#I could give this a thoughtful response but there r 4 people following this blog and one of them is me

[normalkiwiblitz]

Hi!! This blog is absolutely everything to me rn. Not so much of an ask as much as a letter of appreciation haha

I found Kiwi Blitz at a time in my life when I was young and unsophisticated, and Kiwi Blitz was exactly that back then, too. (see: the portrayal of cops and police in early KB [in general, but earlier Tracks especially]) and as I grew up, KB grew up with me, just a little. Eventually though a time came in which I outgrew the story, but the characters and the ideas still rattle around in my head from time to time.

As a fellow lesbian and fellow appreciator of Gear (Gear who was broken by a broken system. Gear who wants to die but not as much as she wants to live. Gear who is the perfect image of Steffi through a glass darkly), these posts and edits do so much justice to the ideas of these characters. In a way that I GET it again. I remember why Kiwi Blitz, you know? There is a poetry here and in your analysis of these silly little characters that transcend the work and make it your own. I am affected. It is contagious. TRANSFORMATIVE stuff

In summary. Gear

[enduracarrotchips]

YouTuber AU

Hello welcome to Dating Scandal but with Twitter Involved (nightmare)

A little exposition here: 

Link, Zelda, Sidon, Revali, and Riju are the most popular group of youtubers on the internet and have a huge fanbase that likes to theorize, draw fanart, and write fanfiction about them. Disclaimer, I don’t actually interact with real-person fandoms myself lol there’s just too much potential for drama and misunderstandings & they’re always bound to end in a dumpster fire but that is sort of what this au is about so.

Impa, Mipha, Daruk, and Urbosa are family friends that appear in a lot of their videos/streams. 

(This is an art blog I swear)

enter vidcon 20XX

Link: 

blows stuff up/sets stuff on fire with a side of cooking vids and gaming

most are filmed outside, he does those challenges where you try to cook stuff with limited ingredients/materials

has the largest fanbase of all of them, but not the most…intimidating.

does a lot of collab videos, mostly with Impa, Daruk, and Riju because they have similar interests/channels, but Zelda appears in his videos and is seen filming and the stans read too far into it

simps. i’m pointing at you.

Most popular videos are “shield surfing on rock!—how I broke my leg” “can Daruk eat Impa’s motorcycle?” and “how to inhale ranch dressing.”

Twitter handle is @ arsonistslullabye because he’s a hozier fan

45m subs

Zelda:

theories, analyses, conspiracies, and the occasional e x p e r i m e n t

she once got link to eat a frog for 50 bucks.

most people argue that she’s better than more popular YouTubers because she actually has quality content to give to the world and she has a lot of defensive supporters

She used to get a lot of hate before Urbosa spoke up about it and scared the bejeezus out of everyone

has an actual posting schedule

“Happy Sunday everyone, it’s Zelda Hyrule and today we will be talking about cryptozoology and why blupees exist, you cowards.”

Twitter handle is @ zeldaofhyrule and she is pan. just so you know. One of those calm extroverts that mystify me to this day.

18m subs

Sidon:

fashion/life hacks. Like gourmet troom troom but if they were real people.

Has the 2nd largest fanbase

most of them are girls

Sidon has a boyfriend though, which he told everyone at VidCon a few years ago

cue the drama and shipping and the entire fandom trying to figure out who the boyfriend is. A well known reddit thread emerged that presented the common guesses being Link, Sidon, and Zelda.

“But it can’t be Zelda, Sidon’s gay.”

“I’m not in the fandom but I thought Zelda was a boy??”

“Did you just say Sidon? Is that a typo? Are you saying that Sidon’s dating himself?”

Sidon x Sidon became a fandom joke.

Don’t look at me I’m just setting up all the worldbuilding. every fandom has their weird dark sides and Sidon x Sidon is the Linkcest of the Sidon YT fandom.

Mystery BF is actually Bazz, a pretty inconspicuous guy who appeared in a few of his videos. This was confirmed a year ago, but everyone still ships him with other YouTubers because they’re convinced he was lying to throw them off his scent. He really can’t catch a break and this is why you should not ship real people.

Twitter handle is @ officialprincesidon

says “beguiling” a lot

21m subs ᕙ( ͡❛ ▿ ͡❛)ᕗ

Mipha:

Sidon’s sister, hasn’t posted a single video but just has the channel for show because she appears in so many of Sidon’s videos as a model for his makeup tutorials and whatnot

has 328k for that. Everyone loves her, she’s great. @ mimipha

Revali:

Link’s sworn rival

Link thinks they’re friends

He kept popping up in link’s Twitter threads and making snarky comments until zelda called him out for not even following link (so why was he stalking his acc) which kept the Twitter drama to a minimum

Revali was the catalyst of a few popular memes and that’s where most of his subs come from.

drags link into a few challenges that always get a ton of views because of how competitive they get

“ITS JUST ASININE” is a running joke that everyone tries to get him to say. His @ is itsjustasinine as well

Urbosa is the only person who can win an argument with him

5m subs and growing rapidly. newer to youtube than everyone else.

Impa:

Doesn’t have a channel she’s just a mutual friend of Mipha, Zelda, and Link

Rides a motorcycle, so she is used in a few of Link’s videos.

@ ihaveamotorcycle because she thinks having a motorcycle is a personality trait. the most unruly on Twitter when it comes to replying to fan’s stuff, leaking upcoming videos and generally causing chaos.

Mipha’s girlfriend. That’s how she met Zelda and Link.

Urbosa:

Is actually a model, but she has a ton of YouTuber friends because she’s known Zelda since birth.

when she entered the youtube community she didn’t realize she would be adopting like 15 children

5m subs. her videos are professional & related to her modelling career. @ urbosasfury

I feel like she would do unboxing vids. I’m not sure what she’s unboxing.

Daruk

Just a friend of Link’s, fun guy. yells a lot. once ate a rock and had no reaction.

people are scared of him for that reason

Riju:

yoga & gymnastics & “ha look at how flexible I am its eAsY” videos

you know the type

she also does reactions and is sponsored by save the sand seals charities which she is very enthusiastic about. She’s also Urbosa’s niece and the only minor in the gang (15). I like to think that the champions YT community is actually not creepy so everyone respects her a ton

doesn’t post frequently, she mostly appears in Link’s videos to jump out of airplanes or whatever. And sometimes Zelda’s if she’s interested in the topic. 500k subs, but she’s always really popular when she appears in Link’s videos.

VidCon:

In the months leading up to VidCon, some fans on the internet made a few discoveries: first of all, that the inside of Link’s house is painted green. This is a big deal because all of his videos are filmed outside either in his backyard or on trips that he and the brosquad go on to do…whatever bros do. explosions. idk. The point is he had some announcement about VidCon and filmed it inside. Only the wall and a potted plant were shown.

However, the colour was similar to the the shade of Zelda’s living room. Fans dug through years and years of old videos and found a clip of Zelda walking through a hallway, where there was an open door and a glimpse of a houseplant.

There were 2 types of responses to the theory:

“They could just be roommates guys calm down”

“and they were ROOMMATES?”

others pointed out that Link could just not have a house and had to crash in Zelda’s

Some guy on reddit claimed he had a botany degree and declared that the houseplants in the clips were not of the same genus. Normal people pointed out that the plant would have grown 4 years between the clips and would look considerably different.

#Zelink trended on twitter for a while and people posted other old clips from both of their channels and the frog video blew up again

Impa retweeted a post tagged as #zelink with “rofl” and later publicly apologized for causing confusion.

Fans noticed that in the “can a motorcycle drive over my arm” (it was clickbait he’s fine) episode 2 years ago, Link was eating out of a paper lunch bag with his name written on it in handwriting that a few people claimed to look like Zelda’s, leading people to believe that she had packed him a lunch.

However, this theory was shot down with the counterargument that Zelda can’t cook. although. i mean how much skill do you need to make a sandwich.

No one knows what tumblr is doing at this time

Zelda wore a scarf in her “Save the Sand Seals” video that matched identically to the scarf Link wore when he travelled to Hebra to film a shield surfing video, but it’s been debated wether it’s actually the same scarf or not.

Neither Zelda nor Link has spoken up about the theories, and besides Impa’s one slip on twitter, neither has any of their friends. Zelda received a lot of backlash for the assumption that she was dating Link because he has a lot of delusional fans that didn’t want her to “steal their man” or whatever the hell that type of fan would get mad about

Oh yea and bolson & karson run a zelink fanpage on twitter sorry I forgot about that

after that whole mess, everyone was even more anticipant of VidCon in the hopes that some of their questions would be answered.

The whole batch went to VidCon this year: Link, Impa, Daruk, and Riju are a gang while Sidon and Mipha go together and Zelda & Revali each go separately. Urbosa is there for supervision moral support

Zelda has always been much better at dodging questions that she doesn’t want to answer than anyone else, so her Q&A went without a hitch. When asked to confirm the rumours she said “which one?” and then moved on to the next question (without actually confirming any rumours).

Link is generally a more awkward person but eventually said that he had filmed the video in Zelda’s house because it was nicer and didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar. Fans were disappointed, but Bolson claimed he saw Link and Zelda exiting the hotel elevator on the same floor after Link’s Q&A session. No one believed him.

Fans went back to theorizing over who Link, Zelda, and Sidon were all dating, because apparently they can’t just be dating unknown people and have to be with other YouTubers

Sidon and Bazz got engaged about a week after VidCon, making at least 4 preteen girls cry

actually try 4 million

Sidon x Sidon made a brief comeback but Sidon spoke up about his fandom for the first time ever on twitter and told everyone that no, he was not dating himself. eventually, everyone settled down and accepted that none of them were in a relationship save for a few loud fans.

Link and Zelda still got the occasional “when will you tell us who you’re dating?” comment but most of them were joking and the people who still hardcore shipped them were generally frowned upon. Zelda’s popularity went up after VidCon and she regained the 200k subscribers she’d lost after the first theory dropped.

Two months after VidCon, Link posted a video titled “Zelda and I’s House Tour!” and gave around 45 million people a heart attack

as revealed in the video, they had actually been dating since they were 16 and everyone’s just a fool.

the potted plant is named Hestu.

[mimibtsghost7]

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost. 

funny enough: 

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life. 

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol). 

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well ..  guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me? 

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right: 

 Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me: 

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first. 

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony. 

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them?  You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that? 

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner. 

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever. 

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it:  a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~ 

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left.  As for me @hobisbeautifulass​ you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~ 

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^ 

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

[binniesthighs]

eehee here it is the long awaited results of my chaotic ass survey about our hornies it’s so long holy heck, but I have seperated it into a couple sections to make sense of it all (omg if you read all of it lemme give you a kith teehee) ahhhh lol its SO nerdy haha but i hope that ya enjoy nonetheless! ✨

In this essay, I will....(hahah jk jk this is just all for fun) 

1. Demographics Analysis 

2. Polls on Fic Content 

3. Member Specific Analysis 

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (Confessions) 

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion  

6.  Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle

*Unpopular opinions will be made into their own post to give them ample space and analysis!

Other Notes: 

Out of 100 individuals surveyed, 44 were readers, 2 were only writers, and 54 were both readers and writers. 

Statistical significance can be effected by sampling, selection, and response bias (yeah i took a stats class teehee) and personal biases 

All the the opinions and other analysis presented by me (Ro/binniesthighs) are purely my own oponion and are not factual. you are entitled to interpret all of this information however you like! Anything that i analyze is not definitive! 

while this survey is mostly about stay smutblr, i hope that it can also maybe serve as a template for other fandoms as well with the more general questions! this is a survey for everyone! 

i’d love to hear about what you think about anything presented in this analysis! feel free to send me an ask or comment! reposting is permitted within tumblr or on other platforms if proper credit is given! ❤️ (uwu hehe if you could please help me spread this i would appreciate it so much! i worked really hard on her 🥺) 

1. Demographics Analysis:

Gender Identities of those Surveyed 

~My thoughts: this really came as no surprise to me considering how the majority of kpop fans (especially boy group fans) identify as female! Seeing as I am a Stray Kids/Seventeen blog (both of them boy groups) it makes sense to me that my readers would mostly identify as female! 

Another important thing to note (from a writer standpoint at least) is the wide array of identities that we still have present within the general audience of stay smut blur (SSB)! I’ll get into this later when i discuss favorite pairings to read, however i think that this gives us one more reason to write for a diverse audience of readers who can identify with different types of self-insert fics! 

Top Five: 

Female (81%) 

Non-binary/gender non-conforming (13%) 

Changes by the day (6%) 

Male (4%) 

Demiboy/Demigirl (3%) 

Sexual Orientation of those Surveyed 

Other identities mentioned: 

????, unlabeled, aromatic bisexual, bicurious, demisexual, “just liking who i like”, experimenting, heteroflexible, sapiosexual, depends day by day, “i just like anyone” 

~My thoughts: okkkkk i see us gays of SSB 😏 these demographics were really exciting for me to see! i think that it’s super cool that we have such representation across the board when it comes to sexual orientations present in our community! As someone who personally identifies as pan, this was super comforting to see that there are so many others like me in this little space of the internet! I think it’s safe to say at least from my lil survey that all the bi cuties out here own SSB 💗💜💙

From a literal standpoint, it also makes sense to me that heterosexuality is strongly present as well considering that often the pairs that we read are male idol x female reader so this is the perfect niche! 

Top Five: 

Bisexual (40.8%) 

Heterosexual (26.5) 

Pansexual (17.3%) 

Queer (7.1%) 

Asexual (4.1%) 

Stay Creators!! 

~My thoughts: this one i was THRILLED at seeing oml hahaha and i was so interested to see that this was nearly an even split! 

I think that there’s something to be said about how sometimes we can take our hobbies: (movies, videogames, books, kpop, anime etc)--all things which we really like in totally normal and healthy ways but also kinda like....get hornies about them too? if that makes sense? for example, i have a friend who really likes certain video games/characters from these games as a fan and he’s shared with me that he also doesn’t mind watching porn containing those same characters! (ahahah ya all know what i mean don’t even lie haha) 

what this question proved to me as that there are stays out there who practice “being a stay/being a stay creator” who also are interested in the more...horny side of this hobby/interest 😂

what is even more interesting to me is who i wonder if i’ve  have consumed any of ya’ll’s content while you have consumed mine??? this i am DYING to know aha but it think its best for all of us to stay anonymous teehee ;) 

either way, good on ya for doing what ya do!! you are so so treasured in this community too!! <3 

2. Polls on Fic Content (a long section lol) 

Favorite Pairing to Read 

*other options selected were rankings of favorite pairings so i just added each of them as an entry to the respective category mentioned. 

Top Five: 

Idol x female reader (69%) 

Idol x gender neutral reader (19%) 

Idol x reader x Idol (poly r/ship) (14%) 

Idol x reader, Idol x reader (threesome, not much interaction between the two idols) (8%) 

~My thoughts: once again, this category was pretty self explanatory to me considering that the majority of readers are female identifying, so it would make sense that they would prefer to read smut that aligns with their identity! This is also super present anyway of SSB as i do feel like the majority of writing pieces that I do come along are idol x female reader, and most authors too often disclaim that they are the most comfortable writing this type of pairing as well. 

What’s signficant as well is the interest in reading fics with gender neutral reader self inserts as well! this is my personal philosophy when it comes to writing (specifically with requests) but i think that writing gn!reader is always the safest bet to go as to not make assumptions about readers! for writers i think that seeing this 19% is something important to take into consideration! 

An outlier to me with this demographic was the “poly r-ship” poll garnering a notable 14% in comparison to the idol x idol option which got 10 less votes (4%). what is a little confusing to me about this is how poly r/ships often (but not always) contain idol x idol content, however there is discrepancy with the amount of readers outright saying that they enjoy reading it alone. I’ll get into poly fics later with the unpopular opinions section--however i wanted to plant the seed here hehe. One other caveat to this is the fact that on SSB i feel like idol x idol content is really in the minority and is much more present on a platform like AO3 so this could be another explaination! 

What is kinda cute to me is the fact that readers do really like poly r-ship dynamics more than a threesome (as i defined it, “with less interaction”) so this makes me feel like we are all saps for the fluff that comes with poly r-ship fics ;) 

Favorite Kind of Smut to Read 

male idol smut (67%) 

i read both! (female and male idol smut) (25%) 

depends on my mood (7%) 

female idol smut (1%) 

~My thoughts: Again, this is super expected to me as well considering the above statistics. Since i am a skz blog (a boy group) --as are my moots-- it really makes sense that those who filled out this survey would be into male idol smut! 

what was cool for me to see as well was the number of readers who also read female idol smut as well as male idol smut! personally, i more predominately a fan of boy groups compared to the amount of girl group content that I consume (note: i do also consume gg content). because of this, i think that its really up to personal preferences and the content that you consume that can be reflective of the smut content that you consume as well and ya know, whoever gets your hornies going ;) 

Favorite Genres...Ranked! 

*so this was my fault lol i totally formatted this question poorly in google forms so i’ll try to summarize the most popular rankings with my words haha 

*bc of the way that i miffed it (lol) i wasn’t able to get exact measurements, but rough ones! 

Top Five: 

Smut, fluff, angst 

smut n’ fluff (with specific emphasis angst is not desired)  

smut, angst, fluff, 

fluff, smut, angst, 

angst, fluff, smut 

~My thoughts: by far, the most popular ranking that i saw was as follows: smut, fluff, angst. i saw this sososos many times haha also...ya’ll got really creative with your rankings and it made me giggle hehe. So! seeing as this is stay smutblr haha makes total sense that the three most popular rankings that we have were lead by smut! since we’re here for the hornies, i totally get this. 

as for the “smut n’ fluff” or “fluffy smut” category, there was a decent amount of readers that expressed that this mixture is their fave! i’m kinda looping this with the “mixture” option that i also provided for this question since this was the most popular mixture that i was able to observe along with angst + smut. interestingly, i saw a couple mentions of “hurt/comfort” fics with this question too so this went well with this preference. as for number three on this list, we dip into that smut + angst category that I just mentioned as well. there were several individuals who said that they really really enjoy reading smut with angst! 

lastly we get to the four and five on the list: four being fluff, smut and angst. i think this category can also properly represent the folx who tend to like more fluffy fics over the smutty ones, but that can also have suggestive themes too! in five, we have angst, fluff and smut which also is representative of another theme that i saw: as far as plot goes, several people mentioned that they liked fics that start with angst, get fluffier, and then end up in smut, so i think that this could be easily compared! 

*there were also several readers who simply said “all of them” or opted not to rank, (lol me) so this really shows the variability in results! 

Cute stuff ya’ll said (kind of out of context too LOL) 

“... hehE I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE.” 

“...I KNOW IT [my ranking] LOOKS TERRIBLY SPECIFIC AND IM SO SORRY and I guess the better way to describe that was one that has all 3 with a happy ending lol my b my b.” 

“ ...it just depends on the mood my dude.” 

“... (the smut doesn’t have to be soft i just want the relationship to be soft and i want aftercare and general affection).” 

“(but almost no angst oops)” 

“angst honestly makes me so sad.” 

“... but long fics with angst and slow burn smut/fluff is just WOW.” 

“ my favourite thing is when it's fluffy smut tbh with a little bit of angsty backstory. that is *chefs kiss*” 

“(I'm a sucker for good angsty fics but I cant seem to find them???)” 

“Smut, Fluff, Angst (I tend to be a bit of a purist so no mixture here).” 

“(i can't read pure angst lol) “ 

“(I love how much plot there is in angsty fics but I personally can't read anything without a happy ending, i just can't take it)” 

“ i literally couldn't rank them bc my mood is always changing lmaooo.” 

“ smut, fluff, angst. i know what i’m about.” 

