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shivvyscat · 10 months ago

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Stay.

[summary: shiv lets you lounge on her bed after an afternoon together, watching her get ready for an event; lots of gay panic and reader being a simping mess]

[gxg, shiv x f!reader]

• • •

It took Siobhan at least a year of hooking up before she even entertained the idea of you staying at her place for even ten minutes after being done in bed. But you persisted, and you would’ve been fine with being kicked on your ass for another year if it meant getting the slightest bit closer to the redhead.

Your patience paid off though, and now each time you went to see her after an ‘I have the place to myself, come over’ text, you’d get your cuddles, your long talks, and sometimes, you’d get a glimpse of her life, that she would willingly show you. Tonight was one of those days, as you laid naked in Shiv’s bed, watching her sit in front of her vanity mirror, in her cute little satin robe.

“Could you not?” Her silky voice brought you out of your haze.

“I’m not even doing anything.” Shiv raised a brow, looking at you through the mirror with that smirk that made you want to get on your knees and kiss her from toe to head. But you kept your cool.

“You’re ogling. It’s annoying.” Her hands kept working on her face, your eyes still on her.

“Well, you’re the one ogling if it’s bothering you. Look at your own pretty face.” You tease and turn on your stomach, cuddling a blanket as your head is still turned to her direction.

“You little shit.” She laughs, and you grin, wanting to make her laugh again, and again, and then one more time. “Don’t you have anything else to do? I have to be sharp for this thing. Get in the right headspace to deal with those fuckers.” You revelled in the way her eyes lingered for one second longer on your half sheet-covered figure even as she said this.

“Not really.” You lied. The truth is that you had a bunch of stuff you could be doing instead of lounging in this woman’s bed. But you wanted to be here, for as long as she’d have you, you would be here.

“Yeah, well, I do, so quit it.”

“Why did you even invite me over if you knew you had this thing? I wouldn’t have come if I knew it was gonna be just a couple hours.” Before you even said it, you knew it was another lie. You would’ve come here if Siobhan wanted just a quick release. You would’ve come here if she wanted just a peck on the lips.

“You would’ve.” Shiv smirked. “Besides, I wanted you. Got a problem with that, Y/N?”

“Whatever. Like I said, I had the day free, anyway.”

“Oh yeah? No standing up your girlfriend for this?” She asked, a little teasingly, her movements as she fixes her hair as sharp as her tongue. You smile.

“Which one are you talking about?”

“Hm, I don’t know. Roman did say you fucked his girlfriend.” Shiv looks amused as she turns on her seat, grabbing a bottle of lotion from the vanity and leaning down to apply it on her legs. Now you’re really ogling.

“I fucked you. Are you my girlfriend?” This makes her laugh. And once again you bask in the pleasure of that sound being caused by you.

“Come here, smartass.” You raise your brows, eyes full of surprise and subtle excitement. “What? Are you scared? I want your opinion on something.”

“Oh, that’s a first.” You lean over the edge of the bed to grab your shirt from the floor, but she stops you.

“Uh uh. That won’t be necessary. Come here.” You stand up, completely bare as you walk up to her. Once again revelling in the way her eyes travel up and down your body, in that subtle way only she can pull off, and probably only you can notice. She pulls you closer by the waist. “Which of these go best with my eyeshadow and a black dress?” She holds up a few lipstick options.

“Hm… I don’t know. This one?” Shiv scoffs, with a grin.

“Please, that one screams whore.”

“Why do you even have it?”

“For situations where it’s acceptable. Like your birthday party.” She looks up at you with that teasing smile, it makes you smile as well, and your knees feel like they might buckle under you.

“Oh, fuck you, Siobhan.”

“What? Don’t you remember this lipstick all over your body after? I think it looked great. But not for tonight.” She puts the options down. “Come here.”

“What, you ass?” Shiv pulls you in again, making you settle on her lap, your thighs on each side of hers. You are so, so aware of the minuscule amount of barrier between you two.

“Put….” She holds your waist with one hand, and with the other she picks out a lighter option of red. “This one on me.”

“I’m sorry, are your hands not working?” You smile, grabbing the lipstick she handed you, once her hand is free she holds the other side of your waist, her touch firm and gentle at the same time.

“Well, I want you in my lap. You might as well do it for me, no?” You roll your eyes, unable to not smile at her words, her expression, her hands caressing from your hips to below your breasts.

“Pucker up, then.” You reach up for her lips, but before you touch them with makeup, you lean in and kiss her, just a soft contact. As you pull away, she puts her hand on the back of your neck and pulls you into a proper kiss.

It’s hard to keep it going, since you’re both smiling, you pull back with a chuckle. “Do you wanna get ready or not?”

“Yes. Don’t go overboard. Just one layer is fine.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Shut up.” She mutters, trying not to move her lips too much as you put on her lipstick, it’s clear to you that she wants to smile.

“All done.” You put the little tube back on the table and she turns to inspect your work, her hands not once leaving your body.

Shiv hums. “Good.” She moves your hair behind your shoulders. “I’m gonna get dressed….” She says in a lower voice, leaning into your neck, planting little teasing kisses on it. “And you’re gonna be right on that bed when I get back.”

You tilt your head a little to give her better access, sighing softly. “Yeah?”

“Hm mhm. I want you here. Stay.” Shiv says, and you nod. She lightly smacks your ass, making you stand up from her lap. “And don’t get dressed.”

Shiv voice says ‘demand’, but her eyes say ‘plead’. Either way, you’re going to oblige. You’re gonna be here when she gets back. You always are.

• • •

(my first tumblr post 😭 send me requests! I love writing for shiv. let me know your thoughts as well <3)

#shiv roy x reader #shiv roy #succession #succession x reader #fanfiction #self insert #x reader #siobhan roy

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ladyeyrewrites · 2 months ago

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Feelings Hurled Like Hand Grenades

Read from Chapter One

Rated M

4544 words

TW: homophobia

Chapter Twelve: A House Full of Cruelty

Gina wasn’t about to let her nephew sit in the car for seven hours immediately after getting out of the hospital. “You’re staying with me for the next few days,” she said. “I insist.”

Thomas and Evan held one of their wordless conversations before Thomas sighed and Evan grinned in triumph. It seemed Gina might have to have a conversation with her nephew about accepting help when it was offered. “We’d be delighted,” said Evan. “I’ll talk to Bobby and arrange for someone to cover my shifts, and Tommy’s already going to be out on medical leave for a while so we’re in no rush to head back down to LA.” He shrugged. “Besides, it’ll be nice to hang out for a bit, see where Tommy grew up.”

Thomas shook his head. “Pretty sure the gravel lot where I used to go to pretend to hook up with girls was turned into a development,” he said.

Evan chuckled and gave Thomas a look that made Gina feel like she was intruding. “Well,” she said to remind them she was still in the room. “How about I go and get Thomas’s discharge paperwork sorted?”

That night, after Thomas and Evan ensconced themselves in Gina’s guestroom, she sat on her lovely green velvet sofa and sipped her wine and allowed herself to feel every emotion she’d had to shove aside from the moment she’d gotten the call from the hospital.

Of course, she’d been worried for Thomas, but it had been more than worry. There’d been fear – not that Thomas wouldn’t survive. Rationally she’d known he wasn’t likely to die from a broken leg, this was the twenty-first century after all. But sitting in that hospital room had catapulted her back to that day with Siobhan.

The day she’d collapsed.

The day Gina had rushed her to the hospital.

The day she’d been dragged kicking and screaming away from her lover’s deathbed.

The day she’d been faced with true injustice, shown what society thought of her and people like her: not even spared the dignity of a chance to say goodbye.

Gina had grown up in a house full of cruelty. Between her father and her older brother, she’d thought herself hardened to how awful people could be, until she was faced with the cruelty of good people trying to do the right thing within the bounds of a system that viewed Gina and Siobhan and the love that they shared as aberrations. Good people who had to prioritise the bonds of blood over the bonds of love or else risk their jobs. Good people who took Siobhan’s care away from Gina and gave it to the last people on Earth Siobhan had wanted to see: her parents.

Read more on Ao3 or below the cut

“You know, my parents aren’t good with hospitals either.”

Gina almost spilled her wine all over the green velvet of her sofa and wouldn’t that be a misery to try to get clean? She turned and found Evan standing at the end of the hallway, watching her. “Come, sit,” she patted the spot next to her, the one that had almost been soaked through with wine startled from her glass. “Don’t just lurk there in the shadows.”

Evan smiled, but exhaustion squeezed through the lines of his face. He sat, long legs stretched out in front of him and sighed. What a day he must have had? What a week? One corner of his mind almost certainly occupied with the safety of the man he loved while Thomas fought a wildfire. And the rest of his mind forced to turn to the ordinary, everyday tasks of life. Gina wasn’t sure she understood how he could stand it. Just the thought of Thomas being out there, flying above the blaze seized her stomach with fear and she’d only found out about it after the fact. Evan had known where Thomas was and what he was doing the entire time.

“How is he?” Gina asked.

“Out like a light,” said Evan. “He is going to be a pain in the ass once he’s a little more with it though.” He laughed and shook his head fondly.

“And how are you?” she asked, fixing him with a sharp gaze. “You must have been scared for him.”

Evan sighed and shook his head as though shaking his thoughts into place. “Of course,” he said. “No matter how many times I go through this, it never gets easier. But this is the first time with Tommy.” He rubbed his hands along his thighs in a soothing gesture. “The whole flight up, I was worrying about something happening to him, some sort of complication, that I’d get off the plane and find a message from the hospital or you with bad news.” He took a shaky breath and Gina cast her eye about for the nearest box of tissues just in case the damn broke and ended up having to comfort a sobbing future nephew-in-law.

“The last time I was that scared was when Maddie’s ex kidnapped her, and I didn’t know if she was alive or dead.”

Gina blinked, trying to make sure she’d heard every word of that sentence correctly. “Your sister was kidnapped?” she asked.

Evan nodded and then launched into a longwinded retelling of his sister’s first marriage, her flight to LA, her ex-husband tacking her down, the kidnapping, his sister killing her ex in self-defence. It was a lot to take in.

“Your sister’s a strong woman to come back from that and still be willing to open herself up to love again,” said Gina. And maybe it was the stress of the last twenty-four hours, or maybe in was the wine, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was somehow lesser. She’d built so many walls up around herself and her heart, spent twenty years keeping the possibility of finding someone new at bay. And the only thing the person she’d loved had done was die. If Maddie Buckley could move forward, what was Gina’s excuse?

“She’s the strongest person I know,” said Evan. He fell silent, staring into a memory Gina couldn’t begin to guess at.

“I don’t know about you,” she said. “but I could use a distraction from thinking about injuries and hospitals. Tell me, how are the wedding plans going?”

And that was exactly the right question to ask.

Gina went to bed that night with her ears ringing with talk of centre pieces and wedding favours and colour schemes.

The next day, they propped Thomas on the sofa to recuperate and Gina called in a personal day, much to Tabitha’s shock and delight. “That nephew of yours is going to have to break his leg at least once a year if it means you’ll take time off,” she said before hanging up.

Not that Gina actually took much time off to rest. While Thomas marathoned 90s rom coms, Evan emerged from the guest bedroom with his wedding binder. Gina sat with him at her dining table, going over the guest list, occasionally requesting input from Thomas.

“Should we invite Veronica and Simone?” Evan asked. “We’ve already decided to invite Noah.”

Thomas paused Runaway Bride on a particularly unflattering frame of Julia Roberts and frowned. “I don’t want to cause trouble for them,” he said.

Gina sighed. “Don’t let your father dictate the guest list at your wedding,” she said. “That man has taken enough of your happiness. Don’t let him take this as well.”

“But what if he finds the invitation?” Thomas asked. “What if he asks why they’re going to LA for a weekend? What if he won’t let them go or insists on going with them?”

“All justifiable concerns,” Gina admitted. “You probably understand your father’s controlling nature better than I do, but he’s not as sharp as he used to be,” she said. “He spends most of his time drinking. He’s barely home, at least that’s what Anthony tells me. Believe me, Simone and Noah have been able to get away with a lot more than you ever did.”

A series of complicated emotions traipsed across Thomas’s face before circling back to worry. “But what if Dad finds out after?” he asked. “I don’t want to put them in danger.”

Gina sighed. “Maybe speak to Veronica about it,” she said. “Let her make the decision. It’s her safety and that of her children after all.”

Thomas nodded. “I don’t have her phone number.”

Gina smiled softly. “Luckily, I do.”

Gina called Veronica at work – day shift at one of the local nursing homes. “Thomas and Evan have a question for you,” she said.

“What kind of question?” Veronica asked.

“I’ll tell you once you get off shift,” said Gina. “You’re coming to dinner. Just you. I’m sure Simone can see to it that she’s invited to that boyfriend’s house for dinner, if you’re worried about leaving her alone with Jonathan.”

“Jonathan wouldn’t hurt her,” said Veronica, a bit too sharply for Gina’s liking. It sounded too forced, too like denial, like maybe Jonathan would hurt Simone or at least Veronica was afraid that that was a line he’d eventually cross if given the proper motivation. “He’s still volunteering to support the evacuation efforts with the wildfire. He won’t even know we’re gone.” And yet, her voice was still tinged with fear. And God, Gina wished there was something she could do, but Jonathan had too many friends on the force and in the courts, men who knew him only as an affable drunk, who’d listened to him rant about his wives and his kids, who would side with him if any accusations of abuse came up.

Which is why Thomas’s mother, Angela had never told anyone about what was going on.

Why Thomas had chosen to leave the first chance he got.

Why Michael had followed Jonathan’s footsteps into Alcoholism.

Why Anthony had lashed out.

Why Noah had taken to spending as much time at work or friends’ houses or Athony’s apartment as possible.

All of them finding their own means of escape.

Just as Gina had done all those years ago when she’d fled her hometown for San Fransisco. When she’d shed the façade of a catholic schoolgirl and finally embraced her true self.

A true self she’d slowly shoved back into the box of her upbringing by coming home at her mother’s insistence, confining her truth and her love to the four walls of the house she shared with Siobhan.

And she’d hidden that self from everyone besides Tabitha and her mother for years, until she’d let her secret slip that first dinner with Thomas and Evan. She hadn’t even let herself mourn properly. She’d been so scared of her secret getting out, of people questioning the depth of her grief over the death of her “roommate” that she’d let herself turn frigid.

Becoming cold, that’s how she’d survived the grief.

But had she survived it?

Or had she let grief deaden her?

She hadn’t let herself think about it until Thomas’s return and Evan’s arrival in her life. Until she’d started feeling little pin prickles of joy spreading through her soul, hinting at everything she’d been denying herself.

Gina wasn’t sure she could cope with that thought right now, so she put on her broad brimmed hat and her gardening gloves and went outside to pretend to pull weeds until Veronica arrived.

Which is what she’d done that day after getting kicked out of the hospital, before she knew that Siobhan hadn’t survived.

2006

This wasn’t happening.

It wasn’t fair.

Over the course of a day, she’d woken up to Siobhan making pancakes for breakfast, spent the rest of the morning lazing in bed. And then Siobhan had collapsed in the shower and Gina had called for an ambulance. The paramedics had been kind enough to let her ride with Siobhan to the hospital.

But the kindness ended the moment Siobhan was wheeled through those glass doors into the ER.

They made Gina sit in the hard plastic waiting room chairs while they ran tests.

And then when they found out she wasn’t a blood relative, they kept her outside, in the dark, too busy with the work of saving lives to spare a moment for compassion. A tricky equation Gina would try to balance again and again in the days and weeks and months and years to come.

Gina clung to hope that Siobhan would wake up, make the nurses let her visit. But hours passed, and someone called Siobhan’s family – the one she’d run to San Fransisco to get away from. And Gina found herself being shouted at by a red-headed woman she’d never met, calling her all sorts of slurs that Gina was too shocked to absorb. Blaming her influence for the state Siobhan was in.

And then rough hands grabbed hold of her and dragged her out the doors, dumping her onto the sidewalk.

Gina hadn’t brought her purse with her on the ambulance so she couldn’t pay for a cab.

She walked home.

The sun didn’t even have the courtesy to hide behind the clouds.

Rain would’ve suited her mood better. Would’ve hidden the tears that streaked down her cheeks. Would’ve given her a logical explanation for the chill that rooted itself in her bones.

When she got home, the kitchen was still a mess from Siobhan’s pancake efforts, so Gina started cleaning. And once the dishes were washed and dried and put away and the counters scrubbed down and the floors swept and mopped, Gina couldn’t stand the idea of sitting still and so she kept cleaning.

Room by room.

She chased every cobweb and dust bunny away.

The house would be spotless for when Siobhan came home from the hospital. Clean sheets, soft fluffy pillows, fresh soap in the powder room.

And when the house was worthy of a spread in a glossy magazine, Gina stumbled outside and pulled weeds until her hands bled.

2025

Gina hissed as a thorn scraped her wrist below the protection of her thick canvas gardening gloves.

