#kbs live your own life

[kalena-henden]

[dramadaisies]

not hyosim saying that she likes taeho because she has daddy issues

[thecoffeelorian]

Anomaly (Jod Na X Reader)

A/N: I typed this out in the span of a morning on my phone, and then worked my way up from there. Anyways, to business...

Title: Anomaly

Chapter Title: The Stowaway

Genre: Drama/Romance

Word Count: 1,077 words

AO3: Click Here!

Special Notes: I have zero idea if Jod is going to be either the pirate I think he is or the ex-Jedi that others believe him to be...however, if none of these turn out to be true, then I'll just mark this as an AU and keep on trucking along. 'Nuff said!

No Pressure Tags: @ladysongmaster @braveincafleet @ireadwithmyears and anyone else who might want to catch the first-ever Jod Na x Reader story in this fandom! Thank you for your consideration!

ANOMALY

This doesn’t feel like the Great Work to me, you think to yourself, glancing around in silence as the Reclamation Committee gathers at At Attin’s first, and probably last, official spaceport. Originally, you would be deep into your latest pile of holo-work in the Undersecretary’s office, a half-drank cup of caf on your right and the few images of your surviving relatives sitting still upon your left.

Thanks to the curiosity of a handful of local children, however…everyone’s daily routine, yours included, has since been upended be it for better or for worse. In fact, the tension’s visible on everyone’s face as they await the incoming ship, and most likely for good reason—the ones said to be on board, at least in theory, are going to have a lot of explaining to do.

As for you, you’ve got both eyes upon your datapad screen like the good little Intern you are, making as many mental notes as possible while you wait. So far, according to the reports—or, at least, the official documents that you had been granted access to—all four of the missing children had been found safe; they had then been directed onto a secure flight back home; and, once the growing blur of that same flight could be seen from the platform and the volume of all human conversation around you grew alongside it, they would certainly be participating in a very long debriefing once those docking bay doors finally opened.

And yet...everything that you hadn’t been informed about becomes, as soon as the one known as Neel is the first to step off, pretty sparkling clear once the security droids all aim their weapons at the back of the ship.

“No, wait! Don’t hurt him, he’s a friend!”

To your surprise, if not also the surprise of everyone else around you, there was a fifth person on board. This person must have been halfway decent enough to keep this little group under their watchful eye, for the remaining kids still on the ship—Fern, Wim, and KB respectively—all add their voices to Neel’s protest as they’re coaxed onto the platform, Wim going so far as to try and pull the blaster out of a droid’s hands before a short pop of static electricity teaches him differently.

And, once those same droids give the order for them to come out with their hands up…your first sight of that fifth person all but takes your breath away.

Oh. Dear. Me.

Yes, there’s a man hiding back there, not some Wookiee in a fit of rage…but he’s not just any man as the ones among you already have been. No, this one has the equal look of both predator and prey written into his body language, for the look he gives the security team is nearly an even mix of one about to shoot down several live targets and one about to run for cover, almost like he's known both such situations in the course of his life...but isn't about to breathe a word of it.

To your growing sense of alarm, he’s also far too damned attractive for his own good, let alone yours. Sure, there are the signs of middle age upon him, why would there not be—and yet, other than the visible age lines upon his face, the stiffness in his steps, and the traces of silver within his hair, you just couldn’t stop yourself from running a visual scan of everything else he’d brought down to the surface. Things like...the hard set of his shoulders, the sharp outline of his jaw, and—worst of all—those startling blue eyes that you swore saw everything ahead, behind, and every other direction around him in a matter of seconds. Eyes that could see right through you if you’re foolish enough to let them, though you can only hope you never fall for any piece of this stranger’s charm, direct or otherwise.

And if that alone hadn’t somehow warned you in advance not to look too long, not to examine him too closely, and above all else, not to allow yourself to care too much about what might happen to this mysterious stranger…the reaction of the head droid would finally drive it all home.

”Jod Na Nawood, also known as ‘Crimson Jack’, also known as 'Captain Silvo', in the name of the Republic, you are hereby under arrest…”

Crimson Jack…? Captain Silvo? Him?! That one was the 'Thief Of A Thousand Treasures'?

You’d heard of a few stories about that scary figure, but that was all they were supposed to be. Stories. Legends. Tales one told to their children in order to get them to behave at the dinner table, and not real people of flesh, blood, and bone, because there were supposed to be no such thing.

Especially not away from the pages of a holobook, let alone outside of any datapad video feeds.

And yet…as this infamous Crimson Jack finally allowed the binders to be snapped around his wrists, one sad look sent towards the children before being taken into custody, it was here that you had to start asking yourself whether or not some of these stories were, in truth, full of facts as solid as durasteel—and if so, whether this stranger was truly as dangerous as the stories whispered in the dark made him out to be.

It would also be about a few seconds later that those startling blue eyes would just happen to meet yours, an even stranger feeling of both warmth and cool air pass between you like the rush of a long-dormant hyperdrive slowly working itself back up to full power and, finally, a phantom set of words echoing within your mind just as surely as if he had spoken them aloud.

I see you.

Several minutes would pass by until you snapped yourself out of your stunned silence and came back to reality, a few familiar faces around you making sure you were all right, that no tricks or funny business or strange arcane rituals had taken your mind over where you stood—and yet, for all of that, there was only one thought left in you, only one question that made sense—and so, even though this man was no longer in your sight, still you asked it out loud for everyone else to hear.

“And if I were to get inside your head, Mister ‘Crimson Jack’...what would I see?”

[lazyyogi]

Hii, I wanted to ask how to actually have the patience to meditate because I don't have any. One benefit of meditation IS patience, but it is also a skill that requires patience. Whenever I meditate I can only think of how boring it is and how I just want to finish it. Eventually I just give up. I can't even meditate for 2 minutes. It's way too hard for me. How can I improve? Thank you in advance 🤍

This is like asking how do you have the strength to lift weights. Yes, it does take some measure of strength to lift anything at all. But it is by lifting weights, enduring the discomfort, and continuing to do so over time that you develop more strength.

That said, developing the motivation to practice meditation can be helpful.

If we approach meditation casually, it can be difficult to focus. We may feel like we can just do this later when we have more time and feel less bored. Or maybe we think meditation just doesn't work for us.

There are certain thoughts that are helpful to examine regarding meditation practice:

Precious Opportunity. Although it may seem like a simple activity, I would argue that meditation represents the pinnacle of biologic evolution at this time. Meditation is an activity that can really only be undertaken when all of your biologic needs are met: you are physically safe, you have had enough rest to be wakeful, you are not too hungry nor too full. Furthermore, you are not subjecting yourself to the endless array of activity that involves seeking pleasure and avoiding displeasure. And lastly, you are turning consciousness upon itself to reveal the reality of self-existence, or awareness. These are an unusual combination of causes and circumstances to allow us the simple action of meditation. Meditation truly is a unique practice of immense biologic privilege, and it is backed by an ever-growing body of evidence.

The impermanence of life. We may feel as if we have time to meditate later, or meditate another day. But the truth is that we are mortal, we will die, and we do not know when we will die. This is very important for two reasons. The first reason is that by contemplating and accepting the fact of our inevitable death (not just in our heads but in our hearts and guts), we will quickly find things clarified. We will lose interest in that which is meaningless, and we will search for that which is meaningful. The intensity of that search is related to the intensity with which we feel our mortality. The second reason is that by appreciating the uncertainty regarding our time of death, we will not delay our practice for another day. Today is what matters most; we cannot presume to rely upon tomorrow.

Meditation works! Even just a casual googling of the various evidence-based studies regarding meditation's effect on the brain and body will yield a fascinating plethora of findings. Meditation alters the structure of your brain in just 8 weeks of daily practice. Meditation alters the expression of your DNA starting from the very first day of your sitting; it downregulates NF-KB, which is an important player in the cascade of inflammation in the body. Meditation changes our perception of pain such that it causes us less distress. Meditation increases our capacity for compassion. The list goes on.

