#katy perry fake baby

[wonryllis]

somewhere in northern italy | 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗄 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇.

synopsis. park sunghoon hates oranges, he always has. the tangy citrusy tingles he's so not fond of it. he also hates you, the living embodiment of an orange: cheery, full of life, and well, round. why should he be bothered by it though? all he has to do is work hard to get into his dream university. but the thing is, he really needs a specific recommendation letter for it. something which he can only get from your father. and hypothetically speaking, he can't just ask for it, so he does you 'a favor for a favor'; he fake dates you on your trip home for summer break and surprise surprise your family owns the biggest orange farm in the country.

or where, sunghoon falls for the one thing he has hated all his life.

word count. 1.6k (teaser) full fic: est 10k-15k? maybe more?

meet the cast. park sunghoon who has an obsession of taking photos with fem!reader who loves being photographed.

genre. fake dating AUUUU!!!! ANDDD enemies to lovers!!!(for hoon), frenemies to lovers(for you), fluff, crackkkk, nsfw, suggestive, sunghoon getting cockblocked all the damn time, set in lombardy, northern italy. popular x unpopular but it's mildly mentioned. sunghoon thinks you are a spoiled brat, a very very studious and upright sunghoon. oh and did you know? orange, orange and orange (sunghoons nightmare) rich girlie and old money reader, sunghoon is gobsmacked at reader's house, parents..(do i really need to add?) and the orange farm.

warnings. allusions as to reader being daddy's princess and being sheltered and hoon struggling every day with oranges and painting a good image of himself to get that letter. nsfw warnings will be added in the full fic. (also no it's not a chubby reader)

RELEASE DATE. TBD

written so far. 15%

author's note﹙ ⌕. ﹚ had this random ass idea while having orange juice yesterday ksjksj. taglist is open for this as well as the permanent one, just let me know and i'll add you asap! not sure if this' good enough kindly bear with me. PLS DONT LET THIS FLOP I REALLY LOVE THIS BABY ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

꒰⠀ N O W P L A Y I N G. ⠀꒱ cruel summer by taylor swift, one kiss by calvin harris & dua lipa, karma by taylor swift, me by taylor swift, call it what you want by taylor swift, blinding lights by the weekend, fireworks by katy perry

"you wanna go down to the lake?" sunghoon looks up to find you at the door, more like peeping in from outside. his hands stopping mid-air with his spongebob boxers in hand, in the middle of unpacking what was left of his luggage. he moves at the speed of light, shoving them back in before you can notice the print. but too late you already saw it well, "you wear spongebob?" your laugh tickles his insides and it feels weird how he seems to like it.

no, he did not want to go out right now. after that stressful breakfast in the garden he just wants to fall face first into your fluffy mattress and sleep it out under your silk comforter. but something about your laugh makes him intrigued, would going down to the lake with you show him more of this side of yours? now this would probably be the seventh time he has wondered of how prettily you laugh. the curve of your eyes and the faint dimples on your cheeks his favourite things. oh? he picked favourites already it's weird, he thinks.

"yeah, let's go. just lemme change my shirt real quick," disappearing into the bathroom before you have the chance to speak. though when he steps back into the room,"your taste is funny," his spongebob boxers hang at the tip of your index finger as you look closely at the design. "put that back!" he scolds, choking on his spit while he rushing over.

"why? don't tell me you haven't washed it? now that's really bad hoonie," the tone of your voice teases his nerves but honestly he's used to it, more precisely he doesn't hate it as much as he thought he did.

"y/n," he warns, albeit not seriously and you can see it.

"baby," in a sweet little smile, (one that has sunghoon's hate for you faltering in the slightest each time you put it on) you correct him,"remember?" my fake boyfriend, mouthing out through a sly grin.

it's like an immediate que for him to give it up, he's not gonna win against you. when he used to see you around the university, mingling amidst a crowd of people every single time, he always thought you'd hold nothing against him. in his eyes you were a hollow image, nothing worth it. perhaps he was wrong, for so far you have him tight in a grip, he can't seem to find something to properly hate. that is if he takes the oranges out the picture.

he sighs in resignation,"come on, let's go, baby." happy? his brows rising in a question, softening up at your smile getting wider with a swift nod.

he relaxed too soon.

"was this really necessary?" the palm of his hand slides around your wrist as you walk down the steps of your italian chateau. supporting your heel clad feet and gesturing at the big beige floppy beach hat sitting atop your head. "absolutely! it's my fa- dad!" sunghoon's head snaps at that, immediately turning to look at the pitch of your voice going higher. the real deal, your father still seated in the garden with a newspaper in his hands and dear lord, a glass of orange juice.

it's embarrassing to be seen with you like that, he was gonna say. but oh well, nevermind.

"i see you have your favorite hat on, going somewhere with sunghoon?" your dad asks smiling warmly at your pair. it makes sunghoon scared, aren't dads supposed to hate boyfriends? is he being bamboozled by your family? will he be preyed upon later when you are not there to see? as if it was possible, your entire family though really welcoming of him are a bunch of weirdos, who the fuck let's their precious daughter share her room with her boyfriend they've met for the first time?

when he agreed to fake date you he didn't know he'd have to put on such a detailed act. there's literally no restrictions for you in the house. you do whatever you want, when ever you want. and that includes taking him everywhere you go, because apparently your parents know him as the boyfriend who loves you so much that he can't let you be alone at any time. shouldn't that be a red flag though? he can't with this anymore, just over a day in and he's convinced he can't make it make sense anymore, it's a white towel, he can only go with the flow.

"yes he really wanted to go down to the lake," what me? when? sunghoon's eyes wander in a panic while you smile as if you weren't just lying through your teeth. smile sunghoon smile, just fucking smile, he reminds himself wondering if he should maybe say something, maybe not?,"didn't you, baby?" the little nudge of your elbow against him tells him that he should, oh god its difficult to learn when to do what.

"yeah the weather seems really good," he says, a slight tremor in his voice, internally facepalming himself. he has one job, and he's failing even that.

"hm, true," the acknowledgement from your father helps calm his nerves a bit but it runs on high again at his next words,"be back before lunch though, your brother and sister in law will be home soon. it's been so long since we last ate together," you have a brother? why wasn't he informed about this? is the universe playing a game with him? as if your parents weren't enough, now he has to impress more people. he can do this, for the sake of his recommendation letter he has to do it.

"yes dad! love you," sunghoon waits like a lone statue as you leave his side to press a kiss to your father's cheek. grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away the moment he opens his mouth to bid your father. at this rate you'll ruin it for him before he can ruin it himself. "slowdown, fluffy. i'll fall at this speed," he tries but it's to no avail, he should have known by now, no one can control you.

the walk down to the lake is quieter than he expected, no bickering or fighting. you show him around the small streets and shops on the way, telling him little stories back from your childhood. sometimes stopping at a spot,"so pretty, can you take a picture of me here?" and it's already the fourth time. he doesn't mind though, on the contrary he finds himself enjoying it. it's not everyday he gets to roam around the streets of italy with the perfect weather.

it doesn't take long for you both to reach the deck on the far left. following your lead, he sits down on the edge beside you, legs hanging low over the cold water and your shoes placed on one side. you sit close, arms brushing each other, little finger atop one another. your hair flowing with the wind swipes against his face when you turn the other way, a subtle hint of sweet (you guessed it) orange tingling his smell buds. instead of grimacing his life off, he leans closer for another whiff of it. "sunghoon!" retracting immediately when you turn back to him.

"hm?" a feeling so out of this world, a haze lost in his mind. your words sound blurry and your extravagant hat looks so pretty on you. he almost feels like he has to capture this. "i asked how you like it? weren't you listening? what're you thinking?" and he does, taking out his phone and clicking a candid. he can't believe he now has a photo of you in his gallery that he's taken on his own accord. he's been doing many weird things lately,"it's really pretty," so so many weird things.

"hey fluffy i've been wondering about something," he speaks again, looking away to try to ignore tiny little fluttering butterflies in his stomach.

"what is it?"

"haven't you ever dated before, why do your parents seem so excited to see you have a boyfriend?" there he asked it, the biggest mystery he can't stop thinking about from the moment he set foot in your palace of a house. if it's your first then maybe that would somewhat explain their behaviour, not that it would become normal altogether, just kind of justifiable that he won't be put on the rack. that he's truly welcomed and he's safe.

"not really, no one ever met my standards," your answer throws him off. what?

"does that mean i do?" he tests the water, cautious above all yet his tone still comes off as one of tease.

"yes, except one," he eyes turn to you at that, pupils dilated with curiosity for the one thing stopping him from the title of 'perfect for you' as your parents claimed. meeting his eyes in a lock of contact, you give him a small smile. hands moving over to his white button up, fingers tracing his collar and undone buttons watching his adam's apple bob in a hard gulp as his brown orbs follow your movements, sweat building up at the close proximity when you both lock eyes again,"you don't really like me," sunghoon immediately looks away, a stab of reality, he was actually anticipating something he could change. really park sunghoon? remember you don't like her?

"am i wrong?" you laugh leaning forward to have a look at his face.

"i never said that," sunghoon clears his throat, turning back, suddenly gaining a surge of confidence. park sunghoon what???

TAGLIST ( open. ) @s00buwu @luvyev @deobitifull @nottkwiwin @enhyven @crysieberry @eneiyri @sovlidago @fertiliezedtoesw @laylasmother @pockyyasii @ladyartemesia @kaispulshies @nctislifue @capri-cuntz @sweetjaemss @parksunghoonsgf @ariadores @asteria-wood @laurradoesloveu @en-dream @304files

[sinematically]

Clark Kent and his Mystery Boyfriend

Audience: General Words: 2.5k Pairing: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, OC - Katie, Perry White. Dick Grayson and Timothy Drake make a lil appearance too Read it on AO3

Summary: Clark Kent had a long-time boyfriend that no one had ever met, so naturally they assumed that this "B" Clark spoke of didn't exist.

Clark Kent had a long-time boyfriend that no one had ever met, so naturally they assumed that this "B" Clark spoke of didn't exist. They’d been together for a long while, according to what Clark was saying. The timeline he hastily established almost made it look like Lois and he broke up because of this mysterious B. 

But, knowing Lois, and knowing the boy scout Kent, the office just assumed Clark made up a fake boyfriend so people wouldn't ask about the breakup with Lois. They always looked at him with pity, patting his shoulder when he would share stories of their frankly unbelievable dates, maybe passing a comment or two, knowing he would never hear them. 

