#i just took a fuck ton of pain meds

[scrollonso]

my shoulder is so swolen i feel like im gonna die gn

[lazycats-stuff]

Ra's Al Ghul kidnapping reader, a son of Bruce, because he 'finds him interesting'. Obviously the reader is put off, but after some time and some really kind treatment from Ra's, reader kinda finds him sweet, at this point Bruce's comes to rescue reader and stomp on Ra's skul, but the reader convinces him to not kill Ra's, and Ra's and reader kinda develop a relationship, but the reader is still a bit 'you didn't have to kidnap me, but I guess you are just different but don't think I'll let this go, we'll do this how i want it to go'

Hell yeah. Oh Bruce is ready to kill someone. Hehe... I love it. Also, can't find and gifs of Ra's so a repeat of one of the former ones. Also, I'm done with school until my exams begin! A weekend off... Ah... Sounds like heaven.

Summary: (Y/N) gets kidnapped by Ra's. (Y/N) is confused and scared.

Warnings: kidnapping, Ra's tries to make (Y/N) like him, Ra's is sweet to (Y/N)...

(Y/N)'s eyes opened, head pounding like someone wacked him with a hammer. So he was either drugged or really got hit in the head with a hammer. Also, why does the bed feel far too comfortable for a... Why is the bed so damn soft comfortable?

(Y/N) sat up in bed, hissing from the headache as he looked around the room, nearly getting a stroke. The room was lavish. I mean, more than lavish. Whoever kidnapped him is rich, but not just rich, filthy rich.

The room was just marble and gold. This person had money to burn. Not to mention, everything is more spacious... This person was a shit ton of money to burn. (Y/N) closed his eyes as he tried to remember what has happed before this.

He was walking to his car from the college building... And then... A full on blackout. Well, that is not good... How much time has even passed? A day? A few hours?

More importantly, does Bruce know he's missing?! (Y/N) was never a vigilante. He knew self defense, but this is something... (Y/N) laid back down from the headache. He huffed as he laid back down on the bed, the bed warm and comforting. And soft... Is this silk?

Not even Bruce has that much money to burn.

(Y/N) sat up when he heard the door opening, eyes widening at the sight of Ra's Al Ghul entering a room, with... Water and some sort of rectangular box? What the hell?

" Ah, I see you are awake. Is your headache bad? " Ra's asked as he closed the door behind him.

" What in the actual fuck?! " (Y/N) yelled, wincing as he made his headache worse. " You old bastard. " (Y/N) added, making Ra's chuckle as he approached the bed, sitting on the edge of it, observing (Y/N).

" Nothing I didn't hear before. Now, do take these pain meds. " Ra's said as he presented a box. Now, (Y/N) was suspicious beyond belief.

" And how do I know they weren't tempered with? " (Y/N) asked as he took the box, checking it carefully.

" I give you my word that the pills weren't tempered with. Now, take two. They'll help you with the pain and you'll sleep it off. " Ra's said as he watched (Y/N), who was now hesitantly opening the box. Ra's watched in silence as (Y/N) took the pills, downing them with the water from the bottle.

" Now, just lie down and sleep it off. You'll feel better once you wake up in the morning. " Ra's said as he made (Y/N) lie down, making sure to tuck him in.

(Y/N) watched in silence and more so in shock. Why in God's name is Ra's so gentle? This has to be a manipulation. A tactic. Lower down your guard and then, when you least expect it, bam! You get hit where it hurts the most and then they catch you off guard and you are killed.

(Y/N) just needed to stay alive long enough for Bruce to find him. That's it. (Y/N) wanted nothing more then Bruce to find him. His room sounded nice. (Y/N) felt more and more drowsy as the seconds passed, under the eye of Ra's al Ghul.

" Just relax. Don't fight it. " Ra's whispered as he dimmed the lights to make it more bearable to sleep in. And the headache was slightly better. Then, Ra's came back and checked to see if (Y/N) is properly tucked into bed.

And (Y/N) couldn't fight the pills, no matter how hard he tried. His eyes closed, body finally happy to rest again, but this time with no pain. Ra's stayed for a couple of more minutes, watching (Y/N) as he slept, hand gently reaching to caress (Y/N)'s cheeks. So soft, Ra's thought as he enjoyed the fact that (Y/N) was finally here, with him.

Ra's couldn't wait any longer if he tried. Now there was a sense of contentment as (Y/N) was on his base, with him. Yes, he did follow (Y/N), but he wasn't a normal stalker. Well, he isn't a stalker. He simply found (Y/N) interesting.

And Ra's has every right to explore that curiosity. And Bruce and his wrath? Well, he can and will deal with that later. Ra's stood up silently going to the door, giving one last glance at (Y/N)'s sleeping form, before leaving, closing the door behind him, locking it too, just in case that (Y/N) decides to leave the room.

Sure, his assassins will stop him, but still, never enough caution. And the base is in the middle of an ocean so escaping... Well, Ra's was confident that (Y/N) wouldn't escape. No way he could anyway. Ra's smiled to himself as he walked to his office, knowing that (Y/N) will be out for a while, which in turn meant that he could get back to his work.

(Y/N) woke up the next day, in no pain and actually more rested then before. (Y/N) took a deep breath as he explored the room. He needed to find a way out of here. Like, now. He started with the doors that looked like balcony doors. He saw water and nothing but the blue water and sky.

That bastard.

(Y/N) decided to abandon that route and just went to the other doors in the room. He opened the door and entered the biggest bathroom he has ever seen. A bath, a shower... Marble and gold yet again. (Y/N) looked around, curiosity taking over. And sure, he can try to be more careful, but if Ra's was to torture him...

He wouldn't do it in this lavish room. He wouldn't get blood on the marble... Maybe he would and he would just replace it, considering the amount of money he has to burn. (Y/N) sighed as he looked himself in the mirror. He didn't look like pure shit. He looked somewhat normal, as if he wasn't kidnapped.

(Y/N) closed the door behind himself and then doing the normal morning business in the bathroom. He quickly pissed and flushed the water behind him. He washed his hands and then he washed his face with water, just to wake himself up a little bit more.

He sighed as he went back into the room, however, he nearly jumped out of his skin when Ra's was just sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed elegantly. His eyes seemed to soften when he saw (Y/N).

" I see that you are awake. How is your head? " Ra's asked softly and (Y/N) was now caught off guard. Completely.

" It's great. No pain. " (Y/N) said hesitantly, eyes narrowing in suspicion. Now, something is way fucking off. Ra's al Ghul, this soft with the son of his enemy?

He is going to get tortured soon. Just thrown into a dungeon and broken...

" Why in God's name are you so... So... I can't even say soft because you and soft don't go together. " (Y/N) said, making sure to not move an inch. He needs as much space as possible.

Ra's chuckled at the statement. Soft and Ra's al Ghul don't go together, that much was right.

" I'm soft because of you. I kidnapped you here because I thought you were interesting. And maybe there are some feelings involved too. " Ra's admitted, watching as (Y/N) became speechless. (Y/N) was trying to respond, but couldn't say anything. His mouth was opening and closing.

No sound came out.

" What? Ra's al Ghul and feelings? Damian was wrong. You are capable of feeling something. But I'm pretty damn sure that all of this is just a ploy to get me to lower my guard down and then bam! I'm in a dingy cell. And tortured. " (Y/N) said crossing his arms as he leaned on the wall.

Ra's laughed. (Y/N)'s eyes widened both at the sound and the scene.

Ra's al Ghul laughing? Pigs must be flying outside.

" What's so funny? You are a ruthless man. I've heard things you've done. "

Ra's stopped, eyes still soft. " I have a soft spot for you. I won't torture you. You have my word that nothing bad will happen to you for as long as you behave. " Ra's explained as he stood up, eyes still soft and still trained on (Y/N).

" If I didn't know you and your honesty, I would've called bullshit. " (Y/N) muttered and Ra's chuckled.