Don't just read all of this and absorb it in the form of intellectual knowledge. See the lines of contemplation I am pointing toward and contemplate them for yourself. Until these thoughts become your own lived understandings, they are all lies.

When it comes to meditation, there are a few important things to keep in mind:

It must be a daily practice. Choose an activity you may pair it with, such as meditation before you brush your teeth every time. Don't ask yourself if you feel like meditating, just do it.

Set a timer and do not get up until the timer has gone off. Even if you are bored out of your mind, no matter how chaotic your feelings may be, just sit through it. This is like the burn of exercising. Eventually, however, it does change and go away. And that alone will change your life.

Scale your practice as needed. While its good to work your way up to longer sittings such as 30 minutes or 60 minutes, it is better to sit for 5 minutes every day than to sit for 30 minutes now and then.

Lastly, reading spiritual books are also helpful in giving us the motivation to practice. There are so many out there, you just need to find one that speaks to you.

Much love, I hope this helps.

LY

[ancientcraftnoccultism]

Beginner Class - Moon Phases

Introduction to Moon Phases & Lunar Magic

___

By KB

Introduction

Welcome back to class everyone! Today we're going to have a small introduction to lunar magic & discuss the Moon phases! The Moon has been significant in myths and customs all around the world from the beginnings of human civilization. It has been used as a light source and a chronometer for ages. Similar to the Sun, it has been associated with a variety of deities all throughout the world. This heavenly body has always been connected to many fundamental aspects of human existence, including love, passion, fertility, mystery, death and rebirth, and the afterlife, in both myth and magic. The Moon continues to play a significant role in Wicca and other contemporary Witchcraft and Paganism practices.

Briefing of the Moon

The Earth has its own energy, which is separate from the energy it receives from the Sun, according to scientists. The Moon also gives off a faint yet distinct energy. The energy of the moon is feminine and receptive as opposed to the masculine, projective energy of the Sun. Anyone who has experienced the Moon's physical pull can understand why its power is frequently described as magnetic. At the Full or New Moon, some people who are especially sensitive really experience a physical tug in their bodies, while others merely have a heightened awareness of everything around them.

The feminine, receptive, and magnetic energy of our own intuition is perfectly suited to engage with lunar energy. This is the most important mode of perception when it comes to magic, often known as our sixth sense. Therefore, when we intentionally connect with Moon energy, we are creating a channel for that energy to help bring about the necessary changes in our life. And we can actually increase the power of our magical activity when we do this in conscious sync with the energetic rhythms of the Moon's cycle. This is so because each moon phase offers unique energies that can be tapped into for special magical purposes.

Working With The Moon

Moon magic is the practice of enhancing spellcraft by utilizing the power of the moon and its cycles. You undoubtedly already know that spellwork and rituals are frequently performed during the full moon by magical practitioners. It's simple to use the moon for your intended purpose because it is at the peak of its metaphysical potency. However, depending on the kind of spell work you wish to conduct, all phases of the moon offer strategic advantages.

Lunar magic is a type of sympathetic magic in which practitioners align their spells and witchcraft with the moon's cyclical phases. Lunar magic users interpret the moon's changing phases as having characteristics that are helpful for various purposes, sorts of spells, or rituals. Each phase, from waxing to waning, has a magical correlation that guides a witch's work. The connections come from humanity's long history of using the moon as a calendar, navigational aid, and fertility symbol. The moon has traditionally been associated with masculinity by many civilizations, but in the modern West, the moon is frequently associated with femininity and is connected to women, fertility, and feminine cycles.

Now, all of this may seem historically complex and even scientifically oriented (and it certainly can be! ), but working with the moon is a flexible sort of witchcraft that allows for "choose your own adventure" thinking. It can be as intricate and challenging as you wish, or it might just be about interacting with the natural rhythms' exquisite beauty. You can focus all of your magick on lunar living or you can just perform a ritual for the new or full moon whenever it is convenient for you. Don't be afraid; the moon is not erratic and is always present. Simply get in and give it a go however seems appropriate to you.

Moon Phases

Witchcraft practitioners frequently use the moon's phases and their corresponding rituals to give their spells and rituals a little extra strength or to just serve as a reminder to focus on different things throughout the month. Although I'm here to offer inspiration and suggestions for how to use the moon in your magical life, how you work with it is distinctly particular to you, so this post isn't the be-all and end-all of lunar magic.

Here are the fundamentals. In witchcraft, we frequently add a ninth phase before the new moon, which scientists would regard as the same. However, there are eight moon phases every month according to science. The lunar cycle begins with the dark/new moon, increases or waxes until it reaches the full moon, then shrinks or wane until it reaches the dark moon, when the cycle resumes.

9 Moon Phases

Dark Moon

New Moon

Waxing Crescent

First Quarter

Waxing Gibbous

Full Moon

Waning Gibbous

Last Quarter

Waning Crescent

The intents, spells, and rituals associated with each of these stages include banishing, abundance, shadow work, manifesting, times of release, and times that attract things toward you. It is claimed that aligning your magical activities with the moon's phases can help you tap into their energy and encourage the results you want.

Dark Moon

The moment has come for destructive magic. Not necessarily "harmful," but now would be the ideal moment to cast a curse or hex. The optimum time to perform magical work to eliminate or banish strong spirits, addictions, or illnesses is during the Dark Moon. Do not waste this opportunity. It is advisable to use this time for something that presents a real threat. Also a fantastic time for divination and soul-searching. The black moon phase is all about the unconscious mind and is most frequently employed as a period for dream work, ancestral remembrance, and divination. Take advantage of this stage to really explore your inner thoughts. Turn inward, meditate, and consider your course of action. Simmer your soul in a hot ritual bath, or have a deep-tissue massage to release accumulated trauma.

New Moon

Moon mapping practitioners assert that the new Moon is a good time to reflect on significant issues or make broad plans for the next lunar cycle and beyond. The new Moon is focused on concepts of attraction and invitation. As a result, the majority of new Moon rites focus on sowing seeds for the future, which makes sense given what's going on in the heavens.

Waxing Crescent

The waxing moon looks to be expanding. This period's magnetic energy aids in bringing things out. The optimum time to work with beneficial magic is during this full waxing phase. This is the ideal moment if you want to develop a more optimistic outlook or greater patience. This is the moment to cast spells for self-improvement, such as enhancing psychic talents or learning information about a new class.

First Quarter

The First Quarter Moon is all about appeal from the outside world, whereas the New Moon is all about going within and bringing out. It is the best moment to do any type of magic that involves luring something in—whether it's a person, success, money, or anything else. Additionally, now is a great opportunity to return lost items.

Waxing Gibbous

The Waxing Gibbous Moon's energies, which are still in the 'constructive' magic phase, are excellent for giving anything you've been working on that may have stalled that extra push. Use these energies to give you a boost and help you resist temptations if you are having trouble staying motivated to complete a task or maintain a routine.

Full Moon

The Full Moon phase is the most potent of the cycle, making it the best time to deal with any pressing problems or difficulties you may be experiencing. Concentrate your rituals and spells on issues that are most crucial to your life. Additionally, this is a perfect time for magic and meditations centered on psychic growth, spirituality, and divination. The Full Moon is the time you would use for increased power when you are confronting really challenging problems, even more so than the Dark Moon. Full Moon magic is designated for those significant aspects of your life that require significant changes or boosts; it is not only for small jobs. It is best to focus on priorities during this period.

Waning Gibbous

Working on spells to banish is an excellent idea at this time because waning energies repel rather than attract. During the fading phases, minor banishings can be carried out. The ideal time to clean everything in general, including your house, yard, office, personal items, magical instruments, etc. It is best to end everything during the Waning Gibbous period, whether it be a commercial endeavor or a romance. Self-reflection is also an excellent thing to do at this time. Think on your past and inwardly rather of focusing on the future. Perform spells and rituals during this phase that are intended to perform minor banishings and cleansings. Now is a great moment to reflect and identify anything that is no longer in line with your goals.

Last Quarter

This is the ideal time to go through any challenges you've had to face while working toward your objectives. Use charms to help you overcome obstacles that might encourage you to give up. The same is true for whatever transitions you may be going through; take advantage of these energy to iron out any kinks and make the procedure move more smoothly.

