#kats meds

[adhdandelion]

Ritalin, Day 0

Okay, so, I HAVE to revive this blog. Because it is happening. I bit the bullet, basically - four years after getting diagnosed with ADHD, I finally got a prescription for ritalin.

It took so long because the last psychiatrist I went to was an ass. Who only prescribed me Strattera without trying ritalin first, and Strattera didn't work for me and I TOLD HIM and he didn't listen to me and FOR MONTHS things only got worse and worse for me until I flipped my shit and swore to never go to a psychiatrist again.

But now I did, only after getting a recommendation by someone on tumblr who swore that her Psychiatrist was absolutely wonderful. Hella expensive of course. but I have a job and not that many great expenses, so whatever.

I visited her last week, on wednesday, I was so freaking nervous and honestly I barely even had any real hope that she would listen to me. But she did, she was incredibly kind, and she prescried me ritalin, no trouble at all.

But, I had to get an EKG and a blood test. I spent half a day calling around for a cardiologist, no one had an opening before the follow up with the psychiatrist. so close to the finish line and still everything was a hassle. Finally, the last doctor i found on the internet, with a horrendous review rating, would to the test on monday. another 250€ spent but hey. anything for the good drugs.

And that doc wouldn't do the blood test so I went to another place for that, at least it is fairly easy to get an appointment for a quick blood test. And the blood test was free, yay!

So now I have the results, the EKG and heart echo thing was perfecty fine, and the blood test seems ok, too, from what I can tell. Two things are ever-so-slightly out of range, but I doubt that should be a problem.

I emailed the results to the doc yesterday, late night. and since this morning i am freaking tf out because I haven't heard back - I know she's busy and all, but i want to finally knowwwwwww if ritalin works i want to know if it makes life so much lighter for me, like so many other people have said. I have waited for so so so long and now every minute feels like TORTURE AAAAAHHHHHHH i just want to finally know

Since she wrote the script last week already, and I already got the ritalin from the pharmacy, I already have it at home. And it is taking every fibre of my being to not just take the drugs. I want to be a good patient and wait for her true OK but i am not a patient patient.

Making an adhd patient wait is... approximately the worst hell imaginable.

It is now past noon and I have gotten literally nothing done for work. I am working from home today... or rather not working lmao. It would be great if I could take the ritalin and it would just kick me into gear so that I can actually get at least anything done. I called her office at noon but she didn't get to it yet. My brain can't form a thought not related to adhd or ritalin etc, i am a vibrating ball of anxiety, fear, excitement, worry that it won't work after all, feeling kinda nauseous from it all even before taking the meds, and most of all IMPATIENCE i HATE waiting it is the SINGLE WORST THING in the entire world (i am an adult who almost had a meltdown in public while waiting in a queue for an ice cream cone and i had to run away from the queue without getting ice cream even after waiting for several minutes because i would have started crying like a toddler if i had had to wait a second longer - i am not good at waiting, okay)

AAARGHHGHGHGHHG this is TORTURE

[lesbiangiratina]

What if you got a depression diagnosis so you were like well guess ill get on this antidepressant ive been on before. Because you are very scared of side effects to a neurotic degree and it was fine when you were a teenager. But it starts making your anxiety and ocd worse. Largely manifesting in worrying about and compulsively checking your blood pressure. What if on day 6 the antidepressant kicked in with a new side effect uhh raising your blood pressure. Around 140/90s but lets throw a 170/100 in there for fun. Isnt that fun. I had a fun night

[kattythingz]

OKAY OKAY everyone hear me out: An edling spy x family au. Starring Ling as Loid, Ed as Yor, and Nina as Anya. And ofc Alexander as Bond. Ling plays the fool just looking to marry so his overbearing father can get off his back, while Ed says it's to soothe his little brother's worries about him being alone forever; Al would believe it if Ed got a queerplatonic partner (aroace ed ftw). And Nina just wants a family. Cue the hijinks.