She examined the scratch: not deep enough to draw blood, but she should probably go inside and rinse it off. There were all sorts of nasties lurking on rose thorns that she didn’t want to risk introducing to her blood stream.

“Gina? Is everything okay?”

Gina had been so focused on burying her feelings that she hadn’t even heard Veronica’s car pull up or the car door slam when Veronica exited. She looked up at her sister-in-law with surprise. “I—” Gina began, searching for some way to brush things off and failing. She shook her head. “Seeing Thomas in the hospital brought up memories of when Siobhan died,” she said.

“Siobhan was your roommate, right?” said Veronica, who hadn’t joined the family until a year after Siobhan’s death. “Your best friend?”

Gina nodded, too tired and emotionally wrung out to even think about coming out to Veronica right now. “That day was the worst day of my life,” she said, which was reasonable enough. Anyone would be scarred by finding their best friend and roommate collapsed in the shower only to have them die shortly after. That was scarring even without romance tangling the situation. But Veronica wasn’t here to listen to Gina unload her past traumas, she was here to conduct a risk assessment on a wedding invitation.

Gina invited Veronica inside, and Evan and Thomas (mostly Evan, given that Thomas was only partially coherent due to the painkillers) laid out the dilemma. “We’d really like to have you and Noah and Simone at the wedding,” said Evan. “But we wanted to know if it’d be safe to invite you.”

Gina half expected Veronica to protest and say that of course it would be safe, but instead her sister-in-law heaved a sigh. “I can’t guarantee that Jonny won’t lose his temper if he finds out we’re invited,” she said. “He might try to crash the wedding, too. I wouldn’t want you to risk that for me.”

Thomas sucked in a sharp breath, eyes wide as though picturing his father showing up to his wedding uninvited and making a scene.

Gina could picture it as well and it would probably seem tame compared to what her brother had done at their mother’s wake. Vindictive as Jonathan was, he’d probably pull out all the stops to derail his most reviled son’s wedding. Gina recalled a story they’d run in the paper about the trend of swatting, and she could picture her brother doing something like that to Thomas, if he knew what swatting was. She wouldn’t put it past her brother.

“I mean, I could probably ask Athena about having a patrol car stationed outside the wedding to keep an eye out for him,” said Evan. “We’re saving enough of the wedding budget by not needing to pay for the venue, cake, or catering that we could probably afford to bring in security if we need to.

“You don’t have to go through all that trouble,” said Veronica.

“You’re family,” said Thomas, definitively. And it amazed Gina how the closed off teen she’d known all those years ago had reached a point in his life where he was able to open his heart and his home to a virtual stranger, like his stepmother. Maybe it was Evan’s influence. “You and Noah and Simone are family even if I haven’t been there for you.” For all Thomas had changed, it seemed like he hadn’t gotten over his habit of trying to shoulder responsibilities that weren’t his to begin with.

Veronica’s expression slipped from somewhat fearful to fond. “Tommy, you don’t need to feel guilty about that,” she said. “I’d heard the rumours about how your dad treated your mom, and I chose not to believe them.” She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know if you remember, but my family situation was…not great. And then your dad started paying me all this positive attention and I’d never been treated that way before and I just wanted to feel special. By the time I realised the kind of person he really was, it was too late. I was pregnant and I was scared of what he’d do if I tried to leave, and I couldn’t afford to raise a baby on my own. And he’s not all bad all the time. Sometimes, he’s really sweet.” Veronica shrugged, spreading her hands wide. “And maybe that’s got to be good enough. I don’t have anywhere else to go. My parents would just tell me to suck it up and stay with him. He knows all my friends. All the cops in this town are on his side.” She shook her head.

Gina reached out and took Veronica’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze that only slightly twinged her knuckles. “If you ever need my help, I’m here for you,” she said.

“We could help,” said Evan. “You work in aged care, right?”

Veronica nodded.

“I have a friend who’s a home health care worker, she could probably help you find a job in LA,” said Evan. “My boss’s wife is a police sergeant; she could help you file a restraining order. And my sister’s ex was abusive. If you need someone to talk to, I’m sure Maddie would be up for it.” He was so unflinchingly earnest in each offer that Gina felt her already considerable fondness for the young man increase exponentially.

Veronica smiled. “That’s really sweet of you to offer,” she said. “But I can’t just pull Simone out of school and move her away from her dad and her friends.”

“What if he does something to her?” Thomas asked. “I know you think she’s safe for now but what if something happens and he turns on her?”

Veronica flinched. “He wouldn’t do that.”

“He’s done it before,” said Thomas. He sighed. “Just think about it. We’re here for you if you need anything.”

Veronica nodded. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ll think about the wedding. How about you send our invitation to Gina, and I’ll see if I can come up with a plan to get us down to LA for a weekend.” She left not long after.

“I hope she reaches out if she needs help,” said Evan. “I know Maddie thought she could take care of everything herself when she was with Doug.”

“We’ll have to wait and see,” said Gina. “But we can’t push her, or else we’ll risk her pushing us away and then she’ll be truly alone.”

The next morning, Gina was debating whether she wanted to take another day off from work (she still felt raw from all the emotions seeing Thomas in the hospital had stirred up like silt from a disturbed lake bed), when she got a call.

“Gina, it’s Athena Grant is this a good time?” the police sergeant asked in that no nonsense way that had so appealed to Gina.

“Did you find out what happened to Siobhan?” Gina asked, figuring there was only one reason why the other woman would call her.

“I did,” said Athena. “I found her death certificate and I figured out where she’s buried.”

Gina’s heart caught in her throat, audibly enough that Evan looked up from where he was preparing coffee to take to Thomas in bed. He raised a questioning eyebrow and Gina put the phone on the counter and switched it to speaker. “Where is Siobhan buried?” she asked, voice shaking.

“I’ll send through the details if you give me your email,” said Athena. “It’s not far from where you are.”

“Thank you,” Gina managed to say, fighting against the emotion clogging her throat. “You can’t know what this means.”

“I know what it’s like to have someone you love taken from you too soon,” said Athena. “I’m only glad I was able to help you find her, even if it is twenty years too late.”

Gina managed to tell Athena her email address and hang up the phone before bursting into tears. She’d always been the kind of person to isolate herself in times of grief, but having Evan there to scoop her up into his sturdy arms before her knees gave out was a comfort she hadn’t known she craved.

He let her weep as he rubbed soothing circles over her back and maybe it was easier to show him her weaknesses because she’d never had to be strong for him. She’d never had to take care of him or blow his snotty noses or help him hide from the world. She could just let herself grieve without fear of damaging his perception of her.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Evan asked once she’d finished crying and had pulled the location of Siobhan’s grave up on her phone.

Gina’s first instinct was to say no, but she stopped herself. Would it be so very wrong to not be alone? She’d spent twenty years alone in her grief, maybe it was time to let someone help her carry it. She nodded.

It was a struggle to convince Thomas to stay behind and rest, but between Gina and Evan they managed to get him to stay on the sofa and promise not to leave until they got back from the cemetery.

It was about a half hour drive during which Evan did all the talking, recounting the history of body snatching that he’d learned from a podcast he’d listened to recently. Gina barely paid any attention, but it didn’t seem like Evan minded all that much. He was just talking to fill the silence and Gina was glad of that, because she wasn’t sure she’d know what to do with silence just now.

After half an hour, Evan pulled into the cemetery parking lot. Gina waited by the car with a bouquet of sunflowers Evan had thought to pick up on the way (which had been so sweet and thoughtful that Gina had found herself crying yet again) while Evan went to check the map so they could find Siobhan’s grave.

Gina leaned on Evan as they walked through the rows of headstones and past ornate mausoleums and angel statues until they came to a simple granite headstone that read:

Siobhan O’Rielly 1973 – 2006 Beloved Daughter and Sister

Gina hadn’t expected to be featured on Siobhan’s headstone given how very religious and homophobic her parents had been, but to be faced with it in literal stone drove home just how completely Siobhan’s parents had ripped them apart.

“Are you okay?” Evan asked.

Gina shook her head as she laid the sunflowers on Siobhan’s grave. “She wanted to be cremated,” she said. “And she hated her parents. They couldn’t even respect her wishes in death.”

Gina sighed. At least she wasn’t crying anymore. “They didn’t even have the decency to tell me that she’d died,” she said. “I found out from a friend who worked at the hospital morgue. She called to give me her condolences.”

“That’s awful,” said Evan. “I can’t imagine that happening with me and Tommy.”

“It still happens sometimes,” said Gina. “That’s why I was so insistent upon you and Thomas binding yourselves to each other legally, so that what happened to me will never happen to either of you.”

“Tommy was really scared that his dad would show up to the hospital,” said Evan.

“Thank goodness for my brother insisting on maintaining a landline, I suppose,” said Gina.

“Yeah,” said Evan.

They stayed quiet for a long while, Gina staring at Siobhan’s carved name, trying to conjure some sense of closeness to the woman she’d loved from the headstone, but all she felt was a hollow in her breast and a chill. There was nothing of Siobhan’s presence here. None of her warmth, her exuberance, her spontaneity. “She’s not here,” she said.

“What do you mean?” Evan asked.

“I thought I’d come here and feel some sort of closeness, get a sense of closure but this,” she gestured to the sterile tombstone, “is so far from what she would’ve wanted. It’s not her.” Gina sighed, a realisation coming over her. “I’ve spent so long focused on the things that were taken from me that forgot to cherish what I have left.”

“What’s that?” Evan asked.

“My memories of her,” she said. “And the knowledge that no matter what happened, I got to love her, I got to truly know her, and no one can ever take those things away from me.”

“Here.” Evan reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small flag with orange, pink, and white stripes. “It was a queer friendly florist. I thought this might come in handy.”

Gina grinned at the lesbian flag in Evan’s hand and took it. Kneeling, she stuck it in the ground next to Siobhan’s headstone. Evan helped her to stand, and Gina took in the grave again. “Better,” she said. And then she turned to Evan. “Do you know anything about online dating?” she asked.

Evan actually blushed. “Um, yeah,” he said. “Why?”

“My friend Tabitha’s been bugging me for years about putting myself back out there,” she said. “I think maybe it’s time.”

#bucktommy #tevan #bucktommy fic #tommy kinard #evan buck buckely #rebuilding burnt bridges #9 1 1 fanfiction #tw homophobia

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jxtina-86 · 2 years ago

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Tell Me When It Kicks In - Part 2

Click here to read Part 1 for context and for Seth/Siobhan's side.

Part 2 from Dean/Becca's POV.

Warning: Language/Smut/Choking

Rating: MA

I wanna talk tonight Until the mornin' light 'Bout how you saved my life You and me see how we are You and me see how we are Talk Tonight, Oasis

Becca's hips move freely under my hands as she grinds against me. Her breasts brush against my face as she reaches above my head, a fist hitting the wall as a moan tears from her throat. The headboard is hard against my back, but I couldn't give a shit, not with the way her pussy is gripping my dick.

She hisses as my mouth closes around a hard nipple, tugging softly at first before my teeth scrape sharply. Looking up, I'm enthralled by the look of ecstasy on her flushed face. She pauses, causing me to groan loudly as she shifts, her legs moving from either side of my thighs until her knees brush against the sides of my torso.

“Fuck...” she whimpers, her nails scrapping against the headboard as she grips hard and starts to bounce once again.

My hands slide under her ass, spreading her cheeks and making her whine as she slams herself down on my length.

“Becca...” My eyes are squeezed shut, determined to hold off my own climax until she reaches hers.

“Go on,” she urges, her hands dropping to my shoulders as she takes me in deep, twisting slowly.

I growl in response, my fingers digging in hard as I force her back to moving up and down, where I can control my own desires and not give in.

“Dean, oh...” She tightens around me, her head rocking back as I latch back onto her breast, biting softly as her orgasm rips through her, my name lost in a harsh sob.

I'm quick to flip her, pushing her into the mattress, pulling her legs around my waist as I thrust into her. Her back arches in response, my hand coming up to push the hair from her face and she murmurs softly.

“Do it...”

My hand slips to her throat, squeezing gently as her eyes flutter closed and her body tenses in response. Her hands drop above her head and she smiles softly as I reach for them with my free hand, pinning her down as I squeeze again, my hips jack-hammering against her.

She gasps as I release her throat, my head dropping down to kiss away the faint red marks from my fingers. I'm so fucking close, her hot breath on my ear, her soft murmurings as I tighten my hold around her wrists and slam into her one final time.

I collapse against her, panting from exhaustion, my head spinning. Her fingers slide softly through my hair, her lips pressing against my forehead as I pull out of her and ease her legs from around my waist.

But she won't let me roll away, not yet anyway. We collect our breath, our bodies pressed together, almost sealed from sweat and who knows what else.

It's been carnage since we entered the room, pressing her against the door, tugging her shirt over her head, biting her nipples through her bra. Watching her sink to her knees in her tight leather skirt and drawing out my dick. She let me fuck her mouth, my hand cupping the back of her head as she held my gaze, her lips stretched around me, before I pulled back and unloaded with a grunt on her face.

My anniversary gift, she informed with a grin beforehand. A belated one, she told me as she unzipped me.

Thanks to schedules, we're a few weeks late to celebrate, but fuck... It was worth the wait.

Hence my grumbling at dinner. Well, before the big announcement anyway. Becca knew I was pissed at the thought of spending the evening with others, rather than just her, but even on the way back to the hotel, I had to admit it was worth it.

It felt odd at first. It felt like only yesterday we were sat in that bar, bullshitting our way through an evening when Lex and Siobhan strolled in through the door. Thinking about it, Seth and I seem to have been through every milestone with them – first and second encounters, moving in, exchanging vows.

And now this. Despite his recent cheerful mood, I hadn't put two and two together. I was vaguely aware of what was going on between the pair over the last few months. Travelling together means overhearing conversations that should have remained private. But I wasn't about to spill the beans. I kept my mouth shut, not even telling Becca what I'd heard. I played dumb, refusing to pry into his and Lex's business. There were times where I wanted to tell him that I had figured out what was behind his sullen moods, especially when they lasted for hours on the road. But what could I say?

I know fuck all about that stuff. There was nothing I could say that would make it any better. So I stayed quiet.

Becca nudges me softly. “I need to pee.”

I groan as I roll off her, watching as she sits up and stretches slowly before moving off the bed towards the bathroom.

“Did your high-school girlfriend's dad really drag you from the car when you were making out?” she calls out to me over the sound of running water.

“Yup. Threatened to castrate me there and then too,” I chuckle as her head pokes around the door. “Your dad never threaten any boys?”

She shakes her head. “I never took them home,” she grins. “Only girl in the family, remember? No boy was going to stand a chance against my older brothers.”

“So you played innocent, huh?”

She nods, approaching the bed. “I'm pretty sure they and my dad still think I'm a virgin.” I snort loudly in response and she raises an eyebrow. “You saying I'm not innocent, Ambrose?”

“You're anything but, darlin',” I grin, pulling her against me, my lips finding the back of her neck.

“I'm sure you'd want to believe the same if it was our daughter,” she murmurs. I barely notice how she freezes in my arms, too busy wondering why a niggle of excitement is building in my stomach, my lips twitching into a small grin.

“Shit,” Becca is mumbling. “I didn't mean...”

“Huh?”

She twists in my arms, her forehead creased in worry. “I meant hypothetically.”

“What's hypothetical?”

“A.. A family,” she stammers. “It just slipped out, I didn't mean... Fuck.”

“You want one?”

Her eyes narrow slightly. “Are you asking hypothetically?”

“I'm just asking.”

“Maybe.”

I nod slowly. “With me?”

“Dean... I...” But I press my finger to her lips.

“With me?” I repeat, slowly easing my finger away so she can answer.

“Maybe,” she whispers, her cheeks flushing.

I chew my lip, letting her solitary word wash over me.

Maybe.

Definitely not a no. Halfway to a yes.

“I didn't mean to ruin tonight.” She's slipping from my arms, pushing away the covers, her back to me. “I'm such an idiot.”

She rises before I can make a move, heading back to the bathroom, swiping a shirt from her suitcase in the process. The bathroom door slams behind her.

Fuck.

So maybe that wasn't the best response I could have given her. To be honest, it was probably the worst. But I was too busy thinking about the fact that she'd thought about that being a possibility. With me no less.

Me.

She is beyond perfect. Too fucking perfect. Too good for me. She's beautiful, both inside and out and I love every part of her in equal measure. But I sometimes wonder why. Why she puts up with me, why she wants a relationship with a guy who can't be there for her all the time. I wonder how she envisions this going forward, when she wants more and I can't give it to her for whatever reason. I mean, I know I'll try to make her happy, but there might be times where I fail to meet that standard and what then? What's to stop her from tossing in the towel and removing herself from my life? What's to stop her from finding someone who can give her everything she wants and be by her side at all times?