" I do speak the truth and more so, I would never lie to you. Are you hungry? It's been a while since you ate. " Ra's asked, watching as (Y/N) tilted his head, clearly still suspicious about Ra's and his treatment.

" I could eat something... As long as you don't lace it with something." (Y/N) mumbled and Ra's chuckled.

" I won't lace your food with anything. You have my word. " Ra's promised softly, offering (Y/N) a smile in return. " What would you like? " Ra's asked and (Y/N) shrugged his shoulders.

" What is it that Americans like to eat? Pancakes? Bacon? Anything heavy? " Ra's teased and (Y/N) was shocked yet again. Ra's al Ghul teasing?

" I like something light. Some granola, yogurt and fruit is my go to. " (Y/N) explained and Ra's nodded, pretending he didn't know that already.

" Come with me. I would like to share breakfast with you. " Ra's said as he opened the door for (Y/N), stepping outside to allow (Y/N) to get out first.

(Y/N) huffed at the fact, but stepped out anyway. Ra's smirked from behind him, gently leading (Y/N) to Ra's room and then through the said room to get to a beautiful terrace with a beautiful view of of the ocean and the sky...

" Please, do sit. " Ra's said, pointing at a chair to his right, before sitting down on the chair to the left. (Y/N) sat down, getting comfortable as he took in the fresh air, a salty smell in the air.

" No fresh air in Gotham I see? " Ra's said, turning to one of his guards, giving him an order in Arabic. The guard left and (Y/N) closed his eyes for a moment.

" Not really. " (Y/N) said. Even though he lived far enough to not be affected by the polluted air, he still couldn't get fresh air. But this? This is amazing.

" Glad to see you relaxed. " Ra's said and (Y/N) snorted.

" I'm not relaxed. I'm not trusting you as far as I can throw you. " (Y/N) said as he opened his eyes again, glancing at Ra's, who had an amused smirk on his face.

" I gave you my word that I won't do anything to you. As long as you behave of course. "

(Y/N) scoffed, but stopping when he heard the guard come back with food. He put the tray on the table between them. (Y/N) took a look into the bowl that was facing him. Granola, yogurt and some fruit...

" Your go to breakfast. I listened, you see. " Ra's said as he started eating his breakfast.

(Y/N) eyed the food suspiciously, but still ate it none the less. He was hungry and food sounded great at the moment.

" Later, I want to show you around the premises. I have a library in my office, filled with some literature classics that I'm sure you will like. " Ra's said and (Y/N) raised his brow.

How did he knew that? He does like classics the most, but he likes all genres.

" I won't question how you know that. I don't think I'll like that answer. " (Y/N) said and Ra's smirked.

" It's better that way. "

It's been a few weeks and (Y/N) has never been so confused in his entire life. Ra's was nice and gentle to him. (Y/N) was loosing his mind slowly. But in the entire process, (Y/N) was developing feelings for him too.

If it weren't for the assassin part, Ra's would be a man of his dreams. Gentle, attentive, handsome... (Y/N) thought about Stockholm syndrome. Immediately. But for a few weeks... They can't develop that fast can they?

(Y/N) was sleeping in his room, tired from the heat of the day. He was sleeping peacefully, but woke up when he heard a crash. His heart was beating fast as he sat up, throwing the blanket off of him. What the hell was going on?

He stepped out of the room, looking for Ra's. He may know self defense, but he doesn't have experience in this thing.

" RA'S! " He heard a deep yell and he recognized it immediately. It was Bruce's... Oh God, Bruce will break the code. (Y/N) ran to the office, stopping at the doorway.

" Dad! " (Y/N) yelled and both stopped fighting. Bruce turned his head, eyes widening at the sight of his son. Not hurt... Nothing...

" (Y/N)? " Bruce said quietly, clearly not believing his eyes. He quickly walked over, checking over his son, then hugging him tightly. " My son... " Bruce breathed out, happy to see his sons alive.

" (Y/N), go to the roof to the Batplane, I have some unfinished business with Ra's. " Bruce said, turning to Ra's and (Y/N) knew that look.

Bruce was pushed over the edge. And he is ready to kill.

" No! Don't kill him! " (Y/N) said as he grabbed Bruce's arm, trying to stop him.

" He hurt you! More so, he kidnapped my only son who isn't a vigilante! That won't go unpunished! " Bruce said, ready to lunge at Ra's.

" He didn't hurt me! Please dad! " (Y/N) begged, clinging onto Bruce, stopping him with his weight.

" He didn't? "

" He treated me gently! I wasn't hurt! " (Y/N) said and Bruce's head whipped to look at him in shock. " Don't kill him dad. Please. " (Y/N) pleaded again and Bruce relaxed a little bit.

" Are you being honest with me? " Bruce asked and (Y/N) nodded.

Bruce sighed quietly as he held his son tightly to him. (Y/N) turned his head to look at Ra's. " As for you Ra's... " (Y/N) started, not sure how to proceed.

Ra's waited patiently for (Y/N) to finish what he was going to say.

" You didn't really have to kidnap me, but since we have developed something, I want to see where this goes. Sure, you may be different, but don't think I'll forget this. This relationship will go on as I please. " (Y/N) declared and Bruce felt nothing but pride for his boy.

" As you wish beloved. We will do it at your pace. " Ra's said and Bruce glared at him.

" Damian won't be happy. " Bruce noted.

" Damian will be happy to finally have some sort of payback. " (Y/N) retorted and Bruce chuckled.

" Well, either way, it's time to go home. Your brothers are worried. " Bruce said, leading (Y/N) out.

" Bye Ra's. " (Y/N) said as he was led out of the room and Ra's smirked.

" Bye (Y/N). See you soon. " Ra's said and Bruce nearly decked Ra's for even saying that. But he had more important matter right now.

And that's getting his son home.

[brotherwtf]

i have never seen an american football game in my life, but i watched a compilation of dudes getting absolutely pummeled into the floor and i couldn’t stop thinking about a clegan!football au where one gets a minor/major injury and the other is fretting tearing his hair out and trying to comfort

bro I honestly love football and I have seen plenty a game where those dudes are straight knocked to the ground, it's honestly kinda wild lmao

imagining John as a pro football player, maybe he's a linebacker or a tight end bcs he's large and stocky, and Gale is maybe a manager of the team he's on, so they spend a shit ton of time together

basically Gale has to cross his legs every practice when he's talking to Coach Harding bcs John took his helmet off and has a beautiful sheen of sweat on his forehead and the heat of the helmet has made his hair curl beautifully and Gale can't keep his eyes off of him

sometimes Gale has to talk to individual team members in the locker room about practice schedules or specific plays, which sometimes means Gale has to corner John in the locker room after practice to talk logistics and fuck, John has just come out of the shower and his hair is curly and he looks so fucking big and maybe Gale can't even talk without stuttering bcs John's thighs look so huge

and of course John knows he has an effect on Gale, so maybe he crowds into Gale's space, standing over him and looking down at him (their height difference isn't even that big, but like this Gale still has to look up to meet John's gaze), and Gale is hot under the collar

anyway basically they have some lovely locker room sex and start fucking around after practices together

this of course leads to more than sex when John starts to call Gale pet names, walks Gale to his car and wishes him a good night, Gale worrying too much about John getting hurt while playing, and maybe the sex is starting to become tender and the kisses linger a little too much for people who are just friends with benefits

everything comes to a head when they're in a championship game, everything's riding on this, and Gale is sitting on the sidelines trying to ignore the way his heart races when John gets tackled a little too hard

one of the other guys, a huge guy that towers over everyone else, tackles John hard, and he doesn't get up right away

Gale immediately jumps from his seat and runs out to the field after the medics, heart stopping when he sees John on the field with a bruise on his face. The medics are trying to get John awake after he's been knocked unconscious, and Gale is trying not to urge them to go faster

at one point the medics urge Gale to hold his head up once his eyes have flickered open, and Gale can't help but gently caress Johns face and push the curls from his forehead

John of course will say some stupid shit when he's loopy and knocked out, grabbing at Gale's arm and trying to kiss him, but Gale is so worried about John being seriously hurt that he pushes away the advances, maybe starts yelling at the medics to work faster, he's been knocked out for fucks sake

maybe John passes out again, the light is a little too much, and Gale freaks out, starts yelling at people bcs his brain is convincing him that John is going to die, and it gets to the point where Coach Harding has to physically wrench Gale from the field and get him away

eventually, after lots of arguing and fighting, Gale is able to see John when he's in the hospital. The nurse says he has a concussion and some bruised ribs, and Gale tries not to scream bcs that sounds bad.

