friendscfmine

[friendscfmine]

CHALLENGERS (2024) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary.

who says i want somebody to be in love with me?

i don't want to fuck you to prove a point.

fuck me because you want to.

are you gonna do it or not?

tastes even better than it looks.

i just told you i missed you.

i really want to kiss you right now, but i'm worried that if i try, you'll think i'm the worst friend in the world.

you know, it hurts me sometimes how little you believe in yourself.

decimate that little bitch.

let's be honest, you gotta feel bad for the kid.

you're not a spring chicken anymore.

dude. he's a pancake. you're gonna flatten him.

how's this feeling?

we're ready for you.

so obviously this isn't the result you wanted today.

you choked.

i don't want you to embarrass yourself.

i'm just a little rusty. it's a confidence thing.

get your fucking confidence back. i can't do it for you.

i'm so sick of you using this as an excuse to have a fucking meltdown.

you said we could watch a movie.

you're evil.

i'm gonna quiz you on it tomorrow.

sir, i don't know who you are.

i don't think we have much more to talk about.

i haven't spoken to you in five years.

i was just taking a little nap.

move, or i'm calling the cops.

you were really something back then, huh?

we always talked about how amazing it would be to win this together.

i'm a crazy person.

any predictions about how that's going to go?

can you do me a favor? can you not, like... demolish me tomorrow?

shut the fuck up.

if it matters to you so much, i can just give it to you.

i need it to look like i really beat you.

don't guilt me with your dying grandmother.

she's the hottest woman i've ever seen.

you were... fucking incredible.

baby, we've got to get going.

i'm not going to that party.

are you that threatened by me?

we can't both just go in there, dicks swinging.

i'd let her fuck me with a racket.

hey, do you smoke?

of course they will remember you.

see, that's your problem. you think you're like an artist or something.

you just want to win because you love it when people tell you how talented you are.

are you on facebook?

i told you tennis was boring.

you just got this crazy look on your face.

are you on a date?

i don't kiss and tell.

why did you want to have dinner with me?

i think you might be the worst friend in the world.

i didn't know you were so concerned about my feelings.

of course you still have a thing for her.

we just had what i'm assuming is the best sex of our lives.

i fucked your brains out?

what do you think you need? a cheerleader? a fuck buddy? a girlfriend?

you're talented, you're charming, and you've got a big dick.

excuse me for inconveniencing you.

don't expect to sleep here tonight.

stop going easy on me.

i'll be whatever you need me to be. i'll fuck off if you want me to.

i need you here, actually.

you're referring to when i declared my love for you.

you're not in love with me anymore?

i've been dreaming about this for five years.

i'm gonna propose something to you, and it's gonna make you angry. it's gonna make you very angry. but you have to hear me out, okay?

i'm finally ready to listen to you.

how dare you fucking ask me that.

do you think it's cute what you're doing? do you think it's funny?

that's the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard.

i've always wanted you.

you didn't do anything to me. i did it all to myself.

i think i've reached the limit of my willingness to have this conversation with you.

do you understand how embarrassing it is that you're here?

you've never beaten me.

tell me it doesn't matter.

will you just hold me?

i'm not here to fuck you.

i miss watching you play. you were so beautiful.

[friendscfmine]

tell me about despair , yours , &. i will tell you mine . meanwhile the world goes on , meanwhile the sun &. the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes , over the prairies &. the deep trees , the mountains &. the rivers ( . . . ) whoever you are , no matter how lonely , the world offers itself to your imagination , calls to you like wild geese , harsh &. exciting ──── over &. over , announcing your place in the family of things .

⌗ MUDBLCCD is an original character based in 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑧𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 as created by jk rowling , will eventually include verses from other fandoms , conjured by river . 𓆗

[friendscfmine]

lord huron : long lost album … sentence starters 

“Mmm, I lied.”

“I ain’t lonely, are you?“

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“I ain’t lonely, I’m long lost.”

“Do you love me anymore?“

“Oh, where did the time go?”

“I’ve a tale or two to tell you.”

“There’s a secret to this town.”

“Don’t laugh, you’ll make me cry.”

“There’s a debt or two I owe you.”

“In my mind, you’re mine forever.”

“We’ll go wild and seize the night.”

“Come on and meet me in the city.”

“I ain’t never seen you look so sad.”