Favorite Length of Fics 

Top Five: 

5k-8k words (27%) 

2k-4k words (25%) 

1k-2k words (20%) 

10k-20k words (15%) 

20k words (12%) 

~My thoughts: this one was super helpful for me to see!! and writers i hope that this is helpful for you too! as someone who tends to rambles (lol) it was very comforting for me to see that long-ish fics are actually preferred! what is really cool about this data too is that it is all super well balanced for the most part and nearly edqual in some parts! how i see this, i think that when it comes to preferences of length, its really reader specific so anyone could like anything! this goes into a little bit the slow burn question that i asked as well too, but it’s really cool to see that when readers do read, they kinda like something to sink their teeth into! 

i wanted to look into how long it takes you to read these words, and it appears that on average, a 5-8k fic can take someone 30 mins to read whereas a 2-4k fic takes about 15mins! idk if this says something about attention spans, but as a writer it warms my heart to know that you’re willing to spend 30 minutes of your time reading something that i wrote! 🥺

another thing i wanted to bring up is the “hard and fast” smut readers--those who like to get straight to the point, get right to business and to the juice! they are also a decently large group too! as for readers who like a nice long fic or a chaptered fic, they are super close in numbers! from this, it’s safe for me to assume that maybe those who like reading longer fics are more inclined to strap in for the long haul with chaptered fics too! 

Favorite AUs to Read 

*the top category that got cut off (thank you google forms lol) is friends to lovers! the one that says “...love” at 48% is enemies to lovers, and the one that has a blanked out title at 35% is strangers to lovers! 

Top Five: 

friends to lovers (65%) 

enemies to lovers (48%) 

high school/college au (40%) 

roommates/neighbors to lovers (38%) 

strangers to lovers (35%) 

Other AUs mentioned by you! 

office au, royal au, vampire au, fake date, idol au, slice of life, boarding school au, childhood friends, soulmate au 

~My thoughts: ok ok so this was RAD to see! i often wonder myself the kinds of aus that my readers would like to see so this was really helpful! circling back on how readers tend to favor fluff n’ smut (friends to lovers) and angst n’ smut (enemies to lovers) i think that we’re seeing some more themes here teehee. 

i like to think that since most of us are of the college age, the college au is super relatable therefore we really like to read it! not to mention that college and high school au’s are super duper cute as well! this is also relatable to the roommates/neighbors to lovers category which is also relatable to us who may or may not have experienced having a roommate or crush on the cutie next door ;) as a couple readers mentioned, they liked more “slice of life” au’s--which both of these categories fall into! i think we as readers like scenarios that feel the most real to us, bc they are the easiest to insert ourselves into :) 

fantasy and thriller, action, more “fiction” tropes are in the minority, however i think that this can be for the exact same reason as i mentioned above where readers like more relatable scenarios. 

Opinions on Slow Burn Fics 

~My thoughts: during polling of this category, this pie cart stayed basically the same the whole time!! that was pretty cute to see! the important take aways from this survey for me is the fact that slow burn fics are generally really loved! again, lol as someone who writes big ol’ long slow burn fics this made me feel a lot better hahaha basically, the general consensus is that slow burn fics are welcome most of the time, however some readers might need to invest a little more time into them! this is also very easily comparable to the above statistics on the length of fics preferred (longer ones being the ones more popular) so here’s a lil more supporting evidence! 

3. Member Specific Analysis 

Bias Survey 

Top Five: 

Chan (19%) 

Changbin (18%) 

Hyunjin (16%) 

Jisung (15%) 

Minho (14%) 

~My thoughts: ok ok ok so this is where it starts getting JUICY hehe (also i apologize once more for making you pick LOL) 

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if there was a correlation with biases and if there was a probability that members who had more people biasing them (or popularity I guess) were more likely to be read more in smut fics! AND I WAS RIGHT haha isn’t this so fkn cool??? (see more in the next section!) 

for comparison, i went to kprofiles to see their little survey on bias popularity and their top five. 

Kprofiles Top Five: 

Hyunjin (15%) 

Felix (14%) 

Chan (12%) 

Minho (11%) 

Jisung (11%) 

SO oh my god my nerd brain is loosing it over this REE so, what i should note that is those who took this survey on my blog are likely generally different based off of the fact that they are here to read smut specifically, rather than the general holistic popularity survey. It is for this reason that we see Felix much higher on this list and Changbin much lower too (as we know Felix is really well known generally and globally and there are *generally* fewer Bin biased fans). What was really interesting to see what that with Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho, they still all stayed within the top five! Soooo what i’m saying is.... all of you Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho fans really must like your smut 😏 and I think that it’s safe to assume that the majority of hard stans come from these four members too ooP (and of course our Binnie too! ;) i see all of ya’ll 👀) 

Members That Get Our Hornies Going 

~My thoughts: AHH DOESN’T THIS LOOK SO SATISFYING? I’M SO PROUD OF HER!!! 

First off, i would like to acknowledge the all mighty power of Bang Christopher Chan for pooling this most hornies god DAMN while i kind of expected this, it is also evidenced in the fics that i write! recently i’ve been tracking the number of notes that my Chan hard thoughts get in comparison to other members and the differences are usually ASTRONOMICAL. He is most def the most popular member for smut for several different reasons, lowkey bc i think that it’s kind of part of his brand?? hahaha if ya know what i mean? 

As for preference from Minho on, we can see a super obvious trend that as age order decreases, we get less and less interest for reading for the member. I’m fairly inclined to believe that this has to do with the fact that most often fans (especially fans older than skz) have a harder time seeing the younger members in a sexual way, so the lack of interest totally makes sense here! As referenced above too, we found that the oldest five members (Chan --> Jisung) are the favorites for smut reading which we can see here as well when the numbers really drop after Felix (Felix coming in at 6th place on my “popularity” survey). 

Bc of these statistics, i do really feel like as a reader, i tend to see much, much more fics involving our top five! As for Seungmin and Jeongin, I’ve also seen people state that they do not read or write content for these two members bc they do not feel as comfortable, so this can also explain the lack of content. Also as we have heard many times, Jeongin is a bit of a hot topic lol within the SSB community, so this makes sense that his readership would be low as well. 

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (aka confessions) 

Is the fact that you read smut a seggsy secret? 

~My thoughts: JUICE TIME JUICE TIME 

Before I say anything, i wanted to tell you all how all of the juicy questions were totally optional, but i got 100% participation for every single one of them which if find HILARIOUS i guess you all are just as curious as i am?? ;) 

So! for this question, we have an overwhelming amount of readers who said that only their closest friends know which is so cute to me! i love how we can trust our friends with this hehe. i also fall into this category bc like, it’s lowkey kinda fun to talk about? maybe also the fact that i run a smut acct makes me care a little less about it all hahah 

secondly, we have the rather large group of people who said that they wouldn’t dare to tell anyone which is also sooo cute haha idk how to explain it but this was the category that i started out in too until i found the right people! But i totally get ya, reading smut--especially-- kpop smut-- can be embarrassing or cringey to share (not to mention that it is somewhat morally grey LOL) so this is really understandable! 

also my fkn hats off to all of you who said that you didn’t care about who knows that you read smut. here, you dropped this: 👑 you’re much braver than i could ever be. 

When you read smut, do you really feel the hornies? 

~My thoughts: ok, so this one to me was also very interesting for me to see as well! (also if you get uncomfy reading about personal masturbation habits you can skip this one lol) 

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if people “get off” by reading smut (whether reading it turns you on, or if you choose to use it for “material” to get off on however this might look, might be more of a mental simulation without any real like, physical getting off) candidly, I use smut to get myself off every once and a while, so i wanted to see who else might be in the same group! since becoming a writer however, i read much less and reading it doesn’t hit the same when i was just a reader bc i have a different perspective of being the one writing the smut so i look at it more analytically--i digress. 

it was exciting (teehee get the pun?) for me to see that others also “get off” on smut too--and that they are the majority! teehee it is an honor for me to provide you with the hornies LOL. at the same time, we still have a large group in the “don’t take to seriously” category which was interesting to me too! i can’t speak for these readers, but i interpreted these kind of readers to be the kind who read smut to imagine the scenes and are like “hm, that’s hot, i like thinking about this.” but it doesn’t extend much outside of these thoughts. 

What is the most popular position pairing we like to read? 

*smaller slices of the pie represent multiple favorites which i also seperated back into the categories corresponding to get the best count into what was the most preferred. 

Actual Breakdown: 

dom!idol // sub!reader (51 votes) 

switch!idol // switch!reader (32 votes) 

subidol! // dom!reader (11 votes) 

all of the above (5 votes) 

depends on my mood (2 votes) 

~My thoughts: i feel as if there is a bit of a conflict between which position really is “the best” and while we really can’t know the answer to this question since everyone has different preferences, we can at least find out which one is the most popular to be consumed! 

again, going off of the content that I also see as a reader, i see TONS of dom!idol fics, like, left and right. also, if i may come for all of our necks, 👀 but...there’s really something to be said about the fact that the majority of readers are female and historically and socially, women are typically socialized to be submissive, so i can see why this would be why we would favor this among fics--this is even further evidenced by the fact that male idol smut is also preferred, thus further perpetuating the fact that women have been socialized to be submissive to men specifically. i’m not saying that this is the end all be all reason that this trend is present, but i merely offer it as a possible explaination. this is a much larger sociological conversation, but i think that this trend also showed itself in the types of smut that readers seek out as well--according to demographics. 

sub!idol fics are few and far in-between, and i think that this can also be for the exact same reason as i talked about above! 

When you read smut, do you pick faves to read for? 

~My thoughts: what’s cool about this question is the fact that the “half and half” nature of it also resembles what we saw in the section for favorite members to read! As we see in that chart, 41 out of 100 people said that they read everyone, similar to this question where 48 out of 100 people said that they read for everyone. What this proves to me once more is that when it comes for reading fics, there's a 50/50 chance that the reader will look at, and read it based off of who it is about alone. This is a really powerful statistic, meaning that the members who that a writer might write for really dictates their readership! At the same time, it’s super comforting to know that regardless of what you as a writer might write, there’s always someone out there who is willing to read it! (as evidenced by the 52% of people who read for anyone! this is still a large number) 

Readers: Do you only use Tumblr for smut? 

~My thoughts: when i first started out reading smut, i was in the “i just look up skz smut” group LOL so i wanted to see again if there was anyone like me--which there is! This was more of my interest in seeing if some people view tumblr as “their smut dealer” AHA so that my initial motivation. I was surprised to see that this is not the case! out of 100 readers, 39 of them have their own non-smut blogs and the second largest group of 26 people use tumblr for smut exclusively. 

idk why, but when thinking of this question, it really got me thinking back to the question where i asked if reading smut is a seggsy secret, and there was the group of people who said that it is for them--i’m assuming that these people might be part of the group have non-smut blogs and read on the side teehee. 

at the same time, there is a combined 40 people who said that they use tumblr for smut purposes only which makes sense to me, as those who filled out my survey are readers of my smut blog if you catch my drift haha  

Writers: Do you read smut, or just write it? 

*56 responses correlate with those polled who identified as writers/both as mentioned above 

~My thoughts: this survey is really really cute for me to see bc it means that there is a whole support network or writers out there reading, supporting and here to hype other writers work!! if anything, as a writer because it takes so much time to write, it can become hard to find time to read, hence the “when i have time option lollll (*cough cough* me LOL) thank you all for your honesty with this question! 

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion 

Survey on Exposure 

~My thoughts: i kinda wanna close off this survey by getting on my soapbox for a sec lol. At least for me, the most common ways that readers found my blog were: looking up a tag, and from a repost. i think that this really goes to show the power of exposure and certain tactics that you can use to increate readership of your account! new readers, if you’re reading this and you’re just starting out, tagging your stuff is so so important! 

also, as i have said and so so, many other content creators have said countless times before, reposting is so crucial and it takes little to no effort to repost a creators work so that it might reach others! as a writers, we spend hours, and i mean hours creating content, editing, drafting, creating headers all out own time to publish something that we are proud of and for you to enjoy! it means the world to authors when you reblog their work and even more when you give feedback too because this is our passion! we write for free in the middle of our busy lives so the validation makes it all worth it!! 

Conclusion 

~phew! so that’s it! once again, i wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart from participating in this lil study! i really hope that it is helpful to writers and readers alike! i wanna give ya all the biiiiiigest Ro huggies!! 💕💕

as i mentioned above, the answers for the unpopular opinions will be made into their own post bc there is a ton of them and i didn’t want to clutter up this doc lol 

don’t ya ever forget that you are important, loved, and special! happy hornies my cuties ;) 

~R 🌹

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle (and hopefully makes you giggle too)

~you all are the light of my life!! each of these comments brought me so much happiness and i love you all so fkn much for that!! also, to those of you who said, “Ro date me” PLZ haha i will date you too!!! too all of the super sweet comments about my writing, thank you so so very much and thank you for reading! it means so much to me!! to all of the i love yous, ahhhh i love you toooooo  💕

“I DUNNO IM BAD AT FUNNY STUFF BUT KNOCK KNOCK I GUESS? -whos there 

RO 

-ro who 

Me, in chan voice: RObber ducky you're the one 

yeah... 

yeah 

bYE” 

“ I didn’t know changbin’s thighs were of such importance until I saw your username but now?? 👀 I am looking respectfully.” 

“ every time chan doesn’t reply to my bubble message i hold my breath and try to die💆‍♀️” 

“ here are my favorite emoji combos: 😐☝️ 😫🖐️ 😂🤏 (i use that one when i get a dick pick and it's rlly small but the person thinks its big-) “ 

“ you are EVIL for making me choose just ONE bias OT8 EXISTS OK!?” 

“ I hope this survey provides you with a lot of useful feedback! -sincerely a big tiddie committee member (you know the one)” [hehe yes i do hai M ;)] 

“ chan’s tiddies... that’s it.” 

“jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo?“

“ Jeongin is appropriately baby bread because his face is puffy in the morning so it's kinda like yeast rising 👉👉 “ 

“ someone needs to tell hyunjin to put some vaseline or something on his cuticles like I love him a lot but his recent live made me scream sir your cuticles are hanging on for dear life please I'm literally begging you “ 

“ I squeal whenever I get a notification from you and my family think I’m secretly dating someone. It’s nice knowing that they think I can get someone during a pandemic 😁 “ [this one had me SENT] 

“i hope ur dreams are blessed with skz thighs.” 

“ HS Bin supremacy!!” 

“Sta” 

“Ro(ses) are red, violets are blue - DaVinci painted Mona, cause he couldn't find you :') “ 

“✨ dInG dOnG ✨ “ 

“You're doing God's work as a changbin stan xD “ [thank you so much aHA] 

“damn gorl, are you a wifi signal? cause i’m tryna connect 🤔🥴✌🏾 “ 

“Good luck with your survey! I hope you get a big response! You know what else is big..? 

 Chan's feet. (I'm sorry, that was my attempt to make you giggle but I'm clearly not a comedian)” 

“What's the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm! (Haha sorry star wars joke) “ 

“egg“

“just because you’re garbage, doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot <3 “ 

“Soft-Dom Minho Agenda is the best agenda. I have spoken. Sincerely yours, Javi (@itsapapisongo) “ [this is the way javi] 

“Bang chan daddy supremacy” 

“ro, ro, ro your boat gently down skz’ dick hell yea.” [this also had me SENT] 

“stay smut writers should take “maknae on top” literally“

“idk man i’m just vibing. hope ur day is going well. (changbin voice) da DA da” 

Fin. 

~🌹~ 

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz  @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @chaangbin​ @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

[l0chn3ss]

l0chn3ss update

I feel like the last time I ever really active on tumblr was in the year 2016, so i want to address my absence between 2017-2020. Part of it is because I feel like I owe it to my friends and mutuals who I just basically left on read and another part is because I’ve always treated this blog as a personal blog that documents my life and my growth. I put off writing this for a long time but now that I have a huge paper due, now is definitely the time.

You are welcome to skip but I will address a few hard hitting questions I feel should be answered, especially since I feel like I departed like an anti-hero of a bad tv show.

Where I am currently: I am in grad school to obtain a master’s in library and information science. I have a full time job at different middle school libraries, though I work from home now. I also tutor kids on the side to pay for my tuition because I basically make minimum wage. Quarantine messed with my head at first, but now I’m feeling much better and I’m trying to reconnect with friends and close a lot of loose ends.

TLDR: I took an extended break because tumblr mobile sucks and my laptop needed serious repairs. I made a huge migration away from social media in 2018. I prioritized my education and in-person connections, which fell to shit because of my fandom involvement in the past. I did not like the direction of the main fandom I participated in and knew that many of the people I once respected did not respect me in return/ Us versus them mentality. I recognized that I treated my life on tumblr too seriously and took petty drama personally. I am sporadically on tumblr now because I genuinely enjoy the social connection and because I still like running fandom events.

Yes, you can reblog this. I’d love for this narrative to be heard.

Long version: To preface this, this post is being written to give myself closure and because I really am procrastinating on my final big paper of this semester. I’ll be tackling on the points in the tldr in a longer narrative that will appear to be in an expository fashion, which I recognize will be a source of contention, but my intentions are to throw it onto the table so that I can be freed. I can let it go and move on. I’m no longer a 20 years old who cared too much of what other people think and will think; I think differing perspectives are important and I want to give myself a chance to say my piece. That and I recognize that I lost the audience that I once had, so I doubt this will be an issue at all. It’s been 4 or what ever years, let’s just not.

Back in 2015-2016 there was a huge back and forth between three groups of people in the SE fandom. The reason why I’m not listing out the name is because I don’t want this to show up in the tags. I’d say that the three groups could be seen as quite literally the soma shippers (mostly white, demi sexual girls), lgbt centric bloggers (very kid or star oriented, very fed up with soma), and the people who were deemed as alright to soma shippers (c r ona, ste inm arie, jac k im centric people). There was a constant (and understandable) tension between the first two groups while the third was like the weird cousin that everyone in the social circles liked because they sprinkled in soma for the masses. Don’t argue with me on this-- this was literally how the fandom was in 2015 and you know it.

The main issue was that one group felt that they were being inclusive towards identities and sexualities while the other felt that they were not. I remember that one of the arguments was that soma WAS an LGBT ship because people headcanonned the members to be demisexual. However, the other side of the argument was that it wasn’t good representation of a gay pairing. Now that we can look back at this 5 years later, I have two things to say: 1, I now very much understand why the argument broke out because of how heated the topic is, and I do believe that I lean more towards the “other side” now that I’m not wearing rose tinted glasses, but 2, I need to make it clear that demi people are lgbt, but a headcanon is not fact and ship diversity was the main question at hand, not the ship itself. This argument lasted for weeks, destroyed my friendships, and no matter what I felt I did in the moment (which was to mend the fandom), it was taken as an insult.

(Side note: Somethings that I remember was being in someone’s DM’s to encourage them to participate in the large fandom events more, but once they twisted my intentions and rallied their friends, I became their enemy. I also became the mods’ enemy but then again, when was I not? I was made fun of for saying “queergender,” a term that is now currently being widely used, quite openly by someone I wanted desperately to be friends with. I was outwardly mocked by popular users who only apologized behind closed doors but didn’t bother to clear things up with their followers. Adults who were in their 30s quite literally attacked a 19 year old. It was in that moment that I realized I would never become friends with either side, and not because I didn’t want to.)

I bring this up because as I begun to stop writing soma fics, I also begun to see and understand why people moved away from it. It wasn’t the ship itself, it was the culture surrounding it. However, on tumblr we have the ability to connect intensely with the content we produce. Therefore, the ship itself began to be connected with the shippers and their attitudes towards outside pairings-- that attitude being tied into elitism.