John's a little hopped up on pain meds when he sees Gale, keeps trying to kiss him and calls him pretty, and accidentally says he loves him which doesn't help with Gale's inner turmoil bcs maybe HE also loves John, it just took this to realize it

anyway John gets out of the hospital and it's classic romcom shit bcs Gale is waiting for him in the parking lot and he runs up to John, jumping into his arms and kissing him silly, whispering how much he loves him and how worried he was. John of course says it back to Gale, kisses him and holds him in his arms and says how much he loves him

[willowsnook]

Hiiii Sweetheart! 😍 I'm really really craving some Bucky at the moment, soooo I was wondering if I could send in an idea. Remember the party at the tower at the beginning of Age of Ultron? Maybe we could pretend buck is also there and never taking his eyes off you as you both have a huge crush on each other, but never talk about it. So as Ultron breaks in and attacks, he has to watch you being thrown through several glasses and pass out and he immediately is by your side protecting your body. As it's over he is with you as your medically being treated and he finally admits his feelings and you kiss and it's all fluffy ? 🥺 I hope it's not too weird ❤️

One of the best perks of being an Avenger was getting to go to the infamous Stark parties he held in his penthouse. This one was no less lavish than all the rest. You could hear the party before you stepped out of the elevator. You smoothed your black sparkling cocktail dress down and ran a hand through your curled hair before joining the party. You grabbed a champagne flute from a waiter's tray before heading toward your best friend Steve.

As you were walking you could feel someone staring at you. You turned to look by the bar and caught Bucky Barnes eyes watching you. You and Bucky had a complicated relationship. You loved Steve and he loved Steve so sometimes it felt like you were both fighting for his attention. It didn't help that a couple of months ago after a few two many drinks you found yourself in the winter soldier's bed. Neither of you had spoken a word about that.

"Y/n, you look amazing," Steve said taking your hand and twirling you around.

"You don't look so bad yourself captain," you teased causing him to blush. The two of you surveyed the room before deciding to go mingle. You talked to countless amounts of people but you found yourself always searching for him when your eyes wandered from conversation. You knew he was doing the same because every time you found him, he was ignoring his own conversation and staring back at you.

As the night came to a close everyone started to leave besides the usual crew. They all took spots around the couch while Natasha and I grabbed another drink. Even though there wasn't a ton of room, I gave Bucky a look and he scooted over leaving a very small amount of space. I sunk down, half on his right thigh causing him to stiffen. As the conversation went on I felt him relax and eventually move his right arm to the back of the couch, dangerously close to my head. I could feel his fingers playing with my hair and I blushed.

All of sudden you heard a loud ringing noise and Bucky's hands flew to cover your ears. You looked up to Tony who looked just as confused as you were. Suddenly you all noticed this robot-type thing that had walked into the room. You soon discovered it was Ultron and it was on a mission.

"What mission," you asked.

"Peace in our time," he said and suddenly three more robots flew through the walls. One of them is headed right towards you and you don't have time to move. The impact is strong and suddenly you find yourself crashing through the glass windows to the second level of the house. Then things go black for a couple of minutes.

As you're coming to, you can make out Bucky's figure protectively shielding you yelling something at someone. What is he saying? You took a breath and came back to reality, the pain hitting you all at once.

"I need a fucking medical team over here," he yelled out and you whimpered. His head snapped towards yours, concern in his eyes.

"You're okay doll, just a little banged up okay," he assured you. "Try not to move."

"It hurts," you croaked out and he pushed back some of your hair that was sticking to the blood on your face. Soon you saw a familiar face from the SHIELD medical team coming towards you.

"Alright, let us take a look at her," he said. "Can you step away?"

"I am not moving a fucking inch from her," Bucky snarled and the med flinched. You saw Steve come up and put a hand on his shoulder to coax him to give you some space.

"It's fine, Buck," you told him and his eyes softened before moving back with Steve. The team checked you out and determined nothing was majorly broken but still wanted to take you back to the med center with them. They started to pull a stretcher out but Bucky stopped them.

"I've got her," he said and he scooped you up in his arms. He carried you into the back of an SUV waiting to head to the med center. He made sure you were situated in his lap, holding your head against his chest. "I'm fine Buck I promise," you tried but he cut you off.

"I was so scared when I watched you disappear on the edge, I should have jumped in front of you to protect you," he whispered. You looked up at him staring back at you.

"I can take care of myself," you argued and he gave you a pointed look. "I don't even know why you care so much, if I'm gone then you can have Steve all to yourself." Anger flashed in his eyes.

"I would choose my death over yours a million out of a million times in order to make sure you were okay," he said and your eyes widened. "It's not Steve whose attention I want, it's yours."

"Well, you've got it now."

[heyidkyay]

I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name |

Part Twenty-Three

A/n: 😅 Been a while, but I have reasons! I am sorry for the long wait though on this next chapter, especially with that last cliffhanger... Still, this is just a cute little pause before we get into the heavy shit so I hope you like it, and hope it's up to standard too, feels weird to be writing again tbh. Let me know what you think though!:) X

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Warnings: Mentions of sickness/vomiting.. but nothing too extreme, just be wary:)

Masterlist

--

I’d woken up with the most violent headache- the kind that made brain-freeze feel like a trip around the fairground- and the second I opened my eyes I knew that this one was a lot different compared to the ones I’d had previously. This headache made me want to curl up and die, just shrivel up into a ball then and there. But I couldn’t, because before I could even think to act on the action I was up and tumbling out of bed, headed straight for the bathroom and chucking up what ever strange concoction remained in my stomach.

I don’t know how long I’d been there, gagging into the dirtied bowl of the toilet, before I felt the door to the bathroom open ajar. The creak of its hinges had me wincing, as did the faint trail of light that followed.

I couldn’t bring myself to look up from where I’d since sprawled myself out on the floor, the tiles cold against my sweaty skin- the only thing giving me an ounce of reprieve- but did squint my eyes open a smidge to find a pair of socked feet planted before me. 

I groaned just as someone squatted down to check on me, a hand pressed to my cheek then to my forehead.

“What’s up, muggins?”

Ross. That was Ross’s voice. Which made sense seeing as the bathroom was sat opposite both our rooms. I must’ve woken him.

He carded a gentle hand through my hair and spoke again, “Figured it should be me here instead of you, what with the amount I put away last night.”

I cracked the tiniest of smiles for him, but my throat hurt and my mouth was so dry. I couldn’t offer him a proper reply and he frowned in turn.

“Fucking hell, Y/n.” Ross mumbled, having just caught sight of the makeover I’d given our shared toilet. He took a deep breath and I focused on what he was saying next when my head begun to pound again. “Let’s get you back to bed, hey?”

It was with a careful grip that Ross manoeuvred me about with, swiping my tired body up off the floor with a practiced ease. I attempted to refuse his manhandling, claiming I could walk, but he only shushed me with a roll of his eyes and trudged his way back into my room. I didn’t fight him much more than that, having just gone more than three rounds with the toilet and lost, I was too drained to even bother.

Ross laid me back on my bed, tossing the duvet back over me, and I listened faintly to him walk about my room. He opened the dresser drawer that was nearby first and then something else I couldn’t quite make out, he was quiet when he approached again.