“All messed up, with nowhere to go.”

“I went looking and it drove me mad.”

“I made a life out of chasing a ghost.”

“If forever gets lonely, take my hand.”

“Taking it slow, but it all goes quickly.”

“You and me are gonna paint this town.”

“Everybody lies, but I’ll never doubt you.”

“I swear, this time around, I’m gonna stay.”

“Get your courage up and drink this down.”

“What does it mean if it all means nothing?“

“Try though I might, I was never a believer.”

“If you ever get lonely, please let me know.”

“Am I not the one you wanna love forever?“

“You look like hell and you smell like death.”

“Forget the life you had and don’t look back.”

“I can’t erase the day that I went and left you.”

“Oh, we really should have left here long ago.”

“So much to say, but my words mean nothing.”

“I dream most every night that I never left you.”

“Am I not the one you’re dreaming of, my angel?“

“The sky doesn’t care what my poor heart wants.”

“I’ve been lost before, and I’m lost again, I guess.”

“Get your courage up and take the highway down.”

“Send me to the mountains, let me go free forever.”

“I don’t want to lose you. I would change it if I could.”

“I’ve got a place in the world, and I found out where.”

“Gonna fly through my life ‘til  I crash into the ending.”

“I’m going way out where the world will never find me.”

“I told you I could never love somebody else, but I lied.”

“If you ever want to see my face again, I want to know.”

“It’s hard to make friends when you’re half in the grave.”

“I tried to change my ways and walk the line you follow.”

“If you never want to see my face again, I’ll understand.”

“I swore that I’d become a better man for you and I tried.”

“If our love is so wrong, tell me, why does it feel so right?“

“I told you I’d be coming back, again, for you, but I’m not.”

“I have travelled many miles, I don’t wanna walk no more.”

“Love me like you used to, and I’ll praise you like I should.”

“I got along for a while, I guess, but it took everything I had.”

“When I open up your door, will you know me from the rest?“

“Love me if you choose to, though you say that I’m no good.”

“Every road and every highway led me right back to your door.”

“I’ll be running through the forest, dancing in the fields like this.”

“Leave me where the light pours down through the trees like rain.”

“Lay me in the tall-grown grass in a shallow grave. Let it have me.”

“I might stay in my mind just for a couple of years, face all my fears.”

“Let it wash over me like a flood, let it ease my pain. Let it drown me.”

“Lord, I know I’ve made mistakes, but I am different now, I’ve changed.”

“I gotta find a way out of this mess. I’m in trouble and it sure looks bad.”

“You’re tired of me, I’m tired of you, so turn around and leave me to myself.”

“There’s a reason why I’m still living here, though I can’t think of it right now.”

“Wasting my days with my mind on the future, and my past like a chain that won’t ever let me go.”

“All of the joy I’ve known, the ways I’ve grown, the loves I’ve shown my heart to, I’m gonna get it together and live forever.”

[friendscfmine]

wtf is a situationship.. don’t ever put me in a situation

#Achillesinhighheels

[friendscfmine]

“Yeah, makes sense,” Stan says with a small smile.  If Kyle was concerned with keeping up with it, he would not have accepted the booze at all.  He does have a history of caving to peer pressure, but who doesn’t?  And Stan has noticed that Kyle has gotten better over the years, more mature, more ready to be his own person.  He has been helped by the fact that the Broflovskis are pretty lenient about it.  As far as Stan knows, they drink, too, especially Gerald.

He holds his hand out to take the cup, shaking his head in faux exasperation.  “If you don’t like it, you don’t like it.  There is no try, just do or do not, dude.  And it’s okay, really.  You don’t have to like it.  I can make you something else if you want, hopefully with the lid screwed tighter on the shaker this time, right?”  Honestly, Stan does not consider his tastes to be much more ‘refined.’  Just because he drinks more and enjoys making cocktails doesn’t mean he’s some kind of snob or anything.

“If you want in on a secret, they’re not my favorite, either.”  He slips the glass out of Kyle’s hand.  “I’ve just been learning how to make a bunch of stuff, and that recipe happened to come up.  They don’t punch you in the face quite as hard as some of the other shit I’ve tried to make.  There’s some of it that I can’t even drink.”