Until maybe a year into the "relationship" there was a large bouquet on Clark's table with a note written in code. Clark seemed surprised when he spotted the roses. Clark smiled, neatly moving them onto a safer spot so he wouldn't accidentally knock them over and didn't address it. He didn't need to glance at the code more than once to read and decrypt what it meant. Lois, of course, did. She picked up the card and spent a good 4 hours decoding the message on it. When she finally got the last pieces of the puzzle she burst into laughter 

"Holy shit, Smallville, your boyfriend is batshit crazy!" she said and dissolved into another fit of giggles. 

The office got used to seeing random bouquets delivered to the office. Sometimes Lois got them too, but her bouquets were usually pink or white roses. Clark's were always deep red, long-stemmed roses nestled in a bunch of baby's-breath flowers. 

Yet, the assumption that he didn't exist, or at least if he did -- he wasn't all that Clark made him out to be, didn't go away.

3 years into the relationship, Lois was fed up with all the office gossip.

Really, the tipping point was when Steve started a betting pool. His theory? Clark was dating Metropolis’s very own Lex Luthor. Understandably, Lois was pissed. So, during one of Clark's off-world missions sick leaves, she gathered everyone in one of the conference rooms and told them they were allowed one question each. She could choose not to answer them, which would result in the person getting another question. 

"Who is he dating?" 

"I'm not telling you that, Cat" 

"Is he hot?" 

"...Yes. He is" 

When Clark was back at work, he noticed how there weren’t a lot of whispers, or nearly as many judgements being passed as he sat down. They even started asking questions. Clark knew Lois was behind this somehow but as long as they didn't know who Clark was dating, he was fine with the questions. He even answered them as honestly as he could. 

This is how the Planet found out that Clark was dating a single father. 

"Wait do they call you Pop?" Katie asked. She was new to the Planet and had only been at her job two weeks when Lois held the secret meeting. She was very intrigued by the whole thing. 

Clark flushed a deep red, "Oh, no, oh god no, no... uh, yeah no. I mean, I've known the kids since... yeah, I've known them as long as he has but no... They're adopted so, you know, they don't even call B dad, they wouldn't, yeah, no" 

Katie always asked the most questions. She was how the office found out that Clark spent a weekend in Paris, but she kept to herself that they went and watched a Broadway play the weekend after. She also clocked that Clark’s suit from the Christmas party was custom-tailored to fit him perfectly. She was very flustered when she realised Clark was packing a lot of muscle. 

Katie was also the first (outside of Lois, Jimmy and Perry White) to put two and two together. All the expensive dates, impromptu vacations, a secret man from perhaps… Gotham? She got transferred to the investigative journalism team afterwards.

Her stories were smaller, and she picked up a lot of sports and celebrity life pieces, but she worked out of a little spot next to Jimmy’s table, across from Lois and Clark’s. 

/|\^._.^/|\

It was nearing a decade into their relationship now, 7 years. Clark had been off-world, just re-entering the atmosphere when the explosion went off. He didn't hear Jason when he called out for him. It broke him.

Perry didn’t ask too many questions, just for an approximate time frame before approving Clark’s time off. When Clark, teary-eyed and at a loss for words, tried to explain himself Perry shook his head. “No father should have to go through that, both of you… go to Gotham, be with him” was all he said. 

But, following the fate of many couples who lost their child, Clark and B broke up. Only Lois, Jimmy, White and Katie knew.

The office caught on once the flowers stopped. The rumour mill began churning again, and it wasn't long before Clark snapped. But of course, Clark Kent snapping didn't look like a regular person snapping. 

Clark Kent snapping looked like a panic attack, running away from the bullpen and towards the roof of their building. Katie glared at the people near the water cooler who had been talking about how sad Clark looked. Lois and Jimmy had followed him up. 

Clark had been given the rest of the day off, while Perry held a meeting with the staff reminding everyone of workplace conduct. Lois was seething with rage, shooting glares at various people in the room. Katie sat next to Lois, furiously typing into her laptop. Jimmy flashed an apologetic smile but didn’t say anything. 

Clark came back to work the next day and did very little at his desk, he was later assigned a piece that required him to visit Central City for a few weeks. The gossiping had died down by the time he was back. Lois, Katie and Cat had taken it upon themselves to strike the fear of god into anyone caught gossiping, and the office had learnt their lesson.

Clark looked like a kicked puppy most of the day, till he slowly started feeling like himself again. Weeks passed, then months, before they had their usual Clark back. The office was starting to learn how much they missed their boy from Kansas.  

Then the Daily Planet was brought by Wayne Enterprises. Clark Kent put down his papers the day the deal went through. 

Most of the office was out, they’d been given a parent-company sponsored lunch as a welcome into Wayne Enterprises. Perry had stayed back to finalise some of the details over a call with Lucius Fox. Jimmy and Katie were sitting across from each other, franticly texting Lois who was on her way back from the airport. 

"Kent! Don't you dare walk away from m- KENT!" Perry's booming voice practically rattled the windows as Clark walked away, calmly, from the editor-in-chief's office. Perry waited, threw his hands into the air and then slammed the door to his office shut. He was back on the call almost immediately, apologising to Lucius for stepping away so abruptly. 

Clark calmly cleaned his desk out, while Jimmy leaned against the tall cabinets, chewing on his inner cheek. He was charged with stalling Clark, so Lois could talk him out of quitting. Katie was keeping a watchful eye, hoping she was subtle enough not to set Clark off again. 

"Maybe you should just talk to him" Jimmy offered.  Clark snorted, "Yeah, because I didn't try that, what... a thousand times?"  "Well, maybe then you should… respond? He’s been reaching out, this is him reaching out right?” Jimmy said, crossing his arms.

"And what? Wait for an apology? Or worse, hear him say he wasn't sorry at all? That I should just go back, be ok? You don't know him like I do... I'm- I'm not putting myself through all this again. I tried, I tried to be there for him but I can't keep giving and giving and giving if he doesn't want to take it" 

"He's trying too! Okay? This is him trying," Jimmy said, like a desolate child.

"He's not the only one who lost his kid, Jimmy" Clark said, loudly.

Jimmy didn’t think he could stop Clark as he walked towards the elevator. The doors shut silently.

Lois burst through the elevator doors forty seconds later, her heels clicked loudly as she marched towards the conference room. She had a phone jammed between her ear and shoulder, her left hand held her heels and her right hand her laptop. “You better have a good fucking reason to pull this shit” was the last thing Jimmy and Katie heard before the door slammed shut. 

Clark was back at work a week later, with a significant pay hike and a new laptop waiting for him from Wayne Tech’s latest line, “Made to be Indestructible” was the tagline. Lois had 3 bouquets of roses at her desk, lunch from her favourite sandwich shop around the corner and a new coffee machine was being installed in the office cafeteria. “For Lois Lane” read the note slapped onto the new coffee machine. 

No one knew what happened, they were just relieved there were flowers in the office again, and a new coffee machine.

It was this same year Wayne Enterprises sponsored a field trip for all Gotham Academy students to come visit the Daily Planet. One of the kids -- introduced himself to Lois and Clark as Tim -- had slipped a note into Clark’s pocket asking for a meeting. Tim had written that he had a message from the Gotham Bat. Clark, after reading the note, exhaled a slow deep breath. He asked the teenager to follow him into one of the conference rooms, and 25 minutes later the kid left the room smiling. 

Clark was back in Perry’s office, requesting more time off, saying he needed to sort out some family issues. Perry looked at the kid who was hovering around Lois, then at Clark, and then back at the kid who had moved on tinkering with Jimmy’s camera. 

“It’s Thursday now, and you’re not scheduled to come in on Saturday, are you?” Perry asked, but before Clark could reply, Perry continued “I’m giving you one day, and no pay. One day. If I don’t see you in your seat Monday morning, I don’t care who you’re with Kent, you’re out!”  

Clark came back to work looking visibly less stressed. He had a bounce in his step and if Katie’s surprised yelp was anything to go by, he had a poorly concealed hickey on his collarbone. 

Lois had yet again been sent a very nice lunch spread, and Katie’s table had a small bouquet of yellow roses. Jimmy was pouting, mumbling about how he had a lot to do with the change too. At lunch, Jimmy found a brand new camera and a new laptop from Wayne Tech at his workstation.

It was a day of celebration for the office when they finally saw a bouquet of deep red roses on Clark’s table. 

Clark, as usual, set them aside so he wouldn’t knock them over. 

/|\^._.^/|\

Many more years passed, and the office had gotten used to the stories. They also wanted, desperately, to meet Clark's B

Clark was spending the weekend at his mother's, and his boyfriend’s kids spent the weekend with him because B was caught up with work. Together, they’d baked enough pie for the whole office - Perry White was in a good mood for a whole afternoon after the cherry pie. Clark was telling Lois about how his last movie date ended with his boyfriend passing out on the couch, so Clark naturally carried him into their room and tucked him into bed, while they waited for Perry to assign their assignments in the morning.

Stories about Clark’s boyfriend were as normal as hearing Perry’s loud sigh of frustration, Lois’s heels clacking as she paced the bullpen floor, convincing a senator or governor to give her a name or a number. It was as routine at Cat Grant's gasp followed by whatever gossip was being announced to the pen. As common at Katie and Jimmy flirting, or as Kevin and Ben bickering, and Steve hitting on an intern. The flowers never stopped, and neither did the lunches. 

Once in a while, on a special occasion, the whole office was treated to Clark’s boyfriend's generosity. When Clark has gotten his first Pulitzer nomination, or for Lois’s second win. When Katie finally got her first investigative piece bringing down a big Pharma company went viral, or when Lois got engaged. 

Clark’s first and Lois’s third Pulitzer was for their piece on Cadmus’s illegal genetic cloning. It had been the biggest news story for months and got their paper a new set of eyes. As a congratulations, Perry had taken the whole team out of drinks. 

It was that night when the office first saw someone from Clark’s home life. 

A man in his mid-20s had snuck up on Clark in the middle of a conversation with Lois and loudly congratulated him. No one recognised the kid, so they didn’t pay too much attention. 

All except for Cat Grant, who had the pleasure of meeting Richard Grayson on multiple occasions. Most recently at Bruce Wayne’s charity gala. She connected the dots, but sadly the wrong ones. 

When Clark had gone to the bar to fetch Lois and Katie another drink, Cat went up to him. “You’re seeing him, aren’t you? Richard Grayson?” She asked. 

Clark almost dropped the drinks, looking bewildered. 

“Dickie? What? Cat, are you insane? Dick isn’t even…” Clark needed to take a second and let out a deep sigh “He was 13 when B and I got together. 13! And his name doesn’t start with B, for chrissake!” Clark shook his head, walking towards the booth where Dick, Katie, Jimmy and Lois were seated. 