“Here, try and change out of those before I get back.” He told me and I opened my bleary eyes again to see that he’d tossed me a pair of linen shorts and a large t-shirt to replace the ones I'd ruined. “Gonna grab your medicine, alright? It still downstairs on the counter?”

I hummed non-committedly, too focused now on the thought of having to move again. He left and pulled the door behind him.

I changed, albeit slowly and not without wincing at every strain, but I did eventually do it. And soon enough, just as promised, Ross reentered, carrying with him a large bowl, a glass of water, my meds, as well as a small fan. He dropped the bowl beside me and stationed the fan on the bedside-table before he handed me the water and my tablets. I heard him head back out again, though he returned only a minute later with a cold, wet flannel in hand. I smiled sincerely at his kindness.

“Thank you.” I rasped out as he placed the damp cloth on my forehead, soothing the heat that drenched the entirety of my body.

Ross merely waved me off and took a seat beside me on the mattress. “If that don’t work, I’ll grab you some ice. Numb the pain a bit.”

My forehead wrinkled beneath the flannel. 

“How’d you know?” I couldn’t help but ask him, wondering how he’d already known that my head was the thing causing me the most pain.

He chuckled softly, mouth quirked to one side. “Well, besides from the way you were trying to dig your nails into your forehead when I found you, I also read up on that thing the doctor fella said you had a bit ago.”

I pinched my brow at him and he seemed to take it for the silent question it was.

“Yes really, twatface.” Ross drew out exaggeratedly, then scratched at his cheek as he glanced me over. I must've looked pretty fucking pitiful for what he had to say next, “That car really fucked you up, didn’t it?”

I glared back at him in retaliation, but he simply laughed.

“What? It did! Doesn’t mean you didn’t win though.” He retorted in good jest, grinning down at me with that sly smile of his. The kind I couldn't hate. “You, you fucking walked away from that car like it was nothing. Most don’t get the chance to get back up afterwards, you know? Like they break both their legs, or just… I don’t know, die I ‘spose.” He shrugged after saying that last bit and I couldn’t help the amused snort I gave at his nonchalance.

I immediately regretted it though, grimacing at the harsh pain and sharp nausea that rolled its way through me all at once.

Ross smiled sympathetically down at me and squeezed my ankle, “Get some rest, yeah? I’ll tell the lads to keep it down once they all wake up- the lazy cunts.” He muttered the latter under his breath as he rolled his eyes and I had to fight not to laugh again. 

I moved my hand out from beneath the covers, my eyes falling shut now as I did, and squeezed his hand in return. My way of telling him thank you, once again, for everything he’d done for me. Because he hadn’t had to, he just did. Without anyone even needing to ask. 

It was a very Ross thing to do.

He got up from the bed after and promptly pressed a chaste kiss to my temple before he quietly padded his way out of the room, leaving me to burrow myself further under the covers, praying that the medication would soon give me some relief. Because honestly? Fuck my life.

…

I must have fallen asleep at some point because I wrinkled my nose as I woke once more, grimacing at the light pulsing I still felt in my head. I groaned groggily and rolled over in attempt to bury all the pain inside my pillow. 

But obviously that didn’t work and so I huffed and flipped myself back over, which had ultimately been the wrong move to make because my stomach rolled without warning and I was yucking up into a bowl I hadn’t even reached for. 

Although the sudden appearance of it confused me, I was too busy throwing up what little my stomach had to give to care.

It was only as the sickness ebbed that I could finally breathe a little better and I felt my head start to hang in exhaustion.

“Hey, hey.” I heard someone say faintly from above me, but my bad ear was ringing again. Both of them now actually. And so I couldn’t pay much attention to the tissue that was being cautiously wiped across my mouth and chin, nor the kind hand that had taken to holding my hair up out of my face.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed before I finally managed to pull myself back together. Broken piece by broken piece. But the ringing had dulled and the throbbing I felt grew less and less prominent. I breathed slowly. In and out. Out then in. 

“Hell of a holiday.” I croaked defeatedly to myself, but was surprised by the soft titter that followed, it pierced the air. 

I lifted my chin and was a little startled to find George perched on the edge of the bed, he was staring down at me, the smallest of smiles on his face and trying to hide the worry that was etched into his eyes.

“When’dyouget’ere?” I slurred, squinting up at him, hating that he, of all the people cooped up in this stupid villa, had to see me like this. I didn’t want to think too much about it. 

George shrugged a single shoulder at me, looking a tad abashed. “Came to check in on you when I woke up a couple hours ago, didn't I? Ross let me know you were feeling shit when I headed down and found him.”

I nodded slowly. A couple hours…

George seemed to sense my sudden odd shift in mood then because he hurried to continue on, “Matty came in a bit ago, he’d just woken up though. Gave me a weird look and said to come get him if anything happened. Reckon he went back to bed though to be honest. Hann had Ross bring you up some more water too- it’s up there on the side- they went to grab some food not long ago. Matt’s hanging, as is Hann, so they all wanted a proper fry up.”

“And you?”

His brow furrowed at my question, not quite getting it. “And me, what?”

I grimaced at the intense throb my head made then and took it as a sign to never think again. But that wouldn’t be happening anytime soon, so I proceeded to solider on. 

“And you stayed here.” I stated, it wasn’t a question of why. 

“Um, yeah. That alright?” George asked me, looking a little uncomfortable, like he’d overstepped without meaning to. “Figured it’d be best, someone keeping an eye on you.”

He didn’t have to explain himself, but I sort of liked having the upper hand here. I smiled at him as I relaxed further into my mountain of pillows. It was nice of him to have stayed. 

“It’s fine. And thanks.” I replied hoarsely, he just shook his head.

“None of that. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t choke on your own sick or summat.”

“Oh, cheers.” I rolled my eyes, a sudden fondness creeping into my words.

“You know what I mean.” George huffed with a chuckle, though a silence settled shortly after and, even now that I had my eyes closed, I could tell that he was watching me. “Do you, uh, do you need anything else? Or, I can leave if you want.”

Behind my fluttering lids, I rolled my eyes again whilst biting back a smirk, then shuffled over slightly to make room on the mattress. I patted the sheet next to me twice.

A full minute must’ve passed before George finally moved to follow my invitation but I didn’t comment on it, not sure if I’d regret this later on when I felt a little more like myself. His weight caused the bed frame creak beneath us and I felt my shoulders loosen somewhat when he settled in beside me, barely five inches away.

“You okay?” I questioned quietly when he said nothing after a while, a tad bit anxious when I couldn’t even hear him breathing.

He exhaled heavily then though, like he'd been holding his breath- the drama queen. 

“Yes, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.” He attempted to rush out, but I could feel how rigid he was beside me. Like he was too fearful to even move a muscle, to push his luck.

“Good.” I replied, not thinking about the line we were crossing.

The nausea had subdued somewhat now and I was simply left with a dull throb on the left side of my head. I kept on taking deep measured breaths though, not wanting to strain myself like I had before and chance the fate of me spewing again.

I still felt tired, which was funny seeing as though I’d just woken up, just so drained of all my usual energy. Even the thought had me yawning and I lifted an arm up to cover my mouth as I did so but, by complete accident (I swear!), I ended up wacking George in the face with my elbow. He hissed loudly and instantly I turned to see him, having felt the connection even through my cast. 

“I’m so sorry!” I blurted out, now using my hand to cover up my blatant shock as I stared down at him with wide apologetic eyes.

George rubbed at his wounded eye, wincing at the unexpected blow. “No, you’re fine, you’re alright. Just the shock that got me is all.”

“I’m so sorry.” I repeated again, unable to say much else really, watching as George shifted on the bed to squint up at me, he gave a crooked smile. It was one that made me huff a small chuckle.

“Don’t fuckin’ laugh!” George retorted, but his words didn’t hold much worth when he’d begun giggling away too. “I mean it! You’re proper nasty, you know. Tryna knock me out, or what? Like being hit by a club with that arm of yours.”

