#kaz just was pulling a lot of shit out his ass left and right and as the reader we don’t always have all the info

[tough-n-dumb]

my biggest flex is i understand how they did the ice court heist

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

We All Need Saving Sometimes - Kaz Brekker x male! Reader

A/n: I don't even know why this took me so long to write because this was so fun! Anyways sorry it took so long!

Warnings: Violence? + Language (it is me you should expect it at this point!?

Request: Hiiii, I just discovered your account and I love it! I've been searching for shadow and bone x Male readers but there aren't that many so I figured I could request one 😅 I was thinking about a Male reader x Kaz Brekker, maybe the reader is like a vigilante and saves Kaz or something like that. Just do whatever you want with it :)))

(The reader is kind of like Nightwing btw)

The blood rushed through his veins as he swung around and smashed the crime boss in the face. Adrenaline courses through him as the man stumbles back and he takes a few steps forward.

"I- Please, I-I'll do-do anything! Please!" Y/n just rolls his eyes and cuffs him to the pole on the top of some random Ketterdam building with his special handcuffs. Although this thug isn't very skilled at pickpocketing much less pick locking so he really didn't need to use it. Either way, the man wouldn't be able to leave till the stadwatch could come to get him or he would die from dehydration.

Well, he did say Ketterdam.

He jumped from the building still hearing the pleas of the older crime (failing) boss. Some considered him a hero, some did not. He was kind of in the middle, he would kill (like he said this is Ketterdam for ghezen sake!) But sometimes he would let them go. Most of the time his vigilante persona - Inferno, was just so he could keep the innocent children out of the way of the crime schemes that happen in this totally lovely city.

The thing with Y/n was that his superhero persona, Inferno was a tad bit different from himself normally. Inferno could be described as calculative, cool, and intellectual.

When he was just the L/n boy though... He's clumsy, anxiety-ridden, and what some would call a classic 'nerd' case, to name a few. Trust Y/n when he said this; he wasn't a mental case it just both of the sides were him but... Not always completely him. Inferno and L/n were two sides to him that only really did have two things in common; their terrible corny jokes, and never ever doing something without thinking about it first.

So he didn't know why he did it. Why he jumped off that building landing headfirst in a fight to help some strange teenager with a cane. All he knew was when he took one look at the teen he didn't even think he just did.

A man tried to swing a weak left hook at Inferno but he just rolled his eyes and dodged gracefully and judo flipped him onto his back, his face letting out a satisfying CRUNCH! As his foot put all its pressure on the man's disgusting face. While the man scream's out in pain he turns his attention to the two others. The teenager seemed to have one all he had to do was get the oth- WAIT IS THAT KAZ BREKKER?!!

A punch is delivered to Inferno's face and he feels rage build up inside him. Fuck this shit he's done. He goes full in and tackles the other man that's not attacking the Brekker boy and with his rage the man's dead in seconds. Welp, he would just have to add that to the number that he can't remember how many people he's killed.

The answer would be a lot, but hey! He did say protecting the (innocent) children and teens were off and on, apparently, it was on today.

He hears a giant wack! And he turns around just in time to see the other attacker fall to the ground and for the boy to withdraw his cane.

"I didn't need your help."

Inferno roll's his eyes and nods sarcastically; "Sure Brekker, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Who says I sleep?"

"Well, we're on the same boat for that one buddy!" I laugh and I could feel L/n slipping through Inferno almost like they were finally coming together after meeting this young criminal. But why?

"Don't mention this to anyone or I'll have your head." The Brekker boy says threateningly, well it would be to anyone else if they weren't so entranced by him. (Cough, cough, Y/n.)

"Hey, I saved you!"

"I thought you only saved children?" Then at that moment, their eyes meet and Y/n can see right through his soul. His eyes are cold, but they're so hypnotic and they make him fall for this bastard of the barrel. They both seem to come closer till there almost chest to chest, it was like an invisible magnetic force was pulling them together.

"We all need saving sometimes, Brekker," Y/n whispered and Brekker turned his head away probably trying to recollect himself.

"Call me Kaz please." Y/n knew that Dirtyhands wasn't polite nor did he beg. But this wasn't Kaz Brekker neither was it Dirtyhands. This is a scared boy who was peaking out and Y/n was holding out his head and he thinks he just took it.

"I Have an offer for you. Meet me at the Waffle House near the fountain. of Crows at six."

Y/n raise's his eyebrow and a slow smile crawls upon his face. "Oh, it's a date then Brekk- Kaz!" He jokes.

Kaz rolls his eyes. "Just remember who I am Inferno."

So Kaz hasn't figured out that Y/n was Inferno, give Brekker about a day and he would probably figure out his identity. But an unusual feeling spread across Y/n's chest and he observed it wasn't panic that Kaz would find out who he really was. He couldn't place what the feeling was just yet but he discovered that he trusted Kaz.

And that was more terrifying than any villain.

"Just count yourself lucky you don't owe me anything after saving your ass!"

Kaz just rolls his eyes at the statement and starts walking away from Y/n but pausing midway just almost out of his line of vision.

Without turning his head Kaz yells; "You Better not be late for our date L/n!"

Y/n's eyes widen and any confidence that might have been there was wiped away with just a few words and he's left in a flustered mess. Not even realizing that he had already figured out who he really was outside of his superhero persona.

He's frozen, going through Brekker's words over and over again trying to comprehend what the hell just happened.

Holy fuck he just got a date with Dirtyhands.

Fate must have been up to something but whatever it was he was ready and with a grin, Y/n took off into the night.

Bouns:

"This way sir." A petite but kind lady walks him towards a table where there it was - the bastard of the barrel, someone who he could be himself and join his two half of himself together without pressure was there.

He was actually there.

And he, Y/n L/n was late.

He carefully slid into the booth seat on the opposite side of Kaz examining the boy in front of him. He was holding a newspaper, his hat was drawn forward enough so it could cover his eyes and he didn't even acknowledge him.

Just at that moment he place's the newspaper down and raises an eyebrow at the L/n boy.

"Your late L/n."

A sly smirk plays on Y/n's face as he remembered what Kaz had told him before hand in there last visit. Fate really did have a funny way of doing things.

"Oh Please Kaz." He leans forward so now they're both eye to eye.

"Call me Y/n."

Words 1217

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover

[shima-draws]

Hiro is here!! We've all been waiting for him!!

You know the drill by now, all the yummy details about his background are under the cut ;) Also be warned it is VERY long I went a little feral writing his backstory lmao

Hiro

Age: 17

Hair color: Orange

Eye color: Pink

Element: Psychic & Forest

Okay so a lot of this is gonna be stuff I'm pulling from posts I've already written to make it easier on myself and so I don't have to repeat anything.

Before he was born, the Novune Forces approached Hiro's parents because they knew that he would be born as a dual elemental. Part of their goal was to raise several dual type children to become human weapons--they targeted dual type babies specifically because they're said to be more powerful since they can use more than one elemental type.

It was the perfect opportunity for Hiro's parents because at the time they were not ready for a child despite agreeing that they were going to have it. Ofc the Forces did not reveal their plans so to them it turned into a nice surrogate parent situation where Hiro's mother would give birth to him and he'd immediately be given up for adoption afterwards. It was definitely hard for them to part with him but they trusted he'd be in good care. Well. That turned out great, as you can probably tell :')

Hiro, along with Kaz and Mallary, became the Forces' iconic trio, with Hiro considered to be the golden child and the most dangerous between the three of them because of his high intellect and skill in combat. He grew up under a very strict regimen and would spend hours each day dedicated to training both his mind and his elemental powers. He's an extremely gifted psychic elemental and took to his abilities almost immediately--he’s able to read his opponents movements and set up traps before they can even get to him. He’s usually airborne for most battles he’s in; he finds it easier to strategize from a higher vantage point, and he also just likes to float around and dodge enemy attacks and act like an ass lmao. He’s a pro at immobilizing his enemies so they can no longer move, ending his battles swiftly and cleanly. Physically he’s not very powerful so he uses a magic staff to fight. His intelligence more than makes up for his lack of super strength!

He has a special power like Kaz’s extra dragon typing (and, like Kaz, he has a streak in his hair from the experimentation)—Hiro gets visions of death, basically predictions of the future, and his visions are never wrong. He’s able to see who dies in battle and the Forces use this to their advantage so that they can prepare around any casualties. Hiro hates getting these visions because he doesn’t like seeing people die, he witnesses their last moments and it’s certainly traumatizing for him;; and like Kaz, this power was something he only unlocked through lots of experimentation on him, so he usually passes out for hours after getting a vision since it’s not a “natural” ability he was born with.

As for his second typing, it was something he never really clicked with. Forest elementals have to be very attuned to nature and are generally more kindhearted and gentle people, but since Hiro grew up in a base with only limited access to the outside (and because he’s forced into acting as an antagonist), his forest elemental powers were repressed over the years. He’s already powerful enough as a psychic elemental so he doesn’t feel the need to resort to a second power, especially since his superiors viewed his second typing as useless and he never received proper training on how to use it. He's already a huge threat as he is so they said good enough. The Forces believe that if something is useless, throw it away, so they eventually abandoned any hope of him succeeding in bettering his forest powers, and focused solely on enhancing his psychic abilities and making his death visions clearer.

