#kenny has definitely influenced him ^⁠_⁠^

[lexeees]

gotta say my favourite animal is aito coming out of his shell

[witchthewriter]

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒅 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

・Boyd is a complex person and in this intense environment would heavily influence how his feelings for you would ... come out

・If this was in the normal world, he would act completely different. Woo you with flowers and surprise dates that he planned down to the t.

・But in either world; his protective instincts would still be there. Hell, his protectiveness goes up nearly 100% he would make sure NOTHING touches you.

・Tries showing you how he feels through acts of service. He'll help around your house, see if anything needs fixing (making sure you're safe)

・If he hears you're in trouble, he will come RUNNING. No thoughts, no plan, just one aim - to get to you

・He's torn between his wife and wanting a life with you

・It keeps him awake at night.

・Whenever he has 'free time' he goes to find you. Trying not to be too suspicious

・Your smile brightens his whole day. And hearing you laugh makes him feel like he could conquor the world, and then lay it at your feet.

・He would likely seek deeper conversations, wanting to connect on an emotional level.

・Usually done over a few glasses of whiskey

𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

・Donna's gonna pay more attention to you, offering help or initiating conversations more often than usual.

・Her usual reserved demeanor might soften slightly around you. She'll give you small smiles or a slightly warmer tone of voice than usual. These would be subtle changes, easily missed by those that don't know her

・If the opportunity presented itself, Donna would participate more in activities that you enjoy, even if they aren't her style... This would be a way to spend time near you without being too obvious.

・Donna's attention is going to be on you whenever you're close-by.

・It would be subtle though!!!

・More like a heightened awareness whenever you're nearby

・If anyone tries something with you though ... oh, just the thought of it...

・She would have them homeless, banished, in the box, fuck - she would make sure that person is grovelling on their knees for your forgiveness

𝑲𝒆��𝒏𝒚 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

・Instant butterflies when you calls out his name

・Look, Kenny is getting more and more mature; he's brave and stands up for what he believes in.

・But when it comes to you ... he's goddam nervous. He has stuttered around you before.

・His hands get all sweaty.

・Once his voice even cracked. That has NEVER happened to him before. Not even with Kristi.

・BUT, you never made him feel embarrassed about it. That's one of the reasons why he fell so deeply for you. You hate it when other people feel self-conscious; so you either do something even more humiliating or tell a story about your own embarrassing moments.

・One of Kenny's favourite things to do is to sit on your porch steps. You sit there together, every morning for a bit, sometimes talking, sometimes not.

・Kenny usually moves closer inch by inch, slowly. Just to get as close to you as he can without alerting you

・Your trope would definitely be friends to best friends and then to lovers by means of accidental expression of feelings.

𝑱𝒂𝒅𝒆 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

・The crush Jade has on you is one that crept up on him and then suddenly he realised he couldn't live life without you ...

・He'd seen you around town, helping in the diner, making yourself useful.

・Jade was far too self-absorbed to actually notice his feelings.

・That was until ... The Dream.

・Tucked up in his bed, drooling a little, Jade had dreamt that you and he were in a relationship. Married. With your own home, then along came kids (your own or adopted).

・It felt so damn real.

・There was no incling that he was still stuck in this purgatory. No heavy responsibility of trying to figure out how to escape.

・There was just peace.

・And warmth in his chest.

・As soon as he woke, he felt deflated.

・That goddamn dream felt so real to Jade, now he awoke to a nightmare. But... at least you were still there. And maybe, he did feel something for you

・All day he felt a little embarrassed whenever you were around. He caught himself staring.

・Finding everything you did to be ethereal.

・Jade saw you in a whole new light. You were more to him now.

・It shocked you when he started speaking to you more; asking about yourself, what life was like before.

・A part of Jade was trying to show himself that you couldn't be as ... perfect as you were in his dream. Yet, the more he got to know you, the more he realised that - FUCK - he would marry you and have a home with you and have kids.

・So yeah ... Jade decided to up his game.

𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒍 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

・Whenever he sees you, he feels his heart beat faster and suddenly Randadll is trying to fix himself to look more presentable before you notice

・The absolute jealousy he gets whenever you compliment someone. His immediate reaction is to go up and fight them, to show you that he's the perfect person for you...

・This one time you had lost one of your most prized possessions (belongings are what keep people somewhat sane) and you were really upset about it. It was a piece of jewellery that had immense sentimental value

・Randall made it his mission to find it.

・Everyday he went to places that you frequented most - it took a week before he found it.

・But when he did, he couldn't wait to show you

・Randall had knocked on your door (you live with the Liu's + Jade), and when you opened it, you were still a little gloomy (yet happy to see him there)

"I've got something for you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Close your eyes and open your hand."

"That's a dangerous request. What if you put ... a frog in it?"

"I don't think there's frogs here (Y/N)," Randall shook his head - a thing that he constantly did around you. But it was always with a smile.

・So you did as he said, keeping one eye open until he told you to close it.

・And when he put your ring in your hand you knew what it was straight away.

"How did you find this?" You said with awe. Complete awe.

・But the way you looked at him ... with such genuine appreciation, he blushed.

・And then you wrapped your arms around him and kissed his cheek.

・...from then on he realised he would kill for you. Hell, he would die for you.

・And somehow, he was going to make you his.

𝑽𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

・His crush on you would be so subtle but not. At first Victor would spend time quietly observing you

・Whenever he would strike up a conversation with you (in his way - quietly, when there isn't so many people around), he would use any information you gave him about yourself and store it inside his mind

・He'd memorise your favourite colour, hobby, if you like reading, drawing, exploring etc.

・Because then he would surprise you with things he's found

・... Ethan would definitely figure it out and hype Victor up. Help him with ideas and such.

"People like flowers, you should get them flowers!"

"Oh, yeah good idea-"

・Likes showing you the places he likes most around town, in the forest, at Colony house etc. He does not do that for ANYONE

・Your kindness was something that he was not used to. Yes people were pleasant toward him, but you seemed to understand him as soon as you met him

・If someone was getting aggressive with you, Victor is WHIPPING OUT his handgun. He is pointing that thing and means it.

"Victor! Where did you get that?!"

"I've had it for a long time."

"Okay, you can, you can put it away now-"

"No, they were going to hurt you. They still might."

"Oh they definitely won't Victor. Not with you around."

・That comment would actually make his heart beat faster.

𝑬𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒔 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

・When he first met you, he wouldn't call you anything other than your last name because he loved how riled up you got

・But with each time spent together, your last name was said with such ... feeling, that it felt like he was calling you 'sweetheart' or 'my love.'

・You fell asleep on him once and he didn't move for the whole night. Just sat still because he knew if he moved, you would apologise and move... that's when everyone realised he was head over heels for you.

・He's painted you over and over; never really 'capturing you quite right'.

・Whatever he has, he shares with you; food, water, alcohol, literally any resource.

・Offers you his jacket and loves when you accept it. It feels like you're his

・Ellis is a confident person, he would have so much banter with you, exchange in witty remarks, and subtle (or not-so-subtle) flirtations

・He has a lot of charisma, an easy charm that he would lay on thick whenever you were around.

・For a long time you thought he was just being a cocky asshole - pulling your strings to sometimes rile you up or doing it because he was bored

・Once he did upset you, and he felt like his heart split in two. One of his jokes went too far, and hit a nerve.

・You didn't let him see you cry, but you didn't speak to him for days.

・He sought you out, and apologised. Over and over again

・You accepted it, especially when he gave you a bouquet of flowers and some candy he'd found

[ashes-goin-down]

I think Cartman hates jewish people and -Kyle- too much to be vulnerable like you've depicted. No matter what level of physical attraction he might feel.