Waning Crescent

The energies are more suited for larger banishings, including getting rid of anything that has been depleting your energy and stealing your joy. Work with the energy of this time to eliminate anything from your life that you wish to just get rid of. Focus your spells and rituals on the intentional dumping of anything that you no longer desire, whether it be quitting a fruitless project or ending a damaging acquaintance or relationship.

[joyswonderland1108]

Seek help.

Please read this as i'm trying to spread awareness. Before you continue, if this landed randomly on your page, i'm a Jikook blog, you do not have to follow me or disregard this post simply because of that as my goal here is to speak up for Jungkook.

Now back to all of you who know me already, it is nothing new to you that i complained many times before about Tiktok Army. Today however for some reason i'm at my breaking point.

When i tell you that Jungkook is but a sexual fantasy to a lot of "Army" i'm not even joking. This image they're trying to give to Jungkook as him being a fuckboy, a player, yada yada, is getting out of hand. The boy is doing his best to get out of that "baby" image many stick to him but that also doesn't mean it gives you the right to objectify him, some people here are forgetting that objectifying doesn't only happen with women so let that be a reminder to you that it can happen to anyone.

Yes Jungkook is exploring different genre, exploring mature concepts but this does not mean that you can use him for your own sexual fantasies, or make comments about him making him sound/look like a pervert.

It's already bad enough that hater made up a rumor about him that many dumbasses believed without checking how they were trending that Jungkook was a SA'er and now "Army" making comments that aren't helping this sick agenda either.

In KBS the photocards that were gifted to those who attended had "Our Army whom i want to see in 3D" written at the back of it, it should be cute considering how much Jungkook would remind us that he really appreciates Army and is so thankful towards them. The expression simply meant that he wants to see Army in real life, but going ahead and linking it to the meaning of the song.. I don't know if people are aware of the shit they are insinuating with that.

And if you still don't know let me spell it out for you: You are insinuating that Jungkook is asking random people to see them in compromising positions, see them sexually, the people aka the fans. A gentle reminder that some idols had scandals when it comes to ACTUALLY indulging in sexual acts with fans or sexual remarks towards fans that made them uncomfortable. So you over here mindlessly making comments about Jungkook that might be taken so wrongly by people is insane.

Be mindful of what you say, i feel like whatever Jungkook decides to do many people here makes him regret his decision. He decided to share snippets of him at the gym, did a live there: Stalked. He decided to do lives from home: Stalked. He decided to try to interact more with Army's comments: Disrespectful comments. He decided to explore mature concepts for his solos: Overly sexualized and objectified.

There's a difference between being open minded about sex and sexy concepts and actually only seeing a person as that, making it their whole personality. Need i remind you that Jungkook is an artist too? Before you forget that he's just your sexual fantasy, your out of a manhwa wet dream, he is also a singer, an artist, a performer, someone who works hard not for you to only see his dick.

And it's funny to me because these same people would call you close-minded simply for seeing him as a human, you know, something he himself have said before that he too is a human. These same people would call you immature for actually seeing more than just "sex" in him, these same people would call you a kid or a grandma for not making sick comments about him.

All that and they still do not realize that being mature is being completely okay with the fact that Jungkook is a grown ass man and isn't the virgin weeb many can't help but think he is, that he is an adult who knows what sex is and can sing about it if that's what he wants to, that he is capable of choosing the mature concept without making him a player.

I feel like more than other members Jungkook is always the target of so many fucked up things, whether it's rumors, or stalking, or nasty comments, or or or. I've talked previously about how i was surprised during TMA seeing how many people didn't even bother with Jungkook from the beginning, and i'll say it again i thought that i'll have a hard time with both my biases i thought that it'll be a tough competition and i'll be left there not knowing which direction to take just for me to realize that many people never even bothered to vote for him to begin with.

Many people would rather read fictions about him, very sick fictions actually, would rather make Y/N povs on tiktok, make edits about him that would gather some very nasty comments than actually properly support him.

Many people don't even want to support him on what HE himself literally said, spelled out from his own mouth. Many people want to make decisions for him and would fight people who truly care for him and defend him and what he said because apparently to these people what Jungkook said himself is not good enough so they feel the entitlement to decide for him all while telling those who care to "Not decide for him" Ah.. The irony.

Because one more reminder, i will not let you forget that some people are up until this day, still negotiating Jungkook's enlistment and how he can still go later maybe even in 2028 ignoring the many times Jungkook himself said that he will enlist soon, that he can't wait to reunite with the members in 2025.

I don't know where the disrespect, where the audacity, where the bravery is coming from, but seriously Jungkook is way too kind for some people, like.. WAY TOO DAMN KIND. Just because he said he wanted us to be friends with him it doesn't mean that some boundaries are meant to be crossed. Just because he is a man, it doesn't mean it gives you the right to treat him like something that you own, if he was a woman i want to see if those same people would still make comments about him that way.

Men can be harassed too, men can be sexualized too, men can be objectified too. Him wanting to be the grown up that he is doesn't give you the right to mold him into a filthy image out of your own fetishes.

Please have some respect for that man, support him for who he is, not who you want him to be.

[beomgyuslilracha]

you don't go to parties ☆.* 4

⊹ pairing: choi yeonjun x f! reader

⊹ genre: exes to ... complicated

⊹ warnings: none?

⊹ wc: 4k

summary: back in your college days, you were living at the prime of your life alongside your boyfriend, yeonjun. you couldn't remember most of it, though, considering it was a blur consisting of mostly parties and many drunken nights. eventually, you reached your limit, and you and yeonjun no longer saw eye-to-eye. after many fights and endless tears, you disappeared for good and left that life and your boyfriend behind. but, five years later, yeonjun was still waiting for you at every party.

when the following day came and went with nothing to show for it, you presumed it safe to assume that the secret admirer fiasco was nothing but a complete misunderstanding.

not that you were even remotely surprised. with no card attached or even a clue as to who the silver-haired mystery person was, it only made sense that it all ended up being one big mistake.

that wasn't to say that it wasn't a little disheartening anyway when the next day came along with no delivery at reception.

or the next day.

or the next...

your gaze from the computer monitor traveled over to land on the floral arrangement, which now resided beautifully in a vase atop of your desk. a small sigh escaped your lips as you caressed one of the blooming petals, feeling slightly ridiculous for partially hoping to be surprised with another gift again.

not that it was through any fault of your own! you couldn't remember the last time anyone had gone out of their way to cutely buy you any gifts, so you couldn't help being a little greedy for another.

"do you want me to get you something, y/nie?" kai had asked you that afternoon, having spotted you staring longingly at the reception desk as you walked by — secretly hoping for miss mina to call for you. "i can get you more flowers!"

your frown had quickly perked into an appreciative smile as you looked back over at your adorable friend. "that's so sweet, but you don't need to do that, kai," you assured him, though you felt your heart flip a little at the thought.

"you're right, i should've just done it without telling you." kai's brows furrowed together as if he were truly upset with himself.

this made you laugh as you two entered the elevators, and it was the most beautiful sound kai had ever heard. he loved it even more knowing that he was the reason behind the melody, and he would give anything to do it again and again.

as he silently pondered over what kind of gift he wanted to surprise you with, you made sure to pull out your phone and remind beomgyu to meet you both in their usual practice room.

you and kai had just returned from the KBS broadcasting hall, where kai would be special hosting on music bank this week and beomgyu would be there to determine his place on the k-charts for his most recent EP release.

with work ahead of the three of you for the remainder of the day, you were able to distract your mind from being disappointed about the nonexistence of your 'secret admirer'. even though you pretended you weren't bothered by it, it would still silently sit at the back of your mind as a small 'what if' every time you walked through the lobby.

it was for the better, of course - allowing you to finally focus on more important things and forget all about it.

and you almost did!

up until the next day, when you were strolling into the office to visit kai for a last minute fitting for music bank tomorrow, that your attention was suddenly called for in the lobby.

"miss y/nnn~" mina's sing-song voice called for you from behind reception, her pursed lips finding it difficult to suppress the grin desperately trying to break through.

