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cherrycheridarling · 3 years

Text

dap me up | t.h.

tom holland x actress!reader

warnings: somewhat smut? swearing and fluff

summary: during an interview for your new film, tom exposes your odd routine during intimate scenes and your favourite flower.

a/n: i got carried away. there's a lot going on in here. enjoy?

wc: 2.6k

"Hello! I'm Adrien Fox with Pop Sugar and we are here with stars of the new film 'Week Off', Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L/N!" Adrien introduced you and Tom to the cameras.

You and Tom gave little waves, "Hello!"

"Now, let's get right into it."

Adrien began asking generic questions while you tried your best to prevent any spoilers from leaving Tom's lips.

"Can you explain the movie a bit to anyone who is unfamiliar with the book or hasn't watched the trailer?"

Tom opened his mouth to speak before closing it, "I think I'll let Y/N do that."

Adrien laughed before you spoke, "Yeah, um. It's basically a comedy with a little rated R content. Some romance, but mostly raunchy and hilarious stuff. It follows the employees in this law firm and their vacation away from work. Lots ensues during said trip including relationships, arguments and too much drinking."

"And you guys worked with many famous actors and actresses in this film. Like, Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Anne Hathaway, Zendaya, Chris Hemsworth, Kevin Hart, Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum and The Rock. How was working with that many iconic people in the industry? You guys are obviously incredibly well known as well, but I imagine some of these people were your idols growing up." Adrien asked and you and Tom nodded.

"Yeah, uh, yeah. It was an honour. Absolutely amazing. Like, I never imagined I'd be making films, let alone films with stars like Kevin Hart and Emma Stone, you know? I'm just really proud of this one and I love everyone who we worked on it with." Tom gave his answer making you nod.

You cleared your throat, "Yeah, Zendaya is my best friend and she has been for years, long before this movie came along, but I still got so excited about working with her. Jennifer Lawrence is amazing, so hilarious. You put her and Chris into a room together and it's just comedy central." you laughed with Tom at the memory.

"We've seen in the trailer that you two share many intimate and – may I say – risqué scenes in this film. Was it hard to keep that level of professionalism and friendship while shooting those scenes?"

You let out a little chuckle at the question before Tom rubbed his chin and spoke, "Since Y/N and I are already good friends off screen, I thought it would be awkward filming those scenes, but Y/N does this weird handshake after every take and it wasn't awkward 'cause it just made me laugh."

Adrien laughed a little before speaking, "What handshake?"

You shook your head with a smile as you recalled the first time you ever did the handshake with Tom.

"Ready, Holland?" you had your pyjamas on and were making your way to your mark in the set of your character's hotel room.

Tom nodded before following you in, cameras and crew hot on his heels, "Ready as I'll ever be."

He was shirtless. A pair of loose fitting grey shorts hung low on his waist. His costume for this scene as Niko Sai.

A black silk slip hung carelessly off of your frame. Ending at the middle of your thighs, v-neck dipping low on your chest. Your costume for Kora Patel.

"We're going to take it from Tom's line; 'You want me just as much as I want you'. Okay?" you and Tom gave a thumbs up, "Action!"

"You want me just as much as I want you. Everytime you sneak a glance at me and you think I don't see, but I do because I'm already looking at you, Patel." Tom walked behind you, looking at you through the mirror in front of you. "I don't blame you, I am incredibly good looking." he smirked to himself.

"I'm guessing you couldn't fit your shirt over your ginormous head?" you rolled your eyes.

Tom's smirk only grew, "Is that a little bit of drool on your mouth, Patel? Who knew the Kora Patel had a thing for Niko Sai? Oh, the Lord is good."

You rested your hands on the sink and leaned forward, "This is a useless conversation, Sai." you turned to face him, "I feel nothing for you. Don't you get that?"

He stepped closer to you and cupped your face in his palm, "Yes you do, you just don't want to." his face showed pain, all humour drained from his character.

You shook your head with a dry laugh, "You're only trying with me because it's convenient. The company's quiet little Kora Patel, right?"

He took another step towards you, holding your hip in a tight grip, "That's a lie. Nothing about us is convenient."

You chuckled before your hand flew to grasp his hair, tangling your fingers in his curls. Your other hand pressed against his pec. Nails tracing patterns on his skin. Tom's breath hitched along with yours as his body automatically drew closer to you.

You tightened your grip on his hair, "It is convenient because you know I keep to myself. You know that I won't go running my mouth about how long you last or if size really does matter. You know that I'm an easy one to fuck," you pulled him closer, "And toss aside, right, Sai?"

"No." Tom swallowed, "You're wrong, Patel."

You shrugged, "I can give you what you want," you ran your thumb across his bottom lip, "Physically." your eyes met his with heavy lids, "Not emotionally. That's why you need Remedy. Not me." your lips brushed his as you spoke, your voice just loud enough for the mics to pick up.

He leaned in and nearly kissed you before you pushed him away slightly by his chest, foreheads still touching, "Let me kiss you." he whispered, sounding so desperate that you nearly abandoned the script and pulled him into you.

You rolled your lips between your teeth, "And if I don't?" you raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

"I'll leave you alone. If that's what you want, I'll go and have a useless one night stand with a girl who could never measure up to you." he pulled your hips flesh against his, "But if you let me kiss you. I promise to show you how much I mean it when I say that I'll spend all night showering every inch of your body with the love it deserves." he brushed his lips against yours again before bringing his mouth to your ear, "Just say the word, darling, and I'm yours."

Your heavy breaths were the only things that could be heard besides the small sound of shuffling behind the cameras. Your eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips before you closed the distance and pushed your lips to his.

Fighting for dominancy, teeth clashing, hands roaming. Unscripted groans falling from Tom's lips as you tugged on his hair, running your fingers along his scalp. His hands gripped the bottom of your thighs before you jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist.

"I still hate you." you breathed against his lips as he kissed the corner of your mouth.

You felt him smirk, "You sure have a funny way of showing it."

He carried you to the bedroom, gently laying you down and climbing on top of you, never breaking the kiss. His hands running down your sides, squeezing and rubbing. Your lips moving in sync until he pulled away only to attach his lips to your jawline, leaving slow but hard kisses down your neck, leading to your collarbone.

"Still hate me?" Tom mumbled against your skin.

You let out a breathy moan, "More than ever."

"What do you hate about me, Patel?" he lifted up the bottom of your black slip.

"E-everything." you fake gasped as he rolled his hips into yours.

He laughed dryly, "Everything, huh? The noises you're making say otherwise."

"You're such a dick." you moaned.

He smirked against your breast, "You're about to take my—"

"—Don't finish that fucking sentence, Sai."

Soft moans fell from your lips as you wrapped your legs around his waist again and pulled him closer to you. He groaned against your skin as the cameras picked up every noise, every movement, every kiss. You ran your nails down his back, surely leaving marks in its wake. His grip on your hips was almost punishing, as if he wanted there to be bruises the next day.

"And cut! Great work, guys. Ten minute break and we'll shoot it again."

Tom immediately got off of you and sat to the side of the bed before looking at you with concern, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

You let out a laugh before shaking your head, "No, you didn't hurt me. Dap me up." you held out your hand and he stared confused.

"What you up?" he chuckled.

You smiled before lifting his hand and doing the movements for him, "Just like that." he finally got it down and smiled.

"You Americans are definitely odd." he teased.

You tossed him a wink as an assistant handed you a robe, "See you in ten, Holland."

"And that's the handshake. It's not really a handshake, more of a greeting. I just did it after our first intimate scene because Tom was acting weird and I didn't want things to be awkward." you explained with a shrug as Adrien and Tom laughed.

Tom nodded, "I thought I hurt her! So I asked if I did and all she said was 'dap me up', like, what?" he laughed with you.

"You guys have really great chemistry on and off screen." Adrien complimented making your cheeks heat up.

You nodded, "Thank you. It took a lot of work to break through his industrial ego." you joked with an exhausted sigh as Adrien laughed.

Tom gasped beside you, "I do not have an industrial ego!"

"Mhm, sure." you joked before reaching over and giving Tom's thigh a gentle squeeze, "I meant indestructible."

Tom huffed and crossed his arms, "This is bullying."

Adrien laughed again, "We have to talk about something," he started and you already knew what was coming, "Lots of fans have speculated that the romance on screen carries on off screen." he smirked.

You and Tom laughed nervously. Almost awkwardly.

The situations that you went through with Tom while filming definitely built your relationship with him and strengthened it. In all honesty, you didn't know if the feelings you had for him were reciprocated.

In Tom's head, he was adamant that you had no feelings for him beyond the big screen. Both of you were too timid to confess first. His feelings for you developed a few weeks into filming and since then have only gotten stronger as your friendship grew and you spent more time together.

The amount of times that this topic had been brought up today was tiring. Every answer was the same: "No, no. We're just really good friends."

You decided to joke around, "Honestly, I've asked Tom out at least twenty times and he keeps rejecting me." you pouted and sniffled.

Adrien let out a joyous laugh as Tom gasped and choked on air at your words.

"That is not true! She has never asked me out!" he defended himself.

You shook your head with a deep frown, "He's broken my heart too many times. This is probably my last time acting with him." you continued on with the joke.

Tom shook his head furiously, "That is one hundred percent false. If she had asked me out, we would already be dating." he let the words fall from his lips without a second thought.

You fought the instinct to snap your head towards him. His confession catching you off guard. You played it off with another pout and shrug. Unsure if he was joining in on the prank or not.

Adrien raised a suggestive eyebrow, "What I'm hearing is that Y/N just needs to ask you out and we have our new couple."

You fake gasped, "Why do I have to ask him out? He should be asking me out with a million roses and a horse drawn carriage." you flipped your hair over your shoulder.

"You don't even like roses." Tom laughed, "You like dandelions because they turn into those fluffy things that you can make a wish with." he remembered the information off of the top of his head, "And because it sounds like you're saying 'dandy lions' when you say their name."

You nodded with a smile, "A million dandelions then. And maybe I'll think about it." you joked with a yawn making the two men laugh.

"You heard it here first. We have a new couple on the rise. Tom just needs to find a million dandelions and a horse drawn carriage." Adrien laughed again.

Tom scoffed dramatically, "Find? I already have them in my garage, ready to go."

Adrien cheered as you felt a heat creep up your neck, "Did I say dandelions? I meant daisies."

"Got those, too." Tom smirked making you roll your eyes.

"Okay, we need to end this interview before Tom buys all the flowers in Berlin." you joked.

After the interview ended, you said your goodbyes to Adrien and the crew before you and Tom made your way back to your temporary hotel suite for the week of press junkets.

Tom walked you to your room, stopping at the door, "That was an odd interview." he chuckled.

You nodded, "Indeed. It was fun, though." you smiled and he returned the expression.

There was an awkward beat of silence before he spoke again, "T-that whole asking me out thing. You were kidding, right? Like, just a show for the cameras?" he laughed nervously.

You swallowed air before replying with a timid smile, "Y-yeah. Totally. Just for the fans." you nodded again, "Um, I should head to bed. More interviews tomorrow. See you in the morning." you gave him a little wave before turning to your door and pulling out your key.

He nodded with the smallest of pouts before turning on his heel and starting the walk back to his suite.

Just as your hand was turning the knob, Tom's voice called out to you again.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" he spoke in one breath.

You bit your lip to conceal your smile, but it was no use. His question sparked a flame in your stomach that wasn't dying out anytime soon.

You turned with a bright grin, "I'd love to."

His features went from pure fright to relief in a matter of seconds, "G-great. I'll- uh, I'll text you the details. Goodnight." he gave you a little salute making you laugh.

"Sounds good. Night, Holland." you nodded your head before entering your hotel room.

You leaned against the door as soon as it shut. A euphoric glow radiating off of you. You were going on a date with Tom Holland.

Tom happily punched the air. Skipping down the hallway, a new found joy in his step. Chris Hemsworth walked out of his room and examined the gleeful boy.

"What's got you all smiley?" he chuckled.

Tom stopped and smiled, staring at the ceiling, "I just got myself a date."

Chris raised an impressed eyebrow before laughing, "You really are Peter Parker. Night, kid."

"Goodnight, Chris." Tom's smile never faded as he made his way back to his suite.

Not even ten minutes had gone by since he last spoke to you and he already missed you. He pulled out his phone and pressed on your contact.

Tom: sorry i didn't have any dandelions. hope you can make an exception x

Y/N: i suppose but the horse drawn carriage is a must x

1K notes · View notes

nikkoliferous · 4 years

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Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram:

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all.

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy

Just wanna remind everyone that this

is why he’s smiling during this scene

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring.

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger

Honestly, though, big mood.

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway.

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather.

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is.

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess…

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD.

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit.

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don��t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

#phase one: thor #loki meta #thor meta #odin's a+ parenting #frigga's b+ parenting #topic: thor and loki's broken relationship #loki #thor #heimdall #lady sif #the warriors 3 #jane foster #ragnarok cinematic universe #mcu #topic: asgardian hypocrisy #topic: asgardian militarism #topic: odin's family dynamic

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sidecarghost · 4 years

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Suptober20 - Day 28 Hellscape

Fic Summary: Among Us Crossover AU where Dean is a crewmate headed to the Polus outpost on the frozen hellscape of Mars. But he may not make it there alive, because someone in their crew is an imposter that enjoys chopping humans into small pieces.

Dean opens the electrical panel in the navigation room, and reaches in to his toolbox for a voltage detector. He wills his hands to be steady, but he is a nervous wreck. Dean is worried about the success of this mission, the safety of his crewmates, and his chances of survival. He is on a supposedly routine mission to prepare the latest Mars colony for habitation, but his crewmates keep getting chopped into pieces. Out of the original ten person crew, only seven are still alive. The PA system crackles to life, "Dead body reported! Dead body reported!" Dean dashes to the cafeteria where the rest of his crewmates have gathered to discuss. "I saw Kelly standing over the dead body!" Kaia yells. "I was upset! Donatello had been cut in half. I'll try to remember to skip the tears after you get murdered," Kelly responds. "Kelly sounds pretty sus to me," Benny sneers. "Where was the body found?" Castiel asks. "In the reactor room," Kaia replies. "Okay, everyone listen up! Someone in this room is an imposter masquerading among us, and it falls on us to discover the truth and identify the cold-blooded killer before they can strike again," Kevin tells his crewmates. "Jeez, shouldn't we just turn around and head back to Earth," Dean speaks up. "No, we can handle this ourselves Dean. We can jettison the murderer into space, and then do our mission. Let’s keep it democratic, everyone will have a chance to vote for who they think the murderer is," Kevin speaks authoritatively, but Dean just shakes his head in disbelief. "I vote Kelly," Castiel says. "Well, I vote Castiel," Kelly says with icy disdain. "Kelly," Benny states. "Kelly," Kaia says. "Yeah, I think Kelly too." Kevin says. Everyone looks to Dean to cast his vote. "What? It sounds like you've already decided," Dean complains. "Everyone has to vote Dean." Kevin tells him.