Hi there, thanks for your comment. Unfortunately I wrote a whole-ass novel in response so here's the TL;DR so you don't actually have to read all that: I agree that the comic is OOC but I don't think it's because of Cartman's hatred of Kyle or Jewish people.

Sorry for misusing your message to go on a somewhat loosely related rant but I've been meaning to write this for a while and it came as a convenient excuse lmao _

I agree with you regarding the vulnerability. I don't think Cartman would voice his feelings like that unless (he could claim that) it's a farce (e.g., Jenny Simons, "Cartman Finds Love") or the other person shows interest in him first so he feels safe from rejection (Heidi, initially - not opening that whole can of worms rn lol). For example, he treated his attraction to Patty Nelson as a big secret, apparently not even considering ever confessing to her, and that's most likely because he was expecting the reaction she did end up giving him since, beneath his self-deceit, he's excruciatingly aware of the fact that he's actually not exactly highly regarded by his peers.

It's a lot of work upholding the façade he's build for himself of being this cool, esteemed person and it cracks easily even without direct outside influence (for example when Clyde Frog or Cupid Me insult him) so he really, really doesn't deal with rejection very well. Him being this vulnerable to Kyle specifically and then getting rejected would be absolutely catastrophic for him, so I agree that he wouldn't put himself in that position. However, it's my opinion that the most OOC thing about the comic is the fact that he simply acknowledges that Kyle hates him. I don't actually think he'd just accept that but would instead convince himself that it isn't true ("Kyle has internalized homophobia" or better yet "Kyle doesn't think he's worthy of someone as cool and awesome as me") and then do some crazy shit to try and win him over.

So yeah, you're right: He Would Not Fucking Say That. I don't think his hatred of Kyle and/or Jewish people is the reason he wouldn't, though, as I believe Cartman's feelings towards Kyle and Judaism are a lot more complicated than that. It's not without reason that his relationships with both are such a big part of the show and that people smarter than me have written whole essays on the topic lmao

I feel the need to clarify that I am in no way trying to excuse any of Cartman's antisemitism! I'd just like to voice a few thoughts on its origin and evolution.

Cartman is clearly weirdly obsessed with both Kyle and his religion and obviously they are linked. While I suppose initially it might have been a bit of a chicken-egg situation ("He hates Kyle because he hates Jews" vs. "He hates Jews because he hates Kyle"), I believe originally his antisemitism may have simply been a byproduct of his fascination with the third reich, which itself I think was mostly a result of his enjoyment of envisioning himself as a dictator (i.e. the ultimate authority figure) and as such was actually pretty surface-level - as is evident from the fact that for a long time he didn't seem to fully grasp what exactly Judaism even IS (as shown when he apologizes to Kyle for calling him a Jew or when he uses the term as an insult towards Stan and Kenny). Still, I very much dislike it when people try to downplay his bigotry as naivety. That really doesn't hold any water after very early on in the show, if it ever even did in the first place, since he definitely acts from a place of malice and over time his fixation on the religion seems to have developed into something bigger. He's learnt more about it and it became much more synonymous with Kyle for him (the order of which is also debatable but I of course lean a certain way). At this point in the show I believe it's safe to say that he wouldn't be nearly as obsessed with Judaism if Kyle wasn't Jewish. While Cartman is obviously a bigoted asshole in many ways, he's not nearly as preoccupied with other minority groups as he is with Jews and he has even shown himself to be surprisingly tolerant of homosexuals and disabled people (who, of course, were also heavily persecuted under Nazism).

I really do think that "Jewpacabra" did leave a lasting impact on his character. It's pretty obvious that he was being genuine at the end of of the episode and actually did intent on self-identifying as Jewish from then on (and iirc M&T confirmed as much in the commentary to that episode and explained that they just sort of… forgot about that lol) and then in "Shots" he does claim to be Jewish and while that may have been in an attempt to get a vaccination exemption, the aforementioned commentary makes me believe it may not exclusively be that.

Notably, he specifically calls himself an "Orthodox Jew", which Kyle obviously doesn't seem to be and that ties in nicely with him becoming a rabbi in PC and making the religion his entire personality - because it's not enough to become Jewish: He needs to beat Kyle at being Jewish.

Of course, Cartman never actually stops being antisemitic before the time skip but then "Cupid Ye" implies that that isn't even a fully conscious decision that he can completely control but instead at least partially caused by whatever he has going on mentally. He even actively attempts to counteract it when he decides that it has gone too far. That's my take on the episode, at least. Obviously the whole thing with Cupid Me is kind of messy. No matter what exactly is actually happening there, I do think the his actions here prove that his feelings regarding the matter are more complex than they may initially appear to be.

Though I know it's still a point of contention for many, to me personally it seems pretty clear that him being a rabbi and a family man in PC was authentic and that he wasn't simply messing with Kyle the entire time. However, I find it extremely interesting that Cartman converted BEFORE meeting Yentl so I actually don't see any way in which Kyle didn't have any part in that and as such I don't think he would have ever become a rabbi if Kyle didn't happen to be Jewish. So my personal headcanon is that while Cartman's conversion was indeed directly influenced by Kyle, he actually did end up finding fulfillment in the faith and it ironically helped him let go of his obsession with him (which I think fits the show's style of humor).

To summarize: As a shipper I may be biased but I think that Cartman is a disturbed little boy who grows up to be a disturbed little man who fails to fully understand his feelings towards Kyle and - as an extension of that - the Jewish faith and thus lashes out into extremes regarding it.

[senbbonzakura]

main 3 meeting y/n's parents for the first time

🗯️ tw : none

💭 a/n : this was requested by someone but i accidentally deleted their request, im so sorry!!😭😭

Stan :

is really stressed

feels so honoured at the same time tho

like??? u want him to meet ur parents???!!!

i guess he ascended to a higher level

tries to do some small talk but hes sooo nervous he stutters a lot and it shows that hes nervous

on the inside he just prays for them to stop talking

NOT IN A BAD WAY... HES JUST STRESSED

Kyle :

dressed really neatly smh

is also nervous but it doesnt really show

talks with your parents normally

also has sm respect for them

like deadazz

they think hes a really sweet boy and definitely invite him to come over more

Kenny :

hes not nervous at ALL

is actually rlly chill with ur parents

treats them like his friends so bonus points if ur parents are very chill

if he knows they're strict or something, he will try to act more neat tho

doesnt want ur parents to think hes a bad influence on u or smth

[j0kb0x]

Since guts and blackpowder gives us free range for the characters here’s some personal headcanons for their personalities and lives given you can only psychoanalyze them so much. This is as realistic as I can make it based off surface level psychoanalysis + untrue garbage I made up.

Barry:

Despite his short temper (Typical brit) Williams is socially inept and shy. Like super timid. That dumb little softboy persona he has going on there shouldn’t be an indicator that he isn’t dangerous. Dude literally got trained as an infantry solider. He doesn’t want to hurt people, in fact, he avoids it when he can. The war is needless to him and he doesn’t understand why they’d draft someone like him — a lowly stableboy who’s quite known in his village for treating his horses and farm animals like his babies. His overly affectionate and polite personality (which came directly from his overbearing mother) has landed him a lot of bullying by his peers. Aforementioned hesitation to the enemy, but to zombies? He’s under the belief they’re from satan himself like the rest of the world. Afraid of them, but feels a spiritual duty to slay God’s enemies.