Cat, disheartened she guessed it wrong didn’t rearrange the puzzle pieces to make it fit. She just got herself another glass of wine and joined their table, sighing loudly when Dick introduced himself to her. Lois looked at Clark, who shook his head mouthing “Don’t ask” 

A few moments later, Perry stood up and demanded Lois and Clark make a toast. Lois went first, while Clark tried to get out of it. He was in the process of being dragged onto his feet when the last guest for the night joined the party. 

“Oh hey, B, you made it!” Dick said loudly, bringing attention to the man dressed in a black suit, taking off his coat dusted with snow. He was dressed very fancy for a bordering-on dingy bar in Metropolis. He nodded at the bartender who seemed to recognise him, but that wouldn’t be fair because who wouldn’t recognise Bruce Wayne? 

The man’s face was plastered across a few magazines, many tabloids and a few billboards around the city. He was one of the richest men in the world, one of the most desirable bachelors in the country and he was smiling at Clark like he hung the moon in the sky. 

“B…” Clark trailed off and moved to hug him 

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CLARK IS FUCKING BRUCE WAYNE” Cat Grant gasped 

/|\ ^._.^ /|\

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[bleach-your-panties]

⚡mind (and body) fuck 🛸- d.kaminari x fem reader x h.shinsou

⇰n/sfw 18+. mdni. MAJOR dark content warning.

⇰written for @bastardblvd's house of slimy horrors halloween collab.

⇰warnings: gullible reader, mentally ill reader, drug use (weed), electrostimulation, hypnosis, alien abduction, NON-CON, body horror, tummy bulge, use of surgical instruments, instrument insertion, egg retrieval, time-traveling (between present day and 1970's), alternate timelines, trippy shit, misogyny, sexism, sleazy men talk, threesome ig, excessive cursing, slimeball!denki being himself and slimeball!fake!landlord hitoshi, who claims he's a licensed hypnotist. this is degenerate, psychological filth; who wrote this?

⇰(i got the title idea from shinsou's hero name. i think it's mindbreak, but i always say mindfuck lol.)

🛸inspired by the movie fire in the sky and betty and barney hill's accounts of their alien abduction in 1961.

🛸banner images from pinterest/pic collage

🛸banner/animated divider made by me with canva/pic collage.

🛸halloween divider by @/firefly-graphics

🛸4.8k words

▶️: e. t (remix). - katy perry ft. kanye west

▶️: phone home - lil wayne

"You sure you don't want another hit, pretty?" Denki turned his head to ask you as he held the lit blunt, which was quickly becoming a roach, between his long fingers.

Hitoshi, who was sitting to your left, made a small sound of amusement.

"I think she's had enough. Just look at her fucking face."

You're Denki's new neighbor, having just moved down the hall into apartment 3E. After finally securing a day off from work, he decided to do the neighborly thing and invite you over. To get to know you better.

He met you as he was preparing to leave for work one morning.

You looked so lost and gullible, easy prey for him, but if he hadn't have left then, Katsuki would have most certainly put his ass on bathroom duty for being late. 

He'd have to put his quest of getting to know you on the back burner until he had more time.

And now, the day has finally come.

He wasn't very impressed when Hitoshi insisted on coming over the same day to 'work on some maintenance issues'.

Hitoshi is a bastard, a smooth bastard, that always seems to be in competition with him when it comes to nagging hot, unsuspecting chicks and taking them home, filling them up with weed, alcohol, and dick, then giving them the boot.

They even have a scoreboard, and Denki is currently just one point behind Hitoshi right now. Just one measly point.

And Denki planned to use little ole, naive you to even the score.

"What even is in that shit? It smells horrible." The violet-haired man waved his hand in front of his face to waft the weed smoke away from his "delicate" nose.

"You know, I've never seen someone who smokes cigarettes be so sensitive about a little weed. Pussy."

"Pussy? Oh, so now we're name-calling then? If I'm such a pussy, then how come I'm ahead of you right now on the board?"

He pointed a long, black-polished fingertip at the board situated across the room in plain sight. 

The girls that Denki brought back here either had to be dumb, lonely, desperate, or a sad mixture of all three. Not to mention the ones with daddy issues.

“Because you use fake status and promises of discounted rent to get pussy, while I, on the other hand, use my charm and good looks. Not to mention I actually know how to fuck.” Denki smirked and crossed his long arms over his chest.

Hitoshi just snorted and Denki knew that he had won that argument.

A soft moan and a feminine hand on his jean-clad thigh made Denki jump in surprise.

"Shit, I almost forgot you were here, baby girl. Scared the fuck out of me." Denki cooed at you and then snickered.

A steaming hot box of pizza was open on the small coffee table in front of you, along with opened cans of beer and soda.

"You still didn't answer my question, pisshead. What is in that weed and why does it stink so fucking badly?" 

Denki leaned forward to grab a slice of pizza out of the box: Hawaiian-style pizza.

"It's called Pineapple Express." 

 "Oh you just fucking made that up."

"I swear I didn't, but okay." Denki reached across your lap to ash the roach. Your small hand shakily reached out, grabbed his wrist, and rubbed it all the way down to the crease of his elbow, meeting the flannel of his rolled-up shirt.

“What’s wrong, baby? Are you tired?” Denki asked you in a thick, honey-laden voice.

What he doesn't know, though, is that he's given you a dangerous mixture. 

A toxin that would soon have you spouting fairytales and complete nonsense.

You looked up at the zig-zag blonde confused, as if you were really seeing him for the first time. 

"Wait, where am I? W-what…what year is it?"

Shinsou raised an eyebrow and shot Denki a concerned look. 

"You're in my apartment, babe, and the year is 2023." Denki answered without missing a beat.

You were clutching his arm now in a panicked state.

"N-no, that can't be right. The last thing that I remember was walking home and then there was this bright, green light and…"

Both males leaned into you mechanically, them wanting to give you their full attention as well as them being eager to hear what you have to say.

"It was like a fire in the sky; at first it was merely a spark against the soot of the night, when all of a sudden, it was surrounding me, a blazing hot inferno, as if I had stepped onto the Sun's surface." You explained with a shakiness to your voice.

"If you even attempted to touch the Sun, you'd vaporize before you could even reach the surface." Shinsou retorted smartly.

Denki seemed perturbed by the story that you're currently spouting, but he also couldn't deny that it had sparked his interest. 

"Leave it to Denki to bring home a crazy bitch and try to fuck…" Shinsou mumbled and reached into his jeans pocket for a Marlboro Menthol Black cigarette.

Said blonde swatted at Shinsou, a silent message for the lavender-haired man to shut the fuck up lest he scare away the barista's latest conquest.

"Hmm, what are you babbling about, sugar tits? There's no such thing as aliens and time travelers." He chuckled gleefully and cradled you closer to him.

How cute and funny you are.

His dick began to stir in his jeans from having you lie against him like this. Your tits spilled over the neckline of your top and brushed his chest.

Shinsou rolled his periwinkle eyes as he continued to smoke his cigarette and watch the wispy smoke curl up into the air. The minty, smoky odor mixed with the fruity one of Denki’s weed.

Those eyes then moved to the floor where your open purse was sitting by his feet. Inside, he could see a couple of pill bottles peeking out.

While you were busy whining to Denki about how you’d supposedly been abducted by aliens in your past life, Shinsou leaned down and scooped the three bottles up to read their white labels.

‘Haloperidol, chlorpromazine, and trifluoperazine. Antipsychotics?’

He rolled the bottles over in his hand then shot another look over to Denki, who seemed to have forgotten that Shinsou was even there.

The blonde's nimble fingers splayed across your back while his other hand rubbed up and down your shoulder.

Your breathing quickened and Denki took that as your arousal coming out, but your chest was constricting; you felt like you might be having a panic attack.

Shinsou stood up off the couch and moved Denki's hand off of your shoulder. Honey snapped up to meet periwinkle.

"What the fuck, dude?" 

The pill bottles shook in his face, making Denki squint as he tried to read the small black writing.

"What is this?"

"Antipsychotic medication! This chick is seriously screwed up! You shouldn't have given her that weed; it's likely the only reason she's falling all over you right now!"

Denki scoffed and rolled his eyes. In his mind, Shinsou is just envious that Denki got to you first, and the lavender-haired man was afraid for Denki to take the lead over him.

"Now when it's my chance to finally get ahead, you want to be a man of morals? Spare me the bullshit, please."

"Forget about the fucking board for a minute! You-"

Denki swiped the bottles out of Shinsou's hand and brought them in front of your face. His free hand moved from your back to your belly and down into the waistband of your skirt.

"Did you remember to take your medicine today, huh, pretty?" He asked with a teasing lilt in his voice. This revelation doesn't change anything for him; he's still hard and still wants to fuck you.

Your eyes refocus on him, only slightly, and you give a faraway nod.

"I did…I think.." 

He leaned forward to set the pill bottles on the coffee table. "Good girl…" He purred like a fat cat with a bowl full of fresh tuna.

Denki grabbed your exposed thigh and used it to pull your leg across his waist. Shinsou didn't miss how your cunt gripped the chartreuse lace of your panties as Denki exposed you to his sunken eyes. He bit his lip.

"You're really going to fuck her while she's like this?" His voice was thick with apprehension. 

Denki didn't falter; he even smirked.

"Sure am...not like I haven't done it before. You got a problem, you can leave. There's the door." He nodded his head behind him to the metal door that leads into the hallway.

Shinsou's jaw clenched; his pride wouldn't let him be outdone by a dumbass like Denki. Not by a long shot. 

Shinsou had to think of a plan and think of one fast before Denki would have your spaced-out ass bouncing on his dick in this very living room. 

"Hey…I've got an idea. If she claims she was abducted by aliens, I'll hypnotize her. That way, we'll know if she's really telling the truth or if she's just a nut."

Denki laughed at the double entendre. "She is just a nut, but I'm interested now. Do you really know how to hypnotize someone?" He asked, looking at Shinsou while standing up from the couch.

"Of course, I'm a licensed hypnotist." Shinsou lied, trying to save face. 

Denki positioned you in a supine position and crossed your arms over your chest.

"I'm going to hypnotize her, not put her in a fucking tomb." Shinsou rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. Just do it, before I get bored. Also, if you think you're going to trick me into giving her up, you've got another thing coming." Denki snapped.

His tone grew darker, possessive. He settled his long limbs onto the coffee table and pushed the cans and pizza boxes off to the side.

"Shut the fuck up." Shinsou mumbled. He walked over to the arm of the couch where your head is situated and stood over you.

Smoke-scented fingers caressed your cheek and jaw. You looked up into Shinsou's eyes and they turned dark like cold, jagged amethysts.

"I need you to relax for me, kitten. Breathe slow and easy, don't force them out. Just let them come slow and easy, just like that. Good girl." 