Before Hiro became the cold-hearted and snarky colonel that the Forces know him as, he was actually a very kind child with an aversion to violence, and cried often. That got forced out of him pretty quickly though--he learned right away that disobedience means punishment and the only way to pay for his mistakes is by verbal and physical abuse. Poor baby :'( He and Kaz and Mallary go through a LOT of unfair shit as kids. The event that really drove home his intense determination and flawless record was the first mission he was ever sent out on.

This happened when he was around 13. Usually members of the Forces don't get to go out on solo missions unless they have a high position or are old enough to, but he was the exception because of his talent and because it was an experiment to see if he could handle it. His mission was to infiltrate a small, family run guild and basically gather intel and find out what their agenda was, as there were rumors they knew of some of the Forces’ plans. Upon Hiro’s arrival to the town where the guild was situated, he ends up rescuing the Guildmaster’s daughter, Lorelai, who is around his age. Unknowingly, he triggered his forest elemental powers, which caused them to land in a field of flowers he’d bloomed. Because of this, Lorelai starts to call him Flower, since he couldn’t come up with a codename in time and he doesn’t have a real name anyway lol

A couple weeks pass and Hiro spends more and more time with the guild, growing closer to Lorelai and being lulled into a false sense of security. He becomes extremely jealous of how the guild lives, and is very emotional at how much of a family they are, and how sweetly they treat him. Hiro starts to ponder over whether or not he should be sneaking around behind their back, when one day the guild is attacked while he’s out. When he returns, the village is set ablaze, and when Hiro demands what’s going on, his superior informs him that he was merely a decoy to get their defenses down, since apparently the Forces had definitive proof that they knew of their plans. His superior orders Hiro to search the village and kill anybody who was left.

Hiro, panicked, searches for Lorelai, and finds her hiding in the forest nearby. He apologizes to her and has a mental breakdown, blaming himself for all of her misfortune. Lorelai realizes that he’s being kept in the Forces against his will and begs him to run away with her. Hiro knows that he’ll be hunted down if he does, and Lorelai could get hurt, so he tells her he has to stay with them. In the midst of this, they are confronted with the current colonel of the Forces, who encourages Hiro to kill Lorelai. Hiro refuses, and the colonel calls him out for insubordination. The colonel then decides to kill both of them in order to get a promotion. Hiro leaps to defend both Lorelai and himself, and in the scuffle, receives the scar on his head, and accidentally kills the colonel. Traumatized, bloodied, and terrified, Lorelai is the one to apologize to him as he cries his eyes out. Hiro numbly reassures her and tells her to run while she can. Lorelai admits that she loves him and bids him farewell, hoping that they can meet again, and that she’s sorry she can’t do more for him.

This is when Hiro decides to become the perfect agent—dangerous, cruel, and flawless, so that something like this never happens again, and so that he can have enough power to make the decisions rather than just following orders to mindlessly kill people. From then on out he does what he’s told without any complaints and has a record for never failing a single mission the Forces have given to him. Any enemy considers him to be absolutely ruthless because he does not hesitate in battles and will neutralize with no questions asked. He’s a cocky little bastard around enemies lmao he loves to snark them and tease them. He’s strictly against killing after what happened to the colonel, so instead, if it’s a high risk operation, he erases the memories of his targets to reduce the threat. Because he’s so uncomfortable with the thought of death in general he reasons that losing your memories is better than dying, and that makes it easier on the Forces as well since they’ll leave less of a trail rather than just killing people left and right. 

Growing up, Hiro didn’t interact with Kaz very much, and they usually just saw each other in passing. However they both respect each other a great amount, and they sympathize with each other, being in the same sort of situation. Both the Hiro and Kaz hate their upbringing and hold a grudge against their superiors for their treatment and experimentation on them;; As for Mallary, Hiro became enamored with her because she reminds him a lot of Lorelai (who he later admits to being his first love). He finds her strength captivating and the way she doesn’t give a shit about other people’s opinions admirable. Hiro eventually falls prey to her manipulation and falls over himself to please her, which bothers Kaz because he knows Mallary’s just toying with him.

After the Forces’ plan to kidnap Ginni and use her as a hostage blows up in their face, Hiro finds out that Kaz had escaped with her, and commends him on the extremely smart decision to do so lol. He wonders if he should start considering leaving the Forces as well, seeing as he’s mature and responsible (and smart) enough to make it on his own. He’s ordered to retrieve Kaz which was a HUGE mistake on the Forces’ part because they didn’t realize Hiro’s loyalties lied more with people on the outside. Hiro meets up with Kaz and Kaz eventually convinces him to desert the Forces and work with him to stop their plans. Hiro agrees to work as a double agent for a while, leaking all of the Forces’ information to Kaz, Ginni, and the guild. In the midst of all this, Hiro meets Olivia, who pretty much calls dibs on him and she’s like “Listen Ginni got to give Kaz his name so can I give the colonel a name?? Please???” So she starts calling him Hiro! And finally baby boy smarts up and starts crushing on a girl that actually gives a damn about him and god dammit it’s the cutest fucking case of puppy love since Dusk/Nozomi. Hiro absolutely adores her, but he’s too nervous to actually do anything about it because he’s got huge abandonment issues (thanks again bad parenting! And Mallary!) and doesn’t want to ruin one of the only genuine friendships he’s ever had. But he is head over HEELS for Olivia and it’s so……softe.

Mallary finds out that Hiro’s acting as a spy, and retaliates. Hiro realizes just how awfully she’s treated him and defeats her, allowing him to escape and officially join up with the guild.

After that it’s a whole bunch of crazy action stuff as plans come together and they get to take down the Forces. Hiro falls harder and deeper for Olivia while she remains oblivious (at least, for a little while, until she finally starts noticing). He grows closer to Kaz and Ginni as well, and begins connecting with Kaz on a deep level because of their shared history. (They’re kind of like brothers, and Hiro considers him to be his best friend :’) )

Once the Forces are defeated, Hiro and Kaz both decide to go on a journey of self discovery in order to better themselves and learn more about the world they haven’t seen due to being locked up for so many years. Kaz and Ginni are already on the verge of forming a relationship, but with Olivia and Hiro it’s still tentative since she’s unsure and he still feels inadequate as a romantic partner. Olivia admits that she likes him and Hiro is so happy he’s ready to burst, but then he realizes it’s not the right time for them to be together so he gently rejects her. (Olivia takes this as an actual rejection tho not a “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with you yet tho I WANT to” and Ginni’s like YA’LL ARE SO DUMB I S2G).

Hiro and Kaz go their separate ways, and Hiro travels around for a while! He eventually settles in a lovely little village where he learns about his forest elemental powers and how to use them better. He’s finally able to connect with other people and essentially becomes way softer around the edges, revealing the true personality he had when he was a kid. A year or so passes and suddenly Kaz, Ginni and Olivia show up to reunite with him, and not long after that Hiro and Olivia FINALLY get together and start dating 😔👌 (Ginni: TOOK you look enough, god)

At some point the four of them go on a journey together and Hiro runs into his biological parents again…!! And he finds out he has a younger sister and they all reconnect and it’s SO EMOTIONAL

Other than that I think that’s all I have 🤔 Thanks for reading though this epic rollercoaster ride of a story plot lol!

Extra personality traits

-Hiro’s sarcasm and snarkiness is a defense mechanism to prevent anybody from seeing his vulnerable side, and also a way to trick the fear inside of him. Kaz is the one to point this out actually lol

-Despite that he does enjoy teasing people lightheartedly and being sassy, once he gets comfortable enough with them! There is a difference between his snarkiness towards enemies compared to that towards friends

-Is EXTREMELY loyal to the people he cares about. At first he tends to act prickly and kind of standoffish towards people he doesn’t know well. Over time he becomes more open to trusting others. Once you earn his trust and he deems you worthy of his friendship he instantly becomes softer and kinder haha, it’s like a switch

-Often dismisses people that he thinks aren’t worth his time or aren’t smart enough to hold an intelligent conversation with him

-Spends a lot of time reading and gathering knowledge. He is very book smart—but not very people smart :’D He and Kaz will spend hours in the guild’s library, since they’re both very thirsty for information outside of what they studied during their time in the Forces

-Touch starved as FUCK. He flips his shit every time somebody touches him in a friendly way, and will melt into a puddle if he gets hugged

-He can be very nosy and insensitive sometimes, prying into other people’s personal affairs if he thinks he can solve the issue

-Absolutely a tactics expert. He calculates all of his moves very carefully, and uses prediction tactics to leave no room for error. He enjoys coming up with mock battle situations to challenge himself.

-Very self-sacrificial;; he views the lives of those he cares about to be far more important than his own. He’ll lay his life on the line for his friends in an instant

-Is the person in the group who is the least fond of violence. If he can find a way around injuring someone, he’ll do it. He prefers to restrict his enemy’s movements or slow them down so they can’t fight back. He is VERY good at neutralizing opponents before they can even register it

-SUPER speedy. Due to his small size he’s very quick, most people don’t see him coming

-He’s really sensitive about his height fjmaksldmas he snaps at people who make fun of him for it

-Tends to levitate when he’s in deep thought. Olivia finds this very cute

-Blooms flowers when he’s happy/embarrassed

-He’s actually. A very talented dancer :0 During his year away from the guild he learned a lot of folk dances at the village he was living in, and when the others witness it they get really starstruck because it’s super mesmerizing!! He blooms flowers as he dances

-At his core he’s a very compassionate character!!