Jean:

He’s overly paranoid of Napoleon failing, and holds those french revolutionary beliefs. He wants Napoleon to win, so badly. He really doesn’t want his children living in a world with a stupid monarchy eating better than they do. Jean has no comprehension that maybe Napoleon isn’t the best fit for a country’s leader, in fact he’ll yell at you if you suggest otherwise. His wife died during childbirth and this, coupled with war has hardened him. He has never laid a single hand on his children because his father was deeply abusive, and of course this resulted in a pretty pessimistic, sad, depressed mess of a man. Constantly wanting better and yet fearing the worst. He’s a tough love kind of fatherly friend. Eat your damn rations or you will die. Speaking of which he literally wants to die :D

Jacob:

If this were modern day he’d be legally blind. His clumsiness isn’t the result of stupidity. The direct opposite in fact. He overthinks his job way too much and couple that with his dogshit eyesight, it’s no wonder he has a track record of being the napoleonic war’s personal south park Kenny. If ever a cartoon were made, I could l definitely see him in the background nailing in stakes incorrectly and getting confused as to why it wasn’t as affective as the other sapper’s. He has two sisters back at home and they hate him. They’re pro-monarchy, he isn’t. He raised and took care of these awful pieces of shit. Who were independent thinking teenagers by the time their parents died of sickness. So he couldn’t really influence them even if he tried. He has largely remained non(?) un(?) courted and unmarried his entire life. Hes a huge wine mom induced by stress and if you ever asked him why he never took a wife, he’d start spontaneously crying probably. Sad drunk. Cannot show emotions unless he’s drunk.

Karl / Unnamed Officer:

Selective mutism, ambition.. Way too much ambition. He wants to take down Napoleon himself and even fully believes he’s capable of doing so. Wants to cheat his way above the ranks somehow. He hides this and refuses to reveal his intentions to virtually anyone. Trying to get as close to the general as possible. Not because he agrees with the monarchy thing, but he just wants the fame and glory that comes along with executing him. The other men have horrible tempers but him? Holy. shit. He does not usually act upon his anger but as a wise man once said, “Silence speaks louder than words.” He silently judges those he’s angry at. Could imagine him getting teased, gripping a damn teacup so hard that it shatters in his hand and causes the entire room to go quiet. His whole regiment is batshit TERRIFIED of him. He refuses to betray his life story, let alone if he has any family. Nobody knows crap about him and that furthers the fear. Karl literally popped out of nowhere and his adorable babyface and gentle voice has won him the hearts of women wishing to be his wives… Whom he rudely pushed away in disgust. Has anyone seen that one scene in pootie tang where a woman is simping after him, and so he slips her a bowl of milk like a fucking clingy cat? Yeah I feel Karl would pull something like that.

[southangel]

Hello! I hope you're doing well ⭐🌟!

Can I get some drama and angst?

How would Stan, Cartman, and Kenny react to their kid getting into fights more and more often in school? They get into more and more violent fights, although they hide that pretty well (the bruises, etc.). Eventually they get caught (how long can you fight in school before they get you or someone rats you out?). The last fight was so brutal that it required both parties to get medical attention. So the school decides to call their dad to inform him about the incident and the fact that his kid will be suspended or even expelled if they don't change their behavior. 

Cartman will probably be annoyed that he has to go to his kid's school to sort this out haha. He has better things to do like for example watching TV

Thank you for your time, and keep up the good work!

(I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with the platonic requests :'o)

Stan, Kenny, Cartman Their Kid in Fights

Warnings: mentions of violence, slight gore

Notes: Oh my God I’m genuinely so sorry this took so long. I have so many things I need to finish and i’ve just been procrastinating my requests and it’s a really bad habit. I swear i’ll try being more active, also I promise i’m not annoyed with the platonic requests.

Stan Marsh

I feel that Stan would be surprised, but at the same time kind of expecting it?

Stan has warned you ever since you started getting into fights, trying to influence you to stop before this became a habit.

He would really prefer if you didn’t get into fights so often, especially since he just doesn’t want you to get hurt.

Stan tries to get you to stop, but it’s as if something else is influencing you to keep fighting.

You aren’t this violent anywhere else, he’s genuinely concerned about it.

His concern only grows even more once you start coming home with bruises and scabs, the calls from the nurse don’t make it any better.

Having Stan come to your school, pulling him out of work, isn’t ideal for him at all.

Not happy with everything he’s told, who would be?

Stan most likely scolds you badly, going as far to risk getting suspended or expelled was the last thing he expected from you.

He’ll probably ground you for a long time, but will end up feeling bad and talking to you about it later.

Kenny Mccormick

Kenny isn’t happy to hear about your school habits.

Kenny had a feeling this would happen from the beginning, but thought you would grow out of using violence so strongly.

He didn’t intend to raise you like this. Is it that hard to just stay out of trouble, even for just a single day?

He’s surprised you haven’t gotten suspended yet, detention is the worst you’ve gotten.

His disappointment shows more once he notices your bruises in the most random areas, was it necessary to go that far?

You know that Kenny cares about you, he’s trying to be the best dad he can and get you to take your anger out on other ways.

Definitely the most upset, not angry out of the three.

Kenny is just overall disappointed, he mostly just cares about your safety more than anything else.

Seeing you walk around in bandages that practically show more than your own skin does not make anything better.

Will ground you for this, but he wants you to understand that it’s for your own good and mainly brought this upon yourself.

Eric Cartman

Cartman doesn’t really care much about what happens in your school life.

Get into fights as much as you want, he’s done it before.

Cartman underestimated how many fights you get into though, and how far you really take them.

As long as you or the school aren’t bugging him about it, he doesn’t care. The school is always calling..

You definitely take after him, so it doesn’t surprise Cartman that you often come home bruised up or stuck in huge drama.

Once Cartman gets informed about this big fight you had, it’s obvious that he’ll be pissed off.

What does it have to do with him? Just because you’re his kid, doesn’t mean this fight has anything to do with him.

Then again, the other family just seems so aggravating. You’re still his kid, he’s not going to let you take the fall like that.

Cartman ends up getting the other family to get the harsher punishment, you really don’t know how he does it..

He does feel a little bad seeing you medical care for most of your injuries, so he buys you things that you might like and just leaves it in your room.

Cartman doesn’t do much at home discipline, but probably yells at you for causing this whole conflict in the first place.

[hunnysnoops]

I dunno if you still do HCs but if you do could you maybe do fame headcannons?? pretty please

˗ˋ𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝔽𝕒𝕞𝕖 ℍℂ𝕤ˊ˗

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman

“I know you wanted me to stay but I can’t ignore the crazy visions of me in La.”

STAN

So insanely awkward in pictures

Sees a camera and freezes like this 🧍‍♂️

Short answers in interviews (yes, no, I guess)

Famous for Crimson Dawn obvi

Writes songs about his exes

I think he would be polite to fans and paparazzi generally

Goes back to South Park to talk at the school

I don’t think he would be very flashy with his money

Wears the same clothes from high school

I can imagine him wearing the same dirty ass decrepit converse that are falling apart and they become a joke in his fan base

Read his snark subreddit once and defended himself under a secret account

Doesn’t respond to rumours or scandal

Talks about a guy from high school but he’s really just talking about Kyle

KYLE

Despises the paparazzi

Toby Maguire vibes

Definitely yells at them and has threatened to break a camera more than once

Has actually broken a camera

Doesn’t like being asked for pictures when he’s eating, will not hesitate to say no when he’s not in the mood

Really good at handling rumours and scandal

I can see an early retirement for him

Probably got famous as an actor

He just wants to grocery shop like a normal person

Went on Hot Ones and almost died, bro was on the floor coughing and clutching his throat

Keeps his family out of the limelight at all costs

Speaks out against other celebrities with ideologies he disagrees with

Writes letters for his SO whenever he has to go away

Generally avoids dating to keep them out of tabloids

Pretty polarizing in general

Kenny

Super polite to service workers

Loves taking pictures with fans but hates the paparazzi

Films the paparazzi back and chases them

Either famous from Crimson Dawn or his science career

Super active on social media

Comments on posts like he isn’t famous

So many videos of him just casually chilling in the crowd at concerts and skateboarding around the city

Also takes the subway

“Who wants to watch me do a back flip?” Lands it 50/50

Genuinely interested in his fans- asks them questions about themselves in return

Spams his instagram story 24/7

Films himself trying new foods

Definitely watches edits of himself on a secret account

Occasionally will follow a random fan account just to make their day

Trolls the paparazzi by wearing the same outfit multiple days in a row

Cartman

Probably got famous as an influencer and social climbed

He has been on every podcast you can think of

Will not stop tweeting- every single thought he has goes online

Got arrested in a foreign country

Has been blacklisted almost everywhere in LA

Calls the paparazzi on Kyle

Films everything super obnoxiously-shoves his phone in others faces “Guys, check this out.”