"yess?" you monotonously mimicked her singing, a little wary of her good mood as you strolled over to the front desk.

it took her no less than a second to reveal a heart-shaped box of chocolates from behind her back. "look who came to deliver another gift for you!" she announced giddily, handing over the sweets into your hesitant hands.

you were more than ready to deny the gift, assuming it to be a mistake yet again, but that's when you noticed the cursive font of your name printed atop of the attached card.

A CARD??

you could feel the pounding of your heart in your eardrums as you stared down at it.

"did- did you happen to recognize who it was that dropped it off?" you found yourself asking, having to pull your eyes away from the card that was practically screaming your name.

"no, i'm sorry, honey," mina apologized. "he was wearing a hat and a mask, but i'm pretty sure it was the same gentleman from last time."

with a slow nod, you smiled politely and quickly bid mina a goodbye, making your way to the elevators in order to read the note without having to react publicly.

what if he left a name?

or maybe a clue to who they were??

before the elevator doors could close, another staff member had raced inside to join you on the way, thus preventing you from being able to read the card in private.

although, it did give you a chance to calm down and think rationally to keep you from getting your hopes up. as you watched the numbered floors slowly increase, you were reminded of the day before when kai had briefly mentioned about getting you a gift himself.

you figured it made far more sense for the gift in your hands to be from kai, considering it conveniently arrived the immediate day after he had suggested such an idea. in which case, you found no harm in peeking at the card's contents with that thought in mind.

with one deep breath, you flipped open the card ... only for your heart to drop in disappointment.

whatever it said before, it was entirely illegible underneath the frustrated scribbles. you couldn't even make out a single character to read anything, leaving only a tiny heart by itself in the only corner that the scribbled mess hadn't reached.

would kai really have written this?

no, of course he wouldn't. you knew kai, and he would have written something adorably cute to make you smile. there was nothing he could possibly say that would permit him to scribble it out so harshly.

was it ... was it really a secret admirer?

you were chewing harshly on your bottom lip as you first rushed to the floor of your office, wanting to drop off the cryptic gift before heading to the fitting rooms.

once you arrived, you were almost instantaneously greeted by the brightest smile and a cheerful exclamation of your arrival.

"y/n!! you're here!"

you blew kai a quick kiss as your own form of greeting, earning a deep red flush that covered the entirety of his face. not wanting to disturb any of the stylists hard at work, you stood off to the side and patiently waited for a spare moment to talk to him.

although you were more than confident that kai was not the culprit behind the gift, it still didn't hurt for you to ask anyway to be entirely sure. maybe he had written something embarrassing and gave it second thoughts?

"hey, huening, quick question," you came up to his side the second he was dressed back in his normal clothing.

"sure, what's up?"

you began to fidget nervously with your fingers, suddenly embarrassed at the idea of having to ask him. "did you- did you happen to get me a gift today?"

your face was growing drastically warmer.

kai's smile seemed to fall slightly. "oh, no, i'm sorry. did you really want me to? i can go get you something now! it's not a problem at all, i can get you the prettiest-"

"no! no, no, kai, it's fine!" you were quick to stop him, your embarrassment having doubled by this point. "i was just asking 'cause i got one today and the message was ... well, it was weird."

kai tilted his head curiously, though his brows furrowed in confusion. "it was weird, so you thought it was from me?"

"no, that's not what i meant!" you shook your head. you were beginning to wish you had thought this conversation through before initiating it. "i just remembered you saying something yesterday about it, so i thought it was from you."

by that point, you figured it was best to show him for yourself - so once he was cleared for the day, you both headed out together to your office.

surprisingly, beomgyu was already waiting for you both inside - standing by the window and adjusting the note in every angle of the light to try and decipher something from it.

"wow, you really can't read a word this says," he commented suddenly, as if continuing the conversation that you had been having from the start.

not even questioning his presence, nor the reason why he snooped through your things to begin with, you sighed and agreed.

kai had attempted to examine the chocolate box itself, wondering if there were any hidden notes inside that you might have missed. of course, seeing as he had snuck a few pieces to eat for himself, you wondered if that was his real intention.

"miss mina didn't tell you if she recognized the person at all?" beomgyu questioned, now trailing back over and tossing the scribbled note onto the table before reaching for a chocolate as well.

you shook your head, resting your chin atop of your hand as you released another sigh. "no, she said that he covered everything this time."

"well, if nothing else, we at least know that he doesn't work here," kai shrugged, though it didn't exactly make the situation any better.

instead of responding sarcastically, as you had originally wanted to, you instead opted for sending a half-hearted smile in the sweet boy's direction. you knew he was merely trying to find a positive light to the situation, but it only made it worse to imagine the ocean of suspects out there.

you didn't like having to wait around for whoever this admirer was to gain the courage to approach you. you just wished you could thank them personally for their sweet gestures.

"well, in other news, do you want to see the dance practice for my performance on music bank?" beomgyu asked you, pulling out his phone in hopes of changing the subject in order to lift your spirits again.

luckily for him, he chose the best topic.

your head perked up eagerly from your resting position, an excited smile now happily replacing the defeated pout from before. "you recorded it?"

"yeah! you didn't get to make it last time, so i wanted to be able to show you."

the second beomgyu managed to achieve a smile on your face, the dilemma from before almost instantaneously got pushed to the back of your mind.

after watching and praising beomgyu's practice video, kai then begged for you to help him practice his mc lines for tomorrow - which ended up being a lot more messing around than any actual rehearsal.

thanks to your two friends, you were able to forget all about the discarded note.

at least, up until kai had tried to throw it away with the empty chocolate box on the way home.

"you actually want to keep it?" he questioned you, genuinely confused on why you'd want to keep a bunch of meaningless scribbles.

you shrugged, truly unsure as to why you'd want to keep it for yourself. you stared down at the lone heart in the corner, bringing a tiny smile to your lips.

if nothing else, you still found it endearing.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

"do you know how hard i worked on that?!"

yeonjun was pacing back and forth in his studio, scolding his younger friend after he had returned and admitted what he had done to the note that yeonjun claimed to work so hard on.

"i don't think copying song lyrics counts as hard work," taehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. "and it wasn't even your song, it was mine!"

yeonjun crossed his arms and huffed, his eyes averting away from his friend to stare down at the notebook filled with other discarded lyrics from taehyun's songs. "you should be flattered i even liked your music to begin with."

taehyun shook his head, annoyed.

he ultimately came to regret ever befriending yeonjun all those years ago in the first place. lately, it seemed that any time he came over to visit the idiot, he was then somehow dragged into following along with his ridiculous behavior.

this time around, taehyun ended up succumbing into his own pity for his pathetic friend and now found himself becoming yeonjun's personal delivery boy.

"if you were going to copy my lyrics, then at least choose a line that makes sense next time," taehyun told him, his expression now bored.

yeonjun appeared baffled, genuinely taken aback by taehyun's words. "what part of 'just put your heart in my hands, i promise it won't get broken' doesn't make sense?!"

"i don't know, try .. all of it." taehyun was a minute away from pulling his hair out. "for one, you already did break her heart. and for two, this is supposed to be an apology, not a high school confession."

"why can't it be both?"

taehyun could only curse at himself in his own head, wondering why he still continued to entertain yeonjun this much.

"other than the fact that you're in your mid-twenties?" taehyun asked rhetorically, smirking mischievously from taking a jab at yeonjun's age. "because you still have yet to actually say the words 'i'm sorry' to her."

yeonjun opened his mouth to retort, but one glare from taehyun warned him not to.

man, he hated when he was right.

yeonjun defeatedly threw himself down into his studio chair, spinning around in slow circles as he pondered over what to do next. if there was one thing he did know, it was that you deserved more than just a tiny note with a half-assed apology written inside to fill the small space.

the only problem was, yeonjun had absolutely no clue as to how he would ever get the chance to see you again.

the one golden opportunity he had, where you were practically served on a silver platter right in his very home, he absolutely blew it. instead of listening to the tiny voice of reason in his head, he chose to be his arrogant self instead and ruin his chance with you for the second time.

taehyun sighed, once again unable to watch from the side as yeonjun wallowed in his own despair. as much as he liked to act like everything he did annoyed him to no end, he still hated to see yeonjun in such a sorry state.

he couldn't believe he actually missed his obnoxious personality from before.