One thing he and Kyle share, though, is getting obstinate about the stupidest, most arbitrary things, and Stan has never actually failed to finish a cocktail.  “Well, it’s not that I can’t drink them at all,” he amends.  “I usually force myself to finish even the ones I don’t like.”  He almost jokes to say that it’s alcohol abuse to pour one down the sink, but he realizes that makes him sound a little too much like his own dad, so he shuts it up.

Stan wrinkles his nose when Kyle brings up the fact that his dad was even more into cheesing than Kenny was.  It was little wonder that all of their fathers got along.  “Ugh, yeah…  The whole town was on one over cat piss for a minute, but your dad and Kenny were definitely the worst of it.  Last I checked in on Kenny, he was doing a little better.”  Not entirely sober, but at least not completely strung out on cat urine of all things.  And Stan doesn’t really have a lot of room to judge him, anyway.  “I can’t speak to how your dad is, though.”

He swirls the last few drops around the glass, pondering over it.  “We all gotta get together again sometime, you know?  There’s been too much, ‘I caught up with so-and-so the other day, and here’s how he’s doing.’”

He waved his hand at the thought, "Don't worry about it. I barely keep up with the kosher style sometimes." And it wasn't something he wanted to try to uphold on days like this. Occasionally, he wanted an off day; sometimes, it would be once or twice a week. Though, he indulged in the moment, taking a couple of more sips to get a feeling of that warmth afterwards. Man ... he kind of missed these moments. Even if the gin made his face scrunch up tightly, he enjoyed the times like this.

That, and he was being a little sentimental. He enjoyed Stan's company whenever he came over. There were days where he just ... made it a little better.

Hearing his question, Kyle gave a soft nod. "I mean ... yeah, I'm definitely feeling it. It really kinda shows that I don't drink much. Like, ever. I'm trying to enjoy it, though, but I can't say I got that refined of tastes. It's sweet though."

He almost burst out laughing at the memory. He forgot about the cheesing incident, and now with mentioning it again, he recalled how ... fucked up it was. "Oh yeah, he was ... off the rails for cat piss. I don't think he enjoyed himself that much in years, dude. Like, he was in on it, but my dad, I'd argue, was ten times worse. He was just a heroin addict that whole time."

[friendscfmine]

tell me about despair , yours , &. i will tell you mine . meanwhile the world goes on , meanwhile the sun &. the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes , over the prairies &. the deep trees , the mountains &. the rivers ( . . . ) whoever you are , no matter how lonely , the world offers itself to your imagination , calls to you like wild geese , harsh &. exciting ──── over &. over , announcing your place in the family of things .

⌗ MUDBLCCD is an original character based in 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑧𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 as created by jk rowling , will eventually include verses from other fandoms , conjured by river . 𓆗

[friendscfmine]

Criminal Sentences, Vol. 24

(Sentences from various sources for criminals and/or dangerous muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"You never struck me as a man who yields to temptation. Where's your famous willpower?"

"If I untie you, do you promise not to do anything crazy?"

"We have a perfect situation for doing business, except for one thing - you don't trust me."

"Before you speak another word, I ask you to consider this: how valuable is your life?"

"Tell me what happened and start with whose blood you're wearing."

"Don't ask again or I'll kill you."

"What would you do for money? What would you be prepared to do?"

"What kind of a monster raised you?"

"Let me make it clear to you that you are in no position to dictate terms."

"Once you take a life, there's nothing like it."

"If you don't have a code in this job, then you have nothing."

"I knew you were too mean to die."

"I like you, but one thing you are not is a nice guy. Not even a little."

"I understand you have a reputation for obtaining information, no matter how difficult?"

"Another time, another place, if a man tried to kill me, I would've shot him or thrown him out of a window and forgotten he ever existed - but I'm older now, and mostly wiser."

"You did this? Had me arrested and dragged down here like a common criminal?"

"Everything in life is business, except for me and you."

"How do you know that name? I haven't used that name in years!"

"Tell me the truth; did you set me up to fail?"

"You think you're bold? You think you know sin? You're still learning the language. I wrote the bloody book!"

"Not to make it all about me, but what's in it for me?"

"Have you ever seen a man turned inside out?"

"Death can be a sublime experience."

"Speaking plainly, what's in it for me?"

"I'm not very nice. You haven't noticed that by now?"

"This is not even remotely my problem."

"In spite of your honest face, I'm beginning to like you."