His hand moved to stroke your hair and your squinted eyes shut completely.

"Keep breathing and slowly begin to count backwards from fifty. Come on, do it for me, baby. I know you can." 

Denki's golden eyes watched with intent and arousal; watching you submit to Shinsou's whim so easily was making him even harder than he was previously.

"50…49…48…47…46…"

Your arms slumped by your sides as you drifted off. 

—--

1976

—--

The crickets' songs were melodious in your ears as you walked through your darkened college campus to get back to your dormitory.

The women's dorms were situated far from the main campus and the only way to get there was through a thick, wooded area.

"Silly me for not watching the time and ending up kicked out on my ass at 8pm at night. So not groovy." You chuckled.

Your platform sandals thumped against the ground, the material of your flared pants swishing over them with every calculated step that you took.

It was a bit of a chilly night, not unusual for your hometown, but tonight oddly seemed much colder.

The breeze ruffled your clothes and you looked up into the obsidian night sky. The moon was high and the stars swirled behind the dark gray clouds like a vortex, waiting to swallow up the wispy bits of condensation. 

"How beautiful…"

Suddenly, one of those stars began growing larger and larger. It seemed to be moving towards the Earth; a comet maybe?

No.

It's much bigger and much wider than a comet would be and it's…spinning.

Hot.

The heat was all around you at once and you were trapped. A mechanical whirring sound reverberated in your ears and drummed against your brain. 

Bright, green light emanated from the flying disk as it landed amongst the trees, crushing many of them under its massive weight. 

The sound of multiple tree trunks cracking and bending under it sounded like multiple whips cracking against flesh and the sound made you wince. You dropped your books and covered your ears. 

"What…this can't be happening right now…"

You whispered softly and clenched your eyes shut. The biting cold was now no match for the heat that had engulfed your entire being. 

You fainted.

—--

We are not the same. I am a Martian..

We are not the same. I am a Martian..

(Greetings from Planet Weezy,

We will begin transmission in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…)

Phone home! (Weezy)

Phone home! (Weezy)

Phone home! (Weezy)

Phone home! (Weezy)

And if you feel like you're the best go 'head and do the Weezy-wee and

Phone home! (Weezy)

Phone home! (Weezy)

—-

You awoke sometime later in a cold room with steel walls.

"What happened to me..I..what the hell?"

You tried to move your arms, but they were strapped down on either side of your head with thick leather straps.

"What the fuck?! Let me go! Let me out of here! Anybody! Somebody - help me!"

All of your racket must have alerted whoever else was on the ship with you, because the metal door opened, lifting up from the floor slowly.

Purple smoke filtered under the door and two white-robed figures walked in.

You looked at them and they looked back at you. Then they looked at each other and began speaking in a language that your puny human brain couldn't even begin to comprehend.

The two of them looked like regular humans, but you knew that they were anything but.

The shorter one of the two, a blonde with a black zig-zag stripe through one side of his hair, focused on you. 

He was wearing blue visor-like eyewear that shielded his honey-colored eyes from your vision. The man began to approach your bedside and only upon closer inspection did you realize that he was carrying a metal try with various surgical tools on it.

While the blonde situated himself on a stool beside your bed, the other, a much taller man with wild purple hair, matching eyes, and a black mouthpiece concealing the lower portion of his face sat down at the foot of your bed…table…examination table.

He said something else to the blonde, who nodded without looking up from the laptop that he was now typing on.

He moved a slim finger to press something on the screen - you couldn't read the text, it must be in whatever language they were speaking - and you noticed that his skin was a sickly-looking pale green color and his fingers ended in very sharp black talons.

Definitely not human.

—-

We are not the same, I am a Martian

And I'm hotter than summer rain like Carl Thomas

Lock, load, ready to aim at any target 

I could get your brains for a bargain like I bought it from Target 

—-

The purple-haired one seemed content with just watching you, but he began twisting the knobs on the sides of his mouthpiece.

Greetings, human.

The sound rang inside your head like a bell. It didn't seem to have come from his mouth, but since you couldn't see his lips, you really didn't know. 

"I-I…what do you plan to do with me? Please, just let me go home…!"

You pleaded to him, but your cries didn't seem to really affect him. He just continued staring at you, as if you were an insect under a microscope..

An insect that he could easily overpower and crush if you even tried to defy him or his partner. 

We plan to cause you no harm, if and only if you obey us and let us perform some examinations on you…

"W-What kind of examinations?"

The blonde, now finished with his computer work, rose from the stool and grabbed the metal tray.

He joined the purple one at the foot of your bed, having pulled the stool with him to sit back down on.

The purple one said no more, but the blonde reached for your feet and placed them into stirrups at the bottom of the bed.

This setup is one that you're quite familiar with…is he planning to… give you a feminine wellness exam?

Your thoughts on that were quickly diverted once you saw the tools that the blonde had actually picked up.

He wore thick blue gloves made of, what you assumed might be latex, but it had to be stronger or his claws would've ripped right through them.

"No…no no no no…please!" You pleaded, thrashing against the table widely.

In one hand he held what looked like a transvaginal ultrasound probe but on a much larger scale then what you'd find in any doctor's office on Earth.

The blonde spoke again to his companion, his tone coming across as annoyed. 

The purple-haired man slowly rose from his seat and walked over to you.

He placed his large hand atop your sweaty hair and began to gently stroke it in an effort to calm you down.

Hush now, if you don't lie still I'm going to have to sedate you.

Why couldn't you have just done that in the first damn place!?

You wanted to argue back, but thought it less than wise to do so.

The blonde continued on since you seemed to be distracted now. Deciding to not look at whatever he was about to do to you, you focused your attention on the purple-haired man.

He looked into your eyes and his own wrinkled at the corners, like he might be smiling at you. His sharp nails lightly skimmed over your scalp creating a tingling sensation.

Very good, pet. You're doing so well…

He reached behind his head and began to undo the contraption over his mouth.

The last thing that you saw was a wide mouth full of rows of razor-sharp teeth and a long, purple reptilian tongue.

—

We are not the same, I am an alien

Like Gonzales, young college 

Student, who done just flipped the game like Houston

I'm use to Promethazine and two cups, I'm screwed up

And you ain't shit if you ain't never been screwed up

Flow so sick, make you wanna throw your food up

—-

The blonde man pushed the large instrument inside of you and watched from a screen situated above your bed to make sure that he was maneuvering it correctly. 

The large instrument stretched the skin of your stomach so lewdly and the purple-haired man watched it maneuver inside of you, intrigued.

Then, with a very long and very thin needle, the blonde penetrated your belly in order to get to your ovaries and retrieve some eggs.

When he finished, he removed his gloves and washed his hands in a wide, oval-shaped sink made of what looked like pure white marble.  

Your face was covered in sweat and you were breathing heavily, but both men were cooing over you now, stroking your arms and legs while speaking in their strange language.

You didn't exactly remember it, but you somehow ended up back in the forest where you started.

Five days later.

Your roommate, teachers, colleagues, and parents were all worried sick about you, and finally, you were found on the fifth day, curled up in a ball in the middle of the forest.

They were scared that you might have been drugged and assaulted or worse, had a delusional episode and had wandered off by yourself and gotten lost in the forest.

You had no clothes on when they found you; the only thing covering you was a thin blanket made of a shimmery-metallic colored fabric.

The story became a big sensation in your town, but many were skeptical of you because of your schizophrenia.

You went on to finish college and live a pretty successful life, but that one night all those years ago still haunted you..

—-

I never had life and I never had fear

I rap like I done died and gone to heaven I swear

And yeah I'mma bear, like black and white hair, so I'm polar

And they can't get on my system cause my system is the Solar

I am so far from the othars, I meant others

I just eat them for supper, get in my spaceship and hover, hover

—-

Present Day, 2023

—-

"Damn, it really worked…" Denki said in awe as his eyes raked over your still body. "Isn't she supposed to like, talk, though? She hasn't said a word."

Currently, you haven't really said anything or moved much. Shinsou really had no idea what the hell he was doing, but he knew that he hadn't killed you, so all wasn't lost.

"She's so cute, I could give a damn about her stupid alien story." Denki got up from the coffee table and began unbuckling his jeans. 

"Whoa, you're really going to fuck an unconscious girl?" Shinsou asked, a bit taken aback.

The blonde scoffed, "Please, cut the nice guy act, will you? It really doesn't suit you. Besides, I saw her first, so I'm going to fuck her." He shrugged, uncaring. 

"Wait, stop. She just moved. She can probably hear us." Shinsou looked at your face, and sure enough your lips were moving and you were mumbling something.

"Please stop…hurts…let me go…help...someone…" Tumbled out of your Chapstick-coated lips.

"She's probably talking to the aliens, so she's not unconscious." Denki snickered. He elbowed Shinsou out of the way and straddled your legs over the couch. A zipper came down and he was now palming his hard cock in one hand while the other reached to pull your top down.

His hand then slapped your face and you jolted, but didn't open your eyes.

"With that weed, her psycho meds, and whatever the hell you just did, we just made her into the perfect little fuck doll for us to enjoy."

"Us? This is crazy…I can't…" Shinsou cut himself off as he looked at the board again.

If he didn't do this, he would be behind Denki.

He would lose to Denki.

He couldn't let that happen.

"Either we fuck her together or no one does and the board remains as is. So what'll it be, Hitoshi?"

—-

I got a dirty mind

I got filthy ways

I'm tryna bathe my ape (ape) in your Milky Way (Way)

I'm a legend, I'm irreverent, I be reverend

I'll be so far u-u-u-p

We don't give a f-u-u-uck

Welcome to the danger zone, step into the fantasy 

You are not invited to the other side of sanity

They calling me an alien, a big-headed astronaut

Maybe it's because ya boy Yeezy get ass a lot

—-

Shinsou situated himself back at the edge of the couch where your head was.

He pulled his own zipper down and let his dick flop right on out and rest against your soft cheek.

"So soft and warm…" His fingers curled into your hair as he began stroking himself. 

"Bet her mouth is much softer and much warmer." Denki sighed. He was jacking himself off with your pretty lace panties wrapped around his condom-covered cock.

—-

You're so, hypnotizing

Could you be the devil? 

Could you be an angel?

Your touch, magnetizing 

Feels like I am floating

Leaves my body glowing 

They say "Be afraid"

You're not like the others

Futuristic lover

Different DNA

They don't understand you 

You're from a whole 'nother world

A different dimension 

You open my eyes 

And I'm ready to go, lead me into the light  

—-

"Probably right…let's find out." Shinsou huffed breathlessly.

He leaned over you, parted your lips with two fingers, and spat into your mouth.