I say this with every ounce of love I can because I once had the exact same mannerism. When you become so tied into one pairing to the point where other ships appear to threaten the existence of it and you react negatively towards it, you become rancid. The popular tag “everything is soma” takes a very dark turn. Even if readers consume another pairing’s work, they will be obliged to say “I ship soma more BUT that was cute.” They will read an entirely different topic and wonder why soma wasn’t inserted into it in the background. They will reject pairings that separate the two as if breaking them up is sin and an insult.

The only reason why I stopped writing my soma fics in 2016 was because I saw a real need to fill in the gaps of other pairings. I took what people were saying to heart and I wanted to change my ways and my perceptions. I saw the animosity of the ship culture and rejected it. I wanted to use what little influence I had to make the fandom just a bit more accepting. In 2016, I don’t think the fandom was ready for it. In 2017, they still weren’t ready for it. In 2020, I see hope, but I wonder sometimes if it’s masqueraded pity because of previous treatment.

In the middle of it all, I went from being the soma angst master to becoming the weird person everyone once knew. I was the friend that people excluded from group chats and I just “wasn’t the same.” Cliques grew extremely large in power in 2017 and exclusion hurt like a bitch.

The straw that broke the camel’s back and completely shut me down was in 2017 when I was graduating as a bachelor. There was a fandom event that I decided to go all in to. For context, there used to be a huge debate on how many times a person should enter in an event, but in my mind, the more exposure the better. My graduation and the event took place at the exact same time, which was cool, but what hurt me was what happened after.

I was lucky enough to be accepted into field school (when you travel to do outdoor excavating) for my major. I’m an anthropologist-- it was an honor. I didn’t plan in advance for it, and if anything, I thought that I would be committed completely to the events and my 5 or what ever entries at the time. I’ve always prided myself in communicating with others, so I made sure to let my partners in the event know what was going on. I was so excited to be going on my first ever excavation and no one at the time said anything otherwise, in fact, they all seemed incredibly supportive. 

What I didn’t know was that I would be called out by name in the event feedback response by one person who felt that I didn’t take the event seriously enough and that I should’ve prioritized my time accordingly. Two of the mods let me know because it referred to me directly, though the name of the submitter was not included. It was not only a slap in the face, but a dumbfound moment that reminded me that wow, fandom content really is someone’s life out there. My enforced silence because of lack of internet in the woods actually upset someone and made them believe that I wronged them, because I put my real life ambitions first before a fandom event.

It was then when I woke up and I remember very clearly thinking to myself: I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to treat my fandom life seriously. I want to participate in fandom for fun, not out of duty. I don’t want to prioritize this life because in the end, if I am hated for putting my work and education first, then I don’t want it.

(For context, I suspect that it was the same person who made a 200 note call out on me during the fandom tension. I respected this person immensely, but I also treated them like the flawed person I believe everyone is. I’m sure because of this, I’m pretty much trash in their eyes, which is totally fine. They have really cute cats so they can’t be all too bad. Don’t look into it too deeply.)

Once my month long field school was up, I was already used to not being on the internet or any of my social media accounts. I didn’t play my mobile games for a month. I didn’t read the news for a month. It was like going cold turkey on the internet, which reshaped my habits entirely. The only time that I had online within that time span was during the weekend, but I spent my time working on my projects and catching up with friends instead of being on apps.

I was also completely fed up with tumblr’s mobile app at the time, so one by one, I deleted my apps. Good bye to tumblr, snapchat, what little I used of instagram, twitter, everything. The only thing I kept was facebook, which was because it is the main platform that I use to message my boyfriend. That meant that any friends I retained from the fandom (who I still contact now) were also friends who had the chance to add me on facebook.

This was the cause of my 2 or 3 year hiatus on tumblr, and therefore the fandom. I occasionally checked back every 6 months to do a few fandom events, but I have several unopened messages and notifications that I haven’t been able to get to. I open my instagram for a few days once a year, and I only go onto twitter if my friends tell me (through facebook) that they dm’d me a post there.

When I left my online persona behind, I quickly strengthened my in person connections. New drama that erupted every other day became replaced with starbucks and boba runs. Reality TV shows replaced fanfiction. Text messages replaced the tumblr activity feed (which still doesn’t work on mobile BTW). I study at cafes unironically with friends instead of typing alone in my room. Overall, it opened my world considerably.

I still like making fun of myself and I try not to take myself seriously. I still make self depreciative memes to send to friends but then double up with kermit heart pics. I’m still a plot bunny, I still write my fics, I still watch my anime, I still play video games, I still sleep at 4am, I still take my depression medication, I still love potatoes, I still use my voice for people who can’t find theirs yet. But I think I’m in a much healthier mindset now, even if I still make stupid shifty posts calling out bad behavior.

Nowadays, I’m working on my Master’s degree in secret. My parents don’t know about it because my mom doesn’t like that I want to go out and do unladylike things like getting an education. I tutor kiddos and I’m really good with younger children, but I’m not going to do anything with kids because I just don’t want to. Instead, I want to work at an archive or a museum to bring my library interests and my anthropology background together. If I had my dream job, I would be a marine archaeologist; however I love my boyfriend of 8 years whom you probably all remember and I really came to terms with my grandeur dreams. I’m extremely happy with living in a small town with loved ones now, and I don’t need to move somewhere far away from my parents to be content. It’s a huge realization.

From 2018 to 2020 I got into actual drama in person while I was job hunting. Adult people suck and honestly it’s kind of embarrassing how ill equipped some people are. Even so, I currently work in middle schools as a media assistant. One of those realms is the library, and honestly it’s like fulfilling a prophecy. As much as I love the social aspect, public schools are an absolute train wreck.

I’m going to wrap this up now. This post is meant to help me close the past and move forward because the fandom culture feels different now. Things from several years ago don’t need to resurface. I want to enjoy my life fully, and fandom life is one of those aspects that I truly did enjoy. I’m going to keep using my voice and act like a fool, but I’m also not going to be losing sleep because of this. People are going to talk about you no matter what, whether positively or negatively, and it’s important to not take it personally.

Idk, go enjoy yourselves. Do things for yourself. It’s more fun that way.

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

31+ Totally Free Resources For Living with Celiac Disease

New blog post! I LOVE finding new resources that help people living with celiac disease...and I LOVE those resources even more when they're free! Going gluten free after a celiac disease diagnosis can be expensive since you often need to re-stock your pantry with gluten free foods and have medical bills to pay.

So I thought I'd round up 31+ resources that are totally FREE and can help anyone living with celiac disease! If you've recently received a celiac diagnosis, I hope this list provides you with valuable tools to make your transition to a gluten free diet even easier. And if you've lived with celiac disease for years, I hope this list helps you discover some new gluten free resources to take advantage of!

31+ TOTALLY FREE RESOURCES TO HELP ANYONE LIVING WITH CELIAC DISEASE:

1. Eat Out using Find Me Gluten Free. 

This app makes life SO much easier when you want to eat out but need to adhere to a gluten free diet. You can enter an address or use your current location and find reviews and menus of nearby restaurants with gluten free options.

2. Save Money. 

Ibotta is a money-saving app that lets you submit photographs of your receipts and get a small amount of cash back on certain products. Tons of stores participate in Ibotta, ranging from Walmart to Home Depot to Safeway, so you can get money back on more than just groceries. The cash-back products also change monthly, and I often see cash-back deals on gluten free brands like Bob's Red Mill and Enjoy Life Foods. If you want to give Ibotta a try, sign up using my referral code "qiarlqs" or by clicking this link -> Save Money With Ibotta, and you can earn a $10 welcome bonus.

3. When You Need a Laugh.

If you've yet to discover Gluten Free Street Gang on Instagram, change that ASAP. This Instagram profile always makes me laugh and hits home about many aspects of a gluten free diet.

4. Find New Gluten Free Foods.

Celiac and the Beast is a renowned gluten free blogger in the industry for MANY reasons...but I especially love that she regularly shares some of the latest and greatest gluten free products to hit the market.

5. Get a BS-Free Perspective on Celiac Life.

Gluten Dude and all of his posts always say it like it is, whether he's calling out someone for harming the celiac community or offering advice to one of his many emailers.

6. Learn More About Celiac Disease and Eating Gluten Free.

MI Gluten Free Gal is another one of my favorite gluten free bloggers because not only does she share delicious recipes, but she also regularly shares graphics and posts on important topics for the celiac community, such as how to get a proper celiac disease diagnosis.

7. Cook Gluten Free Like a Pro.

There are plenty of amazing gluten free bloggers sharing equally amazing gluten free recipes, but a few of my favorite resources include:

Vegetarian Mamma

Mama Knows Gluten Free

My Gluten-Free Kitchen

8. Make New Friends

Spokin is another phone app allows you to look for gluten free (and allergy friendly) restaurants nearby, but it also gives users access to product reviews, allergy friendly travel guides and educational articles. Spokin is a social networking app to some extent, too, as you can follow other people after you’ve set up your own account

9. Find Back-To-School Tips.

Are you the parent of a child with celiac disease or do you have celiac disease and you're going to school? Then check out this extensive list of back-to-school resources from the National Celiac Association. And if you're a college student with celiac disease (or you're about to head to college), I highly recommend my thorough post about being gluten free in college!

10. Grocery Shop Like a Master.

One of the most popular gluten free apps on iTunes is The Gluten Free Scanner, which lets you scan a product’s barcode and receive a quick report on whether it’s gluten free or not.

I personally prefer scanning product labels myself because I know technology - just like people - can make mistakes. As a result, I’d encourage you to read a product’s ingredient labels yourself even if The Gluten Free Scanner says the product is gluten free. However, especially if you’re newly diagnosed and still wondering, "What is gluten anyway?", this free scanner could make shopping for gluten free products a lot quicker, easier and less stressful.

11. Stay Up-To-Date.

Beyond Celiac is another awesome celiac disease organization that provides plenty of gluten free recipes, tips on living with celiac disease and news updates.

12. Access Gluten Free Food in a Time of Need.

The Food Equality Initiative is a new organization to me, but I love their mission of making gluten free food (and food free from other allergens) more accessible to everyone. They also provide access to a gluten free food pantry to those in need.

13. Connect with Fellow Gluten Free Teens.

Generation GF is an AMAZING program that provides a variety of resources to gluten free kids and teens, including educational resources, local support groups and virtual chats that allow gluten free teens to connect even if they don't live in the same area.

The Gluten Free Intolerance Group is also who hosts the GF Teen Summit!

14. Get Safety Alerts.

The Gluten-Free Certification Organization (GFCO) provide independent verification of gluten free products, and their symbol indicates that a product meets the strictest of gluten free standards. But I also love that they regularly release safety alerts on gluten free products.

15. Meet Up with Other Gluten Free Folks.

Search for the local gluten-free community in your area, or start a group of your own, on Meetup.com.

16. Learn about Research on a Cure for Celiac Disease.

The University of Chicago Celiac Disease Center is on a mission to find a cure for celiac disease, and you can learn more about their work here.

17. Avoid the Top 10 Allergens.

Allergy Eats is another phone app that is very similar to Find Me Gluten Free except you can search for restaurants free of any of the top 10 allergens instead of just gluten. People can leave ratings and reviews, which, at least in my experience, makes eating out gluten free or allergy friendly a lot easier (and less scary) since you don't feel like you're making as "blind" of a restaurant choice.

18. Read Honest, Helpful Advice.

The information you can find on Reddit's gluten free channel - /r/GlutenFree - isn't always accurate or appropriate for all readers. However, you can find plenty of honest, helpful advice.

19. Download Gluten Free Restaurant Cards.

Make traveling a little easier with gluten free restaurant cards you can download in different languages.

20. Find the Best Gluten Free Products.

As regular readers know, I share gluten free product reviews pretty often on my blog and social media channels. But if you're looking for the best gluten free products to buy when you're just going gluten free, this post should definitely be on your reading list!

21. Kick Back with a Magazine.

It's amazing how many gluten-free-related magazines there are available nowadays. If you're looking for some reading material, you might look into:

Allergic Living

Delight Gluten Free

GFF Magazine

Gluten-Free Living

Gluten Free & More (formerly Living Without)

Simply Gluten Free

22. Save Money on Taxes.

Did you know you can receive tax deductions for gluten free food if you have celiac disease? Learn more here!

23. My blog and all my social media channels :)

As always, I'm here to offer as much support and education as I can. I may not always respond right away, but for the quickest response, DM me on Instagram.

My Goal With Sharing These Resources on Living With Celiac Disease 

Depending on where you are in your celiac journey, you may be familiar with many of the gluten free resources on this list. But I hope even one of these links helps you feel less alone with celiac disease, less frustrated with a gluten free diet or more hopeful in how enjoyable living with celiac disease can be! Are there any other resources you would add to this list? Let me know in the comments! via Blogger https://ift.tt/35e79WS

[gwentoryfics]

I'm feeling really unconfident about my writing at the moment, so I thought I could turn to you for help. you've probably dealt with similar feelings, so would you mind letting me know how you deal with it when you feel like you arent living up to your own expectations? I'm struggling with that to the point that its keeping me from writing altogether

okay i love this question and i have a million things to say about it. i’m gonna throw down a 'keep reading’ button since i have a feeling this may take up quite a bit of space lol

there are two things i want to talk about in regards to this topic: expectations (like you mentioned) and comparisons. i think a lot of stress, self-doubt, and lack of confidence stems from those two things - the expectations we have about our work, and the way we feel about our work compared to those we admire.

when i was in college, i took a class called spirituality & empowerment. it dealt mostly with the topic of finding peace through mastering your mindset. it felt pretty hokey at the time and i didn’t fully commit to the meditation practices and everything else we did, but in the years since taking the class i’ve had a lot of time to reflect on one of the main teachings: you cannot find peace and happiness as long as expectations exist.

to apply this directly to writing:

if you have high expectations for your quality of writing, you will inevitably be disappointed. you are your own worst critic and you will always find flaws with your writing. if perfection is your goal, you will never reach it, and you will forever be frustrated with your perceived inability to write “well.”

completely eliminating expectations from your life is incredibly difficult, if not practically impossible. i’m certainly guilty of still setting expectations for myself. but there are ways to lessen and change those expectations into something more manageable, to actually give yourself a chance at writing something you’ll be happy with.

1. expect that your first draft will be shitty. give yourself permission to write something terrible. don’t stress about sentence structure or word choice - just throw something onto the page and let it be god awful. letting yourself have that shitty first draft releases a lot of the burden to write well and instead lets you focus on just getting the main plot points down. when you stop yourself from analyzing each word choice you make, you open yourself up to more creative thinking - and more possibilities to enhance the plot.

2. expect that your second draft may not be much better. writing is a process and it takes time - much of which is spent rewriting, revising, and editing.

3. expect that your final product will not be perfect. expect that it will instead be “good enough.” because you could spend endless hours making changes to it and still never be satisfied. there is absolutely nothing wrong with “good enough.”

4. expect that even if you set all of these expectations, you still may not be happy with the end result. and that’s okay. i try to set these expectations for myself, and i still am not thrilled with hot for teacher. i think i still have a lot of areas to improve, and there are also some pretty glaring mistakes i’ve made that i might have caught if i had spent more time revising. (specifically issues with wooseok’s suspension - 1. there’s no real point to it, since there’s no plot benefit to him being kept from r&b ensemble. it would have made more sense with my original plot ideas, but i changed some things around and now it doesn’t really matter. and 2. i wrote that he was specifically suspended from extracurricular activities, and r&b ensemble isn’t even an extracurricular! it’s a class that he’s getting credit for!! lol that was just a huge thing that i missed, but now it’s part of the story and i just have to deal with it.)

5. expect that you may not get any response when you post. it’s impossible to control other peoples’ reactions to your writing and you’re only going to stress yourself out more by putting so much importance on something that is out of your control. trust me, i understand how encouraging it is to get a like, a reblog, or even an ask. ideally, if you don’t expect that response, you won’t be disappointed when you don’t get one (but that’s a really difficult expectation to have). to use myself as an example again - i didn’t expect any sort of response when i posted the first part of hft. i had just started up a new blog and had 0 followers (i think that probably helped lol) so i didn’t even think anyone would see it. but then i started getting asks about it, which was awesome! it was incredibly validating and encouraging. but now when i post updates, i expect those asks to come in. and if i don’t get any right away, i start to think it was a flop or people aren’t interested in my story anymore. i basically put all of my validation into receiving asks, which is super stressful. i haven’t totally figured out how to break free of that. just know that you’re not alone in wanting a positive outcome.

basically, the takeaway from those five points is that low/no expectations give you a higher chance of feeling satisfied. by expecting the least, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to 1. be satisfied with any outcome, and 2. be pleasantly surprised by a positive outcome. again, this is a really difficult thing to do, and i’m not sure that anyone is really capable of completely nixing their expectations lol but it’s something to think about at least. consider what expectations you’re setting for yourself specifically, and then try to think of a way that you can flip it into something more positive.

the next thing is comparisons. we’ve all heard time and time again that it is detrimental to compare yourself to others. it’s so easy to read other writers’ works and say to yourself, “my writing is not/will never be this beautiful/creative/intriguing/whatever adjective you prefer.” 

honestly, yeah, you’re right. your writing will never be like theirs. because your writing is unique to you, just as that writer’s work is unique to them. so instead of comparing your work to someone else’s, compare it to your own.

how does this story compare to one you wrote a year ago? how does this draft compare to an earlier draft? are you seeing improvements? if not, where could you focus on growth? take time to analyze your own writing, because the most important thing is that you’re always growing as an artist. 

and of course, it’s totally fine (encouraged, even!) to take inspiration from writers that you love! whenever i feel stuck, i re-read some of my favorite fics to see how other writers handle similar situations. but no matter what inspiration you take, remember to make it into something that is your own.

now when it comes to building confidence in your writing, approach writing like you would a performance (easy analogy for me to make since i’m a musician). you wouldn’t jump on stage unprepared - you would take time to practice your song/dance/performance. the more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll be, and the more confident you’ll feel going into the performance.

so think of each step of your writing process as practice. the more time you spend working on your work, the more comfortable and confident you’ll be with it, and the easier it’ll be for you to share. 

but again, know when enough is enough. don’t spend the next two years working on a 5k fic. be comfortable with your “good enough” stopping point and move on to the next big thing!

lacking confidence in your writing is a really difficult thing to overcome. and i’m not even sure that it can totally be conquered. i’m always nervous to post new parts of hft, and i constantly question if i’m making the right choices regarding character decisions, word usage, and plot points.

i want to leave you with one last thing. i forget who wrote it, but i think i read somewhere about the idea that there is no such thing as bad writing - only unfinished writing. so don’t get stuck thinking that your writing is simply bad. it’s just a work in progress! the key is to recognize when something isn’t as good as it could be, and look at it as an opportunity for improvement instead of a failure. 

you’re approaching your work with a critical eye, and that means you’re already headed in the right direction! you’re willing to acknowledge that your writing may be lacking in some areas. now you just need to have a little faith in your abilities. 

if it counts for anything, i believe in you.

i know this is literally an essay and i apologize for such a lengthy response, but i really hope that this can be at least a little helpful. remember that i’m always here to give you a boost and/or advice when you need it. as a fellow writer, i want to encourage you to keep trying even when things get hard, and to recognize the strengths that you already have. 💕

[princeyitz]

[ loner | family oriented | lazy ]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG why r there so many questions </3

@viiavi​ tagged me(and mayb someone else??? i dont know tumblr notifs are awful)

uhhhmmm i tag @ratboysims​ @felicitum​ @bullsim​ @keysims​ @bratsims​ and uhhmmmmm any1 else that wants to do it just say i tag u

also here’s a bad edit of my simselfs outfit its cute and basically what i wear everyday gotta wear those nikes get some good ass arch support u feel me

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? byrd

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? byrdie, b

3. BIRTHDAY? june 3rd babey

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? harry potter

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye s

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? i dont think i have one. picking faves for literature has always been hard for me

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? i listen 2 podcasts

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? ummm dark chocolate or mango

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? awesome

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? thank you next look its a good song ok

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? ridiculous but how my mom says it like a harry potter spell

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? ummmm something by halsey i think

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? im binge watching greys anatomy so that i guess but also my fave show of all time stargate

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? moana

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yea

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? failure

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i give good cuddles

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i have no patience and i worry too much

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? yes(dogs)

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yes! we’re getting married next october :-)

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? no responsibilities!!! no bills!!!! also my moms cooking

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? her name is lauren but also my fiance and my dog

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? dark green

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my fam, my fiance, my dogs, my close friends

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my fiance 100%

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? my parents i worry about their health and also my sister bc she’s in a new relationship

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? my sisters dog just had puppies so im excited to see them

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm rn sims

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? probably rugrats and also x files

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my dad

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? hell yes big time

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? well i still cant drive so like. driving i guess

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?uhhh behind i hate when others take pics of me lol

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? writing and simblr i guess

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? actually i think it was the adventure zone graphic novel does that count

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? the crimes of grindelwald

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i can sing

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? owls

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i feel like im on the spot ummmmm @felicitum @keysims @smart--milk @surreysimmer @hesitantpixels

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? u ever seen heroes? remember how peter was like a sponge well i wish i could do that but with like, normal knowledge/skills. like if i met someone who was a carpenter or dr i could shake their hand and i knew everything they did about that and could learn new languages that way too. i wanna b a sponge

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my bed w my fiance and dogs in a cuddle pile

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? when we ask blu if she’s a sleepy baby and she tilts her head

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? none bitch

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? water all day every day im a camel hi

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? uhhh probably recently at work

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? as i get older yes

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? when people talk down to me because of my identity or age

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yea!! the last one we went to was p!nk im pretty sure

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? no

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cardiologist

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? hmmmmmmmm probs harry potter tbh

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? money!!!!