"You're a lot of stupid things, but you're not a rat."

"Do you like frightening children?"

"I am, as you know, no stranger to killing."

"You're either really dumb, or you're trying to provoke me, which also makes you really dumb."

"You know this only works when its transactional, right?"

"Look at you! All cute and irrationally confident!"

"As you know, I've never been one to obey the rules."

"We've all heard the stories about what a tough guy you once were. I wonder, are they true stories?"

"I hope you bleed to death, and if you don't, I'll come for you."

"Every job in the world has a code. Whatever you do, there's a right way, and a wrong way."

"Do you find me unsettling?"

[friendscfmine]

paris paloma : cemeteries and socials album … sentence starters

“People are loved.”

“I needed someone.”

“I don’t think you did.”

“Let thеse ones sleep.”

“And death didn’t wait.”

“I needed some blood.”

“Was I always like this?“

“No one holds my hand.”

“I hear the laughing, still.”

“Did you hold me wrong?”

“I just had to renounce you.”

“He took so much from you.”

“In fact, I find it quite hopeful.”

“They could see it from below.”

“And they don’t seem to mind.”

“So crave something you hate.”

“It’s too late. I don’t understand.”

“You say you’re afraid of sleeping.”

“So come lay down in the soft ground.”

“You are cursed to see the best in him.”

“Oh, hon, stay here as long as you like.”

“And I promise you have nothing to fear.”

“No one holds my hand like she used to.”

“I’ll tell you what my grandfather told me.”

“I don’t want a part in this and I don’t care.”

“I don’t think I can love like anybody wants.”

“You’ve got еnough to get on with the living.”

“Has it come to an end? All of your love for me?”

“I’ll never forget when you said something wise.”

“All the men who said they loved me, but they lied.”

“What could have been, had you not turned to sin…”

“It’s not the dead that you’ve got to worry about, my dear.”

“Where do I spend my time? Among the dead, I’m a local.”

“You said you’d love me to death, but now that death’s come.”

“The only thing that holds me now, like she used to, is thе ground.”

“How you fell in love with your reflection in the water, I’ll never know.”

“There’s enough trouble above the earth, so don’t fret ‘bout what’s underneath.”

“I’m craving, just aching to be carried upstairs to bed, to be a child, to be looked after right, to be small enough to be cradled, again.”

[friendscfmine]

[friendscfmine]

Eurielle  {Sentence Starters}

“Save me, save me.”

“It’s a lonely place to be.”

“In my dreams, she is here.”

“I know he’s waiting for me.”

“I have seen. And I believe.”

“I soar every time you smile.”

“But, be not afraid, my child.”

“I am afraid the world is new.”

“But, I will try to find my way.”

“I’ve been waiting for so long…”

“While you sleep, dream of me.”

“I have offered all I have to give.”

“I have given everything for you.”

“I have held you for the last time.”

“Do you want me to say ‘please’?”

“Fly away from here, far from me.”

“I do not know what I must try to do.”

“Now the hunger grows too strong…”

“I hold on to what you promised me.”

“I’m scared of what’s inside my head.”

“I imagined myself with the perfect life.”

“Since the first time I saw you, I knew…”

“Fear is suffocating me. I can’t breathe.”

“The end is calling. Our time has come.”

“I feel like I’m running, but getting nowhere.”

“I had a dream of love and blissful happiness.”

“I’m running out of time… too late for me, I fear.”

“It is done. I have decided. No going back, now.”

“Hate me. Break me. Let me feel as hurt as you.”

“I come to you in sorrow and with a broken heart.”

“I wonder if you know how much you mean to me?”

“Moving forward at a pace that my rivals cannot face.”

“No length I wouldn’t go to, to give you my protection.”

“I have built myself a throne, and a kingdom of my own.”

“And all the while I watch you, amazed by your perfection.”

“I soar every time you smile… and worry whenever you cry.”

“Push me. Crush me. But, promise me you’ll never let us go.”

“If I could escape just by closing my eyes, I’d already be safe under different skies.”

[friendscfmine]

Honestly, Ned probably wouldn’t notice Odin’s eyes.  Jimbo certainly hasn’t, although he has not seen much of Odin, so it’s hard to say.

It’s a little disappointing about evolution; Jimbo really thought he had a checkmate there, but he supposes that makes sense.  “You mean they’ve been comin’ t’ Earth ‘n’ stealin’ our critters?” he gasps.

