#keep the website up. but i hate it.
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i also really don't like that principle 5: create a pattern to encourage users to keep returning to tumblr. taht's SKEEVY as Hell and i hate hate hate the way corporations will design internet platforms to specifically be addicting i Hate that.
#i didn't include this on the tags in the other reblog because if there's even a chance those tags can be taken as feedback i dont want it to#be dismissed off of 'unfounded concerns' or 'not understanding the goal of these changes'#i understand the goal i understand that increasing the userbase is to get Bigger Numbers to show Big Numbers to people who will pay money t#keep the website up. but i hate it.#i hate it#also btw i hate it#i really genuinely think that tumblr should try crowdfunding#i dont know if that's possible with whatever legal jurisdiction they're in but#then it might also give tumblr users a better idea of just how much this site costs to keep up#idk idk it's wishful thinking but >:C
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I'm in a reference class right now and I just get so irrationally angry about the requirements.
Like, obviously, the purpose of the class is to make sure all the theoretically-future (or sometimes current) librarians know how to actually look things up AND verify sources AND in a wide variety of subjects and topics. Yes, good, valuable, important.
BUT I hate it so much. I hate questions that sound like they came from an alien whose best human impression comes from old chatbots: "Who is Zora Neale Hurston? What is she known for? Does Sparkle Library have any of her books?" why are you asking the first two questions if you clearly know them enough to ask the third "What's this geologic feature I saw in town? What's its history? Where is it?" can I point you to Google Maps please "What is the meaning of the word fandom?" why am I required to find you four verified resources on a dictionary definition "Can you help me find articles about this topic" yes but our professor hasn't actually given us examples of how they'd 'verify' articles so IDK if this will work even though it's literally exactly how I'd do this in my actual library job where I provide reference services to college students.
#maybe it's that the prof wants things formatted in what feels like an unnatural way to me#like sorry if I cite Best Ref Websites 2003 to someone IRL I think that'd sound Dubious even if the site is still good 21 yrs later y'know?#I don't even know if I think there's a better way to teach this--I just hate the formality of it all#it feels so unnatural even though it's a valuable skill/knowledge#I'm currently signed up for the advanced reference class next and I think I'm gonna get my advisor to change my plan#because I will explode with another semester of this#library school#grad school#I am trying very hard not to assume I know things just because I already provide reference services#(especially since my job usually keeps to a fairly narrow type of reference)#but it's difficult when it feels like the alternative is 'Reference Provided by Exactly Zero Real Life People Ever'
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#and i SADDLE UP MY PONYTA AND I RIDE INTO THE SIT-TAY#I MAKE A LODDA NOISE CUZ THE GURLS THEY R SO PRETAY#RIDIN' UP N DOWN BROADWAY ON MY OLD STUD LEROY AND THE GIRLS SAY:#SAVE A RAPIDASH RIDE A MEOWBOY!!!#JOHN WAYNE AINT GOT NUTHIN ON MY FRINGE GAME HELL NO!!!!#well stranger don't ya know i'd like to be yer friend... IF I HAD THE TIME TO STAAAAAAY.#BUT I'M A BRAMBLIN A BLOWIN IN THE WIND. I'VE GOT TO CATCH ANOTHER STAAAAAAAAGE.#I STRAP ON MY GUITAR JUST LIKE A FORTY FIVE. I PRAY EACH NIGHT MY AIM IS TRUUUUEEEE#and ACQUAINTANCES TURN TO FRIENDS I HOPE THOSE FRIENDS THEY REMEMBER ME#HOLD THE NIGHT FOR RANSOM AS WE KIDNAP THE MEMORIES#NOT SURE THERES A WAY TO EXPRESS WHAT U MEANT TO ME#SOMETIMES I GET TO THINKIN BOUT SETTLIN' DOWN. FADE OFF INTO A MEMORY.#BUT EVERY NIGHT THAT I STEP OUT TO FACE THE CROWD?#I KNOW THIS IS THE LIFE FOR MEEEEEEE#pokemon#meowth#ok context. to whomever it may concern. which is no one but idc i have a lot to say and no one to say it to#first off heres my like bi-annual post bc i 1. only draw f*rdekyl* and fucking detest f*re *emblem fans with a burning passion#so i hate sharing my 'art' . so heres a rare non-fk thing. bc i also hate social media as a whole it makes me sue of side all#but like 2. i have deliberately avoided scar/vio bc its a BAD GAME. and its not made well. also i know 'open world' formats#trigger my ocd. which it did exactly. but thats mostly irrelevant. but in anycase. i bit the bullet bc i was in a pkmn mood#esp after my long beloved n*te and dook*ie gave me a hankering for a pkmn game again#and my lil bro accidentally bought 2 copies years ago so i was like fck it ill give it a shot its Free#and yes the game is dogshit. however. everytime i see a meowth in the wild i lose my mind.#his jaunty little yee-haw walk kills me every time. i adore him. thus this was inspired.#alright imma head out i fucking hate this website as well as every other social media . maybe ill draw something non-fk in like a year#see ya in like a year maybe if i live that long. which i wouldnt count on bc tbh this year has been BAD in terms of my pain. im on the#EXTREME decline and can BARELY draw anymore. i want to die. i got nothin left. it just keeps getting worse so adios!#:(
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I hate when I see a post that maybe has helpful information, but it’s so full of guilt tripping, calling people who don’t know the information stupid, and calling people who haven’t been talking about that particular problem stupid, that I don’t feel comfortable sharing it.