"Okay, I vote Castiel," Dean says. Just something about Castiel seems a little bit off. Like he's playing at being human, but doesn't quite understand the rules. Of course, he could just be socially awkward, and if that is the case, then Dean feels pretty lousy of accusing him of murder. "It's decided then,” Kevin says matter of factly. “Kelly has been found guilty by the majority of her peers, so by the authority granted to me by the HostCorp you will be executed by ejection into the vacuum of space. May God have mercy on your soul." Kelly resists, but she is roughly pushed into the decompression chamber that provides ingress and egress for the spaceship. Dean watches her face stare back at them haughtily. Kevin opens the outer bay doors, and her body is sucked into the void of space. "Great, now that the murderer is gone. We all have tasks to do. Let's get them done so we can make safe landing on Mars," Kevin commands the crew. ~~ Maybe Kevin had been right after all, Dean thinks to himself. The ship had just landed safely on the Polus station on Mars. And after sending Kelly into space, there had been no more murders although there had been a couple close calls with damaged systems. For instance, the O2 system failed and they just managed to get it rebooted before they all died of oxygen deprivation. Then the reactor had nearly melted down, which would also have caused the catastrophic death of the entire crew. But the cursed crew managed to land at the outpost against all odds. "I'm going to report to HQ. Check your tablets for your tasks crewmates," Kevin tells everyone after they disembark the spaceship. Dean looks out at the frozen wasteland of Polus. The space station is on the northern pole of Mars, and it reminds him of the old expression of "when hell freezes over." He powers up his tablet, and pulls up his task list. One of the tasks catches his eye, "Monitor Tree." That sounds like an easy, short task to knock out first. And he is feeling sentimental about getting to see things from Earth like a tree and grass. Dean pulls up his map to find the O2 laboratory, so he can find his way around the unfamiliar outpost. Dean enters the O2 lab, and he breathes in deeply the fresh air from the vegetation. He walks up to the monitor panel and makes the necessary adjustments to bring the readings to the specified levels. He then turns to look at his next task, but he catches some unexpected motion out of the corner of his eye. "Uh, hey Cas. How did you just vent out of that hole? That seems like a pretty impossible thing to be able to do," Dean rambles nervously to the crewmember that just apparated into the room over a hole in the ground. Apparently, Kelly was innocent, because Dean feels certain that Castiel is not what he seems. And Dean is certain he is about to be the imposter’s next victim. "I didn't realize that task was so short," Castiel admits. "But that doesn't matter for you. I hope you had a good life Dean, and if you didn’t you can feel glad that you won’t ever have to suffer again. Your death will be swift and mostly painless, and I think you will find me more merciful than many members of your own species." "So you're not human?" Dean tries to delay the inevitable with banter while he looks around wildly for some kind of weapon. "No, I am an angel of the lord. You are just perceiving my vessel, Jimmy Novak," Castiel replies. "Oh, well your vessel is pretty hot," Dean hopes this imposter can be diverted by flirting. "No, the temperature of my vessel is 37 degrees Celsius or 98.7 degrees Fahrenheit. That is within normal range for a human." Castiel tells Dean. "I meant you're vessel is very attractive," Dean can't tell if the angel is messing with him or not. But he thinks anything is better than getting chopped into pieces, so he can play along if that gives him a chance to prolong his life. "I'm above mundane things like physical attraction, Dean," Castiel says. "I just like killing humans for sport, but Heaven usually notices, and then I get thrown in the dungeon to stew for a millenia or two. But Heaven doesn't seem to care what happens to humans outside of Earth." "That sounds very clever of you to figure out Cas," Dean tells Castiel. "Yes, I do like to think of myself as the cleverest angel of the garrison," Castiel puffs up with pride and nods in agreement with Dean. "Can I ask why kill humans for sport? Can't you take up frisbee golf or something else less homicidal?" Dean asks the imposter. "I was given the task of watching humanity a long, long time ago. And humans can be so boring. So I just randomly kill a bunch every now and then. There is no malice in my actions. I just consider humanity to be on the level of ants, but maybe lower because I actually have a fondness for insects." Castiel discloses to Dean. "That sounds very reasonable, Cas. But you know some humans can be the total opposite of boring," Dean says while considering his next move. Okay, Dean thinks, if movies have taught me anything, it’s that getting a villain to monologue usually gives the good guy a chance to win. If he can just get Castiel to ramble, he can probably escape alive and report Castiel to the crew or maybe even slay the imposter himself. "I suppose you want me to believe you are one of those non-boring humans," Castiel comments and tilts his head to one side considering Dean. "Yup! Today is your lucky day, Cas. Because I am the most non-boring human since the dawn of Creation." Dean sells his lie with confidence. He would have thought his life before was very boring, but how many humans have to outsmart a homicidal angel. Maybe he is more non-boring than he realized. "Okay, I'm waiting to be entertained." Castiel tells Dean. Shit, this guy just doesn't want to monologue, Dean thinks to himself. So Dean needs some way to entertain an angel before he becomes sliced and diced all over the O2 laboratory. He vaguely remembers a story about a lady that had to tell her captor 1,001 tales to avoid death. Maybe if he can tell enough stories he can make it off this Hell rock in one piece after all. "Have you ever heard the tale of the Killer Stuffed Dinosaur in Love?" Dean asks the imposter. "No, but I'll admit it does sound entertaining," Castiel relaxes and sits in the grass with his legs criss-crossed, and looks expectantly at Dean to start. Dean begins to weave his story, and keeps careful watch of Castiel. He vigilantly watches the angel for some sign of momentary distraction, so he can seize the chance to raise an alarm or make a run for it. But in the meantime, he remembers back to storytime with his mom. When he and his brother would sit up in their beds to listen to their mom tell fantastic stories about witches, vampires, ghouls, wendigos, demons, ghosts, werewolves, fairies, and magic. And his mom told them with such love and care that he never felt bored by them. On the contrary, they were warm, fluffy comforts when reality did the best to beat him down. If anything could save him now, he was hopeful it would be the love of his mother that would keep him safe from the homicidal monster waiting for him to fail. “Dead body reported!” the PA system crackles. “Umm... is there more than one of you on this outpost?” Dean asks Castiel. “No, but I did kill Benny before venting into the O2 lab,” Castiel confesses. “I am hoping I can rely on your discretion at the discussion.” “Uh, sure Cas,” Dean lies. Castiel disappears through the hole in the ground somehow. Dean walks over to the hole in the ground, but nothing magical happens to help him teleport through it. Dean decides lying to a homicidal angel is okay, because he is going to meet up with his crew and tell everyone Castiel is in fact the imposter. Dean is the last crewmate to join the discussion. “So there is only four of us left, Kaia was with me until we stumbled on Benny’s body. So the murderer must be Castiel or Dean,” Kevin declares. “Maybe he died of natural causes,” Castiel suggests. “Really? You think his body naturally got sliced to ribbons?” Kaia shouts. “Uh, it seems possible, even if it’s not probable.” Castiel says thoughtfully. “Guys, it was Castiel. He has been the imposter all along. He was going to kill me in the O2 laboratory,” Dean tells the crew. Castiel cocks an eyebrow at Dean, but says nothing in his own defense. “I don’t know Dean. I think the murderer would be eager to cast shade on other crew mates. How do we know we can trust you?” Kevin says. “I can’t believe you have been chopping up people Dean. What kind of a person does that!?!” Kaia shakes her head in disapproval. “Look! I’m telling you the truth. Castiel is an Angel of the Lord, and he is supposed to be watching humanity. But I guess he thinks watching humanity like a reality tv show is boring, so he likes to mix things up with murder sprees,” Dean tells them. “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, Dean,” Kevin says. “I vote Dean,” Kaia says. “I vote Castiel of course!” Dean tells the crew passionately. “I vote Dean,” Kevin says. “I vote Kevin,” Castiel tells the crew. “Dean, you have been found--”, Kevin begins, but is interrupted by getting murdered by Castiel. “Oh shit! Castiel was the imposter!” Kaia runs screaming out of the room. Dean is not sure what just happened. Did Castiel save him from death by space vacuum, or did his bloodthirsty tendencies just kick in? Dean wonders. Dean stumbles out of the room, and sees Castiel standing over the corpse of Kaia. “So, Cas... any reason in particular why you killed my crewmates?” Dean asks the angel. “They were going to execute you. They were not fit to be your judge and executioner,” Castiel says. “You bravely spoke the truth, even though I had threatened your life. It reminded me of the dinosaur, in your story, that bravely stood up to the menacing spider king to save the trans princess after she had been cursed into the shape of a frog. Although, I think the princess should have been able to save herself, a frog should be able to eat a spider.” “Well, it was a very large spider,” Dean laughs. It was kind of nice that the killer angel had in fact been paying attention to his fairy tale made up in desperation. “So, what happens now Castiel?” Dean asks the homicidal angel. “I don’t know. I had expected to have been ejected out of the space station by now, but the vacuum of space won’t kill me. There are very few things that will kill an angel,” Castiel muses. “I don’t suppose you will tell me about the things that can kill an angel,” Dean says doubtfully. “Stabbed in a vital area by an angel blade, attempting to exit a ring of holy fire, certain spells from a powerful enough book of witchcraft, a stronger cosmic being like leviathans, archangels, Death, God, Darkness, or the Cosmic Entity,” Castiel enumerates the means of his destruction. “Darn, it appears I left my leviathan in my other pants. I guess you win this round Castiel. Uh, thanks for saving me for last I guess. Do you think I will go to Heaven?” Dean asks. “My mother, she passed away, and she was such a kind person I’m sure she is in Heaven. Sometimes I feel like she is just behind me watching over me, and if I can just turn fast enough I will catch a glimpse of her.” “That’s a nice sentiment Dean,” Castiel says. “But I’m not able to predict where human souls will go when their physical body is dead. I am also not fit to be anyone’s judge. But I can check if your mother, Mary Winchester, is in Heaven.” Castiel disappears before Dean gets a chance to ask how the angel knew his mother’s name, but maybe that was just an angel thing. Dean heads to the maintenance shed to get a shovel. He wants to dig suitable graves for Kevin and Kaia. Paying his respects is the most he can do for them now. Dean is patting the soil flat on top of the graves after burying his crewmates, and he wonders if Castiel is ever planning on coming back or if he found more unsuspecting humans to murder. He decides to go back to the O2 lab and rest under the tree. The lab is comforting and fills his thoughts with childhood memories of climbing trees with Sammy in the woods and late nights playing manhunt with the neighbors. Castiel would definitely find his childhood version of manhunt boring, basically it was just hide and seek in the dark, but when you were a kid late nights outside just felt liberating. “You’re mother and father are in a shared Heaven, Dean,” Castiel reports. “Oh, hey Cas,” Dean looks up from where he was dozing by the roots. “Thanks for looking into it for me. I think I’m ready to be killed now. I know you can’t tell me where my soul will go, but I’m at peace with this being the end. I would have liked a longer life, but no one ever promised me life was fair. And I have had a really good life so far. Just try to look out for Sam Winchester if you can. Maybe I can call him one more time and warn him to stay out of space, so you don’t end up hunting him during one of your murder sprees. I’d rather he lived a long time and died an old man.” “That’s not necessary Dean,” Castiel says staring down at where Dean is still dozing. “I think I will give murder a break. I would have stopped earlier, but Kaia and Kevin presented a threat to your safety.” “Okay, Cas,” Dean says unsure how much he can trust the words of this cold-blooded angel. “I think it’s very nice of you to give up killing humans for a bit. Did I tell you my brother Sammy gave up eating meat? He’s a vegetarian. I think you would really like Sammy, because everyone likes him. He is the best man I have ever known.” “He sounds very impressive then,” Castiel agrees. “If you don’t feel like killing me, are we just going to keep hanging out together on Polus?” Dean asks. “I guess so,” Castiel nods. “I haven’t really thought things through.” “Okay, I’m really beat after everything today Cas. I need to get some sleep,” Dean says while stifling a yawn. “I’ll watch over you then,” Castiel says. “That is so random of you Cas,” Dean mumbles. “How did you just go from angel of death to guardian angel? I’m not complaining though, I like being alive. I definitely prefer being alive with guardian angel beside me to dead with killer angel beside me.” “Here Dean, I got you a pillow and blanket. I think these things make sleeping more comfortable for humans,” Castiel drops the mentioned objects where Dean is laying down. “Yeah, your thinking was right. Very comfortable for humans,” Dean mumbles as he wraps himself into a cocoon in the blanket. “Today was so random. If I wake up and you kill me tomorrow, no hard feelings okay Cas? Like I’m not going to pretend I’m something special and that a crazy, killer angel would be reformed after having one conversation with me.” “Okay, Dean that seems fair,” Castiel nods. Then Castiel sits in the grass besides Dean, and he watches over the human as he snores peacefully. Hanging out with Dean sounded like a nice change of pace for the killer angel. And he cast out his mind to pinpoint where Sam Winchester was on Earth. It sounded like the health and safety of Sam was important to Dean, so that made it important to Castiel, too.

#suptober20 #destiel #destiel fic #spn

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anhed-nia · 4 years

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BLOGTOBER 10/8/2020: PELICAN BLOOD (2019)

If you are reading this and the present date is between October 8 and 11 of 2020, please consider buying a virtual ticket to see Katrin Gebbe’s PELICAN BLOOD, available on demand through the Nightstream festival:

https://watch.eventive.org/nightstream/play/5f6e7e78d6a9bf0036613fa3

I am about to discuss this movie and its conclusion in great detail, but it would be much better for a person to come to it in innocence--not because it’s so reliant on anything as gauche as surprise, but because it is so thoroughly excellent that wading through a movie review first would be like letting your dinner grow cold. And, it simply deserves our support.

When I saw PELICAN BLOOD last year at Fantastic Fest, it became one of my favorite movies before it was even over. I might admit that this was sort of a match made in heaven, as this movie checks almost every one of my personal boxes, but I don’t think my assessment of its value is a simple matter of personal prejudice. I’ve been haunted by it all these months, and deeply worried that somehow I might never see it again. When I discovered that it had landed on Nightstream, I was over the moon.

This is writer-director Katrin Gebbe's second feature, a fact that will astonish you when you see it. Last Blogtober, I wrote about her first feature TORE TANZT, which has the troubling english title NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN. That intense indie drama concerns a born-again christian punk who wishes for an opportunity to prove his devotion to god, and finds it in the form of a family that invites him in off the streets, and then proceeds to torture him. That's an oversimplification of what actually occurs, but it is a film that's hard to be brief about. It's cheap and a little rough around the edges, but it is deliberate, intense, and difficult to forget. (In fact it's supposed to be based on a true story, although I haven't managed to pick up that trail) When I first saw it, it certainly made me wonder what else that director might be up to, and I was astounded when I found out. 2019's PELICAN BLOOD emerged six years after TORE TANZT, with little in between besides a television episode and a segment in the anthology THE FIELD GUIDE TO EVIL, and yet Gebbe's artistic evolution is dumbfounding. Her themes are all unmistakably present--faith versus doubt, mystical versus metaphorical experience, and physical martyrdom--but exploded into a grand, elegant psychodrama that holds the viewer captive every minute of its two hours.

Celebrated german actress Nina Hoss plays Wiebke, a stable owner who trains police horses to tolerate the frightening conditions of a riot. She lives at the edge of her pasture, raising her tween daughter Nicolina (Adelia-Constance Giovanni Ocleppo) on her own. Wiebke has a talent for healing the wounded, or perhaps it's more of a calling; she raised Nicolina, a bulgarian orphan, into a bright, balanced, emotionally available tomboy, and the two of them joyfully anticipate the arrival of Nicolina's new adoptive sister. When little Raya arrives (Katerina Lipovska), she first presents as sweet, even solicitous, needing only a mother's love to fully bloom. However, as soon as she determines that she is welcome and wanted, she undergoes a disturbing transformation into a violent and unpredictable creature, possessed by an abject hatred. Wiebke recognizes that her new child is seriously traumatized, which activates her sense of purpose, and she pledges herself fully to the child's recovery--despite the admonishments of Raya's daycare, her doctors, and virtually everyone around them, that the little girl is beyond all but clinical help, and even that promises no guarantee of salvation. Refusing to give up, Wiebke makes a series of increasingly dangerous personal sacrifices in Raya's name, until finally she finds herself at the doorway to what some consider another world, but what is to others only madness.

Gebbe won Best Director in the main competition at Fantastic Fest, and it would have been a crime if this were otherwise. Her control over what are essentially forces of nature is humbling. Extracting a profoundly moving drama from a cast of adult actors is challenging enough on its own, but to get these terrifyingly convincing performances from children, evoking deep trauma and physical violence to self and others, is another level. As if this weren't enough, Gebbe adds animals into the mix, giving the story of Raya a parallel in the troubled career of a police horse who is considered a lost cause by all but Wiebke. The training scenes in which Wiebke guides the volatile animal through fire and smoke, while her own lifeforce is being progressively depleted by her new child, are as harrowing as anything having to do with parenthood, and Wiebke seems to take the horse just as seriously as her child. Friendly single dad Benedikt (Murathan Muslu) tries to flirt with the trainer by remarking on her unusual career, but she spits bitterly, "The horses are not the problem," giving us a glimpse of the philosophy that drives her.

Another of my favorite german films is Werner Herzog's 1976 short NO ONE WILL PLAY WITH ME. This funny and poignant story involves a bullied and neglected little boy, and it is preceded by a card displaying the adage "There are no bad children, only bad parents." This is the principle that drives Wiebke in work and life: Those who are seen as failures, have been failed by others. One has the sense that Wiebke sees herself in these wretches. She has no partner, and balks at questions about her relationship history, shying from physical affection even with people she knows and likes. A tell-tale scar graces one cheekbone; when she finally begins to welcome the benign Benedikt's advances, he strokes it instead of kissing her, acknowledging that he can see who she really is.

Wiebke tries to extend this same empathy toward Raya, refusing to let the child bait her into wrath and rejection. However, this show of pure faith and tolerance does not work, and the right approach becomes less clear as Raya begins to blame her mounting acts of vandalism, arson and assault on an evil entity that controls her will. A psychiatrist aprises Wiebke that this is the "magic period", in which the child uses magical thinking to divert feelings of guilt and responsibility. But, after a fashion, Wiebke begins to sense this malevolent presence as well. Is this etheric intrusion real? Or is she beginning to empathize with the child--with the experience of grappling with a damaged part of yourself--to the point of dissolving boundaries?

The title of the movie refers to a fable about a pelican whose chicks die, and she resurrects them by feeding them her own blood. This is a clear metaphor for Wiebke's trial with Raya, that becomes shockingly literal when, after endangering her home and relationships by prioritizing the new child, Wiebke places her own health on the line by taking an unregulated drug to give herself a bizarre advantage. When Wiebke discovers the shocking nature of Raya's original trauma, she experiments with the radical idea of treating the girl like a little baby, hoping to start from square one with her capacity to be mothered, and in the service of this dreadful proposition, Wiebke starts taking a lactation-inducing pill that proves to be an immediate risk to her health, and puts her in an even more perilous position with Raya.

Although it focuses on a preternaturally devoted mother, PELICAN BLOOD recalls what makes movies like HEREDITARY and WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN so potent. We have the idea that in becoming parents, we are perpetuating our own essence, extending our history and celebrating the precious connection of blood, which is supposed to impart an automatic same-ness. Unfortunately, this only shakes out to arrogance for many, denying the quirks of psychology, chemistry, and the unique impact of trauma--even if minor, or explainable as something benign--on a mind too young to fully comprehend the nature of the experience. Even without abuse in the home, anyone can have a child less like themselves than they could have ever imagined, for reasons beyond their own control. In all this, the child is innocent, and it is the duty of the parent to prioritize the child's feelings, over the vanity of wanting an heir to your own best qualities. Wiebke sacrifices not only her vanity, but potentially her very life, to show Raya love. When this blood sacrifice does not work, Wiebke finds herself facing the realm of alternative belief as a last resort.

The introduction of PELICAN BLOOD's folk horror element can seem a little left field, if you haven't noted the clues scattered throughout the film. Before the revelation of Raya's boogeyman, Wiebke begins to discover evidence of an old pagan tradition still being practiced around her proverbial neck of the woods. Soon, she tentatively entrusts herself and her child to a local witch, who puts them through a harrowing exorcism. Though the process is uncertain at first, its impact forces Wiebke into a direct acknowledgment of the entity harassing her daughter. And ultimately, it awakens in Raya a capacity for love.

While the reality of the supernatural in PELICAN BLOOD remains in question, I think the effect of this ambiguity is specifically meaningful. I usually scoff at any type of "was it all a dream?" nonsense, as this is a tactic employed by directors who think their greatest accomplishment should be getting one over on the audience. I don't see any inherent value in simply reversing the apparent meaning of things, just to make people feel stupid--and worse, this has trained modern audiences to try to defensively predict the least likely ending to any story, instead of just engaging with it emotionally as it plays out. For this reality-bending trick to be worth anything, one must be able to answer questions like, IF this was all a dream, THEN what meaning is added to the story?