“Well, seein’ as everything depicts ‘em takin’ cows ‘n’ things, and we have been visited by a few even before you two got here, I shoulda figured as much.”  He shakes his head disapprovingly, regardless.  “Still can’t believe they’d take somethin’ like bunnies up there with ‘em, but considerin’ how fast them suckers c’n breed, they do make good food.  Now I’m just wonderin’ which one of ‘em it was…  Pro’ly the Visitors, knowin’ ‘em.”

In some cases, like with Odin, Ava does have a little more worldly experience than he does. He might be older than her, but he seems to have been largely contained to one planet, and rarely interacted with anyone but those who he saw every day. It didn't help that he seemed to view things in absolutes, whereas Ava was better at viewing them in the grey areas that life tended to be full of.

Right. Ned. Thankfully, yes, Odin was basically another human, so he would be much less terrifying to look at. Perhaps his eyes might still freak Ned out, but Ava thinks that so long as he doesn't focus on them too much it'll be okay.

"Well, yeah," Brows furrow as she looks up at Jimbo, a wry smile on her features a few moments later. "Jimbo, we had a lot of normal animals, it really just depends on where you are. Depends on the planet, on where people came from, but 'course I know what rabbits are. Some of the more specific animals I don't know a lot about, but woodland animals were pretty common to hear about." Most of them were not on her planet, though, saved for those with more affluence. "I don't think it disproves evolution, though, a lot of the animals I knew about were from other planets, and had just been brought over."

[friendscfmine]

the silt verses, pt. 5.

dialogue prompts from eskew productions' the silt verses.

you can't reason with a fanatic.

can it truly be an unkind thought, if it's honest?

if you were gonna shoot me, you could've done that already.

did you think i would be grateful?

there's no time to feel guilty about the things we cannot change.

you're making jabs, but you're not taking punches.

real courage only ever ends one way, right?

i want you there with your big ideas and your big heart.

you're safe, which is the important thing.

transparency: that's how a better world starts.

you know how i feel. you're probably sick of hearing about it.

there's not going to be any 'after', is there?

the rot creeps into everything.

do i sound ungrateful?

i have an entire litany of questions.

want to tell me how all of this happened?

i'm always ending up back where i started.

these days, i find myself lying all the time.

are you in the habit of holding grudges?

your accent sounds a little ______.

i am proud. you know i am.

if you didn't know, you should have known.

mothers are supposed to protect their daughters from the horrors of the world.

i remember very little of my life before.

i wanted to become something you could be proud of.

i could have changed for myself, but instead, i did it for you.

are you going to let me work?

i can still be useful.

stay right there. i won't be long.

focus on the words. tune out everything else.

we should have been safer here than anywhere.

you're meant to be resting.

this isn't a place for the living.

you're not as meek as you look.

you don't have an obligation to me.

i've got nowhere else to be. nowhere that matters.

you're someone i've held in my heart for a long time now.

a lot has happened to me since this.

i can tell there's something wrong.

your gaze keeps wandering to the doors and windows, like you're watching for something.

you keep muttering under your breath, but i don't think you're talking to yourself. are you?

you're just as tired as i am. just as frightened.

i'm not unstoppable. nobody is.

i'll try and live up to your example.

be careful. please. i think that's all i'm trying to say.

what's the opposite of a sacrifice? can't wait to hear your answer.

don't you dare reminisce.

you do like me, though?

you keep looking in the rearview mirror.

i have keys to everything.

to confess honestly is a rare opportunity.

you are a rotten thing.

i am not nothing.

i'm trying to decide if i've been here before.

nothing keeps its shape forever.

it's all just as it was.

go ahead and assume you're free to poke around.

only _____ calls me _____.

i think people should be kind to one another.

people aren't usually kind to me. they don't often like me.

i'm not much good at anything.

why do you insist on pitying yourself like that?

i didn't realize you were trying to be charming.

i don't want to play this game anymore.

i really don't know how you can be so chipper and confident all the time.

i just sound confident. it makes me feel in control. instead of adrift.

how would you even have heard about that?

i told you i wasn't brave.

you're not unkind. you care about people.

you were always braver than you realized.

hope is all we have.