"alright, clearly you can't think of anything for yourself," taehyun sighed, rubbing his hands across his face in frustration. for as long as he remained friends with yeonjun, he was never going to learn his lesson. "so this time, i'll help you think of something."

at this, yeonjun's mood seemed to perk up. he couldn't be sure if it was from the offer itself or simply knowing he wouldn't have to struggle thinking for himself anymore.

seeing as he now had yeonjun sat and silently waiting, taehyun figured now would be a better time than any to admit an idea that had occurred to him earlier in the day.

"you have music bank tomorrow, right?"

yeonjun nodded, though he didn't appear at all excited at the thought. it would be the last week of his two-week promotion period for his latest EP, so he was already exhausted to no end and couldn't wait for it to be over.

"do you know anything about who's going to be there?" taehyun questioned, hoping to slowly lead yeonjun along to realize the rest for himself.

"does it look like i care about who's going to be there?" yeonjun deadpanned, eyes rolling in annoyance.

deep breaths, taehyun, deep breaths.

trying to calm himself down enough to keep from smacking the idiot, taehyun continued. "you will when you find out that a certain two people that a certain someone is friends with are going to be there."

thankfully, it took only a matter of seconds for yeonjun to piece the words together. his bored eyes suddenly widened, and his heart started pounding a little too hard against his ribcage.

you were going to be there?!

"shit, what should i do?" yeonjun suddenly started to panic, standing up from his chair to continue his earlier pacing across the small room. "do i go up to her? do i- do i ask her to meet me?"

he looked over at taehyun expectantly, waiting for him to begin spewing his usual words of wisdom any minute now.

"i'm not going to hold your hand; you can figure out the rest yourself," taehyun smirked, standing up from where he was sat. "but keep in mind that she's probably going to have one or two bodyguards with her at all times."

seeing yeonjun's eyes almost bulge out of his head, taehyun figured the least he could do was clarify one or two friends, rather than actual bodyguards.

then before he knew it, yeonjun was left alone in the studio room. the silence was deafeningly loud, and even his thoughts appeared to have gone entirely blank.

what the hell was he supposed to do now?!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

later that evening, as per usual, both you and kai were to be found lounging around in your apartment once again. this time, kai insisted on referring to it as a celebratory sleepover for his special mc position the following day.

in reality, he merely just wanted any excuse to spend an evening alone with you - otherwise he would've suggested inviting beomgyu over for the same reason.

overall, it was a very cozy and domestic night. you had ordered a large pizza for you both to share and even started a series to binge watch together on netflix.

although, much to your own surprise, you both somehow ended up settled beside each other in your bedroom – doing your own things, of course.

kai was playing animal crossing on your nintendo switch while you did last minute work on your laptop.

every time that kai had come over before, the two of you would normally reside in the living room for the entirety of the night. glancing over at him now, you suddenly couldn't remember how it came to be that the boy was now laying comfortably beside you under the covers.

"look, y/nie! look who our new islander is!" kai interrupted your thoughts, turning the switch screen over to reveal the adorable character for you.

"you got dom!!" you cheered excitedly, leaning forward to see just how precious the little sheep was up close.

kai's smile widened, though a bit shyly as a small blush crept up to his cheeks at your sudden proximity.

when you first bought the game, you had told kai that your main goal was to obtain dom for your island. after about two months of playing, you gave up on your search and put the game to rest.

in which case, kai created his own profile to move into your island and pick up where you left off. now here he was, almost a year later, with your dream character moved in right next door to your home.

"you're the best, i can't believe you found him!" you pouted happily, admiring the adorable garden home that dom belonged to.

meanwhile, kai's gaze was more focused on you. he just found you so cute, and it made him all the more giddy to know that he was able to put that smile on your face. every bit of effort he put into the game was now worth it to make you happy.

"here, you should see how i decorated the island too," kai quickly suggested before you could hand the game back, scooting ever closer to you in the bed.

his head was leaned over your shoulder as he guided you around the island, pointing out cute little things that he had decorated for you — most especially the small garden with a heart pond right in the middle.

as you cooed and awwed at everything he made, along with visiting all the islanders you didn't recognize, kai had subtly rested his head against yours. for some reason, the simple action had his heart racing and he was very unsure as to why.

it wasn't like the two of you haven't been close before?

after you had seen everything there was on your shared island, you suddenly let out a much louder yawn than you had originally expected. it was so strong that even kai found himself reciprocating a second after.

"we should get some sleep," you told him, rubbing at your now tired eyes. "i can set up the mat for you if-"

"actually," kai stopped you, his hand reaching out to lightly grasp your wrist and prevent you from standing up. "is it okay if we just ... stay here?"

you blinked. "stay ... here?" you pointed down at the bed, wondering if you were truly understanding him correctly.

unknowingly to the other, both your hearts suddenly began to pick up speed at a similar pace.

kai nodded. "i don't want to sleep alone on the floor," he pouted now, his eyes resembling that of a puppy.

how could you possibly say no?

your stunned expression quickly shifted into a playful smile. "okay, but i better not find out you kick in your sleep."

"no, of course not! i'm more of a slapper," kai joked, making you giggle that beautiful melody that he adored.

after you both washed up and settled back in to your designated sides of the bed, you bid each other a cute goodnight and sweet dreams before shutting off the bedside lamps.

unfortunately, it was not as easy to fall asleep as you had hoped.

with the foreign presence laying just a mere foot away from you, you couldn't help but be all too aware of every breath and rustle of movement.

you weren't uncomfortable, no, you just found it ... weird.

the last person you ever shared a bed with was yeonjun, and, even after five years, it never occurred to you that there would be anyone else.

if it weren't for the fact that you knew kai was trying to sleep beside you, you probably would've groaned out loud in frustration for allowing yourself to think of yeonjun again. you hated every time he crossed your mind because you would then find yourself helplessly reminiscing over the past.

even now, as you pictured the way his arms used to wrap around you so perfectly, you had to press your hands against your face in order to suppress your thoughts. tossing over to your side, away from kai, you squeezed your eyes shut and prayed to think of absolutely anything else to fall asleep.

meanwhile, kai was too caught up in his own thoughts to sense your exasperation. he was more focused on wondering why his heart was pounding as erratically as it was this late at night.

he couldn't be sure as to when exactly it started, but he did notice it occurred much more frequently as of recently.

as he was rested on his back, kai tilted his head over slightly to see the faint outline of your figure laying beside him.

did his heart rate pick up just now?

but why? why would it do that?

kai couldn't have been more confused. the two of you have been friends for three years now, so why does it feel different all of a sudden?

a heavy exhale escaped his lips without him meaning to, and he quickly glanced over to see if it disturbed you at all. when you didn't move or make a sound, kai realized that he should follow your lead and focus on trying to sleep before he drove himself crazy.

it was his suggestion to sleep here in the first place, so he couldn't understand why he was suddenly feeling so nervous about it after the fact.

you were so calm and unbothered, yet here he lay completely restless and his mind overthinking.

you two were friends - you were close - so this was more than okay. in fact, it was normal.

so then why did he want to be closer?

previous | masterlist | next

a/n:

okay LISTEN- i know it's very hyuka x y/n focused, but i SWEAR i have a plan in mind and i'm NOT just succumbing to the bias wrecking brainrot... and even if i was, can you blame me?

anywayyyyyy pls pls pls pls let me know if you enjoyed this part ?? it took me over a week to write out the first draft, and then i scrapped everything .... so i hope this second draft does well <;/3

~

series taglist:

@cookiehaos @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @junzwrld @gyuuluvrs @goldennika @nobodyshallenter @lubtou @soobsfairy444 @2ynjns @cherriruto @baekberrie @youraggedybitch @eundiarys @jwicore @bokk-minnie @cha-raena @sparkswhoz @wo-ai-ni-yong @strvlveera @ghostfacefricker6969 @blondsoobinenthusiast @whippedforbeomgyu @l0stindigo @angelbythewindow @hkplushier @aloverga @ineedsomezzz @themiddlefingerinthesky @idkhoomanmaybe

permanent taglist:

@human-misery @dongmeiii @softcabur @marekmybeloved @aishidaishi @taekwondoes @wccycc @jjhmk @mjlasagna @eclecticeggknightpsychic @yjusei @beachbabe4ever

both taglists open !!