In PELICAN BLOOD, the unresolved question of whether magic is real is of great relevance to the whole concept of belief. Human beings crave extranormal experience; we're deeply attracted to tales of ghosts, UFOs, mythical creatures, and parapsychological abilities. Even the skeptics among us enjoy arguing about these things, and many regular folks without eccentric interests read their horoscope "just for fun". Most telling of all is the enduring popularity of stories about the strange and unusual, which require no particular belief system from the audience; the fantasy of this extra dimension to our mundane lives is just so satisfying. Despite all the pleasure we get from these ideas, though, we tend to cling first and foremost to objective truth; we tell ourselves that if there is no "proof", then an outrageous thing cannot exist. But, this is actually contrary to many of our lived experiences. On the basest level, we delight at videos of insane parkour stunts, at the same time that we say these guys are "like" superheroes, but are actually just guys. My question is, what's the difference? If a person can achieve physical feats that most of us can never imagine attempting, then what difference does it make that this person was not bitten by a radioactive spider? If a fortune teller in a carnival is so good at "cold reading" strangers that she gives the effect of being able to read minds, then what is the appreciable difference between a carny and a "real psychic"? If a faith healer "just convinces" someone to become free from a chronic ailment, and the patient goes on to live a happier life, who cares if no "real magic" was in evidence? What is the difference between exorcism and hypnosis, if the end result is the same for a seriously disturbed child and her mother? The only difference appears to be some material confirmation of specific mystical forces and substances--which, admittedly, would be exciting on its own--but this would still only be an alternative version of the events that led up to the same "miraculous" result. We only worry about the existence of God and magic because our definitions of these things tend to be limited to what we think of as literal and scientific. But, if the correct effects manifest themselves, then all that is purely cosmetic. Belief is real. Faith works.

#blogtober #2020 #pelican blood #pelican blood 2020 #katrin gebbe #nina hoss #Adelia-Constance Giovanni Ocleppo #Murathan Muslu #Katerina Lipovska #drama #folk horror #witch #witchcraft #exorcism #possession

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lightanddarklove · 5 years

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Connverse Week Day 2: Singing

Singing while Sloshed

Rated: Teen | Tw: Drinking/ Drunkenness

This is obscenely long for what was supposed to be a drabble so I'm just going to link @susoftjockau, they’re incredibly wholesome and cute.

Edit: I may have gotten a few things wrong because I posted at 3 am, & this is an unbeta’d work. Also, being that I am not affiliated with the SJ AU, I don’t know if Fiona’s personality at all fits within its standard. If there’s another cheerleader character that her actions would make more sense for, I can totally change it. Its Connverse focused after all.

The first song Steven's riffing on is "It's Only Love" (though you may know it as Michelle) by The Beatles. The second song is "Love Like You," Steven Universe's extended credits theme.

I am continuing this for thursday’s prompt, together, as I orginally wanted them to have a conversation in the morning but at 3 am I had to call this done. I wrote over 4k words in one day that I was off from work and I can’t be doing that again, or staying up later, haha.

Lastly, the idea that Steven only likes sweet alcoholic bevs is hardwired into me, as someone who hates beer and wine, I think he wouldn't like them either. I mean he doesn't like energy drinks for stars sake (he makes a face when drinking one in Kevin Party), what about beer would be appealing when he can have wine coolers and ciders?

Anyway, feedback makes me smile, even if you tell me about typos or that I could be doing something better. Please let me know of I neglected any tags I should mention. Thanks for reading!

Edit 2: Tumblr mobile ate this post so when I got back home and tried to fix i the format didn’t have my readmore, so if you reblog it won’t be as much of a wall of text anymore. Sorry!

A night at a party for College-age Steven and Connie results in one too strong drink, a clumsy walk home, and embracing each other through the tears. Hurt-Comfort in the Soft Jock AU. Established relationship, but no significant physical intimacy. Rated T for drinking and one use of mild language. Some depression talk and self esteem issues too. Teen.

Steven had been sitting at a table, enjoying the music and sipping a soda in a red plastic cup until all that was left was ice. He was waiting for Connie to finish her conversation with Natalie across the room. He bobbed his head lightly to the music playing from the speaker by the doorway. He was smiling at Connie until Fiona came to sit down in front of him. He sat up a bit straighter and looked at her.

“Hey Fiona,” he said.

“You sticking around, Universe? Or you itching to get out of here,” asked Fiona.

“I wouldn’t say I’m itching to get out of here,” he replied. “But Connie and I were looking to leave soon.”

“Do you want another drink before you go?”

“Well, I did already have 2 wine coolers earlier, so I think I’m done for the night.”

“Really,” she asked. “I mean, how long ago was that? Like 10?”

“10:30,” he replied. “But I have to get home soon, anyway.”

“That was almost 2 hours ago.” She said. “You can have another drink. I’ll be right back, wait here. You like soda and orange flavor, right?” She began to stand and he tried to wave her back.

“Don’t trouble yourself for me, Fiona.”

“If you like soda and fruit juices, you’ll like it. You can barely taste the alcohol, the way I make it. Don’t go anywhere, I’ll make one for each of us.”

“Well, ok.”

She disappeared into the kitchen, just past the speakers. He tapped his foot and glanced back to Connie, who had leaned into Natalie as their conversation continued. Natalie had on a wry expression as she finished telling Connie something, and Connie threw her head back and laughed. It was nice to see Connie be more comfortable with herself after a few years in college. To see her laughing at a party and not have himself be the cause of it was a good feeling. Steven can’t help but feel his chest swell with pride. He smiled at her but didn’t try to get her attention yet.

With a clink, a glass was set down in front of him, Fiona sliding in from his peripherals. The drink didn’t look bubbly, a brown-orange tone with a few ice cubes and a lemon wedge hung over its rim. The glass looked like a juice glass, not designed to hold over 10 ounces, and it wasn’t full, so he assumed it was about a 6 to 8 oz drink. Fiona had her glass in her hand as she sat next to Steven with smirk.

“Ready to try something new, Steven?” Fiona asked. “Take a sip without the lemon first, then squirt it if you want it more sour.” She raised her glass, waiting to have him give her a cheers with his.

He lifted the drink and clinked hers, quietly saying “Cheers,” before bringing it to his lips. Sweet and sour was the first flavor he noted, and then mostly orange, with some cola blending in and a minor alcoholic tang. He was pretty sure the base of the liquor was tequila, but there were other flavors he couldn’t identify, since he was pretty new to trying drinks. He nodded and smiled after the first sip. “It’s good.”

“You like?” Fiona replied, voice coy.

“Yeah,” he said, and with two gulps his drink was almost gone. She snorted, seeing how quick he had downed the cocktail. He gasped quietly, the burn in his throat stronger than the flavors had made it out to be.

“Careful there, Universe, or you’ll be on the floor,” Fiona remarked. “You aren’t a lightweight, are you?”

“Its fine,” he replied, downing the last sip. His eyes drifted back to Connie who was quickly approaching from across the room, brows knitted in concern, and Natalie behind her. He moved to stand from the stool and stumbled slightly, not expecting to be feeling the alcohol so quickly. Connie moved her arms to steady him.

“You ok?” she asked, eyeing him over. Steven gave a dopey smile and leaned on her slightly.

“Heeeeeyyyy Connieeee,” his voice turning sultry and mellow. His lowered pitch sent a chill up her spine, but she pushed the feeling that thrilled her down and rounded on Fiona, glaring.

“What did you give him?” Connie barked.

“It looked like a Long Island Iced Tea,” Natalie said from behind Connie.

“I call it…” Fiona replied, pausing for effect and waving her half-finished drink in one hand, “a Strong Island Iced Tea. It’s got more tequila and sours than the standard.”

“A Long Island Iced Tea,” Connie half-shouted, exasperated. “Are you kidding me, Fiona? That has 5 kinds of alcohol in it!”

“Whoa,” Steven remarked quietly but with his lowered tone it made Connie feel warm in the pit of her stomach. “I didn’t know that. You’re so smart, Connie.” Her cheeks burned with blush as he said it with such adoration.

“He’s hammered,” Natalie crooned, half-way hiding a chuckle, before straightening up and gesturing her hand out. “Gimmie his keys. He shouldn’t be driving anywhere tonight.”

“I’m not hammered, jus’ a lil’ tipsy.” He slurred. He swayed slightly as Connie fished through his Jacket pocket. “Gimme an hour and I’ll be fiinnneee.”

“Definitely not,” she replied firmly, but not harshly. She handed Natalie Steven’s car keys. “You can stay with me tonight, ok? Sleepover?” He gasped with excitement.

“Sleepover!” he warbled hazily. “With Connie. You’re so sweet.” Her face felt hotter, as she gripped his hand in hers.

“Thanks for this, Fiona,” Connie said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “See you later.” Fiona grinned and waved.

“Don’t dare take advantage of him,” Natalie called, starting to walk back toward the party-goers. “I’ll find out. And make sure he hydrates.” She took out her phone and sent a group text to Steven and Connie, I have your keys, come get them after you’ve slept it off.

“I got this,” Connie replied, exasperation clear in her tone. She looked back in his face at his reddening eyes and put on a plating smile, trying to speak more kindly. “Let’s go get some rest, ok? You look tired.”

“You’re the best, Connie.” He said, glowing with inebriation. She began to lead him out when he started to serenade her, causing her mild blush to spread to her ears, face beet red. The tune was recognizable, a reworked Beatles cover.

“Connie, my sweet

You have made my heart feel joy complete

My Connie.”

“He doesn’t normally do this in front of others,” she called, voice slightly shaken with embarrassment to the partygoers as she led him through the entryway. “Please ignore us and have a good night.” They passed through the main doorway of the off campus housing as he continued his song.

“Connie, my sweet

Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble

Tres bien ensemble”

His French pronunciation was faltering. She knew he was at an intermediate Italian level. But in trying to speak French, it sounded like he had tried Duolingo for an hour and was making a fool of himself pretending he had been doing it his whole life. He pitched forward again and she had to nearly dive to keep him upright. She hoisted as much of his broad shoulders and chest over her smaller frame without attempting to carry him outright as he sang sweetly in her ear, legs stumbling behind her.

“I love you, I love you, I love you

That's all I want to say

Until I find a way

I will say the only words I know that you'll understand”

She lead him on sidewalks, trying to take the most direct route to her dorm and avoiding uneven surfaces as best she could. Her blush had died down, mainly because other people weren’t watching them. The way his warm frame leaned against her dragging the thrilling feeling out of her again, making her heart pound firmly against her ribs. Still, she tried to keep focus and lead them out of the chill night air as quick as she could.

“Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble

Tres bien ensemble

I need to, I need to, I need to

I need to make you see

Oh, what you mean to me

Until I do, I'm hoping you will know what I mean

I love you”

“You’re so sappy,” Connie replied, voice quiet. “I know that you would do his sober, but I just wish this kind of thing was just for the two of us, you know?”

“I want you, I want you, I want you

I think you know by now

I'll get to you somehow

Until I do, I'm telling you so you'll understand”

She leaned against him as she held his hand outside of her dorm, fumbling with her keys as she kept her left hand gripped tight to his right.

“Connie, my sweet

Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble

Tres bien ensemble

And I will say the only words I know that you'll understand

My Connie.”

He faltered a bit as they came through the doorway, smacking his left arm just above his wrist as she lead him upstairs to her room. Connie winced at the sound. She was grateful her roommate Carly was out of town for the evening. She still probably will hear about it, the rumor mill ran strong on this campus, but at least Connie was spared from more embarrassment this evening.

“You done now?” she asked. She sat him down on the bed and dug through her closet for his spare pair of sweatpants she kept there.

“Uh-huh,” Steven replied, voice thick and alluring. “Thanks for takin’ me back, Strawberry, I know you always lookin’ out for me. I’m lucky I have someone like you. Love you.”

She shivered at the praise, avoiding his eyes as she set the pants down on a clean patch of floor.

“You need to drink some water and take some aspirin before bed.” Connie ordered. “Stay put, I’m going to get both of those things.” She pulled her own pajamas from the corner of the bed and closed the bathroom door behind her. She grabbed the aspirin bottle from the cabinet and set it on the counter. Glancing back to ensure that the door was fully closed, she peeled her outfit off quickly and tugged her PJs on. Grabbing her hairbrush and two pills from the bottle of medicine, she backed outside. Steven still sat on the bed, swaying lazily.

“Hiiii Connnniiieeee.” His voice had drawn back up to its usual tenor as he greeted him. She smiled.

“Hi Steven, stay here for a minute, ok?” She replied. “I’m going to the kitchen, and I want you to wait because I don’t want to risk you falling on the stairs.” She placed the brush on the pants she had set out and kept the pills clutched to her palm by her ring and pinky finger.

“Yooooouuuu got it!” He gave a thumbs up.

She darted out of the room after he confirmed he would stay, and hurried down the stairs. She pulled 2 water bottles from the fridge, both eco-friendly bottles that she and Steven had shared before. After grabbing clean reusable straws from the drying rack to put in the bottles, she marched back upstairs. She left her door open and found Steven had taken his shoes and jacket off in the time she was gone. He laid on his stomach, feet crossed and head propped up on his arms across her bed diagonally.

“You’re cute in your PJs, Connie.” He caught her off guard with that compliment. But she crossed the room anyway and sat next to his head. Despite how lucid he sounded, it was best he got some water in him before going to sleep.

“Thanks, but can you sit up for me? I have some medicine I need to give you and then I’ll brush your hair.”

“Yay! Sleepover activities!” He propped himself up onto his elbows and stuck his tongue out, leaning his head back for the aspirins. She was glad he trusted her this much, but it was a bit worrying that he was so lax. She hoped he would always keep himself safe as he dropped the two pills into his open mouth and pressed the straw of the bottle to his tongue. He leaned on one hand as he took the bottle from her in the other, sipping the water through the straw. If he was always this trusting while drunk, someone could take advantage of him, and that thought scared her. She wanted to think about anything else, so she gently took his curls in her hand and gave them a gentle stroke. A chill went along his back and shoulders and he made a little excited noise.

“I want to brush your hair,” she offered. “Can I take your hair tie out?”

“Mmm-hmm,” his response came around the straw. With a gentle tug the hair tie was out and his curls came loose, framing his maturing face. She stood, watching him as she moved toward the brush on the floor. He finished his sip and let out a contented sigh. “I hope I haven’ been too much trouble, Berry.”

“What?” she asked as she got the brush and came back to sit next to him.

“I’m all loopy, an’ you’ve been takin’ care of me.” His response was quiet but mostly coherent.

“I know you would do the same for me, drunk, sick or whatever, Biscuit,” she replied. “I’m not upset that you need help. It’s ok to ask. Now I’m gonna ask that you sit in front of me so I can brush your hair.”

“Kaaay.” He called, setting the water down on her end table. She gasped as he suddenly rolled off the bed and landed on his left forearm and knees, not reacting quite fast enough to catch himself with his hands. It was still impressive he hadn’t fallen onto his face.

“Steven-“Connie scolded.

“Huh?” he sat up and scooted his back up against her knees.

“Don’t be so careless,” she replied. “You scared me. And drink your water, please.”

“I can do that,” he said. He leaned over to grab the bottle and then rested his head touching her knees. She flipped his hair up onto her thighs, accessing the ends and began brushing. He hummed contentedly. “You’re great, Connie. I’m glad that this all didn’ go badly.” Her brows furrowed with concern as she worked through his tangles. “Was scared, ya know? If you weren’ keeping me calm, I might’ve been the angry drunk type, an’ made a mess of things.”

“I-“ Connie felt her hands shake slightly as she tried to muster a response. “That could happen to anybody, you shouldn’t worry too much…”

“Buh my powers, if ‘m not careful, I could hurt somebody, then I’d get expelled, or arrested, fer sure.” She gripped the brush tightly and accidentally pulled back on a knot. He hissed quietly through his teeth and she dropped the brush. His shoulders trembled slightly and she heard a sniff. She dropped down onto her knees, hugging him from behind.

“No Steven,” she replied, her voice thick with emotion. “I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone.” He sniffed again, putting his water down and scrubbed at his face.

“Turns out… I’m actually a sad drunk,” he joked, and turned to face her. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears and he gasped. “Oh nooooo… now I’ve made you sad. I’m sorry. ‘m so sorry. So so sorry.” He turned around fully, kneeling and held her tight to his chest. Fat tears dripped down his cheeks. She clutched to his shirt, resting her head on his shoulder and let her own tears fall.

“You don’t- you shouldn’t feel like it’s- it isn’t your fault,” she stuttered.

“I made you cr-cry,” He bawled. “I’m always hurting people, even wh-when I don’t meeean to.” She took a steadying breath, trying to defuse his turbulent emotions.

“You’re allowed to forgive yourself, Steven,” she replied, looking up. Her eyes still shone with wetness, staring into his face as he looked away.

“I- I- embar- rrassed you, I made you cryyyy, and- nd I burdened you with my prob-blems,” he hiccupped. “I shouldn’ be here- I need to-“He moved to stand but Connie held tight.

“No.” she ordered. “You should stay. You’re upset and you’re allowed to be. You can talk to me about anything. Please don’t go. I’ll worry if you leave.”

“B-B-but…”

“Please,” she repeated.

That was convincing enough. He wilted into her touch, resting his head on her shoulder. Any sign of resistance melted away into fatigue. A few trace sobs shook his frame before they quieted. She kept one hand on his shoulder and grabbed Steven’s water with the other. She pulled away long enough to press the drink into his hands. He nodded, sitting down fully and drinking quietly. She sat in front of him and ran one hand through his hair, and gave him gentle strokes on his upper arm with her opposite arm.

“You look like you’re stewing.” She remarked gently. “Having a few drinks doesn’t make you a bad person. Asking for help doesn’t either. I’ll gladly have a few embarrassing stories about me if it means you get to go home safe tomorrow. Letting you leave by yourself and get hurt would have been far worse than anything else that could have gone wrong. You deserve to be safe, ok?” He nodded meekly, finishing the drink with a loud slurp. “You aren’t asking too much to be here. You don’t deserve to feel like a burden, and no one I know would ever say that about you.” He quietly leaned forward, dropping the empty bottle to the space between his thighs and went to press his forehead to hers. She obliged him.

“Thank you,” he half-whispered.

“Now, are you steady enough to stand, or will you need help getting changed?” she leaned over to where the sweatpants she had put out for him earlier sat and pulled herself close to him after grabbing them. He opened his palms to her and let her place them in his hands.