My mind has a tendency to wander whilst I'm driving. I have a habit of thinking of the worst case scenarios and watching them play out in minute detail in my mind's eye. I imagine slipping up, making a damning indiscretion. I imagine retreating back to my old self, the Dean who fucked anything with legs. I watch in horror as my actions catch up with me. I imagine coming home and finding she's no longer there as a result.

Being alone never bothered me before. I was happy with a select few close enough to know me almost as well as I know myself. I was guarded, never staying with one person to let my emotions get the better of me.

And then Becca turned up, all five-foot-something of blonde, brown-eyed teasing fun. I let her in and I have no regrets whatsoever. She's been the best thing that's ever happened to me, guiding me through the past year with ease, even though it was really a case of the blind leading the blind. She makes me realise that I can do this, but at the same time, I worry that one day my hand will slip from hers and I'll fall.

I don't want to be alone anymore. I can't go back to that, not now I know what it feels like to be wanted and loved and to want and love back. I never thought that anyone could truly care for me, truly miss me. I never thought that I could truly care for someone other than myself. I never thought for a second that I could miss a woman for more than one reason.

I curse under my breath, staring at the closed door. All that and what do I do? I slip and fall.

I made her confess something and then said nothing at all.

Fuck.

But it wasn't for the reasons that she obviously thinks.

No, instead of feeling the emotions that I had expected, I was caught up in the unnerving warmth that started to spread through me. I was too busy thinking about what it might feel like to be in Roman and Lex's position. I was too fascinated by the idea of Becca thinking the same. Too preoccupied to smile and tell her that the thought had crossed my mind, maybe even more than once.

Because that's what you do when you're in love, right? You think about these things. I mean, I know we're years away from any of that, but we can still about it, surely?

It's a natural progression... Right?

Or... Maybe not. Maybe you're not supposed to. Maybe you're supposed to take things slow, think things through in order. And maybe that's why Becca is currently stood on the other side of that door.

We don't even live together for one thing. Even thought we do seem to spend an equal amount of time in each other's apartments. Her key is firmly fastened to my own bunch and vice versa. Sometimes I just head straight to hers when I'm home, not even bothering to dump my laundry at my own place. I'm on first name terms with Becca's elderly neighbour, having helped her climb the stairs on more than one occasion. And Becca? Well, she's recognised more than me in the coffee shop on my block, her order already being called out by one of the baristas, the second she walks through the door.

But it's not like I haven't thought about it. Living together. Like I said, a lot of time on the road leads to these thoughts working their way around my brain, like an endless game of Snake. With each twist and turn, they grow bigger, bolder. It started out innocently enough, a viewing of an apartment in a complex a few blocks away. A definite step up from my current place with its balcony and floor to ceiling to windows to enhance the view further. I'd absentmindedly mentioned it to Becca, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of lazy days at mine, spending them lounging on the sun-trapped, yet surprisingly private balcony.

Her delight had led my brain down a path which lured me further and further along without even realising. Until it was too late. I imagined coming home to our apartment. To opening the door and instantly seeing her stuff mixed in with mine. With every viewing of the apartment, I started to wonder what it would be like to come home and see her lounging on our couch, sleeping in our bed, standing on our balcony, eating in our kitchen, showering in our bathroom. It was the simple things that got to me, that spurred me on.

Was it too much to want that? Was it too soon to want that and more?

The old part of my brain screamed at the stupidity. What a dumb fucking idea, it muttered incessantly. But I was determined to ignore old me. Old me only cared about me. And I wasn't old me anymore.

Not that new me was charging ahead. No, new me was still hesitant. But only because I didn't want to move to fast for her. I've spent hours debating how to approach the subject, yet still haven't had the balls to breathe a word. Even when I signed the papers on the apartment last week, my initial idea to tell her tonight, I lost my fucking nerve.

That and just as I was about to tell her, she'd kissed me, her hand slipping between us to rub teasingly at my dick. I decide that it was best to leave it. I didn't want to spoil the moment.

Although that didn't go quite to plan in the end. I scrape a hand over my face and push back the sheets. Reaching to the floor, I pick up my boxers, standing as I pull them up.

I cross the room and tap gently on the bathroom door. “Becca?”

Silence.

I try the handle and it gives way easily. I push the door open slowly, peering around. My eyes meet hers through the mirror. They're red and puffy and I feel myself crumple.

“Becca...” I move inside, closer, reaching for her. “Why are you crying?”

“I'm not,” she sniffs, her arm moving out of reach.

“Why are you hiding in here?”

“I'm not.”

I frown, unsure where to go next and then sigh quietly. “Was it something I... I didn't say?”

“I shouldn't have said anything,” she says adamantly, her hand scrunching up a tissue. “Forget about it.”

“No.”

“I didn't mean it.”

“Mean what?” I step closer and this time she doesn't move away from me. My hand circles her wrist. “You mean you don't want a family with me?”

She looks away.

“Do you think I'm mad at you?” I ask, my hand slipping into hers, pulling her towards me.

“I don't know.”

“Because I'm not.”

“You should be.”

I stare at her through the mirror, my other hand coming up to cup her face, turning her gaze towards the mirror, forcing her to meet my eye in the reflection. “Why would I be mad when the woman I love tells me she sees a future with me?”

Her face softens ever so slightly, but her voice is still firm when she answers. “It's too soon.”

“Maybe. But I don't care about that,” I say softly as I curl my arm around her waist, moving behind her to rest my chin on her shoulder.

“It's silly though. We don't even live together.”

I grin over her shoulder, the words building up inside me. But now is not the time or place. I choose more carefully instead. “So if we did live together, you'd be more happy to think about these things?”

A smile tugs at her lips and relief washes over me. “Still too soon. It was just tonight. Seeing Lex and Roman all happy. Made me wonder what it would be like to be in their situation.”

“You ever thought about having kids before?” I murmur, my lips brushing over her shoulder.

She shrugs. “I guess. One day. You?”

“I dunno. Reckon I need to stop being a kid myself first.”

Becca chuckles softly. “You're not a kid, Dean.”

“Fine, a more responsible adult then.”

“You're better at it than you think,” she turns in my arms. “I thought you'd freak.”

“Why?”

“One minute you're nutting on my face, choking me on demand. The next I'm talking shit about an imaginary child.”

I press my lips to her forehead. “Kinda one of the same thing, don't you think?”

She pulls back with a puzzled frown. “Explain that logic to me.”

“Trust,” I tell her. “The stuff we do in there,” I jerk my thumb towards the bedroom. “That ain't just about what I do to your body. You gotta trust someone up here too.” I press my lips to her forehead.

“Your point being?”

“I know how much you trust me with all that, Becca. And I'm not a jerk. I'm not going to fuck with your mind and make out that the crazy shit we do in bed means nothing outside of it. You have no idea how it makes me feel when you place that faith in me. I'm not going to mess with that. Not in there, not here. Especially not with this.”

My nose rubs against hers as I lower my mouth to her soft lips.

“I think about it too,” I murmur as we pull back.

“About what?”

“Us.” More than you realise.

“Does it scare you?”

“Sometimes,” I confess. “Becca, I dunno what I'm doing half the time. The only place I used to feel fully in control was in the ring. Outside of that I was a mess.”

“Was?”

I chuckle. “You implying I still am?” I toy with a loose strand of hair that grazes her cheek, shaking my head before lowering my mouth to her ear, grinning at my reflection as I watch her visibly shiver as my breath hits her sensitive lobe. “Truth is, darlin', I'm less of a mess because of you.”

“Dean...”

“You make me a better person, Becca. Why the hell would I want to do anything to change that?”

She pulls back, her cheeks flushing as she chews her lip. “You really see me that way?”

“How do you think I see you?”

“I don't know...” she admits. “I try not to think ahead. I try not to think about what's going to happen next month, I try to focus just on when I see you next. But sometimes I can't help myself. I've never... I've never felt that way about anyone, Dean. I've never seen a future with anyone and that's–”

“Terrifying?” I suggest. Hell, it's how I feel right now. Once again, the words are there. Right there, willing me to take them.

“Yeah... Terrifying. But not just that.” She pauses, searching for the right word. “It's terrifying but kind of exciting.”

The feelings that took over my ability to speak earlier are back. But I don't need words. I squeeze her tightly, nodding in agreement as I kiss her again. And again.

Fuck the rules. Fuck doing this the right way. Fuck boring ass sex and conventional anniversary gifts.

“Becca...” I breathe against her mouth. “I...”

“Ssh,” she tells me, her hand slipping to mine, pulling me back to the bedroom. “No more talking.”

And despite my better judgment, I keep my mouth shut.

---

One week later

I stifle a yawn as I make way out into the arrivals hall, my neck cracking from built up tension caused by plane seats that weren't met for those over six foot.

“Dean!”

I squeeze my eyes shut at the sound of my name. I don't need this. Not now. Not with my bed calling me. But I turn anyway, prepared to plaster on a half-assed smile at the very most.

My eyes widen when I see Becca.

“Surprise,” she grins, two coffees in hand.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were out of town this week.” I reach for her, pulling her against my side as she tries to keep the coffee cups steady. I breathe in her familiar fragrance, my lips finding the top of her head.

“Change of plans. I took some vacation days instead. To make up for our non-existent anniversary celebration.”

“I thought we celebrated last week,” I say as she hands me one of the cups.

“Doesn't count. It was barely 12 hours,” she tells me as we head to the exit. “This time you got me for 48.” She casts me a sly look. “Imagine what we can do this time...”

We pause to cross the over the drop-off zone and I take the opportunity to pull her against me once again. “You think you can handle that, darlin'?”

“I've been warming up,” she whispers back causing me to groan.

“Fuck, Becca...”

She giggles, stepping in front of me as we cross and head for the parking lot.

She chats animatedly as we head back into the city. I sip my coffee and listen, her voice comforting. Her car is warm, familiar, the radio tuned into whatever she's decided she likes best this week.

I'm on the verge of falling asleep once again when the car slows to a halt.

“Hey,” she murmurs, her fingers fluttering over my forehead. “You're exhausted, babe.”

“I'm good,” I promise, shaking my head and blinking furiously. I realise that we're outside her apartment block rather than mine.

“Do you want to go back to yours?” she asks. “We can meet up later if you want to get some sleep?”

But I shake my head again. “Nah, I always sleep better here anyway.”

A small smile. “I like that you do.”

“Yeah?”

She unbuckles her seatbelt and shifts closer, leaning across the central console to kiss my cheek. “I'll get your stuff. Go to bed.”

I'm too tired to argue, rustling the keys from my backpack as I head up the steps to the entrance. I barely remember getting through the apartment door, making my way across her lounge and into her bedroom, before face-planting onto her bed.

---

Cool fingers stroke the back of my neck and I twist slowly to find their source. Becca's soft brown eyes meet mine, her body curled against me.

“What time is it?” I ask, my voice rough with sleep.

“Just after midday,” she tells me, her fingers still stroking.

“I'm sorry.”

“What for?”

“You took time off work and all I do is sleep.”

She chuckles. “I don't mind. I quite like listening to your snoring.”

“You're weird, you know that?” I roll onto my side to face her properly.

“You don't think it's weird that you now sleep better here than at your place?” she counters with a raised eyebrow.

I shrug against the sheets. “Maybe.”

That word again.

She eyes me carefully. “Dean...” she starts, before trailing off.

“What?”

“I've been thinking about last week.”

“What about last week?”

“In the hotel. What we talked about.”

I nod slowly. I wondered when this was going to come up again. The moment I kissed her goodbye the following morning, I regretted keeping silent. The question had been on the tip of my tongue once again, but there was barely enough time for breakfast before her flight home, let alone a loaded question about where our relationship was moving.

“I mean, we talked about a lot of stuff. About us, I mean.”

“I remember,” I encourage.

“You asked me if it would be easier to think about those things if we lived together.”

“I did.” My heart picks up pace, thudding brazenly against my chest as she ponders her next words.

“I don't know if it would make it easier...”

I swallow hard. Maybe old me was right. Shit. Fuck.

“But I'd like to give it a go.”

My breath catches in my throat, my voice croaking as I speak. “Give it a go?”

“Living together,” she whispers. “Like properly. Well, not properly as we'll still only see each other when we can, but y'know, not just have keys to each others places. Have... Have our own place. Together.”

“Together,” I echo.

“If... If you want to as well.” Her voice drops lower, her eyes darting away and I scramble to find the right words to stop a repeat of last week. Words that I imagined her saying rather than me, but words that fill me with excitement nevertheless.

“I want to.”

Her gaze rises slowly. “Really?”

“Really,” I affirm.

“I don't mind where,” she murmurs. “Here, your place. Wherever you want.”

I curl my arms around her and roll onto my back, taking her with me. She settles above me, her legs sliding alongside my waist and thighs.

“How about neither?” I ask, a smirk tugging at my lips.

She looks at me, confused. “What do you mean?”

“How about somewhere new?”

“New? Dean, I'm not suggesting we buy–”

“Neither am I.”

She frowns. “Dean...”

“That apartment I told you about.”

Her frown deepens for a second and then: “You mean–”

“Yeah,” I grin, as realisation dawns on her face. “The one I showed you a while back.”

“With those floor to ceiling windows and that balcony?”

“That's the one.”

“And you want to move in there with me?”

“If you want to.” I smile. “I kind of already signed for it...”

“What?”

“It was kind of my anniversary gift to you,” I confess.

“The apartment or asking me to move in with you?”

“Well, you kinda beat me to the latter,” I chuckle and she blushes. “And the former seems a little forw–”

“It's not.”

I give her a curious look. “I think most people would beg to differ.”

“We're aren't 'most people,'” she whispers.

True.

“So is that a yes?” I ask with a smirk. But she doesn't reply. Instead, her mouth crashes against mine in a blistering kiss.

“Yes,” she breathes against my lips as she draws back and then blushes.

“What?” I stroke her cheek with my thumb.

“Kinda makes my 'gift' seem pretty inadequate now,” she tells me.

“Never,” I hold her gaze firmly.

“I let you face-fuck me,” she whines with a giggle. “That definitely pales in comparison to this.”

“You forget what else we talked about last week?”

“No...”

“So?” I prompt.

“I trust you, you trust me,” she tells me.

“Exactly. And was that?”

“Trust.”

“And what's trust?”

She shrugs her shoulders.

“Everything, darlin'” I pull mouth back to mine. “Everything.”

Fin x

#deanambrose #dean ambrose fanfic #dean ambrose fanfiction #dean ambrose imagine #dean ambrose #dean ambrose smut #jon moxley imagine #jon moxley fanfiction #jon moxley #jon moxely #jon moxley smut

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renslo161605 · 2 years ago

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Dermot MacBrian

Dermot MacBrian is an O'Driscoll from a red dead fan comic I'm making.

Born in Ireland to unknown parents, he was raised in a poor household. He was far from an obedient child and ofen refused to do work or take on a job. When he was in his early 20s both his parents died within a few months of eachother. He resorted to petty crimes that amassed across ireland leading many counties law after him. In an effort to escape he hid on a boat he thought was going to scotland, instead, he ended up in America. Where he continued his petty crime, joining random posses and gangs. Around the age of 30 he met a lady named Nancy Redwood, who years later he had a child with. Nancy got tired of Dermots 'childish' habits and petty crime before kicking him out the house. Dermot still visited his Daughter, Siobhan fairly often, baring gifts and money. When Dermot was 40 he entered a gang known as the O'Driscolls, he stayed in this gang for a long time. Around 5 years in, the leader of the gang brought in a newly orphaned boy whom he didn't even k now the name of. Dermot mentored the 10 year old boy, learning his name to be Isaac Morgan.

Yes that is Arthurs son, the comic is on my blog it will have more info if you'd like to read it B)

Hope you like :) sorry the quality looks like ass idrk why it looks like that. My reference was Sean Maguires official art. The art style is obviously in the style of the official art B)

#red dead redemption 2 #red dead #rdr oc #isaac morgan #arthur morgan #fanfic #rdr fanart #rdr fanfiction #comics #art #rdr2 fanart #dermot macbrian

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beardedbarba · 2 years ago

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KICK HIS ASS SIOBHAN

#Succession (HBO)#Succession S1 #Succession 1x02

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overheard-on-base · 4 months ago

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I've never met anything more stupid that him.

Other Carl specials include:

"What color is the Pink Panther?"

"Whales are fish, right?"

A whole fight strategy that featured Batman just standing there and letting him set up

"What's the difference between a monkey and an ape?"

"No, see, Deathstroke and I are close, we're buddies" with his arm wrapped around Deathstroke's shoulders. I've neved seen that amount of self restraint from him (Deathstoke) before it was honestly commendable

"I could beat the Knight in a foot race. Look at him, he's tiny." proceeded to get left in the dust

"Why can't Melissa (below the knee amputee in our unit) just regrow her leg?"