Twitch streams

Has had multiple social media accounts banned/suspended

Ran one of those alpha male scam courses

EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL

Name drops everyone

Knows everyone’s secrets and casually drops them on his podcast

Sells super low quality merch

Weirdly has a cult of middle school boys who defend his every action

[venusloveslobotomies]

Kenny, Kyle and Butters w a shy/ s/o

Kyle

Kyle’s such a sweetie omg. He’s so defensive about you and always protects you from any mean comments anyone might make.

I feel like he’d also be pretty private about relationships, so you guys would always have dates at home or go on walks in the forest instead of restaurants.

He definitely had to ask you out. No question. He would’ve been so careful and sweet so that he didn’t freak you out. Totally romantic too. Probably gave you flowers and everything.

People question how the hell you two work? Hot headed and stubborn and the shy, sweet person? They don’t know how but you guys still get along so well.

You guys always cuddle at home. In privacy, he’s so gentle with you and always asks for permission to do anything. He does get more confident later in the relationship, as do you.

Study dates!!! In the public library though, not the school one. It’s a lot quieter.

He knows your coffee order and bring you coffee before classes.

Kenny

Kenny is someone who for sure takes you out of your comfort zone. He’s got a lot of personality when you get to know him.

Loves showing you off. Always holding your hand or your waist. It probably makes you feel grounded and safe though.

He’s such a protective guy fr. He tends to keep you away from Cartman and Craig’s gang just because he isn’t sure how nice they’ll be to you. You’ve hung out with Butters, Kyle and Stan a fair bit though!

I think he likes how shy you are because it means he never has to be jealous of other guys.

Definitely walks you home. I think you guys spend a lot of time at your place, cooking or watching TV.

You guys probably share headphones in class or while studying. He likes to lean his head on your shoulder when he’s not writing notes.

You were so nervous about meeting Karen but she loves you and Kenny brings her around as much as possible. You’re probably happy to play with her or help her with schoolwork.

Butters

What can I say, he’s a darling. Always flaunting you to everyone. Taking you out on nice dates all the time, etc.

His parents actually probably like you since you’re so soft-spoken and do your best to be likeable. They probably think you’re a good influence on him.

You guys probably message all night and then are exhausted in class.

Like Kyle, he knows your coffee order and brings you coffee everyday.

He definitely insists on always paying for everything. (He’s broke but he loves making you happy)

Will always notice if you’re getting anxious and does his very best to comfort you. Holds your hand ALWAYS in public. Even if his friends are assholes about it.

Completely dedicated to you. One of his female friends makes you insecure? Blocked on everything, no contact ever again. Maybe he overcompensates a bit, but he means the best for you.

[riddle-rosethorns]

I can't believe I missed the fact that your requests are open! I've failed you, Mr. President... ;_;

Request time: could I get some headcanons for what kinds of music the housewardens listen to?

The Housewardens' Music Taste

Summary: Having your own private dorm room at NRC means having the freedom to blast whatever you want through your speakers. But just what exactly are our dorm leaders listening to when nobody else is around?

Characters: All Housewardens Pairings: None CWs: Swearing, she/they pronouns for Idia.

A/N: I'm sorry this took *checks calendar* almost ten months for me to answer, I promise it hasn't been for lack of interest! Sometimes writing is hard and my brain is mean. Thank you for your patience! These takes are admittedly heavily biased by my own music taste and knowledge, so feel free to let me know if you think I missed any artists!

Riddle Rosehearts

You can't convince me his mom wasn't constantly playing classical music for him when he was growing up. I honestly think he still defaults to classical music, especially to improve his focus while reading or studying.

I also think Cater has definitely exposed him to a lot more modern music and, though he is undoubtedly very picky, there's even some of it he likes.

Artists that come to mind for Riddle include Vivaldi, Tchaikovsky, Red Velvet, and Mitski.

Leona Kingscholar

For the most part, I'd imagine Leona mostly listens to pretty chill music that's easy to nap to, like R&B or soft rock.

That's not to say he doesn't actively enjoy listening to music though. If he's in the mood to jam, I could see him turning on some hip-hop or even some angry punk music.

Artists that come to mind for Leona include Lil Nas X, Gorillaz, Gym Class Heroes, and The Weeknd.

Azul Ashengrotto

Lounge music feels like the easy answer here. Lots of smooth jazz and easy listening.

However, I also can't resist suggesting that Azul might have a secret fondness for electro-swing that he keeps secret due to the genre's reputation for being considered "cringe".

Artists that come to mind for Azul include Frank Sinatra, Kenny G, Michael Bublé, and Caravan Palace.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim strikes me as one of those guys that would say that he likes every genre of music, only he would actually mean every genre- rap and country included.

That being said, his preference definitely skews heavily in the direction of songs that he can dance to. Bonus points if the composition and instrumentation have a clear Scalding Sands influence.

Artists that come to mind for Kalim include Cascada, Saint Levant, Shakira, and Christina Aguilera.

Vil Schoenheit

For Vil, my brain immediately jumps to all the gayest, poppiest, cunt-serviest stuff I can think of. Imagine every song you and your friends might put on a playlist for pride with some sad girl music sprinkled in for flavor.

Being in Film Studies Club, I'd also imagine he spends a decent amount of time listening to and analyzing movie soundtracks, though whether this counts as part of his "music taste" is up for debate.

Artists that come to mind for Vil include Lady Gaga, Todrick Hall, Britney Spears, and MARINA.

Idia Shroud

This bitch's playlists are absolutely filled with Vocaloid songs, nightcore remixes, anime openings, and video game soundtracks. She is an absolute fucking nerd and I know her music taste reflects this. Let's not forget she is canonically an idol stan.

As for "normal" music, I think they probably listen to about what you'd expect- weird emo shit.

Artists that come to mind for Idia include My Chemical Romance, Utsu-P, Yasuharu Takanashi, and Will Wood.

Malleus Draconia

I genuinely don't even know where to start with Malleus. I feel like this guy listens to Gregorian chants and spooky Halloween sound effect compilations.

In all seriousness, I feel like Malleus would greatly enjoy pieces involving stringed instruments, seeing as he has a talent for playing them. The rest of his music taste probably stems from whatever Lilia and the others have exposed him to, and so is likely very strange.

Artists that come to mind for Malleus include The Correspondents, Burn the Ballroom, Scissor Sisters, and Lindsey Stirling.

[midnightemy35]

Walkis Six Headcannons

Warnings! : Slight Mashle Manga spoilers!! (Most of these are after innocent zero had been defeated)

Mostly fluff and crack (some slight angst)

Charles is definitely the mom friend in the friend group. He admires his mother so greatly he has definitely been influenced by her behaviour and started to ‘mother’ his friends. (Especially since some of them have parental issues)

Post-Innocent Zero, Domina began to open up more to the others in the group. Domina began to talk a lot more about his interests and started to become more active when interacting with others in general

Galuf’s laughter is extremely contagious. When Kenny tells his puns, Galuf always laughs (canon) and everyone around just start laughing as well

Malcom has a small bee farm at home that he takes care of. Every once in a while he gifts a jar of honey to everyone.