“I think I got it.” His face was tinged with blush at the suggestion. He pressed his right palm to the floor, moving to stand. She pulled herself to her feet first and offered him a hand up. He threw his pants over his shoulder and took his hand. She smiled gently at him. He fondly returned the gesture, steadily making his way to the bathroom door.

“Oh wait, I just want to grab something out of there,” she called, hurriedly stepping in front of him. She snatched the aspirin off the counter and put it away, grabbing makeup wipes and a compact mirror from her medicine cabinet. She stepped out, gesturing behind her. “It’s all yours. Please be careful, maybe sit on the toilet to get changed? I don’t want you to fall.”

With a sigh he nodded. He stepped through the doorway and closed it behind him. She leaned against the wall next to the door and took a make-up wipe out, swiping her mascara streaked eyes before opening the compact. As she worked the wipe across her face she herd Steven’s gentle singing come through the door, just over the sounds of him changing.

“If I could begin to be

Half of what you think of me

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love

When I see the way you act

Wondering when I'm coming back

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love like you”

She recognized the song as being something he had said the gems had sung for him when he was young. It stung that he might think these kind of thoughts about himself. She swallowed hard.

“Love like you

I always thought I might be bad

Now I'm sure that it's true

'cause I think you're so good

And I'm nothing like you”

“Steven, I promise that isn’t true…” She called through the wall. She heard him stand and move toward the door.

“Look at you go

I just adore you

I wish that I knew

What makes you think I'm so special…”

She stood as the door opened and embraced him. He leaned forward into her and sang quietly into her neck. She held him close and rubbed soothing circles into his shoulders. He swayed gently into her touch as he crooned.

“If I could begin to do

Something that does right by you

I would do about anything

I would even learn how to love

When I see the way you look

Shaken by how long it took

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love like you

Love like you

Love me like you…”

They stood in silence for a moment and just enjoyed being held by each other. After a bit, she lowered her hand and took him by the wrist, leading him to the bed. After he sat, she took her garbage and placed it near the head of the bead and cleared her night stand.

“You’re going to be on the outside of the bed tonight.” She remarked quietly. “I’m the big spoon this time. Just let me know if you start to feel sick. I don’t care if I’m sleeping, I will hold your hair back.” He nodded. “How do you feel right now?”

“Not great, but, better than before,” he muttered.

“Well, I’m going to try and make it better. Lie down, ok?”

“Mmm-hmm.” He obliged without protest. She grabbed the comforter, tucked him in and crossed the room, shutting the light off. She stepped over him and lied down by his left shoulder. She untucked that side of the bed to get herself firmly snuggled into the weighted blanket, and nimbly re-tucked them both in.

“Night, biscuit.” She murmured. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” He replied. “Night.” He turned to face away, pointing his face toward the trash bin in case his stomach lurched in protest while sleeping. She rubbed few more gentle circles into his back and let herself be comforted with his warmth beside him. He heard her breathing even out before long, hoping that sleep would come easier with her beside him. It wasn’t long before the heaviness in his heart was outweighed by heavy eyelids, and drifted into slumber.

------------

Morning came, as it always did, a bit too soon for Connie’s liking. She gave a quiet sigh through her nose and lifted her head to check on Steven, who she could hear was snoring quietly. He had turned in the night to lie on his back, and his calf draped over her lower legs. His expression looked peaceful, but dark circles still showed on the pale skin beneath his eyes. Craning her neck, she could see the bathroom had looked as she had left it, as did the trash bin. It was unlikely seeing these two things in place that he had gotten sick in the night and not woken her.

She laid back down, pressing her face into the soft skin of his upper arm. He smiled contentedly but stayed asleep. It was a Sunday, so no pressing commitments for either of them. She could let him rest and deadlines for Monday be damned. She draped her arm across his torso, and let herself melt into the bed. She told him he deserved to be safe, and she never felt safer than with her next to him. Hopefully, the reverse was true, and she could help him to feel safe and loved. For now, what he needed was sleep, and she wouldn’t deny him that peace. He gave her joy and that was precious to her. So she would help however she could, and that meant staying in bed. She would take it any day.

#Connverse Week #Fanfiction #JambudWeek #Connverse #Steven Universe: Future #SU Fanfic #Steven Universe #Connie Maheswaran #SU Soft Jock AU #my precious gem child #drunkfic #hurt/comfort #non-betad #my writing

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

A How artistic are you? I’m not at all. Do you want to go to Africa? I’d love to stay at Giraffe Manor! AC/DC or Aerosmith? Aerosmith.  Do you know what Armenia is?  Yes.

B  What’s your beer of choice (if any)? Blech, none. Do you know the title of Buffalo Springfield’s one-hit wonder? Okay, I didn’t recognize the name so I Googled it and yes, I am familiar with their one hit wonder. I actually wasn’t familiar with the song title either, but after reading the lyrics I quickly realized what song it was. Do you have a brother? (Do you like it that way?) I have two brothers, and yes I love them. Which bank do you use? Not sharing that. C  Which comedian do you most enjoy? I think Kevin Hart is funny. Would you ever live in California? I have all my life. Is it possible/likely that you’ll become a cat lady? *Dog lady, but yes. How many different countries have visited? Just one. D  Do you believe there’s a devil? Yes. But demons maybe? Yes. Does eating dessert often make you feel guilty? Nope. Can you legally drive? I’m definitely old enough to have my license, but I don’t. What have you been diagnosed with (if you don’t mind sharing)? Depression, anxiety, and other physical health stuff. E  How often do you drink energy drinks? I like to drink Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks often.  Where did you live when you were 11 years old? The house next door to where I live now, ha. We had our big move to the house next door to us haha about 10 years ago because our landlords wanted to install new flooring and stuff to our house, but since they had just finished this one they offered for us to just move in here lol. Do you like the actor who played Edward Scissorhands in that movie?  Why not just say Johnny Depp? Anyway, yes, I think he’s a very talented actor. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No, just aftershocks from one. F  When was the last time you saw your father one-on-one? Yesterday. Do you think French is the most beautiful language? I don’t know what I’d say is the most beautiful language. Is Friday your favorite day of the week? No. All the days are the same for me, so meh. Have you listened to Jimi’s song ‘Fire?’ Doesn’t sound familiar. G  Do you have real gold jewelry? No. How often do you watch ‘Gossip Girl’? I never have. Is Google your homepage? Yeah.  Do you like Geico’s commercials? Most of them are annoying. The gecko character is cute, though. H  When did you last feel happy? Uhhh. Do you prefer Hollister, Hot Topic, or H&M? Hot Topic is the only one I shop at now, but I used to shop at the other 2 as well. Did you dress up last Halloween? Nope. I stopped doing that a few years ago. Would you voluntarily watch the History Channel? Yeah and I do if there’s something of interest on. I  Have you ever been on an island? No. I live on one in Animal Crossing, though. ha. Would you be able to locate Indonesia on a globe? I think so. Do you know if Iceland or Greenland has more ice? Greenland. I remember it’s the opposite of their name for some reason.  Did you watch the last presidential inauguration? No. J  Do you enjoy jogging? No. On which instrument could you most easily play ‘Jingle Bells’? I’ve played it on the piano. How much do you know about John Lennon? *shrug* I know some stuff. Do you know how Jell-O is made? I know how to make Jell-O with the mix, but no I don’t know how the mix itself is made. K  Have you tried Krispy Kreme doughnuts? (Was it love at first bite?) Yeah, but no they’re definitely not my favorite. They’re not real donuts to me, they’re just pure sugar.  How many pairs of khaki pants do you own? “Uh, khakis?” ha, if you know, you know. Anyway, I don’t own any.  Have you ever been a fan of the Killers? Yeah. L  Does it bother you when couples are lovey-dovey in public? No, unless they’re having like full on makeout sessions, straddling each other and feeling each other up and whatnot lol. Hand holding/locked arms/arm around each other, hugging, little pecks, and just being playful with each other is cute.  Do you have your own lighter (why or why not)? No. I don’t have a need for one. In how many languages (besides English) can you count to 100? I can in Spanish. What’s your favorite lollipop flavor? Not a lollipop fan. M  Do you believe in miracles (why or why not)? I do because I'm a woman of faith. What do you think of shows like Maury and Jerry Springer? I used to like watching Maury, Jerry Springer was just for laughs.  Do you care that Mars (the candy co.) uses deadly animal testing? I haven’t heard that... I’d have to fact check. How did you form your opinion of marijuana? Based off the research supporting that it has a lot of benefits. I was especially swayed when I saw how it helped cancer patients.

N  How often do you sleep naked? Never. I wouldn’t find that comfortable at all, I very much like being clothed. Do you actually check the Nutrition Facts before eating something? Not usually, but I sometimes will just out of curiosity.  Who is your favorite musical artist/band beginning with ‘N’? Nirvana.  How nerdy are you (in what ways)? I’m socially awkward, for one. I also cared about school and did well, which is often considered nerdy. Also, a book nerd, Star Wars nerd, Marvel and DC movies nerd... I enjoy those things so I don’t care, but they’re deemed “nerdy.” What do you think about olives? Black olives are good, green olives are gross. Are you much of an outdoorsy person? Not at all. The only time I enjoy being outside is when I’m sitting out at the beach. How big of an Oprah fan are you? I don’t really consider myself a fan. How often do you shop online?  Quite often. P  Are you looking forward to your prom? If you already went, how was it? My prom was over a decade ago D: Anyway, I danced with the guy I had a huge crush on at the time, so hey it wasn’t too bad. How are your local policemen? I think they do a pretty good job overall. What is your ideal PB&J sandwich like? Just peanut butter and grape jelly, pretty simple. What do you think of the movie ‘Pineapple Express’? I could not get into that movie at all. Q  How true is the saying, ‘quitters never win and winners never quit’? I mean, can’t say “never”, but the main point from the saying makes sense. Do you prefer Quiznos or Subway and why? I’ve gone to Subway many times, but I think I’ve only been to a Quiznos once or twice. Have you learned the quadratic formula yet? (Do you remember it?) I think I actually remember it. What is the one question you most want to ask someone and who?  I don’t know. R  How many rooms are in your home? 2 bedrooms.  Do you like raspberries?  Nah. What’s one of your best memories from during a rain storm? Hmm. I don’t know, but I just really love that kind of weather.  Have you actually read Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo & Juliet’? Yeah, my freshman year in high school. S  Do you know any Sign Language? I know the alphabet and a few sayings. What is your sleeping schedule generally like? Oh, my sleeping schedule is an absolute joke. How well do you sing? I can’t sing well at all. How often do you listen to 60-70’s music? Now and then. I actually have several songs on my main Spotify playlist from those decades. T What do you think of Twitter? I like being able to post my random thoughts and following certain celebrities and just interesting people for funny and interesting stuff. How much do you value the Ten Commandments? I value them a lot. Are there many trees where you live? Not really.  How much taller/shorter do you wish to be? “I wish I was a little bit taller.” 🎶

U  Where do you usually buy your underwear? Various places. How do you define ‘ugly’? It goes a lot deeper than just the outer appearance. Do you like to shop at Urban Outfitters? I’ve only been to an actual store a couple times and I’ve checked out their website a few times, but I just think they’re ridiculously overpriced. V  Would you like being described as ‘voluptuous’? No one would use that word to describe me.  For listening to music, do you like to crank up the volume or keep it calm? I like it at a reasonable level, I don’t need it blaring. Do you ever watch the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show? They cancelled that a few years ago, but I never had any interest in watching that.  Would you agree that ‘variety is the spice of life’? Yeah. W  Are you currently on wireless Internet? Yeah, that’s all I have. I haven’t had to connect to a wifi router or whatever with a cord in a very long time. Can you recall memories of learning how to whistle? I still can’t do it. Do you go to White Castle or just vicariously through ‘Harold & Kumar'? I’ve never actually been to one cause they don’t have one anywhere near me (they’re on the east coast, I’m a west coast gal). I’ve only had the the White Castle burgers from the store that you cook in the microwave. I actually like them, but I’m sure the real deal is even better. X  Why did you need your most recent x-ray and what were the results? I had to get a CT Scan a couple years ago. When it comes to ‘xoxo’, do you interpret ‘x’ as the hug or the kiss? It’s hugs and kisses, so the X’s are hugs. What does X stand for in Roman numerals? Can you write the previous number? X is 10, IX is 9. Why do you think xylophones are only popular with young children? That’s true, that is a pretty common baby toy. At least it was when I was little. Also, I played the xylophone in music class in elementary school. I don’t know why that’s a thing with kids. Y  Can you explain the meaning of the yin-yang symbol? Opposite, but complimentary principles. Like, you can’t have good without bad, lightness without darkness, etc. It’s about balance. Do people more often mistake you as being younger or older than you are? Younger. Did you know that yawning is contagious? Yeah. Would you like a bottle of Yoo-Hoo or it’s not really your thing? I actually like Yoo-Hoo, but I prefer it in the little carton or whatever with the straw (kinda like a Capri Sun, but it’s a box carton). It’s the perfect size, not too much. The strawberry one is my favorite. I haven’t had one in a long time, though. Z  How many places’ zip codes do you know by heart? Uhh, not many. What comes to mind when I say ‘Zero to Hero’? Disney’s Hercules movie.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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golgoterror · 5 years

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Alright, this is ungodly long, but I just wanted to talk about something regarding Jake.

A lot of this fandom -- at least, from what I’ve seen -- label Jake as stupid. Some may even say Jake and smart are antonyms. This could not be further from the truth. It almost irritates me how much the fandom places this mischaracterization on him. Also, I get to talk about The Lad™ for about ten pages worth of words on Google docs, which is always very, very fun for me.

Well, first things first, let’s talk about the child genius and multi-billionaire polymath that is Jake English.

Puzzle Modus.

Let’s begin with something small. Jake’s modus is of puzzlekind! This is described as:

It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris. You like it because it keeps you sharp for solving any puzzles you might find when you go out raiding hallowed tombs, which is never. (x)

He likes puzzles! This is a huge headcanon I absolutely adore that has a basis in the comic: He’s a puzzles guy! This is just sort of a neat little fact about him that I adore to the moon and back. Just the idea of Jake fiddling about with a Rubik’s Cube is kind of adorable.

This is how he goes about doing everything every day of his life. I think that’s just amazing! And incredibly smart of him, I might add.

Skaianet.

Jake is shown in the credits to take over Skaianet after the game ended. For those unfamiliar, Skaianet made many things for the game, including but not limited to: the interstellar travel we see, transportalizers, the lab by Rose’s house, all Jake’s fancy-schmancy computers, and Sburb itself. In the beta timeline, Grandpa Harley founded Skaianet. In the alpha timeline, Grandma English did. I know Jake didn’t start it up and trying to pass off his alt-timeline self as him is a bit far-fetched at best, but he had the spoons to take it over. I think that speaks volumes for Jake’s intelligence -- this implies, at the very least, he can understand mathematics and physics at a high level. Remind you of someone we already know?

It is also important to note that Jake does, in fact, build the company back from the ground up, because it went to shit before his grandmother died:

GT: Pretty sure her company made a tidy fortune til it went belly up. At least i still have a few of her knickknacks for keepsakes. (x)

So he built an interstellar company back up -- using what his intelligent grandmother had once used -- to being very useful and practical once again.

As someone with a degree in mathematics and about to finish a degree in physics, I can say this sort of work would for sure require at the very least a decent understanding of quantum mechanics, statistical mechanics, electrodynamics, calculus (vector and differential forms), ordinary and partial differential equations, and perhaps other things like topology. I don’t know about you -- and I’m probably tooting my own horn a bit by saying this -- but I think that’s pretty nifty, if I do say so myself.

Actor.

Once again, I’m reaching into the credits to show that Jake has become a movie star after the game ends. Memorizing all those lines, slipping into characters... Being an actor is no easy feat.

( Side note: This leads into my headcanon that Jake can imitate accents and voices on a whim. No more arguing about whether he has a British, American, or Australian accent -- you’re all right! )

And I would like to add he has two jobs! Skaianet and being a movie star! This guy’s a fucking polymath for Christ’s sake.

Reading People.

Let’s start of simple: Brain Ghost Dirk. I can hear the outcries now of Dirk’s powers being the cause for this. And, yes, I can’t ignore Dirk’s influence in this, but Jake’s hope powers were also needed for the projection to come alive. And the fact he was able to make such a startlingly accurate projecting of Dirk in his own mind is astounding -- even BGD himself thinks so!

TT: You could view me as a projection of the real Dirk within your mind, as expressed through all of your thought patterns about him. TT: So I'm kind of a splinter of his corporeal self who happens to live in your awareness. TT: I'm a startlingly close approximation to the real thing, for all intents and purposes. GT: Just how startlingly close are we talking? TT: I'm not going to give you a bogus percentage like the glasses cause that's not my shtick. TT: But pretty damn close. (x)

A very deep understanding of the other is needed for Jake to do this. That is pretty fucking incredible. He can clearly read people really well -- he had a few times where he was cluing in on Jane and Dirk have feelings for him:

TG: its one of those things jane likes about u so much GT: It is? TG: which TG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr im not supposed to talk about 2 u evr so nm GT: Talk about what? TG: nope GT: You mean how um... GT: Well a way in which i suppose... TG: no nope GT: Jane is prone to looking upon me with what i fathom to be more than just friendly affection? (x)

TT: I guess call it an extra birthday present. But instead of a present that's awesome, consider it more like a weird confession that may change the way you feel about me. GT: Whoa uh... GT: Dirk are you... uh... GT: Saying what i think? (x)

He’s not completely clueless on people! In fact, he seems to have a really good understanding of his friends. That’s something a lot of people seem to forget because of the incident that I will be getting to later on.

Fending For Himself.

I’ve already written quite a bit on this, but I’ll sum it up here: Jake is exceptionally good at living in the wild and taking care of himself. Sort of like a wild garden; he doesn’t need to be taken care of. Survival skills, especially around fighting and fending off things, aren’t something everyone has. This, once again, counts in his favour, even if it doesn’t line-up with “book smarts”.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

That’s five things! It’s clear Jake is, in fact, a polymath and incredibly intelligent. So, what’s with the fandom painting him as being dumb? What’s with people actually thinking he’s stupid? I think we can all take several wild guesses as to why that’s the case.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Takes things literally.