Almost used cleaning bleach to dye his hair

And the one that got him kicked half way to heaven by Siobhan: "I don't understand why girls use tampons, just say you have no bladder control or hold it in, it's not that big of a deal." (Truly, her foot went so far up his ass, it was like Mary Poppins' bag was in there and it was eating Siobhan's foot. She's a brute, easily one of the biggest people on base, maybe third or forth tallest.)

PISSING LAUGHING ON MY GOD WHAT. DID THESE PEOPLE HAVE AN EDUCATION!?!?!?!

what IS high schools teaching these kids!?!? One of the young foot soilders i vibe with during breaks SO SERIOUSLY ASKED ME.

"If youre choking why dont you just breath through your nose"

LMFAO!?!?!? WHAT?????

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elisabettasims · 7 years ago

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Blind date #25 - Part 2

And we are officially at the halfway mark. Whoo!

#Sims 4 #TS4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 city living #Siobhan Collins #50 blind dates #jenba #Maristella #rufus lynch #mdianasanders #she kicked his ass

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vacantgodling · 2 years ago

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sneaking out

wip: lukewarm rejection

character(s): aidan "di" absyna (before he started going by di), amiya abada, maverick loverde, mentions of di's family (father sullivan, mother & younger sibling siobhan)

after amiya convinces aidan to sneak out and come to his first house party, he meets someone that's going to change his life forever (for better, mostly worse).

warnings: none really; just some flirtateousness at the end & descriptions of dance-grinding lmao

After making sure both parents and Siobhan were asleep, Aidan crept out into the garage. It’d taken a lot of strings pulled behind the scenes to even get to the point that he could sneak out, and he was so close that he couldn’t bear to fuck this up now. He surveyed the three cars before him: his own banged up jeep, his mother’s modest minivan, and the new black convertible that his father hardly let him breathe on since he brought it home a few weeks ago. Aidan fished in his pocket for the keys he’d swiped earlier that evening, the keys to that sleek Chevrolet. Sullivan Absyna was a predictable man; a man of habit, unsurprising for his near 60 years of age and his stern insistence on rules, regulations, tradition and most importantly order. He left his keys on the entryway table in a small little faded dish that Sio made for him at church camp when she was 6. There were tiny little plastic rocks and stones, with a crookedly drawn cross etched into the center by an untrained hand. It was easy enough to take them, when his father turned in for the night. Easy enough to hide them, when his mother did her final once over before she too went up.

Bedtime was strictly observed at 10pm. It was since Aidan hit high school, and no amount of wheedling his father for leniency on his school projects did he budge. It’d made him organized—perhaps to the point of rigidity. But it leant to this surprising ease of this operation. He’d become a planner, through and through, even if he needed a kick in the ass from his best friend Amiya to actually get around to doing it. Aidan had never snuck out before. He was the kind, well-mannered, goody-two-shoes vet student that his parents wanted (though he had to really win them over on being a vet). Still, his friend argued that he should live a little, and… maybe there was some part of him that agreed.

He took in a shaking breath when he started the car, after pulling the door carefully shut. He held his breath. And thank god that the purr of the new engine was hardly louder than a yawn. The house remained as silent as a tomb.

The last hurdle before Aidan truly won his freedom was the garage door. He was terrified that its opening would wake up one of their three dogs, but the new system Sullivan installed held true to its word; no sound, no spectacle. He backed out of the driveway slowly, with the headlights off until he reached the beginning of the alley where their mailbox was. Then, he finally turned the headlights on. If he could just make it out of the neighborhood proper, he’ll be scot-free.

An agonizing 3 minutes of 5mph later, he slowed to a stop at the beginning of the neighborhood near the cheerful brick sign that read Briscola: A Family Community. Where people talked. But he didn’t see not a single light flicker on as he drove down the winding road, not a single rustle or inkling that he’d been caught in his midnight flight… Aidan was starting to breathe a bit easier. He fished his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans, pressing 7.

Amiya answered on the first ring.

“Miya?” Aidan whispered.

“Why are you whispering? Are you still in the house?” She didn’t sound too worried, but the background was surprisingly quiet for a house party.

“If I was in the house, I would’ve just gotten myself grounded. You know my folks.”

“Room at 10, phones off by 11—god its insane with them isn’t it?” Miya giggled. “But I assume since you’re talking to me you made it out?”

“Yeah.” Aidan sighed loudly and Amiya cheered over the phone, tinny and excited. It made him smile despite the few remaining claws of anxiety in his gut. “I’ll send you the address! But its pretty much just a straight shot off Route 5, if you can get there from your house?”

“I know the way.” It was near his part-time job, from what it sounded like, and he’d been working there since high school—new the whole area by heart now. “I should be there in 15? 20? Probably?”

“What, are you expecting traffic?” Amiya snorted. At almost 1AM, probably not, but Aidan always liked to be cautious. “Get here soon babe, its freezing out here!”

Aidan heard the party before he saw it; in fact, he felt it even before that. The bass alone was thumping down the block when he turned onto the street in Amiya’s directions and the lights coming from the house were reminiscent of an alien invasion in the otherwise darkened neighborhood. How no one had called the cops either yet was beyond him. At a streetlight up ahead, he saw the frame of a short woman with wide hips and curvy bust, propped against it, looking as though she were waiting for something. Aidan rolled the convertible to a stop beside her.

She turned her head, pony tail perfectly bouncing with its curls to the car. Aidan stepped out.

“Danny!” Amiya reached up to tug him down, crushing him into a tight hug. How easily affectionate Amiya was, was still something he was trying to get used to. But it made him smile and he wrapped his arms around her just as tightly.

“Watch my jugular!” He said with a laugh.

“You’re so laaaaaaaate!” Amiya whined, and he could smell the alcohol on her breath. After a beat more she finally released him, then tugged him further into the light to assess his appearance. She tapped her chin, walking around him in a circle; taking in his DIY ripped jeans that they’d made together a few days earlier, the Nirvana shirt that his father (thankfully) didn’t question, and the leather jacket he got as a hand me down from some cousin or another. His hair was messier than he usually let it, all fluff and bedhead, and he hadn’t shaved either, giving him an overall scruffier look than what he was used to. He’d stared at himself long and hard in the mirror before he made his daring escape, and even though it was vastly different than his plain white tees and looser fitting jeans… Somehow he felt like he liked what he saw. The only thing marring the look was the big round glasses shoved onto his face, because he couldn’t see a damn thing without them.

Amiya seemed to agree. She beamed at him brilliantly. “You look good! You rough up nice!”

“You’d tell me if I looked stupid, right?” Amiya only gave him a look, pouting out her lower lip when he didn’t make an amend to his statement. “Of course you look good! You always do babe, you just dress too…” She thought a moment. “Camp counselor-y.” Aidan sighed. “I’ve heard that a lot.”

“This is way better though, I promise you.” She said sincerely. She looped her arm through his, dragging him out of the light and towards the alien beams coming from the last house on the street.

This was it. His first house party.

“No more worrying! Let’s get this party started!”

If he thought the bass from the street was loud, it was nothing in comparison to being in the thick of it. It shook the whole house to the point that when Aidan touched the wall to gain his balance, suddenly blasted with the stench of sweat and the heat of grinding bodies, he could feel a faint vibration there. People were crowded in like sardines; along the couches, the stairs, out even onto what was probably a patio, but the true epicenter of the madness seemed to be the dining room where the bass screamed the loudest. There, people were dancing, or what young, hormone driven young adults considered dancing—gyrating and practically having sex where they stood. Amiya thankfully hadn’t relinquished his arm from her hold and only dragged him further into the madhouse.

They stopped in the kitchen first. There were soda bottles and cups and a bright pink bowl of punch half empty on the main island. That was where Amiya dragged him. Without bothering for a ladle, she grabbed a nearby cup and filled it directly from the bowl, then held it out for Aidan to take. After a jostle, he took it, hesitantly bringing it to his nose for a sniff. The amount of alcohol he smelt swirling in this red solo was probably enough to single-handedly comatose a small child.

“What’s this?” He yelled over the noise. Amiya didn’t answer, and instead made a drinking motion with her hand. He ignored the sirens of his “good boy” brain and downed it, hacking when it went charged like liquid fire down his throat. As far as he knew, he wasn’t a lightweight, but he hadn’t eaten since dinner at 7. The alcohol hit his empty stomach like a freight train, and he instantly started to feel a bit tipsy.

When he was done, Amiya took the cup and dragged it through the bowl to get some for herself. She knocked it back with the ease of a champion, tossing it into a nearby overflowing wastebasket. “You ready to dance?”

“Mi, you know I don’t—”

As usual, she didn’t really wait for him to finish his protest.

Once at the dining room dance floor, the two of them instantly became entangled in a mass of sweaty bodies; pressing, sliding, grinding, touching, sticking—making the air thicker than a swamp in Florida. Sweat instantly began to pool on the back of Aidan’s neck and chest, and while he wasn’t necessarily claustrophobic, there was far too much happening that he wasn’t prepared for to delay the inevitable deer in headlights feeling that surged through his body.

“Danny!” Amiya’s voice in his ear snapped him out of it and she moved in front of him, flowing with the music above and the bodies around them. She reached out and grabbed his hands, putting them on her waist. Aidan gripped her, for safety, and sputtered. “I—You know I can’t dance!”

“That’s okay!” She spun around, pressing her ass against his front, already one with the groove. “Just move with me!”

Following Amiya’s lead was surprisingly easy when he didn’t really have to do anything. She did the work while Aidan simply held her waist to keep her balance and maybe swayed back and forth in time with the beat when he got a little leg room. When she looked over her shoulder with a wide grin on her face, the knot in his chest since he got here finally, finally began to loosen up. Right in time with the full slosh of intoxication that was finally hitting him like a ton of bricks.

By the third song, Aidan was finally having something akin to fun. Amiya spun in his arms and loped her arms around him joyfully. He couldn’t really make out what she was saying but he laughed when she did because it was funny. This whole night was just funny. Here he was, in the middle of a grimy dance floor with his best friend, after he snuck out for the first time in his life and stole his father’s car. This was more bad in one night than Aidan had ever done in his entire life and he was giddy with it.

He wasn’t paying attention when someone sidled up behind Amiya, but he noticed when he felt a hand brush a little too intimately against his waist—which was weird because Amiya’s arms were still on his shoulders. Aidan moved his gaze from Amiya, looked left, then right, then straight ahead to—

“Oh!” Amiya gasped between himself and the stranger. He was taller than Aidan, dark hair gelled back and somehow not sweat out. The alien lights overhead swirled above them, and twinkled in his dark, dreamy eyes. “O-Oh.” Aidan said, more to himself more than anything. Damn. He’d never seen a guy like this before. Amiya looked over her shoulder, and Aidan could tell when she brightened with recognition.

“Maverick! I didn’t know you’d be here tonight!” The hand that rested on Aidan’s hip settled there a bit more firmly, a hand that belonged to this Maverick, and the size of it, the strength—Lord have mercy. Aidan knew he was blushing. It was fogging up his glasses, even worse than the sticky heat already was.

“I didn’t think you’d be here either.” Maverick said with a grin and oh, it was devastating. Aidan’s heart was thumping a bit too fast. The stranger’s eyes flickered back up to catch Aidan’s and they gazed at each other for a minute, a long minute.

“Who’s your friend?” He was asking Amiya, but he hadn’t taken his eyes off Aidan. Aidan watched as he unashamed, dragged his eyes down from his, to trace the exposed collar of his neck and Aidan sucked in a breath so hard he was sure Amiya heard it. No one had ever looked at him like this before either.

“Aidan, my bestie!” Amiya giggled. Maverick decided to join their little party, stepping a bit closer so he could move against Amiya. Unlike Aidan’s more platonic touches, Maverick seemed to know what he was doing—he’d been to one of these before, if he and Amiya’s conversation wasn’t obvious. The hand that wasn’t anchored to Aidan’s side was gripped strongly on Amiya’s hip. She pressed back against him and the smooth line of Maverick’s body followed. His low cut, dark vee top left little to the imagination, a large tattoo seeming to take up some of his left pec and it left Aidan’s throat incredibly dry. “Aidan, this is a… friend of mine, Maverick. Though I usually call him Mavey~”

“You know I love those cute names you make for me, sugar.” Flirting rolled easily off Maverick’s tongue and even if he was flirting with his best friend, somehow in Aidan’s tipsy hazy brain, this didn’t deter him at all. In response, Amiya giggled. “Be gentle with him, Mavey, he’s new! Snuck out just to be here.”

“Ah—well,” Aidan slid his hand away from Amiya’s side to rub against the sweat on the back of his neck. He didn’t want Maverick to think he was lame. “Something like that. It was no big deal.”

“That’s some dedication.” Maverick purred. Over Amiya’s head, he leaned in closer, until his nose was near brushing against Aidan’s. If Aidan was a computer he’d probably have malfunctioned by now. “And how’s the party been, for your first?”

“Better uh…” And dammit, if Aidan was being a bad boy tonight, he would try. “Better since I met you.” His tiny grin and stammered flirt was met with a laviscious grin, one that sent heat down to his very core and bones.

“Good boy,” Maverick purred.

Aidan was well, and truly, fucked.

#s: lukewarm rejection #ren writing

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jq37 · 5 years ago

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 8 Deep Bleu Sea

That Sinking Feeling

Welcome back to A Crown of Candy, the show where you’re forced to come to terms with a possible PC perma-death every single battle episode, no exceptions.

We left our five PCs in an extremely sticky situation last week--on a sinking ship, in open ocean, with two House Bleu ships gunning for them. The only real move here is to abandon ship and commandeer one of the enemy ships to make their escape.

This is one of those eps where a LOT happens in a very short period of time so, rather than a straight play by play, I’m going to make sure you get the mood of the fight along with all the key moments.

Amethar makes for the closest enemy ship while Ruby unhooks the grappling hooks that were going to be used to board their ship. Liam--newly christened war guy--has a HELL of a turn, fully killing one of the enemy ship captains, ignoring the difficult terrain that stymied Amethar to leap to the next boat, and not only can he see in the dark--the ship is largely in darkness--because the enemy pirates are using alchemy to get night vision, Liam is invisible to them. They hear him land on the ship but they can’t see him. Rage is apparently a good look on Liam.

Stilton, on his turn, wastes zero time. He swings over to the crow’s nest of the Colby and, on a Nat 20, runs Primsy through with his sword to the genuine horror of everyone at the table. Primsy drops to death saves instantly but he fails his rolls to strike again, failing to finish her off. Primsy has to make her first death save right away which she fails. Thanks, I hate it. The only silver lining is that Jet (owing to a Nat 20 stealth check last episode) is nearby, concealed, and ready to spring into action.

New Kid on Deck

A rowboat comes to collect Stilton and bring him back to his ship and one of the rowers clocks Jet and yells, “Archers, archers! The princess!” Jet gets the sense that she’s about to be riddled with arrows when, all of a sudden, there’s a puff of swirling pink and red fog, out from which pops a pink and blue cotton candy monk--the same cotton candy monk from Theo’s flashback last week--Cumulus Rocks! He slams down onto the rowboat and declares “The Hungry One must feed,” doing a knockback attack that knocks all the soldiers into the yogurt (something that has already been established as pretty lethal considering the downsuction of the sinking ship and also the current). Welcome back Zac Oyama! Jet wants to know who this dude is and he says he’s a cousin to Amethar and he’s arrived to protect the magic of Candia.

Not to be outdone, on her turn, Jet hits a Nat 20 to attack Stilton (with a soft, “For Lapin”) and not only pushes him into the ocean (already a death sentence) she also throws a dagger at him on the way down to the very bottom of the ocean. The dude is fully dead. She also tries to stabilize Primsy and fails (but does get her to do some more strong woman affirmations, which is something). She holds the rest of her action (which she intends to use to get herself and Primsy into a rowboat) until Ruby can send Yak to help her.

Theo gets a Nat 20 to throw his sword at some rope in the ship’s rigging and call it back so he can grab it and use it to get to Primsy. Brennann is gonna give him a hard time about doing it in full armor but, guess what? Bam! Another Nat 20! He makes it straight up to the crow’s nest with Primsy, no sweat. But, unfortunately, when he tries to stabilize her the classic Murph rolls come back and he gets a Nat 1.

Amethar jumps to the boat with Liam (doing 14 damage to the captain) and most of Annabelle’s sailors follow him. This is not at all relevant to the plot but I would be remiss to not mention how hyped both Amethar and Lou are about the concept of this squad of bad-ass lady sailors.

Ruby, Mage Hand’s the rope from the enemy ship and ties it to herself like an aerialist so she can shoot from above and sends Yak to help Jet. Then she aims for the same captain that Amethar just attacked and guess what? Nat 20 Baybee! That’s 8d6 and she plugs him in the head, taking him out.

Jet takes her held action now and brings Primsy into the rowboat with Cumulus. Liam continues to be Peppermint Batman and does a bunch of damage to help clear the ship.

Primsy has another death save which she fails but, thankfully, not with a Nat 1 which would have been fatal.