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? yes and no

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yup!!! i dont sing as often as i used to tho its sad

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? no

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? i really love big bear and catalina island

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? doesnt really matter as long as its not a big city and relatively close to family

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? we have 2 doggos

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? tbh i am a mix of both now, tho i used to be a night owl

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunset

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no :-)

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds sometimes headphones hurt my ears esp bc i always wear glasses

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yes and im getting war flashbacks

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? pretty much anything besides hardcore rap, country, and religious music, also nothing too poppy

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? probs my mama

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? ye

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when they only brew decaf at work

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? both

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? i really loved english

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? i have two brothers and two sisters

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? flowers for my mother in law

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′7″

75. CAN YOU COOK? yes

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? coffee, purple flowers, the lil potbellies that all puppies have

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? decaf coffee, peas, when people say my name wrong

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uhhh i guess just bc thats who im around more

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? gay af my dudes

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? i live in southern california

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my mom i think

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? a while ago 

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? garrett watts is fun

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? sure

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? digit it saves me money

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? im super close with my parents and relatively close w my fiances parents as well

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? hmmm probs middle eastern

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? seattle

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? lmao no

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? both but i tend to lean more towards the ocean

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? not at all im a chicken

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nope

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? y...es

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? n o?

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when i am wrong lol i dont care too much about being right

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest 100%

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? trust your instincts

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? yes

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? hufflepuff

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? sometimes

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? v big introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? no

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? kind of

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? pick it up and return it to its owner

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? yes but they have to believe in it too

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? yes but u cant tell nobody knows ok thanks

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yeah they’re cool

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? my ears and my septum

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? sam carter from stargate shes smart

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yeah i have 10 i think

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? opening up to people

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? 110% yes

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? yeah i want 5 but i dont think i can afford that many someone start a gofundme for my future babeys

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my best friend

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? i told my middle school crush that i liked her and then she told everyone and thats the story of how i repressed me sexuality until i was 20

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? many times

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yes but carefully planned and well thought out adventures where i have a checklist and a binder of all the information i need listen i am v anxious everything is scary

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? when i was a baby i was on the news lmao

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 25

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? to thine own self be true wow super lame and cliche thanks im tired is this done yet

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i dont have much of a sweet tooth

[wondroussimmer-blog]

GET TO KNOW ME-

Basically, no one actually tagged me in this, but I thought i’d give it a go anyway seeing as this is a new blog and you guys can get to now me a bit, so I tag anyone who sees this and also wants to have a go...

________________________________________________________________

1. What is your full name? I’m not putting my last name on here, but my first name is Maja (Miya) 2. What is your nickname? I don’t really have one 3. Birthday? January 1st 4. What is your favourite book series? I don’t really read book series’ 5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Not 100% sure, I don’t believe in the sort of ghosts you see in films, but I think I believe our loved ones stay with us in some way. As for aliens, idk, we can’t be the only life but idk.  6. Who is your favourite author? I find the fault in our stars quite overrated, but i’d say John Green because some of his others are my favourites! 7. What is your favourite radio station? BBC Radio 1 8. What is your favourite flavour of anything? this is such a weird question, how can you have a favourite flavour for everything? but if it’s sweet, definitely strawberry! 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Again, weird question, but i use so many words for this, my most used are probably lovely and amazing 10. What is your current favourite song? this changes alll the time, but right this minute it’s probably sunflower by post malone and swae lee 11. What is your favourite word? is this a thing? 12. What was the last song you listened to? vacation by hippo campus 13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? big mouth, orphan black, queer eye, dexter 14. What is your favourite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? the breakfast club or mean girls probably 15. Do you play video games? only the sims 16. What is your biggest fear? probably the death of people close to me, and in the future not being able to have children 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? probably that i’m a friendly person  18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? i’m v insecure 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? DOGS... always dogs! 20. What is your favourite season? autumn/winter 21. Are you in a relationship? yes 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? having way more friends and barely any responsibilities 23. Who is your best friend? my boyfriend 24. What is your eye colour? blue 25. What is your hair colour? brown 26. Who is someone you love? my boyfriend and family 27. Who is someone you trust? my boyfriend and closest family 28. Who is someone you think about often? okay wow, so much variety in these answers but the same as the previous two answers 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? christmas and my birthday 30. What is your biggest obsession? probably sims 31. What was your favourite TV show as a child? Probably Tracy beaker or that’s so raven  32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? my boyfriend 33. Are you superstitious? only slightly 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? cracking knuckles, moths (but only indoors), realistic looking mannequins and gas masks... so not much 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind, every single time 36. What is your favourite hobby? playing sims, graphic designing, video editing 37. What was the last book you read? The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks 38. What was the last movie you watched? Muppet’s Christmas Carol 39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? I play a bit of guitar and can play the mr bean theme song on piano if that counts 40. What is your favourite animal? dogs 41. What are your top 5 favourite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I definitely have more than 5  42. What superpower do you wish you had? be able to teleport and go invisible  43. When and where do you feel most at peace? probably at home with my boyfriend 44. What makes you smile? sorry if this is becoming a boring answer... but my boyfriend! also my dog :) 45. What sports do you play, if any? I don’t at the moment, but I have done tennis, dance (ballet, tap and modern), swimming, karate, speed skating and netball 46. What is your favourite drink? water... how boring ik 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Last month, I made my boyfriend a scrap book as one of my boyfriend’s presents for our anniversary and wrote some letters as part of it  48. Are you afraid of heights? not if it’s a secure height 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? I have wayyy too many and so many grammatical ones, I absolutely hate when people incorrectly use was and were, so if someone said ‘we was going’, I think it’s quite an essex thing but I hateeee it, I can’t stand bad grammar, but also slow walkers, people who walk through the door without looking behind them to hold the door open for people behind, other drivers not indicating, people that have to be louder than everyone else, people that chew with their mouths open... basically I have a lot and this list could go on and on and on 50. Have you ever been to a concert? I’ve seen all time low, the 1975, imagine dragons, sunset sons, ed sheeran and paramore in concert so far and i’m seeing panic! at the disco in march which i’m MEGA excited about!!! 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? vegetarian 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? This would change all the time, it went from radio dj, to dancer, to teacher when I was really young, then architect when I was a teenager, and now it’s clinical psychologist which i’m slowly working towards 53. What fictional world would you like to live in? I’ve not got a clue 54. What is something you worry about? EVERYTHING! I get a lot of social anxiety, so basically whenever i’m out of the house i’m worrying about absolutely everything and it’s the worst and gets me super down, so yeah, love that 55. Are you scared of the dark? okay so I don’t like leaving the dark, i’m fine being in the dark but I hate when i’m home alone and have to turn the lights off in the living room, kitchen and hall to go to bed... if that makes sense 56. Do you like to sing? i’m someone that, at home, is constantly singing, and when it’s only my boyfriend around, if one of us says a sentence that can in some way relate to a song, i’ll immediately sing it, but I suck so I won’t ever sing in public 57. Have you ever skipped school? in school I faked being ill a few times to get off of school, but in uni i’ve skipped way too many lectures over the past 3 years 58. What is your favourite place on the planet? I absolutely adore Spain, but also Belgrade (i’m half Serbian) 59. Where would you like to live? If not my current home town, i’d love to one day live somewhere like Norway or Sweden 60. Do you have any pets? yep, i’ve got a french bulldog 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? I wake up pretty early, but I hate to start the day early 62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunsets. 63. Do you know how to drive? Yep 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? the sound of headphones but I normally use earbuds 65. Have you ever had braces? nope, thank god 66. What is your favourite genre of music? this really ranges from charts, to indie rock, to ‘former emo kid’, to early 2000s r&b, to musical theatre 67. Who is your hero? probably my boyfriend 68. Do you read comic books? no 69. What makes you the most angry? as we’ve already gathered, I have a lot of pet peeves, so a lot! 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?a real book! 71. What is your favourite subject in school? I currently study psychology which has been my favourite subject since A levels, but during GCSEs I enjoyed maths  72. Do you have any siblings? 1 younger brother 73. What was the last thing you bought? some christmas presents for my boyfriend’s cousins 74. How tall are you? 5ft4 75. Can you cook? yes 76. What are three things that you love? spending time with people I love, travelling, collecting photos  77. What are three things that you hate? busy places, cheats, confrontation 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? I actually barely have any so this is kind of hard to answer 79. What is your sexual orientation? straight 80. Where do you currently live? England 81. Who was the last person you texted? my mum 82. When was the last time you cried? I’m not actually sure, which is funny because I cry all the time and super easily 83. Who is your favourite YouTuber? I have so many: in terms of sims: lilsimsie, urbansims, sophsims, simkim, plumbella, in terms of lifestyle: louise pentland, in terms of fashion and beauty: samantha maria, tati westbrook, busybee carys, patricia bright, antonio garza, and others: shane dawson, sarah baska, kendall rae, jaackmaate, and loads more! basically, if i’m not on tumblr, i’m on youtube, if i’m not on youtube i’m playing sims, and if i’m not on sims i’m on tumblr... 84. Do you like to take selfies? rarely 85. What is your favourite app? any social media  86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? fab 87. What is your favourite foreign accent? Australian and Scottish 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? I have so many but I won’t bore you with another long list, so just a few: Sweden, South Africa, Iceland and Canada 89. What is your favourite number? 1 90. Can you juggle? no 91. Are you religious? I was baptised but don’t really consider myself religious 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? both as interesting as the other 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not really 94. Are you allergic to anything? no 95. Can you curl your tongue? yep, one of my weird ‘party tricks’ is I can actually curl it 180 degrees 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? not as often as I should 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? probably the forest 99. What is your favourite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?my dad probably gives the best life advice but there’s too much to put here   100. Are you a good liar? It depends 101. What is your Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff 102. Do you talk to yourself? All the time 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I N T R O V E R T, i’m so introverted to the point I hate it but seriously struggle to change it 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no but I have in the past 105. Do you believe in second chances? it depends 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Hand it in 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? It depends 108. Are you ticklish? VERY 109. Have you ever been on a plane? manyyyy times 110. Do you have any piercings? nope, I have but not anymore 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? no idea  112. Do you have any tattoos? nope 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? I’m really not sure 114. Do you believe in karma? to an extent, but at the same time bad things seem to happen to good people, sooooo 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? neither 116. Do you want children? yes 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my cousin 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? omg my whole life is filled with embarrassing memories that I seem to always remember at the most inconvenient times or when i’m about to go to sleep that just haunt me out of nowhere...fun 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yes 120. What colour are most of you clothes? black or white 121. Do you like adventures? yep 122. Have you ever been on TV? no 123. How old are you? 20 - nearly 21 124. What is your favourite quote? not really sure. 125. Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods? sweet

[topicprinter]

Hey all,Just wanted to add a little preface to this post with some context. My colleague James just wrote a massive piece detailing everything we did to drive a ton of sales from a recent webinar.Unfortunately, James is a big-time lurker, and doesn't have the karma to share it with you. But I do!I've read through this a few times myself and I think he's done a really impressive job in giving you a look behind the scenes when it comes to our webinar strategy.I hope you find this useful! And please, feel free to reach out to me here or on social (not sure if I'm allowed to post it, so I'll hold off) if you have any questions about running your own webinars.P.S. There a quite a few (useful!) images in this article. If you don't already have RES, I'd recommend you go get it. :-)So this is the closest thing I've ever had to something worthwhile to put in this community.I'm head of inbound marketing for a tech startup in Vancouver, Canada, and 4 weeks ago our team met to discuss how we planned to meet our growth goals for Q4.One of the main things we talked about was webinars.I've always enjoyed the sound of my own voice, so I thought I'd give it a go.The webinar we ran, after a lot of trial and error, has driven more than 11k in sales, and I wanted to share how we did it. Not sure if /r/Entrepreneur will take the whole piece, so I may have to link at the bottom.Basically, this covers everything we did in the 4 weeks before going live with my webinar, "How to Increase Sales This Black Friday & Cyber Monday."4 weeks before the webinarWe started with a brainstorming session. Here's the questions we asked:1. What will our target market be interested in learning more about?- A webinar on Justin Bieber may get people to register, but those people wouldn't be particularly interested in buying your email software after the fact.2. What subject is related enough to your business that an offer related to it would be desirable?- Your target market may care about sales optimization, but if your business sells Wordpress themes, your post-webinar offer won't get a lot of interest.3. What do I know about? What am I a genuine expert in?- This one goes without saying. You are the primary reason people register. You need to have a demonstrable expertise in your webinar's subject matter to get them in the door.4. Can this topic be visually-represented? Does it have visual elements?- You talking without a slidedeck or screen capture gets boring fast. Choose a topic which engages your attendees visually.5. Will this topic stand out from the crowd in some way?- You're not the only business or marketer running webinars. Tie your topic into a current event, or put a spin on it (original research, perhaps) which helps you stand out from competitors.After throwing a bunch of ideas up on the board, we landed on one which we felt ticked all these boxes: Black Friday sales strategies: timely, interesting to our target market, and delivering strategies which attendees wouldn't have seen before.And, as important as any of those, this topic gives Wishpond the opportunity to show off the value of our software to prospective customers.The next step was planning:For project management, we use Asana. It allows us to see exactly who's responsible for each task, when that task is due, and (most importantly) to leave little notes for each other - some of which are even relevant to the task!Here's what the Black Friday webinar plan looked like:https://www.wishpond.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2018/10/Asana-plan.pngThis calendar dictated our responsibilities for the next few weeks.At this point the Wishpond marketing team separated to divide and conquer.Takeaway:Dividing and conquering is the only way to create a complete webinar campaign. There's so much to do. Get your team together and assign responsibilities, and use Asana (or a similar project management tool) to organize it all.3 Weeks Before Going LiveHere's what we needed to accomplish three weeks out:Step 1: Complete the webinar landing page (needs to be done before we can start sending traffic)Step 2: Send a mailout to existing contactsStep 3: Research and decide on a webinar platformStep 4: Complete the website additions to direct visitors to the webinar landing pageStep 5: Complete and launch Facebook AdsStep 1: Create the webinar landing pageWishpond makes the creation of landing pages easy, and we're lucky enough to work for Wishpond. So building a campaign page for our webinar was relatively straightforward.That said, it does help to have Carlo (a graphic designer before I stole him for the marketing team) on hand…Here's the page he designed:https://www.wishpond.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2018/10/webinar-landing-page.pngThere are a few essentials here, which we made sure to include:The form: You should collect exactly the information you need, and nothing more. More fields will reduce conversion rate. Fewer fields, and you won't be able to personalize your follow-up emails.The countdown timer: Countdown timers increase urgency, and have shown to increase webinar landing page registration rates significantly. Wishpond's editor enables you to drag-and-drop a countdown timer just like this one.The "About your Host" section: You need to prove that you, or whoever is hosting your webinar, is an expert on their subject. "Why should I listen to this person for 40 minutes?" is a pretty serious question you need to answer.The "What you'll learn" section: After all, people need to know exactly what they stand to benefit from your webinar. Don't hide this.Step 2: Send a mailout to existing contactsThis was pretty standard. It looked like this:https://www.wishpond.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2018/10/black-friday-newsletter.pngSince running this webinar, I've read more about incentivized referrals - basically, rewarding people when they share your brand or your promotion.Step 3: Research and decide on a webinar platformWe needed a webinar platform which worked well, looked great, and connected easily with our other tools.I'm part of a few marketing communities on Facebook, and a timely question from one of the other members was super helpful here:https://www.wishpond.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2018/10/webinar-software.pngDemio. It came up several timesSo we looked into it, and absolutely love the platform.It's clean, affordable and the UX is awesome. I won't wax on about it, but yeah, it's a really solid tool. Check them out.Takeaway:You're not alone. If you have a question about anything to do with setting up a webinar (or marketing in general) there are thousands of marketers willing to answer. Check out Quora and Facebook communities.Step 4: Create website additions to drive people to your landing pageThis, like the landing page, is Carlo's wheelhouse.Website additions, like popups and welcome mats, are an awesome way to drive your website traffic to register for your webinar.He created a popup for the Wishpond blog as well as a welcome mat.However, we didn't end up using the welcome mat, as we determined it could hurt our website conversion rates).TakeawayDon't be afraid to kill your darlings. Creating these website additions took Carlo about half an hour. Having a tool like Wishpond makes it super simple, which means it's okay when plans change. If he'd committed a full day to creating and coding a custom welcome mat, we would have had a harder time throwing it in the trash.Step 5: Create and launch Facebook AdsThis was a mistake.We created the ad designs and messaging, created tests and launched nine Facebook ads.Then we sat back and watched. And the cost per registrant just kept going up.We paused the campaign, created new designs and re-launched. But we couldn't make it work. When we couldn't get below $35/registrant, we had to stop.We'd driven 11 registrants for $400.At our customer value, this wasn't profitable.If we're paying $35/registrant, and only 10% of registrants book a demo after the webinar, and our demos have a 25% subscription rate, we'd need a customer value of $1,400 to make it break even. And we don't have that quite yet.TakeawayIt could be our target market (marketers are notoriously expensive), but my thoughts are that you'll get more bang for your buck if you ignore ads and, instead, get webinar registrants from your website traffic or past customers (i.e. popups and newsletter mailouts).Have you made Facebook ads work for webinars in the past? How?2 Weeks Before Going LiveTwo weeks before going live, we needed to wrap up a couple things:Step 1: Compete the slidedeckStep 2: Write the post-webinar email seriesStep 3: Write the reminder emailsStep 1: Complete the slidedeckI use Google Presentation for every presentation I do. The platform is super simple, and I love the ability to share, co-edit, and add seamless transitions.TakeawayThere are a few things to remember when building your webinar slidedeck:- Include less text than you think. Honestly, go back over your slidedeck a few times and remove text. If you need text prompts, write out notes. Don't ask your webinar attendees to read while you talk.- Add transitions. This is especially relevant between paragraphs and lists. Show only one idea at a time.- Make your images as large as possible. You never know what resolution or screen your attendees are going to be on. Don't bank on them being able to see what you're talking about. Err on the side of massive.Step 2: Write the post-webinar email seriesOnce your webinar is over, you'll need to have a strategy in place to turn registrants into customers.We've found (in other campaigns) that a 3 or 4-email series is the best way to do that.Sent automatically, a real person will get involved as soon as someone replies to the email. Other than that it's completely automatic.Here are templates similar to the three emails we wrote:Email 1: Post-webinar essential infoThank you so much for a successful webinar!Even if you didn't attend, I wanted to send you the recording/slidedeck.Exclusive to webinar registrants, I'd like to give you a [X%] discount to [Your Business] until the end of the month.If you have any questions about anything in the webinar, let me know!Email #2: Webinar follow-upWanted to make sure you received my last email?We're offering a [X%] discount exclusively to webinar attendees until the end of the month, and I didn't want you to miss out!Let me know if you have any questions! Email #3: Won't keep bothering you I won't keep bothering you, as I haven't received a response and I don't want to clutter up your inbox.I did want to send you one last thing. This [resource related to the webinar content], which can [concrete positive outcome].I'm always here if you have questions about [webinar content]!Step 3: Write the reminder emailsThe biggest barrier between a profitable webinar strategy and a failed one isn't the design of the page or the content of the webinar, it's attendance.On average, only 25-50% of your webinar registrants (those people you've worked so hard to get) will show up on the day.So I put serious time into writing 4 reminder emails:An auto-responderA "24-hours remaining" emailA "1 hour remaining" emailA "15-minutes remaining" email1. Auto-responder emailImportant webinar informationHi [First_Name]Thanks for registering for [Webinar Name]!Webinar Details:Name of WebinarDate:Time:I'm excited for the big day, and can't wait to share the strategies we've used to [achieve concrete, positive result].To make sure you don't miss it, use this link to add the webinar to your Google calendar:And be sure your friends don't miss it! Share with your network and get a free Starbucks coffee on me, to drink during the webinar! - [Link]Looking forward to it!To add "Add to Google Calendar" links to your emails, check out this url generator.2. A "24-hours remaining" email:Subject Line: Only 24 hours left!Hi [First_Name]Only 24 hours before we get rolling with [Webinar Name]!Can't wait to see you there at [time].If you haven't already, be sure to share the webinar your friends to get a free Starbucks coffee on me, to drink during the webinar! - [Link]Cheers!To send your registrants a free coffee from Starbucks (which is more than worth it, believe me), check out the Starbucks website.3. A "1 hour remaining" email:Subject Line: [Webinar Reminder]: 1 hour left to get your free coffeeHi [First_Name]We're going live with [Webinar Name] in about 55 minutes!Log in to the webinar waiting room using this link:And you still have time to earn that free Starbucks coffee by sharing this link with your friends: .Only by attending will you get my exclusive [secret strategy] which won't be in the recording!Can't wait to see you there!That's a bit of a gamble, that last sentence. Whether you do want to hold back something exclusively for attendees is entirely up to you. My recommendation would be to test it. Do you get more people to attend (and buy from you) if you do hold something back, or do you get more if you record the whole webinar and send it to all your registrants?4. A "15-minutes remaining" email:Subject Line: [Webinar Reminder]: 15 minutes leftHi thereStart settling in!We'll be going live in about 15 minutes.Grab your coffee and log in to the waiting room by clicking this link: .Can't wait to see you there!I will give you some strategies below for how you can still turn registrants into customers, even if they don't attend your webinar.Week of the WebinarThe week of the webinar was all about setup and rehearsal.We also sent another mailout to everyone who hadn't opened the previous one (didn't want to bother people who had already registered), but I've already covered that.This section will cover the essential steps you need to take the week of the webinar and on the day itself.Step 1: RehearsingI scheduled two full-length rehearsal webinars for the Monday and the Wednesday before going live on Thursday morning. I invited (of course) Carlo and Mateus, but also Ali (our CEO) and a few people from sales. I wanted insight from as many different people as possible.Rehearsal of your webinar does several essential things:Allows you to get a feeling for how long you should be talkingAllows you to record yourself, to see where you're weak and where you're strongAllows your colleagues to give notesGives you confidence in your subject matter and your webinar content Rehearsing is huge. Don't even attempt a professional webinar until you've done the entire thing (with recording) at least a couple times.Step 2: ModeratingNot only do moderators give you that extra little "this is professional" kick, they are also super helpful.My colleagues Carlo and Mateus both acted as moderators during my webinar.Moderators do a number of essential things:Moderate: As in, they kick out anyone who's spamming or trolling the comment sectionProvide relevant links: If you mention your Twitter handle, email address or a demo link, your moderators can put it in the comment section for attendees.Collate questions for the Q&A: Rather than you having to scroll through all the comments at the end of the webinar, have your moderators put all the questions in one place. Then you can answer them more smoothly.Top Tip:This is a bit cheeky, but everybody does it. If there's some information you'd really like to share with attendees but you don't want to appear too salesy, have your moderators "ask" some pointed questions as if they were attendees.For instance, in my last webinar I had a total stranger/my colleague ask "How do we book a demo, again?" as well as "What software do you recommend we use to create the website popups you showed us?"Step 3: Giving people time to arriveOnce I went live, I introduced myself and told everyone how excited I was to start the webinar.Then, and this is crucial, I gave attendees a couple minutes to arrive.My webinar started at 10am. I went live at 10:02 (intentionally) and told everyone I'd get rolling at 10:05. This gave latecomers time to enter the webinar.Have you ever turned channels to find a movie which started 10 minutes ago? You've missed the beginning, which is everything. You can spend the next 2 hours wondering "Wait, who's that guy? Is that the main character or the bad guy? What's he trying to do?" What's the chance you'll stick with that movie?Webinars are no different. A big part of keeping people to the end of your webinar is ensuring they're there when you start. Give them some time.Final thoughtsSo there you have it: the exact strategy we used for our most recent webinar."How to Get More Sales This Black Friday and Cyber Monday" drove 524 leads, 115 of them new to Wishpond. Those leads have turned into over $11,000 in sales, and the follow-up emails are still going out.I'm super happy with how this went. It was nerve-wracking and I was sweating the whole time, but it was exhilarating and fun, nonetheless.I really hope you give webinars a shot, and let me know if you do!If you want to see the original post in its fully-formatted glory, just click here: https://blog.wishpond.com/post/115675437738/guide-to-webinars