After Lovie started to recover, he was insistent on enrolling into Walkis Academy and meet Lévis’ friends but Lévis was insistent that he does not

One day, while touring around the school, Lovie met Galuf who mistook him for Lévis and Lovie managed to convince Galuf to let him meet the rest of the friend group

Lévis was kinda upset because he wanted Lovie to study somewhere safer but Lovie really wanted to study together with Lévis

Kenny has the coldest fucking hands and he will be a little shit and put his hands on anyone at the most unexpected moments

Malcom jumps like six feet in the air when Kenny does this to him and it is so funny to watch this large man suddenly shoot up into the air

Charles always carries around eyedrops for Galuf’s dry eyes

Whenever Charles is on call with his mom, they either do that thing where they make a shit ton of questionable sounds in the background or they all crowd around to say hi to Charles’ mom

Charles has brought his friends home to meet his mom once and now they are all her unofficial adopted children. Everyone finally understands why Charles is so obsessed with her

^ Domina loves the apple pie she makes

Domina visits Innocent Zero occasionally and he often talks about the stuff that the gang gets up to during these visits. Innocent Zero may seem like he doesn’t really care but he’s a little happy that Domina has friends to keep him company

Kenny always has a lollipop in his mouth and it is getting concerning how many lollipops he consumes everyday

Each time they go out as a group, Charles is getting closer and closer to buying those backpack leashes for everyone in the group

If Domina isn’t wandering off because something caught his eye, Lévis and Galuf have accidentally started a fight. Kenny is on his fifth lollipop and Charles has to stop him from eating another out of concern for his blood sugar and Malcom is talking to the little ants on the sidewalk

Though as consolation, Charles gets a #2 mom mug from the group on mother’s day (#1 mom is obviously Charles’ own mom)

Someone help Charles before all his hair turns white before he turns 30 from dealing with all these dumbasses

Everyone in the group thought Lovie was an angel the first time they met him. They do not believe that Lévis is related to him even though they look exactly the same

I made a part two!

[neptune-archive]

tweek, butters & kenny with a stereotypical 'mean girl' older sister!

notes 💎 this fic was heavily inspired by @/pineappleciders older sibling piece! so credits to him ^_^ anyways this is heavily based on the 2000's vibes of mean girls, apologies if it isn't accurate!

TWEEK T.

constantly worries for you

has told you a lot of times that too much makeup will stop your skin from breathing or that the chemicals will eat away at your hair which you swat him away when he does that.

has gone so far as to hide your makeup products around the house for 'your own good'.

ALSO says that the underwear gnomes will steal your underwear too.

you have lost count of the times you have cussed him out due to his weird imagination ( he says it's real ) but you always feel bad after.

you help him do his hair sometimes and he LOVES it.

he loves it when you baby him too.

he expresses his love through gifts: coffee, lego models, cards, etc.

you both take turns in giving each other dating advice.

he often comes to you after fighting with craig and you try your best to comfort him.

is often in denial of how much he enjoys your company.

you share his love of coffee too but not to his extent.

KENNY M.

both of you obviously have the good genes in the family.

he judges your taste in men while you judge his taste in women.

constantly makes fun of your boyfriends behind your back and whistles at your friends.

they don't take him seriously though.

to be honest I can see kenny stealing your clothes for his princess kenny cosplay.

the amount of times you have caught him using your makeup and making a fool out of himself are very embarrassing.

boasts about you a lot to his friends.

he annoys you for fun when he's bored because he gets a kick out of your pissy mood.

definitely sends you those tiktok siblings trends and begs you to do it with him:

'wanna try it out 🥺'

'stfu'

sees you more than a friend he can rely on than a sibling but still loves you a lot nonetheless.

also comforts you through your thousand breakups.

it's a daily routine for him at this point.

BUTTERS S.

you make him cry A LOT.

it's either you gaslight him into thinking everything is a hallucination of his or you fight with him for fun ( he always gets hurt )

your friends LOVE him.

they think he's adorable.

you pick him up from school in your pink car.

people laugh at him for it but he thinks it's so cool.

your interests = his interests

he just wants to be like you!

that's where his love for hello kitty came in.

always asks for your help about games. and he loves showing off his achievements to you even if it's a small one.

"how do I log in?? i don't have an email."

"look [name]! I just won against GayHomo_87!"

you dislike it when other people bully him, because only you can can do that.

you teach him how to be a better man and how not to be like his friends since he can get heavily influenced.

he likes it when you put makeup on him

he loves sibling bonding time in general!!

[lesinquietes]

A RoBW snippet 😌

Yandere!Levi x AFAB!Reader

18+ please.

—

Levi gazes out at his troops, searching the shores with their gear. They’re armed to the teeth. He’s forced to play the role of a protective captain by encouraging his soldiers to be prepared. Only he knows they won’t need their weapons to shoot a dead man.

A storm was forecasted for this morning. If the weather gets too bad, he’ll have to call it. He hopes it won't come to that. The less time he has to spend out here, the better. It’s colder in the open field, by the water; he’d much rather be in your lighthouse, cuddled up in your bed.

That reminds him, you need a new boiler. When he was meddling with it, he noticed it has a bad habit of shutting off without prompt. He barely had to whack it. You must be freezing in there on a regular basis. He’ll see what he can do about replacing it, if you’re going to be in this hovel a while longer; he can’t have his woman getting frostbite.

He stares at the sea, silver irises scoping over the waves. The evening he confronted Grisha is still quite vivid in his mind. He remembers when it was difficult to harm another human being; then, his uncle Kenny showed him how it’s done. He called it survival. His victims and their kin called it brutality. He supposes the definition is contingent on one’s perspective.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there, gazing at the violent ocean. Seconds, minutes, but certainly not hours. He comes to when he hears one of his men yell.

“We found him!”

The lance corporal’s heart sinks. Already? Part of him is glad. It means they won’t have to be out here anymore. It means he can get back to his job of procuring you as his own, and continue plotting to bring you back to Sina with him. Another part of him is nervous. This is his crime, after all. He’s gotten away with shit like this in the past, though never to this degree… and not without Erwin’s immediate influence.

He squints in the direction of the call. A pool of soldiers have gathered around the area. He sprints over to assess the scene, praying he didn’t miss any minor details.

Meanwhile, Jean feels like he’s on autopilot. There’s no mistaking the frigid corpse’s identity. It’s Grisha Jäeger. The only alteration to his physical appearance — beyond adorning a frosty shade of death — is the bullet hole between his terrified, decaying eyes.

[asteria7fics]

I keep thinking of Stan having braces in his early teens.

I think Stan would maybe have a very awkward phase in his early teens with braces, voice cracking and maybe a growth spurt that makes his limbs feel too long for his own body.

And then in his late teens, he's grown into a total hunk of a man

You know something funny? I was just thinking the other day about which kids would have braces!

Imo I think Wendy and Craig would definitely have them. Cartman mentions Craig having "fucked up teeth" in The List, and Wendy mentions herself that her bottom teeth are crooked in The Hobbit.

Tweek is also mentioned in Tweek vs Craig to maybe have crooked teeth? Though he claims that isn't correct when the boys lie saying Craig claimed as much, so you can go either way with it, I think. Though with that meth addiction his teeth are probably pretty messed up, but not in a way that braces could fix. Sorry, king.