His cold, thin lips covered yours as he kissed you fully on the mouth, slipping his tongue inside.

—-

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me

Infect me with your lovin', fill me with your poison 

Take me, t-t-take me

Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction

Boy, you're an alien 

Your touch, so foreign 

It's supernatural 

Extraterrestrial

—-

After releasing his warm cum all over your pussy, Denki reached for a small box underneath the couch.

Inside were two electric nipple clamps.

"These will really give her the shock of her life." He grinned and attached them to your erect nipples. 

"Wanna do the honors?" He tossed the small, black remote to Shinsou, who was rubbing his swollen cock over your wet lips.

Shinsou pressed a button on the remote and your body jerked from the electric shock, making Denki giggle.

—-

You're so supersonic

Wanna feel your power

Stun me with your laser

Your kiss, is cosmic

Every move is magic

You're from a whole 'nother world

A different dimension 

You open my eyes 

And I'm ready to go, lead me into the light 

—-

"Fuck..!"

"S-shit.."

Both men moved in a rhythm; Denki thrusting into your cunt while Shinsou did the same action with your mouth.

"I'm going to…blow my fucking load..ahh shit, she's so tight for such a dumb slut." Denki groaned, his hips jerking faster and faster, making the couch scrape back and forth against the floor. 

"I'm close, too…fuck…so good…such a good kitten, take all of my cum, now. Drink it all up like a good bitch." 

Shinsou's head flopped forward and he grasped one of your tits while he orgasmed hard.

His cum flooded your mouth and spilled over the sides. The lavender-haired man tutted and used his thumb to push it back inside your mouth.

"Fuck!" Denki shouted and sunk his knees into the couch as he came hard into the condom. He had to catch his breath before he climbed off of you. Your panties were stuffed in his back pocket as he went to trash the condom and clean himself up.

Shinsou sank down onto the coffee table and pulled out another cigarette while he watched you.

It was now evening and the windows had darkened along with the changing sky.

Multiple stars littered the sky outside and the moon shone through the window where Denki had left the curtains open a smidgen.

When Denki came back, you were coming to with a shocked and confused look on your face. 

"It's you, again…it's you! You came back!" You cried. 

Without any care for how you might've looked, you sat upright urgently and wrapped your arms around yourself.

The blonde and purple-haired men just stared at you with bored expressions on their faces. 

They had gotten what they wanted and now had no use for you or any regard for your well-being whatsoever. 

That blonde and lavender hair, those sharp, cunning eyes…they were the same as those from all those years ago…how could you have not noticed it before?

"Stay away from me, you monsters!" 

You threw a pillow from the couch at Denki and he caught it. A smirk covered his lips as he watched you run out of the door with your skirt pushed up your hips, no shoes, no purse, and your hand haphazardly holding your breasts inside your top.

"Do you think she'll tell anyone?" Shinsou asked, smoke curling from his lips as he spoke.

Denki reached for another pre-rolled blunt that had been pushed off the side of the table during your activities. 

"Even if she did, who would believe a crazy bitch like her?"

—-

You ran completely out of the building, into the night.

You didn't know exactly where you were running to, but you knew that you had to get away from there.

Ahh, there you are. We've finally found you, again.

Your head whipped around behind you, where you could see two, tall, robed figures standing there. The moonlight reflected off of that tell-tale visor, while long, skinny fingers clicked and turned the wheels on the sides of a black mouthpiece. 

Our little test subject…

You screamed. 

—-

I know a bar out in Mars

Where they driving spaceships instead of cars

Cop a Prada space suit up out the stars

Getting stupid high straight up out the jars

Pockets on Shrek, rockets on deck

Tell me what's next? Alien sex?

I'ma disrobe you, then I'ma probe you

See, I abducted you, so I tell you what to do

(I tell you what to do, what to do, what to do)

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me

Infect me with your lovin', fill me with your poison 

Take me, t-t-take me

Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction

Boy, you're an alien 

Your touch, so foreign 

It's supernatural 

Extraterrestrial

----

*ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵖᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵃᵗᵉᵈ!

[gaylanrivens]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @willowmckinley and @skelingtonsderek thanks justiesssss

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 27!! Which still feels fake after having less than ten until like may of this year. 17 are Justified.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 24,181.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I mostly only ever write for one fandom at a time so rn its just Justified. But in the past I've written for Supernatural, Julie and the Phantoms, 9-1-1, Stranger Things, Ted Lasso and The Walking Dead. And a number of ones that have never gotten past wip lmao

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? family we find, I Can't Steal You (Like You Stole Me), i could be found, I could be what you had saved, A Fan Knows, blueboys and teddy bears. The popularity of family we find is baffling to me. Also willow did top five justified too so: such a sight to see and it's all for me, feels like i am floating, leaves my body glowing, body's aching for every single drop of your love, might drive this car real fast until we die, sent you a bag of candy dicks. Those first two both having titles from katy perry songs is hilarious.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yeah! Idk I guess I just like showing i appreciate people commenting

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Definitely will it tear the skin right off our bones?! I'm generally a happy or at least bittersweet/hopeful ending person but that one is angst all the way down lmao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Fuck uhhhh I'm not really sure most of them have happy endings bc im allergic to sad endings most of the time

8. Do you get hate on fics? Only one time and i still think about it bc it was so insane and chronically online look at this its so funny

9. Do you write smut? Yeah! Its definitely not my strong suit but im trying to work on it and get more comfortable writing it

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No but I really want to write a justified/spn crossover. I was going to write one for ted lasso bc every fandom needs an spn crossover but I never quite figured it out

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nah

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No but @willowmckinley has jumped in the slasher au sandbox

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I'm supposed to just pick one after 14 years in fandom? No. Top three in no particular order: stucky, destiel and raylanboyd.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? God so many im so bad at finishing fics

16. What are your writing strengths? ....fuck if I know

Also I think I do generally good with dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Everything definitely that I cant drag anything out

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I've never done it!

19. First fandom you wrote for? Supernatural

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? All of slasher au it is my baby please read it if its in your comfort zone

I think the justie corner is covered tag wise so @vodka-rocks-and-a-piece-of-toast and anyone else that wants to do it!

[alarrytale]

Who takes care of the songs to determine sexuality? Ricky Martin sang SHE BANGS with an ad hoc music video, and yet…

It would be nice if harries and other antis stayed in their line and stopped trolling…

To your extraordinary claim anon. To equate fake relationships with “someone looked at someone” is ridiculous. We’ve heard from Colton Haynes, Lance Bass and Jonathan Knight about closeting and how they were forced to pretend to date women. And Katy Perry was told a baby would help her career. Yet antis would rather ignore all this and pretend homophobia doesn’t exist

Hi, anons!

It think it would help if everyone didn’t take everything at face value and interpret everything so literally. It would also be great for people to understand that the lyrics aren’t autobiographical from H or L's pov. It would also be great if straight wasn't the default sexuality, and that you have to prove beyond resonable doubt that someone is queer. Queer people exists and closeting exists. Closeted people will appear straight at face value, but if you look closer you'll see the real them. You have to know what to look for and have an open mind. That's hard for some people to remember.

[grapejuicebluesrry]

Just remembered. Katy Perry said it was suggested to her that she should have a fake baby.

[mermaidinthecity]

They know what is what. But they don't know what is what. Katy Perry. They just know what is what. Young Money. But they don't know what is what. They just know what is what. But they don't know what is what. They just strut. Hahaha, yo. What the fuck? Pink Ferragamo sliders on deck Silly rap beefs just get me more checks. My life is a movie, I'm never off set. Me and my amigos. No, not Offset. Swish swish, aww I got them upset. But my shooters'll make 'em dance like dubstep. Swish, swish, aww, my haters is obsessed. 'Cause I make M's, they get much less. Don't be tryna double back. I already despise you. All that fake love you showing couldn't even disguise you. Ran? When? Nicki getting tan. Mirror mirror who's the fairest bitch in all the land? Damn, man, this bitch is a Stan. Muah, muah, the generous queen will kiss a fan. Ass goodbye, I'ma be riding by. I'ma tell my Biggz, yeah that's tha guy. A star's a star, da ha da ha. They never thought the swish god would take it this far. Get my pimp cup, this is pimp shit, baby. I only rock with Queens, so I'm making hits with Katy. Swish, swish, bish. Another one in the basket. Can't touch this. Another one in the casket. They know what is what. Do they know? But they don't know what is what. They just know what is what. But they don't know what is what. They just know what is what. But they don't know what is what. They just strut. What the.

Swish Swish by Katy Perry

[ziamscolours]

Babygate in Hollywood

What is babygate?

Is babygate legal?

Source: ig. babygate_explained

Can a minor be involved in this?

As long as his/her responsible adult allows it, it could be his/her father/mother or a legal guardian.

Celebrities and babygate

In the case of Katy Perry that was a way for her to get out of the way, if it hadn't been for what she did she would have had a babygate, it should be noted that this video of that event "doesn't exist".

June 27: The next show after Gothenburg was in Helsinki, where someone thought bringing a baby doll to a One Direction concert was a good idea, Louis and Liam referred to the doll as BABY. Louis said 3 times: IT'S NOT REAL

July 17: Michael Jackson's Billie Jean is the first song to be played AFTER the show ended. There is no video, but many people confirmed it.

I've already lost count of how many times they've been related to Michael Jackson's Billie Jean.

Louis posted this on January 27th.

A day later Ian Bohen posted this:

I think is not necessary to mention that this was a total shade.

Is it something common?