“I didn’t mean to!” I laughed in reply, glad that he was up for making jokes, showing me he wasn't too hurt, and shuffled closer to him to get a better look at the side of his face. I reached out towards him, “Here, lemme look at it.”

“Sod off!” He responded with a chuckle of his own as he swiped my approaching hand away, “You might assault me again.”

“I won’t! I promise!” I grinned at him, hair falling out from behind my ears and brushing against the collar of his t-shirt. “Just let me check that I ain't given you a matching concussion, will you?”

George relented with a tiny lopsided smile, removing his hands from his face to nod at me. I breathed out a sweet chuckle and moved closer to examine the eye I’d hit, careful as I prodded the now reddened skin. He winced and I breathed out a faint sorry once more, before tilting his head up towards me. His gaze found mine in that next moment but I tried hard to concentrate on the task at hand.

“Did I catch you right there- on the corner?” I asked him quietly and he hummed in reply. It looked okay from what I could see, just a little red and the skin a tad bit raised from where I'd caught him with my cast. “Might puff up in a bit or bruise a little later, but you should survive.”

I glanced down at him, realising then just how close we were, and my brain immediately started calculating every part of us that touched. My knees were pulled up by his side, practically tucked under his waist. His arm was laid out to the side after having made room for my intrusion, I felt his light hairs tickle the smooth skin of my calf. My eyes zeroed in on the way my dept fingers danced across the bone of his freckled cheek, brushing by his temple in an attempt to soothe the injury I'd given him.

My lips parted when his brown eyes met mine though, they were warm, fond, familiar. But sad too almost.

I went to speak, to say something which would break the tense silence we were swimming in. But he beat me to it.

“I’ve missed this.” He told me, but I didn’t offer him a reply. I think George already knew that I wouldn’t because he just ventured on, not missing a beat as his soft voice filled the quiet space of my room. “Missed you, really.” He admitted, and his arm grazed my lower leg just as he reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair back behind my ear. I tried not to shiver at the all too intimate motion.

His gaze jumped up to my own as he did so, skirting back and forth between my eyes. I struggled to breathe. Air trapped in the very back of my throat.

“Spending time with you. Just having you there.” He murmured, almost whispering now as he admitted these simple things to me. “There’s pieces of me only you know. Parts of me that only you will ever see.” He added next on an exhale and then he swallowed, I watched the lump in throat bob up then down before my eyes darted back up to meet his. “I really messed up, but I’m gonna fix it. Yeah?”

Those brown irises of his were drowning beneath a shallow pool now and he wet his bottom lip just as he dropped his hand from my hair, thumb gently skimming the side of my jaw before it trailed up my arm to where my touch still cradled his own face. His palm stretched out over the back of my hand, my fingers tucked safely under his. The gesture was so familiar it hurt.

“That promise I made you, last night? I thought about it a lot, hardly slept just thinking about it. But in truth, I always knew my answer, Birdie.”

My heart was racing now, its pounding had replaced the painful rhythm which had earlier burdened my head, muffling any kind of logical thought I could’ve had. 

I couldn’t look away from him. I didn't want to.

“I want to tell you. I want to explain.” George told me, his thumb stroking the back of mine, “If you’ll still give me that chance. I want to fix things between us. ‘Cause I don’t think I can go much longer with you keeping me at arms length, Birdie. I can’t just pretend like you’re not everything I think about. Everything that makes me feel whole. Like you’re not meant to be mine. And me yours. Like we weren’t ever supposed to meet.”

My eyes were stinging, and I was barely even breathing as I stared back at him. Too afraid that if I did, or if I even blinked, that he’d be gone and this would all be some sort of feverish dream.

“I love you, and that ain’t going nowhere, B.” 

He tightened his hold on my hand.

His words played on a loop in my head.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Everything I’d longed to hear for over a year now. I love you.

But did he? Did he really?

My mouth moved to ask, but the words wouldn’t escape. They wouldn’t just get up and jump out at him.

Instead, I was stuck looking into his eyes. At his face. Analysing every detail that had changed. Everything that hadn’t.

I love you.

“I fucked up. So bad I don’t even know if I can fix it, but I-“ He inhaled sharply, “I’d really like to try. If you’ll let me.”

And then it was up to me again. It was my time to decide.

Only I'd never felt so far from myself.

Part Twenty-four>

[existsdeath]

Things nobody will tell you about ocd + a mini guide for those who recently got a diagnosis

-𝓢incerly , someone who is disabled due to it .

1. It's gonna be really fucking hard,and that's okay. it's okay to cry after your diagnosis. I'd be more worried if you didn't cry than if you did. Unfortunately for me,I didn't get the opportunity to fully process the depth of my diagnosis at 12,and I personally believe I deserved significantly more than what I got.

2. ocd has NOTHING to do with being clean,organized,or hygienic. ocd is based off of an obsession and then a compulsion,hense the name obsessive compulsive disorder. The reason this stereotype is so often enforced is because contamination ocd is one of the most common forms of ocd,which can come across as just "being clean" rather than a symptom of a deeply complex disorder

3. What are obsessions and compulsions? what's the difference between a neurotypical obsession and a disordered one?

obsessions in ocd are a type of intrusive thought that makes you feel the need to engage in a compulsion in order to relieve this feeling. Neurotypical peoples obsessions do not require compulsions to be done,and are usually not intrusive.

4. ocd is not just obsessions and compulsions, here are some symptoms directly linked to ocd that I personally struggle with :

intrusive thoughts unrelated to compulsions

delusions

panic attacks

paranoia

fatigue

hyperfixations

emotional contamination

hoarding

5. if you're not ready to take medication,DO NOT. My doctor didn't explain the side effects of the meds I would be taking, so I took them without even thinking. This ended in severe fatigue,depression,and an entire year of school missed, which I'm still trying to catch up with. If your psychiatrist encourages you to take medication,ask about the side effects,and make sure they know what they're doing.

6. Adding on to the last point, please get a psychiatrist if you can,and only accept medication from your doctor if it's your only choice. Don't go based off what people say about medication online too much,since it's vastly different for everyone. For me,sertraline was horrible,and for others,it saved their life.

7. ocd is a neurodivergence. it will deeply affect your life in the beginning,and that's okay,you'll get through it. I know it's hard,but I promise it'll get better.

8. ocd does NOT go away. ocd changes the way your brain thinks,you physically cannot recover from it in the same way you can't "recover" from things like autism or adhd. This doesn't mean you'll suffer forever,it just means you'll always have symptoms. Some of these symptoms aren't bad either,maybe by the time your 30 the only evidence of your ocd is mild hoarding & hyperfixations.

9. people without ocd do not understand ocd,especially if they're neurotypical.this goes for most people, excluding psychiatrists & and doctors, to some extent. Yes they will understand it,but they won't ever feel the pain you feel. I guess this goes with most disorders,but I always expected someone to understand my disorder,and they never did,so I think it's good you get that warning.

10. There is so much stigma,stereotypes,and lack of research on ocd. This adds to the last part about how people without ocd truly will not feel the pain you feel, and some will not even understand it.

coping !

so,you just heard all this yapping about ocd,you're probably wondering how to cope,other than getting professional help,these are some things that really helped me.

1. Getting the right therapist , doctor & psychiatrist. Pretty self-explanatory,get someone who truly takes you seriously;someone you have faith in.

2. Medication. Medication is such a huge part of coping,at least for me. I know I'd be dead without it,it truly is an amazing thing.

3. Find support groups. Find other people with ocd,usually through support groups! If you're nervous about talking irl there's tons of online ocd communities you can join on Twitter,discord,reddit,and I'm sure more.