This is something that plagues Jake quite a lot. Case in point:

GT: Wow like the epic kevin costner film? TT: Almost exactly. Especially by the same degree of shittiness. GT: Oh man does that mean you have to drink your own pee?????? TT: You get used to the taste. Welcome it, even. TT: That takes about 15 days in a row of hard piss drinking though. GT: Ewwwwwwwwwwww no dude. No ew. :( TT: Relax, I don't drink any goddamn piss, ok? GT: Oh ok. Whew. (x)

But, well, let’s address the elephant in the room. The chat I laughed so hard at when I read it the first time due to pure, unadulterated second-hand embarrassment: Jake asking Jane if she had feelings for him.

Let’s analyze this, shall we? Jake starts off by being vague as all Hell, and I’ll spare those details, until finally...

GT: Just come out and say it. Do you fancy me? GG: No! GT: I see. GT: Very well then. GT: Jeez i mustve really misread that one! I feel like kind of a bone head now. (x / x)

Okay, she says no, and he backs off. That’s fine and dand--

GG: No!!!!!! GG: Oh my God, what am I saying here? GG: Jake, I didn't mean it! I didn't want to make you feel that way! GT: Now jane lets not backpedal here. GT: Youve spoken the truth and i greatly appreciate and respect you for that. GT: But now that i think about it you know what? GG: ... GG: No? :( GT: Please dont take this the wrong way but your answer is actually kind of a relief! (x)

... Oh, right. Yeah. It keeps going. It just keeps--

GT: Actually since youve made your feelings apparent and only see me as a friend that makes it a lot easier! GG: Haha, yes! GG: Friends!!!! GT: Maybe you could help me sort out some stuff that has been weighing on me lately? GG: Well what are friends for Jake!!!!! (x)

Sweet Jesus, Jake.

GG: Me? GG: HOO HOO HOO! GG: I'm just GG: Terrific! GG: I'm feeling so... GG: Friendly!!! GG: I clearly just want to be a good friend and bring all my AMAZING FRIENDLINESS to bear on your problems. GG: Friendlystyle! Ahahahah? GG: Shit I mean GG: Ahahahah! GT: Thats aces. Jane youre a sweetheart. (x)

Alright, alright, enough! You all remember the fucking chat.

Regardless, it’s very apparent Jake takes things at face value. I also will cite him talking to Jane before her birthday, but not list examples, because what happened above will just happen once again.

Okay, so he takes things at face value. What’s wrong with that? He trusts people to not lie to his face -- to not sugarcoat things or beat around any bushes. Perhaps I’m projecting a bit, but I do the same damn thing. I think a lot of people do! I don’t think reading things as fact over text is a good measure of someone’s intellect. All it does is show he has issues with communication. Okay, so he struggles with one thing. Sue me.

Doesn’t catch things right away.

Yeah okay I’m just gonna dump a few examples of this.

GT: Haha wow. Must have been a hell of a guy. TT: So... TT: You're not making any connections there? GT: Where? Huh? TT: Famous comedian, about the age of your grandma, inheriting the family name of the Baroness... TT: Not ringing a bell? GT: What are you talking about! Dirk stop speaking in riddles and keep telling the story i am on tenterhooks here! TT: Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot. GT: Oh my god you can be one opaque motherfucker just clue me in bro! TT: Nah, it'll be funnier this way. GT: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!! TT: Moving on. (x)

GT: Whats going on? TT: Took you long enough to figure it out. TT: Pages really are a slow burning class. Damn. GT: Figure what out! TT: You're asleep. (x)

This leads into the point above. His mind doesn’t work that way -- but that doesn’t mean he’s not intelligent. He needs everything laid out in front of him so he can make the connections and understand what’s happening, but there’s no real harm in this, and it certainly doesn’t dictate whether the guy is “intelligent” or not.

There are many, many more examples in canon depicting Jake as having difficulties with communication and you all can open most of his pesterlogs and probably find one. I’m not going to list anymore. But, hold your horses, I swear I’m getting to a point!

Difficulty reading.

A lot of the media Jake consumes is picture-based. Movies, comics, even the puzzles are most likely spacial and probably not riddles. It’s not far to imagine Jake might not be a terribly good reader, considering nobody was really around to make him read. Of course, his grandmother was around when he was little, so he can read -- and he can read just fine. But he probably isn’t very good at it simply from lack of practice. He also has terrible grammar, something Jane picks on him for, so it’s entirely possible that’s a contributing factor. He may just have trouble reading and writing.

Speaking from experience, I have dyslexia. As such, reading and writing are incredibly hard for me. I never read the books in my literature classes -- both in English and French -- but I did get the gist of the books (enough to get a decent mark in the class at least) by watching a movie adaptation of the novel. I don’t think it’s that far-off to think Jake may, indeed, do the same thing.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

NOTE: This next part is a bit hard for me to write, because I don’t want to vilify any of you. It might not have clued in on anyone or maybe you just saw Jake as a sort of comic relief and meant no harm by it. And I hope shining a light on this will make you all think twice about the guy. However, I can’t really avoid this next part, and I may get a bit emotional in it. Just a bit of a warning.

All of the above points are just me trying to say Jake probably has undiagnosed learning disabilities and perhaps autism. I don’t think I need to go into detail about how those don’t make someone “stupid”. If you think that’s the case, fuck you. I can’t argue with ableists, much less do I actually want to.

NOTE: I wrote a thing on his speech impediments. That may be of interest too. I don’t really know, but here it is nonetheless.

My take-away message here is: just because someone struggles with socialization or other things doesn’t mean fucking anything in terms of their intelligence. Jake is very clearly smart and has the ability to read people incredibly well -- to the point of making copies of them! Perhaps it’s just a bit easy to underestimate the guy compared to other characters, though.

There are other things that muddy this up a bit, unfortunately.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Trolling.

Jake is such a fucking troll. Jesus shitting Christ, does he get a kick out of acting stupid just to make the other person look silly. Or perhaps even to make himself laugh in the process. Case in point:

uu: I WILL JUST BE YOUR PATRON DUDE. uu: OR MAYBE. YOUR PATRON MANBRO. GT: Sounds pretty gay. uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? GT: Whats what? uu: GAY. WHAT'S GAY YOU IDIOT FUCK. GT: Oh right. GT: Forgive me i forget you arent familiar with all of my earth lingo. GT: Its like... GT: How do i explain. GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together. GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay." uu: I SEE. uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT. uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL. (x)

Look at his goddamn face during this exchange:

That little bastard knows exactly what he’s doing.

And these aren’t stand-alone events! Jake is very, very silly and will use the fact others see him as stupid to have a little fun. May as well, right? And, in the process, he makes others look pretty damn stupid.

But sometimes it’s a bit hard to tell when he’s acting stupid against when he’s genuinely not getting something. I think he even fools himself sometimes! So you have to be a bit careful about fake-outs. I’m sure even the other alphas have trouble deducing when he’s doing this -- which only adds to the myth of him actually being “stupid” when viewed on first-glace.

He probably also does this with crushes, purposefully ignoring the signs because he doesn’t want to deal with it or may not believe anyone could like him that way. After all, if he’s wrong, he may think himself to be conceded and having a big head. So, he ignores the signs, thus convincing himself the feelings aren’t there. Then he gets absolutely fucking bamboozled beyond belief to find out they actually do like him. But that’s just a little side-note.

Thinks he’s stupid.

This one is just a bit... Sad. Very sad. Jake genuinely does think he’s stupid. Quite a lot, really.

GT: I shoulda asked where he fit into the picture if you were raised alone. I can be dumb as a bag of penny candy sometimes. (x)

Just... Man, he’s been called and treated as stupid so many times, he’s at the point where he believes it. If you asked him, he’d say Dirk is a genius, Roxy is always smart and sassy, and Jane is brilliant. (I don’t have a source for that last one but... Come on. She lectures him about grammar. Don’t fuck with me.) But when it comes to himself? He can’t say the same. Of course he then acts that way. He sees himself as a burly adventurer who is also a gentleman and tries to live up to that. No where along those lines does he think he’s intelligent. And that’s just... a little heartbreaking, really, all things considered.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Can’t believe this blog is just me going, “Wanna see how fast I can talk about Jake?”, and a shit-ton of people all nodding before I talk for six hours straight. Anyway, take-home message is: Jake’s smart. Jake’s very, very smart. He’s also a himbo, but he’s incredibly smart. Just because he has learning disabilities doesn’t mean fuck-all.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. There are drinks and refreshments in the back. Have a safe trip home. Remember to tip your waiters and waitresses. Jesus fuck can I run this gag any harder into the ground? Giving me language was a mistake. No but, really, if you read this whole damn thing, thank you! I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write.

#ooc.#headcanons.#about.#ableism tw #and i hate to do this but after the speech impediment post i must:#dont steal these headcanons.#(unless youre a jake rper then by all means thats fine!)#yes these arent exclusive to jake but this took a lot of time and effort #id appreciate it if youd all respect that #tia! <3

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shadowsndaisies · 6 years

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Carrie: The Musical

a/n: okay so kind of excited for this one! this is my first Riverdale piece, and in honor of the 2nd musical episode, I just watched. I wrote this for Carrie from last year, and I’m planning to do another one based off of Heathers now that we’ve seen that beautiful fit. This piece is broken in sections as you’ll see, be aware of the warnings before you read!

Fandom: Riverdale

Pairing: Sweet Pea (kinda)

WC: 4297

Synopsis: Carrie episode from season 2 re-write

WARNINGS: character death, panic/anxiety attack (more so at the very end)

masterlist

Pre-Show: Rehearsals Begin

“I can’t believe you’re doing the musical,” Sweet Pea grumbled as you got off your bike.

“Good morning to you too, Pea,” you sighed.

“First Topaz ditches us because of the Blossom chick, then Fangs dips because of Keller, Jughead joined yesterday, and now you, what the hell am I supposed to do?” SP ranted and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“First off I’m not actually performing and neither is Fangs and secondly you could always join the production,” you offer as the two of you enter Riverdale High.

Sweet Pea scoffed at that, “please tell me you’re joking,” he added a deadpan as his eyes slid to you.

“Not exactly, Pea, if we’re all in the musical, don’t you think you should probably come to see why?” you say as the two of you approach your locker.

“Hell no,” he stated simply, crossing his arms and leaning down to be closer to your eye level.

“Okay, well, enjoy being on your own for a bit Pea, because the rest of us have rehearsals today, I’ll see you later,” you nodded, after exchanging your books.

You tap Pea’s shoulder twice before walking away, shaking your head as his grumbles about enjoying the time off would suit him just fine.

After class you found yourself sitting in the circle with the rest of the main cast Kevin was giving a basic intro when Fangs finally showed, he slid into the circle between you and Kevin.

“Nice of you to show Fogarty,” you whispered to him, a playful look on your face.

“I’m a busy man, (y/n) you know that,” he winked slinging his arm on the back of your chair causing you to chuckle softly and shake your head.

You would’ve continued your conversation too if Cheryl hadn’t begun to sing. You had to give the redhead props, as she sang Carrie you could totally see her embodying the role of Carrie White. Although when she was done the smile that had come to your lips during her performance disappeared as soon as the thud that sounded with the falling of the sandbag was heard. You had physically jumped and Fangs’ arms had instinctively gone to pull you back, just in case.

Sweet Pea and Fangs were the same in that sense, the two of them had consistently been putting themselves in the line of danger to save you for years. A fight breaks out, the boys immediately push you behind them or one of them gets you out. For Fangs the reasoning was easy, he was your best friend, the flirting was all for fun and just a part of both of your natural natures. With Pea, the relationship was a bit different as often times he got a little too protective but at the same time would never give the honest answer, he was one of your closest friends and god were you grateful for him.

When rehearsals ended, shortly after the Cheryl and the sandbag fiasco Fangs walked you back outside to your bike, except when you got there you saw Sweet Pea waiting, leaning against his own Harley.

“Hey Sweets, what are you doing here?” you asked slowly as you and Fangs approached your bikes.

“Fangs texted me about the sandbag,” he stated and you rolled your eyes before glaring at your other friend.

“Seriously? I wasn’t even close to it, Cheryl’s the one who could’ve gotten hurt. Hell, I’m not even actually in the musical, I’m helping with costumes and filling in as an ensemble dancer and voice,” you clarify.

“Dead, she could’ve gotten dead,” Fangs argued.

“You’re not helping, Fogarty,” you squint at him.

“From now on, if you’re going to insist on doing this stupid musical because it is stupid, then I’m there, every time,” Sweet Pea decided.

“Fangs is going to be there constantly, and I don’t need a babysitter, I’m a big girl, Pea,” you attempted to object.

“You know this doesn’t really seem like you need me for this argument, so I'm just going to head out, I’ll see you guys back at Sunnyside,” Fangs managed to get out as you glared at Pea and he stared back.

It was once the roar of Fangs bike could no longer be heard did Sweet Pea speak up, “I know you’re a big girl, okay. Trust me I’m well aware, but here’s how it’s going to go down, I’m going to be there, end of story,” he stated.

You couldn’t help but scoff, “look Sweet Pea, I’m grateful for the fact that I have you and Fangs always looking out for me, but this time I have to say no. If something’s going on we’ll figure it out, okay? I’ve got Jughead and Toni and Fangs all in the musical. Not to mention I’m actually friends with Betty and Archie and Cheryl and pretty much everyone else, if anything happens I’m protected. And you’ll be the first to know. But you gotta give me space this time,” you sigh before starting your engine, revving it so that Sweet Pea wouldn’t be able to get another word in.

Act 1: B & V

Days began to go by without another incident, Jughead told you he’s looking into the whole sandbag incident and that he’s got his eyes open, Cheryl and Josie seemed to have made up, or gotten to the in the works stage of the process and your costume game was going strong, so was your ensemble voice. However, the tension between Veronica and Betty was beginning to become even more palpable. Though things did come to a peak during Veronica’s The World According to Chris number.

“Okay, Veronica I am obsessed with everything that just happened,” Kevin praised as those of us, not in the number clapped from our seats in the audience.

“Thank you,” Veronica smiled, her hands clasped together and a gleeful smile splayed on her lips, “it helps to be off-book and in full costume,” Veronica sent you a silent thank you which caused you to smile back.

The dry laugh from Betty drew all of your attention though, “don’t be so modest. You are the literal embodiment of Chris,” she began and you couldn’t help but send Jughead who was a few seats to your left a look of worry. “Never had a role been so perfectly type-cast.”

“Oh no…” you mumbled a hand already coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Betty…” Archie began but stopped himself when Veronica raised her hand, you also didn't miss the sigh that Kevin let out, one very similar to the one you let out as everyone straightened in their seats, the drama something they craved.

“What was that, Betty?” Veronica asked, walking closer to the girl who was once her best friend.

“I mean, think about it,” Betty began again, her tone flat as if this were boring her and were completely obvious. “Spoiled rich girl, check. Major daddy issues, check. Bad to the bone, trying to control everyone around her, including her boyfriend and best friend, check, check, check,” Betty finished taking a few steps closer to Veronica as well.

Fangs let out a sigh before turning to you, your fingers still pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to fight an oncoming headache.

“What do we do?” Fangs mouthed, looking straight at you.

“Nothing,” you shook your head and mouthed back, this was one argument where you all had to keep your mouths shut until there was more information.

Intermission #1: a conversation

“Yo, Red,” I need to talk to you,” you shouted through the halls of Riverdale High School when spotted the familiar flob of red hair by his locker.

“Hey, (y/n), what’s up?” Archie nodded, switching out some of his books.

“How are Veronica and Betty? I mean I like them, really I do, but the tension with the musical, and the incident that happened after the Chris number, I’m a little worried,” you explained.

“Don’t worry about it, they’re sorting it out, but trust me, it’s getting better,” he promised before shutting his locker and reattaching the lock. “All you need to focus on is making sure that we look like we’re from Carrie, yeah?” he nodded before walking away.

“Sure thing, Andrews,” you sighed before heading off to your next class as well.

Act 2: Cheryl Blossom

Some more time went by and the cast was becoming stronger and stronger and then Kevin got another note, of course, you weren’t supposed to know. But you were a Serpent and that meant you and Jughead were family. When Kevin decided to talk to Cheryl things turned out very different than how you all were expecting them too.

“Due to some unforeseen circumstances...” Kevin began, clearly upset. Fangs had moved his hand to hold Kevin’s shoulder soothingly, though, Kevin had pushed it away. “...Cheryl will no longer be playing the role of Carrie White,” your eyes widened.

Sure Cheryl was being targeted but Cherry Bombshell never backs down from a fight, ever. Clearly, you weren’t the only one to be surprised as everybody immediately began asking “What?” and “Why?”. As your eyes danced around looking carefully at everyone sitting in the circle they couldn’t help but fixate on Ethel Muggs for a moment, she seemed to be fighting a proud little smirk and failing.

“Let’s just say Penelope Blossom isn’t much of a stage mom,” Kevin announced to everyone before leaning towards Toni, she was sitting on the other side of you while Fangs was to your right.

Toni gave a quick nod before grabbing her stuff and walking away, you shared another look with Fangs, there was some weird shit going down in this musical.

“In the meantime, Cheryl’s understudy will assume the role,” Kevin concluded with a curt nod.

“Understudy?” Ethel asked the smirk had been wiped away by the new information.

“I appointed one after the sandbag incident,” Kevin explained and your eyes narrowed on Ethel as she let out what seemed like an irritated sigh, “Midge Klump.”

Applause erupted from all of us as our attention went to Midge who’s smile brightened and cheeks flushed just enough for us to notice.

Intermission #2: Sweet Pea Returns

“Fangs mentioned things have been getting kind of intense over at the musical,” Sweet Pea noted as casually as he could while the two of you were playing a game of pool in the nearly empty Whyte Wyrm.

“Yeah, figured you must be the soul that Fogarty cries his sweet little heart out to,” you snorted, taking a sip of your water and lining up for your shot.

“Just wanted to check in, see how you were doing,” he continued.

Your eyes squinted slightly as you adjusted your angle before taking your shot, another of the striped balls landing in a hole, a smile on your lips you turned back to your giant of a friend. “Careful Sweets, almost sounds like you care,” you laugh.