-After escaping from the Forces, he’s able to express his emotions more openly, and goes back to the way he was as a child. He’s a crybaby :’) He cries whenever someone he cares about gets hurt

-The only person in the group with the fucking brain cell, and the most rational one. Unless Olivia gets involved, then he gets stupid and flustered lmao

[astrarche-x]

Six of Crows (+ Crooked Kingdom)

If somebody gave a penny for my thoughts on books, I’d have zero pennies, but here are my thoughts anyway!

It’s not a very spoiler-heavy note.

I know I’m super late to the party, but it’s only a month left to read the book before the show is released and that was a motivation to finally read it. (That and the fact that I have 3 written assignments due the end of the week). 

- I haven’t read the Grisha trilogy, but Six of Crows was perfectly understandable without it, so that’s an asset. I wouldn’t mind knowing more about the war in Ravka, but generally it was ok.

- Found family in a juvenile delinquents gang is one of my favorite tropes in fiction and this book is all about that, so I was absolutely delighted. I liked how it wasn’t very obviously sugar-coated - obviously it wasn’t horribly realistic (I guess), but it avoided the Robin Hood or “criminal with a heart of gold” trope and that was nice, because it would reek of moralism.

- I liked the descriptions of the architecture etc. and could almost feel myself walking through the streets of Ketterdam. But the descriptions of Fjerda were very inconsistent to me in regard to the rest of the novel - I kinda felt like I was thrown from historical fiction to sci-fi (all that laboratory stuff) and that was weird.

- The action was very well-paced - without unneccessary delays and plot detours, but at the same time giving the characters and the reader time to breathe and bond. The only aspect I wasn’t satisfied with was the ending - it was too easy to predict the plot twist and it drained away the suspense and the sense of high stakes. And while some could say that it means that the writer set it up well, I think it would be better if it was unexpected, especially given that it’s not the kind of plot twist that changes the reader’s perception of the whole book, it just marked the turn in the action.

- post-CK addition: in Crooked Kingdom I felt that the action was moving a lot faster and left me quite exhausted at times. The moments to catch a breath were a bit too rare, but at least exuisite every time.

- While I’m rather glad that the “multiple POV” trend is dying, it was pulled off well in “Six of Crows”, because the narrative was in 3rd person. That allowed readers to switch rather effortlessly between the chapters while still directing their focus to a particular character.

- the characters, aka the best thing in this book: they are all lovable in their own ways and honestly I can’t decide who’s my favourite (jk jk it’s Matthias and Inej). I think that the number of characters is just right, not too big and confusing, but allowing for diversity in narratives. I only had an impression that characterization of Wylan was dropped halfway through the book and he’s been a plot device for solving technical problems most of the time, which is kinda sad. Also his change in personality was a bit unexpected. 

- post-CK addition: ok, Wylan got his POV & his development, but I still feel like 75% of his character are family problems. I hope that maybe a reread in a few months will make me appreciate him more. 

- Nina and Matthias: my absolutely favourite subplot (and ship in this book). It’s been a while since I’ve read so well executed enemies to lovers. The emotional and sexual tension between them! The desire to love vs the memory of past wrongdoings! The wish to trust and be vulnerable again vs the fear of betrayal! Them disagreeing on fundamental issues but finding points of mutual understanding nevertheless! Them caring for each other more than they care about their causes, even though the causes are everything! The banter! I just... can’t. Their story is such a good blend of cuteness and dark themes. I found it extremely interesting when the first chapter from Matthias’ POV showed how he was kinda deranged by his stay in prison and his desire for revenge and for love that were knit together so thight. Whereas he more or less regained his sanity as the book progressed (I wish it was more developed) he was still very much not in the best mental state and that made him a wild card, so the plot twists involving him were convincing. I also think that his disillusionment with his religious militia was quite well-written (as for an adventure novel, that is, where it was not the main plot). I liked how Matthias was trying to play 4D chess with the rest of the crew with his schemes and Nina joined him in part. Also the scene when the Crows try to get back to their ship in Fjerda and Nina gets shot, but heals herself so fast... Damn, that was some king shit. I love their dynamic, even though it’s the epitome of problematic(tm) by tumblr, but oh well, I’m all in for eros/thanatos motives and some good chemistry. One thing I feel their relationship lacked were the sex scenes - this is probably due to the book being technically YA (and that’s another reason why writing it for a bit older audiences would be ok), but both Nina and Matthias are so horny for each other that I find it impossible that they’ve never had sex. 

- post-CK addition: my heart is broken but Matthias’ character arc? Pure gold. I was so proud when he started questioning his religious beliefs and tried to reconcile them with his love for Nina. Love one redempted magic fascist. Also poor Nina... I still kinda don’t understand why their subplot had to end like this - and it’s really tempting me to read King of Scars.

- Inej’s moral/religious dilemmas were so good and I identified with them a lot (not that I’ve killed someone, but still). Also I found her characterization to be top notch, because she clearly isn’t an extrovert, but is not reduced to “i have no social skills” stereotype. I love her. 

- Kaz was a briliant character and his plans were so well written... But I have one issue with them: especially in Crooked Kingdom, when there’s a plot twist, it’s usually revealed to be just another layer of Kaz’s plan. When does he have the time to set it all up? I know he barely sleeps, but still, it feels like it kinda gets out of nowhere. But generally I’m all for scheming, ass-kicking gang boss. I also like the fact that he was still a very skilled fighter despite his disability, which allowed the author to escape the “disabled body means he can only use his mind” trope (which is justified sometimes, but still). And his trauma was so well-written... Honestly, the first full flashback with Kaz clutching to Jordie’s decaying body was one of the two most disturbing scenes in the novel (the other being Kaz ripping Oomen’s eye off) and I kinda wasn’t prepared for this. On the other hand, the bathroom scene in Crooked Kingdom with Inej? It was so beautiful, so well-crafted, so intimate; I felt the world stand still for a while. 

- me looking at Jesper: adhd

 I found him very relatable in terms of escaping his problems and felt sorry for his gambling addiction. But I wish his struggle over his powers was more expanded - he is shown being in two minds about this, but we as readers don’t really get full insight into the pros & cons of both option. But maybe it’s just the character’s specific way of going more by gut feeling and I’m being picky.

- a pet peeve of mine: if the author was really going so hard for the tzarist Russia vibe for Ravka, why did she name her character “Zoya Nazyalensky” and not “Zoya NazyalenskA” or, even better, “NazyalenskAYA” as it should be? C’mon, names ending in -sky have their female counterparts and it’s not hard to understand. 

- what was a bit of obstacle to immerse myself fully in the Six of Crows was the fact that the whole novel was so well-planned and logical that I sometimes felt like watching the author’s creative process unveil - and while it would be helpful if I was looking for writing tips, I was there to have good fun and forget about my assignments, so it kinda got in the way. It was like “ok, I want them to get inside the prison... but how they’re going to do it? Ha, I know: the jailers’ carriage. Next: what happens next in prisons? Oh right, they will be searched and... probably put in new clothes. So no clothing and no weapons means it’s time for Jesper’s big reveal. This is where I pepper in his crush on Kaz. I can cross this off the list of his character development now”. The Crooked Kingdom was better in this aspect - as the characters’ subplots were more separated and the chronology was going in loops (character A’s POV ends with all people parting ways --> character B’s chapter describes their mission --> character C’s chapter starts again at the end of character A’s POV), it was more natural and captivating read. 

- Kuwei was... very forgettable. I actually for most of the time totally forgot he was a character. I know he wasn’t a main character, but I feel like I know more about Specht and Rotty, some totally secondary gang members, than him. 

[queen-of-bel]

i think someone already asked for paz and kaz?? if not then them, in case someone asked for them, kandori and maki for the hc meme!

MY TWO FAVE DUOS EVER. i’ll do them all bc i could fill out a hundred prompts about them

Persona 1, Persona 2EP, general Metal Gear spoilers incoming

Putting under a read more because it is loooong (sorry in advance)

Kandori

realistic: Oh, Kandori was absolutely the one who alerted Nanjo to his existence in p2ep. I’ve written multiple posts on Kandori’s motivations, but bottom line, Kandori wanted to work against Nyarlathotep’s plans as much as he believed his fate would allow him to. Kandori had infinite strength and should have been the impenetrable stronghold that kept Tatsuzou safe. He is the only boss in the entire game to not have a low health stance, and he resists everything. He’s able to catch Tatsuya’s sword with one hand, as Tatsuya says:

“Kandori tilts his face out of the way, and when my blade grazes his ear, he grabs it with his left hand. All I have to do is pull back, and it’ll cost him his fingers. He gives me a broad, natural smile. However, even when I yank it with all my strength, my sword doesn’t move a centimeter. It’s like it’s caught in a vise.”

Kandori’s revival should not have been found out by anyone (especially since everyone watched him die the first time). But somehow, the word leaked back to Nanjo. It’s not impossible to think that it was Togashi who leaked the information, but there’s a line of Kandori’s that really makes me think Kandori himself was the source.