[skepticalarrie]

I didn't have a clue about Katy Perry doing that fake baby thing. Can't believe I missed that! And sponsored by Fit Tea? Pretty sure I remember a certain someone "advertising" that a few years ago. Surely that was a dig at babygate. Everyone knows Katy is a Larrie

jjahsjahsahajhsakjsals

[coochellati]

Tucked by Katy Perry is the single best F/O song out there

“I keep you tucked away inside my head/ Where I can find you anytime I want to, baby”

A song about having a fake relationship with someone in ur head? And no one around her knows about it? Katy Perry has an F/O im calling it now

[curlyfusilli123]

i'll give you the sun playlist <3

these are random associations i made between songs and igyts characters/ships/stories and it's 12 am and i'm bored so why not

boys will be bugs - cavetown for noah

"I'm a dumb teen boy, I eat sticks and rocks and mud"

"Don't mess with me, I’m a big boy now and I'm very scary"

"I have friends who understand me, their names are spider, beetle bee"

this song is totally a representation of noah's personality. i mean noah spends most of his time outdoors. in the trees. with bugs and animals. you can't tell me this wouldn't be his favorite song c'mon.

august - taylor swift for noah and brian (this one's gonna be a looong one)

"But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine"

"Your back beneath the sun Wishin' I could write my name on it Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinkin' I had you"

"And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose You weren't mine to lose, no"

IT'S SETTLED. THIS SONG BELONGS TO NOAH AND BRIAN PLEASE DON'T TELL ME OTHERWISE. just remember the way they spent every day of the summer together and how noah felt when brian had to go away to boarding school after everything that's happened. the summer went by so quickly and it ended horribly for both of them even though they were seriously crushing on each other.

california girls - katy perry

I declare this the national anthem of 13-year-old Jude and the Hornets. Do I even have to explain?

diana - one direction (dianna sweetwine and guillermo garcia)

oh god, oh god. this song was made for guillermo and dianna's story. i mean, these lyrics:

"Diana, let me be the one to Light a fire inside those eyes You've been lonely, you don't even know me But I can feel you crying Diana, let me be the one to Lift your heart up and save your life I don't think you even realize Baby, you'd be saving mine Diana"

AND PARTICULARLY,

"I wanna reach out for ya, I wanna break these walls I speak a different language, but I still hear you call"

REMEMBER? REMEMBER, REMEMBER?! GUILLERMO IS A MAN WHO WHEN HE WALKS IN A ROOM ALL THE WALLS FALL DOWN. it's obvious that Louis Tomlinson read I'll Give You the Sun and loved it so much he wrote a song about it

enchanted - taylor swift (jude and oscar)

"There I was again tonight Forcing laughter, faking smiles Same old tired, lonely place Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy Vanished when I saw your face All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you"

this verse might as well be based on when jude was looking for guillermo's studio all weary and desperate until she went to the church and met oscore and, well, you know

"Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?" 'Cross the room your silhouette Starts to make its way to me The playful conversation starts Counter all your quick remarks Like passing notes in secrecy"

god, i rewrote an entire verse of this song in jude's point of view because it's actually perfect. they both met each other indirectly before they ACTUALLY met each other and when they spent time together it was all like, "where have i seen you before?!?!" and i think this verse really just speaks for the origins of their relationship

better than revenge (jude and oscar and brooke)

a little irrelevant ig but these lyrics perfectly describe that part when jude hid in the closet in the studio while oscar and brooke were hanging out

"The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and

I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him

She came along, got him alone and let's hear the applause

She took him faster than you could say "sabotage""

traitor - olivia rodrigo (noah and brian and freaking courtney)

yeah yeah we're all aware that noah and brian are now out and perfectly happy with each other BUT that huge incident when brian said he's done with noah and then the next day noah saw him and courtney together:

"Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew That you talked to her, maybe did even worse I kept quiet so I could keep you And ain't it funny How you ran to her The second that we called it quits?" "And ain't it funny How you said you were friends? Now it sure as hell don't look like it You betrayed me And I know that you'll never feel sorry For the way I hurt, yeah"

those last two lines especially!! brian was completely overwhelmed with fear of being outed (which is fair) that he probably forgot to consider how noah was feeling or what's been going on with him lately

[shutteredislands]

REYLO MODERN AU FIC RECS

Hi!! I spent my entire winter break reading reylo fics and I feel like I’ve found some gems! I’m boring and don’t like angst, so most of these are pretty fluffy, however, always read the tags before reading. Anyways, happy reading!

Already Home -  College, Roommates, A/B/O, Soulmates AU - Complete - Rated E - 79k

“Oh stop being all Alpha-y.” She flexes her foot, rolling her ankle as if to prove a point, and he doesn’t miss the wince that crosses her expression. “You aren’t my Alpha, and you definitely aren't my soulmate,” she mutters.

He can’t help but let out a dry laugh. “Thank god for small mercies.”

Okay so this is a trope fest but it was so good! I’m not gonna explain the plot in depth because I think going in blind is best for this!

Baby, It's Just Biology - Professor/Student, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 113k

For Rey Jackson, trying to finish your degree in Biomedical Science at Harvard is difficult enough when you're one of the few Omegas on campus.

It's made even more difficult when your Professor is the one to trigger your heat. You can't help it, it's just your biology.

An Alpha Omega love story.

This is the perfect balance of angst, fluff and pure smut. This one Is a lot angstier than anything else on this list, but you can see every stage of this relationship and I loved it so much! Please read the tags on this one!

I’ve got you (under my skin) - Nanny/Single Parent AU - On Hiatus - Rated E - 81k

“Hi, I’m Rey. I’m here for the—”

“Nanny,” Ben blurts out dazedly, still trying to remember how to form coherent thoughts. “You’re the nanny.”

Her smile hitches up a little wider. “Well, I might be.”

Suddenly, Ben thinks he might be in for a whole new world of problems.

Because Rey Johnson is still most likely the only thing standing between him and disaster, that much hasn’t changed, not by a long shot.

And Ben can’t seem to stop staring at her mouth.

In which Ben hires Rey to watch his son... but he can’t seem to stop watching her.

Okay so I almost never read WIPs, but this one was left off in a pretty good place so don’t worry about cliffhangers or anything. I am a sucker for single dad!Ben so expect more of these. I loved this fic so much and get ready for a SMUTFEST.

Light My Fire - Rivals to Lovers, College, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 20k

When rivals Ben and Rey break into a professor's office together, it comes out that Rey might not be the Beta she thinks she is.

I’ve never been the biggest reader of enemies to lovers, until this. This was so so so good! I loved their banter so much, and this is another smutfest lol.

Peacock - Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, Neighbors AU - Complete - Rated E - 72k

Thanks to a series of misunderstandings, failed attempts at flirting, and loud Katy Perry music, Ben grows to hate his new neighbor.

Proposing to her wasn't the best solution to his problems.

This is, hands down, one of the funniest fics I have ever read. I cried actual tears because of how funny this is. Slowish burn, but their banter will keep you engaged the whole time. I love this so much!!

An Unexpected Vacation - Scientist, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 62k 

“You don’t care that someone, that people will watch you fuck?” He looks two seconds away from puking. “Like multiple, multiple people will be able to describe your vagina. They’ll probably analyze it in a boardroom. Someone will feel proud about a shitty PowerPoint full of annotated pictures. They will use words like ‘arousal fluid’ and consult charts and these things will never not be digitally saved. That doesn’t bother you?”

“Are you suggesting my vagina is unworthy of analysis?”

--

In which Rey attempts to bolster her bank account by volunteering to fuck an Alpha in a scientific study. Plans go pear-shaped when she accidentally triggers scientist!Ben’s first Rut.

This was a really funny smutfest and I loved that. I loved Rey and Ben so much, and Ben was the perfect “I hate everyone but you” boyfriend! I love this!

She Doesn’t Normally Bite - Single Parent/Teacher AU - WIP - Rated E - 37k

Ben Solo is a single dad to 6-year old Ellis. Her teacher isn't the old-cat lady that he expects and naturally, sparks fly when they meet. Rey helps show Ben that he is allowed to be happy and the romance is DELICIOUS. There will be the happy ending we all deserve.

Both Ben and Rey have a lot to navigate, and of course - things are never straight forward.

Tw: Bens wife died when their daughter was born - whilst it is mentioned periodically, it does not form a significant part of the story. There'll also be warnings in the notes for the particular chapters it'll be mentioned in.

THIS THE ONLY WIP I WILLL EVER READ REY AND BEN ARE SO FREAKING CUTE AND ELLIS IS SUCH A CUTE KID AHHHHHHH! That is all.

Down an Inch, Up an Inch - A/B/O, Soulmates, Gym Rats AU - Complete - Rated E - 60k

Omega instructor Rey has always been the master of her domain at Rebel Belle Barre and wouldn't dream of dating an Alpha.

When her new neighbors at Supremacy Bootcamp start ruining her classes with their terrible music, she storms over to give them a piece of her mind. She challenges the beefy ex-Marine owner Ben Solo to a plank-off and the loser has to take the other's class. When they spark an unusual connection, can Rey stay away for long?

Has she bitten off more than she can chew with the gentle giant Alpha with the warm, sad eyes?

SMUT FREAKING FESTTTTT. Okay but I loved these two so much, even though I am opposed to working out in any shape or form! I love the non-traditional soulmate part, and I really loved Rey in this. 

Tea for Two - Enemies to Lovers, University Setting AU - Complete - Rated E - 67k 

'"This is a tea house, you know." The plummy, ultra-posh voice startled Rey Kenobi from her day-dreaming, almost spilling the scalding hot coffee over her chest.'

Rey, an American former hacker, turned cyber security expert, has been commissioned by Oxford University to protect their systems from hackers. Unfortunately, she has to work closely with Professor Ben Solo, Merton Professor of English Literature who also happens to be Lord Ben Solo, member of the English peerage. And an unmitigated snob.

She drinks coffee. He drinks tea. He only reads classic literature. She reads Marvel comics. He is nobility. She is a nobody.

Things should go swimmingly, shouldn't it?

SO. MUCH. UNRESOLVED. SEXUAL. TENSION. I loved the slow burn aspect because I sat in bed because I was waiting for them to bone for so long. And after they bone its a smut and fluff-fest I loved this so much!

And They Were Roommates - Roommates, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 49k

“This isn’t going to work.” He points a finger between the two of them. “This arrangement.”

Her eyes narrow. “You didn’t put any specifications on who could apply.”

“Yeah…” He rubs the back of his neck then, the action making it look longer, making her wonder what it might feel like under her fingers. “You have to know that this isn’t a good idea.”

She knows what he means, she does—but she’s so tired of being brushed aside for her designation that she challenges him anyway. “And why not?”

His eyes bore into hers, his expression blank as he says, “Because I can tell how much scent-block you put on—and I can still smell you.”

In which Rey’s new roommate turns out to be a lot more than she bargained for.

EVEN. MORE. UNRESOLVED. SEXUAL. TENSION. Like these two would be eating cereal and I would be chanting, “bone! bone! bone!” the whole time. I loved these two, and the family aspect of this one was so good.

Imprints - A/B/O, Boss/Employee AU - Complete - Rated E - 74k

“I was happy you’ll be working with someone you know. He’ll take good care of you.”

Take good care of you.

The words send a shiver down her spine, sparking memories that flood her with embarrassment. She feels a strange itch just below her ear, her gland giving a phantom pulse as if her body remembers the incident even still.

Suddenly her triumph fades into dread, the idea of working here leaving a hollow pit in her stomach. Poe is still talking, but she doesn’t hear most of it. Her mind is firmly trapped in the vivid memories of six years ago— in a moment she wishes she could forget.

By the time she hangs up the phone— she isn’t sure anymore if she can do this.

Okay so this is pretty popular so I wont say too much, but it lives up to the hype. Smutfest, fluff and angst rolled into one beautiful fic! 