The marauders still on the Colby jump into their escape rowboat and square up with the other rowboat where Jet/Primsy/Cumulus are. The last Cheddar sailors make it off the boat but Theo is still on deck and Annabelle won’t leave anyone behind so she goes to help him.

Cumulus jumps into the enemy rowboat and kicks ass. We also learn that he has the ability to, after killing someone, siphon their life energy in the form of temp HP. Theo yells and asks if someone named Lazuli made him and he says, “In a sense, yes.”

Jet uses Yak for advantage and stabilizes Primsy with a 19 medicine check. Annabelle sees her actions from her spot on the Colby and, once again, salutes Jet.

Into the Drink

Theo knocks a dude who’s been griefing him into the ocean and then jumps into the party rowboat, from there to the enemy rowboat, and then Action Surges so he can knock some heads.

Since Annabelle used her action to help Theo and not steady the ship, the ship starts sinking faster. Jet--standing in the nearby rowboat--has to make a Dex saving throw to not get jostled by the suction and she fails, falling into the ocean. Cumulus steadies the rowboat they’re in but Annabelle fails her save as well. The top part of the crow’s nest falls into the ocean, Annabelle along with it. Brennan has everyone (except Ruby) roll Strength saves to weather the storm and not only is Annabelle pushed underwater, Theo (who is wearing full plate mail armor--famously not buoyant) falls in.

Amethar tries to maneuver the ship so it will be positioned to stop his friends from getting washed out to sea and, when it fails, runs and jumps back onto the sinking Colby. There is one last sailor on there that steadies the boat on his order and gets the broken mast of the crow’s nest near Theo.

Ruby, on a Nat 20, swings over to the enemy ship and Mage Hand’s Jet a rope.

The big Bleu ship that they haven’t commandeered starts sailing away since the fight clearly isn’t going their way. (Sidenote, extremely wild that the big bad of this fight got unceremoniously taken out literally in round one and was really the least of everyone's’ worries.)

One of the cheese dudes tries to attack Cumulus. Murph, the genius, asks if he can use his reaction from Swirlwarden to move to take the attack--move from the ocean where he will for sure die to the safety of the rowboat. Brennan bestows upon him the title of motherfucker but lets him take a DC 20 Athletics check with disadvantage (cancelled by Sprinkle to a straight roll) to do that shenanigan. He hits it! As he’s drowning, Swirlwarden glows and Theo knows a member of House Rocks is in danger. He springs out of the ocean, and takes 13 points of damage for Cumulus, absolutely saving his life.

Annabelle nails three checks in a row so she can get her head above water and start making her way back to safety. Jet, on her turn, pulls herself back into the boat and then attacks a dude with a dagger so she can spend a superiority die to give Annabelle some extra free movement (which is a very wild thing to do--to kill someone incidentally so your friend can walk a little faster somehow--the mechanics of D&D are wild). Theo holds an oar out for Amethar to help him get off the sinking Colby.

There’s another round of saves and Ruby rolls a Nat 1 (so does Theo but he’s in a position of safety so it doesn't matter). She not only falls into the ocean, she falls off on the side of the boat where there’s no one to help her.

Amethar needs to swim to the commandeered ship but Lou first tries to figure out if there’s anything he can do for Ruby. “I’m so far away,” Siobhan says, “There’s nothing you can do.” Lou fully disregards that and Amethar swims to the boat, rages, and starts chucking cheese dudes into the ocean, one of which he (on a Nat 20) throws into a piece of the ship which knocks down to where Ruby is so she can grab it. Ruby then throws a rope to Liam and calls Yak back to her to help. She pulls herself back onto the ship and throws the rope to Annabelle (though it goes a little wide).

Liam continues to kick ass (fully clearing the ship) and also sails the ship closer to the sinking Colby to help the sailor still on it. Annabelle jumps onto the ship with Liam and takes the helm. Cumulus and Jet commit some quick war crimes and kill the two remaining cheese bandits from the rowboat that had already surrendered on their turn. The other big Bleu ship continues to sail away and they don’t chase it. There are some medicine checks and only one of Annabelle’s sailors ends up dead (which I’m sure is sad for her crew but, on a macro level, is frankly a miracle).

Rocks Family Reunion

The fight over, they’re left to figure out what’s going on with this extremely clutch, Keanu Reeves-y, Cotton Candy monk who poofed in out of nowhere.

On a Nat 20, History/Family Tree check, Ruby knows that Cumulus is a distant cousin who disappeared (not left, disappeared) 25-30 years ago, before the war. She Messages that info to Jet and Theo (interesting that Theo is in the inner circle now). Theo clocks a Lapiz Lazuli pendant around his neck and asks how he got it. Cumulus said he got it from the lady herself, that he’s an Order of the Spinning Star monk, and that he was created by her to protect the magic of Candia.

Theo knew that Lazuli was doing a lot of cool/crazy experimental stuff but is a little taken aback by Cumulus. Lazuli never really talked about the monks and also didn’t call on them to help in the war, saying that they were doing plenty already, something that annoyed him at the time. She said that the war would preserve the kingdom but the monks would preserve Candia (which she also didn’t explain because what kind of Divination Wizard would she be if she was straightforward about things? That was meant to be rhetorical but as I type, the answer is Adaine/Ayda).

He also knows that she had “different servants” to help her with different things. Theo’s not sure where the monks get their magic from but he knows it’s not wizard magic and he knows that Citrina got into a big fight with Lazuli once after visiting the monastery (which is a pretty big clue). Theo tells everyone all of that. Cumulus says that he was sent to help when Candia went to war and makes it seem like he was in some kind of suspended state (or maybe confined physically) until he was needed because of Candia’s war with the Concord. He doesn’t really get the specifics. He also doesn’t get why he hasn’t gotten any of the Rocks Family Christmas High Frosting’s Eve cards over the past 30 years. And, wildly, that’s where we end our episode!

Before I get to the normal post-recap segments, I have some business to take care of. There is an anon who I like to think of as my Angel of Death anon, who called Brennan’s shot on Preston before it happened and then called Primsy’s death before this episode. I said that if Primsy so much as went down and had to roll death saves, I would invent a Crown of Candy version of detention just for them and, as it turns out, she did, immediately. So, because I’m a woman of my word:

1 Million Years Dungeon!

Congrats anon! You get to be the first occupant of the dungeon and you’re not even an N/PC! Honestly, kinda impressive.

Sunny Side Up

Not that I doubted them for a minute, but very gratified by the obligatory Gilear shout out while in the Yogurt Shoals.

“I’m trying to kill you Brennan, personally. I’m trying to make you die.”

(to Brennan who just claimed he’s being bullied on his own show) “*YOU’RE* being bullied?”

“Do I get an opportunity attack on Theo?”

“Do you think reality is being strained by the fact that a bird is helping you perform surgery right now?” (And then Siobhan’s assertion that Ruby and Yak have a telepathic connection so it’s actually Ruby--an 18 y/o bandit with no medical training--who is giving the help. So much better.)

Brennan says something like, “Kids, don’t try this at home,” about the absolute insanity happening in the battle and then Siobhan goes, “Yes, because they will definitely get the opportunity to do so.”

Whatever the hell was going on with Dome cheese.

Things I’m Concerned About

Like the whole attack at the cathedral, this is another fight that doesn’t look good on the Candians from an outside perspective. I mean, they’re already fully persona non grata but Stilton is a known man of the church. No one else really has a reason to suspect him of treason. So it just looks like they’re sniping Bulbians. Plus they left some of his men alive which means they get to tell whatever story they want when they get back. Like, maybe in their version it’s actually the evil Candians and their traitorous Dairy Island allies who ambushed the poor dearly departed Lord Bleu. They might have given the church a martyr.

OK, so between the fight Lazuli and Citrina had about the monks and Cumulus fully declaring, “The Hungry One Must Feed!” before doing his life drain mojo, it seems pretty clear where his powers are coming from. We don’t yet know if the Hungry One is like the Bulb in being powerful but mindless or if it has motives--sinister or benign or anything in between--but, either way, fraternizing with an affiliate with the direct antithesis of the State Sponsored Deity™ (who also sometimes does war crimes) seems, como se dice, problematic.

What’s going on with the rest of the House Cheddar fleet? Were they given bad orders from Bleu that they had no reason to mistrust or were they in cahoots?

I, generally speaking, trust Lazuli but mmm, making full people (assuming that’s what Cumulus meant), dealing with entities beyond mortal comprehension, and keeping secrets from everyone aren’t things that have a history of going super smoothly. I’m getting Princess Bubblegum vibes and I always found PB so shady. Also, if you create someone in lab, is cousin the title they get? Is that how that works?

This isn’t something I am concerned about so much as something I was concerned about but a Cotton Candy monk in an ocean fight is just a recipe for anxiety.

It seems like Caramelinda is gonna be in next episode and that just activates my fight or flight in a way I can’t fully articulate.

Five More Things

Extremely funny that Lou, who plays a pirate’s son in Fantasy High, is truly just guessing when it comes to all ship words but Siobhan sounds like she moonlights as a boatswain.

Zac was the party healer, he died, and he decided actually? Only heals for myself from now on. And you know what? Valid. (He’s a Way of the Long Death Monk btw) Very interesting that Zac’s last character unlocked all this information about the Bulb and now it looks like he’s playing someone who could do the same for the other side of the coin. I think it was very smart for him to show up in the middle of a tense battle where the mood would be, “Is he helping? Great. Welcome aboard,” and not, “We are fugitives, we shouldn’t be trusting anyone right now.” And him apparently being a Rocks also helps. (Also, shoutout to everyone who called Cumulus as being his new character!)

I swear, these fights keep getting more and more tense. A near insta-death mechanic like the ocean currents pulling people away really makes things crazy. At the end when it seemed like the fight was turning in the PCs direction and then people started falling into the ocean! I was already writing Ruby’s eulogy when Amethar made that amazing save. And Theo using Swirlwarden to take that damage and get out of the much deadlier ocean was Galaxy Brained. I get what the cast was saying about Nat 20s not even being exciting. They got what felt like ten Nat 20s this episode and that was the bare minimum they needed to just get everyone out alive.

That being said, the Nat 20 to drop Primsy followed by Jet’s Nat 20 to double kill Bleu was pretty rad and cinematic. Just instant karma.

Very curious about what the Dairy Islanders’ position on helping the Candians is now. About half of them almost died helping them survive--and this had nothing to do with them. This wasn’t trouble that followed them due to their fugitive status. This was all Cheese Drama. If the Candians hadn’t stowed away, they’d be dead. I have to imagine that makes a person more receptive to some light treason. And if they get implicated by the surviving marauders, they might not have much of a choice.

One More Thing

On a serious note, everything is bad right now or rather, everything has been bad for a while and it’s all come bubbling to the surface. To speak for myself, I am black so these issues are pretty inescapable on the regular but they’re extra inescapable right now and it’s stressful as hell. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post about it here and cross the streams but it’s important and also this is the show that also brought us Bud Cubby and rats fully eating a crooked cop so the streams are already well crossed.

Anyway, Black Lives Matter, stay safe if you’re out protesting, and, if you wanna donate, D20 style, twitter user @sofiabikes is doing a donation/giveaway on her twitter so hit her up (update: more info on her tumblr here). Also, dropout is donating all June merch sales to BLM and Pride orgs so if you wanted a t-shirt or whatever and you’ve been holding off, now is the time.

Edit: No new C.O.C. this week. Instead, there’s going to be a charity livestream for protester bail funds on YT, just an FYI.

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #the royal report

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koalaaquabear · 5 years ago

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The 5 hour finale live stream just concluded and y’all, it was crazy. It has been a wonderful several months with all you guys and I am so excited for April 8th and Junior Year.

MASSIVE SPOILERS UNDER THE FOLD IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE STREAM YET. Here is my clusterfuck of a commentary. Enjoy!