Al acts as a barrier with less of a brother complex (tho the elrics are still kinda co-dependent) and moreso majorly worried that Ed was forced into amatonormativity. He thinks Ling pressured Ed into this somehow or that Ed's holding some internalized aphobia.

Ling, of course, is too down bad to do any of that. Something that Ed slowly finds himself warming up to.

DO YOU SEE THE VISION???

[two-sibyls-tall]

[thescoutgaymer]

HELLOOOOOO I'm Scout (duh) 💪

I've seen some other blogs 'round here and decided to take part in it, no big deal

I'll probably reblog stuff most of the time, but I'm down to talk to fellow mercs and answer any asks 🙏

I ALSO DRAW! So I'll try to draw any asks if I can!!! But I've been busy with killin' and being awesome to draw much sadly

#sciut's reblogs - for my awesome reblogs 💪

#scout's posts - basic text posts :)

#scout's art - my art, obv

#scout's chats - me just chattin' with ppl on this site

#scout's asks - asks that I've answered

#scout's pics - stuff I take pictures of 👍 (includes selfies)

#scout's stuf - other posts that idk how to label

That's all for now! (P.s, in the tags are some other ones I use)

[melancholytimes]

My YouTube was feeding me clips of old medical shows and I got really into Chicago med so I decided to just watch the show. There’s some characters that I absolutely love and some that need a kick. I’ve watched 10 eps now. I will list the characters and everything I think about them below. 

Dr Charles: my KING! Of course he has his faults but he’s v slay. My gentle giant.

Dr Manning: i won’t lie the actress being Melissa from pll did bias me against her however, good gravy is she annoying. She’s SO judgemental and she lets her interpersonal conflicts affect her judgement and work

Dr Halstead: also SUCKS. A know it all and is very judgemental. Like Manning he lets his conflicts affect his work. He thinks he knows what’s best and will bypass what the patient wants. Like rn he’s in trouble because disobeyed a dnr just cos he’s carrying trauma from his mother dying from cancer

Dr Reese: my baby, she has her faults but she’s still young and learning so she’s allowed a bit of grace. She’s so small and I love her dynamic with dr Charles and the nurses

Dr Choi: HE SUCKS. he’s literally the worst. He’s so judgemental and that makes him a terrible dr and person. He makes snap judgements on patients and that lowers their quality of care significantly. Like telling Charles how that woman with bipolar should just buck up. As a doctor how the hell could you say that fr. Clearly he has some mental health issues and is projecting HEAVILY

Dr Rhodes: he’s an alright guy bit of a god complex but having met his dad it makes sense why he’s like that. That blonde surgeon he works with/ is dating, Sam I believe, she’s gonna cause him some trouble. But I hope it works out

Nurse April: she’s a cool gal. Heavy older sister syndrome (I would know). Good nurse and good friend. So far doesn’t let mess distract her

Nurse Maggie: Queen!! Keeps that ED tight! Reminds me of my mother in a good way. The kind of nurse I imagine her to be.

Miss Goodwin: MUTHA! I love her too. Her job is so difficult but it’s clear shes a very smart woman. Runs the staff like a machine even if some of them have some screws loose

So this show is intertwined with 2 other shows Chicago Fire and Chicago PD so we see characters from those shows some times. I’ve watched a few eps of Fire and a couple random PD ones I’ve seen on tv. I plan on watching Fire as well but idk if I’m down to watch a solo cop show especially cos i know there is come police corruption and nonsense.

Anyways this show has like 8 seasons so I’m locked in for a while and I’m excited.