[rosedalemike]

“The Mood” Blog #9 - Farewell, Rosedale...It is time.

    This is a really tough one for me and I'm not sure where to begin. I guess I'll be blunt and say that I have been finding more than ever that it is in the best interest of my musical journey (and well being) to put Rosedale to rest and start a new chapter.

      Rosedale has meant everything to me for almost 15 years now. I've devoted the majority of my time, money, attention, and energy to Rosedale. And I don't regret any of it. I've learned so much more than I could have ever imagined about music and life and saw more of the world than most people get to see in a lifetime. I managed to actually grow Rosedale into a small business and it has made music my full time occupation. When I look at it that way, Rosedale screams success!     

     Touring has become a big part of Rosedale's agenda. Building a memorable live show, getting merch graphics and orders ready, booking shows, traveling to them, managing an intense amount of gear/production- and as I explain in my prior blogs - I don't really mind doing all the dirty work. I enjoy the challenge and it is all worth it for those magical moments where I get to see lives being changed/inspired. I love meeting fans and bands and I love that Rosedale has often been labeled a "musician's band". It's no surprise. I almost have no personal life because - for better or for worse - I love how much my work doesn't feel like work. So, evidently, I tend to write a lot of songs about the grind; the ups/downs, the pride/doubt, the dreams/memories. So that's how I'd like this farewell announcement to go. (Though, I'd like to think I'm a better songwriter than blogger.)

     Before I touch on a few of the many reasons, I'd like to clarify that this is not a re-brand/name change, nor is this me quitting music. And I don't really wanna talk about what musical ideas I have for the future just yet. There are many options that I need to figure out for myself. But I am finally 100% positive that none of them will be under the name Rosedale. Rosedale will end as Rosedale and I want this announcement to be about Rosedale. The Rosedale songs/releases will rest as Rosedale songs after this tour. They had their time and proudly resonated throughout many amazing places/ears.

     I want everyone to know sooner rather than later (even though the next chapter is nowhere near ready) because it is only fair. If you were thinking that you'll just catch this new Rosedale show the next time it rolls through town I wanna let you know there won't be a next time. And if you are over Rosedale already, chances are you haven't read this far anyway.

      I understand if this is upsetting to some. Believe me, it’s hard to just call it a day like this almost as much as it feels absolutely necessary. So before you set your Rosedale apparel a-flame and make that tattoo removal appointment, hear me out: 

Reason 1: The Unoriginal Name

     As jaded and cynical as I may sometimes come across about the ever changing music industry, one of the new musts that I can definitely understand and respect is that being unique/original is crucial. The answer to a lot of musician's uncontrollable struggles is 'over saturation'. I hear it everywhere I go. And from the seminars and conferences I've spent my time attending/downloading over the years; having an original, easily searchable name is the first step to growing your brand. (Brand; If you've been reading these blogs, you know how much I had that word.) But, ultimately, the name is the brand.      

     And not only is there over 5 other Rosedale's on Spotify, the origin of name Rosedale is nothing original; Four friends walked down a street ‘ROSEDALE AVE.’ that leads to the music store- thought it sounded cooler than their current band name. Sure, to put it that way is a total slap in the face to the legacy that Rosedale became. But it is no wonder that here I am at a stand still, personally messaging 'fans' to come to their local venue/dive bar etc. to be reminded that Rosedale is unique/original/interesting/so much more (and all the other nice things I hear from people after the set).

      I had the oportunity to go out for a long breakfast with my biggest hero the other day while I was home. He was showing me, first hand, the struggle someone not-so-technically-savvy might have finding my music on Spotify. He stoically said "you should change the name."  I knew it was a burden for a while now and that it would be a big headache to commit to, but the way he said it made me realize it was no big deal and it was definitely time. (Biggest hero = my dad)

Reason #2: What even is Rosedale even???

     Similar to Reason #1, a confusing brand is not a good brand. Side note; none of these reasons are things I just suddenly realized. They've actually been worsening burdens over the last four years. The truth is, back in November 2013 (when I was finalizing demos/new songs for Self-Titled and Again) we (as in me and my management at the time along with other industry friends) were discussing a name change/rebrand. Mostly because the infamous history of Rosedale was a bit of a confusing thing, (especially locally) and still is! 

'Is it a band? Is it just Mike? Why is it just Mike? Is Mike's last name Rosedale? Maybe his middle name is Rosedale? What happened to the members from Get Going? Is that even Mike singing on the Past Times EP/You'll Count to Ten??'

    We all felt a name change was necessary. But as we'd each listen to the new songs/demos separately on our drives home from the studio and try to brainstorm the perfect name, we couldn't help but realize that most of these songs were written about the history of Rosedale. One recurring idea was; change the name but call the album (/EP or whatever) 'ROSEDALE'.

      In the end we just kind of decided to announce/shop these new songs as a "Re-Launch" of Rosedale. New logo, new songs, new sound, new line-up, new album; same name. The underground Rosedale following seemed excited, especially with the out-of-left-field, tongue and cheek T-Swift love song being the first single out the gate. But it still left a lot of question marks to some of the new followers we were picking up at Warped Tour etc. (especially because I had these awesome, well adversed fill-in/temp members building the brand).       Slowly I was realizing that I was creating a clearer understanding, better response, respect from the venues (including Warped Tour), and much better merch sales from delivering my inevitable one-man show. But, nevertheless, still a confusing topic for even some of my most supportive fans. I am even confused - to this day - as to why my perfect fill-in members (from my hometown, to Virginia, to Indiana, to West Virginia) were not improving results/sales. But then again, we live in quite the different age for Rock N' Roll/technology.

Reason 3: Counter-Productive Shows

    This one is extremely tough to explain. Especially to my supporters. So really try to level with me on this one. I tour a lot and I love it but If you read blog #5 - Lonliness/Perception you'll get an in depth insight on the kind of sheepishness I encounter in my travels. It's a natural process; people feed off the reaction of others. I've played some mediocre/catastrophic sets to big crowds (blew out my voice in Toronto to a crowd of 200+ , laptop crashed twice in Columbus to a sold out crowd at A&R, been booted off stage/muted after two songs opening to Eve 6's supportive fans in Albuquerque) and got a way better reaction/sales/follows/likes/LIVES-CHANGED than any flawless/powerful performance to an intimate crowd of 5-15 confused attendees. The reality is, the more common is the latter. And what’s worse is the next time I invite those confused attendees out to a show; 98% of them will give me the "I'll see what I can do" which 99% of the time means "I've got better things to do".     Don't get me wrong, I'm aware people suck and I rock. And I'm still smiling up there on stage while I crush a feel-good set to 10 yawning, doubtful, distant sheep. And to the 2% of people who aren't yawning as their lives are being positively inspired; I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

     But when I start the van and drive to the next city I can't help but realize that the 98% of the shallow people that I'm not reaching (due to the empty surroundings) I'm doing myself, Rosedale, and the newly inspired a dis-service by continuing to settle for less; to play shows to crowds of under 20. That’s why I tried that Show4me.com mcgiver with the Again EP release tour. I wanted to give back to supporters and confirm that there would be at least a small crowd committed to coming out.

      If you're reading this and thinking 'who cares, keep playing for fun!' - my response is; try telling that to the venues/promoters that are giving Rosedale a home to grow my business with theirs. Luckily, many of them have been supportive/forgiving towards my sad numbers, but there are definitely some promoters/venues that 'will have to pass' on my follow-up tours through. Rosedale has always been more than a hobby to me. It is my life and my business. And any artist who is too lazy to handle the business side of things just doesn't love music as much as they think (or as much as they'd like you to believe). I'll admit, I could definitely still improve on the business side of my little DIY empire here. So let's call that the general consensus of this reason...and we can’t keep ignoring the unsearchable name conundrum.

Reason 4: No room for new/old songs

      (This one can easily be argued with many other relik bands as examples...but-) I'm STILL playing 30 minute sets (usually)... yet I have over 200 minutes of released Rosedale material! I've had to become that stage hog that pushes my 30 minute slot to 35/40 minutes just to play 20% of Rosedale's released material, just to give my few attendees almost all that they came to see. (Luckily, most of these venues' staff have also been super forgiving/supportive of this no-no).

      Some people wanna hear oldies, some people wanna hear new songs that I haven't even added to the set yet (because I don't have enough stage time anyway). And in most cities I'm not in a position to headline/play last because everyone but the few Rosedaliens will just leave after their friend's set. I've seen it too many times and I still "Turn whiter than a song in C" when it happens. Will Rosedale ever get to a headlining status World Wide? I still believe it's possible. But not if I keep spinning the tires against all these roadblocks. It is very obvious I need to take a different route to get there. So maybe Rosedale will come back down the road...but that is no longer up to me. And for the time being, it's time to move on to the next chapter. 

Reason #5: Hit Reset

      You ever work so hard on something (maybe like a school project or a video game or recipe) then realize you have to start over? Or maybe your computer crashed or the ingredients spoiled without you realizing it. That used to happen to me a lot and still does. But it bothers me less each time.

      Because then, as you're starting the process all over, you have that comforting Epiphany of improvement; 'dang, this draft is way better'. You realize that first run was a practice round and now you've got this Ol' Gunner experience to do things right and avoid the mistakes.

     I've always felt that way going into each Rosedale album/EP. After Past Times it was all about using the right mics and amps to get that polished mix for Get Going. Then for Real it was all about not over-editing and leaving in the string noise and breaths...even footsteps. Then with Self-Titled and Again I dug a lot deeper into lyrics / my personal story and really went all out with dynamics using orchestration of infinite instruments. A lot of those sessions I had to re-play/sing the songs. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by dumb technological luck. But it always came out better the next time because repetition is the father of learning.

     Anyway, you get the obvious point. But I think it is the most important one. Also, I should mention; the bigger the reset, the bigger the results. Ending Rosedale and starting something entirely fresh would be the biggest reset I've ever done. It might take a while, but if I go at it with the work ethic I've driven into Rosedale, the step-up is gonna be huge! We're talking over half my life - BOOM - RESET! Clear brand! Searchable! Productive strategizing/shows!     Working with a blank pallet could be a great advantage. I'm still the same person/artist but I have a chance to create content under a fresh....brand...damnit. Again, I don't know exactly what that brand is quite yet, but I do know for sure that it will be better and stronger than Rosedale ever was. 

    So again, don't worry, my fellow Rosedaliens (& don’t get excited, haters), I'm not throwing in the towel and I'm definitely not slowing down. I'm just being honest with everyone and keeping you in the loop. This is the victory lap. I was gonna buckle down and work on new tracks after this run anyway but I'm letting you know asap that Rosedale (and these songs) are retiring. If you were thinking about taking a trip this summer to see one last final Rosedale show, you should definitely do it. I'm out here still giving it 110% every show to make everyone realize that "the really tall Canadian with way too much gear" is really on to something. Even if he ditches the overly popular, unsearchable, confusing name.

     Though this is yet another very long blog, this announcement could have easily been 10 times longer. There are hundreds of other reasons/things I meant to say but I just kinda let slip my mind or, evidently, they didn't seem nearly as important/relevant. (Like the Chicago horror rock band "The Rosedales", who showed up to our very first Chicago show in 2009 with a Cease and Desist letter for trademark infringement and contacted all the venues on that first tour to threaten all profits...they still threaten me from time-to-time...)

     Probably not the best place for this but: Rosedale’s songs and CDs and merch will still be available online. I'm just not sure if I'll be reprinting anymore hardcopies (definitely not Past Times as is as I don't even have the art file). Likely not reprinting merch and there isn't all that much left. So I'll try to keep the merch store as up-to-date on sizes as I can on the rest of this final Rosedale tour. But if you'd like to invest in Rosedale stock (and help clean out my van/garage) CDs are the way to go. I'll even sign them on request and maybe they'll be worth something one day.

     I'm still gonna be writing weekly tour/music/life blogs and I'll likely be starting that podcast/YouTube show I was babbling about when I introduced this blog in Blog #1 as a first step into the new chapter.

     It'll be interesting to see how this announcement plays out amongst the many social-media-only Rosedale followers and the true Rosedaliens. To the true Rosedaliens; I can't thank you enough for hanging in there and supporting me through thick and thin. Even if you just recently found out about Rosedale, and are just now enjoying/sharing/supporting my art, I really do appreciate you like family. I highly encourage you to come experience this victory lap and join me for the next chapter. Know that this is not goodbye. This is see you later in a different fashion. Hopefully sooner than later, though future timelines are still all up in the air.