Bespoke - Enemies to Lovers, Boss/Employee (?) AU - Complete - Rated E - 38k 

When new stylist Rey Jackson receives a request to dress the hottest (and most unfashionable) new actor in Hollywood, she gets a lot more than she bargained for.

Mentally AND physically.

Because Ben Solo is freaking massive.

THIS WAS SO HOT OMG! Smutfest but also super cute. Another “I hate everyone but you” version of Ben I fell in love with. Loved this!

Incognito - Coworkers AU - Complete - Rated E - 30k

“Somehow Rey’s coworkers find out about her Daddy kink. They all kink shame her for it, except her coworker Ben. He has something else in mind.”

This was so funny! Ben and Rey were so cute, and I love Finn and Rose in this too! This was great!

A Home For Christmas - Single Parent, Sugar Daddy AU - Complete - Rated E - 109k

Rey is a struggling single mother who needs to do right by her daughter, even if it means she needs to steal. Ben is sad and lonely, recently divorced for the second time. When Rey's daughter picks him to help her find her mom, their paths cross and their Christmas becomes a little more bright.

This was so freaking cute OMG!! I know I say that a lot, but this was so adorable! I loved Ben and Rey so much, but Nova was obviously the star of the show. I cannot recommend this enough!

Unsuppressed - Office, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 49k

Rey had only ever encountered two Alphas in her entire life that had been unsuppressed. And now this third one that stunk up the entire building. Not that it stunk, his scent. In fact, it was the most delicious thing Rey had ever smelled. ///////////////////////////////////// Ben Solo closed his eyes as he rode down the elevator from the 40th floor to the lobby, trying not to reach up to his glands to scratch them. Somehow, it felt like he always caught the elevator that was dripping in the Omega’s scent. The one that wandered around the building without any suppressants. The one that smelled better than any Omega he had ever smelled before.

STRAIGHT FLUFF AND SMUT OMFG!!! I loved this so freaking much! This was whatever the opposite of unresolved sexual tension and slow burn. Like Ben and Rey tried to make this a slow burn but they could not keep their hands off of each other. I loved this!

Sunshine and Gunpowder - Hitman, Surprise Parents AU - Complete - Rated E - 48k

She’s a teacher who would do anything to protect her student. He’s a glorified hitman with a heart of black gold.

Together, they make up odd halves of a beautiful whole.

THIS WAS SO CUTE!! Like, yes, I know Ben is a hitman, but when I tell you he was the softest hit man I have ever read, Temiri was so cute in this! I loved Ben and Rey, and their UST made me love them even more. Han and Leia are also hilarious in this! 

It Takes a Village - A/B/O, Surprise Parents AU - Complete - Rated E - 40k 

Who knew that all it would take for Rey Johnson to interact with her enigmatic Alpha neighbor without wanting to melt into a puddle of hormones was a baby being abandoned at her doorstep?

Not her. That was for sure.

THIS IS THE CUTEST ONE YET! I REREAD THIS QUITE OFTEN! LIKE AHHHHHHH SO FREAKING FLUFFY! NOT EVEN A WHISPER OF ANGST AND A LOT OF SMUT I LOVED THIS SO FREAKING MUCH AHHHH! AND THE EPILOGUE MADE ME CRY!

Sensual Storytime - Office AU - Complete - Rated E - 23k

When Rey Johnson starts a new job, her initially antagonistic relationship with Ben Solo from IT turns into friendship... and maybe something more.

Little does she know he also moonlights as Kylo Ren, the creator of her favorite audio erotica. One day at the office, worlds collide, and she realizes the sweater vest-wearing nerd of her dreams is also the tattooed fantasy man she listens to while getting off every night...

THIS IS MY FAVORITE REYLO FIC EVER. I RECOMMEND THIS TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T EVEN LIKE STAR WARS! THIS IS COWORKER BANTER LIKE NO OTHER. AND THE SMUT ? UNPARALLELED. READ THIS NOW!

That is all I have time for right now, but I’ll make another list later if anyone would like that! Please take care of yourself and have a great day! 

[mermaidinthecity]

Isn't it wild that I know your weakness? And everybody at the party thinks that you're the best since sliced bread. And isn't it awkward I got a new somebody? And honestly it'll probably be a while before we can just be friends. I just can't believe we went from strangers to lovers to strangers in a lifetime. Now just memories. We've gone from strangers to lovers to strangers. Small talk. Acting like we never met. Faking like we'd just forget we were lovers. And now there's nothing left but small talk. Had every inch of your skin. There's nowhere your hands haven't been, hands haven't been. Ain't it funny? 'Cause now there's nothing left but small talk. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Now there's nothing left but small talk. Blah blah blah blah. Nothing left‚ nothing left‚ baby. Blah blah blah blah. Nah. Blah blah blah blah. Oh no. Now there's nothing left but small talk.

Small Talk by Katy Perry

[nekoma-manager]

HAIKYUU: SONGS THEY WOULD LISTEN TO PART 1

includes: kuroo, suna, oikawa and yamaguchi

trigger warnings: absolute bangers!!!

a/n: this is probably my favourite set of hcs that i’ve done yet - let me know you’d like to see in part 2, i feel like my music taste is a mix between kuroo and suna <3

KUROO

la devotee - panic! at the disco

kissaphobic - make out monday

teenager in love - neon trees

starboy- the weekend

sun flower - rex orange county

teenage dirtbag - wheatus

sugar we’re going down - fall out boy

just my type - the vamps

SUNA

super massive black hole - muse

what he don’t know - anarbor

magnolia - playboi carti

island in the sun - weezer

europa- santana

still loving you - scorpions

lover of mine - 5 seconds of summer

cry baby - the neighbourhood

OIKAWA

fresh - artist vs poet

figure this out - the wrecks

brunettes (do it better) - kidforce

single ladies - beyonce

i will survive - demi lovato

starstrukk - 3oh!3 (feat. katy perry)

up - cardi b

hit and run - lolo

YAMAGUCHI

fake happy - paramore

shape of my heart - sting

japanese denim - daniel caesar

listen before i go - billie eilish

nobody likes the opening band - i don’t know how but they found me

beautiful people beautiful problems - lana del rey

queen tings - masego, tiffany gouche

poker face - lady gaga

masterlist

a/n: don’t forget to give these songs a listen, I promise they won’t disappoint!

[anchorandrope]

arguments of those who believe in bbg

“louis would never involve a minor” “he wouldn’t lie to us”

this gives me impotence because clearly they don’t understand that louis and harry didn’t want to have a babygate, why the hell they would want to have one? do you think that one day the two of them got up and said “oh i want to use a woman and a baby to hide my sexuality of course because it's okay to do it and clearly i don't want to come out of the closet”? it’s OBVIOUS that they were forced to do it. besides, following this logic, they lied to us with their beards and used women to cover up their relationship because they wanted to, hahaha you can see that they don’t understand anything about contracts and they use the word “they wouldn’t lie to us” when it suits them.

“the music industry is bad but not that bad”

this is literally a joke, how the hell are you going to consider yourself a larrie and think that “the industry is not that bad”? being larrie you should know perfectly that the music industry is capable of doing what they did to harry and louis and much more, for the music industry it’s never too much. there are thousands of cases where they did the same or worse things but of course, it’s not that bad!

“it’s disrespectful to doubt his paternity” “it’s wrong to think that he is not his son”

this is like ??? i never understood why is “disrespectful” to doubt the paternity of someone like, pulling out the louis case, if i see that a family where everyone has blue eyes and are blond (parents, grandparents, uncles, etc) and a baby is born with brown eyes and brown hair clearly i’m going to think or is adopted or the woman cheated on the man, and it’s not that i’m a disrespectful for realizing that something doesn’t fit, i simply have reasons to think what i think. in the case of louis we doubt his paternity because we have reasons to do so and that doesn’t make us disrespectful?) i will never understand the “disrespectful” behind doubting about something (on any subject).

“freddie is louis’s copy”

this is one is funny because they have the same face hahaha oh.... literally, the kid is photoshopped 😐 the amount of evidence that they photoshop him are countless and it’s not necessary to be an expert in photoshop or genetic to realize it. besides, whenever you say that they photoshop him, they come out with the genetics and clearly they don’t know how it works because i get traits from my parents, i don’t have the same face haha, they are two very different things and yes, there are people who have faces very similar to the one of their parents but it’s not common nor does it occur in all circumstances. to add, not just any blond kid with blue eyes is exacltly like louis :)

“it’s impossible to fake a pregnancy”

false, it is very possible. faking a pregnancy is neither impossible nor difficult (as we can see), there are many cases where it’s suspected that the pregnancy of a celebrity is false (not exclusively due to the issue of closeting but because maybe the woman is infertile and doesn’t want to say it) so it’s very possible haha.

“stop talking about this, what will freddie think when he grows up and see that everyone said that his father was not his father”

the truth is, i would be more concerned about what the minor is going to think when he grows up and sees that his family used him to put in the closet a couple and earn money for that. let’s put it like this: you prefer to believe that the kid is “going to feel bad” because of seen teenagers analyzing their father's life and supporting briana’s family and running the risk that if you are wrong you were supporting people who used a minor to earn money or you prefer not to defend that family and in the case that you were wrong, the worst that will happen is that the kid will “feel bad” for seeing that they said that his father was not his father? in one case you support abusers and in the other you “make the child feel bad”... no possibility is nice but which one do they prefer?

“in that photo you can’t see her belly because of the angle”

wow i just found out that if i take a picture at a certain angle, an 8-month-old belly disappears! tremendous, why dieting if with just one angle i can lose 7 pounds? consistency please.

“briana stole photos of other pregnant women because she had a lot of pressure”

mm how weird that a stranger has so much “pressure” to steal photos right? katy perry is a thousand times more famous than she, therefore she had more pressure and we didn’t see her stealing photos of other pregnant woman😐

“louis hates you”

this one is sad because it makes me sick that people think that louis is capable of hating one of his fans, whatever the thought they has😩 the truth is, i know him well enough to say for sure that he would never hate one of his fans. it’s also funny because a grown man hating teenagers for how they think is quite a failure and clearly louis isn’t a failure nor does he have enough free time to hate us lol.

“get yourself a dad” “you need a dad”

hahahaha this is one of my favorites, not only because it will always be funny that when someone is stupid they blame men for their paternal absence so the fact that they use it as an insult in itself it is funny but it’s even more funny because those of us who don't believe in babygate seem to know what paternal love is because it was very easy for us to realize that louis is not a loving or attentive “father” so it seems to me that those who lack a father are those who believe he is one😬

“deactivate” “weirdo” “kill yourself” “psychopath” etc

i don’t like these ones due to the fact that i find it horrible to insult in that way just for thinking differently, although they make me laugh because the only thing that shows is that they don’t have a single argument to contradict us since if they did they would not resort to insults.

when you send them a masterpost and they reply with “to much text”

this is funny because it’s synonymous of “i know you’re right that’s why i don’t want to read it because if i read it i know i‘m going to think differently and i’m going to look stupid and i don't want to” so when they tell you this is when you're doing it right.

the truth is that the “arguments” that twarries use are practically nil because they never told me other one that isn’t one of these so once again they show that they have no way to justify their timelines.

