up and rubbed his beard, trying to pass off his anxious energy so they wouldn’t catch it. “Horses don’t live as long as people do, sweetie. As far as horses go, Branwen is a real old man. Most of ‘em don’t even live to be this old. He’s had a good life, a very happy one here with us.”

               “We can’t help him?” Leah wondered sadly, reaching out to pet the quivering animal gently. Becky followed suit.

               Kieran just shook his head, gritting his teeth to keep his emotions in check. “That’s just how it is. But he’s lucky that in the end he’s safe and loved and taken care of. Not every horse gets that.” He was trying to encourage himself just as much as his daughters at this point. The only thing making this easier was the heart-warming way they hugged the ailing creature, burying their faces into his well-groomed coat. They had grown up with Branwen, riding the gentle horse when they were still small enough for him to carry their weight. Yes, so much love. All the love he deserved.

               “You two take yer time sayin’ goodbye. I’m gonna go find yer ma and let her know.” More than that, though, he was going to see if he could convince Mary-Beth to take the kids to Uncle Arthur’s farm for a visit so he could put his dear friend out of his misery without having to worry about traumatizing his kids. Also, so he could cry about it in private.

 VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

                 He thought he’d have to work harder to convince her, but Mary-Beth was a saint. Even juggling five children under the age of 10 and half-way towards their sixth, she quickly agreed to give him the space he needed. Emma went to say her goodbyes too before being packed up in the wagon, but Rachel and Kieran were too young to comprehend the situation. Mary-Beth would have visited the old horse too, but she had her hands more than full. Instead, she pulled him into a long embrace. “I’m so sorry, dear. I know Branwen means the world to you. When I get back and the kids get settled, we can talk.”

               “Thanks, darlin’, for everything,” he murmured, squeezing her tight. “I think I’m gonna need it. That and a bottle o’ whiskey…”

               When she released him, she found Becky and Leah at her skirts. “Papa, are you okay?”

He kneeled down to pull both of his girls into a big hug. “This is gonna be very hard for me. I love Branwen very much. But he’s sufferin’, and it wouldn’t be fair to make ‘im keep sufferin’. Sometimes when ya love somethin’ you gotta let it go.” Damn, his eyes were getting misty!

“Should I stay with you?” Becky wondered, looking up at him and no doubt seeing every hint of distress in his face.

He gave a small smile. “No, sweetie. Sometimes ya hafta have some space away from other people. But when you both get back, I’m gonna need another hug, okay?”

“Okay.”

Finally, everyone was packed up and the wagon was heading down the road. That just left Kieran wrapped in an abnormal silence. He went to go pull out his shotgun. This had to be a clean kill, but as he reached for the firearm, he realized his hands were shaking badly. They continued to do so as he checked the ammunition and gunpowder. How the hell was he supposed to be able to do this?

In the end he decided that he’d just sit with Branwen until sunset, maybe braid his mane one last time, see if he’d eat an apple. He’d wait until his friend was asleep before ending it.

 VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

                 There were many tears in those precious hours, and he felt bad for it, as if it would upset Branwen even more. His breathing wasn’t much better, but at least his braying stopped as his favorite human settled down next to him. Kieran had suspected long ago that Branwen couldn’t really see anymore, having watched him bump into things. He always reacted to his voice, though, and that brought him some level of peace. He couldn’t eat the apple, just didn’t have the energy even though it was his favorite. This really was the end…

               Kieran was so in the moment that he nearly missed the sound of hoof beats. Who in the world would be coming now? It was too late in the day for any customer to return for their horse, and the kids surely couldn’t be back this early. He didn’t really have the energy to get up and look. Once he got up, he’d have to pull the trigger.

               “Kieran, I figured you’d be draggin’ yer heels.”

               The familiar voice caused him to startle. “A-Arthur?”

               He looked up to find the imposing figure of Arthur Morgan towering over him as robust as ever despite the onset of some graying hairs. “Heard ‘bout ol’ Branwen when yer brood showed up at my place. Puttin’ a horse to rest ain’t no one-man job, so I thought I’d come over and assist. I’m assumin’…” he gestured to the wide expanse of land their ranch covered, “there’ll need to be a proper burial.”