     The only thing I'm sure of at this point is that this is the last Rosedale run and I'm gonna go 110% for every day of it. (Maybe even 120% now... I'm really gonna miss playing these songs!!!) Hope to see familiar faces as well as some of the mystery faces. Thanks again, everyone <3 xoxo

FINAL DATES: 5/30 - Boise, ID @ Shredder

5/31 - Vancouver, BC @ The Roxy

6/1 - Everett, WA @ Black Lab Gallery

6/2 - Seattle, WA @ Kate's Pub (acoustic)

6/5 - Tacoma, WA @ Real Art Tacoma

6/6 - Portland, OR @ TBA

6/7 - Portland, OR @ White Owl Social Club

6/8 - Grants Pass, OR @ The Sound Lounge

6/9 - Klamath Falls, OR @ The Pikey

6/10 - Phoenix, OR @ The Phoenix Clubhouse

6/13 - Sacramento, CA @ Cafe Colonial

6/14 - Cupertino, CA @ Homestead Bowl & Xbar

6/15 - Bakersfield, CA @ Sandrini's

6/16 - Las Vegas, NV @ Evel Pie

6/20 - Pomona, CA @ The Legacy Room

6/23 - San Diego, CA @ Soma

6/26 - Phoenix, AZ @ TBA

6/27 - Tucson, AZ @ TBA

6/28 - Las Cruces, NM @ TBA

6/29 - El Paso, TX @ Neon Rose

6/30 - San Angelo, TX @ The Deadhorse

7/4 - Austin, TX @ Mohawk

7/5 - Houston, TX @ Acadia

7/6 - Laffayette, LA @ TBA

7/7 - New Orleans, LA @ TBA

7/8 - Pensacola, LA @ Handlebar

7/12 - Santa Rosa Beach, FL @ Grayton Beer Company

7/13 - Nashville, TN @ Rocketown

7/14 - Columbus, OH @ Rock The Creek

7/17 - Cincinnati, OH @ TBA

7/20 - Memphis, TN @ TBA

7/21 - Birmingham, AL @ TBA

7/22 - Fort Walton, FL @ Green Door Music Hall

7/23 - Columbus, GA @ TBA

7/24 - Atlanta, GA @ Masquerade

7/26 - Savannah, GA @ TBA

7/27 - Jacksonville, FL @ Jackrabbits

7/29 - St. Augustine, FL @ Sarbez

7/30 - Orlando, FL @ TBA

7/31 - Tampa, FL

8/11 - Myrells Inlet, SC @ TBA

8/12 - Myrtle Beach, SC @ Klockers (acoustic)

8/16 - Asheville, NC @ TBA

8/17 - Norfolk, VA @ TBA

8/18 - Virginia Beach, VA @ TBA

8/20 - Richmond, VA @ Strange Matter

8/22 - Washington, DC @ TBA

8/24 - Philadelphia, PA @ TBA

8/25 - Long Island, NY @ TBA

8/26 - Hamden, CT @ TBA

8/28 - Providence, RI @ TBA

8/30 - Boston, MA @ TBA

8/31 - Albany, NY @ TBA

9/1 - Burlington, VT @ TBA

9/5 - Potsdam, NY @ TBA

9/7 - Montreal, QC @ La Vitrola

9/8 - Ottawa, ON @ TBA 

Maybe a couple hometown farewells early September too. Depends on some things.Lots to book. Any help would be much appreciated.

[gravitascivics]

PRIME REASON

While the challenge of promoting civic knowledge, skills, and dispositions is an ever present one, there currently seems to be an increased need to address this challenge.  For years, there has been an ongoing release of studies documenting the lack of these attributes or abilities that one associates with good citizenship among not only young people but citizens in general.

This has only magnified with the currently, often-cited polarization one finds in the American political landscape.  Surely, this reflects less than stellar accomplishments by the nation’s civics education programs.  And one can say, with the exception of recent reports in some segments of young people around the country, that things are not getting better.[1]  Here is what the journalist, Rebecca Winthrop, wrote in 2020,

Americans’ participation in civic life is essential to sustaining our democratic form of government.  Without it, a government of the people, by the people, and for the people will not last.  Of increasing concern to many is the declining levels of civic engagement across the country, a trend that started several decades ago.  Today, we see evidence of this in the limited civic knowledge of the American public, 1 in 4 whom, according to a 2016 survey led by Annenberg Public Policy Center, are unable to name the three branches of government.  It is not only knowledge about how the government works that is lacking – confidence in our leadership is also extremely low.  According to the Pew Research Center, which tracks public trust in government, as of March 2019, only an unnerving 17 percent trust the government in Washington to do the right thing.  We also see this lack of engagement in civic behaviors, with Americans’ reduced participation in community organizations and lackluster participation in elections, especially among young voters.[2]

This sort of concern and findings by a variety of academic and journalistic sources have been often cited in this blog.

         So, from less civic engagement in community efforts to acquiring political knowledge, both of the nation’s founding principles and of the civic challenges of the day, to voting and performing other civic activities, the level of engagement is wanting.  Within this context of how civics education efforts should be conducted, this blogger’s task – as he sees it – is to argue for those in charge to institute various elements of a reform effort in civics education.  

Naturally, besides what goes on in the classroom, that focus would include what the preparation of teachers should include to meet the challenges that civics education confronts today.  To meet the aims of imparting civic knowledge and skills and encouraging a disposition prone toward civic engagement, how teachers should approach these educational aims, what they should be able to do, and how they should be prepared to do their jobs need to be considered.  

In order to meet the above concerns, one is apt, in typical business style, to collectively find the components of the teacher preparation process, narrow one’s focus to those portions of the process dedicated to preparing teachers to handle relevant civic factors, identify what’s wrong, and go about devising plans and allocate resources to fix the problem(s).  Sounds logical enough, but is it enough?

In addressing this topic, this posting does not count on its writer’s academic credentials but instead on his being a veteran classroom teacher of twenty-five years. While the years of his service are a bit dated (1972-2000 – with some of those years having him do some other things), he feels they still provide relevant insights as to what is happening today – the reader will be the judge as to whether he is right.  

What he learned from that teaching experience – the constructed beliefs he developed – allows him to feel he can add to the discourse about what is ailing civics education.  No doubt the challenges facing civics are daunting, not only due to a lack of resources, but also due to a multitude of factors affecting the general situation. With that in mind, what follows is his take on what should constitute an ideal teacher preparation program which emphasizes civics education.  

That is, what should such a program include as its elements?  Warning:  transcending all of these factors and elements is a holistic aspect that defies systemic linear thinking and planning as just described.  He hopes his presentation over several postings captures that sense and communicates it to the reader.  His goal in describing and explaining his specific plan is to convey an element, provide a rationale for it, and then speculate and react to what the reader might respond to the given element.  

This general order of presentation will be followed as the individual elements are addressed.  When all of the elements are “covered,” he will then make some general comments as to the holistic nature of the concern.  But before starting, the reader should also be advised that the elements will not be divided by postings.  For example, this posting begins its comments on element one and will continue with element one in the next posting.  How the whole presentation will appear or be divided is still being considered.

So, here is the first element,

Element One: A viable teacher preparation program needs to make clear that civic preparation is not only a foundation of civics education or even social studies, but of all public education and of responsible private educational programs as well.[3]

         In terms of this element, it is helpful for one to step back a moment and ask why one supports public education.  What serves as the ultimate or trump value justifying all the expense that public education represents?  Different perspectives would probably elicit different answers to this question.

         One way to address this question is to look at the origins of public education; that is, what was the original intent of having public education?  According to the educational historian, R. Freeman Butts,[4] it was to support the development of a civic minded citizenry to meet the inherent needs of a functioning republic.  And supporting this notion are the thoughts of the historians Allen Nevins and Henry Steele Commager.  

They state: “The Founding Fathers knew that their experiment in self-government was without precedent, and they took it for granted that it could not succeed without an enlightened electorate.”[5]  They go on to cite the efforts of Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Rush, Noah Webster, George and his son DeWitt Clinton to establish an accessible school system in their respective states.  

And another historian, Samuel E. Morrison, more explicitly states the original purpose of public schools in the following way:

 Opposition to free public education came from the people of property, who thought it intolerable that they should be taxed to support the common schools to which they would not dream of sending their children. To this argument the poor replied with votes, and reformers with the tempting argument that education was insurance against radicalism.[6]

 All other reasons than that of preparing responsible, civic minded citizens (such as preparing an educated workforce, keeping youngsters from competing for jobs and off the streets, advancing the career ambitions of individual citizens, etc.), while not necessarily exclusive of the main goal, are at best secondary.

         Yes, the expense of public schooling needed to be justified to others besides the rich and these practical and utilitarian reasons were advanced by the likes of Horace Mann[7] and others, but the main justification was the promotion of civic education.  Butts further writes,

In re-examining the stated purposes used to justify the development and spread of the common public school in the mid-nineteenth century, I believe that the citizenship argument is still valid.  The highest priority for a genuinely public school is to serve the public purposes of a democratic political community. Those in favor of “excellence” or “back to the basics” [cries one commonly heard at the time Butts wrote these words] should be reminded that citizenship is the basic purpose for universal literacy. If the fundamental purposes of schooling are to be confined to preparing for a job or developing individual talents, these might well be achieved in private schools that select students for particular destinies.  But the faith of the common school reformers, as of the founders, that the civic tasks can best be performed by public schools that are characterized primarily by a public purpose, public control, public support, public access, and public commitment to civic unity was soundly based.[8]

 So, the first element is for involved and interested parties to see the main function of public and even private education is to promote good citizenship – all else follows from this fundamental aim.

And with that general support for a civic foundation, this posting stops and gives the reader an opportunity to mull over this role of civics or for this central rationale for public schools.  The next posting will pick up this first element, elaborate on it and, given the space remaining, continue with the others.  In all there are five elements.

[1] There have been reports of an uptick in young people becoming more politically engaged.  For example, see David Lauder, “Essential Politics: Young People’s Political Engagement Is Surging.  That’s a Problem for Republicans,”  The Los Angeles Times (April 23, 2021), accessed September 27, 2021, https://www.latimes.com/politics/newsletter/2021-04-23/surge-political-engagement-youth-problem-for-gop-essential-politics .

[2] Rebecca Winthrop, “The Need for Civic Education in the 21st – Century Schools,” 2020 Brookings Policy (June 4, 2020), accessed September 26, 2021, https://www.brookings.edu/policy2020/bigideas/the-need-for-civic-education-in-21st-century-schools/ .

[3] These comments will directly address public education, but a lot of what will be stated will also apply to private or sectarian educational efforts.

[4] R. Freeman Butts, The Civic Mission in Educational Reform:  Perspectives for the Public and the Profession (Stanford, CA:  Hoover Institution Press, 1989).

[5] Allen Nevins and Henry Steele Commager, A Pocket History of the United States (New York, NY: Washington Square Press, 1986).

[6] Samuel E. Morrison, The Oxford History of the American People (New York, NY:  Oxford University Press, 1965).

[7] Allen C. Ornstein and Francis P. Hunkins, Curriculum:  Foundations, Principles, and Issues (Boston, MA:  Pearson, 2004).

[8] Butts, The Civic Mission in Educational Reform, 130.

[breakmyreddieheart]

(Please Don’t) Say Anything - Ch3

 Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven

++ Accompanying Playlist ++

Summary: It’s the last days of high school and the Losers are soon to be leaving for university, moving to different parts of the country. Richie is trying to figure out how to tell Eddie how he feels about him, but only ends up making things worse and needs to figure out how to apologize. Bev has a cunning plan, and Richie Tozier gets extra…

Setting: Derry, ME - the summer of 1995

Pairings: Reddie (main), Stenborough (on the side) also Bev is dating a girl and Ben and Mike are just wholesome individuals right now

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: one stressy Kaspbrak

A/N: Do you like angst? Cause I’ve got some good angst for you here. Real melodramatic, like. 

---

Eddie hadn’t felt right all evening.

While he tried to carry on as normal, the concept of Richie moving to New York permeated every thought and left him feeling cold and anxious. As concerning a revelation as this was, he was simultaneously reeling from the realisation of the extent of his feelings for Richie.

He had always had a soft-spot for the Trashmouth. Growing up, Bill had been one of the only people that Eddie was close with; though he was a few months older, Eddie looked up to Bill like the big brother he didn’t have. His relationship with Richie, however, was different; he was more like the annoying little brother Eddie had never really asked for, but was lumped with all the same.

After that summer back in 88′ - the summer which galvanised friendships, yet sat inaccessible on the edge of each of the loser’s memories - he had begun to see Richie differently. While he was loud and obnoxious with everybody, Eddie couldn’t help but notice that Richie seemed to focus a lot of his jokes on him. It made him feel special in a way he couldn’t quite comprehend or explain. Growing up, Bill had been his closest and most loyal friend - he looked up to Bill in many ways - but he never gave Eddie the same feeling of nervous warmth that he felt when Richie talked about this cute cheeks or ruffled his hair.

As the years went by, he had spent more and more time with Richie; many nights studying together or just reading comics on Eddie’s bed and talking about dumb shit. He noticed an ever-increasing list of things that he came to adore; the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his favourite comic book plots, the raspy quality of his voice from smoking an unreasonable amount of cigarettes from such a young age, how he stuck his tongue out when he concentrated on writing new script ideas. Only at the thought of not having Richie in his daily life did he truly begin to appreciate how much the Trashmouth meant to him - and how utterly, ridiculously in love he was.

How had he not seen this sooner!? How had his brain failed to register this important detail??

Except it had. Subconsciously. As he sat in the midst of the Loser’s festivities, he pondered his reasons for choosing the University of California. Sure, it was a good school - but there were plenty of good medical schools in the East. Sure, he hated Derry and how the town seemed to smell like hate and decay - but did he really have to move to the opposite end of the country to get away from it? And sure, his Mother was frustratingly overbearing - but he didn’t have to move more than a few hours away to really get a good sense of freedom.

No, he was moving to California for Richie Tozier, and only now did that realisation begin to set in. Now, when it was too late to change his mind without raising far too many questions and causing way too much trouble.

“...Eddie?”

But what if he just--

“...Eddie!” Bill yelled as he was waving a hand in front of Eddie’s face, causing him to jump back to reality. “You haven’t had any p-puh-pizza yet. It’s nearly all g-go-hn.”

“Oh...um, I’m not really hungry...” he replied, his stomach churning a little at the thought of food.

“Is everything okay?” Stan asked. He and Bill were knelt either side of the armchair in which Eddie was sat, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Ben and Mike sat across the room playing Mortal Kombat while Richie and Bev were nowhere to be seen.

“You’ve been d-distant all e-eve-ning,” Bill spoke from the other side. The situation felt like a very polite interrogation. The last thing Eddie wanted to do right now was talk about it.

“I’m fine guys, just...I’m just thinking about stuff I guess” he replied, staring at his knees as he spoke.

“Stuff?” Stan scoffed, “Any specific stuff? You know you can talk to us right?”

“Sure, I just don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?” Eddie stood up and went to grab a beer, finding them all empty. He huffed in frustration, he should have just gotten over himself and accepted the one Richie offered him.

“Is it about R-Ruh-Richie?” Bill asked, him and Stan both standing now.

Eddie’s face reddened with annoyance, had Bill told Stan about their conversation??

“No! I don’t want to talk about it okay!?” He raised his voice, clenching his fists at his side as he spoke, tears beginning to burn in the corners of his eyes.

“There’s no need to be like that Eddie, we’re just concerned,” Stan said as if they weren’t the ones pressing Eddie for information. “Richie’s out front with Bev having a smoke, it’s safe to talk.”

Eddie shot a look at Bill feeling a little betrayed. He was only just realising these feelings for himself, he didn’t want it becoming gossip amongst the rest of the Losers.

“Look, I’m just gonna go home” he huffed, grabbing his bag from the armchair. “I’m tired, I have a headache, my mom’s gonna be pissy cause I’m out late, and I really don’t appreciate you jumping to conclusions about what I’m thinking.”

Bill and Stan paused, looking somewhat shocked at the outburst. Eddie pushed past and headed for the back door.

“So you’re not sneaking out the back to avoid Tozier, then?” Stan said pointedly. Bill elbowed him in the side and followed Eddie out onto the back porch.

“E-Eddie, wait up!”

“I can’t believe you told Stan!” Eddie snapped, spinning round to face Bill before beginning to pace the porch, gesticulating as he spoke. “What part of ‘don’t tell the other Losers’ didn’t you get? I trusted you with this Bill!”

“He’s my b-b-boyfriend, Eddie. We tell each other everything.” Bill said, sitting on the bench under the kitchen window. “I’m s-suh-sorry, I didn’t m-mean to u-u-u-upset you.”

Eddie noticed Bill’s stuttering was worse when he was feeling anxious. He huffed a little, still pacing, before moving to sit down next to his friend on the bench.

“I think he’s moving to New York,” he said after a pause, his right heel still tapping involuntarily. “I thought he’d be going to California. That’s why I applied there.”

“I figured,” Bill said matter-of-factly. Eddie felt frustrated but probably more appreciative of how well Bill knew him. “I didn’t think a-a-anyone knew where Richie was guh-going? He’s been keeping it p-pretty quiet.”

“He mentioned to Bev about living with her when she moves...” he said, staring at the floor, the tapping of his heel intensifying.

“Oh, that? I’m sure he was just joking!” Bill insisted, squeezing Eddie’s shoulder. “You know how he is, you can’t take half of what he says seriously.”

“I guess... but don’t you think he would have made a bigger deal of it if he knew we were moving to California together?” He waited for a response from Bill but the pause in conversation confirmed that he had made a valid point that Bill couldn’t refute.

“You should talk to him,” Bill said, leaning forward so that Eddie couldn’t help but look at him. Eddie made to argue but Bill raised a hand to stop him. “I know you don’t w-wuh-want to tell him how you fee-f-feel, but you need to say something or you’re just going to t-tie yourself up in kn-nuh-nots.”

Eddie sighed, knowing Bill was right.

“Fine, but not tonight. I really do have a headache and I just want to go to bed.”

“Okay, but don’t l-let this eat you up. I’m here for you, you k-kn-now that,” Bill smiled, “me and Stan.”

Eddie crossed his arms and gave Bill a look, but broke it with a smile and went to hug his friend. Bill hugged him back tightly, giving his shoulders a reassuring squeeze.

“Thanks buddy,” Eddie smiled, breaking the hug and relaxing his shoulders a little.

While he knew Bill was right, he couldn’t help but wonder how he could talk to Richie without giving his feelings away; the last thing he wanted to do was ruin their friendship before leaving Derry. He would try and talk to him, but not tonight. Not while he was feeling so worked up.

“Get home safe,” Bill waved as Eddie made to leave via the side of the house.

“Laters, ‘gaters!” Eddie called, waving back.

“Wh-while, ‘dile!”

Eddie smiled as he walked around the house, checking to see if Richie was still out front. Seeing the way was clear, he made for home at a fast pace, smile faltering as his worries wrapped themselves around his shoulders again.

This was going to be difficult. 

- End of Chapter 3 -

A/N: Sorry for the short filler-y chapter, this scene ended up being a lot longer than intended and would be too long if I added the next bit too. So I’ll get this out there for now, more soon! Bright side, y’all be getting seven chapters in total now!

Taglist: @richietoaster | @vimra | @wildcardtrip-blog | @starstruck-stargazing  | @noxatn  | @mysterious-fish  | @imnot-reddieforthis  | @fragilenights  | @justanothetfangirl | @tyrror

Send me a message if you want to be on the tag list for Chapter 4!

[alsbrainblog]

The Neuroscience of Happiness

What is happiness and how can we boost it?

It’s easy to think of happiness as just a positive emotion that involves feeling ‘good’ and content. However, a happy person doesn’t walk around feeling like this 24/7; they still experience life’s ups and downs - they just deal with them better and foster an overall positive lifestyle.

The World Happiness Report 2015 (1) has a chapter on the ‘Neuroscience of Happiness’, written by R. Davidson and B. Schuyler, that emphasises four aspects of well-being, noting how they each play an important role in the notion of happiness. These consist of 1. Sustained positive emotion, 2. Recovery from negative emotion, 3. Empathy, altruism and pro-social behaviour, and 4. Mindwandering and mindfulness. I’m going to talk through each of these briefly.