4. Go out of your way to find representation of your disorder. This can mean finding artists with the disorder,or really just anyone you look up to. I find it very inspiring to see how much someone with the same disorder as me accomplished,while also being able to relate to their media. Some of my favorite artists who discuss ocd are Alec Benjamin and NF. You can even find certain games that talk about ocd,personally I find milk inside a bag of milk is perfect. it's difficult to explain the plot since it's very much up to interpretation,but it's the only thing that's made me feel so represented.

there's also a sequel , milk outside a bag of milk which is really beautiful , although deals with some pretty heavy topics. ( can you tell I'm hyperfixated on this game ? / s )

5. Deal with your compulsions constantly. I know it's hard,I know you're tired,but something my therapist told me that always stuck with me is that "whether or not you do your compulsions,you're going to be stressed ,so why not fight back against them so in the future you'll be at peace?"

6. do NOT give into your compulsions. ( easier said than done, I know ) you'll feel relief temporarily,and then you'll need to do it again,again,and again,and again...again...again...again... and again.

7. lean on people ( family & friends ),and take time for your mental health. Your mental health is so important,especially with disorders like these. If you think you need a break to focus on recovery,do that. Don't keep pushing yourself until you break,give yourself support first. For me,I haven't been in school since the beginning of the year ( not by choice ) and I actually don't know what I'd do if I had to go to school,I really don't know.

8. get accommodations when possible. This is a disorder,so as long as you have proof of your diagnosis you should be able to get accommodations. I know for me,I'm allowed to do school completely online,but obviously it'll depend on the severity of your ocd aswell as what your psychiatrist & therapist think.

9. I highly recommend involving your therapist & psychiatrist in school,it has helped me so much. Give them your principles contact info if possible,and let them discuss how they can help you together.

And as always,if you're feeling suicidal please call 988. It gets better and you're stronger than you think. I'm proud of you for going this long.

feel free to ask questions if you're curious!

[thelilreddragon]

Wanda Maximoff Headcanons

Please note that there are references to self-harm and suicidal desires in this work.

Wanda hates thunderstorms. The sounds set her off, and send her into a panic state. Pietro found her huddled up, more often than not, underneath a pile of blankets.

She loves books. Pride and Prejudice, Anne of Green Gables, that sort of thing. She thought Vision was her Mr. Darcy or her Gilbert Blythe, but she discovered that she was just Anne, an orphan who thought she was unwanted when she first got to Green Gables/Compound

She loves dogs. She’s always wanted one. When she watched Full House as a kid, she was jealous of Stephanie. When she saw the episodes of Modern Family, she envied Jay.

She used fiction to cover up her hatred of the real world. From sitcoms to books, Wanda avoided facing her wartorn reality.

She still has nightmares of White Vision coming to end her. She used to cry when she woke up, not out of fear, but despair for it not being reality.

She was incredibly good at hiding her self harm, after her parents died. Pietro died not knowing how much she did it.

She regrets all of her actions towards America Chavez, and wishes she could undo it. (She asked Stephen to let her go back in time, but he told her that you need to live with some mistakes.)

When Agatha came for her, after she set out, she cried. They sat on the ground, as Wanda sobbed, and begged for Agatha to put her out of her misery, because “that damn building didn’t do a fucking thing”.

Agatha was the one who took her to therapy initially. She would walk her into her sessions and sit by the window. Scratchy guarded the door. They didn’t trust her not to run.

After a few months, and some anxiety meds, Wanda became a functioning member of society again. She learned how to control her magic, meditate her way through the turmoil, and eventually met the reincarnations of Billy and Tommy.

America Chavez was the one who sought her out. She appeared one day, at the front door of Wanda’s cabin, and thanked her for being the reason she found training. She told her that she saw how much she loved Billy and Tommy, and was sorry that she went through that much pain.

Wanda sobbed, and apologized profusely, while America kept repeating “I forgave you, Wanda! I’m not mad! It’s okay!”

When she stopped crying, America asked her a favour instead. “Can I come here for holidays n stuff? Billy and Tommy talk tons about your cooking, and how amazing you are. I love Wong and Strange, but I wish I had someone to have real food with.”

That’s how holidays became herself, Agatha, America, Billy, Tommy, Wong, Strange, and all the Young Avengers.

Agatha never stopped mentoring her, and Wanda never stopped learning.

[slasherbish]

Wrong House chapter 3

Satisfied that her temporary housemate wouldn’t try to escape, the woman finished cleaning and re-wrapping Billy’s wound. She then left the room only to return a few minutes later with a glass of cold water and a plate with over easy eggs on it. The man eyed what she held carefully as she set them down on the nightstand.

“It’s not poisoned. Why would I save your ass and spend all that time cleaning and bandaging your wounds just to kill you with eggs?” She said noticing his suspicion filled look. The (h/c) haired woman helped him to sit up so as to not pop any stitches. (Y/n) sat back in the chair taking in the sight of the man before her. She hadn’t properly looked at him until now. Her mind had been so focused on saving his life that she had missed the fact that he was a fairly handsome man. 

Billy couldn’t help but notice the woman staring at him. “You know staring at me like that doesn’t exactly reassure me that the food isn’t poisoned.” He deadpanned. She blushed in embarrassment and looked away mumbling a quiet “shut up” in return.

The two sat in an awkward silence while Billy ate. The sound of a sharp pained inhale followed by hushed cursing snapped (y/n) out of whatever thoughts she had been thinking, her (e/c) eyes snapping over to the injured man.  

“One to ten. What’s the pain at? One being no pain and ten being excruciating.” She asked calmly as if she’d asked this question a million times. He raised eight fingers while still cursing occasionally under his breath. “I’ll get you some pain meds. When I go into work today I’ll grab antibiotics and stronger pain killers.” She said as she stood up and left the room. 

Billy nodded in acknowledgement and watched his caretaker leave. He lifted the gauze with a shaking hand to find a neatly stitched knife wound. He brought his hand to his face feeling lightheaded and dizzy. Must’ve lost a shit ton of blood. Why the fuck did she let me walk in? How long until I can get out of here? How is she so calm? Questions raced through his mind. He was so lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed (y/n) walking in with a small cup with a pill in it. 

“Take this” She said, making him jump. (Y/n) chuckled at his skittishness holding the cup out towards him. He glared at her. “Don’t fucking laugh.” His smooth voice said with a hint of anger. He took the cup with a still shaking hand and downed the pill with the water she had given him earlier. 

She crossed her arms shaking her head softly smiling, “That confirms it. You’re an idiot with no survival instinct.”. He lifted an eyebrow as if to ask why. “You were so skeptical about the food I gave you but take a random pill that a stranger gives you without hesitation?” She answered his wordless question incredulously. After a moment of thinking he replied with “You said that there’s no reason to poison me after doing all that work to save me.” 

 “Touché”

[beesmygod]

ive spent the last 2 days anxiously calling the stupid med center for my blood test results. yesterday they werent done yet. ok. fine. today i called 2 hours before closing and they took a ton of my info and then said a nurse would call me back. i have received negative tests over the phone, so when they say "we'll have a nurse call you back" im leaning toward the results being positive.

the annoying thing is that im not anxious abt having lupus. like, if it is lupus, then the next step is a treatment plan and a reduction of symptoms/complications. thats good! because im cautiously admitting to myself that i feel fucking terrible and it might even be for reasons that are not self-inflicted or caused by my own laziness/negligence.

what i am REALLY anxious about is that it will come back negative and i'll have to realize that i fell for the meme of pathologizing the human condition. im not excited about the concept of coming to terms with the fact that this is as good as it gets when it comes to inhabiting a human body. ive been feeling like this since i was like, in middle school. i thought god just decided i should feel like this and this was the lot i was stuck with in life.

IF IT IS LUPUS, then ive spent the last week having a flare-up and ive been able to recognize it as such. if i hadnt got the stupid butterfly rash, i would have never even dawned on me that lupus could be a factor. i woke up today with plantar fascia, a symptom i only started noticing when i started living in places with hardwood floors instead of primarily carpet. the random throbbing pains in my knuckles, ankles, knees and right shoulder coincide with bad inflammation days. i only started noticing a pattern when i realized the days i hurt matched with the days that my engagement ring was hard to take off. ive realized that i have a near monthly event where i feel like i "almost catch the flu" and then dont. i thought i was lucking out. lol. combine this with the tightness/chest pain (I AM GETTING TREATMENT DONT NAG ME) and the period after i moved here where i lost insane amounts of hair for months on and off....

but like, what if its negative. what if my body just fucking sucks.

why didnt they call me. i hate this.