Once Maya et. al + Tatsuya arrive on the Nichinmaru, Kandori says that “all the players are in place”, implying that he’s the one who brought them all together like this. This was a very meticulously crafted plan, and it only could’ve worked if Nanjo heard of Kandori’s revival, which leads me to believe that it was Kandori, not Togashi, who spread the rumors of his own revival.

while it may not be realistic, it is hilarious: Due to the high levels of contempt he feels for Tatsuzou, I’d love to think that Kandori just fucks with Tatsuzou constantly. He’ll move all the furniture in Tatsuzou’s office just a few inches to the left, or he’ll swap the position of some of the books on his shelf. It’s infuriating to Tatsuzou bc Kandori’s antics are just enough that he knows something is off, but he can never pinpoint exactly what it is. Kandori, meanwhile, insists that nothing is wrong, and convinces Tatsuzou that it’s just his old age getting to him.

heart-crushing and awful: I bet Kandori kept tabs on the P1 crew during his time under Tatsuzou. While he’s said to have an obsession with Tatsuya, there’s no reason to believe that the care he showed for Maki in P1 went away, and he’s grateful to the P1 cast for saving her. I like to think that Kandori found out that Reiji’s going to have a child, and stashed away a large amount of money (bonus points if he embezzled from Tatsuzou) to send to him, especially since Reiji’s girlfriend’s house collapsed. Kandori doesn’t sign his name on it or anything, so the money arrives to Reiji in an unmarked envelope, with only Reiji’s name written on it.

Reiji first thinks that it might have been Nanjo who sent the money (because that envelope is packed, and Nanjo is the only person he knows rich enough to send that much). Nanjo denies this, and after a while, the two of them come to the conclusion that the only other possible person could have been Kandori. Reiji thankfully accepts the money, and this whole incident reinforces in his mind that “Takashi” was the right name to choose for his son.

unrealistic: In order to cope with the boredom and emptiness he felt as SEBEC’s Mikage-Cho branch president, Kandori set up a secret room in SEBEC filled with video game consoles. During the height of his depression, Kandori would just be so engrossed in his games that he would forget he has actual meetings to go to. Cue Takeda apologizing profusely to clients, saying that Kandori’s running a bit late, and Takeda has to practically drag Kandori by the collar out of the little gamer den that he’s created for himself.

Maki

realistic: After her training under Eriko, she realizes that she misses painting and wants to pick it up again. She eventually incorporates that into her profession, becoming an art therapist.

while it may not be realistic, it is hilarious: Maki really wants to be good at baking, but she’s terrible at it. You know, like this:

She knows that she’s created a monstrosity but at least it’s still edible, right? So she brings these to P1 cast reunions. Nanjo is just appalled, and has to excuse himself because he knows he’s just going to be too blunt (prompting Mark to call him a “dickweed” again). Yuka, having no filter, just straight up says how horrible they look, but then she offers to teach Maki how to bake, since she’s pretty damn good at it herself.

heart-crushing and awful: Maki definitely regrets not accompanying Maya to the Nichinmaru. She doesn’t blame Nanjo/Eriko for not being able to save Kandori, but ever since she heard that Kandori was alive again, she’s wanted nothing more than to talk to him again.

She thinks that if she were there at the undersea ruins, maybe she could have convinced him to come along with her. This regret is just going to add to the massive amounts of guilt she feels over the Mikage-Cho incident.

unrealistic: It took ideal Maki a while to perfect her “cringe” negotiation. When she first tried it, she would burst out laughing too much, absolutely ruining it, and angering a lot of demons along the way.

Paz

realistic: Kaz has constantly asked her to come feed treats to Nuke with him. She’s always agreed, because that’s the role she’s supposed to play, but she really hates it at first. Eventually, as she comes to like Kaz more, it becomes the highlight of her day, and she begins to really look forward to it. She finds herself prolonging Nuke’s feeding sessions, just so she can spend more time with Nuke and Kaz.

while it may not be realistic, it is hilarious: So you know how Paz couldn’t stand Kaz at first? She wasn’t exactly subtle about it, so everyone at MSF knew that Paz thought Kaz was an enormous idiot. Cecile was so happy to find someone else who felt that way about Kaz (and she’s always wanted a reason to get closer to Paz), so she goes to Paz to air her grievances about what a pest Monsieur Miller is being. Paz, meanwhile, does not give a single shit. She still thinks Cecile is just a ditz, and now she’s irritated that she has to deal with both Kaz and Cecile’s annoying antics.

heart-crushing and awful: I’ve thought about this for a long time. I really have. But there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can be any more awful than what we got in canon. I have a lot of characters that fall under the “deserved better” category, but Paz takes the top of that list.

Paz is a unique character in Metal Gear in that she was not supposed to have anything to do with war. Other characters’ lives in the series were intertwined with war, whether by choice or by fate. Even characters like Chico or Sunny were born into it, given their parents and upbringing. 

It’s never clear how Zero was able to come in contact with Paz, but I think it was intentional to never specify it. It’s not important to know how Zero found Paz, because fundamentally, Paz is not an important person. She’s nobody special. She was literally just some random orphan living in the US, and Zero went out of his way to drag her into his plans.

To me, Paz’s character parallels the child soldiers in Zanzibar Land. They’re both representative of how ruthless Zero and Big Boss were in their quests to fulfill their interpretations of the Boss’ will. Zero and Big Boss were both willing to employ any tactic possible to reach this end goal, and they didn’t care about the pain and destruction they left in their path.

But I digress...

That being said, I think Paz felt sick when she saw MSF soldiers playing with the mini remote-controlled ZEKE that Huey had built. For her, it was just a reminder of the duty that she had to carry out. She wasn’t allowed to be happy at MSF, and she eventually would have to fight to the death with Snake.

unrealistic: Writing Love Deterrence with Kaz and Zadornov made her want to learn how to play the guitar. In my totally self-indulgent “Zero and Skull Face both get brain aneurysms and drop dead 4 days before Peace Day” AU, Paz approaches Kaz and asks him to give her guitar lessons.

Kaz

realistic: The morning after the monthly birthday party at MSF (you know, where Kaz invited everyone to see the real Kazuhira Miller?), he’s embarrassed as hell. He been so protective of Paz the entire night, and it turned out he was the crudest person at the party. He goes to apologize to Paz, and can barely look her in the eyes as he’s doing so. Paz, meanwhile, can’t stop laughing. Her opinion of Kaz had been softening ever since he visited her when she was sick, but interacting with him during the party had really made her like him. Kaz still feels a bit of shame, but upon seeing Paz genuinely laugh for the first time, he can’t help but feel so publicly embarrassing himself was all worth it.

while it may not be realistic, it is hilarious: MORE 90S FOXHOUND PETTINESS

The first year that both Big Boss and Kaz are at FOXHOUND, Kaz bakes a cake for BB’s birthday. As BB accepts the cake, he wonders if Kaz has forgiven him, but then he looks down at it and sees

And these are the cheapest, shittiest cigarettes that Kaz could make, because you know his petty ass rolled them himself. BB picks up a cigarette and it’s so sloppily rolled that it immediately falls apart and the tobacco spills all over the cake and the floor and BB looks up to Kaz and Kaz is just smiling back like

heart-crushing and awful: Ohoho, I have many thoughts as to Master Miller’s life post-Zanzibar Land and his final moments. Now that Big Boss is finally dead, Kaz’s life loses all meaning. Skull Face, Huey, Big Boss, they’re all dead, and suddenly, the decades of anger he carried with him has nowhere to channel itself to. I think he becomes an empty shell of a man, just sort of running on autopilot.

So when Ocelot breaks into Kaz’s house to kill him, you absolutely know that Ocelot wasn’t discrete about it. There’s no way that Ocelot’s overdramatic cowboy ass didn’t gloat about it, to show that he was able to get the upper hand in the end.

Kaz just doesn’t care.

Kaz’s life is plagued with regrets. While none of it was intentional, his impulsivity and short-sightedness has really screwed over a lot of people and absolutely destroyed so many people’s lives. I think when Ocelot came to kill Kaz (and I’m going to toss in a bit of torture, just because Ocelot’s petty ass remembers Kaz complaining about Ocelot’s getting “too many kicks from his ‘art of interrogation’”), Kaz just resigned and doesn’t even attempt to fight back. He knows that this is a sad and undignified way to die, but he believes that this is karma and he deserves it.

unrealistic: Okay I’ve talked about this a little, but I want to add to it.

Kaz absolutely kept a Burn Book like in Mean Girls.

After MGSV, Big Boss and Ocelot make their way in the book as well. Underneath Ocelot’s picture, Kaz writes “Too gay to function. Also, cowboys are stupid.” BB has got 5 whole pages dedicated to him, but the line that Kaz is most proud of is “Didn't shower for a month... during SUMMER, and to this day still hasn't washed his hair.”

Thank you for asking!

send me a character and i’ll give you some headcanons

[destination-despairing]

so I was toying with this idea I got from a couple tiktok cosplayers and the concept that the remnants of despair tended to take their despair out on their own bodies, the idea being basically that Kazuichi dabbled in drugs pretty hard during his time as a remnant and ends up in pretty bad shape when waking up from the program. I wrote two alternatives and they’re both fairly heavy so mind warnings for drug use and self harm mention, I’m gonna put them both under the cut here

Kazuichi trapped his hands under his arms to make them stop shaking. He was sweating more than usual, and felt a bit dizzy as he listened to Hajime speak.