               “Huh, yer right. Guess I didn’t think of that,” Kieran admitted, looking downcast. He turned his gaze to the sinking sun. “I ain’t got any more time left, do I? Not if I hafta get this done before they get back.”

               “I reckon not. I also reckon…” he paused, scratching his head awkwardly. “I mean, if ya want, I could be the one to pull the trigger.”

               It wasn’t the idea of the finality of a trigger pull; it was all the idea that Arthur was kind enough to offer. He lost it. “I’m sorry, I thought I was done with this!” he tried to explain, wiping the tears now streaming from his eyes as he stumbled to his feet. He didn’t want his emotions to disturb Branwen, who had fallen asleep. “It ain’t like I’m losin’ my wife or my kids, I got no reason to be actin’ like this…”

               Arthur put a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Kieran, look at me.” The man struggled to obey, but Arthur refused to continue until he did. “I still remember how hard it was to lose Boadicea. I’d had that horse for a long time. But you and Branwen, even I know that was something more. You’d been down some pretty dark roads, all on yer own ‘cept for that horse. I know there were times he was all you had.”

               Now Kieran was crying uncontrollably in a way he hadn’t allowed himself to yet, all desires to handle this like a man crumbling away. “I used to say that all I knew ‘bout life was that people kept dyin’ and I loved horses. I thought Branwen and I would die too, alone. I don’t think I would have even bothered to keep livin’ if I didn’t have him to take care of. We finally got lucky though, him an’ me. You fellers took us in, got me on my feet, and now I’ve got Mary-Beth and five beautiful children and a home, and…and…” Finally, he let himself fall weakly against Arthur’s shoulder. “He got me through it all, but now his time is done, and I have other things to be livin’ for. Just gonna be an awfully big hole. It’s gonna feel so wrong after all these years.”

               It still was uncomfortable for Arthur, gruff as he was, to wrap his thick arms around the man, even for a few seconds of comfort. Still, he sucked it up for Kieran, because there was something touching about the idea that he trusted him like this with his vulnerabilities. Their relationship had always been one of mentor and mentee, perhaps the only one in Kieran’s entire life, and even after ten years and plenty of aging from both of them, that hadn’t changed. “That’s why I came, so you wouldn’t hafta do this alone. I’ll be the one to end it, so you don’t hafta.”

               “B-but, Branwen is my horse, my responsibility,” Kieran protested weakly, pulling away.

               “You have taken damn good care of that horse. There is no shame in lettin’ me do this,” Arthur insisted sternly. “Ain’t nobody gonna think less of ya for it, especially not when I’m offerin’.”

               It wasn’t worth a fight, not when he really didn’t want to do it. “Fine. Gun’s over there,” he gestured before wiping his eyes roughly.

               “Anything else you’ve gotta say to ‘im?”

               “Naw. It’s been said. And he’s sleepin’. I don’t wanna wake ‘im.”

               “All right. You go find some shovels and don’t come back ‘til you hear the shot.”

               He did as requested, flinching at the harsh sound of the gun and squeezing his eyes shut from his position in the shed. It was over. When all was said and done, they had a hole dug and Branwen buried, mane braided and apple given for his road to whatever afterlife there was for horses. Kieran desperately wanted to believe they’d go to heaven same as people so they might be reunited again one day. The dirt was barely filled in when the wagon bearing his family came rolling on in.

               Becky and Leah both jumped off as soon as it was stopped and came barreling towards their father, ignoring their Uncle Arthur completely. “Papa, we’re back!” They latched onto him immediately.

“Girls, I’m so happy to see ya.” Kieran wrapped his arms around them, then cast a glance at the rest of his family. His other children were squirming impatiently to be lifted down, but Mary-Beth took the time to meet his gaze. The concern in her eyes touched his heart. She may be busy being a mother, but he knew without a doubt that she was the best wife a man could ask for. Then, he looked to Arthur, who seemed amused by his nieces’ open affection. When he saw him looking, he nodded and grabbed the shovels, heading to the shed to put them away.