I also personally headcanon Kenny as having crooked teeth, though I don't think I have any canon basis to back that up. I just think it would be cute! Oh man, what about a snaggle tooth?? That would help explain why the Japanese think he's so gosh darn adorable.

Personally as an aggressive Style shipper I like to imagine Stan complaining about kissing Wendy when she has braces and how uncomfortable it is for him, and that this at least partially influenced Kyle not to get braces to correct the small gap in his front teeth.

Stan being an über dorky teen is iconic though, and frankly I think all the kids have a super awkward phase from like 13-16. It's an important rite of passage!

[lowlywriter]

Helloooo again (´∀｀)!!

I accidentally missed the last update for Lost in Paradise, last week since I was busy with school, and only remembered to check today and gah—!

Firstly, I have to say I love love love the domesticity of this latest chapter; it’s a breath of fresh air from the tension and uncertainty of the last chapters. Not to say the tension was bad or anything, but augh, it’s good to see them all settling in as a big family and falling into a routine.

I also would like to mention that I really like how you portray Yaga! It feels whenever he gets brought up in other fanfics, there’s an air of resentment pointed towards him, but I feel yours gives some humanity and fatherly-ness that he has. Like yeah, he didn’t protect the trio as good as he could have, but unlike Gojo when Gojo became a teacher, he didn’t have the influence or power to butt heads with the world of jujutsu. Needless to say, it was pleasant seeing him show up again and the school environment—oh, I still remember the days of Gojo and Yuji riding the Rainbow Dragon in the school courtyard (*´-`)

Gonna cut myself off before I ramble for too long, but ahh!! Kenjaku mentionnnn… I feel you are cooking up something in the kitchen and I’m almost too scared to peek in. Are we going to enter the final arc of this fanfic with Kenjaku?

Anyway, hope you have a great day whenever you read this :D your fanfic always cheers me up, and I have a definite newfound appreciation for the weekly updates—I just finished a 12k word chapter and my brain’s gonna be cooked for a while. Can’t wait for the next chapter!!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Hello again!

Sorry for the late response, I've been super busy and haven't had the time (or mental willpower) to reply or so much as touch my computer the past couple days! I'm finally getting some days :)

I honestly love writing the domestic stuff (especially with SatoSugu being in love and their kids!) It felt like we all needed some normal family fluff, and I'm also slowly working on tying up some loose ends as I go. I just know I'm going to have so much fun with the sequel/ oneshot collection fic that I've got planned out for when the fic's finished. I've also been halfheartedly working on a no curses SatoSugu + kids fic AU, but I'm not sure when that'll see the light of day :D

I love Yaga as a character! I agree that he could've done better for the trio when they were in school, but I also don't think the blame falls on him alone. It feels like everyone (the students included) held him on a pedestal when he was just a normal sorcerer like everyone else, maybe even below most sorcerers at that. I love the fics where he's like a pseudo father to Satoru, so it felt like it would fit here. He's definitely got that hardass yet secretly a softie fatherly vibe to him, which makes him fun to work with (like Itadori Wasuke).

I do indeed have something cooking >:D Kenny boy is definitely one of the last arcs of the fic that I need to clear up, and I'm very excited to get it written and posted!

Thanks again for your lovely asks! I always look forward to seeing if one ends up in the inbox after I've posted a chapter! I'm glad you're still enjoying the fic!! I'll definitely check out your new update when I've got a second! <3

[melishade]

War timeline.when the survivors of marley reach paradis and discover the truth

Previous Episode of the War Timeline

So I do have to reference @justawannabearchaeologist and @echoblaze5 because I did discuss the next parts with them. But I do have to focus on the island first. The survivors of Marley are another time.

TW Horror TW Gore TW injury TW death

So! As the outside world is completely going to shit because of the Decepticons, the Survey Corps have contained Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie and discovered that humanity isn't extinct. Now there is an argument about submitting this information to the public because there was no coup. Rod and the others are still in powers, and they want to suppress that information to keep the power that they have. Hell, they had to go through great lengths to suppress the fact that Jack, Miko, and Raf were from another world that was over-populated with humans. Kenny had to kill a few people to do that.

But the problem is that the Survey Corps had just experienced a significant boost in popularity because they got Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie. They got the people responsible for the fall of Wall Maria. With the Autobot's might, they are going to cause technological advancements so big that people will want to leave the Walls forever. Rod and the others are losing their influence because of them and that needs to change. But they've been watched from the shadows, by Airachnid.

Now, Airachnid knows for a fact that Megatron sent her out on a suicide mission because he no longer trusted her and wanted her out of the way. I mean, her, go up against a power that could potentially flatten this world? She wasn't a fool. But maybe she could take the powers of the Founder for herself, use it to go kill Megatron and take over the Decepticons. Airachnid’s not stupid enough to work with humans again, not after what happened with her alliance with MECH that almost got her killed. So instead, she just starts kidnapping the people of the inner walls one by one as to not arouse suspicion. She knows that the Autobots are here, but if she reports it, the Decepticons will come to the island and she can’t get that power for herself.

She gets her hands on Rod and Kenny manages to escape but is wounded, but not before swiping an armored serum from Rod’s supplies.

Airachnid tortures Rod and demands to know about the powers of the Founder and where it is. Rod ends up confessing that someone outside of the royal family took it and passed it onto his son, Eren Jaeger. Airachnid is delighted to hear the news, but Rod tells her that she won’t be able to use it. Only someone of royal blood can do so. He says this thinking that Airachnid might still need him to find Krista, but Airachnid starts laughing. Airachnid doesn’t mind, as the Decepticons have Zeke Jaeger, so she can just steal him when she gets Eren. Airachnid ends up killing Rod as he begs for his life because he’s no longer useful to her.

Unfortunately for Airachnid, she ends up getting someone on the radar of the Survey Corps: Pastor Nick. The Survey Corps realize he’s missing just as they were about to embark back to Wall Maria to repair the gate. Mike has been commenting about the air smelling like venom and acid lately. It’s been bothering him. Erwin decides to trust Mike’s judgement and sends Mikasa, Jack, Marco, and Sasha to check it out with a few MPs: Jean, Hitch, and Marlowe. Mike still thinks that something his wrong, really wrong, and tells Mikasa and Jack to take two of the prototype thunder spears Hanji, Raf, and Ratchet have been working on.

So they are looking for Pastor Nick in Wall Sina, cause that's where he was spotted, and things are...tense. Jean can definitely tell there's been a change in Marco since the last time he saw him, and that was when Marco decided to join the Survey Corps. Jean sees that a lot of Marco's joy and innocence is gone, and it makes Jean feel guilty. He ran away to save himself. What does that make him? He also recognizes Jack as one of the people who saved him during Trost, and how he's decked out in the Survey Corps uniform. And Mikasa and Sasha...damn it, he felt like shit.

Meanwhile Marco just feels guilty because Jean is refusing to talk to him and is going to active lengths to avoid him. He missed his friend, and after losing Connie and being betrayed by Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie, it hurts too much. Jack says that maybe Jean just needs some time. Hitch complains about Annie going missing and the Survey Corps definitely feel awkward. And then...Sasha starts trembling and growling. Mikasa asks her what's wrong, but Sasha almost looks like she's going rabid. Marco and Jack are looking at each other, both thinking this has to be connected somehow.

And that's when Kenny stumbles out of the forest in the newer ODM gear, holding his side and falling to the ground, dropping the serum in the process. Jack immediately gets off his horse and tends to Kenny, checking if he's still breathing and giving him some water. Jack doesn't have any cloth, so he ends up taking off his jacket and tying it around Kenny's wound and presses down to stop the bleeding.

Kenny groaned in pain as he finally managed to get a good look at Jack. "Fuck...you're one of those brats."