#sharing information on what to do about the environment? GOOD. yes. please do that#implying the website full of people who spent yesterday begging each other not to commit suicide is selfish and hates the earth? fuck you#obviously I’m not gonna say this on the actual post and if you know what post I’m vagueing don’t fucking talk to them about it#the op of that post doesn’t need my grumpiness#but just like. Idk a lot of people were busy worrying about immediate survival yesterday#like ‘live through the next 48 hours’ level immediate#today is when I’ve seen more informational stuff going around on surviving the next 2-4 years#so acting like people are too selfish to care about the planet when they haven’t talked about climate change (yet) is just baffling to me#like. sorry I didn’t bring up stuff I was too busy worrying I was gonna lose some friends to a permanent sleep#and like. trying to keep myself from spiraling down similar paths#so I didn’t have the brain capacity to go ‘wow. I need to come up with concrete actions to help the environment’#and I definitely didn’t have the capacity to go ‘wow I need to write about my thoughts on climate change in a coherent tumblr post’#I had the capacity for 1) keeping myself too busy to think about death and 2) keeping a couple other people too busy to think about death#and I succeeded! at least for now. and that’s something
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suppressing loads of #Exhibitionism as of late
#NOT THE NAKED KIND O_O but yes. as in intentional displays of behaviors that make people look down on me Now that is my actual heroin#been away from this blog because i kind of hate it on the Lowest of Downs but not at the same time#i was not actually away from the website itself i could never i got major ♯FOMO no way am i not keeping up with my mutuals
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being just Slightly 'more' autistic than the average tumblr user is fucking hard actually
#i constantly feel like i'm sitting Just outside the circle of understanding in any situation i'm in#and on tumblr it's easier bc most of us are autistic#but everyone seems to be pretty 'high functioning' too#to the point everyone has an expectation of understanding amongst their followers and mutuals even when they maybe shouldn't#so the fact i don't understand things everyone else does#or don't understand certain etiquettes that everyone else does makes being on this website (or anywhere in the world) super fucking hard#this is also why i don't talk to people very often; i'm either rejected and not responded to outright or i will be eventually#bc i'll say something stupid that i don't realize is not polite to say bc in other places it's fine to say or something similar#i don't try to be this way (not understanding the boundaries of others)...it just happens and idk how to improve upon it#i feel like i'm already doing my very best in that regard#but it's obviously still not good enough bc i keep fucking up#(also i hate the terms 'high functioning' and 'more autistic' which is why they're in quotations#bc i just didn't have a better term to use that equally got my point across)#txt
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just went through my followers and did the purge i said i was going to do. i've updated my masterpost with a PSA at the bottom
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It's a travesty that I can't reblog gifsets of books.
#this post is about#the invisible life of addie larue#I am lost in this book#and when I was lost in The Acolyte#there were gifs and photosets and actor interviews#but no such luck for the books I love#well#except for the folk of the air series#there are some real gems in the fota tags#but most of the fanart for this book is so focused on the wrong part?#Which to be fair was also a problem with The Acolyte#like I understand this is the 'inhuman villain x human hero' website#so i don't know what else I expected anybody to take away from this book#certainly not the moral and emotional complexity of the characters or the situations they're put in#or the way it follows through on the implications of its premise#or the philosophical questions it begs you to ask#or the existential pit it draws you to look into#or the sheer bloody-minded downright spiteful amount of hope it provides#it's almost a parable#the girl that smiled into the darkness and the darkness that smiled back#the woman who is so stubbornly determined to live that death itself can't help but love her even as she hates it#the woman who valued her life so much she gave up everything to keep it#and the man who loved her so well that she gave it up all over again to save him#to have complete freedom with no one to share#the heaven and the hell of it#God#this book has ruined me#i can't remember the last time I felt so haunted by a story#I added some of the author's other works to my library app#but tbh
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AAAAA MY TUMBLR KEEPS BREAKINGGGGG
LIKE WHY IS IT IN PLAIN TEXT??
#Literally I have tried everything from restarting my phone to clearing my tabs#I don’t even know what to do anymore!#This has been happening for FOUR FREAKING DAYS#I can’t post I can only reblog#It keeps crashing safari#What is HAPPENINGGGGGG#The only reason I can post right now is because i’m on my ipad#And it’s ONLY TUMBLR and ONLY MEE#And I’ve looked at tumblr support and nobody else is having this issue#Also the website has been crashing for 50% of the time#I can’t check my activity or anything with the navigation panel#Can someone please help#I can’t even shut up about this one it’s that bad#I hate it so much
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i still cannot take that one anime elf serious because her name is Being Cold.