You were about to place your hand down to continue your turn but Sweets pulled you back by your wrist, forcing you to turn to him, “Damn straight I care, you tell me what’s going on,” he said seriously, eyebrows furrowed, gaze focused on yours.

And your mouth went dry, suddenly all words taken from you, the look on his face was serious, deadly serious.

“Fangs told you about the second note, didn’t he?” you whispered, you were just so close, a whisper was all you needed.

“You tell me, okay,” he repeated, his voice still low and still serious.

Your hand came up to grab the one he had on your other wrist, “I promise, Sweets. I’ll tell you,” you nodded and he let you go.

“Good, now finish your shot so I can mop the floor with you,” he said, clearing his throat, and that soft look, one that almost looked like fear was gone, and his normal hardened by the world facade was back.

“It’s not nice to tell lies,” you shot back, sparing him another careful glance before turning back to the table.

Act 3: The Cooper Drama

As soon as we started working with Midge as Carrie we had to do a full breakdown of the new dynamic, so we finally let Alice Cooper take the stage, it was going really well and then Betty’s name slipped her mouth. Your head dropped at the realization of what was coming next, Fang's hand came down on my shoulders, his thumb rubbing slightly soothing circles into the blade.

“Mom?” Betty’s voice was soft as she called out to her mother after the older Cooper finished her lines form the song.

“Don’t leave me, Betty,” Alice begged, a soft hiccup in between. “Don’t leave me like all the others,” she added before rushing off stage, Betty got up and followed right after her.

“Am I directing a train wreck?” Kevin asked and that caused me to sit up straight. Fangs shrugged his shoulders before lifting a cup. “And where’s my tea?” Kevin added causing Fangs’ arm to freeze.

“Alright that’s enough drama for me, I’m heading home. Fangs, you good or you need a ride?” you asked standing up and grabbing your bag.

“Rehearsals aren’t done yet!” Kevin interjected.

“Guess it’s a good thing I’m not on stage then,” you sighed, offering the group a peace sign before walking out of the auditorium and to your bike.

Intermission #3: your interview

“Why are we in the music room, Jones?” you asked, a bored expression over your face as you sat down on one of the stools.

“It’s your turn for confession,” Jughead jokes.

“Bless me, father, for I have sinned,” you shot back sarcastically.

“No, but really, this is your time to talk about what it’s been like working behind the scenes and with the cast,” Jughead prodded.

“Kevin’s my friend Jughead. And he asked me to help with costumes. I agreed. The cast is just more of my friends, so it’s been cool. I mean I’m not really one for people’s drama so that’s been a bit much but I don’t know. Fangs is breathing down my neck constantly because Sweet Pea’s doing the same to him. Oh! I just finished the digital file for the program mock-up, I sent it to Kevin so he could make some final adjustments before sending them to print,” you offer.

“This is lame, you know that? You’re giving me lame stuff to film, boo,” Jughead shook his head and you laughed.

“Sorry, my life isn’t some telenovela-like some of our other friends,” you scoff.

“Such a shame too, you could’ve been a star, kid, a star,” jughead trailed with a slight accent, causing you to roll your eyes.

“You’re something else, Jones, you know that?” you laugh as the bell rings.

Act 4: The Show Begins

On the night of the show, I arrived with a bag in hand, inside was my best dress. I wasn’t going on stage but I had been a lot of help and so Kevin had asked me to dress nice. When I walked into the dressing rooms everyone was preparing themselves.

As the curtain call drew closer and closer I had already changed and now was running around to make sure everyone looked perfect. We were all singing You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet as we went.

“You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night you'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget,” everyone was singing

“This will be just great,” Archie sang before I pulled him away from Veronica and to his costume.

“Oh, my life is gonna take flight. Can't wait till Saturday night, yeah…”

Sheriff Keller came in to take a picture of Kevin, and then they ushered you into the photo too.

“Eighty bucks for a tux?” Kevin sang the next line, gesturing to his own clothes, causing me to laugh.

“Damn, we better get laid,” Moose cut in.

“You've been prayin' for that since the seventh grade,” you sang back causing Moose to snort in return.

“It's the least we deserve after everything we've paid,” Alice added from where she was curling her hair.

“Got the food,” Archie.

“Got the drinks,” Chuck.

“Got the limo for ten,” Veronica.

“And we won't get a chance like this again,” everyone.

“We'll be leaving as boys but we're coming home as men,” boys.

“This will be just great! Yeah, my life is gonna take flight,” Chuck.

“Can't wait till Saturday night,” Ethel.

I walked out into the hall to hand costumes out to everyone as they passed.

Toni came first, “You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget.”

Then the rest, “You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never, no, never, we'll never forget. A night we'll never forget,” then they were ready.

Intermission #4: 10 minutes til places

“Ten minutes till places! Where is Fangs?” Kevin announced before looking to you.

“I don’t know, Kevin. I’ve been trying to find him myself,” you shook your head.

Sweet Pea hadn’t told you if he was coming tonight but you knew Fangs would know.

“Okay, you know what? You!” Kevin pointed at one of the many co-stage managers he had gotten to help with the musical, “give (y/n) your headset. I need to be able to talk to her in case we have a costume malfunction.”

The girl handed it to you with a smile before walking away to help finish final touches.

“Why’d you really give it to me?” You asked, your friend as you adjusted the headset.

“Keep your eyes open, I’ve got this queasy feeling,” he mumbled before walking away.

“(Y/n)!” Jughead called out to you from where he was behind the camera.

“Yeah, what’s up, Jughead?” you asked.

“When we find Fangs, stick with him, okay? Or find Sweet Pea and sit with him,” Jughead told you.

“Jug! Are you serious? I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” you grumbled before walking away.

Not even five minutes passed before you saw Jughead again, this time he was being thrown out of Ethel’s dressing room, “Really, Jones?” you asked.

“I think Ethel’s the one who wrote the notes, sounded like a guilty conscious to me,” Jughead responded, turning the camera towards me, and then to the side again, “Hey Moose!”

“Out of my way, Jones,” Moose spit back, a hand to Jughead’s chest for good measure.

Your eyes met Jug’s over the top of the camera, you were vaguely aware that he was filming you again, “What is going on with this musical, man?” you muttered.

“Something, diabolical,” Jughead answered, squinting his eyes slightly as he looked after the direction in which Moose had gone.

Act 5: The Final Act

The musical had been going well, you were sitting next to Jughead and Kevin in the middle of the front row, watching Alice Cooper sing before it all went to hell.

“All right, Carrietta, it’s time to come out of your closet,” Alice announced and the stagehands took their queue to raise the closet set.

We were supposed to see Midge, on her knees and she should’ve been singing, instead, your hands began to sweat and your heart began to move much more rapidly and you felt something sour rise up your throat. Midge was on stage, but not how it should’ve been.

“Uh, Kevin, did you reblock this scene? Why isn’t she on her knees singing?” Cheryl’s voice had an edge to it, the same edge that had made it slightly more difficult for you to breath.

Kevin could only stutter and my hand came up over my mouth, the feeling as if I were about to cry, or faint, or vomit all swirling through me. Because on stage was Midge, she was on the wall, suspended in place by multiple daggers in her body and around her, was bloody letters, “I AM BACK FROM THE DEAD ALL THOSE WHO ESCAPED ME BEFORE WILL DIE... B.H.”

“Oh god, no,” you muttered.

“I don’t think that’s part of the show,” Jughead murmured.

“Oh my god,” Kevin was finally able to spit some words out.

“Somebody should help her, for god's sake help her!” Cheryl screamed, and that caused Alice to turn around.

When Alice Cooper let out a scream of pure fear everyone began to move, but you were frozen the panic of the situation was getting to you, everyone seemed to close and the room felt like there wasn’t enough air and everything was too loud.

“(Y/n)!” Jughead shouted from where he was beside you.

“I-I can-can’t-” you shook your head violently and your body began to shake.

You were so focused on how your hands were shaking you didn’t realize when someone else came to stand before you, allowing Jughead to go run after his girlfriend.

“(Y/n),” his voice was stern and low and had an edge to it that made you look up.

There was Sweet Pea, he was staring at you so carefully but also with what looked like relief, then he notices your hands.

“Hey, just breath, okay, you’re going to be fine,” he attempted to soothe.

“Fine!” you shot back between ragged breaths. “She-she’s dead…” you tried to gasp for air and then Sweet Pea made a decision, he slipped his arms around you from where you were sitting, and with a small grunt lifted you into his arms.

His giant stature allowed him to move through the crowd relatively easily and he didn’t stop until he got you outside.

“Hey, I’ve got you, you’re going to be okay” he whispered a few minutes after he had set you on one of the picnic tables outside in the back, it was quieter there and the cold air helped to get you to calm down, his arms were on both sides of you and then you were hugging him.

He froze this time, surprised at how you had basically latched your arms around him, but his arms moved to wrap around you, and he squeezed you just enough to remind you he was here.

“You’re freezing,” he noted, his voice a soft whisper, just like it was that day at the Wyrm. He pulled away from you for a moment to slip his jacket off, he was wearing the leather one today, and then it was enveloping you.

“C’mon let’s get you home,” he said softly.

“I don’t want to go home, Pea. I don’t want to go back to an empty trailer, not tonight,” you whispered.

“Then you’ll come to mine, I told you I’m not letting you out of my sight,” he nodded, offering you his hand.

You nodded before grabbing it.

The Curtain Call

You were sitting on Sweet Pea’s bed, staring at a picture on the wall.

“That was a good day,” Sweet Pea said, his voice soft as he set some stuff to the side of you on the bed.

You didn’t respond and your hands were tucked under your legs to keep them from shaking.

“I got some clothes for you to change into,” he continued, but your eyes stayed focused on the photo. “(Y/n).... C'mon, work with me, tell me something,” he asked and you slowly turned to him.

He sighed and grabbed a wipe as he took in your disheveled face, makeup smudged and streaked over your face. “C’mere,” he said as he tilted your face up to him, tucking your hair back and slowly wiping at your face.

Your lips parted as he swiped the wipe by your chin, “I’m terrified,” you admit to him, voice cracking.

Sweet Pea kept one hand gently on your face as he threw the wipe into the trash bin, “Nothing’s going to happen to you, while I’m here, okay? I’ve got you. All the serpents do,” he promised, but it did little to soothe your nerves.

“That’s not the reason,” you breathed as one of your shaky hands came up to grip onto Pea’s wrist.

He stays silent, eyes flicking to yours as he grabbed your scrunchie from your wrist, his hands moving to your hair.

“I’m terrified for who’s next,” you continued and your eyes watered. “I don’t want to watch another person die.”

He tied your hair in a half bun and swept a few of your baby hairs from your face before crouching down to be eye level with you, “They’re gonna get this guy,” he said seriously.

“You don’t know that,” your voice cracked as you met his eyes.

“I don’t have to. Because what I do know, is that no one is going to touch you, because I’m here, always,” he reminded. “Here, these should sort of fit, get comfy, we can watch a movie or something,” he nodded to the clothes on the bed.

He walked out to go and change himself and carefully you unzipped your dress and changed into the black boxer shorts and grey t-shirt he had left for you.

When he came back he laid on his bed and you fell in beside him. With one arm over your waist, he started the movie. You fell asleep before the halfway mark, and his grip on you tightened slightly. There was no way in hell he was going to just let you go.

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sierrabinondo · 5 years

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woodland creatures tour - final thoughts

all right y’all, it’s time for another fuck-off, super long novel about our yearly one week tour lmao. which is why i separate it from social, so that i’m not that guy that floods your feed, but touring is so important to me. it’s a special event that (unfortunately) comes just once a year.

before i begin gushing over how wonderful this tour went, i wanna put something into perspective. truth is: the night before, i was not excited to leave. i was feeling insanely anxious and, embarrassingly enough, regretful that we were going out at all. i was nervous about how tour was going to go and i was scared of having bad performances every night again. while tour has always been an exciting experience, it has also been stressful for me. this whole year i've been making a concerted effort to be a more consistent performer and to try to enjoy shows more. i am so relieved that this tour brought me insanely closer to that goal. and if that's coming from me, it must mean i actually believe it lmao i think i can speak for my bandmates when i say that this tour exceeded our wildest expectations. we had the most fun we've ever had on the road and we played awesome sets more often than not. we played to an engaged crowd every night. no matter how many people were there, there was some person in the room that was digging us or already knew us. we were not expecting this at all. and most importantly, to see so many people come out for pulses., on their first. tour. their FIRST tour. was heartwarming and incredible. i have so much love for all of the southeast musicians we got to play with on this tour. creating and sharing music is such a vulnerable thing to do; we are all in this together. i loved watching you all play every night and getting to know you. it is honestly so cool to feel like you belong to a network bigger than yourself and to meet such talented people across state lines. thank you for supporting us. i’ll be rooting for you from new jersey. thank you kris khunachak for joining us on tour. seriously so so thankful that you could come with us. we were cutting it close with your jury summons LMAO. i had so much fun hanging out with you. you are such a valuable talent as an artist (also musician GD it). i can't wait to continue working with you, and i’m so glad so many doors are opening for you. i peripherally knew of pulses. due to all of the swanposting groups and knew they were from NOVA. i reached out on a whim last year hoping they would play our VA date. we managed to click at our falls church show together and we kept in touch. i wanted to repay them for playing with us by inviting them to come play jersey. i strongly felt more people needed to know about them. i loved not only playing with them, but i loved hanging out with them. they invited us to come play the bouquet. season finale this past january, and after such an amazing weekend together i proposed touring together to kevin. i was honestly sweating it for a minute because i wanted it to happen so badly lmfao. the chemistry we have as friends, both our bands, is incredible. we absolutely love their music and, great news, they’re all amazing people. some of the funniest, most talented, determined people i’ve ever met. they deserve the world and more. there is a reason why people gravitate towards them and their music. their genuine energy as people shines through their music, and it is infectious. it’s fun. it goes hard. and that’s why people love them. i truly believe their new music will bring them to another level. i’ve had the privilege of hearing a couple new songs and i am so excited about them.

over the years i have met so many musicians who are just willing to step on other people’s feet, talk down on their peers behind their backs or do whatever it takes to make others perceive themselves as ahead in the game. we see it all the time in jersey and in the genre of music we play. i’ve distanced myself from many i know because i have learned to trust no one. people want to be cutthroat and pompous. for what, i don’t know. and yet, pulses. are the biggest breath of fresh air. so great at what they do and yet so down to earth. they kept me laughing until i cried constantly on tour. it was a joy spending more time with them, taylor and tyler on tour. it’s always great to have another girl on tour and taylor was the best company; she kept me from going crazy. tyler is such a genuine guy, i only kind of knew him before this run and we had a lot of good talks throughout the week. i’m really glad we are friends as a result of this run.

i’m eternally grateful these people fuck with us. their friendship and their support is one of the most validating things we treasure as a band. the fact they want literally anything to do with us is incredible hahaha. but if they do, it must mean we’re doing something right. i trust them so, so much. they keep me sane and continue to keep me sane through all of the bullshit that comes with being a struggle band (i have coined this term from them lol) and playing music. i know that whatever happens, beyond music, they are friends i will treasure forever.

lastly, my bandmates. i am so proud of you all. you all did an amazing job this tour. i find myself completely at home with you guys. thank you so much for continuing to embark on this journey with me. i could not do this without you. you are some of my closest friends. every year when we come home from tour it is the most heartbreaking thing because it’s a taste of what could be. what we could experience if we could do this full time. but i have come to realize that no matter what happens, everything we have shared together will always be enough for me. we have experienced so many obstacles this year or i guess in general, and y’all can probably tell it has run me down as a human being. before, i lost my way and i was uncertain of the future. but after the tour we had there is no way we can slow down now. i am even more excited at the prospect of what we can achieve together. now, i cant wait for everything that comes next. i love you guys. thank you.

last year when tour concluded i fell into a slump that seemed to last for an entire year. i wasn’t taking care of myself physically and emotionally. i felt doubtful of my purpose in life and whether or not i was actually meant to be a musician. a lot of events had transpired over the course of the year that have slowly lifted me up from that place. obviously starting therapy helped, and i have done a lot of work on myself so i’ll give myself some credit. but i fully attribute getting better to having the pulses. camp in my life, my bandmates, and the people who believe in me. despite where life takes me or any hindrance i face, i’m not going to just stop making music or growing because of some perceived ageism gatekeeping. i am honestly the best i’ve ever been at my craft now. i can’t wait for everything that’s in store. in fact i’m just gonna rest for a couple days and get back at it. cause i feel like i can.

can’t wait for woodland creatures pt. II next year 🦊🦉 (also can we get a goddamn red panda emoji by then)

#woodland creatures tour

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spaceorphan18 · 6 years

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TDB Rewatch: Michael

The middle of season three continues to be not that bad - if I focus on just being mindlessly entertained for forty minutes and don’t think about it that hard. Like Rachel - I don’t really get the whole Michael Jackson thing, but that’s okay! For a tribute episode, this does very well, though it keeps the time honored tradition of having too much music and too little plot. The music is nice, the covers are fine, and I don’t find myself egregiously irritated with the episode - even if the couple of things I do think are really wrong with it have to do with Kurt.

Thoughts:

You know what this episode had going for it? Barely any Will and no Sue.

There really isn’t any big overall story - beside the whole ND v Warblers thing. It’s just a lot of tiny plot threads that they pull on to fit with the music. Which is fine. It works, for the most part. This episode is still mostly music.

So, I suppose - let’s do this by song...

Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ - Ah, Blaine this overjoyed ball of sunshine. I think the Mercedes and Santana upset that they didn’t do MJ and ND v Warblers both wanting to do MJ for Regionals is a weak tie in for doing MJ, but eh, it’s fine. I mean - all these songs relate to different plots, so I can understand the general theme.

There’s a lot of underlying Blaine backstory and development that could have been explored in this episode - his issues with the Warblers, why he’s hanging around Sebastian and telling him things, how he feels about having a slushie to his face, how he doesn’t feel like he fits in at McKinley still, stuff with Kurt -- but, you know, Darren had to be on Broadway and Finchel needed more screen time so....