"I'm trying to save your life here. I could do less without the insults," Jack told him.

"If you think that's an insult," Kenny slurred.

Marco asks what happened. And Kenny can't get another word out cause he's starting to lose consciousness. But he keeps on muttering about a 'spider bitch'. Jack asks Mikasa to help get him on the horse and Kenny is now hanging on the back of Jack's horse. Marco sees the serum box and grabs it. Hitch and Marlowe understandably want to go back. But the Survey Corps still need to investigate, so they camp out of the night. However, Sasha's on edge the entire time. Mikasa can't help but note the 3D gear model that Kenny is wearing is significantly different than theirs. What's with the guns instead of blades? Kenny does wake up and aims his gun at them, but Jack is able to talk him down enough and explain that they were friendly, and that they found him injured.

Kenny states that he's not going with them and is trying to get as far away from here as possible. Jack asks what he's running from, and Kenny just tells him that it's some crazy, metal, spider bitch. But that's enough for Jack to put the pieces together. Sasha's growling, Mike's description of the air smelling like metal and acid.

"Airachnid," Jack gasped in horror, "Airachnid's here."

"Who's that?" Jean demanded.

"She's a Decepticon," Jack gulped, "Arcee has it out for her and Airachnid has it out for me."

"What did you do?" Marco asked.

"I blew up her ship," Jack answered.

"You what?!" Sasha screeched.

Jack explains that Airachnid killed Arcee's partner and went rouge for a while before rejoining the Decepticons on Earth. But if Airachnid is here, that means the other Decepticons have to be here as well.

"When you say others-,"

"I mean others," Jack emphasized, "An army of Decepticons! An entire ship! Cybertronians that don't care about killing humans! That's means Megatron's here too! Oh...oh no. Megatron's here too."

Jack is overwhelmed at the sure danger they were going to be in while the other Survey Corps are genuinely scared. They thought the titans were bad, but Jack didn't freak out as much compared to the thought of the other Decepticons. Marco says that they need to try and stop her. Jean is immediately adamant about the idea, and the two are now arguing. The idea is insane! Killing titans is one thing, but a warrior like those metal titans is out of the question! They did not train for that! Marco tells Jean he has the great capabilities of becoming a good leader. Why is he acting like a coward now?! Jean shoots back at him and says that it's because he's always been a coward! You were too stupid and naïve to see it! The air is now tense, but Jack states that he agrees with Marco. They need to stop Airachnid. Because whatever she's doing, she could report back to the Decepticons and they need to stop that from happening. Jack demands that Kenny tell him where Airachnid is.

"What do I get out of this?" Kenny demanded.

"You are bleeding out! Stop trying to bargain!" Sasha yelled.

Kenny relents and tells him that she's in an underground cave where she's also holding the rest of the government people. Right below the church. Jack then explains how Airachnid operates. Her webs, her acid, her spider legs, her ability to drill underground and her alt mode, which is a helicopter. Sasha asks if her spider legs connect to her sides. Jack explains they connect to one spot on her back. They all realize that they can use the thunder spears to hit that spot, and half of Airachnid's abilities would be gone. But the issue now is that they need to drag her out and get her attention.

Mikasa: How do we stop her?

Marco: We need bait.

Everyone turned to Jack.

Jack: Really?!

Jean: Hey! You said that she had it out for you!

Jack: Doesn't mean I want to be bait!

Sasha: You gotta better option?!

Jack:...at least I'm not dressing in drag and doing the hula.

Hitch and Marlowe don't want to be involved and immediately ask to leave. Jean is almost disgusted, but Jack tells them to go and get help, which the two MPs are more than happy to do. Mikasa asks about Kenny, and Jack decides that they're going to take his 3D gear and give it to Jean, since it looks to be the same mechanism.

"Like hell!" Kenny yelled.

Mikasa pointed a blade at Kenny's neck. "My specialty is cutting up flesh."

Jean wants to protest to this, but Marco give Jean a pleading look, and he can't say no, the guilt eating at him too much. Marco says that Kenny can take his horse, which Kenny begrudgingly agrees to. Kenny rides off and Marco has to ride with Jean. Jack quickly shoots Miko and Raf a text with multiple spider emojis followed by help because he wasn't sure if Soundwave would get wise. The Autobots have managed to create a link between the kids phones without the need of a satellite. Roll with it. Miko and Raf tell the Autobots and Survey Corps and Arcee puts two and two together before booking it hard.

They arrive at the church about two hours later, since Kenny had to travel a long way to get to their location, and find the door to the underground cave. Sasha is growling more erratically now, and Jack can't help but tremble. They were literally going into the lion's den. But they knew what to do: distract Airachnid. Don't let her see Mikasa so she can disable her legs. Jack, Sasha, Marco, and Jean rush in and are in met with the sight of bodies strung up by webs, heads plastered on walls, blood and acid everywhere. Marco saw that some of them were still alive and asked Jack if they could take them down. Jack says to do it fast as he flies on ahead. The air is completely tense as Jack is flying through the cave, trying to find out where Airachnid was while everyone else is cutting down the others and telling them to run as quietly as possible. Sasha notices one of the heads mounted on the wall...looks like Krista. And Sasha feels and overwhelming sense of dread before looking up to see a spider aiming her arms directly at Marco. She tackles Marco out of the way just as Airachnid fires. Sasha screams for Jack before the three split off. Mikasa watching in horror and remaining close behind to perform her ambush. Jack quickly turns back around and flies back to see Airachnid going after Marco. Jack decides 'screw it' and throws one of his blades at Airachnid to get her attention. And it gets her attention.

"Well, Jack, I didn't expect to see you here," Airachnid smirked, "This day just got more interesting."

Airachnid immediately chases Jack and Jack is weaving and bobbing to dodge her strikes and webs. Airachnid almost has Jack pinned down, but Sasha quickly steps on her face and flips back to get her attention.

"Come here, ugly!" Sasha screamed at her, "You sack of shit!"

Airachnid growls at her and starts chasing Sasha, but Marco starts getting in her way too. Marco, Sasha, and Jack are flying around Airachnid and distracting her, but Airachnid can't land a hit on them because they were moving too fast. Jean is terrified to step in and is just hanging back. What was he even supposed to do with these guns?! The blades were clearly not working! They only had one shot to get to her and it relied on Mikasa!

But something happens. Airachnid manages to cut one of Jack's grappling hooks with her legs, causing Jack to hit the ground hard and roll. Sasha and Marco are now distracted, and Airachnid shoots webs at the both of them. Sasha ends up hitting the ceiling while Marco is pinned to the wall.

"You got new toys to play with. How cute!" Airachnid seethed before smirking, "But that's all it is. Toys."

Airachnid turned to Marco and crawled up to him, causing the teen to shake. Jack tries to fire his other grappling hook, but his gear was now busted from the fall.

"Leave him alone! He has nothing to do with this!" Jack yelled at her.

"It's not that simple, Jack." Marco let out a shaky breath as Airachnid grabbed his face, "I want something, and you might be able to get it for me. Where is Eren Jaeger?"

Jack is stunned by the question. Why does she want Eren? Airachnid assumes that he doesn't know about the Founder and proclaims it's a need to know basis. (Remember, Eren hasn't accessed his memories, nor has he encountered Dina.) Airachnid demands he tell her or she's start killing his new playmates one by one. Sasha is struggling in her restraints, but Marco looks at her defiantly and says the Survey Corps Mantra. Airachnid smirks at that and says that can be arranged. Airachnid decides torture first and tears out Marco's right eye, causing him to scream in pain. And it causes Jean to react. He aims the guns at Airachnid and fires. It hits her face and Airachnid is blinded. She's yelling and trying to rub her optics and clear her vision. Jean looks down to see the blue residue on the gun. He doesn't know what it is, but it's working. Jean reloads and fires two more, Airachnid blocks it, but she still can't see very well through her optics. Airachnid then feels something hook onto her back, right were her appendages met, and managed to catch the blurry sight of Mikasa flying past her.