               Good Lord, Branwen was gone, but look at everything he had now, things he could only dream of when they’d first met. It would be hard, but he could survive this loss now.

[stusbunker]

WW - S06 E04 Weekend At Bobby's 😘

(Weird Wednesdays are brought to by bastardizing the wiki)

One year ago and shortly after trapping Lucifer and Michael in Lucifer's Cage, Bobby summons Crowley and demands the return of his soul. Crowley refuses and smugly quotes his contract, which states that he only has to "make best efforts" to give Bobby his soul back. He agrees to give Bobby ten years of life, but that is all. Bobby then reveals he has trapped Crowley in a devil's trap made with black light paint, but Crowley threatens him with his hellhound until Bobby releases him.

Bobby’s junkyard dog, Rumsfeld, who everyone forgot about, perks up at the sound of a new friend and Crowley relents and summons Juliet for a playdate. The dogs run the perimeter of the salvage yard and the owner’s discuss training and stories of when they were pups. Bobby brings out some glasses and Crowley falls for the holy water in his scotch. Eventually, they laugh it off.

In the present day, Sam and Dean are in Wisconsin (namely Kenosha, where my husband was born) on the trail of a monster that cracks open the bodies of its victims. It leaves a large black claw in the chest cavity of the latest victim, and they call Bobby for help. Even though Bobby says that he's busy. And Sam always has wifi. Bobby steps up and spends hours researching, going so far as to break into a University library to find a book that he needs. I mean, they’re his kids, who else would he go to jail for?

And we wonder why he was the one with all the drunk and disorderlies...

It's early morning the next day when he calls Dean to tell him that they're hunting a lamia. Usually only in Greece, a lamia "juices hearts and chugs the blood." Which Sam quickly jots down, because that could be the next step in his smoothie fixation. Bobby tells them it can be killed by a silver knife blessed by a priest. What kind of priest? Who knows, who cares. Probably an acolyte of Apollo or some shit. But, they can do their own research now, moochers.

After he's off the phone, Bobby goes down to his basement, where he has a crossroads demon tied up and caught in a devil's trap. He wants to know Crowley's true name - the name he had as a human before he died and became a demon in Hell - so he tortures the demon by using a blowtorch to singe its bones. Finally, she admits that Crowley, who is now the King of Hell, was a Scottish man named Fergus MacLeod in life. The other demons call him "Lucky the Leprechaun" behind his back.

Which just goes to prove that demons are stupid and unofficially most Scots and Irish end up in heaven, because there is no way it was that funny of a joke.

Once Bobby has the information he needs, he burns the demon's bones, killing it and its host. And no one is really surprised, we are only allowed to worry about vessels when it’s a recurring character.

After killing the demon, Bobby answers phones and backs up other hunters posing as various law enforcement officials until Rufus knocks on his door. Rufus has the police on his tail and needs Bobby's help burying the body of a Snorlax, a monster usually only seen in Japan. They bury the body on Bobby's property and Rufus leaves just before Sheriff Jody Mills shows up with an FBI agent, Agent Adams. Agent Adams is looking for Rufus.

And as exhausting as this episode is, it just shows what Bobby Singer’s life really is like. It wasn’t a single week of annoyance, it was always like that. He’s a goddamn saint in a cantankerous facade. Bobby is a fucking hero.

Dean calls while the FBI agent is there and asks for help killing the lamia because they couldn't kill it with a silver knife blessed by a priest. Bobby tells him to find salt and rosemary and "blend the herbs, saute over a high heat, and cook well," and hangs up when Dean finishes his audition for Cutthroat Kitchen and flambes the lamia. Agent Adams is persistent, and Sheriff Jody Mills tries to distract him, but Adams finds the spot where the Snorlax was buried. Fortunately, there is no longer any evidence of a crime because the damn thing is gone. Unfortunately, Rufus didn't stab it enough times to kill it, and it has been feeding on single white gamers while they sleep.