Bad - I like this song in concept, and Santana and Blaine teaming up is actually pretty cool. But this performance is dark, literally, as in I can’t see most of what’s going on. It isn’t the best shot one.

I genuinely like Santana in this episode - from her attitude being used at someone not in ND, her conversation with Kurt, and taping something to her underboob, I feel like /this/ is how they should have been using Santana more often.

Scream - So, um, anyone wanna talk about Artie’s anger issues. His little speech is 4th-wall breaking relevant, but in character it seems a little off. But it doesn’t get picked up on so.... let’s chalk it up to the fact that it’s meant for this song. Kevin McHale and Harry Shum Jr knock this song out of the park. I really do not like listening to it, but -- it’s visually stunning, and a fantastic cover.

Never Can Say Goodbye - Quinn’s voice is a bit weak on this one, but I do like this song for her. And I like that they got her into Yale. Congrats, no more irritating Quinn story lines!! (Mostly)

While I’m rolling my eyes at more obligatory Faberry - I kind of question Rachel’s logic and reasoning here. I’m going to go ask my bf’s ex if it’s okay if we get married. I mean really?? I do agree with what Quinn has to say, though. Both Finn and Rachel want to get married for /bad/ reasons. And while Quinn is going the opposite way with it - mostly cause she’s realizing that she doesn’t have to have her whole life planned out, she is correct in that - they’re kids, and you don’t know what you want at 16.

Human Nature - another song I’m not really that into - but Mercedes and Sam are lovely together. And giving Mercedes a story line that’s not about competing with Rachel is always a plus. She has a genuine conflict here.

Ben - hey, it’s that one time they decided to sing about a rat to the gay pirate. If you listen to the lyrics, the song does make sense, and they do sound nice on it. Still -- why does Finchel need to be involved in this scene at all? Oh because Kurt needs to feel bad for getting a finalist letter because Rachel did not. Oh god...

Before I get into that, though. Taking a step back from the Klaine issues - they don’t bother me too much. I mean, Blaine does take that slushie for Kurt, and they are holding hands with each other. But, yeah, when you examine it further, it is frustrating that they remain three feet apart while Finchel gets to make out in every scene they’re in. Letting the gay couple be physical shouldn’t be an issue -- but alas, it was 2012, and it still was on prime time tv.

Meanwhile - let’s talk about Kurt and his NYADA finalist -- which is a nice little scene with his dad, albeit slightly overwrought - but you know, this is soured by a) him having to emotionally prop up Rachel and b) the fact that he ultimately doesn’t get in. Doing meta and the podcast has given me distance to not be as irritated, but I’m still epicly rolling my eyes.

Smooth Criminal - Santana v Sebastian is brilliant, and this number is the best one in the show. It’s actually rather dark and tense, tbh. Also - 2Cellos - you go dudes.

I Just Can’t Stop Loving You - Did this episode really need a Finchel duet? Really?? Long gone is the cutesy couple from season 1 - and now they’re talking about marriage proposals and both wanting to get married for very, very wrong reasons, and it’s just painful. I say - make it stop, but we have 11 more episodes of this.

Black or White - This is the song I listen to the most! I like it. Also my massive love to Trent Warbler.

However, I will never understand why they made Kurt give back the tape - other than the want Seb around ep 14. But seriously, I side-eye the whole Kurt taking the higher road cause they need someone telling the morale of the story. While I’m softer about season 3 on some levels - what they do with Kurt during this season, I am not.

You’re a vegetable, I eat off you.

#tdb rewatch

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kariachi · 4 years

Text

Okay! Today we finally catch up to everybody else on the planet with the Ben 10 reboot! I will get through these last two episodes today if it kills me! (I have to, I’m on the last bottle of the soda I’ve been drinking on days Kevin is in episodes) First up, an ep with a Kevin! And Nanny Nightmare but who gives two shits about her? Fucking Umbridge wannabe.

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

Skateboarding. Thought we left the 90s stuff in the last episode.

Aw, Max is scared

Not an extreme sports man

Holy shit Ben’s giving advice and life lessons

Max has got a point Ben. Going up against bad guys is cool and all, but you can’t punch physics.

Ben stands there trying ot talk Max into skateboarding, Max is politely declining, and meanwhile Gwen is gearing him up and just shoves him down the ramp

He’s doing pretty good actually

Ben is using a scooter

Gwen intends to conquer the halfpipe via math

Oh look, it is my son. Skateboarding. With what I can best describe as a 90s board.

Looks like it’s gonna be another ‘Kevin: *exists*; Ben: How dare?!’ episode. These ones are always fun.

‘my turf’ Kevin Ethan Levin please let me live for four seconds please

Oh my gods if this boy made and put up a ‘property of Kevin’ sign I will lose it

He literally plastered over ‘public’ on the skate park’s sign with ‘Kevin’s’! This fucking child! How can you not love him?!

...I was about to say that this isn’t how property ownership works but actually he’s pretty powerful and there is precedent

Ben rightfully teasing him (sorry little love but, come on) and Kevin not fucking having it

Ben: Nice sign, edgelord Kevin: Bitch-!

At this point the only thing that could improve this episode is if Kevin went ‘I can beat up everyone who lives here, so if I say the park is mine it’s mine. Pretty sure the Founding Fathers put that in the Constitution.’

I’d like to note, I’m 2 minutes in. There’s still like eight minutes of this shit to get through.

Kevin telling Ben to fuck off outta his park

I’m dying y’all, this is ridiculous and on-point and just, my fucking child

Kevin offers to kick Ben’s butt if he doesn’t want to leave, Ben responds with ‘no’, and Kevin is just, confused.

Ben has decided to be mature today and I honestly don’t think Kevin was ready for it

Ben calmly scooters away, refusing to rise to Kevin’s taunting, and let me just say #LetKevinSayMotherfucker. You know he wants to. And look at him, he knows swears. He just can’t say them ‘cause he’s on cartoon network

Ben’s been getting better lately about not rising to Kevin’s bullshit. I’m proud of him.

Oh and it almost worked. One call of ‘scooter-loser’ and suddenly Ben’s right into it. Well, I’m still proud of you Benji. You tried and you were doing well.

Kevin just likes fighting Ben. And honestly I’ve said it before but I’m seriously beginning to think the problem is that he straight doesn’t know how to interact with his peers without being antagonistic. Basically somebody get this boy therapy and some proper socialization. Through a fence maybe, and definitely with adult supervision.

“Now there’s the dweeb I know” Kevin please

And the fight has been interrupted by a Max who has no idea how to control his skateboard. But he’s still upright so honestly good on him.

Ben is so proud

‘Kevin used Double Team’ Nice to see he’s found a new tactic with Rush

Kevin times out in the middle of gloating and is so aggravated, mostly because he apparently just tuned up his watch damnit. If nothign else nice to see more confirmation that he is still working on it himself.

Honestly something must have gone bad for him to time out before Ben when he transformed after him.

Ben, laughing his ass off at the look on Kevin’s face, which Kevin takes about as expected

And Ben times out, cuing laughter from Kevin

And initiate slapfight

I do love these children so

Oh look, Nanny Nightmare, nearly halfway into the episode.

Really don’t care for this woman. Not quite to the same level as Tim, but I really don’t give much of a damn. But, we might get a babified Kevin and honestly that might be worth putting up with her

Gwen has finally worked out how she’s gonna tackle the halfpipe. Also is doing rollerskates

And lo but the park was positively coated in babies

NN took over the rentals counter. Of course.

Gwen just, left this baby in the lost and found box

Well, at least baby Max is enjoying himself.

The boys are still out to kick each other’s butts. Nobody is surprised.

Gwen: “Ben, we’ve got trouble!“ Kevin: “Yeah, you’re looking at it!“ Gwen: “Don’t flatter yourself.“

Kevin does not believe in Nanny Nightmare.

‘You’re mature enough to not let him get to you, right?’ Almost, Gwen. Almost.

Goddamn, Nanny is going overboard to get these kids

Honestly, the worst thing is they wasted perfectly good halloween colors on this bitch

And Kevin saves Gwen from babification, unfortunately it’s blatantly at least partially because he has a crush on her and that loses half a point

On the one hand, he almost admits to her face that he likes her and I’m very proud of him because that can be very hard, on the other I am quite glad he was interrupted

Oh my gods it’s a tiny babified Wreckingbolt. 1) that’s adorable, 2) he’s the size of her fucking rollerblades

Gwen, who already has her arms full with two other babies, is not pleased to now have one that fucking rolls at speed to deal with

This tiny rolly child has now bumped into four other babies. Below the age of two and he’s still a menace

Good news, Gwen eventually gets the babies that aren’t Kevin into the box

If reboot!Gwen never has children it will be because of this episode I’m sure

She managed to catch him! Just as Nanny gets the upper hand on Ben

Ben gets turned into a baby midair and Gwen immediately drops Kevin and goes to catch him

Tiny babified Jetray. Not as cute as Wreckingbolt

And Max and Kevin come in once she overpowers Ben again

Gotta be embarrassing to be defeated by three infants

Baby Wreckingbolt looks so happy to have helped kick butt. Or maybe he’s just been enjoying his afternoon wrecking very tiny havoc

We cut to later, while Gwen is trying to fix everyone, and Max is literally having to act as a physical buffer between Ben and Kevin who, even as infants, are still trying to kick each other’s butts. It is adorable.

The Tennysons keep cures to this sort’ve repeated bullshit on hand.

9/11

#achi liveblogs #ben 10 2.os

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sadpeopledancing · 6 years

Text

Tag Game

Rules: Tag ten mutuals you want to know better.

i was tagged by @apopstarontheradio (thank you, lovely!!)

Name: esphir

Star sign: pisces

Height: 1,71 m

Put your iTunes (or Spotify) on shuffle. What are the first 4 songs that popped up?

1. help me lose my mind - disclosure, london grammar

2. obvs - jamie xx

3. isolation - joy division

4. miserable america - kevin abstract

Ever had a poem or song written about you?

not that i’m aware of at least! usually i’m the one who writes about other people cus i get caught in my feelings a lot and i like poetry and then it’s too late and i’m on my second bottle of wine and allen ginsberg’s style unfinished poem on my phone

When was the last time you played guitar?

about a year ago at my best friend’s party when a completely smashed me tried to remember how to play all apologies (yes, i’m an alcoholic)

Who is your celebrity crush?

who isn’t my celebrity crush i’ve been calling kristen stewart my wife since 2008 so i guess she’s my main mvp but also nick grimshaw is the loml, king princess, frances bean, yuri pleskun, adore delano so basically what i’m trying to say is that i’m a raging bisexual

What’s a sound you hate + a sound you love?

living in manchester by the police station made me hate police/ambulance siren with all of my being cus that’s literally the only thing you hear here

i love the sound of thunderstorms! and sometimes i fall in love with people’s voice (like when you want to listen to them harry talk forever) because they make you feel safe

Do you believe in ghosts?

i don’t believe in ghosts per se; i believe in energy. that when someone dies they leave their energy here, be it in their favorite places (like you know when you’re somewhere which meant a lot to that person and you can just feel them?? that sort of thing) or things. or even in general. ghosts are usually considered to be something “creepy” but for me that energy doesn’t have a physical form. it’s more like.. a feeling. that you can feel them near. energy never truly dies.

How about aliens?

for sure. i love reading and learning about the universe and everything we’ve discovered so far but there’s still so much to unravel and thinking that we are the only ones out there is silly. we don’t even matter that much in the grand scheme of things tbqh (also wouldn’t it be a bit sad if in the universe of billions and billions galaxies we were all alone? like completely utterly alone? that’s not a blessing, that’s a curse)

Do you drive?

no and i don’t really want to. i think it’s just too much responsibility and my anxiety disorder doesn’t ever let me rest

What was the last book you read?

in utero by gillian g. gaar. it’s a small but wonderful book giving the full story behind the recording process of nirvana’s in utero so i would highly recommend it to whoever is interested!

Do you like the smell of gasoline?

i actually can’t recall the smell but i like the smell of sharpies so i reckon i could be into gasoline as well (that sounded less weird in my head i’m sorry)

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i had both of my arms broken many years ago and managed to drop a pan with boiling water onto my leg burning off the entire front of my thigh so pain/healing process wise they were both on the same level

Do you have any obsessions right now?

strangely enough i don’t think i do. yeah this is mostly a harry/nick blog but loving them is like a part of me already cause it’s been so long. i am however really into self-growth lately? like getting my shit together and being better mentally? like loving myself and all that nonsense? idk if that counts

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

i used to but i try to forgive people and be more patient if i really care about them. however, it took me a really long time to learn how to let people go when you know that it won’t work out

In a relationship?

nope

#shsjsjsj what is this im so SORRY #i havent done one in ages cus i only came back on tumblr like a couple of months ago i dont even know who im mutuals with anymore #sara youre an angel thank you!!#i also tag anyone who sees this and can be arsed to answer #and if you read all of this youre officially my new friend i dont make the rules #personal #ask

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nekojitachan · 7 years

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❛❛ I’ve tried. You can’t cut the string. I’ve tried, trust me, I’ve tried. ❜❜ andreil please and ily

Aww, thank you!

And here you go, some Andreil for that prompt:

Neil knew he was in trouble when Wymack showed up to recruithim in Millport, not just because of the risk of his father finally trackinghim down, not because of him failing to listen to his mother, not just becauseof Kevin Day.

No, it was because he’d finally come across his soulmate, the person connected to theother end of the terrible red string who was supposedly the other part of his soul.The same red string only he (and possibly) that soulmate could see, the stringwhich he’d cursed for years, ever since it had appeared in his vision.

He wasn’t supposed to needanyone (other than his mother), to have anything ‘tying’ him down, anyliabilities. He had a figurative target on his back and a price of five milliondollars (at least) on his head, a death warrant long overdue signed into existenceeight years ago which grew closer and closer each day to being collected. Theonly thing he could give his ‘other half’ was a painful death if they met andbecame involved, so best that they remained far away from each other.

So of course their paths finally did cross, and it turnedout his soulmate was Andrew Joseph Minyard, the Palmetto State Foxes’goalkeeper, number three, someone just as fucked up as Neil (NathanielWesninski) Josten, if the rumors were right.

Neil should have run, should have turned down Wymack… but itwas too late, judging from the way that Minyard’s drug-hazed hazel eyes wentfrom his own chest to Neil’s and that manic smile slipped a little, from theway he ‘tugged’ on the string before climbing into the truck with the coach andDay. He was already suspicious of Neil, and Neil turning down both a scholarshipand a chance to be with his soulmate?He was already trying not to draw unwanted attention to himself, and a chanceto play Exy at a collegiate level was just too much to resist.

(Andrew had nothing to do with it.)

He wasn’t going to do anything to encourage a relationshipbetween them, not when he’d just be leaving in a few months, and it was clearthat Minyard felt the same when he was there to pick up Neil from the airport.He raised an eyebrow at Neil only arriving with his duffel bag and little wassaid until they parked outside of Coach Wymack’s apartment. Minyard killed theengine of his fancy car and made a show of slipping a knife from one of theblack bands around his forearm, which caused Neil to still, eyes intent on theweapon and body ready to flee from the vehicle.

Minyard ‘picked’ at the red thread which stretched betweenthem and made to saw at it with the knife, working at it for several secondswith that damn manic grin on his face as he stared at Neil, until Neil relaxeda minute amount and huffed. “It’s not going to work, you know. I’ve tried. Youcan’t cut the string. I’ve tried, trust me, I’vetried,” he admitted even as he shifted a little closer to the door to putmore space between them.

“Oh, have you now?” Minyard asked in a sing-song tone ofvoice.

“Yes.” Neil jerkedhis right hand through his hair as he thought about those times, about hismother looming over him as he made the attempts, displeasure evident on herface after each failure even though she must have known that it wouldn’t work. “Knivesor fire, nothing worked. You can’t sever the damn thing that way.” The onlysure way seemed to be for your soulmate to die or to avoid them for your entirelife – and of course Neil just wasn’t that lucky.

Minyard gasped as he finally gave up on the attempt. “Oh, amI not wanted?” He affected a hurtexpression while his hazel eyes remained blank, an odd contrast which made Neilwonder if someone was putting on a show for him – and why.

“You were the onetrying to cut it just now,” Neil pointed out, eyes intent on the blade until itwas put away.

“So I was.” Minyard’s smile was just as sharp as his nowhidden knife, and vanished within a moment. “How nice, it appears we’re bothunhappy with this… revelation. Now then, no disgusting ‘I’ve found my otherhalf’ announcements, no expectations that this has any impact on anything betweenus, that it means anything, yes?”

Neil swallowed as he wondered how much longer until he couldget out of the damn car. “It just means I feel sorry for your poor ‘other half’,that’s all.”

“Oh, what a smart mouth there. It seems the rabbit mighthave some teeth after all.” Minyard’s face went as blank as his eyes as hefinally opened the driver’s side door, a sign that Neil could get out, too.

Neil was right about that ‘feeling sorry’ comment, since thenext half an hour or so was a long string of threats and promises to break him,to make him come to ‘heel’ in one way or another, which made him wonder justhow much the universe hated him to pair him with such an utter bastard.

It was a sentiment he pondered often as he put up withMinyard’s constant suspicions, with the guarded access to Kevin, the mockinginsults, the break-in to his room, the night in Columbia and having to give up a small portion of the truth. Hedidn’t care about Minyard’s lack of trust him if it meant that it’s another reasonfor them to stay apart, but Neil wanted that little bit of a dream for howeverlong he could hold it, that bit of Exy and being as close to a real person ashe could be for a few months at least.

So he’s somewhat bemused at Minyard’s antics while sprawledout on the bench during Neil’s nighttime practices with Kevin, busy hackingaway at or attempting to burn the red string tying them together for hours onend while Neil and Kevin exhaust themselves playing Exy. Kevin gave the goaliean odd look for it the first night or two then ignored him, as if used toMinyard doing useless things like that.

Neil supposed it started to change when Minyard swore towatch his back and protect him after Ferdinand’s show, in regards to him givingKevin a reason to stay at PSU. He knew a clock was ticking after him standingup for Kevin to Riko, after him being too… too noticeable, so he didn’t thinkit mattered when he would only be sticking around for a little longer. Then Rikohad to go digging and find out the truth, and Nicky had to beg Neil to askAndrew to go to the damn dinner at the Hemmick’s….