[normalkiwiblitz]

Hi!! This blog is absolutely everything to me rn. Not so much of an ask as much as a letter of appreciation haha

I found Kiwi Blitz at a time in my life when I was young and unsophisticated, and Kiwi Blitz was exactly that back then, too. (see: the portrayal of cops and police in early KB [in general, but earlier Tracks especially]) and as I grew up, KB grew up with me, just a little. Eventually though a time came in which I outgrew the story, but the characters and the ideas still rattle around in my head from time to time.

As a fellow lesbian and fellow appreciator of Gear (Gear who was broken by a broken system. Gear who wants to die but not as much as she wants to live. Gear who is the perfect image of Steffi through a glass darkly), these posts and edits do so much justice to the ideas of these characters. In a way that I GET it again. I remember why Kiwi Blitz, you know? There is a poetry here and in your analysis of these silly little characters that transcend the work and make it your own. I am affected. It is contagious. TRANSFORMATIVE stuff

In summary. Gear

[door]

1! 6! 11! 25! 26! 33! 41! 42! 48! 52! 54! 69! hoo boy that's a lot. also how's 30s

hi! oh wow that is a lot. enjoy??? (for the 30s ask meme)

gonna answer the last thing first because honestly i've loved my 30s, and since i'm going into my final year of them it seems apt to reflect. i figured out i was queer like a month before i turned 30, so my 30s have been about queerness and community, about taking risks on things that previously i thought i were too old for. i moved cities and careers, i got a masters degree, i found sooooo much friendship and interests and hobbies and got every single one of my tattoos. i am more myself now than i have ever been before. i used to joke that i had been waiting my whole life to turn 30, but i think that was true actually. getting older rules.

What was the first piece of furniture you bought?

off with a BANG. i think it was probably a knock-off saarinen tulip table i got from craigslist when i was in grad school the first time, long long ago. i think the guy had found the base (which may in fact be genuine) and he built a wooden top for it. it's lovely and i think i paid $100 for it. we don't have room for it in the current house (it's dining room sized, about 5 ft across), so it's hiding in my aunt's basement for now.

6. Most precious thing one of your pets has destroyed?

this wasn't actually one of mine, but my parents' dog punkin. the first and only thing i won at auction was a poster for the 1976 50th anniversary of the 1925 exposition des artes decoratifs (which cemented the art deco style and later contributed its name), and punkin ate it. i can still barely talk about it. looked like this:

11. What’s something you saved up for and then regretted buying?

weirdly the first thing i think of is an inflatable chair i got from kb toys in the mall when i was a kid. i thought that thing was going to change my life. it didn't. i cried. my mom helped me return it.

25. Favorite old person activity?

playing solitaire with real cards. when i was a kid, while the rest of us were rolling in the sand and getting our teeth knocked out by waves at the beach, my grandma would sit inside and play solitaire. one year i joined her. she taught me SO many varieties of solitaire and i remember em all.

26. Would you rather sit on the porch drinking sweet tea or sit by the lake drinking beers?

i don't drink alcohol so sweet tea gets my vote. lake vs porch really depends on the breeze situation, but most likely lake. i love a body of water.

33. What’s something you collect?

edward gorey books, including paperbacks he did covers for. also linda ronstadt records

41. What’s the oldest thing you own?

i don't know! i have a lot of old furniture i inherited or found in thrift stores so i really don't know how old any of that is. it might be a ring that belonged to my great-grandmother. it probably dates to the mid-19th century.

42. What’s an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want?

a roomba! which is unjustifiable in part because of the weirdness of our house. but how will we know until we try it!

also: this coffee grinder (unjustifiable because we have a perfectly good one already but this one is red) and this milk pan.

48. If you could build your home from scratch, what outrageous feature would you want to build into it?

A CONSERVATORY!!! i want a glasshouse i want to fill it with plants and enjoy the OUTSIDE while INSIDE. that's the dream.

but also like. so many secret passages.

52. Did your relationship with your parents get better when you stopped living with them?

i think it got worse, actually.

54. Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?

i decorate the yard for halloween (full graveyard babey), but any spooky decorations that go up inside the house usually become permanent. we don't have room for anything more than stockings in the current house, but i put christmas lights up on the porch and around a doorway inside.

69. What are you looking forward to next week?

my paycheck lol

[sickofthis666]

"Feminist" songs recommendations:

Tried to find a playlist of "feminist", or more like "women positive" songs online the other day and the results were disappointing, so I'm making my own and thought I'd share!

My Way, Ava Max

"But how come when I tell you

What's on my mind like men do

I'm called crazy?"

Killings boys, Halsey

Jennifer's body inspired.

"All I want in return is revenge"

Bitches, Tove Lo

Bitch Of The Year, Krewella

I've had enough, Melina KB

"So you say you really miss me

Well that makes me laugh

Cause you miss the way I let you walk over me"

Eat Me, Demi Lovato

"Try to be sexy but don't be too sexual

Longer hair and tighter clothes

Would you like me better if I didn't oppose?"

Suburbia, Tove Lo

"I never want babies

I never want a marriage

You are the love of my life

But I can’t be no stepford wife"

My Man, Winona Oak

"Damn

You think that you’re so hardcore you’re the man

Keep looking at me like you’ve got a chance"

Sex Yeah, Marina and the diamonds

"If history could set you free (from who you were supposed to be)

If sex in our society (didn't tell a girl who she would be)

'Cause all my life I've tried to fight what history has given me

If women were religiously recognized sexually

We wouldn't have to feel the need to show our ass-ets to feel free

Tired image of a star, acting naughtier than we really are"

Man's world, MARINA

"Burnt me at the stake, you thought I was a witch

Centuries ago, now you just call me a bitch

I don't wanna live in a man's world anymore"

Just a Girl, No doubt

"Don't you think I know exactly where I stand?

This world is forcing me to hold your hand

Oh, I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite

So don't let me have any rights

Oh, I've had it up to here

'Cause I'm just a girl, I'd rather not be"

You don't own me, Lesley Gore (modern cover by Saygrace is good without the male rap imo)

Competition, Little Mix

Power, Little Mix

Little Me, Little Mix

29, Demi Lovato

"Finally twenty-nine

Seventeen would never cross my mind

Thought it was a teenage dream, a fantasy

But it was yours, it wasn't mine"

The Man, Taylor Swift

Nightmare, Halsey

That Bitch, Bea Miller

Now You Know, Icon For Hire

Good thing, Zedd with Kehlani

We will rock you, In this moment (cover by 3 female artists)

Not 20 Anymore, Bebe Rexha

Home with you, Madison Beer

Fall In Line, Christina Aguilera ft Demi Lovato

Not Afraid, GJan

Pendant 24h, Grand Corps Malade et Suzanne

"D'être une femme, je veux découvrir l'enfer du décor"

Nobody's wife, Anouk

Experiment on Me, Halsey

"Lock up your sons, make way for the daughters

You be the lamb, and we'll be the slaughter

Who needs a Y this many X's?"

Don't hesitate to add yours.