Fantasy High: Sophomore Year Live Reaction -HOOT GROWL BABY it's time. I didn't react to part one but wOW that one was crazy. Get ready for EMOTIONS :'(( -SIG FIG RESCUE MISSION lol #ontour -well ok brennan that canopy shit is scary as fuck -murph is still looking like riz -Zaphriel and Ayda!!!!!!! -"HOLD ME BACK GORGUG" i love u emily -Brennan I stg -Ayda is Gorgug's dad lol -oh shIT they're totally in the cottage -heLL YEAH AYDA!! -oh GOD figayda kiss? exceptional. -if ayda dies i WILL throw dice at Brennan -ok brennan make me cry then -GET THE VAN GORGUG -gorgug truly is the greatest wizard of this age -#hugeblueguy -aww zac oyama i love you -"semi-fallen" oH dEar -gorgug texts zelda IMMEDIATELY i love him -amaZING thank you zelda -"ew, creepy, hate that" -zaphriel is the best character you guys, what a homie -i keep forgetting ayda can fly. like she has wings. i know that. -AELWYN! -nOPE someone is coming through the forest and if it's arianwen i will kill cry -HANGMAN???? -HANGMAN!!!! HIS DOG!!!!! -HANGMAN NO I LOVE YOU YOU'RE THE CUTEST DOGGY -adaine i love you baby -"the weak yogurt man" -what high ranking devil??? -fabian you're adorable -aww fabian has a puppy!! (i get that the hangman is eight feet long don't @ me) -that's the first "the ball" -lou can never have the highest roll -BARDY BOYS -oop kristen and riz time -tracker? i barely even know her -chills, brennan. chills -someone in the chat just said "so did skrank fuck zelda?" -intense muSIC -nononononononono -ragh, tracker, and sandralynn better be all right -ooo a sTICK -HELL YEAH RETURN OF THE RIBBON DANCE -"riz weeps" holy shit i love him -"something bad always happens when we go off together" -#RIZTEN -awwoOOOOOOO -ayda can fly too! -absolutely FUCK this bridge ABOUT 30 MINUTES -poor ayda -please say they're ok brennan -"put your tongue baCK in your mouth" -sANDRA LYNN NO -"what kind of arrows" "you know what kind" fuCK OFF BRENNAN -if baxter dies i will cry -wait faerie fire is a cleric spell..? absolutely fuck me -ok aelwyn let's fuck shit up -calling the bank in the middle of this nightmare forest lol -heLL YEAH ZAPHRIEL -luck check luck check luck check -"y'all are going to turn into dragons" -fabian straight up cries? what a fucking rich kid -NO WAY HE HAD T H E COIN??? -REMOVE CURSE BABY -"nnOOO!" lmao -ally and brennan are in the chat -kristen's religion is REALLY coming in handy -the name was turned into the night yorb lol -"how's that axe feeling?" "..pretty light ;)" i love him -ayda can lift the axe??? exceptional -FIG IS KALINA? ABSOLUTELY RAD -brennan has created a place where illusions are real and emily is holding him TO IT -"do you have a dongle?" incredible -EMILY I LOVE YOU! KALINA IS A YOUTUBER BABY -wretchrot is baCK baby -aelwyn i love that -"i am a low quality child" "yeah ayda you're a bad kid" -"hey bitch" emily axford is a goddess -im sorry cOURT OF ELDERS? -NO I WILL CRY -ROLL INITIATIVE TIME -go OFF hangman -ooo some high initiatives babyyy -zac oyama is my favorite ever -"trackerrr" -brian as soon as emily was threatened said "how dare you" -brennan you FUCK "i'm awake for all of this" FUCK YOU -fig and her mommy issues: an album -absolutely FUCK THE TREE GUY -kick that wood elf BITCH ABOUT ONE HOUR -fuck him UP fabian, shit in his gODDAMN mOUTh -"SPRING BREAK YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER" -pleASE BRENNAN LET HIM SHOOT HER WITH THE TINCTURE -spRING break this is for the corn god -okay nevermind riz is holding his action -i love the intrepid heroes they're adorable -"ice feast" fucking love them so much -yES the ball thank GOD -brennan..? -"her rage ends" tracker = barbarian -FIRST NAT 20 BABY -"IT 100% WORKS BUT IT 50% WORKED" -that's the second "the ball" -bOOOOOOO BRENNAN -mad plans for the tree guy -sorry, is his name crAFTME ROOTDRINKER? -oh ok it's aelwyn we're fine -cone of cOLD baby i love aelwyn what a babe -you absolutely hate to see it -ragh my baby i love you -SPRING BREAK -tracker nO PLEASE -TRACKER JUST CRIT OH NO -brennan is really good at acting this btw -wait 14 on a crit??? i mean oH NO kRISTEN, bOO -disPEL MAGIC BABY -ALLY BEARDSLEY YOU ABSOLUTE GOD -aww kristennn is babyyy -tracker nooo don't cryyyy -you've sAVED your GIRLFRIEND -"some of us have already done that today" fig the sHADE -ally simply musT get new dex -absolutely fuck that brennan i don't need that vampire pixie -FUCK IT UP AYDA -FIGHT ME IN THE SKY! -"does a 29 hit?" daMN zac that absolute SHADE -53 DAMAGE?? CHEJ IS SO FUCKING STRONG -"goddamn paper lantern" -absolutely fuck you brennan -nevermind gorgug and adaine both passed the con saving throw -"i don't like you" lou really gets personally upset about this and i love that -nO NO NONONONO aelwyn and tracker are down -FUCK IT UP ADAINE -gdi brennan don't do this to us -ABSOLUTELY FUCK THE TREE -fig is straight up gonna kill her mom -this is scary as fuck -HANGMAN HAS A BREATH WEAPON AND YOU DIDN'T SAY SHIT??? CHOKE ON GRAPES BRENNAN -FUCK EM UP HANGMAN ABOUT 1 HOUR AND A HALF -wood elf is DOWN baby hoot growl -kristen thinks the elf is gak lol -23 DAMAGE??? AC OF 25??? ABSOLUTELY FUCK IT UP FABIAN -SHENANIGANS TIME FOR MURPH -HELL SECRET AGENT TIME -27??? RIZ YOU'RE THE HOTTEST -third the ball -imagine the ball is secretly SO HOT without the hat -YES BRENNAN GOT A NAT 1 EAT YOUR GODDAMN DICE -sweEET -fourth the ball (they've all been Lou cuz of course) -incredible turn murph -kalina is SO GOOD at skateboarding -#bloodphoto -KALINA HAS 23 WISDOM? absolutely fuck me -oh hELL YEAH FIG COUNTER THE COUNTER -emily is doing some SHIT right now you guys (fear spell) -DAMMIT that high as fuck wisdom -sorry WHAT she rips open sPACE??? -BABY BETTER SAVE THE GODDAMN DAY -let's go BABY -"mMMHHHHnnN leET ME tOUCh ItT" baby is fucking weird -"baby vs mommy" i love you siobhan -aelwyn better not DIE brennan -riz baby let's get it -trACKEr -nAT 1??? kristen is unCONSCIOUS?? -HUMAN DETERMINATION!!! THE GRIT BABY] -wait aura of life is badass!! they can't lose damage?? -okay scrap that we're gonna TURN UNDEAD and then MASS HEALING WORD? absolutely incredible -gorgug has so much goddamn health -FUCK THIS TREE DUDE -KILL IT AYDA LET'S GO -"her girl's side" *in lou voice* okAY bRENNNAn -second nat 1 but both of them re-rolled -GEM!!!! -LET'S GET GORTHALAX BABYYYY -"BIG DADDY" -ayda is so turned on lol -KILL IT CHEJ OKAYYYY -fuck this centaur -i'm so nervous -puT THOSE DICE DOWN BRENNAN -"you're gonna drop." shuT UP -riz is fULLY DEAD???? -i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. -sHUT UP BRENNAN -baby is DEAD oh my GOD you absolutely hate to see it ABOUT 2 HOURS -nO NO NO NO NO NO NO PUT THAT CROWN AWAY BITCH -absolutely fuck me, the nightmare king is totally fucking back i hate myself -aww fabian is baby -hELL YEAH FABIAN SPRING BREAK -"i've lost one friend, that's too many" fabian is adorable -"that's a full ass miss, my guy" -sandra lynn just crit on chej :(((((( -14 damage is not very spring break of her (she did 28 but it was halved because gorgug is such a strong boyyy) -LET'S GO LOU -almost all of them are spellcasters wtf (only one who isn't is riz but he has a daily misty step) -fuck em up hangman -fUCK EM UP HANGMAN! d8 + 2d6 +8 i think -figaroth the unfaethable baby -THOSE ARE SOME SHENANIGANS FIG I LOVE IT (she's shattering the rubies to get a revivify diamond) -casts teleport??? aelwyn came here to FUCK -"i would love to teach you this spell" aww the abernant sisters liking each other is my new aesthetic -fuck em up adaine -you can hit the tree on a 12 babyyyyy -heLL YEAH 44 DAMAGE ADAINE IS STRONG NOW -kalina is not even that cool she just said "that's enough of that" in the most uncool way -2 down 3 to go! -omg wait it would be so badass if they could just remove curse on kalina -"Mr. The Insatiable" -ayda is such a sweetheart "i don't care if you want me to date your daughter but i do hope you love me" -"I LOVE THIS SONG" yes siobhan me too -on a DC 20 she got a 31!!!! consider my jeans creamed -SHRED BABY GIRL!!! -KILLIAN IS DEAD! RIZ IS ALIVE! -ayda is so turned on AHHH -I LOVE RIZ SO MUCH "am i interrupting something???" -fuck him UP chej! 3 hits, no crits -hell yeah mr. march!! oh sorry wrong series -a gROUP PROJECT i'm DEAD -someone in the chat called him "snac oyama" and you're rigHT -siobhan's straight fucking this tree UP -the spellcasters are like all out of spells at this point -fuck OFF arianwen. KILL YOUR MOM -"where's your father, aelwyn?" "last i saw, adaine killed him so *shrug*" i lOVE HER -FUCK THEM UP GORTHALAX -abolutely fuck the nightmare king -waIT GORTHALAX IS GONNA KILL THE NIGHTMARE KING -sidenote: fig calls gorthalax pops -dO IT BRENNAN kILL YOUR OWN BIG BAD -this treeant has GOT to be dead -NAT 1 on that attack?? SPRING BREAK BABY -no we haven't seen kalina in action brennan, and we do not want to -OH SHIT THE TIE! YOu just got FUCKed bRENnan eaT youR DICE -yeS AYDA ROAST HER -"GOTTEM!" -i'm sorry i just hallucinated, did you say 6 ATTACKS? -time to go VIRAL BABY -19 intelligence, 23 wisdom, 20 charisma for kalina? absolutely fuck me -riz just got kICKed! you absolutely hate to see it -GODDAMMIT -KALINA IS HOMOPHOBIC CONFIRMED ABOUT 2 AND A HALF HOURS -brennan be like "im about to kill this bird" -absolutely fuck me i hate this -let's go FIG -time to caTCH the bALL -murph has the same thinking face as riz and it's adorable -this is not very spring break brennan -DC 25 acrobatics check? c'mon faBIAN -29????? -fifth the ball (from the hangman) -"there's just something endearing about him" fabian loving his friends is adorable -absolutely fuck me that fire elemental is adorable -absolutely swaddle the ball -well hot take but fuck the nightmare king you guys -absolutely NOT brennan do NOT kill adaine you PSYCHO BITCH -PLEASE ADAINE LIVE -STRAIGHT DEAD? FULLY DEAD? FUCK OFF WITH THIS INSTAKILL SHIT BRENNAN -hell yeah ayda is back and kristen has the revivify diamond -aelwyn FULLY banished that unicorn -it's good to know ragh really doesn't want them to die -YES RAGH IS BACK BABY -fuck em up kristen -s/o to DND Beyond btw absolutely banger website -hell yeah mass healing word is awesome -clerics are GOOD you guys i should play more clerics -FUCK IT UP AYDA -SANDRA LYNN IS BACK BABY -skater chej is my favorite thing -aBSOLUTEly fuck the tree -i have no idea wHAT is happening ABOUT 3 HOURS -fuCK YOU nightmare king -i absolutely hate this battle but at least gorthalax is still standing -gorgug better split this gd tree -"what if we just kill kalina?" yeah zac it's that goddamn easy -brennan almost just fucked everyone -"does she want to borrow my teddy bear?" the SHADE -"MAKEOVERRR" i love you siobhan -this tree SUCKS -battlemaster is cool as fUCK SPRING BREAK -BARDY BOYS also i think that was a nat 20 -i can't imagine the thistlesprings watching the battle livestream and like worrying if gorgug is going to die -FUCK HER UP THE BALL -ABSOLUTE SHENANIGANS FROM MURPH! -with ADVANTAGE BABY -"has anyone seen my hat!?" keep it off baby you're HOT now -"mirrors negate mirrors" "i think oscar wilde said that" i love them -#hotrizweek? -holy shit fig is FUCKING THIS BATTLE UP -HELL YEAH KALINA ROLLS A NATURAL 2!!!! -hell yeah adaine is back and SO MUCH is happening that i'm like forgetting to write down my reactions -kill this woody motherfucker baby -the music is too lOUD -ok it's normal now -fuck em up gorgug -i'm sorry the chat is saying he did 90 DAMAGE?!?!?!? -KILL IT CHEJ ILY -fuck off brennan, absolutely fuck off -ABSOLUTELY FUCK OFF BRENNAN -gorthalax is FULLY DEAD? absolUTELY FUCK YOU -SAINT KRISTEN APPLEBEES -adaine has SOLVED THIS SHIT -god all the abernant names are confusing -fuck you kalina ABOUT 3 AND A HALF HOURS -BRENNAN I STG IF RAGH ENDS UP DEAD -hellish rebuke that bitch -c'MON faBIAN HIT that BITCH -wait is kalina a rogue and a druid? absolutely incredible -FUCK IT UP FABIAN -OMG THE HANGMAN BETTER FUCK THIS UP -YES THE BALL 31 DAMAGE -so the stream just ended. i'll say it again: absolutely fuck me -ok so we're back and kalina got fucked up -WHAT THE FUCK A NAT 20???????? YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SEE IT -ALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS -I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS AND NEITHER CAN BRENNAN -MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY ALLY -i can't believe this. eat your GOD damn DICE brennan! -OMG ARE THE NIGHTMARE KING AND THE GODDESS ONE AND THE SAME? -THEY ARE! THE NIGHTMARE KING IS THE NIGHTMARE QUEEN -brennan is CRAZY AHHHHH -brennan absolutely stop this tension -28 insight. brennan is fucked -GO TOWARDS HIM KRISTEN -YES!!!! PLEASE SAY THIS IS A GOOD THING -ALLY GOT A NAT 20 THEY BETTER BE RIGHT -fear. is. not. real. -this is just like the ending of moana -NO WAY BRENNAN I LOVE YOU (you wouldn't believe it from what i have said but it's true) -this is intense i'm about to cry -you're meeting god and you say "is it too early for this?" -LMAO 5'9" -Moral of the story: IDK and that's OK -ok ally make me cRy -HELL YEAH NEW SHIRT BABY -i'm so emotional -"well oBVIouslY cASsAndRa" i wish every deity had names as normal and human as cassandra -fuck them UP cassie -i love that tracker's just like "uh... babe?" -love having god in your corner -no more hangman puppy :((( -RIZTEN are the CUTEST i love them "i love all of them, riz the most, we know this" -"we still need the crown for our grade" FABIAN I LOVE YOU -"counselo- former counsel- i'm an assistant :(" why do y'all think this man is hot -KILL ARIANWEN -"she tried to hurt me in my shattered state?" "that's her MO" aww adaine my baby -HOLY SHIT PLEASE GIVE GILEAR ALL OF ARIANWEN'S MAGIC -GORGUG YOU SWEETHEART I LOVE YOU -cassandra throwing SHADE -ThE vANdS -aelwyn throwing SHADE -AWW RAGH I LOVE YOU BABY brennan lives another day -"a big bug gave me a riddle" that is NOT what happened -aww the hirelings are all crying and i DO NOT stan -hell YEAH cassandra OH I STOPPED KEEPING TRACK OF TIME IT'S BEEN OVER 4 HOURS -hELL YES HANGVAN -i love you fabian -nO IS CHUNGLE DOWN BIM REAL? -maybe the real chungle down bim is the friends we made along the way -GARTHY i love them -arthuR aGUEFORT - absolutely wild -ayda and arthur is crazy -"snOGGING THE HEADMASTER'S DAUGHTER ARE WE?" -awww that is so smooth fig "you don't need to make me the most magnificent creature because it seems you already have" -ARTHUR PULLS THROUGH -garthy is a cutie i love how they care so much for ayda -oH FUCK ME garthy is ayda's child from her previous life -"your girlfriend's daughter fucked your mom!" goddammit siobhan i can't handle this -if they fail i will cry -CHRONOMANCY!? absolutely fuck me -"professor principal headmaster aguefort" -hell yeah arthur you're killing it -faelwyn? absolutely can't handle it -aww kristen is baby -jawbone and sandra lynn are ok? amazing -jawbone is the best character -"our parents are great" kill me why don't you siobhan -AWWW FUCKING STOP BRENNAN WITH THESE GIFTS -i just cried he wants to adopt her -"you're easy to love" jawbone is fUCKING me up -LYDIA BARKROCK what a badass i love her already -"a pheonix whom everyone she touches is reborn better" fuck off emily -gorgug is a cutie <3 <3 -ABSOLUTELY KICK SKRANKS BIRD ASS -GORGUG CONFIRMED FUCKS -riz is a dork i love him -who knew "you're so much like your father" could make me feel like that -GILEAR IS MOVING THE FUCK IN BABY -GILEAR WITH SELF CONFIDENCE IS MY AESTHETIC -aww jawbone gave ayda autism books? jawbone is the sweetest to ayda cuz OF COURSE HE IS -AYDA GETS HER SPELL!!! -Ayda's Comprehend Subtext is the cutest spell ever -adaine and fig's friendship is too cute -craig has always been down for everything. i don't know craig but i love him -YES HOOT GROWL HOOT GROWL I'M SO PROUD OF RAGH -"BAD KIDS FOR LIFE" RAGH IS A CUTIE -NO FAELWYN IS REALLY HAPPENING I CAN'T -fabian's laugh is so cute -i love how nervous fabian is -WAIT FABIAN AND AELWYN ABSOLUTELY WILL FUCK? -fabian's gonna get his KISSES IN -aww i get how hyped figayda is but they are truly so adorable -weLL EMILY AXFORD I WILL LET YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT -they said i love you :((( -tracker only deserves the best -TRACKER'S GOING TO FALLINEL? I LOVE HER -ragh is going too? gay road trip! -that's adorable -ABSOLUTELY NOT BRENNAN FUCK OFF DO NOT SAY THE NIGHT YORB IS GONNA BE THE NEXT VILLAIN -BRENNAN NO YOU BITCH I HATE YOU THE NIGHT YORB IS THE VILLAIN OF JUNIOR YEAR? -that was crazy. i cried, i laughed. i am fuCKING HYPED FOR CROWN OF CANDY AND JUNIOR YEAR GANG!

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juiceboxman · 5 years ago

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So I took Siobhan’s advice and listened to the BBC’s radio adaptation of the Lord of the Rings from the 80′s

It’s pretty good, you can listen to it here https://soundcloud.com/inkmore/sets/lord-of-the-rings-radio

I had some issues with it but I liked it for the most part. I’m not a massive LoTR fan, only watched the films so I don’t know much, but here are the thoughts I had.

I once heard someone describe Hobbits and the Shire as “drama free people” after listening to this series, that’s obviously not the case. Hobbits seem to live for the drama, always talking shit behind one anothers back. I think Tolkien was trying to satirise rural or village life in England and I think he did a good job depicting how petty people can be.

Sam is a working class hero and Frodo doesn’t deserve him.

I understand how people can like Sam/Frodo because there is massive gay vibes coming off them. Personally I interpreted it to be unrequited and an example of some class division, with Sam being working class and Frodo being middle class. The amount of dedication and support Sam shows Frodo I don’t think Frodo would show back if the roles were reversed. I feel like its a very one sided relationship with Sam putting in way more effort than Frodo.

Bilbo’s whole thing seems to be that he went on a gap year once that turned out quite bad and now he kinda lives like a hermit.

I don’t know how reliable to the books the Radio series is, but I feel like the movies do more justice to stuff. Like in the Radio drama Gandalf makes his first appearance by just coming through the door and Bilbo is like “ah, Gandalf” and...that’s it. Movie version was better in my opinion.

I think the radio drama does a lot better to explain what the ring of power does than the movies. I always got confused by what the ring does, like in the movies all it seems to do is turn people invisible and make them into heroin addicts. With the radio I kinda understand more about it. Like the ring’s power kinda depends on the wearer, like a Hobbit could simply use it for invisibility and expanding their life force but a King could use it to control the minds of an entire enemy army and a Wizard could do even more. But it’s still vague and I presume Tolkien intended it to be, like it’s just a representation of the concept of power and this world’s equivalent of a deal with the devil. Power or wishes may be commanded but they will ultimately corrupt you.

Time in the books seem wild. Like at one point Gandalf says that Bilbo has gone off and he himself will start researching the ring and then twelve years go by and Frodo has just been fucking about, forgot that the ring even existed and Gandalf comes back and is like “oh yeah, ring is bad”

Also, Frodo is 50 when he leaves the shire???? Jesus

Also, were the Nazgul just running about for 12 years looking for the ring? Like at one point the Nazgul knocked on some Hobbit’s door asking about Frodo and the Hobbit told him to go fuck himself and slammed a door- to a NAZGUL

Aragon’s voice in this radio drama is...way off. Like it sounds like Greg Davies. You don’t really have the soft voice of Viggo Mortinstein but the gruff righteous voice of the Principal from the Inbetweeners

Elrond denying Aragon to marry his daughter until he becomes king of Gondor is like a stern dad refusing you to date his daughter until you get a real job.