[side note I’m sick of these streamers making people watch ads when they’re paying for the platform, I’m watching on prime and the ads are annoying knowing that my dad does pay for it. Like I’m alright with ads knowing that the service is free and ads are the cost of doing business but how are we paying and still experiencing ads]

[clonerightsagenda]

Oh also hang on. Quota time. I struggled a bit on this one too because I would have liked to claim George ‘immune to sexy ghost/doesn’t care about appearances’ as an ace icon but he does start furiously polishing his glasses at parties with lots of plunging necklines. Then again aces can notice when people are hot but just don’t feel personally motivated by it. Lockwood on the other hand seems largely uninterested in what anyone else looks like but is determined to be London’s hottest tragic orphan via cultivating outfits only a depressed teen would think were cool, so maybe they can be two different flavors of ace, and Lucy is their token allo which is not helping her figure any of her shit out.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

so i got the adhd diagnosis but she actually gave accommodations that are so helpful and make me so much less stressed for when i have to work a real job and im :')

[katastrophic-n3vulaa]

the likelihood is no one cares, but im here to complain about my philosophy assessment.

so my school has a rule that the assessment notification needs to be given out at least 2 weeks before the due date, both hand-in and in-class assessments and assignments must abide by this

my philosophy teacher (who is AMAZING, but also the only philosophy teacher in the entire school, and he teaches elective philosophy and also ToK and other stuff for ~130 students, and my has 5 lessons a fortnight, each an hour long, and all the other students have that too, except 11 and 12s, who do more sometimes)

anyways, Dr. Hall is amazing but-

he mixed up the due date for my class' assessment w/ year 10s, so we got the notification 6 days from due date (tomorrow, 8/3).

but because he's amazing he halved the assessment. yay.

so all we needed to do was get references to answer a question we dont need to answer (yayayyayay)

the referencing was easy, and i did that all in class, but that was only the hand-in part of the assessment.

so the in-class bit is an evaluation of research methods and then what we call doing an OPVL of a source (origin, purpose, value, limitations)

ok- i'm good at opvls. but. what if words arent working tomorrow? so yeah.

we also get to take in the article that we are going to do the opvl for physically, but the printers have gone to shit, and also- the asshole that wrote the one i decided to do the opvl on (my other options were uni ads or some dude.) used SO MANY big and dumb words. like-ok. sure. i could just try and glue the meanings in my head overnight, but some days i dont remember to eat or drink so theres no way that'd work. so i put all the definitions in too. the problem is that the formatting on word is shit and a massive pain, so i just... copied the article into ao3 to get rid of all the unnecessary formatting (yay braincells)

but it also got rid of the formatting i wanted. :(

anyways so i redid all the formatting and definitions.

then i did my opvl on the side, but bc im basically incapable of doing notes that fuction as NOTES i pretty much did my entire opvl. which.

isnt allowed.

but im too tired now so imma edit it down in the morning. i hope.

see the masterpiece that looks depressingly short and i wish it looked like more but it doesnt so just know the struggle of doing this without adhd meds bc i had shit on in the afternoon:

(top block of text is the evaluation of research in actual notes that is incorrect bc all i did was google and scroll for ~20 minutes but i cant say that its bad marks. the left blocks of text in the left section-bit is the article. the bits on the right are the opvl. no idk why i posted this either.)

[scrollonso]

my shoulder is so swolen i feel like im gonna die gn

[cinematicnomad]

urgentcare said i do NOT have a kidney infection which is? good news, i guess, but also i don’t totally trust them lol

[claudemblems]

Does anyone else feel really bad or just meh during the day and then at night you suddenly have this moment of euphoria where everything feels perfect and comfortable and safe and you have the feeling that everything is gonna be okay

And then your mood might tank right after 😭

I wonder if it's because it's getting darker early and it's cold so maybe I feel more cozy. Or maybe I'm insane. My mood switches up so fast help

[lesbiangiratina]

Damn. The disorder really can be obsessive and compulsive.

[very-lost-hobbit]

I haven't written anything of worth in MONTHS and I'm SO MAD about it 😭

[kat-ryn]

Anxiety!

[litteraturhistorikeren]

Har lige bestilt et par Dr Martens, som var nedsat fra 2100 til 1600 kr og en pyjamas som havde kostet 800 kr, men var nedsat til 160 kr!! Luxury