"Medical care is the most important part," he said. "We all woke up with some problem ke another. Immediately after waking everyone should be taken to me or later if she's available, Mikan, for a physical."

Kazuichi took a shaky breath.

"Next after that is psychological health, therapy should start immediately. Starting with us."

"Pfft, great, and that's you? Who's gonna give you therapy, tough guy?" Fuyuhiko said.

"Uh, no," Hajime was using his usual sass but still had the unsettling blank face and long hair of Kamukura, so it wasn't as funny when he added: "you couldn't pay me to be in more than one remnant mind, I'll stick to my own thanks. Makoto is offering online sessions with therapists briefed on the situation."

"Hey, what about the cottages?" Akane asked. "We should fix those up, right?"

Kazuichi tried to listen, but everything after that became a blur. The "family meeting" ended and he almost didn't notice. Luckily, Akane accidentally brushed against him as she was leaving, bringing him back to the present.

"Kazuichi."

"Wha?!" He jumped a mile at Hajime's sudden presence inches away.

"We need to talk." Hajime's mismatched eyes zeroed in on him, read through his lies and got to his core. He could tell, he started sweating more, wiped at his forehead with a trembling hand.

"Sure," he laughed nervously, following Hajime into the next room.

Hajime went to the desk in the center of the room and opened a drawer. "So. I found these in with your stuff back when Makoto and the others gave it all back."

Kazuichi froze as Hajime pulled out a nondescript black pouch, about as big as his hand.

So that's where they've been.

He reached for it without realizing, eyes widening, and froze when Hajime closed his hand around it.

"You're going through withdrawal," he said.

"I'm just feeling a little under the weather," Kazuichi lied, his eyes following Hajime's hand as they both sat down on either side of the desk.

Hajime opened the pouch, and Kazuichi resisted the urge to just grab it, to scream: "it's none of your business! They're mine and I need them."

Hajime ignored some of the baggies, others he removed some of the contents and started dosing out.

"We don't have any medicine for this sort of thing yet," he said. "I don't think they knew, or they would have had it on hand. So I'm going to have to wean you off."

"T… that's just cruel," Kazuichi whined, biting his lip so hard it bled. "Either I'm taking them and I suck but I feel good, or I don't and I suffer as a good person."

"Addiction isn't black and white like that," Hajime said.

"Of course it is!" Kazuichi snapped, thinking about his childhood home full of beer bottles with the labels peeled off.

"You were in despair," Hajime reminded him. "A lot of us did things to our bodies during that time, and all of us have to heal from them."

He slowly pulled up his sleeve and revealed an array of brutal scars. Kazuichi's eyes widened, wondering when and why Izuru had done that.

"This is how you heal," Hajime said. "I'm not giving you the option, just like I wouldn't give Fuyuhiko the option to keep the necrotic eye if he had wanted to."

Kazuichi's leg bounced, he'd thrown up fifteen minutes ago and he felt sick again already.

"I took more than that…" he said quietly.

"This is how much you get." Hajime pushed the drugs across the desk to him, and Kazuichi waited all of five agonizing and prideful seconds before snatching them up. 

"... thanks." He sniffled, hating it was Hajime of all people who caught him, this amazing guy he looked up to.

Of course, that just meant he really trusted Hajime to look after him.

"Now, while this is mandatory, I'm going to give you the option to tell me whether or not you want me to ask Makoto to provide you with addiction counselors. Don't decide now, come and tell me whenever you're ready."

Kazuichi nodded. "Thanks…"

Hajime's face softened, pushing past the cold Kamukura glare. "I'll stick with you through this, okay? You're my friend. I'm not mad or disappointed. Just… concerned."

Kazuichi wiped at his eyes, unable to stop the silent tears. "M-mhmm."

Hajime reached across the desk, and Kazuichi took his hand, feeling comforted by the human sensation of one hand gently squeezing another.

"M'gonna go take these… before I puke again," he said after awhile. 

"Want me to come with you?" Hajime asked. Kazuichi wondered if Hajime would keep an eye on him anyway, then decided he didn't care. He'd earned that kind of scrutiny, and Hajime had already said he wasn't judging him.

"Yeah, thanks, man."

Hajime hadn’t seen Kazuichi in some time, and the last time he’d seen him he’d been acting strangely. 

He didn’t know what it was, just that the Kazuichi in the real world somehow seemed less reliable and steady than the one in the program. Seemed less quick on his feet, less creative, less loud. 

He knew they’d all gone through hell and there was a recovery period, but he was worried maybe Kazuichi was just stuck like this, and that hurt worse than he thought it would. He missed Kazuichi. 

“Hey, Kaz?” he knocked on the door. “Didn’t see you at breakfast.”

Silence.

“... hey, can I come in?” he asked.

Silence again.

“I’m coming in, put on some pants if you don’t have any,” he joked weakly, just wanting to hear that crybaby screech Kazuichi always broke into when you teased him too hard. 

He opened the door and stepped inside, not seeing Kazuichi at first. Then he looked down and saw the crumpled figure leaning against the wall.

“Kaz!” he ran over, lifting him slightly and patting his cheek. “Kazuichi?”

Kazuichi’s eyes barely opened. “Wha…?”

“What happened?” Hajime asked, voice panicked, his fingers going to Kazuichi’s pulse.

“... huh?” Kazuichi’s head wouldn’t stay up on its own.

“Kazuichi. What happened?”

“... hm?” Kazuichi just seemed confused and lifeless, eyes closing again.

Hajime grabbed him, pulling hard on the part of his mind where Izuru kept their talent as he rushed to the hospital.

The last thing Kazuichi remembered was finally feeling again.

That numb tickle that traveled from behind him into his body, whispered in his ear that he could let go. 

So he had.

He thought maybe someone had talked to him, and as he started to wake he knew it hadn’t been his imagination, because he wasn’t in his room anymore and Hajime was standing at the foot of his bed.

“... Hajime?” he asked, voice hoarse.

“... so, I found these in your room,” Hajime said, opening his hand to reveal the pair of orange prescription bottles long ago filled with a variety of things that weren’t on the label.

Kazuichi felt cold dread take hold of him, both at the idea that Hajime had found him high and that his drugs were confiscated for sure. “Hajime, I-”

“Your heart stopped last night. I had to resuscitate you. Twice.” Hajime hung his head so low Kazuichi couldn’t see his expression. 

“S-shit…” Kazuichi couldn’t stand the thought of Hajime being mad at him. They were friends, he was probably the only friend he had left, because there’s no way the others didn’t know about this, he’d never tried to hide it back when they were all Despair and doing things to their bodies just to feel something in the new numb world they’d encountered. Now Hajime knew too, and he’d leave, and he’d be all alone… “I’m so sorry, Hajime,” Kazuichi felt tears springing to his eyes. “I know I messed up, I know I’m the worst and you must hate me and-”

He paused, because Hajime had lifted his head again and he looked terrified with wide eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“You scared me, you asshole,” he sobbed, wiping at his eyes pathetically before rushing over and pulling Kazuichi into a hug.

Kazuichi’s own crying only got worse at that. He hugged Hajime back as hard as his weak arms would let him, hiding his face against Hajime’s shoulder and shaking as his friend clung to him like he was afraid he’d slip away.

“I’m sorry…” he repeated himself.

“It’s okay, just don’t scare me again,” Hajime huffed. “I… I can’t lose you.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“I wouldn’t be mad at you for having the flu or depression, just scared that it was out of my hands,” he said, pulling away and cupping Kazuichi’s face in his hands. “You know I have to do something about this, right?”

“I’ll… I’ll be careful…”

“No, you won’t,” Hajime said, shaking his head knowingly. “So I’m going to be careful now, okay?”

Kazuichi nodded, biting his thumb and trying to stop crying.

Hajime stroked his hair, seeming unable to stop being in contact with him. He wiped Kazuichi’s tears before finally pulling away to wipe his own. 

“This is gonna suck, but you have to let me do it,” he said. “If you fight me on this too hard… if you don’t get better, then I have to tell Makoto and ask him to find you treatment off the island.”

“Yeah, sounds fair.” Kazuichi gritted his teeth and looked down.

“... I’m glad you’re okay,” Hajime said.

“Thank you for making me okay,” Kazuichi said, figuring if he said sorry one more time Hajime might just kick his ass. 

Hajime nodded, and reached over to stroke his hair one last time before leaving to get things ready.

[asthora]

The Last Dance, Pt. 3

The board is set and it’s time for the games to begin. Benny is back in Vegas but what exactly does that mean? Benny puts his boys in their place.  Indy tugs the leash. The Mojave calls their names.  Part three of my Benny x Courier saga. Parts one & two. 

Two Weeks Later

Benny is a fucking king.

He sits at a poker table with a broad on either side.  One’s a redhead, the other a blond.  No brunettes but he ain’t one to complain about a pretty bird.  

“Blow on the dice baby,” he says. “It’s for good luck.”

The blonde winks at him, pulls back her silky hair, and blows on the dice.  He throws, not giving a shit whether his luck is good or bad.  It’s his goddamn casino so whatever money he loses goes right back into his well lined pockets.

“Oh look at that,” he says, not even bothering to glance at the dice. “A perfect roll.”