[what-breaks-my-heart]

Watched in 2023

Korean Drama:

Apple of My Eye (KBS daily drama, 2023)

Between Him and Her (Channel A, 2023 - ongoing)

Can We Be Strangers? (Genie TV, 2023)

Check Out the Event (MBC short drama, 2021)

Elegant Empire (KBS daily drama, 2023 - ongoing)

Lady Durian (TV Chosun, 2023)

Live Your Own Life (KBS weekend drama, 2023 - ongoing)

Meant to Be (MBC daily drama, 2023)

My Dearest (MBC miniseries, 2023)

Numbers (MBC miniseries, 2023)

Pandora: Beneath the Paradise (tvN, 2023)

Perfect Marriage Revenge (MBN, 2023)

The Real Has Come! (KBS weekend drama, 2023)

The Third Marriage (MBC daily drama, 2023 - ongoing)

The Witch’s Game (MBC daily drama, 2022 - 2023)

Three Bold Siblings (KBS weekend drama, 2022 - 2023)

Unpredictable Family (KBS daily drama, 2023 - ongoing)

Woman in a Veil (KBS daily drama, 2023)

KBS Drama Special:

To My Assailant (2020)

While You're Away (2020)

One Night (2020)

Scenery of Pain (2021)

Siren (2021)

Ordinary Jae Hwa (2021)

The Effect of a Finger Flick on a Breakup (2021)

Underwear Season (2022)

Do You Know Ashtanga (2022)

Silence of the Lambs (2022)

The Distributors (2022)

No Path Back (2023)

Half Lies (2023)

Do Hyun's Confession (2023)

We Were There (2023)

Dog Days of Summer (2023)

The True Love of Madam (2023)

Love Attack (2023)

Korean Movie:

Confidential Assignment (2017)

Confidential Assignment 2: International (2022)

Emergency Declaration (2022)

Exit (2019)

Gate (2018)

Recalled (2021)

The Roundup (2022)

The Roundup: No Way Out (2023)

The Tower (2012)

Chinese Drama:

Gank Your Heart (2019)

Love You Seven Times (2023)

Nothing But You (2023)

She and Her Perfect Husband (2022)

Song of the Moon (2022 - 2023)

The Romance of Tiger and Rose (2020)

Chinese Short Drama

Love at Second Sight (2023)

Chinese Movie:

My Blue Summer (2022)

Yesterday Once More (2023)

Taiwanese Movie:

Someday or One Day (2022)

Taiwanese Drama:

Someday or One Day (2019)

Japanese Drama:

Bokura wa Koi ga Hetasugiru (2020)

Japanese Toku Series

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid (2016 - 2017)

Avataro Sentai Donbrothers (2022 - 2023)

Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger (2023 - ongoing)

[kalena-henden]

Taemin's whole life he's been pushed to be the company's next leader with little time to think of anything else because of how busy he was with work. Living with his family allowed for constant reinforcement of those self-sacrificing expectations at home as well. His year in jail gave Taemin a reprieve from both his work and his family. That's alot of time off to reflect on his life and what he wants out of it. One of the things he kept coming back to as he worked out in jail daily is how much he enjoyed training with Hyoshim and missed spending time with her. I'm sure this is what led to him to start looking at her in a romantic light. Which in and of itself is a natural thing.

When Taemin first calls Hyoshim after he's released, she is relieved and happy to hear from him again. She seemed to like him as a person and client. However, when he wants to start spending personal time with her, she begins to show signs of discomfort. This is the disconnect. During her year away from him, Hyoshim worried about Taemin as a person but this did not lead to any romantic awaking on her end. After a few times hanging out with him out of obligation, she only felt increasingly aware of the divide between them. Taemin feels at ease with her in a way he doesn't with his colleagues or even family. You can see it in the way he interacts with her and why he's trying to share about his life with her. Unfortunately for Taemin, Hyoshim doesn't feel the same. A handsome, wealthy man paying attention to her isn't giving her dreams of becoming his Cinderella. His notice feels like a burden she wants to escape. Each interaction keeps confirming that she doesn't want a romantic relationship with him.

The problem is that Taemin has given up his autonomy in every area of his life out of filial duty, exactly like Hyoshim. He's been unable to break free, but holding onto Hyoshim feels like a lifeline. He's about to hit his boiling point. If he lets go of the idea of a romantic relationship with her, I think he actually might break because there is no valve to release the pressure building up in his life. It's why he refuses to give up on her even though he knows she's not interested. He's grasping at his last shred of hope for happiness.

What Taemin doesn't realize is Hyoshim is not the right person for him because she is repeating his mistakes in her own life. They both need someone who will give them the encouragement and support to stand up to their superiors at work and families at home to take control of their own lives. This is the only way for both of them to truly find happiness.

Taeho appears to be the right person for Hyoshim. They challenge each other, making them consider things from a new perspective. Until recently, they've done this in a combative way but moving forward I see them doing this in a more respectful way. This brutal honesty has naturally led to an ease and comfort between them that will pave the way for their romance.

While it's a little early, it appears that the reporter is a good match for Taemin. Their interactions have also been combative and brutally honest. They don't hesitate to speak their minds to each other. Her family business is powerful enough to help him wield that power to help sway his company's board members. Also, she would be no pushover for Taemin's mom to control. Instead, she would flick his mom away like the annoying bug she is, giving Taemin the freedom to do as he pleases. Right now he's bristling at her advances, the way Hyoshim is bristling at his. The looming question is will he see the light before it's too late? Before he does, I think he's going to lash out in the wrong ways that will hurt rather than help him.

[dramadaisies]

oh god the birth secret is FUCKED

[ariibees]

*climbs into your askbox like an old friend* I just wanted to come and say I vibe so hard with your feelings about Outer Wilds! Unfortunately for stupid reasons of physical impediment I'm unable to play games with a controller and it is, as it turns out, pretty impossible to play on mouse and keyboard, so i had to experience it through other people's playthroughs which was a huge shame. but nevertheless, I absolutely agree with "rewrote my brain"!!

Interestingly enough, I had the exact opposite experience with the control schemes -- I played the game using keyboard & mouse pretty comfortably, and absolutely would have suffered with controller. In the early game the controls do take some getting used to (particularly the delayed jump and zero-gravity maneuvering) and I was using a pretty awful button mapping setup earlier on, but with the exception of [THAT SECTION] that controller can arguably-slightly-cheese I preferred the ease of looking around and aiming my scout that kb&m provided. Though I'll admit I'm biased in that regard, as I've gone to pretty comical lengths to avoid having to use a controller for anything (looking at you, Sonic Adventure 2) and thus never really learned how to hold/use them.

That aside, even though you didn't get to play the game on your own, I'm glad you were able to enjoy other folks' playthroughs -- there are some seriously awesome ones out there. Since it's impossible to replay Outer Wilds for obvious reasons I always try to push people towards experiencing it on their own first, but in a situation where you can't I'm glad you still got to see it through one way or another.

As for the actual point of the ask hahaha, yeah, gosh, this game just fundamentally dug into me in a way others haven't. I legitimately went through the five stages of grief over the game's ending.

The game is also just great at putting you in the shoes of the Hatchling. With the exception of like, continuing a save after getting the kazoo meme ending which technically "doesn't happen," you explore the world and learn everything entirely in-character, which made it all hit much harder for me. It didn't feel like I was observing a story, it felt like I was the one making it and uncovering the mystery and having all of this happen to me. That and the fact that I had some personal things going on in my life around when I played Outer Wilds that aligned with the game's themes, leading to it kinda taking me out on a very personal level.

Outer Wilds also just seemed perfectly engineered to suck me in, haha. It's got computer simulations! Black holes! Quantum mechanics! I was the kinda kid who lived for space documentaries so getting to fly around and explore everything was amazing. Going through environmental puzzles, reading adorable exchanges with the nomai, getting to see the most incredible sights (the door falling away at the [SPOILER] and having to make a leap of faith to get across the gap was amazing), and putting it all together in a wild red-string conspiracy board...I completed the entire game over the course of like, 2-3 days as I recall? Just entirely immersed for that time.

It's inspired me so much in my stories and how I think about mysteries. It's the best time-loop game out there, and the presentation of the sandbox mystery is just unparalleled in any other game. Hence why everyone who's played it is left looking up Youtube playthroughs and chasing that high again -- personally I think going into the original Subnautica game blind touches some of the same feelings, but you're never really gonna get the Outer Wilds Experience again.