1. Sustained positive emotion

The ventral striatum is a nucleus of neurons within the brain, and has been showed to activate when we think ‘happy thoughts’ such as winning the lottery, or when we see a photo of our child. Examining both healthy control subjects and depressed patients, Heller et al. (2) found that positive images caused the ventral striatum in both groups to activate to a similar degree. However, when this activation was measured over a longer period of time, differences between the groups began to appear. Specifically, healthy subjects showed sustained nucleus activation as the experiment progressed whereas depressed patients did not.

As a follow-up, they then found that antidepressant treatment went hand-in-hand with both sustained ventral striatum activation and an increase in reports of positive feelings in depressed patients (3). Prettyyy cool.

It was also found that people with greater sustained activation of the ventral striatum (and the dorsolateral prefrontal region) had lower levels of the body’s stress hormone, cortisol, suggesting less activation of stress responses (4). It seems to be that measuring the sustained activity of these brain areas can predict our psychological well-being and cortisol levels to an impressive degree.

So, sustaining the happy feeling is our first important factor. Next up...

2. Recovery from negative emotion

AKA resilience, AKA “the maintenance of high levels of well-being in the face of adversity”.

One way of measuring emotional recovery is observing the brain’s activation following the presentation of a negative emotional stimulus. The logic here is that slow, prolonged activity reflects a “continuation of the emotional response when it ceases to be relevant” (1)- therefore, fast recovery following a negative stimulus should reflect better well-being.

The happiness report considers the brain’s amygdala a central node for resilience due to the piles of evidence implicating its role in fear and anxiety. Therefore monitoring amygdala activity is sensible for assessing resilience.

Participants viewed emotional images, and then were sometimes subjected to loud bursts of sound - the level of ‘startle’ they exhibited was used as a measure of sustained emotional arousal. Remove the negative image and the ‘startle’ diminishes faster for some people than others. Those people who recover better (faster) following negative events show higher scores on the Purpose in Life subscale. (5)

The report even suggests that opportunities that provide moderate levels of adversity may help us learn emotional regulatory strategies to help us recover from the really bad events that knock us down. So, y’know, maybe there’s another reason to stand up for yourself if someone cuts in front of you in a queue... you’re training your brain to be more resilient. 

3. Empathy, altruism, and pro-social behaviour

What about our social relationships? It’s well known that happy people have fulfilling, supportive social connections. Social isolation has shown to activate the physical pain regions of the brain (6), buying gifts for people feels good, and pro-social behaviour can activate feedback loops of increased wellbeing and even more pro-social behaviour and so on.(7)

Empathy has shown to manifest itself in the emotional centres of the brain, seeing someone hurt often makes you experience similar feelings in similar brain areas (8). Research has shown that if you feel more connected to someone (even if they just support the same team as you) you’re empathetic reaction to their experiences is stronger. (9)

Our good friend, the ventral striatum (a ‘happiness’ centre for the brain), activates when we receive money and  when we donate it to charity. In fact, evidence shows that it is even more active when giving than receiving! It make sense that those who find giving to charity intrinsically rewarding (via the ventral striatum) are more likely to engage in donating. (10)

Our other good friend, the amygdala (fear and emotion centre), has shown to have both increased volume and bigger response to faces of people in fear (i.e. representing sensitivity to the suffering of others) in individuals who are classed as “extraordinary altruists” and might, say, donate a kidney to a stranger. (11)

If we can train ourselves to be to show more empathy (sharing the feelings of others), compassion (concern and desire to help others), and recognise/be mindful of our own emotions, the evidence suggests that, not only do we get better at understanding people’s feelings, but we also become happier people ourselves.

Going back to our favourite wordy brain regions, the ventral striatum and dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, research has shown that stronger increases in connectivity between these two brain areas predicts more helping behaviour. All about training that brain!

4. Mindwandering and mindfulness

Using a smartphone app, Killingsworth & Gilbert (12) sampled more than 2000 people to see how often their minds ‘wandered’ from the activities they were engaged in and how happy/unhappy they were in that moment. They found that, in general, people were less happy when their minds wander from the task at hand. In fact, one experiment showed that some college students would rather suffer electric shocks than sit in a room alone for 6-15 minutes. Imagine that, some of us hate being left to our own thoughts so much, we’d rather be electrocuted... is our own company really that unpleasant? (13)

In the absence of a task, our brain’s ‘default mode network’ becomes active, coinciding with the feeling of mindwandering (14). We can counter the negative feelings that this brings using mindfulness - a technique that’s all the rage on meditation apps.

Alright, bear with me as I explain this vague concept: mindfulness involves looking inward and simply paying attention to your body and mind in a non-judgemental way. Just observing, reflecting, and breathing. People often focus on their breathing, and just have a moment to themselves without the noisy buzz of the outside of the world distracting them. Some people do it by staring at a single small object and focusing on its features, or taking note of the different background sounds they can hear. It’s a refreshing task, just taking a pause from life, detaching oneself, and has shown to decrease activity in the ‘default mode’ regions and improve well-being. Furthermore, counting our breaths (a form of mindfulness) has shown to reduce our level of distraction from stimuli in experimental research. (15)

Summary

That was a lot, I realise, but according to The World Happiness Report these are the big four constituents of happiness and well-being. Individuals who can better sustain positive feelings, ‘bounce back’ from negative experiences, engage in altruism and empathy (nobody regrets taking part in community-driven projects and charitable actions!), and improve their mindfulness show elevated well-being.

Remember that you can train these skills, and subsequently the brain regions and connections that they relate to, to become a healthier, happier individual! However, I’ve written this whole blog post and even I struggle to practice mindfulness and could definitely carry out more altruistic actions - but remember self-improvement and the pursuit of happiness is a gradual process that we work towards step by step.

Stay happy, my friends.

Al 

(1) Davidson, R. J., & Schuyler, B. S. (2015). Neuroscience of happiness. World happiness report, 88-105.

(2) Heller, A. S., Johnstone, T., Shackman, A. J., Light, S. N., Peterson, M. J., Kolden, G. G., … Davidson, R. J. (2009). Reduced capacity to sustain positive emotion in major depression reflects diminished maintenance of fronto-striatal brain activation. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 106(52), 22445–50. doi:10.1073/pnas.0910651106

(3) Heller, A. S., van Reekum, C. M., Schaefer, S. M., Lapate, R. C., Radler, B. T., Ryff, C. D., & Davidson, R. J. (2013). Sustained ventral striatal activity predicts eudaimonic well-being and cortisol output. Psychological Science, 24(11), 2191–2200.

(4) Heller, A. S., Johnstone, T., Light, S. N., Peterson, M. J., Kolden, G. G., Kalin, N. H., & Davidson, R. J. (2013). Relationships between changes in sustained fronto-striatal connectivity and positive affect in major depression resulting from antidepressant treatment. American Journal of Psychiatry, 170(2), 197–206. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2012.12010014

(5) Schaefer, S. M., Morozink Boylan, J., van Reekum, C. M., Lapate, R. C., Norris, C. J., Ryff, C. D., & Davidson, R. J. (2013). Purpose in life predicts better emotional recovery from negative stimuli. PloS One, 8(11), e80329. doi:10.1371/journal. pone.0080329

(6) Eisenberger, N. I. (2012). The pain of social disconnection: Examining the shared neural underpinnings of physical and social pain. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 13(6), 421–34. doi:10.1038/nrn3231

(7) Aknin, L. B., Dunn, E. W., & Norton, M. I. (2011). Happiness runs in a circular motion: Evidence for a positive feedback loop between prosocial spending and happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 13(2), 347–355. doi:10.1007/s10902-011- 9267-5

(8) Lamm, C., Decety, J., & Singer, T. (2011). Meta-analytic evidence for common and distinct neural networks associated with directly experienced pain and empathy for pain. NeuroImage, 54(3), 2492–502. doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2010.10.014

(9) Hein, G., Silani, G., Preuschoff, K., Batson, C. D., & Singer, T. (2010). Neural responses to ingroup and outgroup members’ suffering predict individual differences in costly helping. Neuron, 68(1), 149–60. doi:10.1016/j.neuron.2010.09.003

(10) Moll, J., Krueger, F., Zahn, R., Pardini, M., de Oliveira-Souza, R., & Grafman, J. (2006). Human fronto-mesolimbic networks guide decisions about charitable donation. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 103(42), 15623–8. doi:10.1073/pnas.0604475103

(11) Marsh, A., Stoycos, S. A., Brethel-Haurwitz, K. M., Robinson, P., VanMeter, J. W., & Cardinale, E. M. (2014). Neural and cognitive characteristics of extraordinary altruists. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. doi:10.1073/ pnas.1408440111

(12) Killingsworth, M. A., & Gilbert, D. T. (2010). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 330(6006), 932. doi:10.1126/science.1192439

(13) Wilson, T. D., Reinhard, D., Westgate, E. C., Gilbert, D. T., Ellerbeck, N., Hahn, C., … Shaked, A. (2014). Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind. Science, 345(6192), 75–7. doi:10.1126/science.1250830

(14) Callard, F., Smallwood, J., Golchert, J., & Margulies, D. S. (2013). The era of the wandering mind? Twenty-first century research on self-generated mental activity. Frontiers in Psychology, 4(December), 891. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2013.00891

(15) Anderson, B. A., Laurent, P. A., & Yantis, S. (2011). Value-driven attentional capture. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(25), 10367–71. doi:10.1073/pnas.1104047108

[stepdownonhell]

Questions, questions

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? A:I’m fine with my height:) 2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) A: A ferret  3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? A: Grunge/Indie. Or basic white bitch 4: What was your favorite video game growing up? A:Can’t remember  5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: My hawt bf, a certain amazing, gorgeous girl that’s my cute lil rabbit ♥, and my future. 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? A: “Warning asshole” 7: What is your opinion on Trump]? A: Kill it.  8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] A: Sometimes Sanguine (Rarely tho lmao. working on it sh) But Phlegmatic mostly.  9: Are you ticklish? A: Uhhhh..no? 10: Are you allergic to anything? A: Cute rats. sad.

11: What’s your sexuality? A: Pansexual (save the pan jokes) 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? A: Coffee  13: Are you a cat or dog person? A: Dog 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? A: A very tall elf. 15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? A: Zane Hijazi 16: How tall are you? A: 5′10 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? A: Octavia 18: How much do you weigh? A: Too much. 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? A: Yes 20: Do you like space or the ocean more? A: Space. 21: Are you religious? A: Religion? What’s that? 22: Pet peeves? A: Everything a human can do with their nails. flick flick  23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal? A: Who doesn’t wanna be a vampire? 24: Favorite constellation? A: Aquarius  25: Favorite star?  A: Sirius 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? A: No 27: Any phobias or fears? A: Spiders 28: Do you think global warming is real? A: Maybe? 29: Do you believe in reincarnation? A: Depends 30: Favorite movie? A: Love, Simon 31: Do you get scared easily? A: Naaah 32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? A: 15 33: Who do you hate most? A: Um, trump and a certain some one. 34: What is a color that calms you? A: Yellow 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? A: I would like to travel to the UK(And live there but..) I would wanna live in Cali.  36: Where were you born? A: A very cold place. 37: What is your eye color? A: Dark brown 38: Introvert or extrovert? A: Introvert. Why do you think I’m on tumblr? 39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? A: Yeah boy. 40: Hugs or kisses? A: Um neither, gross. 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? A: My love 42: Who is someone you love deeply? A: My sweet boi 43: Any piercings you want? A: My septum plz. I need her back in my life 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? A: Yes 45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? A: I don’t smoke, but I have ew. 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! A: I gots a mans honey 47: What is a sound you really hate? A: NAIL FLICKING 48: A sound you really love? A: My mans voice ;) 49: Can you do a backflip? A: no but how rad would that be? 50: Can you do the splits? A: ^ 51: Favorite actor and/or actress? A: Idkkk 52: Favorite movie? A: You asked me this already 53: How are you feeling right now? A: Nostalgic  54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? A: Blue 55: When did you feel happiest? A: When I went to Florida. 56: Something that calms you down? A: Talking  57: Have any mental disorders? A: Um 58: What does your URL mean? A: That’s a secret ;) 59: What three words describe you the most? A: Nostalgic, Lonely, unproductive.  60: Do you believe in evolution? A: Yes 61: What makes you unfollow a blog? A: If they’re a douche 62: What makes you follow a blog? A: If they’re rad 63: Favorite kind of person: The nice kind. Only in stores. 64: Favorite animal(s): Rats :) N snakes 65: Name three of your favorite blogs. I follow noone;) 66: Favorite emoticon: Emojis r gross 67: Favorite meme: Whats a me me  68: What is your MBTI personality type? A: Whut 69: What is your star sign? A: Sagittarius  70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? A: Yes 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? A: Red and white adorable, soft ass crop top, with my black skinnies. 72: Post a selfie or two? A: Neither  73: Do you have platform shoes? A: Wishing 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? A: I wanted to be a ballet dancer or a scientist.   75: Can you do a front flip? A: No 76: Do you like birds? A: Yes 77: Do you like to swim? A: ofc 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? A: Swimming 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Anti lgbt + trump 80: Some thing you wish did exist: Teleportation my dear 81: Piercings you have? A: First+second lobe, nose. 82: Something you really enjoy doing: Makeup 83: Favorite person to talk to: My boiii 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? A: gey  85: How many followers do you have? A: 0 86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? A: 10:01 87: Do your socks always match? A: Not a chance 88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? A: Nope 89: What are your birthstones? A: Tealllll? 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? A: a birb 91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? A: A white rose 92: A store you hate? A:  Hyvee? 93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? A: 6 lmao  94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? A: read minds 95: Do you like to wear camo? A: Depends 96: Winter or summer? A: Summer 97: How long can you hold your breath for? A: 57 seconds 98: Least favorite person? A: a certain person 99: Someone you look up to: My boiii 100: A store you love? A: Spencers 101: Favorite type of shoes A: Converse 102: Where do you live? A: not ur biz 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? A: No 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? A: Um idk 105: Do you drink milk? A: No i think it’s gross 106: Do you like bugs? A: no 107: Do you like spiders? A: do u even have to ask? n O 108: Something you get paranoid about? A: Everything 109: Can you draw: No lol 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? A: do yOU PLAY BASKETBALL??????????? 111: A question you hate being asked? A: ^ 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? A: probably 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? A: yes 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? A: Cloudy  115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: the boi :( 116: Favorite cloud type:  Arcus cloud 117: What color do you wish the sky was?  A: Yellow 118: Do you have freckles? A: I wish 119: Favorite thing about a person: Smile or humor 120: Fruits or vegetables? A: Fruits 121: Something you want to do right now: dieieieeie 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? A: Both are endless  123: Sweet or sour foods? A: Sour 124: Bright or dim lights? A: Dim 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? A: No 126: Something you hate about Tumblr: The “I think murders are cute” Side. 127: Something you love about Tumblr: Pretty photos  128: What do you think about the least? A: Responsibilities ;))  129: What would you want written on your tombstone? A: “Dance on me”  130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? A: A lot of people 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? A: My face 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? A: Maybe 133: Computer or TV? A: Comp. 134: Do you like roller coasters? A: YEEES

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? A: Motion sickness sometimes :((

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? A: Lobed 137: Do you believe in karma? A: A little 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? A: 3 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? A: Princess, hoe, rikku 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? A: When I was younger I thought Danny phantom was my bf.  141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? A: Never 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? a: Bad.woops 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts? A: Giving  144: What makes you angry? A: Homophobs  145: How many languages do you speak fluently? A: 2 Engrish n jibberish 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? A: All of the beautiful people ♥ 147: Are you androgynous? A: Too much so 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My brows n hair 149: Favorite thing about your personality: Too tough to answer  150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. A: My love, A rabbit n Hobo Johnson.  151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? A: Stone age my dudes 152: Do you like BuzzFeed? A: Ew no 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? A: A game 

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? A: umno

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? A: Yea 156: What embarrasses you? A: My mother 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: Too many peoples 158: Biggest lie you have ever told: Lets not bring that up 159: How many people are you following? A: Dunno 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? A: Like 2 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? A: none 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? a: nONE 163: Last time you cried and why: A few days ago for reasons  164: Do you have long or short hair? A: Shoulder length 165: Longest your hair has ever been: To the bum 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? A: Because religion scares people into thinking if they do something bad, they’ll go to an imaginary place called hell. If your God loved you so much he would never do such a thing ;/// + Many other reasons 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? A: I really do 168: Do you like to wear makeup? A: too much 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? A: No 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? A: Yuh

[poetdameron]

through my eyes | jonerys [got] fic | jonerys week

Title: Through My Eyes Characters/Pairings: Jon/Dany, minor or implied Arya/Gendry, minor or implied Sansa/Tyrion, Bran, Brienne, Podrick Rating: G Spoilers/Warnings: Continuation of Warm, R + L = J, jonerys as seen from other people’s perspective Word Count: ~4, 815 Summary: Jon and Daenerys in Winterfell through the eyes of his sisters. A/N: What? You thoungt I wasn't going to post this last fanfic of the week? Bitch, me, too, the fuck. I went to a party today and almost lost the chance to share this. Sorry for the late posting but it's doneeeeeeeeee.This fic is pure fluff, it's sort of a continuation of Warm, Jon and Dany as seen by the Stark sisters. I loved writing this one because I would die and kill for interactions between the other Starks and Daenerys without shade in between. So I hope you all like this, too.Fanfic wrote for Jonerys Week, day 7: Free day.

AO3 | Read on my blog:

Through My Eyes

The chill of winter filled the halls of Winterfell when it should be overwhelming with noise. It pained Sansa to notice with every passing day, that so many people lived and worked inside the walls of her home, and yet no sound echoed as it used to when she had been growing up.

Her remaining siblings were all home, and none talked to the other nor giggled like when they had Father and Mother to call them up on their little games. Only the snow reminded, covering the ground where Arya used to train with the boys and when she and Jane would walk around, gossiping and fantasizing about their future husbands and castles.

Children’s dreams.

It pained her even more to call Jon her cousin, although as Arya had suggested to him in the middle of everyone’s silence, he was still their older brother, have always been. His birthname tasted bittersweet in her mouth and she had seen the frown in the Dragon Queen when the news were revealed. Then, Jon had left the room.

Sansa sighed, just a day had passed when he had come back and called the bannermen, giving the news that came from The Wall in the form of Bran’s mystical eyes. The dead were coming and Jon had assumed Father’s figure, eager to fulfill his duty and forget what else had been told to him just now. The Queen looked at him, as if expecting him to look back, but he never did.

“My Lady,” she looked at her side and smiled at her new companion, nodding his direction, “enjoying the cold?”

“Not quite.” She answered to Lord Tyrion and he sighed, standing at her side as both saw down to where people were trained for weeks, now all inside for dinner, knowing soon they’ll march with her brother to an almost certain death. “How is the cold treating you? I know you are not used to these lands, my Lord.”

“I’ve been in worse conditions.” He answered, his voice painted in sarcasm but she could hear the truth behind them. “Besides, being a guest has always been one of my favorite things when the company is so good.”

Sansa smiled a bit. There was a time not many things made her even try on a smile, when she had been younger and made to wed this man at her side. She remembers with warm that he had made her laugh a time or three, she had felt almost safe when she thought him and Shae her friends.

But Shae had betrayed both and time had made them into different people, and while Sansa trusted Lord Tyrion as much as she could nowadays, she still had her reservations when it came to his new political position and what it meant for her and their people.

“How is he?” He asked suddenly, Brienne and Podrick were entering the training yard, she knew Arya and Bran must be no far behind.

“If you mean Jon, I have no idea.” She answered, looking as her siblings entered the area, a third person with them at Arya’s side. The smith boy. “He hadn’t talk to anyone in three days. I assume you haven’t see him either.”