[friendscfmine]

FRIENDS • S3E17 ↳ “The One Without the Ski Trip”

[friendscfmine]

no i’m not lonely yes i tear up when i see random families and friend groups in public. i do it on purpose. i do it for fun. ok

[friendscfmine]

▸   @smileduponyou   ⟶   ❛  "Were you spying on me?" - for Stan  ❜   ╱   (  general , accepting .  )

Stan takes a step forward, more into the light, his hands raised in a placating gesture.  “No, honest,” he says.  “Not intentionally, anyway…”  He hadn’t even recognized Gregory at first, and any reason he had to dislike or keep an eye on the guy died when he broke up with Wendy in high school.

“I was just walking by, thought I recognized you, might have stared a little too hard.”  He shrugs.  “…What are you doing?”

[friendscfmine]

▸   @fxntasmagoria   ⟶   ❛  the mistletoe is hung where you can see. (Mercedes to Michael :P)  ❜   ╱   (  popular christmas songs , accepting .  )

Michael looked up at the aforementioned plant and nodded, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his long coat.  “So it is,” he said, then glanced back at Mercedes to see the expectant expression on her face.  He wasn’t stupid, he knew what she was waiting on, but he had never been one for tradition.  It wasn’t that he didn’t want to kiss her or that he hadn’t thought about it before—it was just that he didn’t want to do it under the pretense of it being what he was supposed to do or whatever.

The corner of his mouth twitched up before he wrenched it back down into his usual artfully apathetic expression.  “But come on, do you really want to yield to something stupid like that?  I’d rather not have the first time be because of some old wive’s tale someone made up centuries ago because they were scandalously horny during Christmas time, would you?”

[friendscfmine]

50 random starters

-feel free to adjust to better fit your muse’s speech!

“Yeah, about that…”

“I, um… might have… had something to, uh… do with that…”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Oh, no. I know that look. I know what that look means. Absolutely not.”

“Can you stop being weird about it for five seconds?”

“Why is the plural of moose still moose? Why not meese?”

“I almost caught myself on fire…”

“Bite me.”

“Hey! Guess what!”

“There’s nothing to worry about, but I’d stay out of the kitchen for a while.”

“Big deal - I bet I could do that with [my hands/one hand tied behind my back/blindfolded/in x amount of time/backwards].”

“I might’ve befriended a mafia boss…”

“You know what I want right now? [Sender’s favorite food].”

“Touch that and I will hit you with a spoon.”

“Do I actually want to know or will I be better off not knowing? Because I feel like I’ll be better off not knowing.”

“Do you think snails have feelings?”

“Why is Christmas such a big deal? Is it because of capitalism?”

“Have you ever had a wish come true by throwing a coin into a fountain?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Check please!”

“Hey. What’s going on with you and [name]?”

“You know… I think I should… go.”

“Nope, sorry, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“Wait. Did I say left? Heh, I meant to say right.”

“Yeah, of course I speak another language! …It just might not come in handy unless we go to a Star Trek convention…”

“Look, I know I said I could handle a lot of things, but that is not one of them.”

“Well, we have six minutes until we need to leave! …Never mind, make that four minutes. Actually, we should just leave now.”

“…Want some smoothie?”

“I’ve never felt this way before…”

“I bet I could fight a swarm of bees.”

“Have you ever gotten a stuffed animal from a claw machine?”

“Uh… surprise?”

“Sure, I can do a magic trick. I’ll make that whole tub of ice-cream disappear in ten minutes.”

“Why is it the cake that’s a lie? Why isn’t it the pie?”

“What would you do if you had a million dollars right now?”

“No, no. When I said kids, I meant kids as in goat babies. Not human babies.”

“The only thing straight about me are my grades from [middle school].”

“Yeah, I’ve been to [place]. Once. It was… the worst.”

“Don’t be ridiculous - of course you need me. Who else is going to annoy you?”

“I miss you.”

“Look, I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, but… I had nowhere else to go.”

“What are you going off about?”

“Of course you’re my hero! How could you not be?”

“Would you rather have a pet shark or a pet whale?”

“Oh, yeah? Try me.”

“Oh, wow… You… you look absolutely stunning…”

“Hypothetically speaking… what if I got a [puppy/kitten]?”

“Come on, talk to me. What’s going on? Was it something I did?”

“I’ll pay you ten bucks to fight me.”

“Congratulations! You played both of us.”