—————————————————

argumentos de lxs que creen en el bbg

“louis no involucraría a un menor” “el no nos mentiría”

esta da una bronca porque claramente no entienden que louis y harry no querían tener un babygate, como mierda van a querer tener uno? que se piensan que un dia los dos se levantaron y dijeron “uy que ganas de usar a una mujer y a un bebe para ocultar mi sexualidad claro porque esta re bien hacerlo y claramente yo no quiero salir de closet”?? es OBVIO que los obligaron a hacerlo. aparte siguiendo esta lógica ellos nos mientieron con las barbas y usaron mujeres para tapar su relación porque querían jajaja se nota que no entiende nada de contratos y usan el “no nos mentirían” cuando les conviene.

“la industria de la musica es mala pero tampoco tanto”

esta es un chiste literalmente, como mierda te vas considerar larrie y pensar que “la industria no es tan mala”?? siendo larrie deberías conocer a la perfección que la industria de la musica es capaz de hacer lo que le hizo a harry y a louis y mucho mas, para la industria de la musica nunca es demasiado. hay miles de casos donde hicieron cosas igual o peores pero claro, no es mala!!

“es irrespetuoso dudar de su paternidad” “esta mal pensar que no es su hijo”

esta es como ??? nunca entendí lo “irrespetuoso” de dudar de la paternidad de alguien tipo, sacando el caso de louis, si yo veo que una famila donde todos tienen ojos azules y son rubios (padres, abuelos, tios, etc) y sale un bebe con ojos y pelo marrón claramente voy a pensar o es adoptado o la mujer cuerneó al tipo y no es que soy una irrespetuosa de mierda por darme cuenta que algo no encaja, simplemente tengo razones para pensar lo que pienso. en el caso de louis nosotrxs dudamos de su paternidad porque tenemos razones para hacerlo y eso no nos hace unas irrespetuosas de mierda?) nunca voy a enteder lo “irrespetuoso” detras de dudar sobre algo (sobre ningun tema).

“freddie es la copia de louis”

esta da risa porque tienen la misma cara jajaj oh.... literalmente, al pibe lo photoshopean 😐 la cantidad de pruebas de que lo photoshopean son incontables y no es necesario ser un experto del photoshop ni de genetica para darse cuenta. aparte, siempre que decis que lo photoshopean salen con la genética y claramente no saben como funciona porque yo saco rasgos de mis padres, no tengo la misma cara jajja son dos cosas muuy distintas y si, si hay gente que tiene la cara muy parecida a la de sus padres pero no es comun ni se da en todas las circunstancias. para agregar, no cualquier pibe rubio de ojos celestes es igual a louis :)

“es imposible fingir un embarazo”

falso, es muy posible. fingir un embarazo no es ni imposible ni difícil (como podemos ver), hay muchos casos donde se sospecha que el embarazon de una celebridad es falso (no exclusivamente por el tema de closeting sino de que por ahi la mujer es infertil y no lo quiere decir) asi que muy posible es jaja.

“dejen de hablar de esto, que va a pensar freddie cuando sea grande y vea que todos decían que su papá no era su papá”

la verdad yo me preocuparía mas en que va a pensar el nene cuando crezca y vea que su familia lo usó para enclosetar una pareja y ganar plata por eso😳 vamos a ponerlo asi: prefieren creer que el nene se “va a poner mal” porque vea a unxs adolescentes analizando la vida de su papá y apoyar a la familia de briana y correr el riesgo de que si estas mal estuviste apoyando a personas que usaron un menor para ganar plata o preferís no defender a esa familia y en el caso de que estes mal lo peor que va a pasar es que el nene se “ponga mal” por ver que decían que su papá no era su papá? en un caso apoyas a abuzadores y en el otro “haces sentir mal” al menor... ningúna posibilidad es linda pero cual prefieren?

“en esa foto no se le ve la panza por el ángulo”

wow me acabo de enterar que si me saco una foto en cierto angulo se me va a una panza de 8 meses! tremendo, para que hacer dieta si con solo un ángulo ya puedo bajar 7 kilos? coherencia por favor.

“briana robó fotos de otras embarazadas porque tenía mucha presión”

mm que raro que una desconocida tenga tanta “presión” como para robar fotos no? katy perry es mil veces mas famosa que ella por ende tenía mas presión y no la vimos robando fotos de embarazadas 😐

“louis te odia”

esta es triste porque me da pena que haya gente que piense que louis es capaz de odiar a una de sus fans sea el pensamiento que tenga😩 la verdad lo conozco lo suficiente como para decir segura que el jamas odiaría a una de sus fans. también es gracioso porque que un hombre adulto este odiando adolescentes por como piensan es bastante fracasado y claramente louis no es fracasado ni esta tan al pedo como para odiarnos lol.

“conseguite un papá” “te falta un papá”

jajajajaj esta es una de mis favoritas, no solo porque siempre va a ser gracioso que cuando alguien es boludo culpen a los hombres por su ausencia paterna asi que lo usen como insulto ya de por si es gracioso pero es aún mas gracioso porque se ve que las que no creemos en el babygate sabemos lo que es el amor paterno porque se nos dio muy facil darnos cuenta que louis no es un “padre” amoroso ni atento asi que me parece que a las que les falta un padre es a las que creen que lo es😬

“desactiva” “down” “mogólica” “inválida” “matate” “droppealo” etc

estos no me gustan por el hecho de que me parece horrible insultar de esa manera solo por pensar distinto, aunque me dan risa porque lo único que demuestra es que no tienen un solo argumento para contradecirmos ya que si los tuvieran no recurririan a los insultos.

cuando les mandas un masterpost y te ponen “mucho texto”

esta es graciosa porque es sinonimo de “se que tenes razon por eso no lo quiero leer porque si lo leo se que voy a pensar distinto y voy a quedar como una estupida y no quiero” asi que cuando te dicen eso es que estas haciendo las cosas bien.

la verdad los “argumentos” que usan las twarries son prácticamente nulos porque nunca me dijieron uno que no sea uno de estos asi que una vez mas demuestran que no tienen manera de justificar sus timelines.

[geekkatsblog]

Videos the Batkids posted that went Viral. (Bruce Edition)

Dick Grayson

Posted a video of Bruce doing Just Dance (The Wii game) to Swish Swish by Katy Perry. After Jason shot a comment, telling Bruce he wouldn't make it past the first three moves of the dance which resulted in the rest of the kids joining in on the on the teasing. Bruce agreed to try the game to shut them up.

He proved them all wrong by doing the dance flawlessly but the video went viral and the Justice League hasn't let him live it down since, even going as far as to play it before one of the founders meetings.

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Jason Todd

Did a prank video on Bruce by pretending he was near death (courtesy of Stephanie's make up skills). Of course Bruce completely freaked out to the point of hysteria and by the time it was revealed that all of the blood and injuries on Jason were fake they had enough footage to make a viral video.

Bruce was pissed off and raged off for at least 2 hours after but it was totally worth it.

And totally not just because Bruce initiated a talk about how important to Jason is to him

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Casandra Wayne

In attempts to make Quarantine a little better for kids especially the ones in her ballet school who were sad because classes were cancelled, Cassandra started doing free Ballet classes on instagram live (it was already gaining a lot of attention, because the fact that Cassie was showing herself at all was a miricle), she invited Bruce to help her with a class and because Bruce can never say no to his little girl he agreed.

Bruce may be able to lift over twice his weight, disappear without a sound and be incredibly smart but he could not grasp the art of ballet. He didn't get any of the moves and almost fell a few times and eventually tapped out when he twisted his ankle.

The ankle took a week to heal but the video lasted much longer.

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Tim Drake

After Bruce banned Tim from having coffee for a month due to over consumption, Tim decided to hide the coffee from Bruce, as well as all of the car keys so he couldn't leave to get any. (If he can't have coffee then neither can Bruce)

Needless to say within 3 hours after he woke up, two toddler like tantrums from Bruce and one very important upcoming online Wayne Enterprises meeting to attend later in the afternoon. The coffee ban was lifted from Tim and the coffee was returned.

The whole thing was recorded (courtesy of Jason which Tim later posted.) the video went viral and Starbucks offered to sponsor Tim, if he promotes their coffee.

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Damian Wayne

It surprised everyone, but he did a home dna testing kit video. He played it off as a joke, but too many people were saying that he was just some kid that their mother pawned off on Bruce because she didn't want him and Bruce should've sent him back. He heard the whispers at the galas and the people on the talk shows discussing how he looked nothing like Bruce due to his green eyes and darker complexion, and as much as Damian pretended not to care, it did bother him. Going to live with his father was one of the best things to happen to him and for people to say he didn't belong bothered him so he decided to prove the world wrong.

The test came back in his favor and Bruce expressed to him afterwards that even if it didn't, it wouldn't have changed anything because he was always going to be his son no matter what.

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Duke Thomas

Did a Q and A via questions submitted by fans on twitter. A lot of the questions were cringy, cliche or border line sexual harassment but the interaction between the two was entertaining, but the main reason it went viral was because it included Bruce asking a lot of questions about the slangs the used in their questions some of the statements that went viral were

"What the hell is a boomer anyway? it sounds like someone who has a loud voice."

"Why would Netflix and Chill not be about watching Netflix and relaxing?"

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Stephanie Brown

Brought Bruce on the channel so she could do a make up tutorial, he finally relented because, she claimed to only have 2000 followers (which was in no way true since she actually had 200k and gaining new subscribers rapidly.) the final nail in the coffin was when she said he had helped everyone else's channels get views. It was all fine at first, she did the make up while making small talk and added a few jokes, but then she revealed the final piece and Bruce was horrified, but secretly impressed to see Joker looking back at him. The whole thing was a mess the world marvelled at the make up art and wondered just how she got all the details of the Joker so perfectly, they commented how it was almost like she'd knew him in person.

The whole thing went to shit even more when, The Joker responded on Twitter telling Bruce that he was welcomed to apply to be the new Harley at any point.

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At this point I'm just making headcannons to help soothe the pain of what Dc is doing to my baby boy Dick who got shot in the head and is now calling himself Ric. 😭😭😭 And the refusal to improve the relationship of Bruce and Jason.