Also Aragon gets the reforged sword, like, immediately when they leave Riverdale. Which is a bit weird to me.

It makes sense why Frodo is trusted with the ring. A king couldn’t be trusted because he’d use it for conquest. A Wizard could overthrow Sauron but in doing so would become just as bad so you’re back to square one. With a Hobbit, there is no desire for conquest or any wish for power outside of simply having the ring. Even when Golum had it all he used it for was to hunt fish and extend his life cycle. I’m curious of whether if Sam had carried the ring all the way to Mordor if he could will himself to destroy it or would he have failed like Frodo.

Gimly and Legolas’ friendship is so cute. Like they start off disliking eachother but bond over their prowess in combat and plan out a gap year after the whole fellowship where they see the sights of middle earth. So wholesome

I don’t understand why they didn’t just kill Golum. Like I know he was important to find the way to Mordor and was ultimately necessary to destroy the ring after Frodo failed, but like the idea of “don’t kill him because of pity and he also probably has a part to play” is bullshit to me. Like he’s so gross and troublesome. It’s the same excuse Jedi have with “oh you can’t kill a Sith Lord because striking them down means you need to embrace the dark side” bitch Luke Skywalker round house kicked a guy into a Sarlack Pick- whaddya mean he can’t kill this wrinkly ass Emperor??? Ethical mental gymnastics are mind blowing.

For me the moment that made me really dig the series was when the Fellowship disbanded. Like shit hit the fan and everyone’s forced to do their own shit, really engaging storytelling.

The series is quite short when you consider all the battles are short cutted. Like in the radio drama you’ll hear a series of grunts for 30 seconds and then a song about how bad that battle was. I guess it would take a lot to depict a battle purely by means of audio.

Seriously the series is quite short, like it’s 13 hour long episodes and by episode five I’m like “oh shit we’re starting the second book already? Damn” It felt half the time there was so much stuff cut out I don’t know why

I think the radio drama is best suited for people who have either watched the movies or read the books. Like I don’t think it’s well suited for people who haven’t seen LoTR content before. Like the scene with the Balrog there is no description of what it looks like.

Also, Gandalf fought the Balrog from the deepest dungeons to the tip of the mountain? Damn, Gandalf’s leg day must be intense

I love the introduction of Treebeard and the Ents. Like you get this horrific imagery with warring Orcs and other evil creatures and then turn a hard 180 to these hilarious tree people. I guess that’s why the LoTR is so great. Because you do get those hard, gruesome battles but you also get these lovely peaceful wholesome scenes.

Quick question, how do you meet a guy called Saruman and then be surprised that he’s the bad guy? It’s the same deal with Victor VonDoom.

Also, did Tolkien have to have all the big villains names sound so similar?

Man, Tolkien loves having people end up together. With the Horse Princess who got friendzoned by Aragorn meeting up with that guy from Gondor. You love to see it

So like, was the King of Nazgul just talking shit or can he not be killed by a man? Like could anyone kill him by stabbing him the face or did the Horse Princess just find a loophole?

At one point this woman kinda makes fun of this flower called Kings Seed or some shit and Aragon basically calls her a THOT

Kinda sad the series didn’t have more dragons. Like I would have liked to see a huge black dragon at the final battle at Mordor. But that’s just me, I love me some dragons

Also, the final battle at the gates of Mordor is so endearing. Like they don’t even know if Frodo and Sam are still alive but they go to war anyway because they believe they are and in doing so keep the eye of Sauron off of them. It’s really heart warming

The radio’s version of the destruction of the ring is kinda anticlimactic. Like I said it’s better with the dialogue than it is at the representation of physical actions like combat. Like if you didn’t know what happened at the end of the lord of the rings and you were listening to this you would have no idea that Golum fell into the lava with the ring

I love the owner of the Prancing Pony’s reaction to Aragon becoming King of Gondor. It’s like “hey, remember that guy you saw shit in the woods that one time? Yeah he’s the President”

Also Sam’s Pony lives at the end of it. Love to see it. I feel like Tolkien read his first draft to his kids and they were like “what happened to Sam’s pony?” and he was like “uh, yeah, the pony....the pony lived! yes! the pony found its way back to town” you can tell this story is vibing on a different level than GoT or ACOC

Hobbits returning to the Shire fucking shit up like level 16 PCs returning to the town they started the campaign in

Also, all the Hobbits in the shire have no idea what the fuck went down? Like I understand they live in the middle or nowhere but that’s astounding

It’s so funny what ends up happening to Saruman. Like he goes from being the second in command of the Dark Lord to being a shitty local businessman in a Village in Yorkshire

I can see how people can really get into the LotR. Like a world like GoT is just fucked beyond compare and any happy ending will be bittersweet at most. But here you have an ending where the characters leave the world better than when they found it

Frodo asking Sam to live with him was him totally trying to get with Sam, right? And Sam was like “oh that’s nice Frodo, but I have gf” and Frodo’s like “oh that’s alright, she can move in too!” it’s like watching a man back step his request for love by inviting a family into his home. You missed your shot Frodo! You had a whole year with Sam and you blew it!

Sam ultimately moving on from Frodo with his thicc Hobbit gf is the character development we deserved

That said, in the movies Sam getting a gf was a thing at the end of the third movie- like he’d been so shy before hand but after almost dying he’s like “fuck it, might as well give my shot” but here in radio drama he...had a gf all along? Like we only hear about her in the final episode and he’s like “oh yeah, my gf ain’t too happy. I left her for a year to fuck about with you so now I need to marry her. Woops” very startling

Also love how Tolkien represented PTSD with Frodo. I don’t think works of Fantasy like this before Tolkien really did this stuff justice. That said the ending is a bit weird. Like I understand that the “Undying Lands” are supposed to reflect Tolkien’s belief in Catholicism, Eternal Life and Heaven. But it’s really hard to not interpret the ending as Frodo as struggling to deal with his PTSD so he commits suicide. Because the Undying Lands is a place that Sam cannot follow. It’s heart breaking but that’s the vibe I got off the ending.

So yeah, there’s my thoughts. It’s pretty good but I’d only recommend the series to anyone who’s either seen the movies or read the books. If this was your first introduction to LOTR I don’t know if that would be any good.

Also, while we’re here I recommend Escape from the Bloodkeep from Dimension 20. It’s DnD actual play series that is a slight parody of LOTR. It’s really good.

youtube

#dimension 20 #acoc #escape from the bloodkeep #lord of the rings #lotr

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rational-mastermind · 5 years ago

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Chzo Mythos Headcanons: Chris x Claire / Quinnvoyant

I’m sure Chris must’ve pursued Trilby for a bit of time, be it for serious reasons or shits and giggles but regardless if he ends up with Siobhan (like I headcanon) Chris would probably respect that and just...agree to move on. He doesn’t like to make things complicated. Just keep it to friends. It won’t stop his antics, but he understands Trilbs’ bounds.

Meanwhile, Claire’s been kinda just there. And while she and Chris are just happy for Trilby, happy that he’s got what he’s wanted, and that he’s doing well with life and..

Claire: ... You wanna..?

Chris: ... Platonically fuck?

Claire: Yeah?

Chris: Yeah, why not?

Claire: Cool.

And they kept it to that for a while. No strings, no emotional attachment, nothing personal, just.. two co-workers, letting off some steam- Just friends with benefits. Just a couple of fuck buddies. Yup. Absolutely...not...feeling anything more.

Claire may try to get him into talking about something more but Chris likes to keep things simple. Cause then you get into a relationship, like a serious relationship and it’s quick to get messy and feelings could be hurt and she’ll probably get tired of him anyways, and then she’ll wanna leave him and then it’s like, “Well who gets the dog??”

Cause the thing is... Chris isn’t unaware of himself. He knows he’s messed up..in some way or another. He kinda just knew Trilby would put up with him, cause that’s the kind of guy he is, but it’s not a guarantee for everyone. He knows he’s a bit of a manic, a bit sadistic, and that’s really not gonna be easy on Claire. And the truth is he actually has enjoyed being with her more than most anyone else.

But being in a more “serious relationship” always comes with those expectations of “Well now you‘ve gotta be serious” and suddenly you should treat them differently and then he’ll mess up, and she’ll leave him, and it’s like “Well what was the point?” and why bother saying “I want this” if you don’t actually want everything that comes with it?

But this is Claire. Spending a little time with him, just reading his vibes, she knows what she’s getting herself into. And it’s not like she doesn’t understand crazy. She’s a psychic. Crazy’s kinda always been a part of her life.

To which Chris rebuttles with how cool and amazing being psychic is, cause you know he digs it. But regardless, she may be a little absent-minded, but she knows what she’s getting herself into.. She wouldn’t want him to change

But if it makes things easier on Chris, they take it slow.

And just like that they immediately go from fuck buddies to just the fluffiest fluff nuggets you could possibly fluffin’ imagine

Everything from holding hands to cuddling and all the sweet little things that make a relationship so wonderful, it’s all new and tentative and they love every single minute of it

Chris actually has a hard time putting more complicated emotions into words. Claire’s solution to this is to sit together and rummage through his brain a bit.

Which can be taxing, so Chris is always happy to make up for it by doing whatever to help her feel better. Even if it means giving her space.

This is how they first say “I love you”.

Cause you know Chris wouldn’t half-ass something important like that. It’s LOVE. He’s not gonna throw it around willy-nilly. But actually acknowledging that kind of emotion for her is probably one of the more intimidating things he’s experienced (which tickles Claire to know)

So they end up cuddling on the couch while she probes his mind, and can feel his love and it’s one of the most romantic moments she’s ever experienced <3

And fucking? You better believe it’s a whole another ballgame.

Which unfortunately doesn’t make things so easy on Trilby. Between listening to Chris’ insisting need to OVERSHARE and Claire projecting too many vibes, it’s a miracle he didn’t just seclude himself into a closet for the whole day.

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, nor the fact that Trilby has to use everything in his power to not question Claire’s sense of self preservation, they’re just...embarrassingly sweet.

Now the thing about dating a psychic is, they are going to get tired. And poor Claire already goes through so much it’s a miracle she doesn’t collapse some days.

But Chris has actually been paying attention to all her psychic talk and has helped come up with a solution. Rather than probing his mind and having to filter through all his manic energy, he tries to take it more relaxed. He tries, so very hard, to keep as still, and calm, and relaxed, as possible, and let her just feed off those vibes

Which surprisingly helps a lot and quickly becomes their new favorite thing to do. Especially Chris’. (Just, Otp “Vibe-Check”)

What’s especially fun is that Chris, like Trilby, is pretty tall. Like, 6′3″. And Claire, unfortunately, is very short. Like.. 4′10″. So it makes vibing even more fun.

For Chris at least. Sometimes it’s really really frustrating being the short one in Claire’s mind.

“Whoa, Claire, are you okay?”

“Yeah just a little morning sick.”

“What? Why??”

“Well cause I’m pregnant. Duh.”

“Oh.”

“.......OH WAIT CHRIS-”

“Well I guess this means I have to marry you.”

“?????”

“Well I mean- If you want. Wait, do you wanna marry me?”

“Well yeah but-”

“Awesome! Wait, shit, I have to get a ring. I have to ask this right.”

(*audible confusion*)

After the initial...moment passes, the excitement is really there

Maybe Chris was a little too excited some weeks...

“Do you think it’s going to be a psychic?”

“...Would you still love it if it wasn’t, Chris?”

“Well yeah, of course. You can’t hate babies. But like.. What do you think?”

“...Probably.”

“Hell yes.”

Maybe Claire shouldn’t have encouraged such enthusiasm..

Maybe she still would’ve had the child..

To be fair, Chris didn’t actually get to hurt her. He snapped out of it. But the stress still got to Claire

She may have hit him

It would’ve been a huge strain on their relationship..

Chris would get real help and tried harder than ever to set himself straight after that. If for no one else, than for Claire.

Eventually, with time, patience, love, and careful, careful steps...they’re back to where they were

They have one daughter

Her name is Hope

You better believe Chris was in fucking tears, holding that child

And you better believe that baby is psychic (that’s what Chris likes to believe).

This child is going to grow up learning how to kick ass and probably concern some other parents with how proud she makes her dad for doing so

Also it’s always so much fun to visit Uncle Trilby

As far as keeping each other safe while working a horrible government issued job that involves cults and demons and ghosts and shit, yeah you better believe Chris is gonna be keeping Claire as safe as possible

But when it comes to everyday assholes? Claire’s got it covered. And it’s about the hottest thing Chris has ever seen her do.

If Claire ever ended up dying, Chris... would never be the same.

He would try to laugh it off...at first... But it wouldn’t be the same. He can’t laugh it off. It’s too...real.

Suddenly pain isn’t funny. It’s very real. And very scary. And he’s very much, alone. He would be hollow, depressed, stoic, and serious. Not even Trilby could cheer him up.

If Chris died and Claire was left behind, she wouldn’t take it easy either.

She doesn’t cry. She doesn’t fall into depression. She doesn’t rage. Or go into denial. She just...accepts.. But you know she’s hurting.

She withdraws away from everyone. She’s not chipper anymore. She doesn’t rearrange her cats anymore. She doesn’t make a fresh pot of coffee for everyone anymore. She doesn’t do all the cute quirky things around the offices because why bother?

It’s not a first time a guy she fell in love with died, and that’s what really hurts.

Trilby can’t talk her out of it, and neither can anyone else around the office...

Except Jim Fowler. From the morgue. Who just so innocently, gives her some comfort food, in consolidation. He talks about it. She mentions it’s not a first. He consoles her, telling her it’s okay to still hurt.. It’s okay if this still hurts.

“That’s how you know you love him.”

And she finally bursts into tears.

And after helping her cry it out, she goes home, drained, exhausted, nauseated, and worn.

She collapses on the couch.

And wakes up the next morning, with a blanket from the closet pulled over her.

Okay, I’m done now. XD;; Over all I just see these two as this weird “your crazy matches my crazy” kinda couple and it’s wonderful.

#chzo mythos #chris x claire #chris quinn #age of evil #rambling mastermind #quinnvoyant

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cards-onthetable · 6 years ago

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Loved your dialogue about season 10 Jamie. First sack season 9 writers - well not siobhan-oconor and K Wade esq.. Then give Will a crash course in the intricacies of being in love and happy. Also burn all his T shirts bare chested Jamie is always a crowd pleaser. Make them watch and learn from their sizzling acting in the Kiss 7 x 8 and the dance 7x9

Okay but let’s talk about Siobhan for a moment. @ontherockswithsalt and I just had this conversation actually. What is it about Siobhan that has the fandom all excited when she writes an episode? I used to be the same way, tbh. But then I actually looked at which episodes she wrote to see what Jamko moments she’s responsible for. There are a couple examples of actual Significant Episodes (5x01 with Jamie’s talk with Erin, 7x13 with the I Kick Ass shirt, 8x18 when Eddie got shot) and a few times where she wrote a cute scene in an otherwise unremarkable episode for Jamko (I liked specific scenes in 5x07 and 6x20). But she didn’t write the 4x19 or 7x08 kisses, the dance, or really anything that stands out to me that much. I think people have a false appreciation for her because it’s true that for a while it seemed like she included Eddie in more episodes than other writers, so a Siobhan episode hopefully meant at least an Eddie sighting. But now Eddie is more or less guaranteed to show up in every episode, at least at family dinner if she doesn’t have her own storyline. So getting excited for a Siobhan episode where we might just get to see Eddie isn’t really valid now.

Kevin Wade. Lol the one who wrote Jamie Reagan saying such nauseating lines as “I’d spend the five million on you” and “As of this morning, the future Mrs. Jameson Reagan”? NO THANKS, FIRE HIM TOO.

So yep they could fire the entire writing team and probably be better off.

As for Will, I don’t even know what to do with him anymore. I think he signed on to play a cop and he legitimately enjoyed action scenes and development like his character had in earlier seasons. I don’t think he’s here for all this precinct/desk work as a sergeant and I think he really dislikes being the Romantic Draw of the show. Obviously that’s all speculation but I wonder if he’d enjoy his job more, and thus Jamie would look less miserable all the time, if he still got to film more on the streets with Real Cop Storylines instead of all this Boss crap where he doesn’t do much as an actor except walk down precinct hallways and look bored. There wasn’t much balance to Jamie Reagan’s character in season 9. I’d hope that fixing that would make Will appear happier and in turn, make Jamie seem like a person who is overall happy with his life.

As far as the shirts thing, I agree. No shirts ever. But I unfortunately doubt we’ll see Jamie shirtless ever again because Will is probably dying of liver failure and isn’t actually hot anymore.