#this is completely irrelevant whatsoever but i keep seeing her name pop up and every time im like#? whos cold. why are they cold. then i remember#anyway if people think im going to make accounts on other websites when i hate signing up for shit theyre mistaken#this is in fact the more prevalent thought. i dont know what the fuck a blue sky is and i dont want to know. not interested.#ive been in sinking webbed site(tm) ships for years. literally whatever at this point.
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do you sell your art?
Yes!
If you send me a private message or an e-mail: [email protected]
Prints are $15 with shipping included
#i don't actually sell a lot#i don't actually promote it a lot#i used to have etsy but it was too much work to keep everything posted up there#idk was it etsy?#something like that#it cost me more than it made me#i'm looking into making a website with like an online shopping option#but#i hate the website building process so far
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Just applied for a summer childcare position (like for a camp type thing) that pays 20–28 dollars an hour based on qualifications (I should be towards the end of that scale because I work in a school; and the only requirement the job lists is to be 16 and have experience with children). So hopefully they’ll consider me. That would be wonderful.
#I hate applying for jobs so much. Everyone uses a different website that makes you sign up for newsletters that clog your email#that you have to manually unsubscribe to#But yeah that’s way more than I get paid as a para lol#which is kind of sad because being a para or teacher is a lot more strenuous and complex than supervising kids during structured play#Because usually the kids enjoy stuff like rock climbing and swimming#so you don’t have to guide them through ten different layers of mental gymnastics to complete their work#or sometimes physically keep them from leaving the learning area after every problem they complete#(of course I do the last thing very gently; and I don’t like having to carry kids from under tables back to their seats#but they’re not going to learn anything if they stay underneath tables all day long… that kind of defeats the purpose of being in school.#I give a lot of verbal warnings before too. Some kids just refuse to learn all the time regardless of their mood because it’s funny to them#Anyway: Kids should not be playing video games past bedtime on a fucking Oculus Rift#Like seriously the tech withdrawal in some of these babies is palpable#Horrifying#Anyway this summer job will be a breeze if I get it#Hopefully no one will be begging me for chromebooks during rock climbing#(I know it sounds like I’m irritated with the kids; and I am. But it’s more irritation with their parents letting them become addicted#to iPads for the sake of convenience; and also frustration directed at capitalism that makes the parents so tired#that they let the iPad babysit their kids so they can rest. It’s the whole system man. It’s fucked.)
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from the website owner who bans you if you link to his blog
"We have a contractual obligation to try to make Live as successful as possible through the end of the year"???!!!!???!? (emphasis mine)
contractual with who???!!!?!?!
#explains why they were pushing it so hard but geez#that fucking glowing live button is what made me ditch the app#i haven't looked at a tumblr ad (ie given them ad views and money) since august#what kind of contract makes you try to hype up a feature everyone hates#who made this for them#what the fuck tumblr#since nobody else was talking about holding photomatt accountable i went to check his blog myself and sure enough it's all kissass#''thank you for making tumblr the best it's ever been'' LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF#and ''ooooo ai will fix everything! ai will make tumblr better! ai will let you migrate your blog to wordpress! i suck openAI sloppy!''#and ''boo hoo people told me i run the site like shit that makes me feel bad''#sorry asshole i have no patience for people who ban users for saying ''here give the website owner ur honest feedback on his website''#'and ''boo hoo nobody is paying us for ad free and blaze and checkmarks and crabs''#and all the while hiding posts about sfw transgender topics and empty reblogs and photos of a fish in an mri machine for 'tos violations'#yeah gee i wonder why nobody wants to fucking give you their money#just about the only reassuring thing he mentioned was beefing up the trust & safety team but again#if they keep banning posts about being trans etc. then this is not very reassuring after all#rip tumblr
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whyyyyyyy do I associate my hair so closely with my gender presentation, brain please just let me cut it ffs
#I’ve wanted beautiful long hair all my life except it’s never looked like I wanted it to#it’s thinning at the top and keeping it long isn’t helping#I don’t do anything with it it’s just hanging there#and I’ll look up shorter hairstyles and spend hours looking up queer hair salons#and trying to muster the courage to just make the damn appointment#and then later I’ll chicken out and want to keep it long because it’s so ingrained in me that it’s more feminine#and fuck knows I don’t look or feel feminine enough even on a good day#also hate how every time I see ’we love gender affirming cuts’ on a salon’s website#but all their customer photos are either buzzcuts or that one lesbian ‘shag’ look and nothing else#those are great but I don’t want either of those#can’t gender affirming cuts be for longer styles too please#uuuugh#this is so stupid I so absurdly sensitive about my hair
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need an appointment to redo my thing but they don’t have any available for April
#pedro pascal laugh crying.gif#I hate it ehre and work is making it really hard for me to take time off to do this but I also cannot afford to use all my time off to#try my luck with a walk in too#I am just going to keep checking the silly website and pray that something opens up
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tumblr just really trying to force us all off this website eh
#opened desktop tumblr for the first time in quite a while and seen the no icons update#i hate it#and my main blog updated to the dumbass twitter clone version#i already feel like i don't want to really use my main anymore after everything with my sister and just hang out here#but if tumblr is just going to keep making their website terrible i don't know what i'm willing to put up with in general anymore#kee speaks
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