deusa-imperfeita - Tumblr blog

[deusa-imperfeita]

No therapy prepared me to be in love with someone and not being able to live it. No amount of heartbreaks and shitty people ever qualified me for just knowing that it might not be for us. Watching movies and stories that quite resemble what you and I had (have?) just make how empty I feel even worse But was it supposed to be the other why around? Should I be hopeful? Encourage? So why is it that just think of you make me sad? Is the lilies really about daring me to love you? Or the roses saying I can wait for it? Do you have a blue french horn? Do you feel de same way? Are you thinking of me too? Do you really feel that nervous? You don't, right? I made it all in my mind again.

Well, timing is a bitch.

[deusa-imperfeita]

and then i dreamed about that again

you looking at me like i was made just for you

and i walked up wondering how many nights

i would still feel like i could never be complete

without you sleeping next to me

[deusa-imperfeita]

[deusa-imperfeita]

due to personal reasons I’ll be in my bedroom making no noise and pretending that I don’t exist

[deusa-imperfeita]

[deusa-imperfeita]

[deusa-imperfeita]

[deusa-imperfeita]

I know it doesn't mean anything. The walking home, the laughts, the jokes. I know at the best of possibilities you're just playing me. And most of the time, I'm okay with it. Realy. I mean, i'm not fine, and definitely I don't like it. But I kinda do. To see you standing at my door, waiting for me to close it. Just to make sure I'm okay... or is it to make sure I'm not turning around? See? I get so confused. And man, I realy wish it meant something. To you to say that this is more than just being nice, that you're doing more than"the leats" you could. I miss you. I really do.

And yet, it doesn’t mean anything

[deusa-imperfeita]

[deusa-imperfeita]

[deusa-imperfeita]

it’s BI VISIBILITY DAY so let’s celebrate with some of the most badass bi women out there!

[deusa-imperfeita]

10

[deusa-imperfeita]

ᴰᵉᶜᵉᵖᵗᶦᵛᵉ ᴸᶦᵖˢ

[deusa-imperfeita]

I knew that all I needed was a cold shower to get that chat out of my head. I did it.

But then, I needed to listen to some good music to take that conversation out of my mind. I did it.

And then, I needed a tea.

I made it.

Sleep a little.

Done it.

Work... maybe?

Checked...

But still,

the sound

“i like you”

his voice

in my brain

clear and cristal.

The “I don’t wanna hurt you”

There.

And it kept me thinking

“Am I getting fouled again?”

But yet,

Beeing tricked...

Wasn’t it supposed to feel...

bad?

draft 1: am i in love with him? or am i in love with the one in my mind?

[deusa-imperfeita]

via weheartit

[deusa-imperfeita]

via weheartit

[deusa-imperfeita]

I hate how open I was to you.  I hate the pillow talk the crying at movies,  the laughter for your jokes the joy in simple and almost cute moments the experiences. I hate that I let people knowing you existed that I thinked about you when I was at sleep I hate the dreams, the strange conversations, the inside jokes. I hate I put a deadline at our time, and that you followed it. I hate everything I ever shared with you, included my bedroom, I hate having to be inside it now,  as I hate be writing this.

Never falling in love with people, there’s not Patrick Verona, no Todd, no Sebastian Wilder, no Jacob Palmer, no perfect one