There’s been little opportunity for Moments like mid-season 7 because the majority of Jamko’s scenes occur at the precinct or at family dinner. I really seriously hated all the times they’d chat while walking down the hallway like Jamie’s too busy to stop for 8 seconds and Eddie’s yapping at his heels for something he doesn’t care to give her (lol like attention or love). Plenty of the S9 precinct scenes could just have easily taken place in their apartment or elsewhere — I wonder if they stuck to the precinct to either avoid any speculation about Jamko’s living arrangements for the benefit of conservative older viewers, or to make it seem like Jamie still got to be seen as a cop just because he’s in uniform while talking about something unrelated. The dynamic will never, ever be all that the viewers want during scenes in uniform where, even if they’re not actually talking about the job, we are constantly reminded of Jamie’s authority over her at work. So if they take some of those scenes out of the precinct in season 10, and show us a more equal, less gross side of their relationship in the privacy of their home, things might be a little bit better. But probably not by much. Like do we have to spend the rest of our lives watching Eddie beg for Jamie’s opinion on towel colors or even like, nursery ideas while he acts uninterested and lame? Because ew no thanks bye.

#sandy hates it all #lol there really is no hope here is there?

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killswitchwrites · 6 years ago

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Take It All Back

Dean x Reader

Summary: Strength can look like a lot of things. Sometimes it’s being strong enough to walk away. Other times it means sticking it out. In Y/n’s case, it means a little of both. Sequel to One Last Moment.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Canon level violence, blood, angst, and language.

Beta’d by: @pinknerdpanda & @trexrambling

A/N: This was written for Ang’s “Fierce Females in FanFiction” Challenge. My prompt was, “you made your choice and I made mine. Just because you can’t live with yours doesn’t mean you can shame me for living with mine.” It’s bolded within the fic. This is a continuation of my fic, One Last Moment.

Sorry it’s so close to the wire @atc74 , my muse has been an elusive bitch.

“Exorcizamus te omnis immu-”

“I’m really going to enjoy taking everything from you,” the demon snarls. The cheerful pastel of her outfit makes her threat seem absurd.

“Lucky for me, I don’t have anything to take. Not anymore.”

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You know, lying to a Sunday School teacher is extra bad,” she giggles.

A knot forms in my gut. She can’t possibly know about him. I’ve covered my tracks. I know I’ve covered them, but a small wisp of doubt creeps into the back of my mind. Maybe. Maybe someone couldn’t keep their mouth shut.

“I can’t wait to wear his skin-” she gargles the blood in her mouth before spitting it at my feet- “so many perfect little freckles,” she finishes with a hiss and a maniacal smile.

When I found this demon, I had high hopes of sparing the possessed woman. His perfect face flashes into my memory. If I save the woman, I risk losing him forever.

I force myself to take an even breath before asking, “Who?”

“A lady never kisses and tells.”

“If you talk, I can make this quick for you.” Moonlight glints on the blade in my hand. “If you don’t…”

The demon squirms. “Where’d you get that?”

“I love thrift stores. You just never know what you’ll find.”

“You found an angel blade-” she shifts in her chair- “at a thrift store?”

“So what’ll it be, quick or slow?”

“I’ve always liked it slow,” she purrs.

___

Three times. That’s how many tries I make at unlocking my phone before I realize there’s too much blood on my hand for it to recognize my fingerprint.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Six years ago I turned my back on the only man I’d ever loved, the only man who had only ever loved me. I was done. I got out.

I finally get my phone unlocked and dial by memory. My heart beats faster with each ring. Just when I’m positive my heart will explode, Siobhan answers.

“Blessed b-”

“Cut the crap, Siobhan, it’s me.”

“Oh. What do you want? I’m a little busy.”

“Someone in your coven has a loose tongue, and I plan on cutting it out.”

“I’m positive you are mistaken. We’ve held up our end of the deal. It’s become apparent that you have not.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Irene is dead. Her daughter made it back to tell us of her untimely demise before succumbing to her own wounds.”

“Did she know the doer?”

“No. She only said that they used witch killing bullets.”

“I’ll find who’s responsible and take care of it. In the meantime, up your warding around the house and keep an eye out.”

I don’t even need a full hand to count the number of hunters that know how to make witch killing bullets. One is me. The other two I had never planned on running into ever again.

___

“I’m telling ya, Sammy, I got her. It’s only a matter of time before she bleeds out.”

“That’s just perfect, Dean. If it weren’t for the fact that we needed her to find the coven.”

“Ok, fine, it’ll take a little longer than we planned. But hey, at least there’s free cable.”

Their bickering carries through the thin wood of the door. I kick back in my chair and prop my feet on the table, trying my best to sell the nonchalant vibe I am most certainly not feeling.

Dean shoulders through the motel door, freezing when he sees me.

Sam curses under his breath as he collides with his brother. “What the hell, Dean?”

A myriad of emotions rapidly shift Dean’s features before he settles on feigned indifference. “Get your dirty boots off the table, Y/n, people eat there.”

“Y/n?” Sam swipes the hair from his eyes and tucks it behind one ear. A face splitting grin amplifies his dimples. His smile quickly falters when I don’t return it.

I stay where I am. Feet propped up in defiance. “You guys need to leave town.”

Dean walks behind me on the way to the mini fridge, pulling on the back of my chair as he goes.

I pinwheel my arms and slam my feet to the floor in order to keep from falling over backward.

Sam nearly smirks, but manages to catch himself in the nick of time when I shoot him a glare. Dean, however, outright barks a laugh.

“Listen here, you ass.” I feel my cheeks heat. “I’m not here to play games. You’re not welcome here and you need to leave. I’m not going to ask again.”

“Doesn’t really seem like you’re asking, Y/n.” Dean cracks open a beer and throws the cap in the direction of the sink. “Besides, we kind of like it here. Don’t we, Sammy? And leaving is more your sort of thing. If I’m not mistaken,” he adds with an icy glare.

Clenching my fists, I dig my nails into my palms and focus on the sharp sting so that I can keep my voice from wavering. “If you ever loved me, Dean, you’ll leave tonight and never come back.”

All of the color drains from Dean’s face.

“Are you in some sort of trouble, Y/n?” Sam asks, finally finding his voice.

“It’s trouble that I’m trying to avoid, Sam.” I head towards the door, pausing to rest a hand on Sam’s chest. “Please. Get him as far away from here as you can.”

I beeline for the door, hoping to make it back to my car before the tears burning my eyes fall. I make it exactly four steps across the parking lot when I hear the scuff of Dean’s stride behind me.

“Tell me why.”

I freeze, midstep. “Because,” I weigh my next words carefully mustering as much venom as I’m capable of, “because everything you touch dies.”

I turn to face him, and his pained look is more than I can bear. But I press on, I have to. The stakes are too high for me to give in. I add the final nail to my coffin of lies.

“You’re a curse, Dean Winchester, and I wish I had never met you.”

I don’t stay to witness the fallout, but I imagine it looks the same as my shredded heart feels.

___

“It is done?” Siobhan drawls.

“I took care of the hunters. They’re not going to be a problem anymore. Do we still have a deal?”

“Your child will continue to receive the benefits of our protection. For as long as we have yours.”

I release a sigh. “How is he?”

“He grows in strength and beauty every day.”

“You know that’s not what I’m asking.”

“He remains unaware of his lineage.”

There are so many more questions I want to ask, but the less I know the better, the safer he is.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I answer it without checking the ID.

“Don’t hang up!” Sam blurts.

“Sam? How did you get this number?”

“That’s not really important right now. Have you seen Dean?”

“Not since this morning.”

“He went out to grab a drink, and he’s not picking up his phone. I’ve been to every dive bar in town. I can’t find him.”

“He’s probably just shacked up with some floozy for the night. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, Sam. He’ll probably roll in in the morning, no worse for the wear.”

“You don-” he sighs-”he’s not like that anymore. Not since you left. Please, Y/n, just help me find him and I’ll never bother you again.”

My heart twists. “Have you tried tracking his phone?”

____

“You’re positive this is the place?” I take in the gothic architecture and broken stained glass. It’s not technically a church anymore, but it’s still the last place I’d expect to find Dean on a Saturday night.

“This is the only place near the tower his phone pinged from just before I lost the signal.”

“Maybe his phone just died. You know he forgets to put it on the charger.”

“It was off, and then it was on, and then it was off again. Something else is going on; I know you can sense it too.”

“I think you’ve watched Star Wars one too many times, Obi Wan, because I’m not sensing anything. Other than the extreme dissatisfaction that I haven’t been able to remove my bra for the night.”

Sam snorts a laugh. “One quick sweep of the place.” He checks the clip on his weapon and chambers a round. “And if I’m wrong, you’ll be home in your pajamas in no time.”

I double check my weapon before following after him with a grumble. With my luck, he’s probably right and this night is going to go tits up real fast.

Sam waits for me by the heavy wooden entry doors. All merriment has been stripped from his face and replaced with grim calculation. With a tip of his head he motions to the trail of blood that disappears under the door.

Stepping over the gruesome trail, I pull open the door and pray it doesn’t creak and give us away. Sam slips through and I follow, nearly colliding with him.

I step around him and follow his line of sight. At the front of the church, behind the pulpit, where usually there’s a sculpture of Christ on the cross- there’s Dean. He’s been stripped of his shirt and suspended upside down. There’s a puddle under him, and fresh blood drips from the wounds on his chest to join it. He doesn’t appear to be conscious. He better not be dead. I’ll kill him for being so reckless.

Sam nudges me, and I split off to the right while he takes the left.

The only place for someone to hide is the confessionals, and I quickly clear them. Whoever did this is in the wind.

“Dean?” Sam whispers, reaching his brother.

Dean responds with a low groan. The sound sends relief flooding through my system, and I rush forward to help Sam.

“Hold on, man, we’re gonna get you down.” Sam’s voice is tight with worry.

By the time we get him loaded into the car, we’re all covered in his blood.

“I’ll sit in the back with him,” I offer, sliding into the backseat and settling Dean’s head in my lap.

Like it’s second nature, my fingers stroke through his hair to comfort him. “Just hang in there, Dean, we’ll get you patched up.”

Dean nuzzles into my touch and drifts off. I close my eyes, and I can almost pretend it’s just like old times. His pained grunt when Sam hits a pothole reminds me that it’s not. Everything’s different now. Everything’s wrong.

___

Sam and I get Dean on his bed back at the hotel where we silently work to piece him back together. Most of the cuts are superficial, intended to elicit pain, not death.

“Who would do this, Sam?” I ask while double checking the tape on the dressings.

“It’s not like we have a shortage of enemies-” he pauses- “though we did just take out a couple of witches. This could be retaliation.”

“It’s not them,” I mutter.

“Wait, you know the coven we’re tracking?”

“Huh?” Shit. I exhale. “They’re not bad people. I have a deal with them. I offer them protection and they do the same for me.”

Sam’s look is cold. “I never thought you’d be the type to work with witches, Y/n.”

“Well neither did I, Sam, but a lot of things have changed that I never thought would.”

“What else have you guys been hunting in the area?”

“Nothing. The coven is what brought us here. You?”

“I found a couple of low level demons sniffing around. I handled them.”

“By the looks of Dean it would seem that their buddies are a little pissed.”

Dean groans in his sleep and, instinctively, I reach to comfort him.

“Looks like not everything has changed,” Sam points out.

I withdraw my hand. “Some habits die hard.”

“Dean never told me why you left.”

I shrug. “I couldn’t do it anymore, Sam. The ones we couldn’t save kept piling up.”

“Yet, here you are.”

“Yeah. Here I am.”

Sam stifles a yawn.

“Why don’t you grab some sleep? I’ll sit with Dean.”

“Are you sure you wanna stay?”

“I need to. Just until I know he’s okay.”

“I’ll go grab something to eat. Dean’ll be hungry when he wakes up.”

Once Sam leaves I slip beside Dean, laying close enough to feel his body heat but not close enough to disturb him. The constellations of freckles on his shoulders and chest peek out from the edges of the bandages. I still remember the names I gave them the last time I laid in bed with him.

A tear rolls down the side of my nose and silently lands on the pillow. I scoot a little closer to him and rest my head on his chest, over his heart. I focus on the steady rhythm beneath my ear, and it quiets the chatter in my head. I’d almost forgotten how still my mind could be.

Dean nuzzles into my hair with a sigh and, for one split second, I wish with everything in my soul that I could take it all back. All the hurt. The pain. The fights. The lies.

Even though he remains still, I feel him wake up. “I’m so sorry, Dean,” I whisper.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I know you didn’t mean it. You’ve always been a crap liar.”

“Have not.” I sit up and discreetly dab my nose with my sleeve.

Dean chuckles and then quickly sucks in a breath with a grimace.

“Serves you right for teasing me.”

An uncomfortable silence fills the space between us. Dean is the one to break it.

“Mind telling me why the demons you pissed off came after me? And why they’d think I’m hiding someone for you.”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“I nearly lost my spleen. I think I deserve to know why, Y/n.”

Panic writhes like snakes in the pit of my stomach. “You’re right.”

I suck in a breath and move a little farther from him. “I need you to know I never meant for any of this to happen, and by the time I found out it was too late. I’d already left and it’s not like I could go back. I couldn’t ask that of you.”

“Spit it out.”

“It’s easier if I show you.” I dig my phone from my front pocket and swipe to the film reel before handing over the phone to Dean.

“His name is Thomas, and he’s almost six.”

Dean’s eyebrow knit together, and then his eyes blow wide. “What is this, Y/n?!” I scramble to move away from him, but he grips my wrist to keep me right where I am. “How could you?”

“I didn’t mean to,” my nose runs freely and I ignore it, “it just happened, and I’ve wanted to tell you so many times. But I just… couldn’t.”

“You had no right,” he growls.

“I had every right, Dean.” I wrench my arm from his grip and stand on wobbly legs. “I may have left, but you let me. You made your choice and I made mine. Just because you can’t live with yours doesn’t mean you can shame me for living with mine.”

“Choice?” he scoffs. “How could I possibly make a choice when I didn’t have all of the information?!”

Dean jumps from the bed, quickly doubling over.

“Just perfect. Now you’ve pulled your stitches! Get back in bed!”

I shove him towards the bed and he slaps away my hands.

“No! I want to see my son.”

I shove again and he collapses with a heavy thud. “You can’t see him. Not now. Not ever.”

“Bullshit. You don’t get to make that choice for me. Not anymore, Y/n.”

“He doesn’t even know you exist!”

Once again, Dean looks like I stabbed him directly in the heart- and twisted. “You didn’t even tell him about me? Where does he think his dad is?”

“You died in a car crash when he was just a baby… and so did I.”

“What?” he whispers, shocked. “You… abandoned him?”

“I didn’t abandon him, Dean. I gave him up to people that could protect him.”

“Where is he, Y/n?”

I suck in a breath and wrap my arms around my stomach. “He’s with the coven you and Sam are here hunting.”

“You gave our child to witches?!”

“I didn’t have a choice! From the moment he was born it was like he was a beacon to everything that went bump in the night! I couldn’t keep him safe. I wasn’t enough.”

“We could’ve kept him safe. Together.”

“Yeah, because you would’ve given up hunting, bought a house in suburbia and, what? Punched a clock for the rest of your life?”

“I don’t know, okay! I don’t know what I would’ve done!” He runs his hands through his hair. “But I would’ve done something.”

“Well, I did do something. I found people strong enough to protect him. And as long as I protect the coven, they’ve agreed to shield his essence.”

“So we’re supposed to, what, forget about him?”

Hesitantly, I move forward and sit on the edge of the bed. “We do what our parents couldn’t do for us. We keep him as far from this life as we can.”

“But,” tears spring into his eyes, “it’s not- it shouldn’t be like this.”

I take his hands in mine and twine our fingers. We sit in the painful silence surrounding us, both afraid to speak- afraid of the words we might say.

When I can take it no longer, I slip my hand from his. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, Dean.”

He opens his mouth to speak, rethinks, and then closes it.

I jump to my feet and rush out of the door before he can say all the hateful things I know I deserve.

My stupid hands are shaking so badly by the time I get to my car that I can’t get the key in the door lock. “Dammit!” I punch the roof of the car, first in frustration, and then again because the pain it causes momentarily distracts me from the pain in my chest.

Warm arms that I immediately recognize as Dean’s encircle me, and I collapse into them with a sob.

Quickly, he spins me. Before I can register what’s happening his lips are pressed to mine. The salty taste of tears mixes with the taste of Dean, and I melt against his chest.

When he gives a pained grunt, I remember his injuries and pull away.

“Shit,” I gasp, checking his bandages. “Your stitches.”

“Screw my stitches,” he mumbles, pulling my hands back around his neck and pinning me against the car with his hips. “I’m not letting you leave, Y/n. Not again.”

“Bu-” I start to protest, and he silences me with another press of his lips.

Dean swipes his tongue along the seam of my lips and all thoughts of protesting flee my mind. I’m going to kiss him just like I’ve dreamed of kissing him every night since I left.

I don’t know what the future holds for us, perhaps no one does. But for tonight, at least, I’m going to pretend that we found a way to take it all back- and just maybe, if we’re really lucky, move forward.

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