The mechanics are great, the mystery is presented wonderfully; I fell in love with the environments and the characters and the dialogue. The themes were tied into the story very naturally and hit me right in my core. Obviously I can't really replay it, but I do sometimes boot it up just to reread some sections or go hang out on Giant's Deep for the ambiance; it's comforting and nostalgic in a weird sort of way.

Sorry that this response isn't anywhere near coherent. I'm very, very tired right now, and I love Outer Wilds a lot and won't pass up a chance to ramble about how great it is. It's a very special game to my heart and dug into me in a way other games often can't do. It's not for everyone, but if it is for you it's REALLY for you. Clearly I like it and clearly you like it. So thanks for climbing into my askbox and setting me off, haha.

[the-oc-lass]

Nimona OC - Charlotte Swiftheart/Corova

Alright, I'd say this is the last drabble for this section but I think I'd be lying if I said that. Not sure though. Anyway.

First, Previous, Next

She doesn't want him to go. He's incredibly injured and a wanted man. She doesn't want him to be on his own with that. But it isn't her decision to make. When she'd woken him up just as dawn was cracking the sky, like she promised, she'd tried to convince him to let her help him. But he'd said no. He didn't want to put her, the KB, or any of the people in her sanctuary in danger. He'd find a way to manage on his own. It doesn't sit well with her at all.

They find themselves at the back, far more hidden exit. She passes the bag over to him, watching him sling it over his good shoulder.

"That should have enough supplies and pain medication to get you through, but you can come back if you need anything," she says, keeping her voice down so as not to wake anyone. Ballister nods, adjusting the pauldron on his right shoulder. It looks so strange there, with no arm emerging from beneath it. They both look at the empty space for a moment, and Charlotte's stomach twists. "You should stay with us, Bal. I can protect you." He looks up to meet her gaze.

"They'll be looking for me, Char. And if we have to worry about Ambrosius..." He trails off, but she understands his meaning and looks away.

"He'll look here first," she finishes, hands balling into fists. From the corner of her eye, she sees him nod, and there's sadness on his face. Hurt, and not just the physical kind. She looks back up at him, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm so sorry." He shakes his head and steps toward her, his hand finding her cheek.

"This wasn't your fault, Charlotte."

"But if I'd said no back then, if I'd stayed a cadet, then maybe I-"

"Hey," he says gently, "don't do that to yourself. If you think of six years worth of what-ifs, you'll go crazy. This isn't on you, Char." She lifts a hand to rest it on the one on her cheek, leaning into his palm.

"What are you going to do? Where are you going to go?" she asks, still worried for him. He purses his lips and looks away, which tells her enough. She thinks for a moment, then pulls his hand away from her face and takes it in both of hers. "Do you remember that old tower in the woods? The one I showed you when we were kids?" He looks up at her for a moment, then looks away and furrows his eyebrows in thought.

"The one that you said you'd convinced the other kids a witch lived in, but it was actually just your hideout?" he asks, gaze darting back to her. She nods.

"Do you remember how to get to it?" He takes a few moments to think again, then slowly nods.

"I think so. But didn't you show that place to Ambrosius too?" he asks. She shakes her head.

"Just you. I didn't think Ambrosius would care for it. I probably would've taken him if I'd stayed at the Institute for longer, but..." He gives her a wry smile.

"Guess it didn't work out very well for either of us," he says, but she can see the grief in his eyes. Ambrosius, the Queen. He lost them both at once. He was given a shining moment of acceptance from the kingdom, only to have it ripped away in the next moment. It's not fair. She tugs on his hand and pulls him into a hug. He sinks into it, and she instinctively curls herself protectively around him. She'd do anything to fix it all. He deserves so much better than this.

"I'll come check on you once it's safe, okay? You don't have to do this alone," she whispers. He nods, fist curled tightly into the back of her shirt. "I'm not going to lose you again, Bal." He doesn't speak, and she goes quiet for a while. She's not sure how long they stand there holding onto each other, but eventually, they both pull away. Ballister takes her hand and gives it a soft squeeze.

"You saved my life. Thank you, Char," he says. She squeezes his hand in return, smiling slightly.

"You never have to thank me for that. I did it because I care about you," she says. He smiles a bit too.

"Thank you anyway," he says. Slowly, he releases her hand and steps back, turning toward the door. But he pauses again and looks back. "I love you, Charlotte." Her heart clenches, and she's struck by the fear of never seeing him again. What if something happens while he's out there? What if something happens and his wound opens again? What if he's captured, executed? She blinks back tears and pushes the horrible thoughts away.

"I love you too, Ballister." He looks back at her for a moment longer, then turns. She watches him walk away and prays that she sees him again.

Lovely tagged people:

@ammonitetheseaserpent @perfectkittystranger

[ancientcraftnoccultism]

Beginner Class - Grounding 101

Ancient Craft & Occultism

Grounding 101

___

By KB

Introduction

Welcome back to class everyone! Today, we begun Module 3! Another chapter down, 4 more to go. This module will break down different types of basic energy work in order to strengthen what we just previously learned. Today, specifically, we will be focusing on grounding & centering. We will get a bit more in depth on this lesson than we did in the previous module.

Centering

"What is centering?", you may be asking. Well, in simple terms, it is the reinforcement of your personal energy & the energies around you. It is a form of becoming balanced with oneself. In our day to day lives, we tend to take on large amounts of stress. This can disconnect us from ourselves and the energies around us. This is why grounding & centering are crucial to retain balance and energy within any kind of energy work.

When centering yourself, you're able to find a place within in which you're able to focus your energy to. It is the method of recollecting all of the stray energies from your body back to a single point. I like to think of it as reclaiming my power and personal energy. You'll notice that once this energy is regained, you feel much more focused.

Find Your Center

Sure, there's a lot of information out there about cantering, but I've rarely seen anything explain how to find your own center. We're going to go over a few ways you could do that here.

I, personally, always recommend journaling, as it allows you to externalize internal thoughts, which also allows for another perspective. Not only that, but it also allows you to analyze things in a visual sense. Here are just a few prompts for your journal, if you decide to go this route.

"Where do you feel the energy coming from?"

"Where do you feel your intuition coming from?"

"Is there a place in your body that feels a sensation when raising your personal energy?"

"When you relax, and allow your personal energy to flow where it wishes, do you feel a place it going to the most?"

Visualization is another very common technique used when centering. Typically, one will visualize the body flushing itself of negative energy and being replaced with personal, positive energy. Typically in the forms of lights & colors, although everyone is different in this aspect.

Breathing exercises are wonderful ways to refocus and reclaim your personal energy. It allows your mind and body to calm down and become aware of the present sensations.

Taking a warm, relaxing bath with aromatherapy, soundscapes, and set lighting can be a wonderful way to awaken and recall your energy.

Again, the body is wiser than the mind. Allow emotions to come up, and allow your body to react in whichever way it feels called to in order to get this energy out.

Grounding

Grounding can be useful for managing many aspects within our daily lives, even outside of our craft. It helps prepare us for productive work as well as allows us a chance to recharge our energy with the aid of our Mother. Grounding is to be energetically aligned with earth energy - focused, structured. It allows us to connect to our personal energies and also allows us a chance to channel that energy in a way that is balanced.

Throughout our daily lives, grounding can help us calm our minds, which in turn relives stress and allows us to be less irritable. We worry less when we're grounded. If you find yourself very restless with an excessive amount of energy, try to incorporate grounding in your day to day life and see if it helps any. Not only that, it's just a lovely way to get in touch with Mother Earth ♡

Ground Yourself

There are several ways to go about achieving the same goal. Let's go over a few of them together.

Get in touch with nature! Let your spirit go wild for a while. Lose yourself in the trees, the dirt, the wind, the water, whatever element you choose, lose yourself in it.

Take time to purposely do something nice for yourself, like a nice bath, or a good cup of tea. Be aware and mindful throughout the process.

Take the time to metaphysically cleanse your aura and your space, along with any items you frequently use.

Use natural herbs and woods as incense.

Read texts, poetry, or lyricals aloud.

Conclusion

Incorporating this practice into your daily routine can help benefit not only your craft, but your mental and bodily health as well. It allows you the opportunity to be in the optimal frame of mind. See you next lesson ♡