But it was too late. The thunder spear went off, and all of Airachnid's legs were blown off. Airachnid screams in anger and tries to grab Mikasa, but the Ackerman uses the other thunder spear to blow off her arm. As Airachnid is distracted and now trying to flee on two legs, Mikasa quickly cuts down Sasha and cuts down Marco. Jean is mortified at the sight of Marco's injury and quickly helps him up. Jean apologizes for not reacting soon enough and for everything else, but Marco thanks him for saving his life.

Arcee bursts in through the same entrance the others came in and quickly finds Airachnid trying to escape through a tunnel she created during her time on the island. Arcee tackles her before throwing her into a pillar knocking her out hard. Arcee searches frantically for the others and finds them injured but alive. Sasha asks how she got here so fast, and Arcee explains that she saw the text before coming back as soon as possible and finding Hitch and Marlowe who directed her on where to go.

Arcee then drags Airachnid out of the tunnel and to the surface, with the others slowly following. Arcee watches her up top as she regains consciousness. She sees Arcee aiming her blaster at her and smirks.

"When you extinguish my spark, make it hurt," Airachnid requested, "You know I would extend that courtesy to you."

Arcee thinks about it. She really thinks about it, but goes back to the bigger picture, their situation, and what happened the last time Arcee tried to take revenge. It caused this war to be prolonged. There were no doubt others. She needed that information, and...the teens here didn't need to see her lose her shit. She didn't want a repeat of Bumblebee. The Autobots and Survey Corps arrive just in time as Arcee makes her choice.

"I'm not like you." Arcee transformed her arm back into her servo before walking away from the spider. Airachnid tried to stand up and...fight? Flee? The attack from that other human destroyed all her other legs, and no doubt did damage to her spine. She couldn't get up. She was...defenseless. She was at the Autobot's mercy, and she was defenseless.

"I can't help but marvel at such a beautiful shade of purple." a voice spoke. Airachnid felt her arms give out and collapse back on the ground. She saw in her vision a human woman, strolling up to her face with ease. Without a care in the world. Without fear. The human kneeled down and rested a hand on her face before positioning her blade near her optic.

"No pupils. How odd." she tilted her head.

"Who-,"

"My name doesn't matter," she replied, "I've been told that humans don't matter to you Decepticons. So my name shouldn't be important. Although, it's a bit unfortuate that you lost your other limbs. I've never met a titan like you before. The legs would have been interesting for experiments. Oh well, we'll probably just melt your legs down for parts."

"Wh-what?" Airachnid stumbled with her wording.

"As for the rest of you, your webs and your acid, is going to be a marvel to look at." The human's mouth turned upward into a sick and twisted grin, "Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. I'm just going to break you down to your basic components and see what makes you tick. You'll make such a valuable contribution to our cause."

Airachnid felt her arm...shake as the human stood up. Her smile disappeared as she put her sword away.

"What?" she challenged, "Did you expect us to cower in fear at the sight of you? We are trained to kill you. We are the hunters, and you are the prey."

Hanji asks someone to go get the rest of Airachnid's limbs while Marco is tended to for his wounds.

Additional stuff:

-Jean nearly losing Marco to Airachnid causes Jean to not take the cowards way out and join the Survey Corps.

-Marco gives the serum he took from Kenny to Erwin, which Erwin is grateful for.

-When the Autobots and Survey Corps realize what the government was actually doing, they tell the other military branches, and invoke military powers to take over the government and release the information about the notebooks to the rest of the walls.

-When the Survey Corps collect the bodies, Krista recognizes her father's head and...nearly faints at the sight. Ymir asked what was wrong, but Krista can't answer. With some extra prompting, Krista says that the head was that of her father. Someone tries to reassure her, but Krista turns to them with tears of...relief and says that her name is Historia.

-The 3D gear they picked up from Kenny is examined, and the energon shells are in them. Ratchet demands to know how the Allspark this happened. More digging into government officials reveals their nefarious intentions and that the Founding Titan was stolen.

-Kenny never gave his name, so they have no idea that they encountered Levi's uncle.

-Meanwhile, Hanji is practically torturing Airachnid for experiments and knowledge. Which Arcee is happy about, but Optimus is not!

(From Justa: Arcee: Maybe you were right. It was better to leave her alive. : )

Optimus: This is not what I meant, and you know it.)

But Hanji does a vote:

Hanji: Okay, Prime, let's take a vote! Who here thinks that Airachnid deserves far worse?!

Autobots and Survey Corps raise their hands.

Optimus is annoyed, and Erwin pats his back in response. Insubordination. He gets it.

-But now there's a problem: the Decepticons are here, and they have no idea when they were going to make their next more or even if the Decepticons were aware of them. As the Walls, move to expand territory and locate the neutral ship, a few Survey Corps members see the ship of Marleyan survivors dock their shores.

(Holy shit, this is longer than what I usually write! And I definitely missed some shit, but whatever! Enjoy!)

[saysike-skedoodles]

---

ALL NEW TO CARTOON NETWORK, 'TOO MANY MISADVENTURES'. Join Bex, Silly and Stacy as they travel through different realms and get into many (mis)adventures along the way. From meeting spooky characters like Smiler to evil rulers like Queen Creampuff. There's so much to see for what these 3 get up to! Catch 'Too Many Misadventures' everyday on Cartoon Network from 7pm EST.

---

This is out of nowhere for TMM stuff, but here is the trio done up in a sorta "90s Cartoon Network" style! I put that in quotations since there wasn't an exact style present on Cartoon Network during this time. So I kind of went with a mix and match of some present traits and applied it to how the trio would look. My main 2 sources of inspiration/style references came from Dexter's Laboratory and The Powerpuff Girls. I wanted to look for styles that would fit with TMM if made as a show in the 90s. I think The Powerpuff Girls played a bigger role in influencing the trio's 90s look. Which I'm not complaining, I've been watching that show recently and it's TOO GOOD. I don't watch as much superhero like shows/movies (I've only seen The Suicide Squad (2021) ). They're just not up my alley and that's fine with me. But I've been LOVING The Powerpuff Girls. Am I using this post as an excuse to gush on about The Powerpuff Girls? Yes and I don't care HA. This show is great man, the animation, the action, the VOICE ACTING. THE VOICE ACTING OH MY DAYS IT'S TOO GOOD. The highlights to me are definitely Bubbles, Mojo Jojo, Him and the Narrator. But everyone does a fantastic job. ALSO TOM KENNY IS IN THIS SHOW???? He's one of my favourite voice actors so I was surprised to hear his voice in episodes. ANYWAYS YEAH, I also couldn't stop getting Bex, Silly and Stacy vibes from Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles, I think it's obvious who I saw as who. ANYWAYS. Yeah The Powerpuff Girls is a great show. I'm on about the 90s one- not the reboot. We don't talk about... that.

---

Also I wanna quickly thank @/TheNexusOnDA for the background and CN logo! He made a Cartoon Network Powerhouse package which included backgrounds, fonts and CN's logo. I don't usually like to use backgrounds since I'm trying my hand at getting better at drawing them anyways. But I just couldn't resist using this package to my advantage (hey, that kinda rhymed). Just to make things seem more authentic if ya get me.

---

Deviantart Tumblr Art Tumblr Youtube TMM Official Tumblr Newgrounds --- [all content I post is automatically 13+ if not stated in the title or the content itself]