[deathfavor]

@healingscars said: [ bloody ] sender arrives at receiver's doorstep bleeding and injured @ kazutora

you're the only person i can turn to prompts

" Hmm? " Kazutora lifts his head from the couch when he hears a thump against the front door of the Valhalla base. Well that was odd to say the least. Most would just come right on in unless it was some drunkard who didn't realize this place wasn't vacant like its state would suggest. But it's just him right now so might as well take a look. He huffs and shoves his phone in his pocket before he hops up and opens the front.

" Yo, what the fuck happened to you? " Kazutora raises his eyebrows at the sight in front of him. Obviously a fight of some kind had to have happened but that wasn't any of the good details! Guess they were in bad shape and in the area to come here of all places. Kazutora does however step out of the way to let Izumi into the hideout. It isn't as if these concrete floors were any stranger to blood. Far from it, they definitely knew blood more than a good clean. " Hope you didn't lose or there's going to be problems. " Specifically with Hanma most likely, although who would be the enforcer could be either one of them. A future problem though for now.

Gold eyes squint to assess the damage. If they were still bleeding then it probably was at least going to need some bandaging. Hope they knew better first aid than he did. " I'll go get you the med kit. " Even if most of them didn't really use it unless they were really roughed up, most gangs still had some somewhere. Valhalla was no exception to this rule. Though it definitely took some looking around to find where it had migrated to since he last saw it.

" Got it! " Kazutora gives a loud announcement from one of the back rooms before he walks out and back towards the main area with it in tow. " We got some gauze and all the basic shit. Anything real bad though and you'll probably have to go to the hospital or phone someone else to help because I'm no doctor. " Kazutora remarks as he sets it down and pops open the lid. Plenty of bandages and disinfectant at least. " Oh. We got a shit ton of pain killers too if you want some of those. " He adds helpfully while picking out what seems like it would be the most useful.

[never-surrender]

Hey you guys!! I'm home!!! I can't put this under a read more, so don't go on if you don't wanna know about my surgery ❤️

My team was amazing, my anesthesiologist in particular was amazing. I only got to the count of 6 before I was under, and I woke up to a nurse bullying me to breath more than 12 breaths a minute LMAO. The worst part... or at.least one of 2 of the worst parts was the fact when I was out of recovery, they wanted to put me in a chair as quickly as possible that reclined... it was hard and uncomfortable and just awful in general. The second worst part? I heaved up my first round of big pain meds, and so after a bit I raw dogged the pain. I asked for iv meds... and it took them 20 minutes to get it and nearly sent me into shock. I was freezing, I was shaking and shivering, about to fucking cry... and finally got it and calmed the fuck down lmao. I was out of there in 3 hours from the time I got to my room, and honestly? Aside from being a little sore, I'm fine. I'm not tired, I'm not in a ton of pain... I'm snuggled with my heating pad, under a blanket, and just chilling watching my husband's reactions to the last of us as he gets caught up lmao

But anyways, yeah that's the update!

[bonesandthebees]

Ider if i told u but i got my wisdom teeth removed today and that shit was the worst experience of my life ohmygod

The actual procedure went okay, though like i took an anti anxiety med that was supposed to knock me out but i was Fully Conscious LMFAO AND SO I ASKED THEM TO GIVE ME THE OTHER ONE BUT THEY WERE LIKE "naur bro ur fine" BC I WSNT FREAKING OUT A TON DJFKGKF WHICH I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR (tho it turned out to be a good thing bc those meds ended up making me . Hashtag emetophobia tw ifykwim)

BUT YEAH THE RECOVERY PROCESS WAS SHITTTT THEY TOLD ME I COULD TAKE OUT THE GAUZE IN 2 HRS AND SLEEP BC I WAS VERY TIRED BUT NOOOO IT WOUKDNT HEALLL FOR A WHOLE SIX ASS HOURS

Ahem sorry for yelling i was just very . Upset bc i wanted to sleep or even just drink fucking water man

BUT I DIDDD EVENTUALLY I DIDD WE REJOICEEE i think there was still a little bit of blood but i couldnt taste it anymore and i was really thirsty so shfkfkf and food (literally just broth lmao) made me feel a lot better so that's good

But yeah . -1100000 experience i would literally never recommend it (unless u have to, also from who I've talked to almost everyone else has had a better experience than me so if u are scared, do not worry king it won't be that bad. And even if it is like me, im here!! And alive!! And the nausea wasnt that bad, it kinda just came and went. Much better than migraines bro fr, migraines suck BALLS)

Like everyone kept telling me to watch a movie but that was stressing me out so what i ended up doing wss putting on a podfic (passerine podcast on yt woot woot, i listened to change fate by sircantus) and man it's actually wild how much it helped me. It helped calm my anxiety AND distract me from the pain. Once i did that existing felt less like suffering and more like an annoyance ahahah

OUGH I DIDNT EVEN GET ANY SILLY GOOFY MOMENTS EITHER BC I WASNT LOOPY AT ALL JUST TIRED DHFJFK

Anyways ty for letting me get that out of my system LMAOO

oh man this sounds literally horrible I'm so sorry icy 😭 that sucks that you weren't able to knock out even a little bit but at least the procedure itself wasn't horrible

god that sounds terrible though just sitting there for 6 hours waiting to be able to take the gauze out. that's so strange that it took so long. but at least you were able to listen to passerine podcast that's nice!!

everyone I know whose gotten their wisdom teeth removed had a better experience than this I am so sorry you got so unlucky.

I'm very grateful that I'm never gonna have to get my wisdom teeth removed. I had soooo much horribly painful dental work done to my mouth throughout my entire teen years that I now genuinely get bad anxiety anytime I'm in a dentist office even if I'm not there for myself, I straight up was getting anxious when I took my grandma there for a cleaning the other day 😭 and I keep putting off a recommended (minor) procedure bc of this anxiety it's badddd

I hope you're feeling better now though!!

[ragingstillness]

Just watched Seventh Son for the first time and here are my thoughts:

Master Gabriel (or whatever the fuck his name was) is an irredeemable asshole the entire movie and never gets better

Ben Barnes (Tom Ward) does an excellent job and truly carries this movie. I hope he took some meds for the back pain.

Julianne Moore as Mother Malkin is everything to me. And uh, why does she treat the witches better than most anyone else treats anyone else in the movie? I was on her side since the first scene and stayed solidly there through almost all of the movie.

Alice, Alice’s mom, Tom’s mom, the leopard chick, the women rule this movie. Ben carries it, but the women own it.

The CGI is decent. Some of it is really good, some of it is weak, pretty even tossup.

I would recommend watching it because it’s cute in spots and funny in others and Ben and the witches do an excellent job.

The writing…is shit. There’s no other way to say it. The movie holds itself together for maybe 30 minutes then completely breaks down. Macguffin after macguffin, exposition dumps near the end of the movie, plot armor, plot convenience, awkward dialogue, just all of it. If you don’t let go and try to just be along for the ride the writer in you will definitely get offended. Master whatever is easily the worst character in the movie and is often the cause of all of these. The movie also has a ton of prejudice in it (fantasy racism, not irl prejudice) and while some good issues are brought up they are never explored and the end of the movie pretty much smushes any serious themes you thought the movie would eventually touch on. Seriously, the ending sucks. I hated it.

But the movie in general is overall fine. I’d give it a 6.5/10. Worth a watch. Not worth a rewatch.

Bonus:

Other pieces of media this reminded me of at various times: The Witcher, Ranger’s Apprentice, Monty Python, Stardust, The Exorcist, Lord of the Rings, The Emperor’s New Groove, and Charmed.