He had to wonder if there was something about those storiesabout soulmates and the red string drawing them together, about how it wouldonly entangle around those meant for each other until there was no escape. Therewas a reason why Neil’s mother had wanted him to sever the damn thing, afterall, had warned him to run in the opposite direction if he thought he was drawingclose to its terminal.

He ended up promising a bruised and broken Andrew that he’dprotect Kevin, only to go to Edgar Allan for a ‘bastard’ who would gladly cutthe string connecting them together if given a chance (who was keeping hispromise to protect Neil, just like he always kept his promises, so Neil wouldkeep his, too). He ended up bruised and nearly broken, too, with his secretsexposed and the past breathing down his neck, all for Andrew to come out ofEasthaven with the drugs gone from his system and hollowed out of emotions,appearing unable to care about anything anymore (other than his promises) aftereverything that had been done to him. It hurt to see him like that, but it wasfor the better – Neil was on a countdown with only one outcome, which meant thefarther Andrew was away from him, the better.

At least Andrew should be pleased when the string wasfinally broken.

Which didn’t explain why Andrew kissed him up on the roofthat day (why Neil kissed him back), why he was so upset about it yet kissedNeil again. They both knew that it was a mistake, that they had agreed toignore the string connecting them together, that they were better off withoutsome stupid soulmate… yet Neil kept saying ‘yes’ and Andrew kept asking him.

Neil didn’t understand it, didn’t understand why Andrew. (That wasn’t quite true –yes he was a bastard, but then so was Neil, but he was almost always honest,too, and stood by Neil despite everything.) A random curiosity about why peoplewere attracted to each other aside when Neil was younger, he had been honestwhen he told Nicky that he didn’t ‘swing’, that he didn’t want anyone. That no one hadattracted him before… and then there was Andrew. He didn’t think it was asoulmate thing, or at least just a soulmatething, as people could physically want more than just their soulmate.

He only wanted Andrew,only felt a growing sense of desire, a ridiculous urge to smile and kiss and do…whatever Andrew allowed when he with the other teenager. It was confusing andintoxicating and wonderful, and of course it wasn’t meant to last.

His father’s people caught up to him in Binghamton, theclock running out at last, and he meant what he’d told Andrew in the lockerroom, no lies at all. He gave his soulmate the truth and one last long look,and hoped that Andrew welcomed the freedom he’d longed for at last, no moreties holding him back anymore, no more restraints.

Except Neil couldn’t stop fighting, couldn’t go downquietly, and Uncle Stuart showed up to end the nightmare that had haunted Neilfor so long.

It wouldn’t be a clean break, but Neil figured that Andrewwould still have some sort of ‘freedom’ when the Feds took him away and put himinto protective custody… except that the stubborn fool still wouldn’t let himgo. Andrew told him to ‘stay’ – the same Andrew who had smiled at him whiletrying to cut through the red thread, who had attempted to sever it all thosetimes while in Neil’s presence – and Neil settled beneath his touch and said ‘yes’.

The string between them throbbed at that answer and grewthicker as if to ensure that there was no possibility of it ever being severedor broken or stretched too far, and Andrew pulled Neil closer. The Foxesshuffled around them and Wymack argued with the Feds, but all Neil cared aboutat the moment was the feel of Andrew’s hand on the back of his neck and thequick press of chapped lips against his forehead, making even the painful acheof his burns and wounds inconsequential.

Andrew was there and had told him to stay, so nothing elsemattered.

#andreil #aftg #tfc #soulmates #fic prompt #nekojitachanfics #i'm building good karma points right now #another one down

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cromulentbookreview · 6 years

Text

Weaponized Jaws

Or: Seafire by Natalie C. Parker!

Action on the seas featuring badass female protagonists? Yeah, I’m definitely going to read that. Very little needed in the way of convincing me to read this book.

Seafire had been advertised before as Fury Road meets Wonder Woman meets the ocean, which makes sense. Though with much less Wonder Woman and way more of Kevin Costner's Waterworld.

Alright, children, gather around while I explain to you what Waterworld was.

Yeah, Waterworld. Not a video game, it was a movie starring Kevin Costner, the world’s only American-accented Robin Hood (hey, I like that movie, Alan Rickman was a treasure and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise). Waterworld came out in 1995 and was massive flop, now a bit of a cult-classic. I remember 1995, somewhat vaguely. God I’m an Old now, aren’t I?

I’ll never be as cool as Steve Buscemi, though.

For those of you who enjoy both Fury Road and Waterworld, then you’ll definitely like Seafire. I love anything that takes place on the ocean - a side effect of my strange Dudes on Boats fixation that I’ve mentioned previously (my apologies to For a Muse of Fire, . Sea stories are kind of my thing. So is post-apocalyptic YA fiction. So this book ticked all the “I need entertainment and want to forget the news exists right now” boxes and worked out perfectly.

Caledonia Styx lives in Crapsack Waterworld, a post-apocalyptic flooded version of our world (referenced occasionally as the “old world”, flooded/destroyed as a result of some unknown calamity). Caledonia has the misfortune to live in an area controlled by Aric Athair, a vicious warlord and sir-not-appearing-in-this-book (since Seafire is the first in a planned trilogy, I’m sure we’ll meet him eventually). Anyway, Athair controls his war boys, called Bullets, by drugging them with something called Silt, made from some sort of weird hybrid poppy-flower-thing. Life in Athair’s territory sucks, so Caledonia’s mom, Rhona, and a bunch of other families have gotten together on the Styx family’s ship, the Ghost, to break through Athair’s blockade and head off to freedom elsewhere.

Unfortunately, the night the Ghost intends to escape, Caledonia and her best friend Pisces (they’re really big on the names from Greco Roman mythology in crapsack Waterworld) are sent ashore to gather some last minute supplies. Caledonia comes across a bullet called Lir, who asks for her help. It’s all bullshit, though - the second Caledonia gives away the location of the Ghost, Lir and his fellow bullets attack, slaughtering Caledonia and Pisces’s families and sinking the Ghost.

Pisces didn’t witness Lir’s treachery, though, and Caledonia, feeling responsible for the deaths of all those onboard the Ghost, keeps that bit where she gave away the position of the ship to herself. That makes sense, considering how guilty it feels, but later, as Caledonia refers to Pisces as her “sister”, the fact that she kept this bit of intel under wraps does become a tad annoying. Especially when Caledonia refuses, multiple times, to clarify why it is she does’t trust Bullets. She’s just like “nope, can’t trust Bullets” instead of “no, that one time I trusted a Bullet, he slaughtered our families.”

Anyway!

Four years after the deaths of their families, Caledonia and Pisces have raised and repaired the Ghost, renaming it the Mors Navis.

(Language nerd sidebar: Mors Navis, by the way, is Latin for Death Ship. Thank you Google translate! No thanks to my 10+ years of German education. Why couldn’t I have picked a Latin language? Noo, I had to go with the Germanics. Mors Navis does sound way more menacing than Totenschiff. Eat it, B. Traven).

Over those four years, Caledonia, acting as captain, and Pisces, her first mate, have collected a crew composed entirely of girls and women, all of whom have no love for Aric Athair and his Bullet army. Caledonia and her crew basically go around the Bullet seas, making life hell for Athair’s people. During one such mission, Pisces is wounded and then captured, only to be rescued and returned to the Mors Navis by a Bullet who claims he wants to escape. Caledonia, who has literally zero reasons to trust Bullets, doesn’t trust him. Pisces points out, reasonably, that he saved her life when he could have left her to die. But Caledonia simply repeats her mantra of “no trusting Bullets” while refusing to elaborate.

Until the Bullet lets it slip that Donnally and Ares, Caledonia and Pisces’s brothers, respectively, survived the massacre on board the Ghost and were pressed into Athair’s drug-addled Bullet army. He knows what ship Donnally and Ares are on, and the route it takes to bring in conscripts (read: children stolen from their families, drugged, and forced into Athair’s army, refusal to comply met with extreme violence, in the usual fashion of a murderous tyrant).

Suddenly, Caledonia has reason to question her strict “don’t trust Bullets” policy. But it’s one of those Meek’s Cutoff situations: the Bullet could be a lying sack of shit and leading the Mors Navis into a trap. Or he could be telling the truth, leading Caledonia and Pisces to their long-lost brothers. What to do?

Well, it’d be a pretty short book if they just shot the Bullet, dumped his body in the ocean and moved on, wouldn’t it?

It took me a little longer to read Seafire than I intended - I’m a slow reader anyway, but while I was reading Seafire, I was also binging on Scott Lynch’s Gentleman Bastard series (which are fantastic by the way - highly recommend the audiobooks, Michael Page is an amazing audiobook narrator) so my focus may have been just a wee bit divided. My biggest complaint is now we have yet another seafaring heroine with red hair. How come all the seafaring heroines have to have red hair? Also, it’s funny you should bring up red hair, because in the world of the Gentleman Bastards, bad things happen to girls with red hair. Seriously, how come all the fiery heroine types have to have red hair? I mean, it’s not like I’m jealous or anything. I mean, it’s not like I should have been born with red hair, but no, it ended up a dull, boring blonde, and hair dye is expensive and smells terrible...

Uhm.

I mean.

Seriously, though, red hair is a rare thing - if Caledonia’s father had dark hair and her mother had red hair, the most likely outcome would be a bunch of kids with...dark hair. Though if her father did have a recessive red-hair gene, then it’s entirely possible for him to have produced red-headed children... So I guess it’s possible.

Not that I’m annoyed that my hair didn’t turn out red. Even though it should have, goddamn it! I know those recessive genes are in there somewhere!

Stupid lousy blonde hair grumble grumble grumble...

Ok, back to Seafire - it is definitely a highly enjoyable book, lots of nonstop action, but not a lot of resolution because it’s the first in an intended series. I highly recommend breezing through the book in one go, rather than endlessly picking it up and then putting it down in order to find out whether or not Locke and Jean finally kiss (they don’t).

But yes, jealousy over fictional characters’ red hair aside, the only major complaint I have about Seafire rests with a single line. The thing about reading ARCs, which I think I’ve mentioned before but, again, nobody reads these, so I might as well: ARCs are not finished copies. The final copy of Seafire might not even feature this line, so it seems silly to complain about it, but complaining is fun so I’ll do it anyway.

So the secondary-boss villain, Lir, Caledonia’s sworn enemy as he killed her whole goddamn family, is described as having a “long face with a jaw that looked sharp enough to be a weapon of its own.”

From that line onward I found I was unable to focus on anything except how a man’s jaw could be sharp enough to constitute a weapon. It’s a question that’s been driving me to distraction for weeks now. Is Lir’s jawline sharp enough that it comes to a point, like a knife? What would that look like on a three-dimensional human person? How would one wield their weaponized jaws? Like a battering ram? Or would you just like, wave your head around like a sword? Does this mean his chin comes to a point, too? That one line of the galley proof of Seafire has caused me more consternation than anything else in the book - and this is a book that features lots of violence. Lots and lots of it. And here I am contemplating a man with a weaponized jawbone.

I mean, of the whole book it’s one line and it doesn’t even matter but...but...gah, I can’t help but picture a guy with knives for a jaw.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Fans of badass female protagonists kicking ass on the high seas, fans of YA lit who also happen to be fans of Kevin Costner’s Waterworld.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone who takes physical descriptions of fictional far too literally.

RELEASE DATE: August 28, 2018

RATING: 4/5

ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR SEQUEL: Lhotse

OBLIGATORY STYX REFERENCE:

#seafire #natalie c parker #ya fiction #ya action/adventure #young adult fiction #review #badass female characters #sea stories #post apocalyptic #caledonia styx #mors navis #seafire trilogy

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years

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Episode 15- “that’s the name of the game” -Lily

FINAL FIVE!!! Okay, I think I would have rather had Autumn go this round but... Kevin DID need to go. He, Autumn and Lily are HUGE threats and in all honesty I think that Chips and Juls are pretty big threats too. I mean, they have both won an immunity anyway. I can see anyone left winning the entire thing. Whatever immunity is I am going to work my ASS off for it.

2 minutes later

Also as soon as tribal was over I apologized to Chips but told him I knew Kevin was going to be the one going SJFLJF. I feel like I also need to touch base with Autumn to let her know I knew what was going on but I don't want her to let it slip to Lily or anyone that I am trying to play all sides right now. If Autumn wins immunity I think I'm going to TRY to talk people into a Lily vote... IDK, it is a risky move but I feel like it has to be done if I want to be serious about this thing and try to win.

I feel like every time I come to write here I’m just like wow this is the most wild game I’ve played and I’m having so much fun. It still absolutely sucks to go to tribal. I hate lying. I hate the anxiety. But that’s the name of the game. I need to survive and try to make it out of this thing feeling proud with how I’ve played. I can’t believe we are at F5 and I have a decent shot of making it to the end. At this point, I’m not sure what my ideal F3 is. My main goal is to get there. Kevin really played this game socially, strategically, and physically in the challenges so it’s nice feeling like there is more of a level playing field. My heart wants to take ruthie with me to the end but ultimately I think we would split votes. If I go to the end with autumn and chips, I think autumn would likely get votes for her social and strategic game. She was able execute several last minute votes. Chips could get some votes on his ability to adapt to the game and survive so many tribals and votes. Juls is a fighter I can tell but our games weren’t as connected and she was seen as more chaotic. I think another option I have is potentially working with juls and Ruthie on this next votes to split up autumn and chips. I like that I have options but I don’t want those options to come back and bite me. I’m excited for this next immunity and hope I can pull off a win! Catch me tomorrow in this confessional writing about how I didn’t win.... but fingers are still crossed baby! Whew. Will I figure out what I’m doing? Maybe!???!!!?!!?

Okay, so I've found 50 items and I feel like there has to be AT LEAST 100. I could be very wrong but I'm going to try my hardest to find as much as I possibly can. I NEED A WIN!!!

9 hours later

UGHHH I didn't even get close to 100. I'm scared that I'm not going to win but I have a little bit of hope! I am SO NERVOUS. I NEED THIS WIN if I want to make it to the end and possibly win. I feel like I worked very hard for this one so we'll see.

20 minutes later

I AM SO EXCITED!!! YAY I WON SOMETHING!!! I'm am SHOCKED with how close everyones scores were and I literally found 'jewels' RIGHT before we were told to lock in. I NEEDED this so bad, okay I feel like I at least accomplished a little thing and I HAVE MADE FINAL FOUR, WOO!!! As for the vote... I'm not sure what I'm doing, I still think Autumn NEEDS to go and I think Lily can help me get her out. Maybe. We'll see! I'm not going to stress about the vote tonight and just see what happens! FINAL FOUR, YAY!!!!

30 minutes later

I really think I am going to work with Lily this round and try to talk her into getting out Autumn. I told her and Juls I was heading to bed but I'm hoping that maybe the three of us can work together to get Autumn out, but if Lily has a better suggestion I would be down to listen to it. I'm interested to hear what Chips and Autumn will suggest because I feel like if I DID NOT win I would have been the one going home. I am kind of wondering if they are going to try to go for Lily this round. I have a lot of thinking to do about my end game. I definitely think that Lily is my biggest competition right now but we have both kind of snaked people in the game and have played similarly so maybe it would be best to go together? I'm not sure. At this point I think that anyone is worthy of the win but I think I would personally vote for Lily to win against anyone left if I was a juror.

Well....I got those nervous butterflies in my stomach. NOT in the good way. I guess this is what I get for playing the game I have. I've done what I could to try and stay out of the limelight and keep the focus off of me, but with Ruthie immune I'm nervous for the worst. Talked to Chips this morning and he said he was worried about going but I assured him he would be okay and that we would talk to Autumn about voting Juls. I talk to Ruthie she sounds like she wants to vote Autumn, I state how that would be smart to do now. Ruthie comes back and says that Juls wants to vote me out with Autumn and Chips. BIG EEP. I talk to Autumn she says she is down to vote Juls. Are Chips and Autumn playing me so good right in front of my face? I sure hope not! Can't say I'm not nervous for this one. If I go tonight, I'll be proud with the game I played but disappointed to be cut just short. I want to try and remind Autumn of what she said to me a few rounds back about keeping strong players that we want to fight with at the end. I hope that sways her to keep me around vs Juls who didn't put up her best effort at this last challenge. And if Chips is playing me rn like this DANNGGGGGGGGG. This is the most nervous I've been this season and I've been nervous this whole thing. haha Hoping I can continue my fight and convince others to keep me along for another round. Shout out to Ruthie having my back 100%. I don't honestly think I deserve it, but I love and stan the loyalty. Wish me luck poor, sweet confessional?

we are reaching the end of the game um.. shakes. i’ve literally lost pretty much ALL of my allies but i’m hoping that if no one is lying to me that i skate by to f4.. and depending on who wins final immunity.. f3. cause rn i think chips/autumn want a gryffindor final three which i am a-okay with because i genuinely think i could still have a shot at winning HHHH autumn is a kick ass player but i think i’ve really proven myself so i just really want this chance because i believe i’ve been playing such a good game.

Me loving Lily right after Final 6:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_J09-aQPeeGEEfoE2F7G9OlNEG4YrnW2/view?usp=sharing

Also me in Final 5:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1FyTOlAIf_4w0RrEE9wXxjbNXsSWwpo7j/view?usp=sharing

Alright! The vote went successfully! No powers played!! And then a weird vote split?? The immunity was find as much as you can on the blog and then you can win if you find more than everyone else. I tried... AND LOST BY ONE! Anyway Ruthie is immune and the vote is for Lily this round I'm pretty sure. I think there's some discourse so far as whether it would be between her and Juls and then it's looking like Lily and Ruthie want to vote Autumn.. it's a whirlwind. If I'm being perfectly honest this should be the round I vote out Autumn because it would give me the best chance at winning the season. But also if I'm being honest I kind of don't mind if she wins? Anyway, I don't know entirely what I will do. I'm kind of on the fence at this point. Do I stick it out with my ally or turn on her and cut her in cold blood? I could almost maybe get away with blaming the vote on Juls but I don't think that's going to work out for me.

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