Rufus and Bobby deserved a fucking spin off for this episode alone. Jesus these two were perfect.

While Bobby was interrogating the crossroads demon, Marcy Ward rang his doorbell with a homemade peach cobbler. She has been his neighbor for six months now, and seems to be interested in him romantically, asking him over for dinner and a movie and then, when he seemed hesitant, asking him to come over and take a look at her wood chipper, which has broken down. When he learns that the Snorlax might be after her, he breaks down her door with a shotgun, scaring her, but drawing out the Snorlax, which had been waiting in her bedroom to kill her. Her playstation still paused to the final boss.

When the Snorlax is killed in Marcy's (obviously functioning) wood chipper, she is covered in blood. Bobby still tries to salvage a relationship with her, but she turns him down. He never was as cavalier as he wanted to be and victims are rarely as grateful as they are in fanfic.

Rufus thanks Bobby for helping him with the pokemon, and tells him what his contacts in Scotland have learned about Fergus MacLeod, aka Crowley. Crowley had a son named Gavin MacLeod, whose signet ring is now on display in a maritime museum in Andover, Massachusetts. Rufus is already there willing to steal the ring for Bobby. Because, that’s what friends do. And no matter how annoying or argumentative they are, both of those ornery bastards listen when the other is talking or dealing with their own problems.

Dean calls to talk about Sam and how he's changed in the past year, Dean can’t stand his new manscaping regimen especially, but when Bobby puts Dean on hold to talk to Rufus (who is fleeing law enforcement after stealing the ring), Dean accuses him of being selfish.

I have seen people go off on Bobby for this rant and I just want you all to know, FUCK OFF. Bobby had every right to say what he did in this episode. We all knew Sam was “WRONG”, Dean should have picked a different way to unload on Bobby about it.

Bobby asks for Sam and he yells at the brothers over speakerphone, calling them "whiny, self-absorbed, sons-of-bitches" that he does everything for without a word of thanks. He reminds them Crowley still has his soul and tells them to "sack up" and help him for once. Sam says all Bobby had to do was ask. While Dean pouts in the corner because he didn’t want to talk TO SAM about SAM. He wanted to gossip.

As a favor to Bobby, Sheriff Mills extradites Rufus and allows him to "escape custody" so that Rufus can deliver the signet ring to Bobby. You just gonna gloss over how he got it to South Dakota safely? Really? That level of dedication is just overlooked these days.

Bobby uses the ring to summon Gavin's ghost, and they "have a chat." He then summons Crowley, who arrives and discovers he is trapped in another devil's trap. Which, why isn’t he always at this point? Summon him constantly gents, it’s like a round of musical Crowley. No? Too much? Eh, what do you know.

Crowley repeats his position that he won't give Bobby his soul, but Bobby counters by revealing his son Gavin's ghost. Fergus, aka Crowley, and Gavin hated each other so Gavin is useless as a bargaining chip, but he gave Bobby all the information he wanted about Crowley, including where his bowling shoes were buried. Which I don’t think Gavin would have known, but that’s just more confusing shit for a later episode where we time travel to find the real Gavin and not just a bitter old spirit.

Bobby hands Crowley the phone so that he can talk to Dean, who tells him that he and Sam are standing over Crowley's comical size sevens in Scotland. Bobby makes Crowley an offer: his beloved shoes in exchange for Bobby's soul, and Crowley agrees. Bobby makes sure that he will still have the use of his legs before releasing him from the devil's trap, with a pat on the ass for good measure.

Crowley appears in Scotland moments later, where Sam and Dean are still standing over his supposed grave. Dean threatens to burn the lucky bowling shoes anyway, but Sam tells him to stand down, saying "a deal's a deal." Crowley picks up his personalized bag and disappears, and Bobby thanks Sam and Dean for flying to Scotland and helping him get his soul back.

Dean was on a plane for 8 hours? Sam must have given him that good shit, because aint no other way that was happening....