[lambsearandlavender]

Never did update what was going on. My seizure study in December uncovered constant tachycardia with huge spikes every time I stood up, cardiac unit calling constantly, everyone asking if I was having chest pain or trouble breathing, etc.

From there I started watching my pulse closer on my smart watch & yeah, it was spiking ~30 bpm from laying to sitting, sitting to standing, etc. It's high at its lowest and really high anytime I move lol.

My gp and my integrative med team agreed that I definitely have pots and put me on propranolol, started me on electrolyte drinks and a wedge pillow compression wear etc etc. It was helping a little but not nearly as much as we hoped, but

Backup a little, I was also having SO MANY SEIZURES due to a memory I uncovered in emdr (which is overall going well and I'm going back down on # of seizures) plus I had tons of upcoming appointments, tilt table test, wait list for a pt specializing in cfs, wait list for a pain clinic, etc. So I took a 2 month short term disability leave from work and hit it hard on therapy and pots management.

On the last day of my leave, I had my tilt table test, and tested negative for pots and the other things it tests for. They said I look totally healthy.

I'm also still in the wait list for pt and the pain clinic... so my 2 months off feels like kind of a waste. And not moving much bc I was waiting to see a specialist about how to hurt myself less when I do, means I'm now seriously struggling with walking.

Also just, I taught my whole family about pots bc I was like, soft-diagnosed. And pots plus cfs really perfectly explained everything going on with me. Now I feel like I'm back to square one, no answers, no treatment plan, no help. Sick and might as well be crazy. I'm fucking devastated. Really struggling with suicidal ideation. My therapist knows and we're working on reasons to stick around, but... they're pretty small and few right now

[charlesoberonn]

My bad, it was a reddit comment responding to a post about missing people you met in dreams.

The original comment was deleted but here's a repost

Transcript under the cut:

A Parallel Life / Awoken By A Lamp

throw away account cause this is really personal.

My last semester at a certain college I was assulted by a football player for walking where he was trying to drive (note he was 325lbs I was 120lbs), while unconscious on the ground I lived a different life.

I met a wonderful young lady, she made my heart skip and my face red, I pursued her for months and dispatched a few jerk boyfriends before I finally won her over, after two years we got married and almost immediately she bore me a daughter.

I had a great job and my wife didn't have to work outside of the house, when my daughter was two she [my wife] bore me a son. My son was the joy of my life, I would walk into his room every morning before I left for work and doted on him and my daughter.

One day while sitting on the couch I noticed that the perspective of the lamp was odd, like inverted. It was still in 3D but... just.. wrong. (It was a square lamp base, red with gold trim on 4 legs and a white square shade). I was transfixed, I couldn't look away from it. I stayed up all night staring at it, the next morning I didn't go to work, something was just not right about that lamp.

I stopped eating, I left the couch only to use the bathroom at first, soon I stopped that too as I wasn't eating or drinking. I stared at the fucking lamp for 3 days before my wife got really worried, she had someone come and try to talk to me, by this time my cognizance was breaking up and my wife was freaking out. She took the kids to her mother's house just before I had my epiphany.... the lamp is not real.... the house is not real, my wife, my kids... none of that is real... the last 10 years of my life are not fucking real!

The lamp started to grow wider and deeper, it was still inverted dimensions, it took up my entire perspective and all I could see was red, I heard voices, screams, all kinds of weird noises and I became aware of pain.... a fucking shit ton of pain... the first words I said were "I'm missing teeth" and opened my eyes. I was laying on my back on the sidewalk surrounded by people that I didn't know, lots were freaking out, I was completely confused.

At some point a cop scooped me up, dragged/walked me across the sidewalk and grass and threw me face down in the back of a cop car, I was still confused.

I was taken to the hospital by the cop (seems he didn't want to wait for the ambulance to arrive) and give CT scans and shit..

I went through about 3 years of horrid depression, I was grieving the loss of my wife and children and dealing with the knowledge that they never existed, I was scared that I was going insane as I would cry myself to sleep hoping I would see her in my dreams. I never have, but sometimes I see my son, usually just a glimpse out of my peripheral vision, he is perpetually 5 years old and I can never hear what he says.

EDIT (24 hours after post): never though anyone would read this, I changed a line so that it no longer seems that my 2 year old daughter bore a child.

I have never seen Inception or the Star Trek episode so many have mentioned (but I will eventually)

I will not do an AMA

I've had many PM's describing similar experiences and 3 posters stating such experiences are impossible, I'd say more research needs to be done on brain functions. Pre-med students, don't assume you know everything.

A few have asked if they can write a book/screen play/stage play/rage comic etcetera, please consider this tale open source and have fun with it

-- u/temptotosssoon

she let me hit because i’m- [i remember she didn’t actually let me hit] [i remember she never really existed] [i remember the accident] oh my god the accident…

[possumpop]

Top surgery recovery diary - day 0

starting a little diary of my top surgery recovery for posterity and reference for other transmascs!

cw: discussions of needles/IVs, controlled pain killers, and urine samples

(im currently nearly falling asleep as i type this, so it may be slightly incoherent)

type of surgery: double-incision mastectomy, with free nipple grafts! surgeon: Dr Jessica Jen-Tau Hsu, at the UofM Brighton Center for Specialty Care

i arrived at the clinic at 12:45pm, and was taken back right around 1pm. apparently they were running ahead of schedule, which is something you almost never hear at a hospital

both my boyfriend luke and my mom came back with me, which was nice. i only got to meet with my surgeon (Dr. Hsu at uofm) once today, very briefly. she drew on my surgery lines, took my vitals, and then left. i did have to give a urine sample to ensure i wasnt pregnant (annoying standard feature)

then a rotating cast of nurses and doctors all met with me, gave me info about the procedure, gave me some pain + nausea meds, and also wrapped my arms in heated blankets to help with the IV insertion

it did not help enough though, bc i come from a long line of tiny-as-fuck-veins, and was also dehydrated, so they had to try a second time with an ultrasound. wasnt as bad as i thought it would be, but it still SUCKED. i have a phobia of veins and also IVs so that was the worst part. my mom offered her hand for me to squeeze the shit out of while i tried my best to not faint

once that iv was in though they gave me some relaxation meds, and i was very quickly taken back into the operating room, at around like 2:15pm. the second they put the mask on me i was out like a light. i dont even think they told me it was the anesthesia lol

i was out of surgery by 4:15pm, and was up and awake at 4:30pm. they were very impressed by how quickly i woke up and how lucid i was. they got me some applesauce and i downed it like a dying man. they also gave me some more pain killers bc i was Sore. apparently the surgery went great though!

after the pain meds kicked in, they gave luke a tutorial on drain draining, and went over pain killer management. basically just extra strength tylenol, and some Good Stuff for the first week. its ridiculous how cheep oxy is at the hospital, i think they said that even if my insurance didnt cover it, it wouldve only been like $8??? it ended up being just over a dollar lol

once they ripped my IV out i was ready to go, and i was in the car otw home by 5:45pm! all in total i spent 6 hours there, which was less than i expected. the ride home wasnt as painful as i expected, but i had my pompompurin blanket cushioning me from the seatbelt a bit. im supposed to drain my drains again at close to midnight, and cant take more pain killers until 9:30pm.

total removed weight: 4.5 lbs. my surgeon guessed 3lbs total and I guessed 3lbs for each boob, and it ended up being right in the middle! the additional decimals leaned it closer to 6 though so i count that as a win

im currently somewhat sore, kinda a dull ache mixed with some itchiness. and as i said at the top, sleepy. i was extremely hungry but ive got some slow-cooked chicken, peas, and cottage cheese and im feeling Good now

tips for anyone else getting this surgery: drink a ton of water the days before, so you dont have tiny tiny veins. and on the day of, you wont be able to drink anything but water, and will have to stop 2 hours before you arrive. if you know youre gonna need to do any kind of urine sample, try to wait until you get to the hospital to go pee!