He forgets about the game.  He’s bored.  He wants to mingle.  Swank is in charge of the floor tonight so he’s got time to do a little snooping, make some connections, listen to the latest gossip on the strip.  Word on the street is, the courier hasn’t been seen in two weeks.  He certainly hasn’t seen her since their little soiree at the fort.  Much as he misses her cute little face, he doesn’t mind.  Given him the space he’s needed to figure out his next moves.

“Baby, why don’t you go get us all a drink?” He whispers to the redhead.  “And you pussycat, go see about getting the music in here turned up.  It’s so goddamn loud I can barely hear Frank’s crooning.”

His girls giggle and scatter.  Good, he’s bored.  Time to disappear.  Benny dusts off his coat and heads over to where Swank and some of his boys are lounging at the edge of the casino floor.  They straighten when they see him.  

“Ben-man!” Swank says, clapping him on the back. “You know, having you back is still the highlight of my day.”

Benny raises his eyebrows.  He’s so full of shit.  Swank was eyeing his position the day he stepped foot out of The Tops.  When Benny walked back through those doors Swank’s face fell so far he was afraid he might not get it back.  He’s glad his second is enough of a coward not to challenge him.  Sticking Swank would be a lot harder than sticking Bingo, not because Swank can best him, hell no, but because Swank ain’t bad.  But he would kill him if he had to...right?  Definitely, he thinks. Of course I would.  For Vegas.

“How’s the ole’ girl running?” Benny asks, taking out a cigarette and placing it between his lips.

“Humming along like a dream,” he smiles. “Ever since that broad took the helm our profits have been aces.  Never done better business, boss.”

Benny grunts and lights his cig.  Indy had his old lighter delivered to his room with a lovely little note that reminded him he was nothing more than a mutt begging at her feet.  Bitch literally drew a fucking dog after she signed her name.  

“You leaving anytime soon, boss?” Katz asks.  Benny slowly turns to the dumb, mousy lookin’ bouncer.  He can barely fill out his suit.  Benny is surprised he’s lasted this long.  Katz was one of the Boot Riders, just a kid when they sauntered through those flashing Vegas gates.

“You know Katz, it’s rude to ask a man’s business.  Anyone ever told you that?”

Katz goes red in the face. “I-I’m sorry boss.  Just, just wanted to know.”

“Yeah, well keep your wonderings to yourself.  Alright?”

Katz nods and Benny sucks on his cig.  He surveys the casino floor.  Swank hastily tells Kaz to go check on security by the door and the little runt runs off like he’s had a fire lit under his ass.

“He’s asked a good question you know,” Swank says after a few moments. “You’re sticking around this time, right?”

Benny closes his eyes slowly then opens them. “I’ll do as I please, Swank.  But for now, I’m not leaving.”

“We just gotta know,” he says quietly. “You just left us, boss.  If it weren’t for In- Benny spins and leans in close to his second.  He fucking dares Swank to say her name.  He’ll skin him alive right now if he even mentions the courier.  

“Just because I’m not here to mop up everyone’s spilled milk doesn’t mean this place goes to shit, you hear me?  We don’t need that bitch to settle our own affairs.  Understand?”

Swank is stony. “Yeah, boss.  Platinum.”

He stares at Swank for a good solid ten seconds before he turns around and walks away.  Benny smokes his cig until he reaches the filter then throws it in an overflowing ashtray by the slot machines.  Why does the courier have to pepper every single conversation, huh?  Why is she the savior?  This is his casino, his game.  His boys.  Fuck her, she doesn’t get to have a say in his kingdom.

“Calm down, Benny.” He mutters to himself, slicking back his hair and tugging at the lapels of his checkered coat.  He’s getting worked up over nothing.  He’s back.  She can’t put her dirty fingers on The Tops ever again, not until the day his heart stops beating and the his lungs stop breathing air.  And he’ll have Vegas again.  One day. Maybe not tomorrow but she can’t keep hold of his baby forever.

Benny heads up to the stairs to the theater where the Rad Pack is singing an 18 karat cover of Dean Martin’s Sway.  He heads to the bar hoping that a little drink will help calm his nerves.  He’s been too jumpy lately, not himself.

“Whiskey neat,” he says to the bartender.  He leans against the tabletop and watches the stage for a moment before he starts on another cigarette.  The bartender, Charlie, slides him his drink and he takes a sip.

“You know, I almost missed you.”

Benny jumps.  Goddamn.  There she is, creeping up on him again.  The courier stands before him, covered in Mojave from head to toe.  Looks like she just stepped into town and decided to stop by and share a few neighborly hellos.

“You ever shower, baby?” He asks.

“What’s the point in showering when I’ve got to clean up everyone’s shit?” She asks, leaning against the bartop.

“Be careful then.  Don’t want you ruining the upholstery.”

Indy rolls her clear eyes and turns to Charlie. “Gin and tonic.”

“Surprise, surprise.  Thought you might be a white wine kinda girl.” He says.

She doesn’t even bother to look at him.  Indy grabs her drink and kicks it back like it’s water.

“What have you been up to since I’ve been gone?” She asks.  Straight to business, as always.

“Cleaning up the mess I left behind.  Checking the books, stomping out cats who’ve been singing.  You ain’t one of mine if you’ve been humming a tune about me.  I don’t like rumors.”

That’s a lie.  He loves rumors.  Rumors are the sea upon which Vegas floats.  See, rumors ain’t too bad.  Somewhere in them, there’s some truth.  It was once a rumor that House had a secret army.  Then it was a fact that he could put some oomph in his securitrons and rule the desert with the flick of a button.  So yeah, he loves a good rumor.  He just doesn’t care for rumors about him.

“Good call,” Indy says. “And were any of the...cats you let go Boot Riders.”

He gives her a look.  “Now why do you care?”

“Assessing how far your loyalties lie.”  She says plainly.

He watches her.  Indy stares back.  Her brown hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail and her tanned skin is peppered with light freckles.  She could be pretty.  It’s just the Mojave on her reeks.

“I believe you’re asking questions that lie in my jurisdiction.  I’ll run my casino the way I please.”

She smirks. “Yeah, well, at the end of the day hot shot, I get to ask whatever questions I want.  Oh, and I get answers too.  One way or another.”

Benny takes a drink and tears his eyes from Indy and back to the stage.  The Rad Pack is finishing up and a dame in a sparkly red dress is taking the stage.

“So did you just stop by to ask questions or are you here for something else, pally?  Or did you just wanna swing?” He asks.

Indy clears her throat. “I don’t know what that means.  Whatever, I’m here to get your help.  Pack your bags, pally.  We’re going out to do a little reconnaissance in a few days.”

“What?”

“Do you not know what that means?  Do I need to grab a dictionary for you?”

If only he could smack this broad ten ways till Sunday he fucking would!  She’s got a chip on her shoulder the size of California.  Benny blows smoke through his nose and grinds his teeth.

“I ain’t a Harv, pussycat.  I know about reconnaissance.  I just wanna know why you’re dragging me along.”

“You’ll find out when we get there.”

Benny turns back to Indy.  She doesn’t look smug for once, she looks serious.  Dead serious.  Like she knows something bad.  He straightens and puts out his cigarette.

“What am I supposed to tell my boys?” He asks lowly.

“Tell them that the courier has a business opportunity that can benefit The Tops.  Tell them nothing more, nothing less.”

“Swank will ask questions.”

“I thought you didn’t need my help running your casino?”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Benny grumbles. “I’ll handle it.”

Indy smiles. “I’ll send word when I know more.  Dust off your Mojave gear, Ben-man. “

He feels his fucking blood go cold.  It was one thing to tramp through that rad infested shithole when he was tracking the courier, it’s another to go out into with no other reason than he’s got to stay close to his handler’s heels.  Benny watches her walk out the door of the Aces with his heart hammering.  The Mojave doesn’t scare him, just reminds him of a time he thought he left behind.

The Mojave never fully lets you go.

The Singer told him that once.  Benny winces.  Another bad memory.  One he’d rather pretend didn’t happen.  He does that a lot, he pretends.  Another reason he fucked up getting Vegas.  He pretended the courier wasn’t a loose end, pretended that fucking her would solve all his problems, pretended that The Tops and Vegas were putty in his hands and he could have both and his cake.

“Stop crying in the rain, pally.” He mutters, taking one last swig and exiting the theater.

Benny stands, leaning against the railing, surveying his fragile kingdom.  Swank is back at the desk and several Chairman make the rounds, watching for thieves and tricksters.  But all is quiet on the homefront.  Except for Benny.  He feels like a swing band is going off in his head.  Then there’s that feeling in his gut like things can never be fine again.  Like he’s heading straight for nowhere a million miles a minute.

-

She sends the croaker to fetch him.  

It’s 10AM on a Saturday when Arcade, that fucking doctor goon, walks through the door.  He’s dressed like he’s ready to go scavenging through an abandoned junkyard.  Benny’s heart drops to his well shined shoes.  He knows what this means.

“You ready?” Arcade asks.  Not even a hello.

“Where we meetin’ doc?”

“Lucky 38 lobby.  You have ten minutes.”

He turns around and walks back out the door without a goodbye.  Swank is behind the check-in desk and he looks utterly confused and a bit suspicious.

“What’s going, boss?” He asks.

Benny puts on his best reassuring smile. “Got a job in the Mojave.  A business opportunity for The Tops.  I’ll be back in a few days, don’t worry about it.”