Lord Tyrion shook his head. “Your sister seems attached to that boy.”

“He is King Robert’s bastard, isn’t him?”

“The last no-recognized Baratheon.” Tyrion said, even though in mockery, still true and with a sightly tone of amusement. “He is a good boy, if you wish to know.”

“I doubt my sister would look at him like that if he wasn’t.” She answered, recognizing her own amusement that made Lord Tyrion smile wide. It had been a while since she felt like gossiping. Maybe having all these people around was returning the warm of this home. “Is it true he looks like King Robert? I don’t see it. At all.”

“My Lady, you met Robert when he was a cow, of course you can’t see it. But yes, Gendry is a curious re-do of his father. Thankfully, it’s only in the outside.”

“Thankfully.” She repeated.

Down in the yard, Brienne and Podrick stayed near Bran, looking at the entrance, as if waiting for someone else to walk in. With Bran’s power, she wouldn’t be surprised if a new guest entered Winterfell at the moment. Yet, she focused on Arya and Gendry, walking around the yard in deep conversation.

It figured to her as courting, the way they leaned into the other to hear them better and how slow they walked. Arya chuckle suddenly, stopping her walk as she looked at Gendry who seemed rigid, and when her sister started to laugh, loud and un-lady-like, Sansa couldn’t help but smile wider than she had in a very long time.

“Gods!” Lord Tyrion said at her side, Sansa looked at him but returned her sight to the couple as both looked at the front, too. Arya had her hand on his chest, the touch seemed so natural, she almost forgot they were nothing but friends officially. “My Lady, that’s the longest I’ve seen you smile since we were married.”

“Ah!” She gasped and almost laughed, looking at him with false offense. And she would had replied with equal playfulness if it wasn’t for the pair walking to the yard, too close to the other to be called friendly.

Jon and Daenerys looked like painted for the halls of High Garden, it was like if they were made to match each other. Daenerys’s silver and white colors contrasted Jon’s greys and blacks, but none out-stood the other. Sansa tilted her head sightly as they walked to Bran, Arya and Gendry making their way back to their parting point.

She wondered if they had come into terms with whatever relationship they had, or have. Her brother as impulsive and seemed to not think the consequences of his acts most times, but she knew he wouldn’t risk the people he was responsible for and whatever there was between them, would stay between them. At least for the time being. Or that she hoped.

“Seems like we have a new preoccupation.” Tyrion sighed. “They have made up.”

“You sound unhappy.”

He looked at her, no smile or amusement. Whatever it was, it was serious for him. “Don’t you think it inconvenient for them to be in love?”

In love. That was what she feared. She was almost jealous of Jon’s freedom of finding love in these circumstances and in someone that could crush them with a single movement of her finger. But was exactly for what she knew Daenerys wouldn’t do such thing, for she trusted Jon’s good heart and the fact that he wouldn’t chose someone whose heart didn’t match his.

“Arya pointed out something to me the night they came here.” She looked at Lord Tyrion, hoping to maybe calm his preoccupations. “Anyone is better than Cersei at this point and our brother would not chose as his partner someone with a bad heart.”

“But you don’t trust our Queen.” He pointed out.

Sansa smiled, nodding. “Not yet. Don’t get me wrong, my Lord. I can see my brother’s feelings almost as good as Arya sees them,” she explained, looking back at the group in the yard, “he is impulsive and will put in risk his life for her, I know that, too. And I know that worries you dearly.” He lowered his head, nodding slowly. “I can see she is exactly like him, for what we hear. She did not listen to you and rescue my brother, even lose one of her dragons. I’m grateful for that but I can also see how stupid that was. But right now we have a fight beyond thrones to win.”

“Careful, not let anyone hear you say such things of the Queen.”

“Who would hear me here that will tell all this to anyone?” She smiled at him, her eyes following the scar on his face and the way his own smile was starting to show. “You? I know you, too, my Lord. My words are safe.” And he finally smiled.

They looked at each other for a few seconds before looking down again, where Arya and Gendry were making mountains of snow. Jon was talking to Brienne as Podrick and Bran observed the Queen getting on her knees to help reunite the snow. Jon stopped talking, looking only as Daenerys listened to Arya, seemly explaining how to create a block with snow.

“Bless my brother and his obvious eyes.” She smiled. “I wouldn't have anything to amuse me if it wasn’t for this play. Look at him watch her, he loves her.”

“And she loves him.” He sighed. “No matter what I say, I guess I can only support her. Them.” He corrected himself, then looked at her. Sansa looked back. “It’s not gonna be easy.”

“When we defeat the dead, it may.”

“How, my Lady?”

“Well,” she sighed, “this is not actually my idea. It’s Jon’s. He believes once the people sees she is here to fight for them, people she could submit with just one dragon, they will see what he has.” Sansa locked her eyes in his, he needed to see the security in her face as she said the next part. “I believe that’s possible. Before, even though they would never disrespect my father’s bastard, Jon was nothing but that to them. And I was just a Lady with no home. It wasn’t until we won back Winterfell and they saw the good leader Jon can be that they finally respected him. It can happen with her, too.”

“Let’s be hopeful.” He sighed.

“They can get married.” She suggested, looking at his reaction to the idea. There was something he wasn’t saying. As she suspected, he made a face. “You don’t want my brother to be King?”

“It’s not that, my Lady.” He answered almost immediately. Jon had walked to the builders, and they seemed to be explaining what they were doing in the snow. “Your brother is a great ally… but there are things that may not look favorable. Him being a heir changes the game, it gives us an opportunity.”

“Us?” She interlaced her fingers under her belly and waited.

“Meant Daenerys. I haven’t had the chance to talk to her, she’s been… you know.” He sighed. “She can’t conceive. But--”

“Don’t say that.” She asked.

“It would be more helpful if he became her heir. She can’t have children.”

“That’s not yours to decide.” She said, her hands were shaking, so he maintained her hands together. “I don’t think she likes you telling this to people. You are putting her in a bad position.”

“I’m not telling this to anyone, I know my words are safe with you.” He said, echoing her words from earlier.

She shook her head and felt sorry for the Queen again. As a girl, she wanted to become queen one day, now she wasn’t so excited with the prospect of it. She felt safer with the power she got by being a Lady, she liked administrating her own house, but having her life exposed like this, she wouldn’t be able to take.

“I can see your point, my Lord.” She said at least. “Still, I hope you’ve been or will be gentler talking about this to her than to me.” She arched an eyebrow. “I would have you out my sight if you treated those matters so cold as talking about me.”

“I know it’s a delicate theme, but--”

“Do you, my Lord?” She swallowed, noticing how she was understanding better the Queen now. “This is a woman that calls herself Mother Of Dragons. Do you?”

He seemed to finally see her point and slowly darted his eyes away from hers, back to the Queen that was smiling happily as she and Arya tried to mold the snow in with their globed hands. Sansa shook her head, they were doing a poor job at it. Arya was never the best at building figures in snow, but the scene was still tender.

Jon kept looking at the Queen, trying with Gendry to help her and Arya with the principal building since they had finished what seemed like a small patio. Sansa tilted her head, wondering what they were supposed to be doing.

“I guess I didn’t thought of that before.” Lord Tyrion finally admitted. “Gods, I keep losing my touch with her. She exasperates me sometimes, like a little sister. She doesn’t listen, but she is--” He chuckle. “So smart and good. I know she’ll make a difference.”

“You love her.” She noticed.

“Of course.” He answered, looking at her. “She is the Queen I chose.”

“No, I mean--”

“Oh, no.” He laughed, looking at her as if asking how could she joke with this. Sansa recognized the truth in his face and smiled at him. “Not like that.”

She loved Jon the same. He was her brother, no matter what, and she believed he would lead them to a better morrow to win The Battle For The Down, and with the Queen at his side, they had a better shot, she wouldn’t deny that. What they wanted to do after, could be deal with then.

“Lord Tyrion!” They hear Daenerys calling her Hand. He leaned forward to watch her, she was on her knees at Jon’s side with her globes covered in snow. “Come here and talk to me!”

“Duty calls.” He said, nodding at the Queen and then looking at her to make a small bow and walk away.

But then Arya called her. “Sansa! Come here and helps up build a castle!”

“What?” She looked down, frowning. “Why would I do that?” She asked, knowing she wanted to be down there but also knowing she had work to do. Maybe she could go with them and convince Jon to do his job at least.

“Because I’m asking nicely!” Her sister answered and Sansa rolled her eyes, but walked down anyway.

**

“It’s good to see you out.” Was Sansa’s greet to Jon and Arya blinked a couple of times.

In the past Sansa had tried to mimic their Lady Mother and treated Jon poorly as she was becoming a lady, ready to marry her prince when her time was up. Nowadays, the respect between them had been made into a nicer relationship, and Arya couldn’t be more grateful for that. There was no time to be mean to each other, she was sure their Lord Father would had loved to see them reunited here, making snow castles like children.

“I’m sorry, It’s just...”

“It’s fine.” Sansa sighed. “Doesn’t matter know.” She looked down at Daenerys, who was looking at Tyrion Lannister and this time, she didn’t seem to think her the enemy anymore. Arya wondered what could had caused the change.

Could their conversation from last night be the cause? Or what she had been talking with the Queen’s Hand for so long up there? Whatever it was, her face not frowning was a nice look on her sister.

“We’ll have a talk before dinner, when we are over with our house.”

“I see.” Tyrion said at Daenerys’s words. She looked at the Dragon Queen in front of her and saw the little smile in Jon’s face, that was also a nice look on her brother. “And I also see you need help with that house.”

Daenerys looked down at their work and Gods, they were awful at it. She laughed careless and leaned a little into Jon’s shoulder, he smiled wider but looked down in the hopes no one would notice it. But it was too late, she wanted to tell him. Everyone and every leaf and dust knew of his feelings for the beautiful woman at his side.

It made her both, happy and sad. Jon was being loved by someone who deserved him, but his new position could kill their relationship if the Gods keep their cruelty and others reacted wrong to his other name, and his loyalty for the Queen. They could all die morrow, they could die at night. It was unfair, that their time could be cut so short.

“Lady Sansa, I’ve been told you are the best snow builder in Winterfell.” Daenerys called her sister and Arya looked up, waiting for Sansa’s reaction.

She nodded, her hands were put together over her belly, in her part as Lady of Winterfell, and Arya hoped they would be kids again. They used to get together, Sansa, she and Bran, and tried to teach Rickon how to build a castle in the snow. Their Lord Father had thaught them first, and then Robb and Jon had made sure they learned the best tricks to maintain the snow together.

Arya recognized she wasn’t the best at it, Sansa always beat her at it. On those times, she would call Jon to help her and Sansa would call her a cheater for getting seeking the aid of their brother, so Robb would come to her rescue. Their Father would be watching them from where Sansa had been with Lord Tyrion just now, sightly smiling at them being children.

But that was a long time ago. Now, Bran sat without apparent expression looking at them, his mind in another place; Jon was King, his face scarred and his hands showing calluses only a swordsman would carry; Sansa the Lady she always wanted to be but not quit it, choosing duty over joy when she had been full of summer; and she so different, wearing winter. Not knight, not a Lady, not just a warrior either.

“No, you are doing it all wrong. Gods...” Sansa’s voice took her away from her darker thoughts, she looked as Sansa got herself between Arya and Daenerys. Lord Tyrion was now standing near Bran, talking to him and Brienne of Tarth. “Look at this mess. Arya, this is work of yours, no doubt.”

“What does that mean?” She said, feeling her face warm. Daenerys was looking at them, observing their banter like if she was new to her.

“Means exactly what it is. Look at this. A mess.” Sansa destroyed what they had done, and both Arya and Daenerys exhaled in surprise, Jon was discretely laughing at Daenerys’s side.

Yet, Gendry's laugh distracted her from the small anger at her sister as she gathered more snow from their sides. She looked at him and the way his eyes shone when he laughed, so alike as when they had first met. He hadn’t change much, was older and stronger, but still the same friend she had found in the road.

Her face felt warmer when he looked at her and they shared a smile before he sat down in the snow, probably tired of being on his knees.

Their clothes would had to be change or they would get sick, no one was up for having to stay in bed, not now. But she could tell no one wanted to move from their positions, not when moments like these were so rare.

Sansa had build a better foundation for Daenerys’s house and leaned back, sitting on her legs as she waited for the compliments. Daenerys clapped her hands, she looked like an excited girl that has never played with snow before. And maybe she was, Arya had to remind herself how young the Queen actually was, how young her brothers and sister, and Gendry, and her were.

Like every time since they came out the crypts, Jon smiled at her and her expressions. She seemed to be magical for she could make Jon Snow, always in black and always brooding, smile so much and for so long.

“What are we building, anyway?” Sansa asked as Daenerys held snow in her hands and was being shown how to manipulate it into the building.

“The house with the red door...” Daenerys answered distracted. “It’s the place I used to live in when I was a child.” She said, now making a second floor with Sansa’s help.

“Let me...” Jon intervened, suddenly closer to the Queen. But she figured she wasn’t that right now, she was Jon’s friend. Or, admitting it, Jon’s lover, playing in the snow with his siblings. “Like this, so it won’t fall.”

“Jon is right.” Sansa assured, she put snow near the middle of the foundation. “Here is for your door. We need a stick or something.”

“Here.” Gendry offered the couple of sticks they had picked before. “It’s the tree, so be careful… My Lady.”

Arya wanted to laugh on his face again but maintained her mouth shout, but his expression told her he had seen the second she almost loses it. He eyed her as if offended but she knew it was all a game, it was always a game of who could exasperate the other the most.

“Tree?” Sansa asked while giving one of the sticks to Daenerys and the other to Jon, who had extended his hand to her.

“There’s a lemon tree outside the widow of my room.” Daenerys explained, signaling where the room should be made.

“Alright, we need a room.” Sansa said, taking snow to make the room. “Arya, make a circle in the patio for the tree… right here.” She touched the snow and left her finger printed in it, Arya started to circle around it, trying to imagine the roots of the God’s tree, how they seemed to have carpet of their own that maintained the grass different from the rest of it when it was summer.

“Gendry?” Jon called, he blinked when he looked up at her brother. “I think the wall we did before needs to be--”

“Taller. Aye, the house turned into a castle.”

Daenerys smiled, making little details with her stick on the door Jon had made. “I said it was big.”

Jon shook his head but kept on smiling. “I’ll work this part, you work over there.”

“Roots are ready.” She announced. “How was the room?” She asked the Queen.

“It had a big window, too.” She said, then looked at Jon. “Look at the door, it’s not exactly how it was, but I remember it this way.” He looked down at her work, Arya wanted to take a look, too, but left them to it. Sansa had seen it but went back to the widow, asking for the stick so she would made the proper space in the square of snow. Daenerys give it to her. “Just imagine it red. And the walls were all white. It was beautiful, the light got inside everywhere and it was never hot.”

When Arya looked at Sansa, she was smiling at their brother and Daenerys. She looked at Gendry and the others, all smiling, even Bran in his own new way and she felt grateful. Maybe things wouldn’t go so bad after all.

“Alright...” Sansa murmured, extending her hand to Jon. “Stick.” He gave it back and Sansa and she break the two of them in other two.

Pulling at one of her long red hairs, she used it to tie two of the new done smaller sticks and break the reminded ones into four, going to take another of her hairs when Daenerys offered one of hers. Sansa looked up at her and nodded, taking it to tie two of the new small sticks, then using the ends of hers and Daenerys’s to tie the two lasts.

“It’s not perfect...” She said, putting the build up tree in its place. “But there’s the tree.”

“That’s impressive.” Lord Tyrion offered and Sansa smiled at him, Arya lifted an eyebrow. She knew Sansa was made to marry him once but the marriage was false, never consummated even. She didn’t knew her sister actually appreciated the man.

“Just old tricks.”

“And you always said they weren’t.” Arya reminded her. “You accused me of cheating.”

“Oh, you were a cheater!” She said, amusement in her voice.

“I believe that.” Gendry added and Arya looked at him with daggers in her eyes, she hoped, but it only made him smile.

“What do you think?” Jon asked to Daenerys as they continued their small staring competition.

“Looks like it.” She answered, then signaled the widow she and Sansa had made. “It always smelled like spring because of the tree, it was magical.”

Daenerys looked back at Arya and Sansa, she blinked and Arya noticed she had stopped tears from coming down and her suspicions were confirmed. This was no just a house, this was home for her. And it had been taken away from Daenerys.

“Thank you for your help.”

Sansa shook her head but Arya smiled, suddenly hugging her sister’s neck, “Arya!” She said as she loosed her balance and almost fell on Daenery’s face if it wasn’t for her arms rounding them both. The Queen would had fallen into the snow, but Jon had took her shoulder and the weight of the three of them fell on his chest.

For a second, there was only silence, until Daenery’s laugh made Sansa’s came out alive and loud, making her laugh in return, too. It seemed heir laugh became contagious for Jon was laughing, and she could her Gendry’s and a few more, probably from Brienne and Tyrion, and as they were laying on Jon’s body with his hands finally touching Daenerys like she supposed he had been dying to, it started to snow.

“You haven’t see the snow fall before.” Jon said to the Queen. Her eyes were wide open as she was still holding her and Sansa over her chest. She extended one hand to the falling snow and watched as a snowflake became water on her hand, her smile shining like her hair. “It snowed yesterday, you didn’t see?” She only shook her head.

“We were all inside.” Tyrion offered an explanation. “As we should be getting right now, we don’t want to get sick.”

“A bit longer.” Daenerys said, it didn’t sound like an order but a question, like if she was asking an older brother or a father to stay for a while.

“You are not wearing the clothes for this right now.” Jon reminded her and Arya blinked when Daenerys looked up at him. If Jon leaned just enough, they would be locking lips.

Sansa looked at her and they shared the same secret, that Daenerys wasn’t bad and she was becoming a part of Jon they shouldn’t allow him to lose or else, he’ll be miserable for the rest of his life. Her sister smiled at her and Arya leaned her forehead to hers, as she used to do with Jon and Rickon when she had been younger.

“Let’s get going.” She heard Jon said. “And for that, I need you all to stand first.”

Arya smiled at him, they probably looked like pups sleeping one over the other to keep warm. She stood first and offered her hand to Sansa, she took it and they saw as Jon stood and did the same for Daenerys.

This time, they didn’t let of their joined hands.

No one would see it, she thought, since his cape and the way they maintained their union so low would throw away anyone who didn’t look closer. No one was around anyway, and it wasn’t like if all walls of Winterfell knew about them.

“It’s beautiful!” She said as the snow fell around them, Sansa gave a last look to their work and then walked to Bran and Lord Tyrion, getting ready to push their brother inside home. “Just let me see a bit.”

“My Queen, you’ll get ill.” He insisted, but she didn’t listen to him and walked away a few steps. Arya went back to Gendry’s side and nibble at his rib. He moved, looking at her with a frown and she could only laugh at it. “Dany...”

Arya looked up at Jon’s voice calling that name. He was behind the Queen with his cape on his hands, going to her shoulders. She looked back at him, her cheeks looking pink and her hands landing on his arms as she smiled at him.

She wished she could see Jon’s face, but instead she heard Brienne calling at her with a low voice. Sansa and Tyrion were pushing Bran inside, Podrick behind them. Gendry followed and she gave her brother and his Dany at last look before going at his side.

“Boy’s in looooove.” She mocked.

“Hush!” Sansa said, smile could be hear in her voice. “Walls can hear and the wind speaks, and it doesn’t concern us.”

Gendry smiled at her as they walked inside and she felt warm again. Jon had been cold for along time, Arya hoped he felt as she did thanks to Gendry when he looked at Daenerys.

**