#saints are go | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inbabylontheywept · 6 months ago

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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

#i feel a kinship with that snake #would that i could be a simple tube #and eat my fill of eggs #but being a person is rather nice too #my wife is a saint #and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy #but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college #and i deserved to just go a little insane #you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs

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doe-prince · 4 months ago

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Just a girl locking in

#ullamaisa #cornish rex #not art #the owner of that tail is an actual saint because this kept going for ten minutes #cat

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gongyussy · 1 year ago

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j… jesus oppa ;____;

#ashsksjsks jesus k-idol era… and when he does his comeback stage…..???#i just want you to know the last thing i saw before my plane took off was an “i’m going to jesus cafe” message from my grandma #and the first thing i saw when i landed fifteen hours later yesterday was 130+ unread messages on kakaotalk #and i opened it and most of it was cutesy photos my grandma had sent me of her and white jesus #also: she is not even christian…. her friends were like wanna come and she was just like WHY NOT?#also… if you’re interested… in japan there’s a manga called 聖☆おにいさん (translated as ‘saint young men’)#which focuses on the lives of roomates jesus and buddha #(also there are fancomics based on this… including. of course. jesus/judas)#christmas

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mashmouths · 1 year ago

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does anyone know how to stop the body from keeping score? i have shit to do

#i have shit to do but i'm so bad at both going to sleep and staying asleep that it's been fucking up my life for years at this point #yes this about accidentally sleeping through class this morning but in my defense i had an atomic tummy moment at like 6 am :( which is #kind of my point? an reason for missing sleep shouldn't stop me from participating in my own life and i'm tired of rationing my waking hours #if sleep was optional i would be unstoppable essentially but alas. alack even. specifically a lack of sleep.#girl all the saints have it out for me today for skipping church on a holy day of obligation i guess. well fuck those guys.#a post

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dirtgrubber · 4 months ago

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“They’re… what are they doing? Is that Alastor, holding flowers?”

another banger of a chapter from “Of Saints and Sinners” by the amazing @morningstarwrites

#radioapple #osas #alastor #lucifer #hazbin hotel #duckiedeer #my art #of saints and sinners #the vees #obsessed with drawing the vees now btw #i wish i didn’t have a job so i could’ve spent infinitely more time on this #but oh well here ya go

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magical-girl-coral · 3 months ago

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I wonder how many people on tumblr who are sharing posts about never killing yourself and suicide hotlines are also the same ones who told Jews to go die in Poland because we asked them not to promote fascist beliefs.

#i am going to be a negative nancy about this fucking nightmare #the same people who dehumanized me for over a year now have the fucking gall to act like saints #i am fucking bitter and i will be open about it. block me if you fucking have to i am not going to be quiet about this #Jumblr #antisemitism #us politics

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lelelego · 2 years ago

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