Swank just nods, brows still furrowed and a frown on his face.  Benny knows he’s trying to figure out whether to believe him or not.  He doesn’t wait around for more questions.  Benny heads up to his suite and changes into something more suited for the desert rather than his best suit.  It’s been a hot minute since he’s wandered the Wastes.  Last few times wasn’t really wandering, just passing through.  He’s heard all the stories about the Courier.  By the tall tales floating around, she should know every inch of that hellhole by now.

Benny sticks Maria into a holster and slings his bag over his shoulder.  He takes one good last look at his suite before he heads out, using one of the stairwell exits as to not draw attention to himself.  He really isn’t into some brainless Omerta reporting back to his boss that he saw the Benny stomping around dressed like a wastelander.

He crosses the street and hops up the stairs.  When he reaches for the doors he almost doesn’t expect them to open.  Not even House let him into his fortress.  Anytime the asshole wanted to communicate he did it through a Securitron.  Guess he thought real  conversation would change his luck with the next protegee.  Too bad it blew up in his face.

Benny opens the door and a lovely  gust of AC cooled air blasts him in the face.  The door shuts behind him and he’s alone, standing in a dark red and black lobby.  It’s a lot grander than The Tops, a bit more preserved too.  The carpet isn’t as bad off and the wallpaper is somehow not peeling off the ancient walls.  Benny whistles lowly.  It’s impressive, but its lonely.  It would be one hell of a casino floor if there were singing slot machines, drunk broads laughing, and a nice crooner in the corner humming some sweet little tune.  But the Courier has her wrapped up tight, and for right now the 38 is about as friendly as cactus flower.

By a bar off to the left he sees the doc and three other people.  One of them is some redhead he doesn’t recognize and the other is that fucking NCR beret.  Sitting on top of the bar, swinging her legs back and forth  like a child,  is the queen herself.  

“Did I make it on time, your highness?” He calls.  He approaches them with swagger but he’d rather be running in the opposite direction right now.  There is no bone in his body that wants to walk outside these walls.

Indy pretends to look at a watch and bites her lip.  “You’re twenty-two seconds late but I suppose I’ll let it slide.”

The redhead scowls at him and leans against Indy’s thigh. “Jesus fucking Christ I never thought this prick would ever set foot in my presence again.  Yet here he fucking is.”

“Don’t be melodramatic, Cass.” Indy rolls her eyes. “You know why he’s still kicking.”

“Yeah I know,” she says.  “Doesn’t make me wanna put some lead between his eyes any less.”

Benny grinds his teeth.  “I’m getting real tired of everyone wanting me dead.”

“Then stop being such an ass.” Indy says, hopping off the bar.  She’s clean for once though her t-shirt and jeans have seen better days.  She’s already got a pistol strapped around her thigh and a hunting knife hanging from a holster on her belt.

“Before we go,” Benny says. “Tell me where we’re going.  Give me some peace of mind, baby.  I don’t like not knowing.”

She smiles sweetly, sickeningly.  It makes his stomach turn flips.

“You don’t need to know where we’re going or what we’re doing just yet.  It’s a precaution, you see.  I wanna make sure your eyes and ears in the city can’t see or hear a thing.”

He throws his hands up in the air. “Baby, the only eyes and ears here are my own and they ain’t about to go off and tell tall tales.”

Indy shrugs she takes the rifle offered by the NCR prick.  “I don’t care.  These are the rules and if you want to fight them be my guest, but there are consequences.”

Benny falls silent.  He’s not gonna get a damn thing out of this broad.  One thing's for certain, she’s stubborn.  When it comes to being in the dark, Benny has never felt so blind, but he respects her secrecy.  She’s smart, he admires that too, he just wishes for his own sake she was a little more loose lipped.

“Before we go let me introduce you to my people,” Indy says, shouldering the rifle. “This is Boone.  He is - or was - NCR.”  She points to the man with the beret and sunglasses.  

Benny smiles and claps the man on the back. “Oh I know this cat,” he says. “We spent some time together.  It was aces, wasn’t it partner?”

Boone looks at Benny and shrugs off his hand. “Don’t touch me.”

Indy ignores the exchange. “You know Arcade.  Everyone who’s ever visited the Mormon Fort knows Arcade.  And this is Cass.”  She nods to the redhead who is absolutely fuming.  She looks at him like she’s five seconds away from shivving him with a dull kitchen knife.

“Pleasure,” he says.

“You’re fucking desert trash.” Cass spits.

“Alright,” Indy puts a hand between him and the redhead. “Let’s not bloody my casino.  Just had the carpets cleaned.”

Cass takes a step back and pulls something out of her back pocket.  It’s a bottle of whiskey.  So the bitch is a drunk.  He looks at them all.  They’re all rejects, wasteland wanderers and castaways, people that not even the Mojave wanted.  Where the fuck did she find these freaks?  NCR kicked Boone to the curb and the Followers tolerate Arcade and this Cass seems like the drunk cousin you “forget” to invite over for Christmas.

Indy pushes past him and Cass. “We gotta go.  We gotta meet our contact before sundown and we’ve got desert to cover.”

Boone slings a polished sniper rifle over his shoulder and Arcade adjusts the plasma rifle strapped to his back.  Cass hangs back, nursing her whiskey and watching him with cold eyes as the four head towards the door.

“Hold down the fort Cass,” Indy calls over her shoulder. “Take good care of Rex for me!”

“Yeah yeah,” she calls. “I’ll take care of the mutt.  Don’t let the asshole with bad fashion sense stick you in your sleep!”

Indy waves and Boone opens the door.  This is it, his first act with the courier.  He shields his eyes against the sun and they set off, through the gate that separates the strip from Freeside.  They stroll past junkies and hungry kids and Kings who grin and shout “Hey there, sister!” when the see Indy walk by.  Then it’s the end of the line.  All that divides him from civilization and the desert is a bent steel gate and it’s sliding open a bit too quickly for him.  

Indy waves them forward and he follows her out of heaven and into hell.

[driftersrpg]

Repairs and Training

Three days without any chaos was a weird thing to deal with, after the clusterfuck of a month before they reached this planet. Not that Suvore was complaining or anything, it was actually fantastic! For the most part she'd been keeping herself busy with fixing more things on the farm, talking to Kaz regularly, Plett's lessons, and going through the weapons they'd found on the bounty hunter ship. Especially the weapons, there were a lot and the Zabrak wasn't hiding how much she enjoyed being able to work on each and make sure they were all at peak performance, should they ever need to use them or sell them.

At the moment she was just taking a break in a quiet corner of the farm, watching the pitten that still wouldn't leave her sight for long, chase some random tiny bug in the grass. Though seemed to be failing at catching it, or maybe it was just playing with it's future food.

Gabby rounded the corner of the building and smiled as she saw Suvore. "Ah, there you are!" She sauntered over. "Not doing anything right now?"

Suvore turned her attention to Gabby, humming softly. "No. But I'm not sure I want to know why you're asking, or why you seem to have been looking for me."

"Hmm... well what if I said it was cuz I have a droid that needs some repairs?" She asked with a sly grin.

At the mention of repairs Suvore sighed softly, moving to get up, "What kinda droid, and what's wrong with it?"

"It's a training droid. I may have... er... gotten a bit zealous in my last training session and uh... yeah." She shifted sheepishly, foot tracing circles in the dirt.

"Heh, alright. Let me guess, you want it fixed before Plett notices?" She asked, not even trying to hide the amusement from her voice as she watched the pitten hurry over to her and insisted on being picked up so it wouldn't be left behind. Once the little guy was safely on her shoulder Suvore looked back to Gabby, "Lead the way?"

"Yeah, pretty much." She grinned, walking towards the lift to the underground training room. "That pitten seems to have adopted you, have you named it yet?"

"Considering it's not my pitten to name? Nah. Heck I don't even know if it's a guy or girl either." Suvore explained, shrugging slightly. "But I've been enjoying the little guy's company while we're here."

"It's a guy. And these guys don't really have names, there's too many! We just name the ones that stick to someone like he has with you. You're bonded for life now after all!" She grinned.

Suvore hummed, looking at the pitten before back to Gabbi, "Not really bonded for life. After all this place is his home. I'm not going to take him away from that."

"Good luck with that. You realize he'll wanna go with you when you leave." She shrugged, and punched in the second level and they descended into the earth. "Have you been to the training room before?"

A small smirk grew at the question, "Well, I went through here for a moment. Following four trouble makers where they shouldn't have gone."

Gabbi blinked, then realization dawned on her. "Oh... er... well... I was just playing, I wanted to see how those two fared against the wards."

"Yeah, they didn't get far. So it doesn't bug me. Though I AM amused no one noticed." She explained. "But besides that, I haven't been down here, and last time I didn't have long to actually look around."

"You must be good at hiding yourself in the Force." She nodded, leading Suvore to the side of the training room lined with different types of weapons and training droids.

"I'm just good at sneaking. The Force has nothing to do with it." She corrected, frowning just a little. "If I used the Force at all when sneaking I'd probably just announce my presence, not hide it." The Zabrak's eyes immediately went to the weapons and droids, and she made no effort to hide just how interested she was in looking at unfamiliar tech. She didn't care it was Jedi shit, they were interesting and there were WEAPONS.

Gabbi watched her with interest, faint grin still on her face. "Well, no, that isn't true. You prolly don't know you're doing it but you CAN hide yourself in the Force. You mask your presence, so that even those searching for you can't spot you!" She went over to a dented spherical droid, grabbing it and holding it out. "This one."

"Well hopefully you're right and I'm good at that shit, and get better sooner rather then later." Suvore muttered before bringing her attention to the droid, humming as she took it to look over the little machine. "You did do a number on this poor guy."

"Yeaaah I mean they're not meant to take an actual beating, we're not supposed to actually hit them." She said sheepishly. The damage was minimal, it needed to be un-dented and something had shorted it's circuits by overloading it with an energy attack. It needed a few pieces replaced, that Suvore luckily had on hand.

Suvore nodded, taking the bag off her shoulder before sitting down, "So you got over excited?" She asked, pulling out her tool kit from her belt and laying out the different things she'd need then went through her bag to get the couple pieces she knew she'd need. "Does this happen often? Or should I be asking how many times you've had to have Kaz come down here to fix a droid?" She continued while getting to work on the repairs.

Gabbi coughed. "Not often. I just... well, M.... Plett set three of these things on me, blindfolded, and well... yeah, I may have gotten a bit worked up." She admitted, sitting cross legged to watch Suvore work.

"A bit?” She asked, not looking up from her work. "How did you do this to the poor droid anyways? It looks like you damaged it with a blaster, but you don't seem the gun type."

"What? No, it was with a training saber." She pointed at the cylindrical hilts lined up on a workbench nearby.

"Huh, so that IS what they are." Suvore muttered, suspicions confirmed as she looked over at the sabers for a moment before back to the droid. "But those don't shoot do they? And the fucked up circuits wouldn't be done by a blade."

"Uhm... have you ever seen a lightsaber before? Or know how they work at least?" Gabbi asked, amazed she didn't know.

"I know Jedi and Sith used lightsabers instead of blasters, and basically trying to go up against one of them with a non lightsaber weapon was dumb as shit. And that only those two groups use them cause they custom build them? But besides that not really? All I know was fighting them is a dumb ass idea, and was told to avoid them." Suvore explained as she worked, leading over to grab a different tool, looking it over and putting it down before grabbing another. "I have to admit I've always been curious how they WORK, but I'm like that with basically any weapon I can get my hands on."

"Well, they're plasma weapons, and they're hot and powerful enough to cut through most things like bantha butter." She leaned over and held out a hand, one of the training hilts sped from the table to her outstretched hand. She paused, looking at it and sighing. "I need to stop doing that." She groaned, shaking her head. She held it out and activated the blade with a PSHH, the vibrating blade of light stopping just above where Suvore had spread out her tools.

"Yeah you do. Using the force so openly will get youUUU-!" She jumped a little as she finally looked up from her work to examine the blade, eyes lighting up at the fast she was able to look at the weapon this closely. Though her mind was also yelling pretty damn loud that she SHOULDN'T be around lightsabers at all. "That is so damn awesome! So what's the weight like when you're using those? And what about the power source? Does it drain a large amount of energy, or is it gradual enough that changing the power isn't needed often? How is the blade able to stay that stable? Can the blade's length be altered at will or is it set when it's built?"

Gabbi looked both proud but alarmed at the amount of questions shoved her way. "UH... The blade is weightless, so the hilt is all that really has any heft to it. Depends on the construction for how long power packs last but pretty dang long... It... to be honest I don't know the specifics of how the blade works, you'd have to ask Kaz or M.... Plett about that, but..." She moved the dial, showing Suvore how the blade length could be adjusted. "Training sabers are built to fit anyone so they have a modulator for the blade. Some actual sabers can do it too, but there's no reason to since you're custom-building it for yourself, so there's only one length you need?"

"Huh... yeah that's pretty damn cool." Suvore stated, giving her a small grin before going back to work on the droid.

Gabbi deactivated the saber. "Anyhows, the training blades don't really cut through anything, they're weaker power outputs and basically just sting... it's ion damage. But well... ion damage on a droid..."

"It fucks up machines horribly." Suvore agreed, giving a nod. "But don't worry, this little guy will be up and running in no time."

"That's good! I'm amazed you can fix something without knowing what it's meant to do." Gabbi watched her work.

"There isn't much I'm actually good at. Fixing machines and building weapons is most of my skills." Suvore explained. "Besides, when you're in my field of work you get used to people handing you shit that's been so damn modded that you have to figure out things as you go."

"Huh, I suppose that makes sense. I leave that kind of thing to Kaz. I had trouble building my lightsaber to begin with, and half of that is working with the Force. Even though... well, it's still a piece of equipment, besides the crystal."

"You should have a basic understanding of machines and how they work. After all the galaxy is full of them!" Suvore pointed out. While she was careful with her work she was also surprisingly quick with it and soon enough she had the droid back in working order. "Maybe from now on you don't get over excited on these things?" She suggested with a smirk.

"Yeah yeah..." Gabbi took the droid from her, "Wanna see if it works?"

"Sure? I am curious as to what you use these things for." Suvore admitted, turning to put her tools away.

Gabbi nodded, programming the little droid and setting it loose as she moved to the center of the room. It began bobbing and weaving, then shot an energy bolt at Gabbi who deftly flicked the lightsaber on and parried it. The reflected bolt shot off into the wall.

Suvore sat back, watching with interest as Gabbi wielded her saber. "Huh... I don't know they could deflect bolts like that. I mean it makes sense given the battles they must have been used in, but it's completely different to see."

"This is basic Jedi training, it requires using the Force to predict the bolt, cuz otherwise it's too fast." She said, as she continued deflecting them.

"Is the impact noticeable to use while you're holding the blade?" Suvore asked, still watching mostly the saber with an annoyingly growing interest. She really, REALLY wanted to know how these things worked.

"Hmm not really." She noted. "End session." She called out, picking up the droid as it deactivated and before it hit the ground, fiddling with it. "Wanna try it? I can put it at level 0. It's the level they use on five year old younglings."

"So you can watch me fail miserably?" Suvore asked with a knowing smirk, "I've never even held a lightsaber before, and don't know how to use it."

Gabbi tossed her the saber. "Try it."

Suvore caught the saber, frowning at it for a moment and knowing she SHOULDN'T but... new weapon. Sighing she set it down, taking an annoyed pitten out of her jacket hood. "Yes yes, I know." She muttered in response to a few adorable yet very upset noises. Removing her jacket and leaving it in the corner, the pitten quickly settled back down onto it's new bed. With that done Suvore picked up the saber again and stood. "At least show me how this thing works first."

Gabbi nodded, grabbing another one, and showing her first how to adjust the length to her own arm's length, then began teaching her the basic catas.

In the back of her mind Suvore still had the nagging voice that she shouldn't be doing this, but her interest in weapons was louder then the other voice for now. It took time to get used to the odd weight and balance of the saber as she was shown the catas, but she slowly adjusted. The Zabrak had always been firm in the mindset taught to her that if you wanna work on weapons, you gotta know how to use them, which meant she was used to learning quickly.

They practised the catas for an hour before Gabbi was satisfied Suvore understood the basics and could wield the saber well enough, then she set loose the droid on her.

Suvore was surprisingly focused (Especially if you'd spent any prolonged time with her in the last month) once the droid was turned on, eyes watching it's every movement. The droid sent out three shots at an increasing speed, allowing the Zabrak to adjust with each and able to deflect all three in turn. "H-Holy shit..." She said softly after, looking at the droid then the saber.

"Hey, you're a natural!" She laughed, "You are pretty good at this."

"It's really weird, and I-OW!" She frowned, getting distracted with the first shot that she was too slow and it hit her in the shoulder. "Little shit..." The Zabrak muttered, barely blocking the second and the third was FAR easier to block. "After feeling that bolt hit, I can see why you got annoyed with three and damaged this brat."

"Right? And I wasn't working on level 0." She pointed out. "But it's good practice for trusting the Force to guide your reflexes."

"Yeah... it's trusting the Force that I'm really not used to. I've been trying to ignore it my whole life." Suvore admitted, keeping an eye on the droid who seemed to enjoy making her wait for the nest shots.

"Ignore it?? Why would you do that? That's like trying to ignore the air you breathe." She looked shocked.

"Parental insistence." Suvore simple said, giving a shrug and hoping that was enough of an explanation.

"Huh... well, if you wanna practice more, go nuts. You can end the session by telling it to end it like I did earlier. And well, this place is always open if you wanna come down to practice with the other weapons or something."

Suvore considered continuing for a moment before shaking her head, "End session." With that she turned off the lightsaber and caught the droid before it touched the ground. "Thanks for showing me all this, but I'll admit the longer I practice with new weapons the more I wanna take them apart to figure out how it all works." She turned to Gabby and smirked a little, "I don't think Plett would like that."

Gabby grinned, "Well, what Plett doesn't know..." She shrugged. "There's plenty of training sabers... I'm sure you could... borrow one."

"Do NOT tempt me, kid." Suvore laughed as she put the saber and droid back where they belonged. "I'm sure Plett knows everything that happens here. And if he doesn't know immediately, it doesn't stay a secret for long."

Gabbi scrunched her nose. "Well... I guess that's